#raiders from the rings

[lustspren]

P.S.T EP. 12 | Love Language ft Ningning.

length: 12k words✦

Ningning & Male Reader

Special Guest: ITZY

genres: oral sex, dirty talk, ass eating, facetime sex, squirt, footjob, lesbian, butt play, sneaky blowjob/handjob, bit fluffy

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Once again, the Miami morning sun filtered through the balcony window and filled your room with light. The shine was annoying on your eyes, but it was the perfect natural wake-up call for you to open them and look at the beautiful angel lying next to you.

Yoo Jimin was pure natural and ethereal beauty. You had read multiple times on different social networks that she looked like she was made by computer, and you had never understood those comments as much as you did at that moment when you saw her peacefully sleeping. You moved as subtly as you could to lean on one elbow and brush a strand of hair away from her temple. You brought two of your knuckles close to her cheek and rubbed it slowly; she shifted slightly, and grabbed you by your wrist so you could cradle that side of her face with your hand. You couldn't help but smile. She clung to your hand as if it were a teddy bear.

Of course the cute moment couldn't last too long. The doorbell of the suite and multiple messages on your phone snapped you out of your trance. You frowned, since it was fucking 7 in the morning. While you were reading the messages the doorbell rang a couple more times.

When you finished reading the messages you lowered the phone and found that Jimin was already beginning to open her eyes. She had the same annoyed expression as you as she rubbed her eyes.

"Well, I have to assume the deal between you two is over," you told her with a sigh.

You got out of bed, turned off the air conditioning, and reluctantly put on some boxers. You left the bedroom and walked through the corridors of the suite. The doorbell continued ringing, and you quickened your pace so that it would shut up once and for all. When you reached the door and opened it, all the girls except Noze began to enter the suite like raiders. Minjeong and Aeri passed you by without even saying hello, but when Ning did she hugged you around the waist and kissed your cheek to join the other two.

"Mother of God! This place is huge!" you heard Aeri say from behind you.

"I want to stay in a place like this too!" Minjeong protested as well. Ningning didn't say anything.

"Weren't there more subtle ways to wake me up?" you asked, looking Noze in the eyes. She didn't seem to care at all, "How annoying, damn."

"Aha whatever," she waved her hand and walked past you. You closed the door with a huff, "Today's breakfast and meeting will be here."

Just then Jimin also came out, wearing nothing but panties. She was still sleepy and her hair was a mess. She stood looking towards the balcony with a frown. Minjeong was looking at figurines on a shelf, Aeri was next to the coffee table, and Ningning was sitting on the couch. You could see in her face that she wanted to lie down and sleep too.

"Oh, can we all have breakfast naked then?" Aeri teased with a giggle, looking at Jimin.

"Go get dressed before room service arrives," Noze ordered, with a sternness that let you know she was in no mood for jokes.

You and Jimin went back into the bedroom and while you were in there you agreed to take longer on purpose. How did you do it? She gave you a quick blowjob, made you cum inside her mouth, and right after that was when you really started getting dressed. You came out and all of them were already settled at the table on the balcony. You took the free seats. Jimin to your left, Noze to the right.

That particular morning it felt like you were in hell itself. You didn't know how many degrees it was, but the sun stung your skin. You thanked god it wasn't right above your head, otherwise you would have been roasted alive. Luckily, the sea breeze counteracted the heat a little and kept you cool.

Noze began to detail all the activities scheduled for that day. You were all paying as much attention as you could, but it was evident on your faces that none of you had rested well enough to be fully operational at that time of the morning. As soon as she finished, seconds later room service arrived.

"Well? How were those nights?" Minjeong asked you, sitting next to Jimin, "I think I deserve to know the details, right?"

The hotel workers placed plate after plate on the table, which soon began to fill with food of all kinds. That made you remember the breakfast Jimin had made you eat the day before, and you had Vietnam flashbacks. Your gaze was lost looking at some boiled eggs with vegetables.

"We just bro'ed out, ate pizza and played video games," Jimin replied with a mischievous smile, "Nothing exciting, Minjeong-ah."

"Hey, hurry up and eat. It's getting late," Noze interrupted you.

"Mother of God, late for what," you said, wrinkling your forehead, "Not even the roosters have woken up at this point."

Noze glared at you, but the rest of the girls laughed at your joke. You, however, didn't find it so funny, you still felt exhausted from the day before and what you were saying was a real complaint. All of you finished your breakfast in a matter of about ten minutes. This time you didn't eat much; it was enough for you with some egg and cheese toast, and some cereal bars.

"Girls, go to the lobby with the rest of the staff so they can take you to the venue. They are already waiting for you," Noze told the girls.

All the girls obediently wiped their mouths with napkins and stood up. Jimin said goodbye to you with a couple of pats on the cheek. Ning gave you a kiss on the cheek again, along with a light caress on your chin. You could feel yourself almost melting at her soft touch, but you hid it as best you could.

"Did you have fun with Jiminie?" Noze asked you once all the girls left.

"Sex with her is fucking amazing, I'm not going to lie. But the best thing of all was feeling like she was just another good friend... I mean, I got to know her a lot better, and that was very valuable to me."

"Yeah," she nodded, looking out toward the open sea, "it probably doesn't show much on the outside but she's a very down-to-earth girl."

"You and her get along well, don't you?"

"She's the leader of the group I manage, silly, I have to get along with her anyway. But you're not wrong, she and I have formed a special bond over time."

“Um…” Noze knew what you were thinking, she laughed and tapped you on the forehead with her middle finger.

"I don't like her, idiot. And she doesn't like me either. In fact, she's told me more than once that she's not interested in girls, not in a romantic way at least."

"I imagine so. Dating restrictions only lead to them fucking each other."

"Mhum. But that can get out of control sometimes, that's why I have to keep them in line."

"And I'm the tool to do it huh?"

"Mmm, kind of, but you're not just a tool anymore. Those girls really like you, so it's up to you not to let them down."

"I have no plans to do so either."

"Cool,” she turned her gaze to you again, "Now, you have work to do."

"Which paparazzi needs to have their teeth broken?"

"All of them, but that's not what I want you to do. I need you to collect all the girls' luggage and leave them ready for the hotel check out."

"Oh, piece of cake."

"However, I have bad news for you," she said as you made a move to get up from the chair. You sat down again.

"What's the matter?"

"This morning my days of the month started. You don't need to be very smart to know what I mean. And I know the girls well enough to know that theirs is coming too."

"Oh, okay, but what's up with that?"

"Nothing. I just apologize in advance for any behavior you may have to bear over the next few days. Not just theirs."

"Nah, no need. I think I'm pretty tolerant."

"Alright," she nodded and stood up. You did too, "Oh, one more thing. After tonight's concert we're taking a bus to Atlanta. I booked a nice spacious one just for the six of us."

"Damn, that sounds great," you and her left the balcony and walked into the suite.

"Yup, we'll have a three-day break between tonight's concert and the next one. So if you want some time to yourself and grab some souvenirs, that’s your chance."

"Oh, great. Yuna will start crying if I don't bring her something," you let out a sigh, "Well, I have work to do, if you'll excuse me."

"Go ahead, and good luck. Who knows what you might encounter in those rooms," Noze turned around with a laugh and left the suite.

Of course you started with your and Jimin's luggage. There weren't many clothes scattered around the room, you had been as organized as possible and everything was perfectly in order. You just had to make the bed, leave everything as you found it when you first entered and get to work with the other rooms. You already had an order that you would follow, and since you knew Minjeong and what she was capable of, you decided to leave her room as the last one just so you could be mentally prepared for what you would find there.

You started in Aeri's room. It was frankly a disaster. There were clothes of all kinds everywhere: blouses, sweaters, pants and panties. The main place of concentration was around the bed. You picked up each piece of clothing and folded it as best you could to put it in the suitcases that weren't even completely unpacked. It was evident that with each passing day she only took out what she needed and survived that way. It didn't take you too long to gather her things and leave everything neatly packed.

Ning's room followed. Just as you expected, that room looked as if no one had used it in weeks. Everything was perfectly organized and clean. Ning's suitcases were neatly packed and organized at the foot of the bed. You noticed there was a small note on top of one of them. You went to pick it up and read it.

'Thank you for taking such good care of me, darling.

Love, Ning.'

You smiled from ear to ear, folding the note to put it in the back pocket of your pants. You made a mental note to spend more time with her over the next few days so you could thank her for making your job so easy. She was certainly a being of light who deserved all the love in the world.

The joy didn't last too long. The next room was Minjeong's, and you couldn't put it off much longer.

You were mentally prepared—or so you thought—, but as soon as you opened the door, what your eyes saw left you perplexed. There was a very stark dichotomy in the room, almost as if it had been cut in two and each half had been used by a different person. The suitcases were well organized and her bed was half made, which was appreciated. But the other side was an exaggerated conglomeration of sex toys of all kinds: dildos of all colors and sizes, vibrators, handcuffs—you had no idea she had any—, and even a pair of anal plugs that you didn't expect she had.

You stared at the sexual objects for a few long seconds without really knowing how to act or what to do. Hundreds of dirty thoughts ran through your head. One of them was Minjeong with her wrists handcuffed behind her back being fucked in her ass. Another was her sucking you off while she had one of those butt plugs buried in her ass.

You quickly came back to reality and set about gathering all the things the best way you could. Looking back you noticed an empty bag, you immediately assumed it was the bag she had dedicated entirely to her toys. You took it, put it on the bed and started putting things there. While you were doing it, you were surprised that one of the plugs was still warm and with a light layer of lubricant on top.

"This girl..." you murmured in disbelief, holding the plug by the edge so as not to stain yourself.

However, this was not the only thing. One of the dildos was also warm and wet with what you knew were Minjeong's fluids. You cursed her in your head. She had done it entirely on purpose knowing that you were going to collect the luggage.

As you put the dildo away, just like there was a camera in the room or something, you received a message from Minjeong.

You didn't even bother to answer, you just grabbed both toys to clean them in the bathroom and put them away with the rest of the things. With all the things ready, you prepared to make your way to the lobby, still with Minjeong's dirty thoughts running through your head non-stop. You had to make a little mental effort to get that out of your head. You thought about Noze looking at you with a look like she wanted to kill you, but that only made it worse. So you imagined your high school math teacher in a bikini. That was it.

When you arrived at the lobby you had to ask a couple of staff members for help to fetch a few suitcases that you left behind since you didn't have enough arms to carry them all, but soon everything was ready for check out.

With everything ready to go you had the girls' luggage begin to be loaded onto the big bus that Noze had booked. It looked like one of those buses that soccer teams used to go from one city to another, spacious, nice and modern.

You still had some free time to go to the venue, and remembering that the days of girls' month were approaching, you decided to run to the nearest store to buy them some things. You put your deepest feminine instinct into practice to figure out what to buy; in the end you decided on chocolates of all kinds, snacks, gummies, small soft stuffed animals and last but not least, pain pills—you had to ask the woman at the pharmacy which ones were suitable for menstrual cramps.

When you bought everything and went to the venue with the bags in your hands, you found that everything was absolute chaos. You rushed into the middle of the commotion to help with whatever you were useful for, and in the blink of an eye, the next thing you knew, there was a crowd outside eager to see their favorite girl group. The girls were ready to go on stage.

From that backstage area you could perfectly see the audience from the darkness, where the spotlights did not shine. You dedicated yourself to seeing as many people as you could, all of them with an emotion that oozed out of their pores. At that moment you thought about how truly blessed you were to be able to enjoy each concert from that position, and above all, because of the good relationship you had with each of them.

The days went by and you watched each concert until the end, but it never ceased to amaze you how Noze had everything running like a perfectly adjusted clock. The logistics were impeccable in every sense of the word. The costume changes were smooth; every emerging need of the girls was met almost immediately; the lighting never failed, and the sound was incredibly well mixed.

The concert came to an end, and soon everything began to be dismantled. You, Noze and the girls met backstage.

"Damn fucking mother Nature," you heard Aeri say to your left, with English and tone worthy of Mean Girls.

“I'm too bloated, oh my god,” Ning complained, pointing a portable fan at herself, “Please tell me I still looked pretty,” she asked you.

"You always look pretty baby, now go drink some water, please."

"I'm going to fucking explode," Minjeong growled, going to sit in a chair. Jimin sat next to her.

"Hey, at least it's not the worst that could have happened," you said.

"And what do you think is the worst that could have happened, genius?" Noze said, passing by you.

"I don't know, a space kitty invader could have come and devastated the venue. Come on, cheer up. Soon you'll be able to sleep comfortably."

Your words were intended to perhaps lift their spirits a little, and it seemed to work at least a little. Everyone's faces lit up and they looked at you with little smirks.

"He's right," Noze said, "All we have to do is get on that bus and sleep until we get to Atlanta."

"That sounds like a dream to me," Jimin sighed, "let's hurry up and get out of here."

For the next few minutes you dedicated yourself to being as helpful as possible so that the girls didn't have to do too much before getting on the bus. Once inside, everyone took advantage of the tinted windows to start changing into baggy and comfortable clothes. You did it too. You put on an adidas sports outfit; black tracksuit jacket and sweatpants along with your sliders.

"Girls! I have some gifts for you," you announced, taking the bags that until now no one had wondered what they were.

"A magic pill that will automatically eliminate the menstrual process from our body?" Jimin asked.

"I'm still working on it, I ask for patience."

You went through the seats and began to distribute everything you had bought. All of the girls had wide smiles forming on their faces. You distributed everything evenly, leaving some chocolates and snacks for yourself.

"Oh my god thank youuu!" Aeri squealed with excitement, grabbing her unicorn stuffed animal and hugging it. Jimin had a whale, Minjeong a Siberian husky, Ning a tiger, and Noze had a clown fish.

"This is so cute I might throw up," Minjeong joked with an adorable smile.

"Just wait for you to sit here. I'm going to kiss you like you've never been kissed before," Ning said from one of the wide sofa-like seats.

"Noze didn't pay you for this right?" Jimin laughed, opening a twix chocolate with her whale hugged to her body.

"As incredible as it may seem, no, I didn't," Noze replied, also with a little smile of disbelief.

The bus finally started, and everyone started eating many of the things you gave them. You had gone to sit with Ning, and just as she had promised, as soon as you sat next to her she wrapped her arms around your neck and kissed you multiple times on the lips and all over your face.

"You're so sweet," kiss, "and adorable," kiss, "and loving," kiss, "and wonderful."

She cupped both hands on either side of your face and looked at you with bright eyes. You were going to kiss her again until Aeri opened her mouth.

"Hey, I'm sorry to ruin your romantic moment," she apologized, "but can you come and massage my back and feet? Pleaaaase?"

"Fuck, I can't say no to that. Can I too?" Ning asked.

"Me too?" Jimin asked. Minjeong repeated the question. Surprisingly Noze too.

You had no choice but to agree to their requests. You went to Aeri's seat and started warming up your fingers before you started. Your specialty was doing massages, and this time you would do the routine you always did to loosen the muscles. Aeri melted into your hands, letting out long sighs of relief and taking deep breaths that you took as good signs; she even pulled up her baggy sweater so you had better access to her back muscles, which was really helpful. When you finished with her back, you knelt in front of her to repeat the process with her feet, which you noticed were incredibly tense and swollen.

As soon as you finished your work with Aeri you signaled Ning and Noze to have one of them come over since Minjeong and Jimin had fallen asleep before their turn. It was Ning who reached you first. You tried to work as quickly as you could, while still treating the two girls in the best way possible so that they could have a pleasant rest.

When the massages were done, you, Noze and Ning went to the sofa at the back of the bus where she was sitting. The space was very cozy, and it was an area of the bus—which in itself already seemed like a small apartment— where the air conditioning was colder and more pleasant. As soon as you placed your butt back on the padded surface you sighed and finally settled down to look at the layout of your surroundings. To your right was a corner sofa with a dining table. To your left, a small desk with an artificial campfire. In front you had a couple more seats, one on each side of a small table with a lamp and a television attached to the wall.

"Have you ever seen No Strings Attached?" you asked the girls.

They were huddled against you, Ning on your right and Noze on your left. Both hugged in your arms. They both shook their heads.

"Well, it will be your first time then."

You grabbed the TV remote and went to Netflix to find the movie. The three of you started watching the movie, but halfway through, Ning fell asleep. You noticed it from her adorable, subtle snores that filled your heart with tenderness. That left you alone with Noze. Once again.

"She snores like her stuffed animal would, she's so damn adorable," she said in a low, husky voice, followed by a giggle.

"Do you think she liked it?"

You had a hand placed on her thigh. You hadn't done it on purpose, just your hand ended up there, but she didn't say anything about it.

"Are you kidding? I haven't seen girls this excited and happy about something in a long time," she lifted her head from your shoulder to look at you, "It was a very nice gesture on your part, really, thank you."

You also turned your head to look at her. You met a pair of sleepy and somewhat shiny gorgeous eyes, but inevitably your gaze drifted to her full, red lips. She looked inexplicably beautiful like that, with her hair somewhat messy and dressed in that sweater that was twice her size. You were so, so tempted to make a move, but you held back.

"There's nothing to thank me for, it's my way of showing that I really love them."

"Does that include me?"

"Why, are you jealous?"

"No, it's just that you're looking to sleep in a hotel lobby when we get to Atlanta."

You couldn't help but smile. She really was jealous.

"Of course that includes you... Noze? I'm starting to not like calling you that, darling."

"Jihye," she finally said with an adorable smile, "Noh Jihye."

"Oh, so that's where the No in the name comes from."

"Aha, you're very smart, congratulations," she lay back on your shoulder with a giggle, "shut up and let's finish watching the movie, I'm exhausted."

The reality was that the movie hadn't even ended when she fell asleep, so you finished watching it alone. When the credits popped out, you turned off the TV and made yourself comfortable between the two of them, resting your head on Ning's and fell asleep just like that.

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You and Aeri woke up when you were passing through Cordele, but the rest of the girls didn't wake up until you were passing through Macon. Another hour passed when you finally arrived in Atlanta, straight towards your destination: the Ritz-Carlton hotel, a small but wide building in the middle of the city.

"Alright girls, you have a few days off to relax. Enjoy it," Noze announced as you arrived at the hotel lobby, which was honestly the most impressive to you yet.

"You still owe me a massage, don't forget," Jimin told you, she was walking in front of you.

"Aha, sure thing," you nodded, looking at the enormous heptagon of warm lights above your heads. The spacious reception in front of you.

"Hey, I'd like to have a few drinks with you one of these nights, are you up?" Noze told you, standing to your left.

"You don't even have to ask me. You know the answer."

She smiled and walked towards the reception as she watched you.

"Cool," she winked at you and prepared to say a few words to the receptionist, "Oh, and for the record!" She turned around to see you all, "You have free rein to do whatever you want, but if you are going to leave the hotel make sure you communicate it through the appropriate channels. Me, basically."

You stood waiting for a few minutes while Noze got you all the cards. As you did so, you all took the wide stairs that led to the first floor. That's where the elevators and the real hotel started, and also where you all parted ways to go to your rooms.

Your room was spacious and with good views of the rest of the city. The first thing you saw when you entered was the queen size bed with white sheets and pillows, and another long pillow but gray with white prints in the middle of them. In front of the bed there was a chest of drawers with dark varnished wood on the top and champagne-colored melamine on the drawers; two large ones on each side and four small ones in the middle. On the wall behind the dresser was the television, and to the left of it was also a small dark desk with a dark brown plastic chair. Finally, at the back of the room, right in front of the window, there was a large dark silver alcantara sofa with a small circular high table in front of it.

The first thing you did when you entered was take off your shoes and start unpacking all the things you knew you would use during those three days. After putting everything in the dresser and leaving your laptop and phone on top, you went directly to the bathroom to take a necessarily long shower. You came out again with the towel around your waist and went to check on your phone, finding that you had a message to read.

It was Lia. And when you read her name, a huge feeling of guilt attacked you for not having been able to pay attention to them. You immediately responded to her.

After having responded to Lia you decided to also write to the rest of the girls—all while you were in a towel in front of the widely open curtains where anyone from the building across the street could see you.

Of course, the first was Chaery.

Once you sent all the corresponding messages, you got dressed, turned on the air conditioning and went to close the curtains in the room. Then you grabbed your laptop from the top of the dresser and made yourself comfortable on the couch. You started watching Haikyuu, an anime that you wanted to start for a while but hadn't had time to. A couple of hours passed when you remembered that Rina still wanted that massage, so you picked up your phone and texted her.

When you received confirmation from her you closed your laptop, put your phone in the pocket of your sweatpants and went straight to Jimin's room. The door was open, and when you put your hand on the knob and opened it you found Jimin already lying face down on her hands. She was completely topless, but she was still wearing short sports shorts. You also noticed that her room was exactly the same as yours, only she had a view of the city that had the Oconee National Forest in the background.

"Straight to the point huh?" You teased with a chuckle, closing the door behind you.

"Kinda," she sighed, "my back is killing me."

"I think I have a solution for that."

You took your phone out of your pocket and climbed onto the bed with her to put it aside. Then you straddled her butt and did the same finger warm-up you always did.

"Fuck, you're heavy you know?" she complained.

"Do you want the massage or not, crybaby?" you rubbed your hands together quickly to warm them up and then placed them on her bare shoulder blades.

She was going to answer you, but she could only let out a sigh of relief as you started your work. Just like the rest of the girls, Rina had very tense muscles. You immediately felt empathy for her. Concert after concert doing the same show without proper breaks between them was certainly something that took its toll in the long run, and they had the bad luck that it just happened to coincide with their days of the month.

"What are you planning to do these days?" she asked you softly. She had her eyes closed.

"I have to catch up with Itzy's girls, I feel like an idiot," you sighed, massaging her lower back, "I'm also going out with Jihye for drinks, but I don't know when."

"Jihye?" She giggled, "So she told you her real name huh? You're one step closer to the wedding at this point."

"You're not funny you know?"

"I'm the funniest person you know."

"I don't know that many people, Rina," you moved back to her shoulders.

"That's already an achievement then. You like her right?"

You took more time to answer that question than you'd like.

"No," no matter how confident you sounded, you couldn't help but think you were lying to yourself.

"But you like Ning right?"

"Are you a detective now or what?"

"It's a basic question, are you afraid to answer it?"

"No, but I don't know what this interrogation is about."

"I'm just curious. Come on, tell me."

"I'm one damn step away from being crazy about her. And it's a fine line."

"Aw, that's adorable."

"It's not, I feel like an idiot every time she does something sweet for me or every time she talks to me like… god."

"Buddy, you're crazy about her."

"Please shut up," you said heavily. Rina could only laugh. But you weren't as cool about it as she might think. Chaery was still in your head, and with her were the words you said to her before the tour. At that moment you hated being a man.

"I mean, I don't blame you. She's a princess in every way possible."

"It is, but please let's stop talking about my love life. What do you have planned?" you finally moved to her feet.

"Oh, we have a girls' night planned today. Here, actually."

"Aren't you planning to go sightseeing?"

"I saw that there is a very nice botanical garden, it would be a nice place to go."

"There's also a zoo tho, and an aquarium."

"Right! That would be cool."

"I can go with you if you want, but let me see how the next few days go."

"That sounds like a date to me."

"We can go with one of the girls then, comedian girl."

"I wasn't complaining," she let out a small whimper when you pressed close to her thumb, but it was natural, "Hey, you said you felt like an idiot about Itzy's girls, why?"

"Because I've been neglecting them these days, and it feels bad because I know how much they appreciate me."

"Dude, you've done a wonderful job taking care of us. Besides, I know Yeji unnie well, she knows very well how demanding a tour is. She won't be upset with you."

"I hope so. I would feel terrible if she was," you now moved to the other foot. Another whine from Jimin.

"Well, if she gives you a hard time about that I can take care of her if you want," she said with a joking tone. You chuckled.

"Yeah, I'd appreciate it. By the way, give me details about the girls' night, I'm curious about it."

"Oh, nothing special. We'll just order junk food, watch a few movies, and talk about boys."

"Boys?" you laughed, “What boys, Yoo Jimin, you should lie better.”

"During these days of the month I become a little more girly, you know. And I think it would be rude to say that we are going to be talking about you."

"Wow, that's certainly reassuring."

"It won't be anything bad, don't worry. You've done nothing but be a wonderful guy for us."

"Just let me know if you need anything, okay?" With that said you released her foot to finish the massage.

"Yeah, I will," she answered you with a little smile, finally opening her eyes to see you, "Thank you for the massage, I feel much better."

"I'm glad to hear that, don't thank me. I'll see you later, Rina," you leaned forward, giving her a peck on the forehead and another on the cheek before standing up.

As soon as you left her room you checked your phone, finding that all the girls had already responded to you. It made you happy to see all their personalities captured in each word. You began to walk the corridor slowly while reading the messages from Chaery, who you started chatting with.

When you finished talking to Chaery you were already inside the elevator going to the floor of your room. Then you read the other messages, starting with Lia.

You weren't surprised by the fact that Ryujin responded with a photo as well. She was lying on her side, legs drawn up as she held a wet dildo. A butt plug buried in her ass too. Just then the elevator door opened as it stopped a couple of floors before yours, and an elderly couple entered. You quickly had to lock the screen.

"Good afternoon," you greeted politely, playing dumb, with a smile and a small bow.

"Good afternoon dear," smiled the good-natured granny. Grandpa only gave you a smirk and raised his eyebrows.

You had to wait until you were alone on your corresponding floor before re-entering the chat.

Next was Yuna, who as expected had more energy than all of you and Itzy's girls combined.

When you were going to read Yeji's messages, you were already in front of your room. You opened the door, walked in and lay face up on your bed to answer her.

Finishing talking to all of them and having arranged to have a video call did nothing but fill your heart with joy and relief. You had finally taken a burden off your shoulders, but they were not that burden, but rather the emotional weight you had for not having been as attentive to them as you promised before you left.

Just as you were going to get out of bed to go watch a couple more episodes of Haikyuu before going to eat, you received more messages, but they were from Noze.

Had she really used a heart in a message to you? That was certainly new.

This time you did put the phone down and got out of bed to go change your outfit, which was really fucking difficult considering you had no idea what kind of occasion this was. But in the end, the solution was always to do something in the middle. Not looking like a bum but not like James Bond about to go on a mission either. Your choice this time was a black Columbia sweatshirt, and a black jacket with a beige hood on top; also some gray wide-leg jeans and your Air Force 1 07 LV8 in its champagne color variation.

Once prepared, you grabbed all your things and left your room, locked it and prepared to leave the hotel to look for a restaurant to eat nearby. You could have just asked for a car to drive yourself, but you wanted to walk the streets of a city you had never visited before. In your search you came across a place called Cuts Steakhouse, and the name alone convinced you.

You sat at one of the tables to order the food, and while you waited for it you looked for nearby bars. Looking through Google Maps you found one that was perfect for the occasion, it was quite nice and not too far from your current location, so after finishing your pork ribs with barbecue and your grilled salmon with ponzu, you went straight there.

Upon entering the large establishment you were relieved to see that there were not too many people there, which was normal considering that it was a weekday and that many people must be at home resting from work. Naturally the first thing you did was go sit at the bar, which formed a wide rectangle around a main island where the shelves, all the bottles and the televisions were.

One of the bartenders offered to serve you, and while you waited for Noze's message you just ordered a beer. The aforementioned message arrived when you were already a little more than halfway through the beer. You immediately gave her her address, and were impressed by the speed at which she arrived. You remembered what she had ordered the last time you had drinks together, so there was her Rusty Nail next to your half-finished beer.

"Hiii theeeere!" She greeted with a smile as she walked towards you. Once again, she impressed you with her beauty.

Black and white knitted sweater, short black skirt and high leather boots. She also sported pretty, freshly cut bangs, and simple makeup whose main attraction was scarlet lips. You were screwed. It was like she had read your mind when you had that little moment on the bus.

"Hello beautiful," you smiled as she sat down next to you, "You look amazing."

"Do you like it?" She asked with a small twinkle in her eye as she looked at her outfit and then she looked at you.

"Oh yeah, that sweater is beautiful. And damn, so are you, why lie."

"You look really cute too, why lie," she examined you up and down with a sly smile and then looked at the drink you had ordered, "Oh my god! I can't believe you remembered!"

"You never forget the initial shock of seeing a girl order Scotch whiskey," you replied as she took a swig of her drink. You also drank your beer.

"You say that like I'm a savage," she laughed.

"Honey, you look like extremely expensive wine."

"Is that a compliment?" she raised her eyebrows, taking another sip of the drink.

"It is if you want it to be," you shrugged and finally finished your beer, "Yo, brother! Pour me a Black Orchid, please."

"Wow, how enigmatic. Now you're the riddle?"

"No, but it would be fun to make you look for a Rata Alada so you can get into your room today."

You rarely made her truly laugh, and this was one of those times. You smiled as you looked at her.

"You know, I didn't expect you to have that drink with me today," the bartender returned with your drink. You thanked him with a nod and a smile.

"Why not?" she took a sip.

"I don't know, I thought you'd be at girls' night," you tried your drink and wrinkled your forehead a little at the taste, but it was delicious.

"Oh, yes I was invited," she finally set the glass down on the bar and leaned her elbow on it, "But I think there are certain boundaries that need to be respected, you know? A certain level of... uhm, separation, yeah."

"Those boundaries are definitely like the chains in an NFL game, right?" you teased, taking another sip of your drink, "Considering what happened with Rina and Minjeongie a couple days ago."

"That's just sex, it's of no consequence," she looked away with a nonchalant wave of her hand, "Now, a girls' night is much more intimate. You wouldn't understand, you have a cock."

"Nah, I think I understand you. And I have a cock," you pointed out.

Just like her, you left your glass on the bar and crossed your arms on top of it. Then, you lifted your butt only to move your stool closer to hers. She looked out of the corner of her eye as you were now practically leg to leg with her, you noticed a hint of a smile.

"And what about me? You don't mind being intimate with me, do you?" You raised an eyebrow as you looked at her.

"I bursted into tears like a little girl in your arms, what do you think that means?" She turned to look at you, and with her gaze still on your eyes she took a sip of the drink.

"That you had a mental breakdown?" She once again burst out laughing, you smiled.

"Yes, that could be too," she nodded, placing the glass back on the bar and looking at you again, "But I'm glad you were there... I felt safe."

You held her gaze for a few long seconds, long enough to leave you in a small trance. Once again those damn pretty lips. You looked at them again and again. And you could have sworn that she saw your lips too, but that must have been a figment of your imagination. Jihye finally blinked faster and came back to reality.

"Well, do you have any idea why I wanted to have drinks with you?" She changed the subject quickly.

"Uh... I honestly have no idea," you took another sip of your drink and looked towards one of the televisions, praying that the blush on your cheeks wouldn't show.

"Look."

She took out her phone and went into her contacts, scrolled for a few seconds and finally showed you the screen. 'Bae Johyun' you read. Then you noticed that the phone number was blurred and then you noticed that it was blocked.

"I finally blocked her. I want to move on with my life," she put the phone away again. You opened your mouth in surprise.

"Oh my god finally!" you cheered with a big smile on your face, "Damn, I'm so proud of you! Come on, let's make a toast to that."

"Cheers!" she said, smiling. You both raised your glasses, clinked them, and took longer sips than usual.

"Does that mean you accept my offer?"

"The one about looking for a hook up during the tour? Yeah, but not right now, that will have to wait a few days."

"It doesn't matter, the important thing is that you took a giant step."

Then you did something that, thinking about it very carefully, you didn't know why the hell you had done it. It was almost like a natural instinct, something you did without thinking about what possible consequences it could have. You leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

Noze froze for a few seconds, but at that moment, thinking that you had done something perfectly normal, you didn't understand why. Then you saw how her cheeks acquired a light red blush. She giggled nervously and brought her hands to her cheeks to cover them.

"Something happens?" You tilted your head.

"Oh? No, no," she giggled, then quickly grabbed her glass from the bar and finished the rest of the drink in one gulp, "Uhm..." she wrinkled her brow, it had been too much.

"I guess you shouldn't have done that," you laughed, sipping patiently from your glass.

"No, definitely not," she blew air into her face with her hands and looked at the bartender, "Give me another one, please," she turned her gaze to you, "Uh… what are you planning to do during these next few?" days?"

"The main thing is to catch up with the Itzy girls, that's for sure. But I also want to go shopping, you know, for me and for them."

"Oh, in that case I have something for you."

She took her handbag and took out a small red Chanel wallet. From this she took out a credit card which she handed to you.

"Here. Use it and make sure you get them something nice. It's meant for tourist expenses, so there's practically no limit."

You took the card and examined it for a few seconds. Then you looked at her.

"Woman, how many unlimited monetary funds do you have access to?" you joked with an incredulous laugh. You put the card in your jacket pocket.

"Why? Are you only interested in my money?" She teased, then took a sip of her new drink.

"Well, you have enough mommy potential, why lie."

You made her laugh out loud again, and you smiled like an idiot again. You were starting to feel like this would become a non-sexual pleasure for you.

"Don't say that too loudly, I might get a mother complex and over spoil you."

You couldn't help but think about Lia and laugh about it.

"Then I won't do it. You have enough to take care of four unruly girls."

"Four unruly and horny girls, don't forget that detail."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

You and Jihye drank those couple of drinks and two more rounds. The only thing you did during all that time was have a pleasant conversation full of jokes and topics of recent interest to discuss. Just like you were with Rina, you felt very comfortable around her, just being a couple of good friends who constantly messed with each other. However, there was something else with her, you couldn't identify what, and you didn't want to think about the worst either, but she had an aura that was too stupidly attractive for you. Every thing she did, every expression, every word and every body movement caught your attention and left you captivated.

