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#prompt: self awareness
sleepyprompts · 1 year
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Prompt #992
“It’s a lot easier to hate you when I’m not looking at you.”
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laidee-flegman · 5 months
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Shadow Work prompts for early childhood
Exploring your early childhood and connecting with your inner child can be a powerful aspect of shadow work. Here are 30 prompts to help you delve a little deeper
What are your earliest memories from childhood, and how do they make you feel?
Reflect on your relationship with your parents or caregivers during your early years. How has it influenced your adult life?
Explore the concept of attachment and your attachment style. How has it affected your relationships?
What were the primary messages you received about yourself and your worth as a child?
Write a letter to your inner child, offering love, support, and understanding.
Describe a specific moment from your childhood when you felt happy and carefree.
Think about a moment from your childhood when you felt scared or vulnerable. How does that memory affect you today?
How did you cope with stress or difficult emotions as a child, and are those coping mechanisms still present in your life?
Reflect on any significant losses or changes you experienced as a child and how they impacted you.
What were your favorite activities or hobbies as a child, and do you still engage in them?
Explore any unfulfilled dreams or ambitions from your early years and how they relate to your current goals.
Write about any patterns or behaviors that you observed in your family during your childhood.
Consider the role of your inner critic. What negative self-talk or beliefs developed during your early years?
Reflect on your early friendships. How did they shape your understanding of connection and trust?
Explore your understanding of love and affection as a child. How has it evolved in your adult relationships?
What were the rules and expectations in your family during your childhood, and how do they affect you now?
How do you deal with your inner child's needs and emotions when they arise in your adult life?
Describe a moment from your childhood when you felt a strong sense of self-esteem or confidence.
Think about the ways you were praised or criticized as a child. How do those experiences impact your self-esteem?
Reflect on any role models or significant people from your childhood who influenced your development.
Explore your earliest experiences of shame or guilt and how they continue to affect you.
Write a dialogue between your present self and your inner child. What would your inner child say to you?
Consider the concept of playfulness and joy. How can you incorporate more of this into your life?
Reflect on your relationship with authority figures in your early years and how it relates to your adult experiences.
Describe a childhood dream or fantasy. Does it hold any significance or wisdom for you today?
Explore your relationship with trust. How do you decide who to trust, and does it stem from your childhood experiences?
What were the unspoken or hidden aspects of your family dynamics during your childhood?
Write about any unfinished emotional business from your early years that you'd like to address.
Consider any unresolved anger or resentment from your childhood. How does it affect your current relationships?
Reflect on the concept of self-care for your inner child. What activities or practices can nurture your inner child's well-being?
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chocoenvy · 1 year
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Hey hey hey hey! Remember those different moms for child god reader fics? Well since Sumeru came out, what if Child God landed there and Dunyazad takes them in for a bit and Child God unknowingly cures her Eleazar?
OH MY FUCKING-
Mommy Dunyarzad (except she shows up for a solid two seconds)
warnings: Angsty!! Spoilers for Sumeru archon quest, a child (under 10) is considered god, cult behaviors
Notes: That's right bitches im alive
3.1k words
Her hands were shaking as she carefully took care of the child, reaching out for their forehead to feel their temperature, gently checking their pulse and heart.
"The Dendro archon must have blessed me once more." The sentence slipped shakily past her lips, a disbelieving smile tugging up on her lips yet her eyes remained creased in worry. She must've looked insane, but really how else was she supposed to react?
There was no way she could pick you up, and there was no way she could leave you to get Dehya. Dunyarzad bit her lip, glaring at her bandaged hands.
She sighed, "Guess I'll just have to wait until you awake, little one." Her eyes softened fondly at your sleeping form, "May the Dendro archon bless your dreams." She placed her hand on your forehead.
The Dendro archon was, in fact, blessing your dreams.
Behind your eyes there was a dream unfolding before you. You stood in the middle of a large cage the bars higher than your house. In there with you was a small girl, green accented hair and her large green eyes, her pupils were blooming flowers.
"You're not from here, are you?" Her voice was high pitched and soft, yet resounded in your ears. You couldn't ignore her even if you tried.
"Where is here?" Your voice was equally soft, despite the circumstances there was no flame in your veins screaming at you to get out of this cage.
You couldn't tear your eyes away from the girl's.
The girl smiled, "Here is here, and you are not usually here, are you?"
You frowned at her confusing wording, "I guess you're right."
She hummed and nodded, pleased, "Yes, (Y/n), right?"
For some reason you weren't surprised that she knew your name. You stepped closer, "Yes. Who are you? And how do you know my name?"
"There are few who don't know." She responded simply, "Both your name and mine, as is the way with gods. We are commodities."
"Co...mo- wait what do you mean gods? And you still didn't tell me your name." You pouted, your head spinning from her confusing sentances.
The girl came closer to you, her eyes made your skin crawl, she stared straight through you, every crevice of your soul was seen by her. Yet somehow she was still comforting, smiling and soft, she saw all of you and understood all of you.
"I am Nahida. Do you know where here is?" She dodged questions like a master, making you wonder how many mind games she's played.
"I... don't." You frowned, your eyes growing slowly watery.
Panic erupted in her eyes, "Well, technically you are dreaming right now, but I am more than real. Where your body is, is not where it's supposed to be."
"My...body..." You muttered, "So where is my body then? If I am not where I'm supposed to be?" You worriedly frowned, "Am I at school? I'm not supposed to sleep at school."
Nahida chuckled, "No, it's not as bad as that. You are merely... hmm how should I put this?... It's the same as a bee living in a hive that's not its own but all the bees think you're the queen bee. You are outside of the system, and you're not supposed to be there, but you think it's home. Does that make sense?" She explained, "It's not necessarily a bad thing as you are not negatively impacting anything, but it's not how things are supposed to be. Do you understand?"
You stared blankly at her.
She sighed, slumping her shoulders, "You are a queen bee in a new hive, but in your old hive you were a regular bee." Her gaze turned grave, "The worker bees will all treat you differently. Remember that when you awake."
"W-what?" Your eyes were round and glassy, confused and scared, "What do you mean?"
Her tiny hands cradled the backs of your dominant hand, in your palm a foreign flower bloomed, "Remember my words and you will be alright. We shall meet again when you next dream. Take care, (Y/n) and don't be afraid. You will be taken care of."
Her smile was sweet as the moon and faded just as fast when the sunlight crashed onto your eyes. You groaned, covering your eyes so they wouldn't be burned by the sunlight.
There was a gasp above you, "You're up!" It sounded like a woman.
You blinked blearily up at her. She didn't look the slight bit familiar, and compared to the girl in your dreams she was rather plain looking. The girl in your dreams...
You shot up, My dream!
Your tiny body heaved gasps of air, as you ignored the woman beside you to soak in the surrounding scenery. It was green and beautiful, a large tree reaching its branches up to the sky was nearby, a fantastical city built into it. There was also a rainforest farther away, and you swore you saw a desert even father than that.
"Where... is here?" Your wide eyes looked up at the woman, swimming with confusion and yet - to Dunyarzad's surprise - no fear.
She smiled patiently, "Here is Sumeru, child. I am Dunyarzad, may I know your name?"
