#read ‘it ends with us’ and ‘ugly love’ this month and my heart couldn’t handle it

[rickmandowneyjr]

Cuts to Cope

Angst, fluff Pairing: Severus Snape and Student!Reader (platonic) Warning: talk of self-harm, mentions of character's death Word Count: 2348 A/N: This is a little piece I wrote a while ago but didn't know if I should post or not. After re-doing certain bits, I decided to upload it. Hope it's not too difficult to read. As always, the ending is a little abrupt and not too detailed, leaving it sort of up to y'all as well :) Sorry if there are any typos (I only ever get the time to write when it's quite late nowadays)

Yet another day at Hogwarts - waking up at 6:30 am, showering, getting dressed in your robes, and heading to breakfast. Wishing everyone you passed a good morning, wearing your signature smile as you did.

You were a 7th year, one of the few returning ones after last year's incident with Cedric Diggory. He'd been your best friend, or at least that's what people thought. Cedric Diggory and you had been dating for the last 7 months before his death. You didn't want anyone knowing because being star students meant eyes prying into every aspect of your relationship.

People praised you, a model student and now, prefect, who set an example. An example of how to be strong and cope no matter what life threw at you. Little did they know, you harboured a little secret. A dark, horrifying, and disturbing secret that would never let anyone look at you the same way if they ever found out.

Your first class for the day was Potions. You were a brilliant student, especially at Potions, yet Snape still had something against you. You didn't take it personally, though; he wasn't really fond of anyone. You walked into class, taking your regular seat at the front. Snape walked into class a little while later, slamming the door behind him, commanding everyone's attention.

"Turn to page 420," he drawled. You opened the book to find the recipe for Amortentia. Your heart felt a tug at the name of the love potion, never having been able to find out the answers with Cedric.

Snape's deep voice brought your focus back to class as he said, "Since it takes a week to brew, I've already completed most of the process. All you need to do is the last day's work," making the class sigh with relief. "However," he continued, "The last day of brewing is crucial and not easy. So, I expect your attention to be fully on the task at hand."

You began brewing the potion, following the steps perfectly. Snape sat down to grade papers as the class worked. He looked at you and said, "Ms. [L/N], roll up your sleeves while you work. I'd hate for there to be mishaps in my class because of one student's carelessness."

You hesitated, but then did as asked. You weren't the best at wandless magic but had made sure to perfect this spell solely for such instances. As you rolled your sleeves, you subtly waved your hand over your forearms, mumbling, "Illusiont," and casting the disillusionment charm.

You saw Snape narrow his eyes at you and panicked for a second before you saw him shake his head and return to grading. Breathing a sigh of relief, you returned to the task at hand and continued brewing.

After a while, you'd finished, and were the first one to have done so. Snape walked over to your desk and took a whiff of the potion, raising an eyebrow before giving you a single nod of approval, letting you know that it was perfect. Once everyone was done, he walked around, starting at the back, and asked everyone to announce what they smelled. You hadn't smelled your Amortentia yet and hadn't planned on doing so either, feeling quite relieved when Snape hadn't asked that question earlier.

Your heart rate quickened as you began to worry about how your body and mind would react to smelling it. You couldn't do it last year, since the Triwizard tournament had led to a bunch of classes being cancelled. As you thought about how excited you had been at the prospect of sharing the experience with Cedric, Snape's voice pulled you back to your potions class.

"Ms. [L/N]."

"Yes, sir?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "What. Do. You. Smell," he spoke, irritation evident in every word.

You swallowed hard as you leaned forward to inhale the scent. Your pupils dilated, your heartbeat quickened and your knees threatened to give out at the all-too-familiar fragrance. Your throat went dry as you stopped the tears from forming.

"Well? We haven't got all day, class is to be dismissed soon." He raised an eyebrow at you, asking you to hurry up since you were the last one.

With every ounce of energy, you calmed yourself and stopped your voice from wavering. "Old books, butterscotch and... vanilla," you sighed. Your breathing was erratic and you knew you needed to get out of class and get to the abandoned girls' washroom.

As if on cue, the bell rang, dismissing the class. Snape gave you an odd look and was about to ask you what was wrong but you had already gathered your belongings and were marching out the door. He decided to follow you since he'd never seen you act like that before and was wondering what had happened to you all of a sudden.

You made your way up the stairs, hurrying before you had a breakdown in the middle of the hallway. As you reached the washroom, you started rummaging through your bag since the hallway was empty. You took the small blade that you carried around out, pushing the door to the bathroom open.

Snape's POV

I followed her out of the classroom. Though not my favourite, [Y/N] was an incredible witch and this wasn't normal behaviour for her. She'd marched out before I had even dismissed class which concerned me even more, given her usually 'perfect' behaviour. She paced through the hallways and up the stairs so fast that I could've sworn she was moving around faster than I did on a normal basis. There was an urgency in her stride and I don't know why, but it concerned me.

She finally turned into the hallway leading to the girls' washroom on the third floor, which was odd. No one used this, as far as I was aware. I was a little embarrassed, considering I'd just followed a young girl to a washroom. In an isolated area, at that. I swear I never would've imagined myself going even further and following her in, but what I'd seen had shocked and concerned me enough to do just that.

End of Snape's POV

As you entered the bathroom, you had missed Snape, whose eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. [Y/N] [L/N], the golden girl of Hogwarts, had just walked into an abandoned washroom after pulling out a blade from her bag. Not wanting to jump to any conclusions, he rushed in, wanting to confirm what his eyes had just seen.

As you were about to enter a stall, the door to the bathroom, swung open, making you jump. You hid the blade by making a fist, unintentionally cutting into your palm. You winced at the unexpected pain but didn't let it show.

You turned to face Professor Snape, and he was eyeing your hand. 'There's no way he saw it, is there?' you thought.

"Ms. [L/N], care to show me your hands?"

You panicked. He knew. You tried to divert his attention. "Sir, this is the girls' washroom."

"I'm aware," he stated. "Now... Hands," he said as he glared at you, letting you know that he wouldn't fall for any attempts to change the subject.

You sighed and opened your hands, and saw his gaze soften. He walked to you taking your hand in his as he gently pulled the razor out. You winced as it came out, knowing this would impair you for the rest of your classes.

"What were you thinking?!" He scolded, startling you. He reached for your arm, rolling up your sleeves once again and muttered, "Finite."

The scars on your arms started showing up and you couldn't do anything but look away, your eyes resting anywhere but his gaze.

"So that was the Disillusionment Charm I heard you use, earlier."

You stayed silent, still refusing to meet his eyes. Of all the professors, it had to be him. Sure, he wasn't fond of you, but you had immense respect for the man, and to let him see you in this light... it took every bit of you to not lose your composure.

"Look at me," he said.

You turned to face him. His usually cold eyes showed too much concern and the uncharacteristic response from the potions master was proving to be a lot to handle. Tears stung your eyes as he stared at you.

"Why?" He asked, his voice so genuine that you couldn't help but let your emotions spill, creating a mess that you couldn't be bothered to care about anymore.

"I can't do this anymore," you sniffled. "I don't want to. He was everything to me and it just hurts so much."

"Who?"

"Cedric."

"Ah, yes. I'm aware you and Mr. Diggory were best friends. I'm sorry, [Y/N]."

"No," you said, finally being able to talk to someone about it. "He was my boyfriend. And... I never got to tell him I loved him... because I wasn't sure. Today just made it worse when I smelled him in my Amortentia. It confirmed that I did and I never got to say it." You were sobbing now, not caring what you looked like, what a mess you probably were, or what Snape was thinking of you and your confession.

You felt him awkwardly wrap his arms around you as he pulled your head to his chest. Your cries got louder and your wails of agony echoed in the empty washroom as your hands clutched the fabric of his robes. The feeling of someone comforting you was overwhelming. You'd always had to keep up this image of a perfect student, reliable friend, someone who could never have such horrifying tendencies.

Even then, as you cried out loud, your instinct made you bury your face in his chest, muffling the 'ugly' sobs. Snape's heart broke as your thoughts flooded his mind. As you struggled to breathe, he turned your head slightly, making you audible again. He didn't hush you; just stroked your hair as your tears soaked his robes.

It took a while, but you finally calmed down, your sobs reducing to soft whimpers before they died out entirely. Your throat was sore, and lips, chapped from all the crying. Your eyes were red and puffy, and the reality of the situation finally came crashing down on you.

Your secret was out. More than one, at that. One of the professors knew, and the strictest one too. You had just spent Merlin knows how long crying into his chest, which was now soaked with your tears.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, your voice, hoarse. "Your robes are all wet now," you said, trying to move away.

"That's the least of my worries right now," he said, keeping your head in place as he continued, "I understand what you're going through. Better than you'd know." It sounded like it was painful for him to talk about it, the tone of his voice giving the vulnerability away. "But this is not the way to deal with it," he said as rubbed your back.

"Does it go away?"

"I'll be honest," he sighed. "It does get lesser with time if you allow yourself to heal. However, it never goes away entirely. A part of you will always love and miss him. I'm sorry," he said.

"No, I'm glad. I don't want to forget him. Or my love for him. Cedric Diggory was and will always be - my first love."

You finally pulled away from his chest and looked him in the eyes as he gave you a gentle smile. You managed to muster a somber one and sighed.

"Do any of your friends know?"

"Merlin, no!"

"Why not? They're your friends. They could-"

"I can't have this getting out. Everyone will-"

"Who cares what people think?" He raised his voice. It was silent for a while before he sighed and spoke again.

"[Y/N], I want you to promise me something."

You knew what was coming. You gulped and nodded softly.

"I want you to promise me that you'll stop this. Cedric wouldn't want this for you."

"I know, and I've tried before. It's not that simple-"

"I know," he said, cutting you off. "Which is why, the next time you get the urge to do this, you'll come to me. No matter what the situation might be."

You were surprised at his words. It was incredibly nice of him to offer this to you, and you nodded, accepting his generosity.

"Also," he continued, "Please stop going to such great lengths to please others and worrying about what others think. It's not healthy."

"But-"

"But nothing. Your health is suffering and you can't even bring yourself to tell anyone because you're so busy keeping up this little charade of 'everything is fine'."

You stayed silent. There was truth in his words and you couldn't refute his accusations. You just looked up at him, once again, finding the uncharacteristic concerned look meeting your gaze. Nodding softly, you agreed. How could you not when someone had shown you such consideration and compassion?

A small smile graced his usually stoic face as he helped you up, and you both made your way out of the bathroom. He escorted you back to your dormitories, ensuring you were alright before the two of you parted ways.

The rest of the school year passed and Snape stayed true to his word, and you to yours. Every time you felt the urge to hurt yourself to relieve the pain, you'd find Snape. He was patient and helped you every step of the way. Slowly, but surely, you were able to overcome your urges and also found yourself living for yourself, rather than up to others' expectations.

By the time you graduated, you had overcome the habit and thanked Snape in your graduation speech, never giving away the details as to why. A lot of people had assumed there was something between the two of you, especially since you went to meet him all through the school year, but you didn't let it bother you, because... Who cares what people think, right?

-

P.S. - Sorry I've been a little slow with the writing. My college assignments have started rolling in and I'm currently swamped. Also, I'm working on a little something (announcing it in 2-3 days so make sure to check in lol). Rest assured, I'm slowly and steadily making my way through requests. Thank you for understanding <3

#severus snape #severus #snape #severus snape x reader #severus snape and reader #severus x reader #snape x reader #pro snape #snapedom #severus snape fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #hp #hp fanfiction #snape fic #alan rickman #alan #rickman #alan rickman x reader #rickmaniac #angst with a happy ending #angst with a hopeful ending #rickmandowneyjr

[idy-ll-ique]

My Little Secret.

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Innocent!F!Reader

Genre : Fluff, little bit of Angst

Warnings: none

Requested: nope

Summary: Y/N listens to music 24/7 on Spotify. At first Ransom is irritated, but now he knows just how to use the application to his benefit. I mean, come on, it can't be considered stalking if it's his wife, right?

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! oml a ransom drysdale fanfiction 😳 if I ever meet this asshole in real life I'd sock him in the jaw but in fiction? mamma mia. enjoy!

---

Does she really love an app more than me?

Ransom scoffed to himself as he opened his laptop, clicking on the music app, Spotify. He rarely used it, but his wife was obsessed with it. She listened to music 24/7; singing along to the soft tunes in her playlists while working, reading, cleaning, cooking, anything. Ransom thought it was insane how submerged she was in the activity.

Until that activity gave him an upper-hand in their relationship.

When he had first opened the app on his laptop, he was a tad bit surprised at the "Friends Activity" feature. He saw her account. Then, as more months passed, he started noticing how when she was happy, she'd always be listening to some happy playlist, when she was sad she'd be listening to sad songs, et cetera. And he started using it to his advantage.

Now, everyday before leaving his office he'd check the app to see what playlist she was listening to. If it was a happy, dance playlist, well and fine. But a sad one? Ransom's mood would also sour because my darling is not feeling okay. While going home, he'd buy something for her; mostly flowers or chocolates, or a nice little trinket that he'd find in the displays of shops that he thought his wife would enjoy.

He never told her about it. What he was doing would be considered stalking but come on, is it stalking if she's your wife? As the app finally loaded, his eyes immediately strayed to the Friends Activity and his heart clenched when he saw her listening to her sad playlist that she had named Melancholy. Sighing, he turned off the laptop and left his office for the night.

As he drove back home, he stopped outside a flower shop and bought an adorable little bouquet of mixed flowers. "She'll love it," the florist assured him, assuming he was buying it for his significant other. He gave her a quick smile and got back into the car, driving home as fast as he could. When he reached home, his heart broke at the sniffle he heard.

"Kitten?" Y/N's head shot up at her husband's voice as she hurriedly wiped her tears, getting up from her spot on the couch. "Hi, welcome home," she whispered, giving him a quick peck on the lips, smiling widely to avoid being caught. "Hello, how was your day?" He wanted to sigh, to chide her for keeping her bad mood from him, but he only smiled at how cute she looked trying to hide her true feelings.

"It wasn't bad! So, shower first and dinner later or dinner first?"

Now was the time. "Kitten, the truth, please. How was your day?" He raised a stern eyebrow when her face fell. How does he always read me so well? Knowing she couldn't hide now, she hung her head low as her shoulders sagged. "It was bad," she muttered. Ransom pulled her close, her head resting on his chest, his chin atop her head. "What happened? I swear if it's those fucking coworkers of yours—"

Her silence gave him the answer. The thing is, when Ransom and Y/N had started going out, everyone in the city was shocked. A cute, innocent little thing like her dating an asshole like him? Why? She had lost quite a few friends when she told them, but Ransom was there for her. "You don't need them, you have me." He was right. While the world saw him as a first-class jerk, he was the softest soul with her.

Her priorities were always placed before his. He took care of her, treated her like no previous boyfriend of hers had, and within 2 years of dating, he had proposed. People were even more shocked. She managed to get him to settle down?! How?! Then the gossip began. "He has to be cheating, I mean look at him. Look at her," she had heard one time after the engagement. That had made her super upset.

"Ransom, they're talking… someone said you were cheating on me…" She had broken down on his chest that night, crying her eyes out. And Ransom had immediately switched off the television. He sat up, holding her close. "You know I'd never do that, angel. Why would I, when you're with me? Do you really think those women out there have the same effect on me that you do? Huh?"

"Well, they said… they said I was ugly."

"What?! Those fucking whores—"

"Ransom, don't call them that," she had chided, swatting his chest. He caught the hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each fingertip. "If it makes you feel better, no, I'm not cheating on you. I love you a little too much to do that. You mean the world to me, Y/N, there's no one on this planet I'd rather be with than you. And you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen, in and out," he told her sincerely.

Her crying ceased. "Thank you." And he held her close the entire night, rubbing her back as she slept on him. People talking about him? He could handle that, God knows he had been handling that for years. But them talking about her? His perfect, angelic, goddess-like fiancée? No, no, he wouldn't handle that. That whole thing was 4 years ago. People still talked.

"What did they say to you, Y/N?" he asked, coming back to the real world.

"They asked me why I was still with you." He exhaled loudly through his nose when Y/N's arms tightened around him. "I told them I loved you. You are nice, you're not what everyone says you are. But then Amy talked about… about how you used to be— what was the word she used? Oh, uh, yeah, she said you were something of a Casanova before you met me. But I told her that was over."

His arms snaked around her waist, his fingers gently dancing over her hips as she continued speaking. "She insisted that people can't just change over a small period of time. I tried ignoring her but then she started gossiping with someone else about you. And then I snapped at her. But you know me…" Ransom hummed, pressing his lips to her forehead.

His wife had a docile soul. Everything from her looks to her mannerisms was soft. She couldn't yell, she couldn't tell people off— she was too pure to do that. The world needed people like her, to be honest. That was also one of the things he liked about her. Sometimes, he thought about how beneficial it would be for her to hold her own in a fight, but his ego shoved the thought down each time.

He liked being her big protector. He loved taking care of her like that. "Yes, I know, angel. You're too good for this world, you know that?" he mumbled, slightly pulling away from her so he could cup her face, looking into her eyes. She huffed and looked away. "I'm too soft. I can't help it. I don't want to be this way." He chuckled and leaned over to kiss her. "Oh no, you should definitely be this way."

"Why?"

"Because it suits you. Don't change for people who don't even care about you. I like you like this; gentle, caring… you have the biggest heart in the world, Y/N. And I want to keep it that way. Don't let people ruin your innocence. Keep being you." He pressed her closer when she started sniffling again. "You're too good to me," she pouted and he laughed. "That's my duty as your husband, kitten. Look, I bought flowers."

He took out the bouquet from his bag, smiling when Y/N's eager hands accepted it. "Thank you! Oh, these are so beautiful! Let me replace the flowers in the vase on the dining table!" Squealing, she walked away from him, leaving him to stare after her with an infatuated smile. You have no idea what you do to me, angel.

---

"Night, Ran," Y/N yawned, keeping her phone away. He held his arm up and Y/N snuggled into his side, allowing him to wrap his arm around her side. "Night, sweetheart," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her nose. He watched TV for some time until the match got boring; then he switched it off and carefully lay down on the bed, about to doze off when Y/N's phone rang. He blinked. Who'd be calling at his hour?

He lifted the phone off the nightstand, grimacing when he saw the Caller ID. Amy. As soon as he picked the phone up, Amy started blabbering. "Hi! Sorry I'm calling so late, Y/N, but I wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you at work today. It was wrong of me, really, I hope you can forgive me!" Ransom stayed silent, his jaw clenched. He had been hearing that line for years.

"Ransom, it's okay, she apologized, she won't be doing it again. She told me so herself!"

It was never the last time.

"Are you done?" he snapped and Amy froze on the other side. "M-Mr Drysdale—" "Listen, I don't want to hear it. I'm not Y/N; she has a heart of gold, God, I wonder why I let her hang out with people whose hearts are made of pure shit. How many times have you apologized for the same thing, huh? Using my girl's pure heart to your fucking advantage like that?"

"You're being—"

"I'm being what? I'm being rude? Who started it? If you ever mention our marriage in front of Y/N again, I'll have your fucking head." Amy bristled on the other side. "Are you threatening me?" Ransom smirked. "If you don't want to be threatened, I suggest you keep your nose out of other people's business. What mine and Y/N's relationship is like is no one's concern."

Amy stayed silent. "Gossiping won't get you anywhere. I have the best lawyers in the city, and I swear, if Y/N comes crying to me one more time about how someone was rude to her, I'll sue. Trust me, I will take legal action. Is that understood?" Amy quaked at his menacing tone. "Y-Yes, sir." Ransom's lips curled into a devious smile. "Great." And he ended the call.

"Ransom, who was that?" Y/N sleepily murmured next to him. She hadn't heard a word of the conversation, but could tell he was on the phone. "No one you need to worry about, sweetheart, go to sleep. I'm here." He lay down next to her, pulling her close. "You know, I have a question." He nodded at her to go on. "How do you always know when I'm going to be in a bad mood?"

"What do you mean?" he smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. "I mean, I have been wondering for years! Everytime I happen to be in a bad mood, you bring home a gift. It's like— it's like you can read my mind! How?! It can't be a coincidence, it has happened a lot of times for it to be a coincidence," she rambled and Ransom's heart fluttered at how innocent and adorable she looked.

"I have my ways," he teased, lightly poking her nose. "You're not gonna tell me, are you?" she pouted and he couldn't help but lean forward, pressing his lips to hers. "Nope, just so I can keep surprising you." She giggled, snuggling further into his arms until her face was pressed into his bare chest. "I love you so much, Ransom," she whispered. "I love you more, my sweet little angel."

Both of them went to sleep with giddy smiles on their faces.

Oh, and the Spotify thing? That was his little secret. Shh, don't tell anyone!

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

#ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x y/n #ransom drysdale x female reader #hugh ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale fluff #knives out #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans characters #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

[wolferine]

Forgiven

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: One-shot sequel to my “Unforgivable” series. After being paralyzed in an accident, Natasha reunites with her lover who caused the accident in the first place.

Warnings: Mentions of torture, language

Word count: 2300

Tags: @yeetus-thyself @phoenixofash @yeeterthekeeper @alessiapn @diaryoflife @norwaynatasharomanoff @lovelyy-moonlight @nightingalxx @supersourlemon13

AN: This one’s for you, @allhailthelesbian! :)

You do not have to read the previous story to follow this one!

Something shifts in your arms and you instinctively tighten them, feeling a tickle of hair across your nose.

“Y/N,” Natasha whispers, “You squeeze me any harder and I’m gonna choke to death.”

“Huh?” You loosen your arms and open your eyes, finding your red-haired, green-eyed beauty staring back at you.

“Good morning,” she says.

“Good morning.” You close your eyes again and press your foreheads together.

“Ready for a workout?” she asks.

You chuckle. “It’s been a while since I’ve done one of those.”

She traces her finger over your bicep. While you’ve lost some weight in the past few months, you’ve still got some wiry strength, but you know you have some catching up to do. 

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” she says. “But my legs don’t even work and I’m not using that as an excuse.”

“Okay, okay,” you sigh. “Five more minutes?”

“Fine. Only because I need your help getting to the bathroom, anyway.”

“Oh.” Your eyes fly back open. Although Natasha’s been living with her condition for more than six months, it’s still your first week back with her and sometimes you forget her needs are different than before you left. “I can just get up now—” you start.

“It’s fine,” she says, pushing you back onto the bed as you try to sit up.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Ask me again in five minutes.” She snuggles closer to you and her breath is hot against your collarbone. You close your eyes again and feel her touch the starburst of a scar on your cheek from where her bullet had struck your face.

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” she whispered.

“Hmm?”

“When I fired my gun, I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” she says. “I just wanted to distract you. But then my bullet bounced off the pole and hit you in the face.”

“It’s okay,” you reply, knowing you’ve done far worse to her. A minor blemish was nothing compared to losing control of your legs.

Ten minutes later, Natasha announces she needs to use the bathroom. You sit up without being told twice and pick her up bridal-style, carrying her into the bathroom. Tony had made some modifications, such as adding handlebars near the toilet and inside the shower and lowering the medicine cabinet for easier access.

“Can you bring my wheelchair in? So you don’t have to keep carrying me back and forth,” Natasha asks as you help situate her on the toilet.

“I don’t mind,” you say.

“But I do,” she says.

Without argument, you move her wheelchair from the bedroom to the bathroom. “Holler if you need me,” you say, closing the door and going to change into a tank top and shorts. When you’re done, you hear water running in the sink and can’t help asking, “Everything okay in there?”

“Uh-huh! Jus’ brushin’ my teef!”

“Okay! Take your time.” You don’t want to be overbearing but you want to be ready to help when she needs it. Tony had talked to you about how independent she was; she insisted on learning how to do everything for herself, not liking the help of caregivers or nurses. 

Obviously, she was more comfortable asking you for help than a stranger, but you knew her well enough to know that she hated showing any signs of vulnerability, even if she really needed help.

Natasha rolls out of the bathroom and you trade spots with her, using the toilet and brushing your teeth. When you come out, she’s by the closet with her back towards you. She has on a workout shirt and struggles to pull a pair of shorts up her legs.

“Do you need some help?” you ask. Tony had told you to always ask first instead of jumping right in.

“Yes, please.” Natasha sighs. The shorts are hooked around her feet. “It’s…It’s a little hard for me to reach sometimes.”

“That’s okay.” You kneel and shimmy the shorts over her knees. 

“Can you pick me up so I can pull them on?” she asks.

“Sure.” You wrap your arms under hers and gently lift her high enough for her to pull the shorts up to her hips.

“Thanks.” You set her back down and help her put her shoes on. “All ready?”

“Let’s go.”

You go down to the Avengers’ state-of-the-art gym, containing every single piece of workout equipment you’re humanly aware of. There are weights up to the ton and a 12-foot deep Olympic-sized swimming pool.

“What did you have in mind today?” you ask as you walk next Natasha. She rolls suspiciously close to the swimming pool and you wish you could squeeze yourself on the other side of her to make sure she doesn’t fall in.

“Leg day,” she says.

“Huh?”

“Kidding!” Natasha laughs when suddenly, her wheelchair catches on the end of a loose pool noodle someone had left out and she launches from her wheelchair into the pool. If the situation hadn’t been so serious, you would’ve cried from laughter, but instead your heart drops to your feet and you jump into action—literally.

“Nat!” you scream, diving in headfirst. Underwater, you open your eyes, letting the chlorine burn into them, and see the blurry shape of Natasha bobbing up to the surface. You swim towards her and when lift your head to take a breath, you find her howling in laughter.

“What are you laughing at?” you ask, coughing up a mouthful of water.

“I’ve been swimming every day since the accident, babe,” she says, doing a much better job of treading water than you. And she doesn’t even have use of her legs. “I’m not going to drown.”

“Well, I might.” Your head dips under and you swallow a mouthful of water. Natasha wraps her hand around your arm and yanks you up.

“Seriously?” she asks.

“Haven’t…swam…in a while,” you choke.

“So, you thought you could jump in and save me when you can barely save yourself?” Natasha shakes her head, but admires your blinding love for her. She drags you over to the wall and grabs the pool noodle. “Use this.” 

You bend the noodle under your arms, grateful for the moment of rest.

“Okay, let’s go do a few laps now!” She paddles away before you can protest. Grudgingly, you kick after her.

***********************************************************************

An hour later, you’re so exhausted you can barely walk and you’re tempted to ask Natasha if she’ll let you sit on her lap while you go back up to your room.

“Shower together?” Natasha asks, and there’s a hint of shyness in her voice.

“Sure.” You’ve already seen there’s plenty of room for the both of you. First, you get Natasha settled into her shower chair before you turn around and take your dripping workout clothes off.

It’s the first time she’s seen you naked since you left. Her eyes trace over the visible bones of your ribs and the scars crisscrossing your back. There’s a burn in the shape of a triangle on the back of your left shoulder, where Hammer had tried to brand you with his logo. Because he didn’t see you as a person, but his property.

Natasha knows that although she’s had a difficult past six months, you had been in your own hell.

You turn towards her and see the sadness in her eyes. “What’s wrong?” you ask.

She doesn’t say anything and offers her hand, pulling you into the shower. You turn on the water, removing the showerhead from the wall to spray over the both of you. There is nothing sexual in any of your actions as you help each other shampoo your hairs and wash your bodies. However, the closeness is still intimate and comforting.

Afterwards, you both dry off and get dressed, going into the kitchen for breakfast. Falling back into a routine with your girlfriend—even after six months—is the easiest thing you ever did. But even though it’s almost like you never left, things aren’t exactly the same, and you want to make up for the lost time as much as you can.

***********************************************************************

When lunchtime rolls around, Natasha suggests taking you to your favorite diner. You haven’t driven a car in six months, so you’re a little nervous when you go down to the garage, until Natasha insists that she’ll drive instead. She takes you over to her black Corvette Stingray, which never fails to make you whistle.

You help her into the driver’s seat, noticing the specialized hand control Tony installed so she could work the pedals with a hand lever. You make a mental note to thank him again for being so generous in caring for your girlfriend in your absence. When you sit in the passenger seat, it feels just like old times.

“Don’t crash,” you tease.

“Oh, please,” Natasha scoffs. “I can’t even use my legs and I’m still a better driver than you.” 

“Ouch.”

You watch as she expertly maneuvers the steering wheel with her left hand while her right hand pushes and pulls on the handle for the brake and gas pedal.

“You look so badass,” you say.

She looks at you and smiles. “I know.”

“I think I’ll just have you drive me around from now on.” You close your eyes and relax in the seat.

When you arrive at the diner’s parking lot, Natasha skips over the blue handicapped stalls and parks across from them.

“You don’t want to park there?” you ask, pointing to an empty blue stall.

She shakes her head. “Maybe someone else needs it more than me,” she says. “After all, they don’t have you to carry them around.” She tries to make a joke out of it, but you can tell she’s a little embarrassed. It’s also the reason she’s so hesitant to drive her Corvette around: most people who see it assume she’s a jackass trying to take advantage of a handicapped spot.

She’s had people scratch her doors and leave ugly notes on the windshield. One time, before she even had the chance to get out of the car, a group of people had gathered at her door to cuss her out. Their red faces of embarrassment and stuttered apologies when Tony helped her into her wheelchair was something she would never forget.

You get her wheelchair out of the trunk and set it next to her door, helping her into it. Inside the restaurant, the waitress removes one of the chairs at your table so Natasha can sit next to you. You don’t even bother looking at the menu, knowing exactly what you want.

You end up finishing all of your food and Natasha’s leftovers, and she can only laugh at your appetite.

“Hammer didn’t you feed you enough?” she teases.

“I’m pretty sure the stuff he gave me can’t even be counted as food,” you respond.

“Before we go home, I want to take you somewhere special,” she says as you leave the restaurant. “I visit it once a week.”

“Let’s do it.”

She drives you to a high school. But since it’s the weekend, the parking lot is empty except for a few cars. Natasha takes you inside. As you go down the hall with her, she grabs onto your hand.

“You don’t need both hands to roll?” you joke.

“I just like being close to you,” she says. Her wheelchair is at the perfect height that you don’t have to strain your shoulder lower to hold her hand. She directs you into a classroom, and when you step inside, you see some people already there. 

They’re all in wheelchairs.

You suddenly feel angry at Natasha for bringing you here. Was she trying to make you feel even more guilty for what you had done to her? These people were all going through their own pain, and here you were having caused that exact same pain to your own lover.