"Oh shit, it's getting late," you said as you looked at the time on your phone, "Honey, I need to go to the hotel to check on the girls before my video call with ITZY."

"That's fine, baby, let's go. It's also my bedtime."

At that moment you also didn't realize that you were saying 'honey' and 'baby' to each other. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, or maybe it was just the naturalness with which you had been carrying everything for a couple of hours.

"Get away from there, I'll pay for everything, silly."

You obediently put away your phone and took a small step back. She got into that space you left so she could pay. Now her back was almost touching your torso, and you could smell the scent of her hair. It made too much sense to you that it smelled like blackberries. Then you did something else that you didn't think about at all, and that you did out of pure instinct. You placed your hands on her small waist. She didn't seem to care.

"Aight, let's go," she stepped aside and linked her arm with yours, "Thank you, very kind!" she told the bartender, who said goodbye with a wave of his hand.

When you walked outside you realized why Jihye had arrived at the bar so stupidly quickly. Parked waiting for you was a black sedan with tinted windows. The passenger window was down, Jihye crouched down a little to confirm that this was the driver and made you get in.

"Damn, how long has he been waiting here?" you said, climbing into the back seats with her.

"Since I arrived," she laughed, "I paid him for it, don't worry."

When you settled into the car it started heading towards the hotel. During the entire way Jihye never let go of your arm, even though she had all the space in the world to move in the seats. Only there, with your slow man's mind, did you realize that something was happening.

When you arrived you got off and she thanked the driver. Then you entered the lobby and went up to the first floor to take the elevator, which first stopped on Rina's room floor. When the doors opened, you took a step forward and turned to look into her eyes.

"Thanks for this, big guy," she told you with a little smile, "It was a fun night."

She also took a step forward, wrapped her arms around your neck and hugged you tightly. You wrapped your arms around her small body and reciprocated the hug.

"No problem, boss. It was fun for me too," you murmured in her ear, and then separated from her, "Rest well."

"You too, and good luck with the girls," she winked at you.

You turned to walk down the hallway, but she caught your attention again.

"Hey, just don't get too relaxed just because you're close to the boss," she warned, making an I'm-watching-you sign. Before you could respond, the elevator doors closed.

You finally turned around and walked down the hallway until you reached the door to Jimin's room. When you opened you found the lights off and all of them dressed in baggy and comfortable clothes. Everything seemed perfectly in order, they were all sitting on the bed, eating snacks, drinking Coca-Cola and watching TV.

"Hey, do you need anything? Maybe something else to eat or...?"

"What we need is for you to stop interrupting our girls' night out!" Minjeong said. You weren't surprised at that response.

"Aight, fair enough."

You approached each of them to say goodnight and kissed each one's cheeks except Ning's. You grabbed her by the chin, made her look at you and gave her a kiss on her lips. She smiled at you, you smiled back, and then turned to leave the room.

You took the elevator back and went to your floor. When you got to the door of your room and looked for your door card in your jacket pockets you couldn't find it. You didn't give it much importance, you just went to the reception, asked for a replacement and came back. While inside, you took all the things out of your jacket pockets and took it off. You also took off your shoes and pants, leaving you only in a sweatshirt, socks, and boxers.

You just laid down on your bed and waited. Yeji's video call arrived after about fifteen minutes. When you answered you were a little shocked, but frankly it didn't surprise you at all. On the other side of the screen they were all completely naked, all in different seductive poses on top of the extended sofa bed. The order from left to right was Ryujin, Yuna, Chaery, Lia and Yeji.

"Wow, what a nice surprise, right?" You said with a sly smile, looking carefully at each one of them and their perfect bodies.

"You like what you see huh?" said Ryujin, who was lying on her side just like in the photo she sent you. She put a hand on her ass and squeezed it.

"Daddy sure loves what she sees, don't ask stupid questions," Yuna said to Ryujin's side, then she put her hands on her tits and squeezed them. You were still impressed by how big she was.

"I'm going to spank your asses if you start arguing," you told them both.

"Yes please!" they both said in unison. You couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, you'll notice that we wanted to pull out all our tricks to remind you of what awaits you when you get home," Yeji said, playing with her own tits.

"Oh, believe me. I can't wait to go back and sink my fingers into those pussies again."

"How, like this?" Lia asked, spreading her legs wide open and taking a finger inside her pussy.

"Or maybe like this?" Yeji asked, bringing two fingers inside hers. They both let out a small moan.

"We thought it would be best to give you a show so you wouldn't have to imagine us too much while you're gone," Chaery said with an evil little smile. You were just surprised to hear her speak so confidently.

As soon as she finished that sentence, Ryujin crawled over Yuna and got on all fours between Chaery's legs, making sure the camera caught her ass with a butt plug buried in it. You looked at Chaery's face, and from the change in her expression you knew that Ryujin had started eating her out.

Being the restless girl that she was, Yuna moved to the other side of the sofa to get down and kneel in front of Yeji. She grabbed one of her feet and started kissing them. With Yuna worshiping her feet, Yeji removed her fingers from her pussy and reached between Lia's legs. Lia also took her finger out of her pussy, and as if it were a scripted act between them, they began to finger each other. The moans began to be present through the speakers of your phone.

At that point you could no longer resist the urge to touch yourself, so you took off your boxers and threw them on the floor. You brought one hand to your cock and started to stroke it slowly.

“You girls are so fucking sexy, fuck…” you gasped.

"You love this, don't you?" Yeji asked in a seductive tone looking directly into the camera as she pumped her fingers in and out of Lia's pussy.

Chaery was caressing Ryujin's hair, who was eating her out slowly but enough to make her moan again and again. Yuna stopped worshiping Yeji's feet and moved towards Lia, who began to kiss her thighs.

"I do love it, god. I can't wait to be there with you and hammer those pussies with all my might."

"Mmmgh!" Lia moaned louder, fucking Yeji's pussy with her fingers, "And fill our pussies with that hot load?"

"Fuck yeah baby," you started jerking off faster, making your moans audible so they knew what you were doing.

Yuna stopped kissing Lia's thighs and moved towards Ryujin, climbed onto the sofa again and removed the butt plug from her ass.

"Do you want to see a magic trick daddy?" Yuna asked, shaking the buttplug at the camera from side to side. She then turned her back to the camera, bent forward and buried the same butt plug that she had removed from Ryujin into her butthole. Then, she started eating Ryujin's ass fiercely.

You could barely hear Ryujin's moans muffled against Chaery's pussy, who judging by her red face and raised eyebrows you knew she was being eaten with much more enthusiasm and hunger. That led to her being the first to erupt in a chain of loud orgasms and spasms.

Lia matched Ryujin's position but in front of Yeji, who began to eat her pussy. Yeji tangled the strands of Lia's blonde hair between her fingers, and began to moan louder, looking directly into the camera with her predatory feline eyes. She wrapped her pale thighs around Lia's head, and raised her hips to grind her pussy against the blonde's mouth, throwing her head back and letting herself be carried away by the pleasure.

Ryujin's moans were heard more clearly since she had stopped eating Chaery's pussy, but she was still being eaten out by Yuna, who had both hands gripping her perfect buttocks while she shook her head madly against her ass and apparently her pussy too. Chaery moved away from the edge of the sofa, giving the three of them enough room to maneuver.

Yeji was the next to cum, making Lia eat her pussy and collect all her fluids. When her orgasm had passed, Lia stood up and pushed Yeji back against the couch, then straddled her, and crawled until her ass was on top of her face. She lowered her hips, burying Yeji's face between her fleshy buttocks. Yeji started eating her pussy while she squeezed her ass.

You were about to give them instructions, especially Chaery, Yuna and Ryujin, who were now sharing a torrid triple kiss. But your heart almost jumped out of shock when you heard the door to your room open. You immediately covered yourself with a pillow, but that fear soon disappeared when you noticed that the person who was entering was Ning.

You thanked God that none of the girls were looking at the camera and that they hadn't noticed your reaction. You quickly muted yourself.

"Honey, what are you doing?" you asked as she closed the door behind her.

"Don't worry about me..." she said while looking at your cock, also listening to what was happening on the other side of the screen.

She took off her cotton jacket and threw it next to your boxers. Then she also took off the pink tank top she was wearing and her bra. You looked at her beautiful free tits and bit your lip. You understood why she hadn't taken off her clothes from the waist down, you didn't comment on it.

You unmuted yourself, and turned your gaze to the screen to start giving orders to the ITZY girls.

"Chaery, eat Yuna's tits while Ryujin eats her pussy. Ryujin, you use your left hand to touch yourself and the other to finger Chaery."

The girls obeyed you, Yuna lay down with her legs spread and pressed against her torso; Chaery lay down on one side of her to bring one of her tits into her mouth, and Ryujin got on her hands and knees in front of Yuna's pussy, running one hand under her own body to rub her clit and extending her other arm to put her fingers inside Chaery's pussy. You continued to jerk your cock, alternating your gaze between the screen and Ning's eyes as she watched you touch yourself.

"Yeji, when you make Lia cum, go with Chaery and eat her ass real good. Lia, just make out with Yuna so you can rest."

While you were giving that order Ning had climbed onto the bed with you and knelt between your legs just to stare at you. When you finished giving the order and they started to move, she took your hand off your cock and replaced it with hers. You let out a louder moan as she matched your previous pace.

"Daddy, I can get my toys so we can all play, can I have permission?" Ryujin asked you, looking over her shoulder at you. You noticed that her jaw and her mouth were stained with saliva.

"Of course baby, but hurry up. Oh fuck..." you gasped. Ning had spit on her hand and now she was giving you a slippery handjob behind your phone. You were too careful not to accidentally press the flip camera button.

Ryujin disappeared from the plane and soon returned with her characteristic bag of toys. They all remained faithful to your orders until Yuna exploded with her first orgasm, that's when they all started taking toys out of the bag. Ryujin grabbed a bullet vibrator and a huge black silicone dildo; Yuna grabbed the pink dildo that she always chose and some black anal beads shaped like little balls; Yeji grabbed a clitoral stimulator and dildo that was small compared to the ones Ryujin and Yuna had chosen; Lia also picked up some anal beads, but these were cone-shaped; Chaery only picked up a microphone-shaped vibrator.

With the toys already chosen, the dirtiest of debaucheries began. Ryujin helped Yuna lubricate her anal beads and take them inside her ass while she was on her hands and knees. Yuna moaned loudly as each ball entered her tight butthole, until only the small ring by which the toy was held was outside of her. With her beads inside her ass, Yuna grabbed her dildo and slowly buried it inside her pussy to start fucking herself. Chaery took advantage of Yuna's mouth being free to sit in front of her and spread her legs so she could eat her pussy while she pressed the vibrator against her own clit.

Ryujin lay down next to Yuna and poured lube on her dildo to press it against her butthole. In a matter of seconds the dildo was halfway inside. She began using one of her hands to pump it over and over, and with the other she pulled on Yuna's anal beads, pulling them all out in a single pull that made Yuna squeal with pleasure. The process was constantly repeated, as Chaery caressed Yuna's hair and brought her vibrator to maximum speed.

When Yeji moved to the other side of the couch you realized that the clitoral stimulator was not for her, but for Ryujin. She turned it on, and the toy's little tongue began to move at full speed. Yeji brought it closer to Ryujin's pussy, and as soon as she pressed against her clitoris she began to writhe with pleasure. Then, Yeji took her small dildo and inserted it inside her pussy to start fucking herself at full speed with it.

Lia, on the other hand, had also lubricated her anal beads; but for this she asked Chaery for help. Lia stood on her hands and knees with her ass facing her, and Chaery grabbed her anal beads to bury them deep in Lia's trained ass.

Now the moans of the five girls were blasting through your speakers at full volume, in a catastrophic cacophony of pleasure and lust. You couldn't do anything but moan with them, not only looking at the screen and what they were doing, but also at Ning's eyes right above your phone as she gave you an incredible handjob.

All the girls came a few more times, Ryujin had even let out an intense stream of squirt that wet Yeji's entire naked body and the couch beneath them.

"Dear, are you close? We're starting to get exhausted," Yeji told you, turning to the camera. She was breathing hard and was covered in sweat.

Hearing that question, Ning hid behind your phone and took your entire cock into her mouth in one smooth motion. You rolled your eyes and let out a longer moan.

"Oh fuck yeah... I'm close," you stated between heavy pants. You moved your phone a little to the left so you could watch Ning suck you off.

Ning bobbed her head up and down again and again, covering your entire shaft with a thin layer of saliva and precum. Her hand was gripping the base of your cock, which she soon began using to also jerk you off while giving you one of the best blowjobs you had received since you were on tour with them.

"Perfect, because we still have one final act for you."

They all moved around the sofa and picked up Chaery to position her right in the center of it. Ryujin sat in the far corner to see everything, you noticed that she was the most exhausted. But the rest of the girls did jump into action. Lia lay down next to Chaery and started sucking, licking and kissing her tits. Yeji positioned herself between her legs, and took to alternating between feasting on her pussy and her butthole. Yuna finally sat on Chaery's face facing the camera and leaned forward to start rubbing her clit.

At that moment Ning took you out of her mouth and sat a few centimeters further away from your cock, taking advantage of how slippery your cock was to make a meat sandwich with her feet around it. She began to move her feet up and down, slow at first and picking up speed as the seconds passed. Soon you were also receiving an impeccable footjob.

From the way Chaery was writhing in the middle of all those bodies you could tell that she was approaching what was possibly the strongest orgasm she had ever had in her life. Ning felt you throbbing between her feet and leaned forward once again to now suck on your tip while jerking you off.

It didn't take long for all the inputs of pleasure that Chaery was receiving to bring her to her peak. She finally came, but you were surprised to see how she drenched Yuna's hand and Yeji's entire face with a powerful squirt. Seeing this made you and Yuna explode as well.

You grabbed Ning's head with your free hand and pushed it down until her nose was pressed against your pelvis. You shot spurt after spurt of hot cum into her throat, letting out loud moans that Yuna on the other side of the screen matched as she ground her hips against Chaery's face. You could hear Ning's gagging sounds as she took your entire load down her throat, and you just hoped the girls wouldn't do it.

Even though she was choking on your cock, Ning did her best to tighten her lips around your shaft so as not to let any drops spill out. When your orgasm was over, she pulled you out of her mouth and stuck out her tongue to show you that all your cum had gone down her throat and was gone.

"Well, I guess the real catching up will have to wait until one of the next few days," Yeji mentioned with a giggle, getting closer to the camera, "Fuck, these two bitches really squirted on me like they were in cahoots."

"Fuck..." you were breathing heavily, still recovering from that experience, "Yeah, sure baby," you nodded at Yeji.

"I have to hang up right now, we have to clean up this mess. I'll call you later, okay?"

"I'll be waiting, honey. I love you all, bye," you waved at the camera and blew them a kiss.

"Bye bye!" Yeji said, and as soon as she hung up you threw your phone aside.

"Ning Yizhuo..." you sighed, leaning up on your elbow to bring your hand to her face and caress it.

"I did a good job?" she asked with a shy tone of voice.

"You did amazing," you nodded with a smile, "Come here."

You put a hand on Ning's waist and pulled her up, she simply fell on top of you. Her naked tits pressed against you and her face below yours. You wrapped your arms around her and snuggled her against you as she placed her legs on either side of your hips.

"May I know how the hell you got in here?" you asked, stroking her hair.

"Well... Jimin-unnie has been giving us details of the days you spent together in Miami. I knew that I hadn't given you as much of myself or done as many things with you as she had, and since I didn't want you to forget about me, when you went to check on us and kissed me I took the card from your jacket pocket."

"How did you know it was there?"

"It stuck out of the pocket, darling."

You couldn't help but laugh in disbelief.

"Baby, I had to go to the lobby to get another card, you know?"

"I'm sorryyyy!" she said adorably, raising her head to look at you with a pout.

"You more than made up for it, believe me. So don't worry," you gave her a peck on the lips, "But honey, you don't have to compare yourself to any of the other members. I value each of you individually. Besides, I am the one who is here to help you and meet your needs. Not the other way around."

"I know, I know," she nodded as if she were being scolded, "But I couldn't help but feel like I want to be a lot more adventurous and try more things with you. Hearing how you reacted to Unnie's feet made me determined to want to try that, as well as giving you my other hole for the end of the tour... but I'm not ready for that yet."

"Dear, I am more than happy to help you explore new things, but only if they are things that you really want. I don't want you to feel pressured by the fact that the other members do things that you don't, that's not the important thing. "

Ning stared at you for a few long seconds and then cupped your face in her hands to kiss you again. This time it was a long, slow kiss, devoid of lust but full of love and affection.

"Thank you for always saying the right things and meaning them..." she murmured against your lips as she broke away from the kiss, "You're wonderful," she gave you a couple more short kisses, which you were happy to reciprocate.

"You really are wonderful, Ning Yizhuo, "Now lie down with me, let's spoon and take some sleep, will you?"

"Actually... I have to go back to Jiminie's room, honey, I'm sorry," she wailed with a sad look, "I don't want to raise suspicion when they wake up. They dropped dead before I left."

"Oh... sure," you nodded, even sadder than her, "It's okay, darling, no problem."

She got out of bed and began to put on the top garments that she had taken off.

"You should take me with you to ITZY's house sometime, it would be fun. I heard they have amazing pool parties."

"Well..." you went blank for a second, remembering the last day you spent there, "Yeah, I can certify that."

She approached you again, already dressed, and leaned in to give you one last kiss.

"Good night, sweetheart. Have sweet dreams," she told you, caressing your chin.

"Good night, cutie. You too," you responded as she walked towards the door, then left through it.

Left alone in your room you got up to put your boxers back on, turn off the light and go back to bed. You curled up under the covers, disappointed and a little sad that you didn't get to sleep with Ning that night. Before you could close your eyes you thought about many things. You thought about the drinks you had shared with Noze, and only then did you realize all the things you had done and that she had done. You had kissed her forehead, you had held her waist while she paid, and you had called her honey—her calling you baby and holding on to your arm the entire trip back, by the way.

You also thought about your conversations with ITZY, especially Chaery. She had adhered to the request you made of her, she took care of everything that was yours there as if it were hers. And the simple fact of imagining her sleeping in your bed just because she missed you and wanted to be close to you somehow shrank your heart to the size of a marble. You missed her, a lot.

Lastly you thought of Ning. She was full of things that reminded you of Chaery, but she in turn shone with a very special and unique aura. She was willing to do anything to please you and see you happy, and she was very expressive about her feelings for you, with physical contact being her main love language for you. Your heart was being invaded from several hills, and she was leading the way with an imminent invader also hot on her heels: Noh Jihye.

With all those thoughts swirling around your head, especially the image of three girls, you closed your eyes and tried to relax to sleep.

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#ningning smut #itzy smut #aespa smut #yeji smut #ryujin smut #chaeryeong smut #yuna smut #lia smut #x male reader #male reader smut #x male reader smut

[janaispunk]

sun is going down

chapter 1 • series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: An injured Joel and Ellie stumble into your home in the middle of the night. Against your better judgement, you decide to help them.

word count: ~2.2k

tags/warnings: post outbreak, slow burn, found family, age gap (sorry not sorry), able-bodied reader, angst, reader has a sad sad backstory and ptsd, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, vague description of an injury, blood, guns, i think that’s it?

a/n: i’m ridiculously nervous about sharing this story, it has been on my mind for over a year and i’ve been too intimidated to start working on it for the longest time. i really hope that someone likes it haha

follow @janaispunknotifs for fic updates and find my full masterlist here :)

dividers as always by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

The alarm goes off in the middle of the night. You shoot up, your body on high alert, your heart beating rapidly, before your mind is even fully awake.

Probably just a false one, you try telling yourself as you make your way to the office. You’ve never had a false alarm, but– one can hope, right?

The place is plunged into darkness, no windows for any moonlight to seep through. You turn on the camera feed, squinting at the grainy screen. There’s movement in the living room, two people, from what you can make out. Not infected, judging from the way they’re moving, but one of them seems to be injured. Please don’t be raiders. There isn’t much to loot in the house, but the anxiety is already settling in your chest, threatening to crawl up your throat.

You turn on the sound and a panicked girl’s voice rings through the room as if you were standing right next to her.

“Fuck, Joel, wake up. Joel, please–”

It’s eerily similar to words that you’ve said once, the memory still fresh, even now. You wonder if your voice was as thick with tears then as that girl’s is right now.

Not again. Not in this house, not while you’re watching, unable to do anything. Not again.

You still hear it, the echo in your mind clear as ever. Keep them safe. Promise me. The promise you failed to keep.

Unblinking, you stare at the screen, your mind running a mile a minute. This could be a trap. They could have been watching, could have somehow figured you out. Or, the tiny voice in the back of your head insists, or they really need help.

The girl is pleading for the man to hold on, to not fall asleep. The desperation in her tone is tearing at you, urging you into action. Fuck it, you have to do something.

You grab your gun from the wall and slowly make your way up the stairs, ignoring the anxious trembling in your hands. Maybe this is how you die.

Leaning your back against the wall, you take a deep breath, a fruitless attempt to calm yourself, and switch on the lamp outside. You can’t hear them anymore, but knowing that the living room is now bathed in light, you’re certain that they’re on high alert now. Shit shit shit. You steel yourself, undo the complicated lock and push the heavy door open.

Please don’t let it be a trap.

They’re both staring at you, a young girl standing in front of a man, lying on the ground, taking panting breaths. She’s pointing a gun straight at you, as if she’s trying to shield his larger body with hers. The weapon looks much too big in her hands.

The memory of a similar image tugs at the back of your mind, but you shove it away. Stay in the present, stay right here.

You clear your throat, raising your hands slightly. You don’t remember the last time you spoke to another living person. Your voice cracks.

“I– I don’t mean you any harm. I live here, I saw you on– on the cameras.”

The girl furrows her brow, her eyes flitting across the room.

“They’re hidden, you won’t– Listen, I just want to help, I promise.”

The sound of your voice wavers, almost unfamiliar to your own ears. The girl lowers her gun a fraction, but the distrust is written all over her face. You can’t blame her. You clear your throat again, willing your hands to stop shaking.

“Your dad, is he– has he been bitten?” Please say no, please say no, please say no.

She shakes her head quickly. An expression that you can’t place flies over her features. Thank god.

“He’s not my– no. He got– he got stabbed.”

You can tell that she tries to sound strong, brave, but you recognize the panic in her eyes. You see it often enough when you look into the mirror.

You take another steadying breath. You can do this.

“Okay. I can help with that, if– if you want. I have medicine, bandages…”

Hope flashes over her face, mixed with the obvious conflict of not trusting you.

“You can come downstairs, it’s safer there. I– I should turn the lights back off.”

You’re painfully aware of how bright the house must shine through the darkness, from how far away it’s probably visible right now. Your nerves are fluttering anxiously.

“I don’t mean to hurt you, I swear. Just– let me help you.”

She swallows, hard, and fixes you with a stare.

“It’s just you down there?”

You nod in silent confirmation, not trusting your voice on this. It’s the first time you’ve ever had to admit it to anyone but yourself.

The girl sighs, her head turning between you and the man behind her a few times, surely seeking guidance from him, but his eyes are halfway shut, his lips trembling. Your gaze falls on the dark red stain on his shirt.

Don’t look, don’t think- Just focus on this, right now, right here.

You tell her your name, promise again that it’s safe. Finally, she nods timidly.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” You nod back at her, give her a small smile that she doesn’t return. “I’ll come closer now, we’ll carry him, alright?”

The girl looks at the man again. Her body tenses when you near them, but together you manage to get him back on his feet and half walk, half carry him. You push the door open wider and heave him down the stairs.

In the back of your mind, you take note of the sound of multiple feet walking down the steps, and how long it’s been since… No. Stay in the present.

You prop him up on the couch, where the girl keeps hovering by his side while you rush up again to close and lock the door and turn off the lights. Next, you throw open the bathroom cabinet, gathering all the material that you might need.

You return and crouch down beside him, lying your things out on the table, and take a closer look, your fingers halting over him. He’s watching you through lidded eyes, a sheen of sweat on his pale face.

“What’s his name?” you ask, looking up at the girl.

“Joel,” she answers reluctantly. “I’m Ellie.”

“Hi, Ellie.” You hope your smile looks sincere, not betraying how nervous you are right now. How shaky the sight of his blood-soaked shirt makes you feel.

“Okay, Joel?” you address him directly. He only manages a tired hum in return. “I’m gonna clean this and try stitching you up. It’s gonna hurt, I have painkillers, if you–”

But he shakes his head, humming again.

“Alright,” you sigh, and get to work.

You explain what you’re doing with every step, to calm both their and your own nerves. You know how to do this, you’ve trained for this. The wound doesn’t look too deep and you pray that there’s no organ damage involved, because you don’t have the means to treat that properly, but it doesn’t look like it. There seems to be an infection spreading though, so you gather some antibiotics as well, hoping that they’ll still work the way they’re supposed to. Joel inhales sharply a few times, but seems to be out of it for most of the time, which you’re grateful for.

“How did this happen?” you ask, looking up at Ellie who’s still standing beside you, watching intently over what you’re doing.

“Raiders,” she mutters. “It was a broken baseball bat, I think.”

“Jesus,” you sigh. You wonder how they got out, your thoughts circling back to the gun in her hands, and you suppress a shudder. “Are you injured too?” you ask, deciding not to press her about the attack.

“No,” comes her quiet answer. You don’t catch the way she averts her eyes.

“Alright,” mumble eventually and straighten up. You’ve cleaned and bandaged the wound to the best of your ability and now you just have to hope that it will be enough.

“Do you want something to eat?” you ask the girl, who has taken to sit beside the couch on the ground, now that you’ve moved away from it. Her face lights up at the question and she nods eagerly.

You get two bowls of the soup that you’ve had for dinner for the both of you and she has already had a few spoonfuls before she eyes you warily.

“It’s not poisoned or something, is it?”

You huff a laugh and keep eating yours, holding her gaze with raised eyebrows. “Does it look like it?”

“Um, no…” she trails off, swallowing another spoonful and sighing at the taste. You wonder how long it’s been since they ate something. “You could have poisoned only mine though.”

“Well I didn’t,” you grin. It feels foreign, talking to another person, another child, but a warmth is slowly spreading through you that has nothing to do with the soup.

She wakes Joel and gets him to swallow a little soup as well as some water before he collapses back on the couch, his eyes closed and his breath evening out.

“Why do you… have all this?” she asks eventually, setting her bowl down on the table and looking around the room, the wood-covered walls and the multiple doors.

“My dad built it,” you reply, forcing your voice to stay neutral. “B–before.”

She hums in acknowledgement, her eyes still full of wonder.

“You’re welcome to stay,” you hear yourself say, “until he gets better, I mean.”

You don’t know if you’re being reckless, if this will be the thing that finally gets you killed, but it seems too elaborate to be a trap. And maybe, just maybe you like the idea of not being alone down here, even just for a short while, a little too much. She thanks you, her expression just as weary as you feel.

You offer that she can wash up if she wants, use the shower, that you could give her some clothes of yours. You’re still not sure if you’re doing the right thing, or if you’re just being incredibly stupid, but the sight of her worn down shirt and the way her hair is matted down with dirt makes your heart swell with the wish to care for her.

Her eyes flicker nervously between Joel and the bathroom door a few times, but eventually she agrees. While the shower runs, you settle down on the armchair across from the couch, sinking into the cushions, your knees pulled up to your chin, your eyes resting on the sleeping man. He’s huge, taking up the whole length of it, his feet dangling over the armrest, overwhelming even in his unconscious state.

You really hope that they’re good people. He could overpower you easily, there’s no doubt of that. You might not be a terrible fighter, but you don’t think that you’d be a match for him.

Your gaze lingers on his face, the strong shape of his nose, the pout of his lower lip, his brow furrowed even in his sleep. His fingers are twitching, one wrist adorned with a broken watch.

Ellie exits the bathroom again, clad in your old clothes, her damp hair dripping into the neckline of the t-shirt, like a younger version of you. It makes your heart ache.

Now that the adrenaline is rushing from your body, you realize how weird all this really is. You haven’t spoken to anybody in years and now there’s two people here, in your space. Maybe you’ve finally lost it for good.

You show her to the biggest of the four bedrooms, the only one that no one has ever slept in. It’s easier, opening this door, than the two other ones that you keep shut. You debate moving Joel from the couch to the bed, Ellie mumbling about his back, but ultimately you decide against it.

“Okay,” you hesitate, leaning against the doorframe. “I’m in the room right next to you, if you need anything… Just– please don’t murder me in my sleep, okay?”

She mirrors your wry smile. “I won’t if you won’t.”

You nod and leave the room, praying that you’re making the right call here. You’re doing something good, right? And no one would plan an ambush like this. Would they?

You heave a sigh and retreat to your own bedroom, your gun clutched tightly in your grasp. You doubt that it would save you, not against that man who’s currently softly snoring on your couch. Still, it makes you feel a little better. You turn the lock on your door too, just in case.

When you sink back under the covers, eyes still wide open and staring into the darkness, a small smile creeps onto your lips despite your worries.

It’s not the way it was, it will never be that way again. But not being the only soul down here fills you with the ghost of a warmth that you had thought you’d never feel again.

thank you for reading 🤍 if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending an ask, it truly makes my day every single time!

#janas fics #fic: safe and sound #joel miller #ellie williams #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedrostories

[cosmicmunsonwrites]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a smut fic of JJ Maybank where the raider is his girlfriend and a virgin and they have sex for the first time and he says “if you want me to stop tell me.” “You better tell me know cause once I start I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”

like an animal

pairing(s): jj maybank x virgin!afab!reader

warnings: loss of virginity, smut, pet names, unprotected sex, oral, fingering, praise

summary: you decide to go all the way with jj.

authors note: i freaking love this idea!! thank you for the request and i hope you enjoy!

not edited

do not copy my works. i do not condone rewrites, translations, or edited versions. all my content is my content that i wrote.

not my gif

your hands tangled in your boyfriends thick, blonde hair as he buried his face between your legs. your thighs began to shake and you attempted to close them, but his ringed hand kept a tight grip to keep them open.

“jj,” you moaned. “feels so good.”

you could feel him grin against you. “yeah?” humming in approval, you tensed slightly when you felt his finger prod at your entrance. “this okay sweet girl?” not able to form any words, you simply nodded, hoping he could see it. “tell me if it hurts. even a little bit.”

you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and squeezed your eyes shut. the feeling of his hot mouth sucking your clit and his finger slowly pushing into you was making you dizzy.

“you still with me baby?” he asked softly.

“mhm,” you hummed. you felt him push even further, feeling a slight resistance before it disappeared. you let out a shaky breath when his tongue was back to tending to your clit and his finger was buried inside you. “oh fuck j. ‘s so good,” you moaned.

his tongue worked faster, his finger beginning to pull back slightly before pushing right back in just as slow. “shit, sweetheart. already squeezing my finger like this, bet your pussys gonna feel like heavy around my cock.”

you felt a shiver run down your spine as your core tightened. “more. please,” you whined out, hands still toying with his hair.

“look at you baby,” he smiled proudly as he gently pushed another one in. “taking my fingers like such a good girl.”

your jaw fell slack as the pleasure doubled. his mouth was no longer on you, but his thumb was still rubbing circles over your clit. “jj, fuck,” you stammered. “it feels so good. can—can’t take it.”

“‘s okay, sweetheart,” he said soothingly, placing loving kisses over your shaking inner thighs and just above your core. “you can do it. almost there. jus’ relax.”

you tried your best to take deep breaths and allow your orgasm to wash over you, but the pleasure was hitting you like a bus. your hands tugged on his hair even harder as he worked you through it, slowly withdrawing his fingers and pressing a gentle kiss to your sensitive clit.

“did so good baby,” he praised, crawling up your body to press his lips to yours. you could taste yourself on him as his tongue searched your mouth. “‘m so proud of you.”

he laid another kiss to your lips, then your forehead before he began littering them down your neck and to your chest. his tongues lapped over your nipple before taking it into his mouth, his hands coming up to hold the soft flesh in his hands and gently knead them between his ringed fingers. the cold metal felt good against your burning skin.

you pressed your thighs together at the feeling. “jj, i want more.”

he chuckled against your skin before lifting his head to see you. “baby, what more do you want?” he asked in a playful tone. “i jus’ fingered you and popped your cherry while eating you out.”

you slapped his arm lightly. “no, j. not that. i want more.”

it was like a lightbulb went off in his brain. “oh!” his pupils were blown wide, his hair messy, and cheeks slightly flushed. “you sure about this sweet girl?”

you nodded immediately. “mhm.”

his pushed your hair from your face, pressing another kiss to your lips. “words, baby.”

“yes jj, i want this. want you,” you said.

“fuck,” he mumbled under his breath. “you can’t say that shit.”

you giggled to yourself and pulled his face down to your so you could kiss his soft lips. you could hear some jostling in the background, jj ridding himself of his boxers, but you didn’t really care. you just focused on the feeling of his lips against yours.

unfortunately though, it was cut short. “are you sure you want this? like sure sure?”

you nodded, eyes glued to his. “yes. i want this.”

“if you want me to stop, you gotta tell me baby. and if it hurts, i want you to tell me immediately,” he said firmly, letting you know he wasn’t playing about this.

