#protective dwarves

[jq37]

OK Brennan, if you aren't gonna let me have Aelwyn posted up in the manor at all times, having her use her dramatic villain skills to protect Adaine before going off to teach middle schoolers is the next best thing I could have hoped for. What a mental image--Ms. "I Came Here To Fuck" teaching cantrips to eleven-year-olds. Wild.

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #d20 #d20 spoilers #aelwyn abernant #NEMESIS WARD #I'm obsessed with the concept #also I always headcanonned aelwyn as going CPS but middle school teacher is SOOOO good #God I hope they crash a class at some point #can you imagine her having to protect a class of kids from some end of the world bullshit? #I can only dream #you think she's teaching at the school the child dwarves they beat up go to? #Oakshield I think?

[sesamenom]

Ringlord High King of Everything Elrond, inspired here

(@the-writing-goblin)

I imagine in this situation elrond would have been partially tempted by boromir's declaration, but instead of trying to fight sauron with it (because even in the weirdest crack au i can think of elrond is still too genre-aware to try that) he tried to use it to supercharge his use of vilya and protect everyone.

basically Ringlord!Elrond turned the entirety of Eriador into a mega-gondolin situation: massive walls (courtesy of numenorean/eregion tech) around the regions bordering the north or Mordor, fortresses along the mountain range and several layers of gates along every road in or out. Everybody goes in; nobody goes out; everyone is safe.

and he ended up claiming the kingship to give him more authority in the process - he's High King of the Noldor and Sindar and King of the Edain (given that there are like three half-vanyar in middle-earth, he's more or less king of all children of iluvatar) and so he can have command over the entirety of the West.

and with the help of the Ring, this actually works! but the corruption starts to show eventually

he uses his kinship to Gondor to forcefully drag them into his neo-gondolin-empire-creation so he can ensure none of his great-nephews will ever have to face sauron. he extends the walls to encompass Mirkwood, because he's the high king of the sindar and has a duty to protect thranduil's realm, and unleashes the full might of his melian-lite powers to purge Sauron's Shadow and the spawn of Ungoliant from the now-Greenwood.

Galadriel and Glorfindel very much see where this is going and are very very worried. galadriel won't let him build walls around lothlorien (because she lives next door to a balrog and knows exactly what happened to gondolin) but celeborn thinks it's a good idea, since after all Doriath wouldn't have fallen if Melian's girdle had still been up. glorfindel tries to talk him out of it but the ring has taken hold

the Ring's power also enhances all his natural weirdness and powers - he has his wings and maia markings permanently activated now, with or without finwean anger. he can fully shapeshift, and he goes from raising waves in the bruinen to raising tsunamis in the great sea.

except the finwean anger seems to be permanently activated now, too, and anyone who harms someone he's deemed under his protection finds themselves the target of a rather ironic vengeance quest. the shapeshifting is looking weird now - his teeth are always sharp now, and his eyes have gone fully inhuman. sometimes he has claws and his wings look more like bats than eagles. and his water powers are more like osse's- he can't calm the waters now (goldberry is the first to notice something's up) and can only stir them into massive ship-sinking storms and tsunamis.

this progresses until he's basically Evil Luthien ruling over a continent-wide Mega-Gondolin, slaughtering orc-hordes before they even reach the white walls and sinking any naval fleet Sauron tries to send around the coast. Everybody is brought in; nobody leaves; everyone is safe...?

he figures out that the dwarven legend of "Durin's Bane" has to be one of the few first age balrogs thats still unaccounted for. and well, it's living right on his border, and he can't risk another fall of gondolin, right? so he leads a small force in there to clear moria, and they shove the balrog off the edge, but it takes one of his captains (except glorfindel) with it (maybe erestor?) and he uses the ring and saves erestor, (and maybe floods the balrog for good measure), and glorfindel is sure he saw elrond's eyes go yellow for a moment.

and even fully corrupted, he knows he can't take the ring directly into mordor. but he can wipe out sauron's armies outside the walls, to protect his kingdom - because turgon's mistake was thinking he was safe even when there were balrogs and dragons and orcs outside, right?

somewhere along the way, arwen realizes what's happening and goes to live with galadriel. one of the twins goes with her; the other stays out of loyalty but eventually follows.

elrond's kingdom has become a cross between doriath and gondolin now, with all the surrounding lands warped by ring-magic to hide it, and layers of stone walls and iron gates preventing anyone from leaving. because everyone is here; nobody leaves; everyone is... safe?

#silm #silmarillion #lotr #elrond #lord of the rings #i hc goldberry is uinen and osses daughter #i feel like the ring works differently for everyone #hobbits are naturally sneaky and long-lived so hobbits get ring-invisibility and ring-immortality #while dwarves would be basically physically invincible and elves would get feanor-style super-fea #and peredhel get maiarin powers #honestly ringlord elrond is kind of terrifying #like ringlord galadriel or ringlord maglor would be pretty straightforward about conquering the world #like galadriels whole 'all shall love me and despair' #or maglor would be like 'yep conquering the world for the oath now hand over your land' #but elrond is more of the manipulative dark lord type #like the 'im doing this for you/i just want to protect you' villain #and hes already most of middle earths collective dad #they all trust him

[meadowsofmay]

i have a question — if the air of mirkwood is so stuffed and causes hallucinations taking you under the influence of fell magic, does it mean elves are subjected to it too or they are immune to it?