You blinked up at her.
You are a queen bee in a new hive. The words echoed throughout your head like a mantra.
"I'm (Y/n). It's nice to meet you Dunyarzad." You smiled up at her, hoping that Nahida's words - whatever they meant - were wrong.
Dunyarzad's breathing halted for a moment, and then she smiled. Large and warm and distant, "It's a joy to meet you, young (Y/n). Are you aware of your purpose here?"
"My... purpose?" Your large, child eyes stared curiously at her.
She nodded, "You were put here for a reason, I know you aren't a child from Sumeru who accidentally fell asleep in a forest. No, you are different. Do you know why exactly you are in Sumeru?"
You hesitantly shook your head as a no, worry filling your large orbs.
"You are here... because you love Teyvat." She grinned, "Isn't that right? You love Teyvat so much and the world knew, so it brought you here. Isn't that lovely?" She smiled so brightly it nearly outrivaled the sun.
You grinned, "Yeah! Though I've never seen Sumeru before, it's so pretty!" You looked around once more, drinking in everything you could see with glee. "So, my purpose is to enjoy Teyvat?" You tilted your head curiously.
Dunyarzad nodded gleefully, "Yes!" She said softly, honey coating her voice, "You were brought here by divine will, your will to be here and to love here."
You grinned brightly, "That's so cool!"
Dunyarzad nodded as you stood up and hopped around excitedly, "Settle down, child. Come," She stood, dusting off her dress, "allow me to take you to Sumeru city. It is much safer there, and comfier than the wilderness."
You looked at her outstretched hand covered in bandages. You gingerly placed your smaller hand in hers and she led you towards the massive tree, who's branches hoped to one day meet the sky.
*~
Before the gate to the city was even in sight, you could feel the stares from wandering people nearby. The way their eyes widened as they caught onto you, breath caught in their throat, their whole bodies turned in your direction.
Dunyarzad was all smiles, even as your hand tightened nervously around hers. You could see droplets of sweat drip down her face, but she remained bright and comforting. Yet you knew something was wrong.
You got closer to her, almost burying yourself in her side, staring at the ground to avoid the stares.
"Dunyarzad! What are you-" You jumped back as a large woman rushed to Dunyarzad.
"Dehya!" She gasped , "Thank the archons. Look, it's-"
The woman with weird... ears(?) on her head and sharp blue eyes grabbed Dunyarzad's arm urgently, "I know-" She shook her head, "I know who it is." She whispered urgently, "Come on let's go to your house before..." Her eyes connected with yours and you felt a chill travel down your spine. The worry and tint of fear in her eyes as she stared at you was enough to have your hands shaking and gripping tighter onto Dunyarzad's bandaged hand.
The woman - Dehya - rushed the two of you into the heart of the city. Dehya pulled you in between her and Dunyarzad, your right hand being held by Dunyarzad and left arm being held onto tightly by Dehya.
Your chest heaved, there were pinpricks on the back of your eyes and your throat stocked up. You could hear your heart beat reverberate in your ears.
Dehya ushered you and Dunyarzad into a house and shut the door quickly.
"Dehya what-"
"Dunyarzad I-" Her blue eyes glanced at you nervously before settling back on Dunyarzad, "You know-" She huffed and muttered, "Do you understand how the Akademiya will feel about them?"
Dunyarzad tilted her head, "Won't-won't they feel thrilled."
Dehya pursed her lips, "Dunyarzad..." She sighed after glancing at you once more, "We shouldn't be talking about this with them around. Come on kid, you hungry?"
The words struggled out of your mouth, "A little..."
"Here I'll get you a drink too." Her and Dunyarzad made eye contact and they left the room.
Your feet dangled off the seat and you stared at them mindlessly. The tears tickling the back of your eyes finally wriggled their way out. You sniffled and wiped the tears away as well as you could. Why were you so sad? This place was... fun wasn't it? Shouldn't it be?
You love Teyvat. You love everyone here. That's why you're here, that's what the little girl said.
But why did you want to go home so badly? Why did everyone look at you like that?
A bang resounded throughout the entire house, your head snapped up in alarm, and the front door was blocked off by a group of people.
You had a flashback to all those nightmares you'd had that went exactly like this. Those nightmares that had you waking up sobbing and running to your parent. But would you wake up this time? Who would you cry to?
Tears were already streaming down your face, sobs wracking your body. There was nobody to help you.
"Calm down, child." The person in the front said, his voice gruff and uncaring, "Come with us, you are very important and we cannot leave you here."
Wasn't that what the girl - Nahida - was saying? Was it really true?
You pursed your lips and opened them up to retort when a strong arm wrapped around your waist and carried you away. The wind whipped your hair back, a scream tore through your throat at the fear that suffocated your lungs.
Your nails dug into the arm holding you, you were now outside with this person carrying you. You managed to gather the sense to look at who it was.
Dehya.
Dunyarzad was nowhere to be found.
"W-" you coughed out, "Where-"
"Shh!" She shushed you harshly, "If we want to get out of here alive and happy we need to be quiet. Okay?"
Her tone made your crying - which had halted briefly from panic - to start up again.
A flash of regret burned her eyes but it was gone as soon as it had come.
"Okay." You quieted your sniffling.
"Dehya." A deeper, distinctly male voice cut through the wind.
Dehya stopped in her tracks and wordlessly you were passed on. Dehya continued running away, and instinctively you reached for her. The man gently pulled your hand down and tucked you into his thick coat until you were completely obstructed from view.
"Keep quiet and don't move."
You nodded and felt him start to walk. You held your breath every time you heard people and footsteps. Though, strangely, every time you walked past someone they seemed to part for him and quiet down. It brought some relief to you but no matter what your heart was thumping against your chest so hard you were terrified if someone got too close they'd hear.
The man was swift and was quick to exit the city gate, it was less than five minutes later that he set you down in a secluded spot.
Your entire body was shaking, your legs hardly letting you stand up.
"Nilou, take them and go to Gandharva ville. Tighnari and Collei will be able to get them to Liyue and from there everything will go smoothly." The man said gravely.
The girl who had appeared from behind a rock nodded, "I'll do my best, Cyno."
"Good." There was no warmth in his voice and the white haired man disappeared back into the city.
The Nilou lady had orange hair and blue eyes, a beautiful combination, as well as a pair of horns on her head. You briefly wondered if she was related to Ganyu but your heart was beating too fast for you to worry about it for too long.
"It's nice to meet you, your grace." She bowed gracefully, "I am Nilou, I wish we had met under better circumstances but it is extremely important that we hurry." She held out her hand and you blindly took it.
She hoisted you up onto her hip and began sprinting. You weren't sure how far you had made it, the terrain unfamiliar to you, but Nilou was growing tired quickly.
You didn't think you were being followed but there were enemies around every turn, people and monsters alike, which made it 10 times harder to get around.
Eventually, Nilou set you down, her breathing ragged and sweat coating her forhead.
"I'm afraid we'll have to walk for the rest of this journey. Or at least until I get my energy back, if that's alright?" She held her hand out once more.
You grabbed it and nodded.
Your eyes wandered aimlessly, wide and searching for a distraction. Your heart had hardly calmed down and you hardly gripped onto Nilou's hand.