“Hey, everyone,” Natasha says with a confidence in her voice you haven’t heard yet. “This is my partner I’ve told you all about, Y/N.”

“Hi, Y/N!” they chorus. You cringe, wondering how much of yourself Natasha told them. Some of them are like her, paralyzed from the waist down, while others move their wheelchairs around by blowing into tubes or pressing a remote hanging from their necks.

You move out to the hallway and Natasha follows you.

“Why did you bring me here?” you whisper, your stomach churning. You feel like you’ve intruded on something private, something you don’t have the right to be a part of. “What were you thinking—” 

“Please stay,” she begs. “They’re all my friends, and some of them bring their partners along, too. It’s not an exclusive club or anything. We tell stories and learn how to get through things together.

“My condition changed everything for me, but it’s also a change for you. I want to make sure you get the support you need. Because there’s not just two of us in this relationship anymore,” she continues, and you raise your eyebrow. “It’s me, you, and my condition.

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m your burden or you’re my caregiver. I’m still the same as I always was. I can’t do everything myself and I might need your help. It’s just a different kind of help than before.”

You kneel and cup her face. “I love you, Nat. I’ll be here for you, whenever and whatever you need,” you promise.

She leans forward to kiss you. “I know.”

And with that kiss, you feel her forgiveness wash over you, cleansing you of the guilt and trauma of what you did. She had already forgiven you, a long time ago. You couldn’t continue to be so hard on yourself if you wanted the relationship to work. 

You know it won’t be an easy journey, and it’s only the beginning, but with Natasha by your side again, you feel completely unstoppable.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: I was definitely nervous writing this as I have little experience working with people with paralysis, so I did some research and hope I did it justice! If there’s anything out of place, please let me know. :)

Join my taglist for future stories here! Thanks for reading, and until next time…

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #black widow fanfiction #natasha romanoff #black widow #marvel imagine

[unknown-writing]

It’s hard doing this on my own...

Summary: You’ve gone into another Depressive state...This time. It’s far more violent than the last Depressive spell.

Warning(s): TRIGGERING CONTENT ABOUT EXTREME DEPRESSIVE EPISODES! DO NOT READ IF YOUR NOT COMFORTABLE! Ends with fluff. No gifs.

Word count: 2.9k+

A/N: I’m ok.

Luffy has always known you were...Different, than the others. Sure, everybody in the crew went through some tough times in their past but, they made up for that time to make them and their friends smile more. You however...Struggled with genuinely smiling these days again.

It concerned him how distant and emotionless you became. You kept yourself locked away inside that room, to protect the others from being hurt or feeling guilty...All he saw was that you were locked away in a Cage of Sadness that he couldn’t seem to pull you out of no matter how hard he tried too.

Tonight was no exception to his daily routine. He placed the food that Sanji had made on the floor so you could grab it whenever you were ready, then sat down beside your door on the floor of the ship. “Y/n-san...Dinner’s here....” He said loud enough for you to hear, but not enough to startle you.

Nothing....Just silence.

He waited for a few more minutes before getting worried that you weren’t opening the door for the food, but before his worry could worsen. Your door slightly opened wide enough to drag the tray back in...He wanted to see your face again...He missed it. he missed /you/.  Shockingly enough, you /didn’t/ close the door after grabbing the food. Which confused him to say the least because you never allowed him to see you So Sad.

“Y/n-san?” he called out, stepping up to walk into the room, only to pause when he sees you...So....Hurt. It hurt /him/ seeing you like this. His body moved on it’s own and he hugged you tightly, quite literally wrapping his arms around your body.

You didn’t do anything...No smiles, no tears....Nothing.

That worried him.

      “Y-Y/n-san?...” He calls out to you as he still held you. You looked up at him with dead, red eyes from crying so much before now. “Sorry...Luffy...” You weakly started then gave an expressionless chuckle that lacked any kind of excitement, worrying him further, “I can’t feel anything....”

That hit him like a two ton truck. “Can’t feel anything?” What did that mean? Was his hug not working?...He hugged tighter...No real response other than a grunt from being hugged tighter., It didn’t irritate you. It was just uncomfortable and hard to breath properly. Luffy got sad when you didn’t show any response towards his hugs like you used too. So he let go to let you breath better. “You can’t.....Feel anything y/n-san??” He asked again as he held your face, staring dead in your emotionless, empty eyes.

“No....Sorry....” You simply responded, only feeling his hands /slightly/ on your face. Luffy frowned, he was confused on why you were so numb and emotionless now. Was it the Depression you mentioned before? Or was somebody taking your feelings from you against your will? All he could do was sigh and then lift you up bridal style, it hurt not seeing you get flustered about it, but instead, look limp and dead-like in his arms. You seemed a lot more heavier than he expected as well.

He went to chopper, asking for help on what to do, the whole crew was there with you as you just...Quietly sat on the chair you were placed on, and stared at the floor while absorbing everything in. “She’s broken?...” Luffy asked, confused on how you could be broken “Well...Not exactly....But, it’ll take a VERY long time for them to gain their feelings back to normal....They’re hurting.” Choppers words affected the crew, as they were all friends with you. But more importantly, Luffy was affected the most since he was your boyfriend.

       Several months later, Luffy did his hardest to try and make your life just a little bit easier for you. Protecting you during battles. making sure the crew respected your wishes when it came to privacy. Making sure that you ate and slept a healthy amount of each thing so you wouldn’t hurt yourself anymore than you were.

The crew was celebrating another Team-Up mission with the Heart Pirates, they knew that Law was a Doctor so, they confirmed that you did in fact, have Severe Depression...And it started getting REALLY bad over time, but that a shift was going to change after a while. Which surprised Luffy to say the least but, he didn’t force you to change for anything.

You were off in your own corner with Zoro, as the two of you had gotten to be close friends before your Depressive state. Luffy was sitting with the two of you since he’s gotten fairly protective over you, over the last several months. You just drinking some Tea and had some of your favorites out of this feast that Sanji and the Heart’s crew had prepared for everybody, minding your own business as you absorbed everything.

You felt....Lighter...MUCH lighter than before...It’s not 100% happiness but, it’s /something/ to say the least. Zoro saw the slight shine that came back to your eyes for a split second, but didn’t comment on it and just left you be. Meanwhile, Luffy was reenacting his fight with a recent enemy that was super strong, you listened in every now and then, but heard that Luffy nearly got killed.

That worried you...Your face warped in concern but, went away fairly quick when he said that he managed to make it out somewhat alright thanks to the crew. You were thankful for them keeping him alive. He was your boyfriend after all.

Your boyfriend........

Your Boyfriend.....

The thought of the fact that you nearly lost your boyfriend to an enemy hit you like a two ton truck. You sat there deadpanned, but you felt something Wet falling down your cheeks. You didn’t move or say anything. Luffy paused when he heard a faint sniffle from your throat...You were crying.

He started to panic, wondering why you were crying all of a sudden. You rubbed your face and held up a hand to make him pause, “I...I’m ok....I’m ok...” You repeated, “How are you ok y/n-san!? Your crying!” he yelled, worried that his story may have triggered you into a relapse. Once you started calming down, you chuckled, albeit it was very soft and awkward, “Sorry...I’m Sorry...It’s just...The thought of losing my boyfriend got me more upset than my Depression that I started crying...” You admitted, now shocking Luffy and the crew that could hear you.

Luffy paused, somewhat stunned by you just admitting that outright...”Y/n-san?...” he asked while waiting for a response from you...You weren’t exactly back to normal, but the very, /very/ small smile you gave was Bright enough for him to notice that you were coming back from being so numb for so long. Luffy was ecstatic to say the least. Even if your smile was small and awkward. You still /smiled/ after so long of being unable too.

Luffy shouted your name out when he flung into your lap, startling you, which caught /everybody’s attention/ this time and turned to see what was happening. Much to their surprise. There you were. Giving a soft smile as your boyfriend hugged you tightly, keeping you close to him. The crew sighed in relief that you were starting to express emotions again.

                                           ----------------------------------

Sanji was always in-tune with your emotions. He could sense that something would be eating at you before you even mentioned it, he made himself become synced with your emotions so that way he could be there for you in any way possible, even if it’s for a short time.

However, when your too quiet and distant. He can’t really do much to help you out. He can’t guess what your feeling that day because you’re avoiding him and the others. He can’t be there for you for emotional support if you’re not willing to accept it from him.

Soon enough. After a couple of months of realizing this familiar pattern of yours, he knew what was up. He knew that you were having yet another Really Bad Depressive episode again...Only this time, it seemed to be FAR worse than what happened the last time. Lasting a longer time than usual...It affected him quite a lot. He felt guilty that he couldn’t hold you or kiss you goodnight/good morning. He couldn’t so much as see your face because you refused to let him see this Ugly Demon of yours.

      Today was different. It felt off to him. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it but, while he was out shopping for food supplies on this small Island with the others. Nami had left YOU to take care of the ship. Sanji had to force Usopp to stay behind and help in case the ship got attacked while they were gone.

“--anji-kun??” Nami called out, “SANJI-KUN!!” She yelled, snapping him out of his worried trance over you. “H-Huh?? Sorry..What were you saying??” he asked, snapping back to reality. Nami could only groan in irritation, sighing as she rubbed her face. “Look. If your that worried about y/n-san. Then go back to the ship. Give me your grocery list and I’ll do the shopping for you.” She says while shooing him.

You weren’t expecting to be outside of your room...But it’s not like it was your fault to begin with. You gave an irritated scowl as the guy held you in his bigger arms, practically choking you in the process. You were being used as a hostage to calm down Usopp, and hopefully lure out the other Straw Hats to collect their bounties and turn them in.

“Right...We’ll be taking this lovely lady as well with your treasure...” The guy starts off, but saw that Usopp was about to fight back, so he held out a gun to your head and chuckled. “Don’t even try anything...You move, this girl gets her head blown off.” He threatens before going into a chuckle fit. You looked up at him with your expressionless eyes, a smile was there but, it was creepy. “Sure...go ahead and kill me....But, I don’t think you got the stomach to handle that.” You teased, giving out a small Pfftt sound effect afterwards when he cringed and released you, just letting you fall on your knees.

“Y-Y/n-san! Don’t give him any ideas!!” Usopp shouted, scared for you. All you could do was sigh sadly, “As I thought...” You paused to look up, “You didn’t have the guts to shoot...” You teased again, making the Pirate Hunter flinch again and re-point the gun at you face in point-blank range. “Creepy girl.” He insulted.

        But before he could shoot, his head got kicked in and his aim barely missed your head. You sat there, wide-eyed when you saw your boyfriend Sanji, He looked angry as he was literally on fire. You then saw his face up close when he started to fight the other guys, kicking them off the ship or sending them flying into the deeper part of the ocean. By the time he was done, the main leader of the Pirate Hunters had been placed underneath his foot, Sanji was holding his face there, you could see the other guy’s face warping in fear for his own life

Sanji then lifted his leg up, and then a loud /thump/ rang in your ear. he crushed the guy’s skull in, killing him right in front of you. “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT HURTING /MY/ Y/N-SAN!” He screamed, which made the last remaining few of the Pirate hunters run for it, jumping overboard as they panicked in fear from Black-Leg Sanji.

You stayed still. Shocked as to what exactly had happened. You were about to be killed while you were Depressed....You /wanted it/..You /craved it/....But even so, the feeling of being rescued by your boyfriend...Overwhelmed you. You stayed still and started to cry out loud, startling Sanji out of his anger-trance to go to you and hold you tightly. At first, you didn’t do anything. But after a while, the crying got worse, you clung to him for dear life.

You /wanted to die/...But even so...Being saved by him made you thankful for the save he just did. “T-Thank you Sanji!! I....I thought I w-was gonna...Gonna die!” You panicked, somewhat yelling within your hiccupped sobs. Sanji kept you close and did his best to calm you down from your meltdown, cooing you as he ignored Usopp and his surroundings. “I’m just glad that your feeling better y-y/n-san...” He says, knowing that you weren’t 100% there but, you were alive regardless.

                                           ---------------------------

Despite how Zoro is. He instantly knew that you weren’t.../There/ mentally for the last while the first minute he saw that you hadn’t woken up with him in his bed this time.

This time however....Had gotten pretty bad. A lot of your old habits started showing themselves but, they seemed to be doubled over time. At first he decided to just....Leave you be, in case if you just needed the time to yourself so that way you can focus on getting better. But...Over time when this started to become a constant with your routine. That’s when his panic really started to kick in.

Today marked the 34th day that you kept in your room. Sure, you’d peak out for food and something to drink or snack on, but that was way in the beginning. It’s been three weeks since you barely showed up. Zoro paced back and forth in front of your room, softly mumbling to himself on what he should do. Should he knock on the door? No, that’d startle you..Should he just barge in if it’s unlocked? No..You’d probably hate him if he did that..What if you were blacked out? Or sick? oR DEAD!? “Zoro....If you keep pacing back and forth like that...It won’t fix anything...” Nami said in a worried tone of voice, seeing her friend pace back and forth with worry. Zoro only scoffed and shooed her out. so he could focus on helping you somehow.

            Suddenly, a loud /thump/ echoed your room when he listened in, that was enough to get him to just slam the door open in a frenzy, worried out of his god damn mind on what was happening. “Y/n!?” He called out....Nothing. he looked around your small room and noticed that it was a complete disaster. it seemed like you had fought somebody in here. he clicked his tongue, disappointed in himself for being unable to be there during one of your meltdowns when you needed him most.

He paused when he saw your body on the ground, panicking, he started calling out your name loudly. You weren’t dead...Thank god. But you were very weak...Too weak. Zoro yelled to get the other crew member’s attention as he lifted up your weakened body. You were breathing but, it was heavy. “The hell happened??” He asked, feeling a sense of guilt start to wash over, before he moved further though, he felt something tap against his boot. “A bottle?” he turned it over so he could get the label and read it’s content.

He couldn’t fully read it properly but, he got enough of an idea that it completely shocked him. Before the others had arrived, he rushed with your limp body to Chopper’s “office” so he could check up on what was happening with you from a professional...He had an idea but, he didn’t want to assume either.

“Y/n was trying to overdose on something.” Chopper said bluntly while looking at the content from the blood he took from you. He sighed and noticed that it was a medicine that he used to numb his patience when they need severe stitches. “But...They’ll be ok....Luckily you caught them just in time Zoro. Anymore of this could’ve killed them.” Zoro didn’t say much. he just thanked Chopper for the hard work and patted his head gently.

     It took a while for you to get back to normal after that night. You felt extremely guilty and kept apologizing to both Zoro and the rest of the crew for what you tried to do. At first, they where angry but after a while, they understood what you were going through and left you alone. Zoro on the other hand, was NOT happy....Not one bit. He wasn’t /livid/ either but, he wasn’t too pleased with what he saw. The scene of him finding your nearly dead body kept playing in his mind. he was terrified of losing you, so terrified that it actually scared him.

Eventually though, you and Zoro were able to talk a little less awkwardly now. The two of you stayed in the workout room just talking about random stuff. A small silence filled the air after a while...You sighed, rubbing the back of your head awkwardly. “...Thank you...” You say quietly, but loud enough for Zoro to hear. “...For saving me that night...”  After hearing you thank him for saving you. At first, he wanted to be petty and make you sit in that guilt for a bit.

But after a short few moment, he caved in and wrapped his arms around you tightly. You didn’t say anything but, you could tell he was upset, as he shivered a bit within the hug. “Don’t ever do that again y/n...” He starts off then paused to inhale, “If you need to talk to somebody. I’m here. I’ll always be here.” he lets go so that way he can kiss your forehead and put you on his lap to cuddle you again. “I can’t stand the thought of you not being by my side.” he admits, which really warmed your heart. 

You sighed and patted his head gently, “...I promise to turn to you from now on.” You say as the two of you cuddled then fell asleep in each others arms.

#tw// depression #tw/ suicidal attempt #tw// heavy mental themes #Do not read if your uncomfortable #luffy x reader #zoro x reader #sanji x reader #one piece x reader

[t0wnspersonb]

You’re Beautiful (Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader)

Word Count: 4,784

Warnings: SMUT, slight angst, bullying, my shit writing, Kuroo being too damn hot

Summary: Despite how much you loved him, you couldn’t handle the constant bullying that came with dating one of the most sought after males at your school. The constant harassment from Kuroo’s fans ended with you breaking up with him. But when Kuroo founds out the truth... well he does everything in his power to make sure you’re taken care of.

~~~~

Anonymous said:

Hiii 🦊 Rachel here! Could I please request a scenario in which kuroo s/o has been being constantly bullied by kuroo's fangirls during months to the point in which her self confidence is almost crushed but she remain silent and decides to try yo break Up with him?. She appears the Next day at school wearing sexy clothes and make up to make them believe she Split Up with him seriosly. But kuroo notices what's happening and reassures her? Smut ending please if possible!! Thank u so much!! 😊

~~~~

Anonymous said:

Can I please request a scenario where Kuroo helps his gf relieve her stress by giving her his full attention and worshipping her? She’s also very insecure. He walks in the room to find her staring at herself in the mirror, lifting her shirt up and looking sad (insecure about her body). No need for angst though! She beams the moment he flirts with her and call her kitten. Soft!dom vibes with lots of dirty talk and praise (and maybe cockwarming?). Thank you 🥺 ily and your blog btw

~~~~

I decided to put these two requests together since they both fall into the same category! I hope you enjoy this one Rachel and anon! 

Sorry it took so long for me to write! I think I do a terrible job at writing characters as a dom so I apologize in advance if it wasn’t what you guys were wanting! As always please let me know what you guys think:)

~~~~

“- I don’t understand.” Kuroo’s frown deepened, his fingers clenching and unclenching into fists at his side.

 You had an audience, the soft whispers of people passing by curled around your ear like the wind.

 You knew exactly what they were talking about, what they will be talking about for the next couple of weeks.

 “Y/n why are you breaking up with me?” he pressed further, his tall frame taking a step closer to you. 

 “I told you.” Your voice sounds strained, even to your own ears, despite the mental preparation you had to do before.

 Hell, there was no amount of mental preparation that could prepare you for something like this.

 Kuroo’s annoyed and calculating expression shifted dramatically, hurt and confusion clouded his face, his large hand reached out towards you, causing you to take a step back, your arms wrapping around your body.

 You wanted to curl into yourself, to disappear completely so you didn’t have to see Kuroo’s pained expression.

 “That doesn’t… that doesn’t make sense! We were doing great! You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to go out with me! So why… why all of a sudden -” 

 “I told you.” You stressed, cutting him off immediately. “I don’t want to be with someone who only focuses on their club activities. You never have time for me, you’re always so busy with your stupid club. I can’t do this anymore.”

 Lies.

 Lies.

 Lies.

 They were all lies.

 But you… you had to make this work, you had to make this hurt, or else… or else you knew he would never leave you alone.

 The whispering around you got louder, the large smirks from the girls amongst the crowd pierced into your heart.

 But not as much as this.

 Kuroo’s expression ripped your heart in two.

 This hurt like hell.

 “Your team is waiting for you Kuroo.” You said quietly, ignoring the ache in your chest as he visibly flinched at the use of his surname, something you never called him. “I’ll see you around.”

 You turned to walk away, resisting the urge to look back at the tall male. You could feel tears stinging at your eyes as you rushed out of the school gates, it was probably a mistake to do this right after class; catching him right before he went into volleyball practice. 

 It honestly was all a mistake but… you didn’t have a choice.

 You were suddenly yanked back, causing you to stumble about.

 “That was quite the show.” a familiar voice drawled out, you flinched as you scrambled away from the group of girls that were staring you down.

 The group of girls that caused this mess.

 “It was smart of you to break up with him. Kuroo-san belongs to all of us, not just you. You ugly girl.” She sneered. “Who would want you anyway? Kuroo-san was just dating you out of pity, I bet he just wanted a quick lay. Since you’re that easy.”

 You could feel your lower lip tremble, the tears that were already gathered in your eyes threatening to spill over. 

 “Well it’s done, just leave me alone now.” You mumbled, walking away. 

 As soon as you were a safe distance away, tears began pouring down your face. 

The flood of emotions you were experiencing was something like no other. The pain that you felt deep within your chest was excruciating, and all you could see behind your lids as you wiped at your eyes was Kuroo’s hurt expression.

 You were lucky enough that your mother wasn’t home, she wouldn’t be home for the next couple of days due to a business trip. 

 Which meant you could cry your heart out in peace.

 No amount of mental preparation prepared you for this. For the hurt that you had caused the person you loved the most, for the hurt that you were experiencing from the constant cruelty of those girls.

 It was all too much. 

 By the time you had finally finished crying it was late at night, and you found yourself in front of your bathroom mirror.

 They were right, you were an ugly girl, why would Kuroo want to be with someone like you? 

 It was always a question that lingered in the back of your mind when Kuroo confessed to you. It was strange wasn’t it? He was quite possibly the most perfect human being you had ever met, so why would he want to be with you?

 “Since you’re that easy.” 

 You shook your head from the comment, Kuroo was your first for everything; memories that you would cherish forever, even if you were no longer with him.

 You at least knew that comment wasn’t true, Kuroo wasn’t a cruel person, there was no way he would have thought of you that way.

 The person you were looking at in the mirror wasn’t someone you recognized. A stranger in your own skin, your eyes flickered to every inch of your insecurities, your body shrinking down.

 You couldn’t go on like this, something had to change.

 ****

 “W-What are you wearing Y/n-chan?” Yaku asked, face flushed, as he took in your uniform.

 You were lucky enough to have arrived at school without any encounters with those girls and Kuroo. But you were unlucky in the fact that you were in the same class as Kuroo and Yaku.

 “D-Does it look bad?” You asked, carefully tugging at the hem of your skirt.

 “No but… you never wear anything that short… I’m just not used to seeing you like that… are you wearing makeup?” Yaku looked at you in surprise, the pink in his cheeks never fading.

 You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly, your head ducking down in embarrassment as you nodded.

 This was so uncomfortable; you were completely out of your element right now.

 You had opted for the shorter uniform skirt today, something that was completely different than your usual knee length one. Your legs had never been so exposed at school before.

 The makeup… well, you hardly ever wore makeup, it wasn’t like you were wearing a whole lot of it, but just enough to make you feel just a tad less insecure about yourself.

 “Kuroo is gonna flip when he -” Yaku shut his mouth immediately; eyes casting away from you.

 That’s right.

 He had almost forgotten that you had broken up with him yesterday, and from the slight fall of your face, maybe you had forgotten too.

 “You know… Kuroo was devastated when he came into practice yesterday, he made us do twice as many drills, got upset over the littlest things…” Yaku trailed off, glancing over at you briefly. “We didn’t know what had happened until Lev said something about it. News travels fast around here huh?” he joked weakly.

 “Just news that involves your golden boy.” you said quietly, your eyes trained on your folded hands that rested on your desk.

 Yaku turned his body completely towards you now. “Y/n-chan what happened? Why did you -” the classroom door suddenly opened, and in walked the golden boy himself.

 He looked… exhausted, sad. 

 The tiny piece that you were able to fix in your heart shattered once again, leaving you empty and achy inside.

 This was all your fault. 

 His exhaustion, his sadness, that was all you.

 You could feel his eyes flickering over to your form, but you didn’t dare meet his gaze, you settled for pulling out one of your books from your bag; eyes focused on the page, although, you couldn’t even comprehend what it was you were reading.

 His shadow loomed over you as he paused next to your desk. It was only for a couple of seconds before he sighed loudly, taking his seat behind Yaku.

 Fuck today was going to be a long day.

 ****

 The next couple of days were routine now, Yaku would attempt to make small talk with you, struggling each and every time to ask you what had happened between you and Kuroo, and each time it ended with Kuroo entering the classroom and standing near your desk before sighing loudly and leaving.

 Despite the fact that it was becoming routine, it still wasn’t easy. None of it was, the only easy thing was that those pesky girls in his fan club left you alone, at least you got relief from that.

 Until today. 

 Of course, it would be when you were walking home that they would approach you, no one in sight.

 “You really think that dressing up and wearing makeup is going to make you pretty?” one of them scoffed, a wicked smirk playing on her lips. “You’re still ugly, you did Kuroo-san a favor by dumping him, who would want to be with someone as hideous as you?”

 You gritted your teeth, your hands tightening around the strap of your bag as you attempted to step around them, only for them to get in your way once more. 

 They were cornering you now.

 “I did what you asked, why do you keep bothering me?” you asked quietly, pleading almost.

 “Because you took him away from us all those months ago. Kuroo-san has never and will never be yours. It honestly was such a bitchy thing for you to do Y/n. You really think that by just breaking up with him you would be let off the hook? Wrong.” 

 Your quiet demeanor never faltered; you were desperate to go home though. So you tried stepping around them once again, only to be shoved back into another one of the girls.

 They were laughing at you as they shoved you about, but you didn’t have the strength to fight back, to stand up for yourself.

 You just… you just let it happen.

 You probably deserved it anyway, right? 

 For breaking Kuroo’s heart.

 You deserved all of it, right?

 “Hey!” 

 Everyone froze, yourself included. You knew that voice all too well, and you couldn’t help the tears that began to pool in your eyes.

 Cool fingers clasped at your wrist, carefully yanking you away from the group of girls that were now cowering in front of the tall male that stood before them.

 “Are you okay Y/n?” Kenma peered at you in concern, carefully releasing his grip on you. You nodded, rubbing at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater.

 “K-Kuroo-san! We were just teaching her a lesson! She hurt you, didn’t she? We were just trying to protect you!” one of the girl’s pleaded.

 You had never seen Kuroo like this. He was genuinely angry, his eyes all but turning into slits as he glared down at the group of girls who were nearly in tears at this point.

 “From what I heard, you guys are the reason that Y/n broke up with me.” he said, tone deep and dark. “From what I saw… well… girls like you absolutely disgust me.” he sneered. 

 “K-Kuroo-san.” one of them began to cry.

 “From now on stay away from me, and stay away from Y/n. If I catch you guys anywhere near her then we’re going to have some problems. Understand?” he stood incredibly tall; his arms folded across his chest as he stared down at the group of girls.

 It was silent for a moment and then whimpers and loud cries began to erupt from the group, all of them running off.

 As soon as they were out of sight Kuroo slumped down, sighing tiredly as his large hand ran down his face, rubbing off whatever emotions he was feeling. But then he was turning to face you, concern clouding his eyes as he walked closer.

 “Are you hurt?” he murmured softly, one of his fingers gently sliding against your cheek, his eyes flickering across your face.

 You shook your head, but you could feel oncoming tears beginning to pool. You desperately wanted to throw yourself into his arms at this point.

 But Kuroo knew you too well, he recognized the look on your face and his hand slid down to grasp yours.

 “Let’s go.” he said. “Kenma I’m going to take Y/n home. Walk home without me.” his eyes glanced over at his friend who nodded, waving goodbye to the two of you before taking his leave.

 For the most part, the trip home was entirely quiet, you two hadn’t addressed anything that had happened at the school, or what had happened in the days prior. It was mostly small talk, but you felt lighter somehow. 

 Kuroo brought the best out of you, he was your better half; his mere presence brought a sense of calm to the raging storm inside of you.

 He also had never let go of your hand.

 Maybe it was because of what happened earlier, or maybe it was an unconsciousness thing, but you were grateful for it.

 His hand was large and warm, his thumb rubbing gently against the back of your hand, it was entirely soothing.

 But now your anxiety was through the roof as you approached your front door, pausing to retrieve the keys from your bag.

 Would he go? 

 Would he want to come in?

 Would he want answers?

 Would you guys get back together?

 “Y/n....” Kuroo stared down at you intensely, his face nothing but serious. “Can we talk?”

 Fuck. Maybe it was all of the above.

 You bit your lip, nodding before you guys stepped into your house.

 “Where’s your mom?” Kuroo asked casually, slipping off his shoes.

 “She’s on a business trip, she’ll be back on Saturday.” you said quietly. Kuroo said nothing back as you guys made your way to your room. Silence engulfing you completely, the air thick with tension.

 “Do you really not want to be with me anymore?” Kuroo asked as soon as you guys got settled in. There was no room for small talk now, he had jumped to the point immediately.

 “Or did you break up with me because of those girls?” he asked, his eyes never leaving your form.

“They’ve been… they’ve been harassing me since we got together, it got really bad recently…” you trailed off, ignoring the dark look that crossed over his face for a moment. 

 “Why didn’t you tell me?” his voice was incredibly soft now, his expression gentle. “I would’ve done something about it.”

 “I don’t know.” you whimpered out, the tears that you had been holding back since school finally spilled over. “They were your fans… you’re so amazing, I didn’t want them to think badly of you. They’re right, you know. Why would someone like you want someone like me? I’m not very pretty or smart, I’m not passionate like you are… they said I was only dragging you down. I didn’t want to hold you back anymore. So, I - I had to break up with you, had to hurt you enough so that you wouldn’t try pursuing me anymore.”

 At this point you were full on sobbing, blabbering your confession. The words just leaked out, there was no point in stopping now, not like you could anyway. 

 “I didn’t mean what I said about the team either. I just said that to hurt your feelings. I love that you’re so dedicated to your team and volleyball, I love how hard you work towards your goals. You’re so good at what you do. I’m so sorry Kuroo. I’m so sorry.” you choked out, another sob tearing through your lips as you desperately tried wiping away the ongoing flow of tears.

 Your eyes were incredibly blurry, your loud crying and hiccups were the only sound that could be heard in the room. You hadn’t even registered that Kuroo had gotten off your bed until you were being yanked into a warm chest. His strong arms wrapped around you tightly, crushing you to his body.

 Warmth seeped into your being, radiated off of his chest and into yours. Your nose was filled with the scent of Kuroo, familiar and perfect as you buried your face deeper into his chest. 

 He caged you against his body, the strong grip he had only tightening further; his large hands rubbed up and down your back, soothing your hysteria until there were only soft hiccups and sniffles.

 You weren’t sure how long Kuroo held you for, but you didn’t care. You never wanted to leave his arms.

 He was solid, so strong and warm; grounding you to this moment. You could only think of him, as he was right now, and as you were right now. Right now, this moment was perfect.

 Right now, you knew that you would never stop loving Kuroo Tetsurou.

 “I wish you would’ve told me about those girls earlier.” he finally spoke, his voice was calm, the movement of his hands never stopping against your back. “At least you’re telling me now. But…” his hands gently pulled you away from his body. His eyes burned as they stared into your own, the intensity of his gaze took your breath away, he had never looked at you like that before. 

