#remember how four weeks ago i was like haha summer school is gonna take over my life

[piilokarsastus]

Question time!

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? because life is hard and i just don’t understand what i’m doing wrong but everyone else seems to know

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? nope. and to be fair, i would be sleeping anyway

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? if it’s like an actual thing for them that they do regularly, i’d probably be a bit concerned, but i don’t see anything wrong with trying things out for fun. if you’re just a straight up pothead, we wouldn’t be dating in the first place

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? i guess

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? filling in another pointless question post on tumblr, funny that you should ask

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? unlikely scenario, but i’m gonna say my friends from uni

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? probably spend the next few years thinking about it, unable to trust anyone again

8: Are you close with your dad? not as close as with my mum but still reasonably close

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? i’m curious as to what kind of life you think i’m living because this is not it

10: What are you listening to? the soothing hum of my laptop fan

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? woter:)

12: Do you like hickeys? i don’t exactly understand the point

13: What time do you go to bed? going to bed and falling asleep are two very different things but usually around 2-4

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? me. it’s me.

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? definitely not

16: Do you always answer your texts? sooner or later, yes

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? no

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? not that long ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? all of my friends

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? aight imma head out

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? no

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? in a sense i do

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? i feel like i was, yeah

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? well there’s nothing to “fix” per se, i just wish things went differently

25: In the past week, have you cried? yes

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? red

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? my aunt often does, weirdly enough

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? only every single one of the 4 people i’ve messaged on tinder recently. which makes me feel really great

29: Do you have a best friend? there’s someone i could perhaps call my best friend but i don’t think i have a “true” best friend at the moment like those i’ve had before

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? no i’m completely neutral towards her

31: Who was your last call from? my friend tried to call me yesterday but i couldn’t answer

32: Are you mad at anyone? no

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? marginally, yes

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? honestly i don’t know?? i don’t remember when she was born exactly but i feel like we were born in the same year at least, so i’m guessing either 21 or 22

35: How many more days until your birthday? 329

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? summer literally just ended so no

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? not exactly a fan of the word opposite in this context but i get what you mean. so yeah, most of my friends are of the “opposite” sex

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? nothing that would be their business to know

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? i guess i do.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? i haven’t kissed nearly enough people for there to be any regrets. soo... would you like to be my first regret? haha just kidding... unless...

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? not going to write the essay that the wording of this question warrants but basically yes but only to some extent; what’s more important is that you’re in a similar phase in life and have similar expectations about the relationship. age can be a large factor in those things as well as your “maturity” but it isn’t the only factor.

42: Are you available? yeah bitch hmu

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? two

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? well i guess it’d have to be a septum, then

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? yes, in fact that’s my life philosophy

46: Do you regret anything? :)) i don’t think about it as much as i used to but i’ve never fully forgiven myself for confessing my feelings to someone who wasn’t interested in me. this is known as the february 2019 incident

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? tiddies

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? yeah, not to death but to life

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? no

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? i don’t quite like anyone at the moment and it’s gonna take a long time until i’m ever going to have the courage to make a move on anyone i’m interested in because of the aforementioned incident

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? no

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? no, like there’s nothing negative between us and we’d say hello if we met on the street but we just don’t talk 

53: What was the last thing you ate? pancake:)

54: Did you get any compliments today? haven’t really interacted with anyone today so no

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? bich this is my vacation, i’m going nowhere except to bed

56: Do you own anything from other countries? yes. like i’m a bit amused by this question like where on this planet can you even live where at least some of your stuff hasn’t been made in China etc. (well, i guess that would be China). but even if you’re referring to souvenirs from trips etc, still yes

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life? in Oulu, Finland

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? a few months ago, but i wasn’t the one driving

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? yes, also known as the game where my friends try to find out who i have a crush on

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? i had to google what TPing means and i’m more and more scared of americans every day

62: Who do you text the most? honestly my social life is at a point where my most common recurring interaction is exchanging cat videos with my mum (apart from group chats)

63: What was the last movie you saw? the matrix

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? yeah as if i have one

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010? 2010?? damn i was literally 10

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? we were around the same age

67: Do you curse around your parents? for comedic effect

68: Are you happy with where you live? not my dream apartment but it’s okay

69: Do you collect anything? my tiktok seems to have become a collection of about 250 cute lgbt folks, but other than that, no

70: What’s your favourite colour? a kind of deep, ultramarine blue

71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone? not in particular

72: Has anyone ever cheated on you? no

73: What are your plans for tomorrow? make some music

74: Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? i don’t have any

75: Does your last ex have a job? not that i know of

76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? she is and i’m happy for her, or as happy as i can be while being painfully aware of the fact that my love life hasn’t gone anywhere in the past two years

77: Where is your cellphone? on the floor, charging

78: What colour is your cellphone? black and bronze

79: What did you dream of last night? it was something fairly nsfw and extremely hot and i lterally had to pause for a second when i woke up because damn it’s been so fucking long since i’ve experienced that irl and it left me with a bad case of yearning

80: Are you atheist? yes

81: Will you change your name when you get married? no

82: Are you ready for autumn weather? would be a bit too late if i wasn’t

83: Have you had any big storms recently? there was one that was rumoured to be really big but tbh i barely noticed it 

84: What kind of bottoms are you wearing? just my comfy pajamas

#Random info about me

[sheusedtobesassier]

Day 10,330

Home alone for the first time in I think three weeks?? And by home I mean Allynda’s home. Lights off almost everywhere. Moon lamp, Scentsy dark crystal, candle, streetlight, three more candles, and the lowest lighting of the touch lamp. The Ballad of Love and Hate playing. Just got out of a hot hot bath during which I decided I feel capable of writing out the love story, well at minimum the beginning of it. I would call the start the best part, but I hesitate to say so. Intimacy was the best. Before that was just the delicious anticipation of that. Yeah so I realized I want to write about it tonight which was the smallest gasp of relief. I know there was a time when I couldn’t fathom remembering the sweetness. Begged for protection from those memories actually. And truthfully, I think that prayer was heard and answered. Sure they suddenly come for me sometimes, but they’re almost always quick and painless, like a shiver. Like a muscle memory. Phantom. Hm, hm.

“You’re still all over me like a wine stained dress I can’t wear anymore.”

We knew each other back when we were kids. To be specific, he was definitely a kid and I was in high school haha. (I believe he’s four years younger than me.) We were goof around pals that saw each other occasionally when our churches got together for Christianese functions. It wasn’t a close friendship, but me and my friends were very fond of him and his best friend. I left home in 2010 and probably interacted with him online once or twice throughout the next seven years of wandering on my own. I wasn’t keeping tabs.

