#projecting but like imagine him struggling to sing and play guitar at the same time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sugar-petals · 3 years

Text

SuperM Fluff & NSFW Notes

↳ 🌹aka some of their romantic antics plus random 18+ imagines 👋

warnings ⚠️ rated (super) m, boyfriends hc, porn mentions, partial fem!reader, sex toys

FLUFF

since baekhyun knows how to make scented candles, he creates one for you as a birthday present with your favorite fragrances.

every entry in mark’s diary involves fond thoughts about you.

taemin kisses you more than his cat kkoongie on a daily basis so let that sink in. his smooch obsession is getting out of hand.

lucas, having giant fingers after all, learns how to knit in order to make you a warm scarf. he’s still a bit clumsy with it and had to call kun for advice, but the result is surprisingly proper and quickly becomes your favorite item. it’s a little huge but well, he thinks in his dimensions. lucas’ next project is a beanie.

ten overwhelms you with pet names. in fact, he seemingly seems to come up with a new one each day.

kai is a candlelight dinner, rose petals and music kinda guy. he does every old-school thing in the book.

taeyong can cuddle endlessly in bed. he just doesn’t wanna leave.

lucas gladly shares his sweaters. they’re ginormous so, perfect cuddle material.

baekhyun is already a fool. so — when he falls in love, he becomes an even bigger fool. or, the contrary happens: he becomes dead silent around his partner because he’s so enthralled. he can take this more seriously than you think.

mark likes to write little cards and many many texts to express his love.

lucas is the type who can help you put on your jeans when they were shrinking a bit too much in the dryer. he’s pretty sexy like that and things can get really touchy.

cheesy fucking kai, and there’s only one guy who would do this, has actually lowered himself over a puddle once so you would have a bridge. brushed it off like a daily workout rep.

not one shower missed without baekhyun joining you. yes, it’s not always sexy time, he likes it when you shampoo his hair and whisper sweet nothings. and obviously: it’ll all devolve to a laughing fit.

taeyong is the type who wants to be proposed to.

taemin will get a motorcycle license and take you for a frequent ride. he loves getting those kind of back hugs.

both ten and lucas are great at making bracelets. wayv’s dorm is fully equipped with charms, strings, and pearls, so expect matching ones for you.

we’ve seen it, that one’s his favorite move. kai wraps his hand around your shoulder when you walk together.

mark will ALWAYS share his melon.

making you swoon on a DVD evening is lucas’ favorite hobby. he will buy you the most sugary-sweet romance movies. he will often browse streaming sites to select the latest sentimental plots. all these dramas seem to have a male lead who is suspiciously tall and lanky.

if you allow him, taeyong customizes your white tees with his cute drawings.

since taemin swims in money thanks to his profession as the god of kpop (yes, this is a registered job name because i say so), he can fulfill you any wish. he’s stingy and pouty when the shinee hyungs can pay, and the motherfucker baekhyun is even richer since his albums have been taking off so he opens his mochi wallet when superm is gathered, but you... are a different case. taemin will humbly empty his entire pockets when he overhears you gushing over something. there’s a voice in his mind going: must splurge!!

mark loves christmas, you establish an annual tradition to stage a whole couple evening.

baekhyun likes to play charades and especially do karaoke with you. he’s always cutely wiggling his butt and dances like a drunk uncle. he hits the high notes anyway and makes sure you score 100 points.

taeyong can make out with you while at the same time making sure that the milk doesn’t get burned on the stove. kiss’n’stirr multitask tyong alert. gotta make sure the cocoa is served in time, you know.

all the members enjoy playing board games. yep, imagine the fun and sheer chaos.

lucas has the funniest laugh ever indeed. he’ll react to all your jokes, no matter how lame they might be. intensely reassuring.

taemin’s hand is basically glued to yours.

taeyong and mark are the kinds of boyfriends that spoil their partner with skincare. fancy a nice face massage with a nice fragrant oil?

baekhyun has been baking heart-shaped pizzas ever since you started dating. he just can’t make them round anymore.

mark will join you on anything you’re currently bingewatching.

kai sometimes — only half-jokingly — goes down on both knees bowing forward with his hands on the ground just to show how much he wants to thank you. in case you didn’t notice: this guy treats you like a deity.

ten usually gets confused glances from the other members whenever he gets the current date wrong: he simply loses track of time with you.

lucas makes a habit of buying you flowers every other week. but on unpredictable occasions, and he arranges them in places you’d never expect.

taemin will build you a weird-looking snowman to make you laugh, and give it an even stranger name. ten will build one that looks like you. kai doesn’t build snowmen, he just stands there challenging you to throw snow balls at him.

mark will hang out with you at the beach constantly bringing his guitar. he’ll serenade you all the time.

returning from three months of touring, baekhyun has once climbed your balcony when your parents were in the other room. yep, he was that desperate to see you. somebody give this man a rope and helmet.

taeyong writes down heartfelt confessions on 365 folded slips of paper so you can open one every day. your reactions will range from ‘awwh!’ to straight-up tears.

ten does regular couple yoga with you. a mildly challenging form, not the circus acrobat version. he’ll do the difficult parts anyway. you can pretzel this guy up, he’ll do anything to make you laugh.

when it rains you hook your arm around his, and lucas always holds the umbrella. even the wildest gush of wind can’t make it turn inside out. you arrive home entirely dry. xuxi is so cute, he’s also a great source of cooling shadow in the summer without even trying.

taemin’s skinship overdrive doesn’t stop with endless hand-holding, back hugs and kisses. he wants to lay down in your lap whenever he can. he looks damn pretty with his hair splaying there. if you work on your laptop, you can pretty much count to ten and he’s already nestled there.

kai does pushups with you on his back. it’s a staple. each time he does one, he says ‘i love you’. he increases his count every day.

NSFW

it’s no secret that taeyong is great at acting or pulling off any outfit and costume. expect roleplay of the finest kind — literally. he looks good in a firefighter uniform. you’ll be burning up pretty much automatically.

taemin can’t keep his tongue in. it’s terrible. he’s always in the mood for head. his sloppy noises are the absolute worst, it turns you on way too fast.

lucas had some major problems finding condoms that fit him.

ten and taemin are so switchy, they have an unresolved power struggle going on. begs for a dominant third party to help them out.

kai owns expensive latex gear.

baekhyun may be the king of vocals and breath technique, but if you push him far enough he does get hoarse.

taemin often jokes how kai will one day break his dick from fucking too hard.

meanwhile, mark’s dick is already falling off – from fucking too often. this guy has some major hormones going for him. no surprise, a guy who can promote in four kpop groups at the same time is a stamina king.

taeyong likes eating pussy with another party involved. three’s a crowd my friend. sometimes it’s taemin who unleashes his spit waterfall power, sometimes it’s baekhyun who preoccupies himself with nibbling at the inner thigh while taeyong digs in.

taemin owns the most underwear.

mark takes valerian drops because he is so nervous in bed. it never really goes away, it’s his nature.

taeyong keeps a lube collection. a different flavor for all occasions. he likes associating certain scents with specific body parts.

kai has a heels kink. he literally goes wild over it.

taemin likes to have sex with favorite glasses on.

taeyong and kai are the most likely to cry during sex. baekhyun as well if you rough him up enough.

mark gets rock hard the fastest, followed by kai. he’s a grower.

taeyong gets the best inspiration for a song when he gets a casual dick riding.

taemin watches extremely x-rated erotic thrillers and bdsm flicks that are heavy on the plot. he gets more invested in the characters and actors than you think. since his japanese is amazing? of course he also owns a giant 90s hentai collection.

when he’s jerking off, baekhyun chokes himself. a) because he’d make too much noise otherwise and b) because asphyxiation is his favorite thing.

kai feels pleasure in his every cell. he cums the hardest. and, as you can expect, his body expresses it the most extremely, accurately, passionately. if you’ve seen it even once, you’ll never look at him the same again.

taemin has less experience than his discography claims, but more than you’d think. he researches sexual techniques as well. you can brace yourself.

mark has not just a tiger inside, but a freak inside, waiting to be unleashed.

sex while gaming is a go-to activity for baekhyun.

lucas has the best stamina when it comes to getting head.

taemin throws his head back during sex. and no, he doesn’t T-pose. i’m kidding — of course he does. but only when he’s on his back.

taeyong tends to grip a pillow when he cums.

or he humps one when he’s by himself.

ten has the best taste in sexy time playlists.

baekhyun has the best taste in singing his own playlist along.

oh, the things kai has bought at a gas station at 3AM.

baekhyun sucks strap the best. he can open his mouth the widest, drools a lot, and makes the best noises unsurprisingly.

how to turn on lee taemin? he likes getting slapped.

since he’s the most avid and most diverse eater, lucas’ sperm tastes the best. he’s shove 50 fruits into his system just to give you a sweet experience.

mark is absolutely a starfish.

kai wears fishnet tops if you fancy it.

curiously, baekhyun out of all people doesn’t announce when he’s cumming. you’ll hear it, though.

taeyong’s dildo collection is one for the books.

taemin has visited a pro dominatrix a couple times. needless to say, he was the #1 favorite client at the dungeon. having fully submerged into a fantasy world, taemin was one whip crack away from falling in love with the mistress. but then covid happened and the venue closed.

mark’s dick looks really pretty.

taemin can grind on the strap at every humanly possible angle. he’s almost always ready to take it. he carries a prep kit.

kai — that fucker — knows how to make you wet the most with his bare hands. prepare for the thigh ride of your life, too.

taeyong, baekhyun, and taemin have the best arches. kai is coming for the top three as well. ten’s arch is so good, it can’t be considered one anymore.

baekhyun knows every adult movie out there. theoretically, nothing can shock him. in reality, he melts in your hands.

taeyong is so sexually active with you, he has quit eating garlic.

kai will exploit your muscle kink in any way he can.

taemin, being a devil, has that one button on his phone that he can press when you go out for dinner. he’s OBSESSED with getting you off. once you head home, it’s basically running down your thighs.

ten has once opened a condom with scissors to scare away a date that grew weird on him by the time it got to the do.

lucas is too tall for doing missionary normally.

this will surprise nobody: mark is great at constantly keeping up the dirty talk.

baekhyun’s car is sort of like a brothel on wheels. he can’t count how many times he got down and dirty in there. he cleans it all up by himself.

kai can technically grip you the hardest but he’s the gentlest and great at caressing the whole body.

taemin has the easiest time saying what precisely he wants. he is also the best people reader — most your wishes he can pretty intuit. taemin observes your interests well.

ten likes his hair pulled and makes angelic noises when you do so.

baekhyun likes camgirls and erotic chats with strangers online. he spends a lot of money for nsfw internet encounters.

600 notes · View notes

dailytomlinson · 3 years

Link

While many artists would jump at the chance to tell you how lockdown has been a fruitful opportunity for self-improvement, full of pseudo self-help books and pompous podcasts, former One Directioner Louis Tomlinson is adamant that he has done, well, nothing.

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Twenty-eight--year-old Tomlinson from Doncaster was always the down-to-earth Directioner, frequently describing himself as fringe member who spent more time analysing the band’s contracts than singing solos, known for chain-smoking his way through several packs of cigarettes a day and swearing like a trooper. A rarity, these days, among millennials who’d rather suck on a stem of kale and tweet about their #blessings.

He's getting ready to rehearse an exciting one-off gig that will be live-streamed from a secret London location on December 12, announced today exclusively via the Telegraph. The proceeds of the night will be split across four charities: The Stagehand Covid-19 Crew Relief Fund and Crew Nation, Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice and Marcus Rashford’s charity FareShare, to help end child poverty.

The gig means a great deal to Tomlinson, whose first ever tour as a solo artist, to promote his debut solo album WALLS, was cut short back in March after just two concerts in Spain and Mexico. It was an album he’d spent five years working on: a guitar-led project that ruptured with the preppy pop anthems of One Direction, inspired instead by Tomlinson’s love for Britpop.

No doubt he was anxious to get it right following a decade “grown in test tubes”, as Harry Styles once described the band’s formation on the X Factor, where they came third before going on to make a reported $280,000 a day as the most successful band in the world. The pressure, too, was intense: all four bandmates had already released their own solo debuts.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

“The thing that I always enjoyed the most about One Direction was playing the shows, so my master plan, when I realised I was going to do a solo career, was always my first tour. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for the best part of five years now. I got so close, I got a taste for it, and it’s affected me like everyone else, but I’m forever an optimist,” he says down the phone, with what I can only imagine to be a rather phlegmatic shrug.

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

“You know what,” he says, reflecting, “maybe because I’ve had real dark moments in my life, they’ve given me scope for optimism. In the grand scheme of things, of what I’ve experienced, these everyday problems...they don’t seem so bad.”

Tomlinson is referring to losing his 43-year-old mother, a midwife, to leukemia in 2016, and his 18-year-old sister Felicite, a model, to an accidental drug overdose in 2018. The double tragedy is something he has been open about on his own terms, dedicating his single, Two of Us, from WALLS, to his mother Johannah, while often checking in with fans who have lost members of their own family.

It’s not unusual for Tomlinson to ask his 34.9 million followers if they’re doing alright, receiving hundreds of thousands of personal replies. It’s not something he will discuss in interviews, however, after he slammed BBC Breakfast for shamelessly probing his trauma in February this year. “Never going back there again,” he tweeted after coming off the show.

“Social media is a ruthless, toxic place, so I don’t like to spend much time there,” says Tomlinson, “but because of experiencing such light and shade all while I was famous, I have a very deep connection with my fans. They’ve always been there for me.”

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

“Yeah, definitely,” he says. “I’m very, very excited. I had basically penciled down a plan before corona took over our lives. And now it's kind of given me a little bit of time to really get into what I want to say and what I want things to sound like. Because, you know, I was really proud of my first record, but there were moments that I felt were truer to me than others. I think that there were some songs where I took slightly more risk and owned what I love, saying, ‘This is who I want to be’. So I want to take a leaf out of their book.”

Fans might think he’s referring to writing more heartfelt autobiographical content such as Two of Us, but in fact, he’s referring specifically to rock-inspired Kill My Mind, he says, the first song on WALLS. “There’s a certain energy in that song, in its delivery, in its attitude, that I want to recreate. People are struggling at the moment, so I want to create a raucous, exciting atmosphere in my live show, not a somber, thoughtful one.”

He sighs, trying to articulate something that’s clearly been playing on his mind for a while. “You know, because of my story, my album was a little heavy at times and a little somber. And as I'm sure you're aware, from talking to me, now, that isn't who I am.”

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

Too many incredible memories to mention but not a day goes by that I don't think about how amazing it was. @NiallOfficial @Harry_Styles @LiamPayne @zaynmalik . So proud of you all individually.

The problem is, says Tomlinson, he doesn’t have the best imagination. “I have interesting things to say musically, but what’s challenging from a writing perspective is that I write from the heart, and I can’t really get into someone else’s story. And right now, being stuck at home, you have so little experience to draw from. It’s actually quite hard to write these positive, uplifting songs, because actually, the experiences that you're going through on a day to day basis, you know, you they don't have that same flavour.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Another source of inspiration for his second album is the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ back catalogue. “I grew up on their album Bytheway. And during lockdown I've been knee deep in their stuff. I’ve watched every documentary, every video. And I find their lead guitarist John Frusciante just fascinating.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

Tomlinson’s passion for all things rock is also spurring on a side hustle he picked up as a judge on the X Factor in 2018: managing an all-female rock band via his own imprint on Simon Cowell’s Syco label. While the group disbanded before releasing their first single, and Tomlinson split from Syco earlier this year, the singer is keen to nurture some more talent.

“I'm not gonna lie, my process with my imprint through Syco, it became challenging and it became frustrating at times,” Tomlinson says a little wearily. “The kind of artists that I was interested in developing – because I genuinely feel through my experience in One Direction, you know, one of the biggest f______ bands, I feel like I've learned a lot about the industry – they weren’t ready-made. So I had lots of artists that I took through the door that were rough and ready, but major labels want to see something that works straight away. I found that a little bit demotivating. I love her and she's an incredible artist, but not everyone is a Taylor Swift.”

Tomlinson spends much of his free time scouting new talent either on YouTube, Reddit or BBC Introducing – he’s currently a huge fan of indie Brighton band, Fickle Friends. His dream is to manage an all-female band playing instruments. “Because there's no one in that space. And I know eventually if I don't do it, someone else will!”

