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darlingofvalyria · 7 months

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❝I am the Heir's Wife. I bore the Heir his lineage. I will not be swept aside.❞

[ The Prince Jacaerys Velaryon should have known his wife better— or at least, her ire, for when his trysts with the bastard Snow reached the Spiders and soon, the ears of his Princess Consort, rage and war drummed for Winterfell, demanding heads.

—Maestre Kevan, Volume IV of The Bastard Eater, passage chapter under 'The Flame that Sung for the North'. ]

[ +18 MDNI ] [ 10,062 ] [ series masterlist ] | jacaerys velaryon x targaryen aunt!reader (aegon's twin sister), one-sided aegon ii x reader, jace x sara snow

contains— canon divergence - manipulative reader, targcest, smut, angst - post-vizzy t death, rhaenyra is queen - mentions of children, pregnancy, childbirth - allusions to infidelity & character death(s) - targaryen madness, revenge, domestic violence (not jace), unhinge behaviour, intense use of 'bastard', profanity, gaslighting, guilt-tripping - this is basically gone girl, you gone girl jace - dark fic - mentions of depression (aegon ii), allusions to suicide (not reader) - nsfw: oral (f receiving), breeding kink, creampie - no kings, no martyrs, no betas.

a/n— i didn't think i was going to do the sara snow thing, but herewe are. also i just wanted an excuse to go absolutely ape shit. reader gets very intense, like thoroughly unhinged. this is literally me supporting women's wrongs. it is also quite insane that this reached 10k and it's still just the first part lmaooo + comment, reblog & like at will!

"THAT FUCKING BASTARD! THAT GODSDAMNED, WHORE-FUCKING STRONG HALF BREED!"

Your shrieks echo stone and shadow, interrupted only by the things you pick up and hurl. Anything your hands grab, you throw and spit obscenities against, rage and tears ruin your pretty visage. The fury swept past your cherub features, a dragon breaking through the Hightower seams, upending fire and roar from the pits of your being.

"HOW DARE HE?! I GAVE HIM AN HEIR! I BROUGHT HIM PEACE! I BETRAYED—" you roar, pulling your pearl dagger— a gift from your Strong Bastard of a Husband — and throwing it to your vanity mirror, glass shards exploding. "— MY KIN!"

"DAUGHTER, PLEASE!"

Arms wound across your torso—hardened and chain-mail — as you fight against your bounds before a pain flashes to your cheek. Your rage quiets, hard breaths from your lungs. You turn your tear-stained anger to your mother and her palm, fright and terror on her regale visage.

Death of a spouse becomes the Queen Dowager in her pale blue robe and unbound spirals of auburn hair. Peace had begotten a realm that is balanced on the lineage you had produced for the Queen, her heir, and your own, as the new Princess of Dragonstone. With Otto Hightower for evermore banished to Oldtown, Kings Landing had been brought to a flowering kindness.

Queen Rhaenyra's ascension had been a wondrous affair, fit the for the first crowned Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Not a Queen Consort, not a Queen Regent. An heir who rose for the crown always meant to be hers.

But the calamity that brewed in her ascension... no. You paved the peace. T'was you who wrangled the Great Houses that proved allyship to your twin brother's banner, you who blessed her with tranquility of a rule that will be known for ages that will precede you all.

And now her son... her son dared to destroy everything.

A conversation floats above your head, by your Queen Mother and her sworn shield, the Ser Cole, but you barely hear anything past the ringing in your head.

The Targaryen Madness the sheep so call it, an idle voice, faint and familiar, whispers in the niches of your brain. It has infected you so. It breathes, fuelled by the air wrought by your husband's betrayal. It sings, sweet love. It sings.

"—your grace, I urge to hold her—"

"—she is my daughter, Ser Cole, I am not in danger. Release her."

Justice, the voice shrieks? Screams? But it is so soft in your head, a wail of a memory, a woman or a man? must be had. No dragon falls in such disgrace.

The tight wound over your torso is unleashed but the knight is not far, tensed to cage you, when your mother grasps your elbows as you grab hers, nails digging into the thick fabric of her hem that she still winces, your grip steel-tight.

"My darling, please. I cannot help you if you do not speak what ails you." She brushes her hand desperately across your face, smearing your tears, trying to find the daughter she bore past the savagery and madness that beholds you now. "What has happened?"

You draw a tightened, harsh breath to your lungs, rattling your bones that you quiver in your attempt for sanity.

"I am being shamed, mother," you whisper. Stark, violet eyes meeting the worried round, brown of hers. "The Strong bastard is whoring himself to another, a Northern bastard."

A cackle falls your lips as alarmed gazes are exchanged above your head.

"Y-You cannot say such things aloud, sweet girl," your mother hushes your madness, pulling you close to her chest as she shoots a glance at the door.

Criston checks outside, but only your maids linger. Dyanna presses a finger against her lips, catching the knight's eye, and the rest scatter, surely to make sure that no one that need not know of their mistress' words is within reach. A shiver still runs his spine. He will never get used to the quiet, almost non-verbal way your connection worked and reached. Your Spiders weave webs all around, even as their mistress sunders with rage.

"Mayhaps you are mistaken, for sure the prince is loyal, and he adores you—"

You pull back against her, teeth bared. She flinches and Ser Cole steps forward, wary. "It is the third missive now that I have received. Did you think I would not have confirmed twice— thrice? I didn't believe it the first time! But three people have now confirmed that all this time, in the guise of rallying his mother's cause in the North, he is spending ample time with the Lord Stark's bastard sister. His bastard fucking sister!"

Your mother's horror catches that of Ser Criston's, but your fury is your own, you are a dragon trapped in the ruin of your own making, of the webs you had spun so cleverly to get to this point, and you cannot stop.

"I am the Heir's Wife. I bore the Heir his lineage, my blood spilled the birthing bed for it." A cry leaves your lips as your grief and rage pools like ichor from your chest to the floor. Alicent is torn away from you— your nails had gone through her robe and she had cried in pain, a mimick of your own, a mother to a daughter to a mother to a daughter, a cycle, an Ouroboros — and you fall to the floor, grasping at your chest.

"I will not be swept aside. I will not be ignored."

A gasp falls from your lips as your mind moves to a quiet, still place. The tremble fades, your rage and grief whirls, collects, as you push it all back inside your chest.

Your madness must be sharpened for it be used as a sword.

And you cannot let him be happy in another's arms.

If you cannot drag them to the Hells, sweet dragon, the idle voice hums, hisses? Screeches. Your ancestors— all of those who have succumbed to dreamy madness — appears in the corners of your vision like soldiers. Awaiting for you to join them. Awaiting the blood that you will spill.

Then you must raise the Hells unto Winterfell.

"...my daughter?" Alicent calls, hesitant. Cole hovers but does not approach, standing guard in protection of the Dowager. It breaks her heart to see you this way, a young woman still, much older than she was when she married but only because you had always sought your future. You had always had a hardened scale, far stronger than she.

Even when you made your entrance to the world— the unmeasurable pain of bringing not one, but two heirs into the world, her firstborns, all at once — you had never cried. The maestres, maids, they worried for you, as your twin brother had not stopped crying, so alive and red, raw from the wound of being fresh.

But you... you had not made a sound.

The entire weight of your being— your mind, your emotions — even then, you wrangled them close to your very centre, never letting them stray too far from the edges of your fingertips. As if any release must be made with a perused thought. An incentive of reason.

Even then, you plotted every step you took.

Now, Alicent watches as her firstborn daughter suctions all her emotions— that Targaryen madness that plagued the blood of her husband, his ancestors — and made her ploy.

Against the husband that dared make a fool of her.

The silence beckons nightmare. Old fear flickers inside the Queen Dowager.

"Where are my daughters?"

"What?"

"My daughters," you repeat, a hair's breadth louder than the first time you spoke. Your eyes flutter upward. The deadened gaze curled Alicent's heart in fear. "Where are they?"

"In the nursery, with the twins and Maelor. Helaena and Aegon are watching them."

You offer your hand up mutely, and Cole exchanges one last, lingering look with the Dowager, before offering his own. You stand up, thank him softly, and brush and clean up your face to the best of your ability. An utter calmness over your visage.

"Tell no one of what I had told you," you say, fixing your hair and rubbing the red from your cheeks. One minute there is madness, the next there is nothing. There is only a girl. A woman. A princess. "No one knows apart the three of us, and if you ever decide, Ser Criston, that nigh is the glorious time for you to betray my mother or I, know that the last thing thing oyu will fear is the Stranger's hand when I am through with you."

Your mother shouts your name, horrified. "What are you thinking? What are you plotting?"

You cup Alicent's face, smiling ever sweet. "Your innocence will keep you safe, mother. All I ask, for the heart you keep for your children, that you keep this between sealed lips and tilted chin. You know nothing, yes?"

"... Yes. Nothing."

You place a tender kiss on your mother's head. "Keep Daenera and Aemma safe for me. Aegon and I are flying to Dragonstone promptly. Sweet Helaena does ever so get overwhelmed by watching all of the children by herself."

"D-Dragonstone?"

Your sweet smile touched with poison, stretches. "It is high time I take a dragon for myself, don't you think so?"

While an insecure obsession had fraught your younger brother about claiming a dragon, you had met it with indifference.

For how can you not mourn the loss of Aemond's sight, staring in quiet horror the entire time as the maestre did his best to salvage the muck mess of blood and nerve endings, before the old man had shaken his head, and you turned to the small bowl that contained your brother's eye, unable to look at anything else.

Not even when your mother's rage was met with apathy and anger, her demands for justice nothing more than a woman's insanity, a mother's grief that must be swept away, tucked under a chin and a sadness she will never get rid of.

"Do not mourn me, mother. It was a fair exchange. I may have lost an eye, but I gained a dragon."

Your soft-hearted, darling, baby brother. None of his words had thawed the freezing of your heart, the grief under the swell of your breastbone.

Your own mourning was kept between teeth and tongue, as you had slept with your siblings that night. The four of you, tucked under the wing of the other, Aemond close to your chest as possible, as quiet, hot tears ran down your face. Every moan of pain or whimper he made in his sleep tore at each new vein inside of you.

"Dragons are the symbol of our House's power," Aegon had once said, windswept hair you tried to tame with your fingers, smelling fresh of Sunfyre and winds.

"And yet, there were no eggs in our child beds." He stiffened while you smiled sadly, curling your twin's hair away form his face, making him presentable and dusting the bout of sand that managed to find his leathers. You had been scolded long before by your grandsire of how you coddle Aegon, how you defend him, mother him more than your mother ever could, but you cannot stop. You were meant to care for him, tethered you once were inside your mother's womb together, you hold him steady now.

Whenever he was lost, whenever his sadness overtook him, wrung your brother dry of life, you bat the Stranger's hand and bring him back.

"But we have proved them wrong," he insisted. "All of us, even Aemond with Vhagar— the war queen, Visenya's dragon — we have claimed ours. Daeron all the way Oldtown has Tessarion, even Helaena has Dreamfyre. And yet you insist..."

You wound your arms over his torso, keeping him close in a silly hug where you sway and dance him around. A laugh escaped him while you inhaled the scent of smoke, soot, and that grime stench of beast.

Aegon on his good days lacked the bottle-edge of wine, of cheap salts from the waft of the soiled, Silk Streets.

This was your brother. No one else.

"I fare better without one," you whispered in his ear. "I appear innocent, sweet almost, without a beast in my command. They look at me with nothing but pity and the urge to protect me. Our father likes me like this, his poor, lovely daughter without a dragon of her own, listening so intently to his histories of Old Valyria. Our sister is eased, as one daughter is plagued by dreams and struggles with the real world, while the other cannot even claim a dragon of her own. Poor princess, Hightower blood must have thickened in her veins. She too, is no threat."

You pulled back, smiling at him. "They like me better like this. Pitiful, compliant, nothing but a sweet and pretty flower that sways in the Spring breeze. A beautiful decoration but no more."

He rubbed a thumb on your arm, a worry knot on his forehead. Aegon adored you but he struggled to piece together where your plot lies. You are a web-spinner, forever dancing out of reach, catching prey and lengthening your intricacies. "Is that why you hide your training with Aemond alone? Ser Criston is mother's sworn shield, he would not mind—"

"I will not place my secrecies to a knight with a soiled cloaked," you snorted. "No matter how tall he stands beside our mother. I trust no one but my kin. And I know that no matter how heavy you drink, sweet Aeg of mine, my secrets are your own."

He took your hand, kissing the back of it, stare impregnable. "As your blood is my own, our fire is one flame. I go where you tell me to."

You kissed his cheek, a reward, laughing. He smiles proudly at the sound. At this time, you dangled yourself to your brother as bait as the pressure from your grandsire to make him King started rising. You had been given notice that he had been talking to House Lannister, Wylde, even some Riverland lords.

You did not mind becoming Aegon's second wife. Just as his namesake, he will have his Rhaenys and Visenya. Unlike the Conqueror however, he would adore his Visenya more than a true flower. Helaena would enjoy that far better.

"And if I tell you to jump?" you half-purred.