#it wasn't explained and i am curious #dwarves started hallucinating on the elvish path already and that caused them to wander and get more under the influence of bad air #are elves immune because these are their woods? #or because they have strong magic to protect them? #actually it might be magic yea i didn't think about it before #but i still would like to hear what you know or think #mirkwood #lord of the rings #the hobbit #legolas #thranduil #tauriel #woodland elves

[bogunicorn]

Oh god the "humans and elves are Inherently Boring, I'm begging you, Larian, please go back and add more companions who aren't humans and elves because they're BORING and I WON'T PLAY THE GAME without more DIVERSITY humans and elves are SHIT I'm personally being left out" people are here, too. Holy christ get bigger problems.

*(Obligatory disclaimer that I'm obviously talking about people throwing hissy fits and acting like their civil rights are being infrgined on because there isn't a fuckable gnome in the party, not just people criticizing BG3 for having X amount of ancestries in the game but not including more in the companion lineup. My issue is how they treat other people in fan spaces and the shitty way they speak at the developers, not because they have preferences.)

#bog post #fandom bs #i have yet to see someone throw a fit about this without openly insulting other players or fans #dwarves/gnomes/halfings aren't real life groups and no one is oppressed for preferring them or playing them #disliking fictional characters that are popular doesn't mean it's okay to insult or demean other people unprompted #you're not 'punching up' because 'wants to fuck a fantasy dwarf' isn't a protected class #and a video game not giving you an option you want isn't license to be a dickhead to the people who made it #why is this such a difficult concept for people? #go outside. touch grass. play something else. #eat some crackers and juice and do literally anything else #this is not that important that you need to be an asshole about it

[wolves-etc]

there's a moment in the second hobbit film, a flashback, where thorin's sitting down in the prancing pony inn and going straight for the food and watching as a human dude just picks up a hobbit and sets him on a barstool, right?

it's a moment that looks habitual. familiar. the human says "master saddle," the hobbit seems comfortable with it. thorin doesn't even visibly react much. but I love the thought of him quietly in the back of his mind thinking "if anyone tries that with me, by my grandfather's blood they will get stabbed," and also "I will never find it in me to respect a hobbit."

#admittedly I think the dwarves are too heavy to lift that easily but a person could still try‚ and regret it in more than one way. #the hobbit #the desolation of smaug #orig #I'm having more thinky thoughts about thorin on this watch-through #and realising that he is multiple layers of trauma and fear and horrific expectations bundled together really helps matters #though interestingly I feel like even when he doesn't yet Respect bilbo he does still want good things for him #bilbo's life in the shire is the kind of home and safety thorin feels he can never know now #not now he knows what's out there. not now he's seen what the world can do. #so every dismissive and rude comment suggesting bilbo should be back there is ABSOLUTELY what it seems to be #but it's also maybe a little ''you can have that. I can't. you can still go back and have that‚ so you should.'' #anyway yes I can't remember anything i've seen about the ship I'm just poking at the films out of curiosity #the book kinda confused me as a kid when I reached the point of bilbo's betrayal #I've yet to reread as an adult and am not at that point in the films yet #but I seem to recall they presented it maybe more clearly as a kind of protecting thorin thing? #which I could buy. #bilbo's interesting. clever and mild and manipulative. I don't like him as a person but I kinda do as a character. #but thorin just… the guy feels doomed from the start. you can't put a person on that kind of pedestal without messing them up majorly. #the ''I looked at him and saw someone who could lead us as king'' moment (paraphrasing) was chilling to me #as grand and noble as it was meant to be too. but that might be what made it so tragic. #I'd apologise for these tags but I'd be lying. reserving the right to come back and shape them into coherent thoughts later though.

[meteors-lotr]

Bard totally thought Bilbo and Thorin were married

I’m back on my bs

So I remembered yesterday that the dwarves like totally lied straight to Bard’s face when they first met him, saying that they were going across the lake cause they were visiting their relatives in the iron hills. Now who knows how much of that he believed, but ya know, he didn’t ask many questions at least

So sure, cool. Couple of dwarves traveling between the blue mountains and the iron hills, nothing strange about that, they’re dwarves. But amongst the bearded little dudes, there’s a Hobbit. Hobbits, who famously rarely travel anywhere, much less as far as the iron hills. What is he doing so far from home?

But since none of the dwarves said anything akin to “Also this hobbit is traveling with us, just for convenience”, then it must mean that the hobbit is with them. Apart of the group, apart of the family. And unless one of these dwarves have adopted the little dude, which would be highly unlikely, he must be apart of the family in some other way. And what’a the most common way to enter a family? Marriage.

So the Hobbit, Bilbo as he introduces himself as, is probably married to one of the dwarves. But who? Well, he’s seen standing very close to the brooding one with dark hair and short beard. The brooding dwarf in fact rarely leaves his side, always standing on the ready to protect the little one.

And in the town square, when the brooding one (Thorin, rightful king of Erebor) needs someone to vouch for him, who is the first to pipe up but the hobbit, speaking highly of the young king, with adoration and hope in his eyes.

