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#rain always brings much happiness to the world lol
persphonesorchid · 1 year
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Auburn Skies - MYG
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Summary:  Everyone knows that if your best friend has a little sister, she's off limits. That, and the fact that your best friend will probably kill you if you even think about going near his sister. Yoongi knows this. There's no way he could tell Namjoon that once upon a time you kissed him, drunk in his living room after a break up. So much time's passed since then, too much time to bring it up now, but Yoongi still thinks about it, he's still a little hopeful. Now you're here at the lake house because Namjoon brought you and you clearly have something you want to say to Yoongi. 
Namjoon's gonna kill him.
Genre: 18+, fluff, angst, humor.
Word count: 12k
Warning(s): 18+, smut, oral (m+f receiving) unprotected sex, porn is mentioned. Yoongi and Y/n are BOTH stupid and they need help. Taehyung's trying his best, Seokjin is also trying his best but subtler. Yoongi's convinced that Namjoon's out to get him at every turn. Slight jealousy. Y/n and Yoongi have no idea how to actually hold a conversation like adults, until they do.
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Notes: My addition to the Autumn Leaves Collab, hosted by the beautiful @bangtansmauyeondan !! I had so much fun working on this, and I met so many beautiful people that I'm so grateful for, so happy to call my friends 🥺 I love y'all! Please check out the other authors' fics on the Collab Masterlist! Everyone worked so hard, give my girls some love! Shout out to @blog-name-idk and @xpeachesncream for being absolute aNGELS, beta reading and helping me out when I panicked over this lol, and @madbutgloriouspond for helping me brainstorm. I hope you guys enjoy!! Please leave feedback, I'm nothing but a poor soul seeking validation (and motivation!) to keep going.
If you like my content, please, consider donating if you're able - Here
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"You're staring." Seokjin nudges Yoongi's arm with his, snapping him out of his daze. He catches Seokjin's smirk, and there's a twinkle in his eye that promises nothing good. Yoongi pulls his eyes away from your form, sitting in a chair on the dock away from everyone else with a book in your hand. You're bundled up in a thick sweater and cozy sweatpants, completely lost in your book.
"Was not." Yoongi feels the need to deny it, distracting himself with cutting up onions, focusing on the way the blade of the knife cuts through the vegetable and definitely not the way Seokjin was wiggling his eyebrows at him.
"Sure. I believe you."
Somewhere inside, there is music playing. A Lo-Fi beat that plays softly under the sound of rain. It's kind of sad, if Yoongi is being honest, but he supposes that autumn is a sad season. Nothing but changes all around. The leaves change colours, mixing like paint on an easel in the hands of a melancholy artist drowning in his own solitude. They shift and the vibrancy of summer fades until they die, falling off their homes to go drifting in the wind, or land on the ground to become everyone's problem.
He doesn't really like autumn, when winter is right around the corner and he can feel the cold seeping into his bones no matter how many layers he wears. Always leaving his cheeks and his nose red, and his fingers hurting when the chill gets to them.
You enjoy it though, even reminded him when he picked up you and Namjoon this morning. You were kicking at the pile of leaves in front of Namjoon's apartment complex like a kid, laughing like you didn't have a worry in the world. You greeted him like you hadn't seen him in years, running up to him with Namjoon's scarf wrapped awkwardly around your neck like you were in a rush.
Namjoon is currently skipping stones with Jungkook near the lake's edge, and Yoongi can see he's halfway to giving up because Jungkook is on his competitive streak again.
Namjoon is one of his closest friends. He met him in college when they were both fresh out of highschool and riding on shotgun dreams of being more than what they are. He remembers meeting you during spring break of his junior year, and you were blabbering about getting accepted into the same college as Namjoon; determined to follow your brother to the end of time.
The only word to describe your first meeting was awkward, to say the least. He'd only ever heard of you, with Namjoon going off about you whenever Yoongi lent his ear. His baby sister who was doing so well in school, his baby sister, who to Namjoon, practically hung the moon in the sky. Now, Yoongi thinks he's naturally awkward when meeting new people, he can't help it. Getting to know someone is hard no matter how much you hear about them, even though you've got a pretty good impression just by word of mouth. There were shy 'hi's' and the most soul crushing 'See you later's' when there's little to no chance of ever seeing that person again. Sweaty, nervous hands meeting in shakes and straight lipped smiles.
Now, Yoongi was sure he wasn't too bad at it. And you were good, smiling brightly, not looking as awkward as he felt. What was awkward was the way Namjoon had excused himself to his parent's kitchen, pretending to get a glass of water. Yoongi had followed him with his eyes, because why was he leaving him standing in front of his sister alone?
Yoongi still remembers the chill that went down his spine that morning, as Namjoon watched him dead in the eyes over your head. A look Yoongi had never once received from him before, one that simply said: "If you think anything about my sister that isn't innocent; you will die."
As a best friend, Yoongi respected that. As a man, Yoongi valued his life. He wouldn't dare. It's the code, do not, under any circumstances, think about your best friend's sister romantically or less. You were off limits from the day Namjoon showed Yoongi that picture of you.
Off limits.
Yoongi heard that loud and clear and Namjoon hadn't said a word that day.
You were off limits, still, when you'd called him at ass o'clock in the morning - not Namjoon, your brother who trusted with everything - about some smarmy asshole who thought it was funny to break your heart. When he picked you up outside a bar where you were supposed to meet your boyfriend of a year, standing in the rain, soaked to the bone, crying and slightly drunk.
Looking beautiful even when you had stumbled your way to his car, asking what did you do to deserve getting cheated on. He didn't answer you then, he had too much to say and it wasn't the time, not when you were drunk and wouldn't remember a thing when the sun came up. So he cranked up the heat in his car, and white knuckled the steering wheel the whole drive to his apartment, because yours was too far and it was late.
Off the whole damn table, when you'd kissed him on the mouth, still drunk, still crying and clinging onto him in his living room. He pushed you gently away, even as he licked his lips to chase the taste of you. Keeping the distance between you both wide as he watched you shatter like glass in his hold. You apologized through your sobs, and Yoongi's own heart broke as he tried and failed to pick up the pieces of yours scattered at your feet.
You asked him not to tell Namjoon, and Yoongi never said a damn word. You slept in his bed that night, in his clothes that were way too big for you, and left the next day like nothing happened.
You're still off limits now, even as you've grown up and are going into your senior year. Now that Yoongi finished college and had a job like a responsible adult, now his biggest worry is the price of bread climbing up and whatever the hell was on the news.
"Namjoon, we agreed that you weren't gonna come within 10ft of this space."
Yoongi looks up to find Namjoon wandering aimlessly towards them, holding a bowl of something in his hand. He stops dead in his tracks though, frowning, "I'm not that clumsy."
Yoongi and Seokjin share a look, before raising an eyebrow each at Namjoon. He sighs, lifting the bowl in his hand, "Hobi told me to tell you that Jungkook told him..."
"For Christ's sake..." Seokjin sighs, "Just get over here."
Namjoon grins like a kid, hobbling over to place the bowl next to Yoongi's busy hands. The bowl filled with slices of pork belly that Yoongi forgot he told Namjoon to fetch for him a long while ago. Too distracted to ask about it when he was skipping stones with Jungkook, he didn't even notice when he'd moved to get it.
He wonders what else he missed, lost in his own thoughts, and his eyes dart around to catch sight of you. Of course, you were no longer in the spot you'd claimed, now standing next to Jungkook. Both of you are laughing at Jimin, who was struggling to reach a branch of a tree that Jungkook could easily reach without stretching. You attempt it, jumping to reach, but you just don't make it and it's Jimin's turn to laugh, all crescent eyes and round cheeks.
At least someone's having fun.
Seokjin was mumbling something as he pokes at the coals in the grill, and Yoongi avoids looking at Namjoon because he realised he's staring again. He's awfully quiet, and Yoongi isn't sure if it's because of him, and he really doesn't want to risk his life here.
"'Autumn is the season that teaches us that change can be beautiful.'" Namjoon says, and Yoongi finds that he wasn't even looking his way. Instead, he was watching the lake with an odd look in his eyes, distant, like if he was thinking about something too hard and struggling to grasp it. At the same time though, he looked like he knew exactly what he was talking about; smiling to himself. He pats Yoongi cryptically on the back - a little forcefully - catching him off guard, and says nothing more as he walks away.
"We all know what it means when Joon starts quoting." Seokjin snickers, "You're so screwed."
Yoongi hums, and Seokjin gives him a knowing look, a look that says way more than what Yoongi is comfortable with, and he wonders, briefly, if he was being obvious, or if Seokjin was more observant than he gave him credit for.
"I hope the weather holds up." Seokjin mumbles, head tilted up and leaning slightly forward over the table to see past the awning above, he watches the sky with a small frown, "Said it was gonna rain sometime today."
Yoongi is grateful for the subject change, dumping the seasoning he chopped up into a bowl. He glances at the lake, at the reflection of the clouds on the water, they look a little gray with the promise of rain. He doesn't mind the rain, though, if it does, Taehyung's plan of sitting around the fire with marshmallows on a wire would be completely dashed.
Yoongi's not sure he could deal with the kid pouting all night because of it, and he hoped that the weather held up, too.
When lunch was ready, it was a little after two pm. The picnic table was clear of leaves that were raked to the side and into piles to deal with later. Hoseok finally crawled out of the bunk room, hair sticking up in odd angles and eyes sleepy still as he helped set the table with you and Jimin.
Yoongi walks over to the table with the small cooler he'd brought with him, packed full with ice and cans of beer, because what's lunch without it?
Seokjin walks behind, still prattling on about the weather, hoping for a little sunshine later on so he could get in the rowboat and swing his fishing rod around. He may have asked Yoongi if he wanted to come with him, but Yoongi was once again distracted; your soft laugh tunnelling his focus.
He sighs, internally, because God forbid anyone hears and starts asking invasive questions. Taehyung, of course, was clinging to you, not letting you move two spaces out of his orbit. Which of course, wasn't strange, Taehyung was just clingy that way; always stuck to someone like a kitten that hasn't yet learned to regulate its temperature.
The sight of it though, makes Yoongi's chest ache in a way that wasn't unfamiliar to him. The kind of ache that squeezes tight and knocks the air out of him, the ache he felt that night in his apartment living room when you kissed him. Thinking about it now makes the ache worse, because Yoongi knows what that kiss was, he knows what it meant and exactly where it came from. You were reeling that night, fresh out of a relationship that ended in a way you never saw coming, and that's where it came from. You were drunk, hurting, and attached yourself emotionally to the first person to treat you nicely.
It just happened to be Yoongi at the time.
He hates to think about it that way, as though it meant nothing when he wanted it to mean something. Yoongi likes to take things the way they came, there's nothing more than what it was, nothing to decipher or to sit and mull over. Not like he did that night, sitting up late on his couch, long after you'd passed out, then beating himself up about the whole thing because he was this close to laying his heart out at that moment.
He's glad he didn't. When you left the morning after, he wasn't even awake, woke up to his empty bed and quiet apartment. No note, no text - not that you owed him anything - so he left it as it was; unspoken.
He passes everyone a beer, avoiding your gaze when your hand brushes his, ignoring the soft smile on your lips that brightens your eyes and makes his chest hurt. He moves around the table and takes his seat in between Seokjin and Hoseok. He's sitting directly across from you, and to his rotten luck, Namjoon sits to your left, which puts Yoongi within his direct line of sight. He wonders if he'll be able to keep his eyes to himself, not get caught staring at you, even if your brother wasn't even paying him mind. Yoongi is cautious, still.
The chatter that fills the air is gentle, with laughs and catching up with each other. It was hard to find the time to do things like this, everyone was busy with their own schedules; the younger ones had school, the rest of them had work. Shit always get in the way.
Yoongi eyes Taehyung, who sits to your right and was poking at your arm more than he was eating. He had half a mind to tell Taehyung to quit it, the little devil on his shoulder telling him that he should; poking at his cheek and pointing. It isn't his place, though.
There's a twinkle in Taehyung's eye when their eyes meet, something mischievous that Yoongi would normally see from him when he was up to something. He turns slightly to you, whispering something to you with a hand covering the movement of his lips.
Yoongi's curious, he wonders what he's saying that makes your cheeks flush a pretty shade. Wonders what it is, when your eyes meet his for a second and you swat at Taehyung's hand. The younger man was clearly pleased with himself, smiling eyes meeting Yoongi's for a second too long, and Yoongi busies himself with stuffing his mouth with food.
"Think the water's cold?" Jungkook was looking out at the lake, doe eyes curious, his tongue absently fiddling with the ring in his lip.
"It's still early in the season..." Jimin answers, piling a spoonful of rice onto his plate, following Jungkook's gaze a moment after. "Wouldn't risk it though."
"I mean, you can if you want." Yoongi shrugs, "Just don't complain when you catch a cold."
Jungkook pouts, leaning his weight against Hoseok with a groan. Everyone knows Jungkook well enough to know that's exactly what he'd do, and then abuse his position as the youngest for the rest of their stay at the lake house.
The table was silent for a while, everyone occupied with stuffing their faces with the food, interrupted when Namjoon laughed at something Jimin said and choked on the rice in his mouth and is now nursing a bottle of water.
Yoongi missed this, just hanging out with his friends like they were back in college sneaking beer into the dorms and laughing over their drunken rambles. Just being.
Once lunch was over, they cleared the table of the bowls and plates, carrying everything inside to be washed up.
"I'll do the dishes," Hoseok says, balancing the large pot with plates and eating utensils in his hands.
"I'll do them, Hobi." Yoongi takes the pot from Hoseok's lax fingers, not giving him room to complain before he takes everything to the kitchen.
Yoongi misses the way Taehyung pokes your side, he did hear the smack of you hitting the offending limb, though. "I'll help you."
Yoongi feels his shoulders tense, and he tries to ignore it, setting the pot into the sink, while the boys place the other dirty dishes. He watches you for a moment, as you busy yourself packing away the seasoning and packets of spices back into their rightful places. He starts on the dishes, hyper aware of your presence somewhere behind him, but tries his best to keep it as far from the front of his mind as he could.
At some point, you switch places, and Yoongi takes up the task of drying the bowls and plates, packing them where they're supposed to be. He doesn't question it, just grateful to have something to do with his hands, mindful, to keep his head empty, because if his mind strays just a bit, he'll be thinking of things he really shouldn't. Off limit things. Like how he wished he'd just suck it up and kissed you back that night instead of pushing you away like he did. But, that would've been wrong of him, no? It wasn't the time and you weren't in the right frame of mind.
Yoongi skirts by you, packing the bowls back into the cupboard. This is awkward, maybe he should have let Hoseok do it when he said he would.
"Can I ask you something?" You suddenly ask, and Yoongi almost drops the bowl he's holding, not expecting you to speak because you've been so quiet. He glances over to the living room, where Namjoon and Jin are starting up a game of Mario Kart before he turns to look at you. Why does he always do that? It feels as though he's sneaking around for no reason whatsoever, always looking to make sure that Namjoon isn't looking at him.
"Uh, sure?" God, is it just him that's awkward? You look perfectly fine, elbow deep in soap water, scrubbing away at something in the sink, a small smile on your lips. Yoongi wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans, bringing them back up to stuff them into the pockets of his sweater. Play it cool, Min. "What's up?"
You turn your head, looking at him, and he swallows. The sink slowly drains, making that odd sucking noise as the water goes down and you look like you're struggling to grasp your words. There's a cute furrow between your brows, and Yoongi doesn't miss the way you bite your lip and look everywhere but at him.
Jin swears at Namjoon in rapid fire, in that way he does when he's got too much to say and not enough breath. Yoongi could see his arms flying up and swatting at Namjoon's shoulder, yelling about the blue shell he threw.
You take a breath, eyes settling somewhere above his head, clearly trying to block out Jin's racket, "Well...um..." You glance at him and look away, and Yoongi's just a little hopeful.
You look nervous, for once, wringing the life out of the dish towel in your hand as you press your lips together. There's a crease at your brow and Yoongi wonders what's bugging you. There were times when you'd freely spill your thoughts, up with him all ungodly hours just talking because that's what brother's best friends do, right? Offer comfort and a space to vent that isn't in the viewpoint of your sibling? He wonders what changed.
He knows though. It was that night, after that, things have been tense between you both, Yoongi just wishes it'd stop. He misses you texting him to tell him how your day went, or you constantly reminding him that he's way cooler than your older brother. He watches you now, if just to see you get even more flustered, even though he didn't know why.
Hope is an evil, never necessarily a good thing, if all it does is make you believe that something would work even though there's a slim chance that it actually would. Yoongi hates that he's hopeful right now. Hates that he's hoping that the flush of your cheeks and your nervous fidgeting has something to do with him, he hates that he wished you'd just spit it out already and stop his mind from coming up with all these things.
"Okay." You sigh, nodding more to yourself in a self-assured kind of way. Your eyes find his, briefly, before darting away, "Okay, so, I wanted to-"
"Hey, Y/n. Wanna play a round of Mario Kart with me?" Taehyung asks, walking into the kitchen with a smile, eyes filtering between you and Yoongi before they settle on you again. He pauses when you snap your mouth shut, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and slowly look at him. You and Taehyung share a look that Yoongi's not too certain he wants to know what's about; the silence between you three is too loud.
"What?" the younger man asks, "Did I interrupt something?"
"No."
"Yes."
Yoongi stares at Taehyung, trying his hardest not to glare at him, because what you wanted to say was clearly important. You were staring at him, Yoongi could feel it, but he's giving you an opening to say what you need to.
"No, Tae, you didn't. I'll play." You smile a little forcefully, finally giving the dishcloth a break and laying it down on the island counter. "I'll tell you later?" You tilt your head at Yoongi and he can only nod, hopeful again, that you really would and not find an easy out.
"Okay."
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"Tae, can't we do this later or something?" You frown, speaking lowly as he wraps his arm with yours and drags you away, "I was actually really close this time."
