#rachel wherever you are this is also for you - | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sleepyconfusedpotato · 5 months

Text

Run Free

art by me!

Price, Gaz, and Ghost visits the MacTavish Estate baring the news.

Word Count: 2.1k words Warning: Major character death, angst and comfort. Note : I wrote this fic a few days after I finished the campaign. I've always thought it weird why the 141 boys had Soap's ashes when I've always seen Soap as someone with a family and a had good relationship with them, especially since it's canon that Soap's cousin brought him to the SAS base several times as a kid. Here's my interpretation of that fact, on how Soap's urn ended up with the boys.

Price, Gaz, and Ghost wore their dress uniforms from head to toe, finding themselves in front of the MacTavish Estate in Glasgow. It was… big, to say the least. Soap’s family was known not only because a number of people from the family are serving in the British Royal Armed Forces, but also the fact that they are 7th generation furniture company - MacTavish Furnitures. Lots of members of the family are veterans turned businessmen, carpenters, or woodworkers. It is a common cycle of life for them.

As Ghost and Gaz stood, Price climbed the stairs and wore his beige beret, breathing deeply through his nose before letting the air out to prepare himself, lifting his hand to knock on the wooden door. The captain heard faint noises of multiple footsteps from multiple people and some voices of heavy Scottish accent from inside the house. He waited for a moment, until the door finally opened, but he found no one in front of him.

“Who are ya?”

A little voice spoke from under him, prompting Price to look down. He found a little girl with blonde hair no taller than his knees. She’s absolutely drenched from head to toe in a blue swimming attire and had to bend her neck so high to see him. He bent down to his knees to match her height, before saying,

“Hello. I’m… My name is John.”

“John? Like Uncle Johnny?” Her little voice said, face gleaming with happiness at the name.

“Yes. Like Uncle Johnny.” Price smiled, chuckling lightly. The girl grinned at his smiling face. “May I see your dad? Or mum?”

“Phoebe MacTavish! Get your wee feet here before I pick your legs off of that floo–! Oh, Hello there.” A new voice came from in front of him, revealing herself to be an old woman with dark brown hair, though with white strands and the same quizzical brow that reminded Price of Soap. She looked strong, nonetheless, wearing a green shirt and knitted vest with a towel hanging from one of her shoulders, obviously to dry the little girl after a session of swimming in their estate’s pool.

Price stood back up, greeting the lady. “Mrs. MacTavish.”

The old woman looked at his attire up and down, and Price swore that he saw the gears rotating inside her mind. She looked down at the girl and gave her the white towel, “Phoebe. Go inside and dry yourself. Find your Da, Aunt Rachel, and Uncle Hugh, too. Tell them to meet me at the front door, yeah?” The little girl nodded and ran inside, disappearing into the house as Price heard a faint yelling from the same child, calling for the stated family members.

Now, the lady in front of him walked closer to the doorway, face to face with him. She’s undoubtedly no taller than 5’7”, a height that might have been receding as time went by, but you could spot a proud MacTavish wherever you see one. Price offered his hand for a handshake as she accepted. “Captain John Price from the 22 SAS Regiment.”

“Joan MacTavish.” She replied. Price noticed the name as the name on Soap’s file as his guardian, with the relation being marked with ‘Aunt’. “What brings you here, Captain?” Her face looked neutral like it wasn’t the first time a soldier with a full dress uniform knocked on this wooden door.

Just before Price could say what he wanted to say, a deep voice called to her. “Mum?” One woman and two men with a frame similar to him showed up from inside the house. One man was around Ghost’s age, one was around his age, while the woman in a bun looked older than him, though looking very vibrant and professional. All of them had the same thick eyebrows – Family traits, he supposed – and clearly looked like honourable but firm Scottish people. Upon seeing Price, though, their faces changed from confusion to realization.

Price remembered that Soap was not the first MacTavish in the SAS. In fact, there was another member of the family, Oliver MacTavish, who died in the line of duty a decade ago. Price remembered the way Soap had told the story of Ollie, his cousin, bringing his little arse to the SAS base - however unpermitted it was – and how Price had busted Soap multiple times for applying with a fake age.

“Rachel MacTavish.” The eldest one spoke.

“Hugh MacTavish.” The elder man said, followed by the younger.

“Scott MacTavish. That was my daughter, Phobe.” They all shook hands with Price.

He repeated his greeting, before Rachel started,

“I've seen the likes of you before. I recognize that beret even from a mile away." She said firmly. "Out with it."

The captain's breath hitched as he cleared his throat, preparing himself to deliver the news. And so, he began.

"On November 21st, our target had placed an active bomb inside the underwater tunnel that connects the UK and France. During our attempt to defuse the bomb, the target sneaked from behind our line of sight…"

The whole family's face changed, Joan's eyes looked glassy with tears seeming like she knew of the incoming words.

"And I regret to inform you… that Sergeant John MacTavish has died in the line of duty."

Ghost, without his mask and black face paint around his eyes, and Gaz with their dress uniforms and beret could only stand from the base of the stairs, watching and hearing as Joan's cry of anguish tear through the morning sky.

"Oh Lord. Johnny. Johnny. My baby, Johnny." Joan repeated his name like a chanting to the sky. "Why must You take him so soon? Why must he join Ollie so soon?"

The whole family hugged their mother as she wailed, her knees looked like it was giving up. Gaz gritted his teeth to strengthen himself, not wanting to break down to cry himself.

As the family cried, Price could only stand still, letting the news sink in for the family. His job as the leader of the team was done, at that point. He delivered the news to his family.

"The bomb…Did he defuse it?" Hugh questioned in the middle of his sobs.

"He–" Price swallowed, remembering the way Makarov had killed him. "We were both defusing the bomb, John guiding me along the way as he was the demolition expert."

"He protected me, Sir. Our target was about to shoot me, before John stopped him - and got killed instead. The target ran away, but me and Sergeant Garrick managed to defuse the bomb thanks to his prior guidance, saving thousands of lives underneath the 30-mile underwater tunnel." Price answered as Rachel looked up at his face, anger and denial filling her in an instant.

She raised her hand in such a way that Price knew that she was about to slap him. Price still opened his eyes, fully welcoming the slap before her hand stopped.

Rachel bit her lips so hard that it might bleed, lowering her arm.

"...Why does it have to be Johnny? Why do you get to live and he doesn't?" She barely whispered in a shaky voice, going back to wiping her face again. “Why Johnny…?”

And Price asked that question every single hour ever since his death.

Why Soap, and not him?

—

The MacTavishes requested for Soap's body to be sent to Scotland, where they held a memorial at the MacTavish estate to which they promptly honoured. The number of family members participating was not that many, considering only the immediate family attended. Price, Soap, and Ghost joined them, and even escorted the family as they travelled to the crematorium.

After the whole procession finished – that took the entire day – the family finally had possession of the urn containing Soap's ashes, and they invited the three back to the estate, where they now sit inside the guest room and tea in front of them with Joan and Rachel, his urn placed on a table beside Joan.

That was the day they learned that Soap was actually the son of Joan's late husband's younger sister. Soap's mother – her sister-in-law, died when she birthed Soap, while Soap's father died during an accident in a factory before his own birth.

Soap had been raised by his uncle's family since his infancy, growing up in the MacTavish house as a strong and firm Scott under the wing of the eldest brother, Oliver.

"He's always wanted to be like Ollie, that wee kid," Rachel told them after holding a photo album containing photos of Soap when he was a baby in his late uncle's arms, a photo of him and his older cousins playing with mud, photos of his graduations from school, and photos of him passing the test to be a part of SAS along with his cousin, Oliver. "Said he didn't want to go to school. Just visit the army base every day. It's what he dreamed of."

Ghost, still in his dress uniform, felt the most vulnerable in that room - Without his mask, in front of Johnny's family. He also had been in agony for the past day, because he'd failed to cover Johnny's back. He had one job at that time, and he failed, catastrophically. He only sat there with his hands joined in his lap, not daring to look at the family in the eyes.

"We're very thankful for John's service with us. He was the best there is." Gaz spoke, "John's memory will live with us."

"Thank you, Sergeant Garrick." Joan smiled as she looked up. "I heard you share the same quarters with him in the barracks. I hope he wasn't too much of a naughty boy."

The sergeant chuckled lightly at that, "Well. Soap wasn't someone who could stay away from mischief too long, but I assure you that he's an absolute joy and inspiration to be around." Hearing Joan's laughter cured a little part in Gaz, as the only thing he'd heard from her was the sound of her cry. He could at least pride himself in knowing that he could share Soap's merry nature.

As they share memories, Price finished his tea before he stood up from the sofa, followed by the other two. "Well. We must take our leave, Ma'am. Thank you for the tea."

"Anytime." Joan spoke as the soldiers started to leave the sofa, heading towards the main room and front door.

"Which one of ya’s is ‘LT’?"

Rachel’s voice stopped the men in their tracks, particularly Ghost’s. All three men turned around, finding the woman holding Soap’s urn in her hands. Price saw how Ghost's face turned to that of a deer in a spotlight, so he put his hand behind Ghost’s back to lightly push him towards Rachel, but Ghost’s hesitancy was apparent in the way he slowly walked.

“...That would be me, Ma’am.” Ghost’s deep voice rumbled softly as he looked down to Rachel’s height. The lady herself observed him up and down with a negative face that she could convince him that he was standing there naked.

“Yer tryin’ so hard to make yourself look small for such a big man. It’s almost dreading.” She started, her hips shifting. “I’ve been the CEO of MacTavish Furnitures since my da’ passed away and Ollie decided to go to the army, and I read people like a book. For someone whom Johnny admired the most – and repeatedly spoke about – you don’t look like the LT I heard from him.” Ghost was starstruck at the statement. Soap, talking about him to his family? “I expected you to be cocky and exude pride in your steps, but all I’m seein’ is just a pathetic, sad bloke.”

Ghost stood still at those comments. No one practically had ever roasted him this badly in front of his teammates. He wondered if he showed up in his other attire, she’d dare to say all this. But then again, if someone got to do it, he was glad that it came from an honourable woman of the MacTavish bloodline.

What caught him off guard was her hands stretching towards him, holding Soap’s urn in front of his chest. Ghost looked down at the metal container, looking confused as he looked up again to face Rachel. He thought the MacTavishes were going to hold on to Soap’s urn, and they get to keep Soap’s dog tags. However, clearly, the current head of the family had other wishes.

“Take Johnny with ya. Being trapped inside this urn for eternity in this old house would be the last thing he wanted.” The woman started with a shaky voice, her eyes starting to brim with tears again. Seeing Soap’s character, Ghost could understand that completely.

“He’s… the proudest he could ever be when he’s with ya’s." Rachel continued.

"So I ask you, as our brother’s comrades, to hold on to Johnny – and free him.”

Ghost’s eyes opened wide in surprise, still couldn’t fathom how fondly Soap must've talked about his teammates, especially him, to his family that they’d give him his ashes. Ghost lifted his hands to carefully receive the urn.

After breathing deeply, Ghost stood straight, holding Soap firmly.

“We will, Ma’am.”

—

The three of them walked towards the car parked just outside the MacTavish estate with Ghost holding Soap’s urn in his hands. They all took off their berets and entered the car, Price the designated driver, Gaz riding shotgun, while Ghost sat in the backseat.

“So what do we do with him, Sir?” Gaz rotated his body to look at Soap’s urn on Ghost’s hands, same as Price.

Ghost contemplated in his mind, staring at the metal urn, before speaking, “Where’s Johnny’s place of birth?”

Price answered immediately as he’s the one who took care of Soap’s documents. “Isle of Skye.”

“Soap said there’s a beautiful cliff where he and his cousins used to go to play. Endless sea where the eyes could see.” Gaz added.

“Then that’s where we’re goin’.” Ghost spoke with finality. “And then we’ll let Johnny go.”

Price and Gaz nodded to each other. "Alright, Soap. Let's get you home." The captain started the car and stepped on the gas, beginning their journey towards the Isle of Skye.

---

I'm not okay. Thank you for reading! (T_T) reblogs and comments of your thoughts are much appreciated!

692 notes · View notes

youremyheaven · 18 days

Text

Mrigashira: Obsessive & Obsessed Over

TW: suicide, rape, death, murder, abuse

This is part 2 of my Mrigashira series. For part 1, go here.

Rachel McAdams, Mrigashira Moon

I want to explore the nature of Mrigashira in relation to the obsessiveness it inspires in others and often how obsessive it can be. Mrigashira's mythology is tied to escape, changing form and running away. As I discussed extensively in part 1, truth-telling is part of a Mrigashira native's purpose. They are simply built that way. This is also a key part of the reason why others tend to be so magnetically drawn to them and are often driven to the point of obsession for them.

Mrigashira possesses a serpent yoni and serpents are known to represent transformation and renewal. The Kundalini is represented by a coiled serpent. Serpents have always been associated with temptation, dangerous allure, truth unveiling and change. People are drawn to Mrigashira natives because unconsciously they want to embody the freedom and honesty of these Martian individuals but having so many people pulling at your energy means you lose the sense of self and feel corrupted by their influence, to maintain their purity most Mrigashira natives live very reclusive lives. And this is for their own safety and well-being as well, the more these natives allow themselves to be projected on to by others, the more hatred they receive because of the collective shadow that is put up against them. Imagine being in the presence of a serpent all the time? Its bound to make others uneasy and restless, no matter how friendly, how inviting or welcoming they seem, you may be attracted to them but you do not want to be around them constantly, its too unnerving.

Similarly serpents belong to their burrows (or wherever they live idk lmao) not out in the open among people. Not only because its a threat to their very existence (people see a snake, they try to kill it) but because they are wired and conditioned to thrive in a very different sort of environment.

The allure of the serpent is very attractive but its constant in your face existence is not. Same goes for the veil lifting, truth revealing nature of these natives. Honesty is rare and so appreciated but imagine the truth staring you in the face all day everyday, you would go mad. There is a reason why ignorance is considered bliss, its because you need that veil over reality to keep yourself sane, if you saw things and perceived them as they are, you would drive yourself to lunacy. Most people are not prepared to receive and understand that kind of truth, its only after a certain stage in your spiritual journey that you are initiated into it.

