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#realized I identify as being a demigirl very recently
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Ok so I might sound kinda crazy but hear me out, do you ever feel like you're cis when you're transgender based on reality? I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense so lemme explain my situation to you a little bit but please be aware it's probably not gonna make much sense to anyone other than me and hopefully a few other people I guess? But whatever, anyways: So basically to start us off at the beginning, I've known I was somewhere on the transgender/genderqueer spectrum for like I think a few years now or atleast 1-2 if that's important and at first it was like I was fine with not being completly a girl, but at the same time it didn't feel like a big deal because I was still mostly a girl and I had the idea that no one would get mad at me if I just lived like a cis person when I actually felt like a demigirl or something related to that because I still liked being feminine while at the same time I wasn't completly female like my birth gender. Then, awhile later I realized I felt more boyish when it came to my gender identity, but at the same time felt more girly and felt my sexuality changing it's personal definition so I was like..."Yo wtf why am I getting so upset all of a sudden being feminine? I atleast thought it wouldn't be that bad" because on certain days I would get dysphoric but also be ok on other days. Keep in mind, this was around the time still where younger me was being influenced by the transmedicalist/truscum debate points that were more popular on the internet to say the least so it was obviously gonna be negative and cause me to push those feelings of mine aside for not wanting to be seen as a "trender" or someone fake or whatever. Ofcourse I would eventually grow out of that and realize with the internet that all trans people are different and that you don't have to pick between trans boy, trans girl and nonbinary" which was slowly turning into a binary at some point by cis people. Blah blah blah, eventually I decided that I was a trans dude(ftm) but also genderfluid which is sorta accurate today but I felt more bigender then when I identified as such than anything now so I don't know uhh. Why'd I bring up all this past gender and sexuality spectrum clutter again??Oh right, because I've been noticing changes with how I present myself atleast sorta recently. To keep it somewhat sane-sounding, for the past 4 months at the very least, while I do recognize that I am technically and realistically a trans boy due to being afab, at the same time for some odd reason, I keep feeling...like a cis-ajacent man for a lack of a better term? Like its not that I wanna be some sort of "pick-me" or whatever, far from it actually but like...I do identify with the label being ftm but at the same time apart of me doesn't because I already am a man despite not being like that at birth???I feel less like a trans guy and more like a feminine cis dude trapped in a mostly female body??I know it doesn't sound accurate to you all but I hope it somewhat can make sense later? Tbh it's better when explained verbally irl than like me attempting to write down a complicated experience of mine coherently. I don't wanna be a cis male either since they hurt so many people so there's that...
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dark-nymph3t · 3 months
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TW: trauma
Hey guys, this is very random but I have a couple of updates. First off, very sorry for not being active or responding to what is my ask box for the last couple days, I haven’t been great mental health wise so I haven’t been on tumblr a ton. I will try to get to everything within the next day or so.
1. I’ve had this on my intro post for a while, but I do identify as genderfluid. As of right now I feel most as home calling myself a demigirl but I am genderfluid. I have been for a while and just didn’t feel comfortable admitting to myself or others that I was. Pronouns are still they/she, this doesn’t really change anything.
2. I no longer identify as demisexual. I have identified as demisexual for a couple years, but recently I’ve realized that I’m not, I’m honestly just traumatized. I want to extend a huge thank you to everyone in the demisexual community for being so open and welcoming, you are still so valid no matter what. I honestly just need to come face to face with my trauma and develop a healthier understanding of intimacy.
Thank you so much for reading this, I hope everyone is doing well and happy new year. Your year deserves to be splendid and bright and full of what you love and makes you happy. Let’s also continue to fight and organize for our Palestinian, Sudanese, and Congolese siblings 🍉
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evillainist · 2 months
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does anyone else have like, super contradicting gender/sexuality labels? like i call myself a nonbinary transmasc demigirl and a lesbian (long post ahead)
i use transmasc VERY loosely here because i started transitioning at 13, and, in some ways, masculinity is integral to my identity, but i also do not identify as a man at all. i think the best, albeit still confusing, way to describe it is that i identify as somewhat masculine, but not in a man way
i think that part of the reason why i still keep transmasc as part of my labels is because i solely identified as a boy from when i realized i was trans after starting puberty (so at around 11) to when i realized i was nonbinary when i was around 17, and now i feel like i have to keep the transmasc label around for some kind of self (or honestly even social) validation of my transness. the discourse surrounding afab nonbinary people that’s been rapidly increasing recently definitely doesn’t help (for the record, they’re all valid). it’s really hard to accept myself when i see so many people invalidating people who have similar identities to me
my gender is so unstable and constantly shifting, but since i realized i was nonbinary, i’ve been slowly “reclaiming my femininity” for lack of better words. within the past month or so, it’s gotten to the point where i identify most strongly with femininity, but also nothing at all at the same time. being nonbinary, maybe agender, is the core of my identity, but i’m slowly becoming more comfortable with the idea of presenting and identifying as something girl adjacent recently. it feels different now that it’s something i want rather than something that was forced onto me from birth
don’t get me wrong, i do not regret transitioning, and i’m definitely not detransitioning. being trans is an integral part of my identity and that isn’t going away just because i’m finally able to embrace my femininity
me being a lesbian is something i’ve only started to realize and accept recently. i didn’t think it was okay for me to call myself a lesbian even though i’m a feminine-ish identifying person who is only attracted to women and feminine identifying nonbinary people
i hold myself to weird standards compared to everyone else. it’s self-hypocritical of me because i believe that transmasc lesbians are valid, he/him lesbians are valid, and so many other “contradictory” lesbian identities are valid, but me identifying as a lesbian? not valid. i’ve finally started to accept it and embrace it because i AM a lesbian, but there’s still that small part of my brain that’s like “you can’t be a lesbian”
this post is not just me seeking validation (although it would be nice because of how much my brain tries to convince me i’m not valid). i’m just kinda rambling/venting/ranting, whatever you wanna call it.
