#recover it will be...in line with my parents which is to say i will be confident because i have them and not in spite of them and

[aysegust]

JUST A HEALER. - K.B

Pairings: (Kaz Brekker x Reader) A/N: Hey Everyone! I hope you all are fine and feel good. May goodness be with you… So this is a new fiction of mine. About Kaz Brekker… Well, I was so stressed about my studies so I wanted to write something to keep my mind occupied. English isn’t my native language, as reminding it again, I might have mistakes. If you saw it feel free to correct it with kindness of course! I hope you’ll like it. There will be a part two. Warnings: Kidnapping, Pekka Rollins, mention of Kirigan. It is mostly based on the first season of the series but I changed things. Word Count: 1.997

You can read the last part here: More Than A Healer. - K.B

A soldier, a healer.

That was all you were to him. A soldier, a healer. Well, the story of you and his crossed in a different path. You escaped from the Little Palace and took a ticket from an unknown ship, with that you went overseas.

As the ship sailed to the shore of Ketterdam, the city where every young-blooded Ravkan wanted to see, you were finally there. Freshly dressed and eager to see a new world. Other than forced to work under king’s command. Well, the missing state you were in probably put a traitor stamp on your name but you didn’t care.

Your parents died, because of Ravka. Because of their policies about taking Grisha’s away from their parents. Your parents die because they never wanted you to be taken from them. They died, because you were a Grisha… You blamed yourself for it from such a long time. But in reality, the blame wasn’t on you, it was on them.

A week passed since you were in Ketterdam, hiding your powers and blending into public. Well, it was safe to say that you were expecting difficulties. You had nothing so it would obviously difficult.

However as the weeks passed, you were able to find a shelter to stay, foods to feed yourself and a job. Well, you were taking care of wounded people, they thought you were talented. Not a Grisha. They thought this woman, you, are just talented and hardworking about what you do. But inside of every touch of yours, you were slowly recovering them faster.

Of course, you bandaged them, cut them, stitch them, clean their wounds but without the people of Ketterdam’s knowledge, as every slight touch of your fingers did the magic.

However, as you were so good at what you do, people talked. Pekka Rollins, offered you a job which you declined smoothly a time. He was pissed but you told him you work openly. But you treated his wounds so that’s why you were still alive.

Even Pekka Rollins didn’t realize you were a Grisha but a certain man, who likes to stay in silence and sees everything in a different gaze, such as reading between the lines, he noticed it.

That night you were going to your home, you heard a sound. It terrified you, so you touched your gun. Then you understood the sound of the cane, was on purpose.

The alley was empty. It was just the two of you, you thought. “It is not a daily thing you see a Grisha in Barrel.” As hearing his words, you turned to him slowly.

“Who are you?” You said to him coldly. He looked at you ruthlessly. As you were looking at his eyes, it was harsh, you felt goosebumps. “The right question is… why a Grisha is doing in the Barrel, Miss L/N?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “I don’t know who you are, but you surely are mad.” He smiled to that. But the smile didn’t match his eyes. “I wouldn’t say that.”

He stepped firmly into your way, you didn’t back away. You wouldn’t show any weakness to him. You were a soldier.

“There’s no need for fighting, I present you an offer.” You looked at him with curiosity after hearing his crooked voice. “I’m listening.” You said firmly.

“You can work for me, and I’ll keep your secret.” You looked at him bitterly. “I don’t work for anyone.” You looked at his eyes. “Believe me, Miss L/N, in the Barrel, a woman like you would be a great investment.” He stopped briefly. “I have been watching you, and it wasn’t hard for me to understand of your little powers.” He looked at you so smoothly.

“Bold of you to assume, that I’ll work under you.” You said it confidently. He looked at his gloves for a moment. “If they finds out you are a Grisha, you won’t last long.” You squinted your eyes. “Is that a threat?” You said.

“No, it is just a warning.” His glances wasn’t disturbing it was frightening. “I give you a day, you can find me in the Crow Club.” Then he disappeared into shadows without even waiting for you to say anything.

After that night, you thought many things. You didn’t know the man, so you pulled strings and searched his name. The Dirtyhands. Bastard of the Barrel. The owner of the Crow Club. Kaz Brekker.

Kaz Brekker.

The Dirtyhands.

He had people work under him. The Wraith, The Sharpshooter… The Dregs. The informations you learned about the infamous Kaz Brekker, led you to his Club.

As you stepped into the Club, it was lighting with warm but sharp colors. You heard every laughter on gambling tables. Some smiling like devilishly, some whine in losing.

You stepped surely to inside. As your gaze fell upon to the upstairs, your eyes met in a brief moment. From the moment you stepped inside to the Club, he knew you arrived.

He made a small gesture, the way his face turned slightly to side, it was a gesture for you to come closer.

You walked slowly into his way, as he lead you to his office. Your gaze wandered the room. The walls were covered in a thick layer, the furnitures are covered in black as the way he dressed. The room looked tidy but his desk was filled with full of papers which looked pure chaotic.

The light of the room was dim. It was weirdly calming but as his body turned to you, your gaze met his. He looked like a wall. No emotion, not even a slight expression.

As you looked at his face, two days ago, looking at him briefly on the streets was not enough for you to look deeply into his features.

Now that you see him, well, he looked beautiful. In a disturbing way, he was looking good. Except for the fact that, he knows your secret and he is threatening you. Also, adding the fact that he is the Dirtyhands. You heard rumors about him before.

“So, you heard about me.” As he broke the silence, you nodded. “The Dirtyhands.” You said with a straight impression. “I heard about you.”

He leaned back on the edge of the table. “Then you heard all the things they said about me.” He replied.

“Look, Mr. Brekker, I don’t work for people. I don’t want to make enemies.” He almost laughed at that. “No, Miss L/N, the clear thing you don’t understand is…” He paused briefly. “Eventually, when people find out who you are, you are not gonna survive a day in here.” He looked at you sharply. “I won’t expose you, but, imagine if Pekka Rollins finds out?”

As he said it, you turned your gaze into one of painting on the wall. “Okay..” It was reasonable. You turned your gaze back to his. “I’ll work for you but under one condition.” You said. “I want a good check.” He looked at you.

“Then we have an agreement.”

-

Yeah, after that day a year passed as you worked under the Dirtyhands. Well, he didn’t trust you a bit and you weren’t trusting him too but you just had to trust the promise he made.

You were clearly a good asset to him. You treated Inej and Jesper’s wounds. Other members of his crew too. Also you were a great soldier so when a mission arrives, after some time of him trusting you about coming to his thefts, you were quick, strong and loyal.

He even gave you a new identity. Helped you to have a new identity in Ketterdam. So, you wouldn’t suspected to be a Grisha, a Ravkan.

But Pekka Rollins wasn’t happy about the idea of you working under the Bastard of the Barrel, which caused you some headaches. However, Kaz was cautious about everything.

A soldier, a healer.

You were all that to him. Well, you got along with Inej and Jesper. They had unique characteristics. You could feel the joy around Jesper while feeling safe around Inej. She was quiet but she made you feel comfortable.

You can’t say much things about Kaz. He was complicated. Never trusting you much, always prepared for everything and too cautious, too careful. As you observed him through the months, you saw how he deprived himself from touching. You saw the sour face of his after someone in the crowd bumped him with no intention. They thought it was just Kaz hated people. But to you, the way he looked with every little touch the furrowing brows of his tells a different tale.

Which you were curious about it. However, you never had the intentions of learning it. So you slipped the thought away and got along with your life.

You were walking around the corners of the Barrel, you wanted to be alone, as you blended in with the others, the crowds noise was silencing your thoughts. Well, under Kaz’s command, it wasn’t very easy but you felt safe and powerful. The threats of Rollins wasn’t new, but it didn’t scare you that much. Since you were a traitor in Ravka. You flied away from there and left the Army.

Of course, over the time passed Kaz learned why you were in Ketterdam as you told him the story of your life. You thought he would judge you but he was no better man. So he just didn’t mind it.

You earned his respect with how much you cared for his crows. How you treated their wounds after a fight very gently and how you were loyal to him and his team. It didn’t slip from his gazes.

As you turned around the corner, you felt a pair of hands grabbing your mouth harshly. You panicked just for a second. Then you tried to fight back to the man who held you tightly. You took a knife out of your pocket and hit him on his belly, as he whined in pain, you freed yourself from his prying hands. As you turned to look at the man, you heard a strong accent.

“I can say, I was very disappointed to hear you began to work under- Mr. Brekker, aye?” As you heard his voice, you turned to the owner of the voice. Pekka Rollins.

“What do you want?” You said sternly. He approached to you. “It is such a clever move, I say,” He looked terrific. As meeting his gaze, Pekka’s gaze didn’t seem to move away from you. “Hiring a healer? A Grisha.” He smiled. “A traitor…” You look at him disgustingly.

“Well, I don’t know what you are talking about.” You said it dumbfounded. He looked at you with range. “What should I do to you, Dame Blanche, huh? Or should I say… Miss L/N?”

You looked at him with anger. “I don’t care what you’ll do. I won’t back away from a fight.” You said it confidently. He looked at you with smug smile. “Oh, I won’t do you harm, The Black General, I think he is going to do.” You looked at him disbelief. As two of his guy grabbed your shoulders, you fought to get away from their grip but you couldn’t succeed.

Pekka approached to you and squeezed your cheeks in a hurtful manner. “After what would done to you, you are gonna regret to work under that bastard, lass.”

The next minute, you felt pain on your back as slowly, your vision blurred and your eyes went black.

As couple of hours passed and you opened your eyes, the sharp pain on your head was making you feel uncomfortable. You tried to open your eyes but your eyelids were too heavy and you feared.

What if Kaz couldn’t find you?

What if Kaz wouldn’t find you?

What if he doesn’t care about your sudden disappearance?

What if he,

if he thinks you betrayed him too?

#kaz brekker #shadow and bone #reader insert #kaz brekker angst #kazzle dazzle #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker imagine #kaz rietveld #kaz brekker fanfic #shadow and bone series

[universecorp]

Heartbeat Pt.1

Summary: After starting a situationship with your best friend from high school, things start to become complicated. Especially when you start to catch feelings.

Jaehyun x Reader Minor Haechan x Reader (In pt2 and 3 only though)

w.c.: 9.9k

Genre: Comedy, smut, and angst

Warnings: Mentions of smut, smut, Oral (F receiving), fingering (f receiving) cursing, angst, unrequited love (or is it???)

PLAYLIST: ♡

Next part ->

Friday, that day meant a lot of things. To you it was usually the day you ended up tangled in Jaehyun’s black sheets. Your friends however, had different plans. Today they made you ditch your friend for a night out on the club, which is something you hate to admit that you needed. Even if you didn’t see it, your friends knew you needed a distraction from the man you allowed to occupy your weekends. So here you were, sitting in a booth at the club while you watched your friends on the dance floor. 

You usually would dance with them, but your mind was unfortunately in other places. What was he doing? Was he with another girl? Out with the guys or staying in? You couldn’t help but think about him, which completely defeated the whole reason you were here in the first place. You were gonna need a few drinks to really get your mind off of things, so you made your way to the bar. You walked around the dance floor to the dimly lit area that had a line of stools in front of the counter. You sat down, waving over one of the busy bartenders who was currently shaking a martini. “Can I get a coke and rum please?” 

“Make it two.” A familiar deep voice said behind you. Before you could turn around you looked to your right where Jaehyun was now sitting. He was facing towards the bartender, so you had a perfect view of his freshly shaved undercut and his black hair that was gelled back, revealing his forehead.

 “What are you doing here?” He licked his lips huffing out a small laugh at your shocked expression. 

“Came out with the guys, didn’t expect to find you here too though.” You deadpanned at that, you literally texted him that you were going out tonight. Well you didn’t say where so he was entitled to his own shock as well. 

“Guess I should’ve told you which club we were going to.” 

“Why did you not want to see me?” 

“Well it's not that… it’s just that my friends definitely won’t be happy if they see us together.” The bartender sat your drinks in front of you, to which you thanked him before taking a small sip.

 “I don’t really care what your friends think, but I get it.” Jaehyun shrugged, taking a sip from his own drink. 

This was all too familiar for Jaehyun to act like this. He said anything and everything to keep you as putty in his hands, but only when it was just you two. He wasn’t distant per say when in front of others, but he definitely wasn’t as flirty or affectionate with you. How you even ended up in this situation was beyond you honestly. You and Jaehyun have known each other since high school. You started out as strangers since your parents hired him to tutor you, but after discovering you went to the same high school, you began to hang out more. Jaehyun was a year above you, so that’s why your paths never crossed, but once they did you two became thick as thieves. Eventually his friends became your friends and vice versa. You remember how ecstatic you were when you got into the same college as him, and so was he. He helped you find all the good professors and took you to all the parties, and even still found time to tutor you like old times. Most weekends were spent at his apartment watching movies or recovering from frat parties. After a few drunken times that you fell into bed with him, it eventually became a part of your sober activities too. At first it was weird, if you weren’t drunk you would leave his apartment, feeling slightly ashamed of the fact that you were sleeping with your best friend. After a couple months of sleeping together you just decided it was easier than actually committing to something. Both of you got something out of it you wanted while not complicating your friendship. That is until you developed feelings for the man. You didn’t intend to and you weren’t proud of it, but you were also too scared to tell him and risk losing everything. 

“Are you drunk enough to dance with me yet, or are you still scared of your friends?” You glanced over at the black haired man who was now nursing his second drink. 

“Let me have one more and I'll get back to you.” You said before quickly finishing the rest of your glass and bothering the bartender for another. 

“Why do you wanna dance anyways, usually i’m the one who has to drag you out at the frats?” Jaehyun shrugged, turning towards you on his stool.

 “I can't dance with my favorite girl?” You hated the way your heart skipped at that. He had to know the effect he had on you, there’s no way he just acted like this towards you. You’d like to believe he did but you’ve seen him flirt with enough girls at parties to know that’s not true. Jaehyun was charming, even if he didn’t mean to be. His secret not so secret caring nature made sure of that. 

“You can dance with me, I’m just surprised you want to.” He rolled his eyes at you as if what you were saying were some outlandish remark. It usually takes three drinks and you dragging Jaehyun to the dance floor. He was only two in and asking you willingly, it was scary. Maybe he’s sick. 

“Why is your hand on my forehead?” 

“I’m trying to make sure you’re not running a fever. You’re being weird. Why do you want to dance?” You leaned forwards more to press your hands to his cheeks. 

“Y/N quit, i’m not sick. If you don’t want to dance, I'll just go find someone else who does.” You shook your head quickly which made Jaehyun smirk in response. 

“Cute. Now if you’re done being fickle, can we dance already?” Jaehyun had his hand stretched out to you which you hesitantly took. He left a few bills for the tab and tip before leading you into the crowded area of sweaty, intoxicated bodies. Jaehyun settled his hands on your hips before turning you around so that his chest was pressed to your back. A small gasp left your lips when he hooked his chin over your shoulder. 

“You smell good, is that a new perfume?” You felt a tinge of blush covering your cheeks at his observation. Of course he knew you changed your perfume, he notices everything even as insignificant as your nails. It makes you sick because it’s one of the things that made you fall for him. 

“Yeah, got it last week.”

 Jaehyun hummed lowly next to your ear, “I like it.” You licked your lips trying to distract yourself from how badly you wanted to turn around and kiss him. You wanted him to lead you out of this club and take you home, just to ruin you. You would let him be the one to ruin your friends' hard work, even though he was the last person your friends wanted you to leave with. Speaking of which, you couldn’t help but notice the way Minjeong’s lips tightened as you made eye contact with her. She and the rest of your friends were now occupying your once empty table along with Jaehyun’s friends, who were most likely too drunk to care what he was doing. 

As if he could tell you were thinking too hard, Jaehyun grabbed your chin to make you look at him. “Just relax, who cares what they think.” That was so rich coming from him. Usually he’s the one that doesn’t like acting like this in public, which is why this entire thing was weird. It was no secret you were fucking, all of your friends knew, but it was like an elephant in the room. None of you ever talked about it, even after moments like this it was something that was talked about in private, in the safety of your dorm and Jaehyun’s apartment. For Jaehyun to willingly be this open, knowing that his and your friends could see you right now was insane to you. At frats he usually just danced face to face with you, but this felt almost too intimate. You wished the dance floor would collapse beneath you and swallow the two of you whole. It felt good to feel like Jaehyun was yours, but you weren’t used to it being where all eyes were on you. You were used to his husky morning voice and the mumbled praises that spilled out while he was inside of you. To him being clingy while you basked in your post orgasm bliss or while you watched movies in his bed. You were used to everything being private and it felt so good but so wrong to be like this.

Jaehyun was holding eye contact with you, as if you were the only thing that mattered. Staring deep into you as if he was trying to pick your brain, trying to understand what had you so distracted. He knew you’d never actually tell him what was wrong though, so he did the only thing he could think to do, the only thing he knew would pull you away from your thoughts. He kissed you. With his soft lips on yours, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, the music, and Jaehyun’s lips were the only things moving in time around you. 

Are we datin'?

Jaehyun’s lips moved languidly against yours, his large hands squeezed your hips, causing a gasp to escape from you. You broke away for a moment to turn around, making the angle less awkward as you captured his lips in another kiss.

 Are we fuckin'?

“Jae, let's get out of here.” You mumbled against his lips, gasping as he squeezed your sides once more.

Are we best friends? Are we somethin'

“What about your friends?” The smirk in his voice was evident; both of you knew where this was going. 

In between that?

“They’ll understand…”

I wish we never fucked, and I mean that

With uncertainty laced in your features, Jaehyun grabbed your hand, pulling you away from the crowd, the lights, and the music. He pulled you away from all the things that were supposed to distract you from him that night. Taking you back to his apartment where he reminded you of truly why no matter how distracted you were, you would eventually turn your focus back to him.

—————————————————————————

In the morning you woke up to familiar black sheets and the manly scent that you knew all too well. Jaehyun’s arm was haphazardly thrown over your waist while his chest was pressed against your back. You could feel his level breathing on the nape of your neck, signaling he was still fast asleep. You always woke up earlier than Jaehyun, so this was usually how your mornings went. You reached for your phone, which Jaehyun must have plugged in for you,since you ended up falling asleep after having sex. The first thing that greets you is the several missed calls from Minjeong, making you cringe slightly. You knew she saw you and Jaehyun, part of you was hoping she was drunk when she made eye contact with you, but you knew better than that. You decided that an apology text was the best you could offer for now, you would talk to her tomorrow when you got back to the dorm. You scrolled through tiktok for a bit until you heard the man behind you stirring. A small groan came from him before he pulled your frame closer to his larger one, causing you to gasp a little. 