There is a reason why the third eye chakra is the second highest chakra in the hierarchy (root chakra at the bottom from which you ascend upwards all the way up to your crown chakra). The third eye chakra is sight which allows us to see things as they are. The crown chakra which is the final chakra is the ability to understand things as they are. To understand we must first have clarity of vision and to have that we must ascend above all the other chakras.

Mrigashira natives project the truth and because of this, they are torn apart by others often. These natives represent the shadow of the gazer. Serpents beckoning for change, asking you to shed your shadow, and your inhibitions and renew yourself. This can be very painful and scary, as shadow work is always very difficult to do but instead of understanding that what we hate in others is a reflection of our shadow, most people just hate the Messenger themselves.

Petra Kelly, Mrigashira Moon, Vishaka Ketu (the man photographed next to her is her husband)

She was a founding member of the German Green Party and was a prominent activist in the 1980s who united ecological concerns with disarmament, social justice, and human rights. She was one of the OG ecofeminists imo

On 19 October 1992, the decomposed bodies of Kelly and her partner, ex-general and Green politician Gert Bastian (born 1923), were discovered in the bedroom of her house in Bonn by police officials after they received a call from both Bastian's wife and Kelly's grandmother who reported that they had not heard from either Bastian or Kelly for a few weeks. The police determined that Kelly was shot dead while sleeping by Bastian, who then killed himself. She was 44, he was 69. The last time anyone heard from the couple was on 30 September 1992 when Kelly sent a parcel to her grandmother.

Obviously, no one knows what transpired between the two or what might have led to this tragic end but being killed by your partner is unfortunately a pattern in the lives of many Mrigashira natives.

Obviously, not every Mrigashira will experience this so please do not worry or hyperventilate!!!!

One's spouse is a reflection of our subconscious, we are driven to the point of madness and murder when they project the truth of our subconscious back to us. We see the darkness, we see the ugliness and we feel violated. Obviously this is just one explanation and there could be numerous others.

The iconic ecofeminist artist Ana Mendieta was Vishaka Sun, Mrigashira Moon

Ana Mendieta died on September 8, 1985, in New York City, after falling from her 34th-floor apartment in Greenwich Village at 300 Mercer Street. She lived there with her husband of eight months, minimalist sculptor Carl Andre. The circumstances surrounding her death have been the subject of controversy. She fell 33 stories onto the roof of a deli. Just before her death, neighbours heard the couple arguing violently. The neighbours heard Mendieta scream out "no" right before her death, and Andre had scratches all over his face. There were no eyewitnesses to the events that led up to Mendieta's death. A recording of Andre's 911 call showed him saying: "My wife is an artist, and I'm an artist, and we had a quarrel about the fact that I was more, eh, exposed to the public than she was. And she went to the bedroom, and I went after her, and she went out the window." During three years of legal proceedings, Andre's lawyer described Mendieta's death as a possible accident or a suicide. After a nonjury trial, Andre was acquitted of second-degree murder in February 1988.

There are many parallels between Petra & Ana's lives. From the fact that both of them were Mrigashira Moon to the fact that both their husbands worked in the same field as them and that both of them were ecofeminists.

From what we know about the circumstances surrounding Ana's death, it's pretty clear that Carl did it and even reading about what he said on his 911 call is so??? like that sounds like some classic gaslighting and I'm inclined to believe it was probably over his jealousy of how she was a better artist than him. Petra's story we may never know but its not a stretch to think that something similar may have happened between her and that oldie.

Lana Turner, Mrigashira Rising

In 1957, while Turner was filming a movie, she had begun receiving phone calls and flowers on the set from mobster Johnny Stompanato (pictured with her above).

He pursued Turner aggressively, sending her various gifts. Turner was "thoroughly intrigued" and began casually dating him. After a friend informed her of who Stompanato actually was, she confronted him and tried to break off the affair. Stompanato was not easily deterred, and over the course of the following year, they carried on a relationship filled with violent arguments, physical abuse and repeated reconciliations. Turner would also claim that on one occasion he drugged her and took nude photographs of her while unconscious, potentially to use as blackmail.

I don't know if I have posted about it before but being violated or having your sexual intimacy exposed?? is also a Mrigashira theme. Ex: Jennifer Lawrence, Mrig Moon whose private pictures leaked in 2014, Pamela Anderson, Mrig Rising whose sex tape leaked in the 90s.

In 1957, Stompanato visited Turner on set in London and when she asked him to leave, he threatened her with a gun.

On the evening of March 26, 1958, Turner attended the Oscars. Stompanato, angered that he did not attend with her, awaited her return home that evening, whereupon he physically assaulted her. Around 8:00 p.m. on Friday, April 4, Stompanato arrived at Turner's rented home at 730 North Bedford Drive in Beverly Hills. The two began arguing heatedly in the bedroom, during which Stompanato threatened to kill Turner, her daughter Cheryl and her mother. Fearing that her mother's life was in danger, Cheryl – who had been watching television in an adjacent room – grabbed a kitchen knife and ran to Turner's defence. Stompanato died from stab wounds to his stomach.

This whole episode is very Mrigashira coded but thankfully Lana Turner survived and her abuser died.

Maurizio Gucci- Mrigashira Moon, Punarvasu Rising

If you've watched House of Gucci, you already know how this unfolds.

On 27 March 1995, Gucci was shot by a hired hitman on the steps outside his office as he arrived at work. His former wife Patrizia Reggiani was convicted in 1998 of arranging the killing. According to prosecutors, Reggiani's motives were a mixture of jealousy, money, and resentment towards her former husband. She served 18 years in prison and was released in October 2016.

I do believe all these people were murdered/attacked because of the resentment and envy their partners felt towards them even though due to the tragic circumstances there is very little proof of it.

Pamela Anderson, Mrigashira Rising

The Baywatch star married drummer Tommy Lee in 1995, after knowing him for just four days. Their stormy marriage lasted just 3 years, and in that time the Mötley Crüe member served 4 months in jail for domestic abuse against Anderson. It’s reported that during this incident Lee kicked Pamela while she was holding their son Dylan. But even though Anderson had helped to convict Lee, she was waiting for him when he came out and the pair briefly reconciled. Now, though, they’ve gone their separate ways.

A spiritual reason behind why people abuse others is like I said before on this post, they see their shadow reflected in you. The most powerful life saving thing you can do for yourself in these instances when a relationship (does not have to be romantic) takes a sour and dangerous turn is to LEAVE immediately. The longer you stay, the more you forgive/ignore them and overlook their tendencies, the darker the shadow grows because you are letting yourself submit to it. You have to understand that certain things cannot be talked through or come to an understanding about, like how a snake sizes you up before swallowing you whole, the initial triggers are proof of what their darkness is pulling them towards. When you dont recognise that as a sign and take your leave, they are even more agonised and disturbed because now they see all their ugliness reflected in you, how cruel and uncaring they are, everytime they look at you, they see you project their worst traits back to them. Have you noticed how men are always 100x more cruel to the woman who is extremely kind to him and puts up with him? He is not moved by her kindness to treat her better, he treats her worse because she reminds him of how much of a piece of shit he is, he sees his own failures as a human being reflected in her. A woman who does not put up with shit and leaves and cuts them off is also severing these spiritual ties which in a sense "liberates" the man from his shadow. This is why its so important to know your worth. You risk your own life by not knowing it. This is also the reason why men keep chasing the women who dont put up with shit, because theyre not projecting their shadow back to them.

Brooke Shields, Mrigashira Moon & Venus

Brooke was obsessed over by absolutely everyone in her youth. They sexualized a goddamn child and made money from it. Here's a very uncomfortable clip of Susan Sarandon talking about 11yr old Brooke.

I don't want to elaborate too much because it makes me uncomfortable af but read about Brooke's life and you'll see how Mrigashira's many themes unfolded in her life (toxic mom included)

Dante Alighieri, Mrigashira stellium (Sun, Mercury & Rising)

Now that we've discussed how obsession with Mrigashira women ends in tragedy, lets see how Mrigashira natives themselves can be very obsessive in love.

Dante first met Beatrice, who he has described as the love of his life when they were children. She died at 24yrs old and Dante & her were never married nor did they ever even have a conversation but Dante was passionately, madly obsessed with her. He wrote about her A LOT. (imagine writing a shit ton of poetry and prose about a woman you've never even talked to?? haha 👁️👄👁️)

They met twice in their life, he married another woman yet he wrote about Beatrice continuously and exalted her to the high heavens

Dante and Beatrice never even kissed. For Dante, though, it didn’t matter that his love for Beatrice remained unconsummated. Why? Because merely the act of loving her was enough. Loving someone was its own justification.

How could this be? It connects to how Dante’s understanding of his love for Beatrice evolved. By the end of Vita nuova, Dante has come to understand that his youthful love was superficial. Instead, he realizes that his love for her is his most direct experience of the divine nature of love. Beatrice, after all, was “sent from Heaven,” a gift from god. By loving her — even if it’s from afar — Dante is himself purified, brought to a new spiritual existence, and brought closer to god. This is one reason why the work is titled Vita nuova: Dante’s love of Beatrice grants him a new life.

Franz Kafka- Mrigashira Stellium (Moon, Mercury and Venus)

Kafka's Letters to Milena are very popular but what's even crazier is their relationship.

Milena was a translator. In 1919 she discovered a short story (The Stoker) by Prague writer Franz Kafka, and wrote to him to ask for permission to translate it from German to Czech. The letter launched an intense and increasingly passionate correspondence. Milena and Kafka met twice: they spent four days in Vienna together and later a day in Gmünd. Eventually, Kafka broke off the relationship, partly because Milena as unable to leave her husband, and their almost daily communication ceased abruptly in November 1920. They meant so much to each other, however, that they did exchange a few more letters in 1922 and 1923 (and Kafka turned over to Milena his diaries at the end of his life). Kafka died in 1924.

Mrigashira men 🤝passionate love affair with a women they've met twice

“You are the knife I turn inside myself; that is love. That, my dear, is love.” ― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

“Dear Milena, I wish the world were ending tomorrow. Then I could take the next train, arrive at your doorstep in Vienna, and say: “Come with me, Milena. We are going to love each other without scruples or fear or restraint. Because the world is ending tomorrow.” Perhaps we don’t love unreasonably because we think we have time or have to reckon with time. But what if we don't have time? Or what if time, as we know it, is irrelevant? Ah, if only the world were ending tomorrow. We could help each other very much.” ― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

(brb im ugly cryinggg 😭😩😭kafka was such a loverboy)

C.S Lewis, Mrigashira Moon

Joy was a feisty Jewish divorced single mother from the Bronx. Lewis, 17 years her senior, was a lifelong confirmed bachelor (he wrote The Chronicles of Narnia) . They exchanged vows at her hospital bedside after a devastating diagnosis of metastasized breast cancer. Joy spent her final days dying in the arms of her most unlikely husband.

Joy had bone cancer and wasn’t expected to live; miraculously, they had three years together before she finally succumbed to cancer at age 45.

The loss devastated C.S. Lewis (as one can tell by reading A Grief Observed, one of his most heart-wrenching, personal books). Perhaps the biggest lesson one can take away from the love between C.S. Lewis and Joy Davidman was their willingness to love each other, however risky, however unsafe it may be. Lewis expressed grief, shock, and dismay over his wife’s death, but he never expressed regret over marrying her, never wished that he had taken the “safe” way.

Lewis summed this up beautifully in his poem, As the Ruin Falls:

"All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.

I never had a selfless thought since I was born.

I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:

I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,

I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:

I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--

But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.

I see the chasm.

And everything you are was making

My heart into a bridge by which I might get back

From exile, and grow man.

And now the bridge is breaking.

For this I bless you as the ruin falls.

The pains You give me are more precious than all other gains."

They were together for 3 years during which she was very sick and bedridden, yet his love for her is soo profound and he wrote extensively about how much her death devastated him :((

Jim Carrey, Mrigashira Moon starred in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (directed by Michel Gondry, Punarvasu Rising) and this movie is an ode to the eternal nature of love. Two individuals whose memories are altered repeatedly to rid them of one another keep meeting each other again and again. Its such a beautiful story of how undying love is.

I think Punarvasu & Mrigashira natives are connected to each other in some way.

In this interview, Stephen Colbert (Mrigashira Moon) asks Keanu Reeves (Punarvasu Moon) "What happens when we die?" to which Keanu responds "I know that the people who love us, will miss us". Its a very earnest answer more so considering how both Stephen and Keanu have lost so many people in their lives. Keanu's ex gf died in a car accident a year after they had a stillborn daughter. Colbert lost his father and 2 brothers to a plane crash when he was 10.

In Sia's (Mrigashira Moon) MV for Elastic Heart, Maddie Ziegler (Punarvasu Moon) and Shia LaBeouf (Mrigashira Sun) are depicted as Sia's two selves who are warring with each other inside a cage, in the end Maddie makes it out of the cage while Shia is stuck inside. Sia said she wrote this song about a failing relationship so the MV can be understood as a symbolic representation of two sides of Sia battling whether to leave or stay in this relationship. Its particularly poignant to me that the person who makes it out alive is a Punarvasu native.

Its also quite well known how creepily obsessed Sia has been with Maddie over the years.

Hugh Dancy (Mrigashira Sun) played Will on Hannibal where the titular character was played by Mads Mikkelsen (Vishaka Moon)

The two share an intense toxic violent emotional relationship. He tries to kill him but he also saves him.

I think Mars-Jupiter relationships are often this way, intense and ultimately doomed because the two can never stay together.

Eminem, Saturn in Mrigashira atmakaraka (Chitra Sun, Dhanishta Moon) allegedly had a relationship with Mariah Carey (Punarvasu Moon) in the 2000s and repeatedly referenced her in his songs whilst she stayed quiet about him and often denied their relationship.

In 2002 Eminem rapped in his song Superman "What you trying be? My new wife? / What, you Mariah? Fly through twice.” On When the Music Stop, he said, “What the f–k you take me for, a joke? You smoking crack? ‘Fore I do that, I’d beg Mariah to take me back.”

In the same year, Mariah released a song called Clown in which she sang, “You should’ve never intimated we were lovers when you know very well we never even touched each other.”

She explained, “I talked to him, I spoke to him a few times, whatever,” she said at the time. “But in terms of me having an intimate relationship? With men, I can name them all on one hand, and he’s not one of them. I hung out with him, I spoke to him on the phone. I think I was probably with him a total of four times. And I don’t consider that dating somebody.”

