#rattyoakenbitch

[fizzyxcustard]

🌞✨🌸 💫 not doing this anonymously because i wanted to say that you're still one of my favorite hobbit mutuals!!! i've always looked up to you and seeing your posts on my dash makes me feel super nostalgic for 2020 when i was active on hobbit tumblr! it's nice to see that you're still here :)

Hello, lovely! So good to hear from you. How are you doing? Sending you plenty of love. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#rattyoakenbitch #ask

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲?❞ ─ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲

well, you may not like it but you better learn how

cause it's your turn now

❥ content ; gn reader, the company, crack fic, reader is from this gen, a bit of flirting but overall everything is platonic

❥ warnings ; language, somewhat lewd humor

❥ synopsis ; you have a strange sense of humor and it's hard for the company to keep up with what you say, so you explain yourself and teach them a bit of gen z slang 😎

❥ a/n ; this is literally just a stupid crack fic with my dumb sense of humor but yeah. if u wanna be added to my tag list, dm me!

It started off with a few.. creative insults, thrown here and there.

"Y/N, I am the leader of this quest, and you will not talk to me like that!"

"Or what? Cry me a fucking river."

"You best quiet down now if you know what's good for you."

"If you want me to shut up, maybe stop coming up with stupid things for me to comment on, you lumberjack lookin hillbilly."

"Who's Billy?" a voice in the back would say.

Despite any sort of consequences that may come, you just would never bite on your tongue. If you had something to say, it came easily.

"And just so you know, I'm not only insulting you, I'm insulting your whole family, you dense walnut."

"What in Mahal's name did they just say..?"

One way to get you going was if someone instigated an argument or annoyed you, that someone being mostly Thorin.

"Oh, power down, sass robot, and pull your head out of your ass."

"Please, you're so small and bitter like an espresso."

"Nobody asked and nobody cares that you're salty about Elves who didn't do shit to you. Your little Dwarvish cult isn't any better."

"Look, I get that you're short and stubby and you can barely contain your anger in that body of yours, but you are fr losing your gorilla grip on reality and you need to snap out of it."

"Go touch some grass lmao."

At some point, Thorin, who also had a large vocabulary, fired a shot at you, causing your blood to just about boil over.

It took Fili and Kili to hold you back from pouncing on Thorin and ripping his smug face to shreds.

"Y/N! Don't stoop to his level!"

"You're right, I'm going under it, muthafuka!"

Your colorful language wasn't just used in arguments, but in every day life, which honestly added spice and humor to The Company.

"Welp, the Orcs aren't far behind. Let's skedaddle!"

"Let's what now?!"

"VAMOOSE. SKEDADDLE. S C R A M. Orrrr dip, if you will."

"DIP???%+#!$!#("

Fili and Kili would just about short circut trying to understand what the hell it is you were saying, since they would hang out with you the most.

But that didn't mean the rest of the Dwarves weren't subjected to your 'eccentric' personality, as they would call it, and brain rotting words.

"Well, shit, at least you'll die doing what you love." You pat Gloin on the shoulder. "Say hi to Satan for me."

"????? If I die, I am haunting you first."

Gloin did not die and spent the rest of the day silently questioning who was Satan.

At one point, you were captured by the Mirkwood Elves and introduced to Thranduil.

"Yoooo? Elsa?"

"Mister Sir, I'm sorry, but walking around with eyebrows like that should be a punishable offense. Mf lookin like you stole someone's moustache."

"Oh - now I feel bad- SIKE!"

"Whoa now, I know you're old n all but don't have an aneurysm, that's not very girlboss of you."

After roasting the poor old man, you ran into Thorin again.

"OH! So that's why you don't have eyebrows!"

He would only walk past you and quietly mutter to himself, "Foolish modern creature."

In another scenario, way before being captured and held in Mirkwood, you were instead, hanging out with much cooler Elves, and met Galadriel.

"So.. You listen to Girl in Red?"

After explaining what the phrase meant, Galadriel finally got it and was flattered. She didn't answer the question, though.

Those were only a few scenarios, of course. Let's bring it back to the present.

You were walking along some trail together, doing quest-y stuff as always. You were in the middle of the group beside Fili, Kili, and Ori, who asked you to explain certain words and slang you used frequently.

"... That's... interesting," Kili trailed off mindlessly.

".. You have no idea what I'm even saying, do y-"

"Not a clue."

...

"... Y/N, what's a 'tiddie'?"

You let out a breathy laugh.

"It's another word for a woman's breasts. Or a man's. Whichever."

"Oh! So does that mean I have tiddies?" Ori asked joyfully, looking like a kid in a candy store.

You rolled your eyes, "Yes, Ori."

"What about 'mamas'?"

"It's mostly used if you wanna flirt with someone. But it's also used ironically because it's really kinda stupid."

"So when you say 'ayo mamas' to Kili, you're not actually flirting?"

You narrowed your eyes, kinda giving Fili a wtf look.

"No???"

Kili put a hand over his heart. "How could you do this to me? I thought we had something special."

"Oh, grow up," you laughed, playfully shoving him.

Fast forward to nightfall, you were forced to stop set up camp early due to some issues. The night only got worse when The Company couldn't seem to find enough wood to fuel a fire.

"Bruh moment."

"Quiet, Y/N, and help us look."

"I'm looking and there's still no firewood in sight, you fucking piss baby."

Thorin now had his full attention on you.

"Quit it with all this nonesense! What in Middle Earth is a piss baby?"

"I don't know, man! I just say shit to cope with stressful situations and the fact that I exist and I am in this bitch and there's nothing I can do about it!"

Thorin only blinked, looking at you stunned, and then returned to his work.

Eventually, firewood was found, and you all could finally make some food and lay out your bed rolls near the heat.

"I told y'all this manifesting stuff works," you joked to Bilbo, who was in line with you to get some of Bombur's stew.

"Do you think we could manifest ourselves to Erebor?" The Hobbit asked innocently. You laughed.

"Already on it."

You walked over to the 'li brothers' and sat with them after getting your food.

"Hey, Y/N, how do you say it again? This shit is bussin?"

You almost choked on the hot stew, and gave Fili a thumbs up.

"Oh, please don't corrupt my nephews," Thorin mumbled as he passed by, overhearing your conversation.

"Too late, shawty!" Fili called after his uncle.

Kili joined in. "Hey uncle! You look very pog today!"

Too tired to even respond to his nephews' childish antics, he again, whispered to himself, "Those two are going to be princes. Mahal, save us."

#thehobbit #lotr #the company #the hobbit incorrect quotes #the hobbit fandom #the hobbit fanfiction #crackfic #the hobbit fluff #the hobbit crack #the hobbit crackfic #rattyoakenbitch #the hobbit oneshot #thorin #ori #kili #fili #kili x you #kili x reader #thorin x reader #thorin x modern reader #fili x reader

[lathalea]

I absolutely adore all your thorin works,, especially blame it on cider can you recommend me other good writers who write for as well? I'm not a veteran in the fandom so i'm still exploring, thank you!

Hello Anon! <3

First of all, thank you so much for reading my stories! It warms my heart to know that you enjoyed them :)

As for other writers who focus on Thorin, there are quite a few good ones. I'm going to spam you with some blogs now, but these are not all of them because I'm forgetful AF (my brain = Swiss cheese). I bet that the second I post this reply, I'll recall a dozen of awesome Thorin blogs anyway.

Check out these blogs (in random order) for some good Thorin content (watch out, some of them may contain NSFW fics):

@technoelfie @scariusaquarius @fizzyxcustard (thanks for helping me out with this <3) @legolasbadass @legolaslovely @i-did-not-mean-to @deepestfirefun @rattyoakenbitch @xxbyimm @dumbassunderthemountain @crazytxgradstudent @fromthedeskoftheraven @kibleedibleedoo @thewarriorandtheking @bitter-sweet-farmgirl @averil-of-fairlea @shalinizhara @gwen-ever @luna-xial @shethereadinghobbit @elisethewildwolf @middleearthpixie

Happy reading, liking and commenting, Anon! I'm sure those talented writers will be happy to know how you liked their fics :)

P.S. If you're reading this, you're a Thorin writer and I haven't mentioned you here, I'm sorry, I suck and there's no excuse. Please DM me or send me an ask! I'd love to add you to this list, share your works with the fandom and spread the word about your awesome fics! <3

#ask #fic rec #fanfiction #ask box #thorin #thorin fanfic #thorin oakenshield #thorin fic recs #fic authors #writers

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Big fat thank you - Masterlist

So, yesterday, I was violently miserable…and I got a flood of recs // fluffy stories in the greater Middle-Earth region.

I wanted to make a master list of that…to give thanks and make this monument of love and helpfulness accessible to all.

If I’ve missed a comment, a reply, a rec, please tell me and I’ll add it. Tumblr is still NOT my friend.

I love you

People:

@lathalea

@fizzyxcustard

@determamfidd

@legolasbadass

@middleearthpixie

@xxbyimm 

@linasofia

@kibleedibleedoo

@bitter-sweet-farmgirl

@laurfilijames

@thewarriorandtheking

@lordoftherazzles

@ahufflepuffhobbit

@deepestfirefun

@theincaprincess

@shalinizhara

@mandolinearts

@rattyoakenbitch

@dumbassunderthemountain

@thorinthehottotty

@ruthoakenshield

@guardianofrivendell

@gwen-ever

@midearthwritings

@imnotevenhere9

@luna-xial

@thethorinoakenshieldsimp

@guardianofrivendel

@aurembiaux

@blankdblank

@omicheese

@voxmyriad

@kittenwritesstuff

@soradragon

@fullvoidmoon

@blissfullyshipping

@woodlandelfuniverse

@igotanaddixon

@theincaprincess

@claraofthepen

@legolaslovely

Stories :

Thistle by lathalea

Hearts Will As Hearts Must by determamfidd

[ ᴍɪɴɪ ᴍᴜsɪɴɢs ] the dragon slayer’s lullaby ❛ thorin oakenshield by the writing doll

Arkenrocks by Cimilia

Gulmalûm by telltalelily

The Great Shire Conspiracy, by Avelera

The Bagginses’ Guide to a happy Courtship by penlessismyname

All the Rivers Sound in My Body by Pibroch

Victory Braid by smilebackwards

A Common Tongue by Weahlhtheow21

http://www.councilofelrond.com/subject/my-lord-thy-blood-pressure/

#fanfiction #thorin oakenshield #ao3 #writing #fluff #dwarves #elves #solace #comfort #help #list of works #masterlist #thank you #I love you

[fancat-not-fangirl]

How are you like your fandom’s characters?

Fun tag idea! Real simple: name three characters and one thing you have in common with each of them! Can be obvious or subtle, canon, or assumed!

I got tagged by @bagel-rights-activist tysm 😍 🥰 😘

1. Dean Winchester: I’ll name more than one oopsies. We both like rock music, pie and burgers are heaven, I hate flying on planes too, I’m the older sister but I’m shorter, and Humor Is A Defense Mechanism

2. Charlie: Fangirl Queen, so many fandoms and I’m not afraid to show it. Merch is Important and I will also dance in public elevators lol

3. Sam Gamgee: Loyal to a fault and love potatoes (boil ‘em mash ‘em stick ‘em in a stew)

tagging: @cyxnrose @jellydeans @goindowninablazeofglory @winchester-thedate @burning-all-of-my-bridges @rattyoakenbitch @im-sam-fucking-winchester @dreaming-in-destiel @fanv3rgent @anyone else who wants to do this

#got tagged #about me

[watarigarasu]

I found this adorable picrew and couldn’t resist so...

Tagging @dumbassunderthemountain​ @fizzyxcustard​ @scariusaquarius​ @rattyoakenbitch​ @luna-xial​ in case you want to try it! <3

#tag game

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲❞ ─ 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝

but when he loves me i feel like i'm floating

when he calls me pretty i feel like somebody

❥ content ; little gn reader, sfw agere, corpse is a cg, mostly fluff with a smidge of angst

❥ warnings ; daddy issues, childhood trauma, hints of emotional & verbal abuse and of course age regression if ur uncomfy w that stuff. also pet names and the use of the word "daddy" but not in a sexual/smutty context!!! agere is not a kink!!!

❥ synopsis ; you age regress to cope and corpse takes care of you through it all

❥ a/n ; i got a request to write this agere fic a couple months ago on my wattpad! i myself used to be a part of the agere community but it has been years so i forgot a lot of what i learned. however, unlike age play and cgl, agere is just a coping mechanism and totally nonsexual!! pls do ur research before u attack members of the agere community (: ur coping mechanisms are valid!!!

With a frustrated groan, you push yourself away from your desk, now spinning slowly on your little office type chair.

You had procrastinated and hadn't done any of your work, and even when you did try to finish it, you were easily distracted or discouraged by intrustive thoughts.

Your mind would never fail to drift back to memories of when you were younger. However, those memories weren't exactly fond or anything you'd even want to remember.

Yet they were there, either popping up unexpectedly or lingering in the back of your unconcious mind.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt two strong arms wrap around you, causing you to nearly jump out of your seat.

Corpse hummed. "Are you done with your work yet, darling?"

"Can't finish it.. My brain doesn't wanna co-operate with me today, or ever," you whine, feeling angry tears begin to form behind your waterline.

Corpse sensed the anxiety and frustration in your voice and immediately knew the cause.