Before he drives off to rehearsals, we chatter about how much he's been practising his guitar playing, and how he can't wait to take the whole team working at his favourite grassroots venue, The Dome in Doncaster, out ice-skating after he performs there on his rescheduled tour. “Because I've got skills,” he says, and I can hear his chest puff.

And then I ask the question every retired member of One Direction has been batting off ever since they broke up in 2015, after Zayn Malik quit. Rumours that his bandmates saw him as a Judas went wild after some eagle eyes fans noticed they’d unfollowed him on Instagram. Payne, Tomlinson, Horan and Styles have barely mentioned him since. Recently, however, they re-followed him, and Payne has teased that a One Direction reunion is on the cards.

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

“I thought you were going to ask something juicier!” say Tomlinson witheringly. “Look, I f______ love One Direction. I'm sure we're going to come back together one day, and I'll be doing a couple of One Direction songs in my gig. I always do that, so that's not alluding to any reunion or anything. But, I mean, look, I'm sure one day we'll get back together, because, you know, we were f______ great.”

#telegraph uk #press #louis tomlinson #241120 #its FULL of stunts as telegraph usually goes #stunt mention #Eleanor Halls

273 notes · View notes

louistomlinsoncouk · 3 years

Link

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Far from aimless, however, today the singer is full of beans, cheerily shushing his barking dog as he potters about his North London home where he lives with his best friend from home, Oli, and his girlfriend, the model Eleanor Calder.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time to see his four-year-old son, Freddie, whom he shares with his ex Briana Jungwirth, a stylist. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

#louis tomlinson #24nov20

121 notes · View notes

hlupdate · 3 years

Link

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Far from aimless, however, today the singer is full of beans, cheerily shushing his barking dog as he potters about his North London home where he lives with his best friend from home, Oli, [...].

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, [...] “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

#louis tomlinson #241120 #lt livestream #e and f mentions from the journalist removed where there is [...]#nothing altered from louis #stunt mention #at the link

101 notes · View notes

tloujm · 4 years

Text

Part IV: I Was His & He Was Mine

Author’s Notes: The chapter is the calm before the storm. Now, as stated below, there be smut! This isn’t my first time writing smut and its sure as hell not my first time reading it. To be specific, I’ve written smut between two people before. This is my first attempt at a masturbation scene. Be warned, I’m not an expert, so take everything with a grain of salt. I hope you still enjoy though; I tried my best.

Genre: ahhhh sookie sookie now, things are smutty smutty now; but don’t worry, there’s some fluff too

Summary: You and Joel are officially a couple. Its basically three different imagines combined into one chapter. I tried to make them flow, but they’re really just glimpses into their domestically blissful lives.

Ship: Joel x Reader

Jackson survived another winter. Despite the harsh weather, it was probably the highlight of the year. It didn’t take long for people to notice that you and Joel were together. Tommy and Maria especially loved it. You always felt accepted by them, but now there was more of a familial bond. The four of you found time for more family dinners. You and Joel hosted Thanksgiving while Tommy and Maria took care of Christmas. Maybe you’re a hopeless romantic, but the winter time was sort of magical.

Joel asked you to move in soon after the two of you started seeing each other. It made no sense to keep going back and forth between beds especially when you two lived on the same property. You’d never got that far in a relationship before, so it was new, but with Joel it didn’t feel wrong. Everyday, he made sure you felt loved and there was nothing you wanted more than to show that same love back to him. You remembered the first time those precious three words were said. It was after the two of you had sex for the first time. He turned you around and spooned before draping the covers back over you. He asked if you were comfortable as his arm snaked over your middle. You said yes and kissed his knuckles. They were rough but warm. He was always so warm. Then, you said it. You couldn’t hold it back anymore and you weren’t afraid to be the first one. You held your tongue during sex because you didn’t want him to think it was just because of that. You wanted him to know that how you felt was real. Him saying it right back, though, sent your head reeling. You knew that he loved you but to hear him say it for the first time was exhilarating.

As the nights got warmer, the two of you would sit on the porch and play your respective instruments. It was mostly playful little strums but sometimes Joel would turn a little ditty into a full fledged song. He was gifted. You wished that it came as easily for you as it did him. You watched him play. He looked so at peace tapping his foot and bobbing his head to the rhythm. The melodic tune was so tranquil that it almost lulled you to sleep right there on the porch. If he hadn’t stopped, he probably would have had to carry your sleeping form to bed.

“Now, I want you to play me somethin’” He said.

“Who me?” You asked rhetorically. “I guess I could try.” You picked up your ukulele.

“That’s all I ask.” He said, setting his guitar down against the house.

“Um…” You tried to remember what he taught you about the guitar so you could apply it to your instrument. You played a few basic chords but when you tried to do something more complicated, the notes began to jumble and it all fell through.

“That’s startin’ to sound like somethin’.” He said encouragingly.

“Ugh, I suck.” You make a disgusted face.

“Nah, you just need to build up your calluses is all. Here, let me see your hands.” He gestured you over by patting his thighs. You got up from your rocking chair and sat on his lap. He took the Ukulele from your hand and sat it next to his guitar. “Like these.” He showed you his hands. You were well acquainted with them, but you enjoyed the closeness nonetheless. He unraveled the fist your hand naturally formed and gently slid his fingertips across your palm. “Your hands are too soft.”

“Oh? You want them rough like yours?” You playfully asked. He chuckled and shook his head. “Uhhhuhhh.”

“You’re getting better though.” He encouraged again. You grunt and shrug your shoulders. “Just remember what I said, keep your thumb---”

“Thumb behind the neck and use your fingertips and not your fingerpads.”

“Glad to see I’m gettin’ through to you.” He said sarcastically. You made a move to leave the porch but Joel’s arms tightened around your waist. “Now, where do you think you’re goin’?”

“I was going to put my ukulele up and call it a night.” You responded.

He dug his face into your shoulder. “Don’t go.” The words came out muffled but you still heard him. You moved your arms and wrapped them around his neck before laying your lips on his forehead.

“Then, I’ll stay.” And the two of you did for a few solid minutes.

“Y’know, when I was a kid,” He stopped and let out a breathy laugh. “I wanted to be a singer.”

“Shut up!” You laughed with him. “Really? Joel Miller, the singer? That’s sensational.”

“I’m serious.”

“I believe you! Sing for me.” You requested.

He shook his head and fiddled with a button on your shirt. “Uh, no.”

“I bet you sound really nice!” You said but he didn’t respond. “I won’t laugh. Please?” You beg in a voice Joel could only describe as adorable.

“Maybe another time.” He was serious. In truth, he was self conscious, even in front of you. Music had always been near and dear to him. It was one thing to share his guitar skills, but his voice was different. He knew he wasn’t the best singer, but when he was younger, he figured that if he could find a vocal coach, maybe he could actually be successful at it. He scoffed at his thoughts, as the dream seemed so distant now.

“Come to bed with me?” You asked in a whisper.

He smiled. “‘Course.” He kissed the arm still wrapped around his neck before tapping your thigh. You got up and grabbed both instruments. He opened the front door for you and turned off the porch light.

*****

Sometimes Joel’s patrol job could be a multi day excursion. Because of his level of experience, he was trusted with doing the longer, harsher routes. What gave you comfort was knowing that he wasn’t by himself out there. He never left without a group of two other equally experienced people. When you especially missed him, you would spend time in his craft room. That and his pillow reminded you of him the most. Today, you decided to relax in there. You grabbed a book from downstairs and settled down on the loveseat in his room. You only managed to get one page in before thoughts of him distracted you. It was not enough to be in his space, you had to imagine that he was there.

You looked up at his desk. It was covered in sawdust and unfinished figurines. He would make them for the children in the community. Despite his cold exterior, he had a soft spot for kids. Toys were often not a priority when scavenging, so they were grateful for the things he’d make. It was a win-win. The kids got to be kids and Joel got to keep his hands busy. What couldn’t that man do with his hands? You smiled at the thought. His passion project was building a guitar from scratch, though. He used the one that he found as a model. Various parts of the guitar were strewn across the table. Looking at the curved edges of the guitar’s body made you think back to when he first sanded them down. His hands skimmed the surface; top to bottom. His muscles flexed through the motions. You let out a little whimper before changing positions in the loveseat. If you weren’t facing the table, thoughts of him couldn’t distract you. Or at least that’s what you wanted to think. Soon enough, you learned that that was far from the truth. Giving up, you sat the book down and went to your shared room.

You gently closed the door behind you. The pants were the first to come off, then it was your shirt. You crawled into the middle of your bed with nothing but your underwear on. You allowed your hands to caress different parts of your body. Closing your eyes, you imagined that they were his. Your smaller, softer hands could not compare, however. Still, you continued your blind search. Your hands quickly found themselves down your panties and to your clit. You massaged it for a few moments before turning over on your knees. You grabbed two pillows and lined them up before straddling one between your thighs. Arching your back, you began to grind to maintain the sensation. Your hips quickly found a rhythm while your hands slid under your bra. You rubbed and squeezed your breasts like he would. Your body was becoming more sensitive and you were determined to ride out the sensation. Within seconds, the clasp was released and your bra was tossed to the side. As your body moved up and down the pillows, your nipples dragged against the bed. You slipped a hand down your middle as you began to pulsate. You rubbed circles around your clit before abandoning the pillows altogether. You slid over to the edge of the bed and started to grind over the corner. You squeezed your thighs with every stroke. With your face planted on the bed, you slid your other fingers into your entrance. You contracted around them for several moments longer until the built up pressure finally released.

Your favorite part of being with Joel was the end. You would keep him hostage inside you every time you closed around him. You could see the struggle in his face as he fought off the impulse to cum inside you. As an erotic contraceptive, he would spill onto your stomach instead. After getting yourself off, you found yourself missing that part. You found yourself missing him. You climbed back onto the bed and cuddled the pillows, one between your legs and the other hugged by your arms. It was such a comfortable feeling that you soon fell asleep.

*****

For Joel, today was just like any other day. He woke up next to you, took a shower, made breakfast and waited for you to wake so you could eat together. Even though the routine appeared mundane on paper, he was more than content. He was happy and it was because of you. He never said it out loud, even in front of you, but he was afraid of being alone again. Not the kind of alone where you’re reading a book by yourself or eating in the corner of the bar at a table for one. He’d grown accustomed to going through life alone after the infection. His family had fallen apart and he had to learn how to fend for himself. He even learned how to benefit from being alone after a while. It wasn’t until he crossed paths with you and reunited with his brother that he realized how being alone truly made him feel and he did not ever want to go back to that. At times, he found himself paranoid over losing you again. He fought those thoughts by reminding himself that you were here with him. You loved him back and it made his heart swell, almost to the point of breaking; a feeling he hadn’t experienced in at least a decade.

“Hey, I was gonna make breakfast today.” You protested as you came downstairs. You followed the smell of eggs, buttered toast and freshly squeezed orange juice.

“I was already up.” Joel said nonchalantly.

“See, that’s your problem. You don’t let yourself sleep in.” You playfully accuse.

He chuckled. “I can’t sleep in,” He pushed your plate toward you. “I have work today.”

“Today? I thought you were off.”

He shook his head. “Nathan asked me to cover him in his scavenging group yesterday. His son is sick and Sheila’s still on patrol…” He faded out before stuffing a piece of toast in his mouth.

“Oh.” You said. Joel noticed the wheels moving in your head.

“You can join us today. I know you like scavenging and we could use another good shot.” Joel offered.

“I would love to, but I can’t. I promised Donna I’d help her in the gardens.” It was a lie. You were usually not opposed to lying, especially since it has saved your ass multiple times when traveling. After starting a relationship with Joel, you’d become more conscious about lies and you didn’t want to be hypocritical. It was just a little white lie which you deemed ok, however.

“Oh. Well, I’ll miss you.” He said as he got up. He walked over and lifted your chin before kissing you. “Save me a couple of apples?”

You nodded with a smile. “Of course.”

“And not one of those green ones.”

“I know, you like the dark red ones.” You said. He matched your smile, thinking about how much he appreciated you, even with the little things. You waved as he left for the day.

You cleaned the dishes, wondering what to do now. You had the whole day planned out for you and Joel. Of course, you hadn’t told him this the day before. You were convinced that his day would stay open. Why would he work today of all days? You were just going to have to rearrange some things for when he came back from the scavenging trip. After the kitchen was cleaned, you got ready for the day and went down to the gardens to get his apples.

Later that evening, Joel came back home. It was dark inside the house. Joel flipped the switch. Your name caught in his throat as he found you sleeping on the couch. He was glad that he saw you when he did because he was ready to yell out your name. Joel had gotten home later than planned. The scavenging group arrived back in Jackson after dark, but it was still too early to find you sleeping. Joel was usually the first to fall asleep between you two. You were the night owl and he was the morning bird.

You woke up as he slung your arms around his neck. He was going to carry you to bed but you protested as soon as you gained consciousness. He was surprised at how quickly you woke up and sat you back down on the couch.

“Joel!” You woke up startled. “Shit, what time is it?” Napping had always disoriented you. Seeing the darkness from the windows didn’t help. You looked around for the clock.

“Quarter to ten. Sorry I’m late, darlin’. There was this store that we couldn’t pass up on our route but it took some extra work to get into.”

“Oh,” There’s still time, you thought to yourself. “That’s alright. As long as you’re back safe.” You began to get giddy with excitement. Joel smiled at how you cared. He let his body fall onto the couch, slumping into the cushions.

He stretched his arm out around your shoulder just as you got up. “Hey, where you goin’ now?” He frowned.

“I’ll be right back!” You ran into the dining room and back within record time. You came back with a big box in your hands.

He looked up at it with tired eyes. “What’s this?”

“Happy Birthday, my love.” You said, holding the box out for him to take.

He shook his head with a smile. “How did you know about that?”

“So you can know about mine, but I can’t know about yours?” You asked playfully. “I asked Tommy awhile back.”

“You coulda just asked me.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise. I had the whole day planned out as a surprise but then…” You faded off.

“Sorry, (Y/N). If I would have known, I would have said no to Nathan.”

“Well, that would have ruined the point of the surprise, silly. Now, just open your gift.” You demand excitedly. You knew he was going to be happy with it.

“Yes, Ma’am.” A look of confusion crossed his face as he took it in his hands. “Seems kinda light for such a big box.”

“All part of the surprise to throw you off.”

He did as he was told and you watched as his face went through a multitude of expressions. “Um...Is this what I think it is, darlin’?” Joel held up a blunt between his fingers.

“That is exactly what you think it is.” You gave him a mischievous smile.

“Where did you find weed?”

“God, you wouldn’t believe.” You shook your head. “It was from Eugene!” His eyes widened. “Yeah, during the winter, me and my patrol group had to make a detour because of the weather, so we found this building that appeared abandoned but it looked like Eugene beat us to it. He turned the whole basement into a garden of marijuana plants. I fucking swear. He had rolling papers there, so I rolled two and took them with me.”

“How do you know it was Eugene’s?” He asked, twiddling it between his fingers.

“I recognized some of his stuff around the place.”

“You showed your patrol group this?”

“We had to wait out a whole blizzard. How do you think we killed our time?” Another slick smile crossed your face to which Joel playfully shook his head. “Don’t worry, we made sure to leave no evidence that we were ever there...other than the missing blunts. We swore each other to secrecy, but I figured I’d make a little exception for my baby on his birthday.”

Joel chuckled. “You’re too kind, darlin’.” He took a whiff of the blunt before setting it back down for later. “Now, this.” He pulled out a glass jar with a worn label, smiling ear to ear. He was speechless.

“You like it?” You knew he did.

He glared at you sarcastically. “How did you find coffee beans?”

“I picked up a few scavenging shifts of my own a while back. We were inside this large house and the person who owned it must have loved coffee too because this is good quality stuff right here. Look at that label, or what’s left of it. It looks fancy!”

“That it does.”

“And I traded for this mortar and pestle right here,” You reached inside the box. “When that group passed through last month, remember?” He nodded before looking back up at you. “I figured you could use it to grind the beans. It's stone, so hopefully it’ll hold up well.”

“Mmmhmm.” He hummed in agreement. You looked back at him and smiled. “Thank you, baby. I love it all.” The way he looked at you so genuinely mingled with his deep, Texas drawl? You almost lost it.

