#private thoughts

[flowerandblood]

Hello, hopes this will not sound as indelicate/naughty question, but how old were you when you lost your virginity? Im on my early 20 and im stll virgin, everyone makes fun of it and act like it is the most unthinkable thing of all. Im hurt by it and I don't understand if my situation is normal or not

Your ask actually outraged me and made me very sad, not because of your question, but because someone has the audacity to mock you and think that you have some reason to be ashamed.

You shouldn't rush into sex. Never.

Your situation is completely normal.

When I lost my virginity I was 25 years old. Me and my husband were not yet engaged at the time and it took place a year after we started being together. I was the person who suggested that we could do it, that I was ready − I had learnt a bit about my body beforehand thanks to him and simply wanted more.

The first time is not comfortable. The first time is often not even pleasant at first, sometimes accompanied by a mild pain, also related to tense muscles from stress. I can't imagine that a stranger, someone I don't trust, someone who doesn't care about me and doesn't love me, would take from me this moment, which is so intimate, in which a woman is so vulnerable.

My husband was calm and patient, was affectionate and warm, himself terrified as I was despite the fact that he had already had sex with his ex-girlfriend.

He gave me a sense of dignity, a sense of security, a sense that we could stop at any time, that it was my choice.

How and when your friends lost their virginity is their choice, but that they have the gall to judge you is beyond me.

Don't let yourself think there is something wrong with you. Wait for the person who will make this experience a warm memory for you afterwards, as it was for me.

I, for one, will never forget the way he looked at me then, his hot breath on my face, our kisses when we were trying to calm down, when we were both feeling uncomfortable.

It's a beautiful memory for me, but I know that some women are downright traumatised after their first time and I would never want something similar to happen to you in your life. What happens then will affect your whole subsequent sexual life.

You.

Are.

Normal.

#answered #private thoughts #sexuality

[gennsoup]

Once you let people know anything about what you think, that's it, you're dead. Then they'll be jumping about in your mind, taking things out, holding them up to the light and killing them, yes, killing them, because thoughts are supposed to stay and grow in quiet, dark places, like butterflies in cocoons.

Helen Oyeyemi, The Icarus Girl

#Helen Oyeyemi #The Icarus Girl #thoughts #mind #private thoughts #keep your thoughts to yourself #butterflies #ideas #Nigerian literature #Black literature #BIPOC author #quotes #quotes blog #literary quotes #literature quotes #literature #book quotes #books #words #text

[drywall-muncher]

Casper's Scare School

The Casper's Scare School plot was secretly a queer adventure/acceptance story and I am the only one who knows this.

In a world where monsters are supposed to scare humans [het norm], Casper is shunned for being "friendly" and "not acting like a ghost" [queer]. He lives with his 3 uncles who presumably raised him [non-nuclear/het family], and know he is "friendly" but accept him anyways.

But when his "friendliness" is found out by Kybosh he is sent away to scare school to learn how to be a "real ghost" [Conversion camp/school], with the threat that if he refuses to go he will be banished to a place called the Valley of Shadows where he can never return from. (The uncles reveal to casper that their aunt was banished but more on that later)

In scare school they make him scare his "best friend" as a part of an assignment to prove that is scary [fight ur bf to prove ur het norm?], but Casper feels so guilty about it that he banishes himself to the Valley of Shadows. On his way he is confronted with an evil version of himself that tries to convince him he enjoys scaring (internalized homophobia) but he stays true to himself and says he'd rather reject society that be someone he isn't [à la 'rather die standing than live kneeling'].

Inside the Valley he finds out its actually an oasis for friendly monsters who don't "fit in" [queer community]. He finds his great aunt Spitsy [wise elder queer] who tells Casper that she's not banished, she just hasn't left because everything here is perfect for them. Casper, though, tells everyone that the people they care about are still out there and miss them, and that there's no point of being their true selves if they are hiding away from the people they care about. So they all march out the valley together to stop hiding (also there is a taking over the world subplot going on and they need to fix it or whatever).

Once everyone's outside and reunited (and de-petrified {watch the movie}) the day is saved, Casper makes up with his friend, and Kybosh reveals that he too was friendly when he was young and wanted Casper to grow out of it [young bisexual grew into repressed het lifestyle believing it is phase].

TLDR: Everytime the movie uses "friendly" just replace it with "f*g" and you'll see what I mean.