"...my name's (Y/n)," You muttered.
Nilou blinked, glancing down at you for a moment. She smiled beautifully, "What a cute name."
You looked up at her, it felt like your head would fall off any moment, "It's nice to meet you...Nilou."
She smiled softly, "It's nice to meet you as well, your grace."
You frowned, a moment of silence passing between you two.
"You can call me (Y/n)..."
Nilou seemed panicked for a moment, "Well I wouldn't want to disrespect you- although... to keep a low profile I suppose it would help..."
You nodded, "It's also weird being called that."
Nilou paused and giggled, such a childish answer bringing her back to the reality that you were a child in both body and mind.
"I understand. Can I ask how old you are, (Y/n)?" She asked in a kind tone and so casually that you could almost pretend you were meeting a new character - or even person - for the first time.
You nodded, "I'm seven." You held up seven fingers to the sky, while still holding Nilou's hand.
"Oh my, that's quite young. How'd you end up in Sumeru?" She asked, genuine curiosity on her face.
"I woke up here! And Dunyarzad found me!"
Nilou hummed, "I see. This must be quite the upsetting introduction to Teyvat." A frown tugged the corners of her lips down, her eyes turning downcast.
You frowned and could feel the hotness of tears tickle the backs of your eyes, "...yeah." You whined, "I don't wanna talk about it." Your voice was barely a whisper but Nilou heard loud and clear the pain in your voice.
"I'm sorry." Was all she said, and you didn't have the energy to lie to her and tell her that it was alright.
"We're almost there." Nilou pointed ahead, "Do you see the taller trees over there? With the buildings built into them and all the vines and buildings hanging from the trees?"
You nodded, "Uh huh." Your heartrate had calmed and there was a wonder sparkling in your eyes instead of fear. It made Nilou sigh with relief.
"That's Gandharva Ville. Where you'll meet Tighnari and Collei." She brought her hand back down to her side, grinning at the wonder glimmering in your eyes.
She giggled as you unconsciously picked up your pace.
You pursed your lips and opened your mouth before you thought about stopping yourself, "Nilou, what am I?"
"Huh?" She jumped at the question.
You looked up at her with eyes so desperate and confused and lost. It made her heart burn and crack.
After a minute of silence she sighed, "You are a god. You control Teyvat and the happenings within it. Your hand is divine and touches every vision wielder within Teyvat. You watch over us and help us with a guiding hand."
She sounded rehearsed, you didn't want to know how many times this had been said.
You looked up at her with quivering lips and watery eyes, "I don't... I don't think I'm a god."
"Oh dear..." Nilou crouched down gracefully beside you, her hands coming up to cup your face and gently wipe your tears with her thumb. "You're only a child. I'm sorry things have to be this way, but you will be treated with the upmost care and gentleness in Liyue. I can guaretee you. In Sumeru though... in Sumeru our archon is not loved by the people, and we do not want that fate befalling you." She cradled your face gently, her expression crinkled in pain and sympathy, "For now, let's focus on getting you into Liyue. I know it's painful and it's so much for you to handle, but do you think you can hold out for just a bit longer?"
You sniffled, but nodded.
She smiled sweetly, "Good."
She wiped the remaining tears from your eyes and stood up. She grabbed your hand and continued her way to Gandharva Ville. The two of you remained in comfortable silence.
Until Nilou noticed that the forest was too quiet... there weren't any people or animals around.
The fact mostly flew over your head but what neither of you could ignore was the smoke filling your nostrils.
Nilou had picked up her pace, her palm already summoning her hydro powers as if on instinct.
But all of it came to a halt when you and her stood in front of what used to be a bridge leading into Gandharva Ville. A weird blue fire lit up the entirety of the forest.
In the center of it all was a certain doctor, uninterestingly glancing around.
Nilou shoved you into nearby shrubbery that hadn't been touched by the fire yet. Her sword, already infused with hydro, appeared in her hand.
Run. She mouthed.
You obeyed without hesitation.
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originalartblog · 1 year
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[Storm Bringer]
You messed with the wrong guy, Verlaine. I know exactly how to deal with someone who can manipulate gravity. Day in and day out, I’ve spent every waking and sleeping moment thinking about how I can annoy Chuuya.
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vasito-de-leche · 1 month
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I actually wonder how upcoming characters such as 37 and 6 would react to knowing such truth (self aware au) considering how much they value and uphold truth, on the other hand, there’s also Kaala Bauna; my take on her is that we’re basically as unreachable as the stars itself. Not the one that Kumar touched, but farther away.
I deffo can't speak on any of the characters from 1.4 yet, but GOD. MS KAALAA BAUNAA
that's such a good take actually, imagine her frustration upon finding out that it doesn't matter whether she uses human or arcanist methods, there's no way for her to even fathom the sort of world that exists beyond the screen. i think it would eat her up from inside out, no matter how strong she tries to be for the sake of others and respecting all the events she's experienced so far, even if they were all pre-determined game cutscenes, but a tiny voice would still cause her to wonder if there's any point in anything anymore. when she looks up at night, she cannot see her beloved night sky anymore, but a barrier that keeps her trapped
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theereina · 11 months
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trainer-sean · 9 months
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Self Aware Au
-Rei/Akari Parent
-actually became a god when pulled into the game
-Arceus basically Adopts you so you are a child of Arceus, and Rei/Akari is Arceus' grandchild
-Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina are irritating and great siblings.
-Rei/Akari are actually Demigods because they biologically became Players Children when he entered the game.
-13 ft. God form-god of domains related to games mechanics
-maybe Kami(japanese gods) ascetic
-maybe Player Adopts Rei/Akari who is Lavington's assistant as well.
-player has deep hatred and malice towards Kamado, Beni, and Volo for their attempts to harm their child(Kamado throws Rei/Akari out of village with the intent of them dying in the wild, Beni attempting to assassinate them(he is a ninja, who shows up to stop you, ninjas only do that with intent to kill!!!!), Volo straight wants to kill them, plus wants to Enslave Players new God Dad, and siblings.)
-Player is prone to flirting with Cylene, Arezu, and Cogita.
-Ingo is Rei/Akari's Uncle figure, Player decides he's a good uncle to them an refers to him as brother.(if it was a streamer Au as well, Gear station would be freaking out about a God referring to Ingo as brother, as well as accepting him as Rei/Akari's Uncle.)
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azlrse · 1 year
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before I go to sleep, I wanna ramble a prompt that I'm planning on working on if I have the motivation to create sum fluffy headcanons/drabble;
TWST!men finding out that their crush had a nesoberi (or any kind of) plush of themselves and often sees that plush on your room by your bed. Huge bonus if it's on a self-aware au and becomes easily jealous because their plush version gets to have the affection you gave them and not the real character themselves 🥹🥹
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[please credit/tag me when you compose a fic/drabble with this imagine!]
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ivemanifest · 6 months
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Journal Prompts To GUIDE You Into Starting Your Own Spiritual Self Help Journey:
What do you want to see change in your life?
Are you truly happy in your life and why?
Is there still places in your life you want to see growth and change?
What calls out to your Soul? What interests you?