"Yeah, no. You looked like you needed saving. So you're welcome." Taehyung shakes his head, curls swaying, "One day, little butterfly, you'll be free to spill your feelings." He sits you down on the couch next to Namjoon, who thankfully, has his earphones in his ears. Jin had already wandered off to do God knows after his defeat, leaving your brother to fiddle mindlessly with his phone.
You can hear Yoongi moving around in the kitchen, probably still packing away the dishes. Taehyung plops next to you, throwing his legs over yours and almost knocking Namjoon's phone out his hands. He starts up the game after passing you a remote, smiling at you, "He'll probably come over here to watch the game, so I'll lose and he could play against you, yeah?"
"Tae..." You groan, tilting your head back, and he pats your arm in a friendly manner, though a little firm in his delivery.
"If you don't tell him now that's fine..." He points at Namjoon with a tilt of his chin, trying to remind you of your brother's presence without being obvious. "But at least you could spend time with him. Never know what could happen." He wiggles his eyebrows.
Evidently, Taehyung's the only person who knows about that night with Yoongi. He was the one who picked you up from his apartment after all, firing question after question and not giving you room to breathe. Though he was a tad upset that he wasn't your first call when you were stranded, he understood why you'd called Yoongi. At the same time, he gave you an earful about just leaving the man hanging after you kissed him. Something you shouldn't have done in that moment, lord knows what Yoongi thinks of you now.
You've tried and failed so many times to tell Yoongi that you weren't as drunk as you seemed that night three months ago, you knew what you were doing. You were hurt, yes, but it was more out of realisation. Your relationship with your ex had been rocky at best, you'd given into his advances to hopefully put your crush on Yoongi behind you. It was easy at first, to have someone to put your focus on and give yourself to rather than to waste it on someone who didn't see you the way you saw him.
Yoongi has always seen you as his best friend's sister, nothing more. And you'd kissed him that night hoping that even for a second he'd realise, but he pushed you away and you knew there was no use hoping.
Even now, embarrassment still burns at your chest when you think about it, because what were you thinking? You'd left without saying anything to him because you were positively mortified. There were hundreds of unfinished texts that started and ended the same, with you contemplating if you should tell him or not.
More often than not, a tipsy night would find you huddled under your sheets with your finger hovering over Yoongi's contact.
It was more likely that he still saw you as the fresh out of highschool kid who followed him and your brother everywhere.
You groan loudly at your own thoughts, and Taehyung turns his head, looking between you and the TV screen, "Uh....You can play Toad if you want.."
"Huh?" The choose your character screen is up, idle, waiting for you to move your joystick around. Taehyung's already picked, "No, it's not that. I don't even like Toad, you can play him."
"That's the rudest thing that's ever come out of your mouth." Taehyung pokes your side with a finger, "What's on your mind?"
"Everything." You sigh, scrolling around to pick a random character. Don't get it wrong, you love Mario Kart as much as the next guy, but right now your mind was far, far away from this moment and the game.
Taehyung pats your thigh, "Maybe losing will help." He snickers, just as the game starts up.
"Oh, you're on." You're not gonna lose, no matter how confident Taehyung is, no one could beat you at Mario Kart.
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"Cheater! TaehYUNG. Joon tell Tae to stop do- You're cheating!"
"It's literally impossible to cheat at this game!"
Yoongi leans back against the island counter, content to watch you crash and burn as Taehyung wins yet another race. His victory laugh is deep, almost unheard under the sound of your indignant screeching. The rest of the boys gathered to see what you were yelling about, finding the sight of your losing streak more than entertaining.
Yoongi had paused only for a moment, making a light snack that everyone could enjoy if they wanted to, though, it was only an excuse to make your favourite. He watches as you scoot to the edge of the couch, he can't see your expression, but he doesn't doubt that you're pouting with the cute furrow of your brows that comes with your concentration.
"Namjoon." You whine to your brother, though Namjoon's hands fly up into the air, phone and all.
"Nope, leave me out of this."
"But he's cheating!"
"I'm not! You just suck."
Yoongi picks up the tray of Hotteok as soon as everyone calms down, carrying it over to the group. He rests the tray down on the coffee table, careful to move quickly so he doesn't block the screen for too long.
"Oh! Sweet! Thanks Yoongi." Namjoon is the first to move, leaning forward to grab one.
"Wait, Joon. They're ho-" Yoongi snaps his mouth shut as Namjoon has already picked it up. He promptly drops it, pulling air through his teeth before blowing on his fingertips.
"Ow." Namjoon pouts at his fingers, rubbing them against the material of his grey sweats.
Yoongi sighs, "Be careful, would you?" He focuses on the TV screen, you're directly behind Taehyung, throwing a blue shell that sends him skidding off the road just in time for you to cross the finish line.
"Ha!" You push at Taehyung's shoulder in your excitement, sending him against Namjoon, who drops his Hotteok on the floor.
Namjoon stares forlornly at the pancake for a quiet moment, while you do a victory wiggle in your place, his misfortune ignored.
"Well there you go, who wants to play?" Taehyung asks, glancing around the room. Jungkook waves his arm, getting up from his space on the floor by Hoseok's legs to totter over. "Yoongi! Nice of you to volunteer."
"What? I didn't...?" Yoongi stares at Taehyung like he's sprouted a second head.
Taehyung ignores him.
"Hey I wanted to play..." Jungkook whines, Taehyung ignores him, too.
"Guys, let's go take a nap in the bunk room." He stretches his long legs over Namjoon's, pulling him up by the arms and shares a look with Jungkook who was likely, as confused as everyone else.
"I'm not tired, though. I napped when I got here." Hoseok pipes up, pressing his lips together when Jimin not so subtly nudges his side with an elbow.
"Let's go take a nap." Taehyung repeats, eyes narrowing slightly at Hoseok. He relents under Taehyung's gaze, sighing as he stands and drags Jimin and a complaining Jungkook.
Taehyung smiles brightly, dropping his hands heavily on Yoongi's shoulders. Yoongi doesn't know what the kid's playing at, but allows him to direct him to sit next to you.
Yoongi shares a look with Seokjin, who shrugs and stands to leave too, linking his arm with Namjoon, "I found a book I think you'd like Joon. But we have to look for it, it's lost in my bedroom somewhere..."
"Oh...Kay? Sure."
Their voices trail off as they head up the stairs, and Taehyung waves as he backs out of the living room, with a sweet - suspicious - boxy smile."Have fun you two!"
"Okay what the hell." Yoongi mutters, turning his head to look at you. You didn't look his way, staring dead ahead at the TV, fingers tapping lightly at the control.
He hears you take a breath, "Wanna play Toad?"
"Uh...sure."
A few minutes go by before Yoongi could finally relax, getting comfortable on the couch focusing on the game and not the fact that you're less than a metre away from him. You're nibbling on a piece of hotteok, a little too quiet for Yoongi's liking. He was expecting you to be yelling because he's way ahead of you.
"So...can I ask you a question?" Yoongi keeps his eyes on the screen as he asks, afraid to look at you because he might slip up or stop all together. He could already hear the little voice in his head screaming at him to shut up. "I just wanna ask about...what you wanted to tell me in the kitchen?"
Yoongi doesn't normally pry, people's business are theirs and not his. But curiosity is driving him up a wall and he just needs to know. Maybe he was being foolishly hopeful again, thinking that whatever it was had something to do with him. That's why you hadn't said anything when Taehyung interrupted, right?
Yoongi wonders what Taehyung's deal was, first he was being too clingy with you - not that it's any of his business - and now he's acting so painfully obvious; trying to get you both in a room alone. It didn't go over Yoongi's head, as not a lot of things do.
He purposely lets you win the race, though, your victory was unsounded as you set the controller aside. "Right... kitchen..."
"You know you could tell me anything, right?" Yoongi says softly, fingers just wanting to reach for yours, if just to offer comfort. He tucks them against his palm though, and into the pouch of his sweater for an extra precaution.
"Yeah I know," You smile faintly, "like old times right?"
"Yeah exactly, and I won't judge, you know that. So whatever it is, just say it."
Maybe his words were a bit harsh? You stiffen a bit in place, sighing through your nose before you turn to look at him. The determination from earlier is back in your eyes again, and Yoongi finds it impossible to hold your gaze, and he's the first to look away this time. Keep it together, will you?
He feels heat climbing his neck, racing to each of his cheeks and he hopes to god you just think he's going pink because it's cold in here. Seokjin really needs to get that crappy heater fixed so Yoongi can blame something if you ask about it.
"Okay so remember the time when you-"
"You two are being awfully quiet." Seokjin pokes his head into the room, staring at you both, but not too long, before his eyes find the tv screen. "Oh, Yoongi, did you win?"
"No..." Yoongi sighs, watching as you shut him out once more.
"Really? It was so quiet..."
You make an offended sound in the back of your throat, straightening a bit to glare at Seokjin.
"Yoongi, can you help me with the firepit?"
Yoongi follows Seokjin outside along the wrap-around porch, the sun was halfway in its descent, painting the sky in a flurry of soft colours. The lake glistens with amber crystals, catching the sun's sleepy gaze as it drifts slowly off behind the hills; almost out of sight.
The sunken fire pit was in the backyard, something Yoongi helped Seokjin install last year. He's quite proud of it really, he did most of the heavy lifting while Seokjin stood around telling him how and where he wanted things like a glorified dictator.
As Seokjin gathers the firewood and steps down the three steps to throw the logs into the firepit, Yoongi realises that he didn't actually need any help.
"Watching you try to talk to Y/n is so painful. Like that time I broke my arm but worse."
"I actually wasn't doing the talking." Yoongi grumbles, enjoying the satisfying crunch of gravel under his sandals as he walks over to the cushioned semi circle bench and sits to watch Seokjin do all the work. "You have terrible timing."
Seokjin scoffs, shaking his head, "It's a wonder Namjoon hasn't figured it out yet...you're so obvious."
Yoongi feels like Seokjin just isn't listening to him, continuing his mission of getting the fire going; his words completely ignored.
"Joon is oblivious sometimes."
"You are too."
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"Here, this one's longer."
Yoongi watches as Seokjin trades wires with Jungkook, patting him on the shoulder as the younger man happily sticks his marshmallow on the end of his wire. As usual when they're all together, there's laughter in the air, and the lightness Yoongi feels in his chest is something he misses when he's alone.
He watches the moon rise behind the trees, full and glowing brightly in the cloudless sky. The fire was warm, the burning wood crackling softly, sending little glowing sparks up into the air. Everyone had their own bag of marshmallows for toasting, with chocolate and biscuits for s'mores.
"This is nice," Hoseok comments, smacking Jimin's hand away from the smores he was setting up, tucking them into the corner of a small bowl he brought. Jimin gets one anyway; sneaking it away while Hoseok wasn't looking.
"Yeah, we haven't done this in forever." Namjoon sticks the wire with his marshmallow a little too close to the fire.
"It's gonna burn if you do it like that." Yoongi reaches over and raises Namjoon's hand higher.
"When it's burnt it's the best, though."
"Are you a sadist?" Taehyung frowns at Jungkook, "it's better when it's just a little toasty."
"It won't melt inside if you play kiss and tell with the fire. You gotta burn it." Jungkook's marshmallow was just on the edge of charred and Yoongi watches with mild disgust as he smushes the thing between pieces of chocolate and unsweetened biscuits. He shoves the entire thing in his mouth and closes his eyes, moaning around the treat like it's the best thing he's ever tasted.
"Um? There's no way you're enjoying that." Hoseok didn't try to hide how he felt about it, narrowing his eyes at Jungkook. "Stop moaning like that!"
"I wasn't moaning!"
"Yes you were!"
Yoongi shakes his head, turning to look at you, who sat next to him, eating out of your own bag of marshmallows. The wire Seokjin had given you is still in your lap, untouched.
"Want me to make one for you?" He asks softly, already sticking a marshmallow on his wire. He hangs it over the fire and twirls it so it gets nice and brown, "Do you want it with the cookies?"
"Yeah, thanks." You smile sweetly at him, and Yoongi feels his heart stutter in his chest.
Once he's finished assembling the s'more, he hands it over to you. You take a bite out of it, and Yoongi struggles to breathe the very next second at the sound you make, turning his head swiftly to stare into the fire as though it would save him.
"Dude, Y/n. That's gotta be the best s'more ever created." Taehyung says, snickering from across the firepit, "Yoongi make me one, too!"
"You can make it yourself." Yoongi's cheeks flush, passing you a bottle of water when you choke.
"I wanna make happy noises, too."
When the fire in the pit smolders and the embers of the wood burn orange, everyone is ready to call it a night. The younger ones escape to the second floor bunk room first, Seokjin and Hoseok right behind them.
Hoseok is trying to convince Seokjin to flip a coin for the master bedroom while they go up the stairs.
"Owner's rights, Hobi."
"You have any idea what it's like to share a bathroom with those three? Have a heart!"
Their voices fade, and Yoongi is left standing in the entryway with you and Namjoon, feeling awkward and not quite sure what he should do with his hands. So he shoves them in the pockets of his sweatpants, and drags his feet towards the kitchen, suddenly thirsty.
You and Namjoon are talking in hushed tones, too quiet for him to hear, but he pays it no mind, it isn't his business, really.
You come in a second later, moving to the fridge just as Yoongi moves past you, and he's a little curious, a little worried, because you look a bit upset. There's a frown tugging at the corner of your mouth as you crack open a bottle of water.
"Everything okay?" Yoongi asks softly, fingers just itching to reach out for you, but he holds his own bottled water a little tighter instead.
"Yeah...Joon is just..." You shake your head, "Are you staying up to watch the movie with us?"
Your change of subject didn't surprise Yoongi, you've been doing that a lot today. He lifts his shoulder in a shrug, "I might...do you want me to?"
Yoongi would give you anything you ask for right now, hell, he'd find a way to pull the moon from the sky if you asked it of him.
"Huh?" Your eyes seems panicked for a second as they dart away to stare off elsewhere. "If you want to, it's up to you really."
"Then I'll watch." He gives an easy smile, "Are you sure you're okay?" He steps closer, a hand meeting your cheek gently, unintentionally and without Yoongi's consent. Simply out of his need to offer you comfort when he can, and maybe it's his wishful thinking, maybe it's that stupid thing called hope again; Yoongi swears you lean into his touch. Your skin is warm, like cooling tea on a winter's morning.
"I'm fine," You're staring at his lips as you say this, and Yoongi's heart skips before it gallops, threatening to burst from his chest. Maybe he's imagining it, but you move a step closer, and he does too, leaning down a bit to meet your height, "I just wanted to.."
Just another inch, if he moves just an inch closer. You're so close now that your exhales mingles with his in the space between you both, he could feel the chill seeping off the bottled water you hold, pressed against his stomach where your hands linger.
Yoongi decides he's not going to be awkward right now, he's going to be brave and just do this. He's going to kiss you and pour everything he feels into it, and hope - prays - that you feel it too.
"Ahem."
You and Yoongi both spring apart like teenagers caught doing something they shouldn't. Yoongi's cheeks are heating up too quickly for him to stop it, and yours are too, and he doesn't want to turn around because he knows who's behind him.
Think fast, Yoongi. Think.
"I hope your eye feels better. You should kiss - rinse! Rinse with warm water. 'Cause you know...germs...could uh.... get in there.... "
Really? Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut, already anticipating his death when he turns to face the grim reaper behind him.
Namjoon stands in the kitchen doorway, eyebrow raised, doing that thing he does with his jaw. Yoongi feels a little faint, looking at the ugly painting Taehyung convinced Seokjin to buy and hang up in the living room over his head.
"Y/n had something in her eye and I was just checking." He looks back at you and you look just as confused as he's feeling, smiling though, as if his misery is funny to you. "R-remember. Warm water, okay?"
With that he leaves, not looking at Namjoon, who's gaze he could feel at the back of his head.
"Joon, are you serious?" Your voice was a harsh whisper, a little loud in the silence of the kitchen.
Yoongi walks away, hands in his pockets, not catching Namjoon's reply as he makes his escape. What the fuck was that?
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"Let's watch The Conjuring."
"Fuck that." Hoseok puts his palms up, "Unless you're willing to cuddle me to sleep, we're not watching that movie."
A chorus of groans fills the room, "For the love of God, just pick something already. Not you, Jungkook."
"It's not my fault Hobi's a coward."
Hoseok's reaches over Seokjin to smack the back of Jungkook's head, who immediately retaliates by hitting Seokjin instead. The three of them trade playful smacks for a moment, while Taehyung and Jimin argue about which movie would be best to watch.
"Okay let's just all pick something." You say, pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers, "Rock, paper, scissors, whoever wins; we'll watch."
Terrible idea really, everyone knows Jungkook is going to win.
Yoongi opts out, not really caring what goes up on the screen. He's sitting with his hands under his thighs, trying to keep them warm but at the same time, keeping them from doing something stupid. You're right next to him on the couch, he's once again hyper aware of your closeness, the way your arm would brush his every time you moved, the scent of your shampoo, soft and fruit scented.
He focuses on the way a single tear slips from Hoseok's eye, the way he tries to make himself as small as possible on the other couch next to Seokjin with a white knuckled grip on the latter's sweater. Jungkook triumphs in his endeavour of beating everyone who played against him, laughing, carefree and malicious as he pulls up The Conjuring.
Hoseok keeps his head tucked behind Seokjin's shoulder for most of the movie, clinging to him and jumping at every loud sound from the TV; poor guy's going through it.
Yoongi is just barely watching, staring at the screen, but not really following along - he has no idea what's going on. Mind too distracted with the fact that you chose to sit next to him and not next to anyone else. He's still reeling from the incident in the kitchen, glancing at Namjoon who was stuffing his face with popcorn, form outlined in the glow of the tv.
He could feel the warmth of your thigh through his sweatpants, and every little movement you'd make at the jumpscares and the loud sounds.
Hoseok dips halfway through, going up the darkened upstairs hallway with his phone torch on. Jungkook had the audacity to fall asleep, drooling on Seokjin's shoulder and mumbling unintelligible words; unbothered.
"I'm going to bed." Yoongi says to you, not really sleepy, but not interested in the movie enough to stay and watch. You grab at his hand and he pauses, "What?"
"You're leaving me here to suffer?"