anyway, tldr; gender and sexuality are fucky. i’m kinda a girl, not in a cis way even though i’m afab. i’m just reclaiming my femininity, and if anyone is even reading this, i just want you to know that you’re valid
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aegosexual-moments · 1 year
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Hi, you reblogged a post recently about choosing your gender. Your tags said that you identify as a girl, not a women. I’m really interested as to what that kind of means - I didn’t realise that was an option!
That’s from this post below and I also received this question in a very similar wording about a half hour after this one. So I think it struck a cord with a lot of people whom might not have thought about it before.
The way I think of it, I, for the most part consider myself a demigirl. If I’m using specific label language. Otherwise just girl. I’ve been an official adult for way longer than I’ve realized, but I’ve felt this way for a long time.
Basically that I’m fine with being considered a girl but I don’t like/appreciate people looking at me and expecting women/female things from me. And I don’t like being considered a women. Which like I said, is complicated to explain to people. Where I’m expected to be thinking about becoming a mother, should be engaged or married by now, dressing in dresses and being professional and womanly. I don’t want to do any of that. And I want to actively reject it. I mean I wear a mix of clothing types, but almost always pants/shorts/sometimes dresses. But you can be any gender and wear dresses, obviously as long as you’re okay with some people thinking you’re “pushing an agenda” 🙄.
But I also know that with my chin to shoulder length hair, large boobs, and face that people are going to look at me and think “woman”. So I just get past that by reminding myself I’m a girl, not a woman. At least I wish my body could reflect that. But there isn’t an option to be neutral so I’m okay ish with being in a female body. Because I’m aego and not sexually active there’s no risk for my tokophobia (but with the events of the past year in the USA…)
Though obviously from the type of blog I run there is one part of my female body I’d be okay keeping lol so I’m not the “I want to be smooth” type of person so I typically don’t feel agender.
I’m still not really sure what I am/how to word what I feel but someone introduced me to word demigirl in 2020 ish and that’s felt pretty good.
Also received: wait if i may ask, is there a difference on being a girl and a woman? being called a woman feels weird, but i do feel comfortable being called a girl, but never exactly knew why? feel free to ignore this ask if it's too intrusive, thank you!
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axilarycobra · 9 months
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Jade Winglet LGBTQ+ Headcanons
Round 2! I was gonna do just the 2nd arc protagonists but I decided to put Kinkajou, Umber, and Carnelian in here cause why not. Arc 3 protagonists will be next.
Also, just a quick heads up, almost every single one of these characters is polyamorous which I pretty much just give to characters who I headcanon being in relationships with multiple dragons. I just want to say that I DON'T headcanon all of these characters to be in a relationship with each other. Some are, but not all of them, especially Peril and Umber (Umber isn't even polyamorous). I said in my last part that I'm saving the relationship headcanons for another time so I won't elaborate on who is with who, but nothing is illegal.
Moonwatcher
trans demigirl (she/they), bi, demiromantic, asexual, polyamorous
Moon has actually stuck quite a bit to my original hc for her which started out as just being demigirl and bi. Then, as I mentioned in my dragonet of destiny part, I started to experiment more with asexual and aromantic spectrum identities for characters and I think that attraction for Moon is very rare and even when she does experience it, it is only romantic. Also, I hopped on the trans hc because I see it a lot and I do like it, but I also still like them as a demigirl. And, also stated in the last part, the polyamorous hc comes along with the fact that I hc her to be in a relationship with multiple partners.