But not only did Bard probably think the two were married, no he also probably thought he was witnessing their divorce first hand on top of the wall of Erebor. Probably one of the weirdest couples he’s ever met, and his town had the unibrow guy hooking up with Stephen Fry.

#lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #bard the bowman #The hobbit analysis #the hobbit desolation of smaug #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #Thilbo #bagginshield

[annihilatedthenightstalker]

It kind of wrecks me when the media reduces Legolas to the overpowered hot guy who defies gravity.

Like...

Did we watch the same movies?

Not only is this guy just an insanely honorable and fierce member of the Fellowship, but he's an infinitely heartfelt and dedicated friend. He would go to the ends of the earth to follow Aragorn, to save Merry and Pippin, to fight in the name of Frodo Baggins.

He's lost his mother, he was raised by a grieving and emotionally absent father, he was sheltered from the rest of the world for years, he went from insulting and threatening dwarves to protecting and practically EXISTING for one. Not to mention everything he did post war of the ring, uniting his people yet removing himself from his royal status??

And just to think, he has to grapple with immortality. To other elves it doesn't matter, but to him, his entire life has become these mortal friends he's grown to call family. And he has to go on living while they all slowly die.

And yeah, he's a fucking INSANE FIGHTER. Like BEYOND REASON.

I get that to the dude bros he's just a hot guy for the girls to thirst over but in reality he's just as complex as the rest of them and I'd really like for us to acknowledge it for once.

#dont even get me started on him and his bf #oh yeah yk that guy i called ugly that one time? hes my husband now #yeah i bet you think dwarves are ugly legolas #i can make 50 posts about this #legolas #lotr #lord of the rings #tolkien #peter jackson #middle earth

[sinfullyrosey]

Shrimpmer!Reader

Floyd Leech X GN!Shrimpmer!Reader X Jade Leech

Warnings: Mild Violence, Brief Mentions of Accurate Shrimp Cleaning Methods (kind of gross)

I literally had written up a mini fic showcasing the tweels first meeting Shrimper!Reader… and lost it. Have no idea where it is. Searched through my drafts and got pissed, so just started over from scratch.

Can be read as platonic but with a lot of sus behavior ngl

The Basics (aka an Introduction to Shrimpmer!Reader)

Shrimpmer!Reader is a cleaner shrimp, a type of shrimp known for cleaning off parasites, algae, insects, and other bad stuff from fish. They’ve even been known to eat the mucus and infectious material around a fish’s wound to reduce infection and aid in healing. There are different species of cleaner shrimp, ‘scarlet skunk’ or ‘white-striped’ cleaner shrimps being known for cleaning the mouths of moral eels specifically.

Shrimpmer!Reader specifically comes from a family of cleaner shrimps that have a long-standing business partnership with the Leeches. Their family provides their cleaning and patch-up services to better the mereels’ health and heal any injuries, and in turn, the Leeches provide protection. It’s a mutualistic relationship where both benefit. And congrats, they were assigned to the tweels when they were but a mere fry and twins were still little elvers.

But what is it that Shrimpmer!Reader does exactly? Well, they have a cleaning station set up (i.e. a flat rock for the tweels to lay on while they work) and they go over the twins’ body, ridding it of any parasites and other debris. Picking at their scales and skin like a fine-tooth comb. They’ll even clean their sharp teeth using specialized brushes and tools to make sure nothing is stuck and strengthen the dentin (real shrimp physically go inside eel’s mouths, but shrimpmers are too big for that). Whenever the twins come to them with an injury after one of their scuffles, Shrimpmer!Reader will clean and disinfect the wound, being sure to remove any parasites, then wrap up the wound to heal faster.

In terms of anatomy and size difference, Shrimpmer!Reader is much smaller compared to the twins, but not on the same scale difference as real shrimps and moray eels. They’re not tiny enough to fit in their mouths but are small enough to be carried with ease. The best comparison I can give is like with the dwarves and Neige, but the tweels’ eel forms are much bigger compared to regular humans, so Shrimpmer!Reader would be shorter compared to a human as well. Floyd would joke about them being “child-sized.” Just like the Octatrio, their bottom half is that of a white-striped cleaner shrimp while the rest of their body has the matching miscolored skin, fin ears, and a pair of long, white antenna on the top of their head. No, their hands aren’t claws/pincers, but they do have sharp nails that aid in cleaning.

The Shrimp and the Eels Headcanons

Like mentioned above, Shrimpmer!Reader was assigned to Floyd and Jade back when they were all still children. Each new generation of Leech ends up being assigned a cleaner shrimp who are around the same age so that they can grow together and build a proper symbiotic bond. You just ended up unlucky ‘cause Mr. and Mrs. Leech had twins and you were the only available one in your family at the time. A two for one deal, as it were.

Rough first meet (the twins are asses even back then), but you eventually adjusted and they learned how much they actually enjoy getting all those nasties off of them. You were gentle and efficient, it was very soothing, almost therapeutic to them. But it was only after one particular cleaning where Floyd came to you, a week after he got into a fight, wound infected and riddled with parasites, that they fully realized just how much they needed you. Neither twin skipped a cleaning or wound treatment after that.