 “You’re seriously stupid if you think any of that is true. Not pretty? Not smart? Dragging me down? Holding me back? That’s not true.” He cupped your face carefully, titling your head back slightly, forcing your eyes to only stare at him. 

 “You’re the kindest person I know. You’re so beautiful, you have no idea how many of the guys at our school wanted to go out with you. You’re the top of our class, did you forget that you’re in the college prep class? You’re incredibly smart. You’ve never dragged me down; you’ve never held me back. You make me want to be better, you make me want to work harder. If I don’t have you by my side… then what’s the point to any of it?” his voice was deep and fierce, full of fiery passion as he stared down at you. 

 “Do you love me?” he asked.

 “Of course, I love you, I never stop-” Kuroo slammed his lips against yours, kissing you fiercely and urgently.

 You whimpered loudly, fingers gripping at the front of his uniform tightly as you surrendered yourself to his kiss. 

 Every ounce of his feelings for you were being poured into this kiss, it was searing, burning you completely as he nipped and sucked at your bottom lip, forcing his tongue into your mouth easily.

 It was wet and hot as he massaged the pink muscle in your mouth with his own, and you could only take it, clinging to him desperately as you tried to keep up with his pace.

 You hadn’t even realized that he was taking steps back until your world shifted, Kuroo easily pulling you down onto his lap as he sat on your bed. You held yourself up, knees pressing into the soft mattress on either side of his hips.

 “You’re mine.” he breathed against your mouth, the hand that was resting on your back trailed down towards your exposed legs. His fingers curled around the back of your upper thigh, skimming against the band of the thigh highs that you wore.

 “I can’t believe you started wearing these tiny little skirts to school. I hated the way other guys would look at you whenever you left the classroom… and the makeup? Who were you trying to impress?” he murmured, nipping at your bottom lip before trailing his mouth against the underside of your jaw, and down your throat.

 “I - ahh - I just wanted to…” your fingers slid into his hair; eyes fluttering shut as his tongue flickered out to taste your skin. “Feel good about myself.”

 He pulled away from you, his lips swollen, and pupils blown as he stared at you. “You’re gorgeous, you don’t need to make yourself up like that. I’ll make you feel good.” 

 Kuroo began tugging the clothes off of your guys’ body, easily tossing them to the floor until you were both bare.

 His lips parted as his eyes wandered to every inch of your skin, greedily taking in all of your pretty curves. You were his, he’d never let anyone else have you, he’d never let anyone else see you like this. Sprawled out on top of the bed, face flushed a beautiful pink, your knees bent as your feet sat flat against the sheets, your core entirely exposed to him.

 You were dripping, cunt glistening and begging to be touched.

 “It’s embarrassing.” you whispered, face heating up as you took in the way he stared openly at your exposed lower half. You moved to clamp your legs shut, only for his large hands to grab your knees, ripping them apart easily, exposing you further.

 “What’s so embarrassing about a boyfriend wanting to stare at his beautiful girlfriend?” he asked, eyebrow raising, a small smirk grazed his lips. “I’m going to make you feel so good, kitten.” 

 His face sank lower, the hands that were resting on your knees sliding down until they curled around the back of your upper thighs, pushing them further apart and up. 

His nose brushed against your mound and then you felt his hot breath blowing against your center, causing a loud whimper to escape your lips, your fingers gripping at the sheets below.

 “Thank you for the meal.” he smirked against you, eyes flickering towards you before his mouth enveloped you completely.

 You cried out.

 Kuroo’s mouth was like a furnace as he lapped at your cunt carefully, flattening his tongue against your soaked entrance before flicking it up towards your swollen bundle of nerves.

 The pink muscle easily swirled against your clit, lazy almost, before dipping back into your slit, moving in and out of you perfectly.

 Your chest was heaving at this point, your fingers reaching down to tangle into his already messy hair, urging him closer.

 His grip on your thighs tightened, his tongue moving against you faster as he felt you drip onto his tongue.

 “Tetsurou.” you whimpered. “I’m close, so close.” you slurred, the familiar tightness within your belly coiling rapidly.

 Kuroo pulled himself away immediately, a loud whine tearing through your lips.

 “N-No! Why did you stop?” You cried out, the tightness residing immediately, the dull ache of your cunt begging for more attention, for release.

 Kuroo stood above you, a devilish grin stretching across his face as you whined pitifully at him. One of the hands that was gripping your thigh suddenly came down, swatting at your swollen cunt with a sharp sting.

 You cried out in surprise as your body jolted with pleasure. His fingers gently running up and down your soaked folds, pressing down gently against your bundle of nerves.

 “I know I said I would make you feel good, but… there needs to be some kind of punishment too. Since you tried breaking up with me, and you kept secrets from me.” he chuckled, his eyes held nothing but warmth though, filled to the brim with love and lust. 

Suddenly Kuroo was hauling you up, easily pulling you back onto his lap, you could feel his hard member rubbing against the curve of your ass and then he was shifting you up once more and - another loud cry tore through your lips as he sheathed himself inside of you completely.

 The stretch burned as you struggled to accommodate his size, you would never get to this stretch, to him being buried deep inside of you.

 He hushed you tenderly, his lips pressing gently against your temple. His breath came out in hot, wet pants against the side of your neck.

 “Look at you.” he breathed, his eyes focused on the mirror that was propped against your wall, facing your bed. “Look at how fucking beautiful you are. Look at how well you take my cock kitten.” 

 Your eyes were screwed closed as you struggled to adjust to the new intrusion in your body. When you finally opened your eyes a loud mewl tore through your swollen lips.

 Kuroo had your back pressed tightly against his chest, your legs hung over the side of his muscular thighs, his thick member buried deep in your cunt.

 The scene before you was incredibly lewd. The way your pussy lips were stretched around his thick cock was on full display, your bare body covered in sweat and flushed red. The dazed look on your face and the tears gathering in your eyes; it was too much.

 Kuroo had his chin resting against your shoulder, his eyes never leaving the mirror as he took in every inch of you.

 “S-So embarrassing.” You whined again, attempting to turn your face away so you no longer had to stare at yourself in the mirror.

 Kuroo wasn’t having any of that, his strong fingers gripped your chin easily, forcing your head back towards the front. 

 “Don’t look away.” he commanded into the shell of your ear. “I want you to watch.” he began moving, his hips bucking up, sliding in and out of your velvety walls. “I want you to see how absolutely perfect you are. I want you to see how well you take my cock, I want you to see yourself cum. I want you to see how good I make you feel.”

 Your lips were parted, moans spilling out of your mouth as you watched the way your breasts moved with each hard thrust of his hips, the way your cunt stretched around his swollen member that continuously disappeared inside of your body.

 “You make the sweetest faces. Fuck look at how wet you are for me kitten.” Kuroo groaned lowly into your ear, his tongue flickering out against the skin. His eyes never left your form, cat-like and dangerous as you took what he gave you.

 “Do you hear that?” he murmured lowly. “Fuck you’re so soaked for me.” over the rustling of sheets and your moans the soft squelching noises of your soaked cunt could be heard.

 “Should I make you cum?” he breathed, his hand reaching down, his fingers brushing against your parted folds that were stretched tightly around his cock. His eyes were glued to the obscene image before him, memorized with the way you engulfed him completely. 

 “Please.” you sobbed, overstimulated tears now rolling down your cheeks. “Tetsu, please.” 

 He moaned softly, fingers reaching up to rub at your clit. 

 It didn’t take long before you began unraveling, from the quick swipes of his fingers against your bundle of nerves, from the way that his member filled you to the brim, reaching a devastating depth within you, it was no wonder you were reaching your end so quickly.

 You watched as your cunt gushed around him, trickling down his balls and staining the sheets below.

 “Fuck.” he hissed, teeth sinking into your bare shoulder as you convulsed against him. You were panting, crying at the rush of pleasure still coursing through your body.

 Kuroo stayed buried inside of you, waiting for you to catch your breath, your walls fluttering around him. He wouldn’t last long. But he needed you to cum again.

 “Give me another one kitten, I know you can do it.” he cooed, and then his hips started jack hammering into your core, hard and fast as his fingers worked against your clit once again.

 It was too much, overstimulating, sharp and biting, and you took it all. 

You sobbed loudly as your end approached, faster this time, but far more devastating. Especially when you felt his release, Kuroo painted your insides a beautiful white as he spilled himself deep within your core.

 You could feel your ears ringing, vaguely registering his gentle praises as he stretched you across the bed, sliding out of your puffy and swollen cunt carefully. You could feel his warmth seeping out, trailing down the length of your legs, but you were far too exhausted to care, to clean up.

 He pulled the sheets over your body pulling you against his sweaty chest, his strong fingers brushing away the hair that clung to the sides of your face.

 “I love you.” he breathed, a gentle smile covering his lips as he gazed down at you. “You’re so beautiful. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

 You sighed softly, a sweet smile grazing your lips as you stared back at him. “I love you Tetsu. I don’t ever want to be without you again.” you nuzzled your face into his chest, his arms wrapping around your body tightly.

 “I didn’t spend all that time convincing you to go out with me for you to leave so quickly. You’re stuck with me, and my stupid club.” he grinned at you.

 “That’s okay. I really missed spending time with Kenma.”

 “Oi.”

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu fanfics #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou x you #Kuroo Tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo x you #haikyuu smut #haikyuu fluff #kuroo smut #kuroo tetsurou smut #kuroo tetsuro smut #kuroo fluff #kuroo tetsurou fluff #kuroo tetsuro fluff #requests #haikyuu imagines #kuroo imagines #kuroo oneshots

[girlinlotsoffandoms]

she's her daddy's girl, her momma's world - chapter 6

like my mother does

Maya is in a mommy phase and Kelly isn't handling it well

Read on AO3

Kelly Severide was in a mood.

Everyone on second shift could tell by the way he sulked around the station. Not even Stella entering the room, which always made Severide smile and his eyes shine, seemed to dispel the dark cloud hovering over him.

Stella gave him a playful frown and squeezed his arm as he passed her on the way out of the common room. She watched him go then continued to the coffee maker with a smile and a shake of her head. The others looked at her curiously—Stella didn’t seem at all affected by his mood. Granted she was probably use to it more than they were, but gloomy Severide tended to affect them all.

Cruz looked out at the app floor from his spot at end of the kitchen counter, making sure Severide was out of earshot, before turning his attention back to Stella. “Stella, what the hell is going on with Severide?! He has been doom and gloom since you two got here this morning.”

Stella chuckled as she finished pouring her coffee, then turned to face the group, leaning against the counter. “It’s Maya.” 

“Is she ok?” Casey asked, his attention peaked at the mention of his goddaughter.

“Yeah, she’s fine,” Stella was quick to assure. She sighed. “She’s just in a really big mommy phase right now and….it’s been rough on all of us.”

Capp snorted, amused. “So he’s moping around because Maya wants you to read her a bedtime story instead of him?”

“It’s more than that,” Stella argued with a glare aimed at the Squad member. “Maya, who is the biggest daddy’s girl, only wants me to do things with her. Bath time, bed time, helping her get dressed, dropping her off at daycare, she only wants me. That shift I had at Molly’s a few nights ago? Maya was so upset that Kelly was the only one there to help that she made herself sick.”

Capp raised his eyebrows, shocked. The others looked shocked too. They all adored Maya and knew how much of a daddy’s girl she was, and they couldn’t place what Stella was telling them with the little girl they all knew and loved. No wonder Severide was so moody.

“Hopefully it won't last that much longer," Stella continued, taking a long drink of her coffee.

"Is this the first time this has happened?" Matt asked. He didn’t remember the last time his best friend acted like this—life with Stella and then Maya had done wonders for the man.

"No, but this is the first time it's happened since the shooting and the kidnapping," Stella said quietly. “Kelly still has so much unresolved guilt around that day so everything’s hitting him a little harder this time.”

Stella hated thinking about that day; it was single-handedly the worst day of her life, thinking she’d lost her husband and their little girl. Three months had passed, and life had returned to normal for the Severide family but memories and reminders of that horrible day still lingered, rearing their ugly heads every now and then.

Any humor at the situation went out the window once Stella mentioned the shooting and kidnapping that had rocked their world. It didn’t take them long to realize the gravity of the situation.

“Is it really that bad?” Brett asked from her spot next to Violet.

Stella frowned, thinking back over the last few days.

“Mommy! Come pway with me!” Maya called from the living room.

Stella and Kelly shared a look. Kelly had been sitting in the living room, right within Maya’s view while Stella was in the kitchen working on getting lunch prepared.

“I’m making lunch baby,” Stella replied. “Why don’t you play with daddy?”

“No!!!!!” Maya yelled. “No pway with daddy! I wanna pway with you!”

Stella looked over at Kelly and she could’ve sworn she saw his heart break. 

Maya had been a daddy’s girl since she was born, always choosing her dad over her mom.The two had a bond like no other—Kelly was obsessed with her and Maya thought he hung the moon. That bond had only grown after Maya had been kidnapped and Kelly had been shot, the trauma of the day and the relief of the reunion forging a stronger relationship. Stella would’ve been jealous if it wasn’t so damn cute.

Maya and Kelly were practically inseparable.

Until they weren’t.

Kelly knew it was normal for kids, toddlers especially, to go through phases of wanting one parent over the other but for her entire life, Maya seemed to be the exception. He could count on one hand (and have fingers left over) the number of times Maya chose Stella over him. It had been a long time, over a year, since

 Maya’s last ‘mommy phase’ but each one seemed to last longer and hurt his heart even more.

It had been two days since Maya’s most recent mommy phase had started, but Kelly could’ve sworn it’d been months.

“Pwease mommy?!” Maya asked, her voice taking on more of a whine.

Kelly got off the couch and walked into the kitchen, meeting Stella at the island. “I’ve got lunch. Go play with Maya.” Kelly said, subdued.

Stella looked at him sadly. “Kelly—”

“I know,” he said softly, giving her a small smile that didn’t make it to his eyes.

Stella gave him a sympathetic smile and squeezed his arm as she passed him on her way into the living room.

                                            ~~~ 

Stella rushed into the loft, throwing the door open in her rush to get inside. She had been at Molly’s, working a shift with Herrmann when Kelly called. She barely heard anything he said over the wail of Maya’s sobs in the background, but she didn’t need too. The sound of her daughter crying was enough to have Stella leaving Molly’s early, with barely an excuse thrown Herrmann’s way, and breaking several traffic laws in her hurry to get home.

The scene Stella walked in on was not what she was expecting. Kelly was staring at Maya from one end of the couch, looking more distraught than Stella had seen in a long time, Maya’s favorite purple pajamas next to him. On the other end of the couch was Maya. The little girl’s eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, her sobs had lessened to hiccups, and next to her was the small trash can they’d used for her the last time she had been sick.

The door shutting behind her grabbed the attention of the two Severides and tears immediately filled Maya’s eyes again. She reached her arms out towards Stella. “Mommy!”

Stella dumped her bag by the front door and quickly walked over to the couch. She immediately lifted Maya into her arms and hugged her close. “What’s wrong baby?”

Maya shook her head and buried her face into Stella’s neck, using her little arms to squeeze herself impossibly closer to her mom.

Stella ran a hand up and down Maya’s back, trying her best to comfort the toddler. She looked over at Kelly, who had slowly gotten up from the couch. His movements were fatigued, not from physical exhaustion but from the mental and emotional toll the night had taken on him.

“What happened?” Stella asked, concerned.

Kelly sighed sadly. “She didn’t want to take a bath without you here. I decided it wasn’t worth the fight, so we skipped it and I tried to get her ready for bed, but she didn’t want me to help her. I barely got her to eat dinner without you here. She was upset and she got even more upset when I told her you were working tonight and wouldn’t be back for bedtime.”

“She cried so hard she made herself sick. I tried, but all she wanted was you.” Kelly added quietly. “That’s why I called.”

Stella’s heart broke for her husband, the devastation in his eyes impossible to miss. It had been nearly a week since Maya started her most recent mommy phase—the longest it had ever lasted—and it had never gotten this bad before. Add the fact that the three-month anniversary of the shooting and Maya’s kidnapping had just passed, and Kelly was convinced Maya hated him. Stella had tried, multiple times, to convince Kelly that Maya didn’t hate him, but his guilt about the shooting and kidnapping made him more stubborn than usual. 

Stella moved her hand from Maya’s back to place it on the side of Kelly’s head. She felt him lean into her hand and she knew he was trying to hide how much this was hurting him; he didn’t want Maya to see it. Soothingly, Stella rubbed her thumb across his jaw a few times. It eventually got the result she wanted—a small but genuine smile from her husband.

A few moments later, Kelly sighed and handed Maya’s pajamas to Stella. Stella took the jammies and gave Kelly one last lingering look before turning her attention back to the three year old in her arms. “All right baby girl, let’s go get you ready for bed.”

“No baff,” Maya said sleepily.

Despite everything, Stella chuckled. “No bath tonight, I promise, but it is way past your bedtime.”

Stella carried Maya off towards her bedroom. Kelly watched them go, staring after them until they disappeared from sight.   

Stella looked at her best friend, finally answering her question. “The night I left Molly’s early was the worst but it hasn’t gotten much better.”

Everyone looked sympathetic. Those who had kids understood the situation better than those who weren’t parents yet, but they could all imagine how hard this was on not only Severide, but Stella and Maya as well.

Brett got up from the table and walked over to Stella, wrapping her friend in a hug. “I’m sure things will be back to normal soon.”

“I hope so.” Stella mused, returning Brett’s hug with one arm. “I don’t know how much more Kelly can take.”

Before anyone could say anything else, the bells tolled, calling the entire station out on their first call of the day.

                                         … … …

Severide and Stella were exhausted when they got off shift, immediately going to the loft in hopes of getting a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. There had been back to back to back calls all shift, including a four alarm fire in the early morning that turned their 24 hour shift into a 28 hour shift.

Maya, who had spent the night at the Cruz house for a sleepover with Otis, had been dropped off at daycare that morning by Chloe, so Severide and Stella wouldn’t need to leave the loft until it was time to pick her up.

The second their heads hit the pillows they were out like a light, sleeping for hours without waking up to even eat or use the bathroom. If it wasn’t for the alarm sounding on Stella’s phone, alerting them it’s time to pick up Maya from daycare, they would’ve easily slept for a few more hours.

Stella silenced her alarm and climbed out of bed. Daycare pick up was something Kelly would do, or they’d do it together, but with Maya’s mommy phase it was just easier for Stella to do it alone. She gave Kelly a kiss as he became more awake and headed out.

Sleep after a long shift was great, but there was no better cure than spending time with her husband and their little girl. 

                                       … … …

Kelly was in the kitchen, back to the front door, when Stella and Maya returned home. Focused on prepping dinner, he didn’t notice his wife’s mini-me running towards him until her tiny body collided with his legs.

Surprised, he looked down and saw Maya looking up at him with a smile, her little arms wrapped around his legs. “Hi daddy!”

Severide looked from his daughter to his wife, who was standing by the island with a smile on her face. “Looks like it’s over,” Stella mouthed.

All the stress Kelly had been holding onto the past few days seemed to melt away at that moment and a genuine smile graced his face for the first time in days. Ignoring the food he’d been working with, Kelly bent down and picked Maya up hugging her tightly against his chest. “Hi baby! I missed you!”

“Me miss you too!” Maya replied sweetly. The three-year-old probably had no idea the emotional turmoil her father had been through the past few days or the true meaning behind his words, but that didn’t matter.

Kelly placed a kiss on her forehead and hugged her one more time before shifting her onto his hip. “How was your day? Did you have fun?”

Maya nodded excitedly and dove into an animated retelling of her day as Kelly went back to prepping their dinner for the night. He listened intently, and responded when appropriate, all with a smile on his face because wow did he miss this.

Stella watched her two favorite people with a smile on her face. Things had gone back to normal seamlessly, as if Maya’s mommy phase had never even happened. As she walked over to join them and lend an extra set of hands since it was clear Kelly wouldn’t be putting Maya down any time soon, her husband smiled at her.

It was a real smile, one that shone in those blue eyes she loved so much, and everything felt right in the world again.

#she's her daddy's girl her momma's world #chapter 6 #maya severide #kelly severide #stella kidd #stellaride #chicago fire

[xtodorcki]

“Sacrifice” Reader x Adult Trio

Prompt: simply something were to happen on a mission w/ adult trio and one of you has to be the sacrifice.

Warnings: none just sad bc I’m sad

.

.

.

• Hisoka:

You had begged Hisoka to let you come with him on this mission, it had been a while since the both of you worked together and he couldn’t deny that you two made a good team but the more time went on, the more he got over protective with you and letting you come with him was like him having to babysit and do the mission all at once and he couldn’t risk losing you, not under his supervision.

When you finally went on the mission, you realized how hard it actually was until it came down to one last option at the back of your head. You didn’t want to think about it, you couldn’t so you continued to get up and fight with everything you had in you. Hisoka was trying his hardest to keep his eyes on you while also battling the main boss behind the whole operation you two were trying to take down. Hisoka simply thought this would be a fun interesting battle that he could probably easily win but with you here, he had to make sure you were safe above all.

Minutes passed and you were on the ground heaving from how exshaunted and beaten down you were. Your body ached but your heart broke more when you took a glance at Hisoka and seen how hard he was trying- for you. You knew in that second you had to do what you were thinking about earlier. Sacrificing yourself for Hisoka’s safety. Your power that was held inside of you was a deadly weapon, he knew that but what he didn’t know was that the power you held all these years can easily kill you. You kept it locked away for as long as you could, your past with your powerful family was traumatizing and you refused to use the power your abusive father passed on to you but the look on Hisoka’s face, the look you’ve never seen before was fear.

In that moment, it clicked and you knew you had to use it for this and knew you had to keep him alive at all costs. You couldn’t care less about yourself or your own life but Hisoka, you cared for his more. You never knew you could love someone this much that it made your heart ache. You slowly stood up, wiping the blood mixed with tears off your face and had used everything in your power to grab onto the boss and held on as you took everything you had in you to absorb the both of you with the intense power, practically burning you both alive.

Hisoka got knocked down from the sudden explosion, his eyes wide and strands of hair rested over his bloody forehead. He ran over to where you were, his heart racing and panic filled his head. Once he had seen your body, he knew what you did for him. He kneeled down and scooped up your lifeless body, emotionless. He didn’t know what to feel or what to think, you were all he had left. He had pushed the small strands from your face, sighing as the tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

“Thank you, darling.” Was all he said, carrying you away from the scene and through the woods, bringing you back home.

.

.

Chrollo:

Chrollo had known you for quite some time and once you joined the spiders, the relationship between you two had blossomed rather quickly. It was unexpected, you had only joined to get revenge on the spiders for stealing precious items from the small town you came from but the more you had talked to Chrollo, the more you realized how much in common you two had and after that it went all downhill.

Your judgment was clouded, the only thoughts left in your brain was of Chrollo and you disappeared from your town years ago to stay with him and be wherever he was but the chain user had gotten to him in ways you didn’t want to believe and the chain wrapped around his heart had prevented him from speaking to the spiders and that had broken you down heavily.

It’s been months since you seen or heard from him and it had sent you in a spiral of sadness and rage to the point where you had gotten into a murderous rampage throughout the city, ripping apart people and burning places to the ground. Feitan had tried his best to look after you but it was no use considering how powerful you truly were and he noticed that there was no hope to tame a wild animal without their alpha, it was pointless.

Chrollo finally got light of what you were doing and it had made his heart ache more and more until finally he decided to do what was needed to be done. To see you. He didn’t bothering caring about the rest of the spiders nor the judgment chain that wrapped around his heart, preventing him from seeing you but as broken as you both were, he wanted to make this sacrifice just to see your face one last time.

He had made the arrangements and made sure he had written letters out to everyone in the troupe and one especially for you before he made his way to the city you were in causing chaos. Once he stepped foot in the city, he was having second thoughts. Did he want to kill himself just to see your face one more time or should he wait until he could get the chain off, would you handle waiting for that long? He wasn’t too sure but his love for you was huge and deep, it was endless and he knew he had to see you and make you stop this madness.

His feet made their way around, trying to find the exact location you were staying at before settling inside and waiting for you. His hair hung over his face and the clothes he wore were just a plain t-shirt and jeans. He was nervous, his hands were actually sweaty for the first time since he first met you. Suddenly, the door opened up and he saw a glimpse of your face and his heart began to race. You both made eye contact and you didn’t think twice before clinging yourself onto him. The hug was tight, your chests pressed against each other before your lips had met.

He knew he had to speed up this process, he knew it was coming in a matter of minutes so he quickly pulled back and made sure to cup your cheeks to keep you in place.

“Listen to me, I don’t have much time. I couldn’t handle not seeing your face or not being able to touch you and I finally realized that my last breath should be with you. You’ve made me open my eyes and see the world in a much better light, for that I’m forever grateful and I want you to live a long happy life, even if it’s without me. Got it?” He had rushed everything out, wiping the tears that had slipped and rolled down your cheeks.

“Chrollo- why,” Suddenly his eyes went wide for a second, the chain stabbing him clean in the heart and the whole time he kept his eyes on you, never letting go and you had to catch him as he fell, gasping for breath as his last seconds were kept focused on you.

“I love you, don’t forget that.” He barely managed to speak before his heart stopped beating and the life drained from his eyes.

You had sat there, holding his lifeless body close to yours as you tried to gather your thoughts and take in what had just happened. He risked his life to see you and for some reason you couldn’t handle that or process it. You knew you couldn’t manage without him and he wanted you to try. You had thought about years ago to when you two first met and had much he’s changed you, definitely made you crazy but in ways you didn’t mind.

Questions flew around your mind, are you going to be fine without him? Look around the city and look at what you did for him being gone for a few months and now he’s- gone forever. You felt stupid, it was your fault he came here and the pain thag swelled up your heart was so painful that it could kill you. It took you hours of holding onto his body to finally come up with a conclusion. As much as you loved him, you didn’t bring yourself to read the full letter he wrote to you, most of it consisting of living on for him and leading the Troupe but deep down Chrollo knew while writing it that the end of this story would be similar to Romeo and Juliet, the both of you dead inside the hotel room and he also accepted that fate.

As you got up from the floor, picking up a knife from your jacket pocket that was on the bed, you made your way back to lay beside him. The ache in your heart grew and grew more as you laid there before finally you made a sacrifice and that was to be with Chrollo. You pushed the knife in your chest, the sharp objecting instantly hitting your heart and your eyes rolled to the side to take one more look at him before the life drained out of you.

.

.

• Illumi:

Illumi was never the type to be openly affectionate or caring towards other people. It had actually taken him years to even begin to show you that side and openly admit to somewhat feeling a different way when he was around you.

He was a quiet but gentle soul, that’s what you thought anyway but on the outside he was very cold and mysterious and that’s what you liked about him and that’s what drew you in.

He was very good at his job to say the least, never messed up and never ruined anything, he always got the job done and went back home or went back to wherever you stayed at. This time it was different, he had pushed himself a little too far and put his trust into your hands and had let you come along with him to do a job, assassinate a big well known man.

Illumi had repeatedly told you to stay close and to not get into any trouble and he would do the job, you were basically just a puppy following behind him and kept yourself tight on his trail until you had turned your attention away from him for a second, just one and that’s all it took for you to get yourself caught up in a ugly situation.

The people had taken you in as hostage and tried to use you against Illumi but you knew better than to put your life into his hands, he would leave you if it had to come down to his life. As much as you never said it aloud or wanted to admit it, he was afraid of losing you and didn’t want to put you in any danger.

You had met eyes with his, the cold stare on his face was making it hard to tell if he had any real emotion and if he was actually upset at the situation you got caught in. Your brain had wondered endlessly and you knew that you would be dead and you’ll have to be dead for him to do his job right and get out of here without a scratch.

Your eyes glanced around, trying to pick up the courage to try to fight the guys that held you hostage and you ignored the endless screaming of them threatening to shoot you if you didn’t stop but, you didn’t stop. You kept going, pushing them more and more until the gunshot echoed throughout the building.

Illumi’s eyes stared at you, taking the chance to kill everyone in seconds while they were distracted with you but he was a little too late as he seen your body limp on the cold floor, the bullet killing you instantly.

Illumi was never the type to sacrifice his life for someone else or care for someone but when it came to you, the amount of warmth he felt when he was around you was something new. It was thrilling yet scary in his eyes but he couldn’t shake you off, even when he tried and tried- you always came back.

The emotionless stars upon his face had stayed still, a small frown forming as he stared at you not knowing what to do, what to say. He ruined this mission, maybe if he had trust his gut to not take you and leave you back then you would still be alive. Now he was back to being alone and cold. The feeling of warmth he never felt from anyone, not even his own parents, was swept away in an instant along with your life.

.

.

.

Send requests plssssss

• Masterlist

#hisoka morrow imagines #hisoka morow x reader #hisoka imagines #hisoka x reader #hisoka #Chrollo #chrollo x you #chrollo imagines #chrollo imagine #chrollo x reader #chrollo headcanons #illumi x you #hxh illumi #Illumi x reader #Illumi imagines #hxh x reader #hxh imagines #hxh headcanons

[angsty-omi]

the friend zone.

levi ackerman x reader

no proofread— i wrote this at 4am

tw: mentions of blood, cursing, and levi being a fucking dick.

out of all the comrades in the survey corps, levi only fancied a few amount. hange, erwin, and you. you couldn’t understand why, it wasn’t like you were any special. honestly if you didn’t dye your hair pink using a mixture of berries and flour, he wouldn’t have even noticed.

it all started when everyone was in an ordered formation, while levi eyed down every single newbie. not necessarily saying anything, just staring into their soul. until, you caught his eye, and immediately he skipped over everyone else to face you. the people before you in line sighed with relief. maybe he was here to compliment my hair or critique my stance. it was none of that. in fact, he blew your knees so you’d fall forward. under your ragged pants, you could feel the skin on your knee starting to bleed. you looked up at him with shock, and he grabbed the back of your hair putting you much closer to his face. you couldn’t help but admire his tired eyes, or his wrinkles from furrowing his eyebrows. aside from that, he’s actually quite handsome. his voice interrupts your thoughts.