“i know. i will,” you replied surely.

he pressed his lips against yours again to distract you, but you were still hyperaware that the head of his cock was resting against your opening. you felt his hands leave your waist, one to rub gentle circles on your clit.

he kissed you a little harder when he very slowly began to push his hips forward. you whimpered into his mouth at the uncomfortable stretch. it wasn’t painful, just new. your arms came to rest over his broad shoulders, pulling his closer to you until you were chest to chest.

the fingers rubbing at your clit sped up, trying to make up for the weird feeling this was giving you as he continued to push in about halfway. you couldn’t help but clench around his length, the pleasure on your clit feeling so good.

“fuck, sweetheart. need you to tell me now cause i once i start, don’t think i’ll be able to stop myself.”

you moaned at his words. “don’t want you to stop.”

“you’re gonna be the fuckin’ death of me, baby,” he whispered lowly against your lips.

#gracie writes jj maybank 🌸 #gracies asks and requests 💌 #jj maybank #jj maybank angst #jj maybank blurb #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank imagines #jj maybank obx #jj maybank x you #obx #jj #jj maybank smut #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #obx jj #jj obx #jj outer banks #jj maybank virgin smut

[sokkastyles]

I've seen people try to argue that while Katara and Zuko have a close friendship, Katara could never trust him enough to be in a romantic relationship with him. And the thing about this is that I think we are really underestimating here the amount of trust Katara would have to put in Zuko to even be an ally to him, let alone a friend.

Katara's hurt is so great that there is no possibility of her having even a casual relationship with Zuko if she was not assured that he no longer believed any of the things he previously believed about her people or the other nations, and no longer would act on those beliefs. Their entire relationship is built on not only Zuko's redemption but Katara's belief in his redemption, which the show spends quite a bit of time building. The reason Katara was so angry at Zuko when he joined the gaang is because she did not trust and believe that he had changed, and she needed that convincing to even allow herself to be around him.

That's why the renewed interest in calling Zuko a colonizer to discredit zutara does not ring true. It seems to actually diminish the choices Katara made to trust Zuko, to paint Katara's trust in him as undeserved. Which actually undermines Katara's pain in a misguided attempt to "protect" her from it because then everything Katara does from the Southern Raiders onward, every moment where she confides in Zuko and expresses care towards him and fights alongside him, becomes a moment where she is actually not a person making a choice to trust Zuko. It reduces her to a victim in a relationship that she actively invested in and assumes that her forgiveness of him was either insincere or coerced.

And the problem with that is that in canon, Katara's relationship with Zuko is actually a healing one. Her forgiveness of him is essential to her finding closure for not only the pain he caused her, but the pain of the loss of her mother. That is why she explicitly chooses to forgive Zuko and not Yon Rah. The closeness she has with Zuko following this choice is a result of her decision to seek healing and accept Zuko's help, and to give him what help she can. She does not forgive because she is morally obligated to, but because she chooses to and wants to.

And this process actually began long before Katara forgave Zuko. It began in the crystal catacombs when not only did Zuko apologize to Katara, but Katara apologized to him. Because seeing Zuko as someone like her who was in pain was part of her way of finding healing for herself. That's the thing that is missing when people insist that there is forever this unbridgeable gap between them. That Katara herself sought to close that gap as part of her healing process.

That also was a large part of why she felt betrayed by him in book 3. Which means that reconciling with him was an essential part of finding closure. Katara could not just put up with Zuko. She could not be an ally or a casual friend. She had to be sure that there was mutual trust between them, and she had to feel it.

She would accept nothing less from him than mutual respect and trust. And I don't think she would accept anything less if their relationship became romantic.

#zutara #zuko #katara

[elliespeach]

the air that i breathe | ellie williams

˗ˏˋ "because i can make it quick, or i could make it so much worse." ´ˎ˗

synopsis: a camping trip you and ellie embark on takes a devastating turn. with you in the hands of raiders ellie's sanity is brought to her breaking point and she will stop at nohting to get you back. wordcount: 8.3k + warnings: 18+ ellie n readers headspace is very dark!! depression, panic attacks, horrible desperation, and lots of trauma responses that are vividly described. graphic depictions of violence, kidnapping, reader is confined in a cell by chains, food/water deprivation, hallucinations, torture (reader by raiders, ellie to the raiders) ellie is basically santa barabra ellie but multiply it by thirty n reader is like trapped in the dark so i think that counts as claustrophobia. this fic can b very triggering so pls take the tags seriously!! different povs (ellie n reader) they are seperated for most of this fic, theres some fluff in their dreams but thats truly as soft as it gets author note: pls pls read me!! this story came to me randomly, its not a traditional fic in my eyes but i hope u guys like it nonetheless!! the name comes from the show bridgerton, one of violets lines towards her husband and i was like THAT is true love so here we are :) theres a lot of in game elements to this story on ellie's part so i hope i did that justice :)) i'm a lil nervous to post this im ngl so pls be kind and lmk if yall like it plsssss i beg of u i wanna make this a multi part fic esp w the way it ends so any feedback will be appreciated!! ily guys enjoy

ellie’s pov 

– three days after the kidnapping

the first thing ellie hears is the low, familiar voices of joel and tommy. as their mumbled conversation rings through her ears, her head throbs. a groan escapes her lips, bringing her hand up weakly to rub it as if it would help. ellie opened her eyes slowly, the pain intensifying from the sun shining through the windows. her vision came to focus, looking around it was the infirmary in jackson. she was laid down in one of the beds and when her eyes landed on joel and tommy, they looked at her sympathetically. 

joel took small steps toward her, barely able to make eye contact. “how ya feelin’ kiddo?” he asked, painfully sitting himself down at the end of her bed. ellie wasn’t able to read him clearly, and then she started thinking. why am i in this bed? her mind raced and it must’ve been obvious to her company because joel spoke again. “it’s gonna be okay.” 

she frantically searched through her foggy mind, everything was so blurry and out of order. she thought of you. the only thing that came to the front of her mind with ease. the camping trip, she thought to herself. she saw you in her head, all bundled up in the sleeping bag and wearing ellie’s shirt. her lips began to curl at the ends before she realized you weren’t here by her bedside. she remembers leaving the tent that night, for what reason she doesn’t know, but you stayed behind, cuddled up in the sleeping bag.

thats when– your scream. it echoed in her head, taunting her. the quiet forest that surrounded the two of you amplified your terrified scream and ellie’s face grimaced at the memory. she knows she ran to you, why was i so far away from you? her brain was waking up and with it, horrible images flashed in front of her. the tent that had been cut open, the rusty old pick-up truck, the men that had you in their grasp, the last glance ellie had of you before the bud of a gun was slammed into her head. it all came flooding back in an instant. 

ellie looked up at joel, tears brimming over her eyes. she spoke in a low voice, but despite the tears that fought to fall, her tone was flat. “where is she?” 

joel was quick to answer, “we’ve been tracking them–” 

“how long have i been out?” she boomed, trying to sit up but her brain pounded against her skull, forcing her back down in the bed. joel moved up, sitting closer to her but couldn’t find the words, his heart ached for ellie. he looked to tommy with a solemn expression, and his little brother stepped forward. 

“it’s been three days, ellie,” tommy vocalized softly. “we’re doin’ all we can, i promise.” 

“obviously it’s not fucking enough!” ellie shouted, pinching the bridge of her nose and shutting her eyes tight. you came to mind when she did, usually she pictures you happily; picking a flower and tucking in her hair, taking a nap on ellie’s couch with your head in her lap, posing while she drew you. you were the spitting image of innocence in her mind. but as her eyes shut now, all she could see was the absolutely heart-wrenching image of your face as you were thrown into the truck. 

her eyes opened almost immediately, unable to see it even for a second longer. her cheeks became wet as the tears poured out of her, her breathing became erratic and she clutched her chest. joel was quick to comfort her but it only did so little. “we-we have to fi-find her,” ellie managed to speak through panicked breaths, feeling her chest about to burst. 

the pain in her head was nothing compared to this, and it almost felt non-existent in the face of you being gone. being with them. whoever they are, whatever they want with you. they should have taken me. it should have been me. it should have been me. it should hav–

“ellie, breath–” joel cooed next to her, rubbing her back and removing her from her thoughts. “we’ll find her.” 

“i’m co-coming with you,” her chest was still heaving and she felt like she’d never breathe right again. not until you were standing next to her. 

tommy sighed, barely audible over ellie’s apparent panic-attack. “you’re on bed rest, kid. i’m sorry. but we will bring her back to you.” 

his words felt like daggers and she was quick to respond. “if you think for one sec–” 

“it’s not up for discussion, ellie.” joel interjected, his voice was soft but stern. and ellie scoffed through the tears, looking at joel harshly. 

before ellie could spew a rant to him, tommy spoke, “we think they’re on the border of utah. were going tomorrow at first light and when we come back she will too. okay?” 

ellie’s thoughts were a jumbled mess, and as her breathing became somewhat normal she was able to think. play it cool. “o-okay,” let them think i won’t go anywhere. “my head r-really hurts. gonna sleep for now,” she mumbled, pulling the blanket up and over her head. she laid with her back turned to them and she felt the bed move beside her. joel and tommy mumbled another string of words to each other before ellie heard the door creek open. 

“rest up, kiddo. she’s gonna be okay.” joel said to her sympathetically and ellie remained quiet under her covers, plotting her escape. 

she slept for another few hours. she knew she had to wait until night time anyway, there was no use in staying awake and plaguing her thoughts with what is happening to you. but as she slept her mind played horrible tricks on her, she dreamt of saving you that night. brutally slaying the men who had dared to even think about touching you, their blood stained her dreams but at the end of it you were in her arms. 

when she woke up alone, her reality came crashing back down. it forced her to sit up, ignoring her head that was killing her slowly. there was no night time infirmary nurse and she knew now was her only opportunity to sneak away. the clock on the pale blue walls read one in the morning, jackson was asleep. the only people she would need to avoid were night patrols, and the guards around the armory. 

she hauled herself out of bed, her feet dragging on the cold floor and she located her bag. her clothes from the camping trip were tucked inside and she quickly changed. ellie tried to picture the men’s faces, and all that came to her were figures whisking you away. she decided it was best to not think about it, but it was a lot easier said than done and she found herself shaking her head frequently to rid the images from her mind. 

slipping out of the infirmary was easy, a small house on the corner of a dead end street. the streetlamps had been turned off by now, saving power and ellie easily made her way towards the armory. she approached in a crouch, hiding behind a bush in the shadows. she watched as the guards were laughing, telling stories and all around not paying attention. the armory was a larger building near the stables, the guards were circled around a makeshift booth at the front.

sneaking to the side of the building she tugged open a window and crawled inside. she loaded herself with her usual rifle that she took on patrols. taking it down from the wall she stared at it for too long, remembering the day she taught you how to shoot.

“all you have to do is point, aim and–” 

“if you say point, aim and fire one more time.” you laughed at her, your attention shifting between the gun and ellie. 

“i’m just trying to help you, pumpkin.” 

instead of making her feel soft and warm, the memory made her go cold. she couldn’t place you, your face was a cloudy mess in her mind but your voice rang true. her eyes glossed over, hearing your laugh in her head and all she could think of what she would do to these people once she found them. in a haze she stuffed supplies in her bag, a surplus of ammo for her rifle and pistol and then some. she removed her switchblade from her bag and put it in her back pocket for easy access, throwing a trench knife into the backpack just in case. 

she was almost back of out the window she came in when she realized the trip was going to be long, and she had no food in her bag whatsoever. sighing, she looked around. the left over food from the guards littered the small counter to the side of the room. sandwiches and nuts and ellie figured it would have to do and before long she was sneaking to her usual spot in the fence. 

the walk to it was familiar, she had done it with you a thousand times. it was a loose panel of wood that to the unknowing eye would be a secured fence, but with a gentle tug, it gave way. ellie and you had discovered it one day, and it quickly became your get-a-way whenever one of you wanted to escape the confines of the walls. there was a small over-look just beyond the wall, about a ten minute walk from jackson. ellie had drawn you there with the landscape behind you, the picture is hanging on the wall in her garage and she cherishes it like it was gold. 

she pictured you there, trying to remember how peaceful you were to her. like the calm in the storm that was her life. all she could conjure was that night so she dropped it and viciously bit her cheeks with frustration. ellie came to the broken piece of wood, taking a quick look around before pushing it and then herself through the gap. the forest beyond was still and quiet. peaceful almost. putting the board back in place, she turned and headed for the highway. 

readers pov

– day of the kidnapping

the last you saw ellie she was falling to the ground as she came up to your campsite. the man who had been hiding behind the tree knocked her out with a swift blow to the head. you cried out, thrashing in the hands of the man who had lifted you from the ground. “fucking let go of me!” you shouted as your world tumbled around you, you fell into the bed of the truck with a hard smack, pain shot up your spine and you groaned, rolling over. 

the man jumped up onto the back of the truck, making it wobble with his weight. you crawled backwards instinctively, your eyes darting from him and your motionless girlfriend on the ground yards away. your stomach turned as he pulled his fist back and there was nothing you could do before he brought it down heavily onto your skull and everything went black. 

while unconscious, your mind brought you back to ellie’s room. her stereo playing softly as you sat on her bed, watching her read the same book she always did. her eyes scanned the pages as if she had never seen it before. she was laying on her stomach, legs dangling over the side of the bed as she flipped the pages. it was a book about the constellations in the sky and every so often she would show you a page and say it reminded her of you. “this one–” she showed you, a cheeky smile on her face as she turned the book towards you. 

“that just looks like lines, els.” you chuckled at her while you examined the page. you never understood her when she spoke about space, but you liked to hear her ramble. her voice was so comforting to you and it always brought you back down to earth. 

“no, no, pumpkin, look–” she pointed with her fingers on the page, outlining the stars. “its cassiopeia on her throne. d’ya see it?” her soft green eyes met yours, a hopeful look in them. 

you didn’t see it, you just saw lines on a page but ellie’s enthusiasm poured through her and who were you to deny her of it. “yeah, i see it,” you lied, getting closer to get a better look hoping it will just come to you. “why do you say that?” 

“dunno,” she shrugged, looking back to the page. “but it says here she was a queen, so i think that’s why.” 

her words always left you feeling like the most special person, and to ellie you were. you playfully hit her with a pillow, causing a mildly loud “ow!” from her. 

“you’re so fucking cheesy,” you smiled, hitting her again with the pillow. as you brought it down on her she grabbed it. ellie moved quickly and sat on her knees as she struggled to take the pillow from you. she looked down at you, back against the bed and giggling so sweetly. she was able to snatch the pillow, throwing it to the side and leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“you love it, shut up.” her words bounced off your face and she pulled her face down to be directly in front of yours. her eyes stared into yours and you could see just how much she loved you on full display within her green eyes. she leaned in to kiss you and as her lips brushed against yours, the world around you melted away. 

you felt cold and you could swear your eyes were open but you couldn’t see anything. you felt around, the ground beneath you was solid and ragged and as you moved you heard the clanking of chains. moving your hands down your legs you sensed the frigid metal that encased your ankle, following the chain with your hands to a bolt in the wall. 

the walls had the same texture as the floor and you began to panic. you recounted the last memory you had, ellie laying on the ground. the man punching you in the face. reaching up to touch your sensitive skin, a sharp pain came from your cheek and you gasped. incoherent curses came stringing out of your mouth that quickly turned to yelling. you shouted for ellie, her name bounced off of the walls around you and with every call unanswered the hope inside you diminished. the darkness was over-bearing and you were forced to picture every horrible thing these people could do to you simply just because they could. your voice, that was still begging for ellie, became hoarse. a lump settled in your throat from wailing and you felt sick to your stomach.

you knew none of this was helpful. the screaming, the wailing, but you couldn’t help it. the emotions poured out of you until there was nothing left, ellie could be dead and you were locked up god knows where. you hadn’t even begun to think of why they had taken you, your head was too jambled to think straight. and after what seemed like hours in the black void of your cell, a dim light flickered on and came peeking beneath a door you didn’t even know was there. it illuminated the room just enough to see that cement encased you behind the metal door. 

with a click of a lock the door opened and the sudden light hitting your eyes made you jump, shielding your face with your hands. you heard footsteps approach you slowly but stop a few feet away. a cold hand came up to your forearm and you swung, trying to keep whoever this was away from you at all costs. but their cold hands grasped your arms, forcing you to look upon them. the dim overhead light in the next room outlined the man in front of you, you couldn’t make out a face but he was brutish, and he smelled like a campfire. 

“don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” the man growled, the taunting in his voice was sinister.  

you used all the energy you could to spit in his face and he recoiled, letting go of your arms to wipe his face and he took a step back. “fuck you!” you snarled, spit leaving your mouth with the anger that boiled inside of you. 

he chuckled as he wiped the remaining spit from his face, “we could have killed you, ya know?” the man muttered, taking small strides towards the metal door. his hand reached for the wall, turning on an overhead light in your cell. looking around, it seemed to be a basement. you could see stairs past the door to the cement room and as you peered through the door, the man repositioned himself in front of your face. 

you didn’t say anything and his head cocked to the side as he knelt in front of you. “but we didn’t, do you know why?” his tone was antagonizing and as your eyes adjusted you could make out his face, a large scar was centered by his nose as if he had been cut. you shook your head at his question, not wanting to speak. also because your throat stung from the previous screaming. 

“well,” he looked to the side, using his hands on his knees to hoist himself back up to his feet and he towered over you. “i would have told you but–” he motioned to his face, still glistening from your spit. “maybe tomorrow.” his words were fast, he turned on his heel and headed for the door. 

in a panic you lurched forward, arm out and you tried to stop him. your ankle tugging on the chain as you reached for him.“wait, please don’t!” came rushing out of your mouth but it was too late. the light was switched off and as the door shut behind him, you were enveloped in the darkness yet again. 

— four days after the kidnapping

the black void of your cell had become never ending. after the man with the scar left, the only time anyone would open the door was to give you as little food as possible. keeping you weak and unable to fight back, but alive just enough to do whatever they had planned. if you had been told you were here for a week you would have believed it, time moves weird in the dark and you never knew what time of the day it was, if they were swerving you breakfast or dinner– you had no idea. 

at first you tried to stand, to pace around and get your body moving. after a while it became too repetitive and you fell to your knees, tired and disoriented. you hadn’t moved an inch since, just laying curled up on the floor with your back to the door. the only thing that kept you occupied besides sleeping was reliving memories, playing them over and over again in your head. they were all of ellie, her freckled face and auburn hair and that stupid constellations book. 

she was your every waking thought and even slipped her way into your dreams. ellie was the only thing keeping you from going completely insane in the darkness. you could picture her so clearly, but when you thought about her voice it never sounded right. you were only able to hear it in your dreams, but when you woke it slipped away like water in your hands. traceable, but not recognisable. you made it your mission to remember, a small controllable goal in a situation so far out of your hands and it provided a sense of comfort. as much as it could. 

you were tracing her name over the cold ground beneath you, whispering it softly as if it was a crime when you drifted off once again. it had become routine and a sure fire way to make sure she was in your dreams, her voice and all. this time your dreams planted you in the memory of watching her favorite movie together, curled up on the couch with your head in her lap and her hands playing in your hair. 

“don’t get attached to her,” ellie said casually above you, pointing to the small tv. you groaned, looking up at her and her innocent eyes met yours. 

“you spoil every movie, els.��� you say with a fake annoyance in your voice, playfully swatting at the hand pointing to the tv. 

“i didn’t say what happens to her!” her hands go up defensively, looking down at you in her lap. her face had been speckled with sun freckles from the previous day, leaving it absolutely covered from her chin to her forehead. even her eyebrow slit had a few small dots in it, and you found it hard to be annoyed with her. 

turning your attention back to the movie with an unsure mhm, your eyes left hers and for a moment there was silence. and ellie couldn’t help herself, she mumbled, “exceptshetotallygetschoppedinhalf.” 

you sprung up, your head leaving her lap, positioning yourself next to her on your knees. swiftly you propelled her down and straddled her torso. dramatic gasps left her mouth and she placed her hands on your hips, looking you up and down. “you’re gonna pay for that, you know,” you said to her, cupping her face with one hand. 

“i’m soooo scared, pumpkin” she teased, and as the words left her mouth it was like someone had pressed the mute button. her lips moved, and she was definitely talking but her voice was gone, like it had blown away in the wind. the nickname you cherished so deeply from her inaudible and as you realized this your eyes snapped open. the darkness was back, and ellie was gone, along with her voice. 

you tried to cling on to it, but the harder you tried to remember it, the further it went in your mind. if you weren’t so dehydrated, you’d be crying and thrashing around, desperately hoping for her voice to come back to you. but instead being too weak to do anything, you pulled your legs up to your chest and laid in the silence. you didn’t know how long you had been asleep, not that it mattered anyway, but your stomach was feeling emptier than ever before so it must have been a while. 

remnants of your dream flashed in your mind and your hand placed itself on your face as ellie had always done, imagining it was her. imagining her coming to save you, her holding you. every thought that consumed you was her. she can’t be dead. you repeat to yourself like your own little mantra. she isn’t dead.

time shifted again and you heard footsteps coming down the stairs beyond the door. the metal door clicked and opened as it always did, but instead of food being thrown at you in the dark, the lightswitch flicked on. your eyes nearly burst from the pain after being in the dark for so long and you covered them with your hands. “ready to talk like a civilized person?” the raspy voice spoke and you removed your hands from your face, squinting your eyes until they adjusted. 

you nodded slightly and the man with the scar sighed, “good,” he crouched in front of you and you locked eyes with him, anger filling you up head to toe but you fought against it. “where’d we leave off, huh?” 

“w-why you took me,” your voice was small and you realized you hadn’t actually talked in days besides muttering ellie’s name to yourself. 

“right!” he exclaimed loudly, making you jump as it echoed off the walls. “you seemed valuable, at least to that girl,” as he acknowledged ellie, your face lit up and you hung on to his words. “so we figured, you’d be a good bargaining chip for food and whatnot.” 

the nonchalantness in his voice made your skin crawl and your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. “and you think giving me back like this will get you what you want?” you asked, your voice slowly returning. the man looked down on you with a smug expression. 

“if they want you back alive, yeah. i do. we’re gonna send a party to your town to give them our demands for you,” his finger grazed your leg and you snaked it back. the chains rattled as you did and a chuckle came from him. “we just need to know exactly what you people got.” 

worry swirled around inside of you and you knew what ellie would do in this situation, so you remained as strong as you could, picturing her in your mind. “i’m not telling you anything–” 

“it’s your choice,” he sighed, reaching into his back pocket. he pulled out a small knife and it was too similar to ellie’s for your liking. “just know you can change your mind at anytime.” with that, his knife pierced your skin and your screams filled the room. 

ellie’s pov

— five days after the kidnapping

ellie had been traveling on foot for two days now. her head still ached with the concussion she suffered and her feet felt like they were on fire with every step. everytime she felt like stopping, a foggy image of you would cross her mind and she would keep going. she only stopped when she was practically falling over, hours after the sun had gone down.

by the second day, her legs were giving out on her. she stumbled into the underbrush to the side of the road, falling to her knees and then flat on her stomach. too exhausted to eat and sleep came easy to her. she knew it would only be an hour of sleep but she physically couldn’t go any further tonight. so she embraced sleep, knowing it would only make her nightmares surface yet again. 

tonight her nightmare seemed to be a complete recollection of that night. she was in the tent with you and you rambled about a book you had borrowed from dina. ellie was rifling through her backpack, looking for the constellations book. she had promised to show you cassiopeia on her throne in the night sky, but her book wasn’t in her bag. “i fuckin’ packed it,” she said mindlessly, dumping her belongings out onto your sleeping bag. 

“it’s okay, we can find it without the book.” you reassured her, a soft smile on your face as you did. 

“no, there was– ugh,” she sighed, accepting defeat. you looked at her, a puzzled expression on your face that she couldn’t quite see. “i had something for you, it was in the book.” 

“i’m sure whatever it was, i’ll love it when we get back just as much.” you leaned up, planting a delicate kiss on her lips. ellie’s worry washed away and placed a hand to your cheek when you pulled apart. 

 thats when the silent forest came to life. animals could be heard sprinting between trees, and the birds caulking as they were so rudely woken up by whatever had scared them. ellie’s head turned to the opening in the tent and you grabbed her arm, forcing her to look back to you. 

she saw the usual cloudy mess instead of your face, but in her dreams it seemed to be normal. she sat up, rubbing the arm that clutched hers before she spoke. “probably just a runner, i’ll be right back.” she kissed the top of the blur and felt the grip loosen around her arm. 

“be quick–” you whispered to her as she left the warm tent into the chill air. ellie looked around the campsite, not seeing anything but the noises of the animals still alarmed her, so she expanded her search. 

she had wandered down to the small creek about twenty yards from you, hoping the sound of the rushing water had attracted the infected but there was none in sight and as she turned to make her way back to you, and the night you had planned, your shriek came barreling through the trees. 

not hesitating for a second, ellie was running. her fists pumping at her sides like a madman, she didn’t have time to think about what could possibly be tormenting you, but when she bursted into the campsite and her eyes locked on you, thrashing in the grasp of a random man, her heart sank to her stomach. your face was no longer blurred, she could see every detail that made your face so perfect but your terrified expression haunted her and the gun coming down on her head sprung her awake. 

the sun hadn’t risen yet and her surroundings were still dark. she pushed herself off the ground, not wanting to go back to sleep until you were next to her. coming from the trees that lined the highway, she kept going. the little rest she got was enough to propel her forward and while she walked her mind wandered. it wasn’t long before the sound of morning birds snapped her out of a haze and as she looked up from her feet she saw a welcome to utah sign. it was still dark, probably the very beginning of the morning and ellie noticed smoke coming from the trees just behind the sign. 

not hesitating she moved closer, taking her steps slowly and lowering herself to the ground, she pushed past the trees and saw the makings of a camp. a giant fire roared in the middle of all the people sleeping around it. her eyes landed on the man to the left, furthest from the horses and a picture flashed in her mind. he laid there peacefully, but ellie recognized him as the man who had knocked her out. and suddenly her thoughts halted themselves and her feet moved for her. 

knowing she could never take all of them at once, especially as exhausted as she was, ellie decided on a different plan. starting with the woman closest to the horses, she positioned herself right next to her and grabbed the knife she had placed in her pocket. ellie’s hand covered the womans mouth and her eyes opened harshly. without a second thought, she sliced the knife along the neck of the panicked woman. 

the fires crackling was enough to mask the sound of her blood gurgling from the wound. the woman grasped at ellie desperately trying to save her own life but her movements soon slowed, her arms falling to her sides. removing her hand, she moved on to the next one. watching as the life drained from him as well as he struggled to alert his friends. ellie had gone glossy eyed, and if she was being honest she wasn’t in full control of her actions. her mind only had one goal, and these people stood in her way. they caused this. they deserve it. 

blood spattered onto her face while she glided the switchblade across the neck of the third man, once he had stopped fighting back and his eyes were staring blankly up into the sky ellie locked her own eyes on the final man. the one who had prevented her from saving you, now that it was only him left she stomped over to him. as she approached him, her chest was heaving and blood dripped from her face.

she stood over him for a moment, watching as he slept peacefully. cocking her head to the side, she kicked him harshly in the stomach. immediately he rolled over, clutching his stomach and groaning in pain. ellie drove her foot into his now exposed back and he cried out in pain yet again. despite his pain, the man tried to get away. crawling on his hands and knees as quickly as he could, he only made it a few feet when the sound of ellie’s gun cocking made him stop in his tracks. 

“turn around,” ellie grunted, her breathing more heavy than before. the man did as he was told, and as he did his eyes widened at the sight of ellie, covered in blood, sweat and dirt. they wandered past her, looking upon his dead friends and his hands raised to the side of his head. 

“take it all–” 

“you remember me?” her voice was low, hushed even and as the terrified man studied her face his eyebrows raised slightly, and ellie’s lips threatened to curl at the ends. “yeah, you remember me.” 

the man remained quiet in his realization and ellie’s gaze directed itself at the paper poking out from his pocket. the fire illuminated the camp just enough to see it was a map and she motioned her gun towards it, “you’re gonna show me exactly where she is.” her voice was flat but firm. 

“i can’t do that–” his voice trembled and his words were cut off by ellie moving closer to him, her gun now directly in his face. 

“you don’t have a fucking choice!” she shouted, ripping the map from his pocket while her gun remained closely trained on him. she laid it flat on the ground, crouching down to his level and staring him down. he shook his head feverishly, terrified of ellie but even more concerned about her finding their base. while he refused to speak, she had grown tired of waiting and with her available hand took her switchblade and dug it deeply into his thigh and twisted with all her strength.

he wailed, losing balance on his knees and falling to his side. ellie removed the knife, wiping it clean on her jeans before lowering her head to him. “you’d better start fucking talking.” 

the gun was still pointed to his face and he looked at her with disdain, “i’m fucking dead anyway why would i tell you anything.” he said breathlessly, trying to cover the hole in his leg with his hands and failing miserably. 

“because i can make it quick,” she twirled her switchblade in her fingers, grazing it over his cheeks as he winced back. “or i could make it so much worse.” 

“fuck you!” he spat with all his might and ellie dug her knife into his arm, sliding it down while it tore open his flesh. his screams filled the woods around them and in a desperate attempt to save his life, he reached for her gun. 

it pointed up and ellie fired at the sudden scramble. the man tackled her to the ground, pinning her down and fighting to take the gun from her hand. in the tussle, her switchblade fell from her grasp and landed a few feet away. in a panic she fought for the gun, kneeing the man in the stomach as hard as she could but he remained firm on top of her. her free hand swung up, knocking him on the head and his grip on the gun loosened. as she yanked it back, it slipped from her own hands and fell to the ground. while he was stunned from her punch, ellie managed to throw him off of her. she rolled around, looking on the ground for her gun but it blended in so well with the dirt and sticks she couldn’t see it. 

taking a quick look back to the man, he had picked up a rather large rock and tried smashing it down on her head. ellie moved, nearly missing having her head bashed in and she noticed her blade glistening in the now rising sun. she army crawled as the man grasped at her legs to pull her back. her fingers fiddled with the handle before she was able to firmly wrap her hand around it. as she did, the man dragged her back towards him and while he tried to position himself on top of her, ellie plunged the switchblade deep into his chest. the crunch of it piercing his sternum confirmed it was a deadly hit and she watched as he lost any hope to stay alive. 

his mouth hung open in shock, looking down to the puncture wound and his hands went to grasp around it. his legs straddled ellie’s torso, allowing the blood that poured from it to fall directly onto her. the man coughed and instead of spit, blood spewed from his mouth staining his teeth in the process before he fell over beside her. ellie didn’t move, her breathing erratic from the fight. 

the man gurgled on his own blood for a moment before it got quiet again, the woods silent as ever except for her heaving breaths. her hands fell to her sides and she gazed up to the sky, the stars still burning brightly above the trees. all of her exhaustion hit her at once like a truck and she fought to keep her eyes from closing. right before she thought sleep would consume her and she would have to relive her worst nightmare all over again, she saw the makings of a constellation. at first, it wasn’t recognizable, just another clump of stars in the galaxy. but when it clicked in her mind, she propped herself up on her elbows and the tiredness melted away. it was cassiopeia. 

that was everything she needed. ellie got up with a new surge of energy, taking the map with her and anything else she could find useful. she strode away from the grim scene on their horse, following the map to the first exit off the utah highway. with the horse, the rest of the journey seemed like light work. it was only an hour before she spotted the fences to the community. 

tying the horse to a hidden tree for a get-away, she circled the small town. the fence was chain linked and she watched inside as the town woke up to start their day. ellie was able to see that only a small amount of people woke up this early, leaving the streets barely occupied. 

staying in the shadows, she slipped under the fence that was poorly secured. she found herself in between two small houses, ellie could make out mumbled words from the street so she moved up, making sure to stay as close to the wall of the house as possible. 

“....hopefully they will come back with the stuff by tomorrow.” a woman's voice could be heard, ellie dared not to peek around the corner and listened further to their conversation. 

“we don’t even know if they have anything, we could be chasing a dead end.” ellie’s eyebrows furrowed as the second voice spoke. she figured they were talking about the group she had slaughtered, but could jackson be the dead end they were speaking about? is that why they wanted you?

“just gotta hope for the best, i guess.” the woman spoke again before her footsteps could be heard walking away. ellie’s body tensed up, quickly her mind showed her the haunting image of your face and she shook her head, focusing her eyes around the corner. she caught a glimpse of the woman walking down the sidewalk, leaving the man to stand in front of the house alone. he was reading a note intensely and ellie took a look around to make sure her coast was clear. 

she came up behind him, swiftly covering his mouth and dragging him back between the houses for cover. she ripped the note from his hands and used the bandana that had been around his head to cover his mouth and threw him to the ground. while she examined the note, her pistol was focused on him keeping him in place. 

residents be advised that your council is doing all they can to provide for you. we are currently bartering with a town in wyoming for food, and unlike last time, we are sure they will be more than happy to provide.

ellie balled up the paper in her fists, scoffing and throwing it beside the man. “the girl, where is she?” ellie hissed at him, keeping her voice low. he mumbled through the bandana and she rolled her eyes. “don’t fucking scream, you can make it out of this.” she said before pulling the bandana down. 

the mans eyes were wide with fear as he looked upon ellie, but he spoke fast and quietly while darting his eyes between her and the gun. “i don’t know about a girl, i really don’t plea–” 

ellie shook her head before snatching his wrist in her hand, bending his finger back and he winced. “okay, okay okay,” he rushed out, feeling his finger about to snap. “our hunters, they came back a few days ago with something they wouldn’t tell anyone about,” he paused, looking at ellie and her grip loosened. 