"You're a big girl, you can take it." He shrugs, patting your hand before getting up. "Night guys."
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Yoongi lays quietly in his bed, staring up at the ceiling with a frown, unable to sleep. He turns his head, looking at the clock that blinks sleepily back at him and sighs, it's getting later into the night and sleep continues to evade him.
The house seemed to have quieted, the sound of Jimin and Taehyung arguing about who gets to use the upstairs bathroom first stopped a while ago, though, the stillness only allowed Yoongi's mind to wander off. He wonders if you're sleeping yet, he knows you have trouble sometimes, a common curse you both share.
He wonders about what you and Namjoon argued about, if it had anything to do with him. God he hopes not. The last thing he wants is for you and your brother to fall out because of him.
There's a soft knock on his door, quiet enough that he almost misses it. Just almost.
Yoongi gets out of bed, dragging his feet to the door. He isn't completely shocked to find you on the other side, looking like you're two seconds from walking away. Your hand still hovers, eyes impossibly big when they meet his in the soft light of the downstairs hallway.
"Hi." You say, softly, hand falling and gripping at the hem of a tee shirt he's sure belongs to Namjoon.
"...Hi?" Yoongi's brows furrow, not quite sure what you're doing knocking on his door at one in the morning, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wanted to talk to you..." He lets you shuffle into his room, and you walk over to the bed while he closes the door.
"What I wanted to tell you earlier..." You sit on his bed, a good distance away, enough to leave the space between you both cold and Yoongi longing for you to come closer. You seem to be struggling, staying quiet for a little too long.
"Hey." Yoongi calls, "Whatever it is, you can tell me, okay? You know I'd never judge you." He feels the need to repeat himself, just in case you need to hear it again.
"You will." You glance at him, bottom lip caught between your teeth, and you shake your head, "This was stupid..."
"Hey, hey." Yoongi grabs your wrist, stopping you from getting up. "How about I look over there?" He points at a random spot beside him with a thumb, "I won't look at you and you can just say it." He turns for good measure, staring at the wall on the far side of the room.
You're silent for a moment, a long moment that has Yoongi wondering. Maybe he should stop pestering you about it, bury his curiosity - his concern - in a box somewhere to forget about. He's been on your back about it for most of the day, granted, the universe apparently didn't want you to say anything, not with the way you were constantly interrupted every time you tried to talk about it. He should take that as a sign and drop it all together.
"You okay back there?" Yoongi asks softly, turning his head slightly, but not facing you.
"I wasn't really drunk." You say
Confused, Yoongi's brows furrow, "Huh?" He turns to face you, "What are you talking about?"
"The night you picked me up outside that bar." You're not looking at him, instead, you're looking down at your hands in your lap. The events of that night comes rushing to the front of Yoongi's mind, the way you kissed him, how soft your lips were.
"Wait, so..." Something in Yoongi's ears was buzzing, loud and distracting, as realization dawned, he feels a heat rising from his toes. "You-" he stands quickly from the bed, now that he knows exactly why you've been trying to say all day, he thinks he just might lose it.
"Why'd you leave without saying anything?" It's the first thing out of his mouth and Yoongi wishes he'd just shut up.
"I was embarrassed that I just kissed you out of nowhere like that. And you pushed me away, what else was I supposed to do?" You say in a rush, "I know you only see me as Namjoon's little sister."
"I don't." Yoongi says, and at your pause, his palms start to sweat, heart kicking against his ribcage. "Why did you kiss me that night?"
"You probably think it was because I was drunk. That wasn't it." You look him in the eye, "I wanted to."
Yoongi takes a breath and a moment to think carefully about what he's about to say, "Y/n." He runs his palms against his thighs, bottom lip caught between his teeth. "You were drunk. Just out of a relationship and you only kissed me because you were hurting, that's it."
"That's not-" You sigh loudly, pursing your lips and staring at the ceiling, "Do you even know why I dated that idiot? It's because you..." You trail off, picking at a loose thread on your t shirt.
Yoongi waits, giving you the moment you need to gather your words.
"I dated him so that I could forget you." You say softly, not looking at him, and Yoongi feels like he's buffering, like a frozen computer screen. Just standing there as he processes your words, it's taking a while to sink in, or they have, Yoongi is only trying to understand them. "I thought that dating him you would..."
Yoongi sighs, "Tell me something, yeah?"
You nod quietly, waiting. Yoongi watches you for a moment, he's more curious now, "How long?"
He watches as you fluster, eyes darting around to look at anywhere that isn't him. The way your fingers pinch at the dark sheets on the bed, you draw your bottom lip between your teeth and Yoongi just wants to kiss you. But as he's been doing all day, he gives you a moment; Yoongi is nothing but patient.
"Since we met?"
Is that a question? There Yoongi goes buffering again. He blinks a couple of times, mind going through the motions of his forced epiphany. The moments when you used to follow him and Namjoon around, all the staying up late texting as though you both were more than you were at the time.
"I really really like you and I tried to show you that night, but well..."
You get up from his bed with a sigh and step towards him and Yoongi tries his best not to take a step back, he allows you to reach him, to stand close enough for him to touch. He's panicking, on the inside, a voice in the back of his mind telling him that this is a terrible idea and that he should probably stop you.
He can't bring himself to, words stuck in his throat.
You're closer now, Yoongi could feel the warmth of you, and he swears this time that he'll be brave. So he kisses you first, fingers tangling in your hair, a hand gripping your waist to pull you even closer. He feels your hands against his chest as his eyes close, your lips are warm and as soft as he remembers, and he groans at the taste of you. His tongue finds yours, slowly, sliding against yours and he wants to savour this, commit your every sound to memory. Yoongi groans when your hands slide into his hair, tugging lightly at the nape of his neck.
He pulls back for air, lungs trying to take in as much air as possible, too quickly, he feels lightheaded. But that could just be because of you. He presses a fleeting kiss at the corner of your mouth, nose brushing against yours lightly. He's pretty sure this is what being high feels like, the rushing of his blood in his ears and the tingling at the tips of his fingers.
"You're gonna end me." Namjoon will too. The thought alone was enough to make Yoongi pause, realise the grip he had on your hips. One of his hands is just shy of the exposed skin under your tee shirt, hyper aware of the way your chest is pressed to his, your lips on his neck.
Namjoon is going to kill him.
He feels your teeth nip at the skin of his neck and he hisses between his teeth, your tongue follows. He pulls away, pushing you from him gently to take a couple steps back. He sees the question in your eyes, the soft furrow of your brows. He sighs through his nose, thinking about how much of a terrible idea this was, and how Namjoon would very likely drown him in the lake.
"Y/n...we can't." This was the reason he pushed you away the first time. Yoongi likes to think ahead, think about all the outcomes of a situation before he walks into it. This could go two ways, and Yoongi's mind can only focus on the worst scenario. What if this goes wrong? What if doing this now ruins everything, he'd not only lose you, but Namjoon as well.
He sees your pout and he looks away, wondering why he can't just let it happen and deal with the consequences later. But Yoongi isn't like that. He likes to sit and over think things.
"Is this about Namjoon?"
Yoongi startles at your question, jolting a bit as he drops his hands from your waist, fingers curling against his palm. He's not as good at hiding his thoughts as he presumed, or you just knew him too well for his own good. He answers your question with a silent nod, not meeting your eyes in the darkness of his room.
"Yoongi. He wouldn't care. Namjoon can't do anything, what I do isn't his business."
Yoongi goes to argue that that's not the point. You were so off the mark that he almost laughed, Namjoon wouldn't care what you thought. He wouldn't be able to look past Yoongi even thinking about touching you. So much for being brave.
You sigh, and Yoongi catches the hurt in the sound.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't push me away again, please." You reach for him and Yoongi doesn't stop you, because he can; he doesn't want to. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to."
"Are you sure?" He asks seriously, catching your wrist, ducking his head so that he could meet your eyes properly, "Tell me now that this is okay because when I start I won't stop."
You barely got to nod before Yoongi was kissing you again, pouring everything he had into it, hands moving down to grip at your ass in your cotton shorts. He takes careful steps, walking you backwards towards the bed.
"Just let me take care of you, yeah?" Yoongi gently pushes you back onto the bed, taking his time to strip you out of your clothes. Not letting his worries and doubts stop him from telling you how beautiful you are, or from kissing every inch of skin revealed to his eyes.
He kisses his way down your thighs once your shorts and panties are out of the way, stopping every now and then to nibble at the soft flesh. Your little sighs and moans are something he wants to record and keep with him forever, even though he wouldn't need them to remember.
He touches you lightly, just to tease, sliding his hands down your thighs, eyes locked on your glistening pussy. He wants to draw this out, ignoring your impatient whine and the rise of your hips at his touch. He's waited so long for this, wanting to taste you beyond the kiss you shared so long ago, Yoongi wants to make you beg. Reduce you to a mumbling mess of incoherent words, but at the same time, he too is impatient.
He shushes you gently at your call of his name, fingers parting your folds and watching the way your pussy clenches around nothing at his gaze. "So pretty, baby."
It was your only warning before he dove in, licking a board stripe from your engerance to your clit, focusing the tip of his tongue at the bundle of nerves. You suck in a sharp breath, hand tugging at his hair and it only spurs Yoongi on. He sucks gently in your clit, tongue moving in slow figures and dips a finger into your wet heat. He groans at the way your cunt just sucks him in, arousal dripping down his hand and he adds another, curling them against the soft spot within you.
He looks up at you, past your heaving chest to your fucked out face. Your parted lips, furrowed brows, glazed eyes looking back at him.
"Yoon--fuck."
Yoongi groans lowly in his throat, pressing his tongue flat against your clit, mouth flooding with your taste. He'd stay there forever if you gave him the chance, listening to the way your breath hitches and the sound of your moans and the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He wraps his lips around your clit and sucks harshly. He drives his tongue inside you, and the whine that leaves you has him rutting his hips against the bed. He can't get enough of your taste, the way your pussy clenches he's around his fingers.
"You taste so good, baby." Yoongi loves the way you grip at his hair, the way you tug sends tingles down his spine. He thrusts two fingers inside you, crooking them right, hitting the spot that sends your moans into a higher octave. He can't be bothered with how loud you're being, or if anyone's awake right now and would know exactly what you're both up to. You don't seem to care either, too lost in the pleasure; moaning his name.
"F-fuck, right there," you whimper, thighs tensing around his head. Yoongi groans as he obeys, crooking his fingers and rubbing at the spot that makes you sing so sweetly. His lips never leave your clit, tongue swirling around the swollen nub in figure eights. Dragging his fingers within the tightness of your dripping heat, he could tell you're close, feeling the way your thighs tremble. "Fu-"
Your back arches off the sheets, and Yoongi moans when your release gushes out of you and into his mouth. He stays there and takes it all, until you push at him instead of pull and Yoongi lets up, running his hands up your sides in an attempt to soothe as you tremble in the after wave. "You doing okay?"
"Yeah," you squeak out and Yoongi chuckles, getting up to sit back on his thighs. He watches you for a moment, watching the way your chest heaves with your every breath, your hair a tangled mess against his pillows. His eyes trail your form, down to the mess between your thighs that twitched at his attention.
"Sure? You good to go on?" He asks to be sure, squeezing your hip gently. You nod, reaching for him and he goes without complaint, caging you within his arms and kisses you slowly. His tongue tangles with yours, and he grinds his hips down against yours, seeking friction for his aching cock, dampening the front of his sweatpants.
"Fuck that feels so good." He groans, sucking bruises into the soft skin of your neck. He angles his hips so that the length of his cock rubs directly against your clit, shuddering, it feels so good and Yoongi can't stop. He slows down though, because he could feel his release racing down his spine. "Fuck, baby."
"Wanna..." You push at his shoulders, "Wanna suck your cock." Your hands are at the drawstrings of his sweatpants already, tugging, "Wanna taste you, too."
"Fuck, okay."
Yoongi gets off the bed to shuck off his sweats, cock springing free, red and pulsing, precum beading at the tip. He chuckles at your facial expression, eyes surprised even though your bottom lip is caught between your teeth. He notes the way your eyes follow the movement of his hand, he grips his cock and squeezes, thumb catching the translucent drop and dragging it down his shaft.
"You're big."
"Good for you, then?" He pumps his shaft slowly, whispering curses under his breath.
You roll your eyes, "It wouldn't have mattered if-"
"Shh." Yoongi shushes and crooks the fingers of his free hand at you, "Come here."
He leans down to grab a pillow behind you, pausing, "Where's comfortable for you?"
"Wherever you want me," you say sweetly, and it would've been cute with the way you smile, if it wasn't for the look in your eyes. For a moment Yoongi feels like he's in for way more than he bargained for, with you looking so pretty, alluring, like a succubus ready to siphon his soul. Such a far contrast from the you of earlier, fumbling with your words and flushing under his gaze.
"This isn't about me." Yoongi swallows, "Are you kneeling or do you wanna stay on the bed?"
"I'll stay here." You make yourself comfortable, propping up on your elbows, and Yoongi passes you the pillow to help you reach his hips in your position. You slide the pillow under your chest, already reaching for him before he steps closer and Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath when your smaller hand wraps around his cock.
You mirror his motions from before, pumping slowly and Yoongi's not sure if you're teasing him or not. Tongue snaking out to kitten lick at the head, you swirl it around before taking it into your mouth.
"Ah fuck." Yoongi throws his head back, a hand finding your hair as you take him slowly to the back of your throat. He feels your exhales against his tummy, just barely, his mind too muddled to focus on anything but the warmth of your throat and the wiggling of your tongue under his shaft. "You're doing so good, baby."
You hum a gurgle of a word Yoongi would probably never decipher, the vibrations around the head of his cock has him tugging lightly on your hair and pulling out and away from your mouth, breathing hard. He'd be damned if he comes so quickly, that shit will probably haunt him for the rest of his life.
There's a string of spit connecting your lips to his cock, and you smile like the minx you are, not letting him get far enough away before you're taking his cock into your mouth again, bobbing your head at a quick pace. Yoongi could cry, he's trying so hard, there's sweat dripping from his hair, you're pulling him closer, taking him deeper and his eyes roll back.
"Shit. Slow down." His words trail off in a moan, and he's unable to help the rolling of his hips, thrusting his cock into the warmth of your throat, gently, mindful of your breathing. You swallow and he swears, thighs tensing and he stops, pulling away again to release a stuttered exhale. Leaning down, he kisses you, licking into your mouth with haste, tasting himself on your tongue. "Wanna fuck you." He breathes against your lips, releasing your hair for you to scoot back up the bed.
He's quick to follow, slotting his hips between your thighs, stopping to map bruises against the skin of your chest. He laves his tongue over a nipple, fingers toying with the other, he takes the pebbled bud into his mouth just to hear you make a pretty sound.
"Yoongi." You whine his name, and Yoongi doesn't waste another second, hooking one of your knees over his elbow, other hand guiding his cock to your wet cunt. He stays there for a moment, tapping his cock against your clit just to watch you squirm. You raise your hips to meet his teasing thrusts and Yoongi chuckles, easing back to slowly drag his cock down your slit until it prods at your entrance.
He slowly presses into you, watching the way your pussy sucks him in, arousal coating his cock. "You're so fucking tight." Yoongi stills, gripping your hips, watching you through a lust filled haze. He thrusts shallowly into you until he bottoms out and stills, free hand squeezing your hip gently. He swipes his tongue over his thumb, pressing the digit against your clit to rub in slow circles, "Relax for me, baby."
When he feels your body relax around him, he moves, setting a slow pace to start, leaning down to slot his lips over yours, swallowing the sounds you made. You arms wrap around his neck, nails scraping red, angry lines at his shoulder blades. The pain only heightens the pleasure he feels, crossing his eyes and curling his toes.
"Fuck." Yoongi bites gently on your earlobe, "You're so good for me baby. So fucking good. Taking my cock so well."
He knows you're getting tired of his pace. You're lifting your hips to meet his thrust, moaning helplessly into his ears. "Want more, baby?" He leans back in time to catch your nod, kiss swollen bottom lip caught between your teeth. He grips your hips again, keeping you from moving, and slows down just to watch you squirm and beg for him.
"Ple-fuck. Jus-" your words cut off with a gasp, hands gripping Yoongi's wrists where he holds you. He sets a punishing pace, the sound of his thighs hitting your ass loud in the quiet of the room. "Oh F-fuck, Yoongi."
"This what you wanted, hmm?" He tilts his head at you, one eyebrow raised, sliding a hand up your sweat slicked skin to cup your jaw, you take his thumb into your mouth and Yoongi's cock pulses with the need for his release. He smirks, pressing his thumb down on your tongue, pace never faltering, his nerves are on the edge of frying, orgasm tingling at the end of his spine. Pulling his hand away from your mouth and presses his thumb against your clit, looking down at the way his ccok, covered in your arousal, disappears inside you.
Yoongi groans, the sound rumbling in his chest, feeling your pussy clenching around his cock, squeezing tight as your breath hitches. "Ah--fuck I'm gonna-"
"Yeah? Come for me, baby." As your body tenses and tremble, Yoongi chases his end, hips stuttering and he gasps, cock throbbing in time with his heartbeat as his release spills into you. "Oh fuck."
Head light and ears ringing, Yoongi kisses you, it's more tongue than anything else, but he doesn't care. He does his best to keep the full weight of him off you, peppering kisses along your jaw. He feels your every breath and his sweat cools on his skin, "You okay?"
There's sweat burning his eyes and he squints at you as you push his hair back and away from his face, you're smiling and giggling shyly. Like if he told you a joke and didn't just fuck you nine ways to hell. "I'm perfect."
He presses a kiss to your cheek, leaning back up again to carefully slip his softening cock out of your still pulsing walls. His release comes flowing out not two seconds after, he watches with his bottom lip between his teeth, cock giving an interested twitch.
Yoongi gets up before he starts something again, because he just might die trying to go through a second round so quickly. "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He looks around on the floor for where he left his sweatpants, he puts them on and shuffles quickly to the door. He only realises just how quiet it is now that it's quiet, he realises how loud the two of you were being.