"You're not a failure, Y/N. Your father was wrong, and you know it."

"Yeah, but hearing his words in my head don't exactly help when I'm trying to work."

"I know, baby, I know," Still not letting you free from his embrace, Corpse held your significantly smaller hands in his. "But he's not here. It's just me, doll. You're safe."

He knew what he was doing. And he knew that you knew.

You pulled away from his hold, now standing up to face him. He as well stood up to his full height, looking down at you with soft, comforting eyes.

"A-Are you sure I can..?" You ask timidly, looking down at the floor to avoid his gaze. He nods encouragingly.

"Of course, doll. I'll take care of you."

He brings his hand to caress your face and tilts it upwards so your eyes met.

Your eyes dart across the room, looking anywhere but into Corpse's own eyes.

"Tsk, eyes on me, baby."

You hesitantly bring your eyes back to meet his, prompting Corpse to praise you. You feel the blood rush to your cheeks at this.

"You promise?? I don't wanna be a distraction, I-"

Wordlessly, Corpse brushes his thumb on your bottom lip, causing you to quiet down immediately.

"What are you saying? I always have time for you. Now c'mon."

You giggle as Corpse lifts you up into his arms bridal style and takes you to the living room.

You end up watching a Studio Ghibli movie together, tucked underneath blankets and with you snuggled up into Corpse's chest.

At some point during the movie, you unwrap one of Corpse's arms around you and take his hand. This causes Corpse to unconciously hold your hand in his big, calloused ones, adorned with metal rings.

You both look down to where he held you.

"Awe, now would you look at that. Your hand looks so cute, the way it fits in mine," he coos, causing you to sink further into your blankets, hiding your blush.

"Mm stop," you pout, only making Corpse chuckle some more.

"You're hiding because you're blushing?"

"Yes!! Now stop laughing, you big meanie."

Corpse only responds by lifting you back onto his lap, resting his chin on your head.

"Aww, you really are blushing like a rose," Corpse fawns. "Aren't you just a pretty little thing?"

You decide not to sass back and instead accept the praise.

As you both refocused your attention on the screen, Corpse lets go of your hand and instead runs his fingers through your hair. You hum in satisfaction, leaning into his touch. Corpse continues to do this all while he whispers sweet nothings and praises in your ear until you drift off into a blissful sleep.

After what feels like an hour later, but was really just thirty minutes, Corpse's phone chimes, his screen lighting up to reveal a text notification.

As softly as he can, Corpse reaches over to the side table to grab his phone. Despite his efforts, you wake up from the movement and the sudden lack of warmth that was once wrapped around your body.

You huff in annoyance.

"I thought you said you weren't busyyy."

"I know, little one. Sean wants me to join a game with the others. If you want, you can watch us play. We won't be streaming."

You nod in agreement, and once again, Corpse carries you into the studio, setting you down on his lap soon as he sits down.

You hear a little beep, followed by a variety of voices, all talking above one another. It comes to a stop, though, and you're relieved of the overstimulation as soon as they realize Corpse had joined the call.

"Hey, Corpse is here!"

"What's up, Corpse?"

"Hey guys," Corpse greets them. "I hope you don't mind that Y/N's with me right now. They're little again and I promised I'd spend time with them."

You heard some 'aww's' in the back as voices overlapped again.

"Oh, no, yeah of course we're okay with that."

"That's really sweet!"

"All right, guys, no cursing or excessive yelling! If you scare Y/N, you're gonna have me to answer to!"

Though they couldn't see you, you still shyly huddled closer into Corpse's chest. Corpse's friends, being your friends as well, knew that you were an age regressor and were fully supportive and accepting. So this wasn't the only occassion where they'd played with little you around to watch.

"Thank you," you mumbled sleepily into the mic before yawning and laying back down into Corpse.

He gives you a kiss on the top of your head before he goes back to chatting and playing with his friends. An hour passes, and then it's night. The cold nighttime air seeps in through the windows, causing goosebumps to form on your exposed skin.

Silently, you tug at Corpse's hoodie, prompting him to look down at you. Though you've been quiet throughout the past hour, Corpse hadn't forgotten about you.

He raises a brow, confused for a second until you grab at his hoodie again with pleading eyes.

"'M cold, daddy."

"Shh, okay, baby, I got you."

Corpse pulls his sweater over his head, and on instinct, you raise your arms up as well. Corpse takes his hoodie and puts it on you, causing you to giggle in delight.

"There you go. Is that better?"

You beam, "Mhm!"

As Corpse shared this moment with you, he was still blissfully unaware that his mic was still on. That was, until he heard the choruses of "awe's" in his headphones.

#corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfic #corpse x gn reader #gn reader #agere little #sfw #corpse x little reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x you #rattyoakenbitch #mcyt #youtubers #corpse husband fluff #tw: daddy issues #tw: childhood trauma

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞❞ ─ 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝

i never really noticed

that i had to decide

to play someone's game,

or live my own life

and now i do,

i wanna move

out of the black

into the blue

❥ content ; gn reader, angst, happy ending, comfort, fluff

❥ warnings ; language, anxiety, dark topics such as sx!c!de, depression, s/h. triggering dialogue. do not read if you’re struggling with sx!c!dxl thoughts. this will not be a safe experience.

❥ synopsis ; n/a, too lazy to write tbh

❥ a/n ; hi!!! please read this!!! okay hi (: if you’ve been following me since 2020, you know i used to write a lot of thorin x readers. obviously a lot has changed since 2020. i gradually stopped being active on tumblr. or i wouldnt write fics that catered to the hobbit fandom, which is a majority of my followers. the reason for that is, well, i haven’t really grown out of lotr / th. it’s not one of those things i’ll ever grow out of. it’s my comfort fandom / trilogy. i just couldn’t bring myself to watch them for a while. didn’t have motivation to write, either. it should’ve brought happy memories, but rewatching the trilogy and trying to write fics about it just made me sad. after september of 2020, i started getting depressed. it only got worse because i can’t afford treatment. i stopped participating in my favorite hobbies. i was m.i.a from all social medias. from the summer of 2021 to now, november 2021, i was, and still sort of am, extremely sx!c!dxl. i’ve watched myself, things, and people around me, change. i moved to a completely different place. ten hours or more from where i grew up. i lost and gained friends. a lot changed within a year. it really scares me. even if i haven’t exactly lived a long life, i still look back on the years that have gone by and it makes me cry. i was an enthusiastic person who would indulge in their favorite activities every day, but now i’ve been reduced to a crying mess. this fic is about that. while yes, it’s still about a fictonal character that shouldnt seem too deep, it’s my most vulnerable fic. thorin has always been my comfort character and though i’m not as active in the lotr / hobbit fandom as i used to be, it will forever have a special place in my heart. it reminds me of innocence and i hope that maybe someone can connect to this. sorry for the long a/n lol if youre still reading this.

Get. Up.

...

Get. Up.

...

Get. Up.

...

What’s wrong with you? Just move your limbs.

...

A heavy sigh leaves your lips.

Like a sloth, you drowsily remove the covers from your body.

“Okay. Getting somewhere,” you whispered to yourself. You use all your strength to lift yourself off the bed to stand. And then..

Nothing.

You don’t move. You don’t walk to your closet to change out of the same robe you’ve been wearing for a week straight. You don’t go to your mirror to brush the knots out of your hair. You don’t go to your bath to wash off the oil and grime on your skin.

You just stand, still as a statue, shoulders hunched, eyelids threatening to shut.

It feels like years have passed before you move again.

Slowly, you make your way to the bath. The once hot water was now cold to the touch after hours of letting it sit there. Thorin had one of the servants fill it before he left your chambers, hoping you would finally use it. He guessed you most likely wouldn’t. You push the robe off your shoulders and let it fall to your feet. Then you climb into the tub, suppressing a wince at the feeling of the icy water prickling your skin like needles.

Instead of sitting there and staring at the wall for hours, you wash yourself the best you could. You rub the dirt off your face and remove the oil from your locks, almost feeling like a completely different person when you step out of the tub.

“Getting somewhere..” you repeat. Picking up the dirty robe off the floor, you place it somewhere in the room and instantly forget about it.

After slipping on some new clothes, you hesitantly look in the mirror. The person in the reflection is startling. But it’s you. Pale, eyes dark and wide in shock. You bring your hand up to the mirror, fingers pressed against the glass, no doubt leaving prints.

What happened to you?

You were a ruler. Or supposed to be. But that thing in the mirror.. That was no ruler. That wasn’t someone anyone should be bowing to. That was a...

y̵͓͗̽̈̌͝ǫ̶͎̹̭͆͜ͅű̸͔̬͂̽ ̴̣̖̭̫̳̗̾d̸͇̪͕͒̋͝͝ȋ̵̘̮͋̇͐̇͋��̘̖̝g̵̡͕͈̅́u̸̡̚s̸̝̦̱̞̹͒̏́͜t̸̫̤̖͙̭̆͌͝ ̸̡̥̱̾̔̂̌́͠ͅͅm̷̜̖̹̰͍̌͐̆͒͝ë̶̜̖̣̙̜̣́̓̏̈́̈́

You squeeze your eyes shut and press your hands against the sides of your head, as if it would quiet your mind. It did.

Right now, you needed to force yourself to focus on the important things. You had a task; leaving your chambers for the first time in forever.

Your heart was already thudding at the thought of it, and though you wanted to hide under your covers, you pushed open the doors to the outside world. The halls were wide and seemed to stretch on forever. It was almost unfamiliar, but as you walked down them, you remembered..

You remembered walking hand in hand with Thorin, laughing about something silly he said.  You remembered running around, playing childish games with the nephews.  Or running in fear, a burst of fire right on your tail the smell of dragon’s breath filling the air.

You also remembered chatting it up with relatives and friends, talking about everything and nothing as you strolled down the intricate, emerald halls. Occasionally a laugh would echo, followed by more laughter. The sound of comfort and family in your ears.

But now, you were walking down the cold corridor, the only sound being your small footsteps. You were alone. For a minute, at least. As you made your way to... Well, you didn’t even know where it was you were headed to. But eventually you bumped into two servants. They almost passed without noticing you, but when they glanced your way, they had to do a double take.

“Oh! Your Majesty,” they gasped in disbelief, curtsying shortly after. “I hope we didn’t offend you,” one said. “We hadn’t seen you in so long. It took a bit to recognize you.”

Just their way of saying you look pathetic.

They both gave you a soft smile, but you knew it was out of pity. You didn’t say anything, only nodding before walking off. You swore you could hear whispers behind you, but you didn’t bother. You knew it was probably something like, “Why does the king even keep her around?” or meaner variations. You didn’t blame them. You wanted to ask the same thing.

The past week, you've done nothing but lay in bed and cry. You would cry until you were hyperventilating and aching. You would cry until you physically couldn't. You'd beat your fists against Thorin's chest when he wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. He wouldn't make a single noise, never told you to shut up when you continued to sob and shriek "why?!" over and over. You didn't even know what you were asking him. It was the only thing you managed to choke out.

And Thorin took all of it. He didn't complain, didn't mock you. He didn't force you to get out of bed to attend important meetings. Of course, it hurt him that he had to leave you every day, morning till night time. But you didn't want to be a burden, so you lied to him. You reassured him with a smile, saying, "It's all right, amralime. You go. I'll be okay here. I just need to rest."

Every time, he'd give you sad, worried eyes. And it hurt you that he cared. It hurt you because you were hurting him and you couldn't do anything to stop.

Somehow, you ended up outside. Somewhere in a garden, trees and flowers and fruits surrounding you. You lied on the grass, gazing up at the dark blue & orange sky, littered with thin, white clouds that birds glided through every other minute. The sight was gorgeous. It should've made you happy. You should've been smiling as you soaked in the view. Instead.. nothing.

You stared up at the sky with a blank expression on your face. You were unmoved. Numb. You looked at the sky and thought back to a time where watching a simple sunset made you grin from ear to ear. But even now you didn't feel much. Everything seemed so bleak.

Hot tears gathered in the corner of your ear and spilled down your face. You wiped them away angrily, tired of crying like a child.

"Y/N!"

Two familiar voices brought you back to the present. You sat up, your eyes finding Kili & Fili's. Their mouths were curled up in excited smiles as they ran towards you. You picked yourself up and opened your arms to your nephews, who almost crushed you in theirs. You couldn't help but laugh. You didn't realize how much you missed them until now. Eventually you pulled away, and it took everything to not look down and avoid their gaze. Did they notice you were crying?

"Y/N! It's been too long!" Fili said. "We missed you."

"It's only been a week," you shrugged, trying to downplay it. "But I missed you too. I wasn't feeling well so I had to rest for a while. It might have been a seasonal thing."

"Well you're here now," Kili beamed. "That must mean you're better!"

If only they knew.

"Of course," you lied. "But I wasn't able to make it to the meeting today. I was in bed too long."

"Thorin will fill you in on what you've missed out on. Then you'll be back on track," Fili reassured.

Thorin. Oh, fuck. You've almost forgotten about him. How could you? How could you forget about your own husband?

"Thorin!" You blurt out. "I- mean, is Thorin.. How has he been?"

"The same," Kili said too quickly. "Why do you ask?" It was easy to see through his lies. But did that mean they could also see through yours? What if they knew you weren't actually ill? What if Thorin told them about the nights where you'd throw fits? What if-

"Are you sure?"