“keep talking.” she ordered him and he stammered his words, trying to desperately abide by her rules. 

“usually they bring the meat to the kitchen but-but they parked the truck outside of our leaders house, said it was nothing but it didn-didn’t look like nothin’.” 

ellie moved the gun into his neck, nuzzling it right below his ear and his breathing hitched up. “where?”

“go left do-down the street, the truck is old you can’t miss it!” ellie knew the truck all too well and without another word she removed the gun from his neck and he breathed a sigh of relief. 

“thanks–” ellie whispered as her switchblade lodged itself in his neck. he didn’t scream, just looked at her wide-eyed as he tried to stop his neck from bleeding. ellie didn’t wait around, his blood still bubbling as she walked away, turning left down the street. 

she was careful, she moved down the street hiding behind cars, bushes and whatever else she could find. when she was starting to think the man had given her bad information, the truck came into view. it was parked blissfully in the driveway of a quaint looking house. she found herself climbing through an open window on the first floor, escaping the street and its peering eyes. ellie landed in the living room of the house, it wasn’t decorated, the walls were blank and the furniture looked like it was rotting away. 

that's when she heard voices coming from upstairs, she almost ascended the stairs herself but the voices were coming closer. she hid behind the dusty couch as the stairs creaked and found herself in the company of two men who had no idea she was eavesdropping. 

“we already sent the group, why do you need more from her?” the raspy voice uttered, a hint of annoyance laced in his tone. 

ellie heard a long sigh, “because they could become our primary suppliers. as long as we have her, they will give us whatever we want. for as long as we want.” the second man spoke with a heavy country accent and her blood boiled, she stopped herself from jumping the two, instead listening for more information. 

“she wasn’t very forthcoming the first time–” 

his voice was cut off, “well fuckin’ make her. i told you whatever it takes.” another sigh filled her ears, and she wasn’t sure who had done it but feet were stomping away and she glanced around the couch. she witnessed a bald man opening a door down a dark hallway, while the man who had the accent went back upstairs. her brain was split, but she knew they wouldn’t have kept you upstairs so she followed the bald man with the raspy voice, opening the door silently and descending the stairs that were behind it. 

the end of the staircase opened up to a dimly lit basement, it was unfinished and dirty. she caught a glance at a metal door at the opposite end of the room before turning her attention back to the bald man, who was crouching down beside a workbench. it was lined with tools, but ellie knew what they were for. so as fast as she could, she approached him. he was barely able to turn around before she tackled him to the ground. the man was big but being caught off guard helped ellie as her hands gripped around his neck. 

she put all of her body weight into his neck, he was choking and failing his arms around at ellie. it didn’t phase her, even when he had slapped her across the face in his panic. her face was contorting with all the exertion and she stared down at him, never breaking eye contact. a scar was slashed across his face and she recognized this as the man who had thrown you into the truck, the image coming to her clearly. his eyes were bulging from their sockets and his legs were kicking with a passion but as ellie came to this realization she jerked her hands down, the applied pressure breaking his neck under her hands and he immediately went limp. 

in a cloudy haze she stood up, catching her breath and looking around for a key. she practically threw everything off of the workbench in front of her and when she didn’t find it she moved back to the man on the floor. she dug through his pockets and her fingers found a small metal key. 

she walked towards the metal door slowly. now that she was here, she was terrified of what she would see behind the door. she put the key into the lock and turned, earning a click. she breathed out all the air in her lungs before pushing it open and her heart was beating faster than she had ever known possible. the room was dark, and seemed empty. the light from the other room allowed her to see a small switch on the wall and she flicked it on, now fearing you werent even here. 

but you were. the light came on and your hands flew to your face shielding your eyes. ellie’s eyes immediately brimmed with tears seeing you. she took a step forward, taking off her backpack and laying it on the ground beside her. you were so obviously injured, puncture wounds up and down your legs with dried blood surrounding them. the chain around your ankle had almost embedded itself in your skin, resulting in a horrible looking bruise that had worked its way up your leg. ellie breathlessly said your name, tears falling from her eyes and your hands moved from your face slowly. 

your eyes weren’t adjusted, you just saw a blurry figure in front of you but you could have sworn you heard her voice. the voice that had escaped you every time you tried to hold on to it, and you thought your brain was playing a cruel prank. “please don’t,” you uttered quietly, fearing she was the man with the scar coming back to torture you more. 

ellie dropped to her knees in front of you, looking at your battered body not able to form words. they had broken you, and she blamed herself. anger brewed inside of her but in this moment, she remained soft spoken. “it’s me,” she whispered, reaching her hand out to touch your leg which you snaked away, still not believing she was actually there. you believed you were so desperate to see her, to hear her, that she materialized out of thin air. but that meant you were truly losing your sanity and you could barely look at her. 

“its not you–” you said back to her, looking to the floor and ellie’s eyes shut tightly to hold back anymore tears. you had backed up all the way to the wall, leaving ellie in the center of the room. she slowly moved to you as you watched her from your peripheral view.

she came up in front of you, “it’s me, pumpkin,” and placed a hand to your shallow cheek as she always had done. 

feeling her warm hands on your face, you met her eyes. her warmth couldn’t be your imagination and your own eyes welled up as she dragged her thumb carelessly across your cheek. her appearance didn’t even phase you, all you cared about was her. “ellie,” you sighed, shutting your eyes and placing your hand on top of hers that cupped your face. “you’re actually here?” your voice was small and faint, and it felt like ellie was stabbed in the heart. 

the blur that ruined her memories of you was gone. even the image of you being whisked away was gone. she scanned your still perfect face, it’s only faults being sunken in from hunger and bruising that littered your cheeks but it was still perfection to her. she felt more relief than she had when she killed the man in the woods, and the bald man that still laid a few feet away. you were here in front of her, finally.  ellie couldn’t help but smile at you, all her efforts hadn’t been in vain. 

“i’m actually here,” she repeated to you, connecting your foreheads together. “i found you.” 

ellie leaned back, inches from your face. her voice rang in your ears and you felt like you were floating with every word that came from her mouth after missing it for so long. you managed a smile for her. she was so close to you that you had barely seen the figure towering over her from behind, your mouth began to form her name to warn her but it was too late. the figure smashed ellie over the head and she fell unconscious beside you. 

#ellie williams #ellie williams fic #ellie williams x you #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams fanfiction #biblically accurate ellie williams #angst angst angst #ellie williams the last of us part 2 #santa barbra ellie

[assumptionprime]

I need to rant about the Fallout show

Because this is the person I am. Full spoilers, so I’m putting it behind a Keep Reading:

I’m a huge sucker for Fallout (yes even 3&4). And I went into the Fallout show with some… trepidation. Amazon has been a mixed bag on adaptations, we could have been blessed with a Good Omens, or cursed by a Rings of Power. But early buzz and reviews seemed positive, so I slammed the whole thing in one night with my spouse (we were staying at my in-laws house and they have Prime. Time was a factor.)

And y’know? I was really enjoying it! The characters were fun, the plot was engaging enough, and the costumes and visual design were extremely on point. There were some minor lore quibbles to be had: Ghouls needing some kind of medicine to not go feral. Really, more Enclave holdouts? Timeline and date whoopsies. Wait are they in California? Where the hell is the NCR?

I made a face at Shady Sands being bombed and the NCR collapsing. But I wasn’t completely out of the story. Based on what I had seen so far, I thought it was building to a reveal that the Brotherhood had done it. That the more zealous turn they took in Fallout 4, which has clearly carried to how they are portrayed in the show, lead them to bombing the NCR. War never changes, as they say. Maximus even says when asked what happened to Shady Sands: “The same thing that always happens.” Yeah, it leans into Bethesda’s weird desire to keep the Fallout world in a state of perpetual wastelands full of raiders and no civilization, but it wasn’t so terrible that I couldn’t still enjoy the show.

But then.

BUT THEN.

Episode 8, and the reveal of Vault-Tec apparently being the ones who dropped the first bomb in the Great War.

I was surprised to hear that some fans have apparently been debating over who fired first? Some even asked Tim Cain about it?

That’s really odd to me because, in the games, there is already a pretty definitive answer to which side sparked the Great War:

Who fucking cares?

The world ended. What does it matter who shot first?

There is no China, no United States, no communists or capitalists left to fight about it. 

It's a powerful little bit of lore.

For all the posturing, all the promises from each nation that their way is the true way, all the nationalism, the militarism, and blind loyalty to flags over humanity, they both lost. Everyone lost. All that remains of the ideologies and nations that were so important to the people of 2077 is faint echoes over vast expanses of radioactive ash.

Who started the end?

No one knows. No one cares.

It only matters that their conflict was so bitter, so all-consuming, that one of them dropped their bombs, and the other dropped theirs in return.

The truest legacy of the old world is the devastation left by their final, most horrific war.

Can we do better?

Then the show says "Nah, Vault-Tec did it. It's not a commentary on human nature and the futility of self-destructive conflict, it was actually these guys, these mustache twirling villains huddled in a darkened room literally plotting to end the whole world so they can rule what's left."

And I can see the attempt to make this a critique of capitalism. I actually paused the show to praise a bit of writing when Coop is talking with Charlie before the war, when Charlie tells him that the “cattle ranchers are in charge” to illustrate how capitalism and corporations hold too much sway over the government, it felt very in line with how in New Vegas one of the recurring critiques of the NCR is that all the real power is in the hands of the “brahmin barons.” Nice parallel, spot on!

But “we’ll set off total thermonuclear war so we can rule the ashes and have a True Monopoly” isn’t capitalism. It’s just dumb “we’re the baddies” writing.

And then Shady Sands was also Vault-Tec?! Forget any meaning in the NCR falling to the same corruption and/or factional fighting that consumed the old world, they were literally just bombed by the evil shadow conspiracy that apparently also killed the old world. Hank gives this speech about factions fighting and the futility of it all while we see the Brotherhood fighting Moldaver’s NCR remnant, and like, no! You can’t say that when you’ve made it so neither the old world or the NCR fell to war with another faction! It was you! You and your band of cryogenic supervillains!

I don't care that they changed it. Timelines and dates and little retcons don’t bother me all that much. I care that they changed it to something so much worse.

#fallout #fallout tv show #fallout spoilers #nerdy rant about shit that doesn't actually matter but has been stewing in my head for a week now

[l0ngschl0ngking]

Not the person I once knew

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: past lovers reunite after many years…and then what?

warnings: SMUT (vaginal fingering, oral-m!receiving, protected p in v -i know, shocker-, biting, choking, overstimulation al liiil’ possesive!Joel -just a smudge-), ANGST, mentions of death and shootings, thoughts and mentions of suicide, cursing, Joel and reader being two idiots that cannot express how they feel and…fluff because I can’t help myself

word count: 10k ( yeah the zero is supposed to be there)

A/N: I am too jumping on the Joel Miller train. This fic actually has plot and it’s not just a straight up porn which is shocking :D. Also I am actually crazy - I have a week off from school and that’s why I write that much. I can’t stop - literally.

Your feet were aching – you've had to walk at least 20 or so kilometers by now – and the cold was biting your skin most unpleasantly – finding a good winter coat or any kind of winter clothes was not easy in this fucking Outbreak. You started to feel thirsty and tired and all you wanted to do was lie down and fall asleep – maybe death by cold wasn't the worst fate you could've endured.

Your mind quickly flashing to your group – you've killed most of them, the snarling of them still ringing in your ears, the smell of gunpowder lingering in your nose. You've done what you had to do – one of your guys got infected and infected almost all of the other ones – the ones that survived either left to fend for themselves which you thought was the stupidest thing ever or killed themselves – fucking cowards. Their blood stuck to you like a second skin – the smell of iron making you uneasy when you started to think about it. Maybe you should've killed yourself too. What was the point in surviving now, anyways? You didn't have a group anymore and you had no supplies anymore. Sure, you could eat the snow for water intake and try to hunt something – but you felt too exhausted for that. Your knees buckling – you fall into the cold snow – you hear something then. Voices, the sound of horses neighing and a…dog? Were you starting to hallucinate? You weren't though – the sounds getting louder and clearer – you quickly scramble to your feet and grab your pistol but you pale when you see how many of them are there – all of them looking more sure of themselves on their horses and with their guns raised on you. The dog barks at you, snapping and growling and you've never thought that you might die getting robbed and then mauled by a dog – though they did not look like raiders. Their clothes look clean and kind of new – compared to your worn and torn-off jacket at least.

Someone says something but you don't hear them – your gaze focused on the dog, your pistol pointing at the handler. You've always been a dog lover – before the Outbreak at least – but this didn't look like he wanted to be friends with you.

“Hey, I said drop your fucking gun or I'll shoot your head clean off!” One of them says – repeating himself – and you gulp dryly doing what he says – you were a fighter but also you weren't stupid. There were too many of them and even if you had good aim you wouldn't be able to shoot your way out of this. The guy who addressed you squints his eyes when you lower the gun to your feet – he gestures for you to kick it further and you reluctantly do so.

“Listen here, cowboy,” you sass when you see the cowboy hat on his head, “I was just passing by – my group is dead, they got infected and-” at your words everyone grips their guns a little tighter – the person holding the dog loosening the leash a little in his hands. “Whoa, whoa, I am not infected, I swear.” You sound desperate and you are – you probably should have blown your fucking head of yourself when you still had the chance.

“We will see about that.” One of them gruffs – you guess it's the one closest to you, the one on your right – and you have the urge to break his nose. Yeah, if you were in their position you wouldn't trust someone either but you are not – and you feel pretty fucking terrified – even after years of survival. “Release Buckley!” The first one – the one with that stupid cowboy hat – says and then you see the big ball of fur running towards you. Closing your eyes you pray that he can't smell any jerky on you – you know so he could nibble on your fingers a little and get a taste of you. The pain of teeth digging into you as you expected doesn't come and so you open one of your eyes – you see that the dog's tail is wagging and a grin slowly makes its way on your face. You slowly bend one of your knees - you are not getting any younger and pain shoots through your leg – but you ignore it and start petting Buckley. He's not that bad when he doesn't look like he wants to eat you alive.

A high-pitched whistle cuts through the air and then he is gone – heeling opposite to the person who previously handled him. They don't say anything more and start to slowly turn their horses on their heels when an idea comes to your mind – they look well-fed and clean, and you feel hungry enough that you would eat practically anything. The exhaustion creeps back up at you after the adrenaline wears off and you shout a quick “hey” - their heads turning in question. You offer them a little smile, kicking your feet into the snow and putting your gun back.

“You guys have a place for one more hungry stomach? I just want something to eat – maybe a few hours of sleep and then I'll be out of your hair. Pinky promise.” you grin and show off your pinky finger – you've always had a way of trying to make the situation lighter than it really was and now that you know they don't pose any tŕeal threat – for now at least – you get your hopes up. All of them share a quick look before the one with that stupid cowboy hat – who wears something like that in the middle of the winter – nods and your grin spreads wider. You grab one of the hands that reach towards you to pull you on a horse – and when you are finally on its back, you stroke its muscular thigh lightly. Maybe this day was not so bad after all.

When you arrive at Jackson it is almost noon. You raise both brows when you see the wooden heavy gait in front of you– the people patrolling their stations curiously looking back at you. When you asked them if you could come with them you didn't expect a whole fucking community of people in a small town with electricity and other necessities – your eyes wandering to the various small buildings that look like shops more so than something where you could take shelter. When you asked them if you could come with them you expected a flimsy building without windows in which you would hardly make a fire. You aren't surprised anymore why they acted so tough – families lived here, old couples and people of various ages. A small flicker of hope goes straight to your heart – maybe you could stay here – you were tired of fighting to live another day. And this looked like a great fucking place.

The guy that was riding with you dismounts the horse – helping you do the same and you pet the animal – thanking it quietly. People don't really look at you – at least not so openly as the ones that were taking patrol – they are doing their own things – some of them just crossing the street, others helping to build a new building – you wonder what that is going to be for – a group of kids runs right in front of you squeaking. They play and your heart aches – it's the first time you've seen kids be so carefree since the outbreak happened – it looked like their childhood was not ripped from them. One of the kids – a young girl no older than 6 – looks almost like Sarah – curly wild hair, big eyes and the cutest dimples you've seen adorn her face – and you feel a pang of hurt in your heart. Reaching for your necklace you squeeze the ring that is on it tightly in your palm – Joel and Sarah would love it here.

The man you've called cowboy asks you something and you turn to look at him – he's quite handsome but he is a lot younger than you for sure – he has this boyish innocence still written all over his face when you pin him with your stare. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“I will accompany you to the canteen. Tommy is already waiting there, a few men that were with us already informed him about your arrival.” He sounds formal. Too formal – as if his words were learned. Like a little boy scout you think. Images of Tommy Miller through your mind and you grin fondly at the memory of him – you could never imagine him being a leader of a community like this.

“Lead the way, cowboy.” You don't miss the way that the boy's ears gain a darker shade of red and so do his cheeks.

When he leads you to the canteen – you can't believe that they have a real freakin canteen here – you look around because you can't take it all in at once. Jackson looks like an old town from some kind of cowboy movie – maybe that's why the boy wears the stupid hat. A few people on the way politely greet you and you greet them back. When you arrive at the canteen the bo points to the man that has his back turned back on you and before you can thank him – has gone. The lights adorning the room are a nice touch – it looks old school here – old wooden chairs, and tables with plaid cloth scattered across the room, and you can see an old Coca-Cola freezer from the corner of your eye. Your steps are much lighter – even though you are still hungry and tired you're at least not cold anymore, the temperature here is not as cold as outside. The man that cowboy pointed at talks to someone – an older lady with a high-pitched voice with pretty blue eyes – and you wait before they end their conversation, standing to the side. The lady whispers something to him – you can see her lips moving but don't hear anything – and then the man turns and looks at you. If you have something in your hands right now you would for sure drop it.

Tommy fucking Miller was standing a few steps away from you. He looked older – of course – and his hair was a lot longer than you'd last seen him, the mustache he was sporting suited him. You saw the way he scrunched his brows together – as if trying to categorize you to one of his people – and then you saw the realization cross his eyes. His hands drop to his sides and when you whisper a hushed “Tommy ?” he was right in front of you – hugging you close to his body. The hug was desperate and you felt the tears you held back falling from your eyes – the palms of his hands soothingly caressing your back. After a few minutes or was it seconds he pulls away from you and you have so many questions but none of it comes out of your mouth – the lump in your throat not allowing you to. If he was here – alive and breathing – did it mean Sarah and Joel were here too? Or…No, you couldn't think that way. You had buried the memories of Millers a long time ago – but now, seeing Tommy here? He gave you hope.

“Wow-uh, I’d thought I’d never see you again, Doc.” The small nickname of endearment falling from his lips makes you sob and he softly grabs your elbow so you two could sit at the nearest table – a young woman quickly rushes to your side when Tommy gestures with his hand for her to come and he whispers something in her ear – just now you can see the few people scattered around staring at you curiously.

“Tommy-I-is-is Joel here too? And Sarah.” You grab the ring on your necklace tighter – you've been dreaming of this moment for too long – and he looks at your hand noticing the shiny thing attached to the chain on your neck. The engagement ring Joel proposed with.

“I-uh- I'll tell you everything but you need to eat first, Doc, alright?” You don't feel hungry anymore but you nod – noticing the look in Tommy's eyes makes you uneasy – but he offers you a smile and you offer one right back reaching for his hand – squeezing his hand in yours.

You sit and listen to Tommy talk – you aren't sure if minutes pass or hours – but your eyes nurn from all the crying and you feel your stomach drop with your heart multiple times during Tommy's story telling how he – they – come up here. How Joel was desperate to contact you – you were in Houston on a quick trip with your friends at the time, to look for the wedding dress – seems stupid when you think about it right now. How they killed Sarah – your sweet little Sarah, you thought of her as your own, you've lived with her for almost three years and that girl adored you and you adored her right back – you cannot imagine the pain Joel felt when she was killed right in his arms. Tommy tells you about Joel's suicide attempt too – how he didn't see any purpose in life when both his daughter and fiance were not around anymore, he didn't know if you were still alive. He tells you about his wife, how he got here – how he joined Fireflies for a while and you have the urge to punch him when he says that – you have a distaste for that motherfuckers. He tells you about Ellie – not much though – but enough to figure out Joel cares about that girl a whole lot. And most importantly he announces to you that both of them are here and you almost jump out of your chair to go and find him – but Tommy quickly grabs your elbow and stops you. He tells you about how Joel changed a lot – but so have you. When you tell him that he just shakes his head – you don't understand.

“Doc, I don't know how he will react seeing you after 20 years. He is not the person you once knew. I think you should sleep on it first.”

You want to protest but the sound of the door opening and the rushed call of “Tommy!” stops you. You look at who interrupted you and it's a girl close to Sarah's age. She has short brown hair tightened up in a ponytail and a pair of brown eyes. She has a scar across her brow and when she stops next to Tommy and mutters a quick fuck – you know it's Ellie. Joel's Ellie.

“I heard there's someone new in town and I was super curious – Joel told me to wait for him but then he started playing on his stupid guitar and-” he still plays on a guitar. That pulls a little smile on your face. The girl seems like she didn't even notice you and Tommy wants to open his mouth when Ellie seems finally acknowledges your presence.”Fuck, it's you. You're the new person.” Tommy scolds Ellie when she curses but you just grin at her attitude and seemingly “I want to know and also do know everything ” mindset.

“It's okay, Tommy. God knows I curse a lot too. Hi, Ellie.” She seems confused about how you know her name and you've missed talking to kids – God you have missed your job so much, after all, that's how you and Joel met. Sarah broke her leg and when the nurse told him you could finally see them he was more nervous than a mouse being chased by a cat. He was so worried about Sarah that he didn't even notice you ogled him after you were all done with Sarah – but of course, she did. She was a sweet kind and when they left she muttered to her father he should definitely ask you on a date – he just shook his head and told her not to be silly – you were too pretty for him. Turned out you lived close by and from their visit you've started seeing both Sarah and Joel a lot more outside your work. It was you who finally got the courage to ask the hot single dad out – you will never forget how he gaped at you seemingly not trusting his own voice to answer so Sarah quickly jabbed him in the ribs and said that: “he would very much like that” - he was talking her ear off about you even unknowingly so.

“Okay, how the fuck do you know my name and who are you because it seems you and Tommy are big buddies here. Just so you know he has a wife.” She says matter of factly and you think you like this kid a lot – you can see why Joel does too.

Tommy clears his throat. “Ellie, this is Doc.” He says and he doesn't even notices the fact he called you your nickname – you see the way Ellie's brows scrunch up in confusion. “She's a long lost…family.”

“What, are you like their sister? If so you for sure received all the pretty genes – though Joel never said anything about ever having a sister.” She's a lot more talkative than you thought she would be and you think it might be because she finally has a place that she can call home and not worry about stranger danger – at least not that much.

You chuckle. “No I am…” you look at Tommy to see if you can say who you are – though you don't know if Joel still thinks of you as his fiánce – after all, it's been 20 years. He just nods. “ I am Joel's fiánce” You can hear her gasp and say “holy shit!?” - most of the people in the canteen turn their heads to throw her a nasty look. Well, that much at being discreet

“You are Joel's dead fiánce? You don't seem that dead to me.” She mutters that last sentence as she starts inspecting your face and scrunches her nose at you. “You smell.” She states matter of factly and Tommy scolds her once again but you just shrug your shoulders at him.

“It's true, Tommy. No harm in being honest.” If Ellie knows about you it meant she must know about Sarah too and it also must mean Joel talked about you to her. That fact makes your heart build a little faster. Maybe…maybe he still cares about you – logically you know he does, he was a very loyal man back in the days too – but still, it makes your cheeks heat up.

“Joel will lose his mind! You have to see him like right now!” she sounds enthusiastic and you are too – seeing Joel after 20 years? You've been dreaming of this moment for so long…Tommy interrupts your little fantasy – clapping his hands he throws a look at Ellie and smiles at you.

“I think it's for the best if you showered first, Doc As Ellie said you don't smell so fresh and maybe a reunion with your husband would be a lot happier if you don't make his whole house stink, eh?” You regularly nod and when Tommy says you can shower at his Ellie says she will come with you – she asks you a lot of questions about yourself – where you grew up, what did you do before Outbreak, where did the nickname Doc come from – she says you are super cool when you answer her you were pediatrician before everything went to shit. She asks how you and Joel met and you answer her truthfully – you've never liked lying. Tommy just walks next to you and listens – you look at him from the corner of your eyes and see he is thinking – he always has this look on his face – his brows are scrunched and his lips are set in a thin line. Joel has that look too when he thinks about something or concentrates – it was your favorite quirk of his.

The walk is quick and you meet Mariah – she's sweet – she offers you clean clothes and when she closes the door behind you so you can take a shower – you exhale loudly. Knowing that Joel is here and that you will see him made your stomach twist in anticipation. Ellie hangs back downstairs with Mariah and Tommy and you can hear their hushed voices – you are pretty sure that they are talking about you. You want to quickly hop in the shower but when you do it's like heaven on earth – the first spray of hot water hits your sore muscles and you feel yourself start to relax. You haven't had a hot shower since the beginning of the outbreak and you missed it so badly. You try to scrub all of the grime and blood from your skin and hair but it seems like mission impossible and you stay in the shower for far longer than the 10 minutes you said. When you step out of the shower you look at yourself in the mirror – at your face and the bags under your eyes, at your body scattered with scars and the thought of Joel not liking what he will see quickly flashes through your mind but you push it away just as quickly as it came – this was a different world. You wrap the fluffy towel around yourself and sigh in bliss. The clothes Mariah gave you fit you and maybe it's that much of your style – but they are clean and smell like they were just pulled fresh out of the washing machine. When you come down quickly the banter stops between the three of them and you can hear Ellie say that “great, you finally don't look like shit”. She grabs you by the arm and leaves the house – dragging you through the streets of Jackson. She walks quickly for someone so small and you try to keep up with her – the new winter coat you wear is flowing behind you with the speed you are walking.

When you arrive at the house Joel and Ellie live you try to catch your breath muttering that you are not as young as you used to be – Ellie just rolls her eyes and steps on the porch which creaks under her footsteps. You like the house – at least from the outside – you imagined something like that when you planned to move with Sarah and Joel after you two marry.

“So, we are here. Take off your boots when you come in – Joel hates cleaning up the snow I leave behind when I come in and walk in boots through the house.” You nod but then she is pushing you in and you throw her a scared look.

“You are not coming with me?” You hiss and she just shakes her head as if it was the stupidest thing she has ever heard.

“No. Enjoy your time together. I don't want to hear you two fucking.” And then she shuts the doors behind you with a force you didn't even know a little kid could possess. Right after she do you hear a gruffed “Ellie I told you to wait for me we talked about -” he stops mid-sentence and you feel like all of the air in your lungs leaves your body when comes into the view, He looks older – but somehow more handsome then you've last seen him. The grey in his hair suits him, and the patches in his beard are now more prominent than they were before. He looks good – more than good. You don't know what to do or say. The two of you just keep staring at each other – he looks you up and down and you see his breath becoming quicker. You're the first one to break the silence.

“Hi, Joel. Long time no see.” You laugh quietly and the tears in your eyes leave your vision blurred. You're the one who moves first too and you hug him tightly – he changed over the years, he's softer and he doesn't smell like he did back in the days – but there's something about his presence that feels entirely like Joel and you grab onto his plaid shirt – squeezing it in your fists. You don't want to pull away – you never want to leave him again but when you feel him not responding to the hug you slowly pull away and look into his eyes. He's scanning your face and now you see tears in his eyes as well. The weight of his calloused hands is more than welcome and you close your eyes when you feel his thumbs slowly stroke your cheeks. The small escapes your throat and you nod when he quietly – oh, so quietly murmurs - “you are alive.”. You stay like that for a while – both of you don't dare to move in case this was all just a dream. You want to hug him again – to feel him against you but when you try to pull him closer to you he unexpectedly quickly pulls you away. You look at him confused and he wipes his tears away – he doesn't know how to act around you. It's been too long. He buried the memories of you and never wanted them to resurface. The knowledge that you are alive and here right in front of him hits him like a fright train. It scares the fucking shit out of him.

He clears his throat and avoids your gaze when he asks you if you want to sit – you agree hastily - you didn't take off your boots like Ellie said and you contemplate for a flash of a second that maybe you should - when you see the change in his stance and attitude. He's trying to distance himself from you and you don't understand why – wasn't he glad you were here?

You look around the living room. It's spacey and you hate that small painting of deer above the fireplace. You quickly scan the bookshelf and figure most of the books are Ellies. When you sit on the worn-off couch you expect that Joel will sit next to you – but he moves across the room and keeps standing. You are confused and you don't understand – you never expected your reunion to go this way. It stays quiet and you break the silence once again – he never was much of a talker anyway- you and Sarah kept the house full of laughter and it was never quiet thanks to both of you – and he never thought he would miss it that much.

“I met Ellie. She actually dragged me here.” You chuckle but he doesn't respond – this was such a bad idea. He tears your heart apart with his stoic stance and silence and doesn't even know it. But he can't bring himself to speak or move – he worries if he does you will disappear.

“Okay, I guess I will go.” He wants to tell you to stay here with him. But alas nothing comes out of his mouth – though when he sees the ring on your neck he gasps and you throw him a questioning look.

“You-you kept it after all these years.” You are confused but when you see where his gaze is trained you look at your engagement ring and smile. “Yeah, I-uh, I've never stopped thinking about you or Sarah you know.” He sharply inhales, he wants to tell you so much. “And every time I look at it I hear her annoyed voice scolding you on how you proposed.” You snort and he grins softly remembering your light laughter and Sarah's huffing on how un-romantic he was.

“Babe just another five minutes, please.” You grumble and feel him smile against your skin – his patchy beard scratching your neck. His hands squeeze your hips and your breath hitches when you feel his tongue flatten against your pulse point. He hums against your skin and nips at your skin – you try to push him away but he just grins wider and hovers above you.

“You know you said that six times now come on, want to take you somewhere nice. Promise I will make it worth it.” He wiggles his eyebrows and you giggle at his antics – he was the one who slept in most of the time – but on days like this – where you feel exhausted from the previous night's session of amazing sex – you feel like you could sleep till afternoon. You slowly kiss the bald spot on his beard and one of your hands sneaks to the band of boxers – he grabs your hand quickly and shakes his head at you.

“Na-ah, won't work on me this time, sweetheart. You can't seduce me.” You just hum and kiss the spot between his shoulder blade and neck – gently scraping your hand through his already tousled hair. His eyes flutter close for a moment and it's now your turn to grin against his skin. You know you won.

“Mmm, I don't know but you left your girlfriend pretty unsatisfied last night.” You try to push the smile off your face when he quickly opens his eyes at your words – you know he never backs down from a challenge.

“Oh?” You hum and finally cup his semi-hard cock in your hand. He grunts and you smile, biting your lip when he slowly puts his fingers inside your panties. “So wet for me already baby, was three orgasms last night not enough for you, mhm?” He asks when he pushes two fingers inside of you and you gasp – arching your back and he squeezes one of your breasts – his now hard cock strains against his boxers.

“How do you know I-oh fuck. Didn't fake it?” you grit out when his fingers brush against the spongy spot inside of you – his thumb drawing circles on your clit leisurely. His eyes darken at your question and he hooks the two of his fingers inside of you – it feels too good and all you can do is just moan in pure bliss.

“Oh, believe me, sweetheart, I know. This sweet pussy grips me like a vice when you cum. Guess I need to remind you.” The other hand that was squeezing your tit now goes higher and he strokes your jaw – you grant his access to your mouth and he growls when you bite on his lower lip and your go to the back of your head when he speeds his hand – his tongue sliding into your mouth and when he pulls away you kiss the underside of his jaw.

“Guess you do.” he mumbles something alongside “such a smart mouth” before his hands grab you around your throat and put small pressure on it – you shudder and he just hums when he feels you close. “Gonna cum for me, won't you?” You just nod and when you finally do cum – you bite his shoulder, your nails scraping across his back. He pulls his fingers out of you and sticks them in your mouth – you hum around them and push him so he is the one laying on his back.

“I have to return the favor.” You throw him a cheeky look and he just mutters an “oh god” when you pull him out of his boxers – the tip already red and sensitive, leaking precum out of it. "Guess I will have my breakfast early."

An hour later Sarah is already up and grins at you. You bid her a good morning – you try to look presentable – you've already brushed your teeth, changed and you smile at her when you see that she made pancakes.

“Sooo, do you like the ring?” she asks and you stop pouring coffee into Joel's mug. He throws Sarah a quick look of “don't say another word, please” but she ignores him. “You know, the one dad proposed with?” your go slack-jawed and look at Joel who quickly scrambles to his feet from the chair and pulls you to him.

“What is she talking about, Joel? You ask and he uncertainly smiles and bends one knee – you see the little black velvet box and when he opens it you gasp – the ring inside of it is beautiful – simple and elegant and tears well up in your eyes.

“Oh my god, dad. You said you would propose before the sunset.” Joel shrugs his shoulders and keeps his gaze trained on you.

“That was the plan but were… preoccupied.” He grins at the last word and Sarah mutters a quick “gross” but starts looking for that old stupid camera to make wvideo of the proposal– hoping you would say yes. She thought of you almost like a mother and when Joel told her he wanted to marry you she squealed in delight.

“So whad’ya say, sweetheart? Will you marry me? Even though I am proposing in our kitchen and with my pajamas on.” You nod and he lets out a breath of relief – when he stands up you kiss him passionately.

