#probs delete latter

[piyako]

Conscious Thought

Rindou x reader / angst

Why is it so hard for him to just admit it?

"I’m actually waiting for my boyfriend here." you smiled to the guy who seemed to be taken aback by the respond. He sheepishly rubbed his nape and bowed awkwardly, leaving you smiling behind him.

"You like men’s attention, don’t you?" A voice behind you boomed.

Though he looked like a menace to the society, he was in fact your boyfriend. This is the person whom in fact, had made you wait for the last forty minutes by yourself. Though he seemingly forgotten that anyway, as he had the audacity to scoffed. He trudged towards you with both hands in his pocket.

"I’m fine. Thank you. How about you?" you retorted, rolling your eyes as he was eyeing the guy who had just left. No matter how many times reiterated on how precious he is in your life, how you would be miserable if he were to be gone from your life, there was no salvation for his unassertive mind.

"Why don’t you just go with him then? You look sweet smiling like that for him.” he jeered.

This would be fucking adorable if it’s the third or the fourth times he’s being bitchy. Drawing deep breath and breathing out slowly with eyes close in attempt to calm yourself, you managed to land a peck on his lips which immediately shut him. You took the chance to pull him into the small restaurant that you discovered on TikTok.

You had been craving for Korean dishes all week and unfortunately hated eating meals alone. Rindou had voluntarily accompanied you when he heard you whined about it the day before. Not like you had anyone else to be fucking honest.

As the both of you entered the premise, you flinched on the proximity between you and the waiter when he had welcomed the newly arrived customer. It was nothing like invading your personal space bubble. But it was crossing the line Rindou had set for everyone except for him. You saw how his nose flare when you jumped away from the male. The latter on the other hand had assigned you and Rindou a seat and set the menu down.

"Do you mind if I ordered for you?" you asked him with the innocence thought of wanting to try different dishes they were serving. The man who was seated in front of you had decided to be on the opposite end of the thought. You only realized this as he slammed the menu right in front of the waiter who was visibly startled and intimidated as Rindou stared up to him.

"Go ahead." he instructed you. Nevertheless, with every ounce of self-control you had squeezed out from every pore on your being, you ordered everything, and smiling up gratefully to the waiter as you finished. Warning; a bad move.

"Whore." Rindou muttered under his breath.

Disregarding him would be the best. From the moment the meals had arrived on the table, up until the time it was finished, the silence that was shared had incremented the tension between the both of you. Even the employee silently pleaded and pray on the side-line for it to be over with.

The chair made loud creaked as Rindou stood. He had left you who was still chewing on the last bit of your meal as he paid for everything. Silently cursing him, you exited the restaurant, following behind.

"How was it? Apple of my eyes was it?"

Again.

You had tried every single thing to satisfy his needs. Deleting media social? Checked. Deleting every male in your contact list? Check. Quitting university so there’d be no unnecessary conversation with male species? Checked. Breaking up every relationship that does not involve Rindou Haitani? Fucking checked it.

Four years of relationship meant nothing to him.

In his eyes, smiling to stranger was equivalent to fucking them. Updating your health and well-being to an old friend who reached out to you, was you trying to flirt them regardless of gender. Walking a little giddy today? ‘Fucking whore who loves attention.’

"What is your prob-“ He raised an eyebrow when you tried to encounter him. You had sped up your steps, leaving him behind while grasping your purse tighter. Maybe it was a bad idea for trying to fix something who refuses to be fix.

He had trailed behind you, both hands in pocket which made him looked very nonchalant to the whole situation he was putting you through.

"Do you see me smiling to anyone I’m talking to?" he scoffed, while catching up next to you. He grimaced when you met his eyes for the first time in a very long time. Challenging your boyfriend was something you never attempted.

"Well, maybe if I were a ‘lil gremlin shit like you, then yes. I would glower to anyone who even dare to look at me.” you snapped. Rindou jaw tightened at the pathetic attempt of confronting him.

"Yeah. Just like I’m not a slut like you."

Maybe it was the heat in the middle of the day. Or it could be the fatigue that made your head spun irrationally. Oh, and or, maybe it was the heels that was too uncomfortable to be wear. You were actually determined to impress your boyfriend. Dolling up for the day just for him, to hear his compliment and eventually blush when he caressed your cheek. Just like how it used to be.

Natheless, you could not stand him anymore, so badly wanted him to know that, "and so maybe it’s time for us to break up."

He stopped in his track and grabbed your arm to stop you from going any further,

"This again,” he furrowed, “how many times do I have to tell you to stop saying things you don’t mean?” Red painted his face, and it went to a deeper shade when you shrugged his hand off.

