#queer people are allowed to have queer romances that aren't perfect!!

[likealittleheartbeat]

hello !!

i was wondering, do you know any other characters like aang from other shows/movies/books? or maybe, just his theme of radical kindness appearing in other stories?

i've been missing aang, and it would be nice to find other representations of such a fun and warm personality like his.

ps.: your blog is like, fantastic. truly.

🥰🥰🥰🥰 This is the best ask I’ve ever received!!! Depictions of radical kindness in media is a special interest of mine—not exaggerating. So I’ve done my best to make a list of rec’s, just tv, from most formally similar to ATLA to least, with a short description for each.

1. Fruits Basket (2019)

"My mom told me, it's better to trust people than to doubt them. She said that people aren't born with kind hearts. When we're born, all we have are desires for food and material things. Selfish instincts, I guess. But she said that kindness is something that grows inside of each person's body, but it's up to us to nurture that kindness in our hearts. That's why kindness is different for every person."

An anime orphan whose established memory of the kindness by which her family raised her ends up transforming and liberating a whole clan from an intergenerational curse that enforced an abusive hierarchy all within a show that has a deeply queer subtext, beautifully complex plotting and character development that due to its zen influence refuses to demonize anyone or any perspective wholly, AND a straight romance you can actually root for!? Nothing comes closer to ATLA thematically than this show. While the lead Tohru Honda is the biggest representative of radical kindness, the character of Momiji Sohma with his complex purity, idealism, and gender performance is one of the closest you'll find to Aang in any media.

2. Mob Psycho 100 (2016-2023)

"The truth behind one's charm is kindness. Just be a good person, that's all."

Mob Psycho 100 explores a core tenant of ATLA's critique of imperialism and power: greatness and perfection are overrated. They both ask the question about what to do for the world with one's gifts if that's the case. How can one be both normal and prodigious at the same time? The satirical comedy and style of this anime, which deconstruct a lot of the shonen genre tropes, are pretty distinct from ATLA, but when ATLA arrived on the airwaves, it was a pretty massive break from tradition in Western animation, and for both of these series, that difference of style is tied to the message of the show about the experience and acceptance of difference.

3. Natsume's Book of Friends (2012-present)

"As I encountered kindness, I wanted to be kind myself."

The anime, Natsume's Book of Friends and ATLA both depict the challenge and necessity of facing abandonment, loss, and a deep-seated loneliness with kindness and gratitude despite the persistence of grief. Both take a deeply spiritual view--even a responsibility--of this experience that demands a compassion for all beings including those who intend to do harm. Natsume, an orphan shuffled between houses who is one of the few people who can see spirits called youkai, inherits his maligned grandmother's book of yokai names, becoming a target for them in the process. He hides all of this from everyone in his life, and even five season in, still has trouble admitting to the one person who understands him when he is struggling and needs help. The gentle and light tone papers over a profoundly honest representation of attachment trauma and the wisdom of compassion that develops as a tool to cope with it.

4. Hunter x Hunter (2011-2014)

"You can do whatever you want to hide your feeling. You still have a heart."

If you think that "Radical Kindness" is by definition non-violent, then this show is either not for you or going to change your mind. Gon, the protagonist of HxH, like Momiji mentioned in Fruits Basket, is another rare character whose naivete and optimism are treated with respect. He is allowed to suffer, to be wrong, to be stupid, and to inspire others away from their own cynicism with the persistence of his beliefs nevertheless. But HxH is a show that integrates the most violent aspects of the world (organized crime, capitalistic competition and privileging, state-sanctioned brutality, pure sadism) with its examination of human potential for goodness. And even within a list of shows deeply inspired by spirituality and religions, this show is abundant with religious references as it seeks out meaning, balance, and an ethic for modern experience. On top of that, it ranks with ATLA for the depth and relevance of its magic system to its themes, plus its got gay subtext out the wazoo!

5. Mushishi (2005-2014)

“Make sure to remember, every person and place has a right to exist. It is true for you too, the entire world, as a whole, is your home."

Elegaic, episodic, compassionate, and strange, with some of the best short story-telling of all time, Mushishi is the story of a medicine-man who travels the Japanese countryside helping people deal with the spirits that accompany the little trials and tragedies of life that cling to our minds long after they're passed. The protagonist, Gingko, and the show itself takes the approach of restraint to observe these problems fully and come to a conclusion that's taoist in its balance and acceptance of reality--"Eyes unclouded by hate" as Miyazaki/Gaiman would have it. Each episode is like a therapy session arguing for you to choose to live even as the heaviest burdens sit on your chest.

6. Reservation Dogs (2021-2023)

"See...love doesn't have to be received, it can just be."

We're finally out of the animes, and moving away from the zen and shinto approach into some other options. Reservation Dogs' indigenous humanism was groundbreaking, bringing in distinctly modern American realities (with the kind of true-to-life details only a an on-location shoot could offer) with Native beliefs about ancestry, community, and connection to the land, while rarely feeling preachy. Instead, it's just fucking hilarious and casually heartbreaking. Four friends on the edge of graduating high school on a reservation in Oklahoma try to figure out what to do with their lives after their plans to go to California get abruptly messed up. Radical kindness as a concept often gets focused on accepting the enemy but what about accepting the weird stoner uncle who farts all the time and won't talk about his years in the army. I think that might be a more important goal of radical kindness, in truth, if we are being asked to look and accept reality for what it is, because growing comfortable with disappointment and the mundane let's us live without the relentless striving that drives perfectionism.

7. Skam (2015-2017)

"The second you start looking for hate, you find it. And when you find hate, you start hating."

A Norwegian teen drama that understood internet culture better than any show before or since, four season-long romance plots better than any romance film from that decade, and a masterfully constructed exhortation about leaning into failures of connection to build deeper compassion rather than demonize another person or group. Each season focused on a specific character within a high-school friend group, emphasizing the limited scope of subjective experience, and had them confront the challenges of opening up to others fully. And even when they return into the scenes with new protagonists, their lives weren't sorted perfectly, reflecting how resolving a single romantic plot point would not resolve life. The impact of this low-budget public-television web series (!!!) will be felt for years (it's already been referenced by Netflix juggernauts like Sex Education and Young Royals), but we're not likely to see something that juggles political themes, heartfelt characterization, realistic dialogue, and meta-commentary (it flashed its own hater and fan comments across the screen in the last episode!!) in such a obsession-inducing package anytime soon.

7. Boys Like Boys (2023)

"Because I have always been someone who hates myself, I don't have the courage to face it. Running away is my only option...What if I give myself one more chance to be brave?"

So how can a reality show make it onto a list of radically kind tv series, especially a dating show!? Well, when that reality dating show casts people who radiate warmth, vulnerability, and respect and seem to have the kind of chemistry that most scripted shows can't even manage, it's a good start. But then, when they elevate that cast with a format that addresses the cruelty of dating, elimination formats, and broader societal exclusion (an important consideration for a gay dating show), it offers a new model for future shows. Boys Like Boys did this when mid-season (spoiler alert) they had contestants vote out a contestant, only to provide the contestants with a vote in which they could retain a contestant who they didn't want to leave. In fact, many of the contestants asked if they could abstain from making a vote that would eliminate a constestant and were allowed to. The final result left one contestant, Jia-Hang, up for elimination--he had voted for himself to be eliminated, and many contestants, recognizing his reticence to continue on the program, didn't want to force him against his will to stay. Then, looking around at nearly the whole cast sobbing, even apologizing to him for not providing him enough support, Jia-Hang chooses to stay on. This is just one of many heart-warming authentic moments in the show that illustrate the vital influence of kindness to impact the trajectory of our hearts.