November 2017. His best friend ended up falling head over heels in love with an old friend of mine. They had a sweet little “café con leche” wedding ceremony. There were a whole pile of people I knew at the reception and we filled up a long table. I noticed two friends seemed to be checking somebody out and when I curiously turned to follow their eyes, there was Omar. And uh, haha, he was definitely no longer a kid. Broad shoulders and the longest curls. I noted that he was nervously glancing around the room, probably looking for someone he knew. (I found out later it was an uncomfortable wedding for him.) Without a second thought, I stood up and excited rushed over to him. It was a short conversation, an exchange of pleasantries. What he’d been up to and what I’d been doing. He told me he was a vagabond and I told him I’d just been assigned the role of Staff Director at Sky Lodge. I mentioned that if he didn’t have anything going on in the summer he should come up and work. He said it’s something he had considered before and gave me a maybe. I don’t believe I saw him again the rest of the night.

Fast forward to the spring hiring season. For a few months, week after week, day after day, I was trying to round up summer staff, particularly a strong adult leadership team. I was interacting with maybe 100 college kids throughout this process with the goal of getting around 12 of them to commit to a full summer at camp. It is a grueling process. That spring specifically I felt like I was being forced to relentlessly coerce others to apply for a ministry they seemed to have Absolutely Zero Interest in. The applicants I did have were concerning to me as far as trustworthiness. I knew I wasn’t doing a great job and that knowing made it hard to do even a good job. Once May came around I had no fight left in me. And then I got weird messages from Omar. He had said early on that he wasn’t available, but whatever he had lined up fell through so he was wondering if there were still spots. I sent him the info and he said he’d apply that evening. A couple days later nothing had come through from him so I messaged him to see what was up. He had read the application and was no longer interested. I had a gut feeling and asked, “Is it because you don’t think you want to work for us or because you think you won’t get hired?” He told me it was a little of both and felt like parts of the application process were intrusive. Which, lol, he wasn’t wrong. I was thrilled. Asked if he’d be willing to fill it out and then have a longer discussion with me about his misgivings. He said he would. I remember calling my sister after I read what he submitted and giddy announcing, “HE’S A REAL LIFE PERSON.” He hadn’t given religious robot answers. He’d been forthright and controversial. He would bring something So Different than everybody else I was hiring AND THAT POSSIBILITY WAS DEEPLY INTRIGUING TO ME. I scheduled his interview, knowing I’d be deciding if we were going to hire him BUT ALSO he would be deciding if he wanted to come. I told him he should take a few days to really really think it through, talk it over with people he trusted, and genuinely pray about it. I started asking God to work it out if it was supposed to.

Okay. A little pause because I’m about to write about a part that I want to make sure comes off as how it actually was. First, I want to be clear that I was 0% attracted to this person at this stage. We were both grown, but he was still a kid to me. A long ago friend who I’d lost touch with. I was in boss mode, desperate to have admirable leaders I could count on for the summer (which was only a week away). Second, there was a specific season of my life where I considered myself very in tune with the Holy Spirit. I communicated with Her consistently and believed I heard from Her pretty often. That may sound kooky to you, but it doesn’t change what I believed then haha. This story I’m telling occurred like, five years after that Era of Very In Tune. Which I feel the need to say because like, interacting with the Holy Spirit still happens in my life, but rarely. I’m not seeking it out as frequently and hardly ever get anything straight from Her. Lol, if this weirds you out, no worries it weirds me out too. Okay so. With those said.

The morning before his phone interview, I was driving around a riding mower praying about the conversation we were going to have. I was concerned that he wasn’t going to choose us, worried about how I might screw up a good thing. I big time wanted to know that he’d be good for camp AND that camp would be good for him. Honestly I probably wanted the second one even more. I was stressing about it to God. And like. I wouldn’t write this except that it’s true. I out of the blue just experienced 100% reassurance that Omar would be at Sky Lodge for the summer. Right there, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was was going to say yes. And like, I knew it was from the Holy Spirit. That familiar Her. Burst into tears because like I said, I wasn’t hearing from Her as much as I used to. So to suddenly experience that rush?? I wept happy tears. When I came in for lunch I told Jeremy we could start putting Omar’s name on all the official lists. He was like, “But you haven’t done the interview yet? And didn’t you say he might not even want to be here?” And I was like, “Look. I know he’s gonna say yes. I can’t explain how, but put him on the lists.” Then I went out in the sun and called him up. We talked through several complicated things. It was an articulate conversation between two people who respected each other. (It is very weird to think about how much I low key instantly trusted Omar.) And lol. The end of the conversation was me big smile saying, “So uh, everybody else is getting here on Thursday to get moved in and settled by 5 o’clock. So.” and then he was big smile basically like, “Okay. Yeah. Well. Huh. Yeah I’ll be there.”

And sure enough he was. Well kind of. He showed up late. Everybody else was going through the line for dinner when he called me to say he was here but not sure where to go. I ran out of the dining room and saw his black car pull in. Showed him to park down by Maple. Noticed the John Mayer poster rolled up in his back window so we chatted about our mutual fondness for him on the quick stroll to the Lodge. I remember as dinner was finishing up the Foremen were starting to gather. I was staying on the edge, interested to see the beginnings of all their dynamics. Noticed Omar keeping his distance, but not in an uncomfortable way? Like, he definitely wasn’t exuberant, but he wasn’t closed off either. He was wearing the DAYDREAMER hoodie. He couldn’t hold still? I decided I didn’t need to worry about him and hoped he would pick buddies soon.

Foreman Training. Okay. He was definitely the most interesting person in the room. I mean, besides me of course. He was laid back and whenever he spoke up it was good for everybody. He kept giving out nicknames. Playful. Oh lol, when we’d take breaks, he and Elicia had a game of pool going on which was great because it gave the other girls the chance to watch him flirt. He was noticeably special. I was glad I hired him, because he consistently brought the group’s average up. And we got along well. One night after training had wrapped up the two of us got into a chat about the Kardashians, which lead to Kanye, which lead to President Trump, which lead to talking about Omar being brown. On my walk to my home, I txted him apologizing for maybe expressing too much and not asking enough questions. He told me not to worry and thanked me for the conversation. THERE WERE NO BUTTERFLIES YET. This was my first shot at being a true blue leader and I wasn’t taking that lightly. Being good for everybody working for me was my obsession.

Foreman Campout. Okay. Several things happened here that I want to note.