"I mean it!” you yelled, “I mean every single word I said.

Rindou breath ragged as he penetrated your soul with his eyes, which was nothing but pure rage.

Why? you think I’m never going to be tired of your shit?"

"But you promised." The sentence that was hard for you.

It was hard to stop yourself from laughing in his face for saying silly shit.

“Fuck you Rin. I never promise to be an idiot who let a guy who is so fucking insecure to ruin my life.

"Don’t call, text, find or even fucking think about me anymore. You are a fucking disease.

#rindou x you #tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokrev imagines #rindou angst #rindou x reader #rindou haitani #haitani rindou x reader

[paxny]

1, 8, 9, 18, 19, 20, 26 for the top gun ask thing!

So I totally had to sit and stare at this in my inbox for a hot minute and digest the fact that it exists. Like, low-key tumblr still boggles my mind- some of my posts here have more notes than the number of likes I get on other platforms from people I know irl. It's weird. I love it. Anyway, super excited to play!

1. Who’s your favorite character & why are they your fave?

I'm really really obsessed with Iceman and Maverick. Not sure I could choose a single favorite character when they exist together. I love their dynamic, I love how deep both of their characters are, I love them individually but also how it feels like they complete each other. I absolutely ship them romantically, but even from a platonic viewpoint they're inseparable to me. (That probably answers other questions better than this one but) I'm also a literal goner for Rooster.

8. What would your callsign be?

I don't really know yet, honestly that question has been consuming a lot of my thoughts. Probably something completely lame and not cool. Most likely relating to my clumsiness, or one of my silly childhood nicknames. My mom used to call me Birdie and Squirrel, and sometimes she now (affectionately) calls me Creature when I do something silly/weird. I did take the funny little quiz that the movie's Insta account posted, and came up with "Colt" as my result (strangely fitting considering I was the Horse Girl...I was amused at least) but idk how accurate that is... If I come up with something cool I'll let you know? I will totally accept ideas and suggestions XD (my friend @brackish-kraken has been dragged into brainstorming with me since I started typing this up...so far they have come up with" Bobcat", "Alice", "Chipmunk", and various plays on my nickname [Rae>>"Rabies" ]. I hate that one, but that prob means that's actually what it would be.)

9. What’s your favorite scene in either movie?

The beach scenes. Absolutely the beach scenes. Also every time a Bradshaw makes a sarcastic remark under their breath/as an aside. And the scene at the end of TGM where Mav and Rooster steal the old F-14. have you figured out how indecisive I am yet?

18. Would you be a pilot or a RIO/WSO? If you’d be a pilot, would you work alone or have a RIO/WSO? If the latter, who would your RIO/WSO be? If you’d be a RIO/WSO, who do you want your pilot to be?

I think I'd be a pilot if only because I'm pretty sure I'd be a terrible backseat driver. I would probably go out of my mind if I was just along for the ride. I'm torn about having a RIO/WSO. I long for the kind of bond that we see between them and their pilots, and I would feel safer and more grounded with someone with me as a team. But also I would be terrified something would happen to them because I made a mistake.

19. What do you wish you’d see more of in Top Gun fandom

I would love to see more fanart, I'm an absolute sucker for fanart. I also am literally addicted to whump-y fics, and I've read a ton of great ones for these fandoms, but I'm rather insatiable. AUs and tropes that really hurt my favorite characters, and delve deep into what makes them tick, before slowly helping them heal and giving them a happy (usually) ending *chef's kiss* Hanahaki aus, arranged marriage aus, all the hurt/comfort, soulmates, pining, angst, whump, non-traditional a/b/o. Please just give me all the fics that will make me cry, they're so beautiful and powerful, and these characters would suit them so well.

20. Is there anything you’d delete from canon?

Besides the obvious fix-it-fic line of thinking where I don't let Goose die? I would erase Charlie and Maverick's romantic relationship. I really didn't like it that much, I was much more invested in other relationships and friendships. I felt like theirs was unstable and rushed, and unnecessary to the plot. I think they would've made better flirty bffs. That's just me though.

26. What’s your favorite line from the movies?

"You can be my wingman anytime" "Bullshit. You can be mine" also a number of others from both movies, but that's what came to mind first.

#@the-hard-deck #top gun #top gun: maverick #ask game #icemav #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #bradley rooster bradshaw #nick goose bradshaw #charlie blackwood #im literally so indecisive #im sorry i didnt mean to ramble on that much #im so obsessed #top gun movie #this was really fun #we should do it again sometime #wingmen

[spkyscry-a]

me, walking in and seeing sb be dumb on anon: bro there’s an unfollow and/or block button for a reason. nobody’s gotta cater to your tastes?