“You’re welcome, my love.” You cupped his bearded cheek and kissed him. You gently pushed away before it could go deeper. “What do you say we leave the coffee ‘til the morning and light up now?” You gesture toward the blunt on the coffee table.

Without words, Joel reached into his back pocket and pulled out his lighter. Your grin grew as you held the blunt up to his flame. You were about to take a drag, but you turned the blunt around and placed it between his lips. You told him that it was his birthday, so he got to have the first puff. For the rest of the hour, the two of you passed it back and forth before putting out the stub in the mortar. The two of you became a fit of coughs and laughter which lasted well into the night. You didn’t know about Joel, but it hit you harder than you thought it would. The two of you ate through all of the fruit in the bowl on the counter and the homemade granola bars you made the other day.

You were picking with the granola crumbs on your shirt when you caught Joel looking at you a certain way. You were not a stranger to this look. You licked the crumbs off your fingers and squinted your eyes in playful curiosity. A coy smile grew on your face to match his. Joel patted his lap. He didn’t have to ask twice. You crawled on top and his face was immediately glued to yours. You grinded over his jeans as your fingers snaked through his hair. His tongue entered your mouth and danced with yours. The air was filled with nothing but panting and moans. You lifted up to unzip his pants and pulled him out of his underwear. You licked the palm of your hand before reaching back down and wrapping your fingers around his member. It was a slow and gentle stroke at first. Your thumb ran over the precum from the head and dragged it all the way down. As his breathing became more and more shallow, you began to tug faster. Your eyes were locked on him. You reached your other hand down to fondle the rest. He twitched in your hands; you could feel what was coming. It was only a matter of moments before he released all over his shirt and your hand. He rested his head back against the couch. You helped him remove his button down and put it in the dirty laundry. Shirtless and pants undone, he grabbed your hand and pulled you upstairs to bed.

#TLOU #TLOU 2 #tlou joel #tlou part 2 #joel miller #joel #fanfic #fanfiction #joel x reader #OC #reader insert #The Last of Us #Joel Miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel/reader

80 notes · View notes

cheekysos · 4 years

Text

Between Hate and Lust Part Two

Ashton Irwin x Plus Size Reader

Author’s Note: I’m sorry this took awhile for me to post. Thank you for the feedback on part one, I hope you enjoy part two and I plan on writing a part three! I’m not writing this series to exclude any body type, shape, or size because everyone’s bodies should be accepted and celebrated. So I am very sorry if this in any way excludes anyone, that is not my intention. If there’s anything you’d like to read please leave a request in my asks and I will try my best to do it justice. If you have any feedback or ideas for part three please let me know.

Summary: Y/N is doing her best to ignore Ashton and his stupid dumb face at the wedding but he’s making it damn near impossible.

Warnings: Very brief mentions of masturbation, sexual thoughts, mutual pining, light swearing

Y/N’s POV

The morning of the wedding was a little bit of a blur to you. You barely got any sleep last night, your thoughts completely consumed with Ashton. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t give in after hours of tossing and turning in bed and reached for your purple vibrator in your nightstand. Ashton’s words from earlier playing over in your head, “Unless you need some help keeping that pretty mouth shut.” Did he really think your mouth was pretty and what exactly would he have done if you didn’t keep quiet? You kicked yourself for not pushing him.

The next morning you were getting your makeup and hair done, drinking mimosas with the rest of the bridesmaids and the bride to be. Your hair and makeup was simple but elegant, subtle smokey eye with loose curls half up. You were grateful that all the bridesmaids were able to choose different styles of a dress all in the same mauve color. Your dress had a fitted bodice with a halter neckline and cut right at the knee. You were trying your best to enjoy the moment and not think about how in an hour you’d be walking down the aisle next to Ashton.

Ashton’s POV

You were nursing your second cup of coffee, hoping it would take the edge off your hangover. You didn’t intend on drinking so much last night but you didn’t want to think about anything or anyone. You understood why Y/N was still upset with you and you didn’t blame her but were definitely hoping that she’d at least give you the chance to apologize. You couldn’t believe you actually said that to her, “unless you need some help keeping that pretty mouth shut.” Your temper regrettably got the better of you, which meant your dominance came out too. You were kind of torn, part of you want to put her pretty mouth to work just completely dominate her but part of you also wanted to whisk her away and worship every inch of her. Your mind was consumed with her, thinking about the way she’d feel pressed against you, how soft and sweet her lips probably are, the way her thighs would feel clenched around your head.

“I’m guessing she didn’t accept your apology?” the groom sat down next to you, interrupting your thoughts.

“She did not,” you sighed. “Can’t blame her though, I was a twat.”

He chuckled, “Mate, we’re all twats when we’re fourteen. You admitted you were wrong and apologized, that’s what’s important. Now get your ass up so I can go get married.”

Y/N’s POV

Most of the guests had arrived and it was almost time for you and the rest of the wedding party to walk down the aisle. You started to think about what Ashton would be wearing, it would be hard for him to top last night but you had a feeling he’d somehow manage to do so and he’d probably do it effortlessly too. He truly was infuriating, he’s so attractive and he damn well knows it too.

You gave yourself one last glance in the mirror before you hugged your best friend and walked out into the corridor where the rest of the wedding party was gathered. The groomsmen were all wearing traditional black suits, white shirts and black ties and yet somehow it looked different on him. He put everyone else to shame in that suit and you knew you weren’t the only one who thought so. You slowly sauntered over to where Ashton and another bridesmaid were joking around, her hand playfully slapping his arm. You intentionally shot daggers her way. You wish you could say you were surprised that he was flirting with her but you weren’t, she was petite and skinny and everything you weren’t.

“Everyone’s lining up,” you said her coldly.

You could feel Ashton’s body language shift as she said goodbye to him and left the two of you standing alone. Your mouth was dry and a massive lump was stuck in your throat. You had been thinking of what to say to him all day but now that you were here right next to him, nothing seemed right so instead you stood next to him and quietly admired him. He was so handsome, even more so up close. His jawline was so sharp and his Adam's apple was so prominent you desperately wanted to kiss and nip at his neck. He smelled like warmth and citrus, what you imagined sunshine smelled like. He had to have noticed you staring, you were making no attempts to hide it. Ashton startled you when he stuck his arm out for you to link yours in. You inhaled deeply before snaking your arm through his.

Ashton’s POV

Walking down the aisle with Y/N was tense, at least on your end. Her arm was looped in yours and she smelled sweet like vanilla and not to mention the fact that she looked stunning. She definitely knew how to accentuate all her best assets. The two of you hadn’t said anything to each other since last night but you found the words spewing out of your mouth like word vomit as you reached the end of the aisle.

“You look beautiful,” you whispered to her as the two of you parted ways.

God, you felt stupid for saying that. Obviously she didn’t care what you thought. You never struggled this much with women, most of the time it was actually pretty effortless for you; the words just flowed naturally. With Y/N it was completely different, you second guessed everything about yourself and it was driving you mad. You spent most of the ceremony keeping your eyes on the couple or at the ground, occasionally stealing a glance at Y/N. She looked poetic standing there holding a bouquet of flowers.

Y/N’s POV

The ceremony was beautiful. You were so happy for your friends and you wanted to make sure that they had an amazing night with no outbursts but Ashton was making it difficult. He told you that you looked beautiful as you were walking down the aisle. Was he trying to make up for all the nasty things that were said about your looks back in school or did he actually mean it? Of course you were hoping that he actually thought you were beautiful but you feared that he was just trying to clear his conscious. You ignored his statement and didn’t plan on addressing it but then you were all getting ready to take pictures of the entire wedding party when he came up behind you and gently placed his hand on your back. You had so many mixed emotions feeling his touch. You were desperate for it, wanted it so badly but your pessimistic nature got the better of you.

You flinched feeling his breath on your neck. “How many times am I gonna have to tell ya you’re beautiful before you answer me?” he whispered.

You stepped away from his touch, “Depends. How many more times before your conscious is clean?” you snapped. You didn’t wait for him to respond, you didn’t want to make a scene. You found your spot next to the bride and continued on like nothing was wrong the best you could.

Ashton’s POV

After your last encounter you figured it was best that you kept your distance from Y/N for the rest of the night and then after that the two of you wouldn’t have to see each other ever again. Obviously that’s not what you wanted but it’s what she wanted and you respected that.

You were definitely regretting your offer to sing for the first dance, you were really just ready to get drunk again. You downed the last of your scotch before making your way to the band. After brief introductions you slung the guitar over your shoulder and walked to the microphone.

“Excuse me everyone, if I could have your attention for a moment,” you projected to the crowd. “Can I have everyone clear the dance floor for the first dance.”

Everyone cleared the space and cheered as the bride and groom made their way to the floor in front of you. You quietly counted off to the band behind you as you all started to play. They chose the song ‘Conversations in the Dark’ by John Legend, it was a perfect wedding song and honestly took quite a while to learn but you were happy to do it for them.

Y/N’s POV

The second you saw him standing on stage with a guitar you knew it was over, there was no way you’d be able to fight it any longer. His voice was unique and smooth, the way his fingers danced along the neck of the guitar sent shivers down your spine. The song itself was beautiful, you were familiar with it but the way it sounded with his voice was breath taking. The whole situation was overwhelming; your best friend getting married, your ex cheating on you, and the guy you spent most of your childhood hating standing in front of you singing. You didn’t even realize you started crying until tears ran down your cheeks. You got up from the table and hurried outside for some air. You spent some time composing yourself, wiping your tears and touching up your make-up.

You decided you were done being angry and sad for tonight, you were ready to go have a couple of drinks and dance but the universe had other plans. For the second time that weekend you were met with an unwanted face, only this time it wasn’t Ashton.

“Hiya pet,” your ex boyfriend stood there perched against the wall; a cigarette in one hand, a drink in the other and a smug look plastered on his face.

104 notes · View notes

wastelandcth · 4 years

Note

hi i luv ur writing could u possibly write something along the lines of the reader is singer/musician too not professionally she’s just been playing instruments/singing for past time so the couple is a very music orientated family and maybe when she can’t sleep she plays a song and sings in their music room and posts on her story like cal did with the crowded house cover & he wakes up listening to her voice and maybe the next night he’s the one posting on his story singing the same song with her

this was such a cute idea thank you so much for requesting it! based off of this video!

moonlight singing

She had a habit of finding herself in the music room when the world around her was asleep. She found comfort in the fact that she was alone with her guitar, everyone else lost in their dreams for the night. Her phone screen lit up the room as she set it up in front of her, the moonlight peeking in through the windows lighting her frame. She hit the record button on the screen and took a deep breath, her hands strumming the guitar quietly as hummed the lyrics to herself at first. She was tired, but her brain couldn't seem to shut off, whether she was worried about the big project she was working on at her job or just whatever shit show was happening in the world, sleep just wasn't an option tonight, not that she minded much. She always had trouble sleeping, no matter who was next to her in bed. When she was young, her mother always said she was a night owl, craving to stay awake with the stars and the moon.

Looking back up at the camera, she smiled a bit, her own voice surprising her as she sang out the first few lyrics of the song she'd had stuck in her head for the last couple of days thanks to Calum singing it around the house while he cleaned or read through emails. Calum heard her soft voice from across the hall, the feeling of an empty bed having woken him up. Her voice traveled through the hallways, the soft strumming of her guitar lulling Calum back into the comfort of their bed, his eyes closing as he listened to her singing. Even in the darkness of their bedroom, he didn't hold back the smile that spread across his face. He could imagine her, sitting on the uncomfortable chair they'd been meaning to replace, one of his shirts over her as she strummed the guitar. He chuckled quietly as he heard her play a few chords wrong before she started the song over, her voice never straying from softness he was used to whenever she sang at night. Calum knew she was going through a lot right now, he also knew that she liked being able to process things on her own, and music always helped her. The soft humming of her voice made his eyelids heavy, the song she'd chosen for tonight reminding him of home. As sleep finally overtook him again, all Calum could hear was the soft strumming and her voice in his dreams, "That's why I tell you, you'd better be home soon."

In the morning, when the sunshine lit up the room, Calum's eyes opened to find her asleep next to him. Her hair was a mess, like it usually was in the mornings, and she was snoring softly as she held Duke close to her chest. His lips pressed to the top of her head, savoring the moment of peace and quiet before he made his way out of bed and downstairs to make some coffee for himself. Calum's morning routine nowadays consisted of himself waking up early to go for either a walk with Duke or on a run through the neighborhood. He'd then come back and make himself some breakfast as he scrolled through his phone, catching up on his social media and talking to his family back home.

He missed Sydney a little extra hard these days, he missed his childhood home and being able to spend time with his family. He decided to ditch his morning work out that day and spend it on Facetime with his mom, catching up on what they'd both been up to. Eventually when the timezones caught up to them and his mom left him for bed, Calum found himself scrolling through his instagram, liking posts from his friends and looking through their stories. It wasn't until he saw her username pop up, that he remembered last night. The strumming and soft voice coming from the music room as he had struggled to keep his eyes open. The mostly black screen of his phone played out her singing, her silhouette only being seen as she shifted in the chair. He'd been singing the song a lot recently, it reminded him of home. A home he wished he could be at, a home filled with his mom's cooking and his dad's records playing out through the living room.

Later that night, as Calum laid restless in bed, he couldn't help but itch to sing. Making his way out of the bedroom, he grabbed the guitar he'd been messing around with in the living room earlier that day. Walking into the music room, he smiled as he saw her sitting on the couch, her headphones on as she bopped her head along to whatever song she was playing on the keyboard. Calum cleared his throat as he sat down next to her, his hands strumming a few chords on his guitar as he looked over at her. Her smile calmed him, his worries about her being upset he'd be interrupting her alone time gone as she slid off the headphones, listening to him strumming the familiar chords. Calum didn't realize he had begun to sing until he heard her voice joining him, her hand squeezing his thigh gently as she leaned into him.

It was a small moment, but it was a moment that neither of them would forget. Their voice melded into one as they sang, Calum's fingers working the guitar strings as her hands ran through his curls. Her lips found their way to his once the song ended and the strumming stopped, soft laughter replacing their song. Calum set down the guitar, his hands taking hers as he stood from the couch, leading her down the dark hallway into their room.

When they both laid down that night to go to bed, Calum didn't miss his home anymore, sure, he missed his parents and Sydney, but being with her, being able to sing and hold her close was more than enough. Calum realized that home wasn't a place across oceans for him anymore, home was warm hugs and soft songs that were sung while the moon lit up the room. "That's why I tell you, you'd better be home soon."

#5sos #calum hood #calum hood imagine #5sos imagines #5sos blurbs #calum hood blurb #5sos one shot #calum hood one shot #gemma writes #anon request

79 notes · View notes

jjkpls · 5 years

Text

Whole Lotta Love (m)

> genre : smut, pwp

> pairing : kim taehyung x reader (f) x jeon jungkook

> total words : 2.8k

> warnings/content : friends to lovers, threesome i guess, exhibitionism/voyeurism themes, some dirty talk, penetrative intercourse, bad editing

There are the drums, getting beaten so hard the whole world is shaking, tectonic plates disrupted and volcanos awoke. And the guitars, the hundred of electric guitars’ cords abused by the most passionate fingers, screeching and thundering blaring so strong it’s like they’re trying to frighten Zeus.

You want to believe that it’s just the music. That it’s so loud, louder than anything you've ever heard, painful and mindblowing in the scariest yet most delicious and memorable way. You’ve never heard that before. You’ve never experienced that kind of insanity. That’s why your body struggles to handle it. Trying to make-do, improvise with the information received while keeping the most of your body intact, making sure your eardrums, eyes, brains and everything else just don’t explode and shatter to pieces right there. And even though you thought about it so long and hard, trying to picture what it would be like, a dream born in a psychotic imagination. A dream of the loudest concert ever: hundreds of guitars, drums, basses and voices, all playing the same tune. It's still unexpected, unbelievable. You couldn't have imagined it to be like that.

Now your body is left to extemporize and lags a bit. Coping via manifestations you’re not responsible for and can’t explain. That’s why your cunt is clenching around nothing, clitoris tingly each time you move your hips around and happen to squeeze your thighs a bit too close. You’re not turned into a fucking disturbing nymphomaniac pogoer for no other reasons than you being a slut, it’s something else. It’s too exciting, everything that’s happening in and outside of you, for you to care yet a little voice at the back of your head mumbles something about how maybe you should be concerned about your freakiness. Getting this horny in the middle of a dancing crowd at a concert. Could you actually come just from dancing to this performance orchestrated by the Devil?

