#raphael + michael ( how far are you going to walk with a broken heart

[orbitcd]

the drama of it all. // @safaerax​​ " there's so much you don't know. " // Michael @ Raph

                 ‘ you’re quite right, there’s MANY things i do not know - but it isn’t as if you do, either. you and i are extremely knowledgeable on some subjects, while we both lack in others. ’ scarred hands flicked his dagger towards michael. without blinking or even crying, the angel sliced the sharpened weapon deep down his hand. ‘ can you fix this? making sure that my tendons heal and i have full use of my hand once more? ’ he asked nonchalantly, not phased by the shimmering ichor spilling down his palm, between his fingers and down his arm. he allowed it to drip on the polished ivory beneath their bare feet. 

                 he offered his hand to the archangel, ‘ i want you to fix me up, michael. can’t you do that? ’ he asked again, waiting. emerald eyes then glanced down at his injured hand, watching the wound heal quickly. it wouldn’t scar, because he refused it, unlike some of the others he wore as reminders and memories. wiping off the remainder of his ichor from his elbow and forearm, raphael then met michael’s gaze. 

                 he shrugged, ‘ this is my expertise where you have your own. are there things you also keep from me, thus many others keep from me by your word? yes, of course - just as i have my own secrets and burdens you needn’t know about. the world is endless, even if we ourselves are older than it. we do not know everything about it, and i don’t believe we ever will - that is for our father and him only. i just tend not to push that boundary of knowing too much and assuming i know everything because of it. ’

#you've been read ( inbox. ) #safaerax #raphael + michael ( how far are you going to walk with a broken heart? ) #i don't think y'all believe me when i say raph's chaotic #until he does smthn like stabbing himself and he's just 'ok? fix it'

[sparkbeast20]

An Angel doesn’t belong here!

Warning: Swearing, dark stuff and angst

Lucifer

Lucifer was walking back to his room, to finally have some alone time with his beloved after a long day of filling up paper work and dealing with his brothers’ shenanigans.

Once opening the door, he stops dead on his track when he saw you packing a luggage with your things and a familiar face helping you.

“What’s the meaning of this Michael!”

Michael stops and look at Lucifer with a sad and unpleased look on his face, he walks closer to Lucifer with one hand in his pocket and the other using to gesture, and he begins to speak.

“Lucifer, Father ordered me to escort Y/n back home”

“Y/n home is here, with my brothers and I, they decided to stay here after becoming my mate” he said it stern tone as he slowly crushes the door knob that he still holding.

Michael let out a sigh and look Lucifer directly in the eye and say with a serious tone.

“I didn’t mean the Human world”

Lucifer let go the door knob, his eyes widen and turn to look at you and notice that you’re dress in white but with an emotionless face and eyes hazy.

He tries to approach you, when Michael step right in front of him with arms cross on his chest.

“I need to talk to them” but Michael just shake head.

“I sorry Lucifer, but you can’t near them”

“Why not!”

“Because their an Angel, I can’t let you corrupt them and ruining their chance of ascend above” he sighs and pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Look it was a mistake letting them stay here this long, Y/n is too pure to be here in hell.” Michael continues to talk, and walks over to you, all the while Lucifer standing near the door frame stunned.

“So, Father solution is to take them somewhere safe and as far away from demonic influences, you do understand do you Lucifer, An Angel doesn’t belong here”

In a moment, you tug on Michael sleeve “Done?” you just nod as if you were a puppet, seeing how you move and respond broke Lucifer, in his mind was thinking what did Michael did to you,

The two of you start walking out of Lucifer’s room.

“Oh!” Michael stops and places on hand on a stunned Lucifer, then says “don’t worry, I’ll take good care of them”

Mammon

Proud on his winning, Mammon walks down an empty and quiet hall towards his room, ready to show off all the grimms he won, once he got to the door, barge in with the sack of grimms held up high.

“Oi, Babe look what I got we’re going out to night so get dress” eyes close and voice loud.

“Mammon, are you always this impulsive and loud”

His arms drop on his side, eyes open from the top of the stairs of his room, he saw you all in white staring at the mirror, then he looks around to see Azrael sitting in his couch, looking through his magazine with stern look on his face.

“Azrael, W-what are you d-doing here” Mammon hardly can talk, knowing what Azrael’s role is, send shiver down his spine.

Azrael let out sigh, close the magazine, then stood up and start walking over to you.

“Look, I won’t be here long, I’m just following orders” he said it nonchalantly.

“Orders! What damn orders?” Mammon leap over the railing and rush over to Azrael, grab his shoulder the ladder, is visibly irritated of Mammon’s rude. He shrugs off Mammon hand and try to compose himself.

“I’m escorting y/n back to the Celestial Realm where they belong”

The moment of silent was broke by the bag of grimms drop on the floor, shock Mammon look over Azrael’s shoulder to see you, your emotionless face and lifeless eyes broke his heart.

He pushes Azrael out of the way and rush over to you, but stop when Azrael grab the scarf of his jacket and throw him, causing Mammon to fall on his tail bone.

Mammon was about to retaliate, when Azrael towering over him, with a darken face, he begins to speak.

“Mammon, I had enough of your rudeness, this is the reason why y/n has to go with me, from keeping their soul tainted by you and brothers demonic plague, their too good to be here” he took a deep breath and compose himself and continues “An Angel doesn’t belong here”

Azrael turn his back on Mammon, grab your bags and your hand, and start walking out the room with you.

Mammon watch you walk out with the angel; broken tears start falling from his eyes.

Once Azrael got you out of the room, he stops not even looking at Mammon and speaks

“Don’t worry Mammon, I’ll protect them”

Leviathan

Levi rush down the dark and quiet hall way with a new game in hand, exited to show you.

He got to the door of his room, he was about to turn the door knob, when a familiar laughter was coming from inside the room, he stiff then opens the door, both eyes and mouth was widened open, when he saw you in white and Uriel sitting on his tub with one of his figurines in his hand, examining the thing.

“U-Uriel why are y-you in my r-room” Levi studder, then Uriel turn look at Levi, he smiles and throw the figurine away and hop off the tub, walk closer to Levi and start talking.

“Leviathan, long time no see how’s it been, me I doing great, after you and your brothers fall, the Celestial Realm is now perfect as it should be.” the spiteful complement sting Levi, causing him to clinch his game in his hand.

Piss off at Uriel pompons attitude, Levi took in a deep breather and stand up for himself.

“If your just here insult me and my brothers, I suggest that you FUCK OFF and never talk to me”

Uriel pouts and huffs and turn his back at Levi. “Fine!” and he start walking closer to a bag and pick it up.

“Y/n lets go, this no place for Angels”

“What?” all his confined just when down the drain out of his body.

“Well, it seems that angels aren’t welcome in your room so, I guess that we should be leaving”

“they’re not an Angel, they’re human” Levi clarifies Uriel, but he just dramatically gasps with one hand over his mouth.

“How dare you call lovely y/n a human, and not an Angel, honestly I should have taken them with me back to Celestial Realm sooner, so they can have a perfect life and not be influences by you and imperfect life style.”

Levi’s face is pale as a ghost, hearing what Uriel is implying, he dots his eyes to you to see if respond to all of this, but all he saw was lifeless expression, he was terrified to see you like this.

“Please…...please don’t take them away” Levi is on his knees begging Uriel to not take you from him, but Uriel click his tongue, disgusted at Levi’s action.

“Oh, get up Leviathan, have some self-respect for yourself, begging won’t stop anything, and for once think about their wellbeing, this isn’t place for them. An Angel doesn’t belong here”

Uriel grab your hand and start walking, while Levi looks up to you with tears falling from his eyes.

“Oh, Levi!” he looks at Uriel, who has a menacing smirk on is face “Don’t worry, I’ll give them a Perfect Life”

Satan

A book in hand Satan heads towards his room, for a good reading before bed.

“Be careful, we don’t want to make a mess in here” Satan drop his book, to see that the door is open and an Angel helping you pack.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU! AND WHY ARE TOUCH MY MATE!” the angel quickly turns around to see Satan, he got up and stood in front of Satan, blocking you from his direction.

“Satan, am Zadkiel I came here to escort y/n back to the Celestial Realm, as order of my Father” he said it with a stern tone in his voice.

Satan march over to Zadkiel and grab the angel by the collar of his uniform and raise him up.

“you’re not taking them anywhere; you don’t decide for them and I don’t care what you father tell you, their staying here with me and my brothers” Satan growls at the Angel, but Zadkiel is not phase by the threat.

“Thank you, Satan for showing me what my father and my brothers are warning me about and the reason that y/n really need to come with me” Satan’s eyes widen and drop Zadkiel then took a step back.

“What do you mean by that?” Satan asks and turns to you, his heart shuttered when he saw your lifeless eyes.

“If they stay here, they won’t be able to ascend” Zadkiel walks over to you and fixes your hair and continue “If you care for their well-being, you need to let them go, Satan” he looks over to Satan with a genuine look of concern.

Satan knows that some part of his statement was true, but he wants to know one thing.

“But, why the Celestial Realm, should they be escorted to the human world?”

But Zadkiel shook his head and answer Satan’s question.

“My father sees them as an Angel, heist fort they belong with us in Celestial Realm, not at the human world or here, an angel doesn’t belong here in Devildom”

Zadkiel grab your hand and lead you out of the room, while Satan watch unable to move.

“I do apologies Satan” Zadkiel look back at Satan “but don’t worry about them, they’re in good hands”

Asmodeus

Cheerful Asmo, skip down the dark and quiet halls, with two bags in each hand making his way to his room, exited to show you all the cute things he bought.

He walks in with his eyes close and heads toward the nearest drawer, and start greeting you.

“Oh Darling, I can wait for you to see the dress I bought”

“Asmodeus, you’re still the same pompous and narcissist, well it’s a good thing you became a Demon”

The bags drop on the floor, Asmo was shaking as he turns around, to see the where the familiar voice came.

“R-Raphael” Asmo clinch his jacket in fear and shock, his heart shuttered in a million of pieces to what his saw.

You awake but lifeless, sitting on Raphael while he was cuddling you with one arm.

“RAPHAEL! WHAT HAVE YOU DO TO THEM” Asmo rush over, when Raphael raises his hand, then brought it near his lips making a quiet gesture to Asmo.

“Their tired, so I let them rest in my arms” he said it while fix your hair, and Asmo watches.

“Raphael please let them go” Asmo voices crack bagging for Raphael to let you go, but he just ignores as see looks at you with deep concern and happiness.

“Look at them, so precious and innocent like an Angel” Raphael kisses the top of your head, then turn to Asmo, with a darken face “An Angel doesn’t belong here, right Asmo”

“No! They do belong here; I’ll make sure that their soul~”

“Enough!”

Asmo covered his mouth, in fear he drops down on his knee’s tears building up.

Raphael regains his Compose sure, and looks at you with an apologist look on his face.

“I sorry for yelling, you final get to see him so now, we really should be leave, Love” once you nod lightly, Raphael stood up with you in his arm and your bag on one of his shoulders, and start walking out of the room.

Asmo, just look on in horror seeing you being carried away by Raphael.

“Asmodeus!” Raphael turns his head and says “Don’t worry, I’ll give all the love they need”

Beelzebub

Beel walks down the empty hallway with snack in his arms heading to his and Belphie’s room, for some alone time with you.

Once the door open, he saw you standing in the middle of the room, dress all in white and holding a luggage.

“y/n?” concern beel walks over to you, when he saw your eyes, he drops everything stop dead at his track.

“Beelzebub, look what you did, you made a mess” Beel look up at the swirl stair case to see Ramiel leaning on railing with a smile on his face.

“Ramiel, what are you doing?” Beel asks in a confuse tone, while Ramiel went down the stair and start talking.

“I was just supposed to bring y/n back to Celestial Realm but, I miss my favorite twins, I couldn’t find Belphegor anywhere, so I waited for you”

“What do mean bring y/n back to Celestial Realm?”

“Oops, my bad I didn’t send you a message, well since I’m here. Father send me personal to bring y/n back to Celestial Realm to? How those he puts it. “Save their soul from damned nation” something along that line” he said nonchalantly, Beel’s eyes widen, and rush over to you hugging, but Ramiel grab your arms and pull you in a protective hug before Beel manage to grab you.

“No-no, Beelzebub, no touchy the angel, my job is keeping them from touching you and your brothers”

“LET THEM GO!” Beel threating Ramiel, but the angel reaches down to grab your bag and stood right in front of you.

“Beelzebub, I understand that your angry, but think this clearly you love them, right?” Beel nod in response “So, you’ll do what ever it takes to keep them safe even it hurts you, yes?”

“Yes!”

“Then let them ascend, if they stay here, they’ll suffer the same way you and your brothers”

Beel froze in place after hear that, Ramiel grab your hands and slowly walk around Beel, while he just watches you go.

“I so sorry, Beelzebub, truly I am. But make sure they a wonderful life” the two walks out leaving Beel with one final word “An angel doesn’t belong here”

Belphegor

Belphie feeling strange, got up from bed turn to look at you, but you weren’t in bed he looked around to see you all in white with a bag in your hands, when he calls to you someone came out behind you.

It was Sariel, with a smug look on his face.

“Sariel, what the hell are you doing, and what with the look on your face?”

But all Sariel can do is chuckle, he wraps his arms around your shoulder, place one hand on you lower jaw and use it to talk to Belphie.

“Oh! Sorry my beloved, his here to take me away from you and your crazy family” he said it in a high pitch voice, and you look dead inside.

Belphie beyond piss at Sariel, using you like a puppet, and turn to his demon form and march towards the two of you, but Sariel grab both of your wrist and use your arms to shield the two of you.

“FUCKING, LET THEM GO SARIEL THIS IT’S FUNNY AT ALL” threating Sariel, but the angel keeps using you as a puppet.

“Beloved, you’re scaring him, his just doing his job, aren’t you happy for me. He told me that am angel and his taking me to meet your Father”

“What?” Belphie took a step back, shaking he clinch his fist, and trying to hold back the tears.

“Yep, I’m going to stay with the other angels. Sariel said that if I stay here any longer, I might get kill again or worst suffer the same way as you, an angel doesn’t belong here, Belphegor”

“Sariel stop it, they’re not your puppet, please!” Belphie is grabbing his chest in pain seeing you like this.

Sariel let go of your jaw, he leans forward over your shoulder, his entire demeanor change, he start talking in his real voice deep and unnerving “Belphegor, take one final look at them, and say your good bye, because I’m going to make sure they’ll never get kill again”

A whimper stirs him awake

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me Belphegor #obey me reader x lucifer #obey me reader x mammon #obey me reader x leviathan #obey me reader x satan #obey me reader x asmodeus #obey me reader x beelzebub #obey me reader x belphegor #obey me shall we date #obey me mc

[gloryofluv]

Order up! (Coffee Shop AU) Chapter 12

Hahaha. I'm actually dying over this chapter! So much going on, but soooo good as far as the banter.