#Down Your Spine ;; OOC #What's All The Fuss ;; Dash Comm #that's all i just peeked in and saw that #i'd just reply but i'm on mobile and lazy #i'll probs delete this later sorry i've been sick the past few days too #i'll add dusa maybe tomorrow if all goes well #and i feel better. #more the latter than the former honestly

[party-with-books]

There are 2 things I absolutely hate doing at work above all else; 1) crying, and 2) having to leave cause I feel sick.

And today the latter is no exception.

#I want to be a great employee #and yet it’s like I can’t work a job without doing BOTH of these #both of my jobs I’ve cried (sometimes cause of customers sometimes cause of something personal) #and also had to leave early cause of nausea or the world looked ready to till #and that would be the latter today #I want my work to see I’m trustworthy and can power through things #but my manager insisted ‘nope let’s get you out of here early’ #which I appreciate but at the same time I feel horrible #this sucks #personal #will prob delete later

[mustardyellowsunshine]

can’t tell if my total lack of motivation for writing is simple writer’s block or re-emergence of depression

#kinda thinking it's the latter #based on other things going on #but the whole 'staring blankly at a blinking cursor' thing every time I try to write is getting to me now #will probs delete later

[pyrofleurs]

ah yeah I suppose 1am is as good a time as ever to revisit the constant self nagging of whether or not the level of affection and commitment I can handle in a relationship is actually abnormally low or if I just Haven’t Met The Right Person Yet

#im hoping its the latter tbh #a relationship always sounds nice on paper but whenever im in one i just get tired of them in like three months no matter how happy i was #euehegfhfhrhffhfh #sam.txt #delete later probs w/e #needed to vent for a hot sec

[aruthlessblackthorn]

Something to Address

Disclaimer: I have nothing to be jealous of when I deleted my instagram account months ago, but I am genuinely upset at the situation. The fandom (and Cassie) deserves to know the truth.

If you’ve read Cassie’s newsletter this morning (or yesterday, depending on time), then you know she’s started her promotional project for Chain of Iron, called The Letter Game. I won’t go into too much detail because the premise of the idea isn’t what’s important-- it’s about who is involved. 

I’m nervous to talk about this but this has to be talked about. For Thursday, tsc.updates on instagram is doing one of the promotional pieces. But if you know who runs the account, then you might know they’re also the person who ran shadowsconfess. And if you were around when that account existed, then you know there was a lot (and I mean A LOT) of controversy that steamed from almost every confession post made. 

When shadowsconfess was a thing, there was a lot of discourse surrounding the controversial things that were shared. One of the biggest things was their hate for Jem, and from that came a lot of people who sought out shadowsconfess as their gateway to be hateful and bigoted towards Jem (and many other characters, specifically POC). Now, I am not saying someone isn’t allowed to dislike a character, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but what I am saying is that shadowsconfess didn’t check those hateful confessions, like the racist ones, or the sexist ones, and it honestly played such a huge role in ruining the fandom and community. Arguments were happening left and right, and it was hard to remain neutral especially when it came to differing opinions (especially about Will, it was considered awful if you disliked him). 

Here is an example of what I mean by allowing bigoted confessions (coloring out usernames for obvious reasons):

Overtime, shadowsconfess would post other opinions of theirs, specifically about their heavy dislike of Cassandra Clare. One of their biggest things was how they hated her, how they were a firm believer of separating the art from the artist. Which is fine, but given the fact that they’re currently working with CC... make it make sense. Shit doesn’t add up.  

They were also known for having the scoop on what CC feels towards her characters, such as her disliking Will (prob because of the CP2 epilogue and jessa being canon in the future books). Going back to the hate on Jem, they has a history of disliking POC characters. Like Maia and Alastair, the former reminding her of someone (same argument made against Jem) and the latter being because he’s a bully and not wanting redemption for him. Like I said, it’s okay to dislike a character but this is a pattern. A racist/prejudiced one. 

There’s also this on their tumblr where they try and compare Alastair’s suffering from racism (he is half-Persian) to his bullying of James Herondale having demon blood in his veins as to being the same thing. Idk what to make of it, but it’s fucking weird. I’m sorry, but that’s not the same thing. Not at all.

When they deleted shadowsconfess and made tsc.updates, they kept their tellonym. And here they went along with others making fun of Cassandra Clare’s appearance, where they berated Alastair’s character, etc. 