The brothers look between each other, then back at you.

"To be truthful.. We've noticed he's been more antsy than usual-"

Fili cut Kili off. "He's stressed out, Y/N. He's worried about you."

You get a pit in your stomach at the serious look the brothers give you. Guilty. You felt so guilty.

What were you putting him through?

"What do you mean?"

You know exactly what they mean.

Kili gulped. "Thorin spoke with us. He told us you were getting worse and he didn't know what to do to help. He said the doctors couldn't do much and that you were just.." He trailed off.

"I need to go." You don't wait for an answer as you make your way out of the garden, your walk becoming a full on sprint. You force yourself to ignore the brothers' shouts and pleas. You needed to find Thorin. It was already dark out. He must've been in the chambers by now.

But when you returned, it was cold and empty. No Thorin. You were alone again.

So you screamed. You screamed your throat raw. And despite the screams, nobody came. So you didn't stop. You didn't stop until you were coughing and gagging and choking on your own breath. You didn't even know why you were screaming. Were you angry? Sad? You just didn't know. As if you were detached from your emotions entirely.

The only thing you felt was heavy. Your heart. Your head. Your body. You needed release. You needed to cut it out.

You found a knife. A small, pocket knife. One of Thorin's. You unsheathed it and weighed it in your hand, before rolling up one of your sleeves. Dark streaks nearly covered your whole forearm. But you found a patch of unmarked skin.

c̵̼͈̪̺̰̦͚̆͌̓̓͊͜u̸̲͉̲̱̐͋̉͑̈͐̄̏̋̎t̵͙̤̬̼̿͊̋̉̈́́̒̈̋͠ͅ ̴̡͎͙̳̬̼̻̭͙͔́̾̓̄̍̏͛̑̿̕̕i̴̢͓͉̯͓̞͓̐̈́͒̀͂̑̈́͜͠t̸̡̢̛̫̳̳͔̝̗̱͇̍̿̅̀̕ͅ ̷͍̥̼͍̬̏̊̀͛ả̵̰͎͉͓͇͛̂̀̈́l̵̢̥̖͉͔̲̫̩̀̈̀̒͛l̴̢̮͔͔̼̥̰̰̍̈̏̀̈́͆͑́͛̚͝ͅ ̵̞̥̜̼͙̠̖̜̆͐̏́̕o̶͖̗̱͐u̷̧̼̝̠͖̲̭͔̦͚̗͒̆̽̆̈́̌́͐̚͠t̷͇͕̙̣̺̺͕̺͉͖͉̔̐̚

You didn't think about it what you did. Like the actions were completely natural. And like before, you didn't stop. Not until crimson pooled on the floor and you ran out of space.

But even then.. even when your skin was crying, you didn't feel anything but a sharp sting and nothing more.

You weren't stupid, you knew you'd die if you didn't take care of your arm. So you bound your arm and finally, no more red. It stopped and you let out an exhale of relief. You were tired. From the running, the screaming, the crying, the bleeding. You collapsed onto the stone, cold floor, bringing your knees to your chest in a fetal position.

You pictured Thorin walking through the large chamber doors, looking heroic and strong as ever. He'd find you on the floor in a puddle of your own blood and tears. "Oh, amralime," he'd say and pick you up, taking you to bed with him. He'd hold you and never leave. Tell you it's going to be all right. Tell you you're beautiful, even with the dark bags under your puffy eyes and your red, tear stained face.

But he wasn't here to do that. The doors remained unmoving. The room was still and quiet, save for the shaky cries leaving your mouth.

You waited.. seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours. Thorin didn't return for a while.

The loneliness was suffocating. You thought you would die if you had to go another second without him. When you needed him the most.

But finally, exhaustion took over and you drifted off to sleep. No thoughts, no worried, head empty. For once, you were at peace.

"Y/N! Can you hear me?!"

He was crying.

Your eyes shot open at the shout of your name. You sat up quickly, almost jumping into Thorin's arms while he kneeled by your side. But you were weak and Thorin..

Oh.

"Y/N.. Why is there blood?"

You only stared, at a loss for words. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You fucked up.

"Why is your blood on the floor?" He pleaded, voice cracking. "Please, talk to me, amralime."

For a moment, you were numb. Shocked at how fast everything happened. But it hit you. Suddenly you were very aware.

Thorin had walked in. He found you on the ground, unconcious, a small puddle of rust smelling blood underneath you, and your light robes soaked in crimson. There was a knife beside you as well. That's just something nobody should ever see. And Thorin saw it. He saw his significant other, and presumed them dead.

The realization was overwhelming and you felt awful. But still, you hadn't said anything. What was there to say? "I'm sorry"? "It's not what it looks like"? "Relax"?

"Y/N, please, say something. Why?"

You opened your mouth and no words came out. Instead, your chin began to wobble and you broke.

You clung onto Thorin like you'd die if you let go, burying your face in his chest, sorries and I'mso f fucking sorry ohgods ple ase don't h hate me s falling from your mouth over and over.

Thorin shushed you, embracing you tightly and making soothing motions up and down your back.

Your cries subsided and the room felt peaceful for once, despite the previous events. Thorin hummed one of his lullabies as he scooped you up and sat you down on the bed. He went to grab another one of your robes, but you wouldn't let him.

"Thorin. I want you to stay. Please."

"I'm not leaving you, my love," he spoke gently, caressing your face in his hand. He swiped his thumb across your cheek, drying the silent tears that couldn't seem to stop.

Still, you shook your head and held onto Thorin's arm until he relented and climbed into bed with you instead. You both stripped down to your undergarments, your soiled and bloodied clothes forgotten on the floor.

You huddled close to Thorin, your legs intertwined with his and your head resting underneath his chin. He enveloped you in his arms securely, unwilling to let you go ever again.

"You scared me.." He muttered tiredly. "I can't lose you, too, Y/N. Don't let me lose you, too. We've seen so much death. Lost so many people. I don't know if I could do this without you." His voice trembled, and you knew he was crying.

"Thorin," you started, but realized you didn't know what to say. Just.. "Don't cry. I'll be here when you wake up. You won't lose me. I'm right here." You pressed your head against his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat that gradually began to slow.

"I can't do this without you, too," you whispered.

Thorin pressed a kiss on your forehead.

"Rest, Y/N. We're okay."

"I love you, Thorin."

"I love you, amralime."

For once, change wasn't so scary. Because it was going to get better.

#the hobbit #thorin oakenshield #thorin fanfiction #thorin x reader #thorin x you #the hobbit thorin #the hobbit fanfiction #the hobbit fluff #the hobbit angst #thorin angst #thorin fluff #tw: depression #tw: anxious thoughts #tw: anxiety #tw: sui ideation #tw: sh #thorin fic #thorin headcanons #rattyoakenbitch #thorin oakenshield x reader #thorin oneshot #thorin oakenshield x you

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝❞ ─ 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

i don't want your sympathy, i guess ive had it rough but you don't really care

❥ content ; gn reader, eventual fluff, angst, pining, happy ending

❥ warnings ; injury, swearing, mentions of death

❥ synopsis ; when you get badly injured during a mission, only then does levi realize the depths of his feelings for you. now the question is, is it too late?

❥ a/n ; i don't have a taglist yet so feel free to ask to get added!

You glided through the trees alongside your team, adrenaline running through your veins.

Kicking yourself off a tree, you landed your body with ease onto a lone Titan spotted in the forest below you. With a swift swing of the blade, the Titan was on the ground.

Finished, you zipped yourself back into the air, joining your team member's formation as you all flew together.

"Y/N!" Captain Levi shouted, resent dripping off of his words. Here we go again. "Do not deviate from original course! We are here to scout, not to thrill seek."

The team came to a slow. They stood on the branches, overlooking the land beneath them.

"I was not thrill seeking, sir, I was doing my job," you defended, turning to Captain Levi. Though he was shorter than you were, his cold stare and unwavering demeanor intimidated you.

"Your job is to follow my orders, brat, not go off wandering like an idiot!"

"I didn't wander, I was quick to regroup! You're just finding a reason to take your anger out on me," you retorted. "Then again, I wouldn't be surprised. Considering your height, it's no wonder you can barely contain your anger in such a small body."

As much as he wanted to push you off the tree, Levi kept his poise.

By now the team could hear you and Levi's bickering, but considering they were used to it, they decided to butt out and focus on planning the route.

"Stable duty when we get back."

And then he walked away, leaving you fuming.

As you continued with the scouting mission, you encountered too many Titans that you couldn't just brush them off. Angry and left with no choice, Levi shouted orders to forget the original plan and fight back.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted two Titans approaching Jean and Armin with intent. You narrowed your eyes. This was your chance. You bolted off the tree, flying fast towards the two Titans. You got your gear out, ready to slice their napes, when one of the Titans looked your way, a sick smile on its face.

"Y/N!" Armin called out in a panic as the Titan extended its arm, swiping at you like a fly. Before its hand could collide with you, you were pushed out of the way by none other than Levi.

He wrapped his arms around you securely, one underneath your bottom and his other around your back. You heard him whisper a profanity, his hot breath fanning your neck as he spoke. Though it wasn't the time or the place, you couldn't help but let your mind wander.

You were brought back to reality when Levi glided deeper into the forest, setting you down onto the ground harsher than necessary.

Totally caught off guard, your back was shoved against a tree. Levi was quick to block your exits, predicting you would try to resist.

His arms caged you between him and the tree, leaving little to no distance between your bodies. You could feel your face get hot, either out of embarrassment or his body heat mixing with yours.

"What the hell is wrong with you, brat?!" Yelled Levi, eyes wild with rage. However, something felt different about this compared to when he scolded you for separating from the group. But you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"Me?" You scoffed. "You're the crazy psycho who stole me away and cornered me in this forest!" You pushed at his chest, successfully shoving him off of you. "I had everything under control."

"You were almost killed! I can't have reckless people on my team. I'm a captain, not a babysitter, so get your shit together or get the hell off my team."

You stood against the tree quietly, Levi's venomous words stunning you into silence. Levi continued to stare deep into your eyes, his expression never changing. However, as the seconds passed, you saw a sliver of regret in his eyes, lasting only for a mere second.

You took a deep breath, trying to choose your words carefully. "I- Just.. Why do you hate me so much?"

Levi raised a brow while you continued to speak.

"I know I'm not the best fighter. Not compared to Misaka or Eren. But what did I do to deserve so much hatred from you? Even when I'm not doing anything wrong, you look at me like I'm the most disgusting person you've seen."

Despite feeling a sting of guilt at your words, Levi put on a dismissive act. "Tch, you're being dramatic. I'm not about to discuss this with you."

Why the fuck did he say that?

"Maybe if you listened to me for two damn seconds you wouldn't get such an earful."

Why is he being such an asshole? Gods, just tell them already. Stop this bullshit.

No longer finding it in you to care, you began to raise your voice, angry tears spilling down your face. "I try my best to make you like me. I try to show you that I'm capable and strong, but you still treat me as if I'm inferior. Like my skills are nothing. Like I'm nothing."

Emotionless, Levi replied, "Because you are. Look at you. You're a crybaby. You should've stayed back." Lies. All lies.

"Ugh- well maybe you should've just let me get killed since you despise me so much!"

With that, you grab your gear and zip away as far from Levi as possible, tears blowing out of your face and into the wind.

"Hey, where are you going?!"

You ignored him as you continued to speed through the trees, searching for your team. Your friends. Anybody.

"Y/N! Look out!"

You heard Eren shout, making you spin around frantically to search for the danger.

There it was.

An Abnormal ran your way, crawling like a dog on its hands and feet.

It had been chasing the team for a while now, evident in its animalistic, hungry look.

Steadily hanging off a branch, you watch the Titan from afar, then look back at the team.

"I'll distract it! You guys go!"

They looked at you as if you had grown two extra heads.

"You'll die!" Mikasa argued. "We can take it!"

"Just go!"

The Titan started to get closer. The team looked behind you, then back at you. Though they looked ready and determined to take it down, you knew they felt as terrified as you were. Fighting Titans was just something you don't think you'll ever get used to.

"Please be careful. We're gonna find Captain Levi!"

You nodded, then turned around, watching as the Titan ran towards you, totally disregarding the rest of the team.

"You want me? Come get me."

When you decided it was close enough, you darted into the forest and soared through the trees, only narrowly missing them. The Abnormal followed you, but hit itself on the trees and destroyed many in the process.

While the Abnormal continued to run through the forest, leaves and trees blocking its direct vision of you, you took a chance and turned back, flying past the Abnormal.

You did a quick u-turn and hopped onto its back.

You got it now.

As it chased after nothing, completely unaware, you slashed the nape of its neck.

With you still on its back, the Titan went limp mid-jump, falling onto the ground hard enough to create an earthquake. Unprepared for the collision, you went flying off its body.

Instead of bracing yourself for the fall, you frantically reached for your gear in an attempt to glide back up to the trees.

Before you got the chance, your body met with the ground, a loud thud echoing from the impact.

In the distance, the rest of the team continued to fight until they got to the very last Titan. Levi, though he was the last to regroup, helped effectively take down the Titans.

