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slyterinthings · 5 months

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Hufflepuff: I'm heading out, do you guys want anything?

Ravenclaw: Some endorphins would be nice.

Hufflepuff:

Slytherin: They want drugs.

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incorrect-slytherin-quotes · 1 year

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Ravenclaw, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Slytherin, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids

Gryffindor: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Ravenclaw: playing systemic oppression

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incorrectharrypotterblog · 5 months

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Hermione: why are threesomes only for sex

Hermione: why can’t I join in on a couples argument if I want to

#draco malfoy #fred weasley #george weasley #gryffindor #harry potter #hogwarts #hufflepuff #incorrect quotes #ravenclaw #ron weasly x reader #harry potter x reader #draco imagine #draco x reader #draco x hermione #dramione #fred weasly x reader #slytherin #incorrect harry potter quotes

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itstheghostofmypast · 8 months

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Y/N reading in peace.

Draco glaring at her

Y/N: *ignores*

Draco continues to glare

Y/N sighing: What?

Draco: what are you reading?

Y/N: shhh, I'm at a good part, he's talking about his crush.

Draco: THAT'S MY JOURNAL!

Y/N: You mean your diary?

Draco: No, my journal.

Y/N: Right...also, it's best to tell your girlfriend how much you like the sound of her laugh instead of writing it in a secret diary.

Draco: I'll hex you, I swear.

Y/N: Aww~ Like how you wrote in this last entry about me being able to hex your heart-

Draco malfunctioning

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apparentlytheproblem · 8 months

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s w e a t e r w e a t h e r

fandom- Harry Potter

pairing(s)- Draco Malfoy

a/n: so this one is based on a situation I've been in which had me bawling, crying and literally dying. I also saw something similar on Pinterest and I thought why not? requests are always open, love, teddy

requested- yes

warnings- none i hope

You found yourself in the edge of the black lake sprawled on a fuzzy blanket with all sorts of delights, giggling and laughing with a blonde Slytherin over something absolutley preposterous, the idea or to be more specific, the rumors between you and a Malfoy.

The evening was crisp already, the last of sunset just a fading pale stripe in the sky. Evening shadows deepened into blue and purple. the wind was icy and withering, it sent chills down your back.

"c'mon, its almost time for bed luv"

love. love? did he just call me love? am I okay?

"yeah, let's head back" you assented.

a cold wind swept past the both of you, Draco's eyes bumped together in a scowl and his nystagmic eyes hadn't missed anything. All he was waiting for was an ask and maybe a pretty please too.

"would it be alright if i borrow your sweater?"

their eyes my god, as if I'd say no, fuckin damn

"it would be more than alright sweetheart"

fuck. sweetheart? is he tryna kill me? what does he want? oh god

His fingers gripped the ends of the sweater covering his abdomen and quickly pulled his sweater of green and silver and handed it to her.

it was loose to say the least, but you loved it almost as much as he loved seeing you in it. it smelt of mahogany apples which he loved so much.

Draco towered over, trying to roll the sleeves for you, and grabbed your palm and began to walk as if he wasn't absolutley panicking inside.

"it smells like you"

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incorrectquotesharrypotterv · 1 year

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George: Are you talking to yourself?

Y/n: Yes.

Y/n: It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation in this school.

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marauder-queen · 2 years

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Remus: I think I am in love with Sirius.

Lily: I'm sorry?

Remus: I said, I think I'm-

Lily: No, I heard what you said, I'm just sorry for you.

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crackishincorrecthp · 5 months

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Slytherins: I'd never stab anyone in the back. That's such a boring form of betrayal Other houses: Other houses: You've literally stabbed people in the back, like, 50 times

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ravenclawh0re18 · 8 months

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Gryffindor: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Slytherin: I'm a knife. Ravenclaw, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

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bagerfluff · 7 months

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Ravenclaw: Quick your bleeding out! What's your type

Hufflepuff: Cunning, ambitious, clever, resourceful

Ravenclaw: No, your blood type!

Hufflepuff: *looking down* Red

Or

Slytherin: Quick your bleeding out! What's your type

Gryffindor: Clever, wise, creative, wity

Slytherin: No, your blood type!

Gryffindor: *looking down* Red

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slyterinthings · 9 months

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Ravenclaw getting their 5th cup of coffee/tea:

I'm sooo gonna die of a cardiac arrest

*sips*

Totally worth it.

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incorrect-slytherin-quotes · 2 years

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Ravenclaw: What's your favorite color?

Hufflepuff: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.

Ravenclaw: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

Hufflepuff: My favorite color is pink.

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incorrectharrypotterblog · 2 years

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*Harry and Ron arguing*

Ron: imagine waking up and the first thing you have to grab is a pair of glasses

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itstheghostofmypast · 5 months

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Related to His Honeybee

*Y/N having lunch and suddenly everyone goes quiet*

Draco *sits next to her*: So.

Y/N: So...

Draco: You wanna tell me something, bee?

Y/N: uhh...the mashed potatoes are a bit salty?

Draco *points at his cap then her* :THIS

Y/N: I...did tell you, you just left and-

Draco: No, where is YOURS?

Y/N *blushing*: O-oh..I'll wear it.

Draco: Good. *sits there at the Hufflepuff table glaring at everyone else*

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incorrect-hogwartsyay · 11 months

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Slytherin: Dude I'm so tired, I'd give anything to have 8 hours of sleep.

Ravenclaw: How about going to bed 8 hours before you have to wake up.

Slytherin: No, I'm not doing that.

#incorrect quotes #ravenclaw #slytherin #incorrect house quotes #hufflepuff #incorrect hogwarts quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #chat #hogwarts houses #gryffindor

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incorrectquotesharrypotterv · 1 year

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Y/n: Well, atoms never touch each other. Since we are made of atoms, we have never touched anything our whole lives.

McGonagall: .....

Y/n: So to answer your question, no, I didn't punch Harry in the face.

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