He goes back to you with a warm, damp washrag, finding you close to falling asleep. He cleans you up anyway, mindful of your sensitivity.
When he's done he watches you for a moment, fingers finding yours first. Mindlessly he fiddles with them and reaches for his discarded shirt and passes it to you, releases your hand only for you to put it on. "We probably could've done this sooner." You say softly, smiling.
Yoongi tilts his head, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, "What? The sex or...?"
You lightly swat his arm, "You know what I mean."
"I do." Yoongi presses a kiss to your wrist, sighing when you gently lay that palm against his cheek. He believes that action speaks volumes and there's no need for words, but he realises that he hadn't said it back to you earlier. Though, he was very much distracted and his thoughts were absent. "I like you too...alot...just in case that wasn't clear."
He shifts on the bed to be closer to you and leans his head on your shoulder, "I'm sorry it took me so long. It takes me a while to come to terms with things. I overthink and make things harder for myself, I wasn't sure if this was the right way to go."
You hum softly, breath tickling his ears, "It's okay. I suck too. We could've avoided the run around if I'd just told you."
"Yeah, you're terrible. I had no idea what to do with your smoke signals." Yoongi raises his head, chuckling. Leaning over, he presses a kiss to your forehead and tilts your chin to kiss you softly. "Can I take you out? When we get back."
"Yeah, I'd like that."
Yoongi smiles, feeling like a kid and nudges you softly, "Go pee. I'll strip the sheets, go on."
He watches as you walk on wobbly legs till you reach the door and pause, turning your head to watch him with wide eyes, "you don't think they heard us, do you?"
"Nah, they're asleep."
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"Dude, whoever was watching their porn so loudly last night, fuck you. Honestly, the lack of respect in this household."
It's the first thing Jimin says when he comes downstairs the next morning, looking like he'd slept on the wrong side of the bed. Eyes swollen as he takes the coffee Seokjin offers and the sympathetic pat to his shoulder.
Yoongi ignores the conversation, even though you looked like you were about to combust next to him. Seokjin was giving him a look from his spot by the stove, looking ridiculous in the pink apron he favoured.
"Yeah the walls are so thin in here it's wild." Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows at Yoongi and you choose that moment to choke on your sip of orange juice.
Taehyung pauses, fork halfway to his mouth with a strip of bacon hanging for dear life at the end of it. He looks between the both of you for a quiet moment, strong brows furrowed until something lights in his eyes. "Oh my god."
Jimin, who's slumping in his seat, looking like he wanted nothing more than to crawl his way back upstairs perks up at Taehyung's words, "What?"
Yoongi stares silently at Taehyung, daring him to open his big mouth and say exactly what he definitely wants to say.
"Nothing. Nothing...." Taehyung waves his hand with the fork, sending the piece of bacon flying off it and into his glass of orange juice. Jimin watches on with disgust as Taehyung fishes the piece out of the cup and tosses it into his mouth.
"The bin is right there."
"Are you drinking the juice?"
Yoongi runs circles into the skin of your knee, as Taehyung and Jimin bicker.
"Oh, Joon. Come eat." Seokjin wanders over to the entrance and Yoongi just barely catches the sight of Namjoon passing by, saying that he was going for a walk first. Hoseok and Jungkook enter just then, finding their spots at the table as Seokjin sets plates for them.
"I'll be right back." Yoongi says softly, pressing a kiss to your temple, leaving Jimin sputtering into his coffee. He pushes his chair back and stands, catching the way Hoseok squints at you.
He points, not saying anything before he leans around Taehyung to smack at Jimin's arm, "I told you so! You owe me fifty."
"Bold of you to assume I came here with money."
"You guys made a bet?" You ask, incredulous.
"Yeah. It's either someone was watching porn, or someone was getting it. You and Yoongi are the only ones not sharing a room..."
Hoseok voice fades as Yoongi shuts the front door behind him. It's cold, mist and dew clinging to the world and Yoongi regrets leaving his sweater in his room. He rubs his hands over his arms, the long sleeves of his t shirt barely keeping him warm.
Namjoon's already walking, a good distance from the house near the lake's edge. Yoongi takes his time walking over, gravel crunching under his feet, he slots his hands into his pockets to keep them warm.
When he reaches Namjoon, the younger man is crouched down, cooing at something on the ground. There's a little crab scurrying around trying to get away from Namjoon's curious fingers.
"Just let the little guy be." Yoongi announces himself, "Thing's probably scared shitless."
"I just wanna pick him up, though," Namjoon continues to try, sighing when the little crab escapes into the lake. "Oh well.." He dusts his hands and stands up, finally looking over at Yoongi.
"Aren't you cold?" He asks, and remembering he's standing out in a tshirt and sweats, Yoongi shivers. Namjoon looks all cozy in his beige sweater and matching beanie.
"I wanted to run something by you." Yoongi says, looking out at the lake and the way the light of the morning sun glitters against the still waters. He shoves his cold hands into the pockets of his pants, rubbing his thumb over his curled fingers. He realised that this is going to be as hard as trying to talk to you, and Namjoon waits patiently, watching Yoongi with eyes that seemed to know too much.
"Uh.." Yoongi chances a look, glancing at Namjoon who's just as quiet as him, waiting. "Look man, Y/n and I had a talk last night."
"Right?" Namjoon gives him a look, a confused one, head tilting and all.
Yoongi takes a breath and decides to go headfirst, though he takes a step back from Namjoon to be sure. "I really like your sister and we talked about it and I just wanted you to know that."
The uncomfortable look that morphs Namjoon's features wasn't what Yoongi was expecting, especially since the look stays there for a while as Namjoon just stares at him. He raises a hand to scratch at his cheek, "Dude."
"What?"
"Are you saying that I owe Hoseok fifty dollars?"
"...Eh?" Yoongi's confused, and it feels as though he's spent this whole weekend running on pure confused energy. Namjoon shakes his head, laughing in a way that makes Yoongi take another step back.
"I know. You two are terrible at hiding shit." Namjoon points his thumb over his shoulder, back at the house where he glances. From where he stands, he could see Seokjin, Taehyung and Jimin peering out through the window. "I know my sister, and I know my best friend. You guys are adults, so, really, there's nothing I can do but watch it happen."
Namjoon shrugs, and Yoongi flushes, cheeks heating. "But when I met her...you...you gave me a look."
"I was trying to ask if you wanted water!"
"That was not a 'do you want water' look, Joon."
Namjoon reaches over and pats his shoulder softly, hand lingering, "You have my blessing, if that's what you came to ask for." He smiles, eyes disappearing, but Yoongi's relief is cut short when he tries to shift away, Namjoon's grip tightening. "Though, she's still my little sister. I know where you live."
Yoongi chuckles, a little scared.
"Good talk." Namjoon nods to himself, "I'm going inside. Get out of the cold!"
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Tagging: @madbutgloriouspond @blog-name-idk @taestefully-in-luv @btsstan12 @hamsterclaw @allhobbitstoisengard @dontstoptime @doneimnida @here2bbtstrash
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slashervoid · 11 days
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I WISH YOU WERE A BOY [bestfriend!ellie]
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(id love to credit whoever made this divider but irdk who did i’m sorry 😭😭)
warnings: (not proofread i wrote this in like 15 mins lol) ANGST ANGST ANGST, hints at religious trauma, religious parents, internalized homophobia if you squint
author’s note: i wrote this based off of a situationship i had 😭 def not projecting…… also y’all should totally listen to keep on loving you by cigarettes after sex (i listened to it while writing this so hopefully it’ll set the tone)
best friend!ellie who you met for the first time in your sophmore year of highschool. you had just transferred to a small all girls catholic high school in the outskirts of austin, texas having had just moved states. you were quiet and completely out of ellie’s extroverted vicinity of a personality. yet, they say opposites attract and you two were pulled together like magnets.
best friend!ellie who taught you the ropes of everything you knew. from your music taste down to the smallest complimentary accessories you infiltrated into your style. you were completely immersed with love for her that it nearly swallowed you whole. anyone you ever met would have to know her to truly understand you. y’all were just that close.
best friend!ellie who comforted you the first time you got your heart broken by some stupid boy you met at a football game. he began to pursue you and practically begged to take you out. “be ready at 7” he proposed with boyish charm and you couldn’t help but to be swooned, as any naïve teenage girl would. yet 8 rolled around the corner, and the only thing sweeping you off your feet was the feeling of rain droplets beating down on your hair and a pit of embarrassment that coiled in your stomach as you stood in a pretty white dress on the corner of a cafe. the only person to show up for you was ellie who was at your beck and call whenever you needed her.
best friend!ellie who sat with you in her car for nearly 30 minutes as the rain beat down on her windowsills. she wiped away at the mascara mixed tears on your cheek and an unfamiliar feeling began to unravel in your gut as she went on a rant about how perfect you were and how you didn’t need the guy whose name you couldn’t even seem to recall anymore.
best friend!ellie who was the only girl you realized made you feel this way and it scared you. you always knew you weren’t completely straight but this set everything in stone for you. yet, admitting it out loud was the last thing you wanted to do. it would only make the situation all the more real to you and you didn’t know how much of that you could handle.
best friend!ellie who made your stomach churn every single time she’d bring up another girl romantically in front of you. she’d ramble about some girl she was talking to and you couldn’t do anything but suck it up and pretend like you were happy for her but deep down you hated it. all of it. all you wanted to do was bury yourself in the grave you dug because you didn’t want to ruin anything between the two of you. ellie williams was the only person who had enough of you to completely tear you apart.
best friend!ellie who read your body language better than anyone else. your parents were spewing unsolicited comments about some taboo magazine about a same-sex couple one day while she was at your house. her head was rested atop your leg as you tried to drown out your parent’s conversation. your gaze fell on her and you smiled apologetically wanting to block out the rest of the world in that moment.
best friend!ellie who you smoked your first joint with as y’all snuck out of your parent’s house and to a nearby park across town. giggling and low eyed, y’all talked about the stupidest things as y’all shared a pair of cheap earbuds. the moon gleamed brighter than it usually did that night and cigarettes after sex blared through the earbuds lodged in your ears as you realize then you were in love with ellie williams.
best friend!ellie who laughed and asked why you were staring at her that way. “i wish you were a boy.” you said without thinking. maybe it was the way the light reflected off her freckled face or the way the drug coursed through your system, but the words slipped faster out your mouth before your brain could process them. her brows furrow and green eyes dance over you features searching for any type of emotion that emitted from your expression. “what?”
best friend!ellie who kept trying to get in touch with you ever since that night. you were relentlessly drowning yourself in shame and embarrassment. the remembrance of what you said made you feel foolish. but no amount shame can mask the guilt you felt every time you remembered the way ellie’s face fell as soon as you said what you did. you couldn’t say anything else after. all you did was brush it off and insist y’all go back home. the walk back was silent and tension brewed between the proximity of the two of you.
best friend!ellie who called you again at 11 pm in attempt to talk about that night. you were about to decline it but your guilt ate away at you. you agreed to meet her on your porch to talk. you planned on apologizing for both saying what you did and avoiding it. “i didn’t mean it. i was just high.” the excuse played on a loop inside your head. you were set on just leaving the situation and your feelings for her in a puddle of voided nothingness but closure didn’t come easy for you when she was actually in front of you now.
best friend!ellie who sat patiently outside your house. she was clad in a black sweatshirt, washed out blue jeans, and the same dirty converses she wore daily. she spared you a familiar smile as you sat down next to her trading her one as well.
best friend!ellie who watched as you began to fumble over your explanation in a panic. “i don’t know why i said that. god, i’m so stupid i’m so sorry.” you sniffled and gentle hands pulled you into a soft hug. for the first time in a week, you let yourself fall apart in her embrace and somehow, everything you thought you felt began to disperse. it was in that moment, that you accepted you would’ve loved her either way. whether she was a boy or a girl. it didn’t matter to you as long as you got the same soul in whatever body she was in. pulling away from her arms, your hand snakes over the nape of her neck as you press a kiss on her lips and she returns the energy reverently.
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shimmershy · 1 year
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Thunderstorms (Undertale Fanfic)
The fanfic I kept talking about is finally finished! >:) I haven't written a full story in ages, so it's not the best thing in the world, and I feel like the pacing leaves a lot to be desired, but I enjoyed writing it. Also, I came up with the idea in like... 2020, so I'm mostly just glad I finished it at all lol.
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Summary:
The rain outside your window is loud, but your thoughts are louder. Now that everyone's settled onto the surface, even you, the past is behind you for good, but your bittersweet memories are endlessly trying to crawl their way out of the recesses of your mind to take hold of you again. You don't think you would be able to handle this on your own. Luckily, you don't have to. (Written from Chara's POV, second person.)
Characters: Chara and Frisk
Word count: 4,465 words
(Ao3 link in reblog!)
You awake to a buzzing in your head, a stabbing in your eye, and a flash of light from outside. Thunder booms, rattling you to your bones. Your heart beats violently in your chest as you sit up and tilt your head up to the glowing stars on your ceiling to catch your breath.
The rest of your room is dark and silent, save for the hammering of rain outside and the steady, quiet breathing from across the room, Frisk’s. Another flash fills your vision, momentarily illuminating the room before casting it into shadow again, and another crash of thunder follows – barely two seconds after, you note. As your pulse returns to normal, you notice the prickly yet comfortable chill in the air. As the panic ebbs from your body, you find yourself alone in the dark.
Reflexively, you bring your hand up to your left eye, only to wince in pain as your fingertips brush the petals clustered there. Right, right. You’d forgotten. You groan and wrap your arms – also speckled with little clusters of golden petals – around yourself. Another nightmare, you conclude. By some stroke of luck, none of the details stuck with you, but you can still feel the darkness and the fear in the corners of your consciousness, lingering with all the allure of a memory just out of your reach. Perhaps if you weren’t so used to this routine already you could find it within yourself to be frustrated, but right now you just feel tired. You know you won’t be getting back to sleep tonight, though. You never do after a nightmare.
Part of you wants to go to Mom – she could offer you a hug and some comforting words, which you could really use right now – and another part of you wants to wake up Frisk – they’d understand – but the part of you that wins out is the one that doesn’t want to be a burden. So you stay curled up on your bed and listen to the rain instead.
The drops on the window are so thick and so numerous that they all just coalesce and run down the glass in a single, constant stream. You keep trying to single out a couple to watch them race, but none of them last long before melding with the rest of the raindrops. The water distorts your view of the backyard; it’s a sorry sight, all mud and leaves.
The weather has been like this nonstop lately. It feels like the dark clouds are here to stay, permanently, like this is your new reality and you have no choice but to get used to it. You don’t mind it, really. You’ve always liked the rain. Besides, having a body of your own again means you’re sensitive to things like the sun and the heat, and you absolutely hate it, to say the least. The sun can stay hidden for as long as it desires. But you can tell it bothers Frisk a lot. You can always tell when something is bothering Frisk; after sharing a soul with them for so long, there’s very little they can hide from you. Staying cooped up at home isn’t their speed at all – they’d rather be out exploring or playing with their friends – but there isn’t much that can be done with all this rain. Unlike you, they thrive in warm and happy places, and this bleak weather has been weighing them down like a sack of boulders.
That’s the thing about Frisk. Everything about them exudes warmth, really. Their selflessness, their optimism, their smile… They really are the “sunshine child”, aren’t they? They’re the kid who could show mercy to a kingdom full of monsters trying to steal their soul. They’re the kid who could stay determined through it all, so much so that not even death could stop them. You feel a smile tug at the corners of your mouth, tinged with bitterness. They’re the kid who broke the barrier, and they’re the kid who saved monsterkind. They were able to do what you failed to do, and then they found a way to bring you back, too, just to tie everything up with a pretty, perfect little bow. Because “everyone deserves a second chance”, as they say.
It makes you want to laugh.
You pull the blanket tighter around yourself instead.
At first it bothered you, the way they’re so much better than you, that they succeed in absolutely every area you fail. It was certainly…painful, to watch them clean up all your mistakes so easily, to see how perfect they were, in everything they did. But eventually you realized that they definitely weren’t perfect, actually. They were just a lot better at acting as if they were. In some ways, the two of you are like two sides of the same coin, and with time, you’ve grown to love that. Haven’t you? They even out your rough edges. They keep you grounded and stop you from doing stupid things. And in return, you’re their voice of reason, a loyal friend who will listen and won’t hold back an honest opinion. Not to mention a practically limitless source of information who will gladly (and proudly) help them with their homework.
The fact that they tolerate your near-constant presence at all confuses you, but…you’re glad they do. What would you do without them? Honestly?You glance over at them, snuggled up in the covers on their bed across the room. You don’t even want to think about what you’d do. You surely couldn’t handle living again, or the complications that come along with doing so, or just being here, without them. It was their idea to try to help you get a body of your own again, but of course you’d agreed, because you had been sure you’d intruded on their life enough already. They’d followed through with it, too, all the way to the end, despite all the moments when it seemed impossible.
The pattering of the rain continues steadily in your ears as you reminisce. They had stayed right there by your side when you stepped into the sunlight on your own two feet for the first time in so long. They sat there at the top of the mountain with you for what felt like hours while you took everything in, felt the sun on your skin and the blades of grass between your fingers, and they waited until you felt ready to see everyone else again. They held your hand when you saw your parents, when Mom and Dad could finally see you standing right there in front of them, tears streaming down your cheeks as you tried to push all the words you wanted to say past the lump in your throat. They didn’t complain when your grip became so tight you worried you might break their fragile fingers. They know how hard all of this is for you, and they don’t mind spending time with you when you don’t want to be alone. They feel more important to you than the heart in your chest that shouldn’t even be able to beat anymore.
They understand you in a way no one else does, in a way you doubt anyone else ever could. You wish there was a way to tell them just how much they mean to you, but you know by the time all those feelings are condensed into words they become nearly meaningless anyway. It almost makes you wish you still shared a soul with them, so they could understand your feelings just as clearly as you could understand theirs, but something tells you they already understand, to some extent. You hope so.
You groan and pull your blanket over your head, as if you’re trying to quiet your thoughts with it. Even with the rain, it’s too quiet. And your thoughts are too loud, like a bunch of buzzing bumble bees that could sting at any moment. You don’t want to be awake right now. You don’t really want to be asleep, either. You need to leave your room.