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saltymongoose · 2 years
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Lovebug is back!
Size difference is the big idea!A Player who actually likes being smaller than almost everyone in Nevada and uses it to their advantage! What if the player used their smaller, non-threatening-ish appearance to pull enemies into a state of confusion before letting their boys go to town? That was the idea originally. But, then I thought it would also be fun to just have a player who loves being surrounded by powerful people (there is a sprinkle of liking to be intimidated in there as well).
Sure, they may be the most powerful being in Nevada, but if they weren't, most of the people they came across could snap them like a twig. And having their grunts constantly surrounding them is like a dream come true! It makes them feel protected and safe.
(If one of their vessels ever does the lean against the wall thing next to them, they'll pass out.)
Size difference is so much fun to dabble with!
Do you have any favorite size difference headcanons?
I'm sorry if this is long, it's not really an ask. But you write so well! It never ceases to amaze me! You make all of your posts so detailed and I love hearing your opinion on these!
Thank you for all that you do! You're a gift to the fandom!
~Lovebug Anon
Hey there Lovebug Anon <3, it's about time I get around to answering your wonderful prompts. This is a very, very late response (I believe this ask was originally sent around April ((⊙_⊙')) to give everyone an idea), so I sincerely apologize. That being said, thank you for the compliments in this ask, I appreciate your kind words more than you could know. :') ❤️
[SAM:PN] General Height Difference Headcanons ft. Hank, Deimos, Sanford, & 2BDamned
(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior. This is pretty fluffy.)
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It was clear to you from the moment you first met that the height difference between you and your vessels was staggering. They towered over you, no matter how short they would be considered by grunt standards. To their enemies, it only served to make them more intimidating (especially for those like Hank, which were well above the ordinary height typically found in their species).
However, in your eyes, it couldn’t be anything but beneficial. Being as short as you were (compared to them, at least), gave you a clear advantage when it came to being on the battlefield. With your grunts obscuring the view of your enemies, you could rest easy knowing that the likelihood of you actually being targeted when controlling them was very small. Plus, if anyone did see you first, the confusion of being met with such a small form would give your grunts the perfect opportunity to ambush.
Other than this though, there was admittedly some personal enjoyment you took in being surrounded by such tall, powerful people. You couldn't help it; the feeling of absolute comfort and safety you got from being near them and knowing that they wouldn't allow anything bad to happen to you was just unmatched.
Plus, a part of you simply liked how they loomed over you, as odd as it sounded. It's the same one that made you blush when they leaned in close to you, and the one that made your heart quiver in your chest when they wrapped an arm around your body in a casual gesture. They didn't even mean to fluster you when it happened, and truth be told, this made it slightly embarrassing for you. Yet even so, you couldn't stop yourself from reacting this way; you just liked how tall they were compared to you, that is all. (It wasn't exactly a bad thing, anyway.)
Your vessels all have their own thoughts on your height difference though.
Beginning with Hank, he sees height as being a tool for intimidation, and one that’s very easy for him to use specifically. As the tallest of your vessels, he’s aware of the fact that your enemies are more likely to be scared of him just because of how he stands out like this (barring his reputation as Nevada’s most dangerous mass murderer, of course).
Other than this, Hank has very little regard for it. It makes scaring people easier, but it wasn’t something he focused on; such a natural thing that required absolutely no effort from him didn’t deserve such consideration when he was so busy with other, more pressing matters. However, that doesn’t mean he didn’t notice how you reacted to it.
Hank pays more attention to you than anything else, so of course his attention is peaked by the way you blink up at him with soft doe eyes when he leans a bit closer to you, and the flush that appears on your face as his taller form takes up more of your space. He doesn’t know why you act like that at first, and honestly at the moment he doesn’t care to ask that question. Not when he’s too entranced by the way you look, appearing so adorably mystified by his form for whatever reason.
He figures it out soon enough though, and once he does, he grows to appreciate his natural height far more than before. As the tallest, and having the most noticeable height difference with you, it is rather simple for him to elicit these reactions from you, and he finds that he loves doing it.
He’ll try to be around you a lot after that, and as close as he can manage, no matter what the others might think. (Making them jealous was just another bonus for him.) He’ll lean over you and tug you into him, covering your body with his as he purrs and takes in your cute gasps and how your face warms. Instead of simply staying next to you, he’ll be as imposing on your space as is comfortable for you both, seeking to try and accentuate the difference in your height. (Which, again, is very easy. You barely reach his chest, just which makes you more cute in his eyes.)
Another bonus to being the tallest of your vessels is that it makes him the best candidate for your main protector, at least in Hank's view. He's technically the person in the best position to protect you from view and shield you from harm, simply because he's so much bigger than you. If anything, this further proves that he was made to be yours, and to be your only necessary vessel. With how much you seemed to like your height difference, and how he was made better at protecting you because of it (far more than anyone else), it was only common sense.
On the other hand, Deimos likely didn’t notice your reactions to his height at first, but it was purely because he was too busy fawning over how short you are compared to him. He was the last on the list of your vessels in terms of height, and while he certainly wasn’t insecure about it, he was pretty happy to experience what it was like to have someone smaller than him in almost every way. The fact that it was you made it all the more special, though.
Deimos is the first to actually tease you over your height difference, but in a purely joking kind of way. He’ll rest an elbow on your head or quickly put something you need on a higher shelf before you come into the room, just so he can be the first to offer you help. Verbal teases are to be expected as well, mainly asking if you need help reaching something when you clearly don’t, or calling you "shawty" (because he heard you say that word once, and of course he'd repeat it afterward).
Once he actually notices how you react when he leans in close to tell you a joke or give you a side-hug, his teases take another direction. Simple jokes turn become more pointed; instead of just mentioning your height in a joking way, it's the difference between you that he'll seek to exploit - and not for mere humor anymore.
So he'll lean a bit closer than you both know is necessary, rest a bit more of his body on you when he gives you an embrace, and linger like that for longer than what would be normal. In addition to this, he also already knows how much you like his voice too, so he decides to see what’ll happen if he combines these two factors. 
It’s honestly kind of overwhelming for you; having him suddenly get into your personal space when you're doing something simple like making yourself a meal, boxing you in with his arms and leaning some of his weight on you. His body heat is almost dizzying, and it certainly doesn't help the rushing pace of your heart when he comes even closer, so you can feel his breath against you when he purrs an innocent question about what you're doing (though it's followed by a petname rasped lowly into your ear).
Perhaps it's playing dirty since he's deliberately using something you can't help liking against you, and honestly, a part of him considers holding back on it. (He loves flustering you like this, but he wouldn't want to overstep and make you uncomfortable instead.) And he would, if you didn't lean back into him when he did it, sometimes even burying your face into his chest to try and hide your blushing face from him (which is just adorable to him). You seem to like these little moments, and of course he does, so why would he stop?
If anything, the fact that he can elicit such reactions with the combination of his height and smooth voice (something that he sees as unique to himself) is just another tool he can use to get you to fall for him. All so that you'll love him and his company just as much as he loves yours.