“Good morning.” Jaehyun’s morning voice never failed to send shivers down your spine.

”Morning,” you mumbled back, yawning a little. A small chuckle left Jaehyun’s lips which he pressed against your naked shoulder. Peppering small kisses up to your neck where he began sucking on the fresh bruises that he created last night. 

“Jae…” You sighed out, lifting your shoulders a bit to stop his assault.

 “What, you don’t like it?” 

You shook your head, “It’s not that, I’m just hungry.” 

“Me too, not for food though.”

You whined and pushed him away playfully, in an attempt to make an escape from him and the bed. He was quicker than you and managed to grab your wrist, pulling you back down to his side. “Jae let me go cook, maybe you do actually want food, you just don’t know it yet.” Jaehyun groaned, before releasing you from his grip. 

“This is a form of gaslighting you know?” You made an affirmative sound before going over to his dresser, opening the two bottom drawers to grab one of the several pairs of underwear you kept at his house and one of his large shirts. After throwing both on you made your way to his kitchen, to assess the damage of his fridge, and what kind of meal you could actually make from its little contents. To your surprise you found a full carton of eggs, some fruit and sausage. 

After a few minutes you were flippings sausage over in a pan, humming to the music coming from your phone speakers. Your hips were swaying as you moved to the other burner to prevent the eggs from sticking to the pan. “Can you just move in?” Jaehyun’s sudden entrance startled you, causing your wrist to collide with the pan which was cooking the sausage.

 “Ow ow ow!” You grabbed your wrist as you slid down next to the cabinets. Fresh tears pricked at your eyes as you tried to assess the damage on your wrist. Jaehyun quickly crossed the room while you seethed out profanities. Bending down to your level he gently grabbed your wrist to take a look at how bad the burn was.

 “Fuck, I’m sorry, come here.” You allowed the older man to lead you to the sink where he ran your wrist under cold water. Jaehyun rubbed soothing circles under the burn, whispering our apologies and praises as he helped tend to your injury. 

“You ok?” You nodded, holding the makeshift ice pack to your burn. Jaehyun took the liberty of finishing the sausage, another way of his to apologize for startling you.

 “Were you serious earlier?” Jaehyun looked at you like you had two heads.

 “Oh, about moving in? That was a joke dude. If I had an extra bedroom I’d probably ask, but we can’t share a room.” Humming in agreement was all you could do. Responding any way else would be a dead giveaway to how you really felt. 

As far as you knew, Jaehyun was under the impression that you were fine with your current arrangement. You weren’t, but if he knew that, things would definitely go to shit. So for now you could pretend you were his for the weekend, like you did every weekend and then go back to being friends. It was a vicious cycle and you knew it wouldn’t end unless: Jaehyun found out how you felt, one of you ended up in a serious relationship, or you both mutually agreed to end things. You hoped none of them would happen, unless it was a serious relationship with Jaehyun. Once again, he couldn’t know that.

After breakfast, Jaehyun basically refused to let you lift a finger. He shooed you away to his room while he cleaned so all you could do was sit and wait for him. You had just settled into his bed and were flipping through movies on netflix when you heard a familiar ringtone coming from the kitchen. Before you could get up Jaehyun was already crossing the threshold of his room, phone in hand. Thanking him silently you hit the green answer button where a very pissed Minjeong was staring back at you. “Hi, Minnie…” even her favorite nickname couldn’t get her, you were in trouble. 

“Don’t ‘Hi Minnie’ me! Is he in the room?” You shook your head.

 “You seriously couldn’t go one night without him?” No amount of pouting could save you from Minjeong’s wrath. “I mean come on, you’re never gonna get over him if you don’t put some distance between you and him.” You shushed Minjeong, because despite Jaehyun being in another room, his apartment walls had quite the echo. “Don’t shush me! We’re not done! I mean seriously all the guys in that club and you couldn’t find one to fuck other than him?!” 

“It’s better than me leaving with a possible serial killer!” You groaned out, growing tired of her lecturing.

“That’s true, but I highly doubt any of the men in that club were serial killers. There were guys lined up to dance with you and of course you folded when he reared his big ass head!” That was not an entirely false statement. You did deny a few advances from some of the guys at the club. “And another thing, don't think I didn’t notice the way you were acting on the dance floor, I saw all of i-! You ended the call. You could have this conversation in the privacy of your dorm tomorrow,  after she cooled off and you did a bit of reflection.

“She sounded pretty angry, sure you don’t regret leaving them last night?” Glaring at Jaehyun you threw the covers over your head and began sulking. You didn’t need him reminding you of your actions, you had already had enough for one day. Feeling the bed dip next to you, you shut your eyes tight when the light from outside began peeking into your hideaway. “She’ll get over it.” Jaehyun said shortly before joining you under the covers. You grumbled curling in on yourself. Minjeong would definitely not get over it any time soon. She was going to hold girl code over your head for at least a month or until you paid for her food, whichever came first honestly. 

“Stop being all pouty and watch a movie with me. I’ll send you the money for her food and it’ll all be fine.” God, you were such a bad friend that even Jaehyun knew the protocol when it came to her.

 “I know it’ll all be ok but I still feel like a bad friend.” Jaehyun huffed out a laugh as he snaked his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. 

“You’re not a bad friend, she probably would’ve left too, besides, Ten and Jimin were there, it’s not like you left her alone.” He did have a point. “Also I’m sure she would’ve rather you leave with me, where she knows you’ll be safe than with some stranger.” Nevermind the point was gone, because she definitely would’ve rather you left with a stranger.

“Agree to disagree.” 

“Why does she hate me so much? I heard her call my head big, is it really?” You giggled a little at that, his head was a little big. 

“She thinks what we’re doing is bad, and can only end in disaster. As much as I've assured her that we’re both happy with the agreement, she still doesn’t approve.” You knew Jaehyun accepted your semi-truthful answer when he let out a small hum, which made you want to sigh in relief. Most of the answer was true but the main reason was because you were getting hurt by him. He didn’t need to know that part though. 

“Wait?”

“Hmm?”

“You never answered my second question.”

“Your head is a little big Jae.”

—————————————————————————

It was time for your entrance of shame. Unfortunately your day with Jaehyun had gone by much faster than you wanted, and before you knew it he was fucking you into his matress before allowing you to fall asleep in his arms. It was hard to peel yourself away from his dark sheets this morning, especially since Jaehyun had you in what could only be described as a death grip. Even so you now stood in front of your dorm room, sighing heavily as you had a one sided staring contest with the door. 

“If you sigh any louder, the door just might actually open!” Busted. Turning the knob you stepped forward into your dorm, staring at a very peeved Minjeong and a less peeved Ten.

 “Hey, how y’all doing?” You elongated your greeting with a nervous smile, neither of them seemed amused. 

“Orange chicken, coke and fried rice. Order three servings of each.” Nodding you fished your phone out of your pocket and began placing the order. 

The three of you were now sitting on the floor, munching on takeout in awkward silence. “So… was the sex at least good?” You tried to suppress your laugh as Minjeong glared at the man sitting next to her. 

“This is a damn public shaming, not a damn kiss and tell bitch.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing loudly. 

“Well obviously the sex was good, I wouldn’t keep going back if it wasn’t.” Minjeong could only stare at you two in disbelief, especially at Ten. He was supposed to be her good cop, but he clearly misunderstood the assignment. Ten hummed, startling slightly as a loud knock interrupted your conversation. 

“Jesus christ, I swear to god if I open this door and big head is on the other side I’m gonna strangle him.”

You and Ten exchanged concerned glances as you watched Minjeong approach the door. Before she could turn the knob, the door swung open, causing your roommate to stumble backwards. A very panicked Yangyang greeted the three of you, before his eyes locked in on what he clearly came for. 

“Yangyang, are you fucking serious? I gave you my location so you know I’m safe, not to stalk me!” You laughed loudly at the way the man in the doorway deadpanned at his boyfriend. Ten rarely got mad, and he wasn’t mad now, but it was so funny to see him annoyed. 

“Yeah and I’m doing exactly that, glad you’re safe by the way.” Minjeong herself wasn’t immune to the exchange and you both found yourselves doubled over in laughter.

 “We literally live in this building, why would I not be safe?” The exasperation in Ten’s voice was becoming even more evident as Yangyang shrugged off the question.

“Well you weren’t in the room, I had to make sure someone didn’t kidnap you, so I came here to confirm you were actually safe.” Ten simply blinked at his boyfriend. 

“Are you horny?” Yangyang smiled nervously, his gums on full display as he averted his boyfriend's gaze. The man on the floor simply rolled his eyes before crossing the room, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand and leaving the dorm with a quick “see ya later, good luck.”

“Jesus, they might just be worse than you and big head. Speaking of, I’m not gonna lecture you. I know no amount of it will change anything, at this point you’re asking to get hurt anyways.” Ouch. That was mean, but she was right. You kept going back to him. Even though you knew he didn’t want you the way you wanted him, at least you got to pretend he did when you were alone with him. “At least he’s good to you when you’re alone, can’t stand the way he treats you in public though.” Minjeong grumbled, a cute pout decorating her features. 

“You and me both, but I already told you, he doesn’t want anything serious, so acting like anything other than my high school bestie would be kinda suspicious.” You reasoned, shoveling some fried rice into your mouth. 

“The only thing that’s suspicious is the way he acts as if he isn’t balls deep inside you every weekend.” God that sounded way harsher than it should’ve. “Literally everyone knows, just because he has his own room in his apartment doesn’t mean his roommates don’t hear you two. Also news flash his roommates are literally our friends, Doyoung and Johnny aren’t dumb.” You knew that, so did Jaehyun, but Jaehyun was stupid and as much as he pretended he didn’t care, you knew he did. If he didn’t you two wouldn’t be such a poorly kept secret. The nature of your relationship would definitely be confusing, but much less so than it is now. 

—————————————————————————

Spring break approached not too long after and you currently found yourself in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s car, with a sleeping Minjeong, Ten and Yangyang in the back. Jaehyun’s hand was resting on top of your thigh while the other gripped the wheel. The wind was blowing through your hair as the warm sun beat down through the sunroof. You loved moments like these, moments where things felt normal and where Jaehyun wasn’t afraid to be affectionate, but they rarely happened when your friends were around. 

Jaehyun was humming lowly to a song on the radio, while you had your eyes closed, head leaning back against the headrest. You didn’t miss the way Jaehyun’s thumb began tracing circles on your thigh, or the way his hand started moving up, edging close to where your skirt ended and your underwear began. “Jae,” you kept your tone firm, side eyeing him a little. “Ok, sorry.” He grumbled reluctantly, pulling his hand back to a safer distance on your thigh. 

“How far away are we?”

“Bout 20 minutes.” 

You made an affirmative sound before grabbing his phone to queue up a few songs. As you were searching you couldn’t help but notice the tinder notification that dropped down. You could feel an ugly sensation twisting at the bottom of your stomach, but tried your best to ignore it and just focus on the task at hand.

—————————————————————————

The 20 minutes went by just as quickly as they’d started and now you were getting settled. The current issue at hand was picking rooms for the singles and who would room with who. Well it wasn’t really an issue, but someone was being stubborn. 

“Dude, it makes more sense for you to room with Doyoung.” Johnny deadpanned at Jaehyun. 

“I mean when you think about it, I’ve known Y/N longer so does it really?” You could only stare in disbelief at your best friend. 

“Jae, listen to yourself right now, you’re seriously trying to make Minnie room with Doyoung?” Jaehyun huffed at you, as if to say you weren’t helping the situation. 

“It’s not like they’ll be sharing a bed, they just have to be in the same room.” You seriously couldn’t believe his reasoning right now, or why he was so adamant about you two sharing a room. Yes it was one of the rooms with a shared bed, but it’s as if he’s asking for your friends to read into the two of you more than they already were. 

“God this is pointless, I’ll share a room with Doyoung. Now can someone please start making dinner?” You tried to stop Minjeong but she simply shook her head before sending a quick glare over at Jaehyun. He didn’t even flinch as he picked up his and your suitcases before taking them to the bedroom. You followed Jaehyun to the bedroom, standing in the doorframe with your arms crossed. 

“Why do you want to share a room?” Jaehyun looked at you as if it was obvious, eliciting a scoff from you. “We cannot do that with everyone here, as much as you like to pretend they don’t know, they do.” He just looked away, like a child who had been caught doing something bad. “Let’s just try to have a good time.” You sighed, flopping down on the bed, removing your phone from your back pocket. Before you could turn the device on you felt a large weight on top of you, pushing all the air out of you. “Jae, get off!” 

“Nah I’m good.” You rolled your eyes, trying to roll over to see if you could get him off of you, but we're stuck. 

“Jae I can’t breathe,” He made a sound of indifference, dropping his head in the junction between your shoulder and neck. 

“You smell good.” Usually that kind of comment would make you blush, but the loss of air was too prominent for you to process his comment. 

“I’m not gonna smell good if I’m dead, get off!” A groan left the man’s lips before he rolled off of you, finally able to take a breath you sighed in content. The content didn’t last long though as you were soon being pulled onto Jaehyun’s lap. “Jae! If someone walks past we’re screwed, stop!” He simply rolled his eyes, before shushing you. 

“We’ll just pretend we’re wrestling or something, chill.” He had to be on crack, why was he so chill about you being on his lap in a house full of your closest friends? 

“Jeong Jaehyun, are you on something?” He only blinked up at you, as if you were the one being weird.

 “No I'm not. Why are you being so weird just chill out-“ The sound of the door closing cut off his sentence and also had you jumping off of him quickly. You looked around frantically praying that it wasn’t Johnny or Mark who had closed the door. When your phone chimed you were relieved to see a text from Minjeong,

Minnie💜: next time close the door, mark almost saw y’all 

“See it was a bad idea, Mark almost saw us!” The man next to you just deadpanned at you as if nothing was wrong. It made you want to scream, but instead of doing that you just got up from the bed and walked out of the room. 

“Have fun in there?” Minjeong commented as you sat down on the couch next to her. 

“No, because he’s being weird.” Minjeong rolled her eyes as if that was anything new. 

“He’s always weird, but whatever, I think I know what you mean. Come on, dinner's almost ready.” You nod, following your roommate to the kitchen. 

After dinner, you all decided to hit the beach for a bit, some of the guys ended up going into the water, while you and Minjeong stayed on land. “Did you ever figure out why dumbass wanted to room with you?” You groaned and hung your head, you knew she would ask this. 

“To have sex I guess, but I don’t want to do that while all of y'all are in the house.” That was the best rationalization you could come up with, and hopefully it would also work on Jae. 

“Meh, two out of five have already heard you having sex, what’s three more?” Minjeong shrugged, causing you to groan in shame. 

“Yeah,but I don’t like it when Johnny and Doyoung hear us either, it’s just unfortunately inevitable.” Minjeong tossed her head side to side, pursing her lips as she thought over your words.

 “Yeah, but whatever, we're here to have fun, and I’m sure you two won’t be the only ones fucking.” She motioned to Ten and Yangyang who were in the middle of a splashing battle. 

“They’re actually together though.”

“Yeah, but I doubt anyone will be able to tell the difference between you and Ten’s moans, so I say use it to your advantage.” 

“You’re offly calm about the situation, usually you would be telling me not to give in and shit. What's up with you?” You looked at her with a skeptical glare as she took a sip from her water bottle. 

“Oh, Jaehyun said he’ll buy me food all week if I refrain from being an asshole. So as far as I’m concerned, you can be with him as much as you want.” You scoffed at her response before directing your attention to the ocean where all the guys were throwing a foam football around. Jaehyun fumbled the foam toy, but after jumping he was able to catch it before crashing down into the ocean. He reammerged shaking his head violently as his toothy grin was on full display. You see his mouth move without really hearing what any of he’s saying, but all you could think about was how good he looked with his wet hair and low hanging trunks. Especially with the water droplets that were cascading down his body. You followed one droplet that slid from his pec, through his abs and finally meeting with the dark hair of his happy trail. You couldn’t help but blush thinking about what was under his trunks. Sighing deeply you threw a hand over your face trying to think about anything but how good he looked. You shouldn’t think about him like this, especially because he never seemed to have thoughts like this about you. If he did he would never admit it out loud, but you didn’t expect him to. 

—————————————————————————

“Don’t look now, I think Jaehyun wants you to join him.” It had been a bit of time and you were now sunbathing on your stomach.You hadn’t been looking at the ocean, but Minjeong’s comment made you direct your attention back towards the water. Jaehyun was indeed making his way over and he seemed to have a certain determined glint in his eyes. 

“Hey loser, come swim.” Well that definitely made you want to do anything but that. 

“Hey nerd, I’m good.” You scoffed in response before turning your head away from him and closing your eyes. You heard Jaehyun click his teeth before you felt a pair of hands on your sides. “Jae���” You warned, but it fell on deaf ears as he tightened his grip. Before you could protest further you were airborne. “Jaehyun, put me down!” 

Jaehyun ignored you and began stalking towards the water. You kicked and screamed the whole way, no doubt causing a scene, but it was the best effort you could manage. He was carrying you like a sack of potatoes so you had a perfect view of his ass and did the only thing you could think of at that moment. 

You slapped it.

Jaehyun stopped for a moment and you thought that would be enough to end his reign of terror. Apparently it had only just begun as a harsh slap landed on your bottom. You cried out in pain, slumping in embarrassment. Your friends were all looking at you and Jaehyun didn’t seem to care. You could hear the crashing waves growing closer and before you knew it your face was only inches away from the water. “Jae, I don’t wanna get my hair wet, put me down please!” You prayed he didn’t decide to just drop you out of spite, but he’s been very unpredictable lately so you didn’t know what his plan was. To your surprise he gently put you down in the water, hands lingering on your waist as he looked down at you. “Are you happy now?” Despite your unamused expression Jaehyun didn’t falter and nodded with a small smile on his lips. “Can I go back now?”

“No.” 

You groaned before plopping down in the water, not caring about anything anymore, even your hair. “Stop being a baby, get up.” Jaehyun was trying his best not to laugh at your childish behavior, but the way you were pouting and refusing to make eye contact with him made it hard.

“I hope a wave drowns me.” You mumbled under your breath, but Jaehyun somehow still heard and couldn’t help the small chuckle he let out. “So you hope I die? That was your plan all along, drag me out here so you could kill me.” 

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Am I?”

 Jaehyun looked at you like you were crazy before coming down to your level. “I think the baby needs a nap.” The way he was speaking to you made you want to punch him in the face.

“I do not, I would just rather be on dry land,

then have my butt in wet sand.” He was definitely gonna clock you because you’re the one who sat down but you hoped your argument would work.

“You literally sat down in the sand-“

“Shut up big head.”   