It wasn't evident in his stoic expression, but he searched among his surroundings and the faces of his team for you, afraid the worst had happened. Dammit, why did he have to be such an asshole? What Levi said to you, he meant none of it. But he feared he wouldn't get the chance to tell you that. Idiot.

"Is everybody here?!" Levi shouted as his team gathered around him.

"Yeah, we're alive-"

"Wait, where's Y/N?"

The team began to search among themselves, now becoming anxious as well.

"Well, where are they? Did you not see them at all?" Levi asked in a calm tone, despite his heart beat pounding in his ears. No. He wasn't going to slip up. Not here, not now. He needed to remain strong.

Mikasa spoke up. "We last saw them when we were being chased by an Abnormal! They offered to distract it and take care of it themselves."

Levi shouted, a crack in his voice, "And you let them?!"

"Y/N is strong! One of the best fighters we have here," Eld said. "They've probably already taken it down by now."

"Then where are they?!" Levi growled, becoming more frustrated by the second.

"Hey, look!" Armin yelled, shaking his finger towards the steam in the distance. "Eld was right! Y/N did kill it after all!"

Wasting no more time, Levi commanded the team to follow him. Soon again, they were up in the trees, running your direction. They stopped as soon as they came across a clearing in the forest where the Abnormal laid lifelessly.

"Everyone! Find Y/N!"

The team split, searching the area for any sign of you.

Levi dreaded the thought of finding you like they found the Titan. No. You killed it. You had to be alive.

Levi repeated that in his head. You had to be alive.

Because if you weren't, he wouldn't know what he would do.

Your eyes shot open at the sound of panicked screams echoing around you. You pushed yourself off of the ground in a rush, only to stumble back with an agonizing scream, pain shooting up the lower half of your body.

"Fucking hell! Oh shit," you fell back on the grass defeatedly, hot tears welling in your eyes at the intense pain and aches across your whole body. "Dammit!"

You didn't know which bones were broken, where you were, if you were bleeding out. So you just laid there alone, helpless and numb. Waiting.

Just when the team was beginning to lose hope, a blood curdling scream echoed throughout the forest, easily catching the team's attention. They headed towards the source of the sound, but Levi was the first on it, already sprinting through the forest to find you.

When he did, he felt his heart drop down to his stomach. You laid in a small clearing behind some old trees and bushes, a puddle of blood beneath your body. Your uniform was torn and your 3DMG was rendered useless at this point. If not for the scream, or the fast rise and fall of your chest, he would've mistaken you for being dead.

Levi rushed to your side and got onto his knees, lifting up your body into his arms.

"Y/N? Can you hear me? Y/N?"

You coughed, wheezing and struggling to make a coherent sound. Blood dripped down the corner of your mouth as you spoke, "You were right, Captain. I never stood a chance, did I?Shoulda just stayed." You laughed pitifully.

Now Levi was angry, but not at you. "Shut up! Don't say stupid shit like that! You're going to be okay."

The team found you, stopping short at the sight of Levi holding you carefully, like a porcelain doll, ready to break.

He didn't care anymore. He didn't bother to put up a front. Not when you were like this, half dead in his arms. He pressed his forehead to yours, whispering in your ear so only you could hear.

"I can't lose you too.."

Everyone else only continued to watch the intimate scene unfold before them.

When you fell unconcious, Levi squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best to keep his composure. Why was he acting like this? Usually he would be quick to solve problems without letting his feelings get in the way. Why was he so helpless now?

He turned around, scowling at the group who just stood by idly.

"Get over here and help them, you fools!"

You hated it. You hated having to be looked after or saved like a princess in a children's storybook. You didn't want to run away anymore, or simply stand in waiting, hoping for someone to rescue you. You were done being hunted. So you joined the Scouts after years of hard work and training. If you had only thought more carefully or put your parent's advice in consideration, you wouldn't be in your current situation, regretting ever joining Levi's team. You wouldn't have ended up in the infirmary.

You passed out in Levi's arms after suffering from injuries during your fight with the Abnormal Titan, according to your friends. They came by to visit you when the medic alerted them that you had woken up from your coma.

"How long was I out for?" You winced as you massaged your still pounding head. "When did I even get here?"

"You've been unconcious for two days. We retreated to the city as Captain Levi instructed and you've been under their care since," Eren answered. He noticed your demeanor as you looked around the room and picked at your skin, a nervous habit you recently formed. "Everybody's alive, so don't you worry."

"Where are they?"

"Well, they did have to receive medical attention since they got hurt, but they're okay! They miss you, ya know?" Armin said excitedly. "We'll make sure to fill you in on everything when you're out of here."

You pursed your lips. "Speaking of which, when will I be discharged?"

"You can't exactly walk right now, but.. you should be up and ready to go within a week! Then we can go on another mission and-"

"Eren. Armin. Mikasa." Your attention was torn away from Eren, your eyes darting towards the source of the voice.

"Captain Levi!" They all exclaimed in unison.

"I would like to speak with Y/N in private." He glanced at trio, his eyes narrowing. "Out."

The three walked out, heads bowed like sad little puppies. You waved at them as they went before turning to Levi who now stood by your bed.

"What do you want?" You asked bitterly, nose scrunching up in a sneer.

"Commander Erwin informed me of your decision," he spoke softly, differing from his usual cold tone.

You huffed. "Yeah, took your advice and resigned. You won't have to worry about babysitting me anymore."

A pang of guilt shot through Levi's heart, causing him to flinch. He hoped you didn't catch that.

He remembered his own regretful words as it replayed in his head. Just like your cries and pained expression, which he was unable to simply brush off, he couldn't forget how he mistreated you. And he would never forgive himself, either. The sight of your injured body laying there, all alone. He couldn't shake the scene off his mind, no matter how hard he tried. Even in his dreams.

Evident in his eyebags that seemed to have darkened in shade, he wasn't able to get much sleep the past couple days because of it.

"I take it you hate me, then," Levi suggested, prompting you to laugh mockingly.

"Oh, no, I could never," you said, sarcasm dripping off your voice as you fake fawned over Levi. "Levi Ackerman, Humanity's Strongest.. I just adore you."

Levi hid his offended expression and ignored your antics as he continued. "I was afraid I couldn't get the chance to apologize to you. When I found you there, I.." He squeezed his eyes shut and furrowed his brows together, forcing his tears not to fall. Why now?

"Yeah, well, you fucked up. About time you feel a little heartache," you mumbled, looking around the room, anywhere but Levi.

"A little?! Look, I'm trying to apologize here!" He shouted. "Do you have no idea how fucking terrified I've been for you, you brat?!"

"No, Captain Levi, so why don't you enlighten me on how much you care?!" You huffed, crossing your arms. "Because if you did, then maybe I wouldn't be bed ridden!"

Levi's face softened at the sight of a single tear escaping your eye. He took a seat on the bed beside you and reached out to brush away your tear.

With your quick reflexes, you caught his hand and pushed it back towards him.

"Don't you dare touch me. You've done enough damage, Levi. Just go and stop wasting my time."

Just like you, he was stubborn. He stood his ground.

"I-I'm sorry."

You let out an exasperated sigh. "You must think I'm stupid. No way I'm buying that bullshit."

"You need to stop pushing me away, Y/N!"

"What is that, an order?" You taunted. "You don't get to be sorry, Levi. It's too late for that. You waited for me to almost die just to tell me that? Is that what it takes? What if I hadn't survived? What then?"

"You don't think I haven't thought about that?! That's why I'm here!"

"Yeah, and who's fault is that?"

"You should've listened to me! I was trying to protect you!"

"Well thanks a lot. Now both my kneecaps are broken and I won't be able to walk for weeks!" You shake your head. "You think just because we shared a moment while I was dying that I'm okay now? Trust me, if I had the strength, I would have slapped you then and there."

"Then why don't you now?"

"At this point, you're not even worth getting angry over. So stop giving me that pitiful look. I really prefer you shouting at me instead. At least I'm used to it." You mumble the last part, but Levi catches it easily.

"That's it then, you leave me no choice." You look at Levi curiously. "You infuriate me, brat, you really do. You're so careless and oblivious all the time, you forget to look after yourself. And I'm not ready to watch you throw away your life so irrationally from the sidelines."

"So what are you trying to tell me, Levi?"

"Tch, you're just gonna make me say it, aren't you?" He takes a deep breath. "I'm not good at this, and I hate to admit it, to you of all people. It makes me mad to see you risk your life because I care about you.. and I can't lose you. I've dealt with too much death. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you alive, even if it means dying.." Levi trails off, then scoffs and crosses his arms like a petty little child. "I said it, all right? I like you-- A lot, you stupid brat!"

You searched Levi's eyes for any trace of dishonesty. You hoped he was lying, like he had some sort of script prepared before he came to see you. But you found no lies in his eyes.

You felt your heart break. All this time when you thought Levi just really hated you, he was looking out for you.

"I.. Why didn't you just tell me?" Your voice fell apart as you spoke. "I tried so hard to make you like me back.. And it hurt because I thought you just hated my guts. I had no idea."

"I know, I was being stupid too- It shouldn't have come to this," Levi admitted. "I.. I'll let you rest now."

Levi stood up to leave, but you were quick to pull him back onto the bed with you. Without letting him react, you grabbed his face and interlocked your lips with his. All the tension in his body disappeared and he melted into the kiss, throwing his arms around you tightly like he'd lose you if he ever let go. It wasn't a soft, romantic, movie perfect kiss. It was desperate, tongue and teeth, hands wandering, disheveling the other's hair. You released all of your built up anger and resent, letting it fuel you while you aggresively fought your tongue with his, a faint taste a hint of alcohol now on your own mouth. Occasionally you'd both break the kiss for short intakes of breath and small whispers like 'don't scare me like that again' and 'I've needed this for a while now'. You couldn't help but moan, earning a grin from Levi as he continued to hungrily devour your lips. Just as things escalated, you remembered you were still in the infirmary, and anyone could walk in any minute now. You slowly pulled away, your chest heaving as you panted for breath.

Levi couldn't help but twist his lips up into a little smirk. That was new.

"Well at least you're not a bad first kisser," he spoke nonchalantly, still gasping for air. You playfully punched him in the chest.

"Quite the romantic, aren't you?" You rolled your eyes but couldn't stop yourself from smiling like an idiot. "You're not bad either, old man."

Blush spread across his cheeks.

He took your hand in his, bringing it to his swollen and raw lips and placed a small kiss on your knuckles.

"Promise me you won't leave me again?"

"Promise," you sighed blissfully. "And I guess I'll have to tell Commander Erwin about my change of plans."

"Actually," a deep voice spoke. At the door, there stood none other than Commander Erwin. "I think I already know."

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman angst #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x gn reader #levi ackerman oneshot #levi ackerman imagine #tsundere prompts #beabadoobee #lyric prompts #angsty #aot #levi aot #no spoilers #snk fanfiction #snk levi #attack on titan #rattyoakenbitch

[rattyoakenbitch]

youtubers: “don’t touch her” ₊˚ ⸝  corpse husband x reader

❝i don't wanna think about, think about you. drink up, drink up i'm so fucked up, all i want is you.❞

gif credit: n/a song: lykke li - sex money feelings die

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

pairings: corpse husband x reader

warnings: angst, cursing, drinking, smoking, violent language, and minor mentions of anxiety.

summary: i can’t make summaries rn hhh just read it (:

“Sean, there is no way in hell I’m going!”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. It’ll be fun!”

“That’s what you always say!”

“Ugh, you and Corpse are so stubborn. At least I was able to convince him to show up! You know what you need? To get out of the house more often and come hang with us.”

“Uh huh, yeah, y’all have fun, I got some stuff to finish.”

“Yeah? Like what? Your ten hour nap?”

“HEY! Excuse me -”

“7PM, [club address], you’re showing up.”

“Sean - !”

With that, Sean hung up. You let out an exasperated huff, crossing your arms and pouting like a toddler who was just denied a toy. You were invited, or more accurrately forced to celebrate whatever the hell Sean and his friends achieved. With lives like theirs, it seemed like there was always something to celebrate. 

You, on the other hand.. Well, you were just little old you. You met Sean by mere chance. It’s a very long story, but you shared some things in common, like your love for video games. However, that was about the only thing you could relate to with Sean and his little friend circle. You were more passionate about writing, as well as reading short horror stories. 

Now, that’s where you clicked with Corpse Husband. 

He was an underrated YouTuber, whose main uploads were narration videos on creepypastas and horror stories. That’s until he blew up with his Among Us gameplays, collaborating with big names like PewDiePie, Jacksepticeye, and CrankGamePlays (EEF!!!).

You met over an Among Us stream with said YouTubers and immediately hit it off. You shared a dark sense of humor, love for horror, and music. You knew of Corpse before, but only then did you discover that he produced music, which you absolutely enjoyed (and blasted in your house for days on end).

When you found out you lived not even twenty minutes away from each other, you’d occasionally meet up, mostly at his house considering he only went out once in a blue moon. You’d sometimes even spend the night at his place, staying up late, gazing up at the stars, getting deep into conversation and opening up about things you never blurted out to people. But when you were with Corpse, everything just came naturally. You felt safe with him, and hopefully, he felt the same. 