“scrub this shit off or else i will feed you to them” levi scolded and shoved your head onto the ground.

them as in the titans? you feared. as you looked over the other commanders, they inadvertently looked away from the two of you. you politely complied, and hoped he and the others ignored the tears running down your face. once you got to your quarters, you went straight to the shower. the color was slowly but surely getting off, showing your brown hair underneath. it’s been a while since you’ve seen your normal hair color. back in your village, you were known as the one with the artsy look, which was basically a polite way of saying the weird one. the shower head was also burning your fresh wounds from that morning and then some. you couldn’t help but think about your experience with levi and how he a complete dick he was. you swore to never get close to him nor acknowledge his presence unless required.

so how did you get here? leaning back on his chair with your feet on the table, waiting for him to come back from training the new fleet. shortly after, your not-so-fun first encounter, levi warmed up to you through back and forth banter and snarky comebacks. you’ve learned his lingo, when he says “i hate you,” it means the opposite— to the extent of “you’re okay.” if he says, “brat,” then he actually likes you. it’s the people he doesn’t remember the names of that should be scared of him. you read him like a book and vice versa.

he knew you, a bit too well. over the past few months, he could tell that you’ve started to like him afar from just friends. while he loved you as a comrade, his heart did not have the capacity to have an actual lover. so, he’s been hinting for you to not confess. scared is a term he never uses, but this was one of the few that did. levi was never scared of titans, literal human-eating monsters, rather, he was scared of you confessing your feelings for him. as the meticulous man that he his, he anticipated that today was the day that you’d express your feelings. how? over the past week, you’ve been trying to pry any sort of response for your unrequited feelings. while you thought you were slick, levi knew. that’s why he stalled the new members by running strenuous amounts of laps, because once he came back, you’d do it.

levi couldn’t hide from you any longer. with his hand on the knob, it slowly turned. there you were, with a bright smile on your face greeting him. it warmed his heart, platonically. your heart, however, was beating a million times faster once you saw him. you understood rejection was a high possibility, but you were at your limit.

“levi?” you fretted.

he nodded in response.

“you should sit down,”

levi took in a deep breath, knowing that this was the talk.

“i think i’m in love with you,” your eyes glossed. talking about your feelings always made you cry.

silence was your answer. even though, you knew this was a high chance, damnit did it hurt. you’ve been wounded by titans, and yet, this hurt the most. seeing levi’s face conflicted, trying to find the words to say to kindly reject you.

“y/n, listen you’re great. i love how you make me smile, your dumb jokes, snarky comments, and shitty roasts. but, i’m not in love with you, nor do i think i will ever.” he expressed, not looking at you in the eye. thinking, you were about to breakdown and cry, he was surprised to you see a stoic face.

“good, because i have other news.” you sighed, with a stressed out hand rubbing your temple.

news, what other news? what has she been keeping from me? levi wondered.

“my parents have found me a husband. at first, i completely shut it down. but then, starting to think of it, it would be nice to just leave and live a normal life. i was truly, truly, considering it but my love for you had to be addressed.”

“and i guess, since we’ve cleared that road... i’m leaving levi,” tears started dripping down your cheeks. looking up at levi, he had the same monotonous face. you couldn’t read what he was thinking.

“say something please” you begged.

“get out.”

“what?”

“i said get out.”

“what? why? you don’t even want to talk about this?”

“what is there to talk about? you’re leaving for some comfy lifestyle and ignoring reality. y/n we are literally dying every day. no one has the opportunity of being able to just leave. and yet, here you are leaving. you’re such a fucking pussy, i can’t believe i ever let you get this close. i was right when i first met you, you’re just some privileged girl who wanted to see a change of scenery.”

the love of your life just ended your whole career. but what was more upsetting? was that he was right. you were afraid. seeing all your friends dying was detrimental to your mental health and you saw this as a way to escape.

“you’re right, i am scared. of everything. but levi think to yourself why have i stuck out this long? why have i allowed myself to continue to serve after seeing all my comrades being ate up like chicken wings? because of you. i’m so fucking in love with you that i could handle all that. but if i don’t even have you what do i have left?” you sobbed.

“you still have me! just not that way and why does it have to be?”

“because seeing you so touchy with petra hurts. it fucking hurts seeing the man you love fall in with others!”

“seriously levi, tell me to my face that you don’t like her.”

again with the silence. something so loud, but so quiet.

you angrily slammed the door closed. your five year friendship, gone just like that. you leaned your back against the wooden door, slowly sliding down not feeling your legs. your sobs were loud, apparent that levi could hear it from the other side. if he could, he would. as soon as you felt your legs, you left.

once you got to your quarters, you grabbed your suitcase trying to pack as many things blindly. only ten minutes in, and you heard a knock at your door.

“leave me alone, i understood your message completely and now am leaving.” you screamed, knowing exactly who it was. the door slammed open with heavy pressure.

“what do you want levi,” you cried.

you felt arms wrap around your back with a head nestled into your neck.

“i think i’m in love with you too.” he whispered so quiet, that if you weren’t listening you’d miss it.

“you’re just saying that,”

“no i mean it. selfish enough, the thought of you being happy with someone other than me physically hurts my heart.”

now you’re silent.

“from the day i first landed my eyes on your ugly pink hair, to now you always had my attention one way or another. but it’s like, if i’ve accepted these feelings it’ll hurt even more if you die. i buried it down. down so far that on the surface it felt platonic. but your dumbass dug it back up.”

you swiftly turned around and pressed your lips against his. his eyes shocked at first, but then slowly melting into your lips. both desperate to show the other how much they mean to one another.

as you slowly pulled away, he instinctively moved forward which made you laugh.

“does this mean we’re something?” you gleamed.

“y/n” he said heavily.

your face dropped once again.

“you’re fucking ridiculous. are you serious levi?! i’m not going to wait for you forever. god knows how long i’ll live, and i won’t be dragged around like a little puppy.” you scolded, furious at yourself for thinking he changed.

you continued to rummage through your clothes and decided that it was enough.

“goodbye levi, i hope when you figure all your shit out you’ll finally be happy. whether it’s with yourself or with petra, but it sure as hell ain’t me.” you tipped your head at him, tears still blinding your eyesight.

if you had looked behind you, you would’ve saw levi crying. it wasn’t dramatic— no, more like tears were slipping that he himself didn’t even notice. this was the life he chose, and he knew he couldn’t get close with anyone. his young self never thought he would’ve found someone to truly care about. and if it meant letting his soulmate go, then so be it.

#attack on titan #levi angst #levi x reader #levi aot #levi fluff #aot fanfiction #aot smut #aot x reader

[julemmaes]

Oksy so don’t feel like you have to do this but nesta and the kids go out grocery shopping and they bump into THOMAS FUCKING MANDARY and Nesta gets super overwhelmed but she’s got the kids and shit so she pretends she’s fine

But later cass comes home and the kids tell him what happens.

(and maybe they have a talk on important stuff about being with someone who loves you and if someone hurts you they don’t love you and it’s beautiful Idk)

Loving And Caring

Nessian modern au set in the The Seven Of Us universe (masterlist)

acotar next gen fan fiction

A/N: This is the reason I’m gonna fail my English exam, so please enjoy:)

The children’s ages: Ezra is 11, Cal is 6, Nora is 3 and Celia is 2. Andra is kinda not born yet.

DON’T COME FOR ME FOR BEING SLOW AS FUCK OR FOR WRITING SUCH ANGSTY PROMPTS. I HAVE 70+ IN MY ASKS BOX AND THEY’RE ALL SO ANSGTY

Word count: 8,185

"I want it!"

"I don't-"

"No, I want this!"

"I said I wanted it first."

"You did not!"

"Mom!"

Nesta Archeron had been called many things in her life. Daughter first. Then sister and friend, woman. She had been appreciated by all the professors she had had the honor of meeting during her studies, who had called her the best in her classes. She had finally found someone who had sincerely called her love and then wife, and she would not give up that last acquired, very important title of mom for anything in the world, but-

Right then she just wanted to strap her kids to the cart and run.

Walking down the cereal aisle, she ran a hand over her swollen, ready-to-burst belly, realizing that she would have to trip and fall on her bump if she wanted to end the problem for good. The baby girl, for whom they still hadn't chosen a name, would be born in a few weeks, and if she didn't get rid of her, too, she would never find peace.

She giggled - or at least she thought she did - at those morbid, disturbing thoughts for which many people would surely have her locked up in a mental hospital, if they found out how often she admitted to wanting to abandon her children.

It had been such a tiring day. She had been home from work for a couple of months now, this fifth pregnancy was breaking her down physically and mentally. She was at the end, in her eighth month, but she would much rather have the last baby out and inside the cart with her sisters by now.

Celia and Nora were babbling something in their imperfect language, and Nesta's heart clenched for her little men at the thought that they would be outnumbered in a few weeks. She and Cassian had experienced that feeling only three years before, and yet she still hadn't forgotten the terror she had felt at the idea of her children turning against them.

They had created a small army.

Casting a quick glance at Ezra who was sneaking something into the cart, she huffed. If the others noticed that he had put a package of junk food in the basket, that would be the end of it.

Moments later, in fact, Cal was looking at the colored bag in the still empty cart with suspicious eyes, and Nesta wasn't going to wait for the fight over who could buy the most junk food that day to begin.

"Ezra, put the snacks back," she said rubbing her hands over her eyes.

Celia mumbled something as she sat inside the cart, and Nora, silently settled next to her, nodded, as if she understood what the other was talking about. It shouldn't have shocked her, but Nesta never ceased to be amazed by that way of communicating that only the two of them understood.

Ezra's icy eyes turned sad when he looked at her and he pouted, "But mom I need them for snacks for school."

Cal looked at him with a furrowed brow, "No you don't. I need them." then he turned to Nesta, "But I don't like these, can I have those?" he asked with a bright smile pointing across the aisle with a wave of his arm.

She leaned forward, sighing and not answering him. Nora looked up at her and reached out her hands toward her mom, letting her know she wanted to be held, but Nesta was aching.

Cal and Ezra hadn't stopped bickering for half a second, and Celia had cried all day because she wanted her dada. Nora had stayed in Nesta's arms the entire walk to the grocery store, and one way or another she knew she would have to carry her all the way back home as well, despite the unbearable back pain. It was less than two kilometers, but with a pregnancy running out and only one hand to restrain any possible child who threatened to throw themselves under the cars whizzing by, it became more mental work than physical.

When Nesta smiled lovingly at her, trying to make her understand that she couldn't hold her right then, Cal burst into tears.

Her daughters' little heads snapped up at their brother, and Nesta cursed herself for deciding to do something as stupid as taking her four young children to the grocery store on an evening when they were all visibly on edge and stressed.

"Dear, what happened?" she asked without even an ounce of concern in her voice. She knew full well that it was just a tantrum. She got confirmation of that when Ezra replied in a whiny tone that they couldn't both buy snacks, or they wouldn't know how to carry them home. At that point Cal's cry became a proper scream and Nesta had to close her eyes to avoid the judgmental stares of the people passing by.

She brought her hands to her temples, massaging her forehead in circular motions, and when she thought she could handle it without throwing up on each of her children, she leaned against the cart, circling around Ezra and crouching with no small amount of difficulty in front of Cal. One hand on her back and the other still clinging to the cart, she grunted as she put one knee on the ground. She felt Nora's little hand rest on hers as she began to speak, "Listen kiddo, we're all very tired and now your brother is going to put his snacks down too," she explained, giving Ezra an inquisitive look over her shoulder. The eldest son rolled his eyes, but he had Celia hand him the package and snortingly put it back. Cal sobbed, sniffling, and Nesta laid a hand on his shoulder, massaging his arm. "How about we read a book together tonight before bed?"

The boy's face scrunched up in a grimace of sadness, "But I want snacks." he sobbed louder. Nesta bit her lip, knowing full well that the fat tears on his cheeks weren't really for the snacks and that she couldn't give in and let them all buy something or she'd end up with two bags full of junk food to carry.

Cal hadn't slept that afternoon, as had everyone else, because of Celia's endless crying, and she hadn't wanted to take her afternoon nap until it was too late and Nora and Cal had gotten out of bed to go play in their rooms. At that point Nesta had been forced to let Celia go, but she knew that had meant agreeing to spend an evening with frustrated and not-rested children.

She was about to respond when a couple of older ladies walked by them, casting an annoyed look at Cal. Nesta would have liked to respond with an ugly hand gesture, but she couldn't do it in front of her children.

In that moment of distraction she hadn't realized that Celia had also started calling her and now, casting a quick glance at her daughter, she felt a very bad feeling sink into her stomach at the sight of the little girl's tear-filled eyes.

She looked at Ezra, taking a deep breath, and noticed that even the oldest of her children seemed bothered by the course of action Nesta had taken. She felt tremendous guilt at seeing that the only one of her children who didn't seem disappointed or angry with her was Nora.

It all got worse when one of the two ladies who had just passed her said loud enough so she could hear her, "I don't understand why some people don't stop with their first child. It's obvious she can't even handle one, listen to her screaming."

Nesta felt the emotion grow in her throat.

"When someone isn't born to be a parent, it shows immediately. She's one of those awful mothers who doesn't know how to take care of her children." the other added.

Nesta caught her breath, fixing her gaze in Cal's. Celia was crying by now, spluttering to be picked up as she tried to keep her balance inside the cart.

She wasn't going to answer. She wasn't going to answer.

"Let's go home." she whispered suddenly, laying a hand on the small of her back and pulling herself up with a tremendous effort, a twinge of pain went through her legs and back, "Cal, dear, we'll buy the snacks another time, for now we'll just take the bread and milk, tomorrow come back with daddy and take whatever you want, okay?" she spoke quickly, in a high, steady voice so that all four of them could hear her. She just hoped they didn't hear how desperately she was trying not to burst into tears over what the ladies had just said.

Cal nodded, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his shirt and immediately stopping crying. Ezra looked thoughtful, but he too had stopped pouting. The only one who still looked upset was Celia, who followed her by walking inside the cart, moving where she stood.

Seeing the little girl's red face and dripping nose, arms outstretched toward her, Nesta heard only the words "awful mother" repeated in her mind.

With a knot in her throat and a cry that she was sure would break free as soon as she stepped into the house, Nesta pushed forward, bumping the cart with her belly as she picked up Celia and placed her on her side. The little girl immediately stopped crying, resting her head on her mother's shoulder and cupping her tiny hand over her shirt.

Now, beyond the emotional wound that had just been inflicted on her, Nesta could feel the pain in her back growing with every step she took. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stop a sob that threatened to break that composed attitude she had.

Everything hurt so bad.

Cal was running in front of them all, stomping his feet on the ground and making the little lights on his shoes glow. Ezra was walking beside her, one hand on the edge of the cart as he mouthed off to Nora, but he had to stop when Nesta froze in the middle of the aisle, taking an abrupt breath. She brought a hand to her belly, feeling the baby move and kick, only adding to the pain.

"Ezra, love," she breathed, stepping aside and holding Celia against her side, then asked between her teeth as the baby continued her assault inside her, "could you push the cart?"

He nodded, his face lighting up as if she had asked him to take control of a ship.

Celia began to squirm on her side and Nesta had the urge to drop her, not voluntarily, but it all hurt so much that her body was begging her to sit up, to take all that unnecessary weight off her arms.

At the idea that she would have to walk home she felt her eyes grow heavy with tears.

She put Celia back in the cart, breathing a sigh of relief as some of the pain eased in her lower back. Nora was now standing and smiling at Ezra, who was struggling to see where he was going past his sister.

Nesta looked up just as Cal hopped out of the aisle and fell to the ground, crashing into someone's cart. Or rather, as someone ran over him with their cart and slamming him to the ground.

She didn't even think about it as she started walking as fast as her body would allow towards her son, leaving the other three behind. By the time she reached him, Cal was standing there laughing in amusement and was running his hands over his pants to get the dust off his palms. Once she made sure he wasn't hurt, she was ready to yell at whoever had dropped her son, ready to take out all her frustration and doubts on the stranger, when she heard a voice that sent chills down her spine.

"Nesta Archeron?"

She moved her head so fast she was surprised she hadn't snapped her neck, but her brain didn't have time to process the pain the jolt had caused her, because there standing before her was Tomas Mandray.

She couldn't believe it.

Any thought of yelling at the stranger vanished like an echo in her mind.

How was it possible that he was there?

"Is it really you?" he asked her with wide eyes and an incredulous smile on his face. He circled the cart, shifting his gaze to Cal, and Nesta felt the overwhelming instinct to grab her son and hide him behind her. When Tomas reached out a hand toward him, ruffling his hair, she felt vomit rise in her throat. They had to get out of that place immediately. "I can't believe it." he voiced her thoughts, "Is this yours?" he asked looking into her eyes again.

This... he was talking about Cal.

She couldn't find the words and continued to stare at the man in front of her with wide eyes - scared eyes, if you knew Nesta, if you knew where to look. And Tomas knew it. Tomas had always known it.

She heard Ezra reach them, and then something slammed into her side. She didn't need to lower her head to catch a glimpse of Nora's little pigtails of black hair or hear Celia's amused giggle.

Tomas snorted a laugh out of his nose, crossing his arms over his chest, "Are they all yours?" then moved his gaze to her belly to bring it back up to her breasts and Nesta wanted to say something to him, to insult him, to hit him, to take him away from her children, but she felt her heart pounding in her throat and the air couldn't reach her lungs.

That tone-

That tone wasn't of someone who was happy to hear that you'd made a new life for yourself after they'd managed to destroy you completely. It wasn't the tone of an old friend who you hadn't seen in years and who you're about to agree to hang out with and tell them about everything that happened in your lives.

No, it was the tone he had used every day, every hour, when he needed to belittle her, when he needed to make her feel insignificant, worthless.

"Mom?"

Nesta turned her head so slowly toward her son, blinking, that she must have seemed like another person entirely. No longer the proud, strong woman she'd shown everyone for years on that side. Ezra had one eyebrow arched, as if wondering what was going on, and was clasping hands with a jumping Celia.

She didn't have the energy to turn around, to look at the man who had pushed her to the bottom of the barrel and destroyed her, but she managed to throw out a weak, "Kids we have to go, we're not taking anything." then turning to Cal, she took his arm, pulling him towards his siblings, "Let's go."

She felt Tomas' eyes creeping over her like slimy hands. She could still remember the last time he'd touched her, when she'd gone over the edge, offering herself to him to avoid yet another fight or worse.

For that, when his true hand tightened around her wrist, pulling her slightly to let her stay there, she flinched.

"Nesta."

She spun around, bringing her free hand to her belly for protection. When the little girl inside her kicked again, making her groan through her teeth in pain, Tomas smiled in a way that made Nesta hope she was anywhere but there.

"Is she kicking?"

And then it all happened quickly. She couldn't move, couldn't pull away, as the grip on her wrist tightened and Tomas pulled her closer to him and placed his other hand on her stomach, next to hers. A soundless sob escaped her control and her breath labored as she felt his fingers move over her shirt.

She was going to throw up.

She gave a tug so hard that the twinge of pain started at her wrist and reached her elbow, but she was free. She smacked the hand on her, taking several steps back and bringing Cal with her. She had started pushing the front of the cart, trying to position it in the direction they had come from.

She met Ezra's gaze for a moment, before her son's eyes slipped behind her, on Tomas' figure.

"Ezra." she called to him in a firm voice. Four pairs of eyes snapped in his direction. That was the tone of a tired mother issuing orders to her children at the end of the day, "Eyes on me."

She didn't want anything of Tomas's to come into contact with her children. She didn't want him to contaminate them the way he had contaminated her.

She lifted Cal off the ground and the child quietly let her pick him up without too much of a fuss. She didn't feel the strain at all as she pulled him high enough to put him in the cart with the girls. Looking at her oldest, she hoped she could secure him like she was doing with the other three, but he was too big to fit in the cart himself.

Before she could tell him to follow her without saying a word, Tomas spoke again.

"What a beautiful name, Ezra," she felt the venom bind each letter.

Ezra was about to turn around, probably to thank him, as she and Cassian had taught him, but Nesta squeezed his shoulder, "Keep looking ahead and walking, I don't want you talking to him."

"Always so fucking obnoxious," Tomas spat at that point.

Nesta froze in her tracks. She could feel him following them as he tortured her. Ezra froze beside her, tugging at her sleeve to get her attention.

Always so obnoxious. You're useless, worthless. I'm the only person who will ever be able to put up with your bullshit. You'll never find anyone else.

She felt the panic rise, the agitation for one of her children to realize how uncomfortable she was at that moment. She closed and opened her hands on the cart's handlebars, hoping to relieve some of that tension.

"I'm amazed to see you with so many children," he continued, creeping up beside her and stopping in front of her cart, blocking her way with his. She looked up at him, feeling the air scratch at her throat. He had aged, she could see it in the features around his eyes, his mouth - he had aged and yet still had the same look. "I didn't think you'd ever date again after I left you."

I left you. She wanted to tell him. I had the courage to leave.

She didn't answer him, straightening her back.

Tomas smirked, lowering his gaze to her daughters and his smile widened even more.

"Don't look at them," she snapped, still maintaining her composure.

The man looked up at her one more time, "They'll be just as pretty as their mother when they grow up." then looked at Cal and Ezra, sliding a finger over the edge of his cart. "Who's the father?"

"Dada." muttered Celia, flapping her little hands.

Nesta wanted to recoil at the sound. She didn't want Tomas to hear her talk, didn't want him to watch them. She didn't want them breathing his same air.

"It's none of your business and now move over," she whispered to him. All she could think about was the fact that she had to get her children out of there as soon as possible. Therefore, when he didn't move an inch, she added. "Please."

Tomas laughed. He laughed, leaning his head back and clutching his hand around the mesh of her cart. "Nessie Nessie," he clicked his tongue on his palate, a remnant of laughter in the tone of his voice that made the woman's gut tangle, "I haven't seen you in so long. I want to know everything."

"Please." she repeated, as her eyes filled with tears. His own widened slightly, surprised to see such a reaction in her. She didn't care if he saw her weak, she didn't care if she had to get down on her knees. He was keeping them trapped, and Nesta knew he wouldn't let them leave until he squeezed even the last drop of sanity out of her.

If Ezra still realized what was going on, she didn't know, and it scared her even more. Cal was looking at her and looked worried, probably having never seen her so shaken in her life.

She was about to beg him a third time. Beg him to free her from whatever that game was that they were stuck in at that moment, but someone said her name. Ezra looked behind them and Nesta saw the shadow of a smile on his face, prompting her to turn around in turn. A choked sound escaped her throat as she bit her upper lip to keep from bursting into tears, and a wave of gratitude washed over her.

"Miss Archeron," the man smiled at her. Drakon Cretea had been Nesta and Cassian's neighbor for years now. He and his wife Myriam had babysat their children so many times that they were their go-to people. In fact, Celia and Nora had snapped to their feet at the sound of the voice of the acquired grandfather they loved so much.

Nesta didn't waste a moment turning the cart so that it faced Drakon. The children, Ezra included, began to cheer happily at having met a familiar face, and Nesta allowed herself to look over her shoulder.

With such relief that she thought she might collapse to the ground, she saw that Tomas was already pulling away, and as he turned the corner, pulling into another aisle, she took a deep breath through her nose, closing her eyes.

She had made it.

***

Cassian was exhausted.

He had spent the entire day grading exams for first-year students with his aide, and it was as if he could see the letters behind his eyelids every time he blinked. It was much more feasible to work in the university library, where he didn't risk being interrupted by a child every five minutes, but he only tried to do it once or twice a month during exam sessions, knowing full well how exhausting it was for Nesta to keep up with all the children together until late in the evening, especially now that Andra was about to arrive.

"Andra." he murmured into the silence of his car. Nesta kept telling him that they weren't sure that would be the name of their fifth child, but Cassian didn't care. He just needed to name his wife's belly when talking to his daughter.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he turned off the car in the driveway and stepped out, stretching his arms up just enough to make his back crack.

Glancing at the watch on his wrist, he huffed. It was too late for his girls to still be awake, but maybe he'd be able to say goodnight to Cal and Ezra.

He had warned Nesta that he was going to be late, and she had simply replied that she would leave dinner ready in the kitchen for when he returned.

Opening the front door, he immediately saw two little dark heads popping up from above the couch. Cal was already running at him when he closed the door behind him and jumped on him as soon as he had put his stuff down, "Dad!"

"Kiddo!" said Cassian throwing him into the air.

Cal laughed waving his arms, "Sssh," he scolded him still laughing, "the girls are sleeping."

"Oops," dad made a guilty face, stopping their game and putting Cal down.

Ezra was too focused on watching TV and wasn't paying the slightest attention to Cassian, but he walked over to the couch anyway, lowering himself just enough so he could leave a kiss on his hair, "Hi love." he murmured to him.

The little boy's head snapped toward him and with a crooked smile on his face and his pajama collar in his mouth, he said, "Hi dad."

Cassian scoffed amused, ripping his pajamas from between his teeth, "How many times have I told you not to eat your clothes?"

"Sorry," Ezra said, not sounding sorry at all.

Cal had gone back to lying next to his brother and they both seemed too caught up in the cartoon to pay any attention to it, so he went into the kitchen, loosening the tie around his neck and praying that Nesta had cooked something good - though the opposite was quite unlikely considering the woman's innate cooking skills.

He moaned with delight when he realized it was the meatballs she always made when she didn't feel like cooking and, taking the plate, he headed back to the living room. He plopped down in between his sons, taking the pajamas out of Ezra's mouth again and offering them both a meatball.

"So, what have you guys been up to today?" asked Cassian with a full mouth, slipping off his shoes and placing his feet on the coffee table.

First Cal and then Ezra told him in full detail about what they had done at school and then about the fact that none of them had slept that afternoon. Cassian was surprised to find out that Cal could still stand up without getting any rest.

When they got to the point where Nesta had taken them out walking and they had made it all the way to the supermarket, he had stopped them.

"Guys come on," he looked at them with incredulous eyes, "I told you to keep her home."

It was true. Lately Nesta had been pushing her limits when the doctors had told her to exert herself and stress as little as possible. With childbirth imminent too, it was risky for her to walk around without any other adults.

Ezra had the decency to look guilty, "I know, but-"

"We also met a weird dude," Cal interrupted him.

Cassian looked at him taking on a confused expression, "Weird?"

"Yeah, he knew mom," Ezra nodded, looking at the TV and talking thoughtlessly. He was bowing his head slowly and Cassian unconsciously extended a hand towards him, shutting his mouth before he could start chewing on the fabric once again. He looked at him at that point, continuing the story, "Mom was all weird, though."

"Weird." repeated Cassian.

"Yeah, weird." repeated Cal in turn, then chuckled, "He even hit me with the cart."

He and Ezra laughed together, remembering how Cal had fallen on his bum, but Cassian's thoughts were elsewhere. Clearly the fact that someone had rolled his son with a cart must not have been traumatic or painful, or Nesta would have called him and Cal wouldn't have been there laughing, but the fact that they had described her with an adjective like "weird" had him on high alert.

"Do you happen to know the man's name?" asked Cassian, pulling himself up and setting his plate down on the coffee table, keeping his gaze on his hands.

Ezra shook his head, "No, also because mom didn't talk to him much and then Drakon showed up."

"Oh, yeah," Cal repeated excitedly, his eyes glowing, "then Drakon showed up."

Cassian was on his feet before his youngest son had finished speaking. He started up the stairs to go upstairs, where he hoped he would find Nesta awake, but warned the two little men that he would go change and be back down to them in a jiffy.

With a strained expression and a bad feeling working its way through him, he walked down the hall, opening the door to his daughters' room slightly. Both Celia and Nora were already fast asleep, and Cassian felt a smile break out on his lips... his little gems. He couldn't believe yet another one would be arriving soon.

He closed the door, making sure not to make any noise, and then headed to his room, praying that Nesta was okay and that his children had misunderstood everything.

He heard her before he even entered. He could picture her pacing back and forth through their room, muttering about what was bothering her at the moment.

He took a deep breath, ready to fight whatever demons there would be to fight that night together, and tightening his hand around the doorknob, he lowered it, pushing himself into the room.

Nesta stopped short, both hands wrapped under her belly to help support that extra weight she was always complaining about.

The second Cassian's eyes found hers, her expression completely transformed and a desperate sob broke the silence that had formed between them.

"Nesta." he said as if someone had just sucked the air from his lungs. Reaching for her with two quick strides and wrapping her in his arms, Cassian heard all kinds of emotion in his wife's crying.

When he stroked her back, Nesta let go a wail of pain and he immediately pulled away, still keeping his hands around her elbows as much as her cold hands tightened around his forearms.

"God, Nesta what happened?"

She only cried harder, loosening her grip on him when she was sure he wouldn't pull away. She managed to say between sobs, "Everything hurts."

Cassian felt as if the floor has cracked open beneath them. "Is it the baby?"

Nesta's eyes went wide, probably only realizing at that moment what state he'd found her in, "No, she's fine." then, seeing his increasingly worried expression, she added, "I promise the baby's fine."

Cassian sagged at little, reducing his lips to a thin line, gently pushed her towards the bed to get her to sit up, but Nesta shook her head, taking short, overly fast breaths, "I can't."

Cassian paused, taking her hands and trying to restrain himself from asking her who they had met that afternoon that had managed to trigger such a reaction in her. There was no way she could have been in that state just from being tired.

"I can't." repeated Nesta sobbing and looking into his eyes. "Everything hurts, Cassian."

He sighed, closing his eyes. Seeing her in this state was nothing new unfortunately. With four pregnancies behind them and everything they'd been through in the years prior to their marriage, it wasn't unusual for either of them to be in such a condition.

He opened his eyes, trying to keep a firm tone, "How come you can't sit down?"

"If I sit the pain gets worse." she said between choked breaths.

Cassian furrowed his brow, wanting to yell at her about how stupid it had been of her to go walking that afternoon, but he restrained himself. "Have you tried lying down?" he proposed.

Nesta shook her head again, "Any position hurts my back or my legs," she explained.

"Tell you what," he began hesitantly, taking both of her hands, "why don't you put on those super pants that support your belly - or I'll help you put them on, it's no problem," he added quickly when he saw the pain in her features, "and then I'll give you a leg massage while you're standing?" he said smiling at her coyly. Nesta sniffed, nodding slowly. "And when sitting doesn't hurt anymore or is bearable you get on your knees on the bed or lean against the keyboard and I massage your back too, are you up for that?"

She squeezed his hands to let him know she was okay with everything, so Cassian smiled at her, returning the squeeze and starting to pull away from her to go get the leggings, but Nesta's eyes went wide and a few tears rolled down her cheeks, "Where are you going?"

Cassian grimaced worriedly.

Why hadn't she called him if she was feeling this bad?

He moved back as close as he could without crushing Andra between them, "I was just going to get my pajamas, Nes, and your pants." he placed a hand on her face, stroking away the remnants of her crying. Then he sighed, pushing her forehead into his and keeping his eyes open as he whispered, "I love you."