There have been other instances where they have been awful, such as comparing Cassie to h*tler and jumping on the bandwagon of hating her because of the incest plotline in TMI. Many people I know have gotten into an argument with her and/or their friends over these issues, and for the most part we’ve asked that a lot of this hate and negativity to stop. But there has been a bruise left on the TSC fandom because of things like this, and now CC has her promoting Chain of Iron, which leads into this point:

I am not making this post to be spiteful, or to “re-hash old feuds,” but instead I am pointing out how unfair it is that someone who claims to hate Cassandra Clare and has caused a lot of damage to this fanbase gets to work with her. There are plenty of fans who would die to have been part of this project, and unfortunately this has turned into one of those things that happens when someone doesn’t research a person they collaborate with. There are a bunch of other things that have been said and done but I know I can’t bring them up without proper proof, but I hope what I have shown here is enough. 

I have been wanting to talk about this since I read CC’s newsletter this morning, but I am nervous to post this due to the way I’ve been treated when calling tsc.updates/shadowsconfess out on their bs in the past. I don’t care that they don’t post confessions anymore, but point still stands that there has been harm done. And on an obvious note, don’t send hate to them. Instead hold them accountable for their actions. Because that’s what this post is for. 

So @cassandraclare , if you read this, please reconsider working with them in the future. 

#the shadowhunter chronicles #cassandra clare #will herondale #jem carstairs #the mortal instruments #tmi #tsc fandom #shadowhunters #the dark artifices #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn #jace herondale #alastair carstairs #cordelia carstairs #the last hours #the infernal devices #cassie clare #tsc

[bittybattybunny]

I hope your not feeling down on your writing skills because I haven't caught up and commented on your latest releases. It's not you it's that I pick too many fanfics to follow and they all update a lot and I've been so busy and I've fallen behind on so many fics from various authors and sometimes my depression just makes me want to lie in bed all day doing nothing and it doesn't help I have to spend my limited spoons helping family everyday. I know these aren't good excuses, but I do sympathize with the lack of energy feeling at least. But your work really does bring a lot of joy to my life. It's so fun keeping up with your various AUs, and your latest one that features Kaya as Spider King has me really hyped because I want to learn more about Kaya, she's so fun! And Ruclipse is such a good comfort ship that just hits all the things I like seeing in a ship. You're so amazing and creative and it's awful that anyone would try to make you feel otherwise! Like your newest OC, Justin Tyme seems like such a lovable dumbass bastard. I love his wild, curly hair and his dapper outfit. I can't wait to see what dumb shit he gets himself into! I know this is really long and rambly, but I hope you know you have fans who genuinely love your work. I don't know if you're still thinking about that one comment you mentioned that got you really down, but honestly, fuck that guy. I don't know what they said but it must have been pure BS to have you doubting your hard earned art skills. I wish I could do more to prove you're awesome and that your fans really admire you, I just hope you don't stop sharing what you love because some rando was nasty for no good reason. Because we love what you do!

It's not like anyone one person nonny so please don't blame yourself. This has been an ongoing thing for a few months actually...

it's just a general thing over all lately like. I mentioned this in dm's with a friend but overall past few months I've had lower engagement overall with my works and it really does a number on my confidence. More so because like your latter point.

yes, I am still very much thinking about that one negative comment. Because that person also has the need to comment on other things and I even had a thing asking why I took a few weeks to update (when reality I posted to another ongoing fic and my TLC chapters are long chapters) and just the fact they could tear into a character (yes it was a comment on a character specifically and not even a main character it's a side character who has an important role for Snatcher's growth as a person down the line) then go saying "why didn't you update" when I posted a double update that week---

Like it lives in my head rent free and I want to literally cry because like the character is a focal in an upcoming chapter and I can't deal with another "why are they back" type thing. because "everyone finds them annoying"

And I'll be honest. it was Kaya. Like I've been trying to have fun with my BCU stuff with her as Spiderking because it's engaging for me and me and @/doodleimprovement even came up with a b-plot involving Kaya and Hattie trying to hook Nell and Marcus together and it's one of the best things as well as Kaya and Nell having a really good relationship.

but because of that one comment it makes me hesitant to do anything with Kaya despite she's one of my oldest ocs, my most thought out ocs and I adore her beyond anything. Like yes she's over powered and such and in TLC rn she comes off as a know it all, but upcoming chapters will show she's just a spacey kid who's trying to fit into a role others decided for her and isn't really as all mighty as she seems. Snatcher even ends up thinking of her as a little sister more than anything. Like fuck I'm even hesitant to share anything on her actual story despite how much work is in it. Like she's my favorite Oc (that's why shes my discord icon, and I'm pretty sure she's my twitter icon as well)

And like the points in the comment just. IDK they didn't fit to her, if anything the points are more suited to be shot at Eclipse.