Sneaking another glance at Frisk’s side of the room to make sure they’re still asleep, you slip out of your bed and pad to the door as quietly as you can. Of course your blanket is still wrapped around you. For comfort. The door doesn’t creak very much, luckily. You know how inconsistent it can be. You’re cautious as you shut it behind you.
The hallway seems to swallow you up tonight. You can still hear the rain, but it sounds more distant in this part of the house, and everything looks like a shadow in the darkness that your eye is slowly adjusting to. You ignore it and make your way downstairs to the kitchen. Maybe you could make yourself some hot chocolate, make the best of being awake against your will. You think there were some packets in the cabinet.
Gentle, dim light streams in through the kitchen window. As you make your way to the cupboard to grab a mug, you’re overwhelmed with a sense of peace and tranquility. You feel it in every part of you. There really is nothing to compare with the feeling of being alone in the middle of the night, with the sound of rain enveloping you. You’re glad that none of the bedrooms in this house are very close to the kitchen, because the microwave can be a little loud. You lean against the counter as the mug spins round and round inside of it, humming away.
You have a better view of the backyard down here. There isn’t much to be seen in the middle of the night with all this pouring rain, but your house backs onto a peaceful forest that you and Frisk have explored many times. There’s a small creek a little ways in – you’re sure it must be overflowing by now – and a huge, fallen tree with clusters of mushrooms growing from it in various places. It must have kept watch over the forest for well over one hundred years before meeting its inevitable fate, certainly the oldest tree in your backyard. It must have been around since before you climbed Mount Ebott even. The first time you and Frisk came across it, you picked up a few flowers laying nearby and set them on the rotting log, and the two of you held a little mock funeral for it. You felt somewhat bad about, ironically, outliving it, which must sound strange, but Frisk understands.
With all this rain, the flowers must be long gone by now.
The lightning and thunder are almost simultaneous now. You jump a little as the kitchen is flooded with light, and in that moment, the microwave starts beeping. Shoot. You rush to open the door and take the mug out and almost burn your fingers in the process. You must’ve gotten too lost in thought.
Setting the mug on the table, you pour in the hot chocolate powder and begin to stir. The spoon makes a little ting! each time it hits the side of the mug. You try to direct your thoughts in a less dangerous direction, more towards thinking of the future rather than reflecting on the past. What are you going to do tomorrow? (Or, well, later today. A quick glance at the microwave’s little digital clock tells you it is past midnight.) Maybe you could read a book, or work on your most recent knitting project. Even if the rain did let up eventually, it would be too wet and muddy to do much outdoors.
The hot chocolate is still very hot, but you brave a sip anyway, because of course you do. Bad idea. Now your mouth is on fire. You squint your eye in disappointment.
Hopefully Dad’s garden is still salvageable after all of this. You know how much effort he puts into maintaining it, and you enjoy helping out with it whenever you visit. You would hate to see all that hard work go to waste, and just when it was finally getting somewhere, too.
It always felt weird, when you thought about it for too long. You used to garden with Dad when you lived in the underground, too. You used to drink tea with him in the living room and have long talks, just like you do now. You used to sit and read with Mom, and knit sweaters in your room when you had nothing better to do. Sometimes it was as if nothing had changed, and you didn’t always know how to feel about that, because eventually, your mind would bring up everything that had changed. And that was a slippery slope of drudging up memories you would much rather leave buried.
You blow on your hot chocolate a bit and take another sip. Luckily, it doesn’t burn off what few taste buds you have left this time. It tastes like warmth and bittersweet memories and home. You feel the slightest tug on your heart and close your eye.
Mount Ebott isn’t visible from the kitchen window, but you picture it in your mind anyway, shrouded in dark clouds and pouring rain, looming in the distance against a dark sky. You don’t have to try very hard; it’s a familiar image. You were ten years old, and your world was hell. It was a mountain, and it promised an escape. You could think of no greater force between two pieces of the universe.
At first, you had been disappointed when you woke up after the fall. But then Asriel found you, and the world didn’t seem quite so dark anymore.
You never deserved him. You knew that then, and you know that now. You…don’t want to think about him. You can feel guilt creeping in like thorns in your skin. Like the golden flowers that rooted themselves in your reanimated body, sharp and painful when you pull on them. You don’t want to think about him…
You hate being around Flowey. You wish you understood him, but you don’t. Time had created a rift between the two of you that not even the abilities of reality-bending determination could fix. It was hard to see him as the same person sometimes. It was harder not to feel guilty when you did. Even Flowey said so himself: Asriel died in that throne room years ago, and he was never coming back.
Your face feels wet and it’s not because of the rain. You let out a deep breath and take another sip of your hot chocolate. You wish you could just get over this – it’s certainly been long enough – but the past still infects your mind like weeds. Ironic, is it not? Ha.
But, no. Despite it all, you could still hear his voice in your head. Soft, as he asks, “Chara, can you tell me about the surface?” You can see the stars in his eyes as you tell him of the ones in the sky. You can feel his head on your shoulder as he yawns, his hands holding onto yours as he tells you you’re not a bad person. You can hear his shuddering breaths as he sits beside your bed and you can feel his fear as if it were your own and you feel a bullet through your- his- chest and-
A boom of thunder that you can feel at your very core startles you from your thoughts and before you know it, your mug has tumbled from your hands and collided with the floor in a manner that is far from quiet. The ensuing silence, however, is deafening.
You don’t even react to it right away. You just stand there and stare at the mess of shattered porcelain and hot chocolate on the floor with a blank expression on your face. You think, This might as well be a metaphor for my life. And then you make a move to clean it up.
Your hands are so shaky as you pick up the shards and there’s a well of frenzied energy building up in your throat. You kind of want to scream. The rain is still hammering against the earth outside. You think about how much Asriel would have liked thunderstorms.
You don’t notice the presence of another person in the room until Frisk’s avocado socks suddenly appear in your line of sight. You startle – again, embarrassingly enough – and look up, and sure enough, Frisk is looking at you with an expression of concern on their face.
“You okay?” they whisper. Their curly hair is sticking up all over the place, and they look about as tired as you feel. Immediately, you feel extremely guilty.
You nod. “It just slipped out of my hand... I’m sorry for waking you up.”
They shake their head as they kneel down to help you pick up the remains of the mug. “It was kinda hard to sleep with all the thunder anyways. Why’re you up?”
“Mm…” You hesitate. “Nightmare.” You’d almost forgotten that was why you were awake right now in the first place.
“You wanna talk about it?” they ask, glancing at you as they drop the shards into the trash.
“No, I don’t remember it. It was just hard to go back to sleep afterward.”
“Oh. Okay.”
For a minute, they quietly watch you clean up the hot chocolate with a wad of paper towels, fidgeting with their hands. Your eye is carefully trained on the ground, but you can practically feel them trying to think of something else to say.
“You should go back to bed. I will be alright on my own,” you say, knowing they don’t want to leave you alone right now, because they can probably sense your obvious agitation, can’t they? You don’t want them losing sleep for your sake, though. They’ve done that enough already.
Instead of responding, they grab a chair from the kitchen table and turn it around so that it’s facing the window, sitting down next to you with their knees curled up to their chest and their head resting on their crossed arms. They look at you expectantly.
You sigh and roll your eye but scoot your own chair next to them anyway. “You’ll be tired tomorrow,” you warn them as you get comfortable on the chair and bring your legs into a cross-legged position. “Then we will both be tired and grumpy. Is that what you want?”
They shake their head sharply and scrunch up their face. “Whatever!” They tug on the blanket you still have draped around your shoulders, so you slip it off and pass them one of the corners so the two of you can share. They smile and immediately drop their head onto your shoulder, leaning into you. You hesitate for a moment, but then you lean your head on theirs, too.
“I am more upset than I should be about that hot chocolate.” The sound of the rain fills the empty space between your voices. It almost sounds like it has calmed down a bit, but it’s still pattering away.
“Sorry,” they say.
You laugh. “It’s not your fault.”
If there’s one thing you know, it’s that you don’t need words when it’s just the two of you together. Just being there is enough. The fact that they’re there with you at all immediately makes you feel a little less on edge. It makes the rain seem even more peaceful somehow, now that you get to share it with someone. A flash of lightning illuminates the room, and moments later, the low rumble of thunder follows. It’s nice.
The distant tick of the clock in the living room keeps the time, and you almost think Frisk has fallen asleep with how quiet they’re being, but then their voice breaks the silence. “You’re sure you’re okay, though. Like, really okay?” It catches you off guard.
You open your mouth to reply but find that the words get stuck. Oh. You are okay… You are. But the way they said it makes you aware of a pressure behind your eye, and you think you’re about to cry again. You’re able to mutter out a small “I-”, but nothing else comes out.
Frisk doesn’t say anything, either. You get the impression that they’re waiting for something, and for a moment that makes a frustration build inside you, because you can’t give them what they want, you already told them you don’t want to talk about it, no matter how hard you try you’re never going to get better at letting yourself feel things like they want you to- And now you’re even mad at yourself for getting frustrated with them. You don’t want to be like this. You don’t even…
“I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be here,” you finally say. Your voice sounds small.
Hm. You thought you had gotten over this, too.
“I know,” Frisk says. And of course they do. Of course they do. You can’t tell whether that’s comforting to know or not, but…it encourages you to continue.
“I’m…tired of feeling that way.”
Frisk reaches over to hold your hand.
“I have been for a long time. I thought… I was stupid enough to think killing myself was the answer-” You choke out a laugh, but it might have been a sob. You can’t even tell. “I get to help my family, and in return, I am granted the sweet release of death. Two birds with one stone, right?” Laughter bubbles in your throat and it’s a mess as it escapes you. It’s embarrassing, but you can’t stop yourself. You think Frisk is hugging you – you can feel their arms around your shoulders – but your eye is closed and all you can think about is the bitter taste of buttercups.
“A lot of good that did, huh? I literally could not have failed harder if I’d tried.”
The flowers growing in the socket of your left eye sting. Saying all of this out loud makes you feel sick, but for some reason, right now, you feel like you have to get it out of you.
“My brother is dead, and somehow, I am still here. And I still feel the same! Ha ha! If anything it’s only gotten worse! I should be dead, what, twice over? Thrice? And that’s not even counting all the times we- you died, with all the Resets. Do those even count? Does it even matter…?”
Your awareness slowly slips back into the present moment as you wrap your arms around Frisk. Their presence makes you feel steady, grounded, as it always does, and you subconsciously clutch fistfuls of their sweater in your hands.
“Sometimes all of this just feels like a sick joke. I don’t know. Like…maybe one day, I’ll wake up back… back then, and none of it will have even been…real. Or maybe I won’t wake up at all, ha…”
And maybe that would be for the best.
“I do not deserve any of this…”
Frisk says, “I love you, Chara”, and nothing more.
And somehow, it is enough. You take a breath; it kind of stings your raw throat. “I love you too, Frisk.”
You think about how lucky you are to have them, at the very least.
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here. I think you’re s’posed to be here.”
You nod. It’s all you can manage right now. Because truly, you mean it when you say, what would you do without them? For a moment, you pause and try to soak everything in. You can’t tell whether you feel empty or…relieved. Both, probably. There’s a little bit of guilt there too as you catch a peek of morning sunlight reflected on the kitchen floor. The two of you must have been here for a while…
Finally you pull away from the hug and rub at your eye with the heel of your palm. “Jeez, I’m exhausted.”
“Yeah,” Frisk replies with laughter in their voice. “Whoops.”
You didn’t even realize, but outside, the rain has almost stopped, reduced to nothing more than a slight drizzle. You stretch a little as you stand up from your chair and walk over to the back door, which is on the other side of the room and glass so you can see right outside. It’s very cloudy, but there’s a little bit of light shining over the horizon.
“Oh. It’s kinda stopped raining,” Frisk says as they meet you by the door.
“You wanna go out there?”
“In my socks?” Their voice cracks with disbelief on the last word and you laugh.
“Just for a minute. I need some fresh air.”
Frisk sighs loud and dramatically as they sit on the ground to take their socks off. You open the door – cautiously, as Mom is still asleep and you know this one has a habit of squeaking – and are immediately greeted by a wave of cool air. The comforting smell of rain envelopes you. It’s called petrichor, if you remember correctly, and it’s actually the smell of the soil as it becomes moist, rather than the rain itself. Interesting.
“Ready!” Frisk hops up and bounces on their toes.
You hold the screen door open for them, and the two of you slip outside. Luckily, there’s a little wooden porch here so you don’t have to be standing in the mud, but even the porch is a little wet and slippery. It doesn't have a roof or a cover or anything, so the little sprinkles of rain pitter patter on the top of your head and tickle your cheeks and forehead as you tilt your face to the sky. Frisk is giggling to themself as they splash around in the puddles beside you.
You feel vulnerable. You feel free. You feel terrified… But you feel safe. You think to yourself, this is what it means to be alive. To feel raindrops on your skin, to splash in puddles with your sibling, to feel the relief that comes after crying and to wait for the sunrise. And you wish this was something you could understand all the time, something you could always keep in mind when your thoughts start drifting in dark directions again. It’s so easy to forget how beautiful the world can be sometimes, when you’re always stuck in the shadows. Sometimes you need someone to remind you of why you’re here.
Frisk reaches out to you and does a little grabby-hand motion, so you take their hand, and the two of you spin and dance around the porch, kicking up rainwater. For just a moment, everything that lead you to this moment feels worth it.
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allaboardthevespa · 6 months
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Dumping my Gabby HCs because she's my comfort character
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Her full name is Gabriella Helena Myszka.
Growing up her family moved around in Poland a lot. Usually to cities, but Gabby always liked hanging out in parks and forests when she could. It’s how she grew to love nature.
When her family eventually decided to move overseas to Canada, she cried a lot because Poland felt like a comfy, safe place to her. Of course she’s glad it happened now. Even back in Poland she struggled making friends, and meeting Ellie truly changed her world for the better
Given her mental health struggles, issues with making friends and familial neglect, she’s developed a very bad tendency to have nightmares frequently. This decreased when she met Ellie, but she still has them on occasions. (I wrote a whole fanfic about this after all)
Her favorite artists include Girl in Red, Cavetown, Billie Eilish (she definitely cries to “happier than ever”) and Folklore/Evermore era Taylor Swift. Though Ellie's getting her into Dashboard Confessional yes this is me projecting
Along with a love of all animals, her nature-loving personality gives her a real soft spot for flowers. I’ve mentioned before that tulips and hyacinths are among her favorites, but she likes flowers in general. Especially of the fragrant variety. There’s not much that brings her more peace and happiness than breathing the sweet scent of her favorite flowers – and she loves wearing flower crowns too.
She’s pretty emotional and tends to cry easily. For example, one time she ended up watching Where the Red Fern Grows with some other people and she was so completely emotionally broken by it that she was left crying for hours on end.
Is incredibly touch-starved and often asks Ellie to give her hugs and cuddles because man she needs them
Is extremely ticklish and loves being tickled. Pretty much always loses the tickle-fights between her and Ellie too, lol (pretty sure it’s on purpose)
GIANT Bluey fan. Loves Puffin Rock and Elinor Wonders Why as well
She generally prefers rural, less crowded areas to big busy areas. Being in a busy city for too long (especially away from area) causes her panic attacks relatable. She much prefers staying in the warmth of nature, with her closest friends accompanying her
Her favorite Pokemon include Butterfree, Meganium, Sawsbuck, and Meowscarada hmm, I wonder what her favorite type is
She’s always really wanted a dog. Her dad is allergic and mean, though
Big advocate for supporting small businesses. Unless they cut down a bunch of trees to put up a store lol
Can sing but it depends on the situation. When she’s quiet she sings really well, when she’s loud…windows will shatter
Owns mountains of stuffed animals. Her favorite being a pink crab Squishmallow who she’s named Sherbert
Gets very competitive when playing board/video games!
After watching season 2 of DC her favorite characters ended up being Kai, Maggy, Tess and Lake (and she had something of a love-hate thing towards Karol lol)
Enjoys all weather. Loves to go out and dance in the rain. Tends to get sick as a result but she doesn’t care, it’s fun and besides, now she has Ellie to look after her!
Would love to live in a peaceful cabin deep in a beautiful nature-y place with her beloved Ellie someday.
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willowser · 10 months
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Hey hey Willow heyyyy ✨ I'll apologize in advance for coming with silly tots only!
But you know when you admire someone and you like the way they think and everytime they say something you're like !!!!!!!! YES EXACTLY!!! and you giggle at silly lil things they've said or how they've said them cause it makes you feel so pffttt 💓 and you live up in your silly lil head like ah yes I'd love to be their friend, and all that?
I know you know where I'm going lol but yeah that's how I think of you because I apreciate you and what you do so!! much!! and it's insane? I mean cause I'm just an internet peep (lol) and we dont know each other and that's wild to my silly lil head!!!
Art and love for it can do so much I'm sighing big sighs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for sharing what you do and the way you do it and and and for being so kind as you do it. And yeah also I'll go to war, bake a cake and even do the laundry for you.