8. Joe Pera Talks With You (2018-2021)

"I can help you reach things. I can tend the garden. The different hours we keep are a good thing. And when they overlap, I can offer companionship and entertainment."

So much has been written about this show's groundbreaking kind approach, I'm going to quote instead: "It can be difficult to convey how a TV show airing on Cartoon Network’s provocative nighttime programming block Adult Swim can evoke almost nostalgic feelings of kind-heartedness. The premise of Joe Pera Talks With You is so simple as to almost be beside the point: Comedian Joe Pera plays a lightly fictionalized version of himself as a sweet Michigander, a middle-school chorus teacher with small and specific passions. Joe likes breakfast food, obscure trivia, beans, trips to the grocery store, and his grandma. He greets every day with a contented smile, stands beneath a pale blue sky, packs a balanced lunch that contains no surprises. (A turkey sandwich with cheese and a tomato, a banana, some trail mix, and as a treat, some cookies.) Joe, more than anything, is satisfied. His greatest joy is sharing these small pleasures with you, the viewer who exists on the other side of the fourth wall he has cleanly dismantled, often speaking quietly to the camera like he’s sharing a secret, just between you two. That he’s talking “with” and not “to” you is a crucial distinction in the show’s title: Joe never lectures nor rhapsodizes. Instead, he waxes poetic about what he loves and who he cares for and how he leads his life, telling his stories from a vulnerable position of welcoming you into his daily existence.” --“A Great Comedy About Being Good,” Allegra Frank for Vox

9. Anne with an E (2017-2019)

"Her life was not short on challenges, and still she held no grudges, believing instead that grace is perennial like the green, green grass."

While maligned for not being the 1980s version, this Netflix adaptation of Anne of Green Gables takes what many have read as an autistic subtext and made it text, giving Anne a performative quality that pushes a lot of the audience into the same irritation that the characters of Avonlea feel for Anne at first, and, thus, requires its audience to persevere toward the same kindness that Anne inspires in her adoptive mother figure, Marilla, among others, which is much more rewarding than simply identifying with Anne right away. In so doing, it enhances the development of its broader approach to acceptance--an approach in its insistence on the requirement of a community of kindredness (see Sebastian's excitement at finding out about the black community in "The Bog") that is much more rigorous than many other shows will cop to. Expanding far beyond literal adaptation into queer, black, and indigenous characters, without disguising history or disparaging the thematic seed of grace at the heart of the novels, Anne with an E imagines what it meant and what it might still mean to build real joyful community with others through kindness.

10. Little Bear (1995-2003)

"Interesting."

A childhood favorite that disguised in its simplicity a wide-openness to the world and an acceptance of different natures. While most child shows emphasize kindness, few do so with as much patience, wonder, and generosity extended to its viewers. Little Bear is a curious kid who goes on adventures in the woods around his house that can turn into games or small imagined experiences. He is sometimes with his friends Cat, Duck, Hen, Owl, and Emily, whose personalities, along with Little Bear's, bring about small tensions in their games that ultimately resolve, if not independently, then with the help of Mother Bear or Father Bear, who give each other knowing glances about the expected childhood behaviors. This is the first show that initially taught me to observe things while withholding my judgment, that first step of radical kindness.

12. The Andy Griffith Show (1960-1968)

"The key to happiness is finding joy in the simple things."

One really old and somewhat controversial throwback for my last entry. If you have concerns about a sheriff character representing radical kindness, I would encourage you to start with the third episode of season 3 where Andy, the sheriff in question, has to explain to the new mayor why he doesn't carry a gun and lets prisoners go to gather their crops. There have been some fantastic pieces written about the complexities of this show's bucolic fantasy and Southerners (of all races) attachment to it, but they all acknowledge a type of humanistic and deceptively simple virtue found in Mayberry that audiences long to witness, if not emulate themselves. It's a morality that resists the "hyperactive zealotry" and bureaucracy that the show satirizes through Barney Fife (along with guest characters like the new mayor) and instead emphasizes the understanding that one can have for each individual and the trickstery middle paths that one can find to address conflict.

#sorry this took so long to respond to! #honorable mentions include Hey Arnold! & The Good Place & Friday Night Lights & S1 of Ted Lasso (but only S1 lol) #atla #kindness prevails #likealittleheartbreat recommends #fruits basket #mushishi #natsume yuujinchou #hxh #andy griffith #joe pera talks with you #reservation dogs #little bear #skam #awae #boys like boys #mp100

[celluloidbroomcloset]

https://celluloidbroomcloset.tumblr.com/post/735562286934245376/yknow-and-props-to-jenkins-for-seeing-the

Sorry but I have to rant about this a bit. Not about your addition though! It's entirely about the Izzy canyon op's clear intentions with that post. You don't have to post this, I just need to get it out of my system. 😅

I just love how the canyon is trying to turn fans against Jenkins. Sorry canyon op, it was always a romcom and Ed and Stede were always a real love story. Jenkins might've changed his mind on some of the details, but it was always a queer romance. Every other one of the collected articles and quotes they helpfully linked shows that very clearly, so thanks for that canyon op.

Sorry again canyon op, but that one quote doesn't suddenly turn the show into a barely dodged queerbait either. A queer romance possibly not having a storybook happy ending in its original plan does not mean it's "not a real love story" or anything resembling queerbait. (somebody please take that word away from the internet, I am begging!) What it is is a sweet love story in a fun romcom and he even gave it a clear happily ever after ending intentionally in case they aren't renewed.

And yes, the cast's influence on their characters and their stories is awesome and wonderful and at Jenkins' suggestion. They wouldn't have been allowed even a tiny fraction of the freedom Jenkins gave them to shape their characters on most other shows. That actors, directors, writers, and showrunner could all work together so closely and so well to create this incredible show is very telling of the kind of showrunner Jenkins is and it's a rare one.

Jenkins may not be perfect, but that one quote doesn't suddenly make him less of an ally or any less amazing for putting this fun little queer as all hell show into our lives! It doesn't make the show any less joyful! I'd say it makes it more so for having this straight man, as good an ally as he is, see and realize what it would mean to people to have this thing and willfully change his plans to make it even better for us. He didn't have to give Ed and Stede such a wonderful ending this season and yet he did! He did it because he wants them, and us, to be happy.

I'm sorry your blorbo died, canyon op, but Jenkins is not "losing the other half of the fandom" now. The canyon aren't even half of the fandom to begin with! It's a very loud minority that I wish would just leave the rest of us to enjoy the show in peace instead of trying to turn us all against it. 😒

Lol - you know what’s hilarious? I honestly didn’t look at the source of that post. I’d heard some of this stuff before and was like “oh, yeah, it sounds like Jenkins changed focus and it worked really well!” Because…that’s the nature of art, especially a collaborative art like film and TV, and it seems clear that other writers, the performers, etc. all helped to shift focus, and Jenkins himself saw the potential and went with it, even likely listened to the queer people on the show to help guide it. Which is…normal and good?

I dunno what this show might do for season 3, and it’s perfectly possible that they sacrifice good will for some strange narrative about-face, but that will have fuck-all to do with Izzy actually being the main character and everything to with…everything else on the show.