Two large and warm hands grab your hips and drag you backwards. A semi-hard shaft pressed to your ass and a beer scented breath battling your cheek, sending a bunch of wild strands of hair away. When one of the hand slides further down your front, settling for your lower belly, you see the elegant thing, with the ridiculously long fingers adorned by the slenderest, most delicate pieces of jewellery and you smile in relief, knowing whose it is.

Taehyung follows your movement for a while, his front now clinging to your back like glue, his second arm, the one who’s kept fairly nice until now, slips around your middle to wrap itself right under your breasts where they can sit, making sure there is no way your bodies can separate. And then another song is played. It’s still one straight from the most epic rock n roll hits from the eighties, fast-paced and enraged in that particular fashion, with that sense of aiming to fuck with the world by making the most noise. But you find your body to still want to follow the beat lasciviously. You are aware of how offbeat you are but you're possessed and that’s just your body wanting to do its own thing now. You’d be embarrassed if it was not for Taehyung who now doesn’t simply match but enhances your languidness. His pressing his hand against your pelvis, the tip of his not so tiny pinky finger crushing your clit -though you don’t know if he knows it- as he intimates you the rhythm of your hips, grinding slowly his now fully erect cock against you. You’re singing in chorus with the singers, murmuring or yelling you’re not sure as the loudness is fucking deafening -and so is Taehyung even though you can’t hear his lovely gravelly voice, you can feel his chest rumbling against your back. You’re having the time of your life. You’ve reached a trance, an orgasmic nirvana. Taehyung is laughing along with you, holding you tighter and biting now and then your neck. It’s incredible. The best moment of your life and you want to cry when you think about how grateful and happy you are to share it with them.

Them. As in Taehyung and Jungkook.

Turning your head to the side, where the latter should be standing, you find a group of cute girls with rainbow hairs instead. Your heart knocks furiously in your chest, panic over euphoria, as your eyes dance around in a frenzy only relaxing when they catch him, to your other side, slightly backed away. His eyes are closed from what you can tell, his head bobbing as all the pretty bits of his handsome face scrunch and frown over his tensed jaw. He’s wincing in that particular way people do when they’re getting blessed with good music. And seeing him agreeing with you on the magical performance you’re granted fills you with giddy happiness.

The thing is his stature looks so rigid. He, who likes to mess around with dancing since he’s been fifteen is standing buff and stiff on his strong legs, not hinting the least intent to move his hips or hands or about anything. You scowl. Displeased. You look around at the people surrounding you, all enjoying their time. Maybe he’s embarrassed? Because he’s more used to letting it go and letting the music possess his body when it’s a different genre of music. Maybe he feels a bit awkward in his sweatpants and Balenciaga sneakers, lost in a sea of long-bearded dudes with their big-exposed-bellies and sexy Mohawk chicks. Not really his crowd even though he appreciates all music and he had that emo punk phase in middle school. You’re upset and embarrassed for him, wanting him to have the freest and most shameless experience. The way Taehyung, rutting his hard cock against your ass, and you, letting your pussy drip along your inner thigh -you like to reassure yourself by silently pestering that it is sweat but you highly doubt it is- are doing. You even consider a trip back to the food truck to get him a beer, despite the hassle that it represents, but you then remember what he said earlier about not wanting to drink in an exposed environment -in other words, he can’t handle his alcohol and doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of strangers.

Suddenly his eyes open wide and they focus right on your face. He looks, or more like observes, with an uncommon slitting on his usually endearingly round eyes. The muscles of his jaw twitch and clench a few times, his tongue presses the inside of his cheek and then his gaze, before diverting back to the giant screens projecting images of the musicians, twitches for a split second on yours and Taehyung’s attached bodies and it hits you.

Of fucking course, he would feel uncomfortable.

The three of you came here as a trio, beyond excited to share the probably most memorable concert of your lives. And then a few songs in, Taehyung and you are all over each other, dancing, getting to know each other’s private parts and he’s standing left alone in the back, seemingly long forgotten. Your heart aches as it contracts from the guilt. You reach for his hand which you wrap your own around, holding onto it as if your life depends on it. Which it does in a way. There’s no way you’ll enjoy this moment fully if you know your precious friend is not also having it. Just thinking about the past couple of songs you haven’t noticed anything brings an ugly shade over the bliss you were having so far.

Jungkook lets himself dragged closer, shoulder bumping into Taehyung, looking all surprised and perplexed. You can tell from the straightening of his back to the return of his beautiful round eyes and the tight lip. You smile cheerfully, hoping your gleaming eyes will soften him down and it’s then, finally, that Taehyung realizes the exchange. His motions slow down as he focuses on the both of you trying to make out what he can of what has been going on. Perhaps it’s the desire to get back to the show, with you, that helps his loose brain work it out fast, in any case he's quick to manage to put the pieces together. He flashes an amused pout to Jungkook, before his hand -the one who’s been teasing your cunt for some time now- slides off of your body to wrap around his friend's nape. He forces his short nails in, scratches his scalp mouthing something that you can’t catch before he lets it fall to his ass which he pats affectionately a few times.

Things are settled.

The show goes on. Taehyung wraps himself around you entirely, immersing himself back to that special zone, grinning to himself when he finds you there again. Jungkook seems less tense. At least his tongue is not poking threateningly the inside of his cheek. And his hand, no matter how slippery it gets from keeping it intertwined with yours, doesn’t let go. Now everything is perfect. There’s nothing you’d change and you enjoy this magical moment to its fullest. And sharing it with them. It feels surreal. Like a gift that you did not deserve. Undeserving but nevertheless greedy, you latch on it, feasting and bathing in this instant because you don’t know when something that special will happen again. It’s insane. You hope they feel the same.

And then you have the confirmation. The confirmation that they too felt like you, like this shared moment was too good and too precious and none of you can accept the idea that it had ended already. You need to create the memory again. Another one. As phenomenal and intense and unduplicable.

That’s how you end up on all four, barely holding up on your forearms, cheek sticking to the skin of Jungkook’s thigh as Taehyung, on his knees, fucks you hard from behind. Because that’s special and it feels indeed phenomenal. You feel like you're dying and living, feel like sobbing yet you find yourself chuckling through the few tears running from your eyes. It feels incredible. You don’t know how much it is the whole situation. How much it is them. How much it is the foreplay the concert turned out to be. How much it is Taehyung's ministrations. Either way, you’ve never been fucked like so and it never felt so delectable.

Taehyung shuffles a bit, sitting back on his knees instead of standing, and starts hitting upward, banging against a spot you’ve heard of but never thought you’d experience the day it will be played with. He’s not really playing though. He’s beating furiously, it’s brutish, you just know it will hurt once the pleasure is gone but for now, all you can do is take it, drooling on Jungkook's thigh while panting and whining like a bitch. The more pleasure you gather, the ball inside growing so wide, invading all senses and wearing you down, the deeper you sink into your only support: Jungkook. Your face ends up forcing a snug place against his rock hard crotch. He’s not even saying anything, complaining, moaning or anything. Sometimes you can feel his thighs jerk and tense under you. Sometimes you hear a sharp inhale. He just has one of his pretty hands smoothing your hair down tenderly and the other one is holding you somewhere but you can’t even pinpoint it. Your whole body is invaded by Taehyung in the form of sheer pleasure and all of your senses, stimulated simultaneously, blend and mix for you to be lost in a maze of delicious sensations, completely indecipherable from one another.

You render silent when it turns out to be too much. Mouth stuck agape, eyes rolled upward behind your closed eyelids. It’s Jungkook who worries first, fumbling with your hair to get it out of your flushed face. You blink once at the light, and Taehyung, growling, grabs you by the shoulders before he drags you up against him, slapping your ass with his hips continuously.

“Babe, get up, I need to know you’re still with me. Am I doing all this just for myself?” A lamentation. Not so convincing, but a proper answer is just too much to ask from you. “Who am I doing this for?” He insists, grunting, lips pressed to your ear.

“F-for me.”

He hums contently. His voice, baritone tease, rumbles against your cheek he then kisses. “Then you're gonna take it like a good girl.”

“Yes, yes, please, I will-”

Slowly he drags his outrageously big cock out, his thickness scuffing every inch of your walls, earning a pathetic whine from you, and he starts fucking you again, quietly and nicely now as he tries to listen to your babbling about how he’s too good and it’s too much.

“I know, baby, I know. It hurts but it’ll- fuck- it’s gonna be so good in a sec- uh-”

You’re so pliant in his arms. Lenient, unconcerned by anything, letting him have his way. At this point, you’d cry if he were not to help you release your growing orgasm, but you’d let him go away with anything as he ruined you beyond reparation, beyond sanity. You don’t mind him using you to get himself off, use you like his personal fucktoy and for some reason, having someone else, and Jungkook at that, being a witness to your desperation makes it all so much arousing.

When Taehyung sees you playing grabby hands, your tiny fingers aiming to reach weakly for Jungkook, he decides to be nice and let go of you so that you can lend on your friend's broad chest. It takes a second for you to tear his t-shirt up and attach your wet mouth to his cute brown nipple. And finally, you can hear him properly. He lets go of more of those sharp inhales now accompanied by poorly withheld moans. And he’s squirming under you. Trembling a bit, shuffling his butt on the spot, torn between shying away and offering himself for more. You indulge in his obvious pleasure. Kissing and sucking, twisting gently with your fingers his pretty nipples until Taehyung's thrusts turn wild and raw again, too raw for you to focus on anything else and you let yourself fall forward, until face buried in Jungkook’s crotch once more, you’re getting fucked through the strongest orgasm to ever pervade you. Your twitching walls are an unforgivable treat for Taehyung's cock who’s wrung of every drip of his cum.

It takes an eternity for you two to recover. Taehyung, unmoving, still holding your hips in his gigantic hands as to balance himself and holds himself down to earth and not simply fucking take a one-way flight to outer space or some shit. He’s breathing hard, head dipped forward as trickles of sweat fall from the tip of his nose and the pointy end of his chin.

“Fucking hell. I’m- shit, you feel good.” There's a pathetic snivel elevating from you. Apparently, it's enough of a contribution to the conversation since no one points it out. “Guk-ah, s’your turn. Good luck.” He says before he’s falling on his back, next to Jungkook, sighing loud like he’s just spent half of his life on just mounting you.

“I don’t think he has a turn left.” You mumble, chuckling a bit. Taehyung is not sure what you mean, assuming you want to be a tease and maybe deny your younger friend of his pass. But then you’re rolling on your back, glowing face split in a cute grin, watching upward to Jungkook's face who’s turned the deepest nuance of red up to the tip of his adorable ears. Taehyung's mouth shapes in a wolf-like grin as he reaches a hand over you to grab an unsubtle grip of his friends softening dick. He bursts in his typical thundering laughter because if the semi hardness is debatable, the wet spot wetting his palm is not.

“I think it’s hot, Jungkook.” You say kindly. You know from the deep frustration unfading on his handsome face and the cackle coming from Taehyung that you sound patronizing as fuck. Something like the typical: 'You’re doing great sweetie!' But you mean it. You genuinely mean it. Having a guy like him come in his pants potentially because of you is incredibly sexy and flattering.

“I think it’s cute.” Taehyung adds smiling like an asshole. Jungkook is infuriated when he turns to stare at his older friend. It’s the look he gives as a warning when he’s about to beat someone up.

But this time, you wonder if that look could mean anything else.

a/n: so this came to me in the middle of the night, following the Rockin’1000 concert i’d attended to and uhm... yea, this ensued. I mean can you guys imagine going to a rock concert/festival with Tae, I feel like that’s what would happen lmao. Didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted it but I hope you enjoy. Let me know your thoughts. kisses !

#taehyung smut #jungkook smut #btssmutclub #btswriterscollective #gukkienet #bts smut #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #my writing

712 notes · View notes

rushingheadlong · 4 years

Text

Okay, so here’s some longer ramblings about my Thoughts on Brian’s use of Queen songs in his solo tours… focusing mainly on the Back to the Light tour here because by the time Brian toured for Another World he had a VERY different opinion about and relationship with Queen (in that I think he had reached a much healthier place with regards to the band than where he was in the early 90s).

Also specific tour info and setlists are all mainly from QueenConcerts.com, I’m not citing anything specifically in-text this time, sorry.

So I’ve talked about some of this before, but basically two big things to keep in mind here are that:

Back to the Light was Brian’s first solo album and first solo tour. (The Star Fleet Project doesn’t count, as he never toured with it, never recorded it with the intention of releasing it, and the album liner notes literally say that it’s not a solo album.) While obviously he had experience touring with Queen, touring solo was an entirely new experience for him with challenges he hadn’t really faced before.

Brian really wanted nothing to do with Queen after Freddie’s death and not just in an immediate, “I’m grieving and we need to figure out how the band is moving forward,” sort of way either - Roger and John were the ones to start sorting out the remaining tapes to make Made in Heaven because Brian refused to help at first. (Yes some of that was because of the BttL tour, but he started helping between tour legs in 1993… there was no reason he couldn’t do the same in 1992 except he just didn’t want to.)

And because of both of those things I think Brian was caught in this place of needing to distance himself from Queen (to give himself space to grieve, to find himself as a solo musician, to build a new identity for himself in the wake of everything that happened in the late 80s/early 90s…) and also recognizing that he couldn’t do that for a wide variety of reasons.

For one thing, Brian didn’t really have enough solo material to fill out an entire setlist. Take a look at a typical setlist from the BttL tour:

23 songs (+ the band introduction) and a 2-song encore. Of those 23 songs, 8 were Queen songs, though not always the full song. The remaining 15 songs included 3 separate solos (not counting Last Horizon) and two cover songs (1812 overture and Since You’ve Been Gone). The encore is another cover song and a Queen song.

(Of the BttL songs that he didn’t play regularly on his tour, Rollin’ Over is technically a cover to begin with, Nothin’ But Blue and Just One Life are both slower songs which Brian seems to have limited in his setlist, and the last is I’m Scared which he may have had trouble adapting to be able to play it live, given the “Chaos Karaoke” section in the middle.)

The point being, that Brian really didn’t have enough solo material to flesh out an entire 1.5-2 hour concert and at this point he didn’t even have enough covers ready to perform like he would for Another World. Picking Queen music to supplement his setlist was the most logical choice to go with.

Brian also would have been in the position where he was simply known best for his work with Queen, and there’s some evidence that he struggled with getting enough recognition for the early legs of the BttL tour. The South American leg in 1992, for example, was only 5 concerts and then for portions of 1993 Brian was actually touring in support of Guns N’ Roses rather than headlining the shows himself. (The first North American leg in early 1993 was also apparently rather poorly promoted.)

So Brian may very well have realized that he needed to lean into the Queen fans who had followed him over to his solo career, at least to some extent - and this in itself might have put him in a difficult position because not only did he not want to tie himself to Queen at this point in time but he probably also had to tread carefully to make sure that he wasn’t seen as trying to “profit” from Freddie’s death or music that was by-and-large considered to be Freddie’s in origin.

And he seems to have handled that by choosing to play songs that he wrote himself. Love of My Life is an obvious exception but he clearly acknowledges during concerts that he’s playing it for Freddie, and even so that song had morphed into a Brian-and-Freddie song over the years anyway just by virtue of how it was performed live over the years. He also plays a snippet of Bohemian Rhapsody, but everything else from Queen on that “typical” setlist are his songs. Even one-off Queen songs are generally his, or else just small snippets of someone else’s song (like the Mustapha clip). No one can say that he’s trying to “profit” off of Queen and Freddie if he’s technically still playing only his own music.

(If we want to veer off into absolute baseless wild speculation for a moment... I do wonder if Brian might have had legal concerns about playing Queen’s music. I don’t know anything about Roger’s work with The Cross, but the BttL tour took place before any of Roger’s true solo tours so this would have been the first time the question of playing Queen music after the “end of Queen” came up. And, unfortunately, it does happen that when groups disband that there are sometimes legal restrictions put in place on who can play what songs on solo projects.)

(I’m not saying that this was something that happened with Queen and, frankly, I don’t think Roger or John would have cared if Brian had wanted to play “their” songs... but I can see Brian, who was already in a very unstable place with regards to his mental health, building this up to be an issue in his own mind and letting his anxiety and depression run wild with it, and ultimately deciding to head off any issues by only playing “his” songs instead.)