Eminem went on talking about her obsessively for yeaaarsss (that's the Mrigashira in him/all his Mars energy in general, Martians are a whole new brand of obsessed)

In 2009, Eminem rapped in Bagpipes from Baghdad

“Mariah, whatever happened to us? Why did we have to break up?Nick Cannon, you pr–k, I wish you luck with the f–kin’ whore.”

Mind you that he himself admitted that they only dated for 6 months in 2002, 7 WHOLE YEARS LATER he is still singing about her, he's clearly still obsessed with her but he's also an asshole for speaking about her in such disparaging terms.

And that's when Mariah Carey dropped her iconic song Obsessed

in 2019, 17 years later, Eminem was still rapping about her lol

"I know me and Mariah didn’t end on a high note / But that other dude’s whipped — that p—y got him neutered, tried to tell him this chick’s a nut job before he got his jewels clipped / Almost got my caboose kicked / Fool, quit / You not gonna do s–t / I let her chop my balls off too before I lose to you, Nick.”

Sorry for spilling all the tea but I just think its soooo funny. Its no Dante & Beatrice but oh man lol

Through this example we see a negative toxic manifestation of Mrigashira's obsession and devotion to a partner.

Prince William, Mrigashira Sun and Princess Catherine, Punarvasu Moon are another Mrig-Punarvasu/Jupiter pairing I can think of

As we have seen from Eminem, Mrigashira men can often be violent and abusive

Johnny Depp-Mrigashira Sun, Kanye West- Mrigashira Sun, Salman Rushdie Mrigashira Sun & Moon, Shia LaBeouf- Mrigashira Sun have all been accused of abuse by their partners.

Obsession isn't a good thing and very few Mrigashira men are like Dante in today's world.

I hope this was interesting & informative.xx

#astrology observations #astrology notes #sidereal astrology #nakshatras #astrology #vedic astro notes #astro notes #vedic astrology #astro observations #astroblr #mrigashira #mars #jupiter

186 notes · View notes

cal-flakes · 9 months

Text

╰┈➤ bestfriend’s to lovers hc’s

warnings: nsfw mentions, mentions of violence.

: ̗̀➛ if y/n had to describe her friendship with rafe cameron, it would certainly be partners in crime.

: ̗̀➛ they’d been best of friends for years, ever since they met on the playground. he’d found her crying underneath the climbing frame because jason todd said she was ugly.

: ̗̀➛ for rafe, that was it. the was the moment he decided he was going to stick by her side forever, and he did.

: ̗̀➛ and you can put money on him going and beating the ever living shit out of jason todd for what he did. if anything, it became a life long vendetta, rafe never forgot what he did, not even by the time he and y/n turned 19.

: ̗̀➛ but nevertheless, it sealed the deal. he protected her life his life depended on it, and she’d attempt to keep him away from trouble.

: ̗̀➛ it was so undeniably opposites attract like you’d never seen opposites attract. y/n was just a small, harmless little girl. and rafe? well, he was rafe, a snarky little boy who enjoyed getting into trouble.

: ̗̀➛ ward and rose adored her more and more throughout the years, she was always welcome at tannyhill.

: ̗̀➛ they saw her influence on rafe, and hoped she’d knock some sense into him when she could.

: ̗̀➛ they also saw her unbelievable kindness, she was always down to help around the house if she could or if wheezie needed help with homework.

: ̗̀➛ she’d even be there when rafe wasn’t, just so she could hang out with his family.

: ̗̀➛ “you scared the shit out of me!”

: ̗̀➛ “i’m part of the furniture rafe, i’m literally always here”

: ̗̀➛ when they reached the ages of parties, alcohol, drugs and sex, they experienced everything together.

: ̗̀➛ they were each others first kiss, they did their first line of cocaine together, their first drink together, when i say everything, i mean everything.

: ̗̀➛ things got a bit sticky when it came to sex, when they were 16, rafe was already a mouth watering sight, he was tall and muscular, what girl wouldn’t want him? so there he was, a new girl on his arm

: ̗̀➛ and y/n was physically gifted too, a beautiful face and prominent curves, but she was a lot more reserved, she didn’t want to give away her virginity to just anyone.

: ̗̀➛ so when it came down to it, and she’d been made to feel insecure about it, rafe offered to be her first.

: ̗̀➛ “i..are you sure?”

: ̗̀➛ “of course i’m sure y/n”

: ̗̀➛ they both pinky promised each other it wouldn’t be weird after, and it wouldn’t ruin their friendship.

: ̗̀➛ and it didn’t, but feelings certainly blossomed after.

: ̗̀➛ the next few months we’re filled with burning jealousy and rage for one another, seeing the other flirt with other people.

: ̗̀➛ around this time, little arguments ensued as they discreetly sabotaged the others relationships.

: ̗̀➛ “did you tell rachel i had an std?”

: ̗̀➛ “what? no of course not..”

: ̗̀➛ “rafe! you can’t just beat the shit out of any boy that gets close to me!”

: ̗̀➛ “i didn’t like the look of him…”

: ̗̀➛ it wasn’t until sarah had to mediate one of their bigger arguments that they were finally confronted by their growing feelings for one another.

: ̗̀➛ “can you guys just kiss and make up already? it’s about time..”

: ̗̀➛ and that’s exactly what happened.

: ̗̀➛ as they stared at each other, the initial anger of the situation slowly dissipating, they both leaned in, their lips connecting aggressively.

: ̗̀➛ rafe’s hands lingered on her waist as her found their way onto his face, cupping his jaw as she deepened the kiss.

: ̗̀➛ “i love you, i always have..”

: ̗̀➛ the pair were even more powerful in a relationship as they were before.

: ̗̀➛ having finally admitted and confronted their feelings, they need to protect one another only grew.

: ̗̀➛ wherever y/n went, rafe was never far. whether she was working a shift at the island club, or shopping around town, he’d always be lurking, scanning the people around them for potential threats.

: ̗̀➛ she found it particularly amusing whenever someone tried to hit on her, entirely oblivious to the 6’2 giant sneaking behind them, observing his prey.

: ̗̀➛ together, they were like a punch. y/n was the swing, the split second you have to dodge the incoming impact. rafe was definitely the punch, he’d lost count of the amount of people he’d beaten to a pulp just for looking at her, never-mind attempting to talk to her.

: ̗̀➛ both of their parents would watch on in awe as the two spent time together at one another’s houses. admiring the love they had for each other at such a young age.

: ̗̀➛ and it certainly wasn’t coming to an end any time soon.

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x fem!reader #outer banks #rafe cameron #outerbanks rafe #obx #rafecameron #dom!rafe #rafe obx #rafe smut #soft!rafe cameron #bestfriend!rafe

424 notes · View notes

tomhollandisabae · 2 years

Text

hidden feelings - bale!bruce wayne x reader

masterlist

fandom; dceu

summary; after trying so hard to push you away, bruce cannot help but confess his deepest feelings to you

warnings; angst, mature language, fluff

words; 2.5k

a/n; this is the third time i'm posting this because it's not showing anywhere 😭

please send me your requests !!❣️

You and Bruce had been friends for many years. To be honest you, Bruce and Rachel had always been inseparable, but you and Bruce had an even more tight connection. So, when his parents were killed, you were the shoulder that he could cry on. You would spend so many hours trying to comfort him and show him that there was so much more out there, show him that he deserved the whole world.

As the years passed by, however, your feelings for him changed drastically- from being friendly to more romantically. You always admired Bruce; how emotionally strong he was, how smart he was and in general everything about him. So, it is fair to say that when he disappeared you broke down.

You felt as you had just lost your whole world. You'd always go to the Wayne Manor and ask Alfred if he had somehow come back, yet his reply was always negative. Until one day, when he had finally arisen from the dead.

It was the happiest day of your life. Nevertheless, you realized that he had changed in so many ways. He had become more muscular, more serious and his whole demeanour was different.

Sooner or later, you also caught up to the fact that he was hiding something away from you. So you comforted him, but it all ended up in a huge argument. He tried to shut you out of his whole life saying that he had no time for old friends and games now, that he had to focus on his company and other... women.

That day he had broken you in so many ways. You tried to talk to Rachel, yet she told you that she had somehow cut of contact with Bruce too. Later on, she admitted to you that he was romantically interested towards her. She told you that she felt really bad about it, but you reassured her that she had nothing to feel bad about, after all it wasn’t her fault.

He had made you depressed. You thought that he had finally broken you completely, until one day when you realised that there was something left of him inside your heart still.

You were at the Wayne Manor, because apparently you were invited to his birthday party. Turns out Alfred had sent you the invitation. But you really hoped that you had never attended. The image of him with a beautiful woman; tall, slim, brunette, that was a perfect match for him, broke the last pieces of your heart that were left. They were dancing, making people look at them in awe, while you were standing in a corner of the enormous room, trying not to cry and make a fool of yourself.

Now he had completely broken you.

You couldn’t stand watching him with another woman for even a second more, so you run away trying to get as far away from him as possible. You didn’t notice that you had led yourself to a room that looked more like an office. A piano was placed at the far end and you walked towards it. You were indeed a very exceptional pianist and Bruce was always making sure to always remind you of that.

You run your hands on the keys, starting playing his favourite song. You purred your whole heart on that song, tears running down on your cheeks, sobs leaving your soft lips. You took out your frustration on the piano keys, playing random notes, until you heard a thud and the bookshelves in front of you moved.

You were left in shock, but decided to walk towards them pushing lightly.

A long dark hallway appeared and you followed wherever it was leading. A few moments later you were in a huge white- modern room.

You had no idea what this place was and why it was so well hidden. You walked up to a desk in the middle of that room and looked at the screen. There were many symbols that you didn’t understand and you leaned down to take a better look. However, without realising it you had pressed on a button and a big sound was heard from behind you.

You slowly turn around to see what it was, but what you saw left you speechless.

Batman's suit.

Of course you had heard about the Batman. Who hadn’t heard about the Batman in Gotham?

But why was Batman’s suit in Bruce's manor? Unless...

Your thoughts were interrupted as the entrance where you came from opened and in came none other than Bruce fucking Wayne.

Once he saw you, he stopped at his tracks.

“y/n” he exclaimed your name in shock.

“What...what is that?” you asked while pointing at the suit.

“How did you get here?” he walked up to you.

“By accident, I didn’t really mean to. You know how much I love playing the piano and there was one in y--” he interrupted your rumbling.

“Are you a spy?” he raised an eyebrow while looking at you with abomination.

You looked at him with wide eyes. He really had thought that you would ever betray him?

“Me? A spy? To spy on who, Bruce? You? You really think that after everything we’ve been through, I would have backstabbed you like that?” you complaint.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, you’ve probably changed.” he said and you huffed a sarcastic laughter.

“May I remind you who was the one that wanted to end our friendship?” you raised your eyebrow.

“So that gives you a reason to spy on me? Who are you working for?” you looked at him in disbelief.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You were the one that pushed me away, I was trying to help you. You've...” you bit on you bottom lip to stop your sobs “you treated me as if I meant nothing to you, as if our whole childhood was just a dream and that fucking broke me.” a tear rolled down on your cheek.

“You broke me, Bruce. There's nothing left of me anymore.” you said in a whisper.

“And now... now you have the nerve to accuse me of such thing? After everything? Yes, I should be hating you, loathing you, but I don’t... I never did. Instead, I...” you stopped yourself before saying something that you would regret.

“Instead, you what?” he walked closer to you.

“Forget it” you turned your head, so that you wouldn’t be facing him.

“Tell me” he demanded.

“Why should I give you the satisfaction?” you looked up at him with sorrow “you don’t deserve to know anything. You don’t deserve to know what I've been going through because of you. You don’t deserve to know how I feel. You deserve nothing.” you saw sadness filling his eyes, but he huffed out a breath and shook that feeling away.

“What are you doing here y/n? you weren’t invited.” he said afterwards.

“Are you still blaming me for spying on you?” you exclaimed “but just to let you know, Alfred invited me, he thought that we could’ve a nice reconnection, but he was clearly wrong.” he sighed.

“y/n, you can’t say anything of what you saw here to anybody.”

“After everything I told you, you still really think that I would do such thing to you?” you wiped your tears away and he finally lifted his head up so that he could look you in the eye.

However, the sight of you with puffy red eyes, arose a deep feeling within him that he had to feel for such a long time. His eyes soften and his shoulder fell in realisation of what he had caused. You looked so broken; indeed, he had ruined you. But why? Why would you let it phase you that much? You were the one that was giving him hope every single time and yet now here you were in front of him, completely hopeless.

He hated himself for that.

You were the only one, apart from Alfred, that was there for him at his worst. Not even Rachel was.

And how had he thanked you for that? By destroying you.

“y/n...” he whispered your name and placed one of his hands on your arm.

“no...” you tried to back away from him, knowing that any kind of physical contact with him would end you, but he stopped you.

“What have I done to you?” you saw in his eyes that he was hurt, but why?

“Please Bruce...” you tried to get out of his grip, but failed.

“I thought...” he started saying but took a deep breath as he got even closer to you and placed his palms on both your cheeks with a frowned expression.

“I thought that back then I had made the right decision by letting you go. Trying to protect from all this, but I was so wrong. I was so hurt, trying to hide away my feelings was making things even worse. But what I did to you... I thought you’d be okay, that you’d leave a happy life without me, meet someone, get to know him like you know me, date him, marry him, have children...” you interrupted him.

“No, no, I could never do that. No, there will be no one for me anymore... not after you” you whispered the last part while looking down, hoping for him not to have heard you, but he did.

“Why?” he asked and you finally looked up.

“Because I love you Bruce” a single tear run down on your cheek “I have loved you so much, for so many years. I was waiting so patiently for you to come to me, because I knew that you’d always come back, but once you did... everything had completely changed.” you confessed.

“What had changed?” he asked you confused.

“You had changed, Bruce. Not only that, but as I was trying to help you out with whatever was going on, you were pushing me away, until one day when you told, straight face, that you wanted to do nothing with me anymore and that you had other priorities” your voice broke towards the end.

“Yes, that was true.” you looked at him in disbelief “and would you like to know what my first priority was and still is?” he questioned you and you looked at him.

“You were, you are and you will be forever my first priority. Till the day I die, I'll be trying to protect you. I'm willing to risk anything for your safety, y/n” he admitted.