"I will ask you how high."

Memories and choices break and tide as you scramble for hold on the rocky cliff face. Dragonmont in the dark is a behemoth beast, a screech or two breaking like lightning crackles, or the familiar drum beat of wings before the silence consumes once more. The stench of fire, of beasts and carcasses helps cloak the darkened night.

"Udligon ñuha brōzagon, Answer my call," you hiss into fraudulent emptiness, hands gripping rocky edges until your blood beads, "you fucking lizards."

"Have you gone mad!?"Aegon shouted, trying to pace with your run to the dragonpit.

A rocky laugh broke out from your being, not deigning that with a reply. Aegon huffed angrily.

"Alright, tell me this then. How are you so sure I'm not just about to put you on a bleeding volcano to die? We claim your dragon in the morn, sister. First thing before we break our fast. I'm sure by then, Vermithor or—"

You whipped your head around, pulling halt. "I leave tonight to claim my dragon. Whether it is you and Sunfyre who gets me there, or Aemond and Vhagar, is no matter to me. I will claim one tonight. It is up to you to decide now if we tell Aemond or not."

Aemond, whose anger is wounded tight, the barest excuse for war always at the edge of his hum. The misstep at Storm's End had cost him everything. Had cost your mother everything. Queen still, Alicent Hightower had bent the knee and offered her life in exchange for mercy. Before Rhaenyra passed judgement, Viserys I had passed.

It didn't matter that you had ensured a higher dosage from the Harrenhal witch in his usual milk of the poppy. Your spiders moving with ease through the silent channels you had established long before your own flowering.

The Red Keep had scrambled, the Heir with it. It was enough time for Lucerys to have come out of the red, confirmed to live through the worst of it without as much as a broken bone. Arrax however, had been badly maimed, and would no longer take flight. But he and his rider would live. Aemond would live. Alicent would have her son. Rhaenyea will have hers, and the crown.

Kevan had done his duty unto you while you settled the storms in Dragonstone. You rewarded him handsomely.

Aegon sighed. He too, would like your honour avenged, but not for the sake of war. "As you wish, sister. I hope you know what you're doing and I am not about to send you to your death."

Just like what you did to your mother, you reached forward and cupped his face. If before, your touch stills his heart and floods his cavities with warmth, a flash of fear strikes the twin son at the eerie smile on your face.

"Skoros morghot vestri? What do we say to the god of death?"

Aegon blinked. "Tubī daor. Not today."

You smiled. "Trust me, sweet Aeg. It is not my death the Stranger will take. Not until the fjords of the North are at my mercy."

"Iksan kesīr sir naejot māzigon ñuha sikagon pakto! I am here now to claim my birth right!" Your scream echoes and falls, repeating back to you. There is a hum, like an electric current that sizzles and pops inside your blood and marrow, and you scramble higher and higher on the rock. Your blood does not sing for the dragon lairs, but above. Up and up, jagged edges cut your skin and dress, the wind whipping with sea mist, but nothing, no one, can clamour you as you reach the peak.

At first you see nothing but darkness and hollow sounds. But you let your eyes adjust, a hiss breaking out of your dry lips as you stumble. You look down. What you first thought were rocks and wayward bones of cattle is bigger.

Whale? No.

Dragon. Dragon bone.

You look and will every sense that your eyes do not. The smell that is drowned— iron. Bones bigger than a person. Than cows and whales. Bones of fearsome beasts. Darkness moves, taking form, more than shadow. Scales hewn rough and jagged, as if stone themselves. Midnight black moving with the gentlest of sighs.

As soon as you realise what— or who — is in front of you, the eyes open with an intelligent gleam. Your heart jolts at the emerald irises that gaze back at you, slitting at the appearance of a human.

'The stench of death follows him', the voice of an old keeper hums into your ear. You no longer remember who told this to you, but the words ring true in your memory. 'Scales of midnight, as if hewn from darkness and death. A harbinger, your grace, an omen of the darkest nightmares.'

"Rytsas. Hello." You smile, ever sweet, ever charming.

This is a thread you had never felt before. Not one of your own making, but something older. A golden thread that led the eyes of Daenys the Dreamer. That spun the ties of Aegon the Conqueror. The voices that herded your madness had gone quiet in the mad rush to get here, but now their presence thickens. Words you cannot hear, nor understand, flood the silence as dragon met rider for the first time.

Keepers and historians have called him he, but every bone in your body tells you that the being before you is a she.

And wouldn't that make sense? A cannibalistic being is a woman?

She opens her maw, only ever slightly, smoke and fire crackling out of it. Molten lava in the belly of her insides tease the cool, night air and warms you.

Her version of a smile. Hello, she seem to say.

"Māzīs. Come," you say, giggling. "Dohaerās. Serve."

That night, you took your first flight.

That night, the Cannibal took her first flight with her first— and only — rider as well.

❝ . . . It is said that the formerly named "The Cannibal" had been entranced by the hunger of his new— first and evermore — rider. Prince Aegon the Elder who had escorted his twin sister that very night with Sunfyre, had looked up in alarm and fright to a maddened screech. Excitement and laughter pouring out from the newly bonded Dragon and Rider had soon turned fear into awe.

Gaelithox, she had been named as they had ridden until dawn broke by the rider who loved her 'till the end of their days, was said to have seen a mirror in Her Grace. The fathomless hunger for blood and organ from the same bodies of their kin. For Gaelithox ever hungers and satisfies for the same meat as her, at the height of her grief and ire that fuelled the Queen Consort to climb Dragonmont by hand, she too hungered for the throats of her traitorous blood.

Gaelithox will only have one rider in her whole life, as she found no same twin soul as akin in the Bastard Eater Queen. Their bond moved as if two bodies beheld one soul.

She shied from humans, and oft found too rough with other dragons. Vhagar was an exception, oft seen acting as an elder sister to the Queen's dragon when neither royal rode them and played in the skies. Smaller dragons were forbidden to approach her however, nor was she allowed in the dragonpit after almost devouring the flightless Arrax.

She died two moons after the Queen's death, delivering her final flames for her rider and would never more breathe her infamous green flames akin to Wildfire, ordered by the Crowned Heir, Princess Daenera Velaryon. It is said that the princess attempted to bond with the cannibalistic dragon but it refused.

The dragon spent her last moons in heartbreak, oft seen in Dragonstone and the Red Keep, circling her rider's most favourite places. Her final resting place is at the very top of Dragonmont from whence the Queen claimed her. It is said that the Queen's crown, the one the King Jacaerys had gifted her after the birth of their first sons, the Princes Laenor and Gaemon, is said to be placed there, as well as a portion of her ashes.

It is said that the King and the Queen's twin brother, the Prince Aegon, personally made the trek in remembrance.

It is widely suspected that Aelyx, Princess Daella's dragon, the youngest child of the King and Queen, may have been Gaelithox's only existing hatchling for he too is made of rough, midnight scales. The dragon that bred with her remains to be unknown. ❞

—Maestre Kevan Noratz, Volume X of The Life and Lies of the Emerald Flame, passage chapter under 'The Time of Hunger: Gaelithox'.

You leave Gaelithox to a mournful goodbye on Dragonstone, pressing your forehead against her hard, scaly head, promising to come back, of exchanging her diet for fat, juicy whales, for more wind-whipped rides, before riding back on Sunfyre with Aegon. The younger dragon would not rise from the beaches in fear of the cannibalistic elder, but you made ensuring promises to teach Gaelithox not to chew your dearest brother's dragon.

You had gone most of your life without the feeling of a bond beneath you, warm and alive and wild, and the roar and stench that though new, felt so familiar in your ribcage— you will fly again. And with your brothers beside you. With Helaena and her lovely Dreamfyre.

To think they had taken this from you too, to placate them. To play into their hands like a mewling kitten.

No more.

It is paces before fast is about to break when you both touch back down to Kings Landing. The Keep busying with its occupants, servants and maids bolstering with quickened feet to ensure the lords and royals are awakened with full, poached meals, dresses and coats readied for their lords and ladies, a new, glorious day under the Reign of the Black Queen.

"What now?" Aegon asks, trying to keep with your pace but he is fatigued, failing to stop his yawns. The excitement of last night had come upon him like a fog, and he is missing his bed. Hells, he is missing the bed he stays with his wife if it meant he would get a full night's sleep in the hours of the day.

"Now, we speak nothing of what happened."

He turns to you, frowning. "Just like that?"

"Just like that." You beam, nodding in favour of soldiers and maids who bow in reverence to the Crown Princess. You know you smell of dragon and night, and you need a bath. And to talk to Dyanna before you seek your daughters. "I will need time and people. The board must still be set for me to perfectly execute what I have in store."

"Alright." He yawns again. "I'll be in my quarters, passed out, if you need me. Please do not need me until sup."

You laugh breathlessly, grabbing his hand and giving it a wet kiss. "I will give you your rest, be assured. Kirimvose, dōna lēkia, Thank you, sweet brother."

The words are simple, said in a quiet murmur heavy with love and meaning. Aegon presses a loving kiss to your head, unable to stop himself winding an arm around you.

"Syt ao, va moriot, ñuha prūmia. For you, always, my heart."

As you break to each other's chambers— his, to sleep, you, already meeting Yna and requesting for a bath — you don't notice the lurker that watched the intimate moment between twins, humming in amusement before it moves to follow you.

Back in your quarters— your marriage quarters as Jacaerys had requested that you forgo having your own, not wishing to part with you — the maids are already busying themselves airing the room, moving to follow your usual routine. The only thing breaking it is the tub now in the centre.

"Thank you," you say to Yna as she picks out the pins from your hair, shrugging off your dress in the process as soon as the maids had untangled the lace behind you.

"Call for Dyanna," you tell them as they bow and leave, the door clicking softly behind them. Plans must be made. Bath for now.

With the world stifled for a second, left with only you and your thoughts, you plunge your body under too-hot water, sighing against the aches and pains in your body. Dragon-riding is a new endeavour to your muscles, and though enjoyable, was still too new.

You sigh as tears fall from your eyes, blinking exhaustedly against soft, humming daylight. You had always known that love, as it is, is a maiden's folly. A foolish, hapless play meant to fool young girls into thinking the world is kind; a pretty place.

It was an even farther thought from you, a princess of the realm. At a young age, it has been drilled to you that your womb is a rare commodity. Your body has never been your own, a piece meant to be moved in a bigger game that you are used for, not play.

You weren't stupid.

If there's a few things Otto Hightower had ever granted you, apart from gifting you his keen prowess in moving power beneath your fingertips, in hungering for more, for better— it is understanding what each person is, who they can be, how you can move them. A flatter, a flair, a push. As a man, there is much to be desired about your grandsire; he used people, used family to pursue power, but you can't truly fault him for that as you were the same.

You just took better care of the people under your wing.

And for Jace, you had banished him.

The worst part, you knew there was a good, fat chance you would care for the princeling. He was a kind man, a sweet man, and with a guiding hand, you could forge yourself the best husband for yourself as much as you can mould a great king and a wonderful father. Women's hands are ever carved to mould and prod men. We stand behind, a presence or a hand, an echo of power.

But your Jace had surpassed it all, and in the moons leading up to your present day, to giving him his heirs, two beautiful daughters, the promised full Valyrian colouring in the silver hair in Daenera, your eldest, the wide, violet gaze in Aemma— the name of his mother's mother, a request of him that you had kindly, graciously fucking agreed to — of course there is a part of you, the girlish, tender heart that you long thought you had buried to get here, would fall for the brown-eyed, wondrous man.

You sink deeper into the tub, sighing as you let yourself unravel—

When you feel it. A presence in your room. It's soft. Silent. Not a lot would feel as such, but as paranoid as you are, as you keep your spiders clean and pretty with your dewy-eyed webs— you know better.

Your mind runs with ideas on who it might be, and come to a few people. No true name rises. The Red Keep is flooded with spies and traitors. You test your luck, sitting up on the tub, raising an arm over the lip of it and flicking water with your fingertips.

"If you are here to kill me, I'm afraid it will be a lost cause."

He laughs, sardonic and edged and familiar, jetting a tingle down your spine.

Well. There's getting a calm bath.

"Perceptive as always, niece," he says, heavy footfalls approaching now that he has been caught. "I'm just here to say hello."

You raise your eyes, mouth curled but unsmiling at the man who acts as the biggest thorn to your plots. Daemon Targaryen has never fallen through your webs, on guard against your flatter, your push, or your flair. Of course, taking the position of his daughter might have forever burnt that road, but you would think he'd ease up just a little bit when his wife, the Queen, had warmed to you considerably.

Unlike your mother, you had never been hostile to your bitch of an elder sister. Just like your plots for Aegon and Jacaerys, and nodding along to thread your father had started but abandoned, foolishly thinking the realm would follow without him fully ensuring your sister's claim to the throne— you carefully maintained a polite farce with Rhaenyra.

Ultimately, this became a boon to you, as she had responded positively to your abrupt marriage to her son, even reminding her deranged guard dog of their own marriage. The cream to your lemon cake had been when you birthed Aemma, the Queen's most favourite grandchild thus far. When she was a babe, Rhaenyra was never far; almost, always holding your daughter, cooing at her cheeks, remarking her likeness to her namesake with pure fondness.

