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rabbitpietale-blog · 7 years

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Sans vs the Microwave

@gallifreyan-pal said queerplatonic Undyrus, @georgetheblob said Sans vs. a microwave that Papyrus had installed too high. This was the result of those two ideas. Undyne and Papyrus are here in spirit, though the pairing is Alphyne.

(General ‘THIS IS SPRINTFIC AND I DIDN’T EDIT IT’ Disclaimer applies. Apologies if it’s inconsistent and typo-ridden.)

wordcount: 800ish.

Sans looked around the apartment again, making absolutely sure this was the right place -- Undyne hadn't given him the key, and so he'd teleported through the door. It wasn't as if he was breaking and entering or anything, he'd had permission! She even said to make himself at home!

As much at home as you can make yourself in a house that is half-empty and in the middle of renovations, anyway.

Given the amount of fish and anime posters, it was probably Alphys and Undyne's house. He was in the right place, but there was something about it that just didn't seem right.

Sans looked from his packet of dry noodles to the top of the oven, where the microwave was perched in a recess in the wall, and frowned to himself.

He was aware that Alphys had mostly turned the decorating over to Undyne, and turning the decorating over to Undyne usually meant turning renovations over to Undyne and Papyrus, and apparently the two taller monsters had forgotten that not everyone had legs like a giraffe.

He sat down on the bare kitchen floor, and dug the flavour sachet out of the packet of instant ramen. There was no kettle. Technically he could use the stove, but he couldn't be bothered. Instead, he decided to eat the noodles dry.

Unfortunately, they weren't nearly as filling that way. His magic just wasn't able to absorb them as efficiently, and he crankily left the noddle packet in the middle of the floor and made his way over to the lounge room -- where of course, the TV didn't work. He sighed, and pulled out his phone.

"your girlfriend didn't leave any food in the house," Sans texted Alphys.

"there's spaghetti in the hot fridge o////o" Alphys responded.

It had probably gone off, knowing how Papyrus kept his food. He’d probably learned everything he knew about cooking from Undyne.

Sans went back to the kitchen, looked at the fridge, and suddenly realised why Alphys' message had come with a blush. On the fridge was an (admittedly rather cute) picture of her in her bathers.

The 'hot' fridge. He chuckled to himself. Well, at least Undyne wasn’t using an oven to keep her food in this time. There was spaghetti in the fridge. It wasn’t food. Back to ramen it was.

"Hey paps," he messaged his brother. "How's Alphys going to use this microwave?"

"I expect she shall use the stairs," Papyrus texted back.

Of course. The stairs. Sans looked at the bare kitchen. There wasn't even a table. "The stairs, which haven't been put in yet?"

"Haven't they? Alphys was going to put them in," Papyrus answered.

Sans texted Alphys about that, and the infuriating lizard sent him a smile, and a message that it was a puzzle.

Sans scratched his head and cursed his friends and family. A puzzle. He looked around the oven, but hte wall was smooth, and nothing really seemed to be saying 'stairs' to him. He poked at it. He twisted the dials experimentally.

(The temperature had been scribbled out, and a the maximum setting read "THIS ONE" in Undyne's scrawl. They were going to burn the house down before they moved in.)

When that proved ineffective, he put all the dials back and reached above his head to pull down the oven door. The smell of charcoal wafted out. There was a blackened lump in the middle of the oven.

Well, at least they weren't going to attract maggots.

Sans groaned and let the oven door slam shut. "Ugh."

He stepped back, and felt a pressure plate move under his feet. It vibrated and lit up, and the theme song to mew mew kissy cutie began to play. Before he could fall over, Sans crouched down and grabbed onto the sides of the prssure plate.

It rocketed up, and stopped in front of the microwave, so that the microwave sat just below shoulder-height.

"Um," Sans muttered, and looked across the kitchen to where the packets of instant ramen sat on the bench, and the bowls, taps. He could fetch a bowl and maybe same ramen with his magic, but the water was going to be a stretch.

"Ah, do you think you can let me down?" he asked the pressure plate. It didn't respond respond of course, and Sans delicately began to try to open a packet of ramen with his magic and plop into into the bowl sitting on the bench.

He jerked it, and the bowl fell onto the floor and shattered.

"Shit," he muttered. There was nothing for it, he'd have to clamber off the hovering pressure plate. Unless...

It was a puzzle, Alphys had said.

Sans began humming the ending tune to Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, and the plate began to descend. It settled into the ground, allowing to walk back over the kitchen, and begin making his ramen.

Water out of the tap, a cake of noodles, and two minutes in the microwave should do it... if he didn't spill the bowl as he rose to the microwave, Mew Mew Kissy Cutie playing in his ears.

"Did you get it?" Alphys asked.

"Yes," Sans texted back.

#alphyne #sans #sans vs microwave #my fic

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