“Why then? Why did you let me go?” you asked in despair.

“I told you; I thought it was the right thing to do. I wanted to protect from any danger that Batman’s reputation would cause you, but I was so damn wrong. I should have never done that, because as much closer you are to me, so much more I can protect you and...” he paused “and because it hurt so much being away from you.” he bit his bottom lip while trying not to let his tears spill out.

“Bruce...” you placed one of your hands on his that were still on your cheeks. He looked at you.

“Why are you with all these women?” you asked.

“Because I was trying to let go...” he replied.

“Let go of what?”

“Of you” he finally said “I wanted so bad to forget everything about you; your beautiful eyes that were shining every time you were happy, your beautiful smile that never ceased to not make my heart speed up, your intoxicating perfume, your way of always finding the right words to say, everything. I even try that with Rachel.”

“Did you succeed?”

“Not even close” he slightly smiled.

“Bruce...”

“I love you y/n. I love so damn much and I don’t know why it took that long to tell you, but I'm glad I did now. Even though I wished I could tell you first.” he chuckled and you bit your lip.

“Kiss me” you said while looking at him.

“y/n...” he tried to say but you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you.

“Prove to me that you really love me.” and that he did.

Without wasting any more time, he pulled you towards him and his lips finally connected with yours in a very long-awaited kiss. You immediately lost yourself in the kiss. Chills run up your spine, your legs started trembling and your heart was about to burst out of your chest. But so was his. Bruce wrapped his own arms around your waist, biting on your lower lip asking for entrance, while he was backing you up against the desk behind you. His tongue slipped into your mouth and he started exploring it as your fingers tangled themselves in between his soft hair.

His hand went even more south, on the back of your thigh as he hoisted you up on the desk making you spread your legs so that he would get between them. He pressed his whole body against yours, while you were feeling your lips going numb. As you had started running out of air, he disconnected his lips from your and started kissing along your jaw and down on your neck.

“I love you.” he said between kissed “I love you so much” you threw your head back at the beautiful sensation.

“Bruce...” you moaned out his name and in a nick of time his lips were back on yours, encaging you in a bruising kiss.

“Master Wayne...” you suddenly heard a voice and Bruce immediately turned around to see none other than Alfred standing at the entrance completely speechless.

You immediately pushed Bruce away, feeling embarrassed, while you jumped off the desk.

“Alfred” Bruce exclaimed.

“Your guests are requesting for you” he informed him while a mischievous smile made its way on his face.

“Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.” he said and turned back to you when Alfred left “where were we?” he smirked at you, but you pushed away.

“We were about to go back to the party because your guests are expecting you.” you smirked at him.

“Well, I am with one of my guests now, am I not?” he raised an eyebrow while grinning at you.

“Let me remind you that Alfred was the one that invited me” you told him.

“it’s my birthday, though...” he pouted.

“Okay then, birthday boy, if you go out there now, I promise you that you’re in for a long night tonight.” you winked at him.

“Shit y/n, you can’t do this to me” he groaned as you started making your way out of the bat cave.

“Watch me” you challenged him as you walked away while swinging your hips from side to side.

“fuck” you heard him while running up to you.

“you’ll regret that after the party” he said.

“we’ll see about that.”

#christian bale imagine #bale!bruce wayne x reader #bale!bruce wayne #bale!batman x reader #christian bale x reader #christian bale #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne one shot #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x fem!reader #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne #batman x reader #batman x fem!reader #batman x you #batman x y/n #batman

1K notes · View notes

lakesbian · 3 months

Note

Put the Undersiders in a busy airport or train station. How do they handle it? Who gets onto a the wrong flight/train? How many times would Aisha use her power to get into the cockpit or engine room of the train?

oh my GOD how is putting the undersiders in a busy airport or train station not one of the Situations we've put them in yet. this is great. paging @simurghed urgently. everyone please share your undersiders go to busy airport or train station thoughts this is my favorite kind of autism to engage in

brian is like. You know he's being brian about this. you know he's got his schedule printed out and all the tickets pointed out and they're in some little binder and he's making sure he specifically is carrying it the whole time. and the one time lisa casually reminds him to make sure he has xyz necessary item he's like I Have It, Don't Be Neurotic, because his coping mechanism for being nervous and feeling like a woman is questioning his Authority (<- assumed as the main and eternal coping mechanism) is misogyny. love him.

obviously taylor is bringing bugs with her wherever they go and i like to imagine if theyre sitting down in an airport waiting for a really long time and they were in one of the areas where the birds have gotten inside and are nesting + looking for food (that's a universal airport feature right? the birds that got indoors and just live there now?) she might entertain alec and aisha and also herself by flying bugs around 4 the birds and leading them on little hunting excursions and into loops and shit.

aisha takes selfies in the cockpit or engine room (shes posing next to the pilot and making bunny ears behind their head with her fingers) whenever she gets bored and then comes back to show them to alec and brian realizes theres Muffled Laughter happening in their row after aishas been Not There for a while and is like. hmm. that cant be good. and is doing a really bad job of trying to twist himself out of his seat casual-style to find out whats all that then. i can also imagine him insisting on seating himself next to aisha

...three seat plane rows. brian sitting in the middle of aisha and alec and having a wretched time. taylor rachel and lisa lezzing it up in the row in front of them.

i think alec would really enjoy take-off on a plane because Wheee he's all floaty :) and then spend the next however many hours experiencing boredom-induced ego death. possible activities include: fiddling around on his ds. making a little teenager-typical 2011-era flipaclip animation. accidentally falling asleep on brian's arm and starting to snore and drool while aisha is doing the same thing on his other arm. watching a bad movie on his little in-flight tv screen and hopefully trying to engage both brian and aisha in conversation about it because he wants to have friends.

okay i diverged from the point of air Port or train Station sorry. ive never been in a real train station so i have less to speak for there but i think it would be fun to watch the undersiders get crotchety with each other in a long line for overpriced airport food.

imagine if you will brian and taylor trying to fit comfortably in a Nappable Position in the chairs in the flight waiting area. leg cramp city

i think this would all probably be very stressful for rachel :( maybe she andt aylor should hold hands about it. to be safe.

i want to see how lisa tries to make waiting in an airport an enriching and fulfilling activity for taylor so bad. honestly it would probably be no matter what. real bonding experience.

brian laborn tries to carry 9 suitcases at once: and other fun adventures in toxic masculinity

alec vasil has to go pee, right now, for approximately 10-15 minutes, when he's asked to find something in a heavy bag: and other fun adventures in shirking responsibility

aisha laborn's mysterious magical snack manifestation: and other fun adventures in robbing the airport

you know if they were at a busy train station brian would do that thing where he ushers the undersiders around physically and it is fully an indicator of his psychological issues but also it'd be cute. it'd be cute to watch him blocking the crowd so everyone else could move more comfortably and use his Height Advantage to guide everyone most efficiently by pressing on their backs. his psychological issues are endearing

people keep asking about How Much Longer Until Boarding and lisa starts getting bored and providing real-time updates of the Precise amount of time left. if theres a delay she reads out why too

???

its nice. to imagine if they could have a fun time going to locations.

#ask #wormblr #parahumans #this isnt my best its nothing actually im just Rotating

129 notes · View notes

fandomnerd9602 · 6 months

Text

What They’re Like Around You…

A-Force Headcanons

Toni Stark (Katie McGrath)

Flirtatious. Toni tries to find every and all opportunities to flirt with you and make you blush. She tries at least three times a day. It usually ends with you pushing her into the nearest closet, room, wherever you and her can have some alone time.

Stephanie Rogers (Margot Robbie)

Gentle. Stephanie never had a special someone before you. So every little step together is a milestone for her. She blushes every time you hold her hand or kiss her cheek. Its slow and loving all the way, every little moment with her is a blessing

Thora Odinsdottir (Katheryn Winnick)

Passionate. Thora never felt this way about anyone. She takes any and all chances to kiss you, hold you, smother you. She giggles every time she sees you. Every time Thora comes home to you, the armor comes off and the love bug comes out.

Bree Banner (Rachel Weiz)

Technically this is two. Bree is gentle and shy. She blushes just when you look at her. You know when she wants to be kissed because she’ll slip her glasses off. Bree loves just being in your arms and feeling loved.

Hulk is forward to say the least. Hulk picks you up and nearly crushes you every time. Hulk just loves holding you in her arms, like you’re her favorite plushie.

Clara Barton (Melissa Benoist)

Competitive. Clara’s always looking for a way to one up you. It’s all just an excuse so she can decide what movie you watch, who’s the big spoon, or what to eat. You and her enjoy your little competitions, they always end with her on top of you engaging in a little play wrestling.

Petra Parker (Millie Bobby Brown)

Petra is still shy around you but she’s also adventurous. You and her just love figuring out this brand new feeling known as love together. She loves taking you out for swings around the city after school and you love treating her to sandwiches at yours and hers favorite bodega.

Penny Quill (Dakota Johnson)

Playful. She loves to rib you and then immediately cover it up with a kiss. She sees you as her ride or die soulmate. The Sam to her Diane.

106 notes · View notes

brighter-by-the-daly · 1 year

Text

Millie Bright x Reader

Part Three: Playing Pretend

You forgot that you still had Millie’s insta notifications turned on as your phone lit up with the first one in days. “If that’s another fucking photo with Levi I’m gonna go off” your voice sounding harsh and bitter again. You were on the sofa with Rachel watching your favourite film and as the statement left your lips, Rach picked up her phone to look too. Your eyes met with a multi photo post, each one of you and Millie.

I have something I’ve been meaning to get off my chest for a while and didn’t know how to do it. I’m sorry to everyone I’ve lied to, including @(y/n). The truth is, I’m not in a relationship with Levi and never have been. For 6 years (y/n) has been my teammate, my roommate, my best friend and the reason I laugh everyday - that’s not a lie. But what I failed to tell everyone is that she’s also my girlfriend, at least I hope she still is. I’m bisexual and I’m in love with this incredibly strong, talented and gorgeous woman and have been since 2017. We’ve celebrated anniversaries quietly and loved each other in secret because I convinced her it was better that way. I now see that that was wrong and I apologise to everyone I have affected but mostly I apologise to the love of my life. I should never have pulled you back into the closet with me; you’re the smartest, most honest and kind human being I know and I should never have dulled your sparkle. I love you always 💙

After reading to the end you looked up at Rach with tears in your eyes, mouthing the words “thank you” to her as she crawled over to take you into her arms. The tears kept coming as you allowed relief to replace anger and your body finally caught up with the immense amount of stress this situation had caused.

You don’t know how long you laid there but with the release of negative energy and Rachel’s fingers running through your hair you must have fallen asleep, only awoken a couple hours later by the door bell. “You might wanna get that” Rachel whispered as you looked up at her. Shuffling to the front door and turning the knob you were met with your tall blonde girlfriend towering over you, barely visible behind the enormous bouquet of flowers she was holding.

“I want to marry you too” were the first words to leave her mouth. “I’m sorry. I know that isn’t enough but if you’ll have me back I promise to make you smile, bring you flowers and tell you I love you every single day. I should have been proud to call you my girlfriend, I am proud to call you my girlfriend and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. (Y/n) I love you so much, please forgive me?”

The last bit of air left your lungs as the words you’d been wishing for were finally said. This time, it was you that was speechless and just nodded in response to her question of forgiveness. You know it must have been hard for her to come out but didn’t know that was one of the reasons she kept you hidden. Taking the flowers from her she enveloped you into her arms, feeling that sense of comfort and belonging that you’d been missing. Your head fitting perfectly under her chin as she squeezed you so tightly you thought you were going to burst. “Can I kiss you?” she asked innocently, lifting your chin with her forefinger “of course you can” the smile on your face no longer fake or forced as your lips met with hers, feeling like it was the beginning all over again. “Come here Cupid” Millie shouted as Rach run over to join in the embrace.

The next day Millie walked you into practice standing tall, proud and holding your hand. You said she didn’t have to but she insisted that she wanted to - today and every day, she’ll hold your hand wherever you go. Entering the gym where the rest of the team were who immediately turned their attention to both of you, cheering and clapping at your arrival. For the first time in 6 years, you’d never felt happier.

#millie bright #millie bright x reader #woso masterlist #woso x reader #lionesses

152 notes · View notes

odditycircus-2002 · 3 months

Note

Since your requests are open: could you do a fic about MK11 Fujin hearing the reader sing and he thinks it’s absolutely beautiful, so the reader does a mini concert with just him watching?

If you need certain songs to put into this, I got you:

A/N: Thank you for the songs and for my first fic request that doesn't involve my usual Mortal Kombat men! I hope I do Fujinn justice, as he seems like a chill dude. Oh! And for the song in this fic, I went with "The Voice" by Celtic Woman. I'd thought it would be fitting with its elemental lyrics. I'll also try to keep these requests as gender-neutral as possible unless specified otherwise.

The Voice

Being the god of the Wind came with many perks. Not only is Fujin granted with divine power, but also the ability to fly and ride on the winds to wherever he desires. Currently, the wind god has no specific location where he desires to reach. Fujin is currently content with riding the winds on a rare peaceful day in Earthrealm, with no sign of an upcoming attack from Outworld's inhabitants. That is until the demi-god caught wisps of a melody within his breeze. The melody carried soft notes with an almost haunting quality to it. Fujin eases his winds to a halt within a forest, waiting to hear more of the melody.

His patience is rewarded when he hears it dancing on the breeze again. Fujin judges by the volume of the music, its source isn't too far from him. With footsteps light as the wind he commands, the demi-god treks through the woods, the music becoming louder and clearer with each step he takes. Eventually, his search takes him to a clearing with some mostly smooth boulders in the center. On top of those boulders sat a young adult Earthrealmer plucking at the strings off a worn but loved fiddle. They occasionally would play some notes before following them by singing in possibly the most beautiful voice he's ever heard in all of his existence.

"I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain. I am the voice of your hunger and..."

The earthrealmer trails off before letting a huff of frustration which is when Fujin decided to make his presence known.

"Why did you stop?"

"Gah!"

You let out a shout in surprise, fumbling with your fiddle and bow as they almost fell from your arms. Fujin holds up his hands in a placating manner as he takes another step into the clearing with a soft expression on his face.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to startle you,"

"Are you blind?"

You cut off the strange looking newcomer, taking in his bright pale eyes and long silver braid.