As if karma suddenly decided to punish everyone but your menace best friend a wave washed over you causing you to get soaked. Coughing up water you rubbed at your eyes to try and ease the pain the salt was causing. “Jae, it stings! Ow ow ow!” You couldn’t do anything to ease the burning but blink. All you could hear were waves and Jaehyun’s loud laughter while you were writing in agony below him. 

“Guess you shouldn’t have sat down huh?” You really wanted to punch him now. Yes he was right but you didn’t have to admit that.

“Can you please help me, I can’t see.” 

“Is my head big?” You were seriously going to punch him.

“I can’t see it, so no.”

“Good enough.” You assumed he shrugged before grabbing you like you weighed nothing once again.

—————————————————————————

Once back at the house you hopped in the shower almost immediately. You wanted to wash all the sand and grime off of you before you completely dried. The hot water felt good after such a long day. You were allowing the water to just run over you, taking your time and just relaxing. You were so zoned out you didn’t even notice that the shower door opened, nor did you notice Jaehyun who was standing behind you. 

“It’s fucking hot in here.” Jaehyun’s deep voice caused you to jump, almost slipping on the wet tile beneath you. 

“Jaehyun, fuck! Why are you here?” 

“I’m showering duh.” He blinked at you, as if you were asking a dumb question. 

“You couldn’t have waited ten minutes, I was almost done.” Jaehyun was a lot of things but impatient wasn’t usually one of them. He’s been acting weird since last weekend and you didn’t get why. Jaehyun was weird, but this was just plain concerning. Was he dying, did he do something that he didn’t want you to know about? All of it was so baffling, especially the fact that he was currently getting on his knees. “What are you..?” You trailed your gaze down to him. He was looking at you with an unreadable expression, one that you’re not sure you liked. Before you could protest or even attempt to make your way out of the shower, Jaehyun was grabbing you firmly by the ass and pulling you forward. “Jae, what the hell has gotten into you?” You struggled to work against his strength and unfortunately you also risked falling if you didn’t give into whatever he wanted. 

“No one’s here, chill” He said that so easily and for all you knew everyone was back or on their way. “Stop worrying, I can hear your thoughts form here.” Curse him and his stupid intuition. Fighting was useless at this point, so you knew the only thing you could do was attempt to relax and give in to whatever he was planning. Suddenly it was very hard to relax when Jaehyun was throwing your leg over his shoulder, bringing his face close to your core. “You’re gonna have to be quiet, just in case they come back” He said, glancing at you.

“What if they come looking for us?” All the anxieties Jaehyun usually worried about were controlling you. You didn’t know if you were doing it for his or your sake at this point since he was so calm about the situation. 

“I locked the door.” He said simply, slotting his frame closer to yours. 

“They’re gonna know.”

“Let them.” 

You couldn’t interject any further, Jaehyun’s mouth was on your core, causing a choked out moan to leave you. Jaehyun rarely ate you out, but when he did, he made sure it was something you would remember. You’ve had to beg him a few times to do it, which haven’t been your proudest moments, but you definitely didn’t regret them. Even now with the fear of your friends coming back and catching the two of you. Jaehyun fucked his tongue into you before pulling away to latch onto your clit. You were trying your best to keep quiet, but one glare from Jaehyun told you that he wanted you to be loud. 

The sounds of Your moans and Jaehyun obscene slurping reverberated off the bathroom walls. All of it only causes you to grow closer to you high and Jaehyun’s occasional deep groans weren’t helping the situation. He was alternating between tongue fucking your cunt and sucking on your clit and now he was using two fingers along with his tongue to stretch you. “Jae, too much, I’m gonna cum.” Your words were a bit slurred which embarrassed you since it didn’t take long for you to become so fucked out. Your pleas only made him go harder, adding a third finger into your sopping heat while moving his mouth back to your clit to suck roughly. Your hands found purchase in his wet hair, pushing him closer into you as you began grinding against his mouth. 

“Taste so good…” He muffled against your cunt. “All for me isn’t it?” You were silent, save for the occasional whimper you would let out. “I asked you a question.” Jaehyun squeezed your ass roughly, looking up at you through hooded lids. The scene beneath you was so filthy especially since he was still pleasuring you as he awaited your answer. You nodded, letting out a shaky breath when he mumbled, “good girl,” while still lapping at your folds.

A staccato of moans left you as you approached your high. You were gripping Jaehyun’s hair with all your might as you struggled to not collapse on top of him. “Jae… close…” You could barely get the words out as he suckled on your clit, pushing two fingers in your cunt to make up for the loss of his tongue. 

It only took a few more pumps of his fingers before you were cumming. You nearly fell over from how fucked out you were, but Jaehyun managed to help you keep your balance. “You ok?” He asked from beneath you, you could only nod breathlessly, leaning back onto the shower wall as you tried to chase away the gaze of your orgasm. He stood up, towering over you with a shit eating grin, and as much as you wanted to roll your eyes you refrained. Even though you wanted to be annoyed at Jaehyun, you couldn’t since he had given you one of the best orgasms you had ever had. “Let me wash you.” Humming in agreement you handed him the shampoo bottle. He popped the cap open and proceeded to give what could only be described as the best scalp massage in history. You could feel yourself falling asleep underneath the hot stream of water, but Jaehyun was able to keep you awake with his soothing words and praises. Once he washed the suds from your hair he ran conditioner throughout before moving on to washing your body. He took extra care to be gentle on the areas he knew were most sensitive.

Once Jaehyun finished helping you, you did your best to return the favor. Much like you had he was also fighting sleep, and it was cute watching him try his best to keep his eyes open. It was also ironic that he was sleepy, considering you were the one who just came all over his face, but you figured the sun probably had gotten to him. It was especially evident when you were washing his chest, looking up and seeing the small red band of skin across his nose and cheeks. “Aww you got sunburned, did you put aloe on?” 

“No, not yet.” Jaehyun yawned, looking down at you with drowsy eyes.

“At least put it on before you sleep.” You tsked, washing the conditioner out of his hair. Turning off the shower you handed him a towel after stepping out of the small space. Both of you

 dried off and you immediately pulled him over to the toilet to sit down. After grabbing the aloe from your suitcase you popped the cap open and stood in front of the man. Jaehyun winced at the cooling sensation once you began the application , turning away from your touch like a child. You giggled a little, cupping his jaw to keep his head in place. 

“You’re enjoying this a little too much.” His toothy grin taunted you, forcing you to look away from him. 

“You always joked that you wanted me to be your personal nurse.” You teased, booping his nose for that extra annoying effect.

“Yeah once you graduate, not in your first year of nursing school.” 

“You can soothe your own burns then.” Wiping the remaining aloe onto his cheek you began walking off, but in an instant he was gripping your wrist, and pulling you down into his lap.

“I didn’t say stop.” He grumbled, causing you to smirk down at him. You resumed your previous actions, spreading the remaining glob of aloe on his cheek, massaging it into his skin, making sure that the gel was applied evenly. “Thank you.” He said, placing a quick kiss on your cheek. 

“No problem Jae…” To avoid him catching your blush you quickly stood up, to go grab your nightly routine items from your bag.

The two of you finished getting ready for bed together, Jaehyun refused to stop back hugging you the entire time. You complained like you hated it, but secretly you were squealing like a schoolgirl in your head. Finally you two settled into bed, cuddling together as you whispered to each other in the silence of the house. Fatigue was driving most of your conversations so they made no sense, but the sleepy chuckles that Jaehyun was letting out sounded like music to your ears. It was a sound you wanted to fall asleep to and wake up to, nothing could beat the feelings that he gave you, even if they were fleeting.

✨ 

It was the last  day of vacation, you and the gang decided to hit up the boardwalk, initially you had all gone as a group. However due to some people not wanting to go on rides you all decided to split into small groups and of course you and Jaehyun happened to be alone. 

Jaehyun had basically been dragging you around all night, but you didn’t mind. You had rode almost all the rides, save for the ferris wheel because the line was long and now you were walking while sharing some cotton candy. The silence between you was comfortable as you walked side by side. You brought up a piece of the sugary snack to his lip’s which he took, while playfully nipping at your fingertips. “Quit it, weirdo, my fingers are all sticky because of you.” You complained, inspecting the pink sugar sticking to your fingertips and nails. 

“If you let me lick it off, it won’t be sticky anymore.” He grinned, gripping your hand in an attempt to force it into his mouth. 

“Jae stop, people are staring!” 

“Eh let them, they probably just think we’re a weird ass couple.” 

“You’re the weird one not me.” You rolled your eyes, popping another piece of cotton candy in your mouth. 

“Yeah sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” You were about to fight back but Jaehyun pulled you in the direction of a game before you could say anything. The both of you were standing in front of a dart stand and before you knew it Jaehyun was taking out a few bills and paying the game master. You watched silently as Jaehyun popped the balloons one by one, fully focused on his task. You hadn’t even realized he ran out of darts until he was taking another bill out for another round. You were so confused because you thought for sure he was going for the stupid looking snake plush that had a sharp red tongue pointed towards you. Then you looked up a tier and saw a large bear and it hit you. It definitely hit you when before you knew it the bear was being shoved into your grasp.

“A lucky prize for the lucky lady, he’s a keeper.” The game attendant spoke fondly looking at you and Jaehyun. 

You didn’t miss the smug look Jaehyun had on his face as he looked down at you, but it melted into something you’d never seen before. 

“Thanks for the bear, you didn’t have to.” You and Jaehyun were now sitting at the top of the ferris wheel, overlooking the entire boardwalk. He was pressed to your side with an arm wrapped around your waist and his head resting on yours.

“No problem, I saw you looking at it when we first got here.” Of course he did. He notices everything. Sometimes you wished he didn’t. You wished he was like most men who had to have it spelled out for them. The same men that broke your heart countless times. He was different, charming, and made you feel things that you wish you didn’t. He was supposed to be your best friend for god's sake, and here you were head over heels for someone that would probably never reciprocate your feelings. “Stop thinking so hard.” Jesus, how does he always know? 

“I’m not.” 

“You are.”

You huffed and attempted to scoot away from him, but he just drew you back to his side. “Jae, why do you do this?” He looked down at you as if you had two heads, puffing out a small laugh. “I’m being serious, what game are you playing at, huh?” 

“I’m not sure what “game” you’re referring to.” He emphasized his words with finger quotations.

“Just the way you act. Sometimes you treat me like a friend, other times you treat me like a fuck buddy, but sometimes…” You didn’t want to continue in fear that he would catch on to you and your feelings. 

“Sometimes?” He pressed, one eyebrow slightly raised.

“Sometimes you treat me… like not just a friend.” You couldn’t say the words out loud, if you didn’t outwardly admit it then it didn’t exist, right?

“You mean like a girlfriend?” 

Fuck.

“Yeah… like that.” 

A deep sigh came from him and you hated it. It sounded wrong, not like his usual sighs, no,  this was a sigh of annoyance. “Look… I guess the way I act can make things confusing, but we both agreed on no feelings.” You didn’t say anything about feelings, why was he bringing up feelings? “I’m not saying you have feelings for me, but everything I do is strictly because of our arrangement. Don’t get it twisted ok?” Nodding you swallowed the lump in your throat as you avoided eye contact. He knows, there’s no way he doesn’t. This is it, your arrangement is over and you lost the one thing you never had to begin with. The small car in the ferris wheel is starting to feel suffocating and you wish you could just get to the bottom already, but you were only about halfway there.

You spent 5 more minutes trapped in suffocating silence before your car finally touched the ground again. You quickly exited, not even bothering to look back at Jaehyun. It was time to meet up with your friends anyway so you made a beeline for Minjeong when you spotted her, quickly taking her hand in yours. You were practically dragging her behind you and if the unshed tears in your eyes weren’t enough to tell her something was wrong your rushed behavior certainly was. 

“Hey, I need you to breathe, what’s wrong?” She was able to redirect you into an alley where who she assumed was the issue wouldn’t see you. 

“I think he knows.” The tears were breaking free now, clouding your vision as you spoke.

“Knows what, what does he know?” You were trying to give her an answer between your stuttered breaths but the words were just getting stuck in your throat. After a few moments though Minjeong put it all together. “Oh… love I’m so sorry.” She knew this wasn’t the time to be a smartass. As much as she didn’t like your arrangement, she would never invalidate you when you were this distraught. “Let’s go back to the house and we can go talk about it on the beach, I’ll see if I can get Doyoung to move into your room if you want?” 

“No, if I go to a different room it’ll only confirm his hunch. I just need to stick it out for this last night.” 

—————————————————————————

You and Minjeong returned to the house much later than everyone. You had sat out on the beach for a while just talking. A good chunk was about the elephant in the room, but you also changed the subject just to lighten the mood. By the end of it you felt less dreadful walking back into your room, even when you made eye contact with Jaehyun. He was laying in bed, shirtless, scrolling through his phone. You hoped he wouldn’t bring up the calls you missed from him and when you were able to walk into the bathroom after grabbing your pajamas, you figured you were off the hook. 

After a very long shower and diving into your more extensive skincare routine, you finally walked into the room. Jaehyun had finally fallen asleep to your surprise and relief so you felt less nervous having to slip in next to his sleeping frame. You tried to leave some space between the two of you, and initially it was fine, but only after a few minutes Jaehyun had his arm around your waist. You weren’t surprised when he pulled you into his chest, you should’ve known it was too good to be true that he would actually be asleep.

“After tonight… we should end this.” 

“Kay.”

—————————————————————————

The next morning was awkward. 

You and Jaehyun packed up your bags in silence and once you two left your room, it was very apparent that something was amiss.

You wanted to laugh when Mark mumbled “Looks like mom and dad are fighting,” to Johnny who just elbowed him in response. Could it even be called a fight? You two just woke up and decided not to speak to each other, but you didn’t think it was a fight.

Finally all your bags were packed up in the car and all of you were piling into the vehicles. Jaehyun still helped you with your bag, which annoyed you for some reason. You kept having to remind yourself that you two were still friends, it’s just that you weren’t fucking anymore.

The whole ride back you were texting with Minjeong. It felt like the two of you were on the beach again with what you were talking about. Every now and then Jaehyun would steal glances at you, but you didn’t flinch or react. He was probably worried since he was Mr. Heartbreaker, but somehow you were taking everything well. You knew you could still talk to him and hangout, but you would need a little bit of time to get over your feelings. 

After a few hours Winter, Ten, Yangyang, and yourself were being dropped off at the dorms. You all waved Jaehyun goodbye, but we’re confused when he didn’t immediately pull off, and when he was motioning for you to come over. Winter and the two men took that as their cue to give you some privacy, promising to meet you in the dorms afterwards.

“Something wrong?” You asked, standing a small distance away from his car.

“Are we cool, like we’re still friends right?” That was a dumb question, but you guess the silent treatment was probably confusing him. You were just doing what he was though, but I guess he wanted you to take the lead for once.

“Yeah we’re friends, we just won’t be doing… that anymore, but we’re friends.” Why was this starting to feel more awkward than the beach house?

“Cool… have a good day.” 

“Yeah, you too.”

Then he sped off.

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For saying someone shouldn't talk about their trauma in the work chat?

I do remote work for a company where we're required to keep up with everything posted in the work chat each day. When you first come in you need to backread so you are on the same page as everyone else.

We're allowed to talk about things that aren't work related but should keep the topics work appropriate.

A coworker recently had a family member die on a car accident. They told us this today, which isn't a problem. I understand reaching out and needing to share that with people.

What isn't okay is the fact they proceeded to describe how their relative died in horrific gory detail. Including vivid descriptions of the state the body was left in.

No warning was given and it was in the middle of a wall of text, so everyone has to read it to make sure he hadn't included any work information in what he sent.

One of my coworkers I'm friends with was personally in an accident where he lost a parent. He saw that parent die next to him while they waited for help. He spent months in the hospital afterwards recovering from his own injuries. Needless to say my friend wasn't okay after having to read through the work chat.

My friend had to leave work early because he had a PTSD episode. He's already financially struggling so strike two against the person who posted.

The guy at no point since he posted had a change of heart about over sharing. He didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with what he sent.

So. Here's where I may be the asshole.

I went off in the chat. I worded it as professionally as I could at first but I can tell reading back through it I got a little heated. I said that asking for support was fine but he crossed a line by posting graphic details. It's not work appropriate and is disturbing to people. And if anyone has been through something similar it could bring it up for them.

He hasn't responded, and thinking back on it I probably should have just brought it up with a manager. I'm worried I9ght have drawn attention to my friends situation since I went off right after he left. And it wouldn't be hard to put two and two together that I was mad about him getting triggered. Thus giving away that he has trauma he hasn't shared with everyone else. (Though worth mentioning is that he is fine talking about it and having people know. He just hasn't gotten around to telling other coworkers.)

It also could have made it less comfortable for the guy who posted in the first place to reach out for support in the future, because I was a little harsh. I don't know if he has anyone else supporting him and this could have been an inappropriate trauma response.

The reason I might not be the asshole is that he was not getting any hints that he shouldn't have posted that when people were addressing it indirectly or wording it nicely, so the only way to get through to him directly so he didn't keep doing it was to say something.

I do know I could have handled it better, but I'm not sure if I was a full on asshole about it. Id appreciate an outside perspective.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[destinysbounty]

Not sure if this counts, but how do you explain the ninjas ages? How are they teachers but also like 16? I always love hearing people's thoughts on this

For a while now I've been entertaining a headcanon that I think would perfectly explain this in a way that makes sense. Note that this is just a circumstantial theory with no explicit basis in canon, so feel free to take it or leave it as you see fit.

Okay, so. To understand the teacher situation (as well as my theories for why Ninjago's education system is fucked to hell and back), we first have to talk about the Serpentine War for a sec. Bare with me, I promise this will make sense.

This seems like a no-brainer, but a war requires people to actually, yknow, fight in it. Which means large demographics of people have to leave their homes, families, jobs, and communities. Naturally, this forces the ones they've left behind to compensate for the economic deficit caused by their absence. Anyone familiar with American history could tell you that this happened to the US during WWII - as swathes of men shipped off overseas to fight in the war, women back home had to take charge of the economy and participate more actively in the workforce.

I think it goes without saying that this kind of situation probably happened to Ninjago during the Serpentine War. But the thing is, we know women fought in the war stood at the front lines alongside the men - we've seen them. So if that's the case, then who stepped up to help run the economy while Mommy and Daddy were away?

I think you can guess where I'm going with this.

That's right. With so many people leaving to fight in the War (and also dying from Serpentine raids), I don't think it's unreasonable to conclude that some subset of kids and teens had to step up to the plate and take up some of the vacancies their parents had left behind. Obviously I'm not saying all the adults were gone, but it was enough to warrant kids entering the workforce prematurely.