You are tiny and not built for fighting, so the twins are more than happy to do so for you!~ Some predator is stalking you, trying to get a taste? Floyd is already grabbing them by the tail, pulling them away from you and towards his own dangerously sharp jaws. Another merperson is bulling you, picking on your smaller size? Jade’s looming right behind, tail at the ready to squeeze the life out of them. Most of your patch-up work was from attending to their wounds sustained in fights defending you.

Floyd and Jade both have their tails wrapped around some poor, unfortunate soul who was pulling on your antenna. Jade is taunting the crying fry while Floyd is “playfully” biting their tail fins.

“Jade, Floyd, let them go already. You’re going to get in trouble…”

You do meet Azul later on, though never quite befriend him per say. His contracts made you uncomfortable and untrusting of his intentions. In turn, Azul was stiff and reserved around you on the account of the overly protective eels threatening to chew his tentacles off if he tried anything.

You’re not a student at NRC nor a student of RSA. Magic isn’t your forte (or your concern really), the tweels are. Which is why you do visit the schoolgrounds frequently, especially after the two (mainly Floyd) start complaining about “needing their shrimp.” They’re not even in their eel forms most of the time, but they do still get into fights and the nurse on staff isn’t good enough.

Congrats, you’re now the Leech’s designated Health Support Cleaner Shrimp, or whatever bullshit the twins pulled out of their tails when forcing requesting to Crowley that you be allowed to stay at Octavinelle! Double congrats, because you also work at Mostro Lounge as a janitor because you literally clean for a living!

In your human form, you are much shorter than most of the other students and you have two long cowlicks that resemble your antenna. You aren’t the biggest fan of this form, finding two legs to be difficult to navigate, especially since you kind of skipped the prep class. Floyd was impatient and claimed him and Jade would just teach you themselves. An unwise decision really.

I mean, you could also just request to have the potion adjusted so you can be taller too, I guess idk the twins aren’t going to tell you that.

You sometimes turn back into your merform with the tweels and swim together because you miss it. Floyd definitely missed curling his tail around his little shrimp and pinning you down with his much bigger size. He especially loves to flip you on your back and watch your little feetsies wiggle around in a panic.

Jade misses the cleanings more than anything else. Being a vice dormleader while also working at a lounge and doing schoolwork is stressful for one eel. So, being able to just relax and have you attend to him while he prattles on about mushrooms is absolute heaven. That’s not to say he doesn’t mess with you either. Jade will gladly use your height against you by putting your cleaning supplies on a higher shelf, so you’re forced to ask him for help, teasing you all the while.

No, you can’t clean anybody else, merfolk or otherwise. Only them. Azul almost lost a tentacle after suggesting such a thing when he noticed business was running slower.

You’re their cleaner shrimp, and they’re your eels. Anybody aware of the Leech’s influence know to back off lest they end up missing under mysterious circumstances.

Oh yeah, and the tweels, at some point, made it a habit to kiss you after you finished cleaning them under the guise of you “cleaning their teeth.” It’s become something so casual between you three now that when Azul caught sight of the twins and you locking lips, he nearly fell over at not realizing the three of you were (supposedly) an item.

#Twisted Wonderland #TWST #Floyd Leech X Reader #Jade Leech X Reader #GN!Reader #I had indented to add a section dedicated to reader dating the tweels but I got creatively burnt out at the end #maybe I'll post a part two at a later date

[screamingcatus]

The twinkifcation of Bilbo is weird I’m used to fandoms doing that I’m not naive as to why and I have just gotten into the hobbit fandom so maybe I have only seen a small fraction of fan art that does it but Bilbo is a 50 year old man(hobbit whatever)and it’s specifically stated that hobbits eat more than three meals a day so no he does not look like a twink. He is also insane his home gets invaded by 12 dwarves and an old man in a house dress and is basically dared into going on a dangerous quest to steal from a basically god like being to him he has no experience in stealing at all but says FUCK IT WHY NOT and then basically lucks out by finding a weird ring from this weird fucked up dude in a cave and then decided not to tell anyone.

Point is Bilbo is definitely gay but he is not a useless little twink who always needs to be protected that man is insane let him be insane.

Long rant but I just have been needing to say that for awhile

#bilbo baggins #thorin x bilbo #the hobbit #jrr tolkien #thorin oakenshield #bilbo fanart #the hobbit bilbo #fanaart #fan art #gay #ships #fandom ships #bagginshield

[infernalwitxhcraft]

All About: House Spirits

Well, it's about time I brought them up once again, in their own post. This guide may be on the lengthy side, but it's here to explain what they are and how to begin working with them.

What the hell is a house spirit?

House spirits come from all different cultures and folklore. Known as, you guessed it, guardians of the home. They protect the house itself, the land around it (they get along with the land spirit(s) most of the time), and they also protect the family if treated right. A home certainly doesn't feel like one without these presiding spirits helping. In fact it gives the home a life of it's own.

What do they look like? Are there types?