Stepping back into things we have proof for, for the most part Brian chose songs of his that were faster and heavier and put them in places in his setlist where he can “power through” them without needing to pay them any special attention or really acknowledge that these are Queen songs to begin with. This lets him keep the energy of his concerts up in general (important for gigs where he was the support act) but also lets him trade on Queen fans’ recognition of songs like Now I’m Here and Hammer to Fall - these songs are known in a way that his solo work wasn’t (and still isn’t), so people who came to his shows to see “Queen’s guitarist” get moments strategically interspersed throughout the concert where they’re given high-energy songs that they know and can enjoy.

And the placement of the Queen songs is very strategic. Brian doesn’t go more than three songs (or 3 songs and a solo) without playing a Queen song, and he ends his concerts with the upbeat and well-recognized Hammer to Fall so even if people had felt “meh” about his solo work they get to leave the concert with a favorite Queen song fresh in their minds instead.

I also think that despite his feelings about Queen and the fact that Brian very clearly struggled with how to handle his obligations to the band in the wake of Freddie’s death, there was probably some amount of comfort in playing familiar songs during this period of time - not only as a way of dealing with his grief, but also to give himself moments where he needed to be less “on” because he already knew these songs so well after years of playing them (and simply by virtue of the fact that he wrote them himself).

If you watch enough of Brian’s solo concerts you can start to notice that there are moments where he tends to forget that he is the lead singer now. He starts wandering the stage during the guitar bits and almost doesn’t make it back to his mic in time to sing again, especially during the Queen songs. And I think for Brian there might have been a feeling of needing his solo songs to be “perfect” because (in his eyes) that was going to make-or-break his career as a musician after the end of Queen, but he could be lax with Queen’s stuff because that’s who he was and he knew the fans would be happy enough to hear him nail the Hammer to Fall guitar solo that it wouldn’t matter if he almost missed singing the next verse.

And, like I mentioned before, these early tours were difficult. He was touring with a new band, he was a support act again instead of the headliner (which meant adjusting his set to fit the limited time he had), he had technical difficulties, he was touring with a new and probably temporary guitar tech… As much as he wanted to stand on his own, I’d imagine these tours were probably incredibly stressful especially in the beginning, and having a few moments to just play music that he knew like the back of his hand was probably a godsend for him.

But at the end of the day, Brian still had an incredibly conflicted relationship with Queen at this time. His cover of God (Dream Is Over) is literally about the ending of Queen and includes the line, “I don’t believe in being Queen anymore, I just believe in me - just you guys and me.” He very strongly felt that Queen was over and he wasn’t in a position where he could handle any obligations to the band, and he was deeply mourning not only his friend’s death but the loss of something that brought him immense happiness over the last 20 years of his life.

On the one hand, the very specific and calculated ways in which Brian incorporated Queen songs into his solo tours is reflective of his attempt to distance himself from the band - but at the same time, Brian has said that returning to touring was like “therapy” for him after Freddie’s death, and I do think that by trying to be strategic about how he used Queen in his solo shows he inadvertently created a situation where he could work through his feelings about the band in an extremely controlled and positive environment.

Rather than being left to flounder and find a way forward on his own, he could go out and perform a carefully curated selection of Queen tracks to crowds that would respond positively and remind him that this music was still loved. He could play Love of My Life for Freddie and get it sung back to him and share his pain and grief with others so he wasn’t alone with it. He could give it his all performing his new music and then take a step back with a Queen song and just breathe and recognize everything that was good and was working for him in those moments.

And I think the fact that the tours were a source of healing for him is a large reason why he started working with Roger and John on Made in Heaven in the fall of 1993, even though he continued touring through mid-December, especially considering that he didn’t join them between tour legs earlier in 1992-1993. Granted, he probably would have eventually joined them regardless but I definitely think that if the BttL tours hadn’t been as therapeutic as they were he would have joined them later, and we probably would have gotten a very different album for Made in Heaven than what the final product did end up being.

(As a final sidenote, it’s worth noting that during his Another World tours Brian had roughly the same ratio of Queen songs to other material, except the bulk of Queen songs were played in one large chunk in the middle of his shows rather than strategically spread throughout the setlist. It seems like rather than building his concerts so slower songs were bookended by faster/heavier songs, he chose to put Queen songs in the middle surrounded by his solo material and covers - possibly because he didn’t feel like he needed to rely on Queen’s material to get him through a show, but he still wanted to acknowledge that music and that chapter of his life especially now that he was in a better place at least in terms of his relationship with Queen.)

#brian may #text #ramblings #anyway I think this is most of my thoughts about this?#there's a lot going on here but I mean it's Brian I always have a lot to say about him lmfao #brian #bmb

71 notes · View notes

kjissexy1994 · 3 years

Text

WORDS OF SHAKESPEARE: ALBUMS OF SUCKAGE: Limp Bizkit-Results May Vary

The year was 2001, Nu Metal was riding high with bands such as Alien Ant Farm with their cover of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal,” Linkin Park had a dynamic debut with Hybrid Theory and of course Jacksonville’s Red capped dynamos Limp Bizkit were still breathing in the success of their third album suggestively titled “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water” with tracks such as “My Generation,” “Boiler” and of course “Rollin (Air Raid Vehicle)” famously used as the entrance theme of legendary professional wrestler The Undertaker in the WWE (then known as WWF) during 2001 when he had the guise of the “American Badass” biker gimmick, but however with Limp Bizkit still embroiled with the controversy over the crushing and death of 15 year old Jessica Michalik during their infamous set at the 2001 Big Day Out Festival in Sydney and the Announcement of guitarist and heart and soul of the group, Wes Borland parting ways with the band to focus on side projects and his other band “Big Dumb Face,” left Fred Durst to pick up the pieces to record their fourth album.

As the band went through six guitarists during recording of the album (including Fred Durst and Bassist Sam Rivers) They went on a nationwide search for a new guitarist with the “Put Your Guitar Where Your Mouth Is” competition, Limp Bizkit then settled with former Snot guitarist Mike Smith and recorded a number of songs for the album which went through name changes with “Bipolar,” “Panty Sniffer,” “Less is More,” “The Search for Teddy Swoes,” before ultimately going with the generic and subtle “Results May Vary.”

Most of the songs recorded with Smith were cut due to executive meddling by Durst and it showed resulting in a depressing puerile mishmash of heavy and bleak tracks.

This album received a massive tonne of negative reception when it was released in September of 2003 after numerous delays, being ranked in at number 3 as the lowest scored album behind “Playing with Fire” by Kevin Federline. It was even being touted by some people as the album that “killed Nu Metal” which is a genre I loathe entirely as it was in a deep decline during that year.

Let’s go in the deep hole of RMV to hear why this album goes into the mantle of an “Album of SUCKAGE.”

RE-ENTRY

The intro track consists of a circus barker yelling to a kid (voiced by Fred Durst) for sixty seconds explaining about Limp Bizkit as “the most ferociously soothing ways of sonic communication to ever be created”

Okay, so I guess they were trying to copy the “Insane Clown Posse” here?

Then it bursts in a generic rock riff with Fred Durst telling people that all around the world knows him, slowing down and fading out with a drum beat... that’s it.

I mean, I was expecting the guitar riff to build up to something exciting instead of this. I know it’s only an intro, but I do know that it’ll go down hill from here on followed by the first single of this album known as...

EAT YOU ALIVE

This song running for four minutes is outright disturbing, the lyrics, the main chorus even the music video featuring Fred Durst kidnapping Thora Birch in a forest, spraying her with gasoline and screaming into a megaphone to her whilst the band plays! The lyrics consists of Durst singing about wanting a girl to look at him and having a strong desire to “sniff her panties?” *VOMITS!* If you ever said those lyrics to a girl that you love in real life, she would immediately break up with you and be warranted a restraining order. The drums and bass sound generic and the guitar work tries to build this up as some sort of a fight song which immediately fails to do so...this was also the first single of this album. THIS WAS THE FIRST SINGLE OF THIS ALBUM...I am not making this up, why on earth would Limp Bizkit release this as the first single of this album, not to mention getting a disturbing music video?

Ugh...

GIMME the Mic

This track is just another generic Nu Metal sounding track, the guitars sound very pungent in aggression but the rest of the instruments deliver nothing. The main hook is heavily sampled from Eric B and Rakin’s Microphone Fiend, later covered by Rage Against The Machine (which I kind of dislike due to their political beliefs) On their posthumous “Renegades” covers album as Limp Bizkit are downright infamous for sampling hooks such as the main chorus of Nine Inch Nails’

“Closer” for their expletive laden song titled “Hot Dog” on “Chocolate Starfish”. Add in Durst’s trademark whiny anger, pathetic song writing and rapping and you have a stinky sounding Nu Metal song that can be made on a “Nu Metal Band Maker” software. Aggressive generic riffs, whiny angry lyrics, fake b-grade angst: profit!

No wonder why that this album and the cover song that I’ll get to later on is one of the factors that killed mainstream Nu Metal in 2003! Next!

UNDERNEATH THE GUN

This song is the first in the number of songs that Fred shows his singing ability and it just sounds absolutely bland and Monotonous. The instruments such as Sam Rivers on the drums and the chords on the guitar have very good delivery and build up in the bridge, but it just sounds absolutely hindered with Fred trying to stay awake singing a song about “suicide and the struggle you have when ending your life becomes an option” with such a dull melody and it goes on for almost six minutes...I mean why did many red Yankees cap wearing Limp Bizkit fans fall for buying this album? The sad sad fact that it sold more copies than any Motörhead albums baffles me extremely. Our god Lemmy must be turning in his grave...

DOWN ANOTHER DAY

Jesus tap dancing Christ, we go from Fred’s whiny anger fuelled tirades to another mellow monotone delivery about our hero singing about missing his summer love (presumably Britney Spears during his somewhat extremely messy affair during the recording of “In the Zone”) and having to deal with the next winter. The lyrics in the main chorus and bridge are repetitive as hell and the instruments are just nearly nonexistent with little or no effort, not to mention that this song is also plagued with very pathetic songwriting...just garbage time indeed...

ALMOST OVER

Yet another extremely repetitive track, explaining Durst’s life from growing up learning how to rap, taking a lot of crap, and being treated as a clown as a little boy to learning how to lose and getting treated as a clown as an older man. Fred rhymes the end of the verses with the words “Little Boy,” and “Older Man” 16 times and the word “Baby” 19 times, totalling up to 51 times!

Another song wrecked by abysmal songwriting from the red capped turd himself, The instruments are getting worse with every track sounding more and more generic with little or no build up, which is sad because Sam Rivers, John Otto and Mike Smith are such good musicians but are being hindered heavily due to Durst’s whiny vocals...the next track should be good, can it?

BUILD A BRIDGE

Ehhh...okay, this song has a bog standard melody and instruments with such a strong build up in the bridge but it’s passable at least, this song features Brian “Head” Welch from KoRn who is a very talented guitarist and perhaps one of the only Nu Metal bands I can tolerate listening to, but his ability is kind of wasted here due to Durst’s sub par ability to sing, not to mention these are one of the songs rumoured to be impulsively directed to Britney Spears. Imagine being one of the guitarists of one of the bands that invented the “Nu Metal” genre only to record a song about being involved with one the most popular pop singers of the time of release?

“LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” - Chris Croker, 2007

RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT (Featuring Snoop Dogg)

Another Rap/Hip Hop duet with one of the biggest rap/ hip hop legends, and still it’s repetitive as hell despite the funky beat from DJ Lethal as well as Snoop Dogg calling Fred Durst his “nephew” with the lyric “Snoop dogg is in the place to see, do it with my nephew Freddy d.”

You have no relation with this pile of gutter trash whatsoever!!!

This song is attempting to repeat the success with “N 2 Gether Now” featuring Method Man four years earlier in “Significant Other” but it fails massively with Fred’s lyrics in the first and third verses ending with “Baby” 25 times with the same word repeated 10 times in the main chorus totalling up to 35 times. I would be ashamed to have been Snoop to record a duet with who used to be one of the biggest people in music during Limp Bizkit’s popularity from 1999-2001 not to mention rapping a duet to call him his “nephew!”

The bonus track “Take It Home” which heavily samples the song “Milk and Honey” by Bonnie Dobson is another sub par effort having Fred repeat the lyric “Crying Myself To Sleep” whilst DJ Lethal jams....NEXT!

THE ONLY ONE

Mike Smith is trying to do an acceptable riff or two which I praise for but the effort is just completely wasted, this song is just another whinge-fest with lyrics about using terms of having sex and making out such as “first base” (again presumably directed to Britney) but it just sounds absolutely whiny and generic with Fred singing with heavily instrumentation behind him as he repeatedly screaming the word “NOTHING!” Towards the end and it just ends after that.

Such a putrid mess...

Oh and the lyric “It’s No Big Deal?”

It is a big deal when you’re trying to record a follow up to your previous multi platinum when your most talented member leaves and you have to pick up the pieces with six guitarists, two being yourself and Sam Rivers.

LET ME DOWN

“Let Me Down” has a lot of effort but has simple and dull instrumentation and Durst sounds a lot better than the previous tracks, but however the lyrics are very iffy such as “Heartbreak is a Headache, like a toothquake or an earthquake” “Spontaneous Combustion leaves a taste that’s so disgustin’” and “Rumours are Tumours?” Whilst this song is somewhat passable it’s still coming from a 33 year old at the time whining about life and struggles.

LONELY WORLD

Another song about Fred Durst, whining about his past life such as hating high school with bullies trying to put him down as well as making out with his gothic girlfriend out in the creek whilst his mother was asleep along with gross lyrics such as “Just a little skater boy they could pick on

I learned to forgive 'em

Now I got the balls they can lick on”

Jesus Christ Fred! You were 33 years old at the time of release! Just do us a favour and grow up at least. The main chorus and bridge is still very tedious repeating the main title of the song in a total of 37 times. Un-fucken-believable!

PHENOMENON

After what would’ve been an extremely energetic guitar intro from Mike Smith, The band just slams on the breaks with our hero Fred introducing himself as “the incredible, subliminal, the INFREDIBLE D.”

Here we go again with copy, pasting and editing lyrics of other music groups songs and claiming them your own (the song being Bring the Noize with Anthrax featuring Public Enemy).

The main chorus has a lot of effort but the verses, consisting of Fred Durst’s cruisy rapping,

Not to mention the section after the bridge references “Pollution” from their debut album from 1997 “Three Dollar Bill Y’all” which contains the lyric “Gonna Bring that beat back” which is perhaps the only good album from the band themselves (apart from that Faith cover).

“Phenomenon” is just a ratty mishmash of heavy instrumentation in the main chorus and laidback rapping from Fred in the verses.

CREAMER (RADIO IS DEAD)

Another song with Fred Durst taking an aim against the haters proclaiming “Take a look at me now I’m Mr Worldwide and you’re nothing!” But it contains such sucky lyrics and rhymes such as “Mr Halitosis-of the Breath” and verses and the main chorus such as “Hateraid”, and “rolling dice and getting laid” respectively. Fred also believes that “Radio is Dead. Why’s that? Because many radio stations worldwide won’t play your shoddy music anymore? (Unlike Triple M that continues the play that song in two tracks time) plus what’s with the title “Creamer?” A Frank reference to ejaculation? A quick fact, A massive portion of the song was recycled from Limp Bizkit’s unfinished cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax” which was intended to be in the Ben Stiller movie “Zoolander” hence the title being in the second verse” and Fred Durst’s “blink and you’ll miss it” cameo in the aforementioned movie. Ben Stiller is his “favourite motherfucker” after all.

HEAD FOR THE BARRICADE

An energetic, aggressive fight song against bullying which blatantly references the 1999 Columbine High School shooting in the intro, not paying respect to the victims? How fucking low is that? This song also heavily borrows the refrain “Stick Em, Ha Ha Ha Stick Em!” From The Fat Boys song titled “Human Beatbox” for the main chorus which most of the album and previous albums before it samples lyrics from other songs. Another lyric that catches my ear is “The World can make you sick to your stomach so I put on my headphones and listen to the “Deftones.”

Yeah, I’d rather listen to a huge dose of Deftones after listening to this pile of puke.

I praise the guitar work and build up from Mike Smith which shows his full potential in this song as his talent was heavily wasted in this album, but I still criticise this song for deliberately referencing the shooting tragedy at Columbine High School with no respect to the victims families. You’ve just damaged your reputation with this song in this album Fred, oh wait...it’ll be damaged even further with the next track....