Also sorry I'm being so INTENSE!!! And basically writing a love letter under candle lights lmao I just never do this talking to ppl I think are cool kinda thing lol
I hope you have a great day/night forever and ever. Mwah!
oh, my heart and my soul — you are so correct !! art and the love for it !! how it connects across this great big world, across time-zones and reservations and insecurities and blooms fully in the great volume of our joy !!! you mean so much to me. you really, truly do.
you know, it's not just about our fanfiction, our blorbos and our 2d men and even our little stories; it's about the community and the love it brings ! especially in the wake of my little upset LOL my heart is so full at those of you that came out of the wood works to be there for me — those of you that have ALWAYS been there for me, on my worst days. i'm just an internet peep too ! just a guy on my puter !! and yet here we are ! how far we've come ! the love we have !
this little space is just such a haven of joy for me, and, again, it's not even necessarily about the writing itself or bakugou, especially not about the notes or refrogs or any of that; i say this all the time and it probably sounds childish and silly, but i really view this little corner here, with all of you, as our little space to sit together and hold hands and take turns talking about the things we like, what excites us, what nestles into our hearts and lives there, what pains us — all of it ! i feel so connected to all of you ! and as someone that was shamed and made to be embarrassed of fanfiction when i was younger and growing up — i'm so happy we've all managed to find each other here !
i want this to be a safe space where our creativity can flow together ! i want us all to be included, i want us all to be appreciated, i want us all to be heard, and it means so much to me that yall have done that for me as well ! day in and day out. rain or shine. this is our clubhouse ! and negativity isn't allowed in ! there's no place for it, i won't acknowledge it, i enjoy living my life trying to be as kind as i can, and i want to spread all of it to you, as best i can !
i sound so unhinged !!! LOL !! i am writing furiously in the candle light in my return letter to you, so quickly that ink is getting everywhere and that my handwriting is illegible akhfakhfa but i am always so grateful, to all of you ! and whenever i get such heartfelt messages like this — from those of you that have said before that you don't usually reach out, that this is the first time you're sending messages — i'm so honored that you would trust me with that ! that you deem me worthy of your vulnerability !! i have just so much love in my heart for all of you he he and thank you for being here with me 🥺
and thank you to YOU especially, dear. your message will live inside my lil brain forever. you are my friend. we do know each other, in ways that transcend identity and physical presence ! we are baking the cake together. we are folding the still-warm laundry side by side 🥺
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chaosintheavenue · 5 months
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Unprompted answering of random asks from my own ask memes for Kayli:
🌱 What’s their basic information? Name, gender, age, that sort of thing
Full name: Kayli Meyer (surname was originally Radley until she was around 7-ish years old)
Gender: Cis woman
Orientation: Asexual, vaguely sapphic but also definitely not alloromantic (AKA, the exact answer I would have given for myself about a year ago)
Date of birth: 19th February 2275 (so, five months older than Trin at any given time)
Place of residence: Born and raised in California- more specifically in Lost Hills. She had never left California before travelling to West Virginia with Trin and living there for two years (2297 to late '99) and some spare change. Has just left WV and headed back west at the current point in the day-to-day OC timeline in my head
🌎 Do they have a favourite region of the world map (e.g. the Forest, the Ash Heap…)? A least favourite region?
She enjoyed seeing the variety of different environments in Appalachia more than anything else, but she does have a soft spot for the atmosphere (not literally!) of the Ash Heap that Trin doesn't share
As for least favourites, she didn't particularly enjoy embarking out further towards the east side of the map (Mire/Cranberry Bog region), but that's more due to the tougher enemies in that region and potential for Trin to start scorchily losing her shit than the actual geography
📷 How often do they take photos (or alternatively, how often do you use photomode haha)? Any favourite/funny photos of them you’d like to share?
She will sometimes take environmental shots to capture any unusual or striking features in the landscape, but on the whole isn't snap-happy like someone I could mention. Definitely doesn't love being in shot herself (so, not a fan of selfies).
🎻 Do they play musical instruments? How skilled are they at it?
Yesss. I literally added this question to that list specifically for Kayli lol.
She's taken violin lessons since childhood, and kinda knows her way around all string instruments as a result. Also figuring out a little bit of piano, which is more likely self-taught. But the violin will always be her baby.
💰 What is the most expensive thing they own?
The most expensive thing in terms of its overall value that she ever owned, past tense, was probably her first violin. It was in pristine condition with a pearlised blue varnish, which I'd imagine would have been very hard to come by.
It survived its time with her, by the way! She just had to swap for a new refurbished one eventually because it was child-sized.
💬 How many languages do they speak?
She's only fully fluent in English, but knows phrases here and there in plenty of other languages. However, I'm inclined to think that she would count the ability to read and write sheet music as knowing a language, which brings her total per her own judgement to two.
☂️ What’s their favourite type of weather? What type of weather do you associate with them, if any?
She's not a fan of any extremes of weather, but especially not storms or heavy rain. Having grown up a) underground and b) in California, the severe East Coast-style radstorms were an unpleasant novelty to her and she's very wary of them.
🍇 Favourite food? Any dietary restrictions or specific dislikes?
Discovered when she travelled east that she likes fresh seafood- but it absolutely has to be fresh, and that's going to be in much shorter supply where she's now living than it was in Appalachia. Welp. Lakelurk meat, maybe?
Her all-time favourite food is the gulper meat in Rudy's pepperoni rolls!
🤖 Do they believe science or art is more important? How much value do they place on each?
She'd firmly agree with the paraphrased quote 'Science keeps us alive, but art is what we live for'.
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magpiefngrl · 4 months
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Hiii! I loved reading your WIP titles. I am really curious about the 'All the ships' Drarry but would love to hear about one of your OF pieces if you're happy to share? I'm always a sucker for a gothic romance so please tell me about the [Memory] WIP <3
Hello lovely! Thanks for the ask!
[All the ships] actually has a title which I'd clean forgotten LOL. It's Thunder and Lightning and I only remembered because I went to dig for an excerpt. We start with Harry and Ginny on one hand and Draco and Astoria on the other, happily married and being friends, until a stormy night in the manor when Astoria and Ginny give in to their attraction and that leaves Harry, in deep denial of how attractive he finds Draco, to ...er deal with that. It's a PWP, because this is the only thing I can write in drarry now lol. I would've abandoned it, tbh, except I really like this one line and so I can't bring myself to relegate it to the WIP graveyard.
(I've put an excerpt further down)
I'd love to talk about the gothic romance too! I'd also forgotten I have a tentative title: Lord Ashworth's Possession. This exercise tells me a lot about how much I've put my writing on the back burner these past few months :(
See, I had the idea of turning my gothic drarry (The Unquiet Grave) into an original romance, but when I tried to adapt the existing text by filing off serial numbers, as it were, I realised how impossible it was. So many things relied on canon to be understood and would have to be explained and so many little moments would lose their significance.
But I was enamoured with the mood of the fic and would love to recreate it. I kept the gothic manor and the sinister vibe, but changed the characters, the situation, the plot etc. Some elements have sneaked through, the ghost of the aunt, for instance.
Calling it 'memory' was because my protagonist and the POV of the story is returning to a place he grew up and hasn't visited for 20 years. So besides him being there for plot reasons, he also returns to a place that holds a lot of emotional memories for him. The book that keeps coming back to my mind when I think of this story is The Lover by Marguerite Duras, which is neither gothic nor a romance, but somehow feels related to this piece.
I wrote a short story exploring the world and the secondary characters and posted it on AO3: The new valet. Certain elements about the house are likely to change but it was an interesting exercise in getting a feel for the story.
ask me about my WIPs
Excerpts below the cut:
All the ships aka Thunder and Lightning:
‘Is this something you do a lot?’ Malfoy shrugged as he leaned on a counter opposite Harry. ‘Not together, no. We have an open relationship. I love her more than I could ever love anyone, but we’re both more gay than bi. We’ve had dalliances in the past and they’ve been discreet.’ This was news to Harry. The gay thing, the dalliances. His mind couldn’t stop thinking of the men Malfoy had touched. The men he’d fucked. ‘Is this making you uncomfortable?’ Malfoy asked. ‘Not really. I want Ginny to be happy.’ Malfoy chuckled. ‘I meant, this.’ He gestured between them. ‘Not really.’ Harry shot back. ‘Is that why your fists are clenched? Because you’re perfectly comfortable?’ Harry flexed his fingers and let out a long breath. The rain started. It beat up the windows, rivers pouring down the glass. It was almost like they were in an aquarium, surrounded by water, just him and Malfoy and his long, manicured fingers. Malfoy shrugged. He wore a shirt open at the collar, a triangle of neck and collarbone visible, pale against the ice blue fabric. Harry’s fingers flexed some more. ‘Nothing needs to happen, Harry.’ Harry wondered if Malfoy still thought of him in his surname like Harry did. ‘Let’s go have a drink, I’m worried you’ll have an aneurysm.’
[memory] gothic romance:
On this freezing November morning, rain lashed at the windows, making the damp air damper. A fire in the grate in Philip’s office burned valiantly, doing its best to dispel the gloom. He’d been sorting through reports of suspected Wraith activity—often these things would take down whole families before someone realised what they were dealing with—when his door opened, and Maud popped her head in. “Got an appointment in ten minutes that sounds intriguing. I thought you might want to sit in. Name’s Harlow.” Philip’s hands stilled. “There are many Harlows,” he said carefully. But his pulse was beating fast, and he knew; he already knew. Maud’s expression confirmed it before her words. “He’s Lord Ashworth’s younger brother. Lancewood Abbey. That’s where you grew up, isn’t it?” Philip nodded. Maud slipped inside and sat on the chair. “Do you remember him? The younger brother?” “He’s a decade younger. He was barely two when we—” were forced to leave “—when we left the estate.” “Do you remember the current Lord Ashworth? John Augustus—God, what names—Harlow?” “Jack.” Philip remembered a nine-year-old running after him in the grass, escaping his governess in order to create as much mischief as he could manage. “They call him Jack. He was in the papers a lot.” Jack Harlow, when his father lived, and he was still the heir. Rumours of scandals and a licentious lifestyle that put Oscar Wilde to shame. Any hint of debauchery and Jack was somehow involved—until his father died in that fire, Jack inherited the title, and promptly let go of most of his staff, locked his gates and never left the Abbey.
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arithmeticanimaniac · 6 months
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tag someone you want to know better
tagged by @romanceyourdemons
favorite color: bright pink (also any happy color)
last song: the last song i deliberately played was either “Almost Like Being in Love” by Nat King Cole or “September in the Rain” by Dinah Washington, but the last song that came up on shuffle was “Juliet” by LMNT
last movie: either around the world in 80 days (2004) or inception (2010)
currently watching: the last season of archer (2009)
other stuff i watched this year: lmao i actually have a lot of half baked reviews in my drafts but i never posted them because i’m almost always at my queue limit so here’s my chance to do a rapid fire round of reviews (based entirely on whether i enjoyed them)
how to marry a millionaire (1953) 👍 too many people forget what a comedic genius marilyn monroe was
Love Sarah (2020) 👍 🥲 a bakery, romance, grief and healing, intergenerational bonding, what more could you want
My man Godfrey (1936) 👎 boring
bringing up baby (1938) 👎 it has its moments, blueprint for disney channel show shenanigans
memories of the sword (2015) 👍 sooooo melodramatic
The Dig (2018) 👍 haunting
the misfits (2021) 👍 it is Not Good, but inexplicably charming
Free guy (2021) 👍 responsible for the resurgence of mariah carey in my playlist
Papillon (2017) 🤷🏻‍♀️ hard to get through but not bad
Chungking Express (1994) 👍 i’m not usually an atmospheric film type, but wow
The Lost City (2022) 👍 i had fun
The French dispatch (2021) 🤷🏻‍♀️ tried watching this multiple times, fell asleep each time but the fact that i tried multiple times means it goes on this list
most of the movies in the DCAMU (2013-2020) 👍 i saw a gif from Teen Titans: the Judas contract (2017) which led me to watch 11 of these 16 movies lmao curse you tumblr
Blue crush (2002) 👎
the Batman (2022) 👎
Lost in the stars (2022) 👍 the whole thing could’ve been avoided if (spoilers) were lesbian, but anyways it made me want to visit hainan and shanghai
Dumplings (2004) 👍 i mean i can’t eat dumplings anymore without gagging but
the burning sea (2021) 🤷🏻‍♀️ i remember laughing at the cheesiness (idk how accurately they translated from norwegian), but solid disaster movie
alive (2020) 👍 korean filmmakers really know zombies, but mix in quarantine era
Palm Springs (2020) 👍 went into this blind expecting white lotus lol (very much not white lotus)
The babysitter: killer queen (2020) 👍 i can only do horror if it’s campy horror
the menu (2022) 👎 well made movie, not for me
blockers (2018) 👍
joy ride (2023) 👍
Spider-Man: across the spider-verse (2023) 👍
king arthur: legend of the sword (2017) 👍 i don’t care i enjoyed its ridiculousness
Austenland (2013) 👍 it’s so bad!! i laughed, i cringed, i awww’ed
the tuxedo (2002) 🤷🏻‍♀️ better enjoyed in highlight clips
Matilda the musical (2022) 👎 if i hadn’t seen the danny devito version i might have enjoyed this
heathers the musical (2022) 👎 the off bway actors were better
Mayhem (2017) 👍 samara weaving and steven yeun! another movie apollo threw a covid dodgeball at
Charlie Chan at the wax museum (1940) 🤷🏻‍♀️ could’ve been good, hard to watch with the yellowface and racism
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) 👍
shows i dropped this year/didn’t finish: justified (2010), killing eve (2018) , gannibal (2022), beef (2023), doom patrol (2019)
currently reading: bel canto, but mainly just a lot of medical articles
currently working on: finding a new job because hellooooo 2 year itch
current obsession: ok so if you look at english language sources, most say that pregnant onions are toxic and therefore not edible. however, the medicinal value of pregnant onions is apparently not uncommon knowledge in other cultures (fuck yeah china and south africa). so a family friend gave us a few mature plants that make into soup and i picked off the little seedlings and have been tending to them. that led to spending more time tending to my other plants (i have a lot more loquat trees than i remember) and now i’m trying to air layer some stuff. TLDR; gardening
tagging anyone who wants to do this :)
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the relationship asks w sera and reader i am humbly begging for crumbs
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What was their first date like? If they haven’t been on a date yet, how would it go?
Chances are Serafim would bring you to the restaurant he works at. He is a college student and they give a good discount so.. But it's a really upscale place. After that? Maybe a movie or mini putt, some fun activity. It’s late at night and your characters want food, what do they order/find in the fridge?
Serafim will eat raw cookie dough out of the fridge if you don't stop him.. He's not above ordering out if you want to though! He just wants to make you happy. So :)
What’s a typical Sunday like for them?
He usually takes his Sundays either working or planning his schedule for the upcoming week. If he isn't working though, he'll do the latter task while spending time with you! Maybe a movie in pjs afterwards.. What’s their love language like? Are they compatible with one another?
G: Gift Giving, Quality Time R: Quality Time, Physical Touch Do they have any pet names/nicknames for eachother? He's likely to call you his/my angel as a pet name. But also "the other half of my immortal soul." What do they argue about?
His mind reading..... Hard to hide you're upset with something when he's always prodding... Who does what chores, and why?
Serafim likes cooking the most! And he doesn't mind doing dishes afterwards. He loathes laundry, big family problems, yk? What’s the most difficult thing they’ve been through together?
Honestly his feelings of inadequacy caused by his lacklustre magical ability. It's not the most difficult thing in the world, but its very draining on him, and supporting him through it is crucial. How do they make up after a fight?
Serafim will likely apologise and bring you flowers. He's very old fashioned sometimes. Who causes the most arguments?
He tends to prod which might cause reactions.. He's very unintentional with it but yk.. What would they say each other’s worst quality is?
Serafim's worst quality is how fucking NOSY he is. What would they say each other’s best quality is?
His best quality is his inherent kindness though. How would they describe one another if asked?
Serafim will describe you down to every detail on your face if you aren't careful. He's very observant/pos What names are they saved as on each other’s phone?
Just your first and last name. What would they consider quality time?
Movies, DnD/PnP campaign, cooking together, spending time with his family. Who decides which movies to watch?
Sera isn't picky at least! How are they like on a road trip together?
Paper map or bust which, yikes. It’s raining, did either of your OCs bring an umbrella? If so, who, and do they share it?
Serafim saw this coming and brought an umbrella, worry not he will share it. What are they like when sharing a bed?
He gets really warm in his sleep but will still throw his legs over his lover's so that yall are close. Who is better at games? Does the loser take it graciously?
Serafim is definitely better at games but will purposefully lose if he sees its making you sad you keep losing. But he's very good at hiding it. Do they ever share clothes?
His style is a bit.. Masc lolita, victorian, elizabethan, ect.. But if you want to borrow his clothes! Sure :) <3 Your OCs are on a trip and there’s only one bed! What do they do?
Cuddle! He's not actually got Victorian standards, he doesn't care about sharing a bed lol.. What do your characters think about marriage? Are they for or against it?
Serafim would love to get married some day! Weddings are a fun affair with his family :) Do any of them have bad habits that the other can’t stand?
Looks at his mind reading, looks at you. But also he picks his cuticles.. Who is more down to earth?
Serafim. Are they affectionate in public? Is it too much?
He gets really shy if its too much, but he doesn't mind hand holding or cheek kissing. How are they affectionate in private?
Kisses, hugs, whole nineyards if you let him. He's a very cuddly boy. How does your OC react to being broken up with?
"You wish to break up with me? Ah.. I see.. Very well, if it's what you wish, I am in no position to stop you. I wish you happiness in life." And he will be crying in father's arms. Do they fall in love easily?
A little too easily. Your character is in love, do they confess? If not, how long do they wait?
He has no reason to wait, unless he knows the other person doesn't return the sentiment. Then he'll stay quiet about it. Who was the first to say ‘I love you’?
Serafim. Either he says it first, or hears you think it and says it immediately. Who is more stubborn?
He's really not stubborn.. What moment did they realise that they were in love?
Chances are Serafim fell madly wildly in love with your thoughts, your way of seeing the world, and responding to it. How long have they been friends? Would they consider each other best friends?
He probably met you as an adult rather than in his teens, given his family's need to move around so often. How did they become friends?
If you think something particularly funny...... Who’s more ticklish?
Serafim is SOOOO ticklish. If your OCs has/had a child, who would be the stricter parent?
Uhh well I can only answer for him ofc and he's not very strict? Careful, yes. But not strict. What do they do when they miss one another? Is one more needy than the other/s?
Serafim is great at distracting himself! So he isn't the neediest in the world. But he will text you when he can and always responds quickly! What green flags do they have for one another?
Ooooh his biggest green flag is his ability to listen and correct his actions, we stan a receptive king. Have they ever been jealous?
He a lil jealous sometimes hehe.. Is one more introverted/extroverted than the other?
Serafim is such an introvert bye. Who’s the better cook?