Across many cultures, there are these spirits and the folklore varies for each. In my tribe, we consider them to usually be little dwarves or goblins that must be appeased, otherwise they will cause bad luck or even resort to curses. Regular offerings are required. Then there are the land spirits, which is a whole other topic. If given regular offerings and respect, we believe that they will not only generate good luck and events for us, but protect us and help with our daily lives. For the witches of the tribe, they will often assist in rituals and spells. That all being said, this has carried over into my personal beliefs. Many cultures describe house spirits assisting with the same things and if they are displeased, bad occurrences following. As far as looks go, it depends on the folklore surrounding your area and your cultural background(s). You may believe in one or two types or an entire spectrum of house spirits from the realm of the fair folk. You could have one house spirit or twelve. It's entirely up to your home. In some cultures, there are door spirits (yes, that guard the doors) and ones that work in the kitchen, among others for different functions of the home.

Okay so, I live in an apartment building. Can I still work with them?

Yes. When I used to live in apartments, I found it was an either/or situation regarding how many were there. Some buildings have only a few that roam around, sometimes only one that protects the entire building, or there may be multiple hanging out in one apartment. Most complexes have multiple however. And then for the lucky buildings that have one for each apartment...those are nice. I've included a short offering ritual at the end of this post, which you can use to ask questions about whatever you wish to know, including how many there are in the building.

What kind of offerings do they like?

Milk, honey, bread, and herbs are a safe bet. They especially like bread baked by you, as they see it as a labor of love and that your energy is in there. Taking time to tend to the garden and taking care of your property & home in general are things they like to see. Don't leave the house a huge mess, as many prefer a tidy atmosphere. Not an offering per say, but important to mention nonetheless.

What should I put on their altar?

I keep my altar for them in the kitchen, as it is in a place that is undisturbed and can't be torn up by my land shark (aka, my dog). I also feel that most of the house spirits I have worked with in my life enjoy hanging out in this area of the home. They seem to like assisting in kitchen magic and cooking in general and the warmth of the stove. You may also want to include a small area near the front door if you believe that there are separate spirits for there. I'd recommend a shelf, as it won't take up as much space in the entryway.

Okay, back on track. Plants (if the space gets enough light), a cauldron, candles, offering bowls, a chalice, glass, or mug of some sort. A special spoon to stir the drinks or potions with. Decorative pieces from nature. Things you craft by hand.

How can I begin working with them?

Anytime, in reality. However, you do have to develop an actual relationship with them. This can take time and the more you speak to them, give offerings, and invite them in as you cook or clean, the more they will be willing to help with your spellwork, wards, and healing. Try the introduction ritual I've included. See what happens. Document it. Try again another time the following week. And just...keep going. Make sure that they know you haven't forgotten about them by leaving a small nightly glass of milk out before you head to bed. It doesn't have to be filled to the rim (hey, cost of living is ridiculous right now). It can be a splash with a squirt of honey added. Or a sprinkle of herbs on their bowl. Or maybe a small helping of what you whipped up for dinner. Point is to show them that you acknowledge and respect their presence. That will be the biggest component. Do the ritual once a week until you start seeing signs of contact. Once you do, make your own ritual with them. Incorporate them into your daily life. Ask them to help with blessing your cooking. Ask them to make sure your wards are in tact. Ask the door spirit to purify the energy of anyone that walks in & make bad people resist coming by. Start seeing if they'd like to sit in on a ritual, if you feel comfortable with that idea. Ask for a blessing when you clean the house & to assist you in removing all the bad energy.

Brief introductory ritual

To introduce yourself to your house spirits, I recommend sitting in your kitchen. If you consider your hearth to be the living room, you can choose to do it there. Make sure to bring offerings with that you feel will be applicable. Freshly baked bread (from your own hands) and some milk with honey stirred in would make a wonderful first treat. I usually introduce myself in a new home by bringing these treats to the location of choice, and start by speaking my intention aloud which goes something like:

"Spirits of the home,

Guardians and Protectors of this dwelling,

Please come sit with me and enjoy these offerings.

I wish to have a working relationship where we can honor, respect, and help each other."

I usually spend about ten-twenty minutes meditating after this is spoken aloud. Sometimes you will feel a strong presence. This is the time I take to set up my kitchen altar as well. If there is a place that I am able to create a mini-altar by the front door, I do so there for the door spirits. The land spirits get their own little thing out in the backyard. I've found in the many places I've lived, they almost always work together and some house spirits spend quite some time out there too!

From here on out, you'll develop your relationship with regular offerings and take it from there!

#witchcraft #witch #witchblr #green witch #house spirits #hearth witch #kitchen witch #faery folk #beginner witch #witchy guide

[fun-fact-generator-3000]

I think the biggest disservice of all time is what they did to my man Thranduil in The Hobbit movies. In the book, sure he's a little dramatic when it comes to imprisoning the dwarves until they admit their business, but to be fair, they did go around scaring the shit out of the socially adverse little wood elves. And he helps out Laketown by building them shelters from the cold after their town is destroyed and he goes with Bard and the men from Laketown to demand money for the people of Laketown and Bilbo absolutely adores him basically goes "If I have to fight in this battle, I want to fight to protect Thranduil" and he calls Bilbo "elf-friend" and is overall just a great little guy. And then in the movies, they make him out to be this huge angry greedy bitch and it's so sad because he's not evil :(

#the hobbit #bilbo baggins #thranduil #tolkein #the hobbit movies #the hobbit book #Justice for thranduil #hes just a little guy

[an-idyllic-novelist]

rimuru tempest with fem!tanjiro!reader headcanons

Hey guys, welcome to another collaboration with @deathmetalunicorn1, though the credit on the concept of the pairing and these headcanons go to my dear friend. I really hope you will enjoy what we have written. If you'd like to see more content like this, or an extended version of these headcanons, please let us know!

