#queer is not inherently a slur

[rottingboygj]

i fucking love interpreting characters and art that’s specifically designed to appease sigma males and incels as queer and gentle. feels like an insane riot even in my own head, you can only imagine, how target audience fucking explodes once you mention that «soldier boy edits are just gay thirst traps». damn

#thought so good i decided to duplicate it on tumblr dot com #also. yes i do think soldier boy and homelander are both gay and homophobic #they look like they’d call you a slur but also you could easily picture them making out with another dude #passionately may i add #soldier boy #homelander #the boys #is an inherently queer show #now crucify me for speaking the truth

[visorforavisor]

you ugly fucking homophobe. stop calling GAY men "queer". Actual homosexuals hate that fucking word.

hi. i’m assuming this is about my post saying that i like benoit blanc being an older and happy queer character. in this post i also mentioned that a certain queer generation is missing many of its members, due to the aids crisis.

i’m queer.

i’ve been called it (in the context of a slur). i’ve also been called other homophobic slurs. to my face.

i use that word for benoit blanc because rian johnson, writer of the benoit blanc mysteries, said blanc was queer (here).

there are individuals who do not want that word used for them, and i wouldn’t ever use it for them. but when talking about an individual who does use it (implied of blanc by johnson using it to describe him), or a group that doesn’t just have a single identity (eg the victims of the aids crisis were not all gay — for example many of them were bisexual; this just wasn’t as well-understood a concept in the broader community then), i might use that term.

additionally, when i made that post, johnson had said that blanc was queer. he had not, to the best of my knowledge, said that blanc was gay (i believe he has since said this). i wanted to use the language that was used for the character i was discussing. it wouldn’t have made sense to not do that.

i didn’t want to refer to the losses via the aids crisis as just being gay, because they weren’t. bisexuals died. trans women died. people outside of the gender binary died. people who can’t be neatly fitted into the category of “gay” (despite largely being seen as such by the outside world¹) were lost in the aids crisis, and i would be (in my view) doing them a disservice if i said “we lost gay men in the aids crisis” and left it at that. it’s a true statement — many gay men did die — but it’s not the whole story and i don’t want to leave the stories of aids victims untold, even in a post that was primarily about queer joy. (my queer joy. benoit blanc’s queer joy. other people’s queer joy, if they’re queer and find joy in that post.)

additionally, when i made that post, johnson had said that blanc was queer. he had not, to the best of my knowledge, said that blanc was gay (i believe he has since said this). i wanted to use the language that was used for the character i was discussing. it wouldn’t have made sense to not do that.

you might not use it for yourself. you might not even want to say it. and that’s cool. but that doesn’t mean that i shouldn’t use or say it.

and it’s nasty to say “actual” like that. you don’t know what i am, and you certainly don’t get to dictate it.

—

1. they were seen as such by the outside world. but if you subscribe to the views that the outside world had on these people — and the idea that they were all gay men is one of those views — then you are also doing a disservice to certain victims of the aids crisis.

#benoit blanc #knives out #glass onion #knives out glass onion #queer #gay #queer is beautiful #queer can be a slur but is not inherently so #queer joy #trans #yes i know the same paragraph is there twice #it is really annoying me

[winterwerewolf]

Coming to terms with being a man.

I am certainly not the first to bring it up and I will not be the last but: The hardest part for me personally as a trans man is not the fact that I experience severe gender dysphoria, it's the fact that being male/masc or a man has been so severely demonized by queer people that were supposed to be my friends, my found family, that it steered me right back into an even bigger closet for 8 years. Yeah. 8 fucking years. I knew I was a man when I was 12 years old and aside from the obvious hostility I faced because of garbage cishet people it was even worse through non-cis, non-het and non-cishet people.

I see others like me trying to raise awareness for this issue only to be shut down as someone who "whines and bitches" or even "tries to separate and divide the community". Every time an issue is brought up by trans men we are accused of "looking for issues where there are none", we are accused of "attempting separatism" and accused of "stealing other peoples spotlight" by OTHER queer people no less and all of this gets sort of covered up. As if queer people cannot be evil. As if being queer and specifically being trans somehow absolves you from being a massive bitch and asshole towards other trans people.