Finals Thoughts: Too many parallels for it to be a coincidence; I am not crazy. My last piece of evidence is these two who are so obviously a gay couple. (I am not crazy)

#private thoughts #i am not fucking crazy #watch it yourself god damnit #gay #Casper's Scare School

[offleshandbone]

☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊ Mulebur RP Blog ₊‧⁺˖

★₊˚୭ This blog is run by @dreamlnder ★ °☆ ✎ ̼ Mulebur's behavior is heavily affected by my own hcs and beliefs, this may not line up with your own ^_^ ! ★₊˚୭ This is run for purely rp and entertainment purposes °☆ ✎ ̼ This blog is part of the bursonaverse by @emeraldsandpearlsxx

★₊˚୭ Asks and interactions are heavily encouraged as they are what boost this blog :3 ! °☆ ✎ ̼ Answers are not guaranteed based on the context as well as anything going on IRL.

☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊ Character Info ︶꒷꒦ ꒷︶꒷︶꒦

★₊˚୭ Mulebur, or Butcher as they will be referred to as, uses primarily they/them and it/its pronouns. Though when interacting with others will use she/her. °☆ ✎ ̼ Everything from the natural disaster mod is canon here though is heavily edited as to better fit their story, this however excludes anything post volcano. ★₊˚୭ Butcher, like the other characters I write, has bipolar disorder. °☆ ✎ ̼ Mule and Butcher are two separate entities behavior wise, Butcher will be represented with normal text, whilst Mule's will be bolded like this. ★₊˚୭ They are quick to lash out !! Interact with caution !! °☆ ✎ ̼ CW for this blog, heavy mentions of death, mutilation self mutilation, graphic descriptions of violence and death, cannibalism, and religious imagery. ☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊ This will be updated as time goes on. ₊‧⁺˖

☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊ Tag list ︶꒷꒦ ꒷︶꒷︶꒦

★₊˚୭ Mule_bits ★ General txt posts °☆ ✎ ̼ Flesh from my bones ★ Rp posts ★₊˚୭ A cacophony of voices ★ Ask answers °☆ ✎ ̼ Open bits shop ★ IRL posts ★₊˚୭ Private thoughts ★ Suggestive Posting °☆ ✎ ̼ Shooting Starz ★ Admin posting

#bursonaverse #bursonas #Mule_bits #Flesh from my bones #A cacophony of voices #Open bits shop #Private thoughts #Shooting Starz

[laragazzanelsuolabirinto]

Chissà cosa esattamente mi impedisce di arrivare esattamente dove vorrei. Ne ho fatta di strada, e ne ho fatta veramente molta, da quando fino a poco tempo fa avevo la morte nel cuore e non facevo altro che piangere, e Dio se sono grata che mi sembri un mondo a parte rispetto a quello in cui vivo ora. Non vedo l'ora di scoprire cosa mi trattiene dal prendermi il corpo che voglio. Il cibo è spesso un rifugio molto comodo, uno sfogo molto immediato, un rifugio molto confortante. Voglio affrontare i traumi che mi hanno portato a vederlo come uno scomodo confidente e trovare quella soddisfazione che cerco, stavolta non illusoria ma permanente, altrove.

Per quanta strada ancora ci sia da fare, comunque, sono fiera di me. Dannatamente fiera.

#thoughts #me #private thoughts #dear diary

[aftermidnightmoon]

Take me back to the streets of Italy..

#authencity #thankful #fantasy #fairytale #rightplace #wrong partner #long walks #private thoughts #ready #to run #hopeful #but still #in the end #it didn’t matter

[theblueststar]

UNTITLED

most of the time i feel hopeless,

but tonight I'm sitting on the floor of my childhood bedroom with a guy I've known since 2 grade, and his hair is curly now, his voice is deeper, but he has the same smile, and i still have the valentine card he gave me in 2017.

tonight I'm watching my little brother play riptide on a guitar my dad gifted him, the warm light of the lamp illuminates the wallpaper, it looks just like it did five years ago, and his voice while he sings sounds just like it did when he was 6 at his school's Christmas play

tomorrow, I'll feel hopeless again, but tomorrow doesn't matter right now

i smile and look up at the ceiling.

tonight, it feels like everything is going to be just fine.