"Pardon?"

"Your eyes. They're really white as if you're blind. Are you?"

Fujin gives an amused grin.

"No and I am glad. Otherwise, I'd never get to see you sing err..."

"Y/N, the name's Y/N. Do you have one too stranger?"

You are quick to ask as you turn your head away from the tall and handsome newcomer, hoping he doesn't see your flustered expression.

"My name is Fujin."

The demi-godd decides to leave it at that, for now, not wanting to further surprise you and possibly drive you away by revealing his role as one of Earthrealm's divine protectors and god of the wind.

"So Fujin, you caught me at a bit of a bad time,"

"And why is that?"

Fujin gently asks. You look around at anything but the newcomer, while running your fingers along your bow.

"Well, I'm supposed to be composing a song. I have the notes but I don't quite have all the words."

"If it helps, your singing is very beautiful."

"Oh uhhh, thank you."

You blush as you start to absentmindedly pluck a few notes of your fiddle. Fujin is now just a few feet away from you, close but with respectable distance between you.

"I would like to listen to more of your work, if you'll allow it."

"Sure! Uh- I mean- I mean, sure. That would be wonderful. I could use a muse anyways."

You then stand up on your feet, realizing how you're only just slightly taller than Fujin with the platform beneath you. You dust yourself off, you then hop onto a higher boulder. After making a few adjustments with your fiddle's strings, you start to sing.

Fujin was fortunate enough to snatch snippets of your singing while he was riding the winds, but those pale in comparison to hearing you right in front of him. Your voice is strong and proud. It is ethereal and eerie. It is as if listening to the Elder gods sing themselves.

When you start to play your fiddle for the musical segment of your song, you jump down from your boulder to start skipping around the clearing. You almost appear to be floating on air, and actually do at one point, but you hardly notice as you're too engulfed by the music. Around you and Fujin, the wind starts to blow and picking up the fallen leaves, filling the clearing with a myriad of warm colors.

"I am the Voice of the past that will always be filled with my sorrows and blood in my fields!

I am the Voice of the future! Bring me your peace... Bring me your peace and my wounds... They will heal."

Throughout your mini concert, Fujin's gaze never wavered from your form as if trying to commit every move and gesture to memory. As you paint a rhapsody with your body but write a requiem with your song. At last, it comes to a stop and so the Demi-god does the only thing he could think to do and claps.

You give a beaming smile at Fujin before taking a pantomime bow.

"Thank you, thanks for being such a great audience and muse."

You then blow him a kiss.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #mk x reader #ask answered #kombatkid #fujin x reader #mk fujin #fujin #mk fic #mk fanfic #fanfic #oddball writes #mk11 #mortal kombat 1

43 notes · View notes

thebiggerbear · 4 months

Text

Tom Hanniger x Reader - Prompt Response - "I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

Summary: You went to visit Tom in the mines for a little Valentine's Day fun. Who knew that one decision would lead to everything that's happened? Will you be able to help Tom or will he be lost to you forever?

Pairing: Tom Hanniger x Female!Reader; Tom Hanniger x Sarah Mercer; implied past Deputy Martin x Female!Reader

A/N: Prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting (#941). This was so much fun to write. I just love this character and there is so much to explore with him. I also really love the dynamic between him and the reader in this one. Hope it came out alright.

I decided to give Deputy Martin a name. He deserves one. Also, I loved Tom and Sarah at the beginning of the movie. I had actually been hoping Sarah would leave Axel and be with Tom again until it was revealed that he was the one doing the killings. That grocery store scene when they see each other again for the first time after a decade...it broke my heart in the best way. Jensen and Jaime did a great job (Kerr too though I hated his character the entire time lol). So I kind of feel a little guilty here but I had to throw in the Sarah factor; not trying to crap on their relationship, I promise.

I tried my best do my research and be respectful in regards to DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) but also keep this a few years post-movie (2009) while also staying within the context the movie provided but also explore a bit, if that makes sense. Please note I do not work in the psychiatry, psychology, or medical fields. If I got anything appallingly incorrect about this disorder, its symptoms, its treaments, anything, please let me know. Also, I think it goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway), not every single person who has been diagnosed with DID is violent or a threat to others nor are their alters violent or a threat to others. Obviously, this is just a work of fanfiction based on a fictional story where the main character had an alter that was violent and a threat to everyone. No harm or disrespect is intended with this fanfiction at all.

There is a note at the end.

This takes place pre-movie, all throughout it, and post-movie.

Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

Warnings: violence; description of injuries; blood; sex (smut-light); angst; mentions of murder; semi-hostage situation; threats of harm/murder; psychiatric hospital treatment (I'm not sure if that's an actual warning or if it should be but I'm putting it in case)

Sidenote: I'm sure we all know this but I'm putting here in case anyway: if you ever go into any mines or similar underground structure, please always wear your hardhat and do what your guides/experts tell you/follow the rules to stay safe.

Word Count: 11k+

Tom Taglist: @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

<-->

You pulled up outside of Tunnel 5 in your car, your friends laughing and cheering as you parked. You weren’t as excited to be here but they managed to talk you into it.

A Valentine’s Day party was happening in Tunnel 5 and most people your age were going to be there. Why they had decided on a tunnel in the Hanniger mines as the primo party spot you had no idea. If there was one thing you had learned in your life so far, people were weird and most college-aged kids would party wherever, whenever. Especially in a small town like this one.

You got out of the car, heading towards the trunk, ignoring the dibs your friend Destiny was calling on every hot single guy to your other two friends, Carina and Taylor. You handed six packs of beer out to each of them before grabbing the last one and shutting the trunk lid.

“You okay, Y/N?”

You glanced up to find Carina watching you while Destiny and Taylor were waiting impatiently to get to the party. You forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay, Rina. Promise.” She knew how hard this might be for you and you appreciated her checking in with you. She returned your smile and turned to follow your two other friends, with you close behind her.

You passed a few cars until a familiar tall figure entered your vision, sans his usual ball cap. You watched as Tom Hanniger opened the back door of his truck, searching for something. You moved a little closer to Carina and discreetly handed her your six-pack. “I’ll catch up,” you whispered.

She glanced over to where you were staring and gave you a look. “Y/N…”

“I’ll be fine, Rina. You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you guys in a few.”

She seemed uncertain but nodded, doing as you asked. You watched her hurry to catch up to Destiny and Taylor, and then you turned your attention back on Tom. You waited for two people to pass by before you made your way over to him.

He had a six-pack in his hand but he was standing stock still, almost as if he was lost in thought. You then watched as he put the beer back down, holding a hand to the side of his car, and you could tell he was taking a deep breath. Your heart broke for him a little. This couldn’t be easy for him, being here, and being back here especially. You wondered what had prompted him to come here and then you realized, your heart breaking a little further: Sarah.

You pressed your lips together and decided to get this over with. “Hey, Tom,” you called softly.

He spun around, surprised to see you. “Y/N…hey.”

You took him in and you hoped your pain wasn’t showing through. He looked good for the most part, still handsome, still tall and statuesque, his figure being cut from playing football. The only difference you could make out was the nerves that were plain as day though he tried to hide them from you. “How are you?”

He shrugged. “I’m doing alright, I guess. How about you? I hear congratulations are in order. You got into med school. I always knew you would.”

“Thanks,” you whispered. You had worked hard in school, filled up your interim semesters with classes to help you get closer to graduation, studied like hell for the MCAT, and got into the med school of your choice — well, one of them — just like you’d been hoping for the longest time. “Are you here alone?”

“No, uh, I’m here with…” He gestured back towards the tunnel.

“Sarah,” you supplied.

“Yeah.” You could see some of his discomfort showing through. “Sarah.”

You attempted a smile. “That’s good.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything, just kept his eyes trained on the hat in his hand.

You wished things weren’t so awkward now between you. They never used to be.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, his eyes lifting to yours. “For how things turned out. I never meant— I never meant for any of this to happen.” You could see the regret in them, an echo of some of your own regret.

“I know,” you whispered, your eyes burning at the corners. “I’m sorry, too.”

And you really were. Perhaps if you had been a better girlfriend a year ago — a better person even — you both wouldn’t be here now, feeling as if the blood on your hands would never wash away.

It was Valentine’s Day and you knew Tom was working in the mines all day. He still promised to take you out afterwards, once he’d gotten a chance to shower and clean up. You were looking forward to it.

You had no idea when the thought popped into your head but once it did, it took root and stayed there. Until you found yourself visiting him at the mines. Of course, you’d gotten a lot of dirty and suspicious looks as you dressed in a miner’s uniform and plopped a hard hat on your head (it was the rules). Some guy you forgot the name of the second you’d been introduced to took you down in a cart. While you weren’t crazy about going further underground, you told yourself that once you were with Tom, you would be safe. And it would all be worth it once he saw the present you had for him.

You got to your stop, the guy called for Tom to come down and mentioned he had a visitor, and not too long after, Tom appeared. You grinned at him when you saw the look of surprise on your boyfriend’s face.

“What the— What the hell are you doing here, sweetheart?”

“Surprise!” You hugged him as fiercely as you could with his equipment on him.

He shook his head, smiling as he took in your outfit. “You came all the way down here just to surprise me?”

“Of course I did.”

“But sweetheart, it’s not safe.”

“Don’t tell me that, Tom. I worry about you enough being down here as it is. And don’t worry, I won’t be long.” You smirked up at him and he immediately got your meaning.

He uncomfortably cleared his throat. “I can take it from here, Fred. I’ll call a cart down when she’s ready to go back up or you if you’re still around. Thanks.”

Fred shook his head, most likely knowing what you two were up to. “I’ll be over in 3 if you need me,” he gruffed out. You both watched as the cart disappeared down the shaft.

“Sweetheart, you really shouldn’t have come down. It’s not safe,” Tom told you but you could feel his hand resting on the seat of your uniform.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” He smiled. “What kind of surprise?”

“You’ll see,” you teased. “Is there somewhere we can go?”

He glanced around quickly before taking your hand. “Yeah, there’s a place. Come on.” He led you back up the shaft a little ways and into a pocket, hidden from view. He whisked off his hard hat and yours before eagerly pulling you to him, making you giggle into his mouth.

“I’ve never had a girl visit me at the mines before,” he murmured, kissing your jaw.

“And you better never have any girl other than me coming to see you.” You playfully poked his chest in warning.

“No other girl for me,” he whispered to your lips before kissing you again. “You’re it. Always.”

“Awww.” You began to unzip your uniform, wanting to give him his present already. Something sweet like that deserved a reward.

He pulled back to help you and once the top half was off, his brows drew together in mock confusion. “My surprise is your jogging sweats? I really appreciate the thought, sweetheart, but you could’ve given that to me later tonight and not risked coming down here.”

You swatted at his shoulder, making him snicker, as you slowly unzipped your top half. His eyes followed the trail of the zipper and they widened when you opened the shirt and pushed it back to your shoulders. You smirked, seeing his reaction. He wasn’t laughing or making fun now.

Underneath your sweats, you wore new lingerie you had bought just for this moment. It was a red and white lacy bra that had hearts all over it, ending in a cut-out heart design over your breasts, with a little bow holding it altogether. “You like?”

“I like.” He trailed a finger along the edge of the cut-out heart. “I like it a lot.” He twirled the ribbon over his finger, smirking over at you. “Do I get to unwrap you?” He teased.

You shrugged. “It is your present. Don’t forget about the bottom half, too.” You pushed down your uniform and sweats to reveal similar looking underwear. “But the tie’s at the back.” You leaned forward slightly so he could see. He grinned as he ran a hand over the cut-out heart shape back there, tugging at the ribbon playfully. “So you like your surprise?”

“I love my surprise.” He kissed you as he untied the underwear and let them fall forward into his waiting hand. He stuck them into the pocket of his mining uniform and you felt him begin to touch you in the way he knew you liked. He groaned into your mouth when he felt you. “You’re all ready for me.”

“Of course,” you hummed. “I never half-ass a present.”

He brought his hand down on your bare ass cheek in a slap, making you squeal, and squeezed it. “No, you do not.” He stuck his tongue back into your mouth and you worked to get his uniform unzipped and off of him. He had untied your bra and he broke away from you to take one of your nipples into his mouth. You gasped and arched your head back, your fingers gripping the back of his hair to hold him to you. You let out a moan while he nibbled away at you. He had you on the edge already and he’d barely touched you.

You pulled him back up to you, kissing him deeply, as you started working on his belt. You had just worked his jeans down enough so you could pull him out to stroke him when his hand stopped you. “Sweetheart, wait, wait.”

You pouted. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have a condom.”

You smirked. “Is that all?”

“Is that all? Uh, yeah, and that’s a problem. My wallet’s in my locker up top. I know we usually just…you know, if we don’t have them, but uh, I’m not going to lie, I really want to enjoy my present right now,” he ended with a nervous laugh. “Every inch of it.” He slapped your ass cheek again and leaned forward, nipping at your breast before kissing the sting away.

“Well, then it’s your lucky day that I’m the world's most amazing girlfriend, Tom Hanniger.” You reached into the pocket of your jacket and pulled out two condoms, holding them up in front of his face.

He glanced up at you in awe. “You really are.” He snatched the condoms from you, putting one into his pocket and opening the other. You leaned in and kissed the spot underneath his ear while he got ready for you. “I told you,” you murmured. “I never half-ass a present. Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”

He turned to look at you, holding you steady as he made sure your uniform was covering your back. He began to slip into you and you both groaned by the time he bottomed out, he was a few inches above your lips, smiling. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.” He then kissed you and began to give you what you both wanted.

It was quick, hurried, frenzied even. As much as you loved each other, this wasn’t the time or place to take your time. You both could be caught at any moment, it was dangerous like Tom said… You could take your time with each other later.

Tom had to cover your mouth when you came and you’d had to cover his when he crossed the finish line. You’d felt every grunt sound he made against your palm and it only turned you on more. You almost wished you had forgotten the condoms but you knew Tom wouldn’t be deep inside you right now if you had. Tom was adamant about protection, just like you were, but you loved him and trusted him. Plus, you had been on the pill for years but you knew Eli Hanniger had drilled it into his son’s head to always cover it up unless he wanted some girl to put him in a position someday where he’d be trapped into a marriage and forced to share half his money. You tried not to take it too personally when Eli had looked over at you after that little nugget of his own brand of wisdom on one of the many nights Tom had to pick his drunken dad up from the local bar.