In regard to the whole weird Izzy discourse…I barely poked my head into this fandom during the first season, but obviously have done a lot more than that now. And I was immediately just confused by the cadre who seem to think Izzy was the main character. You mean…the angry homophobic white dude who tried to kill one of our leads multiple times and then sent our other lead into a suicidal spiral by telling him to stop acting so gay? THAT dude? Isn’t he, like, the villain?

I dig what they managed with Izzy and I was so happy to actually care about him instead of just hating him, but his narrative function is to advance the Stede/Ed relationship. He’s less independent, narratively, than most of the Revenge crew. His death was sad and it made sense. * shrugs*

I’m still honestly a bit concerned that ANYONE looked at Izzy in Season 1 and went “that’s my guy!” That’s…disturbing, my dudes.

#reply #ofmd s2 #izzy hands #ofmd

[pulpitude]

not to be a salty little shit (and therefore revive the calico rants tag) again but

y'all remember my earlier rant? the one where i stated that even mah, one of the books with the most accurate and inclusive queer representation in the app, has its fuck ups (more details in the post itself)

well, i just remembered that perfect match, the one book where you can actually be polyamorous and have a realistic polycule dynamic instead of "oh you still have to pick a main li and they'll be the only person you can make it official with and say i love you to but at least there's still the option of flirting and hooking up with other lis if you want to slut around some more" (cough. bloodbound. why the fuck didn't pb let me say i love you to both jax and adrian and let me live my married poly fantasy w/ the provider the girlboss and the malewife) also has a pretty big fuck up in my opinion.

specifically, regarding the option to pair up sloane and khaan vs. pursuing them as love interests yourself.

i get that obviously not all people who read pm decide to play as a polyamorous character and therefore wouldn't really like their love interest having romantic feelings for someone else, but what about those who don't mind? even worse, what about the players who are polyamorous themselves and were hoping for the love interests to also have a poly route?

you can only get the option to play matchmaker for sloane and khaan if you aren't pursuing either of them. not both of them, not just one of them, only when you're dating neither. and that makes sense... from a monogamous standpoint. hell, not even from all monogamous standpoints, there are plenty of people who wouldn't be poly themselves but would be okay with their partners being poly.

and that's where i start being a salty little shit about this, because why the hell is there not an option to pair them if you're already established as poly and dating both of them? i vividly remember that during one of my pm plays (where i only dated hayden) sloane is confiding to mc about her possibly having feelings for khaan (or something, my memory is terrible) and asking them what to do.

and one of the dialogue options for that scene if you didn't flirt with khaan beforehand is "don't date him, date me instead".

and i don't know about you all, but that reads as incredibly selfish to me if your mc is poly and especially if your mc is male, i don't know why but combined with the poly thing it has more than a bit of a misogynistic undertone. i mean, they're literally telling her to stop pursuing her crush if she wants to date them, but they can pursue as many people as they want.

and for the other scenario (pairing up love interests that you pursue with other characters as a monogamous person) imo there should be a customization option for that. kinda like the sexuality option in the elementalists but it's for poly routes, either the option to allow mc to become official with multiple lis or to allow the lis themselves to have simultaneous romance routes with mc and other characters. preferably both but that'd be asking too much for "the most amount of queer we can handle right now are romances between genderlocked female mcs and goc lis that still read as a straight romance, the only thing that's left is for the f!lis to grow a dick like they did in platinum" pb.

#calico rants #playchoices #play choices #choices stories you play #choices stories we play #choices game #pixelberry #pb #pb choices #perfect match #choices perfect match #choices pm #sloane washington #khaan mousavi

[absolutebl]

Hello, hello, Sensei! I figured other BL fans might benefit from this Q&A, so I'm posing this question on the public channels: in your reblog of my TharnType review, you mentioned watching Dew the Movie in a comment about being surprised about the developing kinds of BL that were coming out of Thailand in 2019. Could you expound a little more on that? I'm trying to get a sense of what Dew stands for by way of where it lives in the BL history books. I'm also aware that if it weren't for Bad Buddy, that this piece would have likely been Ohm Pawat's last appearance in queer media, and I want to keep that in mind before I watch it (which will be very soon). Dew will be the only movie on my Old GMMTV Challenge list, so I want to give it the understanding it deserves. THANK YOU, *FOR EVERYTHING*, SENSEI! <3

Dew the Movie

Not a review, more where it sits in Thailand's cinematic journey and how that correlates to queer cinema and its standard pattern of evolution.

I've always though of Dew as GMMTV's My Bromance. Not the same tropes but same tenor. Sweet Student Boy is another one. Or even Your Name Engraved Herein (although that is Taiwan and superior).

All quite heavy. Not much BL.

In Thailand this style started with Love of Siam. And I would put Present Perfect in there as impactful as well (very arthouse and complicated piece that made waves in the Thai queer film industry for many reasons not the least of which was political).

Most queer cinema enters the world with this kind of offering.

There is also a gay rep vis "character patterns in cinematic traditions" that everyone pretty much knows about in ET:

if there at all = kill the gay

if there at all = punch down humor (aka fear the gay so mock openly)

gay rep narratives green lit (usually arthouse) but in order to be taken seriously by critics and greater social structure are censored away from joy (gayness not permitted to be portrayed in a positive light) = queer characters exist but are not allowed to end up happy - these shows can win awards and critical acclaim (the Broke Back Mountain effect)

magical gay advice giver (queer serves only as a plot device to help the hets) - there's usually a make-over involved

1 major gay character (usually in comedy/romance) = tokenize the queer side (aka my gay bestie)

happy ending sanitized gay romances (or skinned romances where the gay characters act like hets - see seme/uke),

actual gay romances honest to the community/experience and peopled with multiple queer characters and life stages

Of course this is not a tidy progression, we can see Thai BL (stage 6) still grappling with 1-5, but also slowly moving into and having more and more of stage 7.

Actual queer narratives (of which romance would be a subset and tends to emerge later) like Dew stay quite dark, gritty, and chewy and usually spring up along side the mainstream depiction of gay characters - around the time that mainstream film decides to acknowledge gays exist at all (and immediately starts killing them).

They just get little to no attention because they are under funded, under marketed, and scary for mainstream viewers. Society isn't ready if these are made too soon in the 1-7 progression. Which is not to say the shouldn't be made! Just why they aren't popular in the zeitgeist.

Dew is part of the "yes but what about the real gays?" side (yet parallel) evolving tradition to BL (that is only now kind of getting integrated into BL). So, stage 3.

But also all stuff I watched North American arthouse grapple with extensively in the 90s and seemed to all follow EXACTLY the same non-romantic narrative path. Therefore it feels like I've seen it a million times.

I'm personally exhausted by this kind of "picking at gay pain" queer content. I don't need to see it anymore. I got into BL because it was materially different and all ways from what happened over here in Hollywood. We never got THIS level of stage 6 and it's fascinating that Asia is lingering in it for so long.

Back to Dew...

Wistful gay?

What might have been...

Something like that?

These shows grapple with identity and expression and out-ness and courage.

It's sad and depressing.

That's about all I remember of it because it was so much like so much of what I had already seen in queer cinema. Perhaps special for the Thai queer film world, but not special for me.

Although I do remember thinking Ohm was great in it.

In the end I think Dew was GMMTV picking up and experimenting with the more universal tradition of exploring (and exploiting for drama) gay pain. It's not really a romance in the modern sense of the term... and I prefer romance.

(source)

#asked and answered #dew the movie #ohm pawat #thai bl #thai cinema #cinematic traditions

[kimyoonmiauthor]

"You shouldn't put _this trigger_ in fiction *at all*" Censor before publishing discourse.