“You won't get rid of me now that easily, Texas.” You whisper against his lips as he wipes your tears away.

“And I wouldn't have it any other way.” You couldn't wait for the new chapter of your life with Joel and Sarah by your side

Joel stays quiet for a long time after your confession and he almost misses you leaving – but he registers the door shutting softly. He falls onto the floor – putting his hand on his heart which seems like it will fall out of his chest any moment- his breath is quick and he can't seem to calm himself down. His ears are ringing and he registers the flow of tears after they fall on his cheeks and into his mouth – the salty flavor of them sits heavy in his mouth – and he wishes he could be man enough and run after you. But he doesn't – he stays sitting up on his living room floor the face of you haunting his mind alongside with the old memories

Tommy was right. Your fiánce was not the person you once knew. Joel seems to be avoiding you because you've been in Jackson for a week now and didn't see him at all. Not that you minded after seeing his enthusiasm – or rather lack of – at seeing you. You try to not think about it that much and throughout the day you occupy yourself – at night you cry a lot – Mariah always comes to your room and shushes you to sleep or if you are talkative that night she lets you talk. It's like having a girls' night but more…depressing. The people in Jackson are nice and you try to help everywhere you can. Whether it be with kids or at the canteen. Helping with sheep or horses – you often go and visit Buckley – he soothes your ongoing nerves. Joel will have to come out of hiding one day. And you are not ready for that. On the other side Ellie seems to hang with you a lot – the day after your meeting with Joel she almost tackled you to the ground when she forcefully asked what did you do to Joel – you have to give it to her, that girl got spirit and an undying loyal heart like the man she is living with. After trying to explain it to her –it was very hard because she thinks Joel can do no wrong really – and you are not saying he did, she gave in pretty easily and started hanging out with you.

You are staying at Tommy for a while – at least before you decide if you will leave which is very unlikely or they will try to find you another accommodation. She comes there every afternoon and brings her science books – you found an anatomical book in the library one day and kept it with you – and you try and teach her the various Latin words or show her where is what on her body – three days ago you two drew a life-sized human and marked bones on it and such. You've met other people too and learned that the shy cowboy's name was Henry – he asked you out and you admired him for his braveness but you told him you are probably closer to his mother's age than to be his girlfriend.

Tommy went and tried talking to Joel too but you both know how stubborn he can be and when you asked him how did it go he just shook his head low and offered you a sad smile. Today you wanted to help an old lady, Mrs.Grempinks - or something like that – with knitting. Her hands were shaking the past few days and she felt sad – you offered her help and she accepted – she doesn't need to know you do not know how to knit at all. At least it will maybe make her feel better that she is not the only one in the room with poor knitting skills. On the way to her, you come across Ellie and she lets out a relieved sigh when she spots you.

“Here you are I've been looking everywhere for you.” she empathizes the word everywhere and starts dragging you with her – where you aren't sure.

“Hey, Ellie. Slow down. Ellie!” you shriek when you figure out where exactly she is dragging you – to her – Joel's- house and you burrow your heels into the snow-covered ground.

“Joel isn't home and I want to show you something really cool – I've been working on it for the past couple of days after you borrowed me your anatomy book.” You want to protest and you turn around in the direction of Mrs. Grempkin's house but you don't have the heart to tell Ellie that you don't have time and Joel is not home and you would leave soon enough anyways – she will just show you her little project and then it's gonna be as if you never even put your foot in the house again. When she pulls you inside she again quickly closes the door behind you and dread overcomes you – oh no she didn't – she shows you the two keys in her hand and you know the other one is Joels. She locked you out.

“I am sorry but both of you are miserable and you have to talk it out!” There is nothing to talk about with Joel – he doesn't need your presence near him, it's been clear and you mouth a quiet “please, Ellie, don't do this” while you jumble with the handle. It's no use and you sigh thumping your forehead against the door. You quietly take your boots off this time and start looking around the house – looking for Joel to tell him what just happened.

You find him in his workshop – it's nice and you stay in the doorway while looking around. You see the various little wooden figures and you find it cute that he found something he can get lost in. The various guitars on the wall peak your interest – you've always loved when he played and his back is still turned on you while he focuses on his woodwork – you enter the room slowly and when you touch one of his guitars a low “hi” echoes throughout the room. His back is turned still but his hands stopped moving and he is sitting still.

“Didn't know you could hear me.” You say and he chuckles lowly.

“I'd be dead by now if I didn't hear someone sneaking up on me.” He says and you hum acknowledgment – when he finally turns to look at you your breath hitched because he is so effortlessly handsome it hurts. You cross your arms around your chest.

“I wasn't sneaking up on you.”

“Sure you weren't.” He throws you a grin and it's different than the last time you talked – or didn't really – to him. He is more relaxed and he actually looks like he doesn't mind seeing you in his house. It's quiet for a while but not that uncomfortable silence that suffocates. You look at one another and you take him all in – his aquiline nose and his full lower lip, his brown eyes and you look at the dip of his neck – licking your lips. It's suddenly too hot in here with the way his gaze burns into you.

“I am sorry.” He offers and you don't understand what for – or you do – you just want him to expand that sentence because you felt like a fool the last time you were here. “I am sorry for the way I reacted but I never thought I'd see you again and when you just appeared in my house I was overwhelmed with emotions I didn't know I could still feel. After Sarah died I-” He chokes and you are in front of him in a blink of a second – cupping his cheeks and he closes his eyes bathing in your gentle touch which he doesn't deserve - or at least he thinks so

“You don't have to tell me anything. Tommy told me and I-I am sorry what happened to Sarah. And everything you've been through, Joel.” You say and he opens his eyes and shakes his head – none of what happened was your fault and you shouldn't be sorry. He was glad you weren't with him when all of it went to shit because you'd probably be here by now. It's easy to be this intimate with him and you bask in the way he lets you touch – you expect him to pull away like last time – but he doesn't. Instead, he brings his lips closer to yours and searches for your gaze which drops when he licks his lower lip.

“I want to kiss you, sweetheart,” he murmurs and your lips are almost – almost touching when he says so. His forehead is pressed up against yours and your hands that were previously holding his face now move behind his neck – your nails scratch the spot behind his ear gently and he closes his eyes – whether in pure bliss or to hold himself back you don't know – though if its the latter you don't want that. “Need to kiss you,” he adds. You just nod your head in agreement – you wanted nothing more than to kiss him the last time you saw him.

“What are you waiting on then, Texas?” You tease and you feel him smile into the kiss – it's just a gentle press of lips – as if he was testing the waters. One of his hands grabs your hip – squeezing it – and the other moves behind your head and pushes you closer – he needs you closer. The wet press of his lips is more urgent now and his tongue licks your lower lip. You grant him access into your mouth and then the kiss becomes more urgent, more passionate, more desperate – Joel was always a good kisser and you always enjoyed just making out with him late at night to some bad movie that was on the TV. The hand on your hip moves lower and he cups your ass – you moan into his mouth and he hums, the other hand now stroking the hinge of your jaw. Your hands scratch his scalp and he almost but purrs – pulling away from you he plants butterfly kisses across your face.

“Bedroom?” The question seems silly – you need him and if you'd be any younger you'd jump his bones right here on the floor. But you are not so you nod and he pecks your lips quickly before he grabs your hand – squeezing your fingers in his – and leads you to his bedroom. When you enter it he closes the door more forcefully than needed and before you have time to look around he is pushing you onto the bed – your back hits the mattress and he grins – he hasn't seen this sight in over 20 years and he is enjoying every second of it. You sit up and pull him by the collar of his shirt. He is quick with it – his mouth on yours again and his hands start exploring your body – they go from your thighs up to your tummy and then higher – he squeezes your tits – you moan and his hands move higher cupping your cheeks tenderly. He pulls away and moves your hair out of your face.

“Need you so badly.” He pants – and you feel just the same. You feel him start undressing you but you want to make this last as long as possible. You push him away and he seems confused before you are pushing him on his back – your sit on his lap and you feel how hard he is under his jeans – you test the waters and grind down on him – your hands on his chest and he really wants to keep his eyes open but the feel of you on him makes him feel like he's fuckin teenager again that will bust his load into his pants any second. “Fuck, gonna make me cum before the real fun even begins and I am not young as I used to be. If that happens I will have to eat you out at least three times.” You grin and bend down to kiss his neck – your tongue leaving hot trails in its wake. He sits up with you and his hands fly to your lower back to support you. He surges forward – his tongue exploring your mouth, mapping your teeth with it and when you feel his hands trying to take your shirt off – you tug him by the hair roughly – his hips bucking up to meet yours as he moans your name brokenly.

“Slow down, baby. Want to appreciate you.” You push his chest so he will be laying again – he wants to protest but you put one of your fingers to his lips. The look he gives you is downright sinful before he is sucking it into his mouth – his teeth nipping it and you can't look away from his advances. His tongue peaks out and you feel the way he swirls it around your digit just like used to when he ate you out. You moan brokenly and put another one there and he bites into them softly. The small butterfly kisses you leave on his scar from his suicide attempt makes him drop your fingers from his mouth as he groans loudly – he feels so fucking appreciated and loved at this moment that it makes his head dizzy. “Need to see you, baby. Sit up.” He does and you unbutton his shirt slowly one by one while he kisses your jaw and your neck – sucking at it once in a while his tongue flattens out against your pulse point where he leaves a mark.

“Fuck, want you to take your shirt off too.” You don't have time to comply before he is pulling it over your head and you are not wearing any bra – the one Mariah gave you did not fit you – and he immediately reaches for them. He pinches one of your nipples while he sucks on your other one and you throw your head back – it always felt this good with him. Sex with him was easy and he was a generous lover. The only man that had ever made you cum. When pulls away he frowns when he sees the deep red scar close to your heart.

“Someone stabbed me but as you can see I am alive and well. Don't worry about it, We all have our own scars.” Your thumb slides across the one next to his temple and he nods – he is angry at himself though. Maybe if he was with you it wouldn't happen. Maybe if he'd try to look for you harder. Maybe…”Hey, Joel. You still with me?” You stroke his bicep and he nods before you peck him gently. “Strip out of these, will you? Want to suck your dick.” You pat his jeans-clad thigh and his jaw rocks forward. You sit on the bed and he makes quick work of his jeans and his boxer – his cock is bobbing with need and you open your mouth awaiting.

The first lick sends him into overdrive and he grips your hair and tries telling you to take him deeper – just a little bit deeper. You drool and the spit starts to cover his balls – it's messy and the sounds he makes sound like straight up from porn. His head is thrown back and he gets lost in the feel of you – your mouth – and he can't believe you are here with him. He feels his balls pull up tighter and he pulls it out quickly before he is bending down to kiss you – he doesn't register the surprised sound you make when he pushes his tongue almost all the way back down your throat.

You taste like him because you are his, his, his and the growing need he has for you makes him almost rip your new pants before he is working his fingers inside of you – the familiar wetness and tightness make him feel like he is 30 again – and you cry out. He drills into you and snarls when your nails dig into his forearm, his nose bumps against yours and he wants to kiss you but he concentrates on making you cum because he wants to be inside of you. To mark you as his. His to kiss and hiss to make you cum and his to love and his, his, his. He searches for that spot and his other hand sneaks onto your inner thigh – when he finds it – he can hear it from the high-pitched moan that you let out. He smacks you onto your inner thigh and you jump forward and try to get away from him. It's too much – his fingers, his groans and talks and his tongue that find its way into your mouth. He's too much and he can feel you are almost there – almost. He grabs your throat and his eyes watch your Adam's apple bob – his thumb putting slight pressure on it. The squelching sounds of your pussy make him double his efforts and he can feel you getting closer and closer with every pass of his fingers through your walls – your pleas echoing through the room. He knows you need more and he grins menacingly when he sees how your pussy glistens with your juices and soak his hand.

“Fuck, sweetheart look at you. Soaking me. You want to cum?” He knows you do and he is downright cruel when he slows down and you sob because you want to cum – you nod and he is not happy with that – swatting you against your inner thigh once again before repeating that question.

“Yes, yes, Joel! I want to cum, please make me cum!” You feel on a verge of tears and he kisses you softly before he continues his previous efforts – his thumb now circling your clit and it's the additional stimulation you needed. He curses when he feels you squeeing him and he works you through it – your vision goes white and all you can think about is Joel and how good he is – before you come back down and he is still working his way inside of you and suddenly its too much – you try to push him away but the hand on your thigh just grips you harder – the blunt nails of his digging into your thigh.

“Please, Joel, Too much, it's too much!” You cry out but it's like he can't hear you and he bites your lower lip, his fingers never stopping and you can feel him pulling another orgasm out of you – you can feel him grin against your mouth and murmuring “that's it, such a good girl for me, sweetheart” before you are cuming again. Your legs shake and the moans you let out die down when he puts his coated fingers of your cum in your mouth. Your eyes roll to the back of your head – he is kissing you and then telling you to “share with him” and it's so fucking nasty – a string of saliva connecting you both before he is wiping his mouth. You are sedated and when he reaches for something in his bedside table you don't really care. The sound of foil tearing makes you open your eyes and you see how he pulls the condom on his dick before he is crawling to you.

“Come on, sweetheart. You gonna ride me.” He says and you don't feel like you have that much of a choice – he is pulling you on top of him and before you know it he notches the head of his dick between your folds. You grab the base of him and slowly sink down on him – you forgot how fucking thick and big he was and you need a moment before you start moving. Your muscles are sore and your throat is dried up from all the moaning and screaming but when you look down to see Joel's blissed-out expression – you start to move slowly. He lets you ride him at your own pace – you are the one in control now and he's here only for the right. He strokes his thumbs o your sides and then opens his eyes he feels like he will come right there and then. Your tits bounce with every pass of his cock against your walls and the way your head is thrown back and your throat on full display – his fingers twitch as he has the urge to bring you by your throat and kiss you.

The leisurely pace only lasts for a while before you can feel another orgasm build inside of you – the hair on the base of his cock scratch your clit deliciously. You dig your nails into his shoulders – one of your hands grabbing his jaw when you kiss him – he lets you and his hands move from your hips to your ass – squeezing the flash in his palms. You moan when you feel one of his hands sneak toward your clit but you push him away – breaking from the kiss.

“I am the one that is now in control, Texas.” The smirk you give him makes his cock twitch and he nods – his Adam's apple bobbing when he gulps and you til his chin up as you sink your teeth gently into it. He holds onto you tighter – your pace unfaltering and he wants to cum – needs to – but not before you. His heels dig into the mattress and you pull back to stop moving as your hips start to sway in a figure of eight. It does nothing for him and he whines – whines – in protest. You tell him to “shut up” because you are so so fucking close and that's when he grits his teeth together – his patience runs thin. His hands grab the chain with his ring on it – the only thing you are wearing – and he pulls you towards him by it. The look you throw him is absolutely wrecked and when you are close to his mouth – you need to kiss him, want to taste him – he pulls his head away from you to put the ring between his teeth. That alone almost makes you cum and you can't look away from him – even when he grabs you by the flash of your ass – and start sinking you down on him. You are completely mesmerized by the ring in his mouth and before you know it you are cuming – he slaps your ass when you do and you jolt forward – the ring falling from his mouth when he tangles his tongue with yours.

He fucks you through it and he sits up – his heels planting into the mattress so he can chase his own orgasm – he puts the ring into your mouth now and if he could he would take a picture of you like this – his ring between your teeth while he fucks you silly and your gorgeous body putty in his hands. His balls slap against the meat of your thighs and he puts his forehead on your chest – you can feel the small droplets of his sweat roll down his forehead. He pants and you know he is close – his pace now frantic as he kisses your chest. His lips make their way to your throat and every pass of his cock makes your walls twitch. You feel every vein of his and the head of him pushes against your g-spot. You start meeting his thrusts – pulling him closer to your neck as the only thing he can now do is groan and whine. He can feel your quick pulse and the way your fingers tangle in his locks as you tug him by it – you are overstimulated but he doesn't want this to stop. Never wants this to stop.

“Come on, baby. Want you to cum in me,” You whine and he shakes his head – he doesn’t want to, he doesn't, he doesn't…and then he is cumming as he empties his seed into the condom. He thrusts up at you a few times as he pushes himself through the afer shocks – you can feel him twitch in you before his body goes limp and you fall on him. He strokes your shoulder blades and you listen to his slowing heartbeat – your fingers drawing little hearts on his chest. He slowly pulls out of you and grips the condom by the base of it to tie it off and he throws it into the trash can next to his bed. He pulls you closer to him and you hum – slowly drifting off to sleep exhausted and worn out.

“Love you, Joel.” You say against his neck when you kiss him there and his heart swells up at your confession. He unclasps the chain from your neck and pulls the ring on your finger as he admires it.

“Love you too, baby.” You almost don't hear him when he whispers it against your lips – but you don't need him to say it – after all Joel is a man of actions and not words. And you are perfectly fine with that.

#joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #tlou #the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #joel tlou #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal ff #pedro pascal fanfiction #tlou smut

[yan-lorkai]

Please may I have a black butler headcanon of Sebastian with a S/O who is a literal cat magnet and cats pretty much always come to her for affection and love. Cats probably have a sensor raider when it comes to humans. Kinda Yandereish but just fluffy headcanons.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Cutest rq I ever received ngl, I was imagining reader playing with the cats and things like that and Sebastian looking at them with so much adoration in his eyes wjdwoldwls. I loved this, hope you like! (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

* Warnings: Yandere content but its pure fluffy, really.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Cats seems to follow you anywhere. Why? How? You don't know but they always come to you wanting to be petted and to cuddle. They like to follow you around, they like when you play with them and if you tried to bathe them, they wouldn't even run away. Again, how and why do they like you so much? No idea, they just do.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You like their company though, they're funny and chaotic sometimes. But you love them as much as they do. But you know someone who also love cats? Yes, him; Sebastian Michaelis. It's not uncommon to feel his eyes on you but are they really on you or on the cats that are following you here and there? You don't know.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ The answer it's both. He's both watching you with great interest, seeing how you play with the kittens but also admiring all the cats that surround you, some cuddling your chest, others on your lap and your side, all of them purring and pretty much relaxing in your presence while you do your things.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He knows that if he gets closer the cats will move away, but he can't help but hold one of them on his lap while he plays with it, not caring about the feline's claws trying to hit him. He feels at peace holding it, soothing it gently, stroking behind its ears as he coos and makes small talk with you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You are like a parent to all those cats so he co-parent with you, buying tons of toys and food for them, helping you clean and play with them when he has time. Aside from this, he also takes the opportunity to swept you off your feet, cooking dinner for you, helping you on your errands, even massaging your shoulders when you feel too tense. Small gestures to make him appear good looking in your eyes

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Sebastian tries to understand why cats like you but he can't help being mesmerized by you as much as they are, wanting nothing more than to hold you and never let go. And if you lives nearby or works for Ciel, he do tries to sneak all your cats inside the manor.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You and him taking care together of any preggo mama cat, omg <3

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You and him name every single kitten that was born, some names are normal, some you two make up and he make it extra silly to make you laugh. He loves your laugh and smile, he isn't so subtle as he likes to think. You also can probably figure his feelings after awhile.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Your cats love him and people do say that cats only trust in trustworthy people. Sebastian is trustworthy in your eyes, he does everything to make you feel loved and taken care of.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You beat him and ask to court him before he can, gifting him a ring that reassembles a cat. Sebastian normally doesn't wear any jewelry but your ring? He wears it on his finger all the time to show off and he takes such good care of it. He also likes to call your cats your kids. How scandalous, you two have so many kids even before marriage 🤭

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You don't know it but Sebastian train each and every cat you got to attack anyone who tries to talk to you, only exception being your relatives and close friends. Because of this and because people like to gossip, you're known as the cat magnet and that talking to you is inherently bad as anyone who tries ended up being bitten, scratched and chased by your cats and you are left wondering why they react like this. Nothing you do can possibly stop them so you resign yourself to spend your free time at home. And with Sebastian, of course.

#yandere sebastian michaelis #yandere sebastian michaelis x reader #yandere sebastian x reader #yandere sebastian #yandere kuroshitsuji #sebastian x reader #sebastian x y/n #sebastian x you #sebastian michaelis x reader

[corazondebeskar-reads]

no loyalty in the apocalypse

dark!Joel Miller x f!reader

originally for Febuwhump 2024 Day 17 - hostage situation | Febuwhump masterlist

words: 578

summary: Your group falls victim to Joel Miller's hunters.

warnings: dark, dead dove do not eat, non-con, past non-con, hostage is not quite accurate but we'll pretend, captivity, dark!Joel, raider/hunter!Joel, Joel Miller is Not a Nice Man, canon-typical violence, gun violence, descriptions of murder, oral (m receiving), forced oral, ambiguous ending, dick sucking at gunpoint (but no gun play), yet another one I may return to some day idk, no use of y/n, joel can pick reader up (but imo, joel can pick anyone up. this is game joel, he's a brick fuckin house.)

dividers by @saradika-graphics

They’ve got you lined up on your knees, hands behind your head. Well, they have what’s left of you. 

You’d never seen Joel Miller or his crew before. Obviously, because you’re still alive. And he hadn’t exactly introduced himself, but he didn’t really need to. 

His brutality and bloodlust preceded him. 

“…so happens, I’ve got a coupla openings. Anyone here whose loyalty ain’t?”

Beside you, Paul raises his shaking hand. 

“Yeah? You ready to turn on your boss?”

“Yes, sir,” Paul says immediately. 

Several of Joel’s men snicker. You feel the spray hot on your side before the crack registers in your ringing ears. 

Oh god.

Joel’s wearing a lazy, crooked grin and strolls casually down the line. He tips your chin up with the hot barrel of the gun, and you whimper. 

“You his girl?”

You don’t want to speak but you’re afraid to jostle the weapon, so you whisper, “Yes.”

“He disloyal like that to you?”

You really don’t mean to, but you scoff a little. “Was his girl, not his girlfriend.”

“Oh,” his grin curls. “So I just shot your master. Guess that makes you mine, now.”

You shudder and stay quiet. 

He doesn’t like that. The gun drags up the line of your jaw to your temple. “Rather follow him to hell, sweetheart?”

“No, sir,” you whisper. 

“Go on then. Show me if you’re gonna be worth it.”

He doesn’t lower the gun. 

Your hands shake as you bring them to his belt buckle and pry it loose. You can do this. You’ve done worse for Paul. Same shit, different dick. 

When his cock springs free, you can’t help it. You gasp. 

Joel laughs. “Guessin’ I’m a little bigger than you’re used to?”

You nod. 

“Get chokin’ on it, then.”

And, god help you, you do. Not that you think any god will help you. If they were going to, they would have done it by now. If they gave a shit.

It’s clear that no one gives a shit.

So you give him your best. You take the fat, drooling head in your mouth and suck, swirling your tongue and hollowing your cheeks. You don’t move your hands from behind your head.

You get the feeling he isn’t one for the build up, so you try to acclimate to his girth as fast as possible. He’s about as long as Paul but twice as thick. When you start choking on him, as requested, he holds you there with a hand on the back of your head. After that, he picks up the control and fucks into your mouth.

You’ve gotten pretty good at taking it, so you do. He gives you no warning before he spills down your throat, but doesn’t seem to mind that you cough and sputter after, gasping.

“Good enough to buy you a couple of days,” he says with a shrug. He finally withdraws the gun from your head. “Get the fuck up.”

He doesn’t wait for you, just drags you by the collar of your shirt and lets you stumble to follow. He shoves you up against the cold side of a truck, face pressed against the passenger window, and ties your hands behind your back. 

Satisfied, he hoists you up and drops you into the bed of the truck. You scream a little in surprise and a lot in fear. 

“Shut the fuck up,” he barks. “It ain’t a long ride. Not a fucking sound, or I’ll dump ya in the river instead. Got it?”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #dark!joel #dark!joel miller #raider!joel #hunter!joel #dark fic #dead dove fic #febuwhump

[babushkatty]

Tranquil SAGAU - Part 5

-> Part 1

-> Part 4

-> Part 6

Crepus Ragnvindr had been ready to die.

Ursa the Drake was a living legend amongst people of Mondstadt, a terror beyond comprehension that left destruction and death in its' wake for a millenia, with no equal to threaten it.

Utterly uncontested and utterly beyond control.

The only way to survive Ursa the Drake was to never cross path with it at all, he knew that, but it did nothing to quell his resolve.

Crepus had already been reaching for his Delusion, ready to lay down his life to protect the caravan, to protect his son with everything he had despite how hopelessly outmatched he was, despite swearing to himself to never use the Delusion at all--

His sons were worth so much more than any personal values he swore to uphold.

But he hesitated.

He didn't know why he hesitated. Ursa was right there, playing around with his son like he wasn't one of the strongest Knights of Favonius Mondstadt had, like he wasn't one of the strongest people he knew, like he wasn't trying his best to protect everyone, despite being so terribly young and undeserving of such a heavy burden that should have been his instead. The drake could have chosen any moment to get serious, to stop playing with its' food, to kill his son without even so much as trying, so why was he hesitating?

Something deep inside told him to wait.

He didn't know if it was mere instinct, if it was a higher power staying his hand or something else entirely -- but he hesitated just long enough to hear a roar from the distance.

He had to dig his feet into the ground and brace himself so the sudden storm wouldn't sweep him off his feet as it did Diluc.

His eyes watered as he tried to keep them open.

Ursa screeches a horrible sound that has his ears ringing as a dragon the color of the sky itself landed roughly on the drake -- pinning it to the ground even while it trashed and tried to throw the dragon off.

Faintly, he remembered the tales his Opa shared over a candle when they both couldn't sleep. Stories of a brilliant azure dragon blessed by Anemo itself, a dear friend of Lord Barbatos that has supposedly fallen when valiantly defending Mondstadt from a danger many centuries past.

And then a person he hadn't noticed beforehand at all slipped down from the dragon's (one of the Four Winds, he couldn't help but think hysterically, high on adrenaline and hope both) back, looking as casual as casual one could be despite the grand entrance and the dangerous drake still wiggling around underneath the dragon.

Off-handedly, he noted that they looked like they rolled out of bed and didn't bother changing. It was such a contrast against the majesty of the dragon it brought a little clarity to his mind and finally let him think a little.

He didn't reach for the Delusion again.

The conversation between the two flew over his head almost entirely as he worked on centering himself. He caught bits and pieces, of course, something about stalling and about being able to put Ursa down permamently (which he noted to himself so he could ask later, far too shaken to really focus on it now, but knowing it was too important to Mondstadt, to himself, to the safety of his sons to simply forget).

He only really got back to himself when he was mid-handshake with the mystery dragon raider, a wave of calm washing over him and the fog he hadn't even realized was muddling his senses lifting from his mind. The weird feeling of hesitation that stopped him from using the Delusion seemed to almost purr at him in satisfaction like a smug cat, before it slipped away like the wind.

He couldn't help but grin brightly at the newly introduced (Name), feeling an invisible weight lift off his shoulders.

The Knights of Favonius came with Kaeya at their helm soon after, most likely having assembled in a hurry after getting Diluc's hawk and hurrying all the way here as much as the horses and the armor allowed.

Kaeya was frazzled, worried and looking like he'd collapse from relief when he saw everyone was fine.

Kaeya was fine.

Healthy.

Uninjured.

Logically, he knew he would be fine. He knew Kaeya was far from the danger and that he was surrounded by other talented, strong Knights, but the physical reminder as he hugged both his sons tightly was appreciated.

Crepus Ragnvindr had been ready to die, but he was glad it hadn't come to that.

He had a feeling that had it not been for (Name), things would not have ended so favorably though.

A feeling of warm, soft gratitude swelled up in his heart and he couldn't help but invite them for dinner to show his thanks, at least partly. A bit of food hardly made a dent in the debt he owed them, but it was a start.

He'd think how to possibly thank the Dragon of the East at a later date.

Perhaps Elzer or Adeline would have some ideas?

☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ* ✨ Author Note✨

Some Crepus POV as a lil treat for everyone, to show that this truly isn't a cult fic. There is no obsession, no immediate recognition, just a bunch of really nice feelings when you're around All-Mother.

Though Crepus was a bit busy freaking out about Ursa and his sons and the assumed KIA Dvalin popping back into existence only to skeedadle immediatelly after (honestly, we should all aspire to be like Dvalin, what a damn diva), so those nice feelings didn't exactly get a front row performance XD

Guess who's gonna be really suspectible to All-Mother's presence? There are multiple answers, one of them we've already met!

Well, we met two, but one was more prevalent. Semantics, semantics~ *waving hand dismissively*

I'm getting a lot of comments and repost tags and I love each and every single one, I promise I read everything even if I don't respond to it ❤✨

✨Taglist✨

@game-savvy @chaoticfivesworld @mmeatt @avalordream @ymechi @andromeda-gay @naynayaa @undecidingfate @thedevioussmirk @tumb3ld0wn

Yell at me if I missed you!

#genshin sagau #sagau x reader #sagau #genshin impact #x reader #genshin x reader #isekai #x gender neutral reader #x gn reader #x gn y/n #self aware genshin

[acapelladitty]

Smoke Them All

Pairing: Cooper Howard/F!Reader

Fic Masterlist

Link to AO3

Summary: Not content with the litany of bruises and bite marks which he has littered across your skin, Cooper decides on something a little more permanent. (2.2k words)

(tw for: spanking, rough play, branding, fingering, orgasm, pain kink, dom/sub dynamics, subspace, allusions to cannibalism, cum eating, mild aftercare)

You hear the swish of his hand as it arcs through the air a split moment before the connecting smack rings out loudly and fresh fire flares in your unprotected ass.

"That's eight, little killer." Cooper muses as his open palm comes to settle against your skin, the flesh feeling raw and heated due to his vicious strikes, and his fingers trace the unseen outlines of his hand prints as they litter your ass. "You're almost warmed up for the main event."

Anxiety laced with a wicked arousal floods your groin, your cunt feeling slippery and neglected as you consider the small metal brand which sits in the nearby fire - the end balanced where the fire was at it hottest to ensure a clean imprint.

The brand had been his idea, a casual and sleazy comment given life by your own curiosity, but the spanking was just an added boon and Cooper was never one to deny himself the chance to dole out a little bit of good ol' fashioned discipline when the mood suited him.

So here you were, braced over his lap as the evening moon shone high in the sky. The surrounding area was dead of life, raiders and monsters having been long snuffed out, and any potential new onlookers had been provided their chance to scarper at the presence of the infamous ghoul. It was luck that the night air wasn't too chilled, not that it would have made a difference to either of you as you set about your combined goal.

The first few strikes had been pretty manageable as Cooper targeted different parts of your ass, quickly and efficiently trying to cover and redden up as much skin as possible while his other hand pinned your lower back to his knees. His tattered jacket flared out from behind him, the ratty ends touching the ground just beside your own fingers as you pressed them against the ground to keep balance.

Cooper, however, hadn't been as impressed with your easy management of his punishment.

C'mon now, little songbird, I want to hear that lovely voice.

And his efforts had quickly doubled as he brought his hand down with much more violence, the next two strikes coming in rapid succession as they glanced off the fullest part of your ass and stole the breath from your lungs. It was like being struck by metal. Hard. Unforgiving. And so fucking good.

He got the reaction he wanted as your playful groans dissolved into pathetic squeals when his fingers groped at the stinging flesh, your knees pulling together as you smeared the growing wetness that was developing between your thighs. The following hits were much the same, his accurate hand having targeted the same patch of skin until you could feel the heat buzzing free of the abused flesh as small whimpers stole from your throat freely.

"You're lucky I ain't using my belt, darling." Cooper growls as he disrupts your thoughts, tugging at your hair to force your head back enough to gaze up at him. "Cause the welts that leaves would paint you purple for a week and give you a harsh reminder of it every time that fine ass wanted to sit down anywhere."

"Yes, sir." Fumbling over the words, your fingers scratch against the dirt of the ground as your cunt feels swollen and painfully abandoned. You swear you could feel yourself dripping with mess but since he hadn't commented on it yet, maybe not.

"Might even use the buckle." Your scalp burns from his rough grasp and the extension of your neck makes breathing difficult as he continues. "Let it tear strips off you until you're a sobbing mess just crying out and begging for me to let up on you. You want that?"

Rubbing your thighs together at the open threat, you gasp and whine under his grip. From this position, you are barely able to make out his expression as your vision is also limited by the unshed tears which gather in your eyes, vision blurring due to the pain and frustration.

"N-no, sir."

"Good answer, darlin', cause i don't want to delay the next part any longer than we need to. You think you're ready for it?"

His hand releases your head and you nod frantically as fear lances your heart. A little masochism was fine by you, hot as fuck actually as it made the pleasure all the sweeter, but the brand would hurt like hell. Your heart beating a messy tune in your chest, your breath stutters as you feel him leaning over you to snatch up the brand from the fire.

"You gonna lie there like a good girl while I fix and mark you up? Hmm?" Cooper asked, his hand spreading your ass as textured fingers roll over the area he intends to mark on your right ass cheek. "I've got the rope ready to go if you can't hold still and let me make a clean print."

"Do it, Cooper." You gasp out, body shaking with anticipation as your eyes squeeze shut, preparing for the hurt to come as your hands visibly shake against the dusty ground. "Make me yours. Only yours. Make it so that everyone in the wastelands can see who the fuck they're messing with if they mess with me."

"Language." Tutting his disapproval with a playful hypocrisy, the rough excitement in his voice speaks of just how eager he was for you to have this mark. Well, that and the way that his cock remains pressing between you, the rock-hard length digging into your stomach with every slight movement as he speaks again.