Previous Chapter

The next day was a big win. She got her doctor's stuff done, ate a big breakfast, and they actually got Leviathan out of his room to help. He assisted with all of her electronics and was extremely meticulous. Of course, Alex actually couldn’t talk to him because he would blush and walk away from her.

Well, she would have to work on him slowly.

That left her with bringing over all the unneeded items to her now cleaned-out bedroom on Friday early afternoon. Then, of course, work. She was pretty tired considering her busy ass days lately. Tons of emotional sifting. Although, it seemed a lot easier with each of the brothers. Even Mammon was taking on a new role; her protector.

After Belphie explained what happened the other night, or at least she thinks he did, Mammon has been a new man. He’s been getting her water, carrying heavy things for her, even complaining about her going to work at night. Totally switched from who he was. Interesting.

Working in a cafe in the afternoon and evenings. Actually, there’s something to be said about that. The clients are different. The creative types who work long boring jobs during the day and need to feed off the energy of caffeine and others. The families that are out and about, ready for the weekend ahead.

There’s also a startling amount of mischief. Alex twice had to tell someone they couldn’t yell on their cellphone in the lobby. Gotta give it to Jess. She was ballsy enough to want to work evenings all the time.

Alex was fixing her displays near the register when she heard someone clear their throat. She turned around and blinked. Simeon was standing there and not in his usual sweater, but a tank top and jeans.

“Oh, Simeon,” Alex puffed with color-dusted cheeks.

“I wasn’t expecting you here this evening, Alex,” he beamed.

“I switched with Jess. Oh, um, did you want me to,” she stopped her stammering and smiled. “Are you drinking tea tonight?”

He nodded and watched as she walked around the counter. “I’m just out with some of the mentors,” he explained and gestured to a table.

Alex glanced over to see two men. One had flowing blond hair and piercing blue eyes, and the other had darker hair in braids with soulful chocolate eyes. Both were quite interested in watching their interaction.

“That’s nice,” Alex beamed with a bounce to her head. “Did you want to get them something as well?”

“Just three of the hibiscus ginger,” Simeon smiled.

She was preparing the cups and glanced back at him. “How are you doing? I feel like this is the first time Luke isn’t with you.”

Simeon laughed and shrugged. “We always see you after he’s done with school. I work in the mornings and evenings. Did you figure out your living situation?”

She set the bags in the cups and nodded. “Yes, Lucifer offered me a room.”

“Interesting. He’s not usually noted for his generosity,” Simeon mused as she set the cups in front of him.

Alex gestured to the pastry case, and Simeon shook his head. “Oh, I don’t know about that, but he has been pretty decent to me. All of them are helping me move my stuff. It’s been pretty,” she paused and exhaled while looking away from him.

“It’s difficult to confess to needing people in our lives, Alex. it gives us more opportunity to have rejection and abandonment. However, it fortifies our hearts,” Simeon beamed.

She bent over the POS screen and scowled. “Simeon, this whole time, I thought I was over it. This whole time and I realized I just never let myself touch it. To truly understand what was lost because then that makes me defective, undesirable, broken.”

“You’re very desirable, and not for being someone serving coffee with a magnificent smile,” Simeon said as his cheeks darkened a touch.

She pressed her lips together before she smiled. “Thank you, Simeon. You truly are divinity in human form.”

“I’d very much like it if you let me take you to dinner. I’ve wanted to ask you for months, but I only see you when small ears are lingering. Would you let me? I very much like you, Alex,” Simeon said with a hint of surprise. He wasn’t expecting to ask her?

“Oh, um, okay,” she smiled and nodded.

Simeon laughed and smiled. “Okay.”

Alex jerked to action and pulled out a sheet, writing out her number. “Now you can text me. I have a challenging time reaching out first. It causes quite a bit of anxiety for me,” she confessed and handed him the small paper.

He held it up before tucking it in his jean pocket. “I will take the first step then,” he paused and handed her his credit card.

Alex beamed and completed the transaction. “Simeon, thank you for having the courage to say something. I know that took so much.”

He chuckled and tilted his head. “Alex, you’re a very courageous woman. You’ve done many things others haven’t in their life and still are sweet and kind. Boldness isn’t about action. It’s feeling. Now, I’m going to go entertain the other mentors, but I will come to say goodbye before I leave.”

She rocked her head and smiled. “Okay, Simeon, have a wonderful time.”

“I will now,” he winked and left with the three cups in his hand.

Jordan, who was working with her, glanced over while wagging his hand. Alex skipped over, and they tucked behind the espresso machine, out of view from the trio.

“What just happened?” he whispered with a wild smile.

“He asked me out,” Alex breathed and covered her mouth.

“So you said yes, right? He’s like chocolate-covered yummy. Toothache sweet. And was that your number you gave him?” Jordan questioned in a low tone.

Alex bounced her head with a snort. “Jordan, I was so not me,” she giggled quietly.

Jordan stood and started to vogue with a beat. “Oh, yeah, that’s right, that’s my girl,” he voiced and yanked her up. “Come on, let’s go,” he snorted.

Alex groaned but started to vogue and laughed as they made faces. “You’re ridiculous,” she laughed.

“Yes, quite.”

Oh. Alex paused and spun around to see Lucifer standing at the counter. “Oh, hello, Lucifer.”

“What type of manic state were you expressing?” He questioned.

Jordan walked up to the glass and smiled. “We were doing our ‘get happy girl’ dance.”

Lucifer arched an eyebrow. “That seizer replication isn’t dancing.”

Alex twitched her nose at the dark roast timer and shook her head. “Lucifer, it’s going to be two minutes on fresh. This is too old to serve you with how sensitive your pallet is.”

He smirked and waved. “I have time.”

“So, doing anything special tonight, Lucifer? Seeing anyone special? Doing anything with someone?” Jordan asked.

Lucifer glared at him with a pointed incredulous expression. “Special? Jordan, what have my brothers been saying to you?”

Jordan raised his eyebrows. “Well, nothing. I was just asking.”

Alex put the brewer up and flicked it on before turning around with a smile. Lucifer eyed her and then wagged his index finger. “You. You know.”

Her cheeks were burning, but she walked toward the counter. “N-no.” Nice. Brilliant. Sound more like a frightened child.

Lucifer’s grin became wicked as he leaned forward. “Tell me.”

Her face was melting as she stared up into brilliant sanguine eyes. “It, well, I only heard in passing, it’s not,” she stopped dead when he touched her cheek.

“Don’t babble, darling. Just tell me,” he smirked.

“Well, I saw a picture of you and Diavolo,” she murmured.

His nose scrunched, and his fingers slithered away from her cheek. “Which of them was it? I was positive I destroyed all digital evidence of that party,” he huffed.

Alex looked down at the counter. Anywhere but his eyes.

“I’m not upset with you. My brothers, however, have been plugging this annoying concept for years since that party. Diavolo and I were drinking, a rarity and Mammon shoved Diavolo into me just as Asmodeus was taking the picture. Diavolo was attempting what Asmodeus called a duck face. I was positive I cleared out everyone’s phone, so Diavolo’s reputation wasn’t at risk, but it seems someone kept it,” Lucifer explained while shaking his head.

Alex blinked and glanced back at him. “You two?”

“Never,” Lucifer spat.

Alex covered her mouth and shook her head.

Jordan snorted. “Wow, your brothers sure love to hassle you, don’t they?”

Lucifer shook his head. “It’s unfathomable how they have so much time for it.”

“Seems Alex was under the impression you were,” Jordan noted.

Alex pivoted and began pouring the coffee. Dammit. She still was going to have to face him. Turning around, he was smiling, and his posture read, alpha man, baby.

“Were you upset at my brothers’ lies?” He asked.

She shook her head and plastered on a smile. “It was just surprising. I wouldn’t have guessed it.”

“Well, now you don’t have to. I’m single, very much available, and diligent at any role I take on,” he smirked and handed her his credit card.

Alex was so glad she was able to keep her smile as her heart was racing like a pack of marathon runners. She swiped it and handed it back. “You do appear to be quite diligent.”

Another form approached the counter, and Alex broke her vision of Lucifer. Simeon leaned and smiled. “We’re going now, Alex. It was lovely to see you this evening.”

“Simeon, I see you brought Michael and Raphael with you,” Lucifer noted as he glanced back at the mentors walking out of the cafe.

Simeon beamed and nodded. “We’re headed to the hills to watch the meteor shower.”

Lucifer rocked his head. “Have a good night.”

“You too. Alex, I will text you tomorrow,” he declared and waved.

Alex smiled and waved. “Okay, Simeon, have a wonderful evening.”

Lucifer scowled and watched Simeon leave. “You’re now texting him?”

Oh… yeah, that’s right. Alex rocked her head. “Yes.”

“They have a date this week,” Jordan pipped with a smile.

“Date?” Lucifer questioned.

Alex felt the size of a flea with how much presence Lucifer had. It wasn’t even that he displayed outward displeasure. No, it was definitely what radiated off of him as he stood straighter and his chest bolstered to pronounced masculinity.

“Yes, he just asked her before you walked inside,” Jordan laughed. By the way, he likely wasn’t going to make it through this shift. Alex was going to murder him. “I guess it makes sense. She thought you were unavailable,” Jordan shrugged. Dead. He was going to die from suffocation on the coffee grounds.

“Well, I’m clearly available. Have a good evening, Jordan. Alex, we’ll talk when you get home,” Lucifer declared and left a tip in the jar before strolling out of the cafe with the same presence he held at the counter.

“I’m going to kill you,” Alex growled and glared at Jordan.

She smacked his arm, and he pouted. “I was only doing what you haven’t done in months, honey.”

“I live with him now, you, numbskull,” she hissed and smacked his arm again.

Jordan laughed and blocked a few more of her blows. “Come on, don’t be so angry. It isn’t like a date is a commitment. I just wanted to see if he’d get jealous.”

“By the slam of his car door, I think he was,” Solomon laughed and peaked over the counter. “You alright, Alex?”

“Look away, Solomon, I don’t want you an accessory to his murder!” She snarled and hit Jordan one more time.

“Don’t murder my darling J Getlow.”

Alex exhaled and turned fully to see Asmodeus and Solomon standing together. Jordan scowled and dropped his smile altogether. Alex knew a good payback when she saw one. She skipped up to the counter with a bright smile. “Well, hello, you two, are you on a date?”

Solomon arched his eyebrow, but Asmo squealed. “Oh, it could be! We were just going to try this new fro-yo place down the street, and Solomon heard you were working.”

She eyed Solomon with a subtle nod. Click. He got it. “Oh, yes, I had to have an eclectic appetite tonight,” he chuckled.

Jordan was leaning on the glass with a deep-set frown. “Wait, Asmo, you said you were going to be busy when I got off tonight. Is that because you’re with Solomon?”

“Yes,” Solomon smirked at him. “Is there a problem?”

Asmo tilted his head but shrugged. “I guess not.”

Jordan pulled from the glass and began cleaning the machines.

“Doesn’t feel good, does it?” Alex asked.

Jordan glared over at her. “Bitch,” he said in a whisper.

“Now, what are you both really doing tonight?” Alex smiled.

“The frozen yogurt, which I despise. However, Asmodeus was on a mission to convince me to help tomorrow. He says that you have some very private information in your father’s study and need help sorting it,” Solomon explained.

Alex pouted and put her two hands together in a heart shape. “Asmo, you just made my heart go boom. That’s so sweet that you would take time away on your Friday for me.”

“Please stop,” Solomon puffed and waved his hand. “That’s too adorable, and I can’t bear it.”

Alex laughed and leaned over the POS screen at the pair. “Seriously, I need to do something nice for both of you.”

“Get drunk tomorrow. House party. Your homecoming!” Asmo cheered.

Alex groaned and shook her head. “I doubt Lucifer would agree to any of that.”

“After the very flustered retreat, I might estimate your correctness,” Solomon chuckled.

“What happened?” Asmo questioned.

“Well, hunty,” Jordan walked up and clamped his hand on Alex’s mouth. “Simeon asked Alex out before Lucifer got here. Before that revelation, I made him pry out of her that she thought he was with someone else, which is why she hasn’t been answering his texts with little happy faces like usual. So, he just now realized she was into him, and now she’s going on a date with Simeon.”

Alex shoved him and groaned. “You’re a wicked, wicked queen.”

“It’s truly a shame one of our rules is no dating, said 'girl' in the house,” Asmo laughed and shook his head.

Solomon smiled and waved his hand. “How is it that you always seem to find the predicament of always too much but never enough.”

“I don’t know, Sol,” Alex groaned.

“Drinks tomorrow, at your old home to send off your last day actually living there,” Solomon smirked.

“That doesn’t sound like that came with a please,” Alex snorted.

“It wasn’t a request,” Solomon shook his head.

“Fine, but you’re bringing the booze, and I’m not responsible for your ride home,” Alex said.

Solomon nodded. “I have exquisite wine. You’ll enjoy it.”

“We will?” Asmo asked.

Jordan nodded.

“Fine,” Solomon chuckled. “Yes.”

Alex reached over and ruffled his hair. “You’re just a big softy under all that analysis and formulas.”

Solomon puffed and pushed her handoff. “Yes, alright. Don’t patronize my kindness.”

“What am I getting you both?” Alex beamed. Solomon rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced up at the menu. “Decaf americano, two pumps with half and half,” Alex said.

Solomon laughed and nodded. “Actually, yes, that would be appropriate.”

“Multitude of gestures, Solomon,” Alex smiled.

“It’s actually freaky that you can do that, Alex,” Asmo gasped.

“I can remember everyone’s orders, but I have to label where to put my keys. Don’t even know why,” Alex laughed and turned to grab a cup. “Decaf skinny iced vanilla with a sugar-free caramel pump, Asmo?”

Asmo clapped. “You took my evening order once, Alex! That’s so impressive! Oh, I just want to bathe you in aromatherapy and take you to bed.”

“Let’s not go that far,” Jordan glared at him.

Asmo pouted. “Fine.”

Solomon paid, and Alex smirked at the pensive man. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, I was just thinking. There might be an opening in the company for public relations. I could put in a stellar word for you. It’s all research and pharmaceuticals, but you have a delightful personality, and you’re degreed.”

“Solomon, that would be awesome if you would do that for me,” Alex gasped.

He smiled and rocked his head. “Okay, I will. I’ll text you my email, and you send your resume to me.”

Jordan brought over their drinks, and Asmo left a hefty tip before blowing him a kiss. “Come over later?”

Jordan arched an eyebrow. “You’re not going to be busy?”