Sanford is another one who noticed how you get when he’s close, but at first, he didn’t think it was because you liked his height of all things. In all honesty, he probably just thought that the fact that he’s always shirtless is what flusters you so much since nobody else in your group shows off as much skin as he does. Then he takes note of how you react when any of them get into close contact with you and it clicks.
He’s actually above average in height from grunt standards, but it’s not something he pays much attention to. Sure, other prospective partners have mentioned it in the past, but as weird as it sounds, no one's opinion on him has mattered as much as yours does, so he’s honestly very flattered. It makes him pretty bashful too; he knows his musculature makes him stand out more than anything, but having the person he adores fawn over something so minuscule to him must be a good sign for your impending relationship, right?
Getting close to you and showing off his strength through carrying you are things that he does quite a lot, even before figuring out how much you like your height difference. As such, you've just incentivized him to do it more often. After all, if you enjoy having the height difference between you both made to be really noticeable, then there's no reason for him not to.
Sanford also finds the way you look when he does it to be really cute; you appear so small compared to him when you're being held to his body, all cozy and safe in his toned arms. Your face is flushed, and he can feel your breath hitch when he adjusts you in his grip, your fingers flexing from where they're rested on his shoulder and chest.
He worries that he overdoes it sometimes, since you both know that picking you up as much as he does is pretty unnecessary (like those few times he just elected to do it instead of getting something off a shelf for you). You don't mention it though, just content to lean into his embraces with a crooked smile, sighing happily even as your face heats. Sanford hopes the way his heartbeat picks up isn't too noticeable. (It's not like he can care that much though, not when he dares to squeeze you to him a bit tighter and you relax even more in his hold.)
Sanford eventually finds that he also quite likes the difference you have (perhaps even a bit too much, in his mind). You’re usually too flustered to notice, but when you do, it’s impossible to ignore the way scarlet colors his cheeks and dusts his torso when you find yourself in his personal space (even if he's trying to keep his face impassive as usual). It's cute, for someone who's famous for such unsavory things.
The height difference also makes a deeper feeling of protectiveness surge up in him. You might be one of the most powerful beings in Nevada, but you just look so small and fragile compared to grunts. Sanford was already dedicated to defending you at every turn, but this just makes it more important for him in a way (if that were even possible). He wants you to rely on him as your protector, and what better way to do that than showing off his strength and how he can use his more imposing stature for your benefit?
He's always been yours to control; always ready and willing to give anything and everything of himself just for you and your favor, all with the hopes of you returning these deep affections he holds. So why not just use him and him alone?
With 2BDamned, his fascination with your height difference first comes from a purely clinical perspective. He’s been interested in human anatomy since your existence first became known to him, and wants to learn all that he can in regards to anything related to it. (How would he be competent at taking care of you if he didn’t know anything about your species?)
As such, he’ll view it as another opportunity to ask about the differences between you. Are you considered tall or short according to your species’ average? Why are humans so short compared to grunts? Are there any advantages to humans being so small? Questions like these are his main focus, and in addition to this, the fact that humans are so small will also make him more concerned for your well-being when out in the field.
(Sanford, Deimos, and Hank are becoming quite annoyed at how often he checks in through their comms to see if you're alright. What did he think they were, 1337 Agents? Of course you were okay, you had them.)
Considering how he spends less time around you than the others (when you’re not back at the base, that is), he doesn’t have as many opportunities to really look at his own height difference with you. Nor does he take much notice of how you might react to it as a result, which holds off his realization of it.
This changes with the first of his rushed “examinations” on you, after you happened to get a bit scratched up while on a mission with the others. He was standing very close to you, hands darting over your body as he carefully moved your limbs around, checking for bruising and bleeding while harshly lecturing your three main vessels.
Doc first thought the color on your face and the heat that seeped through his gloves when he touched your face was from exertion or pain, a sign of an injury that he might’ve missed. That's until he notices that it only gets worse when he comes closer to inspect you further, inadvertently looming over you as he leans down to get closer to your face. It only hits him when you avert your eyes from him shyly, lips drawing into a small pout as you try to hide the full extent of your blush from him. (It's embarrassing, all he's doing is checking you over for injuries.)
He seemed to pause for a split second when he noticed but quickly got back into ranting towards the others about their "neglect" of you, trying to ignore the way he could feel a smile spreading across his face underneath his mask. So that's why you're so flushed around them.
Doc is very tempted to see how far he can go with it, to view just how you react to the different ways he can show off his height difference with you. But he doesn't. Or rather, he won’t go to the same lengths that others would; he's confident enough in himself, generally speaking, but the uncertainty he feels regarding how to go about bonding with you will hold him back from going all out (as much as he'd like to).
That doesn’t mean that he won’t stand a little bit nearer to you, or stay for a few seconds too long when he needs to lean over you to reach something - perhaps even take a leaf from Deimos' book and say something to you in that smooth voice of his when he's so close - but anything beyond that is unlikely. (Unless driven as a direct reaction to one of the others pulling something, of course).
It's a more subtle build-up with him, but that's how he prefers to show his love to you anyway. The last thing he'd want to do is rush in impulsively and foolishly ruin things between you, especially after that unfortunate first impression he made. Besides, 2BDamned has always been incredibly patient, and you'd be worth an eternity of pining while he decides on what actions to take. So long as he can prove himself good enough to you in the end, worthy of your love and praise, he'd be willing.
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sleepyprompts · 10 months
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Prompt #1039
“I just become increasingly more shameless when you’re around.”
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outcasting101 · 7 months
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SELF-AWARE AU: Y / N
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".....Y/N....."
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highpriestessarchives · 5 months
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Shadow Work Prompt: A Binding Past
tarot cards: the devil, queen of swords, six of cups, queen of pentacles, three of cups
channeled by the Moirai
Explore how your past influences and binds you, as well as how to use clarity, practicality, and nurturing qualities to approach these influences. Reflect on any addictive or limiting patterns that have roots in your history. How can you confront these patterns with a clear and rational mindset while taking a compassionate and grounded approach to ultimately find unity and celebration within yourself?
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antilocaprine · 1 year
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I got an anon ask that wondered if I had any plans to continue this prompt fill, which is an AU of my already-an-AU Among Us/HLVRAI crossover Some Stars Are Not Enough. This is the result. (You don’t have to read Some Stars to get this, but you should read the prompt fill linked above, since this picks up right where that leaves off.)
45% Chance
The ship groans around Benrey as he sprints through the corridors. This time, he’s literally going through them - with no humans left on the ship, he’s free to clip through the structure. It slows him down a touch, since he needs to make sure nothing is exposed to the vacuum of space before he steps into it, but he’s got all his senses flared out like a net, his form warping into a dish-like shape with limbs in order to catch all the information he can get before he reaches the lab and the spacewalking suits.
Something cracks on the other side of the bulkhead he was just about to cross into and he jukes to the right, pounding through several hissing pipes and another bulkhead. He stumbles out into the lab and steps sideways to get himself free of the bed he’d walked into. Casting a frantic glance around, he lunges for the spacesuits and wrenches them out of their cabinet, breaking the door lock so he can pull them free. 
The lock floats by his face and he pauses to stare at it, then at the rest of the room. The lab is a mess of floating jars and colorful liquids that are coalescing into wobbly balls, drifting aimlessly through the air. The gravity is failing, and that means the second reactor is close to failing, too. Benrey moves faster.