"After this you're mine. Anyone else touches you then I take their throat. No mercy."

"No mercy." You repeat, almost a hypnotic babble as your breathing grows more and more erratic and anxious.

"I don't claim much in the wastelands, darlin', so you be good to me and I'll make sure that you never get the chance to forget what it means, you hear?"

"Goddamn, Cooper. Just do it! Mark me, brand me, give me something. Just- FUCK!"

It was nothing compared to the previous spanking.

The pain is indescribable as the metal presses harshly against your skin, searing his initials into the reddened flesh of your ass. You bury your scream in your forearm, tasting blood as your teeth clamp together roughly around your own flesh, and it's only his hand - hard as steel and twice as unforgiving - which prevents you from bucking in place to avoid the horrid pain.

Darkness dances in your vision for a moment as a genuine fear that you're going to pass out clenches your heart but it sweeps through rapidly, leaving you teetering on the edge of consciousness for only a few seconds.

You don't feel the brand pull free as the metal essentially kills off your nerve endings, the damage welcome as it dulls the initial shock. Rather, the initial sear is quick to settle into a vicious pain which is more like a deep, heated ache that sits beneath your skin.

"Cooper." You howl, fingers scrambling against his closet leg as you desperately seek something to cling onto as a wave of nausea rolls through your stomach. "Hurts."

Violently sobbing at the residual ache, you remain pinned in place as his free hand audibly drops the brand to the sandy floor before his fingers return to your ass. You can't feel him ghosting his digits along the wound but you're fairly certain that's what he's doing as a rumble of approval slips free of his chest.

"I know it hurts like a motherfucker." Cooper exhales, his roughened voice holding a giddiness as he watches you struggle to keep control of yourself. "But you did so well, girlie. Took it better than most would and I think that deserves a reward."

His fingers follow the curve of your ass to drop and press insistently at your hole - two digits sinking deep as they quickly provide a little relief to the aching neglect which your cunt was experiencing.

Audibly delighted with his markings, Cooper's tone is as predatory as ever as he slowly pumps his fingers into your cunt - following a pattern he knows drives you wild as he continues.

"Smells good too. Ain't gonna lie. Wish I'd taken a strip for myself before I burned it away."

Shivering at that, you moan out something that may have been an encouragement or a denial - your brain too fuzzy to make sense of it as his textured fingers rub along your walls.

"Coop-Cooper." You stutter out his name, sharp breaths feeling hot in your lungs as the adrenaline flushing through your veins - made all the worse by the dual sensations of dull pain and growing pleasure which wracked your lower half - causes a light-headedness which leaves you slack against his knees. "Touch me more. Make the pain go away."

"Can't make it go away, sweetheart. But I can make you forget about it for a minute or two."

With two fingers still curled within you, his thumb slides up your slickened folds until it grazes your clit. Body tensing, you sigh and groan as he teases the sensitive nub by gently circling his thumb across it. It didn't help that the leathered skin was so much rougher than a typical man's and the added sensation of it was enough to make you forget the burn of your ass as you focus on it.

His fingers are skilled and he is quick to target all those sweet, wicked little spots that make your mouth dry and your soaked cunt clench around his probing digits; that bastard thumb of his never letting up its teasing pressure on your clit as he strokes along the engorged nub with a lazy enjoyment. Adrenaline making every nerve feel heightened, your earlier neglect and enjoyment of his hand bring you close to the edge with an embarrassing speed.

"Such a tight little thing." Cooper grunts, his groin grinding against your stomach lightly as he plays you like a fiddle while taking care not to damage the fresh brand. "Can barely get my fingers out with you gripping at them like this. You'd have thought by now I'd have loosened you up at least a little."

Unable to speak, your reply is a mess of jerking nods and gasping pants. But he seemed to catch the jist of your agreement and it causes a low chuckle to rumble through his body.

Slipping a third finger in, the added stretch was all it took to have your toes curling against the air as the building tension in your body snapped into rolling waves of pleasure. Your cunt clenches around his fingers, pulling them deeper as they continue to rub against your sweet spot, drawing your orgasm out until your limbs felt tight and your throat started to burn from the constant whining and pleas that trickle free of it.

Shuddering and feeling faint, you lay limply against his knees, feet touching the ground as you actively fight the euphoric nausea which makes your body feel light and far off. It was too much and instead of facing the aches and pleasures, you allow the weariness to slip within your very bones.

A lurid suckling noise makes your head turn up to the side and you catch the sight of Cooper pulling his fingers free of his mouth, the digits slickened by both your mess and his spit as he messily cleans them off.

"Sweet as honey. Ain't nothing like it." He mutters, mostly to himself, before tilting his head down to meet your eye. "You alright down there? Not gonna pass out on me are you?"

Sighing out as darkness touches at the edge of your vision, you give him a soft smile - bottom lip only slightly trembling as you answer. "Sleepy."

He's surprisingly careful as he picks you up with his impressive strength, hands wrapping around your upper body to right you to your feet - shaking legs barely able to hold even your limited weight - before he deposits you in his lap. Angling your body atop his so that the pressure of your ass on his lap is far away from the fresh brand, your head presses against his clothed chest and you inhale the coppery scent that clings to him like it was a lifeline.

"Then sleep and I'll keep the beasts at bay."

Cooper speaks lowly, the words washing over you skin like a soothing blanket. "Here." His hands wrap the edges of his leather jacket around your sides, the material not enough to cover you completely - not even close - but you appreciate the gesture regardless.

In the warm night air, your thighs coated in the mess of your release and your ass throbbing will a dull ache that was going nowhere any time soon, you focus on the interesting sounds which roll through Cooper's chest as you press your ear against his frayed shirt and allow fatigue to finally claim you.

#branding my beloved but oooooh nastay #fallout #fallout 2024 #cooper howard #the ghoul #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard x you #ghoul x reader #ghoul x you #cooper howard smut #fallout smut #fallout prime #walton goggins

[orphicdreamers-wp]

No Caller ID — Travis Kelce

Summary: In which you find your phone ringing at 3 in the morning

Content Warning; drunken phone calls, mentions of Christmas 2023 Chiefs Vs Raiders game, mentions of the Jan 21st Bills Vs Chiefs game, mentions of Travis and Taylor, moving on fast, breakup, Travis being a shitty boyfriend, angst, emotional cheating if you squint, physical cheating(Travis and reader kiss while in diff relationships) , reader moves on with Dylan O’Brien

Pairing: Travis Kelce & Model! Reader

December 26th 2023.

A small yawn emitted from your lips as you sat up in your bed. You reached your freshly manicured red nails on your beside table for your ringing cell phone. You finally grasped the phone as a new call began to filter through. It was an blocked number which caused you to frown slightly as you pressed the phone to your ear, “Hello?” Travis’ familiar voice filled your ears, “Hi pretty.” You frowned at the football players drunken slur, “Why are you calling me Trav?” Travis hummed softly as he glanced down at the blonde woman sleeping in bed next to him, “I miss you angel.” You sat up as a frown tugged at your lips, “You have a girlfriend Trav. A beautiful girlfriend who adores you.”

Travis slowly moved from the bed to avoid startling Taylor awake as he moved from Taylor’s bedroom to her living room, “She’s not you angel, she’s great but she’ll never be you.” You shook your head as you pulled your sweater closer to your body, “Dude, every news outlet is reporting you two are looking at houses together, talking about kids and marriage. I cannot be the girl who takes any Taylor Swift’s happy ending. I won’t be that person.” Travis sighed as he leaned into the couch further, “I had a really shitty game tonight. I wish you could have been there for me.”

You awkwardly smiled at his change of topic, “I watched the game. You played fine Trav. You aren’t the backbone of the team. No matter how well you play on your own, you can’t impact the entire team’s ability. It’s not on you.” Travis hummed, “Are you excited for Fashion Week?” You hummed as you took a sip of your water, “I have a Vogue event the first week of the new year. I’m also hosting the Golden Globes so I’m pretty excited about where my career is now.” Travis hummed as he stroked Meredith’s fur, “So no one special?” You frowned slightly at the hint of amusement in his tone, “I’ve gone on a few dates. I’ve been seeing a guy for about a month.”

Travis hummed, “I saw. What was his name, Dylan something? I saw some paparazzi photos.” You hummed, “O’Brien. I’m surprised your girlfriend hasn’t said anything she and Dylan are pretty close.” Travis let out a harsh sigh, “Whatever, there’s no way he’ll be good enough for you.” You scoffed under your breath, “Well, this was a refreshing conversation. Goodnight Travis.” Travis stammered as you were about to hang up, “I’m sorry I called. I shouldn’t have.” You hummed slightly as you heard Taylor’s muffled voice on the other side of the call, “You’re right Travis you shouldn’t have called.”

Taylor yawned softly as she emerged from the bedroom to find her boyfriend engrossed in a phone call, “Trav what’s going on?” The football player smiled kindly at her, “Don’t worry. It was my dad, I forgot how late it was. Go back to sleep.” Taylor smiled down at Travis, “Come back to bed with me.” Travis pressed a kiss to her lips, “I’ll be in soon.” Taylor retreated to her room as Travis opened his instagram to your page.

Instagram!!

yourusername; a good ending to this year💕

dylanobrien; the prettiest model ever

— yourbrother: dyl has top tier rizz 😆

user3929; dylan and y/n is almost as iconic as travis and taylor

— user493: i love this bc travis and y/n broke up like 2 months before trav and tay were spotted out together and dyl was in the atwtmv mv

taylorswift; iconic couple!!

kendalljenner: mom and dad?? is that you?

— yourusername: i miss you kenny💕

haileybieber: noo!! my wife has a boyfriend?

— yourusername: my girlfriend has a husband??

zendaya: my girl🥹🥹

— yourusername: my z💕💕💕

sydneysweeney; your so beautiful y/n

— yourusername: i love you syd!! so grateful to know you💕💕

January 22nd 2024

A small groan elicited from Dylan’s lips as he rested his arms across your waist while the two of you tried to sleep. Dylan had grown up in New York and you had grown up in Buffalo so he practically begged you to go to the Chiefs vs Bills game the night before. You reluctantly agreed, as it would be the first Chiefs game you went to since you and Travis broke up. You’d been with Travis since his rookie year in the NFL so it was hard for you to go from being at almost every game to none.

Something had gotten leaked to a media outlet about you and Dylan attending the game. So Brittany, who’d become one of your best friends during your relationship with Travis, invited you guys to sit in the box with her and some other friends and family of the Chiefs players. Which was how you ended up in the suite with your boyfriend, your ex boyfriend’s girlfriend, his parents, brother and sister in law. You found yourself easily conversing with Taylor which you hated because you felt guilty about the call you had gotten from Travis a month earlier.

Your phone blared through the serene air in your hotel room. You reached for the culprit of the blaring noise and pressed it to your ear without checking who was calling, “Yeah?” Travis’ voice sounded a lot more clear compared to the last 3 am call, “Hey, can we talk?” You frowned as you pressed a kiss to Dylan’s arm and excused yourself, “Sure what’s up?” Travis awkwardly rubbed a hand across his face, “I meant more so in person? I’m staying at the Marriott Hotel in Buffalo I can meet you for a late dinner there?”

You frowned slightly as you looked at your boyfriend who was half asleep in the bed, “I’ll give you an hour. I’m staying at the Marriott too. I have to get dressed but I’ll be down in a few.” Travis looked at the blonde woman sleeping in the hotel bed, the woman he’d grown to truthfully believe could be the one. He just needed to make sure the chapter with you was closed for good. He nodded, “I appreciate it.” You pulled on a pair of jeans and one of Dylan’s hoodies. Dylan stirred in the bed, “Where are you going?” You smiled softly, “I’m gonna go talk to a friend for a bit. I’ll be back soon Dyl.” Dylan hummed as he kissed you, “Okay. Love you.” You smiled to yourself as you left the hotel room.

You slid into the booth seat across from Travis, “Hey T.” Travis looked up from his phone at your voice, “Hey, I ordered you a Dr Pepper, mozzarella sticks and the grilled chicken strips I hope that’s okay.” You nodded, “That’s fine. I’ll pay you back.” Travis waved you off, “Don’t worry about it. How’d you like the game?” You laughed softly, “You played pretty well. Jason was off the walls. I swear I thought your mom was going to pull out a leash for him.” Travis laughed as heat rose up your cheeks, “He’s something else sometimes. Did the boyfriend have a good time?”

You smiled fondly at the mention of your boyfriend, “Dylan’s not super into football but he seemed into it today.” Travis smiled as the waiter brought over the food and set it in front of you guys, “He seemed to be getting on with Kylie and Britt.” You nodded as you took a sip of the soda, “Yeah. I’m sorry I haven’t been to many games this season. Kinda doesn’t feel like my place anymore.” Travis smiled widely, his natural charm taking over for a split second, “I always want beautiful models cheering for me.”

You buried your head in your palms, “You’re awful Kelce.” You and Travis fell into casual conversation about your work and his hopes for the Super Bowl this year. Eventually you found yourselves walking to the elevator to go back upstairs to your rooms. As soon as the elevator door shut Travis’ lips were on yours. Before it could register to you, you were reciprocating the kiss. You pulled away almost immediately and stared at Travis in silence as the elevator continued it’s crawl to your floor. Travis opened his mouth, “You can’t tell me that meant nothing.” You cut him off as the elevator dinged and opened, “Don’t.” You walked away before he could get another word in.

You opened the door to your shared hotel room with Dylan and tears filled your lash line. You pulled off the jeans and slipped into your pajama pants and laid on the couch in the room. You couldn’t find it in your heart to wake Dylan up to tell him, so you laid on the couch and waited for him to wake up. He eventually stirred awake and sat up, his vision noticing you on the couch watching him, “What is it beautiful?” You shook your head, “I’m so sorry. It was a mistake, I love you.”

Dylan furrowed an eyebrow as he raced to your side to console you, “What is it Y/N?” You burst into a sob, “I don’t know why I agreed to meet with him. We can never be friends. I’m a horrible person and an even worse girlfriend.” Dylan placed either of his hands on your cheeks, “You shouldn’t have met who baby?” You sniffled, “Travis, that’s who called me. He wanted to talk and I figured it would be as friends but when we were in the elevator we kissed. I’m awful how could I let myself do that to you? Your perfect for and I just screw it up like I always do. I don’t think we should be together anymore. I’m no good for you.”

Dylan wiped your tears, “Did it mean anything to you? The kiss?” You shook your head as you turned away from Dylan, unable to look at him anymore, “No but that doesn’t matter I still did it.” Dylan shook his head as he pulled you into his arms, “I love you and I know that whenever I kiss you here.” He pressed a soft kiss to the side of your neck which earned an unexpected laugh from you. Dylan smiled, “You giggle. I know that whenever I kiss you I feel like I can’t breathe. I know this and every kiss we have ever shared means something. I don’t care about a stupid mistake you made.” You sniffled as you melted into his arms, “I’m so so sorry Dylan. I shouldn’t have met him tonight.” Dylan shrugged as he pulled you off the couch and carried you to the bed, “Maybe so. We can fight about that tomorrow. Let’s sleep.”

February 14th 2024

Travis hadn’t heard from you since the awkward kiss in the elevator. He had told Taylor about the kiss and they’d fought over it and eventually made up. So when Travis was sat beside Taylor on Valentine’s Day as she scrolled through her instagram page. A certain post made Travis open his phone himself and find your instagram account. Your most recent post earned a heart warming smile from him.

Instagram!

yourusername; mrs dylan o’brien sounds ok i guess🤷‍♀️

user392: elopement?!?!

dylanobrien; official vogue first man

— yourusername: someone get my husband off of tiktok😒

taylorswift; i love love💚

— yourusername: we love you tay💚💚

killatrav: y/n o’brien has a ring to it!

— yourusername: thank you mr kelce🙂

— killatrav: of course mrs o’brien🙃🙃

user8713: tayvis & dylan and y/n is my roman empire, like imagine if travis and y/n never broke up. would this be dylan and tay?

#nfl #nfl player #nfl player x reader #travis kelce #tk87 #travis #tayvis #taylor swift #dylan obrien #no caller id #angst #drunk call #3am #travis kelce x reader #travis x reader #travis kelce x you #travis kelce x y/n

[hybbart]

Day 288: Late in the afternoon, Tango finally wakes up...

Short story below.

As had become comfortably familiar, Tango woke to the sound of pressurized breaths. It mingled with piercing bird songs, both wild and domestic, leaking faucets, and drones of old appliances. He tried to focus on the breaths. Jimmy was there and he was okay.

Tango almost dozed back off with that knowledge, but the rest of his body began to rouse. It was awake and it hurt. Everything hurt, but the pounding in his skull and small aches across his body were all drowned out by his arm. How could it hurt so much yet still be completely numb? A pained groan escaped him as he rolled his head to the side, barely registering the soft tickle across his nose. 

He peeled his eyes open, blinking away the sleep. Yellow feathers – they’re messy and need preening – curled around the awkwardly hunched lump on the sleeping bag – bed? – next to him, stretching out until they cradled the both of them. His nighttime mask was in place despite the light beaming through the blinds. What Tango could see of his face and arms were covered in wounds, but they were all properly dressed.

Jimmy really was there. Wasn’t he always? But he still felt his body melt with relief from a tension he couldn’t quite remember. He tried to reach out to his rancher with a smile. It twisted into a grimace as pain wracked his body for daring to move. He couldn’t stop the pathetic whimper that escaped.

Jimmy’s eyes snapped open, golden rings pulsing with the twitch of his ears. He gasped, shooting straight up. His wings yanked away, vibrating with tension. Flared out, Tango could see the bandage awkwardly woven between the feathers of his right wing. Memories of the tip of a rusted old shiv piercing through inches from Tango’s face flooded back. The fog in his brain finally started to part.

Right, Jimmy wasn’t there.

He was now, though. Maybe he was a bit delirious, or just tired, but he couldn’t summon the energy to be anything but glad.

“Tango?” Jimmy’s voice shook. 

Hands hovered over Tango. The blazeborn let out a noncommittal noise, though his sore throat broke it into an airy squeak. A mimicry escaped Jimmy, dragged out in disbelief. The hands finally shot out, yanking Tango up until – through a cloud of new pain from the sudden movement – he found himself pressed face first into Jimmy’s shoulder.

Despite the agony, Tango eased into the embrace. A grin stretched awkwardly across his face. “Mornin’.”

“Mor- Oh.” Jimmy’s body rumbled, but Tango couldn’t tell if it was a laugh or a sob. “… Morning.”

Tango hummed, twisting his head to the side to try and get a look at his companion. “You okay?”

“Me!” That one was apparently enough for Jimmy to pull away. “Am I okay! Mate, have you seen yourself? You literally looked like you were already a zombie when we found you.” He raved.

Something clicked in Jimmy’s brain, Tango could tell with the way his wings twitched back. He suddenly spun around to the nightstand – wait, wasn’t this Impulse’s room? Tango could hear Jimmy rummaging through bags and buckets. There was a soft curse accompanying something slamming then splashing onto the carpeted floors. Finally, Jimmy turned back around with his hands outstretched. One held a glass of water while the other held out two pills. 

“Here.” Jimmy said. “It’s the best we’ve got right now. Most of our stuff is still with the raiders.”

Tango went to take them but only one hand reached out, wrapping around the pills. That intense ache was all that was there on his left side. He stared down at the wrapped stump, stunned. 

Was that him? Tango was not sure how long he sat and stared at nothing. He was only partly dragged out of it by Jimmy’s hand gently folding Tango’s own around the pills and guiding them up to his mouth. The avian held the glass for him and he downed it. Tango went through the motions in a haze. No, that couldn’t be him.

“… Tango.”

He tore his gaze away, staring wide-eyed at Jimmy. His rancher looked away at the same moment. A sigh filled the inside of his mask with fog. He was still wearing it?

“I’m sorry, I had- it was all black and infected and we didn’t… We didn’t know when we would be able to get out. Impulse said it’d been like that for days, but he couldn’t…”

“Where’s your oxygen tank?” Tango thinks. 

Jimmy’s eyes went wide. Oh, no, that came out of his mouth. “Where’s m- what- Tango!” The avian wheezes. His wings flare up behind him. “Tango you goose, I chopped your bloody arm off with a fire axe. We had to carry you bleeding across the city. You stopped breathing and we couldn’t wake you back up- Who cares about the tank!”

Tango sucked in a breath, entire body tensing. Jimmy’s incredulous face fell, and Tango was pulled into another embrace. Hesitantly, Tango’s arm wrapped around Jimmy’s torso in return, which only seemed to make his companion tighten his hold. 

“Sorry.” Tango said, muffled, wrapping his tail around their waists comfortingly to match the wings that had cocooned around them. It was so warm and cozy in the room compared to all the campsites they slept in before. He thought he might pass out again despite his companion’s state.

He could feel Jimmy’s head shake above his own. “I’m just glad you woke up.”

“Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You really need your machine, though.” Tango emphasized. “Or to find a new one. I saw a hospital in the city–”

“I’d honestly rather be stuck in this house for the rest of my life than see another building over two stories ever again.” Jimmy groaned, twisting his hold to bury his face in Tango’s shoulder. The blazeborn laughed.

“Alright, no more cities. We can’t bother Gem forever, though, and you can’t be running around with that bulky thingamajig.” They pulled away, Tango resting his hand on the other’s forearm instead. “So, new plan? We got four months before winter comes back around. What’s say we migrate over to the coast where it’s a bit warmer and find some place to hunker down in? A little late for a garden, but maybe the farms grew wild, and there’s still a lot of non-perishables out there.”

Jimmy nodded. He seemed to brighten up the more Tango talked. “Scott told me they want to head west into the valley, too. It’d be a bit cramped with both dogs, but we could help them find their own car, and take Gem’s trailer. Then they could help with…”

His words died, his whole body shrinking in on itself nervously. Tango swallowed, not following his gaze to Tango’s left. “Yeah. Yeah, they could help us find a replacement for your oxygen machine. I’m sure with five of us we could find one.”

Jimmy said nothing, just giving another grimace. Tango took a deep, shaky breath. One… One thing at a time.

There was a muffled whimper at the door. They parted in time to watch it crack open. A nervous little face poked in, before a black muzzle was shoved into the gap and forced it open wide enough for Revy to pass. Two other sets of paws scrambled between his legs. 

Norman let out a long mrow as he crossed the room to leap into Jimmy’s lap. Revy mimicked him, the entire bed creaking under the large dog’s weight as he tried to lick Tango’s face off. Jimmy let out a squawk when his tail smacked into his arm. Tango laughed.

Gem stepped in, picking up Flick to place the confused kitten on top of Revy in the absence of space for him. “Sorry. I tried to keep them away, but they heard you talking.”

“It’s fine.” Jimmy dismissed, giving Norman’s chin a scratch. “Um, I think we’re going to talk to the Gs and get out of your hair soon.”

“You sure?” She asked, a bit surprised. “You guys are looking pretty rough. I don’t mind you staying longer, and Impulse said he’s fine with the couch.”

Tango piped up, “Yeah, I think it’s about time we get out of your hair. If we stay here we’re going to burn through all your food before fall.”

“Well, if you’re nearby, be sure to visit. It’s safe up here from everything but the bears.”

Jimmy smiled. “We will. Thanks, Gem.”

Gem bowed as she went back towards the door. “Remember to rest up for now. Pearl’s gonna help me and Impulse make a nice pot of chicken soup for dinner. You guys can make plans then.”

Tango waved goodbye from over Revy’s shoulder, wrapping it around him when the door closed. Jimmy was still looking at the door, hands distractedly buried in Norman and Flick’s belly fur. Without giving a warning to the avian Tango reached out. “Alright you heard the lady.”

Jimmy gasped as he was knocked over. With a fwump from the fluffy pillows and duvet, the ranchers curled back into bed. “Sooner we sleep, the sooner we get better.” Tango mumbled. 

Jimmy shifted around until he found a position comfortable for both his wings and all four animals he was stuck with. “Alright.” 

He reached out, catching Tango’s wrist before the Blazeborn could doze off. “Make sure to wake up this time?”

Tango tried to give the most assuring smile he could muster. “I will, I promise.”

#blood #solidaritygaming #tango tek #team rancher #rancher apocalypse au #fanart #fanfic #biopunk #cute #spooky #character #scene #background #art #writing #sketch #colour #Hybbart

[headkiss]

can I request joel taking care of reader who is seriously injured? I’m thinking maybe something gets infected and she gets really sick, so he is catering to her every need? I love the hurt/comfort dynamic because I feel like his love language is acts of service!!

hiii it’s a teeny bit different but i hope u still like it!!! | 0.7k angst to fluff, tw for an injury and blood!

“You’re gonna be fine.”

The voice is so clearly Joel’s, that you could never miss, but you can’t tell if it’s real. Your vision is hazy, ears ringing, you’re not sure where you are anymore.

It all happened so fast. Your shift with Joel, the raiders coming out from nowhere, fighting them off, the searing pain of a knife in your side. Everything after that is blank, slipping in and out of consciousness.

“You hear me? You’re gonna be okay,” it’s him again, and you can feel his arms around you, carrying you back to Jackson, probably.

“Joel,” you muster out his name before closing your eyes again.

“‘M right here.”

He’s trying his best to be composed, to be strong for you, but the blood soaking your shirt has his hands shaking and his mind reeling with a memory that never seems to stop haunting him. But he won’t lose you, he can’t.

By the time Jackson comes into view, you’ve been quiet, but Joel’s hand that holds your head up can feel the pulse in your neck. You’re gonna live because you have to, because he can’t lose you, especially not like this. Not when he hasn’t said the things he wants to tell you.

Tommy’s the one who sees Joel carrying you first, and then there’s yelling and people clearing a path, and then Joel’s laying you down on a bed at the doctor’s.

It feels like hours in the waiting room before someone steps out and Joel stands right away.

“It’s gonna be alright,” the doctor says, nodding to the hall behind him, “go ahead.”

Joel doesn’t waste a second, nodding and rushing back into the room. He finds you, laying down, breathing, alive. He pulls up the guest chair and sits down next to your bed, reaching out and grabbing your hand.

When you wake up, you feel something cool being pressed to your forehead. Your senses come back slowly, hearing Joel’s voice mumbling something you can’t make out, then feeling his hand clasped around yours. To make sure you aren’t dreaming it up, you squeeze his hand.

“Come on, wake up,” you hear him say, his thumb running back and forth over your skin. Joel’s never been a man of many words, but he tells you enough with the few he uses.

You blink your eyes open slowly, fluttering and wincing at the brightness until you can see the ceiling of the doctor’s place. You lull your head to the side and see him, hair a mess, eyebrows furrowed (like usual), a frown on his face.

“Joel?” You croak out.

His eyes flick over to yours, and he lifts a damp washcloth from your forehead with the hand that isn’t holding onto yours.

“You’re awake.”

“Everything hurts,” you say, trying to sit up.

“Stop. Let me help you, okay?” He doesn’t let you answer, lifting you gently with an arm around your shoulders to put an extra pillow behind your back. His hand is still in yours. “Can I do something?”

“Water would be nice.”

Joel doesn’t waste a second, twisting around to grab a glass of water on the table next to your bed and then lifting it to your mouth. He tilts it for you, too.

“I could’ve done that,” you say as he puts the glass back down.

“I don’t want you hurting yourself. You lost a lot of blood, and you’ve got stitches.”

It’s then you remember what really happened to you. The raiders, the pain, the flashes of Joel helping you home.

“You saved my life.”

“Did you really think I’d leave you, sweetheart?”

Joel calls you ‘sweetheart’ on rare occasions, when he can’t seem to stop it from slipping, and every time, it makes your heart do a stupid jump.

“No, Joel. I didn’t.”

As quiet as he is, as closed-off and often grumpy, you know that he cares about people, about you.

“I was really fuckin’ scared,” he says, pushing damp baby hairs from your forehead, “I thought I didn’t really get scared anymore.”

“You’re not as cold as you think, Joel.” You blink slowly, squeeze his hand again just to be sure you aren’t hallucinating, “you’re not cold at all.”

“Not with you.”

Joel wants to say so much more, and he will, someday, but he can tell you’re exhausted, your blinks growing longer, heavier. It’s like you’re fighting to stay awake, to keep talking to him.

“You can sleep, sweetheart,” he says, his hand shifting to rest on the side of your head. “You need the rest.”

“Will you stay?”

“Yeah, I’ll stay.”

He’ll stay as long as you’ll have him.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller request #joel miller requests #joel miller blurbs #joel miller blurb #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagines #joel miller imagine #joel miller reader insert #joel miller hurt/comfort #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel blurbs #joel miller the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller tlou #joel the last of us #joel tlou #joel miller one shot #joel miller oneshot

[wlfpet]

Abby choking reader with her biceps!

AN; Sorry this took so long, its been killing me for fucking ever and I got stumped. Somehow I found a way to write something I could be a little bit proud of, so I hope ya'll like it!

content tags: Asphyxiation (2 in a combat context, one in an erotic context. r! receiving all three times,) fingering (r!receiving,) cunnilingus (r!receiving,) a normally degrading pet name used in a sexual context, abby is kind of mean in the beginning but warm sup at the end, reader is one of like a billion orphans that live in the tlouverse, sadge. mediocre action scenes. breast play (r!receiving,) abby gives r slurp and she didn't even pull her pants down

wc: 6.4k (woah...)

proofread?: i've rewritten this 4 times and never want to see it again.

The forest was dark and cold, wind whipping around you, through you, as you traversed deeper into darkness. It was getting dark, your radio had died a long time ago, and it had been hours since you had seen a WLF stronghold, or a stationary transceiver to call for help on. Your assignment was entry-level, sweep the grounds in WLF territory for any raider camps or pockets of traveling scars, but you were separated from your squad, and now, without any way to communicate with them, you had to find your own way back to the FOB before nightfall. You were turned around, in scar territory, alone; following the moon, sidearm drawn in your trembling hands. There was a ringing in your ears, cut only by the bumping of your anxious heart; pitifully, you wouldn’t be able to hear the cracking of rustling leaves and snapping twigs underfoot over the sound of your own fear.

There was a great cry as a shadow swung into your vision. You missed the blow narrowly, sliding backward as a body lurched into your vision. It rushed you, taking you by surprise, causing you to stumble as your pistol arm shot up wildly in the tight grip of your attacker. There wasn’t enough time for reaction, and before you knew it, you were carrying their weight. The two of you were thrashing, a bloody tug of war through the bushes and debris, you were fighting, the way that one fights before they die. It was a tornado of bodies, a cacophony of screams the clatter of a gun hitting the floor, and then the blackness of being blind as your head slammed into the trunk of a tree. Thick blood and spit shot from your mouth as you crumpled to the forest floor with a heavy thud, seeing stars. 

You fought unconsciousness as you tried to regain your footing, but your assailant was too fast, grabbing by the collar of your jacket and dragging you across the tractionless, muddy ground. You were chest to the ground, pressed down with the full weight of two people as a hand fisted through your hair, holding your face to the dirt as you struggled with the last of your remaining power. 

“Fuck– no, get the fuck off of me–!” You screamed, thrashing wildly on the ground, your torso pinned. An arm hooked around your throat.  Your hand slapped wildly at the ground, looking for something, anything that could grant you escape. There was nothing; but as your fingers inched out, there was your gun. Before you could sweep it into your grasp, pressure bulged against your eyes, crushing your throat, tightening the skin of your face. Hands flew up, spurred on by true survival instinct to claw at the scar’s flesh, but the leather of your brown utility gloves only pawed weakly at the clothed bicep. Your lips pulled into a grimace, blood rushing to your brain as you fell in and out of consciousness. Like sick irony, there was nothing; but then, pressed to your temple was the cold metal of your sidearm. Your eyes squeezed closed, anticipating the bang.

“This is the part where you’d end up getting your brains blown out with your own pistol, rook.” The arm currently strangling you loosened, freeing you from its grapple. The disembodied voice- no, it was very bodied, actually, and still laying across you- jostled your temple with the dummy gun, exploding in mock recoil as a sardonic ‘–pchew!’ blew against your ear. It lifted away from you and you finally had the space to expand your chest more than a couple of inches. You rolled over onto your back, drawing a deep, reactionary breath, soothing the throbbing skin of your neck with a hand. 

The woman towering over you in the darkness grimaced, unimpressed, leaning her weight against the tree trunk she had just used to nearly brain you. Anderson was your training captain; ruthless, built like an ox, and the top soldier out of anyone in the WLF, right hand to the Big Man, and you fucking hated her. 

She was an unforgiving mentor; running you on drills long after everyone went home, failing you, hard, and was dedicated to kicking your ass for real every time you had a sparring match. This, in fact, was your third field scenario attempt with Anderson, and they never got better; the first time, throwing dirt into your face and ‘slitting your throat,’ then it was ‘shooting’ you in your abdomen and finishing you off with another to the chest, and now? Taken out after getting ambushed in a dark forest and having your head blasted open. She’d suck her teeth, cracking the vertebrae in her neck with a terse, ‘that’s how it is in the field, kid’’ as you walked behind her, winded. 

“That… wasn’t a pass, was it?” You choked out, scooching yourself across the wet mud to sit up, drawing harsh, ragged breaths. 

Anderson wrenched up a brow at you, unimpressed. “You really need to be told that wasn’t a pass?” 