But Daemon Targaryen knew, in the deepness of his marrow, that there is something wrong with you.

"Hello," you answer primly. He laughs, leaning against the passage to your open balcony. "We could have had this elating greeting at fast, if you wish to break it with me and my own."

He scoffs, unable to hide his disdain at the thought. It breaks his stare of your naked visage. Men. "I would rather jump to the fighting pits, good daughter."

"How rude. Is that all?" You meet his gaze steadily, tilting your head. "If it is not obvious yet, good father, I am bathing."

An amused smirk. "I can see that." Lecherous fucking geezer. "No matter. I just have a... curious thought, a wonder I suspect you may be able to answer. See. Truly odd it is, for the keepers to alert me this morning that Sunfyre had taken a ride past the Hour of Owl." Your heart thuds in your ribcage and you do your best to keep your expression mildly irritated. "Not with one, drunken rider, but with another. It had taken them hours, only coming back when morning had already presented in the air."

He steps forward, slow, menacing, until he reaches the edge of your tub and crouches. Your gazes are still unmatched in height, defiant as yours might be.

"The distinct smell wafts them, a Keeper said, and one suspects that though one dragon left last night, two might have come back this morning for he had seen another fly away." His fingers dips into the water, swirling the steam without breaking eye contact. "I wonder if you know anything about it, darling niece of mine."

The mocking emphasis is not lost on you. If the Queen is the Realm's Delight, you were Darling of the Realm. A sweet, merry girl, the secondborn daughter of Viserys I who frequently fought for the plight of the small folk, who gathered friends of all kinds of lords and ladies no matter the standing of their houses to her own, visiting far lands and charming every person in any room. Who made any feast brighter, always sparkling, always the darling.

Less of a dragon, more of a fairytale.

You sit up, leaning, baring your breasts completely to him as you pull yourself up on the ledge he is crouched from. He leans back, only slightly, as you smile demurely. Sweet. Tart. On the edge of pulling his head and hitting it against the copper tub.

"I am unsure of what you suspect, or is accusing me of, kepus, uncle," you purr and there's a twitch in his mouth, a widen in his irises— men are so fucking simple — "I had been feeling down last night, as my husband, as you know, is beyond my reach at the moment as he rallies alliances for the good of the realm. My brother had simply offered to take me out riding, trying to quell my loneliness with an excitable flight I had never been afforded."

You tilt your head. "Even if there had been a dragon binded to my own, why why would I not regale the realm with news of my success? I have longed for a dragon of my own, but alas, I have not quite succeeded where most of the family have." You pout. His eyes flicker. "Mayhaps I am more Hightower than I am Targaryen."

A huff leaves his lips, the amusement in his smile arching to his dark, dark gaze. Before you can react, his hand had comes forward to hold your chin in a tight grip, your jaw aching soon enough at the fingers that dig against your skin, wanting to bruise, to break.

Though a tremble passes your body, you keep his stare, gritting your teeth as the pad of his thumb brushes your lips. Moments and desires thrum between a charged hatred.

The lust is twisted from wanting to fuck you to wanting to kill you. The line is not simple. Maybe that is your fate together.

But he can't. You are well too ingrained in his family now, loved by the people he cared about. You are untouchable. For now. This is a warning, waiting for you to stutter, to show your hand. Any show of your true intentions... he is more than happy to swing Dark Sister across your throat.

He releases you without another word, standing up and leaving through the front door, the door clicking shut.

You sink back into the bath, letting the water engulf you.

Your daughters are moons apart in birth, and there are only a few differences between them that people oft remarked they could be twins. Daenera is taller, spindly. Built like Aemond when he was younger. Her hair is spun moon and eyes of mullish blue. It reminds you of Daeron's eyes. You had named Daenera yourself, a gruelling birth that took the entire night. You promised Jacaerys he could name the second. He had chosen Aemma for a girl, Laenor for a boy.

Not a few moons later, you were with child again. Your husband pinked at the cheeks at the chiding from his family. When she cried into the afternoon sun—Aemma was born mid day, during a council meeting — he pain did not stop the laugh that came out of your mouth from the horrified expression from the Master of Coin as your water broke.

Aemma had a sweetheart face, cheeks much fatter than her older sister's, with a yellowish tinge to her hair, curlier too, reminding you of Aegon. And Aemma laughed more, her deep, violet eyes always half closed as she exploded in giggles and bright, sunshine happiness.

Sons they might not be, but you had given heirs for the throne. And for them, you would do anything to keep their futures intact. Bond with a dragon, face the Rogue Prince, upheave Winterfell. Anything.

You flounce to the nursery where you know the two would be, smiling sweetly at every person you pass as they bow in reverence. Most wore sights of confusion, their greedy eyes and wagging tongues drinking in the deep, emerald glisten of your gown.

It's an old dress, one you keep in the corner of your collection. It isn't as if you had forgo the colours of your mother's house, but playing court meant every movement, even the clothes you wear, can be meaningful. And since your marriage, your Jace liked you in Velaryon colours.

"A goddess come to bless," he gasped against your collarbone, keeping your legs high on his waist as he rutted into you before his teeth sunk on your skin. As newlyweds go, there is not a lot of teasing to be had for your husband to curl against you in a darkened alcove. Merely wearing his favourite colour on your skin has him panting like a dog. His favourite dress is a seafoam blue that dragged longer against the ground in a soft, almost-gossamer material with a silver belt.

Enticing him never took long, but you enjoyed the dance presented. You enjoyed the dark hunger that filled him until he grabbed you to take you because he just had to take you.

The fresh wound slices deeper as you imagine all the things Jacaerys is doing to the so called Sara Snow. The emerald green of your gown shimmers with your anger.

"Fucking bastards," you can't help but say aloud, nodding at the guards posted on the nursery as you hear the squeals of your daughter and the calm, even voice of your brother.

"Muña! Mother!" Aemma squeals, untangling herself from being pressed against Aegon's side as the children— Daenera and Jaehaera — cuddle around him, before running to you. Helaena is on the floor, entertaining baby Maelor. Your mother, hands twisting against her own, stands vigil by the window, staring far ahead.

You catch your secondborn, giggling as you pressed kiss after kiss on her face.

"I see everyone has started without me. Where is Jaehaerys?"

"You were late, sodjisto, aunt," Jaehaera grins gummily. Jahaera is only a year older than Daenera. Your daughters, five and a half and five respectively. "Jaehaerys is with kepus, uncle. They are training."

"Smart girl." You meet your brother's gaze, whose eyes had notably been staring at your dress, mouth turned down. "Why don't you three play with Helaena? I shall speak about Name Day gifts for your Uncle Joffrey for a bit, hm?"

As Aemma shrieks something about cakes, and Daenera dutifully kissing your cheek in greeting before she takes Jaehaera's hand, you turn to your brother and mother.

"Aemond?" you ask softly, keeping your voice out of earshot. Alicent shakes her head. You nod. "Good. We don't want him inciting a war before I have mine properly planned."

As the Dowager draws in a sharp inhale, Aegon grabs your hands, the worry pulled taunt in his eyebrows. "Are you seriously contemplating war, sister? Isn't there a better way to punish them?"

"What punishment does a man regale in?" you hiss, stepping close to him. "Or the Queen's heir for the bloody matter? When Aemond nearly killed Lucerys, and he confronted me as if I had ordered Vhagar to tear through his brother, I thought I had put to bed any doubts in our marriage. It seems that men stray, regardless. My daughters may be his heir now, but what is to say that bastard wildling he's found himself cock deep in produces a son? Will he shame me with a mistress? Or will he shame me with a second wife?"

Your mother's lips tightens, her fingers paling at how tight she is gripping her nerves.

"Bastard or not, if he takes her to wife, I will be nothing. Make that babe a son, and the realm will rally for it. Daenera is his heir. My daughters will not be forgone. I will not be pushed aside. This is mercy, brother," you say softly, tucking a stray curl behind his ear. "My last one. It requires time, moons, to unfurl. It requires seeding doubt and unfathomable inadequacy. Better if Aemond is none the wiser, Helaena the same. But I will need both of you for this to work. It is the only time I will ever ask. For me. For my daughters."

"And you will punish Winterfell with a war?" your mother asks, frown pulled deep. "That is the plan?"

"I will not. I won't do such a thing so blatant, mother, you know me better than that. But this is my last mercy, and it will be the last. For the next time he offends me so, I do not care if Rhaenyra feeds me to Syrax. I will put a dagger through his heart, heir or not."

The Prince Jacaerys comes back not a week later. Though he comes back to the same castle with the same occupants— your shiny new threads gleam. The stage has been set, a play ready to act. You had sent more spiders in the North, keeping a close eye to every blasphemy your husband has been enjoying in the absence of his duties, and as the rage in you quietly grew with each new whisper, your determination hardens.

You mark each indescretion. You keep a tally.

You count for each fall your blow will land on him.

Vermax lands with a screech and a heavy thump, your husband leaping off him with a grin on his face, matching the one you own, waving your arm joyously with Aemma in your arm and Daenera beside you, holding to your skirt as she grinned at her father.

Aemma wiggles under your hold, and you let Jace get close enough before you set her down, laughing, "Okay, okay!" Her laughter carries through as she scrambles like a bull to her father. A squeal peals out of her as Jace picks her up just in time and tosses her in the air.

"Want to meet kepa, father, sweet girl?" you whisper to Daenera, running a hand down her hair before she nods, breaking out into her own sprint, hugging her father as he greets them with laughter and kisses.

You let them have their time, and this, at least, eases your heart truthfully. A kind reminder that Jace adores his daughters.

You stay at the edge of the entrance, your too-wide grin softens into a smile. You were dramatic, nothing new about that, but even in the pale, pearl blue of your dress in silky, Myrish lace, the emeralds in your heavy, golden belt winks. Green ribbons twisted in your hair alongside fresh flowers. When the trio of your family treks toward you, silver-haired babes clinging to your dark haired prince, you serve a wink at the girls and they untangle themselves from their father while you stepped forward.

A choreographed dance, not giving him time to think. To pause.

Every step is calculated, every item on your body— the silk, the small seahorse that locks your dress behind you, the tint on your lips to the oil in your hair and body — is made to perform. You engulf him in you as if you want to suffocate his senses, your arms wrapping around him with sweet kisses pressing on his face, his neck.

Most in the dragonpit looked away, others, scandalously amazed and enchanted, watch as the princess is undeniably enthralled with her lord husband.

His laughter rumbles across his body, infecting your own, smelling of dragonback and crisp winds. You wonder if your nose is more heightened, you would be able to smell his whore in him, but you don't. It's just him. Your Jace.

Your body moulds against his as his arms tightens around you. When you lean back, you sweetly press a chaste kiss on his lips, grinning.

"What is this?" he huffs a laugh, meeting your doeful gaze. Your fingers curl around his chin, his cheek, idly tapping and touching as if you are committing so much newness to memory.

"Kostagon iā ābrazȳrys daor jaelagon zirȳla valzȳrys? Can a wife not want her husband?" you ask softly, pressing a few more kisses before sucking the last one just under his ear. His body shudders. You hide your smirk. "Skori ēza issare qrīdrughagon tolī bōsa? When he has been away too long?"

A yearning look tints your gaze from under your lashes, and you have to stifle the winning smirk as guilt pinches his face.

"My apologies, my wife. I did not mean to be away from you for long. From the girls." As his eyes flick to his daughters, your mask momentarily sharpens into clear distaste. The urge to dig your fingers into his eyes until he is bleeding and screaming under you is one you tamper with great distress.

Did not mean...

Did not mean to have a dalliance with another woman?

Did not mean to fall into bed with a fucking bastard, you insidious cunt, while I await here with your heirs?

Your anger thrums, nestled deep in your heart, it breathes. You school your face the moment he turns back to you, bringing your hands to his lips, kissing each finger with reverent tenderness. His brown eyes smoulder, rubbing your bare— irises widening — back.

"If you wish it, I can be on my knees for my apologies, my princess."

Your mouth curls. "I'm afraid that might have to be quite later, my prince."

"Huh?"

"The Dowager Queen hoped to congratulate you on your successful campaigning. Reaching as far as the North so frequently, we planned a feast for your return." Eyes shinning, you cup his face. You hope the guilt eats him raw from the inside out. Like worms. Like termites. Hungry, hungry, hungry. "We have never been more proud of you, I have never been more proud of you."

You laugh brightly, ignoring the way he squeezed you just a bit harder that mere second the same time his eyes tightened. "The moment I told the girls of it, they had begged to dance with you." Then you bit your lip, frowning slightly. "I... I understand if you are tired, 'tis a long journey after all, I did try to tell them you might want to rest, we can sneak you—"

"No, no, my heart, of course I would be happy to, I— I want nothing more." He brings you close, face disappearing into your neck. "Thank you. I love you."

You hum, carding your fingers through his hair. "As I love you."