1. We had a mega controversial meeting about cell phones, during which I suggested we make an official policy that Foremen would leave their phones up in my office unless they needed them for something. It was a kick I was on mostly. A very firm belief that the less the Foremen were on their phones the higher quality their summer would be. There was immediate pushback. I was fending off tiny arguments. Suddenly Omar gave this rallying speech of like, “Come on guys. What the heck? Why are we being babies about this? This could be a really good thing for us!” And that settled it. He had power.

2. The morning after it rained there was a little pack of us huddled up in the gazebo talking about what the storm had been like for us. I asked if anybody had a pen I could borrow and Omar ran to get me one from his backpack. I journaled something like, “Last night I tried to imagine somebody to fall asleep with and couldn’t think of anyone. It’s nice to not be even a little in love with anybody.” AND I MEANT THAT. THERE WERE NO VIBES YET.

3. We all went tubing together and slowly but surely got split up into tinier squads. I was with Marissa and Omar, which was the ideal scenario for me. A lot of stupidity and laughter. Goofballs. There was definitely a point where I was wondering if there was chemistry between them. They drifted further ahead than me towards the end and I thought, “Interesting. We’ll see how that unfolds.” Once everybody was back on land I heard a bit of, “Ooh did you see Omar and Marissa?” It wasn’t a match in my head, but I didn’t think that hard about it.

4. The drive back to Sky Lodge, haha. Omar and I were both on the first bench. Him in the middle and me next to the sliding door. Jeremy was driving and Chris was shotgun so the four of us were chatting away. We passed some fields getting irrigated and I made some offhand comment about the Farmers’ Almanac. Omar suddenly turned to me and was like, “What do you know about that?” I tried to defend myself and he was like, “This sounds like you’re just making stuff up.” WHICH. EXCUSE ME. I WAS NOT. I couldn’t believe it. Him just challenging me right to my face. I was surprised and super secretly thrilled. Do you want me to explain that? Like, I didn’t feel dismissed by it. It was like he wasn’t allowing me to sound stupid and get away with it. Like. More was expected of me? He wasn’t gonna let me be high and mighty as his boss. And that like. Lol. It bothered me, but in a good way.

5. Okay this one was his story that he told me later. Both of us were claiming that there wasn’t any attraction happening yet at the campout, but then he was like “Oh hold up.” He said that on that drive back, most of us in the van were slowly falling asleep. I dozed off and was sort of precariously placed, like there was potential my head might land on his shoulder or my knee would drift into his. He said I woke up a little, noted the situation, and arranged myself as far from him as I could. He said he thought, “Why is she being like that?” And then he thought, “Wait actually why is it bothering me that she’s being like that???” Lol.

6. We got back and dropped everybody off at the staff dorm with announcements for the next day. Edith, my right hand woman, had evening rounds so the two of us did a super quick debrief of the trip standing outside my front door. I mostly remember making the statement that we had to look out for Omar because a lot of the girls seemed interested in him. It meant in a few weeks either they would all turn on each other OR all turn on him. Edith laughed and was like, “Well soon him and Elicia are gonna make out. Then nobody else will want him.” We giggled and I was like, “I just don’t want everybody to decide he’s a flirt when he’s actually just comfortable around women.” And like, haha. I WRITE THIS AS PROOF THAT I DIDN’T SEE IT COMING.

Alright so. Lol. Mm, mm. I’m gonna let me hit a hard pause for the night because I’m losing steam. Will come back to this though and soon. It’s a time in my life where I do have the space to get it out and I think I’d like to. Idk if it’ll be healing or useful. I’m not worrying about damage and maybe I should? But. Look. I fell in love with a good one who fell in love with me too. And. I’m not choosing to take my hands off it yet. Still pulled in. Fixated. I keep being afraid that I’m coming off embarrassingly obsessed, panicked that I’m weak and messy. But. Lol. I actually don’t feel like those things at fucking all. I do feel like someone became part of my life and with him I grew in gorgeous ways that I kept wanting to grow in and then I lost that person and now I am having a hard time figuring out some other gorgeous ways I can grow now. And like. I cannot have more of Omar or more from him. Not right now I can’t. But that doesn’t change that I already have a lot of what he did give me. And it’s really mine and I’m not required to like, demolish it to smithereens in order to qualify for moving on.

#personal

[leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst]

ENGLISH TRANSLATION ( Jeannette Nobbe)

VOLSKRANT.NL 31/01/20

by Mennon Pot

https://www.volkskrant.nl/cultuur-media/conchita-wurst-sorry-dat-ik-zo-n-wandelend-cliche-ben~b0477817/

(Conchita) Wurst: 'I'm sorry I'm a walking cliché'.

Above all we know Conchita Wurst as the bearded 'female 'singer who won the ESC in 2014. But we've moved on and are a bit wiser. It´s just Wurst now, but the beard is still there.

With light feathered steps, Thomas Neuwirth (31) enters the conference room of the hotel in Groningen where he is staying: black combat boots, black leather pants, tight black T-shirt, the black beard and the perfect short trimmed jet black hair..

He introduces himself as Tom. It's not difficult to recognise the bearded drag queen Conchita in him. (Kopenhagen, 2014, remember?) but the dress and wig are stowed away for a while. Conchita has a sort of sabbatical, so to speak.

Neuwirth is on tour as a man. Stage name: Wurst. Yesterday evening he performed in Groningen; the next concert will be 7 february at the Melkweg in Amsterdam. His new album 'Truth over Magnitude' also carries the artist´s name Wurst.

Let's get this straight: when the subject is Conchita Wurst, the word 'transgender' sometimes comes a long. Wrongly. Neuwirth is a man, ('but incredibly gay, of course'), who has a choice from now on: being on tour as a drag queen (Conchita) or as a man (Wurst) .

´a lot of fun, being a masculine stage persona', he says. Conchita will turn up again somewhere else.

Holland appreciated Conchita's 'Rise like a Phoenix' with the highest score, almost 6 years ago.

Neuwirth didn't forget: twelve points, douze points from Holland for the bearded diva from Austria.

Then hectic years followed. 'After the Song Contest I thought, I have to make the most of it now, build my fame and cash it in. So I surrounded myself with all kinds of experts, managers, stylists, make/up artists, the whole circus. After 3 years I was exhausted. I couldn´t do it anymore. I told my audience every nigh, be yourself, believe in yourself. But along the way, I forgot myself.´

He got rid of the experts’ circus and is having a relaxed tour now, with a small entourage. He feels good again, although in 2018 he had to announce he is infected with the HIV virus. His manager politely asks, almost in an humble manner, not to talk about that.