She repeated it quietly, almost a sigh.

He undressed quickly, slipping into his pajamas with equal haste as Nesta stood motionless in the center of the room, waiting for him to return to her.

"Listen," Cassian began, kneeling in front of her as he helped her out of the pajama pants she was wearing, "the boys told me you met someone today." he forced himself to look at her, when the grip on his shoulder suddenly tightened. Cassian studied the reaction he'd elicited from her and bit the inside of his cheek, seeing how Nesta had frozen and put her foot down. He took a deep breath, giving her knee a little tap to let her know she needed to get it back up, "They didn't tell me who it was and I don't think they know, but I got some ideas and I want-" he swallowed loudly, thinking seriously about what might have happened if his doubts were real, "If it's Tomas, I want to know if you're okay." he said in a lower voice, looking at her from under his lashes. Nesta didn't answer.

He had managed to get both of her feet into her pants and was pulling them up gently, trying not to hurt her. He had to pull up the skirt of the robe she used during all her pregnancies when none of her pajamas fit anymore, uncovering her belly and left a gentle kiss on her skin, smiling at his daughter, "Hello my little sunshine."

He felt Nesta shiver and thinking it was from the cold he hurried to cover her belly with her pants and then pull her nightgown down.

He looked at her more seriously than ever as he settled on the floor in front of her so he could massage her into a comfortable position. He was about to speak, to ask her again how she was doing, but she beat him to it.

"What did you do today?" she asked in a weak voice.

Cassian closed his mouth, bouncing his legs, pondering whether to insist that she spoke or let her distract him with that question. He decided for the latter, even though his wife already knew very well what he had done that day, "This morning there was an exam of Ancient History for the first years." he began to speak while pressing his thumbs on her left thigh. Nesta was leaning her hands on his shoulders. "I have to be honest, I've never seen exams as crappy and ignorant as this session's," he continued while keeping his gaze fixed on her face. "It's like people stopped studying all of a sudden and thought they could pass my exams by learning the bare minimum."

He shifted on her other thigh and Nesta snapped forward, groaning softly as Cassian touched a particularly numb muscle.

"Sorry." he smiled at her, "Then at lunch I stayed in the faculty with Gwyn and Luc, and by the way, they asked me if you'd be okay with organizing a lunch this weekend, with everyone?"

Nesta rolled her eyes, "I can't even walk, let alone plan a lunch with everyone," she pointed out to him in an irritated tone.

Cassian chuckled, "I'll let Gwyn know you told her to fuck off nicely."

"Yes, thank you," she replied to him. But then she bit her lip, thoughtfully, "But if they want to do something at her or Elain's that's fine. I can also cook, but not here, please, I don't feel like tidying up afterwards." she looked into his eyes with a pleading look.

"It's okay, it's not a problem," he shifted to her calves, "Although, if the only problem has to be the fact that you don't feel like tidying up, you know I wouldn't let you."

Nesta grunted, "I don't want you to do all the work yourself."

Cassian let out a puff of air through his nostrils, "You can't be the only one working hard in this house Nes, let me have some of the glory too." he joked.

"But I'm not the only one." she said in an overly serious tone, "You're always at work and I know you're working overtime, filling in for your colleagues, don't think I haven't noticed," she scolded him. Cassian lowered his head, feeling his cheeks turn red. "And I'm here at home and I can't work and I've been like this for months now and even before that with Celia-" she sighed, bringing a hand to her face, "I just wish I could help you bring something extra home."

Cassian stopped massaging her leg, surprised at what he was hearing. He moved away from her, enough so that he could stand up without bumping into her stomach and then looked at her, shaking his head, "What on earth are you talking about?" he asked, "Nesta you're raising our children. You're doing a much more tiring and exhausting job than mine ever will be." he pulled himself upright, "True, it's just as rewarding and enjoyable to be able to stay home and watch our children grow up, but you're the biggest help I could ever get right now. We don't need money right now."

"But-"

"No buts." he said arching his eyebrows and pushing her towards the bed, "Do you think you can sit?" she nodded pensively and let him help her up onto the mattress. "Nesta what you're doing is admirable and I'm sure not everyone could handle it as well as you can."

Nesta stopped in the middle of the bed, turning to look at him with a shocked expression.

Cassian was just as shocked. That she didn't realize how much she was actually helping him was beyond comprehension.

"I can only get by because you're there," she murmured, looking away, "I'd never make it on my own."

"And no one expects you to make it, Nes." he said stunned. He really couldn't understand where all the doubt was coming from, "You don't have to make it on your own and you're not doing it on your own."

He had her settled so that her back was to him and she was turned to the wall. He placed his hands over her back and began to make concise circles on the bottom, applying pressure where he knew the pain was most concentrated. Nesta's head fell forward in relief.

"You really don't think you're helping me in any way?"

"No, I-" she froze mid-sentence, "It's not that."

"Then what is it?" he asked, using his knuckles to massage her shoulder muscles.

Nesta groaned softly, "It's just that I wish I could go back to work and read all the books I want and I wish I could feel tired and be able to let my kids cry without anyone telling me what to do and how to do it. I wish I could move without the terror of going into labor at any moment and-" she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I wish I wasn't so hormonal right now."

He could tell that her thoughts were all over the place.

There had been other such crises during Celia's pregnancy. The fear that they wouldn't measure up as parents to so many children. They were in constant thought that they were not giving them enough, that they were teaching them the wrong lessons. Cassian had received some nasty comments himself about how they were raising their children, and he knew right away that someone must have said something to Nesta that day.

They had always had stronger, more heartfelt reactions on her, and now that she was pregnant it was all much more altered.

"What happened today?" he asked her under his breath after a few moments of silence.

"No one slept, I didn't have a moment's peace and then we left and walked to the mall. I had to carry Nora all the way there and-" her voice broke on the last sentence and Cassian stopped his ministrations on her. He laid both hands on her back, getting as close as he could, letting his hands slide down her hips and then over her belly, until his chest made contact with her back and Nesta pushed back against him.

She dropped her head onto Cassian's shoulder.

"And?" he murmured, spurring her on.

"Everything hurt so much, Cass," she replied in a watery voice, "It was like I was being stabbed in the back and I couldn't put Nora down because she'd start crying."

A sharp twinge of pain shot through his chest. He began to gently massage her belly and shortly after he felt her small hands settle on his, pushing harder, "No one would try to say you're a bad mother just because you don't pick up your daughter when you're hurting."

She didn't answer.

"Celia?" he asked.

"Ezra and Cal held her hand the whole way, she walked so much," she said with a half smile on her face. "When we walked in they immediately started acting up and then they started crying and I couldn't take it anymore and these ladies said I was an awful mother and it's true, Cassian." she jerked in his arms as she said those last words. He only held her tighter, taking a deep breath. "Who is the mother who can't calm her own children when they cry? Her own children." she shook her head, running a hand under her eyes.

He couldn't see her face, but he knew she had started crying again.

"Nesta listen to me." he whispered to her, kissing her shoulder and then the tip of her ear. "You are the most loving and caring mother I know. Your children are perfectly healthy and you've never let them lack for anything. You've never raised your voice to them. You've never threatened them or grounded them-"

"I'm not a monster," she muttered.

"And more importantly," he said smiling and holding her tighter, "your children are happy."

"But Cal today-"

"Cal is downstairs watching TV with his brother and he's been telling me about his day and he's the happiest kid ever," he interrupted her, "Just because he threw a tantrum and cried a little doesn't mean you're not a good mother."

She sighed and nodded, though she didn't look convinced.

Cassian continued to stroke the spots on her belly where he knew her skin pulled the most, her hand still on his playing with the wedding ring on his finger when Nesta said, "I saw Tomas today."

Cassian froze behind her, holding his breath. He'd known it, but hearing the fear in her voice now as she said the name of the man Cassian hated most in the world didn't stop him from wincing.

"He bumped Cal with the cart and knocked him over and I didn't realize it was him until he called me," Nesta continued.

When Cassian spoke, his voice came out much harsher and tighter than he intended, "Did he-" he cleared his throat, "Did he say anything?"

"No, he-" Nesta brought both hands to her stomach, shifting his. She moved uncomfortably in his arms and Cassian loosened his grip on his wife, realizing she wanted to move. He grabbed her by the hips, trying to pull her up so she could turn toward him, and when she was finally sitting up with her back against the headboard of the bed, she sighed. "I saw him, Cass, and I froze." she said under her breath, looking into his eyes. "He touched Cal's hair and it was like he was touching me, again, and I completely froze and then the baby kicked and he touched my-" she took a ragged breath as her eyes filled with tears. When she spoke again, her voice was so weak that Cassian had to appeal to every ounce of his reasoning not to get up and go find Tomas to kill him.

He took her hands, remaining silent as a revolting feeling took over his body. The idea of Nesta being touched by that filthy man made his guts turn. The idea of his children-

A choked sob brought him back into the room, "And I wanted him to go and stop looking at Ezra and Celia and Nora and I could only move when Ezra called me, but he followed us and blocked our way. He asked me about you, wanted to know who you were, and it was like going back in time and I couldn't- I couldn't, Cass-" Nesta brought a hand to her chest, her eyes and mouth wide as panic appeared in her gaze and air struggled to reach her lungs.

Cassian squeezed her hands, speaking softly, "Nesta, it's okay." a sob from her, "You're all home." he murmured starting to massage her palm, "You're home with me."

Her breathing became even more erratic and she shook her head, closing her eyes.

Cassian closed his eyes as well, "I'm sorry you had to see him again and I'm sorry you couldn't move, but it's understandable, sweetheart." he was trying to keep his tone of voice relatively low, to calm her down, but it was proving difficult for him as he viewed Tomas watching his daughters. "He shouldn't have touched your belly. He shouldn't have just touched you at all. And he shouldn't have gotten close to Cal or Andra." he seethed. "And if I could I would go to him and rip his hands off." he let slip as he imagined the terror Nesta must have felt at that moment.

Nesta sobbed and the sound broke Cassian's heart, "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm sorry."

A pang of pain tightened in his chest as his face turned into a mask of controlled anger, "Don't ever apologize to me, please," he whispered, "Not for this stuff."

"But I couldn't do anything, even after all this time-" a hiccup broke the sentence, "He still has all this power over me. It's not fair."

It's not fair.

Cassian nodded, biting the inside of his cheek, "You're right, it's not fair." he squeezed her hands lightly, telling her to look at his face. She quickly did so. "You're not with him anymore. You're free. You don't owe him anything, just like you never owed him anything." Nesta took a shaky breath, stopping sobbing. "You have a family, you're a wonderful mother and wife. And you deserve all of this."

Nesta's eyes went wide, realizing where this was going.

Cassian took a deep breath, "You're not worthless, you're not hopeless or useless." he closed his eyes as Nesta mimicked him, breathing deeply in turn. "You are a strong, independent woman, it doesn't matter how much he said otherwise. It didn't matter before and it doesn't matter now. It's just meaningless words.

"I know you, Nesta, and you are the light of my life. The light of every person in this house. The only thing that keeps us going." he whispered in a weak voice, as Nesta leaned forward toward him and cried silently.

Cassian moved closer to her on the mattress so that she could rest her forehead against his chest, his shoulder, wherever she wanted, for support.

He had repeated those words to her so many times over the years. He didn't think he'd ever have to do it again, certainly not after so long that they both knew Tomas had moved to another continent entirely.

"I know you and you're nothing like he describes," he encircled her shoulders with arms when Nesta let go of a particularly loud sob. "You are the exact opposite of what he says." he kissed one temple, stroking the hair on her back.

She shivered in his arms, "I know." she whispered against his shirt.

Cassian managed to force a smile onto his lips, even though she couldn't see it, he knew she would hear it when he spoke, "I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

"Because I can only imagine how hard it was for you to see him again, and although I would have appreciated a different approach to everything that happened this afternoon, you handled it perfectly and our kids are fine." he passed his hands over her shoulders and pushed her away from him so he could look at her face. "And it's okay that you broke down now, it's normal. I'm glad you told me about it. Thank you." he spoke against her lips.

She smiled, breathing a laugh through her tears, "I love you."

"I love you." repeated Cassian, sighing. He cupped her cheek, brushing a thumb under her eye, before kissing her. No rush or force, just pure, raw emotion as their lips caressed in a desperate kiss.

acotar taglist (if you wanna be added or removed just send me an ask or dm me)

@sjm-things @kris10maas @awesomelena555 @sannelovesreading @queenamydien29 @ireallyshouldsleeprn @messyhairday-me @ncssian @observationanxioustheorist @my-fan-side @booksstorm @maastrash @sayosdreams @thedarkdemigod @courtofjurdan @thewayshedreamed @ladywitchling @nahthanks @archeron-queen @sleeping-and-books @bri-loves-sunflowers @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @queenestarcheron @oop-theregoesgravity @perseusannabeth @simping4bookboisngrls @anne-reads @fantastypenguins @laylaameer01 @thalia-2-rose @darkshadowqueensrule

#nessian #TSOU nessian fic #TSOU #the seven of us #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian baby #nessian child #nessian children #nessian angst #nessian fic #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #a court of silver flames

[hypnomicimagines]

That fluff alphabet really is super cute, wow. If you're feeling up to it, could I request G, K, M, R and Z for Gentaro or Samatoki? (Whoever has the least requests the moment you decide to take this one on, please. I simp hard for both and cant make up my mind)

Aohitsugi Samatoki: 

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?): 

Samatoki is gentle in his own way but overall, you don’t think the word really suits him. He’s more rough around the edges when it comes to love and he can be very direct when he wants to be, even if he also skates around certain topics as he fears what the outcome might be (he’s no pushover but he’s not rushing to lose you either). He handles you and your heart with far more care than you ever suspected though, knowing his gentle side mostly comes out when he’s putting the effort into being romantic. 

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?): 

The emotional weight and intensity that are in each one of Samatoki’s kisses leave you always feeling satisfied if not a bit exhausted, putting forth all your effort into the more passionate ones as you don’t want to disappoint. It also almost always leads to more if you want it to and Samatoki is always raring to go even if you’re in his office or out in public together. He at least has the tact to kiss you chastly when you’re around others and in crowded public spaces but you can always tell by how he lingers that he hungers for more. 

Samatoki did without a hint of hesitation. He knew he wanted this more than anything and you’d be showing the same signs, staring at his lips all night and flirting so hard he wondered how he hadn’t realized you had feelings for him before. It’s so incredibly surreal to finally be kissing someone he loved, someone he had been pining over for months, and he’s almost afraid to blink in case it all dissolves away before his very eyes. 

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?): 

The time you spent an entire day inside a thrift store slowly carding through each and every item to find a totally new wardrobe. You seemed more excited than him when you found the store that was practically a warehouse, excitedly jabbering on about all the hidden gems that might be there. He couldn’t say he was extremely interested in finding some of these ‘hidden gems’ and thus started the journey of finding interesting new articles of clothing, finding stuff for Rio and Jyuto too (which you wanted to get for them more than him). You even walked out with matching hawaiian style shirts and you were so happy Samatoki knew he’d wear the ugly thing out in public just to see you smile. 

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?): 

Samatoki always gets bored and restless on rainy days, finding them to be tedious to deal with as it’s not as though he still doesn’t have to work in the rain. On days he doesn’t feel like going in and just stays at home he tends to cook just due to pure boredom, enlisting you in these activities and making you taste test new things he wants to try out for dinner. You always have a good time when Samatoki throws on the old cooking apron and you admire him from kitchen table as he cooks, trying to hold back all the househusband jokes brewing in your head. 

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?): 

Samatoki isn’t really a pet person and he thinks his ideal pet would be something like a snake or a lizard of some sort. The only thing stopping him from getting one is his hatred of bugs but if he found a way around having to handle the squishy bundles of protein for his pet he’d buy one in a heartbeat. Dogs are too high maintenance but cats are lowkey enough that he’d consider them, too. He thinks owning a bird would be funny considering how much Jyuto detests them and would threaten to have it in the front entrance of his office for days he doesn’t want to be bothered by the cop. 

Yumeno Gentaro: 

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?):

Gentaro exudes gentleness and you’ll find that when romantically involved with him, things generally remain light-hearted. He doesn’t like to force situations and he’s the ‘sit back and see what happens’ type of person, approaching romance in a rather relaxed way that said there’d be no hard feelings if things didn’t work out. It can be to the point you don’t know how seriously he takes the relationship but heavy emotions wear Gentaro out, it’s why he lies so much because honesty is more exhausting but if you’re worth his time, you’ll get to see this side of him. 

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?):

Gentaro’s kisses are gentle in nature, starting off with him pressing his nose against yours and asking in a soft tone if you’d like him to kiss you. When you agree he briefly gives you exactly what you want but pulls away to tease, saying if you want more from him than you’d have to come get it. He’s almost always playful when he kisses you and he always manages to lift your spirits with his kisses; he seems surprised and flustered to hear you admit that but happy kissing you isn’t just self-serving (as his mood is always improved by you giving him a smooch too). 

It was a real 50/50 decision, the two of you having to work together to achieve it in the long run. Gentaro liked to sit back, watch, and wait to see what you’d do, never acting even when you got so close to him you could feel his breath on your skin. It was almost annoying how he managed to hold out and keep it together while you were stumbling over yourself but when you finally tell him to kiss you he does so without complaint. He ends up stuttering afterwards which shows he’s not quite as together as he’d like you to think and you’re pleased that he’s now embarrassed after an entire night of leaving you guessing. 

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?):

Gentaro’s favorite memory was when the two of you were sitting on a bench in the park, holding hands as the sun set while chattering about this or that. There had been a few storytelling sessions where he’d seen how quick you were on the draw when he asked you about random passerby, a lot of laughs shared at the absolutely nonsensical stories of vampires and monsters that you came up with. He said you had a mind that rivaled his and that he’d gladly collaborate with you on a novel some day. 

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?):

Rainy days are never boring with Gentaro as he can come up with a story for just about anything, though he’s sad he can’t people watch as he normally does. He’ll bury his nose in a book while sitting curled up on the couch under a thick warm blanket (you want to joke he looks like a very comfortable grandma but you don’t know if he’ll take it well) and if he’s not reading, he’s likely trying to write something using the rain as a type of white noise to help him concentrate. 

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?):

Gentaro would love an elderly cat who just wants to live out its final years in peace, having it sit on his lap and tending to its needs. He loves cooing at the fluff ball and only gives it the best care, brushing its hair and humming happily to himself as he realizes, without caring, that he’s become a crazy cat man. He just enjoys the calmness an older cat brings with it and the lack of destruction to his house, amused that Dice doesn’t seem to trust it (nor does his cat trust Dice until he brings a can of tuna as an offering). 

#Samatoki Aohitsugi #Aohitsugi Samatoki #Yumeno Gentaro #Gentaro Yumeno #Hypnosis Microphone #Hypnosis Mic #Hypnomic #Hypmic #Hypnosis Microphone Imagines #Hypnosis Mic Imagines #Hypmic Imagines #Hypnosis Microphone x Reader #Hypnosis Mic x Reader #Hypmic x Reader #aohitsugi samatoki x reader #samatoki aohitsugi x reader #gentaro yumeno x reader #yumeno gentaro x reader #Cute Alphabet

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 25

Happy New Year’s Eve (and yes, I realize some of you are already in 2021, but I’m not.) Nothing like waiting until almost the last minute to get my promised new episode posted before the end of December. But success.

I’m currently on my lunch break, so I have to keep this short and sweet.

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me as I’ve been writing this series. I truly appreciate each and everyone one of you. And shout out to my betas: @nomadicpixel​ @alievans007​ @heather-lynn​ and @mrs-captain-evans​ - you four are amazing cheerleaders and this story wouldn’t be what it is without you and your help.

♥Becca♥

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: n/a

Episode Summary: Chris returns to Los Angeles (and Ellie)... for real this time.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

This episode can also be read on AO3.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological. It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future. However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 24.5

Episode 25: Only Fools Rush In

December 5, 2014

Chris's house in Los Angeles was dark when the cab came to a stop in front of it in the early hours of the morning. The driver helped Chris get his luggage out of the trunk and then wished him a 'Merry Christmas' after Chris slipped him a tip.

As the cab drove away, Chris stared up at the big house, trying to block out the memories from that day in July when he'd seen Ellie and Pierre hugging. Now that he knew what had actually happened, he felt like a fool for jumping to conclusions.

He couldn’t bring himself to regret it. That rock bottom moment for him had been a catalyst. He'd finally gotten over the hurdles his mind created and was letting his heart take the lead on the whole Ellie dilemma. He owed it to them both to seek her out. He didn't know how it would go, but he was prepared to apologize and, if she wanted, walk away.

Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the door and carried his suitcases in. His eyes drifted up the stairs and he knew he should take them up to his bedroom, but he wasn't ready to go there yet. Instead, he dropped the suitcases at the bottom of the stairs then walked through the quiet house, taking everything in.

For some reason, Chris had expected everything to be different, but it all looked the same. The only thing that was noticeably different was the smell. The house didn't smell bad by any means, it just didn't smell like the light, fruity scent that he associated with Ellie.

It wasn't until he got to the kitchen that he noticed things missing, specifically Ellie's things. Like her ugly coffee cups that she insisted on keeping next to the coffeemaker so they were within easy reach first thing in the morning. His eyes then slid to the floor by the backdoor where Daisy's things had been. He missed her almost as much as he missed Ellie.

Taking a shaky breath, he started a pot of coffee, knowing it would be the only way he was going to make it through the day after taking a red eye flight from Boston to Los Angeles. While the coffee brewed, he grabbed a mug from the cupboard and then looked back at the coffee maker.

"I don't know why you keep them so far apart," Ellie's voice came back to him from a long-forgotten conversation. "It's silly. The coffee cups should be right above the coffee pot for easy access. Everyone knows that."

"You're right," he admitted out loud in his empty kitchen.

Trying to remember the other things Ellie had said to him over their time together, he opened the doors of all his cupboards and began reorganizing them. At first, it required a lot of thought, but once it got down to just putting things away, his mind started to wander.

It had been ten days since he'd learned the truth about what had happened in the driveway back in July. At first, he had been too overwhelmed by the information and hadn't been able to process it. Opening up to his mom about everything had helped, but that had just been step one.

The next step had been sorting through his feelings. He knew he was in love with Ellie. Months of long, lonely nights of introspection convinced him of that. But he also knew that his feelings weren't what was important right now. Ellie's feelings were all what mattered. Him being in love with her didn't mean a damn thing if she didn't feel the same way. Or worse, if she hated him and never wanted to see him again.

He'd tried to put on a brave face for Thanksgiving, but his heart hadn't really been in it. He'd gone through the motions, but not even a competitive game of Trivial Pursuit had pulled him out of his head.

His mom had given him until Saturday morning before she'd stepped in to help some more. Through a series of questions, like 'what are you thinking' and 'what are you planning to do', she helped him get through the quagmire that was his brain. The outcome of which had been him deciding to go back to Los Angeles to talk to Ellie.

The biggest question that had followed his decision had been when. Scott had gone back to LA Sunday morning, but Chris hadn't been ready yet. He'd wanted to come back with a game plan. Even if it all ended up a complete and utter failure.

"What are you doing?" Scott's voice came through the fog of Chris's brain, bringing him back to the present.

Shaking his head, Chris turned and found his brother standing at the top of the stairs to the basement. Seeing the confused expression on Scott's face, he took a step back and took in the reorganizing disaster that was his kitchen.

"Are you ok?" Scott asked, slowly. He'd known Chris was arriving this morning, but he hadn't expected to find his brother rearranging the kitchen when he came in from the guest house where he was now living.

"I'm fine," Chris assured him. "Just felt like reorganizing, I guess." He shrugged. "Ellie was always commenting on the silly places some things were stored and she was right." Stepping forward, he opened the cupboard over the coffee pot. "The mugs are here now. Above the coffee pot."

"You could have just moved the coffee pot," Scott said with a stifled yawn.

"I could have, but it makes sense for the coffee pot, coffee and coffee cups to all be in one area," Chris explained. "Speaking of which, I made coffee. You want some?"

"Shouldn't you be fighting jet lag or something?" his brother asked.

"I slept on the plane," Chris replied with a shrug. "And I've had two cups of coffee this morning. I'll sleep later."

"In your bedroom or in one of the guestrooms?" Scott asked, cautiously. He knew coming back to the house was a big first step for Chris, but he didn't think his brother was fully prepared for the onslaught of memories that the house would bring. Seeing Chris tense at his question, Scott pressed on. "Have you been upstairs yet?"

"I couldn't go upstairs," Chris admitted, softly. The bedroom held so many memories for himself and Ellie but was also the place that his worst memory with her had happened.

"Want me to go with you?" Scott offered. He'd walked by Ellie's side during the aftermath of the breakup and now that his brother was forced to deal with it himself, he could help him, too.

"Will you help me with the kitchen first?" Chris asked, gesturing to the stuff that was still on the counters to put away.

Knowing his brother needed to mentally prepare himself to go upstairs, Scott helped him finish reorganizing the kitchen. He didn't want to admit it out loud, but some of the changes really did make sense. Others, he knew would drive Ellie crazy. Which made him want to take a picture and send it to her, but he resisted the urge. She didn't know Chris was back in town yet and he didn't want to be the one to tell her.

After the last cabinet door closed, Scott expected Chris to come up with a reason not to go upstairs, but his brother surprised him by leading him out of the kitchen.

"Are you ready for this?" Scott asked as he picked up two of Chris's suitcases.

"Not really, but it's not like I have much choice, is it?" Chris asked as he grabbed his other suitcase.

"It'll be ok, you'll see," Scott assured him. "The cleaning lady was here yesterday and she made the bed for you and cleaned the bathroom."

Leading Chris up the stairs, Scott waited for him at the bedroom door. He knew his brother needed to be the one to open the door to fully cement his current reality. Afterall, the last time Chris had been in the room, Ellie had been peacefully sleeping in the bed and it had been April.

"You got this," Scott encouraged as they stood outside the closed bedroom door.

Turning the handle, Chris pushed the door open and found the room just as it had always been when he came home from a long time away. It was both comforting and depressing.

He forced himself to take a step into the room and then another until he reached the bed. He dropped his suitcase onto it and Scott did the same with the other two.

Turning to survey the room, he saw the two neatly stacked piles of clothes on the dresser by the bedroom door. He recognized some of the sweatshirts that Ellie had borrowed from him, but others were just clothes he had worn during the days leading up to his early departure.

Sucking in a breath, he turned his attention to the closet. Crossing the room, he opened the door and was taken aback at the chaotic state of it. He knew he'd packed in a rush, but he hadn't realized he'd left it in such a state.

"I told the housekeeper not to clean it up," Scott said from behind him. "I thought you needed to see the way you left things."

"I hadn't realized," Chris whispered as he felt pressure building in his chest. He could only imagine how shocked and hurt Ellie had been when she'd seen the room. "I really fucked up."

"You did," Scott agreed. There was no reason to sugar coat things anymore. At the same time, he could feel the anxiety radiating off his brother. Reaching over, he put his hand on Chris's shoulder and squeezed. "You're here now. That's what's important."

Turning to look at his brother, Chris felt the weight of the last eight months on his shoulders. Not only had he lost Ellie, but he'd effectively lost his own brother, too. Both because of his own stupidity.

"I'm sorry for being a jackass," he told Scott.

"I know you are and I forgive you," Scott replied with a smile. "I'll try not to rub it in your face. Too much anyway."

Chris rolled his eyes and pulled his brother in for a hug.

"So what's your plan?" Scott asked, once they'd parted.

"I'm going to go talk to her," Chris told him. 

"You mean call her, right?" Scott responded. The idea of Chris just showing up at Ellie's apartment left him uneasy. Assuming his brother knew where she lived.

"No, I'm going to go find her and talk to her," Chris replied with a shake of his head. "We both know I'm eight months too late to just call her like everything is fine between us."

"You can't just show up, Chris," Scott insisted. "You should give her some sort of warning that you're wanting to fix things. A phone call would be the best way to do that."

"That's assuming she hasn't blocked my number," Chris pointed out. "And on the off chance she hasn't, who says she would even answer the call? Or that she won't hang up when she realizes I'm the one calling?"

"She hasn't and she won't," Scott assured him. He knew Ellie hadn't blocked or deleted Chris's number because he'd looked when he'd seen her the other day. As for the second part, he was certain that she would answer the phone for Chris. If only to make sure that everyone was ok.

"I have to talk to her in person," Chris stated in a tone of finality. "Even if it's just to tell her I'm sorry."

Scott sighed, but nodded his head, as if giving his permission, which meant a lot to Chris. He knew that Scott and Ellie had gotten closer during his absence and Scott had been there for her. Oddly enough, he even appreciated the balancing act his brother was doing to protect Ellie but also help him.

"I don't suppose you'd give me her address," Chris asked, hesitantly. He didn't want to cause problems between his brother and Ellie, especially if things didn't work out for the two of them, but it was worth a try.

"I don't know her address," Scott replied. It wasn't a lie, exactly. He didn't know the address of her apartment or even the address of the bookstore. He could tell Chris where Ellie's apartment was, but he didn't want Chris to catch Ellie off guard. Like his brother, she needed time to process things and having Chris just show up on her doorstep would not be ideal.

"Then I guess I'll start at the bookstore," Chris reasoned. "That's where I was planning to start anyway." He frowned as a thought crossed his mind. "She still works at the bookstore, right?"

"Yes," Scott told him, making a mental note to call the bookstore when he had the chance to give them a heads up. "They have later hours right now because of the holidays. You'll probably want to go on Monday. That tends to be their slow day, though with Christmas right around the corner, that might be different."

"I'm going tonight," Chris stated. "And I knew about the later hours, I saw it on their website. I plan on getting there right before closing time."

"Oh," Scott said, hoping his voice sounded calm despite the panic that Chris's words had caused. Then he remembered that Ellie wasn't working that night. He couldn't remember exactly what she was doing, but he thought it had to do with the afterschool program she'd been helping with. Possibly a Christmas party? Whatever it was didn't matter. All that mattered was that someone else would be at the bookstore and she would get a heads up that Chris was looking for her before they met. He wondered if Ellie would believe him if he sent her a text in the morning saying that Chris had shown up at the house.

"... and that's my plan," Chris's voice trailed off.

Scott blinked and then coughed awkwardly as he realized he'd missed Chris's plans while panicking. "Uh, sounds like you have it all planned out then," he said, hoping his voice didn't give anything away.