So, People of Color people aren't allowed to write about racism?

Women aren't allowed to talk about sexual assault, feminism?

Victims of r* aren't allowed to talk about it from their PoV and should leave it to people who've never, ever gone through it?

Men can't talk about how they too have gone through it and sort it in a social justice way and talk about the patriarchy is a way that goes deeper than the basic white feminism of Barbie?

People who know what *abuse actually feels like and would like to advocate against it* aren't allowed to talk about abuse?

When people talk about sex in YA, often the discourse isn't about writing safer sex and consent at all, but "should you write about sex with teens"

But this creates severe issues.

Look, I as one of the fundamentally token red shirts on this planet, queer, PoC, NB not a woman, but often have to fake it for the doctor's office because they won't let me check off NB and give me the form for that, with a history of abuse, history of institutionalization, want to fucking transform my shitty crap into diamonds by transforming my trauma into social justice awareness.

When you say, but you shouldn't write it into books at all, that means you silence the people who have gone through it, and need to talk about it, and wish to make the world a better place.

And sometimes the veneer of fiction is what people need in order to do that.

The reason, as many, many Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror authors have said their genre is one of the best ass places for talking about social issues is because of that ability to create distance from the issue and then dissect the hell out of it. This way it's not because I am left and live in this country... tory, whig, democrat, etc. It's these are the issues at stake, this is how it actually feels as this person going through this thing. This is why you exactly shouldn't do it, because it fucks with your head exactly this way long term.

But if you start labeling the issue in an exact way with the modern/contemporary terms from our world, people will start flipping out, but fiction gives the author super powers to say, this is what transformation of this AWFUL TERRIBLE thing looks like. And maybe this is why it's hard and this is how to do it.

Fiction can divide things into questions.

Instead of the discourse being, should teens have sex *in fiction*. I think the discourse should be, why aren't more writers writing like Norma Klein who was absolutely frank about birth control methods, what consent and safer sex was, and the results of (for her time period) a sexually abusive person that didn't get to go to jail, and marry his teen victim. And instead the reviews of her book are... OMG, she's soooo frank about sex I'm blushing.

Nyahh, you should read her because she's frank about sex, she's doing anti-body shaming initiatives, spends a fair amount of time comparing television to reality, talking about pubic hair as a natural thing, and combating TV images, and the "perfect" body through talking about sex. Maybe more romance could do that?

This guy doesn't have the 10 inch scholong all night long. But is kind, caring, knows what else to do in the interim during his refractory period? Did Norma Klein do that? Absolutely. She talked frankly about sex in order to push sex education. I got things in her 1960's written book that my sex education teachers failed to teach me, like anti-body shaming. Pubic hair is natural. (Romance is far, far from reality, I get that, but still... if you're going to blush at the word penis and think you can't possibly use it in a romance book in a frank discussion, then maybe you should reevaluate a bit. And I do wish Romance books went over consent too and made consent super sexy by having those frank consent discussion and making it oohhh I can't wait until we get through this discussion to *try* that, but we have to wait and oh my god, I didn't know that about you, I'm glad I get to *try* that. Make consent sexy. Make BDSM negotiations sexy. Make the how, "Would you like that?" OMG yes. sexy.).

The fact an ace is writing this about consent, safer sex and trying to ask people to not do body shaming isn't lost on me. But seriously. Also, I'm not sex repulsed, just on the indifferent scale. And aces can be sex positive.

Maybe in order to get queer joy, you need a bit of trauma up front so people know what the issues are. Maybe to get social justice in this area, you need to be able to talk about what people have to think about in order to go through transition and why people might opt out of it and how that too can be queer joy.

In order to transform the shit of the world, people should censor shit like happy slave gets with their master. YES. That probably should not be shared. Write it, keep it to yourself. OMG Nazis were good actually. Write it, don't share it with the general public.

But for the gnarly, for the honestly tricky, for the things that could be made into social justice, let it be written. Own voices preferred, but don't make them write it. But don't censor them either.

If a person who has gone through rape wants to write about rape and how horrific it is, then yes, let them write it. (BTW, I'm saying this as a person who knows what it's like and NO it's not "that's why you are ace, then." I was ace long before then. I was having ace-like thoughts at 5. Some people do, and that's fine. But don't paint everyone with the same brush.) But keep their feet to the fire and make sure they write it in a way that doesn't glorify it, doesn't make it feel "right" and aims it towards social justice. Then trigger warning.

"Precious" does have sexual abuse, rape and all of that, but if you get through that story and the difficulty, she transforms her shit into something positive. And it's an argument against rape, no matter what the book challenger thought. (OMG sex scenes and it's sexy? WTF is wrong with you, dude. Go see a therapist.)

What better way to make the book banners win than to let people who went through horrible traumatic shit never to make it to the bookshelf by shaming them for talking about it and transform their stories of horror into social justice gold?

There's quite a difference, though, when you're glorifying racism as a good thing.

#trauma transformation #social justice issues in writing #trauma #triggers #consent is sexy #consent should be talked about in books #consent is required #story theory

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Imogen, Obviously by @beckyalbertalli Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

❓ #QOTD What movie majorly impacted your life? ❓ 🦇 Imogen Scott has endless experience as a straight queer ally. Her friends are pan and bi, her sister is out, and she never misses a Pride Alliance meeting. While visiting her best friend Lili at college, who has her own little queer community, Imogen takes "supportive" a step further. She pretends to be Lili's ex-girlfriend and bi. The longer she wears the label, the more she wonders if it fits...especially when she's in the company of Lili's new friend, Tessa. Can Imogen keep her story straight, or is she finally starting to see who's staring at her in the mirror?

💜 This recent streak of bi/sapphic YA books (One Last Stop, Perfect on Paper, and now this) has left me slain. It's all too much. I am FEELING too much. Be still, thy bi heart.

💜 In all seriousness, this is the exact story little baby bi me needed back in high school, and I'm so glad it's on shelves for adolescent readers now. There's SO MUCH to discuss, the themes of self-identity, friendship, and coming-of-age so perfectly layered to make Imogen so obviously (I had to) exactly who she is. Imogen's "bunny" brain is a realistic mental chaos of self-doubt and queer questioning. Everyone assumes straight is the default, when really, it should be bi until proven otherwise. Most people aren't given the chance to question their sexuality, to explore who they are, instead establishing themselves in a pre-determined box. I've been there, and Imogen's constant questioning and confusion make her emotions all the more real. She questions if queerness looks a certain way, or if we're supposed to have our queer awakenings by a certain time, or if we're supposed to be CERTAIN, but how could we with the constant DISCOURSE over everything? Imogen's voice leaps off the page, making her easy to like; a character you want to follow to the end. Lili is EVERYTHING as a best friend (and queer mentor), while Gretchen so perfectly straddles the line between well-meaning and toxic. We've all had that friend we realized (almost too little, too late) wasn't looking out for our best interests, the one in the back of your head spinning every worst fear until it became a play-it-on repeat thought. Though she could have felt too extreme, we see why Imogen hears Gretchen out, why Imogen gives her a second chance, allowing her to become the cranked-up monster of self-doubt in Imogen's head. Also, The Owl House, One Last Stop, and Sailor Moon mentions were everything.

💙 This had an awkward start for me, namely because of all the names and identities we're given in the first few chapters. It felt like Imogen's younger, queer sister was less of a character and more of a plot piece (both to prove that Imogen was surrounded by self-aware queers and to show what queerness looked like in Imogen's eyes). She doesn't have some cute scenes with Imogen until the end, and by that point, I wanted more.