Now we’re getting to the “shitty gritty” of this album...one of the...most disrespectful covers...that still gets played on Triple M seventeen years after it’s original release...and what cemented its place as the cover song that signalled the death of mainstream Nu Metal...

*WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE USED HEAVILY*

BEHIND BLUE EYES (THE WHO COVER)

*VIOLENTLY VOMITS INTENSELY*

WHERE DO I FUCKING BEGIN WITH THIS PILE OF MONKEY SHIT?

This cover of a classic rock ballad from The Who, one of my favourite rock bands of all time from my favourite albums “Who’s Next” is just indescribably DISRESPECTFUL, PUTRID AND WEAK AS PISS!!! Complete from the non existent sampled guitar work, Fred Durst’s inability to sing with his monotonous delivery of vocals and the dreary sound effects in the main chorus sounding like when you turn on a Sony PlayStation 2.

There is absolutely NO EMOTION in this cover at all! In the original version from The Who, Roger Daltrey sings this song with heavy emotion plus he sounds very angry in the bridge section. And where is the bridge section in this cover exactly? Oh...it’s replaced with a Speak N Spell, A FUCKING SPEAK N SPELL saying “Discover” and spelling “L.I.M.P” part of their terrible band name that’s named after a disgusting sex game in Britain, not to mention, Fred’s statement that he’s not telling lies is another stealthy direction to Britney Spears FOR FUCKS SAKE! I thought that I was hearing a demo version of song containing the section with the Speak N Spell during the instrumental break and Fred whining about “being sorry and not telling lies” would be a placeholder recorded before Mike Smith joined hoping that they would record a much more aggressive, rap heavy version of the bridge from the original but nope! They apparently released this absolute joke of a cover as it is! Was it really such an absolutely bright idea to bastardise such a classic “The Who” song from one of my favourite albums of all time? At least Faith No More knew what they were doing when they recorded their cover of Lionel Richie and The Commodores’ “Easy” on the rerelease of “Angel Dust.” Surely a verse was absent in that cover, but at least it was slightly faithful to the original version. (Still makes me sick that Limp Bizkit opened up for FNM during their American leg of the “Album of the Year” tour in September and October of 1997.) Did you know that song also got an awful music video to promote the 2003 movie Gothika (which this song appeared in) where Fred Durst tongue wrestles Halle Berry in a Psychiatric Ward?

The fact that this was the second single from this neanderthalic mess of an album, charting in at number 4 on the Aria Charts in 2003/04 not to mention being overplayed on mainstream radio stations such as Triple M to prove that Limp Bizkit had a soft side makes me undesirably sad to this very day...

Truely such a horrible cover song in rock, and don’t get me started on that cover of George Michael’s “Faith” that is the same level of absurdity of this song.

The song features another bonus track titled “All That Easy” featuring another monotonous delivery of lyrics with a simple beat from DJ Lethal...it just sounds like a song from a dollar shop Massive Attack...

DROWN

The final track on this album is yet another sad, mellow, monotonous melody from Fred complete with the repetitive chords from his guitar (one of the few songs to feature Fred playing guitar prior to Mike Smith joining the band). There’s nothing to describe about the half asleep sounding lyrics but it’s just absolutely sluggish at best and just another garbage time track to end this massive garbage fire of an album.

FINAL VERDICT ON WHY THIS TAKES THE TITLE OF THE ALBUM OF SUCKAGE

“Results May Vary” is nothing but an album filled with monotonous, lyrically repetitive songs, mostly directed to Britney Spears for being left out of writing for “In the Zone” as well as stated by on and off again guitarist Wes Borland as “Fred Durst’s solo project.” A massive chunk of songs were cut from this album such as “Crack Addict” which was performed live at WWE Wrestlemania 19 in Seattle earlier that year in 2003, “Just Drop Dead,” another bloody song directed to Britney Spears which appeared as a B-Side of “Behind Blue Eyes, “Why”, Lean on Me,” and their double cover of “Home Sweet Home and Bittersweet Symphony” originally performed by Motley Crüe and The Verve respectively, the latter three songs being put on the “Greatest Hitz” compilation two years later. Other songs that were cut from RMV, were titled “Press Your Luck,” “Poison Ivy,” “Cowgirls from Hell,” “Shot,” “Armpit,” “When it Rains,” “Let it Go,” the subtlety titled “Masterbation,” “Lean On Me” and others. However these songs wouldn’t have saved this album from being such a colossal disaster and a huge reliance of being a schadenfreude to various haters of the Nu Metal genre like me!

“Results May Vary” is Limp Bizkit’s equivalent to Metallica’s St Anger which was released the same year three months earlier. St Anger got a massive tonne of negativity when it was originally released but later got a huge amount of love and respect over the years. RMV will never have that type of respect as it simply nuked the careers of Limp Bizkit following its release. Limp Bizkit later released its EP titled “The Unquestionable Truth” with Wes Borland returning two years later and it’s comeback album “Gold Cobra,” with “The Stampede of the Disco Elephants” forever burning in Development Hell but the unsalvageable damage had already been done by then, and that’s why I give it the mantle as

THE ALBUM OF SUCKAGE!

Happy Trails...

#limp bizkit #words of shakespeare #results may vary #eat you alive #behind blue eyes #2003 #undertaker #nookie #fred Durst #Mike Smith #Wes Borland #build a bridge #albums of suckage #what were they thinking

1 note · View note

sweetrosetta-martin · 3 years

Text

Beatle tag (cause why not ✌💗)

I’m new to this fandom online, so what best way to present myself but doing this (plz don't kill me guys I come in peace).

But I do have to give an special to @sgt-revolver cause thanks to their post I decided to do it.

How long have you been a fan ?: About two years if I’m not wrong, but god it has been two intense ones. Long story short, this band never was part of my life (grew up in a different culture) until the day I was reading some fanfiction in AO3 and stumbled across one about them. I then found out they were the guys behind “Let it be” and “Here comes the sun” so I decided do dig even deeper..... (Now I’m here simping and crying to their music at 2am) 🙃

Favorite Beatle: Used to be Paul (man got a charm) but when I better discovered George as a hole human being, and not only a Beatle, I went 💥. Tho, sometimes I do get frustrated with him and stay on John’s side cause he was lowkey relatable and a big bi-disaster mood. (I suddenly feel bad for Rings.... srry bro )

Favorite era for music: At the beginning I didn't like the mop top era and practically only listened from Help! to then end, but now I appreciate each period as a part of the band’s musical history and can’t help to fangirl to most songs. (Tho I’ll always have a soft spot for 1966)

Favorite era for lewks: Each Beatles had its own I think. Ringo as a teddy boy (he looks like the bad boy of your dreams), George in 65` (longer hair but not to long and just overlay hotness) and Paul/John in 66`. (The perfect balance between early and late looks)

Favorite song: Guess it depends on my mood, but it’s surely a tight between “Strawberry fields forever”, “Happiness is a warm gun”, “Lovely Rita” “While my guitar gently weeps”, “Don't bother me” and “Across the universe”. (This is such an unfair question xd)

Favorite album: Honestly I just can’t decide.. Its prob either “The Beatles (aka white album)”, “With the Beatles” or “Revolver”

Unpopular/Controversial Beatles opinion: “Revolution 9″ is not an unlistenable song and has an actual artistic value. I mean, I don’t think is a song meant to be listened during a car ride, but I do think it encapsulates pretty well the chaotic and changing vibe of the late 60s. This song makes you feel unwell because it’s meant to. Despite that, I do believe it should not have been included on the album, but rather as a John/Yoko project. (Ik Geo had a input though)

A song everyone loves but you dislike: Never was the biggest fan of “Come together” or “With a little help from my friends”. They are not necessarily bad, but rather average for me

A song everyone dislikes but you love: “Run for your life”... I know the lyrics are quite nasty but its so catchy and I love George’s guitar in it. I also really like “Dizzy Miss Lizzy”, but I don’t know if it really is that unpopular among people

Your fantasy involving The Beatles: The PG one or the ??..

JK, but I would have love to meet them during their cavern/casbah days. Like about 1961, just to chat with them about rock n roll and even jam some songs. (Even if I’m not sure that I would love to do that as a girl or a guy). And I sincerely wish I could just have some deep conversations with George and John while we share a joint . I just wish I could have known them better...

Tell us about the moment you knew you were a fan: When returning home after a long school day I decided to look after some live material (At the time I only knew like 4 songs). I put YouTube on my tv, and found “She loves you” . I was not the same girl after watching that video. If I could explain how I suddenly felt so much joy and excitement looking at them that I even started singing and dancing. The rest is history 😉

Did you ever have a genuine ‘The Beatles suck !’ phase before becoming a fan?: Because their music was not around me 24/7 growing up, I never got fed up with their music. For me almost everything was new and interesting, so I never had a hater phase

Favorite Beatle’s book: Have not read any for the moment, but I’m dying to buy Cynthia’s and May’s books. (Also the autobiography “I me mine” by George)

Thoughts on the old generation of fans: Even if the few experiences I’ve had with them have not been good, I know most of them are chill people. I also love some podcasts made by first or second gen fans. The only thing that I dislike, is the average boomer who will claim they know more than you cause they were alive at the time, even if the only song they know its “Hey Jude” . (Or those who treat John as a saint, and blame the hole break-up on Paul... smh)

If Hollywood were to make a high budget Beatles biopic, what is one thing you desperately hope they include?: I wish they wont do it (We already got enough movies), but if they do something, it would be better if it was a series and not a film. If it had to happen, they better not forget how young the guys really were and how they were actual people. I know they were ground-breaking in so many ways, but they were also human beings with many defaults and even a bit naïve in some aspects. If you only give me a wife-beater (nasty) John, delicate flower Paul, silent George and dumb Ringo, the cartoon series has done a better job than you.

Do you read/write fanfic: One word.... Yes... *Hides her unfinished drafts*

Are you the only one in your family/friend group to enjoy them?: Sadly yes. I have to force my dad to play some Beatle music while driving cause most of the music he plays is raegetton, and even if I’m proud of my Latino roots.. I’ll do salsa or merengue anytime but not some Bad Bunny ok.

Are you a shipper?: Yup

Favorite movie starring/made by them?: Help!.. I mean I also love AHDN, but it’s just so funny to see them run around being high af as they play music despite Ringo being in mortal danger. (Also the visuals we get each song just give me such a MTV vibe. Its genuinely beautiful)

Do you believe in McLennon?: *smirks at the camera*

General opinions on McLennon?: Oh boy. The Lennon/McCartney relationship is one that seems out of my grandma telenovelas. From Paris to the breakup, their story is one of up and downs, but they never really stopped loving each other. Not even death could stop their link as Paul still dreams of him and thinks about John when composing songs. I understand that not everyone may be convinced that something really happened, but I think we all should be open to the possibility.

If you got to change ONE thing about their history, what would be and why?: Brian’s death. The beginning of the end was the moment he passed away. With Brian the band would still have broke up (All things must pass, even the good ones), but it would have been less messed up. No Paul trying to take the lead a bit too much, Apple Corps probably being better handled and no Allen Klein messing up everything. (And probably no Yoko in the studio but that may be a bit of a stretch)

What song has the best vocals?: As a group, “Because” it’s probably the one. Such a simple, yet perfectly well put vocals. The peak of their talent for harmonizing in my opinion. In another side “Oh Darling!” is prob Paul best and John’s voice in “This Boy” always get me

What song do you feel had no effort put into it?: Prob an unpopular opinion but “Eight Days a Week” is such a basic song. It’s not innovative, it just uses the formula, and I feel like around this time the guys were kind of tired and just fabricated the song to be a single. It simply not feels genuine, and for me it shows the biggest problem from the “Beatles for Sale” era.

What is a well talked moment in Beatles history you genuinely believe to be false?: The way Yoko met John. The most known story is that they met each other at a Yoko art gallery, but many sources (such a Cynthia or Brian personal assistant) tell us a complete different truth. I do believe she knew the band, stalked John and force herself into his life, despite of the romantic tale she keeps repeating.

What is something you KNOW to be true, but often gets erased in their history: John. So many things about John. Many see him as only a funny character and ignore so many cues that he was a man struggling with his own self esteem to the point of having eating disorders. Not forgetting his fluid sexuality, the fact that many think that as house husband all his problems went away or that he was a wife beater. John was more than the “Imagine” martyr or monster so many people (even some fans) make out of him.

Least favorite look from a Beatle(s): Ringo in the Help! movie. Horrible mushroom hair 😂

Favorite look from a Beatle(s): George Harrison in the “Hey Bulldog”/”Lady Madonna” videoclip. (I also want that cherry SG Standard so bad omg)

I really don’t know how many others have done it but here are my tags

@rocknroll-imagines @moreofthatdrowse @cultofbeatle @joan-deserved-the-silver-hammer

Thanks a lot guys !! ❤✌🥦🐘🎵😎

#loved this #the beatles #beatles

2 notes · View notes

a-cai-jpg · 4 years

Text

if you’ll stay with me, we can rewrite the rules of the universe

"does she have to go away? can't they just live together happily?" - director son, melo is my nature

there's an idiom in chinese that i think about a lot.

天下没有不散的酒席

the first time i heard it, it was season 2 of a drama i loved as a kid--three years old, sitting too close to an old, heavy color television, my cousin warm by my elbow, and my grandmother's voice drifting in from the kitchen.

(it's a technicolor memory, filtered a little yellow with age.)

season 3 of this drama is something i try to never watch.

first of all, they changed the cast, and even though leo ku is a beautiful man, he couldn't replace the legend, alec su.

(we don't talk about the new female lead.)

second of all, shit hits the fan and the character i loved the most becomes the character i hated the most.

third of all,

the idiom becomes true.

(there is no such thing as a banquet that never ends.)

see, the drama is about two girls who meet each other in historical beijing and become sworn sisters despite being polar opposites of each other. where one is gentle and demure, the other is reckless and brash. one of them (guess which?) happens to be the long-lost daughter of the sitting emperor. the other girl promises to help her reach her father. after a series of unfortunate events, the emperor crowns the wrong girl as princess. season 1 is about the fake princess sneaking the real princess into the palace, their struggles with palace life and figuring out a way for the emperor to recognize his real daughter without executing his fake one, and them falling in love--one with the 5th prince and the other with a son of a palace official.

eventually, the misunderstandings are addressed, and the emperor realizes he loves both girls too much to have harm come to either of them, so he recognizes both as his daughters. more things happen, but eventually, the two girls get married, and it's happily ever after.

BUT.

but they decided to make a season 3.

(in hindsight, it makes sense, because the non-blood related princess could have never lived a happy life caged in the palace, but it's nice to dream ok)

season 3 ends with the non-blood related princess and the prince she marries (my childhood crush) leaving the palace for good, and thereby giving up the throne, to live in yunnan. many, many years later, a carriage arrives at their tea field, and it's the emperor visiting them during the last years of his very long reign.

even writing this really poorly-articulated synopsis can bring me to tears. it's not an ending i can watch without crying.

(i can still see the ending in my mind's eye. the scarf around her hair, the basket of tea leaves by her side, the sound of children laughing and the carriage rolling to a stop. they see erkang first. yongqi and xiao yanzi greet him and their laughter is wild from happiness. but then erkang lifts the curtain to the carriage, and the emperor steps down from the coach.)

(the moment yongqi drops to his knees and says 皇阿玛 is usually when i start bawling.)