Night approached, the clock striking 5PM. You figured you’d get ready since Sean was dead set on you coming to the party. You showered, did a minimalist glossy makeup look, and chose an outfit, which consisted of a half neon green and black skirt that stopped mid thigh, and an oversized distressed band tee which you tucked into your belt. You slipped on a pair of ripped, striped thigh-highs with mismatched colors, (white stripes on one and neon blue on the other), and your platform boots that made you look like a Bratz Doll. You didn’t bother with your tangled hair. You teased it with a brush but didn’t put any effort into styling it, since it’d get messy anyways. To finish your look, you clipped on a choker and dangled a couple of layered chains around your neck.

Corpse would tease you, saying you had a “dog collar”, but you knew he secretly liked it.

All dolled up and ready to go, you hopped into your car and followed the GPS to the address Sean sent you. Drunk couples stumbled out of the club, dates headed inside, and old wasted guys were thrown out. Oh boy, you were not ready for this.

You were the anxious, anti social type. Not because it was edgy or cool, but you simply didn’t know how to handle social situations. However, it comforted you to know Corpse would be there by your side so you didn’t need to chat and flirt with strangers. 

It’s not like you wanted to meet anybody new, anyways. Though nobody was aware of it, you had feelings for Corpse. Cliche, right? You knew you shouldn’t have, but you developed feelings for him. It made you feel strange and weird, considering you haven’t caught feelings in a while.

You came up with the bright idea of slowly drifting away from Corpse to maybe help de-escalate these feelings, but you were going to run into him at the club, so what the heck.

You headed inside, your eyes scanning the crowd and pushing through, searching for your friend group. You spent a couple minutes cluelessly looking around the club, but to no avail. Then, it was as if a light bulb clicked on over your head; you never thought to phone Sean.

“Ugh, I’m so stupid.” You reached into your purse to get ahold of your phone when a pair of strong, manly hands and cold metal which you assumed to be rings wrapped around your shoulders, gripping you tightly. 

“Boo!” 

You felt your heart stop and ran out of the man’s grasp, spinning around to look at who it was.

“Oh, did I scare you?” 

The man’s deep, monotone voice rumbled above the sound of the music and shouts. Then you recognized that unique and distinctive voice. 

“Corpse!! What the hell?”

His nose and jaw was covered by a black mask, with a print that looked like Frank from Donnie Darko, which was also Corpse’s signature look, seen in his channel art. 

Despite Corpse being a faceless YouTuber, only very few people have seen his face, including you and Glam&Gore who he featured in his narration videos. You thought he was very handsome, his baritone voice matching his appearance. You had to admit, you were a little disappointed he chose to wear a mask. You loved seeing his facial expressions, especially his precious smile that would light up the room when he’d let out little fits of laughter. But you got over it and respected the fact that he wanted to remain anonymous.

“You dickhead,” you scoffed, smacking Corpse lightly on the shoulder. Corpse towered over you, looking admittedly both intimidating and seductive. If you were a stranger, you’d probably be running off, but you weren’t scared of Corpse. He was a big softie and a teddy bear.

Corpse chuckled lowly, slinging his arm over your shoulder and leading you to Sean’s group. He was protective like that, even if you were just friends. Now you could see why Sean, at one point, speculated that you and Corpse had a thing going on. 

“So, Sean forced you to tag along, too?”

“Pfft, yeah, that’s Sean for you.”

“Hey, there’s my favorite couple,” Sean joked, patting your shoulder. You rolled your eyes at his drunk antics.

“Shut up, don’t make me choke you like I hate you,” you mocked in return, eliciting a fit of laughter from the group. 

“Remind me to never hang out with you losers again,” Corpse mumbled sarcastically under his breath.

The night went by in a flash. Sean, Thomas, Felix, and everyone else was blackout drunk. Luckily, Mark was there to assist them. Since Mark couldn’t drink, he would be the designated driver that night. Corpse hung out by himself, sometimes getting approached by women who he politely turned down.

You, on the other hand, were downing alcohol like your life depended on it. For you, it would take more than the average number of drinks for you to get wasted.

“Y/N, don’t you think you should slow down?” Corpse questioned cautiously, resting a hand on the small of your back.

“Does it really look like I’m thinking right now?” you drunkenly slurred, following with a giggle. You waved to the bartender, calling for another shot, which he slid over to you, but not without hesitating after noticing your state. You pushed Corpse off of you, probably more harshly than you intended, and took the shot. 

“Okay, Y/N, fuck this, I’m taking you to my place. We can’t stay here and you certainly can’t drive back home when you’re drunk,” Corpse scowled, stepping closer to you. Again, you shoved him back.

“No.. No..” You sighed, holding your pounding head in your hand. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what? Y/N, you’re drunk -”

“I’m not letting you of all people take me.”

Corpse blinked. “What does that mean?” He knew you were drunk, of course, and you were probably just blurting nonsense.

All of a sudden, tears escaped your eyes, racing down your blushy cheeks.

“No.. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.” You began to shake and tremble as tears started to uncontrollably spill down your face. Corpse didn’t waste another second to take you in his arms, hushing you. “Your hugs are so warm.. I hate it. I hate feeling this way. It’s all my fault.”

“What did you do, sweetheart? You can tell me.”

Your heart ached when you heard his pet name for you.

“I think I may like you more than you like me.. I-I didn’t mean to! Please don’t leave me. You’re all I have,” you sobbed into his white tee, clinging onto him. “I love you so fucking much, it hurts. I shouldn’t have!”

Corpse stopped for a moment, processing your words.

You.. felt the same?

Corpse had to tell you. You were drunk, but he needed you to know. 

“Y/N, I -”

Suddenly, you had a moment of clarity. Realizing how close you were to Corpse, you backed away, wiping away the mascara tears under your eyes.

“I - I think I had too much to drink.. I just need a smoke..” 

Without giving Corpse the chance to protest, you ran off into the crowd, struggling your way through. 

Corpse began to get worried when you didn’t come back. He waited impatiently on the barstool where you left him, anxiously playing with his rings.

He was just about to get up and look for you, when he caught a glimpse of you stumbling out the exit with another man who guided you, gripping your arm tightly.

Corpse fumed, his face going red and heartbeat speeding up. He went after you, knowing damn well you didn’t know this man. 

The man took you to his car, placing you atop the trunk, your legs dangling over the edge. He stepped in between your legs, caressing your face. Everything was a blur. If your mind was clear, you wouldn’t be stupid enough to trust this random guy, who was probably ten years older than you. 

“You’re too pretty to be crying,” he whispered, leaning in closer to your face, until a yell stopped him from proceeding any further.

“Hey, asshole, she’s drunk! Don’t you fucking touch her!”

“C-Corpse?” You hiccuped, hopping off the trunk to get a look at the approaching figure. It was indeed Corpse. His eyebrows were pressed together angrily at the sight.

“You know this dude?” the man said loudly and smugly, just to get a reaction from Corpse. “Relax, my man, I’m just tryna take this pretty girl home.”

“Well this pretty girl happens to be mine, and I won’t let you take advantage of her,” Corpse growled. 

You stood by the stranger, clinging to him as you watched Corpse’s face twist into an expression of heartbreak when you didn’t budge. He then noticed the bruises around your arms and wrist, supposedly from the man’s strong grip. He was unbelievably furious. 

“Ha, doesn’t look like she’s your girl anymore.” The man’s lips twisted upwards into a devilish smirk, only pissing Corpse off some more. Oh boy, was he ready to snap. He reached into his pocket, when..

“Wait,” you managed to slur out, breaking up the argument. You reached out towards Corpse like a child. His facial expression immediately softened. He gave you a loving smile and immediately took you into his arms, holding you protectively. 

“Now, I suggest you get in your car and never come back,” Corpse threatened.

“Oh, yeah? Or what? I’ll kill you and take your girl, you motherfucker!”

Without hesitation, Corpse took out his switchblade, looking the man in his eyes.

“Say that again?”

You watched as the stranger’s whole tough act fell apart. Without another word, he ran to the driver’s side of his car, fumbling with his keys. 

“Yeah, that’s right,” Corpse mumbled, not taking his eyes off the man until he reached his own car. You held his hand the whole way, processing what had just happened. Corpse noticed your distant expression. You got into his car, shutting the door and slumping back into your seat. He tore off his mask, taking in deep breaths to calm himself. Then he looked back to you. 

“Princess?”

You looked to Corpse, your eyes teary. “Hey, Corpse.” You didn’t seem to be as drunk, your mind a lot clearer after the incident. “D-Did you mean anything you said back there? About the..”

“About you being my girl?” 

Corpse took your hand in his, squeezing it comfortingly. He leaned forward and cupped your face with his free hand. “Absolutely.” 

With that, you leaned towards him, hesitantly pressing your lips to his. Your lips tasted of alcohol, but Corpse didn’t care. He was admittedly taken back, his breath hitching, but he released the tension from his body and kissed you back, pulling you over to the driver’s seat atop him. There wasn’t much space, forcing you to press closer to Corpse, deepening the kiss. 

Still being a bit drunk, you were clumsy and kind of ‘out of it’. 

“I’d hold onto something if I were you,” Corpse mumbled, breaking the kiss momentarily to guide your hands to grip his shoulders. But you were impatient and reconnected your lips with his, no doubt causing him to blush even more than he already was.

You couldn’t help yourself and giggled into the kiss, causing Corpse to chuckle along with you, departing from the kiss again and resting his forehead against yours.

“I’m sorry, you’re just so fucking adorable when you giggle.” 

You hummed in response, offering Corpse an innocent grin as you pecked all over his face. 

“I’m so glad you’re mine.”

#corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse x y/n #corpse x you #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x female reader #corpse x female reader #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband fluff #corpse husband oneshot #jacksepticeye #markiplier #crankgameplays #sykkuno #youtube #youtubers #among us #rattyoakenbitch #pewdiepie #aesthetic gif #lykke li #tw: drunk #tw: drinking #tw: alcohol #tw: smoking #tw: violence #tw: anxious thoughts #tw: anxiety

[rattyoakenbitch]

death note: “mother hen” ₊˚ ⸝  l lawliet x reader

❝love everything you do

when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit i do❞

gif credit: n/a

song: melanie martinez - training wheels

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

pairings: l lawliet x reader

warnings: angst, language, slight (but legal) age gap (youre eighteen whilst l is twenty-four), slight injury, attempted sa

summary: you get yourself in trouble and lawliet doesnt take it so well.

You were escorted into the large meeting room where the taskforce was gathered. L was in the center of the room, perched over his desk while watching security footage of Raye Penber, the FBI agent who had apparently been killed by Kira.

Soon as you walked in, all eyes were on you. The taskforce scanned your soaked self from head to toe. Your baggy skater girl jeans were dirty and torn, exposing your scraped up knees.

Your oversized white tee (which wasn't really yours, you borrowed it from L) was soaked with rain water, becoming translucent. Just like your pants, your top was soiled and torn, but more evident due to the lighter color. The hem of the shirt was loose, as if it had been pulled and stretched. White threads hung off the ripped collar that had stretched all the way over your bare shoulder. Your hair was disheveled and drenched, emitting the smell of a wet dog.

The state of your face wasn't any better, if not worse. Thick, red liquid dripped from both of your nostrils. Your undereyes were black and purple, almost similar to L's, the only difference being you weren't lacking sleep. Lips, cheekbones, chin, forehead, nose, all badly bruised and cut up. But your wounds weren't terrible. A first aid kit would do the trick. Watari was quick to grab you some towels, hanging them over your shivering and wet form. Water dripped and trailed wherever you walked but that wasn't even the least of their concerns.

"Sheesh.. Bad day, huh?" Matsuda spoke mindlessly, earning a few angry glares. "Sorry! I-I mean, what the hell happened to you?"

"Y/N! Are you all right?" Chief Yagami questioned, keeping his jaw from dropping to the floor.

"I'm.."

L was quick to hop off his chair and rush over to you, a heavily concerned and wary look on his tired face.

"Y/N, L, come with me," Watari said, taking your arm and leading you to the bathroom. Of course, being the caring boyfriend that L was, he asked nonstop questions along the way.

You tried to give a clear answer, but that wasn't enough to satisfy L. He forgot everything he was doing prior, his priority now being there for you.

You sat down on the bathroom counter while Watari fetched the first aid. L had now calm down, shutting up with the questions, realizing it wasn't doing you any good as you seemed to be weak and still in shock. L stayed close by your side, your injured hand clasped in his. He looked up at you worriedly and lovingly with those tired puppy eyes of his.

"Watari, I'll take care of her wounds. Please, just get some clean clothes for Y/N," L stated, his eyes never leaving yours. Watari silently agreed and left you two alone.

L carefully tended to your wounds, trying not to cause any more pain than you were already induring.

L asked as calmly as he could, "Y/N.. I need to know. What happened to you?"

You sucked in a breath, looking down at the ground, wearing a shameful look on your face.

"I got into a fight with some guys from campus. They teased me, followed me around. One of them was very persistent in asking me out but I told him I was already with someone." L gave you a look, partly of pride that you didn't give in to the boy. "Well I guess that sent him over the edge because him and his buddies jumped me after classes. They took my raincoat, my textbooks, beat me up and left me in the rain. One of them came back and attemped to.."

L squeezed your hand, as a way of letting you know you didn't need to further explain.

"Watari came by to pick me up before he could, you know, 'n scared the guy off."

"Why would they follow you around?"