🦇 Recommended for fans of Perfect on Paper and One Last Stop.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🩷 Young Adult 🩷 Queer Cast 🩷 Bisexual FMC 🩷 College/Coming-of-Age 🩷 Identity 🩷 Romance & Friendship

💬 Quotes ❝ The only way to let someone into your reality is to retell it. ❞ ❝ One girl can’t topple your entire sexuality, right? ❞ ❝ All these moments, scattered and separate. All these disconnected dots. ❞ ❝ Then she buries her face in the crook of my neck, and every breath she breathes feels like a love letter. ❞ ❝ How I felt. Dizzy, off- balance, unsteady. Like my bones were too big for my body. Like I couldn’t zip myself closed. Like I’d colored outside my own outline, stepped out of frame, made myself three- dimensional. ❞

#books #book review #queer books #sapphic books #sapphic romance #queer book recs #queer book review #bi books #bisexual visibility #bisexual pride #bisexuality #batty about books #battyaboutbooks #ya books #young adult romance #young adult books #young adult fiction #young adult #knitwear #knitting #books and coffee #coffee and books #book: imogen obviously #author: becky albertalli

[aroaceconfessions]

i'm either aspec or an allo person to whom sex just isn't that important and i can't figure out which. i do experience sexual attraction (i'm 80% sure) but... well so many people consider sex a need, something they can't go without in a relationship, and going too long without it is frustrating so much so there's a whole term for being frustrated by a lack of sex that is so intense it can't even be relieved by masturbation for some reason and i... don't relate to any of that. like yeah sex is great. i like it, i think about it a lot, i have a fairly average libido. i would like a romantic relationship that involves sex. but i don't consider it a need nor do i have any clue where that idea came from (i actually think it's ridiculous... you don't need to have access to someone else's body sexually, and if by sex you just mean sexual release, then yeah sure, i can get behind that bc masturbation has been proven to be good for you but say that instead!! sex is not a need!!). i don't consider sex to be a really important part of my life nor my identity

i think this is stressing me out so much bc i'm queer. and it seems like all other queer people put a lot of importance on sex. and it makes perfect sense why! godspeed! but i also kind of feel like i'm doing queerness "wrong" by not caring about sex and even romance that much. straight people get to live their lives not caring too much about relationships and they're still straight and no one questions that. it almost feels like queer people aren't allowed to do the same, or else you're not "queer enough". at least that's the vibe i get

#aspec #sex indifferent #queer

[isaksbestpillow]

Hi Siiri! So I often watch stuff when I see it on your blog because you honestly have excellent taste. This time I watched Sangatsu no lion after I saw that post that had the Bump of Chicken video. I'm obsessed with that band and the show sounded perfect for me. I finished the entire anime today and I loved it so much!! I wish there was more. So anyway I just wanted to say thanks for reblogging that post lmao. Also what other anime/manga do you love and recommend?

Hello!! Omg another Bump of chicken listener in the wild!! I love them though I haven't been vibing with their last few songs as much. Fujiwara Motoo has a genuine talent for writing profound lyrics using mundane words, he's great!

I've become such a boomer regarding anime that I really don't know any of the titles currently relevant, but I can recommend some of my forever faves!

Natsume yuujinchou/Natsume's book of friends: My beloved, my dearest, my most favourite. Natsume Takashi is an ordinary, introverted high school boy who lives in rural Kumamoto prefecture with his foster family and a fat cat. Except that his cat is no cat at all and Natsume is no ordinary boy because he can see youkai (spirits). Some of those spirits are angry, some sad, some funny, some lonely. What they have in common is they've all got beef with Natsume's late grandmother who has sealed their names into a book. The episodes revolve around Natsume and his cat sidekick setting free the trapped spirits they encounter one by one. It's the best anime!!! It's so calming and melancholy and nice. With 29 manga volumes out, the story is still on-going.

Chihayafuru: The best sports anime ever!! Chihaya, Taichi and Arata are three childhood friends brought back together by competitive karuta, which is an agility and memory based sport that uses ancient Japanese poetry. There's friendship, romance, sport, poetry, what else do you need! I love it so much. The characters are great, they all have their strengths and weaknesses in karuta and outside of it, especially Chihaya who is super likable without being a Mary Sue type. With fifty manga volumes out, the story is still on-going. I just wish they'd go polyamorous because even after all these years I can't decide whether I ship Chihaya more with Taichi, Arata or her idol/nemesis Shinobu haha.

Shouwa genroku rakugo shinjuu: Freshly out of prison, a yakuza discovers the world of rakugo (traditional Japanese story telling), but his mentor is haunted by the ghosts of his difficult past in this stunning queer period piece.

Mushishi: A guy wanders around the country in search of supernatural powers known as mushi that can possess and harm people. This is what would happen if Natsume Yuujinchou took up drugs and smoking.

Heike monogatari (2021): A stunning feminist retelling of the birth of one of Japan's oldest epics.

Yojouhan shinwa taikei/The tatami galaxy: A guy tries to restart his freshman year at university over and over, each time failing to get the outcome he desires regardless of what he chooses or changes, steadily snowballing to a mental breakdown and existential crisis. This one is a classic with a very unique style in art and direction and the most amazing line you must accept that you are the person here now and you cannot become anyone else but that person.

No 6: This anime pales in comparison to the book series that's such a vivid, visceral portrayal of the indomitable will to live even when dying would be easier, but it's still nice viewing. Queer teenagers take on an oppressive government and some killer bees. The books though!!!! They are so great!!! It's a shame they aren't available internationally, but then again I'm not sure how well they'd work in English because so much of their rhythm and tension tempo is achieved in ways that disappear when you remove Japanese from the equation. Pov is an especially tricky area because Japanese doesn't have personal verbs or mandatory grammatical subject which allows for shifting pov and narrator and time.

I'm probably forgetting something, but these are some of my forever faves!! I didn't mention Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood because I think everyone knows it already, but it's my most favourite favourite.

#asks

[ad15124]

imperfect representation

why does representation have to be fucking perfect?? no like I'm genuinely asking because it feels like everyone seems to think things like red white and royal blue or heartstopper don't tackle the issues faced by the queer community but here's the thing: why do they have to? not all queer books have to be about the issues faced by the community and we should be allowed to enjoy media where, like in heartstopper and rwarb and countless other works that are considered pop culture, you have queer characters that just fall for each other and you can enjoy. the. story?? I'm a bisexual who would like to see bisexual nick nelson having a “full on gay crisis” when he falls for Charlie Spring and as important it is to address queer issues it's not the duty of every piece of media to tackle them.

Lately there's been this idea that having queer stories that just show happy queer people is incredibly important, and it makes sense because I for one want my fluffy queer romances and authors like CMQ and Alice Oseman give me the sense that I can be happy.

I know that there's actual problems like abuse faced by lgbtqa+, kids getting kicked out of their houses, laws being passed that make it illegal for people to be who they are or love who they love.

but consider: that doesn't mean that every fluffy queer romance is obligated to cover these issues

I'M NOT SAYING QUEER BAITING IS OK, I'M NOT SAYING FETISHIZING QUEER CHARACTERS AND SELLING FLUFFY MLM ROMANCES TO TEENAGE GIRLS WHO'LL EAT THEM UP SIMPLY BECAUSE IT SELLS IS OK,

I'M NOT SAYING RAINBOW CAPITALISM IS OK

but I am saying we're allowed to enjoy queer media that doesn't necessarily make the world a better place, but makes us. fucking. happy.

because those forms of queer media aren't just designed for the straights. they're designed to make someone laugh a little, make sure the world doesn't get too heavy and make sure queer kids like me believe in their happy ending.