Eli couldn’t have been more wrong. You loved Tom but you also had your own goals in life that you didn’t want deterred by parenthood earlier than expected. Not to mention, Tom could be the poorest guy in town and you would still love him and want to be with him. You’d loved Tom since you were five, ever since he’d seen you crying because all of the markers were gone in kindergarten class and everyone was making a picture but you. He came over to give you the red one he’d been using with a cute smile that was meant to reassure you. You’d smiled back at him, sniffling, your face wet, as you both worked together to make a picture. You’d been close ever since.

Once you were in high school, things changed between you. You’d had to watch as he dated girl after girl until finally junior year came. You changed up your look a little, didn’t have your nose stuck in a book every other minute, and the guys began to slowly take notice of you. Tom had been jealous when you told him you were going on a date with one of his teammates. You two had been arguing in his car when he leaned over and kissed you out of the blue. Needless to say, you had canceled that date and Tom stopped hooking up with one of the cheerleaders he’d been casually seeing at the time.

You both were happy. You both attended the same university and you spent the holidays together with your families. Well, you and Tom spent the holidays with your family; Eli wanted no part of it. It was almost as if because you weren’t a mining family or a well-off family, you weren’t good enough for him to bother gracing you with his presence at your dinner table. Just like you weren’t good enough to be dating his son, unlike Sarah Mercer whose parents owned the grocery store in town. That was who Eli kept pushing Tom towards but Tom told his dad he didn’t have eyes for anyone but you. He loved you and someday, he wanted to marry you. Your heart warmed when you overheard him say that. Which immediately hardened when you heard his dad then say “You’re a fool. That girl just wants your money! Sarah’s an actually decent hard-working girl. You’d be better off with her than that other one.” Tom didn’t say anything else and you had gone back to the book you were reading, pretending to be caught up in it, when he came out, hurrying to take your hand and get out of there. You never let on that you’d heard what he said…and what he didn’t say.

And you may have taken the initiative to show him how much you loved him and wanted to keep you with him. Which is why you had risked coming down here to have semi-public sex in a dangerous mine, wearing a lingerie set you would usually never be caught dead in. You had already planned to go all out that evening once you made it to the hotel room you’d reserved in town, but you also wanted to give him something to remember, something he’d never ever forget. Now, you would always be in his mind, having made your mark, no matter what might happen with your relationship. You just hoped you made a mark on his heart, too, at some point while you’d been together, and that he didn’t let his dad’s obvious prejudice against you and your family sway him away from you.

Tom’s head dropped to your shoulder as he attempted to come down from his high, trying to catch his breath. You kissed the side of his head, not caring about the damp sweat or coal mine smell coming off of him. You leaned your head up next to his ear. “I love you, Tom. I’ll love you forever,” you whispered. You knew he heard you when he squeezed you, still panting harshly against your skin.

“Always,” he whispered back to you.

You hugged him tightly then.

A little while later, you were both redressed, hardhats back on your heads as you waited for Fred to arrive with the cart to take you back up top. Tom had called Tunnel 3 to ask him to come back for you. He had his arms around you from behind and he was smiling down at you. “Thank you for my present,” he murmured. Unable to really kiss you or nuzzle you thanks to the hardhats, he pressed a kiss to your shoulder and tightened his arms around you.

“I’ve got another one for later.”

He turned to look at you quizzically which then turned into a glimmer of hope.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “I bought another set. Deep red and more ribbons.” You wiggled an eyebrow playfully at him.

“I fucking love you.” His smile was bright as he carefully leaned in to kiss your neck, making you giggle.

“Hey, lovebirds!” You both looked up to see Fred turning the corner a little further down the shaft, having a clear view of the two of you. “Break it up! I haven’t had my lunch yet and I don’t want it spoiled!”

Tom rolled his eyes but let you go. “Ha ha, Fred. Very funny.”

Fred came to a stop in front of you, scowling at both of you. “Time to go.”

You hugged Tom quickly and then climbed into the cart. He had his hands out around you, ready to assist you if need be. Once you were settled inside, Tom hurriedly took his hat off and leaned in to kiss you.

“Hey, hey! Put your hat back on, Tom! Don’t be even more of an idiot! This whole thing could come down at any time, you know.”

Tom kept peppering your lips with kisses, making you laugh and him smile, before he finally heeded Fred’s warning. He straightened up and slipped his hardhat back on, grabbing your hand and kissing it. “Take care of my girl, Fred. Get her back safe.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Fred muttered and started up the cart.

Tom walked beside you, still holding your hand. “I can’t wait for later.”

You smirked. “I know you can’t.”

His cheeks darkened a little and he gave you a sheepish smile, letting out a laugh. “That, too, but I was talking about our date. I think you’re really going to love the place I picked out for us.”

Your smirk melted into a genuine smile. “I know I will because I love anything that comes from you.” You heard Fred snort next to you but you couldn’t care less. So what if you were being cheesy? It was Valentine’s Day and you meant what you said.

Tom’s smile grew and you could see it reaching his eyes. “I love you.” You both noticed you were about to make a turn that he couldn’t follow you down. He kissed your hand one more time and let you go. “See you tonight.”

“See you then. I love you, too,” you called back to him. You watched as he got further and further away, the last thing you saw being him holding his hand up in a wave as he smiled. You waved back before the cart completed the turn and he completely disappeared from your view.

The date didn’t end up happening due to the collapse that happened later. Word of it spread fast once it happened and even though you knew Tom should be home by then, you still worried. Thankfully, he returned your call ten minutes later and told you what happened. You rushed right over to be with him, all plans for the night forgotten, though Eli was less than pleased. Apparently, word of your visit had spread around the mines well before you had made it to the top.

“That girl is a problem!” Eli yelled. “She’s reckless! And now she’s made you reckless!”

Tom let go of your hand and jumped to his feet. “Don’t talk about her like that!”

You got up and hugged Tom’s arm, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. “Shhh,” you murmured. “Don’t. It’s not worth it. Okay?”

Eli didn’t like seeing that. His face got red and he was louder than before. “It’s like I’ve been telling you! That girl is only after one thing and that’s your money! When are you going to wake up, start using the other brain God gave you, and see it for yourself?” He threw his glass of Scotch at the wall, making you wince at the shattering sound, and left in a huff.

Tom went to follow him, to yell back at him, but you kept him there. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. He’s upset. Here, sit with me.” Tom did as you urged and you rested your chin on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He glanced over at you, his eyes glassy. “I think I really fucked up, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?”

“After you left, I went back to work. I was in the cage, adjusting my gear, when the condom and your underwear fell out. I forgot I had them. I picked them up as fast as I could and stuffed them back in but Harry Warden saw.” He shook his head. “He gave me a hard time about doing my job and I told him I had it, I knew what I was doing. They now think he’s one of the miners trapped. He’s unaccounted for.” He compulsively swallowed and turned to look at you, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I forgot to bleed the lines,” he whispered.

Your eyes couldn’t get any wider if they tried. You reached out to wipe his tear away as you tried to rein in your reaction.

“I was thinking about our date tonight, about you, and I got distracted. I forgot to do the one thing I’m supposed to do every day before I leave. This collapse happened because of me,” he choked out before breaking down. You pulled him into you, holding him and shushing him, whispering reassurances to him. All while the heavy truth settled down around you and began to constrict your chest. It wasn’t Tom’s fault; it was yours.

It didn’t surprise you one bit a few weeks later when Tom broke up with you. He explained it as there was a lot happening, he was being blamed for the murders of the other miners that Harry committed, and his dad told him he just needed to continue working and keep his head down. No distractions. Which meant no more you, though Tom never actually said it but you knew that’s what he was implying Eli had told him.

It broke your heart when he broke it off between you but you understood. Tom had basically become a pariah overnight. Once he admitted to the investigators that he forgot to bleed the lines, the town he’d lived in his whole life turned against him. Harry may have done the actual killing, but it was Tom who’d put Harry in that position in the first place, or so they’d said. Some folks even gave you dirty looks in town as well but it was nothing compared to how Tom was treated. While you loved him and wanted to stay together, you could understand if he needed some space. You let him go with a hug, telling him you were still around if he needed a friendly ear, trying your best not to let any tears fall so you wouldn’t make him feel worse. His jaw had clenched but he nodded, choked out a “Thanks”, and walked to his car. You watched as he left, remembering back to the image of him getting further and further away from the mine cart you were in. Once he disappeared down the street, you finally let out the tears you’d been holding onto. A sob tore its way out of your throat when you remembered he had held up his hand in a wave, smiling, while you smiled and waved back. Because all you could think about was what you thought in that moment: Let this be the last time we separate like this.

And as luck and Eli Hanniger would have it, in the next month or so, rumors spread that Tom Hanniger was now dating Sarah Mercer. You didn’t want to believe them, to believe that he’d finally pushed you aside for one of the girls you’d both grown up with who always had a gooey-eyed expression for Tom, the girl his father had wanted him to date in the first place. You didn’t want to believe that he would be so quick to throw away what the two of you had just to make his father happy. But deep down, you knew it was true. Tom had always wanted to get his father’s approval and he always had a soft spot for Sarah so why wouldn’t it be true? You could even understand a little, considering what had happened and Tom was in the hot seat with every resident of Harmony, thanks to you. But it still hurt like hell. You still loved him enough, though, to hope that he was happy.

You pushed those thoughts out of your head. No use in continuing to blame yourself now. It didn’t change anything. “Are you okay…being here?”

He seemed a little caught off guard at the change of subject but then he glanced back at the tunnel entrance. “Yeah.” He turned back to you. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

You nodded and dropped your gaze to the ground, not sure what else to say.

“Did you bring your hardhat this time?”

Your head snapped up and he was giving you half a smile, his eyes having that familiar teasing gleam in them. You couldn’t help but smile back, appreciating the attempt at levity and familiarity. “Did you?”

He snickered and shook his head, biting at his lip.

You chuckled and took a step closer. “How are you really, Tom?”

His smile faded. “Better.” He then briefly dropped his eyes. “Sarah. She helps.”

Your smile dropped altogether and you could feel that stinging sensation in your eyes again. “Oh.” You bit the inside of your cheek to keep tears from welling up. You didn’t even know what to say to that. “I’m glad, I guess.”

His expression fell and he took a step closer. “I didn’t mean—”

You took a step backwards, your hand up. “It’s okay. Really. I’m happy that she’s able to do that for you.” You took a breath. “I should go. Rina and the girls are waiting on me, so… Good to see you, Tom. I’m glad you’re doing well.” You gave him a wan smile and turned to leave.

“Y/N, wait. Y/N.”

You continued walking, eager to put some distance between you two until you could rein in your emotions. While Tom and Sarah might go off in their own section of the mine, you also might have to see them together. And you needed to prepare for that, especially with your last memories of the time you were here and all that occurred after.

You were halfway to the entrance when you heard a scream. You stopped short, wondering if it had just been someone fooling around and having fun though it sounded terrified. You heard it again and before you knew it, people were running out of the tunnel at a fast speed, hurrying to their cars. “Oh no,” you gasped when you realized something was wrong, thinking another collapse must have happened. “Rina.”

You were just about to run towards the tunnel when a strong hand gripped your arm, whipping you around to face Tom. “I don’t know what this is,” he said. “But get out of here. Go back to your car and get the hell away. As fast as you can.”

“What? No! I can’t leave! Rina, Taylor, and Destiny are in there! We came together!”

He framed your face with his hands. “Y/N, listen to me. You need to go. It could be another collapse.” He released you and urged you to go.

“No! I told you, I—”

Just then there were more screams as more people ran out. Tom turned back to you. “I have to go get Sarah. Run back to your car, Y/N! Do the same as these people! I’ll catch up with you later!”

Your eyes widened. “What? No, Tom! If you’re telling me not to go in, you’re not going, either!”

He went to answer you when a guy running past you yelled, “There’s some crazy guy in there killing everybody! Run!”

You and Tom glanced at one another, both shocked. Neither of you knew who the guy was talking about or why this was happening. But that didn’t matter. Screw holding your tears back. “Tom,” you sobbed. “I can’t lose you, okay? I know you want to go save Sarah but she’s probably hiding somewhere with Rina and the girls and they’ll be safe, okay?” You knew that probably wasn’t the case and it was wrong of you not to let him run in to help but you were terrified of losing him. “Please, don’t go in! Please!”

“I’ve got to go! I’ve got to get her! I’m sorry!” He yanked his arm out of your grip and turned to leave.

“I’m going, too! I can help!”

You didn’t make it two feet until you were picked up and placed back down in front of Tom who was ducking his head to look you in the eye. “I can’t lose you, either, okay? I need to know you’re safe. Please, sweetheart, go get in your car and drive out of here.” He picked up a flashlight someone had dropped while running. “I’m going to get Sarah and get out of here myself. If I see Rina and the others, I’ll grab them, too. I’ll meet you at the hospital. There’s probably going to be a lot of people who need help.”

“That’s why I should stay. I may be pre-med but I can—”

He huffed out a breath and leaned down to kiss you. As he had probably planned, it stunned you. He placed his forehead against yours. “Go, baby,” he murmured. “To the hospital. We’ll be right behind you.”

Before you could say anything else, he hightailed it down to the tunnel, running past people who were still spilling out of the entrance but in fewer and fewer numbers. The last thing you saw was him disappearing inside before you turned and ran back to your car. You didn’t feel right leaving, especially with your friends and Tom still in the tunnel, but you would do as he asked. You’d already selfishly distracted him once; you wouldn’t do so again.

<-->

You rang the bell of the Hanniger household for the third time, feeling impatience and worry gnawing at you.

You shouldn’t have been surprised when a swaying Eli finally opened the door or that it was only 1:00 in the afternoon yet he was this inebriated. If he were a better man — a better father even — you might feel sorry for him. His mines weren’t doing too well these days.

“What do you want?” He slurred out.

You lifted your chin. “I’m here to see your son.”

He snorted. “You mean my fuckup of a son?” He held the door wider in invitation.

You stepped in before he could change his mind. “No, your son. Not his fuckup of a father,” you spat before storming off to find Tom.

“Sure, come into my house and talk to me like that! You kids have no goddamn respect these days!” He yelled.

You spun around and yelled back, “Go and get another drink, Eli! That’s all you care about anyway!”