#childhood #poetry #journal #private thoughts #first post #Spotify #vance joy #riptide #music #that feeling when you talk to a childhood friend again and realize your life is just beginning

[darkobssessions]

January 23rd, 2023

the Art and Craft of Miss X

the known unknown of/in the universe

you want a face?

i will give you one.

you will see one, you will see many

life is but the art of mastering the flow of energy between states

leaving behind an imprint of itself like ghosts of impressions on people in rooms long before and after they have met you

a lingering perfume, the scente of jasmines

wafting from between the pages, pressed flowers

blackened and perfect, side by side

this memory, this one hurts

hold the flower close

to brace for the razor

there is blood here

there was, quite a lot of blood

these scars all here

all that is left is a mark where once they were secrets

now the secrets show

and the meaning of pinned insect, or beetle in a glass jar or exotic fish in a fish bowl becomes apparent

voyeurism into the secrets of my being

but seemingly never understadning

watching across a divide and taking pleasure in that, for whatever reason.

to have fun with my person

to make fun of my being

to judge my mistakes

or to bait me for sport

i am open

and I am also empty if you look deep enough

because I am so vast

that I contain it all

and it all looks like a grain of sand, to you.

#personal #private thoughts #my writing #late night poetry #spilled ink #writers of tumblr #poet #confessions #dark obsessions #dark thoughts #dark confessions #autistic experience #chronicles #journal #journey #memoir #scent of jasmines #autobiography #the archives of madness #welcome to my blog #i make tales of my pain #don't give up

[mentalhealthwordvomit]

funny i havent wrote anything about this yet but im fully having a, not bad but more weird, time trying to work out my gender identity. AMAB isnt just an acronym ive made up im sure. ive known i wasnt cis for a little while, im sure to be one to avoid things until i cant anymore so its likely this whole thing is very delayed. obviously i dont identify with being a man but i also dont see myself as a woman either. that all being said, i do feel that, dependant on the day/hour/vibe, sometimes i feel like a man or woman or both or neither really. is this gender fluid? i feel trepidation (i could be using that wrong) about just googling it. maybe thats because it would mean id have to fully admit these things to myself.

#lgbt #lgbtqia+ #gender fluid #questioning #private thoughts

[drywall-muncher]

"Did you know?

Inside every woman.. is a universe."

Sounds like something Saphos would write as she was recalling her true love who passed away by being swept up by the sea and carried off by whales mourning her death.

But no!

It's from Metal Gear, GOD DAMNIT

#private thoughts #quotes #saphos #metal gear #being giga-based as usual #lesbians4MetalGear

[deamamissa]

Tryina learn not to get upset and go drinking

It's messing up my liver

And my thinking.

Asking God to forgive me

Hopefully He's listening....

............

Please continue to guide me,

Protect me from all sides

So I'm not walking into anything blindy.

Give me more strength

so that i may lead properly.

Throwing away temptations

But its not like it's bothering me

I gotta pretty clear head,

With You ,

I know that there's nothing stopping me.

Except for those demons that keep on following me.

#poetry #silent poets #prayer #music #thoughts #private thoughts #writers on tumblr #motivation #poemsbyme #writers and poets #poem #spirituality #prayfortheworld #guidance

[nymph1e]

On Discomfort and Morality

My father finds gay men uncomfortable.

He's told me before that it's like a knee-jerk for him. Something he doesn't consciously control. He sees two men behaving romantically, and his body reacts with mild discomfort.

In the 1960s, when he was in high school, most of the boys in his form thought he was gay on the simple fact that he wasn't homophobic. He wouldn't participate in insulting queer people, he didn't care if someone was gay, he wouldn't have a problem hanging out with gay people. So people thought he was gay. That's how prevalent homophobia was in his formative years.

When I was 10, my dad told me very seriously that Holmes and Watson were gay. That it was obvious from the literature and the time period that they were meant to be a gay couple. When I was 14 and I came out to my parents as bi, when my mum was upset my dad ripped into her for it. Told her that she was being stupid, that it was my life to live how I wanted to and that she needed to get over herself.

My dad formed my views on censorship: that being that it was completely ridiculous and thoroughly evil. He didn't believe in censorship of any kind. If I asked him a question about sex, he answered it honestly. When I was 12 and I asked him about homosexuality, still young and uncertain, he told me that there was nothing wrong with it. That it was just how some people were. That there was likely an evolutionary reason for it. And that for some people it was uncomfortable on an instinctual level.

He taught me that just because you're uncomfortable with something, doesn't make it wrong. He also taught me that most people don't understand this.

I see a lot of this on the internet as of the last few years. The anti shipping movement, the terf movement, the anti ace movement. It all stems from discomfort that people have crossed wires into believing means wrong. Really every -ism and -phobia out there stems from this same fundamental aspect of humanity.

The next time you see something and you automatically think it's disgusting, or wrong, or immoral, I invite you to ask yourself: is this actually wrong or does this just make me uncomfortable?

#shipping discourse #anti censorship #anti terf #my mum isn't homophobic #she was upset because she thought it meant i couldnt have children or a family #and this is something important to her #she was also not upset around me but to my dad in private