(the end end is them riding the carriage together, singing, and the words 全剧终 appear on screen, and you can almost fool yourself into believing that the carriage just continues on until they are back in the palace, ten years into the past.)

i like endings where everyone stays in one place.

senior year of high school, i watched a drama where the ending was a group of friends, who had bound together to conquer evil, literally all going their own ways and the main character dying, and i was so traumatized, i cried for three hours, shakily typing up my english essay through a curtain of tears until 6am in the morning.

when i finally went to bed the following night, i rewrote the ending in my head.

maybe because i was so tired, or maybe because the pain was too raw and not something i wanted to face, i managed to convince my sleep-addled brain that the drama actually ended with the female lead gathering the remnants of the male lead's soul, finding an elder in the snow-capped mountains (which is the setting where the drama leaves us), bringing him back to life, and the two of them returning home, where their friends have gathered to welcome him back.

this remains my most successful daydream yet (nightdream?), because i can still see the fabricated scenes play out in my head, the imagined emotions on the actor's faces, the ghost of a soundtrack playing in the background.

there's still a very, very large part of me that likes for everyone to stay in one place.

but maybe it's getting used to reality, or maybe it's me viscerally feeling how difficult it is to stay in a place for too long, i've slowly started to accept people dispersing.

i used to not understand those scenes in dramas where old friends who have moved away come to visit the main character for just one afternoon, because in my head, i would always think wow, i would've had them stay. my friends would've stayed the week.

but see, time doesn't move in a way that lets us stroll in the past for a very long time. now, i'm grateful for the hours taken out of a night to meet with familiar faces and make plans for a future we know might not happen. i swallow the faint wrenching feeling when we bid goodbye, and continue my own solitary journey home, and through life.

but in the end, we move through the world alone and with nothing.

there's still a very, very large part of me that likes for everyone to stay in one place, but i'm guilty of leaving.

you'd think after four years, i'd be used to not knowing what home is, but i'm still a little scared of going away.

i don't know what i'll do with my room when i do. i don't know what to do with the posters on the walls (magazines cut-outs from high school still posted above the living room desk that has long not been mine), or my mountain of books that spill into every room in the house, or my keyboard sitting heavily above my bureau, or my guitar stashed by my closet, or my upright.

i don't know when i'll play my upright again, and that thought in itself really hurts.

i used to do this thing where i count the number of hours i'll be able to spend time with another person. i used to do it with my grandparents and it's honestly the most painful exercise of all time.

i try not to do it now, and as i write this, i'm actively pushing the process out of my mind, because i know i'll be able to calculate the number of hours left i can live in this house.

in my final story for my creative writing project, someone says this to the main character, "You were banking on us to preserve this idealistic vision of the past--to stay the same--so that when you got tired of being an adult, you could return home to us. But, we were growing too. Maybe we were growing in tandem with each other, but out of sync with you."

this is a line buried in the text among many other sentences that i think are a lot more beautiful. but, this is the line that took me over two weeks to write. for the first time, i tried to put the anxiety and regret i felt for four years into words.

(that sort of reckoning is akin to pulling out your chordae tendineae through your esophagus and wrestling them into something worth presenting to the world.)

see, i want to experience the world, get to know foreign lands over the period of a couple of years, call the hidden corners of large cities home, visit mountain tops and build a life there, but i don't want the world to change.

part of it is because if it does, i'll never get to know the world. the japan i'll see in the future will never be the japan i saw last year and the japan i missed this year.

part of it is because life is a long, tiresome process of getting used to the new. as i grow up and out of this two-story condo, i am constantly having to digest this larger, more nuanced picture of the world. but, sometimes i get tired and i want to fall back on something familiar.

sometimes, that something familiar changes, and you're left utterly, completely alone.

i'm more used to this process now. i'm no longer so bothered by it that i balk at the idea of my parents moving.

i still feel unsettled when i think about the coming four years and the years after that and the notion that really, this bed i'm sleeping in is not going to be my bed anymore.

and this time, it seems like it will be permanent.

i was watching this variety show with a singer i like very much yesterday night, laughing and crying, and wrote this next bit in chinese.

i'll translate it here.

hua chenyu is a very peculiar existence in my heart.

i don't particularly love his voice, but i view his music as a sort of standard for all pop music. he has changed a lot since 2013, when he first debuted, but he still has this aura of aloofness, maybe because of his single-minded obsession with music.

but, when i saw him lift his head to look at his college bandmates on a large screen, over a webcam, the love and happiness in his slightly reddened eyes were indisputable. in that moment, the look of nostalgia and wistfulness in his gaze suddenly made me think that he's grown up a little, aged a little.

(this following part i wrote in english)

they performed a song they used to play a lot in college over some sort of webcamming interface.

but, see, there is a difference.

i used to think that it didn't matter how far away my friends were from me, because technology has taken distance and shrunken it to a few lines of text or a phone call. but, there's something irreplaceable about the voice of a person you love without the tinny grain of the mic, about the warmth of another someone next to you that you can lean against.

sometimes, we are lucky and for a few years of our lives, we have someone who can understand the messy scrawl over a few pages of our stories. sometimes, we are lucky, and that someone takes up chapters and arcs.

(isn't that a very nice thought.)

(华晨宇在我心中是一个很神奇的存在。我并不是特别喜欢他的声音，可是我就是会以他的音乐为目标，为典范。他从2013年刚开始参加快男到现在变了很多。但他一直有一种拒人于千里之外的感觉，也许是因为他对音乐的执着。可是当我看见他抬头看着在屏幕上的大学乐队成员。。。他泛红眼里的爱和快乐是不可忽视的。在那一瞬间他眼中的留恋突然让我觉得他好像长大了一点，老了一点。)

(i'm like weirdly proud because i couldn't have written this two years ago. see, reading in a different language really helps you learn that language. too bad my students never LiStEnEd.)

(i realize i talk about this creative writing story a lot. it's because it is my story. the story of me and my largest 心结. something like that.)

(maybe i'll post it one day.)

(or maybe not.)

song rec: kevin oh - mortifying love

glossary: the first drama mentioned is 还珠格格 (princess returning pearl erkang = son of the palace official, married to the blood related princess yongqi = 5th prince, one of the most tragic existences in chinese history xiao yanzi = the princess returning pearl, the non-blood related princess, married to yongqi 皇阿玛 = in the qing dynasty, princes and princesses who were sons and daughters of the emperor had to call their father by this greeting 全剧终 = the end the second drama mentioned is 古剑奇谭·(legend of the ancient sword) 心结 = literally, heart knot. i don’t know how to translate it, but i liken it to the freudian concept of a fixation...?

#i feel like everything i write is so depressing #maybe i should just talk about the things i like #maybe the next post is going to be me talking about my top 9 picks for youth with you 2

1 note · View note

eternaljouska · 5 years

Text

Falling for You - Hong Jisoo

Pairing: Idol!Joshua x Reader

Genre: Fluff, but not quite there (?)

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I wrote this last year and uploaded it on Wattpad, but I’ve taken it down since I was not confident with it. I mentioned this on my 100-note-selflebration for Redamancy’s chapter 1, so I guess, here we go.

The sun has set, yet you are still strolling aimlessly on the busy street of Hongdae. Your mind is trying hard to come up with a decision whether or not you’re going to continue your study here in Seoul. This past semester has been fun and exciting, but it’s also been hard. Up until now you only have a few close friends--well, it's not like you have a lot of them in your hometown, but at least you’d never felt lonely since you lived with your family.

You’re walking past a café when from the corner of your eyes you catch a glimpse of a white guitar hung on one side of its wall. It’s too similar to the one you have back home, and all of a sudden, the urge to play is impossible to resist.

You step into the café, sight fixated on the guitar. And once inside, you realize that there are other instruments placed on various spots on a higher platform beside the counter.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Miss?" You’re snapped out of your little observation by a boy's voice. He is tall and quite familiar to you, but you’re too preoccupied to think about anything else at the moment.

"One cappuccino, please. And... um, are those instruments for the customer to play or do you have your own band?" you manage to say. By this time, you’ve cast your glance towards the white guitar again.

"That is the concept of our café, Miss. Any customer is allowed to go to the stage and play whatever song on whatever instrument they want. No judgment. You can come up there, and I will serve your order after you are done playing. Have fun, Miss."

"Thank you."

After the waiter bows and leaves you, you throw your gaze around the café to see that there aren't many people inside. It calms your nerve a little bit. If you close your eyes, you’ll be able to imagine that you’re playing to yourself in your balcony. You walk slowly towards the white guitar and caress its body while taking a few deep breaths until you’ve gathered enough courage to pick up the guitar from its holder and sit on one of the stage chairs.

"Alright, no judgment."

Being an idol is not easy. It doesn't even look easy. It comes with a lot of things, positive and negative. It is hard, but he’s come this far and become used to it. He has his members, his family, and his fans to push him through things. Only, this is one of those times where everything becomes too overwhelming.

Joshua is standing by the Han River, looking very solemn with his face tilting towards the setting sun, his eyes closed. He then opens those tired eyes slowly when he feels the sun rays move past his face. Heaving a deep sigh, he puts his cap back on and starts to make his way to one of his member's café.

As he reaches the end of a convenience store located next to the said café, Joshua stops in his tracks. A very sad and overly familiar melody barges into his ears. "Smile flower," he murmurs. It’s his group's song. And someone in the café is playing its instrumental with a guitar. The song makes a small smile blooms on his face and along with it, lots and lots of memories of him and his groupmates come rushing in. After a few moments of being lost in reminiscent, Joshua continues his stride to the café only to find that the song is ending.

"You should try to sing while you're playing, Miss," says a voice that belongs to his friend. And after that, he hears a soft voice answers sheepishly.

"Ah? I can't do both simultaneously. It will get really messy."

"What a shame, your playing was really beautiful. Anyway, I will place your cappuccino here."

"Thank you."

It's a girl, the one who played the guitar. Just like what his friend said, the playing was really beautiful, and Joshua can't help but wonder what your singing voice is like. He opens the door to the café and as usual, greeted with a hug by the boy who’s talking to the guitar girl earlier.

"Hey, Hyung! You're alone? Where's Wonwoo hyung?"

"Huh? Yes? He's somewhere, I don't know," Joshua mutters rather incomprehensibly. His glance is following the locks of the girl who just walked down the stage after placing back a white guitar—the one he personally bought for the café as an opening gift—to its handle.

"Well, okay. I'll get you the usual," the boy says flatly before running back to his counter.

Joshua pulls down his cap, making sure that it is low enough to cover his eyes and then takes careful steps toward the girl's table.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here?"

You look up from her cappuccino and see a figure with mostly black clothing and a cap that is worn very low standing in front of your table. You examine the café once again to make sure that yours is not the only vacant table available. And it isn't.

"Miss?"

His voice brings you back to his question and you begin to do a fast consideration. His clothing’s kind of intimidating, but from the way he talks, he seems like a proper guy. Also, you’ve left him standing there for quite a bit now, so you feel like you can’t come up with a better response than an 'Uh, no, I guess.’

You stare at him while he’s taking his seat and quickly avert your gaze when he suddenly looks up.

"You played really beautifully," he suddenly speaks up after a few minutes of silence.

"You heard me? I thought you just arrived."

"I did," he said shortly before the waiter comes to bring his order.

The waiter looks at the guy weirdly and asks, "Do you know her, Hyung? She played just before you came. And it's beautiful, really." He shoots a smile at you and continues, "You should play, Hyung. I'm curious at her singing, but she says she can't play and sing at the same time. Play for her and let her sing. Or better, sing with her." He sounds so different now that he's talking to someone he seems to be close with.

Joshua turns to face you and asks a question that's similar to his previous one, "Um, do you mind?" And when you don't answer right away he adds, "I heard your playing from outside, and like, I kind of entered the café to see you. You did play very beautifully, you know. And like, your voice, it sounds nice, so... Um, I'm kind of wondering about your singing voice, too. Like, actually, that's why I went to sit here. So, again, do you mind?"

He’s struggling with his sentence, and it’s rather cute that he turns to the waiter after he speaks as if he doesn't know how to handle the situation and asking him for help. You let out a chuckle and give him the exact same answer, "Uh, no, I guess." This time, though, a wide smile spreads across your face.

"Great! You guys don't have to pay for your order this time. Come on, go to the stage," ushers the waiter excitedly.

Joshua stands from his seat and offers his hand, which you accept after a moment of hesitation. He leads you to one of the stage chair—the one you previously sat on—then only when he goes for the white guitar does he release his hold on you.

"Have you heard of Seventeen’s Falling for You?" Joshua asks once he sits on another stage chair beside you. His heart’s beating a little bit faster than usual, and the silence that comes before your answer only makes him the more conscious of it.

"I have," you reply shortly while holding onto the mic tightly.

Looking at your nervous state turns Joshua's heart soft. He smiles and raises his cap a little, "It's okay. No judgment. Relax."

The moment you realize what you’ve agreed on, you started to drown in your own head. Your nerve begins to act out again, and the reason why you agree to the request at all thoroughly disappears from your mind. You look up from your lap when a hand that belongs to the polite stranger is stretched out in front of you. You just stare at it for a second before finally taking the offer. His warm hand somehow sends you a sense of relief that when he breaks the contact to grab the guitar, you’re back to the battle with your nerve. Going to the stage to dive into music with guitar in your arms is different from singing, where there’s nothing in your grasps but the cold metal of mic, moreover when the cold becomes much more apparent after the lingering heat of the stranger's hand.

You can hear your heartbeat in your ears until that beating is interrupted by one gentle voice, " Have you heard of Seventeen’s Falling for You?" With the state that you’re in right now, you can only get a short and almost inaudible 'I have' out. Your grip on the mic tightens and that action catches the stranger's attention because then he turns to assure you, "It's okay. No judgment. Relax."

It seems to you that your heart has stopped beating entirely; not from the encouragement, but from the action he did before saying that. The stranger smiled and raised the cap that hid his eyes, now revealing his true identity. You are too surprised you don't notice your jaw is dropping and your eyes widen. The stranger, who’s not completely a stranger but a stranger all the same, laughs at your reaction and throws another smile. "I will sing Jeonghan's part. You'll sing mine, okay?"

A/N: I edited this :’) An I’ll re-edit later

#seventeen oneshot #seventeen #hong jisoo #jisoo seventeen #joshua seventeen #joshua fluff #seventeen fluff #jisoo fluff #jisoo seventeen fluff #fluff #joshua oneshot #joshua seventeen fluff #hong jisoo fluff #hong jisoo oneshot #joshua imagines #joshua scenario #jisoo imagines #jisoo scenario

40 notes · View notes

thirstygirlclub · 5 years

Text

Junior - Platonic SAMCRO

An imagine where male reader is Bobby’s half Mexican /white kid and he sings/performs like Bobby does and one day he’s in accident because of club rivals and loses his voice. Reader gets depressed and angry, so he starts abusing alcohol and Bobby asks the club for help and so Gemma and the entire Samcro mother charter help Bobby bring reader back out and have him go to AA meetings and find projects to keep him busy and practice his sign language

word count: 4,153

The sound of guitar strings being plucked and tuned filled the clubhouse as the guys returned from their quick run into Stockton. They saw Bobby Junior sat on the bar with his dirty boots on the freshly cleaned bar stools and a guitar in his hands.

Junior looked almost nothing like his father. He was tall and slim, like his mother, with tanned skin and dark eyes and hair. The only thing that made them look related was the masses of wild, curly hair he had inherited from Bobby.

“Junior!” Bobby called, “Get off the bar. Gemma’ll have your head!”

With a snort of undeterred laughter, Junior carefully set his guitar on the bar and hopped off before going to meet his dad and all his uncles. He hugged them all and asked about their trip, grabbing the bag of muffins from Tig and rooting through for his favourite flavour.

“Ya like a damn animal!” Tig exclaimed, “Bobby, you ever gonna teach your son any damn manners?”

“I’m 24 Tiggy,” Junior laughed, spitting crumbs and chocolate chips down his shirt and over the floor, “I’ve got plenty manners.”

Bobby just laughed with his son and snatched the paper bag away from him, much to the younger man’s protests, and gave them back to Tig who just glared and held the bag behind his back so Junior wouldn’t be able to get anymore. Everyone loved Junior like he was their own son but that didn’t mean he didn’t infuriate them every now and again.

“You ready for your show tonight?” Bobby asked his son, patting him on the shoulder, “Got her all tuned up?”

“Uh huh,” Junior nodded, “got my set list made and everything. You mind looking over it for me Dad?”

Bobby smiled and agreed, “You got the voice of an angel Junior, it’s not gonna matter what you play.”

Gemma had arranged for a fundraising concert for the school and the guys had had to go and pick up last minute decorations for it. Both Bobby and Junior would be performing along with some other acts but obviously Elvis would be the main act; the oldies loved him.

When the concert was in full swing and Junior was playing his set, with teenage girls and mothers alike fawning over him, the sound of motorcycles rumbled gently under the sound of acoustic music and the singing boy. Nobody paid attention too it; plenty of SAMCRO members were yet to arrive after all. But then there was no way that anyone could miss the gunshots that got fired.