For the rest of the feast, you dance just at the edges of his fingertips, ensuring that you permeated his sights and senses despite it. A game. A dance. When he thanks revelries who congratulate him, who ask him of his adventures, you proudly stand beside him, dutiful as the wife that you are, spearing him with compliments as much as you can. Hands squeezing his arm, your oils swallowing him with your smell.

When dinner came, you take chances massaging his thigh, sliding a salacious grin that had him blushing, ever so sweet, green— making you wonder what kind of fucking bastards do that he finds your attention so swallowing.

You don't let up.

Whenever he, in turn made a move, you sidestep, flutter a smirk, a wink; always escaping, letting him grow frustrated as the night went on.

Your one respite from taunting him had been when he danced with his daughters, making a gallant show of asking them, even Jaehaera. Giggles and spins, the ladies of the court fawn and coo.

Even now, you're making him to be the perfect man. The endearing husband, the wondrous father, the brilliant prince, the perfect lord.

To execute your plan, it must be made with a surgical precision. A slice that guts him to his knees, that breaks his spirit and quenches the whispering, wicked madness nestling with your ire. On another cheek, he must remain upright and upstanding, as to keep your daughters' future in perfect order.

You catch the domineering gaze of Daemon Targaryen, idle as he is, on the side of his distracted Queen, talking to a highborn lady. You don't look away as you toast him your cup of Arbour Red before you pucker your lips for a taste. Your eyes move to where your husband is already looking, flushed red and sweaty from all the dancing, your girls, preening and giggling around him.

You tilt your chin at him, a challenge in your gaze, before you slowly pull your lips away from your wine, stained red.

His throat bobs.

It will be a long, arduous game. Full of pitfalls and tightened webbing. One trip can kill you. But once the machinations are in order, once everything and everyone is in their proper places... oh, you cannot wait for the dance the dragons will make.

A flutter, a simpered footstep. Then a rustle of a dress as one bows.

"My lady," Dyanna greets behind you.

"Hm?"

"The spiders in the ice have met the pup in the snow."

"And?"

"The pup is not suspicious, in fact, they might go as far as to say that the pup is lonely. Though others largely understand her existence... no one likes a bastard."

You snort. "No, they don't, do they?"

"The wolf cares for the pup though, and is largely protective of his only sister."

"Hm. Complicated, but not impossible. Have Meera change the tone of my missive. A softer edge. Sweet but not overtly. Ensure the prerogative of politeness. Then have it sent to the Rookery. The proper channels."

You sigh, taking the edge of your braid and twisting through the ribbons your maid tangled between them. Tonight, you had elected Targaryen colours. A black dress akin to scales and a low, exposed back and dipping front, held together in red ribbons and silver chains. One that might be too on the nose, but the constant, feverish stares from your husband made it worth it.

"We have to ensure a good relationship with the Warden of the North, don't you think so?" You have not looked away from your husband since your maid came, and as he whispered something in Daenera's ear, nodding off to her grandmother with Aemma towed, he turned towards you, one stride after another.

"Precisely what I thought, milady."

"Go," you order her for the last time, giving her your cup, just before Jacaerys reaches you.

Game, set.

Worshipping you has always been something Jace excelled at. At the least, his cock was much larger than most, and without the preparation of his tongue and mouth, it burned. At most, he oft found himself holding your shaking thighs, your head and shoulders left on the bed as he feasted on you like a man starved, hungered for your nectar, the sounds you make, and the shaking of your body as you reached your peak on his tongue.

"J-Jace, please, I—" Your breath stutters, a hiccup escaping your mouth, but he is not letting up. On his knees as only a lordling can with his back straight, he is holding your thighs, your lower back, eating your cunny for the third time of the night.

As soon as he had reached you, he grasped your waist, whispering against your hair in a rumbled groan, "You are torturing me so, my wife. We leave. Now."

"Now?" you echoed, amused. "This is a feast in your honour."

"My honour is already hanging by a thread. The revelry will go on without us. I want to have my fill of you."

And fill he had. He didn't even wait to get you out of your dress before he had pushed your skirt upward, gone on his knees, and got his tongue inside of you.

Now, you are overwhelmed, overstimulated as you are hazy, gripping the wrecked sheets as your peak reached you once more. A strangled, breathy cry of his name falls between your lips as your back arched impossibly so, and instead of letting up, this seemed to fuel him harder, the muscle of his mouth working harder inside of your cunt, hands digging into your flesh to keep you steady.

It builds with a stimulation unending, and just as you're on the throes of your last high, it builds again, quick and fast this time, shuddering gasps of, "o-oh gods, g-gods, Jace!" is the last thing you are able to shout before your fourth peak breaks against the shudders of your last one, your wetness exploding, and you start crying before he lets up.

Your blubber becomes laughter, and he is soft as he lies you down, massaging your thighs as you twitched. He hovers above you, running gentle hands across your arms, kneading through skin, before he reaches your face. He's still in most of his clothes, his long white shirt and breeches, but his mouth is covered in your wetness before he wipes it, obscene in the prettiness of his face and messy locks from where you had tugged and grabbed.

He presses a gentle kiss to your cheek, so close to your body, all too tangled in your soul, and can feel his hard cock upright and wanting against your belly, but he pays it no mind. Concern mars his features as he brushes down your hair.

"Are you alright, my love? Too much?"

You shake your head, brushing your hand down his chest. "N-no, I am well. I just never did that before."

He smiles, kissing your closed eyelids before he brings you close to his chest, cuddling you deep. "You deserve all the pleasure I can give you," he says against your hair. "I have been gone far too long. Consider it my apology."

You hum, eyes open. "Apology for what? You were doing your duty, nothing more, ñuha zaldrīzes, my dragon." You feel him stiffen as you keep your voice soft, caring. "I understand duty far better than you. It is what I love most about you."

You look up, taking his chin between your fingertips as you stared at those warm, brown eyes. "You, who carries your honour like a shield and your duty like a sword. I feel as if the gods had blessed me a husband far better than I should have had for I know I do not deserve you."

"H-how can you say that? You are—" He swallows. "— You are the most excellent woman. The mother of my children. You... You are the one I do not deserve."

Your head falls back against his chest, gripping his shirt. Only by your teeth had you stop yourself from screaming.

You curdle, you keep, you poise.

"My love?"

But you pay him no mind, pushing him on his back as you straddle him, your hands working quick to unlace his breeches until his cock slaps against his stomach, end red and swollen. A sharp hiss falls from his lips as your hand tugs on it once. Twice.

He calls your name, spits it really, eyes blown with lust as he holds your waist, unsure if he should lift you off him or grind you against his aching cock.

"I want you inside me," you whimper, plead, feeling his cock twitch at your words, your false, yearning gaze. He mistakes the burned tears of anger in your eyes as unbridled want. "I have gone so long without your warmth, your cock, swelling inside me, your seed nestling deep, taking root—"

"Yes," he gasps, fingers digging into your doughy sides, pulling you up, moving you around whilst you grabbed his length and directed inside your wet, hot cunt inch by inch, filling you so thickly you can feel him in your throat. It takes time, patience and grit, but you're wet enough and you're determined. Once he's fully inside of you through a choked moan of your own, his neck arches, head thrown back. "Fuck! Yes, y-yes, there you are, my g-good fucking girl."

You move slow at first, taking him, bracing one hand on his knee, almost testing the feel him of back in the familiar contours of your cunt. Veins pop between each groan and choke that shudders through him whilst praise, your name, the possessive titles— my love, my wife, my princess — is spit in between.

When the heat tightens in your belly, you shift positions, placing both palms on his chest, and riding him without abandon, bouncing up and down as you watch with a sharp eye as his release builds. His hips move on their own, fucking up in you as you meet his thrusts with equal vigour, and it's delicious. It's heated. You grind your swollen folds against his mon and your cries make him thrust up harder into you, calling your name, denting your doughy hips.

You don't stop, your pleasure at the back of your mind, wanting him to unravel, to break— a final cry of your name dissolving into a choked moan, spilling his seed deep inside, the continuous snap of his hips digging it deeper into your womb.

But your last peak is still tightening, so you press a quick kiss on his chest, a bite really, before you continue to chase your own high, a hiss slipping his lips but moving your hips with his iron-grip, stutters of, "d-do it, reach your high, f-fuck! fuck!"— Your head throws back, nails digging his skin as your cunt clenches his cock in a vice grip, forcing his hips to snap up once more, twice, until you fall, slumping against him.

When he kisses the top of your head, murmuring words you ignore, you close your eyes.

Your plan is in motion. The missive will be sent to the Lord Stark, in pursuit of an innocent friendship. The spiders you have placed on the Northern bastard are set, and a dragon flies in Dragonstone with your bond in its blood.

Your Jace is home. He will fall in love with you all over again. His wonderful daughters and darling princess, he will regret the events that have transpired in the cold. In his head, he will make promises to do better, to be better, that whatever happened is a blip. A mistake that will not happen again. but you know, he will trip. He will wander once more.

But you will make sure that the next time he does so, he will regret it for the rest of his days.

Because it is not you who will burn Winterfell to the ground.

It will be him.

Your plan moves, your web is perfect.

Now, the spider waits for the idiot fucking flies to feed on.

TAGGED: @inkareds @marihoneywk @caterina-caterina @ahristata @xxvelvetxxxx @but-i-write-so-i-must-count @bunbunbl0gs @yazzzmints @bellstwd @hiraethrhapsody

#jacaerys velaryon #jacaerys velaryon fanfiction #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys velaryon x you #jacaerys velaryon x y/n #prince jacaerys #hotd jacaerys #dark!reader #jacaerys smut #jacaerys velaryon smut #jacaerys fanfic #jacaerys fanfiction #elle writes !! ꒱ ↷˗ˏˋ🍒#₊˚ପ⊹ hightower green 🕷

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cheesesoda · 1 month

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calling you out based on your favorite triplet!

it’s ya girl back at it again with the call out posts

cw: mentions of mental health issues, sexual trauma, and EDs

nick: if you’re a nick girl/boy/person, i get the feeling you’re the oldest. you sometimes tend to feel sorry for yourself and then you feel bad about feeling sorry for yourself and it becomes a vicious cycle. you probably have either dealt with body image issues or an eating disorder (idk every nick person i’ve met has dealt with that). you’re probably pretty insecure and you constantly compare yourself to all your friends and it’s tearing you apart. you have a hard time accepting compliments because you simply don’t believe them. i think there’s a lot you don’t talk about but then you blame others for your secrecy and feel bad for yourself, as if they just don’t understand. maybe try letting people in and let them have a shot at trying to understand you. you’re not an enigma.

songs you remind me of:

prom queen by beach bunny

not strong enough by boygenius

idontwannabeyouanymore by billie eilish

sippy cup by melanie martinez

orange juice by melanie martinez

tv by billie eilish

matt: if you’re a matt girl/boy/person, you’re probably the quietest one of the group. you possibly grew up without many friends and you often feel left out or unseen. you were the quiet kid and never really talked. you’re very nurturing and you try to take care of all your friends because you want them to know you see them. you’ve most likely dealt with mental health issues (specifically anxiety and/or depression). you tend to overthink a lot and you probably have a lot more to say than you actually say. you were probably the one who walked on the grass, the one who was the photographer but never in the photo, and the one who sat alone at lunch. as a kid, you went unnoticed but now you’re not. as a result, you end up purposely excluding yourself from your current friend group(s) because it’s what you’re used to and then you end up isolating yourself but you don’t realize that you’re doing it to yourself. i hope you’ll see that people do notice you and they do care about you. you’re not invisible.

songs that remind me of you:

the archer by taylor swift

chosen last by sara keys

letter to my 13 year old self by laufey

nobody by mitski

afraid by the neighbourhood

everything i wanted by billie eilish

chris: if you’re a chris girl/boy/person, i think you grew up too quickly. you probably had to start looking out for yourself at way too young of an age and now you have a hard time accepting nurturing and loving treatment. i get the feeling that you were sexualized from a young age too and you probably have some sexual trauma. as a result, you act hypersexual because it’s what you’ve been made to believe you’re supposed to be. people don’t take you seriously, probably because you are the funny one or the pretty one but you’re actually very observant and analytical. you notice things most people don’t. you’ve often been the butt of the joke in the friend group so now you make fun of everyone else before they can make fun of you. you might come off as mean but i think you’re just scared of being vulnerable. you definitely have commitment issues which probably stems from your childhood trauma (including but not limited to family issues). you end up getting yourself into dangerous or unhealthy or self destructive situations because it’s what you’re used to and you think it’s what people expect from you. you don’t have to follow your self fulfilled prophecy. you don’t have to be what others tell you that you are.

songs that remind me of you:

goddess by laufey

labyrinth by taylor swift

safeword by tv girl

don’t miss me by claire rosinkranz

brand new city by mitski

first love/late spring by mitski

#cheesesodaspeaks #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets

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thatbitchery · 3 months

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Unlearn the dumb idea that inflicted pain justifies your reaction to it. It doesn't. Ladies elite women make it because we have a level of stoicism that borders on sociopathic apathy, exhibit A: we don't react to triggers we mimosa, sleep, see if it's worth it then logically make decisions. The idea that when someone does you dirty you have the right to react based on emotions so you're angry mad throwing names & hands sending texts talking sheet & other loser girl things is dumb dumb. You're not justified to react. 'They did me wrong' . So? Sit down, watch Netflix, wait for the emotions to pass then use the head God so generously gave you + that pretty face bonus.