Asmo snorted and giggled. “No, silly, come on over. I want to have a pamper session,” he winked and sipped his drink.

Alex tried so hard to hide her blush. Wow, these two men. It’s like they were made to outdo each other.

“If you put your phone away during, then yes,” Jordan smirked.

“Fine,” Asmo pouted. “See you when you get off so I can,” Asmo laughed and flitted out the door.

“Strange creature,” Solomon chuckled.

“Says you, Doctor X,” Alex sneered.

Solomon laughed and waved. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Alex.”

Jordan sighed when he left and patted her shoulder. “Guess I’m getting laid tonight. Now we need to work on you.”

Alex yanked herself away and waved a hand. “Stop that. Nope. Not doing it. We’re not having that type of discussion after the man I’m going to live with said he’s going to suck your straw.”

Jordan laughed and skipped over. “Babe, come on.”

“Time to prepare to close, boss,” she sneered at him.

Jordan grinned and winked. “We’ll work on it,” he whispered and got to work.

Alex exhaled and shook her head, but a smile crept on her lips. It was really nice to see Jordan happy. However, the thought of closing came with another issue. What the fuck did Lucifer want to talk about. The thought made her queasy.

#om! fanfic #obey me fanfiction #obey me fandom #obey me fluff #obey me humor #obey me au #om! lucifer #om! mammon #om! leviathan #om! satan #om! asmodeus #om! beelzebub #om! belphegor #om! solomon #om! luke #om! simeon #om! diavolo #om! barbatos #om! brothers #coffee shop au

[ourloveisforthelovely]

To the Ends of the Earth 8

Supernatural 

Warnings: OOC Gabriel

Story Summary:  AU Supernatural. Gabriel is tired of Micahel and Raphael’s constant interfering and dictating what’s best for him. Little do they know that he’s been sneaking to earth to fall in love with you. When he convinces you to run away with him, all hell is about to break loose.

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

______

3 weeks and counting...That is how long it had been since Ketch returned with Gabriel. You had made no progress in getting him back to “normal” either. It was making you nutty! You had spent countless hours pouring over books and on the computer looking for anything that could be useful. Apparently, an archangel with amnesia wasn’t too normal.

You rolled your eyes at that thought as you closed the book in front of you. This had to be the millionth book that you read hoping to find something on fixing broken archangels.

“So much for that.”

You grumbled before putting your hands on your head to massage your temples. 

“Find anything?”

You looked up as Dean walked in with a steaming up of hot tea. 

“Not a damn thing. This is useless, Dean. I am not going to find anything. I am stuck with a damaged archangel that I don’t know how to fix. Thanks for the drink...I need it.”

Dean frowned.

“This is mine.” 

You gave your brother a scowl as he shrugged and pushed the cup across the table to you.

“I guess you need it more than me. We’ll figure something out, Y/n. Just keep talking to him or something.” 

You glanced over your shoulder at Gabriel. He sat on the couch looking around the room as if he had never been there before. To you, he looked blissfully numb to everyone and everything around him. 

Maybe Dean was right after all? You had at least got Gabriel to stop freaking out whenever you got within two feet of him. Now he had taken to following you around like a puppy. Gabriel still didn’t like to be touched but as long as he was in the same room as you he was happy. Did he know who you were to him? You didn’t think so but he did seem to realize that you were something. 

“He may not know who you are but he seems to recognize you. The poor guy doesn’t want to let you out of his sight. Whatever Raphael and Michael did to him at least didn’t leave him a  drooling mess.”

Cas said after Gabriel began to panic when he realized that you had left a room at one point. Gabriel quickly resumed his motionless sitting when he realized that you hadn’t gotten too far from him. Part of you hoped that in some file in Gabriel’s mind he realized that you were his soulmate. 

After that episode, it was agreed that wherever you went Gabriel had to go. Sam and Dean didn’t want to deal with his panicking when you weren’t in eyeshot of him. 

You returned your mind back to the conversation with Dean. 

“Talking isn’t doing a whole hell of a lot.” 

Dean gave you his best understanding expression.

“I know. I also know that you are exhausted.” 

You nodded, rubbing your hands over your face. 

“Exhausted is putting what I am feeling lightly! I want to get out of here and go on a hunt so bad. Does that make me sound like an awful person? Gabriel is sitting over there in his own happy little lost world and I want to get away from him. Some soulmate I am.”

Dean was silent for a moment as he looked at you intently. He glanced over his shoulder again at Gabriel. The archangel’s amber eyes were on him with a deadpan stare. Dean frowned and turned his attention back to you. It was a good thing that Gabriel’s grace was depleted. If he was at full power and Gabriel knew how to use it then Dean may be in trouble. 

“No, it makes you sound like a reasonable human if you ask me. Y/n, you have been caring for him all day every day since this shit started. You have hung in there and haven’t quit. You have done a lot better with Gabriel then you did that hamster you had.” 

You frowned.

“My hamster? You said it disappeared.” 

Dean immediately turned bright red and began to back peddle. 

“Son of a bitch! It actually died. I had Sam put it in a shoebox and take it off somewhere so you wouldn’t know. It was right after your mom and Adam died. I didn’t have the heart to tell you.” 

You smiled and reached out to pat Dean’s shoulder. 

“You big softy!. Good thing that Gabriel isn’t a hamster.” 

Dean chuckled.

“Don’t think that we could find a shoebox that big.”

You smiled and looked back down to the book in front of you. The lighthearted feeling seemed to vanish as you thought about Gabriel some more. You snuck a glance at your lover. He sat giving you the poutiest expression ever. 

Your heart ached to look at him. Nothing about him was familiar at the moment. Everything seemed different. You would give anything to have your Gabriel back Hell, you would even be satisfied with Gabriel the way that he was when you first met him. He didn’t know a damn thing about humans and was clueless to your feelings...but at least he knew who you were. 

“Dean, I understand how you felt when Cas was killed now. I am so that Sam and I were so insensitive.”

Dean took a breath. 

“Y/n, you don’t have to apologize for shit. We are going to figure Gabriel out. As much as I don’t like the thought of you dating anyone...I see how much he means to you.” 

You nodded. 

“I don’t think that I would be this serious about getting him back to normal if I didn’t love him. I think that I am going to go get ready for bed.” 

Dean nodded and got up to go find a beer. Tonight was a good night for a drink! 

You, meanwhile, stood and stretched. It had been a long time since you had gotten up and was feeling tenser than ever. Relief washed over you as you walked over to Gabriel. He looked up as you smiled gently. 

“Want to come lay down with me?”

It was a stupid question. Gabriel would have gone with you anywhere. You considered giving him talk on “personal space” but it seemed almost irrelevant. He would forget what you said to him in a matter of hours and be right back at your heels like a clingy toddler.  

Gabriel slowly stood and looked down at you with a child-like expression. You ran a hand through your messy hair. 

“Are you sure that you don’t remember anything about me?”

You asked timidly. Gabriel looked at you with a sad frown before looking down at his feet. You sighed before reaching out to touch his arm. Gabriel immediately stepped back and gave you the biggest go to hell look imaginable. You groaned. What were you thinking? You knew better than to touch him but you couldn’t help it! How were you supposed to tell Gabriel that you missed the feeling of his skin on yours? You missed that coky little shit-eating grin that he would give you after making love. You missed everything about him!

“Sorry! I forgot touching was on your terms. Boy would crap yourself if you saw all of the touching that we were doing a few weeks ago.” 

Gabriel shrugged innocently. You turned and motioned for him to follow you. Walking down the hall, you fought the urge to make a comment about Gabriel being like an indecisive cat. It wouldn’t do you any good to say anything snooty to him. He wouldn’t get it anyway.  

Walking into your room, you looked over your shoulder at Gabriel. He was looking at you awkwardly. Before all of this stupidity happened, you had been used to Gabriel’s awkward silences now it was different. You would give anything to have Gabriel chattering about some random subject. Hell, you would even be happy to listen to him in “archangel” mode. 

You flopped down on your bed and stared at the ceiling. After a few moments, you focused your attention back to Gabriel. The archangel sat with his knees gathered up to his chest. You sighed at the lost vacant expression on his face.  

“Gabe, I really miss you.” 

Half an hour later you had dozed off. A knock at the door jarred you from your peaceful sleep. You grumbled as you swung your legs over the edge of the bed. Sam and Dean knew better than to wake you up like this. If you didn’t at least get three good hours you could be a real bitch to deal with.

You opened the door to see Dean on the other side. He looked as wiped out as you felt. 

“Dean, we just saw each other not long ago. Have you missed me already?”

Dean rolled his eyes.  

“I didn’t miss you enough to wake your haughty ass up. I have something that you need to see in the Dean cave. You may want to leave your lapdog here.” 

You didn’t have to look at Gabriel to know who Dean was referring to. 

“Gabe, I’ll be right back.” 

You mumbled. Part of you didn’t have the heart to look back to Gabriel’s lost eyes. 

“This better be good.”

You grumbled and followed Dean down the hallway. Dean led you into his “Dean Cave.” When your older brother moved out of the way; your mouth dropped. 

In front of you stood Adam….

_______

@brokencasbutt67-writer, @tas898, @supernaturalways, @authoressskr, @shaylybaby2032, @summer-novak, @emiwrites3reads, @li0nh34rt, @untoldshortsofthefandoms, @mycuddlycorner, @wontlookaway, @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts, @deanwherescas, @stuckinsaudi1, @hankypranky, @sprnaturallover, @marichromatic, @fandom-trash-worth-it, @shitfaceddaniel

#Supernatural #Gabriel #Gabriel x Reader #Reader x Gabriel #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #SPN #supernatural reader insert #spn reader insert #Cas #Castiel #Jack Kline #Gabriel fan fic #au gabriel #au!gabriel x reader #Dean x Cas #Cas x Dean #Michael #Raphael #To the Ends of the Earth #To the Ends of the Earth story

[wanderingalicewrites]

The Truth Remains - Chapter 11

On Thursday morning, Crowley takes a walk. It’s early, far earlier than he would usually like to be awake, but he hasn’t been able to sleep since Monday and he’s not entirely sure when or if he’ll ever be able to again. He has two days to find the Antichrist, if he wants to save the world. And he has no idea where to even start. So when the dawn light starts to filter through his windows and he still can’t think of a single plan, he gets up and heads to the park. There, he lets his feet guide him down familiar paths, the usual route for his preoccupied wanderings. This early, there’s no one around but the occasional jogger, and it’s comforting to pace down the quiet green pathways. Songbirds call to each other in the trees above him, falling silent as he passes by and then starting up again when his demonic aura is gone from their primitive senses. Squirrels chitter in their nets, calling a warning to each other when they sense his approach. Danger. Predator. Snake. Only the corvids call out to him in welcome, but then they’ve always been his favorite sort of birds. He loves their penchant for mischief and their wild sort of intelligence. They make excellent partners in crime, and he prefers to work with them above even rats and serpents when the nature of his demonic wiles allows.

 Now, a crow drops down from the trees to hop beside him for a few paces, eyeing him with curiosity.

 “Hullo,” he tells it. Might as well be polite.

 Danger, it caws at him, a warning. Predators by the water.

 Crowley frowns. Predators by the water… demons? Or angels? That’s the only kind of ‘danger’ a crow would warn him of. Anything else and the mischievous things would have lured him over to get rid of it for them.

 “Thanks,” he tells the crow. It caws a farewell and takes off, back to its nest. Crowley considers just turning around and going back to his flat, but it’s not like he has anything else to do right now. Or, at least, not like he was making any progress at all on the one thing he needed to be doing. So instead he takes a smaller version of his serpent form and glides through the grass until he can taste the scent of angel in the air.

 He feels them before he sees them, the tattered remains of his bond to them screaming in the silence. Two of his siblings, the raw edges of his connection to them burning him from inside. He follows the pain, and there they are. Gabriel and Sandalphon.

 If you had asked Raphael if he had a favorite sibling, he would have shrugged and told you not to be daft - he loved them all equally. And this was true.

 He loved Lucifer’s poise and strength, the way his elder brother could walk into a room and immediately all eyes were on him. He loved his dramatics too, the way everything about him was just a little bit too much. He felt cared for, by Lucifer, the brother that answered all of his questions, no matter how silly - or how dangerous. He loved how he could make Lucifer laugh at the littlest thing, even if sometimes he feared the cruelty he could sometimes see hidden behind his brother’s eyes.

 He adored Michael. He was her confidante, the one she told her secret worries and hopes alike. He admired her bravery, the way she could face down even the most horrifying disaster with a calm eye and a steady hand. And he loved the deepest heart of her, the places where the steel in her soul didn’t quite reach - the parts of her that worried about whether or not she was doing the right thing. He wished he had her resolve, her ability to see things through no matter how much she worried about doing it.

 Gabriel, he loved for his energy, his relentless positivity and good cheer. He loved how his little brother never seemed to be without a smile. How eager he was to learn, to see, to do all that there was in the universe. He cherished Gabriel’s enthusiasm, the way he threw himself into any task with single-minded abandon. How he could focus so entirely on one thing that all else got blocked out.

 Uriel was the sister of his heart, with her quick wit and quicker tongue. They sung together in the place that stars were born, matching wits in verbal sparring matches that rang across the Heavens. Uriel was so very like him, in so very many ways, but she was steadier than he, calmer. Where he wondered, she knew. Where he asked, she had answers. And he’d loved her for her certainty, even when he knew those answers were incomplete. He loved her laugh, and her smile. With Uriel, he wanted to protect that joy, because every time she expressed it, it felt like something precious.

 And then there was Sandalphon. Where Uriel complimented him, Sandalphon was his mirror image. Where Raphael loved, Sandalphon hated. Where he healed, Sandalphon destroyed. The one thing they had in common was an endless desire for approval, to know that they were doing a good job. That they were loved, and appreciated. Raising Sandalphon had been a challenge, but Raphael had loved him even as he struggled to find common ground with his youngest sibling. He’d loved his tenacity, the way he refused to give up on anything. And he’d loved how committed Sandalphon was to keeping his family safe, how he practiced for hours with Michael until he could wield a sword almost as well as she.

 So no, Raphael did not have a favorite sibling. And Crowley doesn’t either, for all he hasn’t spoken to them in six thousand years. He loves them all, even as their actions make him furious and terrified all at once. He wants to hate them. It would be so much easier if he could hate them. But he can’t. He looks at them now, and sees the little brothers he raised. The eyes that looked to him for guidance, hands he held in his own a thousand times. He remembers taking them into the universe and pointing out his stars. Games of tag played across planetary systems. Arguments that shook the earth, and songs that filled the heavens. He remembers Sandalphon’s grip on his arm, the fear in his eyes, the first time they witnessed a supernova up close. Gabriel’s fingers squeezing his as he fought the pain of a broken wing, his grip easing as Raphael filled him with healing energy and love.