Winter
trans masc (he/him), gay, polyamorous
Winter has also kind of stayed true to my original hc. I think that I hced him as gay from the beginning, maybe bi at the start of me doing headcanons. One of the newer additions is him being trans. I knew that it was popular but it only started to grow on me until recently, probably having to do with me realizing I'm trans, I found that a lot of that came alongside each other. You guys should all know what the polyamorous means at this point I hope.
Peril
transgender/genderfluid (she/her/they/sun), lesbian, demiromantic, asexual, polyamorous
I was always on the "Peril is trans" theory, from the beginning. I don't know why but I always preferred that it would be her who is trans rather than Sky, probably because I just liked her more. For the longest time though, I hced that she was straight which didn't change until too recently. Recently, I started to hc Peril as genderfluid, again, probably because I started to identify as that. I also think that she generally identifies as trans, genderfluid is just the more specific version of that. I don't know when the lesbian hc started but I really started to like it because I saw someone else hc her as a lesbian. Similarly to Moon, I feel like Peril doesn't experience attraction often, and that it's not something that can happen with a dragon she doesn't have a super close relationship with.
Turtle
nonbinary (they/he/any), gay, polyamorous
From the beginning, I hced Turtle as demiboy (they/he), but I also started to like the idea that they went by all pronouns and didn't use too specific of labels, just going for nonbinary. I saw someone else hc them as gay and I liked it so that's where that came from.
Qibli
transmasc (he/him), bi, polyamorous
Another character who doesn't have too different of a hc than when I first started doing them. I feel like Qibli is either universally accepted as bi or pan (I mean, it's kind of canon, isn't it?). I didn't start hcing him as trans though until recently when the popular hc grew on me. Many trans hcs became a lot more popular to me after I felt like I could now relate to them.
Kinkajou
genderfluid (she/they/rain/mew/cae/any), pan, graysexual, polyamorous
Pronoun queen. I think Kinkajou was the first or second character I hced as using neopronouns (Sunny would be the other one but I forgot who came first). idk, I just think she'd use a lot of them. Kinkajou being pan is probably the literal most popular hc I would think. I also hc that she's on the asexual spectrum, I didn't really know where though, just, somewhere, not too far to one end or the other.
Umber
demiboy (he/they), gay
Now, Umber is confirmed gay and even if he wasn't, I would hc him as gay. I just hc him as demiboy because, idk, I like it.
Carnelian
transfem (she/her), lesbian, demisexual
I don't have a lot of good reasons for this, it was just what I believed when was making these hcs. I always hced her as lesbian but the demisexual came through during the acespec and arospec Renaissance and the trans hc is also recent.
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starlightrosari · 1 year
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I used to feel invalid for being nonbinary because of my lack of body dysphoria, but something I realized recently is that I do have dysphoria when I present ultra feminine, I just often forget I can have it because I’m so small that my body is already kind of agender in appearance. When I was a girl, I often found myself relating to trans women because I felt I had to work extra hard over other girls I’d see to pass as a beautiful woman, but now that I’m trying to look more masc leaning androgynous and identify as nonbinary, I find a similar struggle in looking masculine because my body isn’t particularly feminine or masculine. I have a chest, but it’s barely even A cup. And while my face isn’t super masculine, I can look like a boy pretty easily because of the shape of my face. In general my body is pretty pencil shaped without much to my figure. The most prominent things are my small hands, shoulders, short legs, and very small height. My voice even is naturally a bit deep (when I was young and identified as a girl I even would try to feminize my voice because I wanted to “pass” better). I do wish I were taller, but other than that it’s pretty easy to make myself look boyish, so I think it sort of makes sense that I don’t feel a need to transition because I already have a body that I’m comfortable with for the most part. I won’t feel invalid for something out of my control. The way I see it now is that I’m lucky for my trans body. If I had been developed more curvy or something, I might not feel this way, and then I probably would want to follow the standard transition pipeline. But right now, although it’s not the type of tall slender sexy androgynous male body I’d ideally want, I already essentially have a twink body and I accept that. I don’t feel I have to ID as less of a trans person for my lack of dysphoria, that rhetoric only confused me because actually as it turns out I don’t feel like a girl or a demigirl
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pawfulsofmischief · 2 years
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Hi Nova! (First of all, this is a side note, but my sister uses the name Nova too so I automatically just like you as a person now). So, now that I'm awake, alive, and not panicking, thought I'd come ask you an actual question. If you're willing, could you share how you settled on using demiboy as a label? And where you feel that fits in the agender spectrum for you? (If at all, I know a lot of places online say it's part of that spectrum but individual experiences might feel different than those very formal definitions you find easily online and personal experiences are what I'm more interested in hearing about)
I know this can't be true, but someone recently insisted to me that demigirls are all afab and demiboys are always amab. That seemed unlikely based on what I've been reading online but having someone who otherwise acted like they knew more about this stuff than me say that really turned me off from the label and the assumptions that maybe go along with it? Idk if that makes sense. I'm rambling again lol so I'm gonna stop and hit the ask button now...