When you react to people doing you wrong you give them the permission to bypass their actions & focus on your reaction so if your bf cheats on you & you start screaming sending 1b texts making titktoks he can bypass his cheating & focus on you're immature you're abusive why did you hit me you're mentally unstable you throw things around bla bla & will never face what he did. When we say be non reactive we aren't asking you to be a stone we are asking you to be smart. Do you want to get manipulated? Abused? Sit down get a manicure & go for brunch. Run to your room scream cry anhiliate your pillow but when they're watching its Elsa Lite, froooozen ice queen don't let them in don't let them see, ever.

One tactic m3n use in divorce court is to get the lady so triggered she loses her cool then it's look at her could you live with that? I'm taking my child this is an abusive woman & men don't leave relationships they just trigger you into irrational behavior and use that as an excuse & crying is worse what did we say about public vulnerability? Go cry to your bestie and God in your house out here tears are a sign to bully you. When you're not reactive you throw THEM out of balance and you hold the cards, once you go 'right to my opinion I'm the victim' we'll find you a grave bc that's called social suicideeee.

Two friends. Real life story here, ladies. Ah high-school back in the good old days.

We call them Allie and Sara. High school circles were tight so you're friends with someone you're also friends with their bfs, right? Alice & Sara both got cheated on (by m3n looking like area 9 failed experiment Shrek cosplayers but that's not thepoint). The bfs know that they were discovered. Allie, Allie is that girl. Drama girl. Find him in cafeteria & make a scene girl. How could you cheat on me you suck your pp is short anyway bla bla watch me devalue myself. Allie feels good in the moment, her bf leaves and tell his friends of course i cheated that girl is crazy. Would you date someone like her? So immature. Women are so ovarical I can't handle it. Evening the story is- she was abusive. She hit him & threw words in public imagine in private? He's been protecting her in silence, you know women can be abusive too.

Sara, Sara my love. Sara sits next to her Shrek Lite boy and says hey so that girl you kissed, Jane was it? She's pretty. You have taste. End of story. After lunch her Human experiment failure boy says let's talk she says sure abd listens with 'mhm' and nods. She meant nothing babe she seduced me I'm an adolescent what can I do bla bla. She nods says okay and goes to class. Days goes as usual. Evening we get dinner , Weekend we do research for our papers & talk college. Is she talking to him? Yes. Painfully polite, painfully. No emojis no nothing just shallow dry polite texts. Let's talk about this babe- is left on blue ticks. Monday morning her factory reject lookalike is losing his mind, she's being painfully polite, in a shallow way, so he resorts to triggering. It's because you're like this you are like a man and I'm straight I need a woman bla bla. She says OK then turns to the next person & did you hear about the trip to the beach? Of course I'm going. Boy realizes that's not working & resorts to Allie behavior- throw a tantrum in public make yourself the victim why won't you give me the pleasure of being the one to push you to your edge? Sara says babe pull yourself together you're embarrassing your family. Do you need your anxiety meds? My therapist is good she can treat hysteria are you okay? No this isn't like you, this is hysteria babe do you need psychological help? No this isn't normal , hey do you guys think it's normal to do this? I'm calling your mom babe we are getting you a mental check hold up-

Heres a little secret. In private? In our dorms? Sara was BAWLING her eyes out. Chocolates & Styrofoam cups. We are talking 3am on the bathroom floor. In public?

Guess who won.

Unlearn the idea that you're entitled to reacting to others actions to you, you're not. Learn to hold your tongue and tears and smile and Elsa don't let then in don't let them see then call mom and spend the rest of the week in her arms crying. The amount of women I've seen triggered out of their jobs, marriages, houses, parenting &c when they were 10000% the victim from lack of emotional intelligence is unforgivable.

Dont, be dumb. Don't let yourself think you have the freedom of expression, you don't. Not in the way you want to. Go write a poem but remember everything you say can and will, in fact, be used against you.

Non reaction is the highest level of power in existence. Mind over body. Logic over emotion.

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singmyaubade · 6 months

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Forget-Me-Nots

James Potter x Female!Reader

A/N: Hi there! I haven't written in a while, but this idea just struck me, and because I've been struggling with writer's block, I really needed to write it. In a way, it's my salvation. This is the first series I am starting, but I will be finishing and starting others.

IB: The Other Zoey by Sara Zandieh. (This movie so good by the way).

Summary: James could never forget a love like yours.

Warning: It may contain swearing and soon-to-be smut.

There were three things that you couldn't stand.

One was really cold classrooms, which not only made you sleepy but also made it difficult to concentrate on your studies. As a result, you started carrying a jumper with you everywhere you went.

The second was being sick; you detested missing out on opportunities and activities due to circumstances beyond your control, as well as how awful it would feel and how little you could do about it.

Three was crying,

Since fifth year, the idea of crying had both repulsed you and made you dislike how vulnerable everything was, as well as when someone felt sorry for you.

Of course, others could cry in front of you and you would give them comfort but you didn't want people to see you in pain and you making it everyone else's problem.

It wasn't right in your book.

But those were the three things you absolutely despised. They were all simple things you could avoid if you truly tried and you had for years.

But if we wanted to add a bonus point,

You would add James Fleamont Potter.

Quite ironic to hate "The Golden Boy,"

It was one of the most funniest cliches that even you could think of.

The girl who basically had no friends or social standing versus the most popular guy in Hogwarts.

Sounds about right.

But the reason that you couldn't include this in the things you couldn't stand is because it was complex. It wasn't simple and it wasn't something that you could easily describe nor avoid.

You couldn't say that you weren't being immature but what James had done had completely indescribably affected you.

To be fair, it was in fifth year and you were now on your seventh year which means the hatred is pre-historic but when 'The James Potter' cheats on you with Jade Davies AKA the girl you despise that has bullied you since first year,

It gets pretty intense.

Since then, you had refused to talk to James and he let you have your space.

Unfortunately, it didn't mean that Jade would stop bullying you but it only meant that she had more material to bully you with but James did his best to help you avoid her by distracting her when you came by or kissing to distract her.

But you weren't thankful for his gestures, you wished nothing but a quaffle to be shoved up his ass in all honestly.

Then again, it was all so long ago and you wanted to let it go and just have fun for your last year.

Which is why you attended the first Quidditch game of the season.

You were practically freezing, hugging your cheeks with your palms. It was especially cold and you forget to bring another jumper to top over the one you had now.

There was loud cheering all around you as you heard a few chants for James as you saw him dive for the golden snitch.

At the same time, the quaffle came fast in the same direction, colliding with James's head.

He went into instant unconsciousness as he was about to dove straight in the ground.

The crowd went silent as James fell in the air but it felt like he was already moving in slow motion.

Your instincts kicked in as you stood and grabbed your wand from your boot "Arresto Momentum!" You yelled, pointing your wand at him as his movements slowed and he hit the grass floor lightly.

You gasped as everyone watched you, their mouthes agaped but a small part of you only cared if James was okay.

You heard people yelling and whispers asking if he was okay and parts about how you had saved him.

But it wasn't your problem.

You grabbed your bag, moving from the stands as you made your way to the castle. Your feet rushed over to your dorm, trying to make it there as fast as you can.

"Y/N!" You heard someone yell as you looked behind you to see Lily.

You looked ahead of you, trying to rush faster and then Lily said, "You saved him," She panted as a few seconds of silence went.

"It wasn't intentional," You responded, rolling your eyes.

"But you did it instantly," She replied, "You saved him," She looked at you as if she was trying to figure you out.

You stuttered, "Y-You said that and shouldn't you be with him?" You questioned, trying to keep your composure.

"You should come with me," Lily said.

"No, that's a bad idea," You declined, "Jade should already be with him," You cleared your throat, setting your book bag on your shoulder again.

"They aren't together," Lily mentioned, "He wants to see you,"

You raised your eyebrow in confusion, why would James want to see you?

"Lily I don't think-" You tried,

"You must!" Lily responded.

"But-" You tried again.

"You have to," Lily sternly said.

"If I do, will you leave me alone?" You asked, her face lighting up as she grabbed your arm dragging you into infirmary.

You both entered the infirmary, surrounded by hospital beds. You looked around at other sick students as Lily dragged you over to where James was laying.

Sirius, Peter, and Remus were around him, quietly talking as you approached him.

He had a harsh, purple bruise on his temple that was the size of your hand and a bandage wrapped around his head.

"James, I got her for you," Lily said as James groaned, blinking to take a good look at you, his eyes still squinting from the light and how much his head hurt.

"Baby," He sweetly said, a wide grin appearing on his lips as he squinted.

Baby.

He hadn't called you that in so long.

You flinched, trying not to show how taken aback you were in order to not freak him out but you were. You looked at the three boys in front of you but they were equally confused too.

"Potter, have you lost your-" You said as Lily elbowed you, earning a hiss from you.

"Play along," Lily mouthed, making you even more confused.

"But-" You were about to speak before Lily pushed you in front of James.

"Um, are you okay?" You asked, looking at him awkwardly.

"I'm amazing now that you are here," He said, smiling.

"Oh that's great!" You fake excitingly said.

"I missed you so much," James took your hand, rubbing it as your face was hit with surprise, "I heard you in my dreams," He dreamingly smiled.

"That's nice," You awkwardly laughed, "You should sleep, your head is probably pounding," You said, patting the back of his hand as he only caressed yours.

"Stay with me?" He asked, drifting into drowsiness.

You looked around at his friends as they urged you to say yes, "Sure," You sighed.

James's eyes closed as you laid his hand next to him on his bed. You watched at how pretty he looked sleeping, his eyelids fluttering but that was before you snapped into reality.

"What is going on?" You asked sternly, crossing your arms.

"Well," Sirius was about to start but Remus continued for him.

"James had called your name on the field after you performed that spell for him," He explained, making you blush, "And he wouldn't stop calling your name until the nurse gave him a drowsy potion,"

Your eyebrow raised, why was James Potter calling for you out of all people? You couldn't help but question the entire thing.

"And why was he calling my name?" You asked.

"We don't know," Lily answered.

"Well, I can't be with him when he wakes up," You said, looking off.

"You have to," Sirius answered, "Prongs can't be stressed out, it will only worsen his brain and he will end up like a pound of sausage," He said, confusing you.

"Great analogy but I really should be-" You started as you were interrupted.

"James!" Jade yelled dramatically, running over to him, "Oh will he make it?" Jade asked, fanning herself as the group rolled their eyes.

"He will be fine," Remus said.

"But I think seeing you will make it worse," Sirius added with a smile.

Jade scowled at him before looking at you, "What is she doing here?" She furiously said.

You were about to speak before Lily did it for you, "He called for her,"

"No he didn't," Jade laughed, dismissing the ridiculous thought.

"But he did," Peter said as Jade has a disgusted look on her face.

"Well I'm his girlfriend so I'm sure he will want to see me," Jade boasted as if she only cared about the label and not the fact that James had truly gotten hurt.

"You guys have been broken up for six months," Sirius scoffed.

"I would prefer on a break," Jade corrected, glaring at Sirius.

"Okay well, this has nothing to do with me," You said, trying to move past Jade but she blocked you.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jade asked.

"Moving out of the way so that you can coddle James and kiss his boo boo's away," You mocked.

"Honestly, I keep forgetting that James chose me over you, it's actually quite hilarious," Jade smirked as you rolled your eyes.

"Congrats on being easy, it's one of your best accomplishments," You insulted, trying to move past her but failing once again.

"Nice of you to assume that James was only with me because I'm "easy," She gaped, causing you to step back.

"Seriously bugger off Jade," Sirius defended.

Jade kept going, "Or are you sure it's not because I'm better than you in everything I do and that James couldn't stand to be with you for another second with your daddy issues and a failure at everything," She aggrieved.

Your eyes watered as Madam Pomfrey came in, "Oh Mr. Potter must have a lot of admirers," She joked as you only smiled in return, "Which one of you is the famous Y/N?" She asked, looking between you, Jade, and Lily.

You spoke, "I am,"

She smiled at you, "He had been calling you for ages, what a beautiful girlfriend he's got,"

"I'm actually not his-" You started but the nurse kept going.

"Mr. Potter will be fine but a few things are jumbled in there" She said, checking his vitals, "It's best if he isn't stressed out or confused because it could only make matters worse," She finished, looking at all of you.

You all nodded in reply, "Other than that, he is good to go tomorrow morning but he can only have two visitors tonight," She mentioned, exiting.

"Y/N, you should stay with him," Peter said shyly.

"I don't think-" You started before you were interrupted.

You were getting tired of being interrupted.

"No, James would wanna see me," Jade almost yelled.

"You will only give James more brain damage, Y/N stays," Lily spat, clearly annoyed by Jade.

Jade huffed, "I will be back in the morning," She stomped away.