 But these two angels aren’t fledglings anymore. They’ve grown cold. Aloof. They hold themselves apart from Her creations and think it good. Crowley doesn’t understand the impassive wall of Gabriel’s face, the appearance of good cheer that melts into something solid and ugly the moment he thinks no one is looking. And he fears the clear and ever-present anger that radiates from Sandalphon, a feeling more at home around a demon than an archangel. He wonders if there’s anything that either of them loves, anymore. The thought is enough to send an echo screaming through the void, letting it tear at the raw and bleeding parts of the demon. It doesn’t stop him from trying to get closer, trying to see just what they’re doing here, now, so close to the end of everything.

Read the rest on AO3

#Ineffable Husbands #aziraphale/crowley #crowley was raphael #my fic

[cy-fi-theansweris42]

Originally inspired by this amazing artwork by @donitkitt and then re-inspired by one of @teetlebros‘s angst prompts. (I had been working on it and then just stopped because I was busy with school, and then the prompt made me want to work on it again and here we are, lol)

Trigger warnings for implied/referenced self-harm and depression.

Leonardo knew from the moment he woke up that it was going to be a shit day, a sadly familiar weight on his plastron making it ache. He knew what it meant, had gone through this too many times to be ignorant of what was going on.

He was in the beginnings of another depressive episode. Wonderful.

Leo got out of bed, not bothering to change from his comfortable pajamas to his regular gear. Right now, it felt like an almost impossible effort just to stand, getting changed wasn’t going to happen. Not right now at least.

He walked out of his room and into the main atrium, eyes on the ground and avoiding his brothers who were gathered there, laughing about something until they noticed him. He mumbled a soft “morning”, trying to break the silence that fell when they looked at him, at his attire and low-energy attitude, and put two and two together.

“Leo.” Raph called out when he started to walk away, waiting for the younger turtle to stop and look at him before continuing. “Movie day?”

Leo nodded. There was an agreed upon script for how days when these episodes started went down; Leo, if he found the motivation to even leave his room, would let one of them know it was a Bad Day. They would get the others, and then they would all spend the rest of the day watching Lou Jitsu movies together. It didn’t always help and had them all looking for other ideas went it didn’t, but it was better than Leonardo being alone and using…other methods to deal with it.

“Alright.” Raphael nodded, squeezing Leo’s shoulder reassuringly and softly smiling as he walked by. “I’ll go tell Pops and get the movies set up.”

“I’ll grab snacks.” Mikey jumped up, eager to do something to help, giving Leo a tight hug on his way to the kitchen.

That just left…

“Do I need to hide your old katanas?” Donnie asked, not beating around any bush, not sugar-coating it, jumping straight to the problem that needed his attention.

Leo’s heart went cold at the question, shame and fear rushing through him as he realized what his twin was really asking.

“Do you feeling like hurting yourself right now?”

And he did, feeling the familiar choking embrace of self-hatred beginning to curl around his lungs as he watched his brothers drop everything they were doing just for him. Just because his brain was messed up and didn’t make the right chemicals. Just because he literally couldn’t be happy right now. Just because he was so messed up.

Leo nodded, head dropping and squeezing his arms so much harder than necessary as he hugged himself.

For a moment, there was silence.

Then, with only slight hesitation, Donatello’s arms wrapped around him, holding him tight.

“It’s not your fault, don’t hate yourself for something you can’t help.” Donnie consoled, his voice quiet but steady.

“You know I could say the same to you, right?” Leo replied, trying to make his voice joking and light to hide how it wavered and shook. They all knew Leonardo wasn’t the only one who’s brain would turn against themselves, who’s insecurities would scream for attention and drag them down into darker corners of their minds.

“This isn’t about me right now, you’re the one struggling today.” A slight pause, a search for words that would help with no chance of hurting instead. “You know I’m here for you, right? That we all are?”

Leonardo froze, his arms that had been starting to unwrap from around himself to return his twin’s hug halting in the air. He felt himself begin to shake.

“I’m proud of you; you may be an absolute pain in the neck at times, but you’re talented and so, so important to all of us and we need you Leo, we need you like we need oxygen to breathe.”

“Don…” There was no hiding the tremor in his voice now, or the sob that quickly followed, or the tears that began to pour and had him clinging to his brother like a drowning man to a lifeboat.

Neither of them could tell how long they stood there for, Leo gasping for breath as he did his best to stay afloat in the whirlpool of emotions that threatened to drag him under, and Donatello holding him just as tight to show Leo that he was not alone and in fear of what would happen if Leo was left to his own devices. He’d seen what had happened before when Leo was drowning in his depression, memories of blood and tears that ran together and screeched rage-and-pain-fueled words bubbling unwanted to the surface.

There was a reason why Leonardo kept his forearms covered almost constantly.

Eventually, the tears slowed, the shaking stopped, and the short gasping breaths extended into healthier ones.

“Better?” Donnie whispered, moving back just enough to see his twin’s tear-streaked face.

“Yeah.” Leo croaked, a shaky grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes revealing that while the impromptu breakdown might have helped alleviate some of the weight dragging him into the darkness, this was still far from over.

“They’ve probably got the first movie ready, let’s go before Michael eats all the popcorn.” Donatello gently tugged Leonardo in the direction of the living room, one arm staying draped over his brother’s shoulders, keeping him close.

“Have you seen Raph eat, it’s him that we have to worry about.” Leo joked in response, trying to focus on the reassuring weight of Donnie’s arm and how he was going to spend time with his family, instead of the thoughts that were still screaming for his attention and the itch in his wrists.

Together they entered the living room, Splinter giving them a knowing look with barely concealed concern and fear, before launching into a mini-speech about how it was time for another movie marathon and how he had the absolute best of the Lou Jitsu movies for them to watch today. Leonardo buried himself under blankets between Raphael and Michelangelo, careful of the bowls of snacks surrounding the pile of blankets and his brothers, while Splinter’s comfortingly familiar voice droned on, trying to ignore the guilt that rose up when Donatello temporarily left the room, no doubt acting on what Leo had told him about the broken katanas.

The movie began, title card showing and cheesy action music playing. Donnie came back in, task no doubt successful, and the turtles carefully rearranged themselves to make room for him. Now Leo was leaning back against Raph’s plastron, Donnie slouched against him on his right, Mikey resting against his left side, and a bowl of popcorn on his lap. Surrounded by his family, by their clear and unconditional love and affection for him, things weren’t fixed, weren’t magically made better, but his personal demons were a little easier to ignore.

For now, at least, he could forget them. Right now, he wasn’t suffocating in darkness.

Right now, there was a small glimmer of light.

#TMNT #Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #RotTMNT #TMNT Leonardo #TMNT Leo #TMNT Raphael #TMNT Raph #TMNT Donatello #TMNT Donnie #TMNT Michelangelo #TMNT Mikey #TMNT Splinter #TMNT Fanfic #TMNT Fanfiction #tw: depression #tw: self-harm #My writing

[michaelreaderreblog]

Then there was me pt4 (final)

To catch up just click these links ONE , TWO , THREE

**********************************************************************

Word Count: 2,127

You couldnt take it anymore but you needed a few more days because you still couldnt find the spell that you needed.

All through the times you have spent time in the vault, sorting and placing everything back. You couldnt find what you are looking but knew it had to be there, you werent giving up and you were going to keep searching until you have that spell in your hands.

You searched for days and days. Never giving up until you found what you are looking for. The other angels basically minded their own business as they came by for old testaments. Scriptures and spells.

They never questioned anything when they returned everything.

Until you finally found what you are looking.

You jumped for joy while everyone else gives you an odd expression which didnt phase you out what so ever.

You looked for the spell within the book and finally you see the ingredients you needed.

“Oh this is easy, I can find all these things here” you say to yourself

“Whats so easy to get here?” Gabriel asks as he looks to you.

“How long have you been standing there?” you ask as you flinched

“For as long as you jumped for joy” he says without you realizing he has been standing the whole entire time

“What can I help you with Gabriel?” you ask while walking towards him

“Michael asked me to check on you and how you are doing?” he says while smiling to you.

“Why? I am fine here” you lie to him and you knew he can see right threw you.

“Because its his job to check on everyone and making sure they are busy with their duties. You know how he is” he replies

“Well I am fine” is all you say while waiting for him to say something or just leave you be.

“Ok, well I am off to check on Michael’s favourite person in the world” he says as he rolls his eyes

You knew who he was talking about and chuckled a bit. His next task is to check on Ambriel.

She makes sure that every soul goes right into their own heaven and make sure no one enters.

Finally when he is out of sight is when you started to roam the rest of heaven to get the things you needed for the spell. Thankfully it is easy to access them all, no one questioned anything and that was a good thing.

You just wish they cared a little bit to know what you are up to or even ask how you are doing. Or just notice you all together.

After Gabriel was done checking on everyone to make sure they were fulfilling their duties. He went back to Michael’s side.

“Gabriel, how is everything?” Michael asks while taking his eyes away from a book he is reading

“Everything is running the way it should” he replies while smiling to his brother.

“How is y/n doing?” Michael asks while a smile forms

“Well she is doing fine and seems off” he replies while looking away from him

“Off? As in?” Michael asks with worry in his voice

“She seems to be up to something but wont say or anything. Its as though she is keeping something from me” Gabriel says while trying to read the some what grace you had but he couldnt.

“What was she doing when you went to check on her?” he asks giving his brother all of his attention

“Well when I got there, she was jumping for joy. Like she was happy about her findings or something” he replies while trying to figure out what you had in your hands

“Did you see what she was happy about?” Michael asks while being curious about your sudden happiness

“No I didnt and figured she would tell me. She didnt and continued to fulfill her duties” Gabriel replies looking to Michael

While Michael and Gabriel begin to winder what has you in a good mood. You have everything that you need and begin planning an escape from Heaven.

“Soon, very soon” you whisper to yourself as other angels go about their duties

You wish they would care just a little bit and tell you not to do anything and just stay in Heaven where you belong. But nothing. As always nothing.

Finally the time has come and you begin going about unnoticed. You dodge Michael and Gabriel.

You teleport yourself to earth, some where you havent been in a very long time. As you roam around the town, it didnt seem fit to rip your grace from you. For all you knew it would cause such chaos, a bright light and knew the people would be frightened. It would also alarm other angels as well.

You wandered outside of town and saw an abandoned barn. You knew it would be the perfect place, since there are no other people living around the area and wouldnt tip off anyone. Not even the angels.

In Heaven Michael roamed around looking for you and asked the other angels if they saw you. Which of course none of them ever noticed you or even knew you existed.

“Where can she be?” Michael asks himself while looking to the spell vault

He waited and waited until you returned. But you were no where in sight. No where

Michael begin to worry.

“Gabriel have you seen y/n?” Michael asks as he sees Gabriel

“No I have not seen her at all” he replies while standing next to his brother.

Once you got yourself settled into the barn is when you begin to mix your ingredients to rip your grace from yourself.

Finally you recite the spell and you begin to feel agony.

From Heaven there seems to be a little disturbance.

Michael and Gabriel look to each other wondering what that might be. They rush over to the gates to make sure its not being breached.

“No one is breaching the gates” Michael says while looking over the perimeter of the gates

“Since no one is breaching the gates then what was that?” Gabriel asks looking to Michael.

Suddenly Raphael makes his way to the gates where Michael and Gabriel are. He knew what was going on and needed to tell Michael right away.

“Michael, something has happened with y/n” Raphael says while he reaches his brothers

“Where is she? Is she hurt?” Michael asks rapidly

“Y/n has ripped her grace from within herself. Why Heaven quaked like that, there is no breach” he replies while looking wide eyed to Michael

Once you finally ripped your grace is when you destroyed it, once and for all.

After you destroyed your grace is when Michael began to feel pain, loneliness and its something that he didnt want to feel.

Raphael and Gabriel see what the quake has done to their brother. Gabriel began to go frantic while Raphael remains calm.

He needed to tell Michael now before his grace deteriorates.

“Raphael we better tell him now” Gabriel says while helping his brother.

“Tell me what?” Michael asks looking between Gabriel and Raphael

“When Father created y/n, he mixed in a little bit of your grace with hers. Later he told me when the time was right, the both of you know and finally be bonded to each other” Raphael says while looking to Michael.

“You mean to tell me that y/n is my true mate?” he asks in disbelief

“Yes, he made her specifically for you. Why she is special” Raphael replies while looking to Michael.

“Must look for y/n and bring her home” Michael gives the orders

Gabriel begins to tell all of Heaven of the news thats been told and to search for you and bring you home immediately.

Ambriel is heart broken that she isnt Michael’s true mate

Once your grace is completely gone, you begin to feel more lonelier than ever. The pain from the loneliness begins to set in and you didnt like the feeling.

To end it all, you see a sharp object from the corner of your eye and grab it. You slit your wrists, blood begin to seep out and flowing fast. You begin to feel weak from it all and finally with one last breathe. You were gone. A lifeless form lays on the ground, surrounded by nothing but nature.

Gabriel and Balthazar track your last known grace where abouts to a small town and lead them to the barn.

“Do you think she is here?” Balthazar asks looking to Gabriel

Gabriel takes a step forward and begins walking into the barn

Balthazar isnt far behind.

As they both enter is when they begin searching for you.

Its when Balthazar sees your lifeless form on the ground

“Gabriel” is all he says

He lowers himself to the ground and places his hand on your body. He feels nothing.

No grace

No soul

Nothing

He begins to weep

Gabriel sees Balthazar on the ground and sees him weeping. He finally takes a closer look and he sees what he is weeping about.

Gabriel feels heart broken, he feels he should have sensed it from the beginning and it finally hit him, Why you were jumping for joy, you found the spell that ripped your grace from within yourself.

“Balthazar we need to bring her home and collect as much ash as you can” Gabriel says while looking around more and realizing what you have done

“How are we going to bring her back?” Balthazar asks wiping away his tears

“We arent but Michael can” is all Gabriel says

Gabriel lifts your lifeless form bridal style while Balthazar has the ashes from your grace

He sees your wings are withered but has a large form and how beautiful they are. Withered or not they were still beautiful to him.

Gabriel enters Heaven first, you in arms while Balthazar isnt far behind.

All the angels are lined, silence lingers as Gabriel carries your form.

Balthazar carries your ashes

Michael sees his brothers carrying the remains of his beloved mate. He weeps as well.

“No, no, no” he weeps and finally he wails

He feels every pain you have suffered over eons

He feels everything

He sees everything

Gabriel places you on the table while Balthazar places your ashes beside you.

“Now what do I do?” Michael asks as he looks onto your lifeless form and ash

“Combine your grace with hers, open the jar and place your grace in” Raphael replies while holding the jar in his hands and giving it to Michael.