Tom doesn´t appear to be very worried about that. There has seldom been a star who starts an interview so cheerfully. ´A great photo shoot and after that talk about things I find beautiful and fun.

Terrific, I was already looking forward to it when I came out of bed.´

´Curriculum Vitae'

1988 – Born as Thomas Neuwirth in Gmunden, Austria

2007 – Candidate at the talentshow Starmania, and boyband Jetzt anders!

2011 – Debut as female persona Conchita Wurst, the debut single `I´ll be there´

2012 - Second place at the Austrian Songfestival

2014 – ESC winner with ´Rise like a Phoenix

2015 – First album ´Conchita´, co-presenter ESC

2018 – Second album ´From Vienna with Love´

2019 – Debut as male stage persona ´Wurst´, third album ´Truth over Magnitude´

2020 – Wurst ´Trust over Magnitude´ Sony Music

Wurst will be performing in the Melkweg in Amsterdam on February 7

SOUNDTRACK

Music from the Motion Picture Titanic ...1997

´My first CD. I was 9 years old when I bought it. `My heart will go on´’changed my life´. As it were, Céline Dion gave me permission to be utterly dramatic and to be over the top. When I came out of the closet, I heard that song in my head.

It was also a liberation for me as a singer. My mom always sang with a thin, high falsetto voice. I thought that was how it should be. Dion taught me, you may yell as hard as you can, with all the power you have in you. When you sing so loud, you can’t fake it. The sound you push out of your body, is the sound of your body, unique and by definition authentic. Céline Dion taught me that singing is something really physical.´

SERIES

The Crown ..Netflix..., 2016 until 2019

´For me it´s getting difficult to watch a movie to the end. I guess that´s because of all the series on Netflix and HBO. My favorite is `The Crown´.. ´the intro alone is so beautiful, that liquid gold that forms a crown, such art. I used to watch it twice. Ít says something about the fact that I can´t choose between the two women who play Elizabeth and the two men who play prince Philip. All the actors are great. The costumes, the stories, the palaces, it´s so delightful. The history also intrigues me, after every episode I checked on Wikipedia if it was really what had happened.

PARTIES

´At Christmas I always come back to Vienna. I love the lights, glitters and decorations, my inner Mariah Carey is looking forward to it every year. Christmas 2019 was extra special because it had been a long time since the whole family came together at my grandmother´s house.´

I would love it to be like that every year... A couple of days being together in one home. Talking, getting to really know my family. Maybe now you think, days on and on with uncles and aunts, such horror! It is easy to say that I don´t really have much in common with these people. But I do, Really. They all have a story and similarities with your stories. Ask them about your life and tell them about yours.´

That´s what Christmas is all about to me. To me, the birth of Jesus has not that much to do with it.´

ISLAND..

I have an agreement with my best friends to go on vacation at least once every two years. We have been to Mykonos a couple of times, THE especially gay island. I´m sorry I sound like a walking cliché.´

The sun, the sea, the beaches, the small streets, so cosy. We rent a house with a pool and for a week or two we live in our own little paradise, actually being a bit tipsy the whole time. Go shopping and cook.´

`What´s also very important, on Mykomos, the wind is always blowing the right way. I love to watch the women, because their dresses and their hair flutter so beautifully.´

STYLE ICON

Victoria Beckham

I was and still am a big Spice Girls fan and I especially admire Victoria Beckham, because she lives her life the way she wants. She appears in tabloids every day, but has survived a crisis in her relationship and has stayed happy with the love of her life and her family. I think that it´s really strong.´

In regard to her style, she can go from very classy to very trashy, I like that. One day she´s wearing a designer dress, the next she and David Beckham are walking in identical jogging suits. She couldn’t care less. I think that it´s inspiring.´

´I think she is utterly authentic, raging through the glamour. Although I have never met her, I´m sure that I could have a lot of fun with her. I´d love to drink some tequila with her for an afternoon or so.´

AGE

30

´I thought becoming 30 was really special, I lost my wild behaviour, came to be more restful. Some way or another I think a lot about some things my mother said: in my twenties, I ignored those lessons, but now I´m 30, I suddenly realised she was right for example how important family and friends are.

I´m 31 now, I have inner peace and my life in order, but I still feel young. I´m convinced that this the best period of my life´. My advise to everybody... be 30.´

ALBUM

Recomposed by Max Richter / The Four Seasons ..2012

I don´t play any instruments and until not too long ago, I didn´t really know much about music. I really found that a pity sometimes. Fortunately, my good friend Martin studies at the School of Musical Arts... !! He´s studying the history of music intensely and tells me about a lot of great composers. I learn a lot from that.´´I never understood classical music and didn´t really know anything about it, but thanks to the listening sessions with Martin I fell in love with Vivaldi..

The pop artist of the classical artists.

´Max Richter interpreted Vivaldi´s Four Seasons and composed it in a modern fashion. It´s a modern, post minimalistic piece, completely different from the original one, but you still recognise it. Greatly done, at the moment it´s my favorite album.´

BOOK

Friedrich Schiller « Ueber die aesthetische Erziehung des Menschen ». About the aesthetic upbringing of the people..´

´A good friend advised me to read the philosophical letters from Friedrich Schiller ..Letters, 1794-1795)

That´s a hard job to do. Because of the old fashioned German I had to read some sentences 5 times. You always have to wrestle yourself through a thick layer of 18th century sexism.

´But further on you´ll find something beautiful. Schiller writes a lot about finding your inner beauty and your own truth. Dare to be yourself. Embrace your darker sides. Those are important as well.´

´At the same time he preaches self-perspective.. don´t take yourself too seriously, you´re not the center of the universe. That is very worthy to me. Namely because I DO think I´m the center of the universe, haha.

`Still it´s very wise of him, to send a message from 1795 to a 21st century queen with a Mariah Carey complex.´

CLUB

Circus in Vienna

´The Arena is a huge complex in Vienna, a concert building with a mega discotheque. A couple of times a year they organize Circus, my favorite gay club night. I always go there with my group of closest friends, but it´s actually a bit of a rule that we lose each other and disappear into the crowd.´

´I roam around all night- Every room, every floor has its own musical theme and decoration. I love the types of people I meet there, their clothes, their fetishisms, everything.´

….Arena Vienna, Baumgasse 80, Vienna

CITY

Amsterdam

´I live in Vienna, I love Vienna and I will always come back there, but the greatest city I´ve been to is Amsterdam – since then I traveled all over the world so I know what I´m talking about.