"We'll leave you to it," Remus said as Sirius smirked, leaving with the group as Lily squeezed your shoulder before exiting too.

You sat on the chair next to James's bed, wondering how you got in this situation in the first place.

And then you wondered how you would get out of it.

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scekrex · 2 months

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Okay, okay, okay, ANOTHA ONE. Winner!reader who got lost in Heaven on his first, because Adam forgot that he was supposed to give him a tour and simply kept walking while Reader got distracted and went after something shiny that he thought would look nice on Adam. Now cue in Brandon Rogers skit with a "mother" looking for her son Timmy. Just Adam running around and screaming "Y/N!!!!" and asking around, cause he's totally shitting himself. He lost a soul IN HEAVEN of all places. After some time he sits down on a bench in a park or something, completely exhausted and distressed, when suddenly the reader appears behind him, placing a shiny little tiara between his mask horns saying: "✨👸🌺You're a fucking pretty princess!🌺👸✨" while holding ice cream in the other hand and Adam just looks at him like:

You can end it however you want, cause honestly you're gonna nail it either way 💁🏻‍♂️

Babes, I fucking love you for that request. I feel like I'll write so many crack fics for Adam n Reader just bc of you and I'm fucking ready for it

Lost and Found

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, this is a crack fic (kinda)

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

When you had first appeared in Sera's office you had been confused and overwhelmed, the little girl, her name was Emily, was full of energy that you weren't able to deal with at that point. She had been all in your face and while you were aware that it was all good intentions, it made you feel like stumbling right into a panic attack.

So Sera had made a call with some guy named Adam, she hadn't explained who he was and why she called him and not someone else but once Adam had arrived at Sara's office, you understood. The guy was a lot more chill than Emily, sure he could talk a lot - that was the first thing he had proven once he had entered the office - but he wasn't draining you by doing so. He wasn't all up in your face either and you appreciated that a lot.

So once you two had introduced yourself to each other, the two of you took off.

The streets weren't as full and crowded as you had expected them to be. Heaven was painted in bright colors, pastel blue, white and gold were the most common colors you came across. Adam was currently rambling about some chick that he had fucked a couple weeks ago at one of his gigs, you weren't really paying attention though, you were too focused on all the shiny lights that surrounded you.

So your attention was on many things, on everything but Adam, the person you probably should've focused the most on considering that you had no clue where exactly in heaven you two were. And when the two of you walked past a jewelry store you couldn't help but walk right through the door. In your mind you thought Adam would notice and follow you - or wait outside the store.

Well, Adam didn't even notice you were gone at first, he was too caught up in his storytelling. So he continued to walk through the streets of heaven for a good twenty minutes without you. That was until the man stopped to look at you - or at least that was why he turned around. But you weren't there.

Fuck.

For how long had he been walking alone? Where were you and why weren't you following him anymore? A wave of panic hit him. What if Sera would find you all alone without him in sight? He'd be in so much trouble if that were to happen.

So he walked in the direction he came from, checking every back alley he had walked past but he couldn't find you. “Y/N?” he called out for you as he entered yet another back alley, hoping he'd get a response. He tried to remain as calm as possible, that wasn't easy considering that he had just lost a fucking soul in heaven. Oh he was so fucked if he weren't to find you by sunset. He was so fucked if Sera were to find out.

Another wave of panic shot through his body as he rushed out of the alley. He grabbed an angel who just went about his day by his shoulders, shook him slightly as his voice filled with panic got louder and louder, “Have you seen my-” Adam stopped for a moment. His what? You weren't his. Ah, fuck this, “Have you seen the dude I'm supposed to watch? He's about this tall,” he raised his hand to show the angel - who was slightly frightened by Adam's behavior - how tall you were, “clearly gay and has a thing for me, but we haven't had the talk yet.” The second the angel started to shake his head Adam was gone, calling out your name over and over again.

“You fucking little shithead, get your sexy ass over here,” Adam yelled, earning himself a few strange looks from bypassing angels, he couldn't care less though. A panicking expression was visible on his mask as he continued to walk all the way back to where you and him had come from. He opened a door to one of the countless stores you two had passed, “Y/N are you in there? You better get the fuck out if you are!” The customers inside the store looked at Adam in confusion and disgust for yelling so loud. He slammed the door shut and crossed the street to enter a park, maybe you had seen some kind of animal or whatever bullshit it was a soul like you were interested in.

“C’mon you little bitch, I'll let you fucking do drugs if you move your ass over here right now,” that was a total lie, obviously it was, but Adam was trying to get you back and he really had no idea how to do it properly.

Another angel walked up to him, she seemed slightly worried about the situation that was playing out, “Have you tried retracing the steps?” Adam shoved her out of the way, “Fuck, you think I'm stupid? Of course I have!” The lady who just had wanted to help flinched away from the first man and was quick to take off once his attention had shifted away from her.

He rushed through the entire park, even looked at the entire thing from above in hope he would be able to spot you, but nothing. Once his feet were back on the ground he broke down on a park bench, his hands were covering the LED face that was displayed on his mask and he was done with it, there was no way he'd find you before sunset - which was when Sera was expecting the both of you to return.

He was completely fucked, there was no way he'd be able to explain to Sera what had happened. And even worse: what if you got hurt? Shit, he didn't even know why he cared about that, you were just some random soul he had met a couple hours ago but yet there he was, worrying about your fucking ass.

Adam flinched when he heard the sound of metal clicking against his mask and turned his head around. There you were. A soft smile was curled around your lips and you held a cone of ice cream in your hand as if nothing had happened, “Y’know,” you started to speak up and pointed to the thing that was resting on top of his mask now, “For someone who talks about ‘fucking bitches’ a lot you're a fucking pretty princess.”

Adam reached for the object you had placed on his head and looked at it closely. It was a fucking golden tiara. It had tiny purple gemstones attached to it and it surprisingly fit his aesthetic pretty well. He stared at the shiny accessory for a moment before he put it down on the bench, got up and lifted you over the bench he had been sitting on. Before you knew it your ice cream cone landed on the ground and Adam pulled you into a bone crushing hug, your feet still dangling in the air, you simply decided to wrap them around his waist. The taller man didn't seem to mind it all that much.

“Don’t you fucking dare to ever run off again you little shithead,” he whispered as he held you, the face of his mask was pressed flush against your neck. “And I thought I was the one having a thing for you when clearly it's not one sided,” you teased the first man, your hand playfully grabbing his horns and pulling him away from your neck to look at him. “You heard that?” he asked in a mix of anger and embarrassment. “Yeah,” you shrugged, “Next time when you're looking out for me, do better.” Adam couldn't help but simply stare at you in pure disbelief. There was simply no fucking way he had missed you. “Also,” you looked down on the ground where your ice cream cone was melting, “You owe me ice cream, idiot.”

“I swear I'll fucking get you a shirt that says 'If lost, return to Adam' or some shit in case that ever happens again,” Adam mumbled and even though he sounded slightly annoyed, he seemed pretty happy you were back. “Oh, it will happen again, trust me,” you simply grinned.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x reader #adam x you #adam x y/n

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wowevenmoreloveonearth · 3 months

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You know what? I have become a gaylor sympathiser

This is going to be a long post, sorry! Please read the full post before even thinking about commenting.

Over the past few days I’ve seen a few posts on my dash about taylor swift and her fans that have left a bad taste in my mouth.

I know that a lot of people think that some fans of her are “trying to make her gay” and I just wanted to put the record straight and defend some people after actually looking at what’s going on. And I know I’m probably opening myself up for tumblr’s poor reading comprehension but before I start I’m going to say this:

I do not think taylor swift is a lesbian

Ok? Now let’s have a conversation.

First of all from what I’ve seen most of the fans who talk about Taylor swift and queerness do it from a point of literary analysis and learning queer history. This is a huge part of the community and lots of people have said that they never would have learnt so much about queer history without reading taylor swift’s works through a queer lens.

Adding on to that point, it seems a little hypocritical for the gay site which loves queer readings of books, tv shows, songs, musicals, films etc to be bullying a pretty small group of people who are mainly doing queer readings of lyrics. Especially when those people get near constant death threats. Instead of bullying these people (who don’t think or do what you think they think and do) why don’t you go outside and think “does this affect me? No. Do I agree with them? No. Am I going to cyber bully them because of this? No.”

Secondly, for the people who believe that any speculation on a real persons sexuality is 100% wrong. I used to think this too but I have changed my mind a bit about this recently after stopping and thinking about it properly. I’m not trying to change your mind at all I just want you to stop and think for a minute.

If you only get mad when speculation is queer in nature, then maybe think about that for a minute. Why is it totally wrong to think a person might be queer. We probably do it in our daily lives with people we know and they likely do it with us, back in the day that’s how queer people found each other-by speculating on sexuality. Would you be upset if you found out someone that you know thought you might be queer? I wouldn’t, maybe you would but if you would, why? Why is it terrible to think someone might be queer (this is NOT about hounding a person to admit to being queer like shawn mendes, this is just thinking in your head and on your small blog that the person will likely never see). Also this is literally the website where we talk about historical (real people) being gay even when they would have never said something to the equivalent.

An addition to this point before people start saying in the comments is that this is NOT the same situation as with kit connor. The issue there was people assuming that he was straight and taking that role away from a queer person. Speculating that he was queer was the opposite of what happened in that situation. So this is not an example of what happens when you speculate queerness.

Final things to say:

1) don’t believe every post you see with someone looking insane about taylor swift being gay, a lot of them are fake.

2) before anyone says “they should listen to real queer artists instead” most of them very much do. There’s a lot of fans of Hayley kiyoko, girl in red, Janelle monae, tegan and sara, zolita, kehlani etc.

3) there are some queer flags that are there. Sorry but there are. Hairpin drops, lavender, the ladder, flag colours, songs about women, friend of dorothy reference. Whether they are intentional is a different matter.

4) shipping real people is not what is happening for the majority of the people in the community. Also this comes back to queer vs straight again. Plenty of swifties ship taylor with men she’s been seen with and no one goes into their inboxes and sends death threats even when they are the ones making taylor swift all about the men she may or may not have dated.

5) taylor swift has never stated her sexuality. I know this may be hard to belive based off of how some people act, but it’s true. She has made vague statements which could have many meanings but she has never clearly stated anything. When gaylors get upset with taylor it is not because she said she is straight, it’s because they are getting death threats and doxxed and she seems to either be unaware of it (which is unlikely given how she seems to be a little terminally online) or she doesn’t care enough to tell her fans to stop.

6) if she does explicitly say she’s straight then there will probably be disappointment in her use of queer history and flags and her potential queer erasure (as we saw with lavender haze, with straight women describing their relationships as lavender) and centring herself in queer spaces (like the you need to calm down music video) but no one will be angry that she’s not gay. And a lot will probably be grateful that she actually explicitly stated for the record to absolve any confusion. The main issue would likely be other fans ramping up the death threats and bullying.

In conclusion: these people who do queer analysis of Taylor’s work are not trying to out her or make her gay etc. if you don’t understand it that’s fine it’s clearly not for you and you can go quite easily without seeing any of it. It’s not illegal to read works through a queer lens and if it means more people know about queer history then I think that’s a very good thing.

I changed my mind after looking at what a lot of people are actually saying rather than what people perceive them to be saying and maybe you will too?

Just be kinder to people online please and if you don’t like what people are saying block them and do not engage!

#taylor swift #long post #gaylor #gaylor swift #friend of dorothea #friends of dorothea #lgbtqia

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lilirari · 4 months

Text

🧋 everyone thinks pedri should stop pining for you because you 'don't give a f*ck' about him but they don't know what your actual relationship with the footballer is.

💌 pedri gonzález x fem! joao felix's bff! reader (social media au)

🌟 cw : pedri being a total simp, cheesy pick-up lines, translated spanish & portuguese sentences, timelines don't matter

💭 author's note : this is for my beloved pookie @leclercloml ! ilysm <3 idk if the ending parts make sense but please just bear with it 😞

instagram 🎥

yourinstagram

📍 new york city, usa

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, jennaortega and 13,193,299 others

yourinstagram the wind was a paid actor

view all 17,929 comments

pedri 😍😍😍

pedri eres la chica más hermosa que he visto en mi vida.

pedri i ought to complain to spotify for you not being named this week's hottest single

-> spotify complaint received 😉

-> user59 oh spotify's definitely on the pedri x y/n agenda

pedri do you happen to have a band-aid ? i just scrapped my knees falling for you

-> yourinstagram deserved fall down again

-> user80 HELPDHSHDHSHDH WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS

-> user44 poor pedri but this is kind of funny 😭

jennaortega my favourite girl (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)

mikkykiemeney 🫶🫶🫶

saraguendogan gorgeous !!!

user45 the way two of the most popular barça wags are in her comments.. joão really must've introduced her to everyone in barça by now 😭

joaofelix79 minha linda melhor amiga 🥰

-> yourinstagram te amo joao 🫶

user33 babe wake up pedrizz gonzález is in the comments of y/n's post again

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yourinstagram

📍 ibiza

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, ferrantorres and 15,364,748 others

yourinstagram i love pink <3

view all 20,273 comments

pedri and i love you 🥰😘

-> yourinstagram ew

pedri ¿dónde has estado toda mi vida? 😍

pedri if beauty was a crime, you would've been sentenced for life in prison

-> user11 omg this is actually so good y/n please accept his love 😞

emmamyers 🩷🩷🩷

ferrantorres ❤️

liked by yourinstagram

joaofelix79 my prettiest girl 🫶

-> yourinstagram joao best boy !!!

user34 pedri should just stop trying to win y/n's heart man she clearly has no interest in him he's just wasting his time..

user50 i want a friendship like y/n and joão's 🥹

user96 is something going on between y/n and ferran ?? 🤔

user23 wait i'm a new barça fan and i came from x after seeing a post about pedri commenting on this girl's post.. who is she exactly ?