I've seen yall burn shit frequently, so him. Are they good at comforting one another? Does someone hide their feelings usually?
Because of his ability to read thoughts, Serafim tends to know what someone needs in the moment. Making him very good at comfort because he doesn't need to be told nor does he need to make assumptions. Would they have been friends with each other in school?
Probably! Despite being incredibly shy and his speaking quirks, Serafim is easy to get along with. Who made the first move?
Sera 100% Do they get on well with each other’s family? Is family important to them?
Family is SUPER important to Serafim. His family saved him, they're all that he has at the end of the day. It's very important his lover gets on with his family. Do they tease each other? What about?
Chances are he'll lightly tease you about shared interests. Nothing hurtful though. Is there anything that scares them about their friendship/relationship?'
Serafim just wants to be his best for you. He's not powerful like some of his family and he's not the smartest. But he's kind and loving and he hopes, desperately, that that's enough :)
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chloeworships · 11 months
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MONEY IS COMING FOR SOMEONE AND A LOT OF IT.
Are you ready bc God is about to make it RAIN ☔️ 🤩
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Bay-beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee🤑
Eh but try to stay humble about it okur 😅 Also, not everyone will be as happy for you as I am so prepare for the hate my loves, especially if you aren’t use to being criticized. There is an insane amount of envy being felt by those who don’t like you. For some it’s those secret enemies we think of as “friends”. There may be some nosy people and of course the vultures, scammers and gold diggers, so don’t flash the expensive watches and jewels for a little while until this period of about 3-4 months has passed AFTER this blessing arrives. It’s for your protection.
For some of you high profile folks you won’t be able to keep this private 😂 Let the world do the talking while you stay focused on your craft and on God. Keep people guessing. I just heard the Holy Spirit say “be wise as serpents and innocent as doves”.👀😯 Play dumb if you have to 🤪 because there is a tremendous amount of “secret hate” and sadly it can come from the people you least expect. I wish it wasn’t this way 😞
Nonetheless Congratulations my loves 🥳🎉🍾
IT’S YOUR TIME NOW.
PS. Sometimes right before a major financial blessing, you can lose a few so called friends. It’s bc God knows 🎶they can’t come live lavish with you🎶 and he’s cutting those snakes off by the head 🔪 🐍. So, if that happens, know that it’s a blessing in disguise. God heard everything they mumbled in secret. Be unapologetic babes. They did this to themselves. Sometimes people are ok with being your friends until you start to do better than them. Then suddenly your bestie of 20 years starts evil eyeing you and giving you the cold shoulder or becomes overly involved in your affairs. God is telling you this to prepare you so you’re equipped to handle it. Go celebrate with your REAL PEOPLE DEM 😎🇯🇲🥂 and leave the fake ones behind.
I heard this song:
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I can FEEL this abundance coming in babes. You have no idea 🥹💲💲💲💲💲💲💲💲💲💲💲💲💲💲 and NO ONE can stop this.
Have you been seeing 888 or all 8’s 🎱👀 yeah this is for you 🫵🏾 Also the number 4 is significant here.
For whoever this message is for, the LORD said you absolutely deserve this. You’ve been through so much these last SEVERAL years and this is God’s way of rewarding you…
I’m seeing someone buying bottles for the entire club/lounge WOW. Aawww you’re a blessing to those around you my loves yyaaaaayyyyyyy. I just heard “CHRISTMAS IN JULY” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🎄
I also heard “Moment 4 Life” oh my gosh IM SCREAMINGGGGGGGGGGGG 🙌🏾🙌🏾
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Yo this song by Nicki always brings me TO TEARS 😭 This blessing is for someone that has been through HELL and back about 40 times 😂😂😂😂 This moment will be a CELEBRATION 🎉 This is BIG. Who likes watches? lol 😂 Someone is obsessed haha I love it 🥰 ⌚️
Please pray about this. This message isn’t for everyone but it’s for more than one person. God has to confirm this message to you.
Somebody gone need security just to walk to the BANK 🏦 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🚶‍♀️
I also heard “franchise history” 👀
UPDATE
babes. After I received this prophetic word God showed me a vision of a wholeeeeee bunch of snakes coming out of kitchen cupboards 🏡 slithering towards me quickly *sigh* so beware ⚠️ This could be family not just friends who aren’t happy for you and May attack you in a roundabout/sly way OR they are coming to ask/TAKE a piece of your NEW LUXURIOUS 🥧. There were a total of 6 snakes 🐍 Protect your wealth the Holy Spirit is saying. It may seem selfish to others but these are the same folks who were back chatting you and betraying you. No handouts. These people are just plain GREEDY. I’m getting mad 😡 THE AUDACITY 😡 ugh.
Have strong BOUNDARIES and learn to say no! Ask God to reveal these people! Some of you have really big hearts but these family members are LEECHES & VAMPIRES 🧛‍♀️ and will always want more. They will drain you financially, physically, emotionally AND spiritually if you engage them ⚠️ I’m hearing things like Ponzi schemes and the likes. You don’t want to be involved in bad investments that could possibly send you to prison because you trusted these people. That’s how serious this warning is from the LORD. Use your God given discernment so they don’t get you involved in scams and fake investments just to steal from you. YOU WORKED TOO HARD FOR YA MONEY BABES. If they come to you with foolery like this it’s bc they KNOW it’s a bad deal and their intent is to get you entangled so you can lose your wealth. It’s sickening but true.
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Overall the message is GREAT NEWS with a twist 🌀 and a warning ⚠️ 🐅
God just showed me this scene from the God Father with the Corleone brothers and Moe Greene 👀
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Notice the Godfather logo with the puppeteer 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀🍃 Remember you’re the Don in this situation. We Jamaicans love to say “Me run tingz, tingz nuh run me” 😂🇯🇲😂🇯🇲😂🇯🇲😂
🎶mo money, mo problems🎶👀
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iheartmyipod · 1 year
Note
wat r ur thoughts on frontiers so far??? i havent been 2 invested in recent sonic stuff but im watching a live playthrough and the atmosphere is sooooo cool it def seems like a step in the right direction 4 the series XP
dont want 2 spoil someone accidentally:P VVV
OMG LITERALY ITS SOOOOO GOOOOD sum aspects kf it reminds me of unleashed which is awesome 2 me cus rhats one of my faves… i dont pay much attention to actual gameplay in sonic i mostly like the storys and characters but frontiers is supeeer fun and i love being able to explore and do the challenges and the stages are pretty cool too … im not the best at them thiugh…. Seriously ive been talking myselr so much about how much i adore it its like they made a game just for melina i never play video games but this is so so fun to me. I was kind of confused at first tho ill be honest it is overwhelming with how big the islands are (im on the second one right now i forgot its name:P) but ithink im getting the hang of it its SO FUN EXPLORING SOOOO FUN and i like how sonic even mentions he likes how muchcroom there is to explore … omg the characterization im not too sureabout for amy i dont know if its her voice or what but THAT IS NOT AMY ROSE! I always get sad when she is written as more mature i miss 12 year old amy…She is so sweet though i still love her forever.&knuckles is so silly i love seeing sonic knuckles interactions OMG jusy so happy to see sonic characters talking to eachother and being friends i LOVEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also sage js so interesting i have no idea what is going on with her i didnt keep up with anything about the game before it released cus i didnt want spoilers but i like her. Very interedting veeeery interesting i like how they bring back phantom ruby stuff(i assume) along with lore established in sonic adventure i think it really ties the world together in a way i always craved im so hapoy they are building more on chaos and angel island and master emerald lore seriously … ALSO I LOVE THE DESIGNS FOR ALL THE CREATURES SO MACH OMG the koco are adorable i want keychains of them and in the second island the enemies are so sick oh mai god . … the little kocos true old form or whatever look like chaos mademe go nuts i got so excited i wonder wat it allll meaaansss…. Hopefully i will FIND OUT! Also the msyic so badass im so hapy after i finish the game i know i will be listening all the time its just too good>< i love how huge the game is too and there is socmuch you can do in it if you want to. Also im super into the weather and time changes i think it is so cool but makes you think sonic is staying awake for days and in the rain so gross he needs a shower .. I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS ASK I HAVE BARELY TALKED ABIUT IT TO ANYONE Nothing beats sonic adventure though🤷‍♀️lets be real.actually i miss sonics adventure attitude wah but i think in frontiers it is kind of saying they are older and not so much kids anymore which could explain why amy is like that… still not into it personally but i always think its interesting to hear them acknowledge past events.okay im done.okay. ITS JUST SO COOL before it came out i kind of thought i would not apply anything in the game to how i view the sonic world in my head (cus thats how i feel about sonic forces LOL i just ignore it) but its surpriseing me how much i like it i havent liked a sonic games  world building this much since sonic unleashed ... still i dont think frontiers will be like the basis of sonic for me but it gives super intruiging bits and pieces that i will hold on to forever in my brain. OKAY.i played at schol today in my math class its so hard playing in public cus i need to chill💆‍♀️OKAY IM DONE. okay but also like for me i usually dont really care much for new sonic stuff i like the old stuff wayyyy more but i agree this game is like a huge good step for the series GAH OKAY
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endless-season · 2 years
Text
Lucien’s Weibo Posts (2021)
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<< 2020 | [2021] | 2022 >>
2021-1-1
Human memories gradually build up and require markers to organise them into segments. Here’s hoping the New Year will create even more new and happy memories.
2021-1-10
A quiet environment better encourages people to reflect.
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2021-1-15
If one can both enjoy something magnificent as well as share it with someone else at the same time, that is the peak of happiness.
2021-1-22
“I spend so much time alone that silence has become a habit”. Perhaps silence is when you converse with your own heart.
T/N: Quoting ‘West with the Night’ by Beryl Markham
2021-1-29
Silent conversation
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2021-2-5
What one looks like to others is a question for others to answer, there is no need to blindly guess on their behalf.
2021-2-11 (Chinese New Year)
Wishing you a Happy Year of the Ox.
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2021-2-14 (Valentine’s Day SP Event)
🍁 ​​​
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2021-2-23
My jacket experienced the temperatures of two seasons today.
2021-2-27
Beautiful details are captivating even on film.
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2021-3-7
Sharing a picture
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2021-3-16
Why placebo candies can still have real positive effects on mood after being eaten could perhaps be attributed to the brain receiving these cues to release joy.
2021-3-20
Spring goes well with fireworks.
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2021-3-26
Cherry blossom latte is alright but the flavour is a bit strange.
2021-4-1 (April Fools)
Only smart people can see this post, happy holiday.
2021-4-8
Fragrant scent of every spring
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T/N: Quoting ‘Wisteria’ by Lao She
2021-4-16
A fated store
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2021-4-24
It is because of the existence of uncertainty that the confusion before reaching the truth can give rise to surprising possibilities.
2021-4-28
Sharing a picture
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2021-5-1 (Labour Day holiday)
It’s the perfect time for a trip. It would be a shame to miss out.
2021-5-13
Powerful influence.
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2021-5-23
People like to read tragedies alone but read comedies with others. Experiencing pain alone but willing to share happiness, it seems people are naturally community orientated.
2021-5-26
“Moss always points to civilisation”
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Video translation:
It’s been a while since I’ve visited the aquarium. Last time was… *smiles* Looking at the ocean inexplicitly makes one feel lonely - maybe it’s because it’s so vast. I wonder what you, the ones who’ve lived their entire lives within the aquarium glass, think of this? *chuckle* Looks like I still don’t have that kind of empathic special ability. But who knows what the future holds. After all, “Moss always leads to civilisation” and with the progress of civilisation comes deterioration and growth. So I guess we’ll wait a bit and see.
T/N: It really is Spongebob…
2021-6-1 (Children’s Day)
On Children’s Day, it seems all sorts of happiness will be influenced by the atmosphere to become a pure and simple feeling.
2021-6-11
The wrinkles on old books are like scars left by battling through wind and rain, touching them brings a special sense of preciousness.
2021-6-20 (Father’s Day)
Blooming season
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2021-6-29
Across different eras, people have assigned blessings and well wishes to particular objects. Perhaps this is because tangible things are more convincing than intangible things.
2021-7-6
Light and dark interweave under uniform viewfinders.
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T/N: A National Geographic exhibition apparently!
2021-7-12
The phototropism of plants can sometimes create interesting scenery.
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2021-7-20 (Oracle event)
Perhaps to deep seas or perhaps to the shallows
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2021-7-31
To record their own existence, people piece together photos to create a world completely formed from ‘the past’.
2021-8-7
Accidentally found some photos I took a few months ago. It’s as if spring has arrived twice.
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T/N: He initially forgot to write a caption lol
2021-8-14 (Qixi Festival)
Perhaps as your inner expectations increase, the probability of getting the outcome you want also increases.
2021-8-23
Space-time theories are being used to deconstruct antidrama techniques. In certain ways it’s like trying to find order within chaos, and perhaps that truly is the case for many people’s lives.
2021-8-31
Sharing a picture
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2021-9-7
Perhaps in every era there will always be a subset of people who miss the charm of the past.
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T/N: Image from ‘La Ronde’
2021-9-12
Besides the standard date, people will also use temperature, the colour of leaves, the harvest etc to determine when autumn has arrived. Thus, in the same space, there can exist numerous points of time at which autumn has begun.
2021-9-21 (Mid-Autumn Festival)
No matter where you admire the moon from, it will still invoke the strong sense of longing.
2021-9-25
It’s a good time to share tea.
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2021-10-5
It’s like swimming through a painting
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T/N: Summer palace collab event
2021-10-18
Poetry is an emotion as well as an artistic form. People love poems, perhaps because life itself is like writing a poem.
2021-10-23 (Pre Halloween Event)
A boundary separating vitality
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2021-10-31 (Halloween)
It’s the children’s turn to tell scary stories, if I’d known earlier, I should’ve pretended to be scared.
2021-11-6
Happened to see a flock of clouds migrating.
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2021-11-15 (Lucien bday!)
Perhaps the camera lens is not only captured by the clear sky but also the surrounding scenery.
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Xia Lei also commented on this post:
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T/N: “-ge” (lit. brother) is a polite way to refer to older guys.
2021-11-26
When appreciating art, people will tend to project a part of them onto it to understand it and unconsciously see themselves reflected.
2021-12-4 (Near Fourth Anniversary!)
Throughout the seasons, it seems as soon as we arrive in one, we start to look forward to the next.
2021-12-17
Perhaps after life withers, it continues to exist in some other form.
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2021-12-24 (Christmas Eve)
Sharing a picture
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<< 2020 | [2021] | 2022 >>
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gwyns · 1 year
Note
Hi. You don't know me but I've been following you for some time now and have enjoyed your content and humor. I hope you're doing ok and that whatever it is you're going through will pass soon. You've brought joy and entertainment to my life when I felt down and detached from the world and I hope I can return it in some way, even if it's just a little. Even if it's just for a few minutes. Even if it's just with this silly anonymous message.
It may be stormy now but it can't rain forever. Please take care and be more kind to yourself. <3
first let me say how much i love and appreciate you. your kindness has brought me some happiness in a very difficult time in my life and that means the absolute world to me so, from the bottom of my heart, thank you 🥰💖
i am so incredibly happy that my silly little blog could bring any kind of positivity into your life. it actually brings tears to my eyes bc it makes me feel as if i have some kind of purpose, as dumb as that may sound when you realize i'm talking about a fan blog (mostly) dedicated to smutty faerie books lol
i am always, always here for you anon (and anyone else who may be struggling) so feel free to message me anytime. anonymously or not. you're so important and once again, thank you so much <3
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roscgcld · 3 years
Note
OMG ITS RAINING!!! I FUCKING MIRACLE
AHAHAHAHA CONGRATS
4 notes · View notes
dailytatsu · 2 years
Note
Hello! I love your writing and I recently saw a post of yours about the reader being the God Of Chaos and I was wondering if you could make a part two with characters of your choice, if it’s not that much of a trouble! Remember to drink water and rest well <3
Tysm! I’m really happy to see that a lot of you enjoyed it, and being honest, chaos reader now have a special place in my heart lol
Then let’s write a second part! Hope everyone likes these as well! ( ✌︎'. ')✌︎
Thanks for the request!✨
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[II - HC] God of Chaos! Reader & Genshin Characters
Characters: Bennett, Tartaglia, Scaramouche, Ganyu, Chongyun
Gn! Reader
Sorry for any mistakes!
Request are open!
Genshin Masterlist
<- First part
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BENNETT
First of all, how dare u
This boy already has a chaotic life for you to arrive and making it worse.
But being honest, it wasn’t intentional, just like always.
Besides he’s a kid. The chaos of a kid + chaos of his bad luck, I mean- how were you not supposed to meet him?
That day was really strange, for the very first time the chaos wasn’t attracted by you, but you were attracted to chaos. Like a moth following a lantern on the street, something that you felt like you had to do, some kind of childish curiosity that guide your way to find Bennett in the middle of his adventure.
Poor boy was charging his pyro attack to max until a barrel exploded near him, he flew in the air waiting for a rough landing before his trajectory sent him where you were standing, still looking for the origin of that uneasy sensation of curiosity.
Luckily for him you could see his shadow just in time to react. You looked up because of the strange silhouette on the ground next to you and there he was, surrounded by a cloud of smoke and fire, with his screams getting louder and louder as he falls.
You trapped him in your arms, with the situation turning even more strange when the first thing he said was “nice catch!” with the bright smile of his.
Like if his hair on fire wasn’t a big deal.
It’s raining men ig
Before you could ask anything, a crowd of angry hilichurls appeared from the same direction where Bennett came at first.
The white haired boy jumped off from your arms and tried to grasp your hand to run away together, but instead you pulled him near and then behind you before rising your hand to the front, pointing the stampede of furious creatures about to reach you both.
Not even a leaf fell from a tree before the hilichurls stopped, all of them felt your presence immediately, the primitive sensation of danger that meant a silent threat. Following the message that another camp of them told long ago, ‘get away from that stranger’.
Bennett was surprised, kind of scared at least. He wasn’t sure about how to call that feeling.