The matter-of-fact tone she took left you dumbstruck, crushed, burning from the inside out of embarrassment, the heat nesting in your cheeks mingling from the stinging pain from the fight. You were humiliated and more importantly, you knew she was right. That you had shit the bed, going 0 and 3.  You wouldn’t be getting promoted to assignments, and if you kept dragging your feet, you’d be reassigned. But you could convince her, you had to convince her. “But everyone else from my class made mistakes, and they– they still passed!” You tried to seem firm and level-headed, but your throat got tight all of a sudden, and your voice was whiny like a child’s. 

“Doesn’t really matter to me. I don’t train everyone else from your class.” She blew out flippantly, not even meeting your eyes, barely giving your pleas the time of day. It was her job to push you past your limits, to see how far from your comfort zone you were willing to go. To see how badly you could be beaten before you talked, how long they could torture you with guns or knives or burns before you gave in. But right now? She was more irritated than anything, and the truth she was biting her tongue on was that you were a completely lost cause. 

Anderson cut the distance between the two of you and leaned in, closer than ever, towering over you like it was easy, looking at you as if she was seeing you from the inside out. Her smirk faded, falling to her barely-masked anger as she kneaded together her lips. Your eyes brimmed with tears as hers filled with indignation, annoyance, like you were an itch she couldn’t scratch; perpetually pissing her off. “You don’t have a clue in the fucking world, do you? The reality of what they do in the open city you’re in such a rush to get out to? What they’ll do to a wolf, out there?” 

You did know, or at least you had heard stories. It was all common;  rookies overhearing what deployed soldiers would bring back from their rotation, then telephoning it back in the barracks before lights out. The stories were always the same, scouting duos going out deep into the unclaimed territory, never to come back. It was no man’s land. it was suicide. After some days, they would stop calling into WLF frequencies. After some weeks, a new unit would be sent behind them, stumbling upon the bloated, swinging bodies. it would take another three days for recovery to get them back to the FOB, they would get buried in a large plot of land at the back of the stadium, reserved only for soldiers. It was nothing special, but the ones that were too high up would just stay there. Sometimes, it would keep you up at night, honest. You looked at your feet, almost submissively, trying to hide the tears that were threatening to leak. She was right, you fucked up, you kept fucking up. You forced your tiny voice to speak. “I’m sorry, I ju–”

“This a fucking joke to you, YLN?”

You looked into her eyes, she was tired of you. Tired of your constant excuses, how you never seemed to improve, how everything you did wrong ended up coming down on her shoulders. You had gotten bounced around from training class to training class on account of repeated failures, and at some point, they threw you at Anderson’s feet. She protested, she didn’t do fucking charity work but of course, the task manager gave a bullshit excuse, saying that was the direct orders from the big man himself, that if anyone could “fix” you, it was her. You were always fucking around, lackadaisical, terrible at your job. Always cornering her before the end of evaluations, begging for a good word, begging for extra credit. They called you ’tornado’  because you kept busting your ass during physical drills, which turned into ‘twitch’ because you couldn’t stop your gun hand from shaking during on-field drills. You were picky, even, complaining about the smell of the barracks on your first day in training camp. 

Your mouth was open, gobsmacked, tripping on syllables, tongue dry all of the sudden, too dry, and you tried to blink back the wetness in your eyes before it dampened your cheeks. You couldn’t say anything because there was nothing to say. “No, I just– no, this, this is really serious to me. It’s really important to me.”

 “But you want me to pass you? So that you can get your whole squad killed? So that they can ship your bagged-up body to the morgue? Fine, then. I’ll pass you. See? ‘You passed,’ easy– since we just like bullshitting each other.” The woman deadpanned, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly, muscles bobbing under her skin, eyes dangerous, fed up. The harsh words had you simmering over with a quiet rage; at yourself, for fucking up from the beginning, and at your coach, for always being so hard on you. 

“You’re not ready, kid, and I don’t think I can help you, either. Want my advice? There are a lot of other jobs they’ll give you at the stadium, but whatever it is here that you think you’re cut out for– you’re not.” She spoke through a tight jaw, and you could almost imagine sadness in her voice, but that couldn’t be right. She turned on her heels, heading back to the jeep the two of you rode out on, not waiting for you to follow behind her. 

–

If she was nothing else, Abigail Anderson was a woman of her word. You had gone to pick up your evaluation records early in the morning, while the stadium was still quiet and everyone in the barracks was still asleep. It had become an odd kind of spectator sport to see how many consecutive fails you could rack up from mentor to mentor. In turn, it had become your ritual to collect your papers and make them disappear before anyone could ask. Your hands were heavy as you cracked open the envelope, opened it, and gazed over the lettering. There was a boxed-in ‘Instructor: A. ANDERSON’ in the top corner, and your face burned remembering the cold lecture that brought you nearly to tears. 

whatever it is here that you think you’re cut out for– you’re not.

You hated her for it. For always being on your ass, for making everything so damned difficult.  But you were disappointed in yourself for thinking that it would be easy in the first place. Disappointed that years passed by, watching from the sidelines as literal teenagers were deployed before you. Deep down, you knew she was right, that you should give up; but your eyes widened when you saw it. 

INTERIM FIELD EVALUATION: PASS. 

She did it to spite you but you didn’t fucking care, it was one step closer out of the program. You paced around, giggling to yourself; if anyone was up to see you, they’d think you were fucking insane. But no one was awake, and you’d be back in bed before all rise, so it didn’t matter. so you pressed the paper to your chest, as though you could absorb it through your skin. Fucking pass; you could lay down on the floor and die right here. You had to look at it one more time, just to make sure you weren’t dreaming. So you did, eyes flying all across the paper, your first pass in months; no, years and all you had to do was cry a bit. Wonder if Anderson would let it slide all the way to deployment. 

Then you saw it. 

CADET TRANSFER REQUEST

CADET #549226 

From A. ANDERSON

To  V. CHUNG

Fuck.

–

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about. Chung will give you all the passes you want.” You were towering over Anderson, who lay flat on the weight bench, adjusting the bar of weights over her head, angling and curling herself in preparation. She didn’t meet your eyes, only looking over a second in irritation as she saw you burst into the then-empty gym. You had planned to give her a piece of your mind, or at least beg and plead. It wasn’t working. She was flippant in the way that she always was, how she could reduce all of your feelings to petty quips and take the air completely out of your sails at once. She lifted the bar, barely any effort showing up as a kink in her brow, pressing it to her chest and then dropping it back down onto the stand jutting out from either side. Her muscles rippled, a thin mask of sweat dusting over her and twinkling in the light

that was a soldier, and she reminded you of everything that you weren’t. 

“It’s not just about the passes. Everyone just–” against your will, a lump formed in your throat, and you turned to the side so that she wouldn’t get the satisfaction of seeing you cry. “Everyone just fucking gives up on me.” You weren’t a stranger to being passed around, but it was something new that hurt; a unique level of disappointment at everything, at yourself, that made the tears pool and run down your face. Trained by the best of the best, and you still couldn’t hack it. 

It really was a dead-end for you. 

Everyone knew the jokes and the rumours of the cadet that just couldn’t make it, but nobody could pinpoint just why, no matter how hard life kicked you, you wouldn’t give up. 

Being a child in a QZ was hard. None of you were happy, or living particularly well, but you had your family, and small joys, Until it all fell down, until FEDRA abandoned one post for another and you were left, a child, at the mercy of the world. You blew around, another fringe society, another QZ. Those fell too, and the only thing you could remember some nights was that everyone was gone now, and it was just you. That was when you joined the WLF. Because you wanted to save the world because it was your only choice.

 You tried to work hard, waking up extra early to run drills, trying to build up your form or your reflexes against all odds. You were like a fish, the way you could hold your breath underwater. Your pistol hand still shook from the chronic anxiety of the life you had lived before, but you could take your sidearm apart and put it back together faster than anyone else. But nobody ever noticed those things, just your fuck ups. Nobody saw you, just saw twitch, or tornado, just a compendium of everything you couldn’t be.

If you couldn’t do anything else, then maybe the suffering you went wasn’t worth it. Maybe what happened to you was just common. You *had* to be a hero.

Or die a martyr. 

The words rolled out before you could stop them, and you were blubbering, tears rolling down your face, a thick coating of snot and drool coating your lips and chin as you sunk down, crying. Your hands fisted that damned form, crumpling it, and it rippled and burst under your fingers. This really was pathetic of you, groveling and begging at the feet of a woman who didn’t care, and deep down you were still planning your strategy of how to exit this room now that you firmly couldn’t play it off. You couldn’t face her anymore, or anyone, for that matter because Anderson would definitely talk. Your only option was to defect, ride out at dawn with nothing but the clothes on your back, no, dig a hole in the stadium and live there, with nothing but a straw in your mouth for breathing, no, shit idea, maybe you should just swan dive off the high side of the FOB and save yourself all the trouble, no, mayb–

“Kid.”

And you were still talking, like a dumbass. “–and i know i fucked up but– if you could give me one more chance i just need one more chance you don’t understand how much this means to me how important this is to me– please i’ll do anything and i get it if you just want me to get the hell out of your way but i just thought i just thought i could i just really really”

“Kid, stop talking,” Anderson was holding your hands gently in her own. Looking up at you from her now seated position. There was still the ever-so-slight crook of indignation in her brow, but she was speaking to you, gently, leniently. She felt bad, and there was a black spot of shame growing on her back from how she had treated you.

She was remorseful, and there was a dark spot of shame growing on her conscience for how she had treated you. She was hard on you because you were just going through the motions and cutting corners a lot of the time, but there was a determination that hadn’t yet been broken down and you were dogged, like she was once; and deep down, she did have a soft spot for your annoying ass. 

“I’ll help you. I’ll help you out” Anderson spit out, watching a spark ignite in your watery eyes. Before you got too excited, she put her hand up, holding all of your hopes in midair for just a moment. “But– fuck, stop crying. Thought I was gonna have to get you on a damn psych watch.” 

You nodded jerkily, exposed once again in front of her, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your thermal shirt, a windy inhale passing through your nose and dislodging the mucus in your throat. “Shit– fuck, fuck. Sorry.” 

Anderson stood from the bench, barely giving you time to react before she angled into a striking position, feet shoulder-width apart, planted firmly on the rubber floor. Her fists were clenched, muscles working in her arms and making her look ten times bigger as she stalked around you, chin down, scanning for an open. “What are you waiting for,” she chided, cracking her neck to the side. It was weird, like she was trying to… encourage you? “Scenario three, from last week– remember?”

Then she advanced, walking you backwards into an empty space in the room, striking at your head before you had a chance to react. You swooped down, diving under her extended arm to barely miss the shot that probably would’ve knocked you out. 

“Put your hands up, rook– they’re not gonna wait for you.” Anderson grunted and slammed down with locked elbows; this was your in– and you charged, albeit off balance to make the first connection, a glancing blow to her chin. The two of you fought around the room, exchanging blows and blocks, kicks and punches. Somehow, you had managed your way into her blindspot and swung to try and land a grapple around her neck with an impassioned “I got you!”

It was then, like a flash of light that your arm was intercepted and you were turned over onto your knees, Anderson crouched beside you squeezing your neck in a submission hold. Her bicep pressed into your throat, that ragged pressure that tightened every muscle in your body and turned on that sheer animal instinct to survive. You clawed above you, nails catching on the flesh of her exposed chest.

“You don’t have to announce it, its not a damn movie.” She spoke, trailing off into a whisper. It was all over, you did it again, miraculously continuing your 0-for-infinity losing streak. 

But she let you go, and it was crazy but you swore that her hand lingered in your hair for a second as she stepped away. You laid on the ground, heaving. Anderson looked over you, looking at the rapidly darkening red welts on your throat, bruises on bruises layered from yesterday night. In the back of her mind, she could hear laughter, a conversation over drinks while her team was on recess.

“You’re fuckin’ brutal on the kid, Anderson. Trying to kill her?” Chung laughed, taking a heavy swig from his beer. A hand clapped against her shoulder from behind, swaying her from side to side, sloshing liquid out of her cup and onto the wooden table they were gathered around. Before she could protest Manny’s voice cut through the raucous laughter ringing off the walls. 

“Bet you two shift swaps that Abs makes YLN drop out of the program before deployment!” He cried, drunk off his ass, jabbing his finger in any general direction before loosening his spider monkey-like grip. Abby’s back burned, her jaw clenching unconsciously with thinly veiled anger, they were her friends, but fuck these guys, honestly.  She forced a coy smile, becoming the face of drunken jest. 

“You guys fucking done?” She tried to conceal the sound of her discomfort with a laugh, but it was tight and terse and frankly, after years together anyone at the roundtable could pick up on her unconscious cues. 

“What, Abs, going soft on us? Or maybe… you’re tryna’ catch another type of body– huh? huh?”

—

She watched you, fisting your hands together on the floor in a quiet sort of frustration. Tears threatened to pool in your eyes but you blinked them back, cutting your eye at her for a split second and then looking away. It was embarrassing, of course, but at this point, you were defeated. Anderson sat down beside you, hooking her hand under your arm and lifting you to sit upright. 

“Anderson I–”

“–just, Abby.” She whispered, palming your knee, trying her best to commit to her insurmountable task: being comforting. The woman watched as your face tensed up and then went slack as you dug teeth into your bottom lip, looking off into nothing. “It’s not going to matter more, just because you die. You know that, right?” You didn’t speak. Nails ran skittishly against your shirt as you ran your hands up and down your arms, trying to self-soothe, unable to hide your grimace. 

“Yeah.” You nodded slowly, as though you were trying to stave off your own denial. “Yeah.”

The hand on your knee became firmer, heavier as it stroked over your skin, her thumb rubbing a small circle where it began to meet your thigh. “I was serious– when I was talking about other jobs, you know? You can just live a good life, and that can be enough. There’s nothing waiting for you outside of the wall, kid.”

 If it were anyone else, you could’ve been angry, you would’ve lashed out; but it was coming from someplace real, one of the only times you had ever seen Anderson– Abby, be anything more than a cold, stony prick. She had been stern with you because she saw herself in that tiny rage you had, the anger just below the surface that she could see in your eyes right at this moment. Because when you’re that driven about anything, the only certain thing to look forward to is a darkness that keeps on coming. It was the hard realisation, and you swallowed heavy. “Guess not.”

There was a vulnerability in the air, and before you knew it, you were leaning into her touch, pressing your body to hers, side to side. Your superior didn’t move, didn’t keen away or tell you off, just sat there, never stopping the motion of her hand. It was a long silence between the two of you, but then she stopped, began to stand, and like your body wasn’t yours you grabbed her arm, willing her to stay without a single spoken word. There was this weird, small flash on her face that you couldn’t place, until she just nodded, using her strength to lift you to your feet as well. 

“Coming?” Was all that she said, and you nodded. Yeah. 

–

It was what you had always wanted, the big luxury box in the sky. It was as though you could see everything from your place at the window of Abby’s room, the barracks, where everyone was still sleeping tucked in the corner behind the greenhouse, the sun slowly overtaking the dark sky, the very tops of the skyscraper tucked into the clouds, the FOB, overlooking everything ominously.

 “It’s all yours?” you asked, no higher than a murmur as you looked through the parted curtains. 

“And Manny’s,” Abby dropped her bag in the corner of the room, using her foot to kick it under her bedframe. “On an overnight, though. So it’s just me. One of the many perks you have to look forward to if you become a top soldier.” 

“Fat chance.” You quipped bitterly.

There were footsteps behind you, but you didn’t think much of it as you closed the curtain. You turned away from the window and in a second the two of you were together, the blonde placing a hand on the small of your back and taking your mouth into hers. It was as though you were covered in white light, how everything became so blinding, so warm, extremely surreal in a way you couldn’t place. You’d wake up in your bunk, you were sure of it. Had to wake up in your bunk. But as the wet of her tongue played over your lips, you thought, maybe you didn’t want to wake up. You could dream forever and that would be fine.

“You know, you’re really hard on yourself, rookie.” The taller woman breathed, pulling away to speak. “Wouldn’t be a good mentor if I didn’t give you a morale adjustment.”

You moaned, leaning into it, the thickness of her thigh now ghosting against the spread of your legs. Her hand came up to run fingers gently through your hair, thumbing away the thin layer of sweat that formed on the nape of your neck. Her cockiness did something to you, and it was as though you couldn’t get enough skin to touch as you gripped her bicep deeper, feeling the muscle bulge with her effort. Her tongue disappeared into your mouth, swirling against yours, depositing the slick of her saliva down your throat. It was heavy and wet, built up like her own body, and it dominated yours easily, just like she had done in the gym. 

“You with me?” She peppered a soft kiss, groaning as she took a fistful of your thigh, heaving it up to lock against her waist, the seam of your pants unwittingly pressing into your crotch through now-dampened panties. She pulled from you and you wanted to chase her, a deprived whine ringing out of your throat before you could stop it. Unbeknownst to you, the noise sent a shockwave to Abby’s clit, and she could feel her channel begin to slicken. Fuck, you were pretty. Her eyes narrowed, looking over your features. This should be against her ethical code, probably against proper conduct guidelines, but she wanted you so bad it was infuriating. She heard Chung’s voice again. 

…tryna’ catch another type of body?

Oh, fuck you, man. 

You nodded, and a frown overcame her. “Needa hear you, kid.” You looked down, pressed your face into her chest, kneading fingers into her open grey sweatshirt. It was embarrassing to say, and a part of her wished that she was as bad as you had always said she was, that she would just… do whatever this is and not make you vocalise how much you wanted her. The pit of shame in your stomach got deeper, but she soothed a thumb over your brow and it was like you melted. “We don’t have to do anything if you d–”

“I’m here. I’m with you.”

There it was; the confirmation, the greenlight she needed to lift you up, both legs under her strong hands now, and carry you to the two pushed-together twin mattresses of her bed. She looked down at you, laying on your back, blown-out watery eyes squinted as she lifted your shirt up just a hair to reveal the plush skin beneath. “Fuckin’ hell.” She whispered to nobody specific, running a thumb against your torso. 

Abby met your eye, asking, and you nodded. She exposed you easily, lifting your shirt up and leaving you in just a bra from the waist up. Deft fingers locked under the straps and she pulled her hands down, mouth agape as your breasts spilled forward. If she believed, she would’ve compared the sight to viewing the kingdom of heaven for the first time, singing angels and all. A calloused hand trailed up to palm one, a thumb rolling across the pliant bulb of your nipple, the sensation causing it to rapidly harden to a stiff point. She took it, rolling it between two fingers and her thumb as she leaned in, taking the other in her mouth and grazing it between her teeth. A ragged breath was forced through your lips as you tried to regain your spinning consciousness. 

“Fuck, nghh– Abby, fuck.” You moaned out, delirious. The double stimulation didn’t stop, and instead, Abby slid her jaw forward, biting one nipple firmly and gripping the other between two knuckles to pull, and you cried out. She sucked as though she was nursing, the slopping popping noises of her mouth filling the air in tandem with your moans and whimpers.

“Goddamned gorgeous, you know that?” She groaned, slapping your free tit with her hand lightly before walking her fingers down to your belt loop. With one hand she slipped down your sweatpants to your ankles, leaving you in nothing but light, stained briefs. Your cunt had soaked pathetically through the fabric, clit standing at attention. You were so wet that the thin cloth was practically see-through, the rouge of your cunt catching Abby’s eye. Through your underwear, a calloused thumb toggled your clit, ripping a half-sob from your body. 

It was as though you were an overflowing spring of endlessly pure water, how the wet spot grew and grew. You fucked your hips upwards, trying desperately to rock harder into the new assailant, but Abby lifted her thumb away, depriving you of the sensation. It was so much, everything was spinning; your head, the room, your soul out of your body. Your cunt clenched around air as she drew designs on your thigh with a finger absentmindedly. 

“Gotta be patient, little.” She didn’t look up, but there was a smirk on her face and a smile in her voice as brought her thumb back down. “Gonna take care of you, don’t worry.”  

Her finger ghosted over the wet spot in your underwear and you twitched unconsciously. The blonde captured a thin sheen of your drip between two fingers, stretching the line back and forth. “So fuckin’ excited for me.” She pressed her nose down into your crotch, and you closed your thighs reflexively. Fine by her. She took a deep inhale of your pussy, and lathed at the wet liquid with her tongue. The rough texture of the fabric dragged over your clit, bringing the little red bulb to a fever pitch, as she sucked and slurped through it, catching salty-sweetness in her mouth. Her tongue pathed its way to your covered clit, flattening roughly over the sensitive bundle. The dual stimulation was driving you mad; the hard abrasion of wet panties slipping between your cuntlips, in and out of your hole as she licked and prodded, and the firm muscle of her tongue kneading at the pliant flesh. 

Like she was showing off a party trick, Abby maneuvered her tongue, skillfully weaving it inside of your underwear to taste your ambrosia from the tap. Rough hands grabbed hold of your ass, palming and gripping as she pushed your thighs up and over to situate your feet over your head in the perfect position where your gooey pussy was squished together, oozing directly into her mouth. You kicked the sweatpants the rest of the way gone, and they flew into the corner of the room, never to be seen again. There was a groan like an animal, and you weren’t sure which of the two of you was the source as Abby tore your panties open, the two halves drooping weakly, and pressed your feet next to your ears. She devoured you with newfound vigor, catching a second wind the moment your walls clenched around her tongue, fucking you in and out as hard and deep as possible.

“Abby! Shit, shit, more. Please.” You whimpered, looking down to see where her disappearing nose bumped against your clit over and over again. She wanted you to fuck her face, grinding her head back and forth so that her lips massaged yours, her tongue searched for every spot, and her nose abused your sloppy nub, driving you crazy with sensation over sensation. You were coming over the bend fast, too fast, and everything flashed white and black in spades as your body trembled. Again, her thumb came up to drum against your clit, and your orgasm tore you in two, red hot. Your juices siphoned into the blonde’s waiting mouth, and she drank from you like an oasis. 

Her body came over, you, shrouding you in darkness and the rolled over to lay flat on the bed, scooting over to plant her feet on the very edge. You were still trembling, still drooling from the slit in your legs that was happily prepped and used. The throbbing shook your whole body as you tried to catch your breath, and Abby’s arm jutted out, pulling you across the bed and onto her, chest to back. She hooked her knees through yours, and you could feel the force holding you open to give full exposure to your greedy hole. She licked a hot stripe up your neck and you whimpered, biting your lip. She pulled it free with your thumb, replacing it with a finger that she fucked in and out of your hot mouth. “Wonder where this is going, huh?” She angled her knees down, spreading you further, your pussylips slipping apart, cool air running against your clit. “Gotta see if it’s just your hand, or if you have a twitchy pussy too, baby.”

The moniker that usually filled you with red shame was now engulfing you with hot-pink lust, your cunny leaking down onto the bed. You were dumb and fuck-drunk as Abby pushed one of her thick fingers into you, slowly at first in order to get you used to the stretch of the tight ring. She curled her knuckle to press against your g-spot and you saw stars. She sped up her filthy pace, the sloppy sounds of your wet cunt reverberating in the air. Then, it was instant, her strong, rippling arm coming around to clench your neck again, palm rubbing your head gently. Abby added another finger, palm smearing your clit harshly as she fucked you deep, pace quickening. Her fingers scissored back and forth as she closed her elbow tighter, cutting off your breath and inviting the pressure you were by now so used to. You couldn’t tell her you were on the verge of cumming, a red-hot fire in your stomach burning hotter and faster as the plowed through your juices. 

You were suctioning her fingers, barely letting them slip from your folds. She pulled them out nearly all the way and drilled back in, tiny splashes of liquid raining down on the mattress. You ground your hips as best you could in the compromising position, chasing your orgasm, so close to your own personal bliss that you started panting like a whore with no concern. Abby pressed open-mouthed kisses to your cheeks, to your lips, the taste of you still on her and mingling with your own saliva. You were dizzy, be it the pleasure, the slowly depleting oxygen in your lungs, or the fact that your mentor was currently palm-deep in your pussy, but you couldn’t keep your composure. 

Your walls clenched around her, and you could hear her muttering in your ear. ‘such a tight pussy, Twitch, baby. Such a good pussy.’ And it was like you were summoned, cunt spasming as you came hard and messy, squirt shooting from you and sprinkling loudly through the ground. She fucked you through it, releasing your throat as your vision blurred, not letting you close your legs and bringing her free hand down to rub your clit in tandem. You tried to buck away from her to no avail, your cunt clenching wildly, juices bubbling over, lips red and sore from the sustained abuse. Tears rolled down your face as you took hungry breaths, your deprived lungs fighting for all of the air they could get. 

The two of you lay together, panting, hearts beating against the other, and Abby pulled her palm away from the throbbing expanse of your swollen, used cunt. She unhooked your thighs, and the pressure of closing your legs again sent a ripple into your pussy that made you whimper something fierce. There was a long, pregnant silence, and then you spoke up, cheekily. 

“So are you going to still swap me?”

“Not sure… it’s, whadotheycallit–? A conflict of interest.” She said, turning over and throwing a heavy arm over your chest, rubbing your bicep absentmindedly.

“But I’ll tell you what, champ; I’ll make sure to put a special training session on my schedule whenever you’re up for it. If you’re up for it.”

#abby anderson x fem reader #abby anderson ff #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson smut #abby x reader #abby smut #abby tlou smut #abby anderson x you #abby x fem!reader #tlou smut #tiki writes #time to go lay my ass to sleep

[heartpascal]

Howdy I love you and your writing, I was wondering if you'd ever write tommy x platonic reader

be your armour

▹— tommy miller x platonic!seraphite!reader

▹— summary: you escape the seraphites, and find that the world is not what they described

▹— a/n: howdy yourself lovely anon! i love you! (see the extra a/n at the end!)

▹— warnings: reader was in a cult, religious themes, religious trauma, slight tlou pt 2 spoilers (though it’s set before!), canon-typical violence, death, murder, mention of reader being malnourished (but no mention of weight/size), minor character death, transporting a dead body, tommy’s PTSD and general mental health struggles, abrupt ending

▹— taglist: @rhymingtree @sleepygraves @wnstice (everything!) @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915  @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @rvjaa  @sunflowersdrop @definitely-not-a-seagull-i-swear @miss-celestial-being

masterlist

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Tommy knows Maria has a good reason for disliking sending him on patrols. He realises it every single time he agrees to go on one.

As his wife, she’s seen every ugly and terrible side to him. Being in the apocalypse means that his best side isn’t really his best. But even so, Maria has loved him and looked out for him in far more ways than he usually knows. Like when she assigns him to construction and overseeing repairs, she’s sparing him of this.

Even now, nearing three decades since his time in the military, he experiences the effects. Except now, there are far more stakes. Now, when he loses sight of where he is, when the sounds become too loud and he’s back there, people’s lives are at stake. And so is his own.

Usually, being the soldier that he is, Tommy can keep himself together in terse situations. When chaos unfolds, Tommy is there, unmoving. But today, he was caught by surprise, much like his now most likely deceased companion, Julian.

The reason he had accepted this patrol with little complaint from Maria was because it was supposed to be quiet. It was well known for being free of raiders, with only a few Infected roaming around. So both he and Julian hadn’t expected to be shot at, to be surrounded by people with guns who were shouting conflicting orders to each other.

In all the sudden chaos, Tommy had momentarily been thrust back into 20-something years ago, when he had watched a fellow soldier die needlessly at his side, whilst he survived. It was like he could reach out, and the soldier would be at his fingertips, as if he could trace the surname Keller which was stained with blood at the man’s chest.

But when Tommy blinked, Julian’s motionless body was at his side, the man’s eyes unblinking and unseeing. There was blood on his chest, too, Tommy noticed distantly, despite the way he was squinting to see through the suddenly too bright sun. When the ringing in his ears faded, he was left with an aching jaw and a lightheaded feeling that made his chest hurt.

“Where’s the Scar? Hey! You listen to me, old man, where is the Scar?” One of the raiders yelled, her voice carrying over the faint ringing that still lingered in Tommy’s ears. He heard the sound of the safety on a gun being clicked off, and squinted past the sun in his eyes to see a woman glaring at him with bared teeth.

“The fuck scar ‘re you talking ‘bout?” Tommy asked, his words fumbling together the slightest bit as he spoke, his voice grating on his too-dry throat. He swallowed thickly, trying to piece his mind back together, trying to get his head back into gear, knowing he had to survive this. Maria would kill him, otherwise.

As he was counting the people in his sights, one of the men with a shotgun pointed towards him spoke up. “He’s lying! Where the hell is that damn Scar?” He spat, apparently disbelieving of him.

“What damn Scar?” Tommy yelled back, exasperated and frustrated, not to mention completely exhausted from whatever the hell was going on here.

“The kid, about yay-high,” The woman said, voice carrying over the sounds of the others grumbling, “Big ugly scars across their cheeks. That damn Scar.” She dragged a finger from the corner of her mouth up towards her eye, demonstrating the scar, before readjusting the grip on her gun to be more threatening.

One of the others took a step towards her, looking apprehensive as she took in the situation. “Kendra, I really don’t think he knows. Maybe we should get out of here.” The voice of reason said, her gun hanging limply at her side, whilst her hands were held out, gesturing towards where Tommy lay, still coming back to his senses.

Kendra shook her head, narrowing her brown eyes at him, and held a pale palm up to the woman who had approached, silencing her. “He knows something. We know the Scar headed out this way. I’m not giving up when we’ve come this far, Janet.”

Janet sighed, turning her head to look at Tommy almost with something close to pity.

But he was already forcing his head back into the soldier mindset, pushing down all of his lingering panic and the way he didn’t quite feel real in that moment. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to do so, but it was the first time in a while. When was the last time? Two years ago? Three? Trust these people to prove Maria’s worries correct.

He was formulating a plan of action when it happened, when their attention was drawn away by the sound of something soaring through the air, cutting through any conversation. They all twisted around to face the direction the arrow came from when it landed in the trunk of a tree above Tommy’s head, and they paid him no mind.

“Come on out, Scar! Show yourself!” Kendra yelled, before firing aimlessly into the forest surrounding them. A whistle came from within, letting her know that she’d missed her target. She turned to the group around her, and nodded her head at two groups of two, pointing them in opposite directions. Obviously, she was sending them to flank whoever this Scar was.

It was clear to Tommy that this was his chance to get out of the situation without having to take down all of these people alone, but in the few moments it had taken him to grasp the gun hidden in Julian’s boot, they had caught the Scar.

He was ready to leave. Tommy was already at his feet, backing away towards the path to Jackson, but he was stopped when the two who had gone to the left emerged from the trees with you kicking and yelling at them. You, the Scar they had been talking about, were a kid. Hell, you couldn’t have been much older than Ellie was when she’d arrived at Jackson. Surely you couldn’t have been the one they were after? The one they had just killed Julian for?

“Damn Scar doesn’t even know how to use the thing.” One of the men spat out, throwing what must have been your bow to the ground in front of you. You simply bared your teeth at him, making the scars along both of your cheeks crease. Tommy wasn’t oblivious to how painful and tender they looked, as if they weren’t very old.

“But you knew how to use it when you killed my husband, didn’t you?” Kendra sneered, leering over you and pointing her gun towards your head. She pressed it to your forehead, not pulling the trigger even when you paused in your struggling. When she moved away slightly, a glare on her face, there was a dent the shape of her gun left in your skin. “We got what we came here for. Let’s go. Bring it with us.”

Janet’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? To do what?”

“To get justice for Daniel. Did you forget?” Kendra asked, her voice a leering drawl as she took a step towards Janet whilst you resumed your struggling, trying to get towards where they had dumped your arrows alongside your bow.

”I didn’t agree to—to torturing some kid, Kendra. We didn’t even see what happened.” Janet stammered, her eyes wide at what the leader of the group was seemingly suggesting.

“The kid is a Scar, Janet. That’s enough for me.” One of the men responded, glaring at you with a ferocity Tommy didn’t know someone could have towards a child. Even if you had done what they’d suggested, there was probably a damned good reason, in Tommy’s eyes.

You glared straight back at him, eyes narrowed. “May she guide you home,” You said, seemingly kind enough, though it seemed pretty… cultish, to Tommy.

He’d heard of cults even before the Outbreak. Heard of religious fanatics who indoctrinated people and held them in a sheltered world, hidden away from real life. But it seemed to have gotten more extreme since the Apocalypse occurred, with new religions popping up all over the place. FEDRA crushed most of them, but it wasn’t unheard of for them to survive, to spread, much like the Infection itself.

Clearly, at your age, you’d had to have either been born into whatever crazy world you’d come from, or brought into it. You certainly weren’t old enough to be facing a group of seven people, all on your own. Even if one of them didn’t seem inclined to make you suffer, it was clear that Janet was okay with killing you.

“You little—” The man stepped forward, going towards you, as if you had said something truly offensive. You openly glared at him, refusing to cower away, but he was interrupted by Kendra.

“That’s enough, Clive. Let’s take this little apostate back to the other Scars, make an example of them.” She said, turning to face you from where she had been looking at the man. At her words, you seemed to clam up, your skin starting to take on a sheen of sweat, your eyes visibly widening. The stretch of the scars along your cheeks gave away the way in which you ground your teeth together. “Ah, there it is. Your little cult kicked you out, huh?” She smiled at your responding gulp.

Before Tommy could think any better of it, he was throwing himself into the haphazard plan he’d cooked up in his head. It wasn’t much. Hell, it wasn’t really anything, but he couldn’t leave you. You would be safe in Jackson, just as he would. He might have lost Keller, but he wouldn’t lose you. You didn’t have to die.

The only warning the group got was the click of the safety turning off, before Tommy was opening fire into their midst.

It was almost like a trance. Like he was on autopilot. He knew what he was doing, but he didn’t really feeling like it was actually him doing it. Tommy could feel the tension of him pressing on the trigger, but it was like he was watching on from the outside.