You do not have to punch me in the face to make clear you want me to face/experience violence. You don't have to say "I hate trans men in particular" for me to know that you do. When I found the Hashtag Transmisandry and Transandrophobia I cried tears of joy because there was finally a group of other men and mascs who have very similar experiences to mine. I am thanking y'all on my knees and kissing your hands for being brave enough to share these awful experiences even when faced with hostility and scrutiny and even though retelling also means reliving them to some extent. My point here is: Queer people who are hostile towards me have always had this weird victimhood complex of "I was affected by the patriarchy therefore it is my right to hate men." When I dared to point out that I also have experiences with the patriarchy (as does every member of society btw, there are no people unaffected, they are just affected in different ways) I was told to shut up and sit down because I could not possibly understand what it feels like to be raised in a misogynistic society. As if I am not viewed as a woman by transphobes and alike. As if I was not raised "like a girl". As if I had no fucking first hand experience and still do because I do not "pass".

I was there in the boat with you and you decided that, no, actually I never fucking was because what, it challenges your narrative about trans men experiencing zero oppression?

Anyways, this is long and ramble-y enough as it is so to finalize this emotional mess: Fuck TERFs, TIRFs and Baeddals or whatever y'all decide to name your cute little hateful-group next for making me feel like I have no voice, no right to love myself, like I am somehow rotten through and through. Fuck you so hard.

#misandry #transmisandry #transandrophobia #transphobia in queer spaces exists even from other trans people and I am tired of pretending that it doesn't because it is not #expressed through someone punching me in the face and calling me a slur #other transpeople can be transphobic and it does not reduce itself to internalized transphobia #this is not a goddamn jab at transfemmes btw so fuck outta here w your “just say you hate transwomen lol” and your bad faith argument #a lot of people that were shitting on me for being a man were non-binary or otherwise gnc #lets not pretend being queer makes you inherently good and supportive of other queer people aight

[briantfb]

i dont identify with the q slur for a lot of reasons, but one of them being yall say shit like “being attracted to inanimate objects is inherently queer”

#everything is ‘inherently queer’ to yall i swear to god #bug chirps #q slur

[nyctarian]

Seen a few people in the tags of the kenny supporting trans rights post seeming genuinely (happily) surprised that a wrestler like kenny would support them/their loved ones. I dont blame them for perhaps being unfamiliar with him and his history of being outspoken in his support of queer rights, (even ignoring him being bisexual and everything about the golden lovers narrative), and his condemnation of the history of homophobia and transphobia in wrestling, but it does highlight why (in addition to everything else that was shitty about it) i was so annoyed with the "he's just queerbaiting"/"the bucks are secret bigots" shit people tried to claim post brawl. That type of stuff is unfair to them absolutely, but its unfair to the people for whom the outspoken acceptance from people they look up to can be hugely impactful. Like, with the bucks having spent the beginning of their career trying very hard as teens to help one of the first out wrestlers w kanyon, including staying on the phone with him for hours to help him not k*ll himself, and then everything theyve done w kenny over the years and the way they have an in ring nature and storytelling tendencies that are clearly fine with going against cisheteromasculine norms of society. Matt literally helped design the shoe they did for pride and if there's one thing the bucks take seriously its shoes.

It's just, i think, very shitty to lie about some people you dont know in a way that makes people who may be fans, and for whom that acceptance could mean a lot, to be led to believe more people hate them in the world then they actually do. There is a reason the company that they helped start is one where a trans bi/pan black indigenous woman has already been a champ, another bisexual woman has been a champ, kenny a bi man has been a champ, and one half of the tag champs right now is a black gay man.

#personal #i dont think i worded this well #but seeing people being shocked that wrestlers they care about would #like respect their humanity #on here and on twitter to where ive seen the photo reposted a bunch as well #like it genuinely sucks that bc of what happened #people went to that classic well of smearing them w no proof #w like negative proof bc of proof in the opposite to what they claim #while at the same time repeating all the 'twinkletoes' shit sourced from a genuine bigot like 🌽 #i just think its really shitty for three wrestlers who-even w two of them being married to women-have a legacy in the industry inherently #tied to queerness #my computer was too shitty unreliable for me to do a lot of effort but i did start a tagging thing w just the #bare minimum of what ive rb'd of them being exactly as they are about queer stuff #idk it was shitty seeing people do that 'i bet the bucks would call me slurs' shit to defend a guy who has literslly called people slurs #even tho he did clearly change his attitude later in life to be less shitty #esp when there are def people who never questioned kenny being bi until the minute they needed something to smear him with

[wanderingandfound]

Second time in about 48 hours that I have gone into the search mines to bring out a specific pride flag for my blog only to be met with either long or thoughtless posts about how x flag is the most inferior or y flag is the most superior while shitting on other flag designs. Like, I am all for making as many flags as you want — the more the merrier no monopolies here. I would just like for people to keep in mind:

Which communities (including geographical and cultural!!!) specific flags come from and why they were created.