Which is another thing I just get iffy on. I love RuClipse and everything with it. I love writing and drawing the dorks. But I'm now so afraid if Kaya could be attacked for only showing in a handful of chapters that don't even touch on who she is, when is someone going to finally tell me off on my wolf? who's going to tear into a character I pour a lot of personal shit into to try and comfort myself?

I use Ruclipse to deal with my own romantic heart, they are what I wish I could have so I love to write them, I hurt them but i like to make them happy in the end. Someone who can deal with your highs and lows. No ones perfect but you can still figure it out and love even the negative parts (I am a heavy romantic OTL)

he is in fact a lovable bastard. i have fun plans and he gives me an excuse for why Cel is so tired and having to be the brain cell and how she even wound up working with the time kids when she's so much older than they are. Currently I'm trying to think of how to use him and honestly I think he's gonna wind up hella comic relief fun guy who's just making a mess and do his own side story while Hat and Bow are busy in subcon----

thank you, I don't mind the rambly it kinda gave me a chance to get this off my chest... like I've typed this kinda response up time and time again and I always delete. I feel like I'm whining because I get upset but it's just, I spend so much time making things, I use all my spoons on either working or creating, I just want to know if it means anything but then negativity lives in my head because what's a functioning meat cube??? I try to stay positive but it's hard. Like another thing is Moon Guardian; the reason I haven't updated? because I have had someone bothering me about it. weekly I get asked about how I'm doing on it but it's not from a place of "want to read it" it's because I told them they couldn't post a certain thing until the chapter is done so it feels pressuring to constantly get asked because I feel the only reason they want to post is to boost their thing and I'm just the machine to boost it with my characters and comic.... like it feels they've taken the comic from me and it sucks because I have so many fun things planned. Like I accidentally went off on Nina about a thing with Alpine skyline and Eclipse as well as a thing with a Time Rift and a Jelly ghost.

Sorry kinda went off, just I've sat on this thought train since like early april. I've done my best to ignore it and just keep going but it's gotten really hard with the fact my health hasn't been really great. I've spent a lot of time lately bed bound because I just hurt so badly. if I'm not resting, I'm at my day job which is incredibly stressful rn as I only really work mornings and I see things that are being missed so then i report it and it still gets missed and i can't get it fixed after a point cuz we're back to full service and need the people so I can't nitpick but just.... I'm bitter okay like if I left this shit when I worked I would have gotten yelled at but now we just let it slide??? and this stresses me out which then causes my body to freak out because I'm stressed which puts me in more pain. and then like at work have people acting shocked I have my cane or soemthing and just skfdslkfksdf

so my energy is so tanked. and then the negative comment in my head, no idea if people like things cuz I have no idea if I hear nothing, just has had me doubting why post. Like I should go back to just not posting my stories and sketches or w/e and slink back to my hole like I was before.

idk Its just. a bad night in the house of bun. I've had these thoughts festering and I guess today was the dam breaking. It's probs cuz I'm nervous posting Chimeras because it's a very dark au.

#ask #anon #not art #long post #sorry im just in a bad spot tonight I guess #like i started my day pretty okay but somewhere along the way it nose dived and I'm just trying to not cry in my room

[asfarion]

about blog tag

tagged by @ammihan!!! thank u 💖 def follow this mf lads

1: Why did you choose your url? im a simp

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them. @womboducker n @domesticsephiroth. formers me dead art blog, latters me hiatus-ridden sephiroth hellscape. prob gonna pick it back up later this year.

3: How long have you been on tumblr? like 2011 lmfao..............seen too much luv x

4: Do you have a queue tag? nah. ive never used the queue feature.

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place? i got locked out of me previous blog, which i made bc i got locked out of me first blog. the first one disappeared but me previous blogs still floatin around, carrying the cringe ghost of me 14 year old self. i came here initially tho for homestuck.

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp? i love goro majima

7: Why did you choose your header? its just me innit (canned bread)

8: What’s your post with the most notes? prob the acnl one abt the sand guardian

9: How many mutuals do you have? a good few!!!!!!! some r sadly deadblogs now but i still think abt them 💖

10: How many followers do you have? 316! most r also deadblogs tho lmfao

11: How many people do you follow? 456!!!!! hilariously most of them r also deadblogs

12: Have you ever made a shitpost? all me posts r shitposts luv

13: How often do you use tumblr each day? im here every single day either window shopping or regular posting

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won? i dont Think ive ever fought anyone

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? kinda cringe. like if its a serious post ill delete everything that isnt necessary but that whole "u need to reblog this" just makes me think abt the Tumblr Rules, esp daddy karp lmfao......