Are you a beast tamer?! Maybe an adventurer that discovered a secret about hilichurl’s behavior! Wait- where are you going? Don’t leave him behind, the doubt won’t let him sleep tonight!
You explained to him that it was dangerous for both to be near each other (more dangerous for him than for you), still you needed to get away. To protect Bennett and the other adventurers that were exploring nearby.
But why? He was so excited about meeting someone who could react that fast and precise! Like the heroes in the legends!
Please show him your ways, he’s begging you, how can you be rude to Bennett? That literally illegal.
When he heard that there was a God of Chaos exploring all over Teyvat like an errant he connected two points (even if there wasn’t a single thing to connect in first place).
You’re like him!
Hello ?? You’re literally ?? the most qualified to be part of Benny’s Adventure Team ??
Negative plus negative is positive, isn’t it? Maybe if you roam near Bennett his bad luck can collide with your chaos to neutralize each other!
You told him that you were leaving after that short conversation, but in reality you just hide from his sights and followed him from behind.
That kid really put you on your nerves, running into danger without knowing. Was that what Zhongli have to deal with every time you visit Liyue?
The old man really deserves an apology.
You’re not doing this an habit, of course not! You’re the all mighty God of Chaos, the ultimate troublemaker! How was even possible to think about wanting to protect a human just because he has bad luck? That’s ridic-
“Watch out!” You had to abandoned your hiding spot to reach Bennett again, pulling him away from the place where a bunch of hunter’s traps were. “Barbatos, why all your children have to be like this?…” You whispered for yourself, actually waiting for a answer, maybe a little too much because you didn’t free Bennett. His feet were just barely touching the ground.
“Oh, it’s you! Hello again!”
Enough of babysitting, that’s it, both of you are heading back to Mondstadt. This boy is a danger for himself, who allowed him to be an adventurer in first place?
After abandoned him in front of the city’s bridge you turn back to the forest, believing that it was the end, even if in the process your chaos took the life of some pigeons nearby.
Next morning you were sleeping peacefully on the branches of a huge old tree, feeling the wind of your bard friend greeting you from the distance.
Then a storm started out of nowhere; your fault.
And almost immediately you heard a cheerful voice below you, calling your name like a lost child searching for their parents.
As Bennett climbs the tree to talk with you a lightning strikes near enough to make both of you jump because of the surprise, falling from the branch and meeting each other on the mud below.
“Sorry, my bad.” Bennett and you said at the same time, to later laugh because of that.
It seems that both are more alike than you would expect
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TARTAGLIA
How do I explain that this guy already knew about you-
As you may suspect, yes, his only reason of wanting to meet you was to fight you.
The first step for taking the thrones of gods is beating one of the youngest, isn’t it? It would be a good start, and you’d be also one of the best opponents he ever fought! The only thing still needed was a way to make you accept his challenge.
Tartaglia’s first try was by attacking you without hesitation, not even a warning, just shooting an arrow for behind and waiting for you to counter. And yes, that didn’t go as planned, the rope of his bow snapped even before aiming.
It wouldn’t be that easy, the distance is always boring for a fight, why not just attacking directly?
Because you learned from Morax that you must not hurt mortals; the reason of your trip was for appreciate the human’s life, to understand why you exist, to have a reason to not end with everything that crosses your path.
To convince yourself that you’re not only destruction.
But it was hard to stay calm if he constantly provokes you to fight back. Always dodging, always running away, always breaking his weapons.
Barely holding yourself to not to break his Vision at this point.
Dodging one of his attacks again you ended up on top of a nearby structure by the side of the road, watching him from above and begging for him to stop for once.
Tartaglia clicked his tongue in annoyance, you would escape again. He was as sick as you of that senseless hunt. Maybe was the stress what impede him to think wisely, because his next strategy was like a death wish.
The water blades disappeared from his hands and, for the first time, he had a casual talk with you. Smiling and waving his hands to look relaxed.
Then he mentioned the incident with Osial, a event that almost became a tragedy. And the only reason you knew about that was because Morax told you about it, about his contract and the reason why he left his position as an Archon the next time you visited him.
It was your fault, isn’t it?
“… what?”
"As you heard! The conditions for summoning Osial was ideal, bringing back a sealed god filled with hatred and hungry for destruction couldn't have been possible if you hadn't been around Liyue that day.” His hand lifted to pointing at you, also smiling as your expression turned into a concerned one. “Oh, our God of Chaos, you were successfully satiated as the catastrophe filled the ocean! Bring us back the destruction, because it's the only thing you ever knew!”
He was obviously just mocking you, but still Tartaglia managed to actually make you think about it.
Your fault. Your chaos.
And even with that, Rex Lapis didn’t seal you or tried to eradicated you like the burden that you are for every nation.
It’s just a matter of time before you destroy all humane existence when you get bored of your fantasy of not being a spirit of chaos.
An infinity of negative and dark thoughts began to fill your mind.
It was sad, it was so sad that the erosion already began to have an effect on you being so young. You were afraid, you were concerned, the stress ate you inside while you tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t like he said.
Your mind collapsed, and you left the wrath take the control for the first time in centuries.
A fight? That’s all he wanted? Easy, that’s easy, just kill him and everything will end. His annoying voice won’t torment you ever again, his words won’t hurt ever again.
It’s easy, so easy. Mortal life is so easy to end.
He’ll defeat the gods, he’ll take their thrones and will witness the world’s end in the final battle he planned since his first encounter with the traveler.
But that day Tartaglia noticed the difference between your strength, it wasn’t huge, neither significant enough. But you were stronger, and it’s well known that wrath and despair can provide extra energy when it’s needed.
The perception of time disappeared, the world did too. Nature, men creation, everything will succumb against chaos, existence itself will be reduce to ashes.
That’s why you exist, to make sure there’s not too much heroes trying to make the nations a boring place. You just need to accept it!
But…
‘There’s no other way?’
The question sparkle inside your mind, bringing you back out of nowhere. There’s a lot of irregularities in the ground nearby, the land was broke for something that impacted with an inhuman strength, even the structure where you step on top was gone, just the remain of a building was left.
And your hands were holding something bland and soft, the warm sensation on your palms and the strange movements caught your attention to look down. Your hands were strangling Tartaglia.
From the other side his hands were trying to remove yours, his strength was minimal, not even able of closing his fingers around your wrist.
A expression full of pain and regretting of his decisions, question by question filling his mind while the air became harder to get.
A broken bow, his Vision has been thrown away. Now it was a human versus a god.
You took a step back, afraid of what you were about to do. You have to stay calm and quiet forever? To prevent catastrophe, to bring peace to mortals? Who’s the one you have to blame for creating you? How you could think that coexisting with humans was possible? Even if you say that you don’t want to make any problems you would stay near them.
“Just… leave me alone.”
Was the last thing you said, a whisper that wanted to apologize for a whole eternity, a regret that couldn’t be forgot. And then you left that place, escaping one last time.
But wait for him, Tartaglia thought, he didn’t need your compassion.
Sooner or later he would have his revenge.
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SCARAMOUCHE
Finally! With Shogun Raiden’s gnosis on his possession and the all mighty hero of Mondstadt weakened there’s no way things can go wrong for him!
A little delay in his plans, but still a smile remained on his face. Kunikuzushi couldn’t wish for anything else right now.
But you already know what is going to happen next.
In this world exist Murphy’s Law?, because anything that could go wrong went wrong after he claim for victory. Even being far away of the factory it seemed that the karma reached him immediately.
He just got his guard down for a couple seconds, and then, whoshh. Now you see it, now you don’t. The gnosis disappeared from his pocket, not here, not there. The annoyance filled his chest and then a irritated growl came from his throat.
What in the world happened?
Scaramouche looked to a huge tree in front of him, and there you were. On your favorite place to sit, above from everyone else in a branch. Holding the gnosis as the board piece it looks like, playing throwing it up a little and then catching it again and again.
Who you think you are to act that carefree on his presence? If you wanted to die so bad then you could just have asked for it.
Even if he called you and made a question first you counter it with another one, what was he doing with that thing?
You were sick of those who defy the gods thanks to his ‘workmate’.
Scaramouche ordered you to give him the gnosis back, threats and insults came out from his mouth as a distraction; in reality, he was just ready to set the first hit from behind.
But something made him stop just in time when you talked again.
“I don’t care what you are planning, but if it involves the ones who I’m in debt with, you will surely fail.”
“Another clairvoyant? Hah, your type are more words than an actual subject matter, but I have to admit it, they’re also very skill to escape.”
“It was a warning.” You said, throwing again the gnosis, this time to his direction.
Scaramouche reacted in time to rise his arms but in midair something caught the chess-like piece before his fingers. Surprising him again and making the irritation event more unbearable.
It was a tanuki. The same that looked behind a second before running even deeper in the forest.
The chaos isn’t necessary a huge disaster; a little accident, an inconvenient, a failure, it depends time and place to be considered like a catastrophe.
Scaramouche had a killer gaze just for you in his face, in respond you smiled at him, then covered your mouth with both hands to fake surprise.
“What a shame! Better luck next time, gods defier.” Your laugh could be heard all over the woods, like a spectral echo that chased him his way to get back the gnosis.
He got it back after a few minutes of a stressful walk through the forest, found the tanuki dancing on a stone before disappearing again. When he got closer he found that piece, making sure it was the real one and not just another trick.
The following days he received endless reports of Fatui soldiers and entire camps being reduced to rubble aside lost or destroyed materials; it was a higher level sabotage done by who they said was someone of relatively young appearance in strange clothes, the one that enjoyed staring at them until something goes wrong.
Nobody could defeat them, not even get closer. And with that, Scaramouche knew they were talking about you.
Was that what you meant with “warning”? Who are you exactly? Not even holding a Vision, how could you… ?
A quick order was enough to deliver him a book full of ancient legends, part of the Fatui private collection. Texts that were lost and the world had forgotten, his only hope was that you weren't exactly mortal, and if that was the case they could take advantage of your nature.
Hah, he found you.
God of Chaos, a body sculptured by the blood and bodies of the ones who died in middle of the wars. At first they were just a being full of anger and affinity for taking the life of every living being on earth, until the same hand that created them gave them a human heart of their own. Made without any prior basis, without being the remains of the deceased. Something one of a kind, the mortal heart of a god.
When human emotions filled the vessel they were released into the world, to mourn over the spilled blood and to know how everything of their existence originates. Born from the red that stained the fields and being the bud that seemed withered, the same that now has the deepest roots ever found.
Hmm, that brings back some memories…
But hey, that vital energy could be useful.
Don’t be surprised if one day you wake up chained and feeling dizzy as Scaramouche drains your life. You know what? Just wait for it! Running away as you did with that idiot won’t work this time.
Every possibility can be foreseen, every inconvenience can be solved. And if you think that you’re an exception then you’re stupider than you look.
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GANYU
Bold of you assume that Zhongli didn’t introduce you to everyone the first time you travel to Liyue.
The difference between your meeting was that it had to be really short. Ganyu is always busy so you couldn’t know her better before her duty called for her again.
Obviously you heard a lot of stories of her childhood thanks to Cloud Retainer. The day she knew about it Ganyu avoided you, next week she apologized with you about it. It was very rude, please pardon her.
Such a big sister vibes ngl
An Adeptus working that hard to human’s matters. It was so cool to follow her from a significant distance to see how was her routine.
If you could only live that peacefully near humans without causing any problem! What a dream! The envy was killing you.
Ganyu didn’t mind about you stalking her, the feeling of a companion was always present and she also knew that you had to keep some distance from everybody to not cause any accident. She appreciated your consideration.
Until a soldier from the millelith arrested you for harassment, wait- you’re innocent! Don’t get closer, hold on! Hold on!
The handcuffs broke almost immediately, though.
When Ganyu resolved the misunderstanding she hold your hands to apologize again, it had to be really stressful to be aware of any chaos you could create accidentally.
What if you… wait for her on the surroundings of the city?
Please, she have a lot of work, don’t interrupt her, she’s begging you.
Ganyu thought you heard her request, but she knew that you were just hiding when a window opened out of nowhere and a lot of documents flew away in the room.
You appeared hanging upside down from the other side of the window, jumped down and entered to pick up the documents. You hand her over all the pages and then you leave through the space on the wall.
“… I’ll be in Huaguang Stone Forest… ”
“Thank you.”
Even though you both agreed that you would return to the stone forest, she couldn't help but feel guilty as the hours passed, did you feel like a nuisance? Maybe she should apologize. Again.
When another successful day at work ended, she realized that repeating the same words over and over was not the best way to show her regret. That’s why a better idea formed in his head as she approached the abode of the rest of Adeptus.
Ganyu found you being scolded by Mountain Shaper for unintentionally releasing the trespassing intruders along with other creatures from their amber prisons.
After rescuing you again, she was able to propose her idea to you. With a calm and charming voice she asked you if you would like to learn about Liyue's traditions from the human perspective.
Sure, Zhongli could tell you about the beginning of traditions and festivities, but the way to celebrate them and pay tribute to the Adeptus was something that only a person who had lived among mortals for years could explain to you.
Your eyes shone in gratitude but no words really came out of your lips, kind of embarrassed you said some nonsensical things and then another amber cracked when you brushed its surface.
Mountain Shaper kicked you out without thinking twice.
But hey! The next day your classes on Culture from the Mortal Perspective began! A quick but calm walk through Liyue that got spread when a bunch of kids recognized you.
How could they not remember the person who plays with them every time they get a chance?
Ganyu sat by the side of the road on an empty bench, watching you scamper the children who seemed happy at your mere presence. Like the occasional accidents of a child, the curious and outlandish nature cannot be controlled, only accepted.
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CHONGYUN
Don’t move! The future best exorcist in the world, Chongyun, will put an end to your legacy of misdeeds and pranks! No evil specter that causes bad luck will survive to-!
Just by lightly tapping with your fingertips you were able to break the seal of the talismans that surrounded you out of nowhere. Pushing back the boy who was convinced that he had beaten his yang.
how dare u interrupt him.
Another of Xingqiu’s pranks? Isn’t this going a little to far? He hadn’t learn about not believing everything his friend says smh.
Let’s just mess with him a little.
‘Measure your words, human. In the presence of the God of Chaos, the first thought that should run through your mortal instinct is to beg for your life, since those who dare to defy them will be punished and displayed as a trophy in the infinity of the abyss from which the catastrophe came out.’
You took a few steps closer to him, while Chongyun kept backing away. The scene was so dramatic that you had to stop when the boy summoned his sword.
Haha jk, nice to meet u.
It's nice to know that there are still such dedicated exorcists out there.
But wait-, so you're not an evil spirit? A God? Why is there a god causing accidents all over Liyue!? That makes no sense! If you think you can deceive him by pretending to be a deity then he shall punish you severely for disrespecting them!
After a detailed explanation of your identity, Chongyun's mood plummeted again due to another failure as an exorcist.
He sat silently on a rock and remained silent, his expression showed so well his disappointed that it made you feel like it was your fault.
Ohno, a sad human child, your weakness-
At the end you sat next to him to listen to what he had to say.
Did he really want to see a spirit so badly? Those things are horrible, wearing strange clothes and yelling all the time, buagh! The thought of it gives you chills. But there's nothing you can do, after all they are drawn to your chaos.
When you finished talking so indifferently about what you lived through from day to day, you looked back at Chongyun, finding his expressive eyes filled with astonishment and disbelief.
Are you a magnet of evil? Chaos and destruction? Demons and spirits alike appear wherever you go?
Then you stopped him, it wasn't something to take so lightly; there’s also the chaos of the butterfly effect, natural disasters, unforeseen events, influencing the mood of evil people, losing your favorite pair of socks-
But you attract spirits, right!? You have to help him! How can you say ‘no’ to that face?
The next day he took you to one of his commissions as an exorcist, a house that had numerous reports from its previous tenants. He stayed outside and asked you to come in first, obviously you refused, if your chaos broke something inside you would have more problems besides the ghosts of the house.
He insisted a little more, it worked. Now you were waiting to feel the presence of some spirit trying to attack you. You could feel it, their energy was spread throughout the building, but still there was no movement. Neither hostility, neither terror, just the presence of a soul.
When it was Chongyun's turn to enter you explained this to him, his yang was also easy to perceive, you could describe it as a blizzard in the middle of the storm. But despite this, that presence didn’t react to his energy, nothing changed.
Then you understand it, your energies neutralized each other. Your chaos and his yang ended in a stalemate that went nowhere.
“I was really hoping to see an actual spirit and not only stay still in the middle of the entrance… “
“Well, I can still curse you. Want to try?” Chongyun crossed his arms, annoyed for your jokes.
“Maybe I should exorcize you instead… ”
“Ohh, so the little exorcist wants a deity to be his personal dummy? Let’s make a pact then. Promise me your soul.”
“I-I thought you said you weren’t actually a demon!”
When you stroked his hair he couldn't help but think about how much he still had to learn, so much so that even the gods were taking pity on him.
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makeste · 3 years
Text
BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain
Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.
Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.
lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then
“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh
so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down
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his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch
(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)
side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”
ha ha ha, fucking ouch
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are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??
huh
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you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you
(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)
also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice
fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two
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All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you
is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist
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look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is
ffkdjslk
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“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what
-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol
okay fuck this
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see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight
just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up
oh my god
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“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob
omg why am I laughing. shit
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this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it
lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao
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just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me
adsfklwkfsdwgkj
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ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg
STAIN: heard you talking shit old man
ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain
STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way
ME: gljfljgk
(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)
sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”
good thing he still knows how to do this party trick
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A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything
lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone
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way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one
oh wait
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Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride
oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this
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(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)
Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony
dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue
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oh my god my heart
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shit
why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters
“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit
and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could
so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might
“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks
wtf
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are you dead All Might
um
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I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol
oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??
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hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??
oh my godddd
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and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much
FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING
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DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON
holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol
OH ARE WE STILL GOING
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my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think
...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time
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I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma
YAYYY
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it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit
anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech
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I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place
-- okay LISTEN
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YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this
holy fucking shit
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“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”
so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then
“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”
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it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip
anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol
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“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort
so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol
mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit
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