-M (formally known as gender anon I guess though when Ollie said that I might have shrieked a little lol)
Hey M! I like your sister's style, very good tastes. 😘
I'm more than willing to explain~ This might get a little rambly myself, tho, so just a warning on that lol I'm going to put everything under a cut, just so it doesn't end up massively long for people not interested.
So, a lot of my exploration of gender and sexuality has come from me joining Fetlife, and more specifically the kink community, sometime in 2020. It introduced me to a lot more people who're outside the gender binary and helped me learn a bunch more labels that I didn't know about before. It's how I've learned I'm a demiboy, acearo, etc. I think it's a great community for people (over 18, obviously) to learn about all sorts of things from consent to gender. Kink doesn't have any actual bearing on gender and such, but the community is heavily LGBTQ+
Anyway, I came across the label demiboy sometime in the middle of last year, or there abouts. I had been starting to think that I could possibly be more enby than transboy because I found myself preferring a lot of more neutral terms alongside masculine ones. I started using a mix of he/they pronouns before I knew about demigender, but once I learned about how people can be 2 or more genders at once, it started to feel a bit more fitting than just nonbinary.
I started noticing that I somehow felt both like a boy, and like I wasn't either, at the same time. I dunno how to explain it really, but a part of me gets really excited when I'm called a boy, but another part gets really excited from more neutral terms and pronouns. At some point, I just found myself being really comfortable under the demiboy label. It wasn't like a sudden thing that just clicked into place, but I gradually began adding it to online profiles, messing with my pronouns, etc. I suppose a lot of it was also realizing that I'm perfectly okay foregoing any bottom surgery in the future, and literally the only reason I care about whether I get it is because I want to be able to stand and pee (I don't mess with stp packers because of the UTI chance with them).
Anyway, TL;DR. I learned about the label, it gave me the words to express how I felt, and it fell into place.
Now, as for what that person said. Completely wrong. Not only does that completely discount other demigenders, but its also pretty transphobic. Whether they meant that or not. Afabs can be demiboys (me) and amabs can be demigirls, it's all about what they feel and what they're comfortable with. Being demigender just means you identify as both one gender (boy/girl/nb/etc) and genderless. There is absolutely no connection between your agab and actual gender, unless you personally feel there is.
When it comes to gender, it is very much an individual experience for each person. That person was very much gatekeeping demi's for some reason. Labels are there to make people feel more seen, more comfortable. They are not hard defined lines that have qualifications you have to meet. The only gender that has any of those is being cis. I understand that person putting you off the term, but they're either just an arsehole, or have been taught gatekeepy things.
But, I will stop rambling now. I hope this helped! And if I didn't explain something enough, please ask about it. I sometimes miss the actual point I'm trying to make because I go on tangents lol
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5,6,10,20?
5. How long have you been using your current labels?
Honestly can't recall, Ik ive known I was pan like 4-5 years ago and ive only recently learned I was Demigirl.
6. What made you realize your current labels fit you?
I've noticed that like I never really cared much about the gender of the people I simped for and yet I have like a small aversion for dating irl and so after some research I kinda realized I was Pansexual Demiromantic
Demigirl, I just never really felt like completely like a woman, I hated being completely viewed as one, I hated being told to act like a lady, I just felt like half of me wasn't completely female. Im still sorta intertwined with my female self but I don't really wanna be associated completely with feminimity if you know what I mean
10. When did you realize you weren’t cishet?
Around the time I started to like reach my teen years and I started learning how to simp for people, I ended up simping for people that weren't men and I started just, like, not identifying myself fully as a girl when I was like very young, I can't recall the exact years but I know it was like a fairly long time ago
20. Are you out of the closet IRL?
No, but that's not cuz I live in a LGBT phobic homelife or anything, nor do I feel forced to be closeted, I just never felt like telling anyone unless they asked themselves cuz Ik regardless no one would care all thay much? I love someone regardless of their gender and I'm not fully a woman, why would anyone go apeshit over that?