16: Do you like tag games? SO MUCH i luv interaction n learnin abt ppl!!!!!!!!!

17: Do you like ask games? ya but i only send em on anon bc im a fuckin baby

18: Do you have a crush on a mutual? no i see me moots as like. lads doon the pub innit. i see yous n im like "oop, here comes trouble! guess theyll let anyone in here" n then buy em a drink while we have some banter. just lads innit.

taggin @mikechampa @bakuraryxu @wisteriapurple @rohanfxcker @xomnus @ygomarik @goth-gay n else who fancies a gan!!

#ask meme #tag meme #luka.txt #about #long post #IM ON MOBILE OR ID PUT THIS INA READMORE SORRY LADS X

[gumheel]

hey ik you prob haven't been asked abt it in forever- but did anything ever come of the khcotd-verse other than khcotd/dailyaes? ik there was a third thing that got deleted, but i swore smn in the crew said smth else was gonna be made at one point

omg hi! um yeah lol there’s a lot that kind of connected to that, right now the most direct continuity that some of us are planning is a follow up that focuses on uhh... some of the magic and mystery behind the events that led to the bots and the glitter cursor! so keep an eye out for that. i’ll probably post about it when it happens.

if you’re also just interested in args from us, we’ve got one coming up soon that’s about a group of photographers.. :smirk: it’s called zone zero and when it’s up and running it’ll be found here!

the mod for willa and i are also rebooting another interactive experience called ask the lab rats, which can be found here.

neither of the latter two are directly connected to khcotdverse, but they should hopefully have that magic touch of relatable personalities and light hearted(?!) mystery that made khcotd something notable. the first one will be, we’re plotting it out and working on how best to present it to people right now.

thank you for asking! it means a lot to hear that people are still interested in that story. it mattered a lot to us and still does, so it’s good to see that it mattered to others :]

#asks #khcotd #kinphobe hating character of the day #since maybe someone else will want to hear about this

[recordmcqueen]

👉👈 Every ship ask for the boboiboy fandom? please? thank you //sad cape whoosh

aha now we’re talkin

1. What was your first OTP? boifang- my sister had only about a thousand screenshots of them before she finally managed to drag me in so its not like i had a choice--

2. What is your current OTP? answered this already

3. Do you have any OT3/OT+ ships? What are your favorites? hmm the only ones i have rn are goboifang and manramen x kaizo x pirate soldier guy. oh but like lowkey ayu yu x kiki ta x ejo jo dont question me okay-

4. What is/are your favorite trope(s)? idk if its a trope but like i want some brotp in my otp yknow and monsta does that right i just hhh bless. but also like the whole yin-yang thing going on with fang and bbb is just ahhh im weak

5. What is/are your least favorite trope(s)? hmmm in the fandom its mostly the hetshipping like i have no hate on any ships but a lot of times it does feel like theyre shipping for the sake of straight than dynamic which is really. unfortunate.

6. Do you have a certain kind of ship you’re more attracted to? bros being homies okay im so weak for the idiot memelords who all share one singular braincell its wonderful.

7. Are most of your ships “pure” or “problematic”? uhh i think as far as this fandom goes none of my ships are actively being bashed on and theyve all got pretty wholesome dynamics sooo nah? but then like i go and angst them all up so idk if that makes them problematic lol--

8. Who is the most shippable person you can think of? ...fang. probably because i think about him the most and also cause he got one of the best character development arcs and that just gives him a really solid dynamic with other characters //now im just making excuses hes my favorite okay

9. Are there any fandoms you don’t have any ships for? kind of? im kinda neutral on ships like i dont Need them (esp not in canon i actually prefer canon to be shipless bLESS MONSTA) and i don’t bash on any for the most part i can See all ships. but i dont necessarily actively Ship ships all the time yknow? so ig the answer is no...