´Of all the cities I visited, Amsterdam is the only one where I would want to live a period of time. So that´s what I´m gonna do, this summer, for a few months to begin with.´

´I can see that Amsterdam also has the flagship stores from all known store chains. And a lot of tourists, like every special city. But I see all these small jewelry shops where they sell their self-made jewelry. Little bakeries. Cosy streets. And a lot of water. I love water. I love cities with lots of water.´

#conchitawurst #wurst #tomneuwirth #artist #singer #esc2014 #escwinner #music #performer #lgbt #celebrity #interview #translation

[kastartss]

I really need help with my mental health condition, please take your time to read my story (if you are willing to only)

Here’s an introduction. Hey, my (not real) name is Kat. I’m 14 (yes, I know, a literal fetus) and I’m from Vietnam.

Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety, and honestly, I was not surprised. But then the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have had it for almost my entire life, and I have only been around for 14 years. I felt my social anxiety kick in when I was about in year one in primary school. I remember how bubbly I was of a toddler, always waving and saying hi to adults in my neighborhood. But then I went to school and things changed. I got 2 close friends, let’s call them A and P. I hung out with them, but before I had those two friends, I never recall being in a place without friends. In kindergarten, as far as I could remember, I have many friends. So when I go to school for the first time, I didn’t have close friends. I was still bubbly at the time, talking to kids in my class, but in break time, I have no one to talk with. Even after I got A and P as my friends, sometimes they would gang up on me and I would have total breakdowns and sitting alone, feeling betrayed because no one likes me.

I think that's when I started being less of an exuberant child. I noticed that I have stopped waving to adults, I became more terrified of being around strangers or performing on stage (which was a thing I did all the time in kindergarten). And as time goes on, I develop the fear of trivial things, getting worried every time I go on a trip or holiday (eg. fear that the plane will crash, fear that there would be tsunami at the beach, etc.) or having existential crisis or death related worries. And then when I reach grade four, I got my first crush, I spent all night crying because wow, new emotion unlocked. He’s this sporty boy, sitting next to me in classes, and guess what? He had a crush on my then best friend. I slowly realize, when I reach secondary school, that I am less valuable than many. 

On the second week of sixth grade (secondary school), I had a mental breakdown and I stayed in the bathroom for the entire English lit lesson. The teachers found me, but I couldn’t explain why I ran away. I found it too embarrassing. I ran away because every seats next to a girl is taken and I would’ve had to sit next to this big, scary boy. I didn't know why I felt that way, why I panicked over such a small and stupid thing, but that night I went home, told my mom school’s fine, and found a knife to just end myself.

But of course I didn’t. I was afraid of getting hurt. I was afraid of seeing the life leaving my body. And I remember my mom telling me my life is the most important thing I have.

The reason I’m afraid of getting hurt is pretty damn simple: my mom hit me all the time as a kid. I’m not traumatized by it. But do I cry at night, getting upset and guilty about the things I did to deserve it? Yes, yes I did. But did I think much of it or find ways to stop getting hit? No, no I didn't. I got hit all the time for lying, for not obeying, for being lazy. But my mom really loves me, she does. She yelled at me, she slapped me, she threw books at my face, humiliated me sometimes in public, and hit me with broomsticks and clothes hangers because she said “she wanted the best for me”. She wanted me to change for the better but haha jokes on her, the more she hit me the more stubborn I get. And so update: I’m still getting hit by her for doing shits recently. I have questioned if it’s abusive or not, because I know she got anger issues and she said that herself, to not let her get angry. But in my country, getting hit by your moms is like a casual thing. It’s like depression jokes, we joke about our fucked up mental health and in my place we joke about getting hit my our moms. It's too common that I don't know if it’s abusive or not anymore, that’s one thing I need help on.

Back to the main story. So sixth grade is the time I start feeling conscious about my body. I’m gonna bluntly say this: my body is disproportionally fat. It was as a kid, and it still is now. My legs and arms are normal, not too skinny, but normal, but my body, the torso and chest area, oh boy, that's where all the fat is. If my body fat is spread out evenly, I wouldn’t have complained, it would be beautiful. But despite how much I tried, the fat would only be in that area, and I look ugly in everything. I got self conscious when we did a movie project, I got self conscious when I have to wear stage costumes, and I start acknowledging that I’m not the popular girl. I don't get why girls my age use lipstick and make up, and how they have money to buy expensive clothes. I was naïve, and I wanted to be like them: popular and valued by people. I was the wallflower, no one knows me except my few friends and I don't expect them to. I started developing a mindset that no one remembers me, and I’m insignificant. 

Grade seven, I changed school. And it’s when I found out about fandoms. I liked Harry Potter, and I wrote some fanfictions that one of my friends encourage me to post it on Wattpad, so I did. That’s when I made internet friends, and I got exploited to issues like lgbtqa+, pop culture, and mental health. One of my internet friends, let’s call her W, is queer and got depression. That’s when I started digging deep in these issues, learning about mental health and how to help people with them. And that’s when I start realizing I may have a mental health problem. W attempted suicide last year, in 2017. Fortunately, she survived. I had spent many nights texting her out of it, cheering her up, and the more I’m around her, the more I discover about myself.

This year, I’ve learnt things about myself that I would've had no idea about two years ago. I identify as bisexual, and thinking about a year ago, I still thought being gay is unfortunate. In my country, same sex marriage is legal, but is not very welcomed by the people and is considered a touchy subject. Many consider it an illness and pity people whom identify as such. Generally, no one really cares until it’s their children. My mom didn't like it. She thinks it’s a phase (classic.) and being bi would bring disadvantages to my life (she’s very wrong I daresay it’s literally 20gayteen and two women from the Bachelor Vietnam just ditched the guy for each other???) and that makes me doubt if my mom is ever right (she’s very convincing in most situations, unfortunately). 

I also learnt about my anxiety, like I noted. Two weeks ago, I seek help from the school counselor after being tempted to kill myself out of pure self hate. I have had extreme self hate for the last month but I thought it’s normal. One event that lead to me thinking this way is that one fight I had with my parents that my mom threatened to jump off the window to die and to leave the house forever, she said how terrible I am and I felt like being slapped across the face being it just hit me then: I am terrible. When I was younger I thought people don't like me because im ugly and I really wanted them to like me for my personality. But then the fight happen and I found out: im ugly both inside and outside. That’s when I started to lose hope, my grades (which was going bad before) got worse and when I got a bad result for maths finals, I got devastated and got a panic attack. I climbed to the tallest floor in my school building and lie there, falling asleep and let my mind shut down. My plan was to jump off the building and end my life but the door to outside was locked so I just curled up there and cry. I got found two hours later, and the teachers told me absolute bullshit because my country is absolutely obsolete about mental health. 