"Yeah, I guess," Chris replied, nodding, his mind on his plan. He'd spent hours formulating it and it was almost time to put it into action. He took a deep breath and turned his attention back to the disaster that was his closet. "I suppose I should deal with this."

"Good idea," Scott said, his mind on making the phone call. "I'll let you do that. I need to go make a phone call anyway."

It wasn't until Scott had left that Chris felt the weight of the pressure he'd succumbed to the night he'd walked away. Unlike that night, however, his heart was able to push past his chaotic thoughts. Starting with the overturned hamper, he picked it up, thankful that someone had taken care of the dirty clothes that had been in there.

It took him a couple hours to get everything picked up and the clothes from his suitcases put away. The hardest part of it all had been the sweatshirts that Ellie had borrowed from him. He smelled each one, hoping they'd still smell like her, but they didn't.

Around two in the afternoon, he gave in to the mental and physical exhaustion he was feeling and laid down for a nap. He slept for a couple of hours and woke up feeling a little groggy, but also recharged.

Hearing his stomach growl, he made his way downstairs and found the house empty. Going into the kitchen, it took him a few minutes to remember where he had moved things to in the kitchen, but eventually he had what he needed to make himself a sandwich.

With hours to kill, he thought about going downstairs to watch tv, but he wasn't sure he was ready for that. At least, not on his own. The basement, even more so than his bedroom, held so many memories for himself and Ellie. It was where they had built their friendship and where it had grown to be more.

Instead, he went back upstairs to take a shower before trying to figure out what to wear. All black seemed too dramatic, but he didn't feel right wearing anything she'd told him she loved seeing him wear. The goal of tonight was for her to see that he was back in town and for him to at least apologize to her. He hoped that she would give him a couple minutes to explain things, but he didn't want to push her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

He spent the remaining time going over every aspect of his plan. He purposely hadn't written down what he wanted to say, because he didn't want it to sound rehearsed, but he had a general idea. If all went well, Ellie would be at the shop when he got there and then he'd either talk to her or make plans to talk to her another time.

He felt nervous, but oddly calm at the same time. He was as ready as he'd ever be.

With two hours until closing time, he left the house and made his way to the Los Angeles neighborhood that the bookstore was in. He gave himself more than enough time to get there, not wanting to risk getting stuck in traffic and getting there after they closed for the night.

As it was, he got there a good forty-five minutes before closing time and stopped for coffee before finding a parking spot in front of the shop. He sipped his coffee as he waited, mentally going over everything he wanted to say to Ellie. Assuming she let him talk and didn't run him out of the shop.

With five minutes left until closing time, Chris got out of the car and made his way to the shop. The bells jingled above his head as he came inside.

"We're closing in -" A friendly voice started to say before switching to a less friendly one when he came into sight. "Oh. It's you."

Even though he'd never met Veronica, the shop owner, he knew that was exactly who the middle aged woman was. "You know who I am?" he asked, hesitantly.

"You're Ellie's actor," the woman replied, pursing her lips. "I'd heard you were in town."

"Scott," Chris said, suddenly feeling annoyed with his brother. Obviously that had been the mysterious phone call he'd had to make. "Look, I'm just -"

"I know you're trying to find Ellie," Veronica interrupted him. "Go sit in the break room. I'll be with you in a minute."

Confused, Chris followed her directions and made his way into the break room. It was as he stepped into the back room that he picked up on a familiar scent that rocked him to his core. Ellie had been here or maybe her scent was just imprinted on the place since she worked here. He hadn't realized just how much he'd missed the smell until now.

"I dated an actor once," Veronica's voice said from behind him.

Chris turned to face her, waiting for a clue as to how it applied to himself and Ellie.

"It was the worst experience of my life," Veronica continued. "He was the vainest man I'd ever met, in the end. At first, he treated me like a queen. Taking me to parties and events with other famous people. Then something changed and it became hell for me. It's been thirty years and I still can't say one nice thing about him."

"I'm sorry you went through that," he said, still confused. "But you're right, Hollywood is filled with some pompous assholes."

"And are you one of them?" she asked pointedly.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I will admit that I let Hollywood and fame in general get to my head when I was in my twenties, but that's not who I am anymore or who I want to be."

"Ellie and your brother would agree to that, I know," Veronica told him. "Which is the only reason you are in the break room right now and not standing outside."

As she crossed her arms and leveled a protective look at him, Chris realized what was happening. His brother had obviously clued her into the fact that he was back to talk to Ellie, but Veronica had taken it a step farther, wanting to protect Ellie from anymore heartache if she could.

"I fucked up," he said, simply. Obviously, he had mentally prepared to talk to Ellie, not her boss, but if he had to play hardball to get the chance to talk to her, he'd do it. "And I hurt her in the process and I regret that."

"Now you're back," Veronica stated, visually unswayed by his words.

"Now I'm back," he confirmed. "I don't know if I can fix things, but I want to try. If she'll let me."

"And if she won't?" Veronica pressed.

"Then I walk away. Forever," Chris promised. Squaring his shoulders, he added, "I'm not here to tell her I love her. I'm not saying I don't, but I know that my words aren't worth shit to her, to you, to anyone who knew about our relationship."

Veronica's eyebrows rose at his confession, but she didn't interrupt.

"I just need a chance to talk to her," he continued. "My brother wanted me to call her, but I know this conversation has to happen in person. It's been too long for it to happen any other way."

As if triggered by the word 'call', Veronica's phone started to ring. He saw her take it out of her pocket and saw the look of surprise that crossed her face.

"Excuse me for a minute," she said before disappearing into a private office and closing the door.

Sighing, Chris sank down into a chair at the table. Dealing with an overprotective boss was not something he had planned. Let alone his brother tipping off said boss. That said, he was happy that Ellie had people looking out for her.

Hearing the door open, he saw Veronica putting on a coat.

"Mr. Evans, you are lucky that I believe in fate," she told him as she turned off the lights in the office. "I assume you brought your car?"

"Uh, yes," he replied, more confused than ever, as he stood up.

"Good, Ellie needs us," she told him. "I'll let you drive."

"Is she ok?" he asked as he followed Veronica out of the building via the door in the alley.

"She's fine, but Santa just called saying he was going to the ER for appendicitis," Veronica explained as she locked up. 

"Santa?" Chris repeated. What the hell was she even talking about?

"The costume should fit you," Veronica continued as if not hearing him. She led him down the alley and to the street.

"Wait? You want me to dress up as Santa?" Chris said, finally catching up. Sort of.

"Yes," Veronica replied, turning to look at him. "Unless everything you said in the break room was a lie."

"It wasn't," he said firmly, finally knowing something for certain.

"Good." Veronica nodded as they reached his car, the only one parked in front of the bookstore. "The community center is a ten minute drive from here. We'll need to hurry though. The kids are expecting Santa and Mrs. Claus to hand out presents."

Head still spinning in confusion, Chris followed her directions to the community center. Then found himself ushered down a dark hallway to an office.

"Your costume is in there," Veronica told him. She opened a door and all but pushed him inside.

Mind still trying to catch up with what was going on, it took Chris a minute to see the Santa costume hanging on a coat hook. Still not sure what this all had to do with Ellie, he grabbed the red, fake velvet pants and was in the process of pulling them on over his jeans when the door suddenly opened.

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw a woman dressed as Mrs. Claus come into the room. Her costume consisted of a red velour dress that matched Santa’s costume, a white curly wig and a pair of fake glasses.

Glasses that circled eyes he knew very well.

Eyes that widened when they saw him standing there. 

"Chris," Ellie said in a tone of disbelief.

Episode 26

Want to find me off tumblr? I'm @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

Tag List: @nomadicpixel​, @heather-lynn​, @alievans007​, @mrs-captain-evans​, @stopjustlovethemcu​, @thewannabewriter​, @guera31​, @badassbaker​, @chezdricks​, @patzammit​, @katiew1973​, @zoeloveschrisevans​, @marvelouspottering​, @pegasusdragontiger​, @smoothdogsgirl​, @peaceinourtime82​, @ek823​, @anionthewrite​, @mizzzpink​, @giftofdreams, @janeyboo​, @princess-evans-addict​, @jesseswartzwelder​, @avenger-nerd-mom​, @furrywerewolfcollector​, @ladyamandapanda12​, @gigglegirl77​, @poisonedyouth-americanbeauty​, @jennmurawski13​, @theladybiers​, @rapunzel-flynnrider, @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @animnerd​, @tvjunkie08​, @coldmuffinbanditshoe​

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

#theycallmebecca #theycallmebeccawrites #chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x ofc #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans x original female character #chris and ellie #chris and ellie series

[hvllevator]

love me | n.jm

pairing: na jaemin x female reader

genre: angst, hanahaki!au

words: 3,1k

warning: mentions of throwing up

summary: he made flowers grow in your lungs and although they are beautiful, you couldn’t breathe.

a/n: that is my favorite quote ^ i have mixed feelings about this idk if i like it or. pls dont ask for part two because its meant to end that way! i couldnt find anything about jaemin’s favorite flower so i used his birth flower instead!

You always told yourself it wasn’t real, and that you simply took his kindness the wrong way. Another cough left your throat along with a flower petal, a Gladiolus to be exact, his birth flower.

“Y/N!” Jaemin called out, walking towards your way with a huge grin on his face. You returned his enthusiasm.

Jaemin has been your best friend ever since his parents decided to move in the house next to yours. Your parents were close to one another, which gave you and Jaemin the opportunity to get to know each other. He was always someone you can count on, someone you can lean on whenever you had problems, and someone who was there for you when you needed him. Everyone was fond of your close friendship, often hearing how perfect you were for one another. Some were shocked to find out you weren’t dating especially since they consider the two of you as soulmates which you only laughed upon.

“Hi Jaemin.” You greeted him as he took a seat on the empty chair beside your desk.

“Last year of high school, can you believe it?” He laughed, feeling quite elated that he was finally leaving this hell hole after many years.

“You’re saying it as if we’re graduating tomorrow.” You groaned, placing your head on your desk. Not wanting to deal with the rest of your surroundings for the whole day.

“Yeah, but it’s only ten months. I bet this will pass by in a blur.”

Jaemin was right, you barely realized that it has been three months since the first day of school. You were somehow surprised that you managed to get through the countless schoolworks that was given to you, of course with a little help from Jaemin and his friends. You were close with Jaemin’s friends, not as much as you were with Jaemin but you often hung around them since they were kind and Jaemin liked them.

You were having your weekly movie night at Renjun’s since it was his time to host. You were seated between Jeno and Jaemin, the rest of the boys around. You couldn’t help but feel droopy halfway through the movie, your head slowly started dropping on Jeno’s shoulder which Jaemin noticed. He shifted uncomfortably as he saw you get settled on Jeno, something stirred inside of him and he didn’t like it.

“I’ll take her.” Jaemin mumbled, placing a hand between your head and Jeno’s shoulder before moving it so that you were leaning on him instead. Jeno didn’t really pay attention to his actions since it was something he would usually do when it came to you.

You woke up shortly after, seeing how you were now laying on Jaemin’s chest and his arm was loosely wrapped around your waist. You cursed your heart for starting to beat fast at the way you were positioned. You glanced around the room to see the rest of the boys fast asleep. So, you didn’t make any efforts to move and you went back to sleep in Jaemin’s arms.

You didn’t know when it started, you didn’t know why it started. But whenever Jaemin was relatively close to you, your heart just decides to panic and thump against your chest. You shrugged it off most of the time, thinking that you were probably just flustered due to your lack of romantic interaction that even the simplest of gestures got your heart racing. However, it somehow felt different with Jaemin, like you were craving more from him.

“Y/N, guess what?” Jaemin suddenly came out of nowhere which made you jump in your seat. You were in the library studying for your upcoming exams and you glared at him for being too loud in a place where silence was observed.

“What?” You whispered back, not wanting to disturb the people around you as you tried to continue reading the words on your textbook.

“I told you to guess!” He frowned, ready to pull your book away from you, which you only slapped his hand away.

“I’m terrible at guessing.” You rolled your eyes, turning the page of your book.

“True. Okay so, Na Jaemin has a date.” He boasted. Your breath hitched, actions halting when you heard his words. Why were you so affected if Jaemin goes on a date? You were too scared of finding the answer out.

“So we’re referring to ourselves in third person now?” You dully responded though your head clouds with thoughts.

“Did you hear what I just said?” This time he succeeded in peeling your book away from you.

“Congratulations someone finally said yes to your ugly ass.” You remarked, collecting all your belongings and getting ready to leave since you couldn’t handle being in front of him right now.

“Excuse me according to the ladies, they would die for me.” He wiggled his eyebrows, and you mentally curse him for being so attractive.

“That’s stupid.” You mumbled, not wanting to hear more information about his date.

“Stop.” He whined, grabbing hold of your wrists which made your heart, once again, race at the thought of being so close to him. “Be happy for me.” He pouted.

“I-I am.” You let out before shaking off his grip and sliding your bag on your shoulder. Mumbling a small goodbye before leaving him alone in the library which had him question why you were so hastily of leaving.

After Jaemin went on the date, it was all he would speak of. Telling you how cute his date looked when she giggled or how beautiful she looked when she smiled and quite frankly you were getting annoyed.

“Jaemin, that’s great but can we please talk about something else? At this point I feel like I was the one who went on a date with her.” You rubbed at your temples, not meaning to sound rude but you just couldn’t help your mouth.

Jaemin’s smile fell off his face. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, just, it happened three days ago and my ear is about to fall off if I hear one more thing about how she talked.” You were both lying in your bed, your head dangling off the edge with his body beside you. You felt heated whenever his arm would brush against yours and you’re practically laughing at yourself for setting the bar so low that even the simplest touch had you blushing.

“I get it. So, uh, how are you?” You almost scoffed at the way his sentence tumbled out of his mouth. Why was he suddenly feeling awkward?

“I’m fine. Thanks for asking. Our exams are coming up soon, aren’t you worried?” You turned your head to look at him.

“Nope.” He smiled, which made you relieved to see he got his charm back. “Because I have you beside me.”

You knew he meant it in a —let me copy off of you— way and you blame yourself for assuming his words meant something else.

“Yeah.” You cleared your throat. “I’ll always be.”

Jaemin finally asked the girl he is dating to be his girlfriend and your stomach felt uneasy when you found out. You showed him the reaction he wanted, which was to be happy for him. Of course you were happy, you just couldn’t help the displeasing pit that was forming inside you. You realized that you indeed have feelings for him and you would be lying if you said that finding out he has a girlfriend didn’t smash your heart into pieces. You loathe yourself for only realizing how you felt towards him when he was finally with someone he likes. You would never ruin his happiness, so you made no efforts in telling him how you felt. You often witnessed the two be all lovingly together, and it made you sick, literally, your throat felt itchy whenever they held hands or whenever she would cuddle up against him. The boys also noticed how you started to lose weight, and how your lips were often chapped. You were also worried for your well-being since you didn’t have a clue on what was happening until one day.

You felt bile rush up your throat, making you run to the toilet and puke all over. Except it wasn’t the food you ate earlier, it was petals of Gladiolus. Panic seeped through your veins at the sight of the petals in the toilet. You knew what they meant, everyone does. You screamed in pain, cursing yourself for forgetting something that was crucial in your life. Tears slipped from your eyes, flushing the toilet so that you wouldn’t see the mess you created. You cleaned yourself up before climbing in bed. You sobbed that night, feeling incredibly stupid for not preventing the situation earlier. You didn’t know what to do, you didn’t want to tell your parents about your reckless choices, yet you can’t keep suffering because of it.

You ended up seeking Jeno for advice, along with the rest of the boys. You told them about what was happening and what you were feeling. Pity flashed in their eyes as they watched you speak, genuinely feeling sorry for what you’re going through.

“Y/N... you know what that means right? You won’t get better unless...” Jeno trailed off, not really wanting to finish his statement.

“Unless he likes me back, I know.” You groaned, your hands running over your face.

“Or-“ Chenle started but you cut him off immediately

“No.” You sternly said, almost glaring at him.

“I haven’t even-“

“I know what you’re going to say. I won’t get surgery.”

“But Y/N,” Chenle sighed, careful eyes on you.

“I can’t and I won’t. I would rather live with loving him, rather than never being able to love him.”

You stood by your words, though you weren’t feeling any better. In fact, you grew even more weak, and Jaemin noticed that. You barely showed up in school due to you staying at home and coughing up a storm. Your parents eventually found out about your condition and even offered to talk to Jaemin’s family about it but you wouldn’t let them. You were having difficulties in breathing, the flowers scratching up your lungs. It hurt you, quite a lot. Yet you were too stubborn to give up your feelings.

Jaemin visited you unannounced, making sure there were no traces of flowers anywhere before letting him in your room. He saw how skinny you got, how your eyes looked like they lost life.

“What’s going on with you? Are you sick? Do you need to go to the doctors?” He asked the second he laid eyes on you. You shook at his words before giving him a reassuring smile.

“I’m fine, Jaems, just a fever.” Your throat was betraying you the longer you looked at him, wanting so bad to cough up another petal or so, but you swallowed it in, not wanting him to suspect anything. He seemed like he believed your words, deciding to drop the subject since he might offend you and offered to watch a movie. Feeling bad for turning him down, you agreed to watch a movie. The rest of the night dragged on awfully slow and your throat was on fire. You were sure that a bouquet was ready to come out of your lungs, Jaemin being so close to you didn’t help your condition not one bit, especially when he offered to cuddle but you turned him down, not knowing what would happen if you let yourself be vulnerable knowing he was in love with someone else. Excusing yourself, you rushed to the bathroom, ejecting every bit that was stuck in your stomach. Your eyes widened at the sight of a full flower laying on top of the petals. You were getting worse.

Jaemin ended up leaving that night earlier than expected due to his girlfriend constantly ringing his phone. He apologized countless times before leaving you alone, with petals surrounding yourself once again.

“I-I can’t be friends with you anymore.” Jaemin dropped all of a sudden and you had to stop your jaw from actually dropping. You stared at him as if he had three heads.

“What?” You frowned, shocked from his confession.

“You heard me.” He bit on his lip, his eyes looking everywhere but at you.

“I hear bullshit.” You snickered, ready to forgive him for his stupid joke.

“I’m serious.” You scanned his face for any emotions yet he looked dead serious, this wasn’t the Jaemin you knew and loved.

“Is it because of her?” You scoffed when he failed to respond to your questions. “Wow, Jaemin.” Huffing, you crossed your arms against your chest and stared at him in disbelief.

“Don’t bring her into this.” He argued, making you even more agitated.

“You’re willing to throw out friendship away because your girlfriend told you?”

“It’s not like that.”

“It is. Whatever. Fuck you, Jaemin.” You turned your back to him, getting ready to walk away.

“She’s sick, Y/N.” He let out when you began to walk.

You halted in place, turning to face him once again. “Oh? And what does that have to do with me?” You raised your brow at him.

“She told me she was puking flowers.”

You felt like the wind knocked you over because your knees felt like jelly when you processed his words. “W-why would she? Don’t you love her?” A glimmer of hope shined inside you.

“I do.” Glimmer of hope ruined. “And she said she’s sick because she assumed that I had feelings for you instead of her.”

“Do you?”

“N-no.” He shook his head. That was the last straw for you.

“Well then, I hope you’re happy with her.”

You sat on the hospital bed, cladded in the usual white gown that you hated. You were preparing for surgery, more like your parents forced you but you didn’t spare no effort into arguing anymore. Jaemin’s intentions were very clear and you couldn’t just stand hurting yourself over someone who wouldn’t see your worth. You talked to the boys before you got admitted, and you made them promise to never tell Jaemin about your condition, which they agreed upon. You closed your eyes, waiting for your name to be called so that you could end your suffering.

“Babe? You okay?” Jaemin’s girlfriend asked him, seeing as he was out of his thoughts.

“Hm?” He looked up to face her. “Yeah, how bout you? Still coughing up... petals?”

“Oh! Not anymore.” She shook her head and brightly smiled at him, a sight that Jaemin used to love but now seemed unaffected by it.

“May I ask what kind of flower you got?” He watched as she hesitated before speaking.

“Uh, roses.”

Your surgery was over before you knew it. You were glad that you no longer felt the heavy feeling on your chest. Your mind subconsciously drifts to the fact that you’ll never be able to look at Jaemin romantically ever again, the thought bringing sadness but you pushed it aside anyways.

Jaemin asked you to meet with him, at the playground you two often hung out in. You agreed, meeting at the planned location. Seeing him on the swings, deep in thought. You crept behind him before suddenly placing your hands on his shoulders, making him jump in fear. Laughing, you sat down on the swing beside him.

“I’m sorry I was a terrible friend, and I have no excuse for the way I acted except for the fact that she manipulated me. I missed you.” He admitted, turning his head to you.

“I missed you too, Nana.” You smiled at him which he returned when you called him by his infamous nickname. Willing to forgive him since you didn’t have it in your heart to hold a grudge against him, to hold anything against him really. His stomach churned at the sight of you brightly smiling at him. “What’s on your mind?”

“She lied to me.” He bluntly responded, kicking at the pebbles in front of him.

“What?”

“She was never sick. She told me her flower was roses.” He hung his head, not daring to face you. “Roses! I don’t even like roses.”

“I’m sorry, Jaemin.” You frowned, wanting to reach up to him and comfort him.

“Don’t be because. I realized who I really love.”

“No...” You whispered, watching as he stared at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. You were dreading his incoming words.

“I love you, Y/N. I’m so stupid for only realizing now but I feel like I have known for quite some time and I never plucked the courage to tell you.” He smiled at you, not noticing your troubled expression

“Jaemin,” You shook your head, standing from the swing as tears began brimming in your eyes. “I can’t love you.”

“W-what? Why not?” He dropped his smile, standing up to face you. His height completely towering over you.

“Because you made flowers grow in my lungs.” You stared at him through your tears. A sudden breeze embraced your skin, adding more tension in your body. “A-and I underwent surgery just to remove it.”

“How long?”

“A couple months.”

“And you never told me?”

“You were in a relationship, Jaemin.” You defended.

“But I would’ve dropped it for you!” He gestured his hand in exasperation.

“How was I supposed to know?!” You argued back, fully aware of the tears streaming down your face.

“That’s so unfair, Y/N.” He glared at you though he was anything but mad at you, in fact he was more livid at himself for not noticing. For not noticing the way you would frown whenever he talked about his ex girlfriend, for not seeing how weak you grew the past few months because he decided to turn a blind eye.

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” You went to reach up for his arm but he retracted before you could even graze his skin. He ran his hand through his hair before covering his face.

“Can you go? I don’t think I can speak to you right now.”

You felt sorry, you really did. Not thinking of how your decision would affect both parties. You listened to his words, leaving him alone in the playground that used to be so lively but now just seemed empty.

Jaemin let out sobs that were choked back, screaming loudly which startled the birds around him, even kicking on the swing set which just hurt his foot but he could care less. Especially when he felt like something was clawing up his throat. He gasped for air before hunching over and hurling.

There laid on the ground, petals of your favorite flower.

#neowritingsnet #czennet #kwritersworldnet #nct #nct dream #na jaemin #jaemin imagines #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct reactions #nct fake texts #nct angst #hanahaki #jaemin x reader #jaemin angst #jaemin scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream reactions #nana

[empyreanwritings]

Caught in a Rainstorm

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: mild angst, some language, and a minor threat about kicking shins and breaking a nose, ya know, the good stuff

Summary: Bucky remembers everything about your relationship - the good, the bad, and the ugly. He doesn’t regret a single thing except for giving up on your relationship when he knew you hadn’t. 

A/N: big shoutout to @missmonsters2​ for beta reading this for me! it took me awhile, but i finally managed to write a full one shot! this is written for @hopingforbarnes​ 250 milestone - congrats again on reaching that milestone bby, that is huge! sorry this is late, but i sure hope it is worth it. my prompt will be bolded in the story <3 x

Bucky always loved rainstorms. On his hardest days, he'd step out in the rain and let the cold droplets pelt against his bare skin. He liked the way it stung because it reminded him that he was alive. People thought he was crazy for not running away at the first sight of lightning, or the boom of thunder, and maybe he was a little bit. But he didn't really care what anyone thought about him anyways. Who were they to judge? Everyone had something they loved, even if it was a little weird.

He remembered the first time he met you - you were drenched and shivering, cursing at your broken-down car as if your words would make it come back to life. He couldn't help you fix the engine, but he offered you a warm car and a ride to the nearest gas station.

At first, you had been wary. You even made a joke about the man that hitch-hiked with Jeffrey Dahmer, but the more you joked, the more at peace you seemed to be. It seemed if you were going to be killed by a stranger, at least you thought he was pretty. Which mortified Bucky the moment you said it but then all he could think about was how you called him pretty.

You were surprised when he offered to stay with you until the tow truck came. You had no issue waiting at the gas station, but Bucky hated the way the cashier was eyeing you and didn't intend on letting you stick around to find out what was going through that man's head. He wasn't really sure why he cared so much about a stranger. Maybe it was the way your eyes sparkled when you talked about how much you loved the rain too. Maybe it was your laugh. He wasn't sure, but he had to soak up as much time as he could with you.

Part of him didn't expect to see you after that day. He thought you would end up a distant memory - a ghost of what could have been.

When he ran into you the second time - quite literally by crashing his cart into yours - he forgot how to breathe. You were even more beautiful when you weren't soaked from the rain, which said something because he still thought you were beautiful even then.

It took you a moment to realize who you were staring at. The second you recognized him, a smile stretched across your face and you couldn't help but run into his arms to give him a hug.

He remembered the way you called him, "My hero!" Full of light and happiness. Like seeing him again somehow saved the rest of your day.

Bucky refused to let you slip through his fingers that time around. He had a feeling the universe was giving him a second chance by letting him run into you, and he couldn't risk disappointing whatever gods were watching him from above. The last thing he wanted was to be struck by lightning because he didn't ask you out on a date when he had the chance.

From the few hours he spent with you in the car, he knew you weren't a fancy dinner type of person. You were the type to enjoy long talks and getting to know someone; you liked to ask the personal questions that would make most people too scared to even think about asking on the first date. But you never shied away from uncomfortable questions. You always encouraged Bucky to ask you some as well, and it took him some time, but he finally learned that you enjoyed being asked the questions that made you think.

Going to a coffee shop hadn't been his first idea. He thought a nice walk around the lake was something you would appreciate, but the rain ruined his plans. He remembered how easy it was for you to adjust to the new date idea.

It was a blessing in disguise, though.

He learned so much about you just from watching the way you ordered your coffee. You liked it sweet because you weren't a huge fan of strong coffee taste. Lots of almond milk (because you were lactose intolerant and not ready for the date to be put on pause thanks to dairy). You preferred iced over hot. He realized you liked to talk so much that your hot coffee would have turned cold anyways, so you beat it by putting ice in it already. And you didn't use straws because you cared too much about sea turtles. You didn't even let them put a lid on the cup because you were going to drink it right away anyways.

Every detail he put together like a puzzle. Some pieces seemed to make more sense than others, but you were so perfect in his eyes that it didn't matter if some of the edges were jagged.

The worst decision he ever made was letting you go. Because through all of the good memories - your first date, the sound of your laughter when you tried to hold it back, and the way you'd whisper his name first thing in the morning - he couldn't get the look of disappointment in your face when he stopped fighting for you. When he stopped caring about the relationship because he didn't feel worthy of you.

The way your eyes lost a little bit of their brightness would be burned into his brain until he died, and he hated it.

Bucky was always a fan of rainstorms until he realized that he wasn't able to hold you when the thunder made you jump out of your skin. He'd hear the crack of lightning and wonder if you were hiding under the covers, silently praying for the storm to pass over quickly. He'd wonder if you were already with someone else and let them comfort you.

The cool of the rain used to refresh him until he had to stand outside your home in it, waiting for you to gather up enough courage to open the door. He thought the nerves were enough to keep him warm, but they just made him shiver more.

He wasn't sure what he was going to do with himself if you didn't answer the door.

But he never had to find out because eventually he heard the chain slide and knew you were waiting for him on the other side.

You seemed exhausted. There was no life in your eyes - no excitement in your features when you saw him. He tried to smile, but it faltered the second he met your glare. You clearly weren't in the mood for whatever he was about to say, but he appreciated that you were giving him a chance. Another reason why he thought you were too good for him.

You wrapped the cardigan around your body tighter and sighed. You made no effort to step aside and let him in the house. If he wanted to speak with you then he had to do it in the rain.

"What are you doing here, James?"

"I'm sorry."

"You broke my heart and all you can say is I'm sorry?" You scoffed. "Go the fuck home before I break your nose."

You moved to close the door, but he quickly stuck his boot out before you could. A curse sat on the tip of your tongue, and he knew you wanted to throttle him for showing up at all. He just needed a few minutes of your time and that was it. A few minutes to get everything off his chest, and if you still chose to shut the door, then he'd let you.

"I'm sorry is the only thing I really can say," he murmured. "I'm sorry that I just gave up on our relationship. The last few months of our relationship was hell, and it was my fault. I started thinking about how you were the only woman in the world I wanted to marry, and it scared the hell out of me."

"The idea of being married to me scared you? Gee, that sure is romantic."

"That's not-" He groaned and ran his hand down his face. "That's not what I'm saying! I…I grew up thinking that I was going to be the most successful man in the world. I knew that I was going to get married and have a bunch of babies. Maybe have my own company or two. Then I lost my arm. I gained a little weight. Nat divorced me. I was miserable and constantly feeling sorry for myself. And I met you - a woman who challenged me to be more than what the world expected me to be. You didn't even bat an eye the first day I touched with you my prosthetic, and you were the first person to see me as something other than broken."

Your expression softened at his words. The first time he ever told you about Nat, you wanted to track her down and kick her in the shin for breaking his heart. She never admitted it out loud, but he knew she left because she couldn't be bothered by his medical needs after the accident. It was too much for her to handle, and he couldn't blame her for that. You certainly could, though.

"The idea of marrying you wasn't what scared me. I was terrified that I wasn't going to be enough for you in the end. Terrified of disappointing you and making you feel like you were trapped in an unhappy marriage."

You straightened up, jaw clenched and eyes blazing as you stared at him. "James Barnes, have I ever given you a reason to believe that I would have been unhappy with you?"

"No," he mumbled.

"Exactly. I was happy. I wanted us to have our happy ending, and instead, I spent nights wondering why you didn't think I was good enough!" You snapped. "I don't care if you are insecure, you know I am willing to work with you on that, but you had no right to turn around and make me start feeling miserable about myself. It wasn't fair, and I'm not just going to pretend that it's all okay because you're standing in the rain looking like a sad puppy."