“You little bitch!”

You ignored him and ran upstairs to Tom’s room. You found the door closed and you gently knocked. “Tom?”

No answer.

You knocked again. “Tom, it’s me.” You briefly closed your eyes, remembering things were different than they had been the last time you were here. “Y/N.”

A moment later, Tom opened the door and stood there. He did not look well. He had deep, dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept since what happened. His face was drawn, pale, and it was obvious he hadn’t shaved for a bit. His hair looked as if he had just recently run his fingers through it. He was in a hoodie, sweat pants, and socks. It was hard to tell in this light but it looked like he had lost a little weight.

“Hey.” His voice sounded rough, as if he either hadn’t been using it for a while or he had been yelling and near losing it. You hoped it was the former. If it was the latter, then that could mean possible night terrors and you didn’t want that for him.

“Hey. Is it okay if I come in?”

He nodded and walked away, leaving the door open. After you closed it behind you, you noticed he was trying to cover the messy bed with the blanket. You noticed a stale smell, as if a window hadn’t been opened in some time, and you spied dirty plates spotting the landscape of his room. You also took note of a half-empty bottle of liquor on his desk. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting company.”

“That’s okay. Don’t worry about it” You laid a tentative hand on his back as he moved and was pleased to see him not immediately shirk it off. After what happened with Harry Warden in the tunnel, for a while he hadn’t wanted anyone touching him. “I just came to see how you’re doing.”

“Not great,” he muttered, turning to sit on his bed. You took a seat next to him, waiting for him to elaborate. “I don’t know what to do, Y/N,” he eventually confessed. “I see him everywhere. I see him when I sleep, I see him when I’m awake. I see him everywhere I go, no matter who’s around, night or day. I don’t know what to do.”

Harry had woken from his coma that night and gone on a killing spree. First at the hospital and then at the mines. Right to the Valentine’s Day party that was being thrown. He didn’t care who he came across, Harry killed them one by one. Sadly, Destiny and Taylor hadn’t made it. Rina had; she was injured but she’d survived. Sarah, Axel, and Irene made it, too, though they were traumatized. They were all traumatized, just like Tom. Tom, who had gone back for Sarah, urged her to run out of there with Axel, and had nearly gotten killed for it. When you thought about how close you came to losing him… You really didn’t want to think about it.

You carefully placed a hand on his bicep and when he didn’t tense, you rubbed your thumb back and forth soothingly. “Have you given any more thought to seeing someone…and talking about it?”

He pulled away from you and ran a hand down his face. “They’re just going to think I’m crazy and want to throw me on meds.”

“Maybe not,” you whispered. “You’ve been traumatized, Tom. They might give you medication to help you sleep but trauma isn’t something that has a magic cure all. I’m not a doctor but I would think that they’ll probably recommend therapy. I mean, is Harry…talking to you when you see him?”

“No, Y/N, I’m not hearing voices in my head if that’s what you’re asking,” he snapped before getting up and walking away.

“Tom, that’s not what I— I’m sorry, I know you’re not hearing voices. I was only trying to make you feel better by ruling it out. That’s all.”

He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. He glanced down at you, his jaw tight. “I’m glad you came here today. You should know, I’ve decided to leave town.”

You were immediately on your feet. “And go where?”

He shrugged. “Wherever that isn’t here.” He moved over to the bed and threw off one corner of the blanket to reveal a bag he had been packing. “I can’t stay here, Y/N. It’s too much. Maybe if I can get far enough away…”

“He won’t follow you,” you finished, still staring at the half-packed bag. You almost had to wonder if he would have told you if you hadn’t shown up today. He hid the bag from you for a reason; he knew you wouldn’t want him to leave.

You should’ve known it was coming to this or Tom would have a full on breakdown. First, he broke up with Sarah. Then he withdrew from the public altogether. Now, he was holed up in his room, never leaving it, and repeatedly being terrified and thus re-traumatized each time he saw Harry. Something had to give; he needed to get out of here.

You felt a lump forming in your throat at the idea of him leaving but you swallowed it back down just as fast. This wasn’t about you. If this was what Tom needed, you would support him. You met his gaze. “Will you call me once you get to where you’re going? Just so I know you made it safely and that you’re okay?”

His eyes softened and he came towards you, cupping your face. “You’ve always understood me. Better than anyone else in this goddamn town.” You noticed he didn’t answer your question and you had a feeling that he planned to leave permanently, never looking back. This time, you couldn’t prevent the lump from forming in your throat or the tears building in your eyes.

“Are you going to be okay?” You nearly winced at the breaks in your voice.

“I will be,” he whispered before pulling you into him and pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Sighing into your ear, he hugged you tightly. “I will be.”

You burrowed into him further, whispering against his shirt, “I love you, Tom. I’ll love you forever.”

You knew he heard you when he murmured back to you, “I love you, too, sweetheart. Always will.” You could hear the breaks in his own voice but still, you smiled. As painful as this was going to be, as heartbreaking as it was, Tom still loved you, just as much as you loved him. Always…and forever.

<-->

You were just finishing up notes in a patient file when someone knocked on your open door and stuck their head into your office. You glanced up to find a familiar face and smiled.

“Well, if it isn’t Dr. Y/L/N,” he said, waltzing in.

You closed the file and took off your glasses. “Well, if it isn’t Deputy Martin,” you laughed. He handed you a cup of coffee. “Aww, thank you. You don’t know how much I needed this.”

“No problem. You still take it that way, right?”

You took a sip. “I do,” you smiled.

“So, how’s things in the world of psychiatry?” He took a seat on the edge of your desk.

“Interesting. As always. How about you? How’s things in the law enforcement world?”

“Interesting. As always.”

You chuckled and took another sip of your coffee. “So, what brings you to my side of the hospital? And bearing gifts, no less?”

He shrugged. “I was in the neighborhood and figured I’d check in.”

“Oh? That’s nice.” Chris pressed his lips together and you tilted your head at him, knowing what that little tic meant. “Uh oh. What’s going on?”

He smirked, shaking his head. “I hate it when you do that.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Then don’t be so obvious. I know you too well, Chris. Come on, tell me. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just… I was wondering if you knew that Tom was back in town.”

Your smile immediately dropped and you placed the coffee down. You put your glasses back on and opened the file back up, holding the pen in your hand as you glanced over your notes. “Yeah. I heard he was here.”

How could you not? It was a small town after all. News and gossip spread faster than wildfire here. The word on the street was that Tom was back to sell the mines and no one was happy about that.

When you didn’t hear anything else, you glanced up to find Chris giving you a knowing look. “What?”

“Has he been by to see you?”

Well, that hurt. You knew Chris wasn’t asking you that to hurt you but it didn’t mean the question still didn’t cause you pain. You shook your head and went back to your file. “No. And I don’t expect he will be.”

Ben had already complained down at the local bar, before Tom even showed up, that the damn kid was going to sell the mines and Eli would be turning over in his grave if he knew. He was only coming into town to sign the paperwork and then he’d be off again to God knew where. He’d even assured everyone he switched the paper signing until the Monday following Tom’s arrival, in hopes that he could get him to change his mind.

When you heard Tom was coming back, you didn’t get your hopes up though your heart lightened at the news. You hadn’t seen or heard from Tom in ten years. He’d literally pulled a disappearing act. While you expected it, it still hurt that he never once called or wrote to you to let you know that he was still alive. Not once.

Besides, you already knew who he’d dropped in to see the minute he hit town. You supposed one needed groceries and toiletries, that sort of thing, if they were going to stay for a weekend they hadn’t initially planned on. And the fact that Sarah now ran the store and was there practically all day every day was just a coincidence.

You knew better of course and you couldn’t pretend like it didn’t break your heart just a little more. So, no, you didn’t expect to see him at all. And as much as it hurt to admit it to yourself, it was probably for the best.

While a part of you still loved Tom and always would, you now had the benefits of maturity, age, and experience. When you looked back on your relationship, it had been one of intense young love and folly for you, first love even. And while you had more compassion and understanding along with a more detached view of things through a different lens now, you could admit there were some things that occurred that weren’t so great. For example, your decision to surprise him in the mines for a Valentine’s Day quickie, all because you loved him so much and was desperate to do whatever it took to keep him with you. You’d put both of you at risk and while Tom was an adult who was responsible for his own decisions, you still took responsibility for being the one to initiate the whole thing. It had been your idea after all. Then there had been his breaking it off with you and choosing to date Sarah not even a month later. While he was single and an adult, free to make his own decisions, the fact that he did it partially to please his father was not an okay reason in your book to hurt you and toss you aside as if you meant nothing. As the adage went, hindsight was truly 20/20. You were no longer that young, foolish girl anymore. If Tom wanted to see you, he would see you. If he didn’t, then he didn’t. It was that simple. You weren’t going to sway things one way or the other.

“Come on, Y/N. I know you just as well. You’re telling me, you don’t hope he stops by before he skips town again?”

You smiled up at Chris. “Not in the slightest.”

<-->

You threw on your lab coat, lifting your hair out of the neckline. You twisted your hair up into a bun and stuck a pen through it. You placed your stethoscope around your neck and then traded your heels for the nurse’s shoes you kept in a desk drawer for situations like these.

There had been an explosion at the mines and it was an all hands on deck situation in the ER. So far, two survivors had been found and were being brought in. They were still clearing the mines to make sure no one else had been hurt. You were getting ready to lock up your office and head down to see what you could do to help.

You were grabbing pens to put in your pocket, tossing a red pen back into the drawer, when out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a figure in the doorway.

“Doc,” a man gasped.

“I’m sorry. I’m about to run down to the ER. There’s been an emergency in town and all doctors are needed. I can find you a nurse if you—”

You dropped the remaining pens in your hand when you glanced up to find a bleeding Tom Hanniger standing in your doorway, holding onto his side. “Tom,” you gasped, frozen.

His pained glare suddenly transformed into one of the most terrifying smirks you had ever seen in your life. “Guess again.” He then shut the door behind him, locking it, before he started making his way over to you.

<-->

You rushed off the elevator, hurrying over to where a bloodied Sarah was nervously pacing in the surgery waiting room. You noticed Chris was with her as was Deputy Ferris. Sarah’s little boy, Noah, was sitting on one of the seats behind her, playing quietly with his toy.

“Sarah,” you called.

She turned to see you approaching and immediately hurried over to you, throwing her arms around you, beginning to cry. You rubbed her back soothingly and shushed her. “You’re alright now.”

Sarah pulled back out of your embrace. “Tom, he’s… He’s gone.”

You pressed your lips together, your eyes tearing up. “I know,” you choked out. Based on what you had just seen and heard, you knew she was speaking the truth.

She hugged you again and you embraced her back tightly, tears rolling down your cheeks as you saw Chris watching you both. You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a quiet sob when you heard Sarah crying again. You both held each other as you both quietly mourned the Tom you both had loved.

<-->

You unlocked your office door and stepped inside before locking it again. You began to empty your pockets of the supplies you’d nabbed when a figure moved from behind a filing cabinet in the far corner and appeared in your vision, making you quietly gasp.

There stood Tom, still holding his wounded side. “What took so long?” He demanded.

Your jaw tightened as you remembered who you were dealing with now. “Sorry, Harry. I had to get supplies without causing any eyebrows to raise. That takes time. Now, come sit down.”

He warily approached and sat down on the edge of the desk as you directed. You snapped gloves on and he moved his hand away from his side when you prompted him to. He hissed in pain as you began to prod at the bullet wound.

“Can you fix me up or not?” He growled.

“Well, Harry, as I told you, I’m not a surgeon. But I will do my best.” You began to gently wipe away the blood, from both the entry and exit sites. “The good news is it looks like the bullet went straight through.”

“I told you that,” he snapped.

“Yes and I’m confirming it,” you snapped back. It was very strange to have someone you hated so much inside of the body of the person you loved most.

“Just do your goddamn job, Doc.”

You snapped up straight and looked him right in the eye. “Let’s get something straight, the only reason I’m helping you right now is because of Tom. I could care less what happens to you, you son of a bitch.”

He gave you that smirk again that made your blood run cold. “And let’s get something else straight. If you don’t fix me up, I’ll kill you. Got it?”

You didn’t answer him. Instead, you grabbed a pad of gauze, dumped some of your finest alcohol on it, and slapped it onto the injury site, making him yell out in pain. You smirked in satisfaction though inside you felt guilty. Sorry, Tom. You really wished you could expel Harry from him, like he was some sort of demon you could exorcise.

“Sorry about that.” You were anything but. “I have to clean the site before I inspect it for further damage.”

His chest was heaving and he was glaring at you. “Just do your job, bitch. Or you’re dead,” he grunted.

You huffed out a snort and repeated the process with the exit site, making him grit his teeth, a pained yell straining against them. You proceeded to make sure there wasn’t any critical damage that you could see and then went about starting to suture the wound. You ignored the grunts and gritting of his teeth the entire time and just focused on falling back on your training. You’d barely flinched when he started drinking your booze. (it was his fault he wouldn’t let you use any needles to apply local anesthetics) When you were done, you snipped the loose tail of the sutures and then bandaged up the area. You quickly cleaned and bandaged the wounds on his face and treated any burns he might have. The entire time you did, you felt pain and remorse for Tom for each wound you found that would now scar his body. Though you supposed scars were a small price to pay considering the explosion he’d been in that could have killed him. Your jaw clenched at the thought and you hated Harry even more.

You finished cleaning him up and threw out the last bit of bloody gauze. “It’s probably a waste of time to say this to you but you need to take it easy with that bullet wound, keep the area clean, and come back in two weeks to have the sutures removed. If any extreme bleeding occurs, you should get to the ER immediately. If the sutures pop out, you should do the same. If you start to develop a fever or other—”

“Yeah, Doc, I got it.” He slowly got to his feet and held a hand to his side. “Not bad.”

You took off your gloves and threw them to the side, crossing your arms. “Am I free to go now?”

His eyes snapped over to you and you could swear you could see a whole other person. In Tom’s eyes, the eyes you loved, you saw Harry, and they were darker and harder than Tom’s green could ever be. Tom clearly wasn’t the one in the driver’s seat, even if his behavior and personality right then weren’t already making that obvious. “For now. But if you screw me over, I’m coming back for you.” A hint of a smirk appeared on his face as if he enjoyed that idea, almost hoping you would give him the excuse.