And of course, if kids are getting jobs at younger ages, then I think it's valid to extrapolate that to teacher positions as well.

As you can imagine, this shift created a few new social precedents: 1) expectations for kids, especially teens, to get jobs and become mature at younger ages was normalized; and 2) requirements for certain careers, including education, became much more lenient.

This labor expectation imposed on older kids and teens would actually explain a lot more than just the s3 teacher situation, when you think about it.

Not only are unqualified teens allowed to become teachers, but also undead skeleton warriors from the Underworld (see s1ep4). I'm sorry, but you can't convince me that Kruncha and Nuckal are licensed educators.

The existence of Darkley's, and how it was able to exist for so long without any kind of administrative intervention. The education system is in shambles, and it's because Ninjago's infrastructure never fully recovered from the Serpentine War.

Disparities and gaps in people's historical/world knowledge. No one knows shit about anything. Because again, the education system in in shambles. (If you doubt the validity of this point, let me just remind you I'm from the US. I once met a college student who didn't know what 'north' was.)

The existence of the Paper Boys - how they can devote what seem to be entire workdays to an extremely dangerous job, with minimal adult oversight (if any).

The entirety of Ninjago society seems totally chill with the fact that their saviors are a bunch of kids. To them this isn't cause for concern or even distrust in the ninjas' capability, it's just the norm!

In s15, Lloyd was able to get a job, presumably without a high school diploma or GED of some kind. Or, yknow, any formal education past grade 3 (although we know from supplemental material that he did get some kind of tutoring from the ninja, so this point is debatable).

If some kind of in-universe CPS equivalent exists, then they certainly don't do anything. No one has ever reported or raised issue with Lloyd being homeless, Cole also being homeless for a while, the ninja not being in school, Kai and Nya being parent-free since the ages of ~6 and 3 respectively, and other such things that would ordinarily be cause for alarm.

While there is canon evidence that Kai and Nya received some degree of aid from their community, especially when they were younger, this seems to be completely absent by the time the series begins. Perhaps the community's assistance began to withdraw over time as the siblings faced increasing expectations to become self-sufficient despite still being children. Like, "you're 10 years old now, Kai, it's time for you to start pulling your weight and taking care of the shop by yourself. You need to grow up."

If we approach Ninjago's worldbuilding from this context, suddenly the teacher arc becomes less of a plothole and more...depressing, tbh.

And in a weird way, this interpretation actually fits in nicely with Ninjago's themes of generational trauma. Think about it. Society was damaged by the Serpentine War. And because they never really healed from what happened, the kids of future generations continue to face the normalization of their childhoods gradually being ripped away from them before they're ready. Kinda like kids in a broken home taking on adult responsibilities to cover the slack. Kinda like Cole handling house chores while his father grieved away from home. Kina like Kai and Nya running the shop while their parents were gone.

And everyone is just...used to it. The only times in all 15 seasons that anyone stakes a complaint about this system are in seasons 1-2 when Lloyd was a little child, in season 8 when Harumi was ridiculing the ninja, and in season 15 when Wu refused to lead the Paper Boys into battle.

(I do think it's worth noting that young children are still regarded as kids, of course, as seen with how the ninja were treated when they got de-aged. But this isn't really a refutation of my argument, as much as it is a clue to help us identify society's cutoff for childhood innocence.)

Again, it's more of a circumstantial theory than anything based in fact. So you're free to dispute it as you like. But you have to admit it would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

Anyway, that was...a lot longer than I was expecting it to be. Damn. I'm beginning to think that's gonna be a running theme with these theory posts.

Thanks for the ask! <3

#ninjago #long post #destiny post

[luneengene2]

&Team 04 Line : Accidentally Hurt/Injure (Verbally or Physically) You During an Argument

• Warnings : Angst content, rant, contains grammatical errors

- Yuma Part : Death of parents, mentioning suicide, insult, mention of mental health

- Jo Part : insecurity, comparison, appearance insult

- Let me know if I'm missing something

• A/N : I don't know why I wanted to make this version for 04 Line after making the version for hyung-line. BTW, if you are sensitive about this, please don't read this content, don't leave malicious comments if you don't like this content. Because this is just story content that has nothing to do with the real world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• YUMA

(rockstar!yuma x fem!reader)

The sudden death of your parents was a nightmare you never expected to come true. Losing a parent is the same as losing light, the world seems pitch black. And you don't even have the energy to move.

Your parents died in a train accident, at that time you were on campus to start your annual practical exam.

If your brother Jo is not by your side, you might really not be sane anymore, because you would immediately experience severe depression and even hurt yourself. Not only Jo, there is one person who is always trying to make you survive. Your beloved lover, Nakakita Yuma.

Yuma is a rock star, he is famous, many girls are in love with him. However, Yuma chose you. A simple girl who always made him laugh. After the death of your parents, Yuma was always by your side whenever you needed him.

You tried to commit suicide several times, but Yuma always succeeded in calming you down. However, Yuma is also still an ordinary human. Sometimes, he has a tired side because he keeps seeing you not being able to control yourself. When he was tired or even at work, Jo suddenly often called him, telling him that you had hurt yourself. And like it or not, Yuma still comes to see you. In fact, he was also very tired and stressed because of his work.

"Eat it, Y/N. You have to eat," Yuma said patiently, he handed you a spoonful of rice. But you didn't respond to his words. Your eyes just stare blankly ahead. Blank. It's like there's no life there.

"I'm already here, but you still don't want to eat? Y/N, don't go on like this," No response again. Yuma took a deep breath, he had to stay calm when you were in a condition like this.

"Y/N-"

"Didn't I tell you I don't want to eat yet, Yuma?" You cut Yuma off before he told you to eat again. "Your therapist told you to eat, and Jo wants you to eat too. I want you to get better," Yuma said softly.

You chuckled when Yuma said that. "Get Better? I'm not sure I can recover after my parents are gone forever," You said, then your gaze went blank again.

"You won't recover if you continue like this, your parents will be sad there if their daughter continues like this," — Yuma

"If they're sad, I'm sadder here, Yuma. They just left me like that," — You

"This fate is bittersweet, Y/N. But I beg you, fight your bitter fate and try to get up," — Yuma

"You keep saying that, Yuma. You don't understand how it is to be in my position, how tired I am when fate keeps beating me over and over again. I don't understand why people just keep saying that and telling me to get up and let it go. Doing that is not as easy as turning your palm. I always get those useless words, which still make me not enthusiastic about living," You said that because you were provoked by emotion, the sadness was getting sharper, and also because you were tired. You were 'less' conscious when you said that.

However, Yuma actually lost his patience, his facial expression immediately changed completely to become angry and unfriendly. He places your tablespoon roughly on the plate. Put the plate on your nightstand until it makes quite a loud sound.

"Then what kind of words do you want to be useful for you, Princess?" Yuma asked sarcastically, he clenched his wrist. "You think the world really has to pivot towards you? Do you want everyone to always be useful to you? So, you think everyone who supports you with words is useless? Not everyone is obliged to understand your position, because you don't necessarily understand other people's positions. Many people sacrifice their time to entertain you, including me! Right now my schedule is busy, I'm stressed. And when Jo called that you were hurting yourself, I was immediately stressed too. I'm tired too, Y/N. Tired of seeing you don't change and you even say things like that. So you've been saying I'm useless all this time?" Yuma asked annoyed, you realized your mistake, not daring to look at Yuma. You even crumpled the blanket that was on top of you.

"Just so you know, I sacrificed my time and career hours so I could accompany you. Imagine you are in my position, when you are tired from work, Your brother called me that you were doing something that was hurting yourself. I'm always stressed and worried when I hear the news, not to mention the sharp demands of my job. And you can easily say that my words are useless. Are you hungry for attention? Do you just want validation, pity? Many girls are in your position but not as dramatic as you. Next time, when Jo calls me again, I don't want to have anything to do with an insane girl like you again until you are completely healed," Yuma said harshly at the end of the sentence. He was tired, and his tiredness was already at a terrible stage. And if he is in that position, his emotions will overflow, and sometimes he will say harsh words beyond his control.

"I apologize on Y/N's behalf, Yuma," Hearing Jo's voice, Yuma immediately looked towards the door. He saw Jo standing in front of your bedroom door. He didn't realize Jo was already there, when you also looked emotional and angry earlier. Yuma could see the look in Jo's eyes, disappointed, angry and sad. In that instant, Yuma immediately realized what he had said to you.

Jo entered your room, walking towards Yuma, giving him a bitter smile. "I'm sorry if Y/N and I have been a bother to you after the death of our parents. Sorry if Y/N makes you worried and stressed, forgive her too because she always bothers you. Next time, I really won't bother you," Jo said softly. He was quite hurt because his sister was called insane by Yuma, but he didn't blame Yuma. Jo also immediately understood what Yuma's condition was like.

Yuma immediately shook his head in panic. "Jo, I didn't mean it like—"

"I understand your position, there's no need to be afraid or feel guilty," Jo cut slowly but sharply. Yuma became increasingly panicked seeing Jo's calm expression, but Yuma knew that behind Jo's calm expression, the man must be hiding sadness.

Yuma looked at you who were already flooded with tears, from squeezing your hands into the blanket it was clear that you wanted to scream, and it definitely hurt. "Y/N, don't listen to what I said just now, darling. Please don't take my words to heart, I beg you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I really don't understand your position, darling. You didn't do anything wrong, I'm in the wrong here," Before Yuma touched you, Jo pulled him away slowly, still smiling. "It's time for you to rest and go home, I know you are very tired after facing my sister again, go home, Yuma. Calm your mind, you need to rest," Jo said softly, but Yuma really didn't want to leave you. "Jo, you can be mad at me, but—"

"I'm not mad at you, I understand your position now. Y/N and I have been giving you trouble all this time," Yuma shook his head, he tried to reverse Jo's belief, that he didn't feel in trouble, but it seemed like Jo didn't want to cause Yuma any more trouble.

"Jo—"

"Go home, Yuma. Y/N also needs rest, it's almost late at night, you have a stage schedule tomorrow, right?" Jo cut in again, and Yuma knew, it seemed like Jo was 'throwing him away' subtly so he wouldn't feel even more guilty.

Yuma lost, he sighed then took his bag. Before completely leaving in front of you and Jo, Yuma stroked your hair and then gave your head a long kiss.

As he entered his car, he cursed harshly several times and got angry at himself for not being able to control his emotions in front of you. Moreover, he uttered insults that were not appropriate.

• JO

(Basketball player!Jo x Nerd!fem!reader)

"Why did you have to be the representative for the photo shoot, Jo?" You looked at Jo sadly when he was just busy playing basketball. You and him were on the basketball court which was relatively quiet, because Jo didn't want to go home from there yet.

"Yeah, because I'm the captain of my team," Jo said lightly.

"But doesn't it have to be the captain?" — You

"Yes, but my coach chose me." — Jo

"But you can refuse," — You

"I can't refuse my coach," — Jo

"But it hurts me," Jo let out a rough breath when you said that, he turned around to look at you. "It's just a photo shoot, Y/N. There's nothing to worry about," Jo said which made you even sadder, you smiled faintly at him. "This photo shoot for the school sports magazine certainly worries me. You know, the cheerleading captain who will be photographed with you is one of the girls who has a big crush on you. She's also the girl who doesn't like me because I'm dating you," Jo rubbed his face roughly, because you were always sensitive when he was close to lots of girls, whether it was just for a project or something else. "It's just a photo, Y/N! No more than that, don't overdo it like that," Jo said, he was starting to look annoyed at your behavior.

"Yeah, photos that can hurt my feelings! You always don't understand how I feel," You said vehemently. Jo slammed the basketball roughly. "You always act childish when I only have projects with girls. Come on, Y/N! Try to understand my position too!" Jo growled in frustration, but you also got emotional. "Not just photos, but any means he can find to get you. I'm not stupid, all the girls love you openly, they flirt with you even though they know you're my boyfriend!" You shouted harshly at Jo. "Oh or are you happy because you can deal with beautiful girls, you're bored with me, right?" You continued, and it ended up leading to words that he was completely unaware of.

"Yes! I enjoy dealing with beautiful girls?! Yes, I'm bored with you, that's why I always enjoy dealing with beautiful girls!" Jo responded to your scream no less harshly. You also jumped in surprise when he shouted at you with words that quite hurt you. "You should be self-aware, if you want to be in the position of a girl who can be with me without fear or insecurity, you should change yourself! Don't remain static as a nerd girl who can only be blindly jealous but can't change herself one bit!" Jo continued sharply, hie mouth completely unknown to him because he was saying words that you shouldn't have heard.

"Be beautiful if you want to be like them! You can't get into cheerleading extracurriculars, and you're just complaining. Not trying to change! I also wonder why I could fall in love with you, crazy about you. Even though there are many girls who are more beautiful than you," Jo's last words succeeded in breaking your heart. And you start to feel like you should have rejected him when he asked you out. You don't think about the risks of what he might say if he's emotional. You also feel that what Jo said is also true. You should change yourself, not just complain and complain about your insecurities.

Jo, who was still annoyed, immediately took his bag, he was about to leave you out of the field. "Do you want our relationship to end, Jo?" You asked in a shaky voice as he walked quickly after bumping into your shoulder. Jo immediately stiffened when he heard your hoarse voice. This is the first time he's heard your voice this strained.

He looked over at you who just stood there, your eyes bloodshot, holding back the tears that were really about to come out. And for the first time too, he saw your eyes look this broken.

"If I really can't meet your standards, let's just end this relationship. Find another girl of your dreams," You continued what you were saying. You said that with fear, afraid that he was really bored and didn't love you anymore.

"You can date any girl, any girl who meets your standards. I just don't want to ruin your youth anymore because of dealing with a girl like me," In that instant, Jo immediately seemed to have been hit by a stupid word. He doesn't realize and doesn't understand that you are the one who is hurt the most here, not him.

"No, Y/N. Don't say that, my dream is with you," Jo said frantically. He walked quickly over to you, when he was near you again. He pulled you into his arms, you wanted to struggle, but the more you struggled, the stronger his hug became. As a result, you just cried loudly in his arms, screaming angrily several times, but Jo didn't care about that.

"You didn't ruin my youth, I almost ruined my dreams myself. Please forgive me. You're right, I never understood your condition and pain," Jo's tears also flowed quite fast. He's afraid, afraid that his dreams will disappear if you leave. Because, his dream is with you, not with another girl.

"Please, don't leave me. I need you more than anything, I will give you what you should get," Jo said hoarsely, she placed a soft kiss on your forehead, not caring that you were sweaty from crying.

#&team smut #&team #&team imagines #&team jo #&team angst #&team yuma #kpop smut #jpop smut

[chipistrate]

What the fuck why did Gregory do that

OKAY YOU WANT AN ANSWER??? I'LL GIVE YOU A GOD DAMN ANSWER

MAJOR FNAF RUIN SPOILERS

Okay so first of all: Gregory is patient 46 which means he's been under the Mimics control before and he KNOWS how that fucker WORKS. He knows how it affects people. He knows how it tricks people. He knows how it hurts people. That is important context here.

Gregory is 12 years old and just escaped a very fucking scary situation. He just escaped the control of an animatronic that tricked him into murdering multiple people, INCLUDING one of his friends, and also tricked him into lying about his past and parents to the authorities and possibly even manipulating him into MURDERING HIS PARENTS. Gregory is fucking TRAUAMTIZED. That's a LOT for a kid to go through!!! That's a lot for ANYONE to go through!!!!! And that paired with the fact that he also escaped with someone else (Vanessa) who was ALSO under the Mimics control, and also that he and Vanessa are the most likely candidates for who created the M.X.E.S to seal the Mimic away, they probably thought that this whole nightmare was over and that the Mimic couldn't hurt them anymore, that they were finally safe after everything and could finally recover.

But then Gregory's friend gets tricked by it. She gets lured to the Pizzaplex, thinking that he's hurt, alone, and trapped. Gregory says, and there's a chance of hearing a voice line of him trying to get through the Cassie while she's there. He's trying his fucking BEST to get through to Cassie and get her out of there before it's too late, he's trying to save her before she ruins all of his work and puts everyone at risk again. He did his fucking best, but by the time she finally listened and he got through to her, in his eyes, it was too late. The M.X.E.S was shut down, and the Mimic was free.

I have the preface this next part with the fact I know damn well that Gregory could've not been the one to drop the elevator, that it's perfectly possible that Mimic did it and that I actually believe that alternative more. But if Gregory was the one to do it, I think, for the situation he was put in, it's understandable.

Gregory, having failed at saving his friend, knowing that the system he and his new family, the survivors of this things torment, put in place to keep it sealed away and prevent it from hurting anyone anymore, is now free again- knowing how the Mimic affects and infects peoples minds, how it tricks them, thinks she's too far gone. That she can't be saved. Or that if she was saved, it would be at the risk of the everyone else.

So, he drops her. He thinks he's spared her from the Mimics control, and also sealed the one way out Mimic had by destroying the elevator. And it's possible he did, we don't know how that ended exactly- but considering Roxy's line at the end calling out Cassie's name, it's possible she still survived anyway. It's possible his plan failed, it's possible she'll be infected, it's possible the Mimic will be free and that he was just too late.

But we don't know how this ends yet. We just have to wait and see

But either way- Gregory did what he thought he had to do to protect EVERYONE. He didn't want Mimic getting more victims, he didn't want his best friend being one of those victims, he couldn't have that thing be free again after trying so hard to trap it away and be done with it.

He did what he thought was necessary.

Also if anyone who doesn't know me finds this, CREATOR IS MY FRIEND!!! I'M NOT UPSET WITH HIM FOR ASKING THIS LMAO I JUST NEED TO PROTECT MY SON!!!!

#Chip Chatter #ruin spoilers #fnaf ruin spoilers #fnaf sb ruin spoilers #You fucking set off my neurodivergent ass I NEED TO PROTECT MY SON #I'M SICK OF PEOPLE SAYING HE'S A VILLAIN GOD DAMN IT NO HE'S JUST MORALLY GREY AT TIMES!!!!! #HE PROBABLY WASN'T EVEN THE ONE TO DO IT BUT REGARDLESS IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE EITHER WAY HE'S NOT A BAD GUY FOR DOING IT #HE WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT EVERYONE #LEAVE MY SON THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!!!! #I LOVE GREGORY FNAF LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!!!

[byunpum]

Do you hate me? | Part 4 [final]

Pairing: Tsu'tey x Human-navi (hybrid)

Warning: All the characters are aged up 20’s, Family moments, age gaps. Tsu'tey being our baby <3, soft moments.