"I know."

"You are not a broken man, James. You are so much more than the accident or what Nat believed about you. But if that is what you truly believe about yourself, I can't fix that. You need to fix yourself first because I am not your mother."

"I know."

Bucky looked down at his shoes. Water was starting to bubble out from the sides, and he could feel his socks filling, but he wasn't going to complain. He'd deal with a lifetime of soggy socks if it meant he could spend time with you. Even most of that time was spent with you scolding him for his dumb decisions.

You held your breath for a few seconds, giving your heart a moment to stop racing. You never planned on saying all of that to his face, but it felt amazing to finally get it out. James Buchanan Barnes was the love of your life, but he shattered you. You weren't going to let him off easy with a few apologies and his damningly cute blue eyes. But you weren't going to hold a grudge forever either.

Growing up, your mother told you that relationships were work. The hardest conversations were the most important ones to have in order to make them last. Love wasn't always about feeling the butterflies in your belly every time you looked at your partner. Sometimes it was about just making it through the day, holding each other up and hoping for the best. And even on your worst days when you feel like you can't stand to look at each other, you were supposed to make sure you ended the night with an "I love you."

"Are you going to agree to go back to therapy?" You asked him gently. You weren't trying to make him feel like he was crazy, but you knew it was what he needed the most right now.

"I started going back last month. Haven't missed a day yet."

"Good, I'm glad," you hummed. You shifted back and forth on your feet for a moment before finally moving to the side. "Did you want to come in and dry off? I can make you some coffee if you like."

He nodded and offered you a soft smile. "Sure. Coffee sounds fantastic." 

#hopingforbarnes250writingchallenge #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #marvel one shot #marvel fanfiction

[fuckingdeadbutroyal]

Jasonette July- Soulmates AU- Part 1

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -

Marinettes knees were bruised. Again! She was so so careful not to ruin her new summerdress on the way to Ninos 9th birthday-party and now her knees were all red and scratchy. “Not todayy”, the little girl whined while searching for some kind of medicine in her small pink backpack, hoping to ease the pain for her as well as the cause of her suffering: her soulmate, who seemed to have an eagerness to ALWAYS fall on their knees. A few moments and a frustrated huff later, Mari found herself punching her arm for some kind of payback and wincing right after. Why couldn’t she just have a harmless soulmate-bond? Why couldn’t she just dream of them like Nino did or have a tattoo like Chloe? Why was her bond forged through literal PAIN? 

Rounding the corner, little Mari found herself in a field full of green and blue balloons with loads of boys and a few chosen girls surrounding a happy Nino. The boy was currently bouncing like a basketball and grinning from ear to ear, while sneaking longing glances to a table full of presents, as well as various treats from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Speaking of the Dupain-Chengs, their daughter was spotted by her best friend as she was about to put her present next to the others, which lead to him running to greet her and pulling the girl into a bonecrushing hug. Therefore Mari was left patting Ninos’ back and trying to catch a breath. “You made it! I saw your treats and I know you answered my invitation but I was still worried, this party wouldn’t be the same without you!”, he blubbered in all of his bubbly grace while trying to lift her, even though he wasn’t quite strong enough to succeed yet (which didn’t mean he wouldn’t try again tomorrow, he was now older and stronger than her, after all). 

Mari wriggled her way out of his arms, happy to catch a breath and giggling. A blush was gracing her face, leading to Nino blushing happily in return. “Of course I made it! I didn’t spend all week making you a present for nothing!”, she smiled as Ninos ears grew hot, “You spent a-all week making a present? F-for me?”, he stuttered with a big dopey grin splitting his face. Marinette nodded, another soft giggle escaping her mouth. All the guests were now watching them, holding their breaths. She handed him the pretty red box. Nino sat down on the grass right there in front of her and opened it, hands shaking with eagerness and breath held in anticipation. Mari sat across from him, covering her eyes with her hands, afraid of his judgement. This was her first time gifting someone one of her sewing-projects, after all. 

His delighted gasp led to her parting her fingers slightly, only now noticing all the tiny cuts covering them, no doubt the price she had to pay for still being clumsy at sewing (”even though I have been doing it for a year now, I should be better than that”, she mentally scolded herself). Her thoughts were interrupted by a round of gasps coming from the tiny audience surrounding the best-friends-duo. Marinette focused back on Nino and dropped her hands to her mouth, squeaking in delight. The boy in front of her put on the basecap she made him and was grinning even wider, which she, until then, wasn’t even sure were possible. He hugged her, in a much gentler embrace then the previous time. His fingers were soft, not covered in cuts and red spots, as he pulled away and took her hands in his, not caring about the giggles and ew-s from their audience, nor the blush creeping up Maris’ cheeks. “I love it...so much”, what he meant, though, was “I wish you were my soulmate”.

And Mari couldn’t agree more.

-----------------------------------------------

It was dark, a coffee mug was standing amongst an army of already finished ones and a droopy eyed girl was sitting in front of them, lazily turning a page on the book her english-teacher assigned her to read. She recognized the storyline, knew all the plot-twists and felt connected to the characters as if she’d been there herself. The strange thing about that though, was that she has never laid eyes on it before. Of course that didn’t stop her from reading it. There were assignments she had to fullfill and tests she had to ace, which were connected to that piece of literature and she couldn’t risk getting a bad grade due to a foolish reliance on her instincts. 

Instincs.

Yes that is what they are and of course none of this is connected to her soulmate. 

It couldn’t be, she couldn’t dare dream of it. They died, that’s what that numbness she felt for over six months must have meant. That’s why those scars were now gracing her whole body. Her soulmate could not have survived this. No mortal being could go through so much and still be breathing. 

The new bruises and cuts she was getting now and then? Her Ladybug suit can’t protect her from everything, being thrown over the Saine so may times couldn’t have left her with no traces whatsoever. Yes, that’s the reason. He’s not resurrected, that’s silly...there’s no way.

---------------------------------------------

“What happened to your lips, milady?”, Ladybugs partner purred as they layed on a roof not far from the eiffel tower, watching the stars, having just finished patrol a few minutes ago. “M-my lips?”, the 16 year old girl stuttered, a tiny voice immediatly occupying her, previously calm, mind with thoughts of her soulmate. They have been acting up lately, not that it was possible. They were gone. 

There’s no way, she must have been hallucinating again. She must have forgotten how she hurt her lip, she must be feeling side-effects from the loss of her soulmate. Her thoughts were spiralling and that tiny voice in her mind was whispering, filling her denial with doubts and cracks and making her heart beat faster. 

“Your lips, they look... different...”, Chat Noirs voice interrupted the turmoil in her head. Ladybug gazed over to him, only to find him closer to her then when they first layed down. His eyes were glistening, seemingly shining even brighter than the Eiffel Tower in it’s nightly glory. A foreign sensation ran through her veins, a weird tingling covering her whole body. It could have been mistaken for goosebumps, if it weren’t for the warm summernight they were currently enjoying. “They do..?” she said, though it came out as nothing more than a whisper, for he was already so so close, even closer than when they are in battle. Their noses were almost touching, his eyes took up all of her view and for once she wouldn’t dare complain. Since when does she like that proximity? Why is his warmth so intriguing? Why does she enjoy the way his arms found their place on both sides of her body? “They look so...red...like your suit...Ladybug re-”, he got interrupted by his lips sealed shut. Shut not with that redness he mentioned, not with that love or attraction and reciprocated admiration Adrien was hoping for. No, it was her red suited hand which covered his mouth to silent him. She felt it before she heard it. An earthquake was rummaging through the streets and handling it was much more important than handling that purring in her best friend.

-------------------------------------------------

Jason was annoyed. His fingers were full of cuts: sure, he was used to that. His hips were bruised from his soulmate constantly closing doors and cupboards with them, at least that’s what he thinks they do to cause such silly bruises: no problem, he didn’t mind dealing with that. His backpains he could deminguish by working out, though he has been thinking of finding them just to tell his significant other to better their fucking posture. But the tiredness? Holy fuck! It’s like he’s sleeping for both of them! Whenever he sat down to read he just... collapsed. Guess he’ll have to dream about it... yeah sure it’s fair, ‘cause after all she treated his wounds for both of them, too. It’s like she had some kind of superpower which made them heal clean, never leaving more than a white line behind. Nontheless, right then he would rather have ugly scars than have to deal with this inhuman tiredness. His grumpy grumbling was interrupted by Red Robin speaking up in his ear.

“Hood where are you? The portal is about to appear, we won’t be able to wait.”

“I’m on my way, give me 2 more minutes.”

“Hurry.”

With that, the line went silent and his mind went back to coordinating his grappling hook and limbs into getting him to the batcave in time. He had planned on finishing at least one of Terry Pratchets and Neil Gaimans novels in preparation for the moviemarathon he and his brothers had planned for the upcoming week. “Good Omens” is a masterpiece but he refused to watch any visualizers nor read the book if he hadn’t read all of the previous works the authors had published. “It’s not just about the continuation, it’s a matter of respect.”, he rememberd telling Stephanie, when she asked him why Alfred was handing him a box filled with a combined number of about a hundred books. He had work to do and reality to escape, but that last part was none of his lovely sisters business. 

Zoning back into reality he noticed he had already reached his destination. “Focus Jason. There’s a whole city just waiting to be pulled out of the ashes.” With that thought in mind, he entered the batcave and went straight for the portal, following his siblings into the destroyed city of love.

----------------------

Adrien was on edge. The fight has been going on for four days, the city was nothing but blood and ashes, the akuma-shelters weren’t enough to protect every citizien who has lost their home to the earthquakes and following akuma attacks. Many people have died, many have volunteered and too many of those have died in the process. It was traumatic, painful and quite honestly felt like the end of the world. They could fix it, of course. But to do so she had to survive and Adrien, or Chat Noir as you will, was not about to leave her unprotected. He didn’t know where she got her power from, why she could go on without taking a break for so long. He has lost count on how many times he saw her helping someone who was about to be crushed by a collapsing building, how many times she was screaming in frustration, torn between following the akuma and guiding a lost civilian to safety. 

It was an incredibly sneaky akuma. It was nearly translucent, consisting mostly of dirt and dust. It could hide in the mess it made, attack you from behind and you wouldn’t be sure whether it was a flying brick or it’s fist hitting your head. It hasn’t officialy announced itself yet, hasn’t given itself a name or shown any forms of weakness. Hawkmoth was definetly trying out a new approach and highly succeeding. The Dustmonster was probably planning on wearing them out until they wouldn’t be strong enough to resist it going for their miraculous.

In the beginning Chat felt like he could trust his Lady to take care of herself, trusted for her to keep the target in mind and think of a plan while he was going to protect her and the citizens around them. It worked, at first. She figured out what the akuma was, aka figured out that it was an akuma in the first place and soon started giving out orders to police and firemen. After a day of trying to get the akuma, in order to stop it before things could go out of hand and failing to do so, no matter which strategy the heroes tried and no matter how many seemingly random Lucky Charms they used, they decided to replan. 

They met on a building not far away from Marinettes home, Chat remembered. They were hoping to come up with a new plan and let Ladybugs Kwami recharge. The recharging was an already practiced routine they came up with, once her fifth Lucky Charm has also failed. They jumped into the water, which was apparently off limits to the akuma, since the dust didn’t settle properly and it wasn’t able to hide (any attempts of getting it wet were blocked by the destruction of another building, which led to the heroes saving the civilans and themselves instead of attacking the enemy.) One of Ladybugs Lucky-Charms straight up covered the Saine, turned up side down boats now gracing the surface. Those boats mobilised possible hiding and resting places for the heroes. 

That time though, they needed more food for Tikki and Plagg and what better place to restock could there be, than the famous Dupain-Cheng bakery?  Ladybug swung in and came back with two baskets. One full of cheese and the other full of cookies. Chat grabbed the smelly one and turned to jump in the direction of the river, when they heard it. 

A grumbling which turned into a roaring and finally morphed into deafening laughter. That was the first time they heard the akumas voice. Instead of shouting the following words, the way it did scream in laughter, it just spoke in an even, eerie and scarily confident voice: “You should stop asking for help, insect. Helping others only leads to you getting hurt. Help won’t save you. Your precious little safety-nets won’t save you.”, the sound was coming out of the dust, echoing off of every destructed creation, seeping into each broken bone and every fractured mind. “You think you can reach out? Think someone is going to pull you away from under the pressure of this worlds eternal suffering? You are wrong. No one came to save me, no one is capable of saving. You.”, the last word came out emotional. The monotone voice the akuma had previously used to preach it’s intents was gone. A shiver ran up Marinettes spine. The dust surrounding the city build up and rose in columns, coming out of every broken source from all over Paris, towering over it, looming dangerously over it’s citizens. Everyone was trying to decipher the meaning of those words, Adrien was the first one to realise. 

“Marinette!”

Ladybug first looked at him in shock, thinking he had figured her out, then she realised what he he had actually meant. Chat was off, jumping on her balcony and screaming her name. 

“No...”

The silence before the storm, the frightening towers of dust and dirt started moving, accompanied by horrified screams of terrorised civilians. The dirt wasn’t meant for them, though. It flew as if it were one. Gigantic snakes with one single target. 

Marinette ran, but the destruction was quicker.

The Dupain-Cheng ceiling collapsed. Marinettes yo-yo missed it’s target as she plummeted to the ground. Her vision was blurry, her mind blank, eyes wide and  breath unconciously held. 

She didn’t recognize the pain as she hit the pavement. 

She didn’t even think as she called out for her seventh Lucky Charm. 

Ladybugs cry echoed through the ruins of Paris as her usualy leather-clad partner fell from the sky, with tears in his eyes and covered in a red and black spotted suit. “Sabine she’s...they’re...”, both of them broke down crying in each others arms. Adrien never knew how great his partners pain actually was, in comparison to his.

---------------------------------

Hi! This is my first try at writing MariBat and my first fanfic in like... 4 years? 

I’ve just recently graduated Highschool so I’m now embracing my free time and trying to get back on my creative track.  

Please comment, I NEED to know what you think of this. Critique and all that is very appreciated, even a simple “YES” is going to absolutely make my day and, honestly, you could comment about dogs and I’d be happy to read it. 

Thanks for reading ^^

#jasonette #jasonette july #jasonette soulmate au #soulmate au #batfam #maribat #maribat fanfic #jason todd #marinette dupain-cheng #jason todd x marinette dupain-cheng #soulmate bruises au #ladynoir #ninonette #good omens #red hood #ladybug #ml ladybug #angst

[redhawtriot]

Baby Boom (Bakugou x Reader)

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

I am posting at not my normal time at ALL, but I really wanted to get this chapter out so I can work on my favorite chapter so far lol (month five is boutta be LIT) if the tags aren’t working i’ll fix them tomorrow they are acting weird rn. 

Thx, for the patience. Love y'all

extra chapter warning: sexual harassment, nsfw..ish

HnM 💕

Month 1, Month 2, Month 4

--MONTH 3--

It was a Friday night about two months ago when Katsuki Bakugou had found himself on the second floor of Club 52—or “the booty room”—as it’s so brusquely known.

But he sure as hell didn’t fucking belong here-- Surrounded by drunken idiots when he had to stay alert and keep his mind sharp-- groped on by inebriated/drugged up women who he would simply growl at in return-- drenched in the germy sweat of the fucking extras around him when he could be at home in his clean bed thinking about how to improve himself tomorrow.

Honestly. How in the flying fuck did he let those three walking hairstyles talk him into coming to this shit show?

The driving beat of the music dancing within his chest was his only saving grace, its constant booming throwing him into a state of familiar comfort as he watched the colorful lights burst around him. He had to admit… they were nice…

No!

Fuck that! He still didn’t belong here, dammit! His roommates, Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest, had all three nagged, and nagged, and nagged him to come here the entire week.

At their begging, Bakugou quite frankly wished that he had lost even more of his hearing than he already had from his quirk. Maybe he could find one of his old drumsticks and jam it into his head—or up those idiots’ asses, “Ahh! I’LL GO! JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” It was the only way to keep him from losing his job as a hero and committing a triple homicide. 

So yeah, that’s how he ended up in the booty room—and he wasn’t gonna gratify those damn idiots for even a second by enjoying just an ounce of the hellscape.  

“You’re not drinking, huh?”

A sudden inquiry snapped the man out of his thoughts, and he found himself whipping his head around to face the feminine voice that had cut through the loud room. As soon as his eyes encountered yours, Bakugou felt his jaw drop slightly at the sight.

But then he quickly noticed the way that your eyes flickered down to his mouth, and the mocking way that your lips began curving up into a smirk at his display. He wanted to kiss knock that smug look clean off your pretty face. He immediately clenched his jaw back shut and hardened his traitor of an expression so that no more slip-ups could be had.

The two of you sized each other up for a moment before you slickly glanced over your shoulder with a nod, “So I am guessing those belong to you, then?” you motioned toward Mayonnaise, Ketchup and Mustard—all three of Bakugou’s roommate idiots making a theatrical, display in the middle of the dance floor.

Kirishima—who had long taken his shirt off by this point-- noticed Bakugou’s disapproving gaze and attempted a wave back, only to lean into a drunken stumble.

Bakugou clicked his tongue, snapping his regard from the (flat out embarrassing) show “I’m not anyone’s damn babysitter. They’re grown men. They can fucking handle themselves!”

“Good… I’d like to have you to myself for a while,” you turned to the bar-tending counter and beckoned for two drinks.

Bakugou eyed how the man behind the counter ingested you. He was a lion looking for his prey’s weakness and you didn’t even seem to notice—or care. He glared at the man, subconsciously taking a step toward you to speak as the bartender handed you your drink, “For what?” Bakugou asked you flatly. He didn’t even know why the hell he was entertaining this.

You simply shrugged, throwing your eyes up as innocently as you could with the contrarily wicked smirk that befell your face, “To… talk.”

“Yeah right. You’ve got some freak look in your eye. You want something else.”

“Well, hell yeah! Have you seen yourself?” you laughed and Bakugou couldn’t tell whether the stutter in his chest was from your utter bluntness, or from the melody of your happiness, “Anyway, I wont waste your time—or mine. Come find me if you want to…” you trailed off as you handed him the second drink in your hands. You had to bite your lip from smiling too hard, “…Talk. Ba-Bye~.”

As soon as you were the short ear distance away and faded into the dense crowd, the bartender gave a low whistle, “She was fucking fit as hell. God, the things I would do to her!” Bakugou felt his face twitch suddenly as the man continued his rant, “She’d never be able to walk that pretty little walk ever again. Yo, let’s hope she’ll still be here by the time I get off!” he chuckled but Bakugou didn’t see any thing fucking funny about what the bastard said. He might live in what is effectively a hero’s version of a frat house, but still, he never understood “locker room talk.”

Bakugou angrily downed the entire drink in his tight grip in one long pull before slamming it back onto the counter forcefully. His red eyes burned holes through the bartender’s fearful ones—the cup breaking apart under his palm, “She won’t be. Keep your dirty eyes off her, you bastard,” Bakugou didn’t even allow the man an opportunity to rebuttal as he stormed away, his fiery glare set intently on one thing only—or one person only…

That night Bakugou watched intently as the ceiling above him teetered and danced for a moment—sinking into the deep feeling of numbness that his intoxicated mind had succumbed to after about his fourth drink. He wasn’t exactly used to this feeling—this caving in on himself and sense of absolute relaxation as he melted into his bed.

Sinking.

              ...Sinking.

Wait, was his bed really sinking? His eyebrows furrowed into a state of confusion before he heard a sigh coming from next to him. Things finally clicked into place in his slowed mind.

Oh yeah. That’s right…

He would never get used to having someone else in his bed, probably.

Bakugou turned to where you were imprinting yourself down onto his mattress. You laughed at his stern expression, extending your arm to caress the side of his face, “God, your face is s’ intense like that. It gives me chills,” your thumb danced across the permanent furrow of his eyebrow. There had to be a magnet underneath his skin somewhere right about there that kept the brows in a constant state of attraction.

He snapped his face away from you as the magnet’s strength intensified and twisted his expression even deeper into anger, “Heh?” Goddamn, you were a fucking difficult girl to read for as blunt as you were.

You march up to him in the club like you own the damn place and send him heart eyes and flirtatious body signals, just to stone cold walk away like he never even existed? You proclaim that you want to fuck him, yet made him dance with you for almost an hour before you lead him out?? You let him fuck you in thirty different directions, just to call him out for looking “intense?!!” His friends (if you could fucking call them that) always said that he had an ugly mug, the jealous bastards, but why would a girl he slept with--

“You’re jus’ beautiful is all,” you faintly slurred, instantly hushing any of his thoughts and softening his expression, “People tell me all the time ‘You’re a pretty girl! You should smile more, but why th’ hell should I go around smilin’ for people who don’ deserve it? If they don’ like my resting state, then—”

“Then they can fuck themselves.”

“Yeah,” you looked up at him with a lazy smile. To a sober mind there was no doubt that your expression was an obviously drunken happiness, but to Bakugou’s in that moment—he couldn’t help but think that maybe there was something deeper behind that smile. You giggled, “They can fuck themselves,” you agreed more heartedly-- leaning into Bakugou and rolling him onto his back before snaking your way on top of him. You planted a trail of wet kisses up his neck and finished by making a small bite on his jaw “And maybe you can fuck me,”

Your warm breath on his sensitive neckline made him shiver underneath his skin, but he prayed that you couldn’t feel it. He scoffed to cover the pathetic display, “Again?”

You laughed before planting even more smiling kisses all over him—pressing your body even further into his with each one, “and again. and again. and again…”

“Pervert.” Bakugou tried to grab you by your hips to keep you from grinding into him even further—or at least that was what he intended to do; however, instead he ended up using them to guide your rhythm in rubbing against him.

You laughed again as you sat up on top of him and pressed your hands to his chest—your hips far from slowing down or stopping, “Maybe so, but can y’ really blame me? I have this guy in bed with me who isn’t even tryin’ to make me smile, but I have been fucking cheesin’ it up all night with ‘em.”

Bakugou didn’t even try to fight the growing smile on his face. It really was damn corny and pathetic--whatever this was between the two of you. But it felt so… so fucking right to him.

Still, he was going to tease you-- otherwise he wouldn't be him, “Well, I have this girl in bed with me who won’t stop smiling and it’s really fucking starting to creep me the hell out,” he suddenly flipped you onto the bed and mounted himself on top of you before placing his own assault of kisses on your body. His face only reemerging to take in your stupid, corny, beautiful smile for a long second. 

You were absolutely stunning in every respect of the word.

Yet--

Two months later, the same face that now stood in front of him on the platform of the train station was far from smiling—honestly neither was he. He was pissed the hell off. You didn’t even recognize him until just now?? Was he really so fucking immemorable?

You backed away from the man who had just saved you from falling to the tracks. You took him in one final time as the two of you sized each other up, “I don’t even know what to start…”

Bakugou’s face contorted in such anger that it could have been mistaken for disgust, “How about you start by giving me some fucking answers!” he screamed, causing your heart to drop and your stomach to lurch. The two organs effectively were trying to switch places.

Oh fuck. He knew?

“T-to what…?” You trailed off, but you had a feeling what he was going to say next. He was gonna chew you out about the damn parasite growing in your uterus, but you had no idea how he could have known about that! He shouldn't know that!

Deku didn’t tell... He didn’t! ...Did he?? Your heart raced and assaulted your rib-cage with an armada of thrums.

“Why did you sneak out that morning, huh!?” as soon as the words flew out of his mouth, you paused—your mind not quite able to comprehend his grievance, “I was just some sex toy for you? That it??” When he finished yelling and glared at you with expectancy burning within his red irises, you found yourself tilting your head a bit in astonishment and confusion.

Your heart had dropped, but you couldn't tell if it was from relief or repugnance. 

That? That was the question he needed answers to?

In the grand scheme of the fuckery on hand, his damaged ego was literally not your problem. You crossed your arms as you stretched your neck toward him, “Because it was supposed to be a club hump and dump! So yeah! We were just sex toys! That was kinda the whole fucking point!” Note the fucking emphasis on ‘supposed to be’! Ugh!

A tinge of underlying hurt quickly flashed across the blond’s stern face. You gave a short, sharp sigh in exasperation as you laid your forehead in one of your palms, “Look, I am not exactly here to cater to your wounded pride. Sorry that you caught feelings for me, but I wasn’t exactly obligated to fix you breakfast that day,” the tired, emotional remarks flew out much faster than you could filter them, but you still felt a twinge of remorse as soon as they hit the air.

The man in front of your face look completely stunned as if you just slapped him across the cheek with your words. It actually seemed pretty unnatural on his expression—like a rare, endangered species-- something not many have seen. Soon enough, however, as the dust of your words fell his expression settled back into a more natural state of fury, “You’re fucking right,” he grunted before turning to exit up the stairs of the subway, “I’m not obligated to listen to this horseshit either.”

Oh fuck. What have you done?

You knew that you had laid it on pretty thick, but the emotions you felt were just so damn overwhelming, “Kacchan… I…!” Why couldn’t you have said something different? Nicer maybe?

Whether you liked it or not, your lives were now tied together and this was not a good first impression—or uh-- second impression technically-- whatever! “I promise you’re gonna want to hear the end of this.” you called to his retreating form.

Bakugou’s face shriveled even further, stretching its extent of maximum disgust. Hearing that name come out of your mouth left his stomach feeling ill, “I promise you, I don’t give a fuck”

You slapped your arms at your side as you finally halted in your attempt to get him to stop walking away. Fuck it. You were about to completely call his bluff because you definitely weren’t about to chase him. You were much too tired and emotional for this shit! You just wanted to get home and sleep these random-ass, foreign emotions away, “I’m pregnant.” you simply exclaimed.

Bakugou froze.

In that moment, it was as if the entire world around him had iced over as he replayed your words in his head over and over again. He couldn't have heard you right, “What?” 

The man felt every fiber of his being stiffen. So much so that he couldn’t even bring himself to turn around and face you. In your silence was his answer loud and clear, “How… how the fuck do I know it’s mine?” he murmured, still unable to turn towards you—he didn’t want you to see the raw emotion that his face probably held in that moment.  

You barely even heard him, but the weight of his words was heavy enough to slam down on your ears and cause a burning reaction from you “What?!”

Your shriek finally prompted him to whip himself around, and you almost wish that he didn’t. The mangled mess of feelings transcribed on his face left his cheeks flushed a furious shade of red as he shouted at you,  “You like one-night stands so much—how do you know it’s mine?” With a horrified expression, you glanced around you for a moment to the other people in the subway, who immediately adverted their gazes.

“Hell, You’ve been hanging around that bastard, Deku. How do I know it’s not his?” You looked back to Bakugou with a choked ‘Wow!’ that could be interpreted as “Are you fucking kidding me right fucking now??” These strangers were getting one hell of a show, too.

You stormed up to him to keep him from shouting your all of your dirty laundry into the air, “Deku and I aren’t—” You stopped yourself. Would any fucking thing you said to this man make a difference? He didn’t know you from fucking Adam-- or from fucking Adam. You groaned in annoyance, “Look! I know that it’s yours because you're the only idiot I have slept with in months! An idiot who doesn’t know how to use a goddamn condom apparently!” you half whispered to him as your spectators began eyeing you again. You flipped them off as Bakugou continued,

“I’m the idiot?! Well if you could ACTUALLY FUCKING REMEMBER that night then you would know that we did use condoms the first three times! They ran out and you told me to keep going,” He screamed—by this point you’d given up hope of containing your melodrama as he continued loudly, “What idiot says that unless they are on birth control or something?!”

You throw your face in your hands with a shriek of a sigh before looking back up to his furious face “Here’s the deal,” you decided to completely ignore his comment, becoming tired of this theatrical display of emotions spewing from him,  “I can’t spontaneously conjure up some proof that this-- this thing is yours but I assure you it fucking is. But hey!! If you don’t want to stick around, I am not the type of person to make you. I can deal with this myself,” his face fell a bit as you swiftly turned yourself around to make your exit, but you didn’t make it far before you felt a heavy hand grab you by the wrist.

“Let’s say it is mine...,” Bakugou offered flatly, “You don’t think I can handle it” his daring tone left your mind whirling. This wast a fucking wrestling match or even one of his villain attacks! He continued, “You’re dumber than you look if you think I’m gonna let my kid grow up without me. Give me your fucking number,” He easily snatched your phone from your front pocket with a slight protest coming from you, but ultimately, you really were tired as hell and just wanted this day to be over with al-fucking-ready. You sighed as he put his number in your phone—your mind briefly wandering why you didn’t put a password on the damn thing.

In a short instant, he shoved your device back to you and promptly turned on a heel. Only acknowledging you once more to tell you to “Stay off of the fucking train tracks,” before he stiffly marched away. Good riddance. 

You couldn’t even blame the spectators anymore. This was a mess. This was a downright, melodramatic, teen drama on CW disaster. This was… this was your life now.

Fuck…

“Oooh... no smiles today, huh?”

About a week later you found yourself walking up the stairs to a modern mansion with stupid windows for walls. A true sign of pretentiousness and obvious lack of shame. This house was a display for all to see... kinda like your argument with that Bakugou last week. 

You shook this thought out of your mind and put your ‘work cap’ back on. You were on your way to get some test shots in for the week with your new hair cut that the agency had forced on you recently.

Instead of throwing her a “What’s there to smile for?” like you wanted to, you threw her a “This better?” and forced a small smile at the girl, Dina, who had traveled along with you to get her test shots done today as well. Usually for these kinds of things, you would be alone as you traveled to the photographer’s house, but it was always nice to have someone come with you so you weren’t complaining—well-- not about her company at least.

There truly was nothing to smile for recently. You were pregnant with a raging, quirkcist asshole’s child, said asshole won’t answer any of your damn texts or calls that aren’t directly related to the prenatal appointment that you two have later today, Deku hasn’t been able to hang out with you as much because of his work, and as trivial as this may seem, you looked in the mirror today to saw a completely different person.

You were quite used to your agency drastically changing your hair, but that, along side the obvious rounding of your face and the speckles of hormone induced facial topography growing on your skin, led you to a slight identity crisis. The girl in the reflection was a sloppy second to who you used to be and you hated it-- you hated sharing this body.

“Trouble in paradise with Deku, Y/N?” her tone had a hint of worry in it as she rung on the doorbell to the modern house. You could only give her a slight shrug as the bell sung out,

“I’m fine. Really.” you lied. 