So with that being said, sit back, relax, and enjoy! :)

Although Rimuru Tempest  knows his significant other and her little sister are strong, he will not stop worrying about Tanjiro!reader’s wellbeing, especially when she and Nezuko  leave Tempest on a mission, and he is unable to join them for whatever reason. His anxiety will increase tenfold when his relationship with the former Demon Slayer evolved from being friends who just happened to stumble upon each other’s paths as soon as he left Veldor’s cave to being lovers. 

It will be very hard for the demon lord to sleep for the first few nights when he is so used to curling up next to Tanjiro!reader and Nezuko, the latter sprawled out and almost always in her toddler form. However, when she does return, Tanjiro!reader will always bring back a souvenir from wherever she traveled to, normally a tasty treat or a cute little knick-knack she saw at a market. 

[To ease his lord’s worries, Diablo will mobilize a few of the Black Numbers to keep a discreet eye on the Kamado siblings, personally delivering periodical reports on their whereabouts to Rimuru when it was an appropriate time between meetings and inspections around the capital. After all, an excellent butler must be able to anticipate his lord’s every need and alleviate his concerns so that he may continue to focus on his duties in the land. If something does happen, Diablo will act immediately and make sure Tanjiro!reader and Nezuko return to Tempest safely.]

Tanjiro!reader unwinds from her journey with a big hug from Rimuru in both his slime and human form. Rimuru would receive affection from Nezuko if she isn’t sleeping in her box in the form of bone crushing hugs or his hair being ruffled by a clawed hand. If Rimuru hadn’t eaten, she would whip a simple home-cooked meal that is either a traditional recipe from the Kamado household, or one that Mitsuri, the Love Hashira, had taught her when they were alive back in her old world. 

Rimuru will definitely join in and help, even all she’ll allow him to do in the kitchen is wash the dishes. 

After he had been reincarnated in this world, he took the Japanese cuisine he had eaten for granted, even the microwaveable ramen noodle cups he’d heat up in the company break room when he had to work late at the office. Back then, Misaki Satoru didn’t care much about his health so much as worried about forever remaining a virgin because he couldn’t score a date with a cute girl. 

He honestly couldn’t have anything resembling his homeland’s cooking until his country was developed further, including the dwarves’ metal-working and the orcs’ infamous work ethic. He couldn’t remember how many times he had told Geld and the others to rest even when they insisted that they kept working. Now, he could share a meal and enjoy a hot bath with someone he loves very dearly.

Nezuko is, of course, welcomed to join them in the bath since she loves swimming around the large hot spring he had built in the back of his home. When she joined them, Rimuru reverted to being a slime to protect Nezuko’s innocence.  If he’s alone with Tanjiro!reader, he’ll either be a slime or his human form, depending on his mood. 

Speaking of which, Nezuko is the little sister everyone in Tempest adores and will be fiercely protected. Rimuru is her favorite person, but when Milim decides to stop by for a visit, she is Nezuko’s new favorite, no matter how much he bribes her with newest confections that were created or toys. But between these two….Nezuko will always pick Tanjiro!reader, if she’s an option. 

Rimuru’s love language includes quality time, words of affirmation, and gift-giving. But what he enjoys the most is having afternoon tea on the porch, him sitting in her lap as a slime and munching on sticks of mitarashi dango or different flavored onigiri.  

If anything happened to either Tanjiro!reader or Nezuko because an enemy nation was jealous of Tempest’s flourishing economy and thought it would be a brilliant idea to hold them hostage or try to hurt them….they had better be prepared to have another kingdom falling into ruins. 

Remember what happened to Falmuth?

Taglist

@sunnyblackbird

@abelheilonwife

@nunezs-stuff

#an idyllic novelist #x reader headcanons #fem!reader #tanjiro!reader #kny x reader #that time i got reincarnated as a slime #rimuru tempest x reader #tensei shitara slime datta ken #that time i got reincarnated as a slime x reader #rimuru x reader #rimuru tempest #tensei shitara slime datta ken x reader

[theglassofmiddleearth]

Imagine you enter the woods of Lothlorien with the Fellowship.

Gimli: Stay close, young hobbits! They say a great sorceress lives in these woods. An Elf-Witch.

Y/N: *Smirks* Of terrible power?

Gimli: Tis no joke m'lady. All who look upon her fall under her spell.

Galadriel: *Telepathically* Frodo..

Gimli: And are never seen again.

Y/N: Do not fear little ones. We will keep you from harm.

Samwise: We should be saying that to you Y/N.

Galadriel: You're coming to us, is as the footsteps of doom.

Galadriel: *Telepathically* You bring great evil here. Ring bearer.

Sam: Mr Frodo?

Gimli: Well, here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox.

The elves of the Lothlórien woods appears with bows.

Y/N: *Unsurprised* Is that right?

Haldir: The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark.

Y/N: *Stifles a chuckle*

They walk to Lórien

Haldir: *In elvish* Well met, Legolas son of Thranduil.

Legolas: Our Fellowship stands in your debt. Haldir of Lórien.