#aalutalks #lgbtq+ #gay #lesbian #queer #representation #I AM GOING TO GET SO MUCH BACKLASH FOR THIS #this is also probably really badly phrased?? idk

[ad1thi]

i dont wanna really get into the rwrb discourse but i keep seeing the book getting slandered here and on twitter so i am going to say: i know that Red White and Royal Blue has sketchy political points and the Alternate Universe that Casey McQuiston created isn't a Utopia and its flawed -- but its really stupid to me that people seem to be fixating on this. the book isn't meant to be a political thinkpiece aimed at changing people's lives and lobbying a grenade into the political sphere. its a romance novel for fuck's sake.

i get if you dont like their style of writing, or if the dialogue and scenes were too corny for you - that's fine and completely acceptable, but slandering the book on the basis of its politics is so ridiculous because its not about politics. its just supposed to be a book about queer romance. they’re not trying to make political points and i honestly think its ridiculously unfair that examining this book under the lens of nuanced political theory is even a valid form of criticism.

queer people are allowed to have fun books centred around queer romance. queer people are allowed to have books that just exist about queer acceptance and queer love. there's no way in hell this amount of scrutiny and critique would be levelled at a straight romance novel, because it is implicitly understood that romance novels are about the romance, not about making political points. the idea that Red White and Royal Blue is a fundamentally flawed book because it didnt spend like 300 pages critically examining the inherent flaws within the American Government and provide a referenced argument against the British Monarchy is laughable, and honestly it's a bad look that people seem to be overly analysing and looking for a political agenda when there is none in this book.

I'm not saying you have to like rwrb, or that everybody must appreciate it simply because of it's queer-ness, but the book is about a queer romance. Judge it on the merits of a romance novel, and its exploration of queer-ness. Nothing more.

#adi reads #rwrb #red white and royal blue #its literally such a joke that so many people are getting so offended about a book that wasn't even trying to make political points #queer people are allowed to have queer romances that aren't perfect!! #you literally would not see this level of critique being levelled at straight romance novels #do all straight romances about billionaires discuss the ethics of exploitation and wealth hoarding and tax evasion that leads to a billion? #do all straight romances set in war times talk about the exploitation of man and machine and the morality of killing and bombing and war?? #do all straight romances about rags to rishes provide well-thought out explorations of the poverty line and how people are forced under it? #its a romance novel!! stop looking for a fucking academic essay on why the Gov is bad and just be happy about two boys being stupid togethe #why is that so hard!! why don't queer people get that?? #why must everything be so perfect and untouched and unproblematic?? why dont we just get a fun romance novel?? #i wanna know

[heretherebedork]

okay so I'm new to the bl world and I found your blog a while ago so I wanted to ask you if you could recommend a top10 of the BLs that you've watched. like, which series are the best of the genre? (hope this ask isn't annoying but I really want to start with the best ones)

Okay!

Hi! Welcome to this wild and wide world of BL!

You have asked me a difficult question and I love you for it.

@absolutebl has a fantastic list that I can't find because tumblr organizes things so badly and uselessly.

But to say the best of the best, a top ten of just... really good BL?

Let me try.

(No, seriously, AbsoluteBL has done this for just about every country except Vietnam because they basically -have- like ten BLS and you should be checking them out and looking for their lists!)

ANYWAY. In no particular order...

1. 1000 Stars is just the pinnacle. It's amazing and perfect, slow burn with deep plot and an amazing story and romance and characters and depth. Seriously. I cannot say enough how this is absolutely amazing. A young man's life is saved by a heart transplant but he finds himself aimless and useless until he follows in the path of the woman who's heart was placed in his chest and meets a forest ranger who captures that same heart.

2. Until We Meet Again is amazing and deep and desperate and beautiful and comes with HUGE warnings for suicide and homophobia and death. Absolutely fantastic but HEED THE WARNINGS. Reincarnation leads to new lovers meeting but the past will always catch in the end and memories are never truly forgotten.

3. He's Coming To Me is also fantastic. Also involves death and murder. A ghost who doesn't know why he's still haunting his grave meets a boy who can see ghosts and wants to help him... but they fall in love along the way.

4. Cherry Magic is an amazing and soft BL out of Japan. Absolutely HIGHLY recommend as a good starting point. Adachi turns 30 as a virgin and gains the ability to read minds... leading to him discovering that a handsome and seemingly perfect coworker, Kurosawa, is in love with him.

5. Color Rush is an absolutely fantastic Korean BL that is basically a gorgeous metaphor for coming out in a homophobic society and involves the idea of monos (people who see the world in shades of grey) and probes (who allow their specific mono to see the world in full color).

6. Light On Me is basically the greatest love triangle yet and absolutely darling. A young man who doesn't think he needs friends is convinced to join the student council... where he meets two boys he could love and who both love him in return. A great story. A+

7. We Best Love 1+2 is just an amazing story, despite me not loving 2 as much, I see the whole story and most people love the entire thing. It's a love story between a man who'd rather pine than admit his love and tsundere who hides the softest, neediest center of all time. Genuinely fantastic acting and chemistry.

8. HIStory 2 Right or Wrong and Crossing the Line, just the entirety of HIStory 2 is fantastic and a great place to just enjoy some good chemistry. Crossing the Line is a soft sports romance about the good boy post-injury sports kid and the bad boy who discovers he's got a lot of hero worship love in him. Right or Wrong is about a student who finds out that his teacher isn't a great dad... and helps him become one. Absolutely darling and Taiwan's first flexing of their marriage muscles.

9. Guardian is a censored romance from China but it's so barely censored and I love it so much that I put it on this list. There's a paranormal police squad, basically X-Men mutants and wild adventures as well as my favorite side couple of ALL TIME.

10. Gaya Sa Pelikula (Like in the Movies) is a very queer-centric BL about fake dating, coming out, staying in the closet, being yourself, trust, distrust and general pain.

This list was rough for me, honestly. So many of my favorites aren't... actually the ones that are the best? My taste is eccentric and even kinda... bad.

But that's okay!

Enjoy!

#top ten #top ten bl #cherry magic #we best love #uwma #he's coming to me #1000 stars #thai bl #thai drama #bl drama #bl series #asianlgbtqdramas #asian lgbtq dramas #thaibl #thai series #korean bl #koreanbl #taiwanese bl #like in the movies #gaya sa pelikula #pinoy bl #pinoybl #chinese censored romance #color rush #light on me #doing my best

[baldinggoat]

I wrote a really long post about playersexuality about a year ago mostly targeting other crpgs, but I updated it a bit and decided to throw it on this blog too. It’s a bit repetitive, and it isn’t perfect, but it’s important to me that I’ve been trying to parse my direct feelings towards the phenomenon for a long time and I wanted to write it out. 

It mostly came from this article/post, and then kind of grew from there. It isn’t a direct criticism of Baldur’s Gate 3 or how Larian studios is writing queer sexuality, but if the shoe fits...well...

First of this all comes from someone with a trans and bi perspective. So it’s all subjective obviously. None of this is about discrediting bisexual characters, but critically analyzing how games depict queer sexuality. I just want more people to understand how playersexuality does hurt gay people who want gay characters, and hurt bi people who want more tangible representation and not a “schrodinger's” bisexuality.