"Ah, that. I already got in a fight prior to that with one of the guy's ex-girlfriend. She thought we had a thing for each other so she tried to ambush me. I never told you because I didn't get injured, I managed to fight her off."

"You should've told me. You know I worry about you. Especially with Kira around. We're not even sure if he knows we're together. He could use you and-"

You stopped him. "You see why I didn't tell you? You worry too much. Especially with this case, you associate everything with Kira."

"I would rather be paranoid than ignorant. It could still be a possibility. You could get yourself killed."

You rolled your eyes, "Why would that be so bad?"

L was taken back by your words. Despite the situation, you still had a sense of sarcasm. L allowed himself to smile lightly at the comment.

"If I wasn't so busy with the case, you know I'd be by your side at all times, right?"

"I know, but-"

"So that's why I want you here with me at all times. I can't visit you while you're in campus but I can keep you here with me."

"L! Do you know what you're asking of me?" I worked my ass off to get into college, I can't just leave like that."

"Your studying would amount to nothing if you end up dead."

"Wow, that was blunt."

L took both of your hands in his. "For your safety. Please."

You smiled slyly, raising your brow. "Just for my safety?"

L sighed. "And I really miss you."

You giggled, kissing the tip of his nose, causing him to scrunch it up. "Okay, fine, you mother hen."

L blushed, rubbing the back of his head. "I am not-!" He thought for a moment. ".. Am I?"

#l x you #l x reader #lawliet x reader #lawliet x you #l lawliet #l death note #death note #death note oneshot #lawliet oneshot #death note imagines #lyric prompts #death note gif #death note fanfiction #lawliet fanfiction #rattyoakenbitch #kira death note #watari #yagami #soichiro yagami #matsuda death note

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞❞ ─ 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨

hey, it's not like you ever tried to stay . .

❥ content ; gn reader, angst, dark themes, yandere themes, toxic relationship

❥ warnings ; sxlf hxrm & mxtilation, swearing, verbal abuse, manipulation, slight nxdity lol

❥ synopsis ; all you wanted was his attention. and by the gods, you were going to get his attention by any means.

❥ a/n ; first mello fic (: i've been wanting to write something dark for a while and ig i finally got the opportunity lol. i thought i got out of my death note stage but i'm back, so please don't be afraid to send requests or ask to be added to my nonexistent taglist! alsoo while this oneshot does include s/h, i am in no way glorifying or romanticizing it!!! but i do tend to write angsty and dark fics. again, this is a work of fiction and i don't intend for anyone to take this too seriously and let this influence them.

The loud crash of a glass echoed throughout the room as a vase went flying through the air and collided with the wall, just a few feet from where you were standing.

You didn't flinch. Didn't scream. Didn't cry. Didn't react. You were used to Mello's fits of rage by now, months into your relationship. If you could even call it that, at this point.

You knew Mello wouldn't dare lay a finger on you; if he did, he'd cut off his own hands and have live with the guilt forever, knowing he brought you harm. Which is why you didn't react.

However, he didn't seem to have a problem when it was only verbal.

"I don't fucking get you!" Mello spat harshly and continued to rant, "Why did you think that was okay?! Did you once consider how I felt?! I was worried sick that some asshole hurt you but you come back a day later and tell me you were at some boy's house!"

You only scoff, leaning against the wall in a relaxed manner, eyeing the remaining shards of the vase carefully. Just like Mello, you were incredibly stubborn.

"Answer me, Y/N!"

"Okay, Mihael," you state cooly, using Mello's legal name and causing him to listen more intently. "First of all, I don't know what you expected me to do when you invited your weird mafia 'friends' over while I was trying to sleep. Second, he's not 'some boy', his name is Y/F/N and he's one of a few people I can trust. I don't know what you think of me."

"You could've gotten a hotel room, that's what!"

"With what money, Mihael?! What fucking money? You forced me to quit my job and then practically lock me up in this hell hole that I can't even call 'home' anymore!"

Mello huffed. "Pfft, you should be grateful. I've kept you safe all this time, away from the dangers of the world. You're alive because of me. Me. You're mine."

"Yeah, some fucking life, right?"

"I provide for you, I protect you from the monsters out in the world, but you still decide to go and whore yourself out to your little 'friend'," Mello sneered, his sharp voice dripping with venom.

You stared at your boyfriend in disbelief. All words, all arguments and nasty retorts expiring on your lips.

"I.." You start, but laugh pitifully. "I don't even know what you're saying. I don't know if you even know what you're saying. Honestly, Mello, just when I thought you couldn't surprise me anymore, you start spewing complete and utter bullshit out of your mouth." Mello's silence only egged you on. "It's no wonder Near always came in first place." Aaand there it was. You snapped.

If looks could kill, you'd be dead. Mello's eyes widened in anger at the mention of Near, reminding him of his inferiority.

In a completely different situation where he wasn't on the receiving end, Mello would be smiling proudly, listening to your clever retorts and comebacks. You've always been as stubborn and hot headed as him, and he really liked that about you, fuck that "opposites attract" bullshit. (I ACC LOVE THAT TROPE LOL IM SORRY) However, considering you were both extremely toxic people, it was far from entertaining when it was you who got in a fight with the other.

You didn't stop, though. If he was gonna play that who-could-be-more-toxic game, you weren't gonna back down.

"I don't know if it was the explosion or you've really always been that stupid, but you need to get the fuck over yourself and stop throwing tantrums when you find out that I have a life, too, and I have friends. Friends who actually give a damn."

You stare down each other in silence, a heavy tension hanging in the air. Still, after a few moments, Mello didn't make any effort to speak or react, other than walking out of the room.

Days, weeks went by. Mello hasn't spoken a word to you. Hasn't even looked in your direction when you passed each other or walked into the same room. You didn't exist anymore, and it worried you.

Mello was never like this. Within a few days or even hours after an argument, you would easily kiss and make up. Had you gone too far this time?

Besides the fact that Mello was intentionally giving you the cold shoulder, he was also busy with work, and was out of the house from midnight to early afternoon. During that time, you would stay at home and carry out your every day mundane tasks and chores.

Even now, you didn't seek comfort in your family or friends. You were either busy keeping the house clean, sleeping, or entertaining yourself on social media. But it was all a sad attempt to keep your mind occupied on anything else other than Mello.

And one day like any other where Mello was out doing whatever the hell mafia dudes do, you snapped. You decided you were sick of the silent treatment.

If Mello was gonna play dirty and ignore you, you were gonna give him something to react to.

Mello came home some time after sunset. Kicking off his boots as he walked in the front door, he immediately knew something was off. It was quiet - too quiet. Despite the fact that you were practically taking some sort of forced break after the argument, you acted the same. You went about your day and didn't bother acting shy or timid around Mello. You still hummed earworm pop songs to yourself or put on a podcast to fill the tense air. But now there was nothing. Just Mello, the walls, and the silence.

Mello cautiously walked around the house and searched for any signs of you, fearing the worst.

As he frantically looked around, he stopped abruptly at the sight of blood smeared onto the hallway wall.

Blood.

His heartbeat began to thump loudly in his ears.

Then he noticed more blood. And more, smeared up on the wall, and eventually a trail picked up. He followed the bloody trail as it lead him through the hallway and stopped outside of your shared bedroom that he hasn't been inside for weeks.

Mello shakily inhaled and braced himself for whatever gruesome scene he would walk into.

He reached for the doorknob, twisting it and letting himself in.

Soon as he did, he ceased all motions, his breath caught in his throat as he tried to process what his eyes were showing him.

There, you sat on the bed, nothing on but your underwear and one of Mello's shirts. On one hand, you loosely held a pocket knife. On the other, you had your sleeve rolled up, your inner arm facing Mello's direction.

Your doe eyes looked up from the floor and met Mello's panicked ones. He was finally looking at you again. Despite the gorey setting and the stinging in your arm, you smiled. You were real to him again.

Multiple cuts oozed blood and trickled down your arm, onto your now dirtied clothes and the once satin white sheets below you.

As Mello got closer, silently freaking out, he could now see that these weren't just cuts - you carved out words. Sentences, onto your arm.

Among the many bloody 'I love you's' and pleads, one word stuck out to him.

It was his name.

He felt sick. Distraught. Guilty. Afraid.

"Y/N," he choked out shakily.

His gaze trailed up your arm, your body, and fixated onto your seemingly innocent face. Your face was rested and gentle, your eyes still staring up at him with adoration and desperation. If it weren't for the blood that painted your whole body and surroundings red, he would have found comfort in your presence.

"I did this.." You ran your fingers along your fresh wounds, not once wincing or drawing back in discomfort. "For you."

You continued, a sick sweetness in your voice. "Jus' wanted to show you how much I love you.. You've been leaving me so lonely, Mello." You frowned. "It was only a matter of time before I had to do something. And now you're finally here.. And you won't leave me again."

#mello x reader #mello x y/n #mihael keehl #death note fanfiction #death note #death note mello #death note near #death note angst #angst prompts #angst dialogue prompts #angst #sh tw #tw s/h #yandere mello #mello yandere #death note yandere #death note oneshot #death note imagines #rattyoakenbitch

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠❞ ─ 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐦

after all this time, i start asking why i'm staying

were you ever mine?

are we something that's worth saving?

❥ content ; gn reader, eventual fluff, angst, happy ending

❥ warnings ; cursing, themes of cheating

❥ synopsis ; you're will's s/o. when he comes home from work, you can tell he's off. what you didn't expect was him to kick you out.

❥ a/n ; none!

"Will?"

You call out after hearing the front door to your house open and shut. When you don't get a response, you get up from your laying position on the couch and approach the front door.

There, Will stood. His back was turned to you as he hung up his coat, and although you could not see his face, you could immediately tell he was off. Even the energy around him felt dark and tense.

"Oh, hey, hun.." You said anxiously, trying not to set him off in any way.

Will didn't react to your voice. Instead, he backed away from the clothing rack and walked past you, not even bothering to spare you a look. This wasn't the first time Will acted out like this, especially considering he was exhausted all the time from the work Crawford gave him. But he would at least greet you soon as he walked through the door, not flat out treat you as if you didn't exist.

"Will," you sighed dejectedly, more to yourself than to your boyfriend. You quietly followed him upstairs to the master bedroom, where he began to strip off his work clothes, changing into something more comfortable. Still, he ignored your presence. You had to make another move.

You slowly approached him from behind, placing your hands on his shoulders. You were immediately taken back when he forcefully removed himself from your touch and walked away to another corner of the room.

"Will, I just-"

"What?" he scoffed mockingly, "You just want to help?"

"You're my boyfriend, Will, of course I want to!"

He laughed.

"It certainly doesn't help when you breathe down my neck every fucking minute."

Tears pricked in your eyes, Will's vicious tone scaring you. You searched Will's own eyes, trying to find any trace of remorse or regret. He had none. You didn't even know who you were looking at.

"What are you talking about, Will? When you want space, I give you space. When you want love, I give you love! What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to leave."

And then it was quiet for a moment. You both stood there silently, feet away from each other, eyes burning holes into the others.

"..What?" You stared in disbelief. "Wh- What are you saying right now, Will?"

"I want you to leave. I want you gone, Y/N. I don't need you anymore."

"No," you bit your quivering lips, hot tears spilling down your cheeks. Will averted his stare from your crying form, the floor suddenly becoming more interesting.

"No, you're lying. You're just saying that. You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool me."

"I'm sorry, Y/N." Lies. "It's best if you just leave."

You choked on a sob. "What?! Where is this coming from all of a sudden? We were okay just the other day!"

Will remained silent, still not daring to make eye contact with you.

"Is there someone else?"

"I- No, Y/N. I don't owe you an explanation."

"So this is it, then? You're just gonna kick me out?"

"Please, Y/N. Don't make this harder than it already is."

"This is hard for you?! You're not the one getting kicked out!"

Will sighed, somehow managing to remain calm while you screamed at him.

"I'm sorry." And the conversation ended there.

You began to pack your bags. You also phoned a friend, asking them if you could crash for a bit until you had a stable job and a home. You were not about to sleep on the sofa tonight.

You opened and slammed drawers, taking your anger out on furniture as you took your belongings with you. You also did it to spite Will, who attempted to get some sleep. But he did not complain. He continued to act as if you didn't exist.

It made you wonder. Where did it all go wrong? How long has he thought about leaving you? Was there another person?

Will wouldn't answer your questions. At this point, you didn't wanna know.

You were able to finish packing up within an hour. Will was still wide awake during that time, listening closely to the angry banging of furniture, quiet sniffles and shaky inhales as you tried the best you could to keep your composure.

You loaded all your bags into your car, getting ready to head to your friend's place. You went back inside to get a couple more things and look around the house a final time. You stopped by the front door as you were about to leave, your eyes landing on a picture on the windowsill of you and Will. Your already tired, red eyes welled with tears again. You opened up the frame, sliding the picture out and folding it into your pocket. Not like Will would want it in his house anyway.

And so you left.

You didn't say your goodbyes. You just left.

A week had gone by. Will carried on with his job as usual, attended his therapy sessions, but he never once mentioned you. Not a lot of people knew about you and Will's relationship, or what was once a relationship. Since his coworkers already knew so much, or what Will deemed to be enough information about him, he wanted to keep your relationship secret. Not that you minded.