Y/N: Yep, I love it when he speaks elvish. *She smiles down at the hobbits.*

Haldir: Ah, Aragorn of the Dúnedain. You are known to us.

Aragorn: Haldir..

Haldir: Pethryn.

Y/N: *Nods silently.*

Gimli: So much for the legendary courtesy of the Elves. Speak words we can all understand.

Y/N: *Grins* They are greeting eachother. Be patient my friend.

Haldir: *In the common tongue* We have not had dealings with the dwarves since the Dark Days.

Gimli: And you know what this Dwarf says to that? Ishkhaqwi ai duru- (I spit upon your gra-)

Y/N: *Stops Gimli with her hand and gentle taps his shoulder.* Now now Gimli.

Aragorn: That was not so courteous.

Haldir: *Turns to look at Frodo.* You bring great evil with you. You can go no further.

Aragorn: *In elvish* We need your protection, the road is fell. Please we need your support.

Legolas: Y/N, you understand Sindarin?

Y/N: What, me solving the riddle wasn't enough for you? *She grins*

Aragorn: *In Elvish* I wish we may come with you. The road is very dangerous Haldir.

Boromir: Gandalf's death was not in vain. Nor would he have you give up hope. You carry a heavy burden Frodo. Don't carry the weight of the dead.

Haldir: You will follow me.

They travel to Caras Galadhon.

Haldir: Caras Galadhon.

Y/N: The heart of Elvendom on earth.

Haldir: Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light.

Y/N: *Smirks to Aragorn.* I get to see the pretty elves again.

Aragorn: *Rolls his eyes*

Legolas: *Mutters* Am I not a pretty elf?

Y/N: *Laughs* You are the prettiest of all elves Miluir ("Lovely one" in Sindarin)

Legolas: *Gapes in surprise.*

Y/N: *Chuckles and walks away.*

Legolas: Wait! What did you just call me? Say it again!

#legolas x reader #lotr shitpost #lotr imagine #legolas #legolas x y/n #legolas x you #aragorn #aragorn x reader #imagine lord of the rings #lotr incorrect quotes #lotr x reader #lotr gimli #legolas greenleaf #Aragorn x you #lotr fanfic #lotr #lord of the rings x y/n #lord of the rings x reader #lord of the rings imagine #lotr x y/n #lotr x you

[iseathegalaxy]

rewatched the hobbit trilogy (i love it, fight me) and no-one will ever convince me there's no romantic subtext between bilbo and thorin (intended or not)

because how can you look at me straight in the eye and tell me there isn't something more than friendship when thorin, in the middle of having dragon fever and being completely consumed by the treasure that sorrounds him, doesn't trust any of his brothers, his kin, the dwarves he has always been with but he trusts bilbo, only him, the stranger he just met and didn't even like at first and who he told he was a burden and no help and should go back home

how can you look at me straight in the eye and claim there's just a friendship when, again, in the middle of this all-consuming trance thorin is in because of the piles of gold he still gifts bilbo a mithril mailchain to protect him, all while mistrusting everyone else

how can you look at me straight in the eye and utter that there's nothing there when it doesn't even cross thorin's mind that the one that has the arkenstone could be bilbo but immediately thinks of everyone else

how can you look at me straight in the eye and declare they just share a mission when bilbo is the only one there with him in death (not blaming the others for their absence, merely pointing out a creative decision) and thorin asks for forgiveness and they both share this very intimate last moment

and how can you look at me straight in the eye and speak that there is nothing romantic in bilbo's words when, after balin says thorin will pass into legend, he replies that "to [bilbo] he was never that, he was... to [bilbo]... he was..." and he cannot bring himself to finish the sentence! all while balin is smiling knowingly at him!

be it either because it was on purpose or just another side effect of men refusing to write fully fledge female characters (or a female character at all) and therefore giving the men the kind of deep, complex, incredibly intricate relationships the world refuses to acknowledge for anyone but straight couples, we'll never know, but they're there and oh god, do they make me cry when they end like this one does

#the hobbit #the hobbit spoilers #the hobbit trilogy #the desolation of smaug #the battle of the five armies #the battle of the five armies spoilers #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #lord of the rings #thilbo #bagginshield

[ohnonotnow]

Beorn was so hot in the book and I feel like we don't talk about it enough.

Like I'm sorry that's "a great strong black-haired man with huge arms and a great beard" (as Gandalf said) who loves animals, has a great wooden house, has a good sense of humor, is very protective of those he cares about (literally followed the dwarves all the way to Mirkwood from the distance to make sure his ponies are safe), is hella strong, a good host and later becomes a great chief who rules the wide land between the Misty Mountains and Mirkwood.

I'm sorry but if that isn't an ideal man right there then idk what is..

#the hobbit #battle of the five armies #tolkien #beorn #lotr #the lord of the rings #would absolutely let beorn hit it #i need a strong muscular bearded long haired man to absolutely destroy my insides thank you very much

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Hello. Can you write Dark!Thranduil and a plus size female reader ? Please.

.⋆｡Auta Nissë｡⋆.