Bisexuality/pansexuality isn’t necessarily being attracted to someone regardless or despite gender. It’s being attracted to more then one gender. Gender does, in fact, matter In relationships. Its frustrating really. My relationship to gender means a lot to me. It’s shaped my whole life. When I want someone to love me, I want them to love me for me AND acknowledge my gender. It’s a part of who I am. I don’t want it to be ignored. I’ve never had the privilege to ignore my gender, and I’ve never had the privilege of other people ignoring it either, since I’m trans. It’s not my only quality, but it’s a big part of my personal story and growth. Whenever I want to date anyone, I always have to have a conversation with them about our sexualities and my gender.

When you make a game with a story about fictional characters, you usually want the audience to care about said characters. You want to make it possible for the audience to empathize with them in some way. But in the end, all they ever will be is the game developer’s IDEA of what a person is, never an actual person. How sexuality and gender are presented in the story is all but an idea of how the game developers want sexuality and gender to be presented to the audience.

The bottom line is this: game companies have incentive for making money first. Game devs rarely care about giving lgbtq people a character that has an experience that the audience can empathize with. The audience that includes cishet people, because when everyone empathizing with fictional lgbtq characters, that’s what gives us “representation”. Because that’s what that actually means. Representation is about speading stories about our experiences being lgbtq to help other lgbtq people know that they aren’t alone, and also that it’s not a bad thing to be lgbtq. Playersexual characters don’t acknowledge that experience in their narrative, they aren’t representation.

And I real human being doesn’t need to tell you their sexuality. An actual gay or bisexual person doesn’t need to disclose anything about their past to “prove” their gay or bisexual. That’s because it’s an invasion of privacy, and when someone does tell you these things its because they trust you. It’s why “coming out of the closet” is something that exists. We are NOT entitled to know these things, yet everyone is assumed straight because that’s what is expected, so telling someone these things is an act of trust. But when it comes to fictional characters, there’s never that invasion of privacy. There’s no need to respect their boundaries, because as an omniscient audience we’re able to see different, imaginary perspectives. A game developer can always give us a clear indication of a character’s sexuality, and they can even do it without the characters stating it (although they should because that helps normalize people talking about their sexuality). It never has to be obfuscated or ignored. If it is obfuscated in some way, it’s because it’s the game developers’ intention. They don’t want to make a character’s sexuality clear and therefore, don’t actually care about lgbtq people.

So you play a videogame. There’s a character who admits they have feelings for the player. This character never talks about the gender of your character when it comes to the relationship. The character also, interestingly enough, never talks about a history of relationships with the same gender or mentions their attraction to the same gender. Even if they do, it’s a one off comment, innuendo, and/or never a full admission, something small that can be missed and ignored without deeper thought. (Also using correct pronouns isn’t acknowledging you’re in a relationship with someone who’s the same gender btw, it’s just common fucking courtesy).

The only way you ever even know that the character even is willing to date the same gender is if your character is there, and willing to date them. If your player character didn’t exist, you would never know this character dates the same gender. It’s schrodinger's bisexuality! The npc’s sexuality is not there unless you, the player, make it a part of your story. It doesn’t belong to the character. I hope that makes sense, because in the end the player is doing all the work for the writers. I also find it extremely unrealistic that in these situations, the characters are in serious romantic/sexual relationships and never talk about their history with dating the same gender, even casually.

What truly makes me sad though is how fandom, especially other bi people, will claim playersexuality as legitimate bisexual representation. It’s truly depressing that videogame writers have been able to find this loophole, use it, and abuse it. It gives game companies, that absolutely do not care about actually representing lgbtq people in their stories, credit where no credit is due. Of course I’m not trying to go after bi fans, and they aren’t wrong to claim these characters are bisexual, because that’s the whole point of calling it schrodinger's bisexuality. I personally don’t think infighting with other fans about whether a character is actually bisexual or not will get anyone anything except a migraine. What I do think, is people should be more critical about how videogame companies are presenting sexuality in their stories, and focus on criticizing that.

Edit: On a personal note, I also hate fandom using playersexuality to try to say the character’s sexuality is up for “interpretation” so they “headcanon” said character as straight or gay. That’s just biphobic. But, when trans/bi/gay people are talking about playersexuality, it’s usually from a more constructive outlook, where we just want the game studios to be held more accountable for erasure. This is also why I prefer the term “schrodinger's bisexuality”. Bisexual when you want them to be, not bisexual when you don’t want them to be.

I know people want the comfort, the ease, and the simplicity that playersexuality brings. I know it’s been used in games for years, and at one time it was the only queer content and representation games had. But times are changing, and game companies need to change. We need actual Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans characters, not a schrodinger's bisexuality. If you allow anyone and everyone to be able to romance any character regardless of gender, then you don’t have to worry about straight players being mad a character they want to romance is gay, or lgbt players being upset a character is straight.

Continuing to use playersexuality isn’t an “everyone’s happy” solution to people asking for more gay/bi characters in videogames. It’s obvious this has everything to do with money, since it’s making games viable for a wider audience and not actually giving queer people representation. It’s also painfully obvious when you have so much undeniable m/f that is central to the story.

I know game studios aren't a monolith. I know developing a game is usually convoluted and rarely linear. I also know it’s a company, and there are “layers” of writing, and things tend to go through a grind before they get green-lite. I know there’s never a singular person making decisions how character’s sexuality are depicted, and theres always more going on behind doors we may never know. Maybe game studios using playersexuality are trying to depict more lgbtq representation and some “big man” up top wont let them. But I highly doubt it, and think it has to do with marketability, because this is a product that is on the market.

TL; DR: I’m an annoying transgenderer who’s entitled and believes videogames should cater to me. Making companions/npcs playersexual, especially all of them, is a horrible, lazy, homophobic, and biphobic writing decision. Game companies don’t care about lgbtq people. Support lgbtq people, help donate to lgbtq content creators when you can, and help lgbtq people in fandom feel safe.

Aka Donate to my ko-fi lol

#/goat noises #it's not meant to be Discourse(tm) either just like. literally...criticism

[bookwyrminspiration]

Response to an ask from Ophelia:

(this one is a little older and about many things like Tinker, minorities, daydreaming, tangents, etc.)

I am! I am very much alright with you sending me asks more frequently, whatever frequently means for you. I don't know how to properly convey to you that you truly aren't a burden or an inconvenience or anything like that, and that answering your asks is fun! I like getting to talk to you, and it's not going to be too much.

Tinker is a character that really interests me, and one who seems very neurodivergent to me, hence the analysis. I do, however, have a tendency to hold nd characters to a stricter standard than other characters which I'm trying to stop doing. But it's like a little "oo! You're supposed to be like me so I want to break you into even more pieces to fully understand and compare every aspect about you!" But even with her not fully matching up with my nd experience, she's still probably the character that I have the most fondness for because she does interact with the world differently. She has a "unique way of communicating" and sees value and worth in things that others don't. That's very vague but it's like the perfect building point. Though I also wasn't sure what minority she was supposed to be representative of when I first read the book (I think I read Flashback before I realized I had Funky Brain Syndrom, aka I'm nd), though now I'm assuming it's nd people, specifically autistic people.