This wasn’t the first time he had experienced such a thing. He’s pretty sure it’s what made him so effective, each time he was put into life threatening situations. It was as if he could simply remove himself and watch on, as if he was a spectator. It meant that he didn’t think twice before putting a bullet between Kendra and Clive’s eyes, or sending any of the rest of their group to an early death.

By the time he came back to himself, he was standing on the trail, surrounded by bodies. Janet’s eyes stared up at him, a trail of blood gushing from the wound on her throat. Perhaps, if he had been fully conscious at the time, he would’ve felt guilty. But Tommy was never quite himself until he could get out of the situation that made him this way.

You stared at him, wide-eyed, your skin splattered with the blood of the man who had been shot dead behind you. As soon as Tommy opened his mouth, however, you rushed for your bow and the cluster of arrows, clumsily grabbing them and raising the bow towards him with shaking fingers.

“Woah, it’s okay.” Tommy said, his voice sounding wrong to his own ears, before he was dropping the gun and holding his hands up in surrender. Not that it meant much, considering it was out of ammunition. And considering how easily you had been caught, he’s not sure how well you can use that bow in close contact.

“Stay away from me.” You responded, though your voice trembled as it left your throat. You pulled the bowstring further, as if to compensate.

Now that Tommy was looking at you, rather than those surrounding you, he was noticing things he hadn’t seen before. You looked exhausted. There were bags underneath your eyes, and your skin looked dewy, unhealthy. From the looks of it, and the sound of your growling stomach, you were malnourished.

“Alright, now let’s just calm down here.” Tommy spoke, keeping his hands raised and unmoving. Your expression didn’t change, and he could see your fingers loosening on the arrow you had notched. “I’m guessin’ your name ain’t Scar.” You shook your head, your jaw clenching. “My name’s Tommy. I—I live in a little town ‘bout forty minutes east.”

“Okay,” You said, face stony. “So go back there.”

Tommy sighed, weighing up his options. On one hand, it seemed like you were giving him a free pass, and he needed to get back to Maria, needed to get Julian home. On the other hand, Tommy’s not sure he could just leave you out here, all alone, especially when you appear to have a target on your back. “Are there more of them? Coming after you?” He asked, instead of outwardly suggesting you go back to Jackson with him.

You shrugged, though the darting of your eyes towards the bodies sprawled around you suggested that there probably was. Tommy was choosing to believe that whatever happened wasn’t your fault. Especially considering these people were willing to torture you, so they surely couldn’t have been good guys.

He could see your grip on your bow slackening, like your arm was growing tired.

“I can get you supplies, if you’d like.”

“Just like that? I can’t give you anything.” You responded, eyebrows furrowing and giving you a confused expression. He supposed it made sense, not many people were charitable in the apocalypse.

“Just like that,” Tommy confirmed, trying to look as earnest as possible. Part of him wants you to accept, to agree to come to where he knows it’s safe, but the other part of him is hoping to hell that you have more survival instincts than that. “You saved my life, ‘s the least I could do.”

“But you—you already did that, for me. You killed the wolves.” You said with increasing confusion. You didn’t understand how this man worked. Back at the Island, only the Elders got to allocate supplies, and he certainly didn’t look like an Elder.

Despite his curiosity, Tommy elected not to ask about the so-called wolves. “Listen, kid—”

“I’m not a kid.”

“Right, ‘course not. My apologies. I—I could use a hand in getting my friend here back to his family,” Tommy said, stumbling over his words the slightest bit. It was the first time he’d really realised that Julian was dead, that he would have to go to his family and explain he wasn’t coming home. If it weren’t for his concern for you, that might have just sent Tommy into another reality once more. “If you wouldn’t mind helpin’ me out, I could fetch you some supplies.”

You still looked unsure, but you lowered your bow the slightest amount, squinting at Tommy as if he was going to change his mind or alter the deal, somehow. Finally, you removed the arrow from the bow, slipping it into the quiver that was on the ground, before you tied it around your waist. “Okay. It seems fair.” You decided, mostly because you were desperate to get more supplies, and you had no idea where the wolves’ camp would be, or if there would be more of them waiting for you.

When you made your hasty exit from your fellow Seraphites, you hadn’t accounted for all the people you would anger along the way. Kendra’s husband was killed by accident, though you could see why they would suspect you. It was another Seraphite — Mary, you believe — who had shot at you, only to miss and send an arrow through the man’s throat. When they discovered him, your face had been covered in his blood, and your bow had been clutched in your hand. Unfortunately, the WLF were renowned for not listening to reason. After all, they had been the ones to kill the Prophet, despite no wrongdoing on her part.

It made sense that they’d do the same to you.

However, you hadn’t been expecting them to follow you so far. In fact, you had no idea where you were going to run in order to get away from your people, until the wolves started chasing you and you ran in the opposite direction. Since then, it had been a battle of staying one step ahead of them.

Your upbringing meant that you didn’t need to rely on things from the Old World, like they did, which meant you could traverse the terrain without having to stop at stores and towns for supplies. You’d been surviving on what you could forage from the land, which was a much harder task when it was overrun with demons and had no farms to harvest from.

Through the whole situation, you could only be glad that it was the wolves chasing after you, and not your people. Sure, it would have been nice for your family to want you to stay, but the likelihood would have been that another Seraphite would’ve caught you much sooner. And they would drag you back to the Island to make an example out of you, too, you were sure. A statement to convey what happens to apostates.

“You headed anywhere specific?” Tommy asked casually, as you grasped a hold of Julian’s limp arm and hefted him upwards with a surprising amount of strength. He did the same on Julian’s other side, and the two of you set off.

“No.” You answered, not sparing him a glance.

Tommy clicked his tongue, and let the silence linger for a little while longer. Soon enough, after almost ten minutes of dragging Julian’s body through the woods, the two of you arrived at a nearby town. “You know how to ride a horse?” He questioned, coming to a stop outside of a building with an open garage door, displaying two horses inside. You only nodded. “Alright, then. Let me note down that we’re headed back, and then we’ll get him up on my horse with me. Sound alright to you?”

He was still in a blurred state, but Tommy vaguely noticed himself writing down a very shortened version of what had happened. It was as thorough as he could make it for being two sentences, but it would have to do. He didn’t even fully understand the situation, himself, but he signed a -T at the end of his entry before turning back to find you surveying the room.

You seemed almost… fascinated by the things you were looking at. The water filter, the coffee machine, all regular items that you could find in almost any town or city. You looked at each of them like they were something to figure out, something to understand. He decided it was best not to comment, and turned back to the book for a few more moments to let you have your fill of exploring the room.

As soon as he thought you’d had long enough, or, as soon as how long he was spending at the book was getting suspicious, he was ushering you towards the horses. His horse, Sadie, was the bigger of the two, and with your help, the two of you managed to get Julian over the back of her.

The ride back to Jackson was about thirty minutes at a leisurely pace, but Tommy was about ready to get back to Maria. Especially since he had no idea if there were more of the people you’d referred to as wolves. The last thing he needed was another fight, just when he was coming back to himself. He’d take another year fixing up houses and porches before having to experience losing his senses again, before being thrust into a time he had no desire to remember.

Still, he had high hopes that you were worth it.

Even more so when he looked over at you, to see that you were looking far more comfortable on the horse than you had been on the walk over to them. You looked content, almost. As if out here, on that horse, you were in your element. But he did have to wonder if you were concealing some sort of injury, with how much you had been wincing on the walk over. He hoped it was just the exhaustion.

About three minutes away from Jackson, Tommy finally spoke up over the steady sound of hooves against the ground. “Now, listen, these people ain’t always the friendliest, but don’t go and take it personally. Everybody just wants to stay safe. When we get there, I’ll help get you set up with some food and a place to sleep, and we’ll see where we go from there, alright?”

“Al—Alright.” You stuttered out, sounding nervous once more, the creases returning to your expression. He noticed the way you gripped the reins tighter, but he didn’t say a word.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

When the two of you rode through the open gates into Jackson, Tommy had expected the rush of people coming towards him.

He realises, a moment after the two of you are surrounded, that he probably should have warned you of what was going to happen. Sure, he’d warned you of the attitudes you were likely to be on the receiving end of, but he hadn’t told you about this. With the way he can see you physically stiffen, he knows he messed up.

“It’s okay,” He tried to reassure you, though he went mostly unheard through the gaggle of people around you, asking more questions than he could answer. “Let’s just have us some space, here, alright?” He told the people around him, to little avail. It was a buzz of worry and upset at the sight of Julian’s body, which he could understand, but Tommy wasn’t quite prepared to deal with that just yet.

Luckily for him, his wife came to his rescue soon enough.

“Everybody, move!” Maria yelled, her stern tone carrying over the mutterings and questions. People were more familiar with her than they were with Tommy, and she commanded a certain amount of respect that had the residents clearing out of her way. “You alright?” She murmured to Tommy, as soon as she was close enough, her hand steady and firm on his arm. Until that moment, he hadn’t even realised that he’d dismounted from his horse, that somebody had gotten Julian’s body down.

Tommy supplied her with a jerky nod, and she nodded in return, more understanding of what he was feeling than even he was himself.

“Let’s get these two to med. Somebody go and get Daniel, I’ll need to speak to him.” Maria said, two of the surrounding people immediately rushing off to go and get Daniel, who Tommy realised must be Julian’s next of kin. He decided not to think too much about it, just yet.

A man he knows from the stables approached him, reaching a hand out to hover in the air between them. “You okay, man? You need help getting to med?” Lincoln asked, brows creased in concern. His hands were dirty, probably from taking care of the horses in the stable during the early shift. Tommy was starting to think he looked far worse than he originally realised.

He saw somebody else approaching you, and watched as you took on a defensive stance, fingers tightening around your bow. “You need a hand?” They asked, kinder than Tommy had expected, and your face creased closer to confusion. He watched Maria approach, lay a hand on their shoulder and wave them off. Tommy dismissed Lincoln a moment later.

He walked over to the two of you, hands clenched into fists as he felt the tremors begin. Maria was explaining to you what was going to happen, her voice softened the slightest bit. “We’re going to get you to a doctor, just to check you’re okay, and then we’ll get you some food and whatever else you need. Sound alright?” She told you, waiting for your responding nod before gesturing for both you and Tommy to follow her. He didn’t miss the way you winced when you stepped forward on your right foot.

The walk was quiet, with most people throughout the town minding their own business, only the occasional person shouting to check everything was okay. Tommy sort of wished that you and Maria would chat, so the silence wasn’t so overwhelming. It was like he could still hear himself firing those bullets.

You kept to yourself through the walk to the medical building, only glancing around at the town when you believed nobody was looking. It was more concerning than anything, to Tommy. It was exactly as it had been in the building the horses were in, that same expression of wonder crossing your features, a curiosity that you tried to keep secret.

He was really trying to rein himself and his paternal feelings in, here, but it was a struggle. He was trying to reason with himself — Tommy had no idea why those people were after you. For all he knew, they could have been justified in having it out for you. It wouldn’t be the first time Tommy had heard about a kid being violent and what could be called evil. Especially in a world like this.

But Tommy had done awful things in his lifetime, before and after the world ended, so he had no right to judge you without knowing your life. You were a kid, and that was enough. You didn’t deserve to be hunted down like some kind of animal before being tortured and sent to slaughter. It wasn’t right. And sure, he hadn’t been right very much in his life, but Tommy had sworn to himself that he’d do right by Maria, so here he was, with you, trying to be better.

God, he was always trying to be better.

He hoped saving your life wouldn’t prove to be as futile as all his other attempts to be better, because it never seemed to stick when it came to Tommy Miller. He was always one step away from getting worse, always a bruised ego away from making a mistake, always a moment away from losing himself, just as Maria said he would. It was exhausting. It was a never-ending cycle that Tommy had been battling since he was a kid, and to think he had made so little progress by now, when he was old and decaying? It was disheartening. It made his survival feel futile. What good was surviving if he couldn’t let go of his past? If he couldn’t learn to live with what had happened, all those years ago? How much longer could he expect to survive if he couldn’t keep his head in the game when something unexpected happened?

“Tommy.” Maria said, pulling his mind away from his spiralling thoughts, which were quickly turning to self deprecation. She looked just as concerned as she had when he’d returned to Jackson, that familiar crease to her brow, the wrinkles beside her lips deepening into a frown. He hummed in response, taking in the fact that they had entered the medical building — not quite a hospital, but the closest thing they could have to one. “Let Henry take a look at you, alright? I’m taking them to Cassie.” She told him, watching him closely for any signs that he wouldn’t be okay without her, but he only nodded.

Henry was a good man. Almost a fully qualified doctor when the Outbreak happened, which meant he was the closest thing they had to a medical professional. And he was good at what he did, Tommy would give him that. He’d brought more than a dozen medical books back to Jackson for the man, who had a craving to learn more, to save more people. Henry had certainly fixed Tommy up on more than one occasion.

And it helped that Henry was familiar with certain… unspoken psychiatric conditions. He knew what Tommy was in for the moment that Maria escorted him to the man’s door. Henry knew exactly what had happened by the way Tommy’s hand shook and his forehead sheened with sweat. It made things easier for Tommy, to not have to explain himself.

Instead, Henry prescribed him a week’s worth of expired painkillers for the aches and pains that would come shortly, and he handed Tommy a glass to drink from. He stitched the wound on Tommy’s cheekbone and said nothing as he breathed through the pain, as he clenched his trembling fingers into a fist and kept his eyes on the poster that covered the opposite wall.

When Henry finished, Tommy gave him a brief thank you, before he was exiting the room with an inhale still rattling in his chest. It was a relief to let that breath out, to exhale and feel something akin to safety as he headed towards Cassie’s space. It wasn’t far, and Tommy was surprised he hadn’t heard the commotion whilst in Henry’s room.

He entered after a brief knock to see you curled up with your bow clutched in a fist, whilst Cassie and Maria stood on the opposite end of the room with placating hands held out towards you. Despite the exhaustion filling his very bones, Tommy’s brows furrowed in concern for you, that feeling of worry gnawing at his chest.

“Woah, hey, everythin’ alright in here?” He asked, paying Maria no mind as she gave him a stern but concerned glare. He chose to pay attention to you instead, to the way your face was crumpled defensively, the way you seemingly tried to shield yourself from Cassie and Maria. From him. If you’d have given him your name, he would’ve said it then, in an attempt to connect with you. But you hadn’t, and you’d reacted badly to him calling you kid, so he was at a bit of a loss.

You glared over at the two women who had been trying to help you, looking all the more like a cornered animal. “I didn’t agree to—to you using your old world things on me!” You spat out, recoiling as if they’d done something truly awful. Tommy didn’t really understand what you were talking about, but figured that maybe to you, they had.

“Okay, alright, let’s just take a deep breath here.” Tommy told you, a hand out towards Maria and Cassie as if he was mediating the situation. He supposed that Maria would just be glad that he wasn’t in too bad of a mindset. “You don’t have to do anythin’ you don’t wanna do, you hear? We’re just trying to help you, but we’ll go at your pace. Sound alright?”

You nodded after a moment of hesitation, without wavering in your expression.

“Okay.” Tommy said with an exhale, mostly of relief as you uncurled slightly. “How about that food and some sleep, then?” He offered, relaxing further when you perked up the slightest bit. He imagined that you were probably starving from whatever chase you had been involved in, and so Tommy was prepared to give you just about whatever food you could ask for. He was glad to see your grip loosen on the bow at the mention of food.

Maria stepped forwards, unwavering in the face of your tense expression, and placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder, face softened. “The garage behind us is empty.” She said, an offer, if Tommy had ever heard one. He smiled at her, the gesture tight and tense after the day he’d had, but it was true nonetheless. “I can go to the canteen.” She added, nodding her head towards the door behind him.

“Sounds good to me,” Tommy said, his creased expression loosening at his wife’s support. “How’s about we go and get you settled, then? And Maria’ll bring along some food for you.”

“Sounds… good.” You settled on, almost reluctantly, as if you were copying Tommy’s language. He sure hoped you didn’t do that too much. He could remember how many times Joel would scold him, all those years ago, for teaching Sarah all of the bad words he knew of. He was well known for having the mouth of a sailor.

Tommy nodded, gesturing towards the door for you to go first. Before he left, he turned to Cassie, who had watched the whole situation in silence, and thanked her for her time. She smiled at him uncertainly, still not very confident in her abilities despite learning from Henry for close to two years. Tommy couldn’t imagine that you and your lack of cooperation would be helpful for those confidence issues, but no matter.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

There wasn’t really a grand tour to give you, Tommy had said, when letting you through a gate into what was apparently his garden. He seemed… sheepish, almost, but mostly, he seemed tired. You could certainly relate to that. When showing you to the place you’d be staying for the night, he had explained how the house on the other end of the garden was his and Maria’s own. Strangely, he had offered for you to come in should you need them, or need anything at all.

It all seemed strange to you.

People weren’t meant to be like, well, this.

Your whole life, you had been told how the world worked, how people worked, by your family, the Elders, everyone. And sure, it had been true for each of the wolves you had encountered, but Tommy seemed different, somehow. On the walk through his town you’d seen their gardens, which were reminiscent of the ones back on the island. Though you were pretty sure they could’ve been improved. Still, it was… odd. Your parents had always told you that people who didn’t seek the Prophet’s guidance were stuck in the past, but from what you’d seen? You weren’t sure what to believe.

Tommy had been violent when you met him. But he had also been… kind. If that was the correct word to describe it. He had also seemed haunted by his own violence, afterwards, which was almost reassuring to you.

Maybe that was why you hadn’t run the moment the man who had been holding you had fallen. Perhaps the haunted look in his eyes was the very reason you had lingered. What else could it have been? These people were supposed to be animalistic. They were supposed to be reliant on the Old World, on what nature had gone to drastic lengths to eradicate.

Sure, their ways of healing screamed of the Old World, so unlike the herbs and salves you were used to, but you were starting to think that some of these Old World things weren’t as terrible as you were led to believe. After the… ritual, the rainwater that had been used to ‘soothe’ the carvings on your face had done very little, and in the deepest parts of your mind, you had always secretly wondered if the Old World’s healing could’ve helped. Even now, the slowly scarring cuts along your cheeks wreaked discomfort across you.

Besides, out from underneath the watchful eye of the other Seraphites, you could admit to yourself that the Old World technology interested you. At the very least, you found yourself able to look at what surrounded you, at what people used to be so reliant upon. It was curiosity, eating away at you, that you were finally able to indulge now that you were alone.

Even in this small garage, you couldn’t help but be interested in the lamp that lit up the farthest side of the room, bathing it in a yellowish glow that slowly started to reach you. You were so used to the flickering light of fire that the steady glow this was giving off made you feel uneasy. It was all just so new, which was ironic, really, given that the Elders had dubbed it old.

Despite being kicked from the island, from the Seraphites, there was still the inherent feeling of wrongness about it all. You had only slept on an actual mattress a handful of times in your entire life, resigned to the bedding made of straw or whatever else your family scrounged up. It was too squishy, too bouncy, and you found yourself laying on the hard flooring rather than relax into something soft. Perhaps it would’ve helped the ache in your back from napping in trees and ditches, but you weren’t ready to find out. You still felt as if your parents would jump out from around the corner to scold you, to reinforce the way of the Seraphites, the way the Prophet had foretold.

You couldn’t remove the stillness of their expressions from your mind. The way they hadn’t even grimaced as the Elder cut into your skin, carved the flesh beneath his aging blade, until you were crying and flinching away from the hands which held you. It was chilling.

You had known, of course, that the ceremony was coming.

It always does for those who finally reach the age in which they can finally become a soldier. You had heard the screams of your neighbour when he had turned of age, had seen the reddened skin of his cheeks as they healed from the Elder’s blade. You had seen the change in him as soon as they turned from wounds to scars, the way he gained that same stillness that your parents retained.

The idea that that could be you was terrifying.

When your mind became quiet, you could feel the stillness creeping up on you, trying to leech into the depths of your mind. You feared becoming the kind of numb which would allow you to be the faithful soldier they had wanted. Wasn’t life the very thing the Prophet was seeking? How far would you be willing to go, in her name? If you had allowed the stillness to take over you, you feared you wouldn’t like the answer.

Even still, it was hard not to miss what had been your home for your whole life.

You missed the familiarity, the community. You missed knowing every inch of your home, missed being able to visualise every tree and building from your memory. You missed having a home. As nice as everyone here appeared, namely Tommy, you knew well enough that people were never as nice as they seemed.

With a sigh, you closed your eyes, resting against the cold ground, and resigned yourself to leaving as soon as possible when you woke back up.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Tommy knew this moment was coming.

He knew that, no matter how much he prayed to a god he no longer believed in, he wouldn’t be able to get out of this. Of bearing his worst moments for Maria to see. Of being vulnerable with his wife, in a way he never thought he would be able to.

Maria looked after him. He knew that. Just as he looked after her. That’s what their marriage was. That’s what they had promised one another in an exchange of vows that Tommy was determined to never break. So, logically, he knew that she only asked because she needed to know, because she had to protect him and she knew he would keep it all bottled up if she didn’t ask.

But it was still hard to face her, to look at her concerned face, pinched eyebrows, and voice the fact that she was right. It was probably a matter of pride, Tommy thought. How could he admit to her that he had failed? That he thought he was capable and he wasn’t? He didn’t want her to coddle him, though he knew that Maria wasn’t exactly one for coddling. He wanted, more than anything, to be okay.

He wanted to be able to go out on a patrol without there being a risk of him losing his senses, losing his mind. He wanted Maria to be able to rely on him, to know that he could do whatever she asked of him. He wanted for Maria to not worry so much about him. He wanted to hear loud noises without his heart pounding and his palms sweating. He wanted to be the same man he was when he could take on ten men at once without blinking, without there being any risk of him losing.

Maria didn’t marry that man, but sometimes, Tommy wished she did.

“So, the kid?” She asked, breaking through the thoughts that were quickly spiralling. He blinked, not expecting that to be her question. Tommy was waiting for her to ask about Julian, the man that he had gotten killed. Not you, who was still asleep in the garage behind their house. “How’d that happen?”

Tommy cleared his throat. “I, uh— Me ‘n Julian got ambushed. They shot him dead before we could even grab our guns, and they were askin’ me about some Scar. As if I had any idea what the hell that meant.” He explained, voice gruff and sounding strange to his own ears. “They were gettin’ real agitated, probably a minute away from shootin’ me when the—the kid shot an arrow, got their attention. Didn’t take ‘em long to find them, and that was the Scar they were talking about.”

Maria’s brows furrowed, as if she was getting irritated herself. Tommy was wise enough to realise it wasn’t at him.

“They were goin’ to— fuck— torture and kill that goddamn kid, Maria. I just went into autopilot, and I killed them all. All of the ones there, at least. I don’t know if there’s more of ‘em, the kid wasn’t sure, but these people… they didn’t even know what happened.” Tommy said angrily, his words coming out with an aggression that Maria raised her eyebrows at. Tommy didn’t tend towards anger. Not really. He got upset and he got even, usually with a sort of passiveness about him. He was usually resigned to what he had to do, not so angry. The situation must’ve gotten to him more than Maria had realised.

“Okay,” Maria said, calm voice soothing Tommy’s frayed nerves, and she placed her hand on his and squeezed. “I’ll send out a patrol to the surrounding areas. And we’ll send a team to clear out the bodies. You got a number?”

He absentmindedly squeezed her hand in return as he replied, “Seven.”

She nodded, feeling her heart tighten at his expression.

Maria never liked sending him out on patrols, and especially without his older brother. Tommy always came back more himself when he went with Joel, rather than the shell that he became when patrolling with other people. It’s not that he wasn’t capable, Maria knew that he was, hell, she had seen that he was. But sometimes doing what you have to in order to survive just doesn’t get easier.

She can remember when she first pried the information of his time in the military from him. She can remember the way his eyes had looked far away, the way he became… distant. It wasn’t easy for him to talk to her about it, but he did it. He managed to explain to her what it had been like for him, all of these years.

Tommy fell into the role of soldier easily. It was being out of that role that he found difficult.

His time with the Fireflies certainly hadn’t helped. All of these battles and wars… for what? None of them had achieved much, and Tommy was all too aware of that. It was just bloodshed for the sake of bloodshed. Remembering, for Tommy, was the worst part. It left him with shaking hands and trembling lips, sweat-soaked shirts and a gaping feeling in his chest as if it was him who had been shot.

It was easy to love Tommy, for Maria. It was easy to look at him and see the man deserving of love and support. It was easy to trust him, to know he would do anything to survive, to come home. But it wasn’t easy for her to watch him battle himself, battle his past, his present. It wasn’t easy to send him on patrols, knowing how much he struggled because of them.

But Tommy, the stubborn Southern man that he was, refused not to go when they needed him. Even though he would be better off staying in Jackson, letting somebody else go, he couldn’t do it. It wasn’t who he was. He was a soldier, a survivor. He couldn’t handle people questioning that. So, she sent him, because she loved him, and that was easy.

“Jesus, Maria, what am I doing here?” He murmured, pressing their clasped hands to his forehead. “What the hell am I gonna do with some kid? As if we don’t have enough on our hands. As if you don’t.” Tommy continued, mostly muttering, shaking his head and heaving a deep sigh.

“Hey,” Maria said, interrupting him, and crouching so she could look up towards his bowed head. She held his hand tighter, pulling it away from his face. “You’re being my husband. And I love you,” She told him, squeezing his fingers tightly, smiling up towards him. “I would never want you to leave behind anybody who deserved a chance, especially this kid. You’ve given them a real chance here, and that’s not something to regret.”

Tommy sighed once more, but nodded, pressing his free hand to the side of Maria’s face to lean forward and kiss her forehead. He lingered for a moment, eyes closed, before squeezing her hand and pulling away. “The kid needs real help.” He admitted, watching his wife tilt her head from side to side before murmuring her agreement. “Not sure we got that kinda help here.”

“Well, we’ll do our best. If they can’t find it here, I don’t think they’ll find it anywhere.” She responded, standing up and cringing at the clicking of her knees. “Now, c’mon,” Maria said, pulling Tommy to his feet, “Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

When you woke up, the sky was bright, sun shining behind clouds that covered the sky. Your back was still aching, your bones creaking as you stretched out, your whole body protesting at the idea of getting up.

But you knew you needed to get out of here, to get somewhere that provided some sense of safety, which you imagined would be far away. And you had a creeping worry in the back of your mind that your hosts would change their minds about your presence, so you definitely didn’t want to overstay your welcome. So, despite your eyes itching with exhaustion, and your entire skeleton screaming with aches and pains, you got to your feet.

Your things weren’t out of arms reach, so it took you no longer than a mere moment to gather them all. Your bow was comfortable in your hand, despite your slightly poor skills using it, and the weight of the quill at your shoulder was familiar. Your makeshift bag was far too light to be comfortable, reminding you of your lacking supplies, but it would be better to collect supplies on the way, than risk staying too long.

The moment you opened the door, you were squinting against the bright light of the sky, your eyes burning as you took in the surrounding area. Lights were on in Tommy and Maria’s house, which you could see through the window, and there was the faint sound of movement from a few streets over.

It was hard to face the journey ahead when you were exhausted down to your very bones and you had no destination. But what choice did you have? You were just planning to go the opposite way from where you had come from, and hope for the best. Though you weren’t sure what the best even could be, considering there were no other Seraphites you could go to. And though you weren’t welcome with them, you couldn’t shake the beliefs that were put into your head from your youth. Even with your raging curiousity, you weren’t sure you could adapt to such a drastic change.

“Hey,” Tommy called from the doorway of his house, one arm resting on the doorframe and the other holding the door open. “Not heading out already, are ya?” He asked, eyebrows raised as you squinted towards him, brows furrowing.

“Yes, I am.” You answered firmly, squeezing your bow in your hand.

Tommy sighed, sucking his teeth. “Well, just hang on there, alright? Let me get my boots on and I’ll get you those supplies I owe you.” He told you, not waiting for a response before he was heading into his house, the door banging shut behind him.

You considered, for more than a moment, just leaving while he was in there. But it didn’t seem like a good idea to piss of the man who had shot seven people dead in the span of a few minutes. Despite him saying he owed you supplies, you still couldn’t help but feel like you owed him. Surely him killing those who had been hunting you accrued more debt than you saving him from being shot by said people, and helping transport a dead body. That was seven lives in exchange for one. It didn’t make sense, the more you thought about it.

“Alright,” Tommy said, stepping down and heading towards you. “Shall we?” You nodded.

It was a little while before anybody spoke, the walk continuing in a suffocating sort of silence. Tommy, who was debating how best to go about broaching the subject of you staying without making it seem like you have to, was uncomfortably quiet, his mouth opening and closing more than once.

His gait was slow, slower than it had been when leaving the site of the WLF slaughter, at least, but it was better for your aching bones and weak joints. You didn’t mind the slow walk as much when you thought about the journey you had ahead of you. It was better to conserve energy now, rather than use it all up before you had even made any progress in getting away. Especially since you couldn’t quell the anxiety you had about any loitering wolves, looking for even more revenge.

“You should fix your gardens.” You said, as the two of you passed the greenhouses which housed most of the crops that the people of Jackson relied on. There were people in there now, tending to the various crops that had been planted, some being harvested for the evening already.

Tommy hummed, slowing further to look at the gardens you were talking about. He was surprised to see it was the greenhouses that you were talking about. He waited for you to elaborate, his brows raised.

“Your yield is down,” You stated, slowly, as if confused as to why Tommy was questioning you, to why he didn’t already know. He was actually confused about how you knew about this year’s poor harvest. “You needed to rotate your crops. And plant them further apart.” You told him, your tone telling him that what you were saying was obvious.

“Huh,” He said, hands resting on his hips as he drew to a stop. “We don’t got many experts on farming here in Jackson. Everybody does their best, pulls their weight, but none of us did this, back in the day.” Tommy explained, sounding a touch amused by the situation, like he was still in disbelief about what his life had come to.

This information didn’t surprise you. The prophet had said that people relied too much on their technology. It was why being independent from technology was so important to the Seraphites. You were taught from a young age how to survive by relying on the world around you. These people, clearly, were not. They were doing better than a lot of other places, though, from what you had seen. The WLFs, for example.

But that wasn’t to mean that this place was good enough, in Seraphites standards. Their use of electricity would have immediately caused the Elders string these people up to make examples of them. Electricity, more than anything else, was frowned upon. Though it often seemed unachievable. To you, anyway. You had never been taught how it worked, for good reason, the Elder’s had always said. It was forbidden. More so than anything else that came from the Old World.

Weapons were allowed, provided for the soldiers on the front lines to even the playing field with the Wolves, though that had always seemed hypocritical.

It was hard to shake such beliefs, no matter how hypocritical, even after leaving. After all, it’s not like you left because you stopped believing in the Prophet’s message. Perhaps, if she still lived, you would’ve stayed.

“We could use an expert.” Tommy mentioned, when you stayed quiet, not finding an appropriate response to his previous comment. “That could be you, if you wanted.”

“You said that you’d give me supplies, so that I—I can leave.” You said, voice accusatory as you spun around to face him, brows furrowed and hand itching to clench around your bow, splinters digging into your fingertips.

Tommy’s hands immediately went up, as if surrendering, and he quickly spoke. “And you can, ‘course you can. I just meant that, well, if you wanted, you could stay. We could take care of ‘ya, and you could help out around here like everyone else. ‘S all.”

Strangely, you found yourself wanting to stay.

Not because you trusted him, or anybody, but because you were already exhausted, sick of the running. Sick of fighting for your life simply because you wanted it to be your own. You didn’t want to be a soldier, not after you learned what soldiers did. You wanted to settle down, to sleep, more than anything.

It didn’t feel like an option for you. You didn’t feel like you had any options. Would you be running for your whole life? For whatever you had left of it? Would you ever feel safe again?

Somehow, you doubted it. Perhaps you had done something in a prior life to deserve this. To warrant this treatment, this life. Why else would this be happening to you? Everything that had happened to you had to have happened for a reason. It had to. You needed something to have justified all of this.

“No, I—I need to leave. Before more wolves come for me. Before the Seraphites…” You trailed off, voice shakier than you would’ve liked it. You didn’t need to justify yourself to him, did you?

Tommy stared at you for a long moment, before nodding his head. His arms hung by his sides, before one was scratching the scruff of hair on the side of his cheek. “If that’s what you want. ‘S your choice, kid.” He told you, mustering up the most reassuring smile he could manage. “Well, then, s‘pose we’d better grab you those supplies. You’re losin’ light.”

You followed him when he set off once more, a funny feeling blooming in your chest as you looked at the swirling clouds above you.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

▹— extra a/n: hello lovely people. so this is VERY different from the seraphite!reader fic i promised so long ago. but it’s here!! the abrupt ending is because i started struggling with it, and i didn’t want to drag it on when there’s so much of this part that i like :’) im really really considering doing a part two at LEAST with this fic, perhaps where the reader finds some sense of home?? but idk if yall want that. anyway. i dont know much about ptsd and the experience people have, so i am not saying this representation is accurate in any way!! but this is how i see tommy thinking and how he and maria juggle this struggle yk? i love tommy’s character almost as much as joel’s and i think he deserves to have some more… in-depth ??? writing about his struggles??? yeah. well. that’s that. hope you guys enjoyed regardless!!!

also for those of you on the pedro taglist, i tagged you in this bc it’s tlou and will likely include joel if i do a part 2, but if you don’t wanna be tagged in stuff like this just let me know! love yall!

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