Everything okay?
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you are not alone.
If you are in the United States, please try:
National Eating Disorders Association (support, resources, treatment options)
If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find help lines related to eating disorders for your country.
For self-help courses on body image and general peer support, please try Koko.
If you need some inspiration and comfort on your dashboard, follow Post It Forward on Tumblr.
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things that have happened since i lost 17lbs...
my teacher has told me my face looks slimmer.
my bf held onto my hipbone while we were cudding (because thats possible now) and has called me 'skinny and beautiful' multiple times.
my trousers fit less tight around my thighs.
my skits fall off my waist. where they used to be a perfect/tight fit, i can now literally fit my whole fist between the skirt and my waist.
it's all gotten so much easier! not eating has become a habit.
i smile when i step on the scale and see the weight has dropped again.
i can look at myself in the mirror and, while acknowledging there is still work to do, see that i'm moving in the right direction.
my mum has referred to me as 'a slender pine tree' which is an expression in my language that basically means you're very skinny, thin or slender.
i can't wait to add to this when i lose more or even reach my goal weight!!
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seeing a really cute skirt, or pair of pants, maybe a crop top, and seeing the only size available is made for petite people
and the feeling of being able to buy it and seeing it fit like a glove because you stuck to your diet and workout plan and got to your ugw.. think about how good you would feel about yourself next time you wanna binge and ruin it all.
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don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge don't binge
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Being fat, actually fat, with an eating disorder is fucking hell.
People assume you have BED, and if you actually do have BED people are so gross about it. If you have a restricting disorder people get concerned when you start eating more. People get concerned if you start to like yourself. People love to see you fucking miserable, and will completely ignore your misery in the same breath. It makes them feel good. They benefit at your expense through weight stigma.
So many physicians prescribe disordered eating to us. ED specialists in many places won’t even consider how EDs affect us. Our own community uses our bodies as inspiration to hurt themselves. Because nothing could be worse than looking like us, right? How are you supposed to love yourself when so many people actively don’t want you to?
To the fat person reading who needs to hear this, I give a shit if you recover. I give a shit that you are hurting. So many people don’t notice, so many don’t give a fuck, but I do. You deserve better. I want you to eat even if it means you gain weight. I want you to be happy in your body as it is. I want you to feel loved, I want you to feel seen.
If you are fat with BED, I see you. There is so much stigma and it is not your fault. Your weight isn’t “your fault”, you are sick. It’s not a moral failing. You deserve compassion, and the extent to which people project their own issues onto you is awful. You deserve to be comfortable in your skin, and your body is wonderful.
If you are fat with purging tendencies, or with restricting ones I see you too. We get praised for hurting ourselves, or no one notices. I see you. I’m sorry.
I wish so badly the world were more compassionate to you, but if no one else gives a shit, I do. Fight for recovery for me, even though I know that journey can be so, so lonely when you aren’t thin.
To those of you who have recovered, to those of you that may. You are worth it. You may be fat for the rest of your life, and that’s okay. It’s wonderful, your body is wonderful, and I see you and I’m proud of you. Sadly I know many of us recover alone, but I hope you know you aren’t. I’m rooting for you.
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