The only person who knew of your relationship was Alana Bloom and Jack Crawford, but even when it ended, he didn't tell them anything. He didn't tell them how guilty he felt the night he kicked you out. He didn't tell them he still had nightmares about you being harmed. He didn't tell them how he was the one harming you in his nightmares. He didn't tell them how empty he felt when you blocked his number and social medias (ok sorry but like little headcanon here?? will has an instagram and it's just pictures of him fishing / or of his dogs fnsmdnskdjsk).

He never told them how he tried not to stay in his house as often, because it reminded him of you.

He was definitely acting strange at work. It was easy to tell. Even Bev pulled him aside to inquire about his health. But he continued to keep his mouth shut, until he couldn't.

Will rushed to the front door when he heard little taps on the metal screen. Secretly, he hoped it would be you. But when he opened it, there stood Alana Bloom. Will always thought Alana was beautiful. But how could anyone disagree?

Her long, dark waves that framed her perfect, slim face were never unchecked and unkempt. Makeup or none, preppy work uniforms or pajamas, she always seemed to look her best.

You even found yourself feeling small and insecure when Will invited her over for you to meet. But he assured you that she could never even compare to you. You believed it.

Alana's thin lips curled up into a soft smile. "Will. Can I come in?"

"Y-Yeah, sure." He let her in and she walked through the front door for the first time in forever.

"Jeez," she chuckled. "How long as it been?"

"Maybe too long," Will simply replied.

Alana walked around the house, scanning every detail while Will patiently trailed behind her. The dogs were playing outside, so it was just the two of them.

"Why did you decide to come over today?"

"I've been worried about you." She turned around to face Will, who stopped a few feet in front of her. "But now that I'm here in your house, I can see why you've been acting off."

"What's your diagnosis, Doctor?" Will joked, an attempt at lightening the tense air.

"Y/N. They left, haven't they?"

There it is.

Technically, Alana wasn't wrong. You did leave, but Will never clarified in what circumstance.

Will looked at the ground.

"Yeah.. Took all the photos too."

"Hey," Alana began, her finger resting under Will's chin, prompting him to look up at her. "You don't have to hide from me."

A week had gone by. A long, lonely, miserable week. You crashed at your friend's for two nights before your parents invited you to live with them while you worked on getting back on your feet. They didn't live too far, so you thanked your friend for their hospitality and moved in with your parents.

As you finished unpacking your stuff, you realized you were missing some things. You cursed at the realization you would probably have to pick up some stuff from Will's.

You still had the key, so you would have no problem getting in, unless he had the lock changed of course. You were only worried about running into him.

What the hell?

You got dressed. You didn't wear anything fancy, but in case you ran into Will, you felt obligated to look presentable and show him that you could still make it without him. You decided on doing a bit of makeup. Again, nothing fancy. Just enough to conceal the dark circles under your eyes and make your features pop.

And then you headed on the dreadful drive to Will's place.

When you got there, you were too nervous and too focused on making the trip quick to even notice Alana's car in his driveway.

However, what did catch your attention, were the many dogs Will owned. They ran up to you as soon as they recognized you. They panted as they jumped and wagged their tails, expressing their happiness the most they could. You tried your best to pet them all, your mouth lifting up into a smile. You didn't realize it but you really missed the dogs.

You dug around for the key in your pocket and pulled it out, quietly unlocking the front door and letting yourself in.

"You don't have the hide from me.."

Your eyebrows furrowed together at the sound of a female voice.

When you walked into the living room, you were horrified to see Will with another woman. Alana.

Their lips were locked, engaging in a passionate kiss, not even noticing your presence. You felt sick as you put the pieces together.

"Now I know why you kicked me out," you whispered, half to yourself and half to Will, who almost about pushed Alana off him at the sound of your voice.

Both their cheeks heated up in embarrassment when their eyes fell on you.

"Y/N! I'm so sorry, I thought-"

"Look, I only came to pick up some stuff. Then I'll be out of your way." You didn't once look away from Will, deciding to totally disregard Alana's presence and apologetic mutters.

With that, you rushed out of the living room and into your bedroom, searching under the bed and in the closet for your missing items.

You heard faint talking from the living room but tuned out most of it, deciding it wasn't worth your time or even your business in the first place. Then you heard the front door shut and a car start from outside.

Before you could process what might've happened, you heard Will's footsteps stop outside the bedroom.

"Y/N, we should talk."

"No, we shouldn't."

"You blocked my number."

"What good would it do if I kept it?"

"Please, hear me out."

Disgruntled, you turned to face Will, sending a cold glare his way.

"Look, unless you found a way to make a time machine and give me back the time I wasted on you, I don't want to speak with you."

"Why won't you just listen to me?!" he snapped.

You scoffed, "Well surprise, douchebag, I have feelings and you hurt them!"

"Well, I'm sorry, alright?" he calmed down now.

"Are you? Really?" You shook your head. "A sorry won't fix this, Will. Not after what you did. Gods- I can't even look at you right now."

You laughed. "You know what fucking sucks? After all you did, after the cheating and the lies, I'm still in love with you."

Will teared up. "I was never with Alana, Y/N. It's always been you."

"Then, why, Will? Why did you throw me out so coldly like that?"

"I began to have dreams, Y/N. Nightmares," Will admitted, his voice beginning to break. "Nightmares about people hurting you. Criminals. It was too real. As much as I loved- As much as I love you, I never wanted you to choose me. I don't want people using you as a weapon against me. To hurt me."

You slowly walked towards Will, stopping a foot away from him. You looked up into his glossy bambi eyes as he spoke.

"It was when the nightmares got worse, when I was the one hurting you, that I realized you weren't safe with me."

You cried. "Oh, Will. I wish you had told me."

"I couldn't. I didn't want you to remember me that way."

You laughed. "Well, I ended up remembering you as the asshole who kicked me out, instead."

Will managed to give you a smile through his tears.

He brought his hand to your shoulder, and gently lead it up your neck to the side of your face, cupping it lightly and brushing his thumb across your cheek.

"I would never hurt you, Y/N."

"I know. I know, Will. You aren't a monster for having nightmares you can't control." You brought your own hand up and placed it against Will's, leaning into his warm touch. "I'm still here. I'm alive. In your hands. And I feel safe with you."

Almost hesitantly, Will leaned in, connecting his lips to yours. His body felt tense, but when you kissed him back, you felt his worries disappear into the air.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

"Stay with me tonight?"

#will graham x reader #will graham fluff #will graham angst #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal tv show #hannibal gifs #will graham gifs #will graham oneshot #will graham imagines #rattyoakenbitch #alana bloom #angsty #hannibal fandom #hannibal fanfiction #beach bunny #lyric prompts

[rattyoakenbitch]

karate kid: “because of you” ₊˚ ⸝  johnny x reader

❝but it can all get a lil’ crazy, unless there’s something to hold onto. for me, that was true love.❞

gif credit: n/a song: lana del rey - because of you

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

pairings: johnny lawrence (1984) x reader

warnings: angst, language, mentions of sex, themes of depression, the overuse of the word ‘baby’ lmfaooo

summary: despite johnny’s reputation, you still weren’t expecting him, your first and only, to be unfaithful. but you were only a blind fool in love, after all.

“.. What the hell is going on here?”

You stood back on the beach overlook with your friend, watching the scene unravel before your eyes.

Below you, there Johnny was, along with his little Cobra Kai gang. The small crowd of teenagers around him shouted and cheered as he brawled with a smaller kid in a red sweater, who was obviously getting his ass beat. 

“Dammit, Johnny, stop!” 

A familiar high pitched, girlish scream caught your attention. Your eyes scanned the crowd until they stopped on Ali, who you knew to be Johnny’s old flame. Despite them being over for a while now, you knew Johnny still had feelings for her. But it was something you buried in the back of your mind. You were too in love with Johnny to acknowledge or care about the fact that he hasn’t moved on. 

Now, watching what was happening, you didn’t know what to think or how to feel. You’ve barely talked to Johnny at all over the week, and now you find him here?

Instead of intervening and chasing after Johnny, you gestured for your friend to follow you back to the car and head elsewhere. She didn’t protest and based on the heartbroken expression on your face, she knew better than to question you. Now was not the time to talk it through. 

Since that night, things were not the same. You explained your situation to your parents who were aware of your relationship, or now former relationship with Johnny. Johnny would call a few times a day, but you never bothered to pick up. His calls started to get more and more frequent, so you ended up blocking his number. Because of this, you started to fall out with the Cobra Kais, who you made good friends with because of your relationship with Johnny. So knowing you’d run into them at school, you stopped attending and would spend the days locked up in your room, only going out to use the bathroom or get something from the kitchen. By now, Johnny knew something was up, and went as far as to pick a fight with your dad whenever he’d drop by your house, asking to see you.

“Come on! I just wanna see Y/N, dammit!”

“She’s none of your business anymore, young man. Now get the hell off my property!”

“Man, fuck you! Let me see her! I need to talk to her!”

“You have three seconds, Mr Lawrence!”

“Y/N, I know you’re in there! I know you can hear me!”

The days became gloomier and gloomier. Weeks had passed and you hadn’t talked to anybody. You shut everyone out and would spend the days alone in your bed, wallowing in your own self pity.

How could you be so foolish?

To think you could be the one to fix Johnny. 

To think he loved you as much as you loved him.

To think he would want a future with you as much as he wanted your clothes off.

But the reality hit you; you were just a rebound. And you let him use you. It was all your fault. 

An overwhelming feeling of nausea and anxiety overtook you. You jumped off your bed and ran to the bathroom, pushing open the toilet lid and vomiting. You flushed the contents down and got to your feet to straighten yourself up. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your eyes widening in disbelief. You didn’t even recognize your reflection.. The person looking back at you was a stranger.

You lifted your hand up to touch your face as you analyzed your appearance. You had dark bags under your bloodshot eyes, your hair disheveled, skin pale and dry. 

“That’s just great.”

Sighing, you stooped down to the sink to rinse your mouth out and splash water on your face. As soon as you were finished, you flicked the light switch and trailed back to your room. However, you were stopped in your tracks by the sound of your father’s voice. 

“Y/N..? Oh, wow.. Wow, girl, I haven’t seen you in days.. How are you feeling now?” He stared down at you, searching your empty face for answers. You avoided his gaze, crossing his arms and looking down at your feet. He sighed, “The school called. You need to return by this Monday.”

You felt your heart sink. You looked up at him, opening your mouth to speak until he cut you off.

“I know you’re still healing but... This isn’t good for you. When you get back to school, you’ll at least get to hang out with your friends again, right?” You weakly shrugged, causing him to let out another heavy sigh. He patted your shoulder. “It’ll get better and soon, you’ll be back to your normal self!”

“What day is it?” you asked.

“It’s Sunday..”

You groaned, “Oh, gosh.” 

“Hey, hey, hey, you’ll be fine.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, definitely. I’ll run into my ex and his little posse, who I ghosted, and then have to explain to my friends why I look and feel like shit. Great. Thanks dad,” you scoffed sarcastically, and stormed off into your room, slamming it shut.

Today was the today. Exasperatingly, you dragged yourself out of bed, showered, brushed your teeth, and tied up your hair into a long braid that cascaded down your back. You figured you’d put on a bit of concealer to hide your dark circles, and topped that off by applying dark red lipstick. You dressed yourself in a white shirt, the collar sticking out of the green sweater you layered on top of it. You matched that with a white pleated skirt that stopped mid thigh, and slipped on a pair of black knee high socks. 

Finished with your look, you shrugged on your backpack and headed downstairs, putting on your Mary Janes before pulling open the front door. You ignored your mom’s calls and ran out to the driveway, about to get into your vehicle to head to school. However, the plans seemed to change when a familiar red car idling on your street caught your attention. 

Your heart began to thump loudly in your chest when you met Johnny’s burning gaze as he waited for you in the car. Knowing how stubborn and persistent he was, you immediately gave up and got into the car, slamming the door shut. 

“All right, so you gonna explain where the hell you’ve been?” Anger and rancor dripped off his voice. You knew this would happen.

Turning to look him in the eye, you treated him with the same attitude. “Oh, that’s just golden! Where have I been? No, Johnny, where the hell have you been? I was trying to reach you for over a week until I found you at the beach with Ali.. Not to mention you were picking on that poor kid.”

As soon as you mentioned Ali, Johnny’s demeanor changed. He laid back into his seat, his jaw clenched. He was caught. 

“Did you seriously think I wouldn’t find out?”

When he wouldn’t reply, you broke the silence. “I don’t wanna argue with you right now, let alone talk to you. Now just drive me to school or I’ll be late.”

He scoffed. “Since when did you care about being late? You were absent for more than a week!”

“Jeez, wonder why,” you retorted. “You know what? This was a mistake.” You pushed open the car door, about to step out, when Johnny gripped your wrist, pulling you back. 

“Wait, don’t go,” he said softly, begging you to stay. Worry filled his big baby blue eyes as he waited on your decision. “Please, Y/N.” You could never say no to him, especially when he was giving you that look. You got back into the car and shut the door, but faced away from Johnny. You swatted away his hand, causing him to recoil and put both hands on the wheel. 

“If we’re gonna talk, let’s not do it here,” you said.

After that, you both stayed silent as he started the car, driving off to wherever. As you drew nearer to your destination, the surroundings started to look more and more familiar. It hit you; this is where you and Johnny had your first kiss, and maybe a little more than just that.. You found yourself smiling at the memories. Then again, maybe some things are just better as memories. 