Michael does as he is told, he opens his mouth while his grace enters the jar and is astonished to see the combination.

His grace and yours mixed together becomes brighter while everyone else covers their eyes and are amazed to the combinations.

Finally when the grace is bonded together, it unifies in various colours. Michael has a smile on his face and is extremely happy.

He places the bonded grace into your lifeless form, once its unified with you is when everyone else waits for you to wake.

A few moments pass and you are back to life.

“No, no, no, NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” you rise quickly while looking around.

You get up and begin attacking Michael for bringing you back but something feels different.

Gabriel tells everyone else to stay back while Michael calms you.

“Y/n I had to bring you back because we are now bonded” he says while looking to you.

“What?” you ask while refrain from punching him

“Father was right about you being special. He created you for me, he made you perfect for me and I finally understand why he kept you here for a millenia” he continues while you look deeply into his grace

You begin to understand the different feeling and understand all together

“You mean?” you ask while Michael begins to wrap his wings around the both of you.

“Yes, you have always been betrothed to me and finally I have completed it” he replies while giving you a kiss

You melt right into his kiss and finally the bond is complete right before everyone.

“You're a garden bloom in a thousand hues. All I wanna be is with you” Michael says as he slowly pulls away from you.

Heaven has gained another ruler to Heaven. That ruler is you, the one task that has been written to happen and finally its done.

Father was right after all, you were special in every way and special to Michael. Thankfully he never casted you out nor Michael.

Now you can forever be happy in your and Michael’s kingdom. Ruling by his side and he by yours. The happily ever after you truly deserve.

#then there was me #supernatural fic #supernatural series #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #angel!reader #michael #gabriel #balthazar #raphael #ambriel #reader insert #michael x reader #supernatural!michael #supernatural!michael x reader #sorry took so long #finally have this up #supernatural x reader #spn x reader #cant remember what else i tagged here #is this all for the tags #tags #do i need anymore tags #lucifer #supernatural!lucifer

[youarentreadingthis]

Sam Winchester and Gabriel finally come face to face after the death of the Devil.

Part 10 of my 13x21 series.

Part 9. Part 8. Part 7. Part 6. Part 5. Part 4. Part 3. Part 2. Part 1.

Sam Winchester is sitting on the hood of a car, holding an archangel blade.

No, his archangel blade.

The one he used to kill Lucifer.

He feels no remorse, even when he had cleaned the remaining bright-red-angel-blood off.

Sam thinks it should have been black. Black as the Devil’s heart.

He turns it slowly in his hands, examining the writing circling the shining metal. The Enochian words are bunched together in a twisting and turning line, none of them forming complete sentences.

Sam Winchester can read them all, but not because he now has grace.

SamaelSamuelPoisonOfGodNameOfGodArchangelSoulGraceBornDemonRaised–

And on and on they go, speaking of an intricate description of him, of his life, of what he thinks, feels, knows. It should probably creep him out, but for some reason, it doesn’t.

He hears footsteps approach him from the side, crunching quietly in the mix of dirt and gravel.

Sam sighs softly, and the blade disappears with a thought.

He tilts his head a little bit to his right, and his eyes widen slightly in surprise as he sees who it is.

Gabriel. Loki, Trickster, Liesmith, Archangel, Messenger Of God.

Something deep inside Sam whispers, Brother.

Sam shifts to the left, waving his hand in a gesture to sit down.

Gabriel nods, doing exactly that, and knits his fingers together in his lap.

They both stare into the empty space in front of them, neither one looking at each other.

Gabriel swallows, looking down. “I heard you killed my brother.”

Sam stills as he hears those words. Not Lucifer, not the Devil, but my brother.

For the first time after Lucifer’s death, Sam feels guilt.

But he won’t deny that he did it. That’s not him.

Sam nods reluctantly, forcing the words out. “I did.”

His wings ruffle uncomfortably. He doesn’t know what else to say.

There’s silence for a bit before Gabriel releases a strangled breath. “I don’t know, Sam…I know he was, well,” Gabriel snorts. “A great big bag of dicks, yeah, but he was also my brother.”

Sam flinches, shoulders curling inwards. “I’m sorry.”

Gabriel looks over at Sam in surprise, straightening up.

“I’m not mad at you, Sam. I just…”

Gabriel turns away once again.

“It’s strange. Having everyone nearly gone.”

Sam doesn’t need to ask who everyone is.

“All the archangels are dead, Sam. Raphael, Lucifer, Michael.”

Gabriel’s eyes flick to the ground, beginning to glow a faint amber-whiskey-gold, like polished bronze, while Sam’s is a bright shining gold, and Gabriel murmurs, “Except me.”

Sam swallows. “Michael isn’t dead.”

Insane, crazy, lost a few of his marbles, sure, but he isn’t dead.

Gabriel frowns, tilting his head to look up at Sam. “What?” He croaks out.

Sam shakes his head, forcing himself not to look at Gabriel.

“He’s not dead. He’s…” A mess of limbs and heads bleeding bright-blue grace as it huddles in a ball, mumbling words that come from a shattered mind. They make no sense. “He’s in the cage.”

“What?” Gabriel’s voice is sharp, demanding answers. But Sam looks at Gabriel, and all he sees is pain.

Pain, because Gabriel knows what the cage can do to someone.

Sam stares at nothing again, licking his lips and taking a shuddering breath.

“Michael is in the cage. Our Michael, at least.”

“How?!” Gabriel snarls, and it sounds broken.

Broken like Michael, Sam thinks, and he shakes his head to clear it.

“You…you told us to get the rings. We did. Then we trapped Lucifer. Michael came along for the ride.”

Gabriel leans back, shocked. Then he asks the question Sam has been dreading.

“How’d you get them in the cage?”

Sam stops breathing as his eyes turn glassy, unfocused.

Pay attention, pay attention, pay attention, pay attention.

Pay attention, says the Devil, you don’t want your tongue ripped out, again, do you?

Pay attention, says Michael, sneering. Abomination. Learn some respect around me.

There is a burning sensation wrapped around Sam’s wrist and he whimpers, oh God, what a pitiful sound, and wait, no, it’s not burning, it’s just really, really warm, too warm for the Devil, too cold for Michael, what is it, why isn’t he being tortured, what’s going on–

“Sam!” Someone yells, and Sam thinks that an archangel’s voice in the cage should shred apart his eardrums like paper like they’ve always been a million times and they don’t and now he just feels lost–

“Sam, listen to me!” Sam thinks he knows that voice, now. Who is it? It’s been so long.

“Sam, fuck, I don’t want to have to explain this to your brother, he might actually kill me. So please. Open your eyes.”

Sam does, and the world explodes with light.

Gabriel knows something is wrong as soon as he asks the question. In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have asked at all.

Sam freezes, eyes looking at nothing. And then Gabriel notices he stops breathing.

He’s seen that before. In himself.

What was Sam not telling him?

Gabriel grabs Sam on the wrist, using what grace he has left to try and take a look inside, to see if he can bring Sam back. But Sam’s mind is completely shielded. And to add insult to the injury, Sam curls inwards, closing his eyes and letting out a whimper. Shit.

Blocking should be impossible, Gabriel wants to say, but he knows his powers are more than a little down, and Sam was psychic in the past. So he tries what anyone would do. Yelling.

He shakes Sam’s shoulder. “Sam!”

Sam doesn’t respond.

“Sam, listen to me!”

Gabriel growls in frustration. “Sam, fuck, I don’t want to have to explain this to your brother, he might actually kill me. So please. Open your eyes.”

And then Gabriel nearly flies away in shock when Sam does.

Sam is kneeling on the ground, head down, and has blasted everything within a twelve-foot radius away. Except for Gabriel.

Sam’s wings are stretched out, feathers splayed, glinting like metal and his molten gold halo is dripping and hissing when it hits the ground like it’s evaporating, and there are scorch marks on the ground, surrounding where he kneels and his eyes hold no trace of human, they’re just rippling energy contained within a vessel and Sam lets out a breath and it shakes the ground–

And then Sam throws up.

The power snaps back into his body as Sam begins to stand shakily, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his head and turning to Gabriel, who stands there, amber-gold wings outstretched and a disk of solid bronze hovering over his head.

Gabriel’s eyes are wide as his wings fold back and halo dissipates. And then they both look human again. Although they are very much not.

Sam stumbles over to another car, leaning on it and hanging his head.

“Sorry,” He grunts.

“You have grace,” Gabriel says, and it’s not a question.

Sam frowns. “Yeah, I thought you could tell.”

Gabriel walks over slowly, stiff. “No, I couldn’t- my grace wasn’t strong enough, I was far too weak.” He narrows his eyes as he looks Sam over. “Why do you have grace?”

It’s not, “How do you have grace?”, because Sam thinks Gabriel already knows. Just take a look at the golden feathers, golden eyes, golden halo.

It’s why, because Sam knows a soul should not be able to contain grace, no matter how powerful it is. A soul is all soul, that’s it. Except for Sam Winchester.

Sam’s hands shake, and he grabs onto the edge of the car. It creaks under him, and when he moves away, there’s a handprint-shaped dent in the metal.

Am I ever going to get used to this? Sam thinks, sighing. Then he turns back to Gabriel, eyes full of pain.

“My soul…” God dammit, Sam, just say it. “It was shredded, torn apart, whatever you want to call it. The cracks, well,” He snorts. “The cracks are filled with gold, so to speak.”

This time, Gabriel is the one to freeze. “What happened?” What happened to your soul? Why is it shredded? There are so many other questions behind the words Gabriel says. Still, he says it quietly, not demanding an answer.

But Sam chooses to anyway. “The Cage,” He says simply, as if it’s no big deal at all.

Gabriel snarls. “How?”

Sam bites his lip, turns away. He speaks as quickly as he can. “I said yes. Jumped in. Accidently dragged Michael down too.”

Gabriel makes a wounded noise as he flinches backward. “How long?”

Sam winces and shuts his eyes, shuts the memories out. “Five thousand years,” He whispers, and his wings curl around him like a tent of feathers.

Gabriel chokes. “How are...how are you still alive?”

Dear boy, you're all duct tape and safety pins inside. How are you alive?

Sam shrugs, putting on a bitter smirk. “Honestly? No idea,” He rasps out.

Before this, he knew he’d been falling apart for quite a while.

The only thing holding him together now is grace.

Gabriel looks wary, but he sighs and a weak smile forms at the edge of his mouth.

“Come on, let’s get back to camp.” Gabriel’s three pairs of wings stretch out in anticipation.

Sam looks at them and feels something break in his chest. “Gabe…I’m sorry about your grace.”

This time, Gabriel grins, eyes sparkling. “It seems I got a super-charge from you. Don’t worry about me.”

Sam sucks in a breath. “What?” He whispers, shocked, confused, and thankful, because for once he did something right in his life.

Gabriel rolls his shoulders, wings stretching out as well. “Yup! Okay, now let’s go, because I’m pretty sure Dean will stab me if we don’t get there on time for food.”

Sam looks at Gabriel, frowning. Gabriel rolls his eyes.

“Yes, I think he knows you don’t need to eat, but food is excellent, yes? Come on, let’s go.”

Sam nods, getting up from where he was leaning against the car. This time, when he stands, he’s stable. Good.

And Gabriel sobers a little bit when he watches Sam. And then he looks Sam in the eyes.

Amber-whiskey eyes to those of an ever-changing color.

Archangel to archangel.

One, old as time and the other newly born.

And at this, fate herself, trembles.

And Gabriel, Archangel, Messenger of God, speaks.

For what it is worth, Samael, I think of it as an honor to have you as a brother.

Sam falters at Gabriel’s voice in his head, but then he smiles and replies with a quiet,

And I you, Gabriel.

They both disappear with a whisper of wings.

Tagging: @saintsurvivors

#my fanfiction #fanfiction #spn fanfiction #supernatural #spn #sam winchester #gabriel #gabriel spn #sam winchester and gabriel #my writing #13x21 #13.21 #spn s13 #s13 #season 13 #spn s13 coda #spn s13 fanfiction #supernatural season 13 #beat the devil #spn beat the devil #supernatural beat the devil #13x21 beat the devil #13.21 beat the devil #spn 13x21 beat the devil #spn 13.21 beat the devil #spn 13x21 #spn 13.21 #spn s13 ep21 #spn s13 ep21 beat the devil #angst

[orbitcd]

manhandle. // @safaerax​ ☠ // Michael @ raph *eyes* ☠ - slam my muse into a wall

                 it was quicker than he’d anticipated - michael was still quick despite the exhaustion he’d felt from the lack of sleep. a startled yelp pulled through painted lips and his wings were curling as he’d embraced impact of the wall. his ears rung when his head slammed against the jutted filigree behind him and gloved hands were gripping tightly against the wrist that held him so firmly. 

                 how many times had he fought with the others? he’d fought with gabriel when she’d been alive, he’d even rolled in the mud with lucifer before he’d fallen. everyone constantly proved just how weak he was. simply one hand to hold him down, to crush him like he was nothing but a snuff of dirt on their boot that they needed to rid of. 

                 heavy curls fell in heaps over his shoulders and pressed behind his small back. beautiful wings beat against the wall, the stone and paint shuddering underneath his force. ‘ unhand me. ’ he demanded, well aware of the ranking between he and michael. michael would always reign superior, but his cruelty often bit him back when he wasn’t looking. like that clay doll he’d adopted. raphael had trained underneath michael he’d learned his weaknesses in fights, his openings. he’d learned even when the angel hadn’t realized he had. 

                 gold pooled into his eyes and seemed to stem out from his soul in veins. ‘ you know what i lack in my strength, i make up in my power - correct? ’ he sneered. his foot snapped against his staff that had clattered beside him when michael had pinned him. it smacked into his palm, his grip tight around the ewe wood. his other hand still hold onto michael and the emerald entangled within the wood flared. a burst of magic flared in the room and he slammed his weapon against the angel’s gut. enough to just get him to let go and stumble back. 

                 a wet cough choked out from raphael’s throat and he used his staff to stabilize him. tapping the end of the wood on the floor, bright magic entangled around the general, dragging him and slamming him onto the floor. the gold from his gem continue to web through his body, spreading up his throat now. it was completely engrossed within in his body now. ‘ you don’t get to throw a tantrum simply because you’re upset. ’ if raphael couldn’t, why should he? life wasn’t fair, and he certainly wasn’t going to make it for michael, either. 

                 ‘ rather than acting like a child, we could simply talk - but now you’re going to stay here until you calm down and stop snarling at me like some rabid beast. ’

#you've been read ( inbox. ) #safaerax #raphael + michael ( how far are you going to walk with a broken heart? ) #raph vc: i got all goddamn day baby

[thefragileblackdahlia]

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester: Final Part

Chapter Summary

The brothers and Ariel deduce a witch is sacrificing people to summon a dangerous demon. Dean struggles with the consequences of Ariel’s behavior.