There isn’t enough time to try to rig the suits together. Benrey jams himself into the biggest one, which will allow him to keep his own suit on with its auxiliary oxygen pack. However, that means he’s down to two arms and two legs - the spacewalking suits weren’t designed to change with him.
The screaming alarms rise in pitch and distort, then fall silent with a strangled chime. Benrey whips his head around and listens. There is a faint whine coming from the rear of the ship, which is now below him - he had to brace himself against the wall to get into the suit in the failing gravity. The reactor is going, and he’s running out of time.
He’s not really sure what his plan was beyond this. He’s in a suit that will give him four hours of oxygen on top of the two hours of oxygen his own everyday suit contains. (The people who sent them on this mission - the humans, not the Supervisors - figured if something in the ship broke and they lost oxygen for over two hours, it wasn’t going to be fixed. Why waste resources?) Benrey’s own, ahem, unique physiology means that he can use the same amount of oxygen for about twice as long as a human. It’s still probably not going to be enough.
The ship groans in protest of what’s happening to it. Benrey feels a bit bad - it’s not the ship’s fault it was chosen for a mission that was doomed to fail. They’re all just playing pieces in a bigger game that none of them know the rules to. It’s not fair - but what is?
Gordon’s shocked face flashes through Benrey’s mind, and he takes a sharp breath. He shouldn’t leave it like that. If there’s any way to get back to them - 
Probably not quite a 45% chance, now. Maybe 20%, at least? Benrey’s not great at calculations, but he can probably swing 20%.
The ship screams and something wrenches. Suddenly, half of it falls quiet.
“Hull breach,” Benrey hisses. “Fuck.”
He shoves the huge spacewalking helmet between his legs, locking his ankles around it. Upside down in the far corner of the lab, he pulls his torso out of the spacewalking suit and shoves more arms out, catching the walls and ripping them free. Rivets ping loose and tumble through the air as Benrey curls the walls around himself. He doesn’t need a lot of room - just enough space to keep all the suits folded inside with their fresh caches of oxygen. The tricky part will be getting a solid enough seal to maintain the atmosphere with no gaskets and no external bulkheads.
Unless…Benrey glances up through the narrowing space above his head. If he can reach the right wall panel, then maybe he could get a secondary layer. He’ll have to move quickly, though. Already he can hear cracks forming in the nearby bulkheads.
The vacuum is closing in.
 *   *   *
“Dad? Shouldn’t you put your helmet back on?”
Joshua’s voice is shaky, and Gordon snaps back to himself. He’d been floating away, his eyes on the porthole window of the escape pod that is rocketing away from the stricken spaceship.
“Yeah - yes, right.” He shoves the helmet back on and engages the locks with a hiss. Then his eyes flick to the control panel and he curses. 45% oxygen? That must be what Benrey saw, what made him back out. Just Gordon and Joshua will be okay, but adding another adult would have shortened their conscious time by a potentially lethal amount.
“Is Benrey gonna be okay?”
The pod is traveling on a surprisingly straight path, and Gordon can still see the ship. The pod must be rotating - or the ship is, because it’s tilting nose-down in the porthole view. He finds himself thinking about terrestrial ships sinking at sea.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Gordon reassures his son, though his voice is strangled.
He feels like he’s going insane. Benrey kissed him. What the fuck?
“Oh. Okay.” Josh looks around, but the jumpseat harness keeps him from moving too much. “Where’re we going?”
Gordon glances back at the control screen. “The pods are all - uh, they’re programmed to rendezvous with each other to form a raft. Then they’ll send out a distress signal, and someone will pick us up.”
“Okay.” Josh kicks his feet. “Um. How long?”
“It depends, buddy. Might be in ten minutes or two hours, or tomorrow.” Or a week, but Gordon isn’t going to mention that. Hopefully someone had gotten off a long-range distress signal from the ship’s transmitter while he and Joshie were locked in the stargazing room. Otherwise they’ll be at the mercy of interplanetary shipping schedules. All the planet-to-planet people transfers are limited to once a month, and they certainly don’t have enough air to hold out that long.
“Okay,” Joshua says, sounding preoccupied.
Gordon knows that tone. He tilts his helmet against the shoulder harness to look over at his kid. “You have to go to the bathroom, don’t you?”
Joshua nods. 
Gordon sighs and checks the control panel. “Can you hold it for ten more minutes? We’re supposed to dock with the rest of the raft then, and after that you can get up and use the cubicle.”
“Can I go now?”
“No. If we get knocked around by something you could get hurt.”
“Okay,” Joshie sighs, and Gordon stretches himself up to peer back at the ship, now inverted in the pod’s window.
It looks…weird. Some sort of vapor is coming off the snout, and it’s tilting away from the wispy trail.
Gordon breathes in sharply through his nose. That’s atmosphere. The ship is venting atmosphere, which means there’s a hull breach, which means -
“Shit,” he swears under his breath.
“Huh?”
“Nothing!”
Joshua seems like he’s ready to protest, but Gordon holds a hand up. “I’m - watching the numbers, okay?”
Apparently that sounds boring enough to satisfy Joshua, and he ducks his chin and pats his legs in an off-kilter drumbeat.
Through the window, the ship cracks in half. 
Gordon’s muscles are so tense his vision is starting to darken around the edges. His heartbeat is pounding in his ears, and he forces himself to breathe steadily as he watches the front half of the ship droop, then disconnect from the back half. A burst of debris is expelled from what must be the cargo hold - Gordon clinically picks out chairs, gas cans, crates, and tables.
He doesn’t see another pod. He’s not sure there were any left. Benrey was bunking with Tommy, and Tommy’s pod is blinking in the image of the raft on the control panel, so that means that, unless someone else hopped into that pod and left their own, Benrey’s trapped on the dying ship.
He must have a plan, Gordon’s sure of it. He must. There’s no way he would have sent Gordon and Joshua away without having a plan - right?
But he’d kissed Gordon. And it felt like a goodbye. It feels more and more like a goodbye with every passing second, as Gordon watches the field of debris expand into the vacuum of space. 
“Dad, can I -”
Gordon can’t pay attention to what Joshua says, because at that moment, the ship explodes.
It should make noise, he finds himself thinking wildly. It should be making a sound, or there should be a shockwave that hits the pod and sends it spinning. But this is the void of space, and all there is is a bloom of terrible light that obscures the intact rear half of the ship. When it clears - fire can’t live without oxygen - the entire stern of the ship is so much blackened debris, scattered chunks of bulkhead tumbling away in all directions. Without air resistance, their momentum will keep them going practically forever. Maybe someday, one of them will end up crashing through the atmosphere of the planet the ship came from. Maybe someday, some tiny remnant of their vessel will find its way home.
The pod’s transmitter crackles with static. “...Freeman! Mr. Freeman? Can you hear me? Mr. Freeman, come in!”
Gordon reaches out and hits the transponder button with numb fingers. “I can hear you, Tommy,” he says, voice hollow. “Can you see -”
He can’t finish, but luckily Tommy doesn’t need him to. “We saw it. You’ll connect, um, you’ll be docking with us in just a second.”