You were laid beside Johnny on his car, watching the sunset. When the sun went down, instead of heading back home, you ended up stargazing together. You both entirely forgot about your surroundings and the time, getting lost in conversation. Conversation turned into kissing, which eventually lead to something much more heated. 

“You’re so damn beautiful, baby. I can’t believe you’re all mine,” Johnny hummed, beaming and grinning widely. You giggled, continuing to pepper his pretty face with kisses.

“Well, you better believe it then, babe,” you said in between kisses. “Cause I’m not going anywhere.” 

Johnny sighed in satisfaction, pulling you closer to him. “Good, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Johnny managed to catch your lips, capturing you in a deep, passionate and loving kiss. He held you tightly against him as you straddled his lap like his life depended on it. 

Johnny pulled over, snapping you back into reality. You overlooked the city as he shut off the car engine with a heavy sigh, preparing himself for whatever was to come out of this conversation.

“So? You got anything to say for yourself, Lawrence?”

He took a moment to think, before opening his mouth to speak. 

“Y/N.. I’m sorry. I fucked up big time.” You scoffed at that, rolling your eyes and looking away from Johnny. “I’m sorry! I really am! I know I shouldn’t have gone after Ali when I had you.”

“Had,” you pointed out, chuckling.

“Oh, just listen to me, will ya? I told you I’m sorry and I admit to my mistakes!”

“And lemme guess; you’re telling me all this just now because Ali once again rejected you?” Johnny stayed silent, a sheepish and guilty look on his face. You groaned, “For fucks sake, Johnny. Do you ever mean the things you say? This was a complete waste of my time.”

“I didn’t wanna lose you, Y/N.”

“If you’re still loving Ali, then you’ve already lost me.”

“Yeah, thanks for stating the obvious. You ghosted me! At least I tried to make things right between us instead of running away!”

“You really are an awful person, Johnny Lawrence. My friends were right about you-” you blurted out. Your throat ached as you tried to keep yourself together. “You’re really nothing but a player! There is no ‘us’. You don’t give a damn about me. You never did. So just drop the act and take me to school,” you whispered the last part, not wanting Johnny to hear your voice break. But he could easily see through your anger and sense the sadness in your voice.

You faced the opposite direction from Johnny. 

“Please look at me,” Johnny said after a while. You refused to glance his way, your eyes fixed on your fingers as you anxiously twiddled them together. The rage built up inside of you and the thoughts fueled by heartbreak, you kept to yourself. You wanted to be strong. You didn’t want to show Johnny how much he truly hurt you. But all that was gone when tears began to stream down your face. 

“Oh, Y/N, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, I-” Johnny trailed off, his voice cracking. He felt so lost. He had never been faced with a situation like this, even with Ali. And he’s never seen you cry before. You were always tough and strong in front of him, and to see you bawl like this, he thought it really must be that bad. 

“Don’t apologize unless you really mean it,” you sniffled. “Don’t make it worse than it already is.”

“Then I’m gonna keep apologizing because I mean it! With all my heart, Y/N, I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you cry. I can’t stand seeing you like this because of me.”

You turned your face slightly towards Johnny’s direction, curiosity and hope sparking inside of you. 

“I was told that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. And even if you leave after this, I’m not gonna hide the way I feel, Y/N. I’ve never felt this way about a girl. Even with Ali. That’s why I was confused at first, but I knew I wanted to make it work with you.” Johnny squeezes your hand in his significantly bigger ones. “I hated to admit it at first, but I was and am smitten with you. You cross my mind everyday, and every song reminds me of you. And- And even if you shut me out after this.. If you go, I’ll stay. Even when you fall out of love, I just want you to know I’ll always have feelings for you.”

You didn’t know what to say after Johnny’s confession. You had all these emotions; betrayal, heartbreak, anger, confusion. They clouded your mind. You didn’t know how to properly react. 

“Do you really mean that?”

Johnny chuckles sadly, “I may be a douche, but I’m not a liar.”

You leaned back into your seat, replaying everything that just happened in your head. Johnny’s confessions, his declaration of love for you. You knew Johnny had a rough life and wasn’t one to be open about his feelings. And you also knew you loved that boy, even after the pain he caused you. Did you really wanna risk it and be with him? 

After being silent for a while, the uncomfortable stillness in the air prompted Johnny to speak up. 

“You- I- I’ll just.. I can take you home. Wherever-”

“No! Wait, don’t,” you placed your hand over Johnny’s before he got the chance to start the car. You locked eyes with him, your heart beat beginning to speed up suddenly. You were stuck on what to do at that moment. 

“Oh, fuck it,” you thought to yourself, and cupped Johnny’s face, bringing him closer to you. Now without the support of your hands, you were caught off balance and ended up stumbling atop Johnny. And in the heat of the moment, you crashed your lips to his. Okay, that was totally intentional. 

Johnny didn’t waste a second and immediately kissed you back, holding you steady above him. You really didn’t want to, but you had to break the kiss for air, giving Johnny the chance to let out breathy words.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you so much, baby.”

You pressed your forehead to his and wrapped your arms around his shoulders while you tangled your fingers in his hair. He cupped your face, placing gentle little kisses on your nose.

“Nothing bad is gonna happen to us, baby, I promise.”

#johnny lawrence #johnny lawrence x reader #karate kid #Cobra Kai #karate kid fic #karate kid fanfic #karate kid fanfiction #johnny lawrence fanfiction #johnny lawrence x you #johnny lawrence smut #johnny lawrence 1984 #johnny lawrence angst #johnny lawrence fluff #johnny lawrence fanfic #rattyoakenbitch #ali mills #angst #smut #drama #fluff #depression tw #tw: depression #lana del rey #lana del rey lyrics #johnny lawrence headcanon #johnny lawrence oneshot #johnny lawrence imagine

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐬𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝❞ ─ 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

oh, you're cold as ice, baby. i don't wanna fight, baby. it's like i told you; if you stay, i'll stay

❥ content ; gn reader, angst, happy ending

❥ warnings ; toxicity, drinking, strong language, big but legal age gap, steamy makeout session

❥ synopsis ; after a series of stressful events, you find yourself drinking again. unfortunately, so does spencer.

❥ a/n ; none !

With a heavy, bone-tired sigh, Spencer stepped out of the elevator, making a beeline towards his apartment. He stopped outside the door, bringing his hand to his head. He ran it through his long, textured waves, his fingers getting stuck at the strands tangled together.

Spencer stayed like that, nervously idling outside his apartment. The apartment he shared with you.

Spencer had traveled to California for a case with his team prior. It had been days, if not a week since he had actually seen or talked to you. The day of his departure, you weren't exactly on the best of terms.

You loved Spencer. You didn't doubt it for a second. You would have left him long ago if you didn't. Still, your relationship wasn't perfect. You were both very different, career wise. You were an aspiring photographer, and worked at a local coffee shop on the side. Spencer worked at the BAU. Very different. You had just graduated from college when you met Spencer, and, despite the fact that he was almost ten years older, you hit it off and eventually began dating. Though your messy, inconsistent schedules got in the way of any quality time you could spend together, neither of you decided to go your seperate ways. You didn't want to. You were stubborn. So was Spencer. Not because he was desperate. Hell, he didn't even need to try to get girls. He was practically a pussy magnet.

But he chose you. And you chose him. Because you were both in love. Real love, and that's rare.

It still didn't change the fact that you were bothered by Spencer's lack of presence. You openly voiced your frustration over it several times, but you eventually learned to accept that your relationship would never be normal like that. As long as there were bad guys fucking shit up, Spencer would have no time being lovey-dovey.

Which is why Spencer felt uneasy, afraid of what he'd find at the other side of the door. Would you still greet him with open arms? Or would you shun him?

Well, you did neither.

Your eyes were glued to the screen in front of you, but you weren't mentally present. Which is also why you didn't notice Spencer walk in, his jaw hanging open.

The first thing he noticed were the crushed up cans dumped across the floor, along with broken glass bottles, identical to the one you held in your hand.

The apartment was void of any light, save for the dim illumination the TV screen emitted. Spencer almost didn't notice you in the darkness. You were curled up on the corner of the couch, your eyes, again, never once leaving the screen. Of course, the TV didn't provide enough light for Spencer to make out any your features, but he knew it was you.

"Y-You're drinking again?!" was the first thing Spencer could blurt out, his mind racing with thoughts. You jumped up from your spot on the couch, your heartbeat speeding up at the abrupt noise. You clumsily leaned over to the side table, switching on the lamp. The sudden brightness stung, causing tears to well in your bloodshot eyes.

"Ah - shit," you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. "Hello to you, too. I didn't even hear you come in."

"No, you didn't! What is all this?! What-" Spencer was at a loss for words. He scanned you from head to toe, not believing his eyes. Your hair was unkempt, to put it lightly. The dark circles under your tired eyes seemed to have become a deeper shade since the last time he had seen. Your lips were chapped, but wet with alcohol that also stained your clothes.

"Why?" was all Spencer managed to get out.

You shrugged your shoulders. "Dunno, got a little lonely and bored.." If it weren't for the alcohol, you don't know if you'd be able to remain calm in a situation like this.

"God! You could have stayed with family - I don't know! Just look at the place! Have you even left the apartment at all?"

"How can I stay with family when my only family is states away and constantly traveling?!" you finally snapped angrily.

"Is this what this is about?" Spencer said softly, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. He looked away from your hard stare, afraid of the guilt he'd feel.

You stuck out your bottom lip in a mocking pout. "Figure it out, genius boy."

"Watch it," Spencer snapped, but you merely rolled your eyes at him.

"You're not my dad. You're barely a boyfriend! You don't order me around," you sneered, watching a flash of pain spread across Spencer's face. But he was quick to compose himself, playing the calm, peace maker.

"Look, we can discuss this tomorrow when we're both rested and sober."

"Oh, really? The last time we made plans, you had to leave. It's all you know."

"Well what do you want me to do?! Do you want me to quit my job?!"

"I don't know, Spencer! I don't know anything, anymore!" you shouted back. Your head began to spin, tears blurring your vision and then you were on the floor, drunkenly grabbing at the air for support. Spencer rushed to your side, attempting to help, only for you to shove him back, harder than you probably intended. Now you were both a mess on the floor, crying and mumbling curses.

Spencer crawled towards you, clasping your hand in his. "Let me help, sweetheart. S'all I wanna do."

"I don't need your damn help," you scowled, hot tears still spilling down your flushed cheeks. You placed your free hand on his chest, but didn't try pushing him away. "I don't want it.. And I don't want you."

Spencer felt his heart ache at the statement, but he knew it was a lie. A facade.

"I know you don't mean that."

"Well you didn't mean it when you said 'I love you' so I guess we're both liars," you scoffed pitifully.

"I meant it, Y/N, and you know it." You remained silent. "I love you. I really do."

"No, just shut up and this'll be easier."

Tired of your attitude, Spencer gripped your chin, forcing you to look up at him, your glossy eyes locking with his deep browns.

"Dammit, Y/N, listen to me. I love you, so, so much, that I will put up with your stubborn attitude that I hate so much, because deep down, I know you're the biggest softie. And you love me, too, no matter what you say to get me to believe you don't."

"I don't love you." Lies. "I wish I never met you."

Spencer pressed his forehead against yours, nearly headbutting you with the sudden action. His lips just barely brushed against yours, and you could feel his hot breath fan your face.

"Don't you lie to me."

"I'm not lying. I hate you. I fucking loathe you, Spencer Reid."

"Then why haven't you backed away?" he whispered, his voice laced with hope.

Silence.

"Answer m-"

Just like that, your lips were on his, roughly claiming them while effectively shutting him up. Spencer didn't waste a second kissing you back, returning the same roughness. He slipped his tongue past your bottom lip, tasting the bitter alcohol that tainted them. You let out a quiet moan, hoping, just hoping he didn't hear. But of course he did, and that only encouraged him. He wrapped his arms around you desperately, trying to get as close to you as physically possible. Your bodies pressed up against each other perfectly, fitting together in all the right places and curves like a puzzle piece, made for each other.

And this is where you belonged, tangled up in your lover's arms. You didn't want to part. More than anything, you didn't want to break away. But eventually you had to, your lungs suddenly feeling tight with lack of oxygen.

You buried your head in the crook of Spencer's neck, sobbing out.

"God, I've missed you so much. Please don't leave me again. I love you so much, Spencer." You repeated it like a mantra, afraid Spencer would disappear into thin air if you stopped.

Spencer rubbed circles on your back comfortingly. "Shh, baby, I'm right here. I won't leave. I'm sorry. I love you so much," he cooed. "We'll be okay."

#tw: alcohol #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #cm #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #lana del rey #rattyoakenbitch #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid gif #angst #prompts #criminal minds fandom #inbox open

[rattyoakenbitch]

i'm starting a picrew thread thingy i guess!! i came across this picrew while searching for the keyword "elf" (:

tagging<3 @tolkienblackgirl @luv4fandoms @saviorsong @aspookybunny @fancat-not-fangirl @scariusaquarius @fizzyxcustard @narnvaeron and any1 else who wants to do this!! (interact only if u wanna ofc, sorry for tagging in advance!!)

#tag game #rattyoakenbitch