It just got worse and worse since March. My mom says I should stop being lazy, stop procrastinating, be more productive and I hate being at home, because my mom use my bedroom as her workplace and I have no privacy. I have to face my mom all day in summer, and that drove me crazy. Even when I had the chance to go to England for a month for summer camp, I still feel insignificant and lonely when I stare at the crowds being happy. My anxiety is super clear, but oh boy how funny I was. 

I thought I was faking it. I thought all of this is me wanting people to pity me, so I have to fake my anxiety and depression. Most of the times I look up for symptoms of depression and anxiety, I hope those symptoms match. Because I wanna be right, I don't wanna be an attention seeker, I want something to blame for my behaviors. 

All the tests I took for depression tell me I have severe depression. But some days I don't feel down or anything. I just felt fine, and deep down I feel guilty for not caring, because does this mean i’m faking my mental illness oh my god. I have a girlfriend. We broke up once, and now we are talking again. She’s in America and we only can text each other, but I don't feel like im ever good enough for her. All I feel is self hate and unworthiness. 

This is the thing I want you guys to help me about: Do I really have these mental illnesses? Am I making it up? Am I just paranoid and crave attention?

The thing that makes me doubting myself is the fact that around me, many kids are raised like me. Being hit my their moms, have the same education, but they’re not depressed. they don't have social anxiety. They’re doing alright. So I’m afraid this is because I got myself into this myself by going on the internet and reading about gay shits and befriend depressing people and got this myself. I’m afraid I’m making this up to be relevant. 

Please help me with this, or just reblog to help me find an answer. I’m so sorry I’m wasting your time. But please, I need to find myself. I don't want to feel suicidal again.

#please help #please #really I need help #mental health #mental health support #depression #anxiety #abuse #attention seeker is that me??? #self hatred #what am I doing with life #existential crisis #at its finest

[shoushatohaisha]

report: haikyuu!! summer week day 5 part 1 (shinka no natsu)

previously: day 1 (shoen) day 2 (itadaki no keshiki) day 3 (karasuno, fukkatsu!!) day 4 (shousha to haisha)

guests: kagechan, fucchi, shouri, takumi

(...the haikyuu day event sure did wipe everything else from my brain, wow. but. i'll do my best...!)

so when the cast first ran out, shouri wasn't there – he just hung back without telling anyone because kagechan kept looking back at the wings and cracking up and takumi looked like he wanted to die. this was, of course, so that after kagechan welcomed the audience to haikyuu summer week, shouri could stroll out dramatically and say "HEY, YOUR SENPAI IS HERE. your senpai in this event. and in haikyuu. your senpai." ok shouri.

kagechan was nominally the MC and he did an impressive job fighting the black hole of attention that is kondou-kun for control. XD but... shouri: who's the MC anyway kagechan: it's me?? it's obviously me? fucchi: i mean, we don't know yet. shouri: i was the MC for karasuno fukkatsu so i'll kindly let one of you first-timers do it – takumi, you want to MC right? takumi: ……...yeah………sure…….... shouri: he does. i can see it in his face.

then they did janken and fucchi won so he briefly took over, just long enough to skip to the end of the script – "how did you all enjoy the screening today??" kagechan: this is as far as we rehearsed.

during cheer practice we did shouri's dumb high school cheer again. for him. not kuroo. XD

when we practiced the "volleyball, haikyuu" bit they briefly mentioned how strong the impact of adding "ue wo miageru" was – i think it was shouri maybe? who said that when first reading the script it jumped right out at him and made him like, reflexively want to look at the ceiling. ...and that the returning cast kept messing up in rehearsal, for a while there would always be several people who forgot to say "ue wo miageru" and went straight to "kyuugi de aru", lol.

and shouri ALMOST got us to do his "nyan nyanya nyan nyan nyan" cheer for nekoma, he got all the way through explaining it to everyone else, and telling us that he'd gotten whistled off for it the other day, and asking the ref for permission, and through one round of tobe tobe karasuno / hey hey fukuro / ike ike nekoma nya nya-- ...and got whistled off. XD

meanwhile, takumi kept sliding off toward the edge of the stage and shouri would be like "GET BACK HERE" and pull him into the middle. and then get distracted harassing someone and takumi would slide away again. much like with naoki, he got pulled into doing a lot more choreo than he would have otherwise simply by virtue of being in proximity to shouri, lol. (i heard the girls behind me at hajimari no kyojin that night laughing about "poor higashi-kun", haha.) only whereas naoki played the straight man aloud, takumi just silently, like, grinned and bore it.

having said that, during the screening shouri was obviously Peak Shouri, but hilariously enough he TIRED HIMSELF OUT by running around so much so i actually don't think it was as over the top as karasuno fukkatsu.

specifically, it was the scenes at coach ukai's that killed him, he and takumi came out as the elementary school kids bouncing around and acting super dumb and then shouri started running around doing every one of the tempos and eventually he had to like, wipe his face and lean over and brace himself he was breathing so hard. shouri u noodle.

takumi also made shouri act out bokuto's part so he could be konoha. it was cute, the way they were careful to respect that it was kouki on screen but that takumi took over the role later without making it seem awkward or unnatural. like during the bit where bokuto yells "the moment you think you can hit a strong spike, that's your chance" -- "kyouretsu na ippatsu ga uteru to omotta shunkan ga...kouki!" -- shouri jumped up and yelled "KOUKI!!!!" along with him and jabbed his finger excitedly at the screen. he brought it up in the aftertalk too. "HAHA IT WAS SO FUNNY TO SEE KOUKI YELLING HIS OWN NAME. :D"

ok back to the beginning tho. unsurprisingly, they had a lot of fun with the hamlet scene – kagechan's timing for running out, lifting his hand slowly, and reciting "SOSHITE, YOKUASA" was BEAT perfect, it got a massive laugh from the audience.

for the opening, they all did their own parts of course – fucchi running out to yell "KIYOKO-SAN" was a joy to behold – but shouri also did sarukui, hips and all, which was sure Something.

when takechan came out to explain the "school rules", shouri literally just galloped across the stage and disappeared into the wings opposite, it was like he couldn't bear to be off stage. XD at first fucchi was as bouncy as shouri, doing all the choreo and super star rolling thunder etc, but eventually he calmed down and sat there watching the screening super seriously, sometimes he was the only one out there.