You knew he was waiting for you to tremble in fear at his threat but you didn’t. “Truly, Harry, I hope I never see you again.” With that, you walked out of your office and you refused to give him the satisfaction of looking back.

<-->

You knocked on the open room door and stuck your head in. “Hey,” you greeted with a small smile.

Axel and Sarah both glanced over and saw you.

“Hey.” Axel faintly smiled.

Sarah got up and gave you another hug. You rubbed her shoulder as she returned to her seat next to her husband and you came to a stop at the foot of the bed. “So, how’s the patient?”

“He’s doing well.” Sarah smiled as she took Axel’s hand in hers. “He’ll be in here for a little while but then he can come home.” Axel turned his smile onto her. You glanced back and forth between them. Apparently, that marriage was no longer on the rocks. You were glad for Sarah’s sake, though you still thought she could do better. Despite how things went with Tom, you didn’t blame her or hold her responsible. She had always been kind to you, good to Tom, and you knew she was a decent person. You could almost understand why Tom had loved her so much.

You forced a smile onto your face. “Glad to hear it.”

Another knock on the door garnered your attention. You turned to see Chris walk in. He came to a stop next to you. “Hey, Sheriff. Sarah. Y/N.”

“Hey,” Axel greeted. You gave him a nod and Sarah gave him a smile.

He turned to look at you but you were already steps ahead of him. “Did you do as I asked?”

He nodded. “Picked him up about an hour ago. Had to ask for that town’s sheriff to help but we got him. And he doesn’t know it has anything to do with you. We purposely mentioned in front of him that a store owner from that town called it in after recognizing him from the news.”

“Thanks.” He gave you another nod.

“Wait, what are you two talking about?” Axel asked. Sarah looked just as curious while also fearful.

You pressed your lips together and Chris turned to face his boss. “We picked up Tom Hanniger in the next town over. We have him in custody and we’re starting processing.”

Both of their eyes went wide. “Tom’s alive?” Sarah gasped.

The deputy exchanged glances with you. “In a way but he goes by Harry now.”

“Shit,” Axel breathed. “You need to call in every reinforcement. We don’t have the manpower to hold him.”

Chris held up a placating hand. “It’s already done but trust me, we’ve got him locked down. As it is, the DA and the Judge are deciding what to do with him.” He looked over at you.

“Deciding what to do with him? What does that mean?” Axel’s eyes were on you, too.

“Harmony isn’t the place for Tom to be right now. It’s his trigger and that’s why Harry is currently in control. I’ve asked for a meeting with the DA and Judge Harrison as well as the Chief of my department to discuss Tom’s case.” You took a breath, knowing this next part wasn’t going to go over well. “We’re looking to get him moved to a maximum security psychiatric hospital up North.”

“Are you kidding me?” Axel started to sit up but grunted in pain.

Sarah got up and gently pushed his shoulder down. “Axel, be careful. You just had major surgery yesterday.”

“Sheriff, easy. You’re still healing,” Chris chimed in.

He ignored both of them. “After all of the people he’s killed? People are going to want justice and to see it done here in Harmony.”

You could feel an age-old anger welling up inside of you but you tried to tamp it back down. “He’s not mentally competent to stand trial, Axel.”

“Not mentally competent? Really? That’s the excuse we’re going with here? He was mentally competent when he killed those people! When he lied about it and tried to cover it up and blame me! When he attacked me and my wife, about to kill us! When killed Rosa and came for my son!” He gripped onto Sarah’s hand.

“I understand that. But the law states—”

“No offense, Y/N,” Axel interrupted. “But you’re not an expert on the law. Leave that to people like Judge Harrison who actually know the law.” Well, so much for you keeping that anger and resentment in check.

“None taken. And no offense, Axel, but you’re not an expert in psychological disorders, either. Leave that to people like myself who know what we’re talking about,” you snapped.

Chris laid a gentle hand on your shoulder and held up his other hand in Axel’s direction. “Hey, hey, now. We’re all on the same team here. We all want the same thing.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Do we?” He dropped his hand. You then glared over at Axel and Sarah. “Let’s not pretend like you two and Irene didn’t leave Tom there to die back when Harry was on a killing spree which severely traumatized him and that’s why all of this happened in the first place! That’s what started this whole thing!”

Sarah looked ashamed and stayed quiet. Your ire wasn’t really for her anyway. You knew she had been wanting to go back to help Tom before Harry threw that pickaxe. Axel, on the other hand, saw red. “Are you kidding me? We were about to be killed! I had to get her and Irene out of there! Tom would have done the same had it been him and it would’ve been the right thing to do! Regardless, it doesn’t excuse anything that Tom or Harry or whatever the fuck he calls himself now did! And us leaving him alone started this? No, let’s talk about really started this whole thing off! You decided to go down into the mines to give your boy toy a little nookie, he got distracted and forgot to clear the lines, then boom! The mines collapsed on top of Harry Warden and the others and that’s what really started this off! Because Harry wouldn’t have been in the mines a year later, killing people, and nothing would have happened to Tom or any of us! So you want to play the blame game? Look in the mirror, Y/N!” Sarah was softly telling him to stop but he ignored her. “Oh, and let’s not pretend that you’re not doing anything but trying to make excuses for the guy you’re still hung up on after all these years who didn’t give a fuck about you and dropped you like a bad habit the minute his daddy told him to! Who left you behind to rot!”

Your left eye was starting to twitch, something that only happened when you were either very stressed or very angry. Right then, it was definitely the latter. Sarah’s gaze was trained on her hand covering her husband’s and Chris was looking down at the footboard. You forced yourself to speak calmly but firmly. “That has nothing to do with this. It has to do with helping someone who needs help. I’m simply doing my job and the right thing at the same time. When was the last time you could say the same for yourself, Axel?” His jaw clenched but he stayed quiet and you gave him the worst glare you could summon up. “Get well soon.”

You turned and walked out of the room. You were right about one thing; Sarah could do better.

You were waiting for the elevator when you heard Chris come up behind you, laying a hand on your shoulder to stop you. “Hey, hey, hey.” You spun around to face him and he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the fabric of your coat. “Are you okay?”

You unclenched your jaw long enough to say, “I’m fine.”

He nodded and lowered his hand. “You know, it’s no excuse for the things he said but Axel’s in pain right now, he’s not thinking straight, and they just went through another traumatic experience of their own. And they have their son, who was there when Rosa was killed. He’s just dealing with a lot.”

“I get that, Chris. I do. But Tom didn’t do those things, Harry did.”

He sighed and put his hands on his hips. “Y/N, I’m not disagreeing with you but Tom did lie, he covered it up. Like the motel killings. Did Harry drive away from the scene, ignoring the trucker’s dead body in the lot, before we arrived or did Tom?”

You shook your head, looking away from him.

“I know Tom means a lot to you and I respect that. I know you have history and you want to help him.” He cupped your chin and forced you to meet his eyes. “But I also care about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt. There’s a possibility that Tom himself may not be who you actually think he is. Who any of us thought he was growing up.”

You gently lowered his hand. “Chris, I appreciate your concern and I know we had…something between us for a while. And I’m grateful that you helped me earlier, I really am. But I know Tom. He’s not a killer. He’s not Harry. Harry only exists because of the trauma he suffered. He doesn’t even know who he’s killed or what’s happened. I need to get him out of this town so I can begin working to get him back.”

Chris sighed and studied you for a moment. “Then how did he know about Megan and the words written above her body?”

“He got it from the card she wrote. You told me that yourself, Chris, because Sarah told you about it.”

“No, I mean, if Tom saw the card and Harry killed Megan and wrote those words in her blood, then how did Tom know they were written above her body?”

You realized he was making a good point but that didn’t change your mission. “I don’t know, but I intend to find out.” You then got onto the elevator that had just arrived, you and Chris watching each other as the doors closed.

<-->

Tom didn’t remember how he got here. He didn’t even remember waking up. One moment, Harry was about to attack him and Sarah wouldn’t save him, again. The next moment, he was in a white t-shirt and white pajama pants, stuck in a cell that looked strangely familiar. Had he dreamt all of it? Going back to Harmony, seeing Sarah again, dealing with that asshole Axel, trying to figure out who the killer was — all of it —had it all been one big nightmare?

He soon realized that wasn’t the case. His lawyer came to see him and informed him of the things he’d been accused of (after the man had been contacted to come back and speak to his actual client). As of right now, he was found to be mentally unfit to stand trial thanks to an impassioned argument by his doctor as well as himself. But that could change at any time. Tom insisted he hadn’t done those horrific things, that Harry Warden did, but nobody seemed to believe him or was even listening.

For the first few days, Tom had been desperate. A doctor came in and met with him, asked him how he was feeling, and then fully explained the disorder he had been diagnosed with. It turned out that he had been misdiagnosed in the last institution he had been in and improperly medicated. That was why the medication never worked. They had been treating him for delusions when in reality he had Dissociative Identity Disorder. He was going to be starting a therapy regimen as soon as possible. Harry had already been involuntarily involved in the program since his arrival here. The doctor also informed him that they had to keep Harry heavily sedated but depending on how things went with Tom, they might not have to do the same with him.

Tom had been completely dumbfounded. It was bad enough that he still carried the trauma of what happened back in ‘98 and it had followed him around for a decade, literally, but now Harry had become a permanent part of him? He would now never be able to outrun Harry. Not to mention, he was now officially on the hook for multiple murders thanks to the surly son of a bitch, even after what happened in 1997 and then a year later when he woke from his coma. Tom’s body count was extensive and he himself hadn’t even done anything. Well, except forget to bleed the lines that one time which led to the collapse that then started all of this, he supposed. So maybe he truly was responsible for all of those people’s horrific deaths, whether he swung the pickaxe himself or not.

One morning before the therapy began, they came to get him and brought him to a room that looked strikingly similar to a police interrogation room, with the two-sided mirror and everything, though there was white padding on the walls. He protested when they strapped him into a straitjacket but they told him it was for his own safety as well as the doctor’s. As if that weren’t enough, two large orderlies picked corners of the room to stand in, watching his every move.

Someone popped their head in to tell Tom his doctor would be meeting with him shortly, they were just finishing up with another patient. All Tom could do was nod. “Thanks,” he muttered.

A few minutes later, the doctor he’d been waiting for walked in. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw it was you. You gave him a small smile and took the seat opposite him. “Hello, Tom. I’m Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. How are we feeling today?”

“Um…okay.” He was still trying to recover from the shock of seeing you there. He hadn’t seen you since that night all of those years ago, right before he left town. He also thought you were working at Harmony Memorial last he heard, a pit stop he planned to make once he’d signed the papers to sell the mines. That is, before everything went to shit. “Y/N? What’s going on?”

“It’s Dr. Y/L/N,” you corrected. “And nothing’s going on. I’m here to evaluate you before we start your therapy regimen.” You opened a file and began glancing at the papers within. “The court requires it.”

Tom felt so lost. It had been hard enough waking up to what he did but now you were here? Clearly his doctor? And you were pretending not to know him? He didn’t know what to think or where to stick his head. “This can’t be real,” he said to himself and shook his head. “This can’t—”

“Shhh,” you soothed. “It’s okay, Tom. This is very real and we’re going to help you.” You clicked your pen and began making notes in his chart.

“Yeah, but you— You’re— And you’re pretending like— This can’t be real.”

Your eyes snapped up to his and you stopped writing. He didn’t know what you saw but you got to your feet and circled the table. You snapped your fingers and both orderlies looked away. “Actually, Tom, there’s something I forgot to mention.” You came up behind him and his nerves began to spike. Was he about to be drugged? Attacked? Would he finally wake up from this nightmare? Maybe he’d wake up to you; he’d give anything to have that happen.

He jumped a little when he felt your lips at his ear. “I’ll love you forever,” you whispered.

Automatically, the corner of Tom’s lips tipped up in a smile. Hearing that from you brought back so many good memories of your times together, of your relationship. He didn’t instantly relax but he felt a little lighter than he had a moment ago.

“Welcome back, Tom. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, sweetheart,” he whispered back to you.

His smile grew when he felt you brush a tender kiss to the side of his head before you straightened up and made your way back around the table. You snapped your fingers again and the orderlies were now facing forward, watching you both intently.

You sat back down and picked up your pen, giving him a genuine smile. “Now, Tom, shall we get started?”

He wished he could reach across the table and take your hand in his. You still looked at him as you did all of those years ago, like he didn’t have a murderous personality that left pain and suffering and dead bodies in its wake. You still looked at him as if he was the same guy you’d given your heart and body to back in high school. The same guy you’d once told that after you finished med school (when you got in), that you’d want to settle down with him and eventually start a family with him. The same guy you said you’d move wherever whenever for him if he didn’t want to stay in Harmony, if he didn’t want to take over for his dad one day. The same guy you looked at with complete devotion, affection, and reverence that he knew he didn’t deserve. And with you looking at him just like that right now, he knew he still didn’t deserve it but God did he love you for it. You still loved him; it was clear as day in your eyes. He realized then that you had meant back then every single word of what you just said; you would love him forever. He had meant what he said to you back then, too. Though he never should’ve given you up when his old man demanded it. What the hell had he been thinking?

You arched your brows at him expectantly, almost as if you knew what he had been thinking.

He leaned forward a little and gave you a soft smile, hoping you would understand what he was trying to tell you. “Always.”

You returned his smile, giving him a wink. You’d heard him. He began to relax and your smile then turned into a more professional one. “That’s what I like to hear. Alright, Tom. Let’s begin, shall we?”

A/N: For the record, I highly doubt Y/N could have been Tom's doctor, especially since a prosecutor could have argued that it was a conflict of interest and possibly gotten any records she'd made inadmissible. I think, anyway. But it was too fun an idea not to explore. Plus, I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that someone who has been diagnosed with DID is not incapable of being tried by the law for crimes committed, even if it was committed by one of their alters and they are completely innocent (I think). But I couldn't just have Tom go straight to jail in this one or even to trial. I wanted to focus on him coming back and Y/N helping him as well as their sort of reunion.

#tom hanniger x reader #tom hanniger x female reader #tom hanniger #my bloody valentine fanfiction #my bloody valentine #tom hanniger x you #tom hanniger x y/n #prompt response #my bloody valentine fandom #tom hanniger fanfiction #jensen ackles #jensen ackles character #thebiggerbear

52 notes · View notes