Sure enough, a heavy clunk sounds through the bulkhead behind Gordon’s jumpseat, and the whole pod shudders. Some sense of motion that he hadn’t even noticed ceases. He twists his head around, but he can’t see past the helmet, and there’s no window back there, anyway. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He doesn’t know what to think.
“Fucking finally,” Forzen’s voice snaps through the static. “What took you so long?”
“We were trapped,” Gordon rasps. “On the observation deck. The doors locked on us.”
Several voices clamor at that, but Gordon can’t pick any of them out.
“Dad!” Joshua whispers. “Can I go to the bathroom?”
“Yeah - yeah, go ahead.” Gordon unclips his own harness at the same time as Joshie does, but he kicks away from the jumpseat and plasters himself against the window.
In the distance, the ship continues to drift apart.
Tommy’s voice cuts through the chaos. “Mr. Freeman, is Benrey with you? He’s not showing up on the scans.”
Gordon swallows. “No,” he chokes out, then stops. What else can he say? They already know he’s not with any of the others.
“Oh,” Tommy replies, and then he, too, falls silent.
“So…maybe he’s the one who sabotaged the ship,” Forzen says after a moment, and Gordon’s vision whites out. Luckily, several other voices are jumping to Benrey’s defense, Dr. Coomer and Bubby flinging curses over the channel and Darnold’s voice trying to call for calm.
“It wasn’t him.” When Tommy speaks, the others go quiet. “One person couldn’t do that. Watch - look at it! It was broken from the start.”
The others go quiet, and Gordon’s throat is hot and thick with grief and fury as he looks at the desolation. Benrey was supposed to get out of that. How could he just kiss Gordon, push him away, and then - and then die?
How dare he?
“I got a signal out before the, um, the ship’s communications went down,” Tommy continues. “My - um, I mean, we should be getting picked up soon.”
“How soon is soon, my dear Tommy?” Dr. Coomer’s normally jovial voice is tight.
“Um, really soon.”
Light blooms across the pod window again, and Gordon flinches back, squinting into the glare. This isn’t the dirty yellow-orange glow of an explosion - this is the clean white light of a spaceship.
“Is that a courier?” Forzen’s tone is disbelieving. “Is that a fucking courier? Who the fuck heard you and has the clearance to re-route a fucking courier -”
His voice cuts out with a screech of static. 
Please stand by, the courier says in a gentle voice. You will be relocated shortly.
“Dad?” Joshie has finally emerged from the tiny restroom cubicle, and pulls himself along the wall to reach Gordon. “Who’s that?”
“It’s a courier,” Gordon says blankly. “They’re - living ships, with a mind and everything. They’re the fastest commercial vessel in the quadrant.”
Joshua peers through the window at Gordon’s shoulder and gasps. “Is that our ship?”
“Um-”
“But where’s Benrey?” Joshie twists around to look up at Gordon in distress and ends up knocking himself loose from the wall. Gordon catches him as he floats by upside down. Zero-G is weird. “He was supposed to follow us - you’re supposed to get married!”
“What?” Gordon sputters, completely derailed.
“He kissed you, so he has to marry you!”
“He did WHAT?!” Several voices shout in unison from the control panel.
“Fuck,” Gordon swears vehemently. He’d thought the courier had cut them off, but apparently it had just overriden their speakers for a moment. “Uh - nothing! It’s not - it doesn’t…matter.”
He clenches his teeth and listens to the others yelling at him. 
“Is Benrey okay?” Joshua whispers.
Gordon bites the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know,” he says quietly, even though he does know. No one could have survived that explosion. Hell, he’d probably been killed when the ship broke in half and started venting atmosphere. 
He’s probably been killed.
The pod shudders, and Gordon’s boots hit the floor with a clank. He curses and stumbles, juggling a suddenly-heavy Joshua, and they both nearly fall before the gravity slips and they tumble weightlessly up into the air again.
My apologies, the courier says calmly. Please be seated for relocation.
“Shit - sorry! Let’s strap in, Joshie.” Gordon kicks off the wall and fumbles them both into their jumpseats, fastening Joshie’s harness, then his own. He looks over at the control screen to see that the raft of pods has detached and is rising in a steady line into the bright spot of the courier above them. 
Are you fully secured? The courier sounds slightly tetchy. 
“Yes - sorry, yes, we’re strapped in,” Gordon replies, and the weightless feeling disappears as the courier pulls them into line. On the control screen, Gordon can see the first two pods already vanishing into the courier’s cargo hold.
Thank you, the courier replies blandly. Gordon catches a glimpse of the vessel’s hull as the pod passes by, and it is just as sleek and white as the advertisements make it seem. Then the hold encases them and his view of space is cut off by the darkness of the ship’s interior.
The pod slows, then settles with a clank as some sort of mag-locks catch it with a hum. The view outside the window spins, then flips, and then Gordon can see two other pods facing him across the open hold.
Please remain seated and secured while retrieval continues, the courier says.
“Continues? Who’s missing?” Tommy asks. “Mr. Freeman?”
“We’re here,” Gordon replies. One by one, the rest of the crew responds.
There is one more signal to retrieve, the courier says.
Gordon freezes. “Who is it? Can you hear -”
One moment, please, while the signal is boosted. The courier sounds tired already.
Static buzzes, then resolves into the monotone beeping of a spacewalking suit’s emergency beacon. 
“No fucking way,” Forzen growls, but even his bad attitude isn’t enough to keep Gordon’s heart from lifting in his chest. 
The beeping stops. And now that Gordon thinks about it, it hadn’t sounded like an actual machine beeping so much as someone saying “beep beep” in the same tone as the emergency beacon.
He takes a breath, and hopes. “Benrey? Is that you? Can - can you hear me?”
“Uh…beep…beep…nope…beep…”
Gordon laughs in disbelief. “I heard that! Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?”
Fifty-three meters and closing, the courier says. Then it says, What is THAT?
“Uh…I’m fine, I'm in a burrito. Beep.”
“You don’t have to keep saying ‘beep,’ you idiot, we can hear you,” Bubby bursts in.
“Oh hey, cool, everyone’s here.”
“What happened to you?” Bubby snaps. “The ship blew up!”
“Yeah,” Benrey hums. “That was…kinda sucks.”
Stand by for relocation, the courier says.
“Can’t really stand, bro,” Benrey replies over the comms. “There’s, uh…no gravity out here.”
Please be secured for relocation, the courier tries.
“Yeah, this, uh, burritos’s not very secure.”
“Why the fuck do you keep saying you’re in a burrito?” Gordon laughs. Just hearing Benrey’s voice is filling his chest with bubbles.
“It’s a metal burrito,” Benrey replies, as if that’s supposed to make any sense.
The courier apparently gives up. Just don’t move, it tells him.
“Sure,” Benrey says easily. “No controls on this thing.”
The object that rises into the hold a few moments later defies explanation. It’s a long cylinder of metal that’s rolled up and twisted around itself at least twice like some sort of giant soot-smeared pirouette cookie. One end is blown open like a cartoon cigar, and it’s from that end that a battered spacewalking helmet pops out.
“You look like a weasel in a cardboard tube,” Bubby says.