You do not need to be represented by every single stripe for the flag to be applicable to you.

If a flag is featuring a specific identity there's probably a reason for that, I don't care if it's ugly.

Please cite sources and inspiration! Flags represent communities and usually come from community involvement and influence.

Seriously unless a flag was made purposefully to demean or alienate others it's probably fine. You don't have to use it or prefer it and you can be annoyed with it but it doesn't mean it's the end of the world.

#Apparently the polyam flag was '''''''''“officially'''''''''''' redesigned a year ago and I don't even consider polyamory to be #_inherently_ queer but I don't consider leather to be _inherently_ queer either and like the leather pride flag was like the second ever #pride flag and was used in a Pride parade across the country from where it was designed less than a month after it was revealed. #Anyways it's fine if aromantic or other polyamorous people don't feel like they have infinite love but #a) π is not infinite it is _irrational_ and it's decimal _expression_ is infinite and #b) π is literally just the Greek letter p‚ like the Greek rootword poly πολύς. #If you aren't a Black or brown person from Philadelphia then I don't really think it's your place to reject the Philly Pride flag. #Yes there has previous been a black stripe on a rainbow flag to represent AIDS. Colors can mean multiple things. The spectrum for visible #color for humans is only so broad and we are so good at coming up with meaning and nuance. #People talk about ''Queer is a slur.'' being a TERF talking point but I don't see nearly enough people talking about #''Not all intersex people want to be included in LGBTQIA+.'' as one too. I rarely ever see this coming from intersex people and I have #NEVER seen it on a post actually about intersex rights. It's always a throw-away comment when they're criticizing other queer people. #I'm agender and don't consider myself trans. It's fine if specific intersex people don't consider themselves queer. The I still belongs. #And even if it DIDN'T that would mean the Intersex-Inclusive Progress Pride Flag has MORE reason for existing not less. #If intersex people aren't inherently included in the rainbow flag then that means a flag representing the union of queer people and #intersex people has a PURPOSE and isn't redundant. #personal #...I might have used too many tags so that might not show on my blog. I forget if the limit is 14 or 20. #I just wanted to reblog pictures of the πolyamory flag and the 2017 Gilbert Baker nine-stripe rainbow flag and here I am getting annoyed #and irritated. #Ugh this is probably gonna show in search results too because I didn't censor anything. #Well while I'm pissing people off I will give my hot take that the biggest crime of the leather‚ trans‚ and lipstick lesbian pride flags is #all these dang white stripes in the center. #Other hot takes: More people need to take a leaf from the bi flag and vary their stripe widths please. #Also while it can easily be overdone‚ I like the symbols in the corner of the leather ❤‚ bear 🐾‚ and lipstick lesbian 💋 flags. #Also hot take I've posted before: the 8- or 9-stripe rainbow flags and the sunset lesbian flag can be for you even if you're ace and/or #sex repulsed. The flags aren't like... criteria for an identity. Not to bring up something horrible like the US empire but you don't have #to have lived in one of the thirteen colonies for those red and white stripes to still represent you. #I hate that the TERFs use the colors of the suffragette flag in heart emojis 💜🤍💚 and that those colors are so similar to the genderqueer #flag (a coincidence on the part of the creator of the genderqueer flag).

[werewolf4vampire]

it is also insane that we now have an unprecedented (and therefore underresearched) essentially unlimited access to porn through the internet, starting as kids, and people still wanna pretend that using porn (often in secretive, ashamed, and a maladaptive coping way, all things that feed into the feedback loop of addiction) consistently for the entire decade that you're most susceptible to addiction... can't possibly lead to addiction, or at the very least an unhealthy relationship with porn and sexuality

#i also think a huge part of the pushback is people who think addict/addiction is inherently a dirty word that people are using as an insult #do people use it as an insult? absolutely. do i‚ an addict of over a decade‚ use it as an insult? of course not #and i think if you see it as inherently insulting despite obviously coming from sympathetic parties #then you still have a lot of work to do in unlearning biases about addicts #i also think 'well christians/conservatives believe in it for made up reasons so therefore there are no legitimate reasons to believe in it #so you're a raging bigot if you believe in it (regardless of the myriad of other reasons to do so)' #that's just. inherently flawed and reminds me shit people say about 'terf rhetoric' #'well terfs say queer is a slur so if you say queer is a slur then you MUST be a terf' this is not sound logic. #darryl speaks

[seawitchkaraoke]

I need ppl to understand that like. Yes queer is a slur. So is gay. So is lesbian. So are any of our identity words. So is "those people" if said in the right tone. "Homo" was also really popular when I was in school.