Dark!Thranduil x human!plus size reader

She was unique, she was beautiful, she was soft and by the gods, she would be his

Warnings: DARK FIC, kidnapping, forced marriage, obsession, mentions of death, magic, manipulation, no use of y/n, drugging

WC: 1.1k

A/N: Title means kept woman

Minors DNI

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

It was certainly curious, a woman among the group of dwarves his guards had brought him- and a human woman at that. She stood out from the group like a sore thumb, yet she fit in with them all the same. They crowded around her legs as if to shield her from his gaze, to protect her from whatever he had in store for the trespassers.

“How fascinating, a woman in your midst. Tell me, king under the mountain, is she your bed warmer or just a lost creature you took pity on?” He sat forward on his throne of knotted wood, his crystal blue eyes focused on her, taking in every inch of her face. She showed no fear, nor any offence to his crudeness. The king smirked, she would do well.

The dwarves around her exploded, each attempting to insult him in not only the common tongue but in their native language as well. He paid them no mind, letting his gaze drift down to her body. She was at least modest, a large white shirt and dark trousers hid her away, disguising her curves quite well but he could still see the bulge of her hips and the softness of her stomach.

She was unlike any woman he had encountered before. Her eyes held the fire of a warrior, her hands were as stable as a healer’s, and the protective stance of a mother. “Take them away, but leave the girl. I believe she will tell us what we wish to know.” He spoke over their shoats, ignoring the way that they all reached for her as if their pathetic efforts could somehow save her.

Her fingers curled into her palm but otherwise gave him no reaction to suddenly being isolated. Gracefully, he stood to his full height, easily towering over the woman, casting a dark shadow over her as he approached. “Why do you travel with such… filth?” He crooned.

“I was hired to do so.” She answered simply, her voice strong. It carried through the throne room like a lone instrument in a concert hall and settled into his bones, marking them with the melodic tones of her words. A fire began to grow in his loins.

He took a step closer, she did not flinch. “I could offer you a place here, in my court. Certainly your skills and your beauty would be of more value here than on some fruitless journey that will only end in death.” As he drew closer, more of her perfect imperfections became clearer- her moles and birthmarks, scars and blemishes, but to him, they were simply an extra detail in the statuesque flawlessness of her figure.

“If it ends in death, then that will be how I die.” She retorted, lifting her head to meet his gaze once more as he was now only arm’s distance away. “I am human, death is not unknown to us.”

The side of Thranduil’s face burned with rage, reminding him of what he had lost to death all those many years ago. But that defiance, that drive so similar to that of his late wife, soothed the burn. “There are ways to cheat death, even for a human. But for now, it is my wish that you remain here until I decide how your quest shall continue.” With a flick of his slender wrist, he summoned two more guards.

They stood either side of her and began to lead her away. “You cannot stop fate, your highness.” She called, making him pause. The doors slammed closed behind her, leaving the great elven king to his thoughts.

——————

“I’m glad you joined me for dinner tonight.” He remarks while knowing that she had no choice. The Battle of The Five Armies had concluded months ago, Erebore was free and peace had finally settled over the land, yet Thranduil was still in the midst of his own war.

She refused his love. Isolating herself in the rooms he had so graciously given her, throwing away the luxurious food prepared fresh each day, even attempting to enact various escape attempts, but that had slowed significantly when she was moved to his own chambers and could be restrained each night in his arms.

Her silence irked him but he allowed it. “I wish that you would gain back some weight before the wedding.” She glared in response, merely sipping at her wine with her one free hand, the other bound to the ornate seat she was forced into. 

He sighed through his nose, hiding a smirk behind his own goblet. Her eyes fluttered shut as she drank the expensive liquor, savouring the sweet taste, unknowing that it was not the wine itself that gave the dark liquid its flavour. 

“Meletril.” (lover) He tuts, rising from his own chair to round the table. “Your hair is a mess. Let me fix it for you.” She was stiff as his slender fingers began to pick at her hair, delicately moving large strands into several braids. He worked quickly, the patterns and movements now an unconscious practice even if he had not practised in almost 1000 years.

“There, now I can properly see your pretty face.” His right hand cupped her full cheek, guiding her face upwards to him. Her eyes were now glassy, the potion he had snuck into her drink beginning to affect her, but her fire was still there, just existing as an ember now.

“This will not last, I will perish sooner or later and you will be left alone again.” She hissed, the bite in her tone significantly dulled. Yet Thranduil smiled and brushed her soft skin with his thumb before retreating back to his seat.

“Thorin sends his well-wishes, he is very excited about the wedding. And your little friend, what was his name, oh right! Bilbo, he will be journeying from the Shire with his nephew to attend.” Her nostrils flared with rage.

“Just kill me already! I am of no use to you other than a pet!” She cried, though her voice was beginning to slur as the magic took hold of her. 

The elven king slammed his hand on the table, immediately silencing her. “Enough! I have had enough of your silly rebellions and cruel words. You will be my wife simply because I love you. So no more silly speak of you being a pet, you are my equal, my queen but you obviously need to be reminded of your place. You are to never leave my side, death will not take you, I have made sure of that. Now eat.” Her eyes were now wide with panic, the truth finally settling in.

“What have you done?” Her skin began to glow as the transformation began. The king watched as all the indicators of her age were wiped away, the smile lines, the bags beneath her eyes, even scarring from the blemishes of puberty. She was ethereal, eternal now, just like him.

“I have changed your fate.”

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