“Hello, hello!” The photographer’s voice loudly blared out before the door could even fully open to reveal him. He gave you a shocked glance, “What a pretty lady—pretty ladies!” he corrected as he stepped aside and invited you in with the swing of his arm. You rolled your eyes as he turned his back to walk through the house. He looked like the textbook definition of a douchebag. 

Fuck not judging a book by it’s cover. If it walks like a duck. Talks like a duck. Then it’s probably a misogynistic asshole who only got into photography to get away with his sick urge to take photos of unfamiliar women.

“Okay ladies, I just want to preface by saying that you can feel comfortable around me, alright? I think of all my models as a family,” Dina stiffened into a board as he came over and rested his hand on her hip. She forced her lips into a fine line that could resemble a smile as he firmly patted her, “This shouldn’t take too long-- only about five to six hours, ‘kay?”

Your face scrunched up, but you just wanted to get this day over with so you could go to that stupid appointment and wouldn’t have to deal with “Cockugou” for another few weeks. Throughout the next few hours, the photographer actually wasn’t too bad. He was for sure creepy, but you noticed that he wasn’t so bold with you as he had been with Dina earlier. Of course there were little off hand comments like, “You are doing sexy.” instead of “you are doing great.” And he would refer to both you and Dina as “baby” is a husky, drawn out tone—like he was moaning, but besides that he was actually being pretty calm.

Until he wasn’t.

“Okay! Now take your tops and bra off,” both you and Dina paused as the camera flashed once more. As the two of you threw each other a wary glance the photographer spoke up again, “Trust me, I have a vision. You’re gonna love it!”

“I- I just don’t feel comfortable with that,” Dinah spoke up feebly. She looked to you for support, so you nodded before she returned her gaze to him, “Do you think… maybe we could do something else?”

The photographer sighed and threw his nose into pinched fingers as if you all had offended him, “Look honey, you’re not that photogenic. I am having to bust my ass off not to capture that cellulite on the back of your thighs, so when I tell you to do something, it’s for a reason.”

You glanced over to Dina with a horrified expression. You noticed that her hands were clenched at her sides and shook ever so slightly after she subconsciously rubbed the back of her thighs-- you also noticed a prominent thigh gap in between the two tiny appendages. You shot your stern glare back over to the photographer.

He sighed again—this time even harder than before, “Take five!” he frustratedly pulled out a box of cigarettes and stormed over to his patio outside—the glass door slamming shut behind him.

You walked over to Dinah and hesitantly found your hands drifting toward her. You were never really good at cheering people up. Hell, you had to rely on alcohol to cheer you up for the vast majority of you adult (and a little bit of your pre-adult) life. Still, you took her shaking hands in your own. “Hey. Don’t listen to that asshole. If you’re not comfortable...”

“I have done nude shots before, but this just feels… wrong. Doesn’t it?” she refused to look you in the eyes as hers glazed over in a thick sheet of shame. She was right. Nude shots were nothing new at all. In fact, some of your best shots had been done in the nude—they had the potential to be true art, but this? This was wrong.

She shook her head,“But I just… I don’t want to be unprofessional.”

“We can walk out right now. I’ll call Ainu and tell her what’s up I am sure she’ll understand,” as soon as you began walking to gather up some of your belongings, her voice spoke up once more—this time much colder than before,

“Maybe for you. Y/N, you could get away with murder at our agency-- you know that, right? You’re the one who bought Ainu her ticket to the top-- her golden child,” she sneered. You threw your eyes toward her own—not quite comprehending if this was the same person still talking to you.

It was, but this Dina had tears growing in her eyes, “Not everyone can half-ass everything and not care…” her voice shook. The two of you just stared at each other as wild emotions filled your expressions and overflowed into the room to drown you.

The patio door clicking open snapped you out of your trance and Dina furiously began wiping her eyes clean as the photographer reemerged, “Alright pretty ladies! Who’s ready to get back into things?”

You sighed.

With a quick roll of your eyes you angrily threw your top off—not even giving the girl with you a second glance as she did the same and the two of you settled yourself into position. The atmosphere was certainly much heavier than it had been before, but the photographer obviously couldn’t read the room,

“Y/N might I say, that your tits looks wonderful! Have you gotten a job recently? I mean- they look huge!”

Okay. 

That. Was. It. You couldn’t fucking hold it back anymore, “Talk about my tits again and I’ll stab you in the neck with your own goddamn tripod,” you kept posing as if you totally hadn’t just threatened someone’s life, but the photographer fell away from his camera, shock painted on his expression. Slacking on the job. Huh, who’s the unprofessional one now?

“…S-sweetheart I—”

“Don’t you fucking ‘sweetheart’ me!” you screamed, storming up to point a finger in his face. This surge of random emotion overwhelmed you. You had never felt this before—like you were gonna explode if you didn’t unleash it. And unleash it, you did, “The fuck is your problem?! You get some kick outta being a perverted asshole, asshole?!”

Dinah tried to come pull you back by the shoulders, “Y/N, maybe you should just calm dow—”

“No! Fuck this bastard!!” you smack her hands away as the photographer gets up and crossed his arms,

“This is so unprofessional. You women always jump to conclusions. Why cant you ever just take the compliment?”

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TAKE MY FOOT UP YOUR--”

And that’s how you ended up getting sent home two hours early. You had attempted to call Deku to rant about the harsh encounter, but he was at work. You supposed that saving lives a a little bit more important than “The Dramatic Tale of a Quirkless Model” or whatever fucking CW show your life had become. Your mind briefly fleeted to calling Bakugou, but he certainly wouldn’t answer anyway. No. Fuck that.

So you decided to text Deku and cry into your pillow instead,

You:

[2:49pm]

I mean he was just such a fucking dick!

I should have actually stuck my foot up his ass but he for sure would have liked it🙄

Seriously. I don’t mind nude photos

But there is a difference between art/photography and porn

Deku:

Right!!

Well I’m glad you stood up for yourself!

You:

No! Don’t tell me tht!😫

Deku:

I am upset tha you stood up for yourself…?

You:

UGHHH

I just wish tht I had just walked out

But the other girl wouldn’t leave and I couldn’t leaver her their

There*

God

Ainu is gonna 💀me for this

Deku:

How can I help you?

I’ll find what I can on the photographer?

You:

Talk Kacchan into not going to our clinical visit.👉👈

You knew that Deku really wanted to go, and honestly you would really prefer if he did. Regardless, Deku stood up for his childhood bully like the saint he was,

Deku:

Y/N! He’s the father. he deserves to go, don’t you think?

Also!

Don’t forget Baby Notes vol 1! I wrote some questions for you to ask!

You stifled a small laugh as you eyed that stupid goddamn notebook he left on your nightstand one of the few days he stopped by your home.

You:

Grr

I can’t handle Cockugou’s moodiness right now

And I-- Oop!

Speak of the devil. He’s here.

Talk later k?💕kith!

You snatched the notebook from your nightstand and marched to your front entrance. The knocking at your door was downright disrespectful—constantly switching between pounding knocks on your door and vigorous successions of the doorbell ringing.

“Fucking. Calm. Down!” you screamed out the door before answering, revealing Bakugou’s stern gaze,

“What the hell took you so long?” he huffed, causing your face to scrunch up into an expression that mirrored his own. 

“I had to walk to the damn door, you know! I’m quirkless? No teleportation quirk here!” He only clicked his tongue at your response. You noticed the way his eyes drifted down to the notebook in your hands before they narrowed into even tighter slits.

“Let’s just fucking go, already,” he took your wrist and led you out of the house before shutting your door. You could really just knock him the hell out. Okay, maybe you couldn't, but your weak ass might just be able to get one good hit in! He deserved it, not replying to any of your attempts to reach out to him past talking about the appointment,

“Why didn’t you answer my texts all week?”

“I was busy.” he simply said, not even bothering to look you in the eye. This was the last time he spoke up for a long while. In fact, you didn't even hear his voice again until later when the two of you sat in the small, shoebox of a room in the clinic with the prenatal physician,

“This is your first appointment, right?” the doctor, was extremely old looking and your mind phased into a grim question of ‘how the hell can someone so close to death know jack about birth?’

You tried your best to push these dark thoughts out of your head as you gave him a slight answer, “Yeah…” you laid back on the crinkly paper covered recliner and lift your shirt a bit for the examination. You looked down at the small, hardly noticeable bump in your lower abdomen and internally cringed. 

“This is the father?” you knew that it didn't really matter, and that he was probably just trying to make you comfortable and spark up some small talk, but you rally didn't wanna hear it out loud. 

You couldn't bring yourself to answer, but Bakugou loudly spoke up, filling the absence of your voice, “Why the hell else would I be here, old man?” he scoffed and twisted his face away from everyone. 

You raised an eyebrow at his rudeness, but from the vast stories that Deku had told you about him, you shouldn't have been surprised. But still, it was like seeing a mythical creature in real life-- a grumpy troll under a bridge, if you will. 

The doctor gave a loud laugh at Bakugou’s remark, causing both you and him to snap your surprised gazed to the elderly man, “You’d be surprised at the shit I have seen, son. Someone brought their neighbor for the entire 39 weeks once-- the husband came in only once or twice, I think.”

You couldn't help but to laugh at this. Your doctor’s voice had a much more youthful demeanor than he had originally led on, “Oh, they were definitely fucking behind the husbands back,” you smirked.

“So Mama Bakugou,” 

And just like that your smile was completely wiped off of your face, “This is your first child right?” the doctor asked. You felt Bakugou throw you a fleeting expectant look. You assumed that it was probably because he hadn't even thought to ask you this question. The two of you really didn't know each other. Matter of a fact, this doctor, with your list of medical history in his hand, probably knew a lot more than the father of this ‘it’ inside of you. 

“L/N actually,” you corrected, “and yes, it is.” with that, Bakugou’s glare drifted back off into unconcerned and uncaring territory as he found a sudden interest in the glass container of gloves on the counter. 

“Well you look about 10 weeks along. They’ll be about the size of a strawberry right now-- almost done with your first trimester.” he trailed off as he began coating your stomach with some sticky jelly substance. 

“What??” you could have sworn that you had only met Bakugou about two months ago right? So does that mean...

“The date of conception would have actually been a little closer to about 7 or 8 weeks ago. We just count by the first day of your last period. No need to get worried about the neighbor, I don’t think, Papa Bakugou,” he winked to the blond, who only gave a scoff in return. You let out a slight sigh of relief. 

The recipe for the rest of this appointment as the doctor searched your organs for your uterus in the ultrasound included him making small talk and Bakugou ignoring it with you giving slight answers here and there,

However, finally, something really caught both of your’s attention, “I think that you guys should take time today to find your primary care physician,”

“Why not you, idiot?” Bakugou spoke up and it shocked you. You were surprised he cared about this out of everything. 

“I am thinking that I should send you to someone with a specialty in a multiple pregnancy birth.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you and Bakugou shared a brief, terrified glance at one another, “What...?” Bakugou spat.

“You see these two circles? It looks like you’ve got two buns in the oven! Congrats on the twins!,” 

T...wins...?

The world bean fading into a blur for you as he continued, “Now You are a little past getting the neural tube check, but we can get you started in on some genetic testing and counseling’s. Every thing is looking alright, but we just want to…”

The world around you moved in a blurry, choppy chain of images as your mind tried its best to comprehend the knowledge it had been given. So... not only were you carrying one parasite... but two?

You couldn't bring yourself to listen the rest of the appointment, and you had a feeling that Bakugou wasn't picking up on much else after the shocking news either. 

If you thought that commute to the hospital was quiet, the walk back to your apartment was even more so.

Taglist:  @steggy4ever​ @library-trash​ @watevermelon​ @glimmadora-ble​ @persephones24​ @dragonempress123​ @your-pri-ncess @broken-from-fandoms​ @hot-pocket01​ @tsukineho @bakugousbabydoll​ @bubbzibubbles @ikebukuro-ghoul​ @thehoneycookiecrumbs​ @katsukis-sad-angel​ @dulcetailurophile​ @yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii @kanasakura @lonekitsune @pastel-prynce​ @mynameispurple​ @cutest-celestial-princess​ @minfani​ @aurorahoneybuns​ @galacticrosee @orokayagi​ @centerhabit​ @animefan7420 @katsukisposts   @bakugou-is-my-daddy​

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou imagines #bakugou x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #bnha x reader #mha x readr #bnha imagines #mha imagines #mha imagine #bnha imagine #Baby Boom

[reyescarlos]

both of us are losing || a tarlos fic

word count: 4k || read on ao3

I know sometimes It's gonna rain But baby, can we make up now 'Cause I can't sleep through the pain

Carlos has always prided himself on his ability to keep his cool. He likes to think it’s what makes him a good officer and a great friend to those close to him. He’s patient and analytical. He examines a situation from all conceivable angles before drawing conclusions.

But even he has limits. Even he is capable of thinking with his heart over his head and, as expected, it hasn’t led him anywhere good.

Getting into an all-out screaming match isn’t how he could have seen his night ending but as he stands on the opposite side of the kitchen from TK, he doesn’t see how else this could go.

The evening had been going well until this point, the two sharing a quiet night in at Carlos’ place for dinner. As always, being able to share in TK’s company after a long day at work was the perfect antidote to a stressful shift. There’s never a greater comfort for him than to spend time with TK. It hardly ever matters what they’re doing. It’s always just enough to be around him.

These last three months they’ve been together have been a real highlight for him. Given the complicated path they took to this point, all Carlos wants to do is wrap himself up in moments like this where it’s just the two of them simply existing in the same space together.

With their meal done, they two work alongside each other in the kitchen doing dishes with TK on washing and Carlos on drying duties. TK’s phone chimes on the counter with an incoming call, the jingle echoing over the rush of the water from the tap.

“Grab that for me, would you?” TK asks, his hands covered in suds. “It’s probably my dad.”

Carlos drapes the dish towel he’s been using to dry plates with over his shoulder as he turns to pick up TK’s phone. His heart sinks to the pit of his stomach at the name he sees flashing across the screen. He stays frozen in place, unsure of what to think.

“It’s not the captain,” he says, his voice grave.

TK shuts off the faucet and looks over at him. Carlos holds the phone up for him to see the screen as well. TK sighs and rolls his eyes.

“I told him to stop calling,” he hisses, shaking his hand to get some water off before taking the phone from Carlos and rejecting the call.

Carlos blinks, his brain slowly processing what TK has just said.

“Wait, you’ve been speaking to him?”

TK sighs, ripping off a sheet of paper towel and drying his hands.

“It’s not like that. He wanted to apologize and see how I was. He left this long voicemail...it was so ridiculous. But then he called again and I figured he would keep doing it until we actually spoke.”

“When the hell did this happen and why am I only now hearing about it?”

Carlos’ voice sounds so different to him now and it’s evident that TK feels the same way because his boyfriend looks up at him like he’s someone else entirely.

“Carlos,” he says slowly. “Just listen to me, okay? I don’t want you getting worked up over this. I handled it and there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Handled what exactly? TK, what is going on here?”

“Nothing! That’s just it. There’s literally nothing going on here. God,” he groans.

“How can you expect me to believe that? Your ex is calling you. Repeatedly, apparently. Obviously something is happening. Don’t give me that.”

TK shakes his head and sighs.

“How long have you been talking to him, TK?” Carlos asks.

TK hesitates for a moment, pursing his lips before answering. “He reached out to me last week.”

Carlos stands up straighter, jaw clenched. “So seven whole days have gone by and you couldn’t find so much as a minute within any of them to tell me that your ex-fiancé reached out to you?”

“Ex-boyfriend!” TK corrects, as if that makes much of a difference in Carlos’ eyes right now.

He scoffs and shakes his head, wringing the dish towel in his hands. For a moment it’s too easy to pretend it’s Alex’s neck.

“Oh, well, pardon me then. That makes all of this so much better.”

“There’s no need to be sarcastic here.”

“You’re kidding me, right? You must be joking. I don’t care what the label is. What this boils down to is the fact that you kept this from, TK. What else are you hiding from me?”

“That’s not fair. I didn’t do this on purpose, Carlos, and I’m not hiding anything. I just didn’t think anything of it.”

“And maybe that’s the real problem here. You actively chose not to tell me and you probably never would have if he didn’t call just now.”

“Do you honestly think Alex and I are getting back together or something? We haven’t been talking every day, catching up like we’re suddenly friends. I didn’t answer when he first tried.”

“But you obviously picked up at some point and didn’t think it was worth it to tell me.”

“Because it doesn’t matter. He just wanted to check in and say he was sorry for what happened back in New York. I told him that I was fine, that I moved on and that I’m happy so we can just drop the conversation. He’s nothing to me.”

“It does matter, TK. It matters so much and the fact that you can’t see that…,” he trails off, shaking his head.

TK pinches the bridge of his nose. “This is all coming out wrong.”

“Then explain it clearly because I’m not understanding how you could think I didn’t have a right to know. It’s about respect and transparency.”

“Carlos, there was never a threat here. Our relationship was never in danger. I love you so much. If nothing else, I need you to know that.”

Carlos’ vision swims for a moment, his eyes filling with tears born more so out of frustration than anything else. He’s always been an angry cryer.

“That’s not how you show someone you care about them. You don’t lie.”

TK runs a hand over his face. “I didn’t lie to you!”

“Omission isn't the truth either, TK. It amounts to the same. Screw technicalities.”

TK jerks back, blinking twice. Carlos struggles to stop his heart from racing, his chest from heaving. The silence that falls between them now is unbearable. Carlos’ ears ring with their exchange.

This divide between them seems so much larger than the counter that separates them. Carlos has been here before and the ghosts of his past relationships start to creep into the room, suffocating him.

Carlos bites back on his lower lip, swiping at his eye. He feels like a dam that’s ready to crack at any moment. There’s too much pressure building in his chest and if he’s not careful, he’ll explode in a way that may cause far too much damage.

What he needs is fresh air and time away. This isn’t where he needs to be, at least not in this moment.

“I just...I can’t. I can’t be around you right now.”

Carlos tosses the dish towel down on the counter and walks past TK out of the kitchen.

“Are you serious? Carlos, where are you going?”

“I’m going for a walk, okay? I need some air.”

“It’s getting late and you’re upset. You shouldn’t be outside.”

“Well I can’t stay here so I don’t have many options, now do I?” Carlos snaps, turning around to face TK.

His boyfriend stops dead in his tracks. His bottom lip crumbles a bit but Carlos looks away, stewing in the anger that has taken root in him. This feels wrong but this frustration has its claws in too deeply for him to apply reason to the situation.

Other people get to rant and rave. Carlos keeps far too much inside. Now that the lid has been lifted, the steam has to go somewhere.

Carlos turns back, snagging his keys off the coffee table as he hears TK draw nearer once more.

“Carlos. Carlos!” TK calls after him.

It’s the last thing he hears before slamming the front door shut behind him.

~*~*~

Alone with his thoughts proves itself to be an even worse place for him to be. Carlos has no idea how long he’s been walking around his neighborhood but it isn’t long enough for him to grow comfortable with the ugly thoughts swirling around in his head.

He pictures TK being pushed too far with this argument, seeking solace in something familiar, in Alex. Logically, he knows that would never happen. Alex broke something between the two of them that could never be repaired and yet that cruel, insidious voice in the back of his head whispers to him, conjuring up imaginary scenarios that feel far too vivid and real.

Had Carlos not traveled this same road before with partners in the past? He’s been burned so many times throughout the years that a part of him had been secretly holding its breath just waiting for the other shoe to drop with TK.

Carlos has long since learned how to live with that worry lingering in the recesses of his thoughts. Even when things were going well, life had a habit of proving to him why he should always remain cautious and vigilant.

Certainly he and TK had gotten off to a rocky, awkward start with each other. But once they managed to find their footing, things had been going extremely well. Perfectly, Carlos would venture to say.

But inevitably, the end would come in the form of a boyfriend finding some way to let him down. It was almost always when he’d invested so much of himself. Carlos was worried he’d wind up giving away so many pieces of himself that there would be nothing left.

He thinks of the look on TK’s face as he snapped at him just before leaving. It’s enough to make Carlos sick to his stomach. He knows his insecurity has just ripped the bit of fabric that’s been binding them together this whole time. All Carlos can do now is pray that isn’t something that can’t be salvaged.

Even though he felt justified in being upset over TK keeping the truth from him, Carlos knows his approach was all wrong. Being quick to give into anger wasn’t his usual speed but he slipped into it as easily as a hot bath.

Picking the night apart, Carlos realizes how much he felt ambushed by the sudden appearance of Alex in his life. The man was thousands of miles away and yet he had placed himself so prominently into the future Carlos was trying to work towards with TK. The past had a nasty habit of circling back, the old becoming new again.

What really troubled Carlos was the familiarity of tonight’s scenario. He’s been cheated on, dumped, ghosted. Just about every relationship ended in disaster but he’d been wrapping himself in the belief that this time around, things were finally different.

You’re a great guy but…

I think we’re better off as friends…

I’m sorry to do this to you…

He’s heard it all before and then some. Knowing that TK had been harboring a secret like this set something off within. He knows TK’s actions weren’t malicious. Now that he’s had time to replay it all and truly recount his boyfriend’s words, he knows TK was just trying in his own way to shield him.

Carlos’ head is a riot of thoughts but the most pressing one is that he needs to set things right with TK.

He rounds the corner to his block, slipping his phone out of his pocket as he ambles down the sidewalk. He wonders if TK will even be keen on answering him tonight. If his boyfriend still wants space, he’ll of course respect that but Carlos hates loose ends and this one is a gaping hole.

He pulls up TK’s name in his favorites and touches his thumb to the screen, pressing the phone against his ear as he walks up the short pathway to his door and unlocks it.

The phone rings as he steps inside and Carlos startles hearing the chime of a phone inside his home. He follows the sound to the living room where TK is sitting on the couch, eyes fixed to the door. His legs are pulled up to his chest, his arms folded on top of his knees. He looks so small, like a child that has just been reprimanded, the cuffs of his sweater pulled down over his hands.

TK’s eyes are rimmed pink, his face flushed. The man looks as if he’s aged a few years in the span of time Carlos had stepped away. It makes something in Carlos’ chest crack open.

He falters at the sight of him, ending the call. In the silence of the room now, he can only hear the ticking of the clock as it counts the seconds it takes for Carlos to find something to say.

“You’re still here.”

TK looks wounded at the statement. “Would you rather I not be?” TK asks quietly, chin propped up on his arms.

Carlos toys with his keys before dropping them into the dish on the coffee table.

“Of course not,” Carlos replies, walking around the table to sit on the couch as well.

He leaves a bit of space between them, still unsure of what footing they stand on with each other. It’s reassuring to see TK now, to know that he at least still wants to be around him and talk this whole thing out.

“I’m sorry about walking out like that. I just needed to clear my head.”

“I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m the one that got us to that point.”

TK lets out a shaky breath and continues. “I’ve never seen you that upset before.”

Carlos shrugs. “I don’t usually get angry, especially not like that. I wasn’t myself and that wasn’t right.”

“You’re allowed to get mad, Carlos. If something bothers you, it’s only natural.”

Carlos shakes his head. “I don’t like giving into that.” He falls silent for a moment. “I’m glad you stayed.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I hate how this feels; this isn’t us. I don’t want you and I to end tonight on a bad note and have it spill over into tomorrow.”

TK stares at him for a moment and shakes his head as if to clear it.

“What?” Carlos prompts.

TK licks his lips and unfurls himself. “I’ve never been with anyone who thought like that. All my exes, our bad moods stayed with us for however long it took to fizzle out on its own.”

Carlos doesn’t like the sound of that at all.

“That’s not how I operate. Tomorrow is its own day. It shouldn’t inherit the troubles from today. I don’t like going to bed angry.”

It was an old adage his family swore by and Carlos had adopted the philosophy for himself as well. Harboring negative feelings was a disservice to everyone.

TK looks at him for a moment before lowering his gaze to his hands.

“I’m sorry I got defensive. I was totally in the wrong with this. I’ve been thinking it all over and seeing it from your perspective. I fucked up. Honestly, this whole time I knew I was messing up. You must hate me.”

“I could never hate you, T. You know that. I just needed some time to clear my head but I wasn’t walking out on us, I promise. I just needed to be alone and work some stuff out.”

TK sighs, letting out a relieved breath. Carlos feels guilty for making him worry.

“Did you find that peace of mind you were looking for?”

Carlos chuckles tersely. “Sort of. I realized the real reason why I blew up didn’t really have anything to do with you specifically. It was old insecurities rearing their heads and I caved. I thought I was past everything and all it took was one instance to show me that I’ve still got some things I need to work on.”

“Past what exactly? What kind of insecurities?”

Carlos sighs. He isn’t sure how to touch on his concerns now. It sounds so trivial and childish in his own head. He fears what TK will think if he brings himself to disclose what he’s been grappling with all evening.

“I know how much he means to you. Hell, you wanted to marry this guy, build a future with him. I’m not holding that against you, of course. It’s just...what you guys had clearly counted for a lot. If you had decided to continue talking to him or to even see him again, I couldn’t compete with that.”

TK’s brows furrow, reaching for his hand.

“Carlos, please listen to me. You win out each and every time in every possible way. Alex meant something to me. Past tense. As in used to but not anymore. I chose wrong with him but I know that I’ve got it right with you. That isn’t something I’ve ever doubted since meeting you.”

Carlos looks away, chewing on his lip. It isn’t like him to show his anxiousness like this and yet here he is, a ball of nerves.

“Talk to me, Los. What are you thinking?”

TK’s been so candid with him about his life back in New York, all the highs and lows of his battles with substances and depression. In Carlos’ eyes, those are real issues, true upsets that rank so much higher on a list than pesky confidence issues. But if he can’t be open with the man he’s in love with, Carlos realizes that there isn’t anyone else he can talk this out with. And besides, he reasons, his thoughts and feelings will always matter with TK.

“I’m not usually the first choice someone makes. Or...if I am, they always seem to inevitably look elsewhere. I never seem to be enough in the long run. Seeing that he called you, it scared me. I know that you love me and that we’re happy and good together. I know that we have something real and solid here. Rationally I know that you all ended on horrible terms. But even with all that in mind, I’m always so scared of losing you one day. I’ve had boyfriends run back to their exes before. I panicked thinking it could be the case here.”

“That’s never going to happen with me, Carlos. Never,” TK says quickly.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yeah, actually I do. I know it for a fact. I am so incredibly in love with you. I never thought I could ever be this happy with someone and yet, here you are. All mine. I’ll say it to you every day and you can bet I’ll make it my mission to show you too. I don’t ever want you to doubt your importance in my life. I don’t know what I’d be now if we never got together. Alex is barely a thought and on those extremely rare moments when he comes across my mind, all I can think is how goddamn lucky I was that I dodged a bullet there.”

TK laces their fingers, giving his hand a squeeze.

“I had no idea you’ve been through all of that in the past. Shit, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s dumb. That’s no reason to flip out like I did.”

“Of course it is; it makes total sense. I didn’t mean to add to that, to be another person on that list. But I swear to you, I will never make a mistake like this again. I wasn’t trying to hide anything or be sneaky going behind your back. I didn’t tell you because I honestly didn’t want you to feel like you had any reason to worry because you truly don’t. I feel nothing towards Alex or any other guy for that matter. But I see how not telling you was way worse. I should have been upfront from the second he called me.”

TK sighs and rakes a hand through his hair. “I’ve still got a lot of learning to do.”

“So do I,” Carlos says, searching TK’s eyes. “God, I was being so stupid and ridiculous.”

TK frowns and inches closer. “Shh, no, you weren’t. Your reaction was completely justified, a hundred percent. I didn’t mean to make you scared and I’m so sorry you were ever with anyone that made you feel less than. You’re the greatest part of my life, Carlos Reyes. The absolute best part. There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t felt like the luckiest guy in the world for being loved by you. You’re so much more than I ever thought I’d have.”

Carlos smiles at the reassurance. All the same, he can’t help but to feel foolish.

“Still, I’m so embarrassed,” he chuckles, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Why? You don’t ever have to be embarrassed around me.”

“I made something out of nothing and just showed you what a massive insecure mess I can be. Not exactly the finest quality.”

“If you say one more negative thing about my boyfriend I’ll...well, I don’t have an actual threat here. I’ll just be very upset.” TK kisses at his temple. “I love every part of you, even the messy bits. God knows I’m made mostly of parts like that and you still love me anyway. I don’t want you keeping up appearances or downplaying your emotions for me. Whatever you’re feeling or thinking, I want to know because it’s valid, Los.”

TK brings Carlos’ hand to his mouth, lips skimming along the back.

“You’re not a machine. It’s okay to feel things. And, to be fair, I went about this whole Alex thing totally wrong. I should’ve said something; I shouldn’t have kept that from you. This one’s on me. If an ex you were serious about did that, I’d want to know.”

“So you forgive me?” Carlos asks.

TK frowns, tracing the outline of Carlos’ jaw. “Babe, there’s nothing to forgive here. I’m not mad at you. I was upset with myself.”

“I snapped, walked out, and I made you cry. Those are criminal offenses in my book.”

TK laughs and shakes his head. “It’s nothing we can’t bounce back from, right?”

“Right. We’re okay. Better than that, even. We’re prepared if anymore exes decide to come out of the woodwork.”

TK laughs and nods in agreement. “Definitely. So, have we passed the ready-for-bed test now?”

Carlos hums in thought, standing up from the couch and tugging TK towards him.

“Not yet. There’s just one final step until we get the all clear,” he says.

TK smirks knowingly and tips his head up for Carlos to capture his lips. Carlos frames his boyfriend’s face in his hands, mouth moving over TK’s steadily. He kisses him deeply, casting out all the residual doubt and fear that’s knocking about, clearing it all like cobwebs from the darkest corners of his head.

He pulls back enough to stare into TK’s eyes, those gorgeous green irises teeming with so much love and affection. How Carlos allowed himself to give in to misgivings seems inconceivable now. No one has ever looked at him the way TK does.

“Okay, now we’re ready.”

Ready to put this whole argument behind them, ready to sleep, ready to tackle whatever obstacles may try to stand in their way.

As they walk hand in hand towards his bedroom now, Carlos feels as if he’s leaving so much behind. For all that he’s given away to people throughout the years, he’s struck by just how much the man holding on to him has given him back in return. And that, Carlos realizes, isn’t something anyone stands a chance of taking away.

#tarlos #carlos reyes #tk strand #911 lone star #ronenrubinstein #userjilly #sulkybbarnes #sunshinestrand #starlightbuck #usermaximus #userthai #useralie #brilliantbanshee #usermaddiee #userpauline #kimmy writes