The thing is. There is no word for our community that would not be used as a slur. Because queerphobes don't use queer as a slur bc it means weird or excentric or anything like that, they use it because it means queer, it means gay, it means lgbtqia+, it means us. And it means that we are bad and wrong.

Asshole is an insult bc it compares you to a kinda gross part of our body. Queer and gay and dyke and homo? If they're being used as an insult that means the person using them thinks being queer is bad and wrong and disgusting and therefore calling someone that is a great way to attack them.

It has absolutely nothing to do with what that word might have originally meant, it doesn't even matter whether it was a slur first and we reclaimed it or whether we used it and then they started using it as a slur. It doesn't matter. You can't just stop using queer bc ppl use it as a slur. You'll run out of words to use very quickly if you do that

#queer #i do not know if i explained that right but like. there are words that are inherently insulting based on what they mean #and there words that are insulting bc the person using them thinks the ppl it describes are bad and wrong #and most descriptive words can be thet second one #ppl use autistic as a slur #and disabled #and then when ppl started saying differently abled they started using that as a slur too #you can't respond to that by saying ''yes you're right this word means smth bad now you can have it'' #idk man in my school all the vaguely woke kids would say ''gay isn't an insult!'' a lot whenever someone called smth gay to mean bad #and honestly? yeah. that's not a bad response to this stugf #stop using my identity as an insult

[bronzetomatoes]

"Will was an exceptional student, and a wonderful friend to all of us" sir the students are calling him slurs

#look anika's talking! #liveblog moment #stranger things #obligatory disclaimer that i dont think queer is inherently a slur but theres no doubt they were using it as one 💀

[genderqueerdykes]

as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.

let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.

i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.

i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.

it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.

queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.

also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.

not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.

some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.

please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #gay #lesbian #bisexual #aromantic #asexual #trans #transgender #non binary #nonbinary #enby #ftm #trans man #trans men #trans boy #trans girl #trans woman #trans women #trans lady #transfemme #transfeminine #transfem #transmasculine #transmasc #genderqueer #gnc #drag

[gaysontodd]

queer is such a good word. im queer as in fuck you. queer as in odd. queer as in fucked-in-the-head. queer as in i hope you choke on it. queer as in a slur i laugh at. queer as in not like you. queer as in none of your business. queer as in a line in the fucking dirt. queer as in we’re here. get used to it. queer as in this is who i am and what i am. queer as in im different and i dont fucking care. queer as in with or without you i exist and ill keep doing it. queer as in queer

edit: because people keep deleting my addition, ill say it here. this post is inherently anti “q slur”. queer as in spiteful doesnt leave room for queerphobic fuckery

#leo.txt #hall of famer #queerposting

[whereserpentswalk]

Shut your heterosexual mouth, girl. Stop bootlicking for males who wouldn't stop to piss on you if you were on fire and who would actively help other males assault you. Grow some ovaries, a spine, and some self-respect.

First off, I'm bisexual and agender. Calling me a straight girl is as bad as calling me a slur.

Men are people. Just like how women are people. You can never convince me to hate someone because of what group they're in, because once you do that what groups you choose to hate are essentially arbitrary. I hate the systems of oppression, capitalism and patriarchy, but I cannot hate those fully without understanding the men they victimize as much as I do the women they victimize.

The men you're hurting the most are queer men, and queer people who aren't feminine women when you put this type of rhetoric in the queer community. Even butch women.

The world you want, a world where women are seen as inherently vulnerable, and men inherently dangerous, and thus are fully socially separated, isn't a rejection of patriarchy, it's its fullest embrace. Like it or not, everything terfs want was true in Victorian England.

I'm not a bad person for being the person that I am. I'm not a bad person for not having a gender. I'm not a bad person for having lost so much weight. I'm not a bad person for not taking meds as a mentally ill person. I'm not a bad person for having sex with men as a queer person. And most importantly I'm not a bad person for not hating men, not hating men is the only way to destroy gender roles.