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raeathnos · 3 years
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#gonna be real for a second#the main reason I’m hyperfixating on Loki?#I’ve been questioning if I was nonbinary for several years#realized I identify as being a demigirl very recently#I think I may also be bi or pan but like#I’m married and it doesn’t change anything so what’s the point right?#didn’t tell anyone but it’s kind of been bugging me because it’s who I am#finally told the husband about the demigirl part and he’s accepting which I knew he would be#he’s actually being really cute about it- anytime we’re in a store and there’s something pride related he’s like LOOK#I haven’t told any of my friends and idk if I’m going to#I feel like there’s really only one (and a cousin too) who would care#I’m not that close to a lot of people#I also haven’t told my parents and I think I’ve decided I’m not going to#our relationship has grown more and more strained recently and though I think they would be accepting#I don’t know for sure and I don’t want to strain things any further#but it hurts you know?#I’ve always kind of felt like they’ve never known me really#they’ve always swept the parts they didn’t like under the rug and presented this clean sterile version of who I am#we’d go to see relatives or family friends and I’d get a talking about how I needed to not be weird#because they were embarrassed of me#so like I feel like this would fall into the same category#I feel like we’d go to visit family or something and they’d be like they don’t need to know that you’re a demigirl#it kind of just all ties back into me being an inconvenience#it’s only ever been about how I’m a burden to them heh#so idk#the scene where Loki and Sylvie are talking about it is kind of comforting#it’s not a big deal it’s just part of the conversation#it was nice to see#it was nice to see a favorite character be able to openly say it and not hide who they are#meanwhile I’m over here hiding bits and pieces of myself because I’m so used to being seen as a burden
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lvlcurrent · 3 years
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Hi! I've been hanging around in your blog a long time and I really like all of your art. But I just came in to ask something about genders. I'm not sure if you'll see this but wanted to say recently I've been thinking of what I identify as and realized I don't see my self as make female or anything really. I was curious to know how did you know you were nonbinary? And when you learned what was it like? I've seen things that say when you feel what you are it feels right but going by he she or they doesn't seem anything right to me. I feel I might go by neoprounouns instead and I was curious to know what was it like for you realizing that you like going by they? It'd be nice to know your experience in learning about yourself and if you answer this then thank you very much! If not then that's ok and I don't mind. If this question is too personal for you to answer then feel free to ignore it. Either way I hope you're having a nice day/night and you drink lots of water. Make sure to take care of yourself! Love you! ❤️❤️❤️
This question is just fine don’t worry about it ^^ !
I can’t say that I instinctively knew I was nonbinary, but it was more thrown onto me because of circumstance. my journey with gender isn’t so glamourous, when I was younger I was never really treated as a girl by those around me, (of course there was a racial element to this ++ I was literally told by a friend that they didn’t see me as a girl so imagine that lead in lol) and from there I was just sent down into the gender exploration mines⛏ it was like “well this whole girl thing isn’t really working out for me so obviously I gotta be something else” it’s a sad lead in but it’s whatever now ヽ(´ー`)┌
I messed around with pronouns (she -> she/he/they -> she/they -> she/they +masc titles) and genders (girl -> girl..? -> ???? uh.? -> demigirl -> nonbinary) until landing at what I am right now so feel no need to rush into understanding yourself!! ignorance is bliss and knowledge is power so as long as you’re comfortable with who you are there’s no need to compartmentalise your identity. Even now I don’t really acknowledge myself being nonbinary that much, I only really see it in a” technically yeah” sense😋💦
If you feel like none of the more traditional pronouns work for you then for sure look into neopronouns, do what works best for you!
I hope I was able to help ++ don’t stress to much about it! enjoy your gender journey🎉💝💐
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dog-teeth · 3 years
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I asked this question before but I think it got eaten plus I wanna add to it anyways because. Oversharing to strangers online woo hoo
How did you figure out you were genderfluid? I'm an AFAB nonbinary but I'm still feminine leaning (I have trauma with he/him pronouns and being called a boy cause I got bullied for looking like a [t slur]) and go by they/them and suffer a lot of dysphoria at times, but sometimes I dont feel much dysphoria if at all and feel much more comfortable with she/her. I worry that if I say I'm gonna try to use she/they pronouns everyone will just call me a she/her and assume I was lying even though I'd prefer they/them in most settings... I dunno I also just struggle with validation or just knowing these things so lmk if this sounds like. Genderfluid stuff or if I'm just overthinking JFNDIFNW
being nonbinary is different to each person, and so is being genderfluid. i think people often forget that being nonbinary is not one monolithic, completely-androgynous gender. it’s definitely normal to have your dysphoria fluctuate, both in how intense it is & how it affects your gender presentation (like pronouns). you don’t have to use the label of genderfluid just because you feel dysphoria differently at different times and use different pronouns at other times. that’s normal and fine for any nonbinary person. but that also is a genderfluid thing, and if you identify with the label, and you think it helps you explain yourself, go ahead and use it!! that’s fine!! labels serve the purpose of helping people explain how they feel, both for self-understanding and to communicate with other people. you’re free to use no labels, or try different ones out, it’s fine if you don’t want to use them later! your description does seem like you could be genderfluid, & remember that both genderfluid and nonbinary are umbrella terms and highly individual experiences, so however you feel & relate to them is fine! there’s also words like demigirl (gender between or mixing female and nonbinary) & genderfae (genderfluid but never feeling masculine/male-aligned). but anything you want to use to call urself is fine!