Note: If you want you want to know how my human-navi look like "HERE". After a thousand years I finally published the last part. And I apologize if it is not what you expected. I have been very sick, between my lupus condition and my other conditions. I've had a lot of things going on in the last few days.I am still recovering, But thank you so much for waiting and the support <3.

AVATAR MASTERLIST | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Neteyam and you landed close to their home. So close that Jake and Neytiri became alert when they heard the screams of their two children. They both looked at each other with concern, getting up from the comfort of their home. Running to see what was happening. It was very strange that you and Neteyam were arguing. Neteyam quickly pulled you down from his ikran, the difference in size at the moment bothering you so much. You couldn't escape from his grip, still holding on to your arm. You try to move away from his grip, but it was not working.

"Let me go!!! Let me go" you shout, neteyam relaxed his grip on your arm a little. So you could move away from him while giving him a push. "What the hell were you doing with Tsutey? Are you crazy?" says Neteyam, who is screaming. Both of them are showing their horns, walking back and forth. You were about to throw yourself on top of neteyam. "You shouldn't have treated Tsutey like that, stop interfering in my life," you say. Neteyam was upset, pacing back and forth. He couldn't analyze what he just saw, tsu'tey his role model, the family friend for so many years kissing his sister.

"He was kissing my sister…of course I had to react like that" speaks neteyam, almost shouting. Not realizing that your parents had arrived. They approached quietly, wanting to hear the reason why their older children were arguing. They were a little hidden, but it wasn't until Jake heard the word kiss and tsu'tey on the same line that all their alarms went up. Jake quickly runs towards you, while neytiri tries to keep up with him. "Ma jake" neytiri can already see discomfort jake has, of course she heard the same thing too. Jake approaches, he had an authoritative posture placing himself in between the two of you to have more space. "Nothing… nete" you start to speak. But neteyam walks to now stand in front of his father. "I found Y/N far away in the floating mountains and he was with tsu'tey…they were kissing" neteyam says. He felt proud of himself, he had fulfilled his mission to take care of you. Not realizing that he was doing the opposite.

Jake feels like a bucket of cold water is being thrown directly in his face. He had just heard what his son had told him. His baby…his little princess? Jake looks down to meet yours, which you had a terrified look on your face. Your eyes were watery, and you were starting to get nervous. "You kissed who?" shouts Jake. Neytiri noticing her partner's behavior, runs to her daughter. Pulling her into his arms, so that she was lying on his body. She knew that Jake would not hurt her daughter, but it was an instinctive move. Something motherly…neytiri could feel how nervous and afraid you were right now. "Jake…calm down" neytiri speaks. Trying to calm jake, who was already agitated. His tail was wagging from side to side, his breathing was fast. And he was looking at you very angrily. "Dad… I" you pause a little. Everyone was waiting for your next answer. You look up and look at your mother. "Mom…I love him, he is good to me" you hear a growl from your father. You have never heard him so upset, so you hug your mother more.

Even this scared neteyam, who had moved more to neytiri's side. "No…no and no. Tsu'tey and you can't be…no no no no" jake kept repeating the same thing. He was furious. "Ma jake..calm down, we have to talk about this" neytiri says trying to find some solution. She was a little confused too. But she was taking this very calmly. It was not something out of this world, she could even say that jake's reaction was a bit ridiculous for her. Her daughter had met her mate, what was wrong with that? Besides, he was a navi who fulfilled all the requirements to be a good mate. And he was tsu'tey they knew him. But neytiri could not understand how jake was feeling right now. Jake might have been all this time in pandora, but some things could not change.

In Jake's head, Tsu'tey was older than you and he couldn't accept the fact that his daughter was in love with him. It was not right, his daughter could be of legal age. But there were many young Navi males that he was sure would be willing to be with his daughter. Why tsu'tey? Did he force her or did he push her? His thoughts were making him angrier. But it wasn't until he heard a voice in the distance that made him angrier. Tsu'tey had been following neteyam since they left the waterfalls. He had gotten a little lost, because neteyam's ikran was quite fast. So as soon as he landed on the ground. He tried to find them, so he decided he would go to your home. He had to know what was going on, he was worried about you. Your brother had taken you away very abruptly. "Y/n" shouts tsu'tey jogging towards the group of friends. His jogging stops slowly, when the man sees an angry jake approaching him.

Tsu'tey was no fool, he knew that jake was much bigger than him. In stature and in position. He had to respect him, he could not rebel. So he stops, as he sees jake approaching. "Get away from my daughter…you fucker" jake says, pushing tsu'tey to the ground. He falls on his back. "Jake…can we talk" tsu'tey calls him by his first name. Jake was about to launch himself over the man, until neytiri steps in front of him. Stopping any move jake could think of. "What's wrong with you? Calm down" neytiri yells, now she is the one who is furious. "You can't act like that" neytiri is scolding jake, while you had already run to where tsu'tey was on the ground. The push was strong enough. "Are you okay?" asks tsu'tey, he can see that you were crying. And you didn't want to look him in the eyes. But you were still helping him up. "Get away from him" shouts jake, pulling away from neytiri. Grabbing you by the hand dragging you towards him. Jake looks for neteyam with his eyes, who is cautiously looking at the whole situation. "I want you to take your sister home," jake says. "And you…I want you away from tsu'tey, got it," jake says, lowering himself to your level. You lower your gaze further. "Yes sir" you speak, as you feel your father let you go with neteyam. "Y/n..wait" says tsu'tey, but you don't dare look back. You had so much respect for your father, you would not break his rules

Jake quickly turns to tsu'tey. "I want you out of my daughter's life… you played with the trust I had in you. So you were the fucking crush everyone was talking about? Just stay away, otherwise we're going to have problems" says jake, warning tsu'tey. "Jake please we have" says tsu'tey. "You need to go…go. Then I'll come and get you" says neytiri, pushing tsu'tey a little to get him further away from jake. He had turned around and started to walk around in one place. "neytiri…I want her," tsu'tey says, looking at her friend. Neytiri's heart broke, tsu'tey's look was so sincere, there was honesty in his voice. "I…I'll talk to you later" says neytiri, she really doesn't know how to act to the situation she was going through. But she sees how her friend obeys her. And walks out of the area. … You arrived at the family hut with your brother, you didn't say a word to him the whole way. Neteyam was trying to talk to you, he knew he had rationed impulsively but you had to understand that he cared about you a lot. "Y/N please…listen to me" says neteyam as you both entered his home. Kiri and lo'ak had arrived minutes before, they were ordering something. When they see you rush in, Kiri notices your tears. She stops you in your tracks, grabbing your hand. "Sister…what happened?" says Kiri. You turn around, and Kiri drags you closer. Now you were in front of her, and your sister was wiping tears from your cheeks. "Nothing… " you are crying, you were a crying sickness. Making kiri hug you, and put her arms around you. "shhhh calm down" kiri comforts you, while lo'ak moves quickly to kiri's side. Searching for your face, stroking your hair. Both brothers see neteyam, who was watching everything. "What have you done to her?" asks lo'ak.

Neteyam tried to explain everything calmly, the more he talked the more annoyed lo'ak and even kiri were getting upset. You kept hugging kiri, burying your face deeper into the hollow of his neck. You looked like a baby hugging its mother. Lo'ak stood in front of his older brother. "And that's it…I really did what daddy told me to do," says neteyam. "That's your problem…you didn't think about Y/N. And why she was doing that. Plus you acted like tsu'tey was a stranger. Please…we all knew something was going on with tsu'tey and our sister!" shouts lo'ak. Neteyam is struck dumb, as if they all knew. "You guys knew?" says neteyam somewhat confused. "Of course" says kiri, holding you tighter. "And why didn't they tell me anything?" asks neteyam trying to get closer to you. "Don't touch me" you push brother. Lifting you off the ground, and walking over to where your hammock was. Kiri and lo'ak look at him with annoyance, Kiri still had his arms outstretched. "You need to go to her and apologize," says kiri. Neteyam started to approach your hammock, he touches the side of your back. "Y/n…I didn't mean to, I'm sorry" says neteyam. He didn't get any response from you, so he lets his head lay on your ribs. "Sorry" speaks neteyam. "I'll talk to dad…he'll understand that you two like each other" says neteyam. You turn to look at your brother, who is teary-eyed. If there was one thing you knew very well, it was that neteyam was a sensitive. "He won't do it…he's too stubborn. But don't worry, I'll be fine" you speak. Noticing how your other two brothers move closer to you, surrounding you. You knew they supported you, even if they all disagreed. You look back at neteyam, and give him a shy smile. You couldn't be mad at him, you know his attitude was instinct. You know he wants the best for you. …

Jake keeps walking back and forth. He was still upset, he couldn't believe what was happening right now. Neytiri walks up, and grabs her partner's arm. This takes jake by surprise, but he didn't expect neytiri to punch him in the arm. "Are you out of your mind… did you just see what you just provoked?" says neytiri. "Wait!!! Are you mad at me?" says Jake. Neytiri smirks in annoyance, and yells at Jake. "You fool!!! You just pushed your daughter's mate away" says neytiri. " mate!!!WHAT?" jake's mouth dropped open, like what mate?. Tsu'tey could not be your mate. "Neytiri…tsu'tey is too old for y/n…no no and no" yells jake a little. He was having a crisis. He can see neytiri start to look at him curious and confused. Sure, now he understood. Neytiri didn't share his concern, because his annoyance that his daughter was younger than his supposed partner. It was not a concern for the omaticaya. Love is love…and when two navis choose each other there is nothing that can be done. On the other hand it took neytiri a while to get the message that jake wanted her to understand. But after several minutes she was able to understand.

"Come here" commands neytiri, taking jake's hand. Making him sit on a set of rocks that were next to them. "Y/N is a ready-made woman. She is ready to find a mate and start her family" neytiri says calmly. She wanted jake to understand everything. "Yes I know…but" jake tries to speak but neytiri interrupts him. "She is of age…there is nothing wrong. If tsu'tey is the one you better accept it. Besides…" neytiri lowers her head, now she was the one showing sadness. "It has been so hard for y/n to fit in with the clan…I came to think she would never find someone" says neytiri. "Tsu'tey is a good man…accept that. I will go talk to him and confirm if his intentions are good" says neytiri. "And how will you know that?" jake asks with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "I will know…everything will be fine. Now you have to think about how you will apologize to your daughter" neytiri says. Jake's tail tucks between his legs, now he was the one getting nervous. How was he going to apologize to you.

Jake and neytiri arrive at the home. They found all their children on place. Neteyam, kiri and lo'ak. They were sitting around talking about you, while you and tuk were taking a nap in your hammock. It had been a while since you had arrived, so to calm down you decided to take a nap and tuk always accompanied you. "Did she fall asleep a long time ago?" asks Jake, approaching your hammock. Stroking your hair, adjusting some strands of hair you had on your face. "Mmm yes" says neteyam timidly. He still felt bad. Jake turns to look at neytiri, who was looking at him with concern. Jake gets a little closer to your face and gives you a kiss on the cheek. "Baby…get up. I want to talk to you?" jake says, seeing you whine, and somewhat sleepily you turn and hug tuk more. "mmmm" you whine. "Ma jake let her rest… later you'll talk to her" says neytiri, caressing jake's shoulder. They both walk away and decide to let the afternoon run quietly. You didn't get up all afternoon and kept sleeping all night. Even tuk had already gotten up, and you settle in so you can continue to sleep. "Y/n…baby come eat" jake says quietly. He was waiting for you to answer. But he only got silence in response. … … Morning came quickly, and neytiri left the house earlier than usual. Everyone was still asleep, so she went out quietly. She wanted to talk to tsu'tey. After all…she knew it was her job to know how he felt about his daughter. She was doing this for her mate, she wanted Jake to feel secure in his daughter's new partner. Neytiri approached tsu'tey's home, to her surprise she saw her friend getting ready to go hunting. Tsu'tey was more than her childhood friend. He was like her brother, once her fiancé. She knew what he had been through, neytiri wanted tsu'tey to be happy. "Tsu'tey" spoke neytiri, the man turned to look at neytiri. The woman could notice how he just gave her a simple greeting. But he did not smile at her as he always did. "What's wrong neytiri? I don't want more…" says tsu'tey moving a little away from the closeness neytiri had created between the two of them. "I want to talk to you…about Y/N" says neytiri. tsu'tey's eyes widen. "Did something happen to her? Is she okay?" tsu'tey approaches, neytiri stops him by placing her hands on her friend's shoulders. "No…she's perfect. But I want to talk about what's going on between the two of you," says neytiri. Tsu'tey stands silently, relaxes a little and invites neytiri into his home.

This situation was difficult and strange for tsu'tey. Why did he have to be going through all this. This was not normal in the clan. Why was it such a problem to be with you. He knew he had to ask your father's permission, but why was he being denied to be by your side. He was a good man, one of the best warriors in the clan. He would give his daughter a good life, be a good mate and take care of her. He didn't understand why Jake had acted this way. Neytiri sat down and very calmly explained to tsu'tey everything that was happening. Why jake was acting like this, and what his reasons were for being as upset as he was the day before. Even for her it was difficult, but she tried to do the best she could. "I want you to go and talk to her…I don't want this to break you two up" says neytiri. "I promise you that I only want what is best for her" says tsu'tey. "I know…and don't worry about jake. He'll understand…don't worry" neytiri gives a warm smile to her brother. She approved of this union..she knew they both deserved this, deserved to be together.

Jake was waiting for neytiri to approach him. She looked quite happy, her tail was wagging from side to side. "So?" asks Jake. Neytiri walks over and gives him a quick kiss on the lips. "He's coming to talk to her…" says neytiri. Seeing the look of annoyance on jake's face. The woman places her hands on her partner's face. "You have to let your little girl grow up…she will be fine. The feelings they both feel are good. Eywa has everything under control. Take it easy," says neytiri. Jake leans back a little on the touch and laughs. "y/n went for a walk… she didn't want to talk to me. She didn't even want to eat anything" jake says. "She'll be fine…you'll see she'll get over her anger. And you need to apologize too," says neytiri. Jake did apologize to you, as soon as you woke up in the morning. Your father ran to apologize to you, but you didn't speak to him again. You just got ready to leave and told neteyam that you were going for a walk. "I'm going to walk for a while neteyam..so you can tell dad" you speak, neteyam just nodded with a face. Giving a quick glance at his father, who was across the room.

You wanted to go outside to clear your mind, you were still upset with your father. The situation that had happened the day before was very painful for you. Why did he have to act like that, he had behaved very badly with tsu'tey. He had done nothing wrong…but you knew this was going to happen. You knew your father was going to act like this. You were lost in thought, sitting on one of the rocks near the fruit trees. Some omaticaya women were picking fruit, and from time to time they looked at you with concern. You had always been so cheerful, and now you had a sad look on your face that was very noticeable. " Honey, are you all right?" asks one of the women. You lift your face, laughing a little to relax the woman's concern about you. "Yeah…I'm fine" you feel her give you a squeeze on the shoulder and continue working. Tsu'tey had arrived at the fruit picking area, he knew you used to be in this area. When he arrived he was able to locate you quickly, it wasn't as if you were hard to find. But he was surprised to see you sitting on the rock, playing with your toes. You seemed so lost in thought. He walks over and picks a fruit from the tree and kneels down in front of you. You didn't even notice his presence, your head was down. But you are surprised when you feel a strong kiss on the top of your head. "Hello sweetheart" says tsu'tey with a big smile on his face. Out of excitement you let out a gasp and jump in for a hug. Wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face. "You came back!!!" you almost shout, pulling away a little. To place your hands on his face, analyzing every expression he was making. He looked so happy, the scene was not foreign to all the navi women who were working nearby. It was strange for them, but they didn't decide to make a big deal out of it.

"Why wouldn't I?" says tsu'tey. "Sorry for what happened…I didn't" you tried to apologize, you were so embarrassed. "yawnetu…you don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything" tsu'tey comes over and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. You notice that they were in a public area, where your father could see you. So you pull away and push tsu'tey a little. "Hey..no wait!!! Dad might see you and" you speak, while you feel tsu'tey holding you more by the waist. "Relax…we talked and everything will be fine" tsu'tey says, you could tell he was in such a good mood. "What do you mean you talked to him? Everything is ok?" your excitement was so big, you go closer to give him a kiss. But you hear some giggles in the background, and you turn to see some little girls giggling nearby. You knew it was innocent smiles. Tsu'tey giggles a little, and comes over to give you another kiss on the forehead. "Yes…everything is resolved" says tsu'tey.

And yes, everything had been settled. Before going to look for you, tsu'tey had taken it on himself to go and talk to jake. He knew that neytiri had told him not to go, but he had to settle this somehow. He didn't care what happened. Besides, jakesully couldn't claim anything from him. She shouldn't have treated him like that. He went to the Sully home and confronted Jake. To his good fortune, Jake was in a different mood. He seemed calm and passive. Apparently neytiri had talked to him, and made him understand. Because Jake even greeted him, and apologized to him. They were able to talk, and set the issues straight. Tsu'tey could understand Jake's point of view, you were his eldest daughter, and you were different from the rest of the clan. Jake didn't want them to play with your feelings, to use you. But after almost an hour of talking to the man, Jake accepted tsu'tey. Not completely and he still had his doubts, but he knew his daughter would be okay. Besides, neytiri was at his side, pressing his hand. Just to make sure he would accept his daughter's new partner.

After a while, 4 months to be exact. You and Tsutey had united before eywa. And you were preparing your new home, tsu'tey insisted that he had to have a completely new place for you, that would be comfortable and functional for you. Although you kept reminding him that you could live comfortably in his home, he insisted that he had to have one from zero. And he was taking care of all that work. Neytiri was trying to keep Jake from getting so involved in your relationship with Tsu'tey. He was always giving tsu'tey opinions on how the whole place should be, so that you would feel comfortable. But neytiri would tell him to leave you alone, that you two knew what you were doing. On the other hand, the one who was very excited about your new life was Kiri. Your sister was so happy for you, but on the other hand neteyam was still a little suspicious about your new life change. He was having a hard time getting used to living without you. He was very close to you, and the thought of you leaving the family home was killing him, but you were trying to calm him down.

"Come here!!!" you shout, as you run towards one of the spirit trees. As you heard tsu'tey's footsteps behind you. The little smiles and shouts of enjoyment, could be heard all around the forest. You moved forward faster, and reached the tree. It was a quiet night, tsu'tey told you that he wanted to go to the spiritual tree for a while, he was going to give you a surprise. You look around and see no one. "Ma tsu'tey…where are you? Stop the jokes!!!" you speak, waiting for it to come out from either side of the glowing branches falling from the tree. You are surprised when you feel Someone blow on your back and you scream in fright. "Hey!!! Don't do that!!!" you whine, as you turn around while tsu'tey laughs. "Come here sweetheart…sit down" tsu'tey speaks sitting down on the floor dragging you with him. So that you would settle into his lap. Your back crashed into his chest dropping all your weight on it. Which realistically was nothing to him.

