Shaytan loves for you to despair of Allah's Rahma. Allahs reply to shaytan: “By my honor and My glory, I swear, as long as they keep coming back to me, I will forgive them."
Your question suggests you can not fathom the depths of Allah's Rahma and Maghfirah (forgiveness)
Other people's condemnation of you is not a reflection of Allah's judgement of you.
Face yourself: are you sure you're not using this as an excuse to carry on doing what you're doing and persist in sin?
Al-haafith Ad-Diyaa' said concerning Ibrahim Ibn 'Abdil-Wahid Al- Maqdisi: He advised me at the time I travelled [for seeking knowledge]
Increase in recitation of the Qur'an and do not leave it. For indeed whatever you seek will be facilitated for you proportionate to what you recite.
Al-haafith Ad-Diyaa' then said:
I saw that and experienced it many times. If I recited a lot. then listening to hadith and writing a great deal of it down would become easy. When I didn't recite, that wouldn't become easy for me.
फरिश्ते जबरील ने डराकर हजरत मुहम्मद जी को ज्ञान दिया
अल्लाह कबीर जी ने बताया है
कि नबी मुहम्मद की आत्मा शिव (तमगुण) देवता के (शंकर द्वीप) लोक से आयी थी। भक्ति में ध्यान अधिक रहता था। जब उनको काल के भेजे फरिश्ते जबरील ने काल ब्रह्म वाला ज्ञान डरा-धमकाकर बताया जो हजरत मुहम्मद ने जनता तक पहुँचाया जो अधूरा तथा काल जाल में फँसाए रखने वाला ज्ञान है। जब मैंने (कबीर खुदा ने) देखा कि नेक आत्मा मुहम्मद काल के जाल में फँस गए हैं, तब उसे मिला। यहार्थ ज्ञान समझाया। उनके आग्रह पर उनको ऊपर अपने लोक में जहाँ मेरा (तख्त) सिंहासन है, लेकर गया। उसका शंकर द्वीप भी दिखाया जहाँ से वह पृथ्वी पर आया था। परंतु मुहम्मद ने सतलोक में रहने की इच्छा व्यक्त नहीं की। इसलिए वापिस शरीर में छोड़ दिया। फिर भी मुहम्मद की समय-समय पर गुप्त मदद करता रहा।
Its theme is to console the Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) and its object to remove his anxiety and distress, which he had been caused by the suspension of Revelation. First of all, swearing an oath by the bright morning and the stillness of night, he has been reassured, so as to say: "Your Lord has not at all forsaken you, nor is he displeased with you." Then, he has been given the good news that the hardships that he was experiencing in the initial stage of his mission, would not last long, for every later period of life for him would be better than the former period, and before long Allah would bless him so abundantly that he would be well pleased. This is one of the express prophecies of the Quran, which proved literally true, afterwards, whereas when this prophecy was made there seemed not to be the remotest chance that the helpless and powerless man who had come out to wage a war against the ignorance and paganism of the entire nation, would ever achieve such wonderful success.
Then, addressing His Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) Allah says: "O My dear Prophet, what has caused you the anxiety and distress that your Lord has forsaken you, and that We are displeased with you? Whereas the fact is that We have been good to you with kindness after kindness ever since the day of your birth. You were born an orphan, We made the best arrangement for your upbringing and care: you were unaware of the Way, We showed you the Way; you were indigent, We made you rich. All this shows that you have been favored by Us from the very beginning and Our grace and bounty has been constantly focused on you." Here, one should also keep in view vv. 37-42 of Surah Ta Ha, where Allah, while sending the Prophet Moses to confront a tyrant like Pharaoh, encouraged and consoled him, saying: "We have been looking after you with kindness ever since your birth; therefore, you should be satisfied that you will not be left alone in this dreadful mission. Our bounty will constantly be with you."
प्रमाणः- ऊपर "अल-खिज (अल-कबीर) की जानकारी" शीर्षक में बताया है कि जिस अल्लाह ने पवित्र पुस्तक "जबूर" का, पवित्र पुस्तक तौरेत तथा पवित्र पुस्तक इंजिल का ज्ञान दिया है। उसने हजरत मुहम्मद जी को भी बताया (जो पवित्र पुस्तक कुरआन की सूरः काफ-18, आयत 60.82 में अंकित है) कि मैंने मूसा को वह ज्ञान जानने के लिए एक शख्स के पास भेजा जो ज्ञान मूसा को नहीं था।
उस ज्ञान के सामने मूसा को प्राप्त ज्ञान (पुस्तक तौरेत) कुछ भी मायने नहीं रखता। मूसा जी उस ज्ञान को प्राप्त किए बिना ही खाली लौट आया था।