meanwhile, the ladies made their first appearance! let me tell you, you have never seen such a group of fangirls over saeko/kiyoko-san, i thought everyone in the audience was gonna literally swoon at saeko's first appearnce. self included, obvs. (ofc everyone loved yacchan but that was more of a "you're adorable" and less of a "please wreck me" vibe.) it was also extremely satisfying to yell "akaaaAAAAshi" in one's best bokuto voice along with one thousand other people. and during the exam prep, "norio" also got his own round of character cheers. XD

when yachi yells "murabito b mo tatakaemasu!!" shouri ran out with a cardboard sign that read "MURABITO B", held it up proudly to cheers, then spent several minutes trying to get it to stay upright on one of the chairs. ("nice fight!" someone in the audience called.) murabito b remained on stage in support for the rest of the screening.

for "kageyama's not breathing!" kagechan flopped dramatically to the stage…. and then takumi ran out to do cpr! only it was such like, soft, gentle cpr that kagechan sat up and burst into laughter. in the car with saeko-neesan, kagechan pretended to fall asleep, and then acted out waking up, putting in eyedrops, etc. "ohayou," fucchi told him solemnly.

kagechan and fucchi did a great job with the synchro attack and then with all of karasuno's ending match/group number choreo. hilariously, all four of them started to do the final choreo that includes a bit of each school's signature moves and shouri forgot to do nekoma's. XD "it wasn't that long ago, idk why it's so hard to remember!" he said later, and having witnessed him reenact practically the entirety of karasuno fukkatsu i too wondered the same thing.

oh oh! when karasuno are doing the wheelbarrel walks, kagechan "wheeled" fucchi out all the way across the stage – then when they reached the wings, fucchi held himself up with one arm for several seconds while gesturing at kagechan and without taking a break they reversed course and "walked" back across the stage. from which i conclude that kid has amazing arm strength!

AND THEN.

during the last practice match against fukurodani, as kageyama debates whether to try out the new quick with hinata...

...suga kenta ran on stage, said "yannai no?" and ran off.

IT'S NOT LIKE WE DIDN'T ALL KNOW HE WAS THERE but oh my god the screeching, holy shit. again, self very much included. knowing how much kenta loves that line, i should have known that would be too much for him to resist. and yet. dies. it was incredible.

hilariously, the cast, who were pointing and laughing in shock just like everyone else, didn't acknowledge this surprise until the very end of the aftertalk. "ah yes, someone who… resembled… that orange-haired person on stage… appeared earlier, huh. briefly."

speaking of the aftertalk!

takumi talked about how this play was his stage debut: shouri: he cried ALL THE TIME. he cried at our first cast meeting. he cried on opening night... our takumi's grown so much! :') takumi: ……..….thanks. takumi: i was too nervous to enjoy anything until the play opened tbh. shouri: dude you're nervous right now. takumi: ……..yeah.

apparently during rehearsal takumi was repeatedly told to speak up more during fukurodani's group scenes – no one could hear him contribute to "hey hey hey" etc. but once the show actually opened and they could hear the audience reactions to fukurodani and everything he got less nervous and it became a lot more fun.

shouri: yeah, you had sarukui and everything, lol… i heard the audience calling "kawaii!!" when he appeared earlier and honestly if that's what you call cute... audience: KAWAII kagechan: seriously, i need a dictionary for this.

then shouri pointed out that although in the source material the characters don't use first names that much, in the last barbecue scene ken-chan alone would come on super strong and go around addressing all the characters by their first name. "OI, TETSUROU. TETSUROU. HAVE SOME MORE MEAT." so even though they weren't miked he was so loud that during these serious conversations you can hear him in the background going "TETSUROU. TETSUROU."

OH fucchi told us that "super star rolling thunder" was originallly "stardust rolling thunder"… because fucchi's agency is stardust promotions. XD fucchi: and in that scene i'm with ino hiroki-kun and nagao shizune-chan fucchi: and, you know, they sparkle fucchi: like stardust

apparently he got the go-ahead from worry-san, but not from the higher ups, precisely because of stardust promotions. XD shouri: then why don't you do it now? stardust rolling thunder. fucchi: i, wai-- fucchi: fucchi: fucchi: :| shouri: ^___^ fucchi: i knew it.

from which i conclude fucchi had tried to get out of doing it during their MC planning or something. XD

fucchi: you have to be the sparkles shouri: but i'm watanabe fucchi: -_- shouri: get takumi too fucchi: takumi, what's your agency? takumi: beaco-- fucchi: it's fine, it's fine, over there please

final messages: takumi's was very polite and respectful as he thanked the audience, it was cute. shouri said that watching shinka no natsu made him fondly remember all the work the different schools did to grow as a team and learn to communicate with each other during that summer – it was their irl summer of evolution. fucchi pointed out that he and kagechan will reach their hundredth haikyuu show during the saikyou no team! and kagechan said that he was here sitting in audience -- "right around there" – watching for the shoen dress rehearsal so it was really special to be here in aiia as a proper part of engeki haikyuu. :)

hajimari no kyojin next, then some off-camera stories from event night! THE GOAL LINE IS IN SIGHT. thanks so much for the nice comments, i really appreciate them, and i've been enjoying reading your capslocky tags. :D

#engeki haikyuu #hyper projection engeki haikyuu!! #kondou shouri #kageyama tatsuya #fuchino yuuto #higashi takumi #haikyuu summer week #event report #wow this just became the shouri report part two #who's surprised #literally no one

[riskeith]

hi bb!

oh rip... the ol’ laptop fan situation. it must sound like a plane when you play genshin right? yes, we’re more prepared now. i remember the first few years there were so many fires and stuff to the point where they even made bbq illegal. such a mess, but it took away a fire hazard which is good. i believe aus had the same situation right?

awwww sounds so cute! pokémon go? no i don’t! i dropped it after that summer sjsksjdk. do you play while you’re walking that’s so adorable. wait bakudeku zine??? you’ve peeked my interest.

ooh that makes sense! i thought about the gold seelie too actually! the babie might bring you mora which is always good to have. also there’s fanart of the gold seelie being aether and those are sooo cute. have you seen any?

help i hope xiao knows how lucky he is to have such a devoted fan as yourself!! you’re really pulling all the strings for him i applaud your patience and determination. dude albedo is like... easily one of the prettiest animated character i’ve seen! he’s gorgeous! also i like his elevator move that could be so handy. and for the dancing videos, just search on yt baron bunny dancin or something hehe.