Pairing(s): Eventual Dean x Ariel, Castiel x Ariel

Warning(s): Heavy Angst, MAJOR Character Death, Fluff (if you squint), Typical SUPERNATURAL Violence, Mild Language

A/N: This episode will focus heavily on Ariel’s POV. It is still in 3rd person but centered around her experiences. So it won’t involve much of the episode besides the parts i find crucial. Please feel free to leave feedback.

Beta’d by no one

Word count: 2,803

Ariel’s outfits

HEAVEN ADJACENT

Ariel let out a blood-curdling scream as recognition dawned on her face. She did not want to be here; she had to help the Winchesters. The archangel yanked at the chains, trying her best to break free.

"Let me go!" Ariel cried, trying to figure out who it was that was to be her executioner today; Michael or Raphael. "I just want to be free..." She screamed.

"Now, you know I can't let you do that." A calm, disembodied voice took over Ariel's senses.

The woman shut her eyes and shook her head. "No..." Her body began trembling, tears welling in her eyes. "I would have accepted dying by the hands of Raphael, but you big brother?"

"Raphael couldn't handle one simple task." Michael let out a heavy sigh and walked around his little sister. "This way, you can't prevent it, and he won't have a boost when he comes back."

Ariel scrunched up her face as she looked to Michael. "You're pathetic. An insufferable leader who can't get past the fact that Dad is gone- He doesn't care about us, so if killing me is your grand way of finally getting his attention- you're wrong!"

"Fine." The commander summoned his blade, it flying to his hands. "Any last words, little one?"

Ariel shut her eyes, despite having said all that about her father, she loved him very much. She prayed.

'Father, I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you. What transpired that day was not your fault and that someday I hope you forgive yourself. Protect Sam and Dean Winchester. They are gifts to humanity.'

When she finished praying, she opened her eyes and gave Michael a bleak smile. "I hate you. I hate you so much. I hate you-"

Michael drove the archangel blade into her being, a golden light seeping through the multiple wounds already on her body. He gazed into her sapphire eyes, watching the light fade. It was hard for him. All that was left were him and Raphael to run heaven and that was hard enough as it was.

Ariel let out a shrill scream, her wings flaring out as the pain grew stronger. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked to her brother, who shared almost the same worried look.

A tear fell over the precipice and ran down her cheek.

Once he drove the blade deeper, a blinding orange light filled the room, as well as her eyes, mouth, and nose.

Then, a blastwave of orange light emitted from the woman's body.

"It'll be alright," Michael whispered just as he twisted the blade, killing Ariel. He cradled her head gently and laid her down to the ground, the silhouette of her massive wings burned into the floor where she now laid.

He figured her vessel would be dead by now, considering all the stab wounds, so there was no point as to trying to save her. Michael shut the woman's eyes and inhaled deeply.

"It will be alright." He murmured, more so trying to convince himself that things will be okay, but that was far from the truth.

Michael left his temporary vessel.

EARTH- IMPALA

Sam looked around in a panic while Dean was still staring at the spot where his angel used to be. His right side. That's where she belonged, but she just got a blade stuck through her throat then vanished with the two worst angels he ever met.

All he wanted at the moment was his 'burden.' "Ariel?" Dean murmured. He raised his hands to his head. What was he supposed to do?

"Dean, we gotta go." Sam breathed, pushing his brother out the door and toward the steps.

Dean did not want to budge; he dragged his hands down his face and looked at his vandalized car with wide eyes from the balcony. "Yeah..." He exhaled, wiping the forming tears in his eyes and nodding. "Yeah, okay, The seal."

The brothers climbed into Baby, sadness clouding Sam's features. Dean glanced at his brother, feeling the disappointment radiating off his being.

"What?" Dean asked.

Sam thumbed the string on the hex bag and shook his head, "Nothing." He chuckled, a line appearing between his brows. "I thought they'd be different-"

"Who- the angels?" Dean queried, gazing intently at his brother's agonized grimace.

The giant nodded, licking his lower lip and letting out a repressed sigh. "Yeah, I just- I thought they'd be righteous. Did you see how they treated Ariel... I mean- Ariel talked about Castiel like he was her bestest friend, and he stabbed her in the throat." Sam shut his eyes and shook his head.

Dean winced at Ariel's name. Just the sound of it sent a pang through his heart; he was sure she was still alive, she had to be. He could feel it. "They are righteous. That's kinda the problem." He let out a sad sigh. "Of course, there's nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he's on a holy mission."

"But, I mean, this is God? And Heaven? This is what I've been praying to?" Sam lifted his brows, trying his best to be strong like Dean, but it was hard. There was so much crap going on, and he still couldn't shake the feeling that they might not save the seal.

Sam Winchester lost faith.

"Look, man, I know you're into the whole God thing and Jesus on a tortilla and stuff like that." Dean paused and reached for a wilted poppy flower. Ariel whipped up the bulb out of thin air and read him a cryptic Enochian poem when she gave it to him.

'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '

Dean stared at the steering wheel with a distant look in his eyes. He felt like someone had ripped out part of his soul. He did not like this feeling at all.

Dean frowned and stuffed the flower in a hidden pocket inside his flannel, "Just because there's a couple of bad apples doesn't mean the whole barrel's rotten. I mean- for all we know, God hates these jerks...Don't give up on this stuff, is all I'm saying. Babe Ruth was a dick, but baseball's still a beautiful game."

Sam looked up at his big brother, disappointment still in his eyes. "Ariel- she uh, she's a good apple, right?"

There was a long pause.

The boy with the demon blood unraveled the hex bag and started to go through its contents. He began to fiddle with the charred bone.

Dean thumbed the steering wheel and put on his best smile. He had to carry on.

"Are you gonna figure out a way to find this witch, or are you gonna sit there fingering your bone?" The 30-year-old pursed his lips and started the impala. He didn't want to talk about Ariel, not anymore; At least not until he knew that she was safe and not bleeding everywhere.

Dean was set on translating the poem.

'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '

Sam held up the bone and studied it. "You know how much heat it would take to char a bone like this, Dean?"

"No."

"A lot, I mean, more than a fire or some kitchen oven." Sam set the bone down in the cloth.

"Okay, Betty Crocker, what does that mean?" Dean glanced at his brother with a raised brow.

Sam sighed with a look of determination in his eyes. "It means we take a stop."

One day after Halloween

NOV 1ST, 2008

Dean sat on a bench, observing the small children as they played on the jungle gym. Ariel was still 'missing,' and he was set on finding her; he just needed to know where to start. The human pulled out the poppy flower.

'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '

A faint sound of fluttering could be heard to the far left by the other bench.

Dean addressed the angel and in an annoyed tone. "Let me guess, you're here for the 'I told you so.' " The human let out a peeved sigh and wiped the few tears that had escaped his tear ducts.

"No."

"Well, Good, 'cause I'm really not that interested." Dean quipped.

Castiel clasped his hands together and interlocked his fingers. "I am not here to judge you, Dean."

"Then, why are you here? 'Cause there's no more people to stab. " Dean murmured.

Castiel glanced down at his feet, "Our orders-"

"Yeah, you know, I've had about enough of these orders of yours-" Dean leaned forward on the bench, perching his elbows on his knees.

The soldier stared at the children with wide eyes and just let out a breath, "Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain, they were to do whatever you told us to do."

"Your orders were to follow my orders?" Dean asked in disbelief. There was no way someone told them to listen to The Winchesters.

'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '

Castiel looked to the hunter with an odd look in his eyes; It was pain. "It was a test...to see how you would perform under...battlefield conditions, you might say."

"It was a witch..." Dean started, narrowing his eyes and licking his lower lip. "Not the Tet Offensive."

Castiel smiled, a light chuckle escaping past his lips. This reaction grabbed Dean's attention. It was strange seeing Cas smile. It meant something was changing within him.

Dean and Castiel gazed at the children.

It warmed Castiel's frozen heart to see his father's creations playing. Cas was pulled away from his thoughts when Dean let out a heavy sigh.

"So, I, uh, failed your test, huh? I get it." Dean inhaled deeply and set his mouth in a hard line. "But you know what? If you would have waved that magic time-traveling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I'd make the same call..." He paused and glanced at the soldier. "'Cause see, I don't know what's gonna happen when these seals are broken, hell I don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But what I do know is, is that this here?--" Dean motioned to the playground. "These kids, the swings, the trees, all of it is still here because of my brother and me."

'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '

Castiel inhaled, fixing his eyes on the jaded man before him. "You misunderstand me, Dean. I'm not like you think...I didn't want to turn her in, and I was praying that you would choose to save the town."

"You were?"  Dean queried. He ignored the part about Ariel; he wasn't ready to think of the possibility that she might be dead.

"These people-" Cas leaned forward and set his elbows on his knees. "They're all my father's creations." He gestured to the children. "They're works of art, and yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken, and we are one step closer to hell on earth, for all creation. And that's not an expression, Dean, It's literal. You of all people should appreciate what that means."

A line appeared between Dean's brows as he thought about Lucifer rising. He averted his gaze and pressed his lips together. Why did it feel so out of his control at this point? He wasn't sure how many seals were left, and no one was giving him and Sam any insight on where to find them and stop them.

The hunter reached into his jacket and pulled out the enchanted poppy flower, thumbing the wilted petals. Why did everything have to be on his shoulders? He wished Ariel was here.

'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '

Castiel stared at the dead flower carefully, watching the Enochian magic circle around the stem. He averted his gaze, not sure what to say to Dean at the moment, who was having trouble translating the words to English.

"Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?"  The soldier looked at the ground, troubled.

"Okay."

"I'm not a- um...hammer as you say. I have questions, I... I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here." Cas sat back on the bench, pain in his eyes. "But in the coming months, you will have more decisions to make."

There was a beat.

'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '

Castiel resumed, "I don't envy the weight that's on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don't."

The hunter and angel share a long look.

Dean turned his attention to a small ginger child, and for some reason, reminded him of his angel. He looked back to where Castiel had been sitting with an agonized expression. He wished that the decisions weren't up to him. Why did he have to decide the fate of the planet?

Why only him?

Dean sighed, imaging if Ariel was there to comfort him. She would sing and tell him that he was not alone and that everything will be alright. The righteous man leaned back against the bench and gave Ariel his best-veiled smile, but there was no use, she always saw right through it.

Damned you, empathy.

He played out the scene in his head.

"You look constipated, Did your talk with Castiel upset you?" Ariel poked fun at the human, trying her best to joke around like he usually did, but it didn't seem to work this time. The angel took a seat next to him, a wan smile plastered on her face.

Dean chuckled a bit at her tease but just didn't have it in him to hold up his facade. Tears shimmered in his eyes as he gazed down at the poppy in his hands. "Why me? I mean- I can't do this..." He managed to get out before strangled sobs filled the silence.

Dean began crying as he started to piece together some of the Enochian words.

Ariel's eyebrows knitted at his question. She wished it could be different for him, but some people were destined for greatness and a man like Dean Winchester, it was his destiny. The redhead drew her lower lip between her teeth and looked to her human counterpart. "You can do this...I believe in you." She whispered.

Her words prompted Dean to make eye contact with her. Dean gazed into Ariel's sapphire eyes and shook his head. "I don't- I can't lose any more people." He choked out, gripping the poppy tight in his hands as if he was afraid it would disintegrate.

"We can do this... I believe in us, Dean. You, me, and Sam." Ariel reached out her left hand and gingerly covered his hands with hers. As much as she wanted to cry with him, she had to be strong.

"Everything will be alright," Ariel whispered.

Dean shut his eyes and allowed for her warmth to envelop him. He nodded his head and faked a smile as his tears ran down his face. "Okay," He sniffled.

Ariel inched closer to the human and planted a soft kiss to his tear-stained cheeks, not caring at all if she got them on her lips. "It will be alright." She murmured while giving him another kiss but closer to his lips.

"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." Ariel cooed.

Dean hastily turned his body toward hers and clutched the sides of her face.

He had here and now.

The hunter roughly locked lips with the angel, afraid at any moment she might evaporate. He dug his fingertips into her head and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss, but it wasn't enough.

This will never be enough.

Ariel returned the tender gesture by placing her hands on his shoulders and squeezing them tightly. She traced her fingers across the handprint she left on Dean that day.

Nothing good in this life lasts forever.

Dean finally translated the words, his face contorting at the thought.

'Keep a good eye on me, for when we are no longer one, I wilt.'  

The broken man opened his eyes to look at the empty spot next to him; he hated this feeling. He longed for it after so many years, but now he just wanted it to go away; It hurt too much because he knew it never lasted.

Why did it have to be him?

"I love you..." He breathed.

And that is what scared Dean now that he was alone.

SERIES MASTERLIST

#dean winchester #sam and dean #dean fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #Dean x OFC #Sam Winchester #SPN S4 #spn fanfiction #SPN Angels #SPN #spn lucifer #spn michael #masterlist #spn angst

[astarisms]

collateral damage

Pairing: Natan

Warnings: Blood, swearing, violence

Word Count: 2818

A/N: It’s a day late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE @cosmicallybrownie!!!!! 

Lucifer had been alive far longer than any human could even begin to comprehend. He had seen and done everything there was to see and do. He had thought himself hardened and experienced enough where he wasn’t just immune to surprises, but that there was nothing that remained to be seen that could even have the potential to.

Natalie McAllister continued to prove him wrong.

She was across the way, chatting with Raphael like it was just another day, like he was just another person, like she hadn’t just faced off against hell itself and like she didn’t bear the scars of her, what? Bravery? Stupidity?

Stupidity would be his first thought, but he couldn’t deny the courage it must have taken to stand there and face the horrifying reality of his demons.

His demons. He would’ve snorted at his own joke if he wasn’t so fucking exhausted.

He watched her for a few minutes, clenching his fists to hide how his limbs shook with fatigue. In the time he’d spent with her, he’d grown to not loathe her and everything her teenage-girl-mind stood for. She had gone from being a burden of the highest caliber to a mild inconvenience in such little time.

For one, disgusting, cringeworthy moment, he thought he might be going soft.

Then she was at his side, chattering in his ear and offering up his assistance to Raphael and Gabriel, and he quickly stamped that down as he felt blissfully familiar irritation threaten to make his eye twitch.

So maybe she wasn’t so bad. That didn’t mean anything.

“I wouldn’t be best friends with a monster.” There was a sincerity in her words he couldn’t have possibly expected, and her bright smile threw him through a loop.

Best friends? With him? The devil?

His breath shuddered when he exhaled, and he was glad for the ringing of her phone and her short attention span.

The girl was mental.