Your separatism isn't liberation, it's just the chains of the convent painted pink.

#196 #my thougts #leftist #leftism #feminism #adult human female #terfism #gender critical #lgbtqa #queer #lgbtq community #queer community #queer liberation #biseuxal #bisexuality #bisexual #bi #agender #nonbinary #enby #gender nonconforming #womens liberation #gay #lesbian #gender identity #transphobes #fuck transphobes #transgender rights #trans rights #trans rights are human rights

[vintage-bentley]

The internet has a problem of treating being “queer” like a moral standpoint and an inherently desirable trait. Being “queer” means you’re a good person, something being “queer” means it’s automatically interesting no matter what.

And I think that’s why we’re seeing so many people wax on about how “queer” opposite sex attraction can be if it’s paired with the right lingo (example being talking about how “queer” it is for “gay” people to be attracted to and have sex with the opposite sex, because it “subverts expectations”). Because they need to make themselves feel special, unique, and Morally Correct. Being “queer” is an easy way to get that.

It’s all the result of treating being gay like a fashion trend, and of that blowing up into the whole “queer” identity basically just being a way to signal to others “don’t worry, I’m not boring!” And a way to avoid having to confront straight privilege.

If you can do the mental gymnastics to convince yourself that your OSA is “queer”, you can feel good about yourself in the same way somebody feels good about themselves for buying the newest trendy item, or for shallowly supporting the latest popular cause. You’re a good person. You’re interesting. You fit in.

And that’s why I’ll never identify with the word “queer”, or the people who use it. Besides being a slur, it’s literally just a trend. A way of pretending to be subversive while all you’re doing is copying what everyone else is doing so that you feel better than everyone else.

#I think I could’ve written this better but I am sick lol #but I still want to get my thoughts out about this before I forget #my ramblings

[timelesscrowley]

sometimes i think about the fact that aziraphale has always been portrayed as someone who is inherently queer and has been living his life for all these centuries appearing as a gay man. he has gone through life making experiences that gay men make, has experienced homophobia as well as a queer sense of community and solidarity. sure, technically he's an angel and he would have the option to shut himself off from any and all negativity but we know that he hasn't. we know that people call him slurs and names. we know that he learned the gavotte in a discreet gentlemen's club in portland place in the late 1880s. his bookshop is in soho.

aziraphale is part of the queer community and he always has been. that makes me very happy.

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #good omens s2 #queer #neil gaiman

[inlocusmads]

So fricking sick of acephobia in the year 2023. I'm not even on Twitter but to read all of that shit, I'm convinced this Twitter mob will only expand and I fucking hate it so much.

Are we still negating aspec people's struggles? That corrective rape and forceful marriage doesn't exist? That asexuality is still treated as a fucking mental health issue? That NOBODY EVER TALKS ENOUGH ABOUT IT? That we're already excluded from a number of queer spaces because "lacking sexuality doesn't count" DESPITE HAVING A HISTORY OF THE DEFINITION DATING BACK TO THE 1800s?

That the law in several places go "marriage and sexual intimacy go hand in hand" that completely excludes ace people who'd like to marry, have QPRs or have a cohabitation partnership with someone?? That they're excluded from so many marriage related benefits?? Healthcare?? This inherent prejudice in the medical system??

And even if you do want to be alone and be awesome all on your own, you're shamed and shunned for it?? You're called harmful languages? Slurs? Like where does it stop?

Ace people, I love you guys and I hope you get a truckload of cake, garlic bread or whatever food, drink, book, thing that you prefer. Seriously. They should pay us for dealing with this shit EVERY FUCKING DAY.

#so fucking tired #tw rape mention #asexual #asexuality #aspecs yall are FUCKING AWESOME OKAY SERIOUSLY GO GET YOURSELF SOMETHING AWESOME OR BULLY SOMEONE TO DO THAT FOR YOU jk jk but you get it

[tomboyfriends]

“Queer” is Heteronormative

Even if queer wasn’t a slur (it is), the term when used to describe LGB people is inherently heteronormative. Queer literally means strange. in order for homosexuality and bisexuality to be “strange”, the term queer presents heterosexuality as “normal” in contrast, the opposite of strange.  Implying heterosexuality is the “normal” sexual orientation for people to have is literally heteronormative. Calling homosexuality and bisexuality “queer” (which is just calling them strange) is also heteronormative. I don’t know how to make this any more clear.

#q slur #queer #heteronormativity #homophobia #lgb