“Thanks,” Benrey mumbles over the comms, and attempts to pull himself free.
What are you doing? the courier says sharply. Remain seated - remain still - stop MOVING.
“Kinda busy,” Benrey says as his makeshift pod spins. The spacewalking suits have darkened helms, but Gordon can see his head turning as he peers at each pod. “Where’s Freeman?”
“Over here!” Joshie bounces up in front of Gordon to wave through the porthole, and Gordon yelps and swipes his kid out of the air.
Can none of you follow orders? the courier asks in apparent exasperation as it closes its hull doors.
“Not - not really,” Tommy replies. The courier sends a burst of static over the comms in a machine version of a sigh. 
Pressurizing atmosphere, the courier says, then it says, Seal lock. Atmosphere present. Gravity is not available at this time. For your safety, please remain seated.
“Fuck that,” Benrey mutters, half-out of his handmade pod and spinning around upside down. He seems to be hung up on the bulky spacewalking oxygen tanks.
Yeah, Gordon agrees. Fuck that. He plonks Joshua down into his own seat and straps him in. “Stay here, okay? I’ll be back when it’s safe to grab you.”
Joshua tries to protest, but Gordon is already keying in the sequence to check the outside conditions and open the pod door. The pod seems to open almost sulkily, and Gordon tumbles out and kicks off the hull in a trajectory he hopes will send him colliding with Benrey.
He almost misses, but Benrey flings out an arm and Gordon snags the oversized spacewalking suit’s glove. They spin together and smack into each other, and Gordon kicks his feet down and engages the mag-locks on his heels, slamming his boot soles onto the floor of the hull.
Someone is applauding on the comms, but Gordon isn’t listening. He needs to see Benrey’s face. He frees one hand to wrestle at the clasps of the spacewalk suit’s neck, popping them loose with a series of clicks. Once it’s free, he bats it away and it tumbles lazily through the air, fetching up against one of the pod windows.
“Hey, I can’t see!” Forzen barks.
Benrey’s eyes are golden, with a red ring around the outside of the pupil, and they glow. Gordon always figured it was just a bodymod, but now he wonders. The explosion certainly couldn’t have rolled this sheet of metal up so neatly. And Benrey had talked about “humans” like he wasn’t one.
“Hey,” Benrey smiles lazily, sticking sideways out of his horizontal tube. He reaches out with the massive, clunky spacewalk glove and taps at Gordon’s helmet. “Off, please?”
Gordon pulls Benrey’s other hand down and fastens it to his waist so he can reach up with both hands and pull his helmet off. He feels his hair float up behind him, and Benrey’s grin widens, his glowing eyes crinkling at the corners. He wiggles and pulls his free hand out of the heavy exo-suit’s shoulders to flick his own visor up so he can lean forward, but Gordon is already pushing in to meet his lips.
This time, he closes his eyes and kisses back. This time, he savors the touch of Benrey’s chapped lips, feels the rush of air against his cheek as Benrey inhales sharply through his nose and presses harder into the kiss.
The comms are a cacophony of whistling and clapping, cut through with Forzen complaining that his view is still blocked and asking for someone to describe what’s happening. Gordon leans back and opens his eyes. Benrey looks concussed, slowly rotating in his “burrito” until he is nearly vertical, with his head facing down. Gordon snorts and pulls his helmet back on.
Please do not engage in dramatic emotional moments in my hold, the courier says. Save that for the private rooms.
Benrey blinks several times. “You, uh, have private rooms?”
Of course. 
“Can I, uh, request - oh, hey, where are you going?”
Gordon had started to pull away, but Benrey tugs him back with the grip on his waist. Gordon is suddenly very angry again.
“I’m going to get my kid, Benrey, so he can see that you’re alive. The ship blew up, dude! We thought - I thought you’d died.” His voice cracks awkwardly. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Bubby squeeze out of his own pod, muttering something about claustrophobia. Dr. Coomer soon follows, and Darnold joins them with a sigh, tapping something into his wrist panel.
“Oh…well, I’m okay, see?” Benrey spreads his arms, then has to grab Gordon’s waist again to keep from rotating away.
Gordon reaches out and smacks his shoulder, hard enough to knock him loose. “You’re an asshole,” he snaps. “What the fuck was your plan?”
Benrey’s makeshift pod bounces off the ceiling and starts to descend again. “Oh…you know.” He pulls both arms out of the exo-suit and wiggles himself free, kicking off from the metal tube, which flies like a javelin straight at Dr. Coomer. Dr. Coomer catches it and flings it away, where it slams into Forzen’s pod just as the door opens, knocking him back inside with an inarticulate curse.
“No, I don’t know, dude,” Gordon growls. “Enlighten me.”
Very suddenly, Benrey is in front of Gordon, both hands on his helmet. Gordon’s own hands snap up to keep him from pulling it off - but he’s not doing that. He’s holding down the comm button, which means they’re on a private, proximity-based channel.
Benrey leans in close, golden eyes flashing intensely. The red ring around the outside seems to be growing. “The plan was to keep you alive,” he says quietly. “Mission fucking accomplished, huh?”
Then he presses a smacking kiss against the curve of Gordon’s helmet and flicks his visor back down, pushing away from Gordon and corkscrewing through the air with a shout of “TOMMY! Did you see that explosion? Fucking sick, right?”
Please be warned that this hold is equipped with liquid water hoses, if their use becomes necessary, the courier says pleasantly. 
“Uh - sorry,” Gordon waves a hand. “Won’t happen again.”
Please refrain from lying, the courier says.
Gordon ducks his head and clomps across the hold, heading back to his pod so he can release his child, who will probably immediately attach himself to Benrey and ignore Gordon for the rest of the cycle. He can’t win.
But then again…
He pauses and glances up at Benrey and Sunkist spiraling around each other, the giant dog apparently perfectly accustomed to moving in zero-G. The other crew members stand or float below, commiserating and complaining, but miraculously alive.
Then again, maybe he’s already won.
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vasito-de-leche · 27 days
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Oh my gooood
Hi! I was searching for r1999 crumbs and then i saw your self aware au and I'm OBSESSED
AND IT'S NOT WORSHIPPING THE PLAYER THANK YOU.
If you ever plan to make more self aware r1999 please tag me😔✌️ your writing is just amazing and i also got a couple of ideas!
What would they think and react whenever the characters die in battle? Like, I feel like for them, it would feel like a nightmare or as if they were put into a void and was revived after the match ended
And they got curious if it also applies whenever the player is offline, that I don't know how it'll work but vertin will probably stop them
And you know how sharpodonties are their currencies so imagine their surprise when the player gets like hundreds to thousands per day
I think that's the last of my ideas but I'll come by if I get any new ones! Looking forward to your works, 🫶
oh, hello! glad you like the AU and my writing!
I've seen some people praise me in the tags and all for not making the characters worship the player, so I feel like I gotta confess that the AU was partially an excuse to start writing deranged fics of my favorite characters becoming obsessed with the player lolol
and again, I don't have big plans for this AU, it's not something I even consider to be "mine", it's more of a fun concept for everyone to play with. make your own posts about it, go wild! all these ideas you've shared so far sound so interesting!!
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theereina · 11 months
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