But there was something her words incited in him, even as she turned away to deal with her angry brother. A stirring deep inside him, a longing he’d thought he’d killed and buried. She’d said he was her best friend and he’d spent centuries trying to forget what a best friend felt like.

He’d spent millennia trying to forget what loneliness felt like.

She was opening up old wounds and he would’ve resented her for it if she wasn’t healing them along the way.

Even if the thought terrified him in ways he would never admit.

The first time he saw her with Jericho, his gut twisted. It was a nasty, familiar feeling, one that got him his wings ripped out and cast from his home, but he refused to place it — out of stubbornness or denial, he couldn’t tell.

He didn’t acknowledge it.

Instead, he strode forward to pull her away, a scowl on his lips.

On top of the not-jealousy climbing up his throat, there was a deeper, more serious uneasiness growing in him. He cast a glance over his shoulder at the boy as they moved farther away from him, and it surged.

He didn’t trust him. He didn’t want Natalie near him, and while there was a selfishness to the thought, there was a protectiveness he hadn’t expected, as well.

He didn’t like it, but for the moment, he embraced it. The kid was bad news and if he could help it, she’d never go near him again.

Until she asked him to trust her and threw her unwavering belief in him in his face. He hated how easily she convinced him, how easily he caved to every instinct because she asked him to.

He only hoped that this didn’t backfire on him.

One of Lucifer’s favorite, more mild pastimes used to involve getting people shitfaced. It was always funny to him, how easily the influence of alcohol opened people up. He’d learned of scandals, of people’s deepest, darkest secrets.

The sins of humanity had always been able to lift his spirits.

Tonight, though, it was less than amusing. Instead of getting a good laugh, he was babysitting a stumbling teenager in the middle of the night.

And she was singing. Loudly. And badly.

His eardrums wept.

Eager to get her home and in bed, he adjusted her backpack on his shoulder and humored her questions with answers he was sure she wouldn’t remember in the morning.

As it turned out, walking and talking while drunk was not a skill she possessed. He tried warning her, but before he could even get the words out she was tripping over her own feet and he surged to catch her.

Natalie, unaffected by the near tumble, just laughed and smiled up at him.

“I’d die for you, you know,” she said, out of the blue. He felt the air rush out of him, his eyes going wide. She followed up with something that he didn’t hear, his ears ringing with the echo of her words.

Had he heard her right?

I’d die for you.

While that was the farthest thing from what he wanted, he understood the sentiment and for several moments he found himself unable to move. Natalie slipped out of his arms and walked on ahead, singing again.

He forced himself to follow her. His head was spinning. His chest ached in a way it never had before and before he could stop himself from thinking it, he knew what it meant.

He shoved the thought down violently, struggling to compose himself. He needed to get a grip.

The idea of pain had become a warped concept to Lucifer. After so long, it all seemed to blur together. What was a pinch of the skin or a slap on the face or a knife to the gut?

Pain was something Lucifer had long since learned to ignore.

Which was maybe why it took him as long as it did to realize what exactly it was he was feeling. For the first few moments, he’d just thought Natalie was having her period problems again — and those he had especially learned to disregard.

It was only when he felt something warm and wet coating his sweatshirt, slipping down his skin, that he began to have second thoughts and discovered the true source of the pain.

At first, he simply stared down at it, unable to believe what he was seeing, what he was feeling.

Then he shot to his feet. He realized belatedly that he didn’t know where she had gone. Obviously she wasn’t at the library studying if there was a new set of soon-to-be matching scars on her lower stomach and back.

It was almost funny, how all her scars had a twin.

It didn’t take long to find her regardless and by that time he was seeing red. There was bloodlust in his eyes, the desire for it coursing through his veins in a way it hadn’t in some time. He was furious, driven half mad at what his new wound meant and at the audacity of this imposter.

How dare he?

Lucifer was ready to tear his limbs from his body. So eager to exact revenge tenfold the crime, to spill blood for blood split, that he’d been blinded to what was most important.

He hated that it was Michael, of all people, who had to remind him. It was Michael who cradled her, broken and bleeding, in his arms and urged Lucifer to get her to a hospital.

Shame rushed over Lucifer. How could he have forgotten her? How could he have overlooked, for even a single moment, that despite how he handled her pain, she was still human and fragile?

If his own thoughtlessness hadn’t made his throat constrict and his heart stutter painfully behind his ribs, the tears in her eyes and the tremor in her bones would’ve done the trick. She tried to speak and blood trickled from the corner of her mouth.

He held her close and shushed her as he rushed her to the nearest hospital, sick with the thought of what could’ve happened had he been a moment later.

She had given him an out. After months and being bound to her, stuck in this house and privy to every whim and want, she was offering to just… let him go.

He almost didn’t believe it. It was too good to be true.

He could leave.

And for a moment, he considered it. He really did. He could return to his life before her, he could be free.

And for a moment, he did.

But he found he couldn’t. Not with her confession. She’d been less sad with him around, she’d said. He would’ve thought her insane if it weren’t for the fact that she had the same effect on him.

He could’ve laughed at the irony of the situation. How had she come to mean so much to him in such little time? He couldn’t bring himself to stay away.

Congratulations, he thought, half amused and half bitter, as he took his doll off her shelf and dropped it into her bean bag chair, you’ve wrapped the devil around your finger.

It was disgusting, how much he cared for her.

He heard her coming and moved to her collection of books, trying to be casual, trying to play off how pathetic he was. She’d given him an out, no strings attached, yet here he was.

The moment her eyes fell on the chair, they began to water. When she realized what it meant, she fell to her knees with a sob of relief and disbelief. His chest felt tight again.

He hadn’t meant to make her cry. The implications of her tears, of how deep her feelings for him ran, made the earth feel unsteady beneath his feet.

In almost the same breath, she stood, whirled, assaulted him, then threw her arms around him. He protested, giving a half-assed effort to pull away, because despite himself the press of her against him was almost more than he could handle.

“Suck it up,” she sniffled, unrelenting, then leaned back a bit herself only to bring her hands up to cup his face, closing her eyes and leaning her forehead against his. He didn’t move, didn’t dare, looking down at her. He hadn’t realized how much he’d craved this contact until he had it. “You didn’t leave.”

“...No,” he said, staring down at her. He studied her face, longed to reach up and wipe the tears that he had caused from her cheeks, but he didn’t.

“Should I even ask?”

“I’d prefer you didn’t.”

“Okay.” His hands shook by his sides. She was always prodding him, but she didn’t press him here. She let it go, her thumbs smoothing over his cheeks, just glad he was still there. “...Still friends?” she asked, a note of hesitation in her voice.

“...Yeah,” he said after a beat, on a breath they shared. Natalie smiled and he wished it was enough.

Friends was good. This was what he wanted.

So then why was part of him so disappointed? Why was there a part of him that ached for more?

The fury he’d felt the night his abdomen had suddenly started bleeding with Natalie’s injuries was no match for the restless rage he possessed now. After she’d been snatched from right under his nose and there’d been no sign of her since, Lucifer had nearly driven himself mad inside the confines of his own head.

After her location had been revealed to him, he’d been biding his time, trying to figure out how to slip her out of there and get the bastard and his little freak to stay far away from them.

The carving on his arm, however, had been the last straw. All bets were off the table.

The only difference between this rage and that one was that this time, Lucifer wouldn’t lose focus. He knew what he’d come for, and she was priority.

Everything in his way to her was just collateral damage.

Room after room, he searched for her. He would let nothing distract him, except…

“You.”

Jericho.

Since the throbbing in his arm had eased and Natalie was nowhere to be seen, he figured he could assume she was safe for the moment. And really, Jericho wouldn’t take very long to deal with.

Lucifer felt his mind and body slipping away. It wasn’t exactly welcome, but it was easier to accept Hell taking over when he saw the fear in the kid’s eyes.

Good.

But then Natalie was there. With the imposter, no less, but there, and alright, and imploring him to take back his body.

Hell was having too much fun with Jericho, however, not ready to relinquish control despite how Lucifer fought. Titus’s encouragement only made things worse, but when he went after Natalie, Lucifer rioted, pushing back against Hell to make his body move.

“She will perish with you if you don’t get serious,” Titus threatened, and his head was so loud it was hard to hear him over the souls. Hell pushed, ready for a fight, but Lucifer strained for control.

If Hell took over completely, there was no telling what it would do to Natalie.

And then…

It was quiet. She’d used her contract for him. She smiled at him wearily and he was overwhelmed with emotion, staring at her in awe. Under different circumstances, he might have kissed her.

But the circumstances weren’t different and they were standing in the middle of a burning warehouse and she’d been here for far too long. It was time to get her home and safe.

After what he’d seen of Titus, after what the man had done, Lucifer had been convinced he’d never feel anything for him aside from a passive antipathy.

Titus was not, he decided after Natalie was safely home, enough of a threat anymore to concern himself with.

So when he showed up at Natalie’s doorstep to beg Lucifer for a fight and tell them why he so desperately needed one, Lucifer was ready to toss him back to the streets where he came from.

When Titus claimed that Lucifer was no longer fit for the title of Satan, he almost rose to his feet, ready to grab him by the ugly shirt he’d been wearing and haul him out of the front door. Titus sensed this, and continued on quickly.

“I feel like being alone and unloved is a quality ‘Satan’ possesses,” he rushed to say. “You don’t have that anymore because—” Before he could even finish, Lucifer knew. His eyes unconsciously went to Natalie. “—you have her.”

In one regard, he was right, Lucifer guessed, trying not to let his gaze soften on the redhead as it had so often tried to do as of late.

He did have her. And with her he found he was beginning to forget what ‘alone and unloved’ felt like.

Anywhere in the world, he’d told her. He would take her anywhere, all she had to do was name it.

And all she’d wanted was to go a few hours west to the coast.

If you’d have asked him before, he would’ve called it a waste of a wish. But seeing her face, as she looked out over the ocean, the sunset painting her pale skin as if she was a canvas, he couldn’t find it in himself to discount the location.

This was what she’d wanted, and he was glad it didn’t disappoint. She seemed awestruck by the view, and he was reluctant to admit he was in much the same state over a slightly different sight.

She admired the way the horizon stretched endless before them and the way the colors of the sky reflected on the ocean and he watched the way the oranges and pinks played across her cheeks and neck and chest and shoulders and the way sun turned her hair into fire and the way the waves danced in her eyes with the same amount of breathless reverence she had, though unlike her, he was quick to catch himself and turn away.

The image of her was burned in his mind. He thought she was a lovely image to close his eyes to.

He glanced at her again, briefly. He’d told her this was all he was doing as thanks, but the truth was, he would never be able to make it up to her.

He’d spend the rest of her life trying, though in much more subtle ways. She would never grasp the extent of what she’d done for him, and it was no use trying to deny it anymore, at least not to himself.

He loved her all the more for it.

Which is why he would make sure she would never understand the full extent of what he’d done for her.

Love was a funny thing.

#natan #satan and me #thisiskindagross #star light star write #BROWNIE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH #HAPPY LATE BDAY BABE <3

[mittensmorgul]

5.14:

Same, Cas. Same.

Lizbob was laughing at me earlier because I’m in the middle of this seemingly long stretch of episodes that involve Major Fandom Disagreements. And this is one of them. Because of this ^^

Under a cut because JIMINY CHRISTMAS THIS ONE GOT LONG...

(read more excised due to tumblr being shifty)

I will preface this episode review post with this disclaimer: CASTIEL’S LOVE OF CHEESEBURGERS IN THIS EPISODE IS NOT “PROOF” THAT JIMMY’S SOUL WAS STILL IN CASTIEL’S VESSEL AFTER 4.22.

Because everything else about s5 DISPROVES that Jimmy’s soul was still in there. I mean, if you believe that Cas being blown up by Lucifer in 5.22 was what “killed” Jimmy and sent his soul to Heaven, then why wouldn’t Cas being killed IN THE EXACT SAME FASHION by Raphael in 4.22 have done the same? You can’t have it both ways. Either being torn apart on a molecular level by an archangel kills a vessel or it doesn’t. If it does, Jimmy died in 4.22. If it doesn’t, then HE SHOULD STILL BE IN THERE, BUT CAS SAID DEFINITIVELY THAT HE’S BEEN IN HEAVEN FOR YEARS.

Since 4.22.

But, you might say BUT THEN WHY WOULD CAS HAVE BLAMED HIS HUNGER FOR RED MEAT ON HIS VESSEL? NAME CHECKING JIMMY SPECIFICALLY?!

Uh, angels aren’t incapable of lying, or deflecting the truth. And EVERYTHING about Cas’s body language in that scene screams prevarication.

Castiel: It's my vessel -- Jimmy. His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect.

Dude’s shifty as FUCK okay? He doesn’t want to admit how “human” he was becoming, cut off from Heaven. He spent all of s5 in a slow slide from grace. He couldn’t heal Bobby in 5.02, he couldn’t hunt Raphael alone in 5.03, he couldn’t smite Meg in 5.10, in 5.13 booping Sam and Dean back in 1978 nearly kills him, in 5.16 he’s reduced to trying to communicate with Dean in heaven via radio and a tv, and after 5.18 he’s rendered utterly human AND BRAIN DEAD FOR A TIME. I mean, he’s forced to use a GUN in 5.21 and a holy oil molitov in 5.22 because he’s just got no juice left. None. BUT IF HE’S NOT AN ANGEL THEN WHAT THE HELL IS HE?! He is terrified, that’s what. And this is his version of Denial.

He can’t even look at Dean when he says it. He’s been staring at Dean wide eyed up to this point, but when Dean questions it, he looks down at the burger, hesitates, and then blames his vessel as he BODILY TURNS AWAY FROM DEAN because he is so far in denial...

Okay, for those who don’t believe that and will only take Word Of God (aka authorial intent) as proof? BEN EDLUND SAID THE SAME DAMN THING:

“I always reserve in Castiel’s overall makeup the fact that there is an aspect of him that is purely flesh and purely human, which can function as it did in an episode before as a real Achilles’ heel, when he started to eat meat, because he just loved red meat. He couldn’t stop himself.”

I.e., THAT WAS ALL CAS. In his very own human body, with his very own human desires and feelings and tastes and vulnerabilities.

Castiel: I've developed a taste for ground beef. Dean: Well, have you even tried to stop it? Castiel: I'm an angel. I can stop anytime I want.

BUT HE VERY CLEARLY COULD NOT STOP. So what does that mean about the rest of his argument there-- that because he was an ANGEL he could stop whenever he wanted.

(insert “he’s no angel” tag here)

Okay, now that we have that all squared away, on with the fun!

*pushes play*

*regrets pushing play while watching a couple literally eat each other to death*

It’s Valentine’s day, and Dean and Sam have no real leads on the case, but Sam expects Dean to go out to celebrate Unattached Drifter Christmas. But Dean’s “not feeling it.”