From behind the adoring crowd, Junior could see a team of 4 unfamiliar motorcycles and guns held out but before he could jump down, pain hit him in the throat; taking his breath away and making him fall to the ground. His dad was at his side with his Elvis costume in his hands then wrapping it around his neck to stop the bleeding from both the entrance and exit wounds. Junior couldn’t talk. All he could do was look up at his dad’s tearful, sobbing face in panic, hands desperately trying to hold onto his dad for comfort and security. If he was to die he would have been angry that it was without telling him he loved him.

Ambulance sirens cut through the shouts and screams and the paramedics rushed up to the stage to try and save Junior’s life. Bobby watched in horror and painful worry as his costume was removed from around his son’s neck to reveal the large hole in his skin and the blood that seeped out into his hair.

Bobby leapt into the ambulance behind the stretcher, not even looking at his friends because he knew they were already getting to their motorcycles to escort them to the hospital. He held Junior’s hand in both of his, talking to him and trying to keep him conscious like the emergency team told him.

“You’re gonna be ok Kid,” he sobbed, stroking the wild hair from the boy’s face, “you’re gonna be alright. You’re not going anywhere, you hear me? I’m not letting you leave me.”

Junior tried to speak but no words could come out.

Waiting in the waiting room with Bobby broke the hearts of all of his friends. he was inconsolable but there was no way he was going anywhere without his son.

“Mr Munson?” The doctor asked, looking over the group of bikers until he found Bobby, “Can I speak with you?”

Bobby stood up after Chibs patted his shoulder firmly and wished him good luck. He made his way to the doctor then through to the room where Junior was lay unconscious with a large bandage wrapped around his neck with his hair spread up over the pillow.

“Is he going to be alright?” Bobby asked hoarsely.

“He’s going to live,” the doctor nodded, “but... the bullet went through his vocal cords and-”

“No...”

“He may be unlikely able to speak again. Now we have got a great range of-”

Bobby couldn’t stop himself from launching himself forwards, gripping the doctor by the front of his coat and shaking him violently; getting into his face and shouting. It would be terrifying sight for anyone and the doctor didn’t know what to do.

“Fix him!” Bobby shouted, spit flying from his mouth and angry tears falling down his eyes, “You better fix him or I’ll blow your goddamn brains out-”

The doctor reached over to the bed to press the emergency button while struggling to make this bear of a man let go of him. The alarm went off and almost immediately, before any doctors or nurse could get in, Chibs and Clay pulled the struggling Bobby away from the man. Anger turned back into sadness and he fell into the armchair with his face in his hands. Chibs sat on the arm, hugging his friend close but listening to the doctor explaining the situation.

“He’ll never sing again,” Bobby sniffed, “he’s going to be heartbroken. You know how much he loves it.”

“I know, mate,” Chibs nodded, tears catching in his own throat, “we’ll get him through it.”

Bobby sat with his son everyday he was in hospital. When he told him what had happened and that he would probably never sing again it was just as heartbreaking as he thought. He had prepared himself for the worst but he hadn’t prepared for a full blown breakdown. Junior had tried to speak, to shout, to cry but it just came out as guttural noises while he gripped onto his hair and rocked backwards and forwards on the bed. He refused to eat, refused drink, refused any kind of comfort his dad or anyone would try and offer him. It hurt Bobby every time his son would push him away.

Whenever anyone came into his room they would find the young man curled up in a ball with the blankets covering his head. He wouldn’t even look up when people called his name.

The day came when Junior was allowed out of the hospital. No one knew what to say to him. Bobby had the armfuls of leaflets that had information on different therapies and the sign language and Chibs was carrying the bag but Junior didn’t even look at them; just kept his head down and followed them out. He shook off Chibs’ hand on his shoulder.

Out of the hospital things went from bad to worse. Junior wouldn’t get out of bed regardless of how much Bobby tried. His heart broke every time he saw the discarded guitar in the corner of his sons bedroom gathering dust. He had suggested that Junior at least tried playing it but he could only pluck out a few notes before he would start getting angry that he couldn’t sing before throwing it back into the corner.

“It’s time to start learning this,” Bobby said, sitting on the side of the bed holding the sign language workbooks, “the tutor’s coming over tomorrow.”

Junior grumbled and put his pillow over his head.

“Junior, come on. At least try? All the guys have been learning it. Juice is getting pretty good.”

Silence.

Bobby sighed. He didn’t know what to do for his son anymore.

If his mother, Yolanda, was around he suspected she would know just what to say. He had met her while she was in America, had a whirlwind romance before she had to go back to Mexico. He had asked her to stay with him, even proposing to her so she could stay but she had to go back for her family. They kept in contact, mostly through letters and emails, and one day he got the letter with an ultrasound of a baby boy in it. Then, when he got the letter with the first photograph of him; the same one that told him his son had been named after him he had cried.

Yolanda looked after her family and struggled with money. It had killed her to give her son to his father but knew ultimately that he would have a better life in America with his dad who had a good job and money coming in. They kept in contact, of course, but Bobby missed her a lot.

But Yolanda wasn’t here so he was going to have to try and get him through it himself.

"Are you drunk again?!” Bobby shouted after his son as he stumbled through the house, “Junior!”

He was served with hand gesture that no one needed to know sign language to understand what it meant.

Junior was drunk. He was always drunk and if he didn’t get drunk alone in his room he would be out with the hobo’s and the townspeople who never seemed to understand that he couldn’t speak. They just thought he was shy. Bars weren’t the place to go, how could he order what he wanted? So he went to the off licence and bought stacks and stacks of beer. He didn’t even hide it from his dad anymore.

Junior was drunk and angry. Before the attack he had spent his days practicing his songs and talking with the guys at the bar. He spent evenings performing in bars around town and out of town. That had been his source of income for as long as he could play the guitar properly. But now he couldn’t do anything he liked anymore. He couldn’t contribute to paying bills anymore. So he drank until he forgot he couldn’t talk and his mind was hazy and his hands were numb. Junior drank until he forgot that he hated the man he had become.

When his dad or the guys came in to try and get him out of bed or to try and cheer him up he would fight them off; blocked them out and ignored them until they left him alone again.

He didn’t want to be a pain in the ass because he loved his dad but he also didn’t see the point in being a functioning human being or even living if he didn’t have his voice.

Bobby looked... grey. Everyone saw how much of a toll Junior’s injury had taken on him but when they offered their help he wouldn’t accept it; saying Junior was his son and therefore his issue to sort out. The guilt that he felt radiated throughout the club.

“I can’t do it,” Bobby admitted to his brothers one Friday night; the 16th one without his son, “his drinking’s worse... he shuts me out. I can hear him crying at night guys...”

He scrubbed his eyes roughly and gulped down his beer. It killed the guys to see their brother having such a hard time and not being able to do anything when he didn’t accept the help but now he had reached out to them. Bobby hadn’t known there was already a plan put in place for them to step in but it had been thoroughly considered and agreed upon. Junior was like all of their kids and like a little brother to Juice, Jax and Opie. Juice and Junior often got mistaken for brothers so often that they just stopped correcting people.

“We’ll get your son back,” Tig told Bobby kindly and patted his shoulder, “don’t worry.”

“Operation Get Junior Help is go,” Juice said and clinked his beer with Bobby’s.

Junior was shocked awake by his door slamming open then icy cold water splashing over his blankets and head. When he sat up he was faced with an angry looking Chibs at the end of his bed holding a bucket. He opened his mouth to argue but no words came out; just breathy noises.

“Get up,” Chibs ground out, “we’re going on a little trip.”

When Junior didn’t move, just sat scowling at the man that was like his uncle, Chibs stepped forwards and gripped him by the arm to drag him up and out of bed. He tried to fight the Scotsman’s grip but didn’t get very far. Clothes were thrust into his arms before Chibs walked out and shut the door.

Junior looked back at his now soaked bed. There was no way he could just get back in now and he was kind of curious about what Chibs had arranged. If he was taking him back to the hospital though he was going to have a fight on his hands.

Once dressed, he walked out into the kitchen to see Chibs holding a flask and leaning against the counter.

“Drink this on the way. You look like shit,” Chibs told him and handed over the flask.

Junior scowled at him but took it from him anyway; smelling strong coffee when he did so. As they walked out of the house he noticed for the first time that Chibs wasn’t wearing his kutte. Where were they going? He had to admit though, the fresh air in his lungs felt better than the stale air in his bedroom and the sun felt good on his skin as they walked through the town towards the local church. Junior eyed Chibs suspiciously.

He was led into a small side room where there was some chairs organised in a large circle, a table to the side with coffee and cookies on it. Chibs was getting greeted by the other people in the room as they made their way to the cookie table.

“They’re shite,” Chibs said and handed three cookies to Junior and poured out a cup of black coffee, “but they’re free.”

Junior stuck close by Chibs and looked around to survey the room. Then he saw what was written on the whiteboard. Alcoholics Anonymous. Chibs had taken him to an AA meeting. When it was time to sit down Junior started to panic; looking over to his uncle, shaking his head quickly and grabbing his arm, fighting off tears. He wasn’t ready to face anything yet.

“The first one’s the worst,” Chibs reassured the young man gently, “but it gets easier. Sit with me here. You’ll probably cry and that’s ok.”

They sat together, other people looking curiously at the handsome new comer that hadn’t greeted anyone or even met anyone’s eyes.

“You got your notepad? Write what you need and I’ll read it out for you.”

Junior nodded and slipped the small notebook out of his pocket shakily then staring at it, not knowing what to write. And when it had come to his turn he looked back at Chibs and shook his head. He didn’t know how to condense his feelings into just a few short sentences.

“Filip?” The gentle man leading the session, Marvin, asked, “Why don’t you go while our friend calms his nerves?”

“I’m Filip Telford and I’m an alcoholic,” he said when he stood up and Junior looked up at him; amazed that this was even happening, “I’m still drinking but not as much as I used too. Days get easier without it now. I’m facing up to what it is that made me drink and the person I was under it.”

As Chibs told the story about his daughter and wife and upbringing Junior was shocked to tears. Even Chibs, perhaps the strongest man he knew had weaknesses, and that made him feel better about himself.

“This is Robert Munson Jr,” Chibs said, gesturing to Junior to stand up, “but we just call him Junior. He was attacked a couple of months ago so he can’t talk.”

“Hi Junior,” the group said kindly.

“So I’m gonna talk for him if that’s ok?”

“Of course.”

Chibs started relaying to the group about what Junior was like before the accident; before the alcohol and then what he was like now. Hearing the way he had changed and what someone on the outside saw crush Junior. Hearing how his drinking had affected his dad was the worst.

“Thank you for joining us, Junior,” Marvin said in the same gentle tone he had been using the entire session, “admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. It sounds like you have a lot of people on your side and a good support system around you. Use that.”

Junior nodded and both men sat down.

Once the meeting was over Junior felt exhausted. Listening to everyone’s stories was emotionally tiring so they just went home.

“Maybe next time,” Chibs started around the cigarette he was lighting, “when you’ve learnt more sign language you can tell it yourself.”

Junior nodded slowly and started to walk. Then, he tapped Chibs on the shoulder and stopped walking. When he looked back at him, Junior put his hand flat and his fingertips to his chin then brought it down in an arc towards Chibs; “thank you.”

Chibs smiled happily and ruffled his wild hair before they made their way back to the house.

Cleaning Up

Happy Lowman stood at your front door wearing his signature pissed off expression, black gloves and holding rolls of garbage bags was not something anyone particularly wanted to see at midday on a Wednesday. Junior looked him up and down with wide eyes but couldn’t see a weapon. Happy pushed passed him and started through the house towards Junior’s bedroom. When he was finally over his shock, he followed the killer through to see him stood in the middle of his dark bedroom and looking over the floor.

“You sleep in this?” Happy asked in disgust, pointing a roll at the mess covered floor, “Dude.”

Junior shrugged; trying to tell him that he was depressed and lost his voice. The last thing he was thinking about was the state of his bedroom.

“Get a bag. We’re cleaning this shit up.”

Junior nodded, knowing better than to push his luck with Happy, and joined him in picking up the old beer cans and food wrappers. The curtains and windows were opened for the first time in months and it already looked better. While Junior collected his laundry Happy gathered up the plates, cups and glassed that littered every surface.

The room was cleaned in a matter of hours and finished off with Happy vacuuming while Junior changed his bedding. The two men stood back and looked at their handiwork in satisfaction. It was like an entirely different room.

Junior waved to get Happy’s attention, put his flat hand to his chin and brought it down before getting both of his hands in front of him, flat then circling them alternately towards his chest; “Thank you, Happy.”

Happy nodded slowly with a small smile, going over to hug his friend’s son tightly and patting him on the shoulder.

“Anytime,” he said when they pulled away, “just ask.”

Practice

With his room cleaned and regularly going to AA meetings with Chibs, Junior felt better. He had been practicing his sign language with Juice semi-regularly. Bobby was right when he said he was getting good. He even used it when he was speaking to Junior even though he could hear what he was saying.

“It helps you learn,” Juice shrugged, signing as he spoke, “so you know what it looks like. That’s what the internet says anyway.”

Finger-spelling was hard enough but everything else was almost impossible for a while. He knew the basics and had made an effort to spell all of his friend’s names. Happy, Juice and Chibs were easy because he didn’t need to spell them. For Chibs he just used the sign for “knife” which everyone, including Chibs himself, found funny. Juice was just the sign for the drink and Happy was just the sign for the feeling.

The sign language tutor told him he needed to use the spelling to say their names but it was too much effort for talking to his friends.

Instead of going to the house, the tutor would instead go to the clubhouse where she would find herself with a small classroom set up and a group of bikers learning with the guy she had been instructed to teach. Juice was the star pupil because he flirted with her in sign language.

Eventually, Junior became good enough to only rarely use his notepad for things and even then that was only when he was ordering at the bar or in a coffee shop when he was with people that couldn’t sign. And sometimes he just used charades for the things he had forgotten which was both funny and frustrating at the same time.

One thing he had learned was useful about all of them learning ASL was that they could communicate over the busy bar on a Friday night and not have to strain their voices. It also helped the guys when they went on runs and had to stay quiet; Clay could just sign his orders to the guys and they would know what they had to do.

“I don’t know why we didn’t do this sooner,” Tig said to Junior, “it’s so much easier.”

“You’re welcome,” Junior signed.

AA meetings became easier too. Chibs would translate what Junior was saying to the group instead of trying to read Junior’s hastily scrawled writing.

Recovery

Gemma had always been a stand in mother figure to Junior, as she was with all of the SAMCRO guys at some point. She had taken it upon herself to encourage him to pick up his guitar again.

“Just play for me,” Gemma said to him one day, “just one song?”

Anyone was hard pressed to say no to Gemma and Junior was no exception. He sighed and went to pick up the guitar from where it had sat for almost half a year in the corner of his bedroom; tormenting him every time he looked at it. Slowly he plucked out an Elvis song that he had always sang when he performed. He didn’t look at Gemma because he didn’t want her to see how much just picking it up again pained him. All playing did was make him miss being able to sing and eventually he just broke down into tears and sobbed, clutching it to his chest then letting Gemma hug him tightly.

She stroked his hair and hushed him while rocking him slowly back and forth; just letting him cry it out.

“You’re gonna be ok Baby,” she murmured to him and pulled the guitar from his hands, “it’s gonna take time.”

Junior nodded into her shoulder.

Time went by and Junior would pick up the guitar more and more often (only when the house was empty) until he could eventually play a song all the way through without breaking down. Then, with Gemma’s guidance he took the guitar to the clubhouse. His dad and the guys had been out in the morning to make some kind of deal with another club but would be back that afternoon.

“Show them how far you’ve come,” Gemma said with a smile as he hopped up on the bar with his dirty boots on her clean barstools.

Junior nodded then as soon as he heard the rumble of Harley’s filling the air he started playing a song.

The sound of guitar strings being plucked and tuned filled the clubhouse as the guys returned from their meeting with Alvarez. They saw Bobby Junior sat on the bar with his dirty boots on the freshly cleaned bar stools and a guitar in his hands.

Bobby almost immediately started crying. Junior finished his song without looking at them. When he put the guitar on the bar beside him and hopped down he was pulled into a tight hug by his dad. Junior was crying, Bobby was crying... everyone was emotional. Even Happy had tears in his eyes and a smile on his face.

When Junior pulled away he pointed to himself, crossed his arms across his chest with his hands in fists then pointed at his dad.

“I love you.”

#male reader monday #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy headcanon #sons of anarchy platonic #male reader #bobby munson #bobby elvis

103 notes · View notes