-> user22 she's y/n l/n, an upcoming model and also the bff of joão félix ! ^^

-> user23 ooh she's so pretty i get why pedri wants her lol

user82 huh ?? wasn't y/n in new york like literally yesterday ? how is she already in ibiza 😭

-> user25 queen's working so hard fr 😞

user75 pedrito i know you'll get the girl of your dreams someday i'm rooting for you !!!

liked by pedri

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yourinstagram

📍 lisbon, portugal

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, frenkiedejong and 20,182,838 others

tagged mikkykiemeney, saraguendogan, annalewandowska, taia_belloli, joaofelix79

yourinstagram on a trip with my girls (there's an imposter among us)

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pedri quisiera ser joyero para poder apreciar un diamante como tú todos los días 🤍

-> yourinstagram bro please stop before i block you 🧍‍♀️

-> user77 pedri i think you should listen to her y/n can be absolutely ruthless 😭

pedri ok but why did joão get invited and i didn't ?

-> yourinstagram bc you're not one of the girls ???

-> pedri and joão is ??

-> yourinstagram yeah !!! ☺️

-> joaofelix79 i was forced to tag along against my own will, hermano 😞

mikkykiemeney had so much fun with you, love ! 🫶

annalewandowska thanks for inviting me, angel ❤️

joaofelix79 who's the best tour guide & chauffeur ??

-> yourinstagram you are !! 🥰🥰 thanks for making this trip fun and memorable, amor 🫶

-> joaofelix79 yeah yeah i accept thanks only in cash and credit

saraguendogan 💋💋

taia_belloli mi novia 🥰

user23 AHHH Y/N WITH THE BARÇA WAGS

user81 OMG THOSE POOL PICTURES OF Y/N AND SARA ARE SO PRETTY

user43 wait does this mean y/n is a barça wag ?

-> user19 i don't think so but i also won't be surprised if she's dating one of the guys

-> user01 nah, i think she just got really close with the wags because of félix

user99 MOTHER IS MOTHERING !!!

user45 MY WIVES 💅

user55 can pedri please just give up on pursuing y/n.. she's CLEARLY not interested in you bro

-> pedri 🙉

-> user39 shut up man he clearly doesn't give a fuck about what people like you are saying

user26 no bc are we sure joão and y/n are not dating ?

-> user34 yep pretty sure

-> user84 they sure are sus for two best friends who call each other 'amor' and say 'ily' to e/o all the time

-> user07 i'm sure it's just in a platonic way, man

-> user02 what ? can't two people of the opposite gender say ily and still be only friends ? this is just a healthy friendship bro

user43 y/n please notice pedri and treat him properly challenge 😞🙏

user46 AHHH i hope joão showed them all the best places in lisbon ❤️🇵🇹

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yourinstagram

📍 paris, france

🎼 my love mine all mine : mitski

liked by joaofelix79, oliviarodrigo, gigihadid and 33,127,289 others

yourinstagram bts for the photoshoot of a new magazine cover for vogue ! oh, and i got some flowers today ;) 💐

view all 42,569 comments

joaofelix79 nice flowers

joaofelix79 who's that man though 👀

-> yourinstagram idk you tell me 🫣

jennaortega already omw to pre-order 1000 copies of the magazine

-> yourinstagram please i love you 😭🫶

gigihadid perfection 🫶

-> yourinstagram love u gigi

heidiklum 🤍🖤

konichan7 🥰

adrianalima xoxo 💋

_ferminlopez 🤭

-> user77 ariana what are you doing here

user34 some of the biggest names in the modelling industry are here in the comments... y/n really has come so far i'm so proud of you girl 🥹

user27 here for y/n's famous era !!!

user97 our prettiest princess !!! we love you y/n 💌

user36 SIS IS THAT A MAN I SEE BEHIND YOU 😧

user05 don't be shy y/n show us a picture of the man in the second slide

user72 the song... the picture... the flowers... HAVE WE LOST Y/N TO A MAN ???

user55 um guys where's pedri ?

-> user78 EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING

-> user40 WHERE'S OUR GOLDEN BOY AND HIS SHITTY PICK-UP LINES

user95 pedri's @ is not there in the likes...

user33 no cringey pick-up line comments from pedri and he's not in the likes either.. what's happening..

user67 i'm guessing that man must be her bf ??

user15 well ig at least we all know that the man with her is not pedri since he's nowhere to be found 🤷‍♀️

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yourinstagram

📍 barcelona, spain

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, louispartridge_ and 40,932,389 others

yourinstagram hi barcelona

view all 45,693 comments

joaofelix79 what are you doing here

-> yourinstagram came to visit you bestie 🥰🥰🥰 i missed you sooooo much

-> joaofelix79 what a liar 🙄

oliviarodrigo love u girlie

alejandrobalde 🤍

liked by yourinstagram

taia_belloli you are glowing, sis !!!

jennierubyjane pretty in white ♡

alexiaputellas 💓💘

user13 my sunshine !!! 💛☀️

user04 what's balde doing here 😧

user82 BALDE ??? HELLO ????

user75 pedri in the likes but still no comment...

user16 what is happening with y/n and the barça boys

user30 damn i kinda miss pedri's comments 😭

user27 has pedri finally stopped trying to rizz y/n up ??

-> user08 i hope so.. he doesn't deserve her she seems so annoying

-> user89 how exactly is she annoying ??

-> user08 she's always dismissing/ignoring his comments and being mean to him what a bitch

-> user89 i don't think she's actually being mean though.. and if he isn't bothered by the way she acts then why are you ?

-> user75 please stop calling y/n names and trying to make her a villain she's an absolute angel

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, jennaortega and others

user66 the way we see different barça players comment on her post everyday 🧍‍♀️ guess today's man of the day is balde

user05 THAT DRESS IS GORG SIS

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yourinstagram 10 minutes ago | pedri 2 minutes ago

seen by joaofelix79, pablogavi, frenkiedejong and 17,929,199 others

y/n's dms 🏷️

☆ joaofelix79 replied to your story !

husband ??? 😰😱

yourinstagram

yuh

☆ user56 replied to your story !

HUSBAND ???? QUEEN WHO ???

☆ user69 replied to your story !

please tell me that's just a beyonce reference and you don't actually have a husband.. 🥹

twitter 🫖

imessage 💬

mi esposa 💌

i think it's time

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

wait really ? are you sure about this ?

mi esposa 💌

yeah 100% sure i'm ready

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

alright then

mi esposa 💌

it's been a good run, hasn't it ?

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

it sure has...

3 years ain't that bad

mi esposa 💌

frfr !!

we're a bit too good at this 🤭

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

i second that

mi esposa 💌

i'll drop a head's up now

see you on the other side 🫡

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

let's go give the world a shock, mi amor 🫶

twitter 🫖

instagram 🎥

yourinstagram

📍 tenerife, canary islands

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, jennaortega and 50,199,143 others

tagged pedri

yourinstagram i'm guessing this wasn't the type of news y'all were expecting, huh ? jokes on all of you bc pedrito and i have actually been together for three years now. we were just a bit too good at hiding our relationship 🤭 anyways happy three years together, mi amor, and also happy 6 months of our marriage ! te amare por siempre, my golden boy 🤍

view all 60,000 comments

pedri my gorgeous girl

pedri te amo, mi vida 🫶

liked by yourinstagram

pedri te voy a denunciar a la policía por robarme el corazón

-> yourinstagram oh no ! i can't be behind bars now — i've got my whole life ahead of me ! 😰

joaofelix79 ahh finally !!! keeping your relationship a secret was probably the hardest thing i ever had to do in my entire life

-> yourinstagram you're the absolute best joão thank you 🫶

-> joaofelix79 as i've said before, i accept thanks in only cash and credit

-> yourinstagram sending you some money rn

-> joaofelix79 😁😁😁

jennaortega my favourite couple !!!

-> yourinstagram my maid of honour 🥹🫶

pablogavi ❤️

gigihadid still in awe over this look of yours you really are the prettiest bride

mikkykiemeney 😍😍😍

annalewandowska my babies 🥹🥹

fcbarcelona the best couple 🫶

ferrantorres ❤‍🔥

user81 .... girl what

user90 WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUVK

user12 three years... THREE YEARS ?????

user04 not only have you been together for three years but URE FRICKING MARRIED ????

user24 HOW TF DID NO ONE KNOW ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP

user46 HUHHHHHHHHHHH 😧😧😧😧😧😧

user57 we are all fvcking clowns

user68 another day of blaugrana being an entire circus

user38 THREE YEARS ???? but félix joined barça only this year.. huh how did you guys meet i'm confused

-> yourinstagram pedri and i have actually known each other for a long time now 😭 most of you may just know me as joão's bff but only some people know that i'm friends with pedri's brother hehe so we got to know each other through fernando :)

user72 HOW DID YOU GUYS HID YOUR RELATIONSHIP FROM US FOR THREE HECKING YEARS ? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE ?????

user01 HOW DID THE MEDIA AND PAPARAZZI NOT CATCH YOU WHAT

user07 goodness idek how to react to this

user29 wait so you were just pretending to hate pedri in your previous posts... but why ?

-> yourinstagram oh it was just a bet we made when joão joined barça this year. most of you knew me only when joão joined barça and pedri and i had already been working on our marriage plans by then. we've hid the facts about our relationship for three years now but marriage is a huge thing and there was no way we could hide our wedding for years so we just wanted to see how long it would take for the paparazzi to catch up on the news lol. to help hide our marriage a little longer, we just pulled an unrequited love act on my instagram posts and i pretended to ignore him irl too for fun 🤭

-> user57 this is absolutely insane... you guys are geniuses

-> user80 OKAY BUT WHO WON THE BET THOUGH ???

-> yourinstagram technically no one since we both thought the news wouldn't get out until next year but we're spending our honeymoon in barcelona rn and we just got a bit too bold in public and sadly got caught 😞

yourinstagram ok correction you guys we never really hid our rs tbh i guess you guys just never knew me or like paid much attention to things so it just got really easy to date him without having to deal with the media 🤷‍♀️

-> user03 now that i think about it... i feel like you've appeared in a few of the gonzález family photos, y/n 🤔

-> yourinstagram yes i have ! but if i remember correctly, most people just thought i was fernando's gf or sumn 😭

-> user99 omg we were so fucking blind 🧍‍♀️

-> user67 well we just never expected pedri to have enough rizz to pull a beauty queen like you ig

-> pedri HEY

-> yourinstagram LMAO FOULLLLLL

user44 i love how y/n just spilled the whole tea to us 🥹 she's so iconic

user12 GOD I LOVE Y/N SO MUCH FOR THIS LITTLE STORYTIME UNDER THE COMMENTS

user06 THEY'RE SO FUCKING ADORABLE I LOVE YNPEDRI

user55 SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING DRESS 🤍

user21 what is with joão and money though LMAO

-> joaofelix79 if barça doesn't have enough money to buy me, then i'll provide them the money instead

-> user02 I'M IN TEARS THIS IS SO ICONIC OF YOU JOÃO

-> user74 LMFAO WHAT A LEGEND

user23 PEDRI IN THAT FOURTH SLIDE DAYUMMMM

user16 i hate you both so much for lying to us for so long but also congratulations on getting married !!! 🥹

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pedri

liked by yourinstagram, pablogavi, _rl9 and 69,239,839 others

tagged yourinstagram

pedri feliz aniversario, mi vida 🤍

comments on this post have been limited

twitter 🫖

♡ translations of pedri's pick-up lines !

“eres la chica más hermosa que he visto en mi vida.”

: you are the most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my life.

“¿dónde has estado toda mi vida?”

: where have you been all my life ?

“quisiera ser joyero para poder apreciar un diamante como tú todos los días.”

: i would like to be a jeweler so i can appreciate a diamond like you every day.

“te voy a denunciar a la policía por robarme el corazón.”

: i will report you to the police for stealing my heart.

391 notes · View notes

xoxomireya · 2 months

Text

🛍️﹒➜﹒how to rebrand yourself as a cher horowitz inspired it girl﹐⇄

As if!

Why should you settle for less than you deserve, especially with MEN? Keep your standards high and eventually you’ll find the right one. "Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Polly Shore movie"

Everything is a jumping off point for negotiations.