SAM That's when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong. DEAN Remarkably patronizing concern duly noted. Nothing's wrong. We gonna work or what?

Dean doesn’t acknowledge that anything is wrong, because he feels... fine. I mean, he’s not troubled about anything. He’s not feeling the need to Perform anything.

Like in 12.18 we’ve been talking about how Dean uses sex as a coping mechanism. How he’s used alcohol, fighting, hunting even, not to mention LITERAL medications to self-medicate. Those are his go-to self-soothing things.

So if Famine blows into town and magnifies everyone’s desires, makes them “rabid” for the things they want-- like the cupid’s couple who were so starved for physical affection they tried to consume one another, like the second couple in the office who wanted to be Everything And All to each other without anything ever coming between them and ended up in a suicide pact so nothing would ever come between them again--

(JIM I don't know, baby. Seems like whatever we do, something in life is always gonna keep us apart-- Work, family, sleep .JANICE Now prison, maybe...JIM Maybe. But I think I have an idea...How we can stay together...forever...)

Like Cas giving in to his VERY HUMAN HUNGER for cheeseburgers (I miss you PB&J), and Sam giving in to his lust for demon blood... DEAN WAS NOT UNAFFECTED BY FAMINE.

It’s what Dean was literally starving for-- to be whole, to not NEED any of his coping mechanisms, to be able to drop the performance and just BE himself. Of course Famine would see it this way:

FAMINE:  That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex. DEAN Oh, you're so full of crap. FAMINE Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already...dead.

The smirking and joking? That’s Performing Dean. The “empty” bit isn’t Dean being “dead inside,” but the part of Dean that can reject the performance, that doesn’t NEED to be “filled,” because it’s already at peace with itself.

I am sort of skipping around here a bit... back to the morgue. Dean is amused by the coroner dude. So am I. That doesn’t bode well for the dude. The life expectancy of side characters who Dean finds amusing (like the guy Dean likes because he says “okey dokey”) usually drops to around zero.

Ew, Dean.

But the heart is the key, Sam recognizes the Enochian letter on it, so Dean calls Cas.

I don’t know what’s come over me. I don’t usually infuse these things with a lot of pics and gifs, but I like this episode. (ง’̀-‘́)ง

I think part of it lies in this significant thing that has also been a theme during s12 (and even during s11):

The DIFFERENCE between Sam’s reaction and Dean’s reaction to Cas.

When Cas asserts that a cupid has gone rogue and they have to stop him before he kills again... I mean, someone please offer me a non-desitel-related explanation for this difference, because I can’t find one anywhere.

(I am not actually soliciting non-destiel readings of this scene. I truly do not care about non-destiel readings of this scene. I’m just being hyperbolic)

But aside from the fact that everyone is in agreement about the cupid’s “handshake” technique

what do we really learn from meeting this particular cupid?

DEAN Why does heaven care if Harry meets Sally? CUPID Oh, mostly they don't. You know, certain bloodlines, certain destinies. Oh, like yours. SAM What? CUPID Yeah, the union of John and Mary Winchester--Very big deal upstairs, top priority arrangement. Mm. DEAN Are you saying that you fixed-up our parents? CUPID Well, not me, but... Yeah. Well, it wasn't easy, either. Ooh, they couldn't stand each other at first. But when we were done with them--Perfect couple. DEAN Perfect? CUPID Yeah. DEAN They're dead! CUPID I'm sorry, but... the orders were very clear. You and Sam needed to be born. Your parents were just, uh...meant to be. (sings) A match made in heaven- heaven! (Dean punches Cupid)

So heaven wanted John and Mary to get together. After 5.13 and what Michael told Dean about his “destiny,” this just adds another horrifying layer to all of that. Because “Destiny” was being rigged by heaven. Angels literally were the “agents of fate,” pulling every cosmic string to get all the pieces to line up exactly to bring on the apocalypse.

HORRIFYING.

John and Mary couldn’t stand each other at first, until the event Dean described in 12.01 about how John and Mary started dating?

Dean: Dad told me. March 23, 1972 you walked out of a movie theater, Slaughterhouse-Five, you loved it. And you bumped into a big marine and knocked him on his ass. You were embarrassed and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So you went to, uh, Maroni's, and you talked and he was cute, and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number you gave it to him even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that you met-

So they couldn’t stand each other BEFORE this intervention by the cupid, who probably shoved the two of them into each other right there...

Like the instant change of heart that came over the two dudes in the bar in 8.23 after the cupid touched them. EVEN DEAN NOTICED THE CHANGE IN THEM.

Okay, back to the show, slightly out of order again, because I keep pausing it to go on mental tangents... I’m not constrained by the time limits of the TNT loop. Hooray for Blu-Rays. :P

*Dean absolutely COVERS his burger in ketchup, just like he does in 12.18, but here in 5.14 he doesn’t have an appetite for it. He’s not trying to “fill the void” inside himself. Instead, Cas takes his burger... like Dean eventually does to Cas’s burger in 10.09... but Cas doesn’t even get a bite before he spots the cupid and chases him down*

*the cupid hugs the crap out of Dean, then Cas, then Sam, then Cas makes him cry, then Dean punches him, and Cas tells Dean he hurt the cupid’s feelings... :P*

*have I mentioned how much I love this episode?*

SAM You just punched a Cupid! DEAN I punched a dick! SAM Um...Are we gonna talk about what's been up with you lately or not? DEAN Or not.

(something finally required Dean “self-medicating”, finally shattered the relative Calm he’d achieved so far this episode, and he lashed out)

*blah blah blah Famine blah blah I already covered the rest of this in the first section of this post...*

Sam doesn’t hunger for the blood itself, but for the power it gives him.

Just like Dean doesn’t hunger for food or sex or alcohol or violence. They’re just tools to help him manage. They are a performance.

I mentioned this in another review recently... maybe even the one for 12.10, but this is the EXACT scene Sam lampshaded for us outside the diner. In 5.14:

DEAN Demons. You want to go over the plan again? Hey, happy meal. The plan? CASTIEL I take the knife, I go in, I cut off the ring hand of Famine, and I meet you back here in the parking lot. DEAN Well, that sounds foolproof. (Castiel disappears) This is taking too long. (Dean gets out of the car)

Dean gave Cas like TEN WHOLE SECONDS before he decided it was taking too long. And he was right to be worried. Cas was completely overcome by Famine.

And in 12.10, after Cas goes into the diner alone, Dean is pacing grumpily for maybe a minute or two before Sam mutters under his breath:

SAM: And you're gonna storm in right... now. 

Sam knows.

But Famine here gives Sam and Dean VERY SIMILAR ASSESSMENTS of themselves, yet puts Sam’s situation in a “positive” light and Dean’s in a “negative” light... because he is bound to Lucifer. He’s “fattening Sam up” for Lucifer. He doesn’t care one jot about Dean. What for Dean was a vast void of emptiness that he’d never be able to fill (dead inside!) for Sam is a blessing for the exact same reason. Context matters...

FAMINE Stop! No one lays a finger on this sweet little boy. Sam, I see you got the snack I sent you. SAM You sent? FAMINE Don't worry. You're not like everyone else. You'll never die from drinking too much. You're the exception that proves the rule. Just the way...Satan wanted you to be. So... (Famine lifts his hands and gestures at the demons guarding him)...cut their throats. Have at them!

Sam gets ONE GLORIOUS VICTORY here, but it came at the price of him giving in to his hunger for power:

FAMINE I'm a Horseman, Sam. Your power doesn't work on me. SAM You're right. But it will work on them. (Sam uses his power to rip out all the souls Famine consumed)

So he has to be locked in detox again. At the very end, we finally see a crack in Dean--

CASTIEL That's not him in there. Not really. DEAN I know. CASTIEL Dean, Sam just has to get it out of his system. Then he'll be-- DEAN Listen, I just, uh...I just need to get some air. [Dean goes outside and looks up at the sky] DEAN Please...I can't...I need some help. Please?

Praying to God for help, Dean? When you had an angel by your side a moment ago who was more than willing to help? Right, Famine’s influence is gone. Your Calm Center is gone too. You can’t let yourself feel okay with Cas anymore. Not to mention a part of his “peacefulness” throughout the episode was due to Sam being “okay.” And he’s so not okay right now...

What is Dean’s hunger? Not to be hungry for anything. To have Cas by his side (though maybe not on a burger binge), to have Sam happy and healthy and whole-- and wholly human. To know they’re all working together. To trust them both completely and have them trust him in return.

ETA: Because Heck while rereading this I forgot: It’s been said plenty of times before, but this is also a huge part of why Sam controls everything he eats. BECAUSE HE NEEDS THAT CONTROL. It’s self-medicating the same way Dean’s self-medicating with what HE can control for himself.

I think a lot of both Sam’s performance of “normality” and Dean’s Performing Dean persona are coping mechanisms, and are rooted in the very same need to have any sort of control over their lives.

#spn 5.14 #s12 meta rewatch #are you an angel or a man castiel? (hint: he's no angel) #you learned it from the goats #actual quote i just used elsewhere: Damn Ben Edlund #performing dean #castiel winchester #angels and vessels #angels and souls #spn 5.13 #spn 12.01 #spn 12.18 #spn 10.09 #spn 12.10

[orbitcd]

flowers. // @safaerax​ iris for Raph iris :   if your muse could convey one last message to someone they have lost or left behind ,   what would it be ?  

                 michael,

you’re stubborn as a bull, and nothing’s ever going to change that. it’s not as if i’m any better, however. i seemed to have picked up on those stubborn habits myself. as someone who has lost just as much and then some behind your back, i understand the need to close your walls and your trust is slowly only shared with yourself. i know i had an awful way of showing my care at times, just as i know as you had an awful way of trying to keep me safe in certain situations, but i hope i never made you think nor assume that i never cared. 

we both know my emotions sweep me up, and no it is not an excuse, but it is something of an explanation and i do know i need to work on it. i need to find some sort of balance of being healthily emotional rather than overemotional or not emotional at all - as i am not you, nor am i like much of our brothers and sisters. i am much different, even if to some extent we all are. 

maybe you didn’t see it like i had, but at the end of the day, i believe i only had you those days. now, it seems i’m finding myself all alone. i wonder if this is how you felt in your last few centuries, and if it is . . . i can never apologize enough for never being there enough for you, and instead i allowed myself to be swept up in my emotions and i was far too stubborn when all you needed was someone who’d sit there with you when you needed it. 

i don’t know where we go after death besides becoming dust and light, but i do hope you’ve managed to find some peace in your rest. i’ll never forget you, just like i’ve never forgotten him or her. i’m unsure if you’re capable of feeling emotions wherever you are, but i do hope you are happy and content being ridden from all the burdens you’ve carried for far too long.

                 forevermore,

                                       raphael

#you've been read ( inbox. ) #safaerax #raphael + michael ( how far are you going to walk with a broken heart? ) #watch him have a pile of unopened letters addressed to those he lost #between the war and the apocalypse and whatever else

[orbitcd]

relationships !! // @safaerax​ 👫 Michael and Raph!

shoes are for losers and michael 100% taught raphael to not wear shoes...ever- because he only ever does when it’s winter and he needs to be down with the humans to care for them. after that? nah, it’s bare feet and stockings are OFF, he doesn’t even care if it’s muddy/rainy out- it’s warm weather, shoes don’t exist and it is honestly all michael’s fault.

raphael likes playing with hair to begin with? like his is so long, it literally stays to his ankles lmao i hate him because he has curly hair and i’m sure it’s hell- but he doesn’t CARE?? anyways, even if michael’s hair is p short than what he’s used to, he likes running his fingers through michael’s hair, putting healing oils in it if he hasn’t been taking care of himself lately, braiding it, putting his hair up in a braided crown even and weaving flowers throughout it- it’s pretty relaxing and there isn’t a damn chance michael’s gonna try and run when raphael has a fistful of his hair lmao.

cloud/stargazing?? he probably has to wrangle michael to just come with him, but with him warming up to him and being a little softer, raphael would really like to have michael lay with him one time and watch with him, relax. it can honestly be in heaven or even when they visit the human world together, it would just be a nice down-time after a long day or night of work.

michael is honestly probably the only one who knows where all of raphael’s homes are on earth, because he has cottages/cabins just about everywhere for when he has to work and despite michael’s such a hardass, raphael always tells him if he’s needed, where he is and where he can find him - and if it’s not him personally, he makes sure he has letters to give to his underlings to pass ON to michael simply so he knows his current whereabouts when he’s away from home. raphael also knows 5-10 mins prior before michael comes, don’t ask him how he just...knows? michael’s presence is just that obnoxious i guess lmao

#you've been read ( inbox. ) #safaerax #raphael + michael ( how far are you going to walk with a broken heart? )

[orbitcd]

kisses for every occasion. // @safaerax​ 💜 michael wants a kiss raph Send 💜 for a platonic kiss

                 ‘ why do you look so antsy? ’ he mused as he was picking some herbs from their stems to grind and make salves and different sorts of pots with. raphael then grabbed a free towel to his side and wiped away at his fingers. he turned to face michael completely now, legs crossed as he leaned back in his chair. ‘ you look like you’re waiting for me to give you something, which is funny - because you never want anything from me. ’ unless it was to see their rabbits lately. 

                 despite his light teasing, his smile was genuine, the scrunch in his nose from pure joy was simply that, happiness in seeing michael staying by him today. though, he could see the start in the angel’s body, the tensed up shoulders and the way red spread on his fair cheeks. any brighter and he’d be as red as his own eye color. he could see the puffs of emotions flittering off michael’s body like clouds. how ridiculous, what makes him think i want anything to begin with?, can he not be happy that i’m simply here? - the flustered thoughts were endless, but he could see the lingering desire for raphael’s affection being buried underneath his anxiety. 

                 letting out a small sigh, raphael put his leg down and pushed himself off his chair. he was sitting in front of michael now, hands held out to gently grasp the smaller pair. on his knees, the healer raised his head enough to look up at the elder angel. his smile had softened as his thumbs brushed against smooth knuckles. ‘ i know it’s hard to ask, it’s not like you to do so - but, ’ he trailed just enough to push himself up enough and press a warm kiss to michael’s brow. raphael slowly eased back and sat on his legs now, and he hummed sweetly. 

                 ‘ i want you to know that you’re free to ask of things from me. i’ll gladly listen within reason. ’

#safaerax #you've been read ( inbox. ) #raphael ( makai ouji timeline. ) #raphael + michael ( how far are you going to walk with a broken heart? ) #here's ur kiss michael u gotta ask next time for his barrage KSDUHFG

[orbitcd]

tag for @safaerax​ !!

#raphael + michael ( how far are you going to walk with a broken heart? )