"And what was the surprise?" you raised your head to look at him. He had a tender smile on his face, and you swore he was getting nervous. Because the sounds of his tail tapping the ground could be heard. "I want to give you something…" he pauses, as he reaches for something in one of the little bags around his waist. A very pretty little bag that you had made for him. From it she pulled out a handmade and hand-woven necklace. It had many feathers that matched the ones in your earrings. You are surprised and you settle down to stand up straighter and look more attentively. "I had prepared this a long time ago…for the love of my life, Sylwani. I never got to give it to her… I only got to give her that pair of earrings you have here" says tsu'tey quickly touching your ears, tickling them. You laugh and turn your full attention back to him.

"I thought I could never give it to someone who meant so much to me… but here you are. My sparkle of hope, my new life. Now I understand that this always belonged to you" says tsu'tey taking the necklace and placing it around your neck. You help him and lift your hair with your hands letting him adjust the necklace. "I love you" you speak, looking up so you can see him smile. You have never seen this smile before…it was one of love, of peacefulness. He wraps his around your body, and you let yourself be carried away by the new feeling of warmth. You could swear you feel someone else join in the embrace. But you decide to ignore it and continue to wrap your arms around tsu'tey's arms. " I already found my own family" tsu'tey says softly.

"You already found it" says Slywanin. Hugging them both. At last she could rest, at last he would be all right.

p.s: I will be answering several requests that have been left in the inbox. Thank you very much for your support!

Tsutey babygurls: @astreaaries @satankilledmyghosts @bigbootahjudy @arminsgfloll @elegantkidfansoul @mechformers @anxietydrogz @neteyamyawne @siimiasoi @kathrynlupin @fanboyluvr @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @anxietydrogz @letsloveimagines

#tsu'tey x reader #tsu'tey #avatar wotw #avatar x reader #na'vi x human #na'vi x reader #tsu'tey fic #alien x human #avatar 2 #avatar 2009 #female y/n #human reader #human y/n #avatar x you #avatar x y/n #avatar 2022 #avatar the way of water #tsu'tey x human reader #neteyam imagine #neteyam sully #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x human reader #jake sully x reader #tsu'tey avatar #tsu'tey imagine #tsu'tey smut #tsu'tey headcanons #tsu'tey x you #neteyam

[probablyhuntersmom]

As Hunter puts the work in to recover and heal, looking back on Belos's 'kindness' in offering him a staff, taking him in, and providing the opportunity to be special as the Golden Guard...will be confusing and will involve seemingly conflicting emotions.

Having that treatment from his 'uncle' was the only reference point of feeling loved, while experiencing terror deeper down. This lasted for years before he met Luz and co.

He has overall spent less time in the new framework of healthy found family, than the years in the Castle.

I was looking at scenes from a couple of movies - the Black Widow movie and also Blade Runner 2049 (spoilers for both movies ahead, obviously) - as psychology references to see how two other fictional characters recalled their confusing but significant memories.

These examples carry some big concepts, one of which is that we "recall with our feelings". Not with pure impersonal logic that neatly trims away false info and discards it. If only it were that easy to dust our hands clean this way when healing from trauma.

In Black Widow, Yelena is the character who wears her heart on her sleeve the most, like Hunter naturally does. When confronted with the revelation that her happy childhood was staged, naturally Yelena feels betrayed:

(the GIF file for above was too big so lol I just screencapped a still frame from it)

But she quickly makes a conscious decision on how she wants to view those good memories, when hearing her sister Natasha saying it was all fake. This is perhaps her most important line in the movie:

She still chose to believe it had all been real. She is actively claiming the meaning that her good childhood had provided for her. Choosing what kind of lens she'd like to view those memories through. Defending that good meaning. Because her life fell apart after that good childhood came to an end. She could choose to say it was all fake, if she wanted to see it as fake.

She confronts Melina, her (staged) maternal figure who obviously isn't her biological or even a proper adoptive mother, and says: "You are my mother. You were my real mother, the closest thing I ever had to one."

When it comes to Hunter, he wouldn't find it as straightforward to acknowledge that the times when Belos was nice to him "felt real". Would he ever want to view the late Emperor as his uncle? Not via any conscious decision, I'm sure...since he's the opposite of Yelena here. Hunter's safe haven was after he escaped the Emperor's Coven, but Yelena's haven was at the start of her life, which she wished had been permanent.

Those months of summer when Hunter spent time away from Belos in the human realm must've been so special for him. But when faced with inevitable confusing flashbacks especially after Belos's death (that involve the subconscious, not conscious, part of his mind), he's still going to feel that the Emperor was a close family member whom he had an attachment with. Belos was the closest thing he ever had to family for so long.

In the Black Widow example, Yelena felt that Melina was her mother, from an early age. Around two decades later in her young adulthood, she still feels that this is the case, and consciously still wishes for that. She was lucky to be able to reconcile with Melina in the movie.

Hunter isn't as lucky. While he recovers, I don't think he can simply dismiss what it felt like to be told that he is part of a family (even if it was a lie) in such fragile formative years:

As an example, if I had first been told at age 5 by a parent that they promised to protect me, only to find out a decade later that they actually wouldn't have ever cared if I died...I would be hella confused.

Quoting a guest lecturer from my first year of therapist training, the part of our brains responsible for reasoning and logic - the prefrontal cortex - does not begin to seriously mature until our late teen years. Which is why early childhood memories can't just be viewed by our adult selves and easily trimmed away and viewed in black-or-white as truth-or-lie. Those early years are sensitive for us all, in how they shape us later in life. That inner child is still in each of us.

Blade Runner 2049's protagonist, K, has an arc that takes a different direction: he had actual false memories implanted that were not even his own, but the theme that is consistent for this post is those memories still felt real to him, and thus affected him emotionally. He felt unfulfilled and wanted something new, to feel like he had a soul, which led him on this risky quest. Sadly, he easily believed in a lie because it matched the truth he wished for. Thus, even false memories could feel real to him because he was desperate for meaning in life.

This movie has a cyberpunk dystopian setting, so it's of course more bleak. K was made to believe so strongly in those memories because he was ultimately used as just smokescreen, to keep the real person (who had those memories) well-hidden. Below, he speaks to the memory maker who formed his false memories. She is a very skilled deceiver, and successfully engineers experiences that didn't actually happen because she inserts fragments of truth here and there.

And she makes some good points about how she succeeds at implanting false memories:

Especially the last two lines, "We recall with our feelings. Anything real should be a mess."

Linking back to Hunter, it would be a tough process to learn how to make peace with his childhood with Belos. Because anything that felt real would be a mess.

And K has a similar line as Yelena did:

The running theme I spotted is the realness of confusing memories for these characters, because their inner conflicts involve questioning themselves: whether or not they were just imagining the good feelings they felt.

While we never got confirmation whether Belos used false memories or not, I'm inclined to think he didn't...in order to work more subtly and over a long period of time on Hunter as his latest grimwalker project. The deadlier lies are the ones with many bits of truth scattered throughout their intricate webs, like what the memory maker in Blade Runner 2049 could pull off.

Belos's treatment would've felt kind to Hunter at the time. As they say, how we feel about any experience we have is "what we make of it". Or how we choose to view the experience.

I think Hunter needed to believe his uncle really was kind, while maintaining his own image, in order to keep going and survive.

This tragically meant he had to believe he wasn't doing enough.

It is always scarier for an abused child to see that their parent in fact isn't loving after all/isn't a good person, compared to imposing shame upon themselves and believing they aren't good enough.

Of course, all this would've changed by the time we get to here and beyond:

Memory is subjective and our minds are so powerful that they find evidence to seemingly confirm any kind of beliefs that we form.

All three characters in this post were cogs in a machine, reduced to being pawns in a scheme...until they later had the space to decide things for themselves.

As seen in Hunter's efforts in his Golden Guard days to be good enough in the role, Yelena taking a stand to preserve the purity of an untainted childhood (even if it was staged and not organic), K defying authority to cross a line in his duties and get answers about who he was....this is how much we as humans will clamber to grasp onto a sense of personhood, to give our lives meaning and survive the best we can.

Yelena wanted to preserve the memories of her childhood as good, as a haven or a warm fuzzy bubble to look back on, because it got torn apart before she reunited with her family many years later.

Obviously Hunter can't do exactly the same i.e. preserving the entirety of his time in the Castle as "good", since he has now been able to see that Belos was a constant threat upon his life. However, he could still look back on smaller pockets of his childhood as pleasant, by isolating those specific memories.

We have two examples in canon: the way he grins when remembering the experience of being left on top of the mountain and climbing back down. And him saying that "weekends were nice" since he tasted partial freedom by being outdoors going on missions.

In fact, he would likely start out wanting to erase his childhood, view it as entirely bad and terrible to revisit, and try to force himself to forget its significance and start afresh. But this would only worsen the unpleasant emotions associated with this time of his life that he'd rather wish had not existed.

Mental health recovery is counter-intuitive: avoiding or denying emotions tend to make them grow bigger and scarier, while letting them feel seen and heard can help them along to shrink and positively transform over time. Hunter's therapist would have to provide him with psychoeducation on this so that he doesn't feel like he's grieving wrongly. It would bring him more peace if he can acknowledge both of these seemingly conflicting truths:

Factually, Belos did lie to him and betray him.

(Here's the important part) Emotionally, if the 'kindness/love' offered by Belos felt real at the time, received by Hunter's very legit need for attachment and meaning, then yes, it was real.

Both these points can coexist. Belos's love was untrue in the factual sense (we in the audience can easily see this), yet true in the emotional sense for a young child like who Hunter was. Which is what makes it hard.

Someone would ask Hunter, "Do you think he loved you?" and the answer isn't simple. Maybe it'd be something like "He didn't, but I felt like he really did." And the second half of that sentence ("but I felt like he really did") honestly doesn't need to be changed or removed, and the grief in those words should be honoured. Belos only cared about meeting Hunter's emotional needs as a means to an end, and as strange as it sounds to say this...it did help Hunter survive long enough, however mistreated he was. Because he still clung on to meaning and a purpose in his life.

The love wasn't there in the technical sense: instead it was a twisted version of Philip's love for Caleb, not any love extended towards Hunter. But this love still felt mostly real to Hunter before he fled the coven.

And I bet that even if it was for a split-second, Belos's gaslighting of "Why are you hurting me? I only wanted to help you" felt real and true to the poor kid here:

before Hunter expressed that he knew who Belos truly was as a person: a liar.

#toh hunter #the owl house #toh analysis #loz writes a meta #another spontaneous meta after I watched Blade Runner 2049 today #I keep writing about my little baby and I ain't sorry #abuse mention #trauma mention

[cceanvvaves]

growing up; p.jh

(moved to isanggayfrog) warning: none

Jihyo and Y/N have been inseparable the moment they met. The latter arriving in Jihyo's town at the raw age of 4, it was no question as to how the two became so close easily, being the same age, give or take a few months. 

Two girls stood behind their fathers, small hands clutching the men's legs. The slightly shorter of the two stared with wide, curious eyes, wanting to make a new friend but too timid to approach first. Instead, she sent a shy smile, to which Y/n responded with a small one of her own. "Sorry about my daughter," Y/n's father laughed. "I assure you, she's very talkative at home. She's still young, so moving's probably different for her, though I hope she's too young to miss the old house much." Mr. Park looked at her amusedly, pushing Jihyo out from behind. "Go on, say hi."

***

"'M bored," complained Y/n, lazily scribbling a messy 'bear' on her paper. She glanced over at Jihyo's drawing, eyes widening impressed at the much neater flowers. "Look," said Jihyo excitedly, "this one is me" - she pointed at a stick figure in a triangular dress - "and this is you!" she tapped another 'girl' with wiggly lines for hair. The doodles could only be told apart by the dresses' colors, one pink and the other purple. She wrote a barely legible note that said 'Y/n n Jihyo 4evr' with a crossed out 'Jiho' and inverted r. "Really?" Y/n asked brightly, understanding the seemingly alien handwriting. Jihyo nodded. "You agree, right?" "Of course!"

***

"Dad?" Jihyo called up to her father. At 8 years of age, she proved to be a very curious and observant child. "Why do you kiss mommy?" Mr. Park looked into the innocent eyes of his daughter and chuckled. "Because I love her, very, very much." Equipped with this information, she skipped happily to her best friend, pulling her along to the privacy of the bedroom, away from parents' prying eyes. Jihyo suddenly became nervous, which didn't go unnoticed by Y/n.

"What's wrong?" the (still) slightly taller asked, taking her friend's left hand in her own, since the right was hidden behind her back. Slowly, the young Park produced a small, square box, topped with a purple bow. "I asked mommy to let me get it for you," she explained, head bowed. Y/n took it carefully into her hands, slowly lifting the lid and gasping at its contents. A beautiful key pendant shone back at her, its golden glow reflecting in her eyes.

"It's... beautiful," she breathed. "I- thank you- I can't- how can I-" She was cut off by a chaste kiss to the lips, given by none other than Jihyo, oblivious to society's views. "Dad said people kiss when they love each other," she mumbled. "And I love you," she finished matter-of-factly, with a bright smile, which Y/n returned after recovering from the surprise. "I love you, too!"

***

"Did you have fun with Jihyo today?" asked Y/n's mother during dinner. At the mention of her best friend's name, the 8 year old's eyes brightened. "Yes! She gave me a gift. I love her," she finished confidently, scooping some rice into her mouth. Her father frowned. "You love her?" Y/n nodded, "I love her! Like you love mama." Shaking their heads, the parents thought she was too young to know the different kinds of love, so they let it pass, taking it to mean that Y/n loved Jihyo as a sister.

***

A duo of 12 year old girls cuddled by the window, limbs tangled in the covers and staring at the same book. Both of them looked quite untidy, which wasn't really unusual since it was very early in the morning. Y/n and Jihyo had had a sleepover, presently reading Cinderella's story together. "You know, I always wanted to be a princess," Jihyo stated, turning a page. Y/n snorted. "You're already like Cinderella, you somehow manage to lose your shoes and I have to tie your shoelaces." The shorter scowled before retorting, "Well, you're like Elsa, so cold."

"I am not cold. You're like Belle! If books were people, you'd probably marry one." "Then I'll be Belle and you'll be Ariel, you're as clumsy as her, anyway," Jihyo decided. "Nah, I'll be your prince charming," Y/n teased. "Are you implying that I am the beauty and you are the beast?" Y/n feigned a look of hurt. "Rude! And I thought my future girlfriend was a lovely lady." Jihyo blushed.

***

But all the oblivious talk about love and being girlfriends, all the 'dates' and sneaked hugs ceased as they grew older. People started to raise eyebrows when they were a bit too close; it was no longer cooed at like it was when they were 'young and clueless'. With this, the best friends drifted apart, more focused on getting good grades, hanging out with other friend groups and living their youthful life. Their relationship only worsened when Y/n didn't lose her 'childhood feelings'. Jihyo, on the other hand, had gotten herself a boyfriend, no longer having enough time for all her friendships. It was probably because of this they had a fight.

Both sat around a glass bottle among friends, together in a mutual friend's house. The small group was in the middle of a Truth or Dare game. The last player, Nayeon, who'd just danced to the Macarena for 5 minutes, spun the bottle. It landed on Jihyo, who was asked by a mischievous Nayeon after picking Truth, "Was Daniel your first kiss?" Jihyo glanced at Y/n, who either didn't care or wasn't paying attention. "Yes," she said. Y/n stood abruptly and stalked off without a word, leaving the remaining girls confused.

***

"Why are you avoiding me?" Jihyo cornered Y/n at the girl's bathroom. "Why do you care?" she shot back, already having a bad day and not wishing to deal with anything at the moment. "What? Because I'm worried about you, idiot! Your grades dropped when you're usually a perfectionist, you seem to leave every time I enter the room, and you're always grumpy!" Y/n glared, rising up to her full height, trying to intimidate the shorter. "Why don't you hang out with your boyfriend instead, huh? I bet he keeps you busy." Jihyo gasped, offended. Pushing Y/n harshly by the shoulder, she said in a higher voice, "What are you implying, huh?! What's your problem?"

"You! You're my problem! Just because we're older, you left me! Sure, I understand you have limited time, you have to juggle it between studies and socializing, but every time I try to hang out with you, you have to decline for your other friends or boyfriend! Is seeing them everyday not enough? Do you even miss me?" she ranted, pushing her way out and slamming the door, leaving Jihyo bewildered.

***

"Jihyo's here to see you, dear!" Y/n's mother called from downstairs. "I'm busy!" she yelled back, but it was a complete lie. She was simply lying down on her bed and sobbing inside. "You shouldn't lie to my face like that," her visitor said with her arms crossed. Peeking at her from under her arm, Y/n scoffed. "Leave me alone." "That's not nice," Jihyo patted the covers smooth. "Do you remember what we used to do here? You said you'd be my prince charming." She smiled at the memory. "Well, you've found your true prince charming," the taller turned away. "No, actually. We broke up a few days ago. I suppose you didn't know because you've been avoiding me," Jihyo added shrewdly. "Why?"

"'Cause we agreed that we didn't like each other anymore."

"Okay," said Y/n, dropping her head back on the soft pillows and willing herself to fall asleep. But she was interrupted by Jihyo. "Do you remember what happened here when we were eight?"

A flash of memory went through her mind. Of course she remembers, it was the happiest day of her life. No, every moment with Jihyo was the happiest. Her hand subconsciously moved to wrap around the key necklace. The action was noticed by the giver.

"You still have it."

"Yeah,"

Silence.. and then-

"Can I kiss you?"

Y/n shot up in surprise, looking incredulously at her friend. "Sorry?"

"You heard me," Jihyo whispered, scooting closer. Y/n thought for a moment. Jihyo broke up with her boyfriend, so she wasn't ruining a relationship.. "Okay."

Jihyo pressed her lips on Y/n's quite roughly, not as gentle as it was when they were 8. Hands roamed each other's bodies, the atmosphere getting hotter by the second and both girls losing the ability to breathe-

Before it escalated further, Y/n pushed her away. "Was that enough for you?" she mumbled with swollen lips, stretching her collar in desperation to cool down.

"It only ever felt right with you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

Y/n grinned. "I'll be your prince charming."

#twice #female!reader #jihyo x reader #park jihyo #twice imagines

[meenawrites]

Humanized Spider: Pt 3

So I've made my peace that I'm not getting work done until I get this all out of my system. 

SO

Ronal's leading Spider's physical therapy, he goes on patrol walks with Tonowari through the village. 

The Metkayina seeing both their leaders doting on this kid just kind of accept it, like they trust them and their judgment and I mean the kid's smile is infectious, people kind of wait for him to smile and are like awwwww (because I said so, he should be loved damnit)

Neytiri still isn't allowed anywhere near him or even within his line of sight. She's definitely calmed down since her altercation with Ronal and has been using this time to reflect on herself, especially with Neteyam's clear protectiveness of the boy and Kiri honestly not really talking to her. Hearing what he's been through and what state he was in really put things in perspective for her and she spends a lot of time communing with Eywa in the cove of ancestors and just thinking over her past with Spider. I'd like to think she realizes how her trauma has allowed her to mistreat a child, but yeah. 

Jake doesn't have as many prohibitions on him of seeing the boy, but he avoids him a lot tbh. Guilt is eating away at him and he can't bear to look at Spider, nor his kids tbh cause they're all so angry with both parents, except Tuk (cause she doesn't really get it).

Aonung also starts kind of taking Spider around with him (I haven't forgotten about him). He was pretty reluctant at first about the human but when his mom of all people went all mama bear over him he was like, well there's no reason for me to be reticent then. His big bro senses are tingling every time he sees Spider now and he's just like must protect, he's so SMOL.

Kiri and Spider spend a lot of alone time together, which doesn't go unnoticed by Ronal and Tonowari (and Neteyam, he knows what's up). They're always holding each other in some way or Spider just kind of shoves his head into her shoulder when he wants attention. She takes him out to the reef and shows him everything she's wanted to show him since the moment she got here. Sometimes they just do activities in silence, basking in the other's presence, other times they'll just talk back and forth nonstop for hours. Kiri makes sure to kiss his growing hair every night and run her fingers through it or pulling at his curls and watching them bounce back up so he knows she loves them. 

Eventually, Kiri does confess to him. I'd like to imagine it's during a night where she's snatched Spider away from Neteyam's protective grasp and takes him out on her ikran for a night flight. Spider's has always loved Pandora's night sky and the stars so she gives it to him. He leans back into her and reaches his hands into the sky as if he could touch them and he looks more carefree than she's seen him since he came back. They land atop one of the few trees near Awa'atlu and settle back against its branches. She tells him she wants to talk to him about something and the seriousness of her expression sobers him up quickly. She says it kind of haltingly, and talks in a bit of a circle before she gets frustrated with herself and just kind of yells, "I LOVE YOU!" then immediately slaps her hands to her mouth, peering at him through her lashes. Spider is just completely slack-jawed and speechless. Like he legit can't believe this is real and actually slaps himself across the face, which serves only to jostle his mask painfully and Kiri hurries to grab his face like what the hell are you doing. And then Spider just starts laughing, his hands coming to cover her own. He can't stop laughing but he's also crying (happy tears yall) and knocks his masked forehead against her own and it comes out of him like an animal that's finally been released from its cage, "I love you, Kiri, so much, since I met you" and BAM adorable beans. I'm trying really hard not to slip into writing a fic rn so moving on. 

Spider's pretty much fully recovered by this point and Ronal and Tonowari finally take him aside and seriously ask him if they can adopt him. Well, Ronal kind of just declares they're adopting him and Tonowari has to correct her and is like, "only if you would permit it. We'd like to officially take you in as family." At this point Spider's cried more than he thinks he has in his entire life during his time with the Metkayina clan but he's still surprised when he tears up again and is just like, "are you serious? Really? Like adopt me like you're my parents?" He obviously can't believe it. And Tonowari's like, "yes, we'd like to be your spirit parents." Spider looks to Ronal for confirmation and wildly wonders if this is some sick joke but she looks just about as serious as he's ever seen her. And he just full on cries. Ronal can't hold back anymore and just pulls him to her side and lets him cry while Tonowari lays a hand on the back of his neck. 

But before officially being adopted, Spider thinks it's time to get some closure with the Sully's. So he has Neteyam ask Neytiri and Jake if they'd be willing to meet with him. It's Neytiri who says yes first, surprising all of them. Neteyam is quick to give a lecture to his parents, the first ever and it feels good tbh, about how they've treated Spider, how Neteyam feels about it, and that he cannot stand by and watch as they mistreat him any longer. He's been obedient for a lot of things, but he's choosing to take a stand against this officially. Obviously all the kids side with him. Tuk doesn't really understand what's going on but she adds in her two cents of, "I love Spider I don't want to see him hurt, please don't hurt him."

They go to meet Spider who has Ronal and Tonowari at his back at their insistence. Ronal is fuming and is dying to say something but she respects her new son's wishes. Tonowari is also angry obviously but he's just happy the kid has agreed and he can try to make up for how he has been treated. Spider flinches when he sees Neytiri but he forces himself to stay sitting. Jake can barely look at him but Neytiri actually looks him head on, and for the first time, he doesn't see a trace of dislike in her gaze, just an eerie calm and an edge of softness that's never been directed at him before. 

Spider takes the lead first. He's spent a lot of time thinking about his past and his relationship with the Sully's (or lack thereof) and a lot of Kiri, Neteyam, Tonowari, Ronal, and even Lo'ak (in a clumsy but endearing way) constantly telling him that he had deserved to be treated better, that who his parents were and had done wasn't his fault, that he was worthy, that it was wrong of them to leave him with the RDA. He couldn't really accept it at first, even vehemently denied it saying he understood. And while his understanding of their actions being motivated by trauma and stuff remained the same, he'd finally come to accept that he had deserved better. And he says as much to the two of them. It's nerve-wracking as hell, but it feels amazing to say, to finally express to them how hurt he felt by Neytiri's dislike for him, how awful it had been to have Jake be kind to him but pull away when it began to feel like anything. I lowkey think Jake starts crying tbh while Neytiri just listens calmly and takes everything in.

When he's done, Neytiri speaks first and wholeheartedly apologizes to him, not averting her gaze or anything. She says that he's right, that her experiences clouded her judgment and hardened her heart against him unfairly. It had drawn a thick veil over her eyes and she'd never tried to see him for who he was and not his blood. She makes no excuses for the way she treated him and says she doesn't dare ask for his forgiveness because she doesn't deserve it. She ignored one of the Great Mother's most important teachings and that will weigh on her always. She doesn't apologize for cutting him on the ship because she did what she felt needed to be done to save her daughter. And frankly Spider agrees which has Ronal about to go off in protest, but Spider smiles at her and she backs down reluctantly. Neytiri apologizes for everything else though and swears to Eywa that she will never do or say anything to consciously hurt Spider again, which seriously shocks him. An oath to Eywa is a big deal after all. He almost chokes up because of it. And then actually does when she says, "I see you" and he can feel she really does. 

Jake frankly has no words but tries his best to blubber through an apology about keeping him at arms length, not making sure he as cared for better, for leaving him behind and never attempting to rescue him. I'm not super invested in his apology as I'm writing this rn so I'm gonna skip past it but yeah. 

Spider steals himself then because he's about to admit something big to them. He's already told his new parents and they've coached him on how best to broach the subject. So he tells them that he knows they don't want to hear about Quarritch but it goes hand in hand with their treatment of his and his overall lack of adult care in his life. He explains with some difficulty what was done to him by the RDA, that Quarritch pulled him out of the torture, gave him more care than he'd ever received before and had been the first adult to genuinely care for his life despite how messed up that was. And then he admits to having saved Quarritch, that he made that split second decision because he couldn't just sit and let the only person who'd ever really cared about him drown. Neytiri is shocked to her core. She wants to run and scream but she sees Spider now, truly, and made an oath to Eywa, so she can't help but face up to the fact that this development was her fault. In her fear of how Spider would turn out like his father, she'd inadvertently contributed to this decision. In not going back for him and just taking Kiri with her and leaving, she had created this situation. So she doesn't get mad, doesn't feel like she's allowed to and apologizes to him again, but makes sure he knows that if she ever sees Quarritch again, she will kill him with no hesitation. 

AND THAT'S THAT YALL! For now anyway, I'd accept any asks about this AU (would love to receive some) because I've had a lot of fun writing this even if it hurts me. Spider is adopted by Tonowari and Ronal, recovers, finds his place in the village. Kiri and him go public and Kiri's ready to beat up anyone who says anything about it. Lo'ak is shook and Neteyam's just like FINALLY. Spider and Neteyam are closer than they've ever been. Obviously shit's gonna happen since the RDA is gone but Spider finally feels like he's rooted somewhere, like he's okay and doesn't only have to rely on himself to take care of himself. He's got a family now who fusses over him obsessively. He's about to become a big brother. The love of his life LOVES HIM BACK! And he starts wearing his hair mostly curly and finds his own sense of identity, no longer trying to copy Jake or try so hard to fit in. 

I'd like to say he's eventually blessed by Eywa and can breathe their air BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT! But yeah that's enough for now. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

PS Ronal and Tonowari begin making him a new songcord.

#Spider Socorro #Meena's Humanized Spider AU #Spider Avatar #Neteyam #Spiri #Kiri #Spider x Kiri #Lo'ak #Ronal #Tonowari #Avatar 2 #Avatar the way of water #Neytiri #Jake Sully #Sully family #Tuktirey #Tuk #Spider deserves love #And he GETS it #Curly haired Spider is the best

[yesbutmakeitgay]

Once Upon A Time I Used To Know A Girl

Chapter 5

Carol Danvers x Reader

Masterlist | This work's masterlist | AO3

Summary: Upon asking some questions you realize the people in charge of your recovery are keeping something from you.

Angst, Slow Burn, Amnesia.

Word count: 914

Sifting Through The Pieces That You Left Behind

"What is Kamala doing?"

"She’s helping your girlfriend, after you ran away from her."

"Make her stop."

"I think it’s a little too late for that, plus, she could really use the support of someone who cares about her." There’s a tinge of judgment in Fury’s words.

The line is silent for a moment, "Then you have to make sure she doesn’t tell her about me, anything at all. In fact, I want you to make sure no one in the compound even speaks my name around her." Carol’s voice is laced with poison.

"And why would I do that?" he challenges her.

"Because you do not want to make me angrier."

"I’m setting the meeting up right now," he relents.

It’s been a couple of weeks of Kamala’s daily visits and you have managed to recover a lot of your lost memories, like fighting alongside Mighty Thor, and helping Maria set up Yelena and Kate in an April fool’s prank that backfired.

You’re both laying on your bed, each distracted by your own electronic device, "I feel like I’ve remembered everyone by now, am I missing someone?"

"Um, no one that comes to mind," she lies, "do you remember my parents?"

"You have parents?" you ask, surprised, "Sorry, that was kinda rude, it’s just, people around here don’t tend to have parents. I knew them?"

"You did, briefly, do you remember your parents?"

"No, but that didn’t bother me before." You zone out a little, exhausted from all the thinking, "Doctor Cho," Kamala hums, "when I woke up, she asked me if I knew who my partner was."

"Yeah."

"I still don’t," She hums again, "do you?" She looks at you and mumbles a soft 'huh.' "Are you even listening to me?"

"Yes, yes, I’m listening, your former partner," she shrugs, not knowing what to say.

"Do you know them?"

"'Know' is a strong word–"

"Do you know who they are!" you interrupt her, losing your patience. Almost as if on cue, a call starts ringing in Kamala’s tablet.

"Oh thank God!" She picks it up privately and after a moment she hands the device over, "It’s for you." You look at her confused and refuse to take the tablet, at that, Kamala rolls her eyes and presses a button.

A hologram appears in the room, you look up at it, startled, "Val?"

"It is I," she says with a cocky smile.

"I thought I was clear when I said I didn’t want to call!" you complain.

"It’s great to see you too." Her smile doesn’t go away.

"I didn’t want it to be this way." Your tone is a bit sad.

"Well, it’s been a busy few weeks in New Asgard, but I thought you might need some cheering up."

"What gave you that impression?"

"Hey, if you really want me to leave you just have to say it." She knows you wouldn’t dare.

"No, no, no, actually, I’m glad you called," there’s a mischievous look on your face, "do you know who my former partner is?" Kamala becomes terrified, she starts to signal for Valkyrie to not answer.

"Who, Marv?" The King looks at Kamala, confused, the girl screams internally.

"No, not Ms. Marvel, obviously, the one I lived in space with." Valkyrie finally picks up Kamala's gestures.

"Oh, no, I don’t know who she is," Val fumbles with her words.

"She’s a she?"

The King opens her mouth, but it takes a moment for anything to come out, "Who’s to say? Well, it was very nice seeing you, but I have some business to attend to." She ends the call abruptly and you slump back on the bed. Kamala stands awkwardly in front of you.

"You people are acting weird, don’t make me go ask Fury."

"You should definitely go ask Fury," Kamala quickly responds, trying to get you off her back, which reminds her she also has some unfinished business with him, but now is not the time. As soon as you're out of sight she leaves hoping to forget the disastrous situation.

You knock on Fury’s door twice and pop your head into his office, "Hey, you got a minute?" He looks up from whatever he was doing and gestures for you to come in, "I was hoping I could ask you some questions about my former partner."

He leans into his desk, trying to seem helpful, "What do you remember about them?"

"Nothing, that’s the thing."

"Not a single thing?" You shake your head. "Well, then I can’t do anything for you," you scoff, "doctor Cho said to let the memories return naturally, it would be irresponsible of me to supply that information to you." He tries to sound convincing, you don’t remember her saying that, but there’s a lot you don’t remember.

You walk back to your room, crushed, who was this person you lived and worked with everyday for years, and why couldn't you remember them? You suddenly recall your alarming dream from last night and consider going to see Kamala about it, but you decide that you won’t share anything new with them until they stop acting weird.

Once in bed you go back to scrolling through your phone thinking maybe you’ll see your partner’s name in there and it will come to you, but, instead, you find something way more interesting.

You select the contact and put the phone up to your ear, it rings a few times before someone answers, "Alias Investigations."

Chapter 6

Tell me all your thoughts!

Tags: @graniairish @thelittleliars @carols-photonblast @rosiotor

Let me know if you wanna be tagged :)

#carol danvers #carol danvers x reader #captain marvel #captain marvel x reader #carol danvers angst #kamala khan #valkyrie

[bangtanhoneys]

Yoongi & Grace: Future's Gonna Be Okay

It was nice to not have many plans now his military service had been announced. His tour across the world with his solo trilogy albums was completed, his tattoo was revealed, he had seen his brothers and now the healing could truly begin. Of course, he had seen the news blow up on Twitter and ARMY’s response.

‘Couldn’t have Big Hit even us more than 24 hours? We’re not recovering from the concert.’

‘First Yoongi breaks my heart by crying and now he does this? What the hell SUGA?!’

But it is what it is.

It has to be done.

It had been great to have dinner with all six of the boys and Grace. Of course, she wasn’t going to miss out on seeing his last concert and he knew she had been backstage, ready to take the mic from Adora in case she needed to jump in to cover the tracks he couldn’t get through. As much as he struggled, he got through those three tracks even with tears and snot covering his face.

He loved her for that. That she was always there, ready to jump in. She did it for everyone.

It was also nice to see the family dynamics at play again with Seokjin & Grace reunited, Jungkook reunited with his adopted parents, Jimin back with his sister, and Taehyung back with his partner in crime. How they controlled the grown-up maknae line with gentle prods. How they soothed an anxious Namjoon and a bouncing Hobi.

Yoongi had the chance to sit back and watch it all, surprised he missed the feeling even after living alone for the past couple of years.

Now he would be the next one to leave.

And he knew what it was like for Grace to say goodbye to Seokjin and Hobi.

Now she would have to say goodbye to her twin.

It was always joked that Yoongi and Grace were two cats in a pod. The near enough same personality, the cool exterior but the massive warmth underneath. How they would do anything for anyone. Yoongi’s shadow. Grace’s bodyguard. Yoongi’s safe place. Grace’s go-to.

Four more to go, another four to say goodbye to. All while prepping for her own solo career and world tour.

Of course, he found her in the practice room, the layout of the stage printed on paper and stuck on the mirror for everyone to memorise. The set list (which was changing every week) was printed up on the wall with handwritten notes from Grace, their performance director, choreographers and even the dancers.

Notes of costumes were on another wall with approval stamps from Balmain and Louboutin, more notes from the stylist team.

The whole floor at HYBE had been dedicated to Grace’s solo career with Bang’s office right at the end, the one spearheading the whole thing. Grace’s own team, now currently nicknamed the Queen’s Guard, was spread across other rooms. Yoongi was proud of her, in more ways than one.

“I thought I’d find you here,” he said as he closed the door behind him and found Grace sitting on the floor, dance practice clothes on but covered in sweat, looking up at the setlist.

“Are you changing your mind again?” he then asked, sitting down next to her while handing over a large mug of tea and a doughnut.

“No, it’s pretty much finalised. There’s just a couple of tweaks to make with each stop but I’ve got a plan for that,” she smiled as she gratefully took the offered items and wrapped her hands around the mug.

Of course, a lot of it had been hidden away from the boys as she wanted it to be a surprise for everyone including ARMY. So many surprises were coming their way that it was going to be a rollercoaster month starting from November and all the way through to when they came back together in 2025.

“How are you feeling now the notice has been put up?” Grace asked, nudging Yoongi to look at her.

“It’s a relief. It’s hard and it’s worrying but Seokjin-hyung and Hobi have done alright. And the military have been informed of my shoulder so we’ll take it day by day. How are you feeling?” he turned the question onto her, turning his head to fully look at her.

“Four more to go,” she muttered with a dry laugh. “I agree with ARMY when they say the quicker you all go, the quicker you get back. And I do feel that. But not seeing you all for at least eighteen months is hard. Jungkook’s is going to be the worst.”

“Well, he is your baby after all.”

He grinned at the look he got and took the doughnut back, breaking it in half so he could have some.

“But you’re going to do well. ARMY is going to explode with all the things you’ve got planned and I’m sure Seokjin is going to be with you when he comes back for most of your tour, or he’ll at least try to be. And I’ll be keeping up to date with it all,” Yoongi said around a mouthful of the doughnut which Grace tutted at.

“I know. I suppose I’m kind of getting used to the idea I’ll be on my own but not fully. I know you all will be watching and supporting. But it would be nice to have you all there anyway.” Grace finished off her tea and set the mug on the floor, letting out a long sigh.

The two stayed silent as Yoongi finished off the doughnut he brought. They stayed like that for a few minutes until he pushed himself up, brushed down his hands and held out his hands for his sister to take.

“Come on, Gigi. Let’s go for dinner, my treat.”

Grace took hold of her younger brother’s hand and let him pull her up, giving her a quick but tight hug.

“Oh yuck, I’m covered in sweat now.”

“I’ve got more dancing than you to do. All you did was stand there and bounce around.”

“Bounce around? Did you see me sweating?”

“I saw you standing there yelling shibal for the world to repeat.”

“Aish.”

#gracechuasks #bts 8th member #bts additional member #bts eighth member #bts female member #bts scenarios #bts fic #yoongi 8th member

[cinefairy]

Y'ALLL!!! when people say that self concept is key they mean: IT. IS. THE. KEY!

here's my success story from focusing on my self concept for a week! just a single week, i am in tears!!

so before, i used to brush off self concept and think that i'll work on it/get a got sc when i get my other desires, which is all wrong. i am so thankful that i let go of the old story, i used to limit myself and wasn't even aware. self concept can easily show you all your desires in the 3d, and then some!! the realisation made my life a 1000x easier.

then i read some posts and success stories that came about all thanks to self concept and i said to myself: that can be me, it is time to stop perceiving myself as a victim/bad manifestor, and i should just start focusing on my self concept! it is time to change the story.

so i started vaunting and ranting and affirming how my self concept is amazing, through the roof, wonderful, perfect, never fails me... you get the story. i didn't even visualize, didn't go into the void, didn't script. i was vaunting in front of the mirror, looking at myself and sometimes pretending i was talking to someone. i repeated that for a week, and almost every day i got some of my desires !!!

now, onto what i manifested:

1. An adorable kitten! my parents never would have gotten me a cat, no matter how much i asked them to, so i just relaxed myself and stepped into the mindset that no matter what anyone in my reality does or says, my desires are here and nothing can stop them. on the second day of the week, my parents asked me if i wanted a cat because my grandparents' cat just gave birth to three cutest kittens.

2. Perfect vision! i am someone who has been wearing glasses my entire life, my sight was deteriorated at birth due to some complications during labor, and my optician told me some years ago that there was no chance for me to be fully recovered (i had a couple of surgeries so far, and constant check-ups, it was so nagging and uncomfortable). she also told me a month ago that i should not use my phone, but nothing can stand between me and my screen time so i just decided to manifest my bad eyesight away! and i did it, but it's weird without my glasses lmao.

3. A new friend group! my old friends were closed-minded people, i am talking unsuportive, bashing on other people, but 'kind' only to others in the friend group, full of negativity and hate. i just needed a fresh friend group, so i manifested one! one of my friends now goes to the same uni as me, we start in october and it's so exciting heheh

4. Fluent in French language! i just wanted to be fluent in a language that wasn't my first language or english, and i had been studying french in elementary school so that seemed like the best option for me.

5. Money! i manifested the amount of my scholarship to double in my bank account and for no one to bat an eye at that, and for a certain amount of money to appear in my wallet daily (yes, spawning thing is so simple with the right mindset!!!), and for my parents to be rich because they deserve it.

6. A perfect dorm room! the dorm rooms my sister had been living in were just not it, so i needed to take thing in my own hands and manifest a two-bed bedroom with it's own bathroom (no communal bathrooms for me pls) in a dorm not far away from college which i share with another friend.

7. Desired body! my figure now is slim, i have 6-line abs odbwkdbajwhj i could only dream of that a month ago, everything on this list makes me so happy!! i went shopping with my mom yesterday and every pair of heans i tried actually fit me which is a big deal for me lol

8. Lenient parents! as i mentioned, my parents were not the ones to let me get a pet, and they also were very strict with my school grades in the past, and with my going out and hanging out with friends. but now, i have a great relationship with them, they are relaxed and they don't forbid me from doing anything (i literally am going on a staycation with a friend this weekend).

9. New clothes! yesterday during shopping, i found so many amazing sweatshirts, even one that is croptopped which i never used to wear, but got the courage to because who else would wear it if not a bad bitch?? i got a denim jacket, some jeans, sneakers... all i need at a discount!!

self concept makes life easy!! asf!! just stay focused on your new reality and there is nothing you can't get! have fun manifesting, and thank you cinefairy for opening my eyes <333

LETS GOOOOO THIS IS SO AMAZING ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ SO PROUD OF YOU ANON WOOW. all these achievements just from affirming how amazing you are.

#ask

[faithfromanewperspective]

gotta say it now bc i've been spending so much time in the 5sos fandom where we're all super protective of our creators: I know supporting an author isn't the same. I know cassie doesn't put herself out there in the same way as zillennial musicians. and I know there are things people in the fandom disagree with her on and I'm not here to minimise that.

but everywhere I interact with the fandom and it's been like this for years now, jokes and things about how old we'll be when the series is finished and yeah it's funny to some extent but as someone who knows what pressure to create does to me, who knows how much it dries my creativity, she's on tumblr. she's seeing some of this. and we gotta tow this line and be careful: careful as to how we're treating her and also careful for the sake of fans ourselves--we don't want to be acting in ways that incidentally result in content being delayed and lower quality because she's been burnt out for ages and we're just giving so much pressure to read twp, read tbvotd and read whatever else she'll doubtless come up with after because she loves the shadowhunters world, she always ends up writing more for it even when she says she won't. and aren't we lucky for that? we love the tsc universe. and if we're old by the time it's all finished, that's the result of her loving this universe she created so much that she just kept writing for it. it's a blessing.

and maybe i sound like an aussie who grew up under a rock in the middle of the bush (which I am) saying this but. when my only queer representation was a singular jacqueline wilson book until i was 14 and read malec's story in tmi, when i've never seen another author portray such a diverse range of realistic neurodivergent characters, when i'm a half white poc with grandparents from borneo which is partially in indonesia and magnus is indonesian, I do find in myself some appreciation for her: the author who created a world of characters I see myself in and I do hope she's okay and I want her to recover from burnout, I know how much it sucks, and it still kinda baffles me how she'll share bits and pieces of her mental health experiences (and she's my parents' age!! and a lot more emotionally aware than most gen x's I know which I so appreciate) and we don't, largely, as a fandom, seem to care. like i get we're in a fandom for the characters and stories she created not her, herself, but like ???

I love seeing the artist behind the art they create. I love it when they're human and imperfect and yet we can still see the good in them that they put out to impact the world with, a legacy, and when we see their imperfections and we can acknowledge this all together, acknowledge and come together for the fans who have been hurt by these mistakes, oversights, harmful views, that are mixed in with the good. and I love it when we can still come together after this and be like, I support this creator, I want them to be okay, I want them to keep discovering love and I want to see it in their writing. and this I don't think should only apply to conventionally attractive twentysomething men who sing! maybe i'm biased in the observation that it is usually where I see the most artist support. or maybe it's actually a trend and as feminists, as people who see our dignity in more than being fuckable and more than being Perfect Leaders, we can do better.

and so i don't care when the wicked powers come out. i'll have finished my masters' degree before I finish that book series and hear the rest of kit and ty's story i started reading in high school. but that's okay. if that's what it takes to get a good story. i don't care when we get the final tec book, even though i've got two copies of the other two on my bookcase and don't know if the cover art will even be the same when the third one comes out. because we love pretty timely things but we're not owed them. and I have to say, this isn't completely true. I do care. I do want to know. I do want to experience that joy. but much more than that I want cassie to write at her own pace and I want her to enjoy it and I want her to keep discovering her own creativity and the proof is honestly in the pudding that every artist I've seen decide to do things at their own rate has ended up way more productive than before they decided that. and artists are people after all. it's what makes their art so good and forms the basis for the fandoms we're in. so I hope she knows it's okay to take her time.

#cassandra clare #tsc #tmi #tid #tda #twp #tec #the wicked powers #tlh #kit herondale #ty blackthorn #again. i really don't want to say 'she's perfect and can never hurt people' #but the point of this is that she still deserves to have freedom over her schedule and we can do our part by not being demanding to the #extent that we forget that she's human. that she's poured so much of herself into the characters and worlds she's made and she deserves to #keep looking after herself even when that means we don't get what we want as soon as we want it. we can be a loyal fandom

[bestworstcase]

Hmm Yang - Cinder parallels

Prosthetics - easy

Adoption/Step mothers - quality of such isn't because Glass Unicorn is uniquely bad in a way that has no comparison with Yang

Mother figure who is terrible at vocalizing care. Raven popping up as a bird in Yellow Trailer and volume 3 instead of taking Luke a normal person, Salem being very very bad at talking. This gets even more pronounced if that theory of Raven and Qrow (from STRQYR I think) being used as an additional lock on the Vault at Beacon is correct and Raven sending Yang to ask Qrow about what Ozpin did to them was intended to get that information from Qrow. As opposed to just catching the two not mentioning the bird thing.

Summer Rose modeling (probably). Yang in being stunningly similar in mannerisms of the little we've seen of Summer. Cinder in presumably being taught further by Summer how to fight.

Fire connotations... Possibly extending to Fenghuang (Chinese Phoenix, and the female counterpart to the masculine Chinese dragon) and Cinder's Phoenix imagery though I think there's actually very little similarity between European phoenixes and Fenghuang. This I think actually just happens to reflect the next point very well

Ozpin's mistakes and collateral damage. Cinder is explicitly failed by Ozpin's order, slavery and a huntsman turning a blind eye. Yang is a more personal variation of Ozpin's personal attention on Team STRQ. Raven is looking more and more like whatever had her leave was rooted in her disagreeing with Ozpin. She and Taiyang separating/not being partners was possibly to probably always on the table but her having no interaction with Yang instead of co-parenting or non primary caregiver? The disagreement over Ozpin with Qrow being Ozpin's man, Summer being a trusted agent until she suddenly stopped, and Taiyang (??? If he's done or doing anything for Oz but the fact the team being torn apart was specifically done by Raven is a bit telling to my mind given the cultist vibe with Ozpin. Has Raven made mistakes - yes. Drawing a line with Oz I suspect won't be one of them). If Ozpin made her and Qrow keys to the Vault without telling her and she only found out after she had Yang who would thus have hostage situation written on her forehead if it ever came out? Cause. If Raven was giving a Gretchen Spring Maiden sanctuary and lying that she had no clue where Gretchen was when everyone knows she had a bond to the girl (see speculation about Gretchen being the person the other side of the portal) - that could really tear a team apart. Summer joining Salem tips the collateral from the War in abstract to specifically Oz. Qrow wasn't around as much as he was needed because working for Oz as a spy. Taiyang... I have opinions about Taiyang but he's divisive so skipping over the past to volume 4. Port and Oobleck ask if he'll go after Ruby. IE - things aren't so bad that he can't. He says he's looking after "Things" as to why he hasn't. Yang takes things to mean her. If Things were actually the Vault... Taiyang is forced to let his barely recovered to "stable-ish" with a new prosthetic arm eldest daughter go after RWBY to guard the Vault. To do so even when the world congregates in Vacuo for a fight, even after his daughters presumably died in that fight. This gets WORSE if Qrow and Raven are additional keys to the Vault because he's superfluous in a way he isn't if Cinder having the Maiden powers means the only defenses left are him and secrecy. Which he wouldn't know because Oz is synonymous with self decorating secrecy. Yang is left taking care of Ruby in the ashes of team STRQ which are directly traceable to Oz.

Mistral heritage but not majority raised within

And that's all I got. Is there anything you'd like to add or disagree with?

yang's and cinder's recoveries in V4 are inverses of each other: watts and tyrian needle cinder mercilessly but salem tells them to cut it out while praising cinder to high heavens / port and oobleck give yang the patience and compassion she needs to feel comfortable expressing her feelings in spite of tai's very harsh "tough love" approach. there is also overt mirroring between cinder+salem vs yang+tai on at least two occasions off the top of my head:

<- these are non-arbitrary, with the first reflection being tai finally giving yang information about raven (which she's desperately wanted and been denied for years) vs cinder desperately wanting salem to do something that will fix the Ruby Problem and salem er, not doing that; and the second occurs after both tai and salem talk about yang's and cinder's failings before offering a hand, with the reversal being that tai faults yang and salem faults herself.

which suggests an interesting contrast between taiyang and salem in that he says he needs to take care of some stuff (implicitly, yang) and that's why he hasn't gone after ruby (implicitly, yet) but then after "some stuff" leaves he just… continues to stay home, versus salem talking a big game about leaving cinder to "toil in her isolation" for all of five minutes before dropping everything to rush to atlas with an army of grimm after finding out where cinder will be and that ozpin is back. what it means depends a bit on why tai is still hanging around patch but it's. something i ponder now and then. words vs deeds.

here's the og branwen keys theory, for posterity. i stand by it, although i think if ozpin did this he probably did not let the twins in on that detail and raven maybe figured it out herself—which would widen the fissure between her and ozpin in a big way and also makes sense as something she wouldn't dare tell anyone, because if salem finds out it paints a target on both her back and qrow's (and qrow is frankly not great at keeping secrets from family, even sober).

(regarding fenghuang, this is silly and not really textually relevant i just cannot let it pass without noting the minor detail that, bc raven has custody, tdt/burnt roses!yang's full name is yangwu branwen. for bird mcbird reasons.)

there is i think also something to the comparison between cinder's life in the glass unicorn and yang's childhood in that—while cinder's situation was certainly far more extreme—on the one hand, we have a young girl enslaved and forced to wait on her abusers hand and foot while the closets thing she has to a real parent trains her to fight in secret but otherwise doesn't lift a finger to help her, and on the other we have a young girl essentially co-parenting her younger sister while her mother watches over her as a bird which probably did keep yang safer than she would have been otherwise (<- i do not for a second believe raven wasn't in the regular habit of killing grimm who got too close to the cabin while tai was away) but is also equally if not more inadequate than how rhodes handled cinder.

if i'm right that summer is the stepmother in the cinderella narrative then yang's contextual role as one of the stepsisters is also complicated in an interesting way by summer being her stepmother too (esp. in conjunction with tai's favoritism of ruby and parentification of yang) and the multiple layers of twistiness rwby brings to the "evil stepmother" trope. though it remains to be seen exactly how that will shake out. (& as always i'm obsessed with the likelihood that summer has known cinder longer than she knew either of her actual daughters.)

i do question what tai is still doing in patch and if he actually has some sort of job that he's doing as opposed to perhaps being—similar to raven—soured on ozpin altogether and determined to stay out of it. it's definitely made clear that raven leaving and then losing summer too broke something in him and, while he was evidently involved with ozpin's circle before summer disappeared, no one connected to ozpin or salem has mentioned him in the present aside from the dig raven makes about him trusting ozpin Before. i wouldn't be… surprised if he's just been carrying on teaching at signal and refusing to get sucked back in to the vortex.

(<- & if that's the case his extreme passivity would also be in juxtaposition with salem)

this is all sort of scattershot but there's a lot of emotional and thematic confluences to chew on. i also think it's interesting that salem's quasi-familial relationship with cinder frequently is mirrored by or juxtaposed with father-daughter relationships (tai and yang, pietro and penny, ironwood as a surrogate fatherly figure to winter) given salem's own parental situation (mother dead in childbirth + abusive father who, reading between the lines of the fairytale, treated her like a replacement for her mother when he wasn't locking her away to punish her for 'killing' her mother) and consistent prioritization of cinder over her own plans. to the point that i sort of wonder if a conscious desire to not be her father plays into salem's decision-making wrt cinder in V8 at all

#much to think about. messily

[gallyl]

NBC Hannibal: Dogs and Dinners

There is a tv trope "adopt the dog", which helps us like a character and see their good side. Will's character exposition is clear: he saves a dog and cares for a big family of strays. The dogs manifest his good sides, humanity. However, we are also hinted at Will's repressed dark instincts, because domestic dogs are still animals that hunt and kill. They are pack hunters too, and Will's fighting pose in the finale is "on fours", "a wild dog". The domestic and the wild co-exist.

It would be unfair not to demonstrate a humane side of Hannibal during his introduction. We see him working as a psychiatrist. His job almost mirrors Will's job: Will is an empath who analyses psychopaths to put them in jail, and Hannibal is a psychopath who analyses normal people to help them fix their lives. But not all of his patients are actually recovering, and his approach is unorthodox. I don't think his job is a true reflection of his humane side. As in the case with Will, we should look into his house and see the his own character exposition, just as intimate, instinctual and double-sided.

It's his cooking. At first sight it's merely a depiction of his darkness. But if we break down the idea of cooking to the basic instincts (like with Will's dogs), we will feel Hannibal's humanity. For him, cooking is not only eating. It's feeding. And Hannibal likes to feed. Feeding is a paternal instinct, a social, protective behavior. And we have seen many times in the show that Hannibal has paternal instincts, likes socialising and can be protective not only on his behalf. Hannibal uses feeding for manipulation as well, yes, but even in those cases feeding people is his idea of creating connection and affection.

Here are a few examples. After Jack asks Hannibal in the first episode to be gentle with Will, Hannibal, the stag that he is, does the opposite: invades Will's hotel room uninvited and puts him on his antlers with compliments and home-made breakfast that fits Will's simple tastes. When Hannibal tries make Abigail attached to him, he cooks her "breakfast for dinner" and mushroom tea. He makes coffee for Will, when he's in hospital, makes soups to Will, when he's unwell. He likes when someone helps him in the kitchen.

Hannibal doesn't invite people for dinner only when encessary. He does it at every opportinity. He has many "friends" in cultural circles that he loves to entertain. And he feeds them human meat, which is rare and risky to get. There's cynicism in that behaviour but also a need to share and connect at a high cost. Hannibal is generous and hospitable.

Hannibal "likes to eat in a company" and yet it's never simply that. Extended cooking scenes, exquisite dishes and lavish dinners - too lavish even for a small gathering… He’s obsessed with cooking. It's a manifestation of his darkness... and aching humanity. Eating and feeding co-exist.

There may be some evidence to this in canon. In the book/movie “Hannibal rising” (both written/scripted by the original author of "Hannibal") little Lecter starved with Mischa during the war. Mischa was his first beloved human, and he became her parental figure after premature death of their parents. A special emphasis is made in the movie on Hannibal feeding her. His experience of hunger was not only about misery but also love and caring for another person and putting their needs above your own.

Will: Have you ever been a father?

Hannibal: I was to my sister. She was not my child, but she was my charge. She taught me so much about myself. Her name was Mischa.

Before the finale Bedelia says her famous line:

"Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes."

This line is a big box to unpack, but a big idea is that Hannibal is harmless now. He no longer needs to eat Will - or indulge into cannibalism with him - to connect. His love overpowers trauma and killer instincts. In the finale he does exactly what Bedelia predicted: he finds nourishment at the very sight of Will in his house, only sharing wine like in the good old days, and Will feels safe and protected in his presence. And this is a really nice touch to Hannibal's character development.

#hannibal is my favourite cooking show #obsession elevated to art #hannibal lector #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannibal meta #gally meta #hannibal