Same! Characters only fitting into one minority, while it does happen, feels very rare and like? Where is the rest of them? And it does affect people! It makes people think they're too other, like hang on I can't be all these things when I'm already these one/two, when really it's completely normal to be a bunch! I kinda jokingly kept track of all the minorities I fit into at one point to be like "haha I'm collecting them!!" except it's just...normal. I am a normal number of minorities, but having characters who didn't fit into more than one or two made me think that any more was unreasonable. Also that thing about being influenced by fiction is very relatable. As a kid (and I guess still to this day) I would read a book and then just...absorb the characters. To the point that at the end of the year one of my teachers told me that she could like...see me grow/the difference every time I finished a book. Which was frequently so like I was constantly absorbing new people into my brain

Yes! I would love to see characters fitting into more than one minority and it's not seen as this big thing but instead as normal, because it is! And it isn't the center of their character, but it's acknowledged and influences them because it does affect who they are and how they see the world. Like, being queer isn't all I think about, but it will affect what I think of say, a movie with a romance plot in it. It's not a huge deal, but it is something that I see differently than others because I am queer!

Also, if you'd ever want to share your daydream world(s), you more than welcome to!

Thank you. You're words and compliments truly mean a lot to me, so thank you for all of it. I try to be kind to everyone I talk to, especially online. I am over the whole "I am a loner and push people away and nobody knows me and I guard my heart" kind of mindset that I accidentally absorbed from a few characters, so I'm trying to counteract that. Because I am not! I love people and I love helping people and sharing interests and information and being kind and appreciating things. And articulate! That's one of my favorite ways to be described, so thank you. Words--specifically writing--are where I can most effectively arrange my thoughts and communicate, so it's wonderful to know that I'm doing it well. Talking allows a lot of room for misunderstandings and forgetting things, but if I can write it down I can make things make sense! And I'm glad that at least some of it has been helpful to you, and that I can do things to make you more comfortable talking with me. You're doing a wonderful job describing your experiences as well! I know it can be hard to really get the complexity of thought and experiences into words, and even if it feels inadequate you're doing really well and being clear. And once again!! Thank you!! I do have a lot to say, and I take that as a complement. I spent a lot of my younger years staying quiet to observe how others interact and because I couldn't interact wrong if I wasn't interacting at all, but I have!! So many thoughts!! And I love so many things and I want to share them all. So yes, I have a lot to say.

I'm frequently the same way when it comes to tangents, and while I've kinda figured out how to have normal conversations, it definitely feels more natural to just...talk forever. And specifically about things that interest me. I find a way to bring Twilight into nearly everything, relate it to everything, because when I can do that it makes unpleasant interactions more exciting! And also already pleasant interactions more exciting! You haven't misinterpreted my character at all, you've actually nailed that part of it. I mean, just looking through my blog you can see how much I talk about everything at just the slightest cue. There's probably over 100,000 words worth of content on my blog that come directly from me talking at people. I'm glad you can be a little more yourself when talking to me, that it's fun. I have fun talking to you! I think I do a lot of the talking on my blog, especially since I so rarely reblog others' things (though I would like to do that more), so it's always nice to let someone else talk too.

You're not annoying me at all! And if you really want, you could send an entire 11 page essay. It might take me a hot minute to respond to it all, but there are no limits on ask length on this blog!

and drifting subject to subject isn't a bad thing, I think most of the things you discussed were all related to each other, but even if they weren't I don't mind. If this is your first step to talking about less negative things, then I'm very happy for you!! You don't have to force yourself to talk about happy things to balance out the negative or anything, I'm here to talk about anything you send me.

As for the nicknames, I don't mind them at all! I love personalized nicknames, like "hey I like you enough that i've created a name I'm going to call you that reminds me of you." You can all me whatever you'd like, whether that's my name (quil) or something else! Related to my url, to something about me, etc. I think nicknames are really fun, but quil doesn't lend itself to nicknames very well. Though I did know someone in ninth grade who called me Q for a few months because she couldn't remember my name but knew what letter it started with. And then there's another person I know who calls me Quinn whenever they see me because I think they have also forgotten my name.

My point is that you have my full permission to use nicknames for me!

also, I hope you're doing well! it's very nice to hear from you <33

#i had a four day weekend (well technically still in it as today is day four) so i've kinda been vibing #it's so strange to have snow days here #like I legit can't remember the last time it happened #i live in a /desert/ #and yes it snows in the desert but not usually enough for a snow day?? #then again the second day was just a 2 hour delay #but with my weird schedule a 2 hour delay means i have no class #so #fun things!! #i'm getting distracted wait #quil's queries #ophelia nonsie #long post

[asagimeta]

(sorry for this I just need to get it out) I feel like people as a collective hold lgbt+ movies to a deeply higher standard than any other movie. Like, if it isn't labeled Absolutely Perfect then it's not worth it when, like, there is a vast quantity enough of movies WITHOUT lgbt+ that aren't great but much loved. I just wish that lgbt+ movies weren't held to that standard bc then we could get more that aren't indie or Tragic Oscar Bait. Let there be unremarkable representation, basically.

Don’t apologize Anon, I’m happy you commented!  You just put into words something I’ve been thinking for ages and never quite known how to verbalize myself, and you’re absolutely right

Look at Malec for example, from Shadowhunters, the newest LGBTQ+ ship most people love, and before anyone gets mad at me, I ship Malec too, but Magnus gets mad about something last episode- wich he was COMPLETELY. JUSTIFIED. in doing- and suddenly people are ready to toss Shadowhunters out a window (personally I think Magnus should have been screaming at Alec *episodes ago* for some of the crap he’s pulled but I digress)

Look at Yuri!!! On Ice, people are furious that a really revlutionary canon gay ship didn’t get married on screen- or show their lips touching when they kissed, wich they ONLY weren’t allowed to do because of Japanese censorship laws, yet sports anime have an ENORMOUS history of just genuine queerbaiting and still get praised as great fan service

Look at Lost Girl, poor, poor Lost Girl, if you shipped Bo and Dyson in that fandom you were labelled homophobic… despite, you know, Bo being bisexual… and I get why people generally preferred Lauren, I do (I personally couldn’t stand Lauren as a charector wich made it hard for me to ship her with Bo but I digress) but to say that you can’t ship a bi person with the opposite gender or you’re homophobic is just … biphobic in and of it’s self

I could go on and on…..

Saying “Queer media isn’t allowed to be anything less than perfect” is alot like saying “Shark movies aren’t allowed to be anything less than JAWS” or “Fantasy movies aren’t allowed to be anything less than Harry Potter”, and like you said, straight media isn’t held to that standard at all, people are going to go see American Assassin despite- likely- having no queer rep at all, people are going to go see Mission Impossible 6 despite- likely- having no queer rep at all, people are going to go see the new Bond despite- likely- having no queer rep at all, etc….

It’s good to hold a standard of quality when it comes to representation because it, ideally, prevents movies from getting away with having one gay token somewhere in the background and patting themselves on the back for it or only allowing queer charectors on screen if they get killed off- violently and in a fashion as closely poised to a hate crime as they can get without saying the words “Hate crime”, that’s a good thing, but if you kick down everything that isn’t your version of perfect then what motivates movie-makers (who are ALL money-motivated always at all times) to make more queer media and GET. BETTER?

Let movies grow, encourage small steps so that people will say “Hey, I want to do that too” and take BIGGER steps, and wile you can certainly hold queer media to a higher standard than straight media *to a degree* because you *can’t* toss a dime out the window and hit a decent queer romance, you shouldn’t hold those standards up so high that only one specific genre done in one specific way can reach it, it’s counterproductive

#Atomic Blonde