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK? wait are you serious? venti’s jpn va is HINATA? I HAD NO IDEA WTF???? god..,. that’s it i’m switching to jpn dub that’s insane... i was actually gonna ask you once if you could apply haikyuu characters to the game who would they be and the only one i was sure about was that hinata would be venti.... 😭 you’re so talented for knowing that hehe.. also you can say that you’re studying when you’re gaming then lmao. study smart not hard. god i’m still in shock over venti. this made my morning ngl.

i have no idea how fic collabs work either. i had a friend that did it once and she said they each wrote a chapter but i feel like that might be confusing if the writers use different writing styles..? idk it seems fun but kind of scary too..

ilytttttt little blushing girl.. <3

it always goes back to dragonspine does it not... 😶 but damn it’s been about a month and you’ve saved 12k that’s super solid. since xiao will be coming around feb that means you’ll have another month-ish to save up as well... so girl you’re def getting him sjdksjdk.. <3 and so much other goodies as well. unless you don’t pull him on the first try you might get some other great characters and weapons/artifacts as well. you need to force me to start saving up too bc if venti is really coming back.. i /have/ to get him esp now that i know about the va..

they’re adorable! i don’t know much about their story but i think they’re best friends, right? which makes it even more adorable. and there’s so much fanart of them as well. dude speaking of, genshin stans make the BEST fanart. i spend hours just looking at them and it’s perfect. i imagine there’s so much on twitter too, right?

god. remember shiro and adam. dreamworks would def not do that.. lmao...

your bravery for even considering posting wip. i’m taking my hat off for you. also, one writer to another; how does your writing process usually go? i’m always interested in seeing how other fic writers work bc it varies so much.

oh!! i was all over the place but i really liked sm groups. and loona! you don’t like slow songs? like even slow indie? aksjjdhdkdhf im gonna keep asking to find a middle group bc right now i’m super lost help...

i don’t really like sleeping in so it’s fine HEHE it’s 9 am now and i woke up about an hour ago which was perfect. 10 hour sleep? immaculate. not yikes. sleeping is always good never stress about it shjdhdjd, think about when you go back to school and have to pull all nighters etc.

kiss <3

heya!!

yeah HAHAAH it gets so hot omg.. and my laptop is supposed to have pretty good specs so i can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if i tried to play on my old one yikes 😬 oh shoot! yeah we have a fire danger rating too, the second lowest one is “high” and it goes beyond “extreme” to “code red”/“catastrophic” lollll. and we’ve regularly got fire bans in the summer to try and prevent anything! 

hfsdkjfhs summer 2016? god i remember that time so clearly... iconic 😩 i do play sometimes! normally if there are any mystic gyms around me to join, otherwise i’m kinda lazy about actually catching the pokemon HAHA oops. https://twitter.com/kotatsutomikan1 here!! does that mean 👀 you main bkdk 👀👀👀

oooo i thought the seelies were actually just there for decoration? AHAH. yessss I saw one with a whole lineup! https://twitter.com/icedkappe/status/1347555831831699457 look how cute 🥺 ugh but that reminds me of something i was thinking of earlier today, i hope they’ll introduce skins or something later down the line? fshdk like think of the potential. it always upsets me when i click the hanger icon and it only lets me change their glider fhsjfskfjsdjkf

god when i saw albedo’s hair... <3333333 and also his eyes??? um chief alchemist? more like PRETTIEST alchemist. yesss i’ve been doing plunge attacks a lot more recently (preparing for xiao?) and honestly ugh if i had albedo.. I LOOKED THOSE VIDEOS UP!!! THEY ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WHAT EHE FSUCJK!!!!!!  my god. fancam for characters who? ? from now on only fancams of baron bunny are allowed 😤😤😤

AHAHAH YEAH HE IS!!!! wait have you finished the world quest with him tho?? either way i’m sure you’ll be able to find clips of it in japanese dub online... his ‘ehe’ is so cute my god.. study smart not hard my motto!!!! <3 

yeah I feel like chapters is confusing which is why separating by POV might work better? definitely scary tho lol .... such uncharted territory for me

IM DEF GETTING HIM!!! xiao i am patiently waiting for you to come home 👐🙇‍♀️ yes!! i really hope the four stars on his banner are good bc i’m def gonna be pulling it a lot AHAHHA i hope hm.... i wanna get xingqiu to match with chongyun but beido seems so cool too 😩 tho i already have so many claymore users fsdhfksdfhsjd. oh that also reminds me venti’s elemental burst dialogue ‘kaze da!’ is so cute... like his voice is so melodic??? omg.... WAIT lemme send you this interview i found https://youtu.be/g3floaU41Uc !! AND START SAVE UP MARRIAGE ANON!!!!! tho i think he’s like 5 banners away so you still have time if you do wanna pull now... fhdsfkjds

they are!!! chongyun has this line in his story profile “Who could he possibly trust, if not his fine friend Xingqiu?” 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭 how cute is he i love him so much :((((((((((((( yeah there are so many on twitter!! i don’t see much on tumblr tbh bc i don’t look at my dash too often AHHAHA but it’s all over my twitter timeline~ 

my writing process depends!! but typically i type out the outline of a fic/write out certain scenes, then fill in everything around that ahaha. usually my ideas come from a line i thought up that i really like or just a concept. i usually also type out my plans in all caps LOL. i hope that makes sense lmaooo how about you? do you just go for it or plan everything out first?

ooo yeah sm have some really nice stuff... and nice! i never gave loona a shot FJKDHFKSJ. i don’t think so?? the slow songs i do like are usually exceptions rather than the rule LMAO but i like hozier’s stuff even tho they’re slow (but who doesn’t? AHAH) honestly i couldn’t even give you examples bc i can’t think of any FHSDKFJS like i guess for example, lovely by billie eilish and khalid, i like the song but on a normal day if it came up on shuffle i’d skip it? FHSFKSD im so sorry legit i am no help at all fhskdfhsjdfjsdkfhsdhkfhk but what are some artists you listen to often?

i never pull all-nighters!! it’s kinda like my rule, even if i’m absolutely fucked i’ll deal with it later rather than not sleep fhskjfsdf. (or maybe i just haven’t reached that stage yet... i hope not!). also wait a second i just registered what you wrote.. YOU WOKE UP AT 8AM????????? my goodness... legit i don’t think i did that a single time in 2020. there was a week i woke up at 8:30 every day but very quickly i started sleeping in again omg... that energy! i’m also gonna try start waking up early but it’s hard when i go to bed then read fic 😩

kisses!!! hope your day has been swell so far xoxo

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post