10. Do characters have to have canon interactions for you to ship them? lmao nope (see kiki ta x ayu yu and probs a dozen other ships that dont come to mind at the moment)

11. What makes a great ship in your own opinion? uhhh dynamic??

12. What drives you away from a ship? lack of dynamic-- shipping for aesthetic is nice but i just appreciate the good art without really connecting to the ship itself yknow

13. Is there anything you ship but refuse to interact with the community for? mm yes. idk i feel like the fanbase is polarized between “soft pure bean with no or few ships” and “thirsty simps 18+ only” and both categories scare me too much to chat ships with lol

14. Has a fanbase ever made you ship or not ship something? Why? yES but not the bbb fanbase thankfully cantsaythesameforthelastfandomuhm

15. Do you like/participate in ship wars? Why or why not? already answered this one

16. Are there any ships you just can’t/don’t understand? What are they? boya. also saifang, come to think of it (the latter is significantly less popular). in both cases i consider them as a familial bond and cant really see them any other way? like i see bbb and yaya as mlm wlw solidarity and sai as an older brother to fang more than anything else so yknow hshsh

17. Are there any popular ships that you just don’t like? What are they? i mean the collective fandom otp is boicest so yknow. not my jam uwu

18. What is your favorite unpopular ship? bruh my otp is unpopular ToT

19. Do you prefer fluff, angst, or smut for your ships? angstangstangst *cough* ill take a nice order of fluff please and thank you kindly uwu

20. Do you prefer bigger fanbases or smaller ones? big fanbase have more content and its easier to find ppl to talk about rarepairs with. small fandom already have so few people its near impossible to find anyone to talk about your toiny ship with and even harder to find fellow fans irl. big fandoms have more potential toxicity tho--

21. Have you ever received hate for a ship you liked? lmao yeah but not for this fandom //probs cause i rarely talk about bbb ships in public anyway lol

22. Do you have any ships that you ship, but would never want to see as canon? all of them. i praise monsta every day for making their content 100% gen and i would never want it any other way bLESS

23. Have you ever had a ship become canon, but you didn’t like how it was portrayed? not in bbb for obvious reasons lol but in another fandom i Guess? idk how canon is “canon”

24. What is your favorite canon ship? *sweats intensely* captain kaizo’s dragonfly ship looks badass wish they kept it instead of the new round thingy he has that looks like it could impale someone- okay but papa zola and mama zila are heckin wholesome i love them and im so glad pipi has good loving parents

25. What are your favorite ships from a dead fandom? i dont think any of my current fandoms are Dead per se..

26. What are your favorite shipping scenes? “the captain praised me, what of it?” “open the door to my heart!” but also mONSTA WHY WOULD YOU DELETE BBB INVITING FANG TO STAY OVER AT HIS HOUSE FROM BBBM2 OTL //at least it meant we got it released internationally early so i could enjoy that much from canada

27. What are your views on reader x canon ships? already answered

28. What is your best shipping advice? whats with all the ship hatin ToT even if yall heathens cant understand multishipping, surely “mind your own damn business” and “live and let live” are easy enough pills to swallow??

29. Do you like OCs (Original Characters)? already answered

30. What are some of your favorite shipping blogs? are there bbb shipping blogs? i know theres the ramenzo one.. i dont think boifang has any active ones and my other ships are too rare to be considered lol yeah im pretty sure the only fandom shipping blogs (if any) would be boicest rip

#this took way too long #but i have yeets lmaoo #//shut up and go be productive already #nu ;^; #hhh #answers from the void #squawks from the void #so much shippy oof my head hurts #ngl this is probs a better ask meme for miracubugs or sth cause those actually got canon-- #but bbb is so valid too ;o; #tankz 4 azkin uwuwu #wHOMST #Anonymous #not gonna tag bbb fandom tho cause #ye #//sweat

[danahmbisyosangdoktora]

Not to be whiny but it just saddens me whenever I see posts from Batch 2019 wherein they were being hyped up by the Dean as they review for the board exam. I know I should move on but I juuuuust can't help but feel... jealous?

How does that feel?

How does it feel like not being looked down upon?

How does it feel like not being constantly reminded how lacking you are and doubt yourself if you are capable of taking the September boards every minute?

I can never forget the struggle and pain my batch (or I alone... but I doubt it's just me) had to go through emotionally when it was us, reviewing last year. I mean who would forget that time when we were yelled at (and embarrassed) by her whilst those students who were reviewing for PAMET-PASMETH Quiz Show sat in our review classes? I remember her telling them to ""tell your batch mates to review harder as early as this day so as to not end up like this batch during board review"". I can clearly remember when she told us how our batch is "just an average batch" so we had to triple our efforts. How many times we were reminded how excellent previous batches were compared to us? I lost count. Earlier during the review, she was so ecstatic claiming a Top 1 Performing School but during the latter months... she just "hoped and prayed for the best". That's how they just lost faith in our batch. We also received news from friends from other review centers how the Dean told everyone that no one would take the boards from TUA. Not sure how true though. When the results came out, they thought it was just "a strategy" to surprise everyone. Little did they know, she just doesn't want anyone to expect so high from us and be disappointed in the end. Last but not the least, I will never forget that time when our Academic Head talked to us and cried, almost begging, just so some of us wouldn't take the board exam because they don't trust as fully.