Learn about psychology and improve your persuasion skills. You definitely don’t have to be manipulative, but if you can talk your way out or in of something, do it! Never accept the first offer.

Gotta get those steel glutes!

Try aerobics! It’s a fun way to do exercise and get that pump of dopamine. Remember, don’t just work out to get your dream body, do it for your happiness, wellbeing and health.

Sporadically means once in a while.

Broaden your knowledge and vocabulary by adding a weekly non-school book into your routine. Try to use the words and things that you learn once in a while.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you have to put yourself above anyone.

Cher always goes out of her way to help people, and that is part of her appeal. She treats everyone with the same level of respect and tries her best to help others.

Your hair is your crown.

Invest in actual great hair products that give life to your hair. Look for what’s best suited for your type of hair, not if they’re expensive or trendy.

You don’t understand, this is an Alaïa!

Quality > Quantity. Buy clothes that are timeless and make sure you’re not being affected by trends. Invest in some basics and see if you can style that piece of clothing multiple ways before you buy it.

Compromise to help the planet.

Just like Cher decided to involve herself in disaster relief charity, search for things that you can do to help that are within your reach.

Shoot that arrow, Cupid!

Everyone deserves the chance to experience being in love, so why not help them by playing matchmaker? I promise it’s gonna feel rewarding in the end!

Learn how to excel at conversational skills.

Knowing how to deal with people it’s one of the most important skills a person can have. Cher also knows how introduce a subject and prove a point, so why shouldn’t you?

SHOWS THAT CHER WOULD WATCH !

Sex and the City

Gossip Girl

Scream Queens

The Carrie Diaries

One Tree Hill

BOOKS THAT CHER WOULD READ !

Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shephard

Emma by Jane Austen

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares

The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisenbergen

MOVIES THAT CHER WOULD WATCH !

The Princess Diaries

Mean Girls

Grease

Bring It On

Sixteen Candles

PERFUMES THAT CHER WOULD USE !

Sweet like Candy (Ariana Grande)

Pink Sugar (Aquolina)

Mon Paris (YSL)

Burberry Her (Burberry)

Sweet Tooth (Sabrina Carpenter)

BRANDS THAT CHER WOULD SHOP !

House of CB

Moschino

Blumarine

Miu Miu

Givenchy

THINGS THAT CAN MAKE U FEEL MORE ALIGNED TO CHER:

Drink a glass of orange juice every morning, you need your dosis of vitamin C !

Download a virtual closet app to plan matching outfits every morning.

Search for cute plans (and parties) to do with your Dionne.

Join a debate club.

Keep in touch with your childish side. You can do this by watching the cartoons you watched as a child like Cher!

#it girl #cher horowitz #self care #self love #self improvement #girly #clueless #90s #90s aesthetic #90s fashion #that girl #divine feminine #new year new me #new year new you #self healing #healing era

136 notes · View notes

makelemonade · 1 year

Text

He loves me, he loves me not.

🦋Relations: Ayato and Alhaitham x F!Reader (separate ofc) ASSUMED Ayato x Sara and Alhaitham x Dehya

🦋Summary: Your lover has been neglecting you a full month; hardly even coming home and always working. You start to overhear about his recent involvement with another girl and you can’t help but wonder, does he still love you?

‼️Warnings: She/her pronouns used (only like 5 times in total, endearments of pretty girl, baby and my love are used, insecurities are mentioned a lot, along with body insecurity (body dysmorphia?), thoughts of cheating, mention of a dick once (don’t think anyone cares cuz it’s daddy Alhaitham, ANGST- should be obvious, THERE IS COMFORT THOUGH! LOTS OF IT! bestie Diluc is mentioned along with Tighnari, jealousy, lots of crying, not proofread, can’t think of anything else

🦋Author Note: Alhaitham’s is a lot longer than Ayato’s I think we can tell who the favourite is. I’ll write Cyno and Tighnari next then link it here!

support me on kofi and read my other fics! all on pinned post !!!! (guys if u love Alhaitham go check out my wattpad I got a new Alhaitham x reader fic 😻)

Ayato

Sometimes, you felt like this marriage was a mistake.

Not felt actually, knew. It was an arranged marriage after all. The two of you had gotten to know each other just before the marriage, and you both did indeed have feelings for each other and even ended up falling in love during the arrangement.

So, in your mind, it was a real marriage. Perhaps to his it was just an arranged one.

You spent your days in bed alone, a cold spot beside you always. Even when you woke up, he was never there.

Your parents weren’t as rich as the Kamisatos or popular, but due to the fact the Kojou clan denied the arrangement since Sara wasn’t ready for marriage. Your clan was second choice.

Maybe you were second choice in his life too.

You never felt good enough for him, barely ever speaking on how he was hardly here because you felt like you were in no position to speak up about it. He worked so hard for his family, and his clan represented so much in Inazuma it was a lot of work. Meanwhile your parents did most the work, but your clan was hardly known. It just proved how much better he was than you.

Even after a year of your….marriage, you still felt the same. During the first few months you were both so close, spending nights giggling as he’d cuddle you while slightly tickling you just to piss you off. You don’t even see him anymore.

You started hearing workers around the estate talk about him and Kojou Sara. She was originally the first choice, and you felt like maybe he was going back to her.

“They’re so much better together!”

“Never really thought him and Y/N’s clan were a good go.”

“She’s not a good choice for Ayato at all. I hope he finally comes to his senses and chooses Sara.”

“I heard they’ve been together a lot this past month, so he must be going back to her!”

She was always the first choice.

When you heard the conversation between the workers, you ran into the hall leading to your room.

“Y/N?” Ayaka realized, worry laced in her tone as you bumped into her, tears streaming down your face.

“Apologies.” You murmured, not even sparing her a look as you continued down the hall to your room, quickly closed the door so she couldn’t come and ask questions.

You walked over to your desk, tears falling onto the hard wood of the desk as you grabbed a paper, finding a pen hurriedly.

When Thoma had taken you to his homeland once, you met a very nice man who you considered had very amazing advice. His name was Diluc, and ever since you visited, you’ve been constantly sending him letters- that being the way the two of you would communicate.

Dear Diluc,

You started writing, hoping he wouldn’t mind the tears that would be dry by the time he received this letter. You wrote all about your marriage troubles- how in the last month Ayato has hardly spoken to you, taking up more hours at work, and spending more time with another woman. You wrote down your suspicions he was probably in love with Sara, seeing as she was originally the first choice.

Part of you didn’t understand why you were so shocked because well, why not her? The workers were right, she was so much better that you in many ways; a better fighter, a harder worker, a better clan- a better everything.

When you read over the letter, you couldn’t help yourself from crying even more, fay tears rolling down your cheeks like an endless waterfall. You pushed the paper to the side, not wanting your tears to mess up the ink and your head fell onto the table as all you did was sob into your arms.

Your sobs turned into quiet whimpers until you felt no more motivation to continue crying, falling asleep right on the table.

When Ayato overheard what was seen of you from Ayaka, he rushed home as constant questions plagued his mind.

This was the first time he had ever left work only- it being almost 7pm, the sun starting to go down. He expected to find you on the bed, perhaps napping or crying into the pillows but no, he saw you with your head down on the table.

He walked up to you slowly, putting his hands on your shoulders and giving you a shake. He heard a slight snore and realized you were asleep, immediately removing his hands.

His eyes caught dried tears on a piece of paper and he picked it up, starting to read over it all.

At the end, he’d taken your old spot as he himself started to cry at the words you’d written; how you felt like a nobody compared to him, how he could do so much better and that he was probably in love with Kojou Sara.

That last part was what shocked him most. No! He was in love with you and only you’ he’ll admit, he has been with her a lot, but it was strictly for work! It’s been crazy with the end of the vision hunt degree, leaving the two clans in charge after Sara’s father was removed.

He read it over again, seeing how you wrote constantly “second choice” all over again.

In reality, the Kojou clan was originally his parents choice and was forced to ask them first. He always wanted to ask you first, because he had met you before and found you as the most gorgeous and outgoing girl he’s ever seen.

He looked back at you, one of his tears falling atop your head. Why didn’t you tell him any of this?! He would’ve loved to resssure you that you were the love of his life, the girl he’d always dreamed of. Sure, he hasn’t been here for a while- oh.

He dragged his hand down his face, realizing why you didn’t say anything; because he was never here.

“I’m so sorry, my love.” he whispered, wrapping one of his arms behind your back and on under your legs as he picked you up, taking you towards the bed and placing you down gently.

You started to stir awake when you felt his arms wrap around you. “‘Yato?” You called, barely above a whisper.

He shushed you, placing a kiss to where your shoulder met your neck as he snuggled closer to you. “I’m here now, my love. I promise I’ll always be here. Now go sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll be here forever and always. I love you so much, more than words can say.”

It was gonna be a long talk once the two of you woke up, but either way, you felt a lot warmer that night.

Alhaitham

You and Alhaitham weren’t engaged or married, only being together for a year and a half now.

So probably understandable why he was probably losing feelings for you? Right? Right?

“Hey, Kaveh.” You said, sitting in the kitchen of your shared home with Kaveh and Alhaitham.

“You look drained, Y/N. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

That was a lie and a big fat one at that. You weren’t okay whatsoever.

Recently, in the last month, Alhaitham had barely come back home and you’ve hardly gotten the chance to see him. There was no more good morning or good night kisses, little dates in between work or work visits. There was none of that.

Now it was just waking up to a cold, empty spot in your bed.

Kaveh could read you like an open book. He’s noticed the lack of affection and attention you’ve gotten from Alhaitham, and despite the fact he despised the man, he also cared for him and his significant other and noticed everything.

He just hoped his and yours suspicions wouldn’t come true; that he had fallen out of love and was possibly cheating.

The latter was what scared him the most with how recently Alhaitham has been with Dehya. He came back after a week of being away to the Grand Azar being removed along with half the workers in the Akademiya, to Alhaitham and Dehya now best friends. The fuck happens when he isn’t here?!

He’s seen how close the two are during his times being in the Akademiya and he prayed to Kusanali that the worst wasn’t going to happen.

You knew about Dehya; you’ve heard about it all over Sumeru. How she was a perfect fighter, a desert bloom, perfect both and image for all eremites.

You were jealous, and a tad bit insecure. She was perfect in so many ways; popular, appreciated, constantly complimented. Her body was perfect along with her hair and voice.

Your hair had uneven ends and you didn’t consider your body to be perfect.

No wonder Alhaitham would go for someone like her.

“Why don’t you go see Alhaitham?” Kaveh asked before he quickly got a large brown paper bag that was somehow filled with lunch and came out of nowhere. “Bring him lunch!”

It was his one attempt at getting you guys back to how you used to be.

You hoped it would work as Kaveh walked you to the Akademiya, and the whole time you were scared as your heart would drop with each step.

“Tell me where you find him, I need to talk to him about some work.” Kaveh said before leaving to talk to a scholar once the two of you arrived at the Akademiya.

You checked the library and there was no sign of him, even going to the outdoor areas since you knew how much he liked reading outdoors. You eventually asked a scholar who had pointed you in direction of his office and you felt your heart drop again.

You opened the doors slightly, hoping your lover would be happy to see you.

But what you came in to see was a Dehya standing right beside him as he wrote on a piece of paper, sitting on a chair at his office desk.

You felt your heart break a little when he didn’t even notice you walked in.

He only noticed when he heard the click of the door close behind you, the both of them looking up to see you with confusion on their faces.

The way Dehya stood so close to him with her toned and perfect body made your breath quicken in panic.

“Y/N?” Alhaitham spoke in confusion, halting his movement of writing on the paper. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to bring you lunch.” You spoke so quietly that it was almost a whisper that the two couldn’t hear.

“Oh.” He blinked as you put the bag on his desk, a fake smile plastered on your face that even though he was your lover, he couldn’t tell how forced it was. “Thank you.”

That was all he said before he looked back at Dehya, continuing to talk about eremites in the desert.

You felt your heart break into a million pieces and you slowly turned to leave. They broke into a million more when he didn’t even say goodbye or notice your departure.

You closed the door quietly and ran once it closed, tears streaming down your tears as you rushed to get out of the Akademiya.

Although, in the library, you heard a mention of his name and had to stop just to listen.

“Have you seen the Scribe and Dehya lately? I heard they’re together.”

“Really? What about Y/N? Did they break up?”

“Probably. Alhaitham is far better off with Dehya either way, not Y/N.”

You felt more tears stream down your face, not bringing yourself to move as you kept listening to the disgusting things they said about you.

The only thing that brought you out of it was a hand on your shoulder and you looked up to see Kaveh staring at you, concern all over his face as his hand moved up from your shoulder to wipe your tears.

You let out a loud sniff, shoving his hand away before speaking. “He’s in his office, if you’re still looking for him.”

Before he could speak, you ran off, leaving the library and soon leaving the Akademiya.

Kaveh glared at Alhaitham’s office doors. Sure, he lost most of his arguments to Alhaitham, but this one he was gonna win as he marched his way into the office, forcing Dehya out before he started yelling at the grey-haired man.

You couldn’t