as for pronouns, i know it’s hard to feel confident in asserting your identity and how you want other people to refer to you, but it’s totally fine to use both sets of pronouns and speak up about what makes you most comfortable. people who respect you will do their best to use your pronouns and won’t think you’re lying or faking. if they do, they’re transphobic, and you don’t need their understanding or approval to be valid. it’s ok to have a complex relationship with gender and presentation.
personally, i started leaning more into the genderfluid label when i realized i had been trying to find the right label for myself for years and none of them felt completely right, and i felt very differently at different points in time, both in the long-term and short-term. i felt like i could never pin it down. i still don’t even identify 100% as genderfluid - i’m too genderweird to feel fully explained by one label, or even multiple! i also use the terms genderqueer, agender, genderfaun, & trans, and i also feel like none of these words fully describe my gender, and trying to use words for it doesn’t always work. the way i feel gender and dysphoria changes a lot (although its been more consistent recently, but i don’t trust it to stay in one place too long), and what i want for my gender presentation / for how ppl perceive me also changes, again this is a general nonbinary thing and a genderfluidity thing.
tldr; you could be genderfluid and this is also normal for nonbinary people and u can do whatever u want
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sammys-magical-au · 3 years
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Since it’s 🌈 Pride Month 🌈 here’s my Torchwood identity headcanons!
Gwen is bi, but she also like using the Pluralian flag bc of the pretty indigo color
Rhys is heteroflexible
Tosh used to id as bi, but after a while the label seemed to fit less and she went online to research mspec sexualities. She found the definition of polysexual and thought it fit her better. The team was very supportive and Sam bought her a ply flag (as well as a bi flag for Owen) for that pride month
Ianto is and never has been certain of his identity. At first this used to stress him out to the point where thinking about attending a pride parade nearly reduced him to a panic attack. But slowly, as he got more comfortable with himself (thanks to Jack and the others) he came to realize that having no identity/being uncertain about your identity is just as valid as being completely certain of it. He now identifies as questioning.
Jack uses the omnisexual label because he likes the way it sounds and how the flag colors are different from other mspec flags.
Jack is also intersex
Ianto recently came out as nonbinary and now uses he/him pronouns as well as they/them. He came out to Sam first and she almost cried of joy over the fact that she had a fellow gnc buddy.
The whole team founded an mspec alliance club a couple months ago
Sam and Jay have both had a basic understanding of their identities for a while now, Sam being pan and genderqueer, and Jay being a demisexual demigirl. They were the ones who invited the team to their first Saint Lucian pride parade
Happy Pride Month Everyone!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
Hey there headcanon policers! I see you! The assholes who wanna be like “this post is BiPhObIc!!! It’s ErAsUrE!!!!!!” Just get out. Nobody wants to listen to you and if my opinions bother you that much just block me. Also never go outside again bc it’ll be hard for you to live in the real world, where everyone has their own opinion all the time 😱
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if you could help me... because we might be similar idk... what does it mean to be more or less "girl-ish" ?? that is how I want to call myself, but then when I think on it i feel too much like I'm putting expectations on what "girl" even means, like between stereotypes and just the average girl, which shouldn't define it. But then when I get rid of those, unless I make it about body or enough estrogen or something, I've got nothing. It means nothing. So????? how can i figure out what it means
Hey anon, thanks for asking! First of all, I want to say that there is no wrong way to gender. What I mean by that is that there are no criteria for you to call yourself a girl, or a demigirl, or girlflux, or genderqueer, or agender, or non-binary, or whatever label you want to use. You don’t have the check any boxes, you don’t have to worry about why you want that label, the only thing that matters is that that label feels comfortable for you. You don’t even have to have a label if you don’t want one.
I had a super similar experience with being worried that the reason I didn’t quite feel fully female was just because I didn’t fit the stereotype of what the “average girl” should be. I thought that I only didn’t feel female because the world had narrowed my view of what femininity should be. I had enough guilt and doubt about it that I tried to ignore it for two and a half years and just recently started letting myself look more closely at my gender again. Ultimately, I realized what I said in the first paragraph— I don’t have to justify to myself why I feel a certain way or want a certain label, all that matters is that it feels comfortable to me.
Here’s a bit about my experience, as an example, but keep in mind that experiences with gender are very individual and this is by no means a good representation of every “girl-ish” person out there:
I feel more comfortable when I’m presenting somewhat androgynously. I like sweatpants and t-shirts for casual wear, and would prefer dress pants and a polo or button-down shirt for fancy clothes. I really don’t like dresses. Long skirts are.. ok, but I don’t prefer them. I have some dysphoria about my chest and greatly prefer clothes that make it look flat.
I’m perfectly fine with the terms “sister,” “daughter,” “girlfriend,” etc. being used for me. (I’m also ok with their gender-neutral counterparts.) I like my birth name even though it is feminine. I am cool with both she/her and they/them pronouns. (I recommend the pronoun dressing room to see what name and pronouns feel comfortable for you!)
For me, my experience with gender is a very personal thing. I haven’t come out in real life and I don’t feel like I need to. Most of the things I do to affirm my gender are things that I don’t need help from anyone else to do— my clothes, how I cut/dye my hair, and hopefully getting a binder soon. I don’t care enough about people using she/they for me to constantly bug people in real life to use my they/them pronouns, too, so I don’t. Some people do care a lot, and that’s ok too! That’s their personal experience and they deserve to have their pronouns respected.
For me, I identify as somewhere between female and agender (no gender at all). Other “girl-ish” people may identify as somewhere between female and male, as sort-of female and sort-of non-binary, or really anywhere on the gender spectrum that includes some girl-ness. There’s no wrong way to be “girl-ish.” 
Remember: It is not your responsibility to get rid of stereotypes or change how the world sees what it means to be a girl. You are not harming anyone by being not quite a girl. It is not your responsibility to clearly define the boundaries of what it means to be a girl or not a girl. (I doubt even professional gender scholars could do that!) All that matters is that the way you identify feels comfortable to you. You don’t even have to label it if you don’t want to, but if you do, there are some possible labels up in the first paragraph that you can google or ask me more about.
PS: Your presentation, your pronouns, and your gender identity don’t all have to match! Your gender and how you present it is for you, not anyone else, and all that matters is that you feel good about it.
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lexgivesgayadvice · 3 years
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hi lex!!! i’ve recently been doing some gender questioning, and i was hoping you could help! so, i was assigned female at birth, and up until a month or two ago, i hadn’t questioned my gender at all. but now i am, and i’m struggling a lot. part of the problem is pronouns. he/him is a definite no, it feels ridiculous on me. they/them just feels distant, far away from who i am. same with neos and other pronouns. she/her are the pronouns i used to be so, so comfortable with. now though, whenever someone uses she/her pronouns for me, i...wince? its like a tug in my stomach. it doesn’t feel great. i don’t know whats going on. i don’t want to use any other pronouns. i feel like my own brain is dragging me out of being a girl, kicking and screaming all the way. i hate this. i want to go back to how i used to be, back when being a girl was something i would never ever let go of. i don’t want to be anything else. and the thing is i feel like this is kinda something i’ve constructed in my own brain, because sometimes people use she/her and i don’t even blink until like 5 seconds later. i don’t want to be a boy, or non-binary. i want to be a girl, and be happy like that without tensing when my dad calls me his daughter (it used to be my favorite thing in the world). also i can’t tell if i actually don’t like it or if it’s just something arbitrary that i’ve crafted in my head (i’m very good at subconsciously influencing my own thoughts and then not being able to stop thinking about them). anyway sorry for the rant, but any help?
Hello my lovely gender questioning anon!! This sounds so tough, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm gonna be honest, I don't really know what to say. I know all too well how easy it is to overthink things, but you also shouldn't invalidate your feelings by saying "oh I'm just overthinking everything." This sounds very real and worthy of your attention to make you comfortable in your identity!
Some of the things you've said sound very familiar to me. I started questioning my gender and feeling like feminine terms and pronouns were getting rejected by my brain, but other pronouns didn't really solve the problem. I eventually decided to use she/they pronouns and identify as demigirl, which means that I'm connected to being female but I'm not entirely female. What's the part that's not female? For me, I think I'd have to say it's agender. So basically I'm part girl and part genderless void, which is cool!
I say all this to help you realize just how many options there are for you. It's not just male, female, or nonbinary - there are endless possibilities of how you can describe your gender, and if you haven't already done so I encourage you to do some research and familiarize yourself with the wide variety of terms and experiences out there!
It's beyond my capability to tell you what you are or might be, but here's what I do know: since I've started identifying as demigirl, I feel more comfortable with feminine language being used to describe me, because I have a better understanding of how that represents my identity, even if it's an incomplete representation. I'm not out and I only use she/her pronouns irl, but it's still been a weight off my shoulders that I know who I am. I'm not saying you're demigender or any particular label, but I hope that working to define what you do feel and not just your longing to go back to the days before you started questioning your gender will help you understand yourself, which can then inform how you choose to present yourself to other people.
Anon, I hope that is helpful, and I wish you the best of luck in your gender questioning journey. Feel free to write back and let me know how it goes - I know it's a long and tedious process, but I hope you'll end up happier and more confident on the other side! 💚🌈
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river-witchery · 3 years
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Just me having some gendery thoughts tonight folks~
When I first started the whole questioning my gender thing, the first label I fell into was "demigirl." It was a comfortable stepping stone into realizing that I am very much Not A Girl. I was much too afraid, I think, to say I was wholly nonbinary—that, at the time, felt like a dangerously close stepping stone to accepting I was trans (news flash and reminder—demigendered peeps, you are trans enough to use that label, it's okay, and I love you all).
I was also, at the time, presenting very femme. I think it was in an attempt to "prove" to myself that I was cis. Or at least that I was enough of a girl to not feel uncomfortable presenting as one. This, uh, did not work (and I've come to understand that this is a trend among us trans folk).
Actually, in retrospect, it completely and utterly backfired. I had to completely change my style, my wardrobe. I experienced very bad dysphoria. All of this was compounded by the fact that my health was getting worse and worse, so I had to change the clothes I wore for my physical comfort, as well as for my dysphoria.
I am now at the happy realization that I am very nonbinary. I'm very genderqueer (and just queer in general). Dressing more androgynously helps my dysphoria, and I like fucking with the notions of gender presentation. I want top surgery and I am not completely averse to going on T temporarily (but I am not sure if I actually want that or not yet).
But, as I am who I am, I like to question and explore. There was another reason I identified so strongly with the demigirl label, and it's because it helped describe an experience I was definitely having.
Now, for me, being a demigirl meant I partially identified with womanhood. The other part was me identifying with being nonbinary or agender or something else. I wasn't entirely sure at the time. But on top of that, I could tell that my gender seemed to fluctuate.
And that last part, that's the part I've been thinking about. Because I definitely am not a woman. I have come to terms with that. But I put the fluctuating bit on the back burner and kinda ignored it until recently.
So yeah, I'm nonbinary for sure. I am genderqueer for sure. I am also sometimes very agender. And then sometimes... transmasc? I am still coming to terms with that I think. There is definitely some sort of fluctuation to my gender experience.
I think maybe I am afraid, in the same way I was afraid to say I was trans, to say I'm transmasc. There's this pushing question in the back of my mind of, "just how masc are you?" And I guess that is something to explore, even if it is a little scary.
Well, that was gender thoughts with me. I feel better writing it all out. If you read all this, thanks! Also, wow, you must have the concentration of a god to get through that wall of text.
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starlightrosari · 3 years
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Nonbinary labels for my gender
Genderfluid, agenderflux, librafluid, demifluid.
These labels explain my relationship to gender, with genderfluid working as an umbrella term for my gender being one which is fluid or changing and not static.
However, my gender is always partially nonbinary, which is why I also like more specific labels like the other few is because they specify that I never feel entirely binary.
Nonbinary, agender, gender neutral, stellarian, genderqueer, demigender, neutrois, androgyne, ningender, demienby
These labels explain my static gender of nonbinary. I sometimes feel partially nonbinary and another part something else, and other times I feel entirely nonbinary.
Figuring out what label describes my neutral feelings best is complicated, so I haven’t decided if I’m more agender or an in between gender, but I’m working on that understanding and these labels all work for different reasons.
Demigirl, librafeminine, lunarian, fem enby, fingender, girlflux
These labels explain my fluid feminine gender. I think I may feel feminine at different intensities depending on the time, but I always feel somewhat nonbinary, and I rarely feel more female then nonbinary.
Each of these labels explain a different feeling of femininity. Demigirl (for me) is for feeling more girly or maybe even part girl, lunarian is for when I feel mostly nonbinary but with a twinge of femininity, and girlflux is to identify my fluctuating intensities of feeling like a girl when I’m fluid on the fem side.
Demiboy, libramasculine, solarian, masc enby, mingender
These labels are for my fluid shift to masculine enby feelings. I never feel I am a boy, but I sometimes feel a connection to masculinity, either through feeling partially like a boy or just neutral but masculine.
I only just recently discovered my masculine feelings of gender and they’re more rare than my feminine gender feelings. My feelings of dysphoria or euphoria and of being partially a boy are always week, so it’s hard to pinpoint when I’m feeling it, but like my feminine feelings, they come and go.
Bigender (demigirl and demiboy), pangender
These are also new and rare feelings, but I realized sometimes I feel masculine and feminine genders all at once while simultaneously still feeling a bit neutral gender. These labels are for when I feel more genders then usual.
Figuring out I could sometimes feel three genders at once was confusing because I thought for so long I was either demigirl or agender, so I didn’t explore masculinity much or feeling many genders at once and on top I tried to find one perfect label for my gender, but realizing my gender is fluid has given me freedom to feel gender, no matter how weak that feeling is. As it turns out, being fluid with a static gender of enby means I can sometimes feel boyish girlish and nonbinary all at once. It’s very fun when that happens.
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