But of course, maybe we were just really slow and average. Numbers don't lie right? But I had to defend, we never lacked effort. We did the best we can do individually.

Taking into account the three important things the college was coincidentally facing when we took the boards. We had to garner 100% to:

1) Maintain the Level III PAASCU Accreditation.

2) Maintain the Masters in Medical Technology in TUA.

3) Maintain the International Clinical Internship Program.

Apparently, these are more important than our batch's self-esteem and mental health... but that's okay, it's in the past already anyway meow. Everyone passed and we were blessed to be able to bag a Top 1 Performing School recognition... and they were suddenly proud ha ha (okay I know I know who wouldn't?) but the emotional scars we got just to reach that??? it won't go away. Very dramatic but it really won't... at least for me.

They said we needed that much pressure for us to strive harder. "Pressure makes diamonds", they said. Ha, look at me! Do I look like a diamond? I actually became a mess after I passed the boards and got my license. I suddenly didn't know what to do with my life looool

Reviewing for boards while living alone? It's no joke! I had no one to talk to. Remember the nights I had to cry and ask myself if I am worthy to take September boards, self? I literally almost didn't because of the immense pressure I felt! There came a point where I already told my mother I'm not taking the boards and was ready to go back to Bicol had people from Student Affairs Center did not talk me out of it.

Nonetheless, my alma mater did not lack in honing our skills and further our theoretical strengths... they even went to greater extents just to ensure we know everything... to the point that it's taking toll in our mental health. That's what they lacked, is all I can say.

I'm not sure where this post is going. This is just me pouring what I feel.. in raw and at the spur of the moment. Probs like my version of "felt cute, might delete later"; mine would be "felt mad, might delete later". I don't know if I'm making any sense, I'm probably exaggerating and plainly whining but I really felt the need to vent. You wont probably understand anyway if you didn't experience it yourself.

Anywayyyy, I'm hoping for the best to Batch 2019! Wouldn't say anything that would pressure anyone because I know first hand, it won't help but I hope and am praying y'all finish strong! Never let external voices get into you. Always remember that you are taking the boards for yourself... not for anyone or for anything. Everything else is just an incentive!

PS: we only had an In-House Review.

#medical technology #college #rant #mtle2019 #medical technologist licensure examination #medtech

[g-rai-n]

january 30, 2021, 1:54am

im thinking of making this a daily thing. i cant be bothered to physically write on a journal probs bec im such a zoomer. so im typing everything here.

last night i stayed up until 7am, chatting with chai on discord. it was genuinely fun and i honestly could’ve stayed longer but we had to sleep eventually. the conversation started nung 1am i sent her a message thanking her for being cool and all and reassuring my appreciation for her company. a couple of minutes after i sent it i tried to delete pero nahuli niya ko oops but its ok. hiya hiya nung first few hours pero we ended up just chatting about literally everything.

as usual, it was really nice and i enjoyed the entire time. i knew we we’re both g in talking to each other so i barely exerted any effort nung kausap ko which is one of the things i really like when talking to chai. we even took turns in pretending like your typical bumble match na walang kwenta kausap. that was really fun.

we also got to talk about how there are people you meet na talagang friend material lang or jowa material. i got to ask her if i was the latter and i got a “ taking into consideration humor and similarity of interests, sure” which is nice. i really like her so far and this is great news for me. the next couple months siguro would be the time to prove myself. i honestly don’t know what to do other than just be myself. i should just keep talking to her and eventually make her spill if i have a chance or will be sent to the depths of the friendzone.

anyway again i just hope things go well. ngayon im actually ready to push through. lets see

[allsassnoclass]

I can't believe tumblr ate the ask where I lost my SHIT about the fact that jack does NOT look like jack in the I'm Ready video. like the others look like themselves but that lead singer???? different fucking guy I categorically refuse to believe that CHILD is going to become jack met like I literally paused the video in the middle to send you that ask and then tumblr had the audacity to censor me anyway I'll probs go in search of that video now cos I am intrigued xoxo bella

how dare tumblr delete that and also you’re complete right sometimes people look similar as teens and as adults and sometimes they’re two different people and jack is one of the latter

#ask #bella #also side note but people who can see similarities in people's baby pictures with their adult selves... could never be me #like my newman center did a thing where we submitted baby pictures at winter formal and people guessed who they were #and I could not recognize basically anyone #I was just like 'idk man that's a baby and also could be almost anyone in this room' #sorry bella I know you're not a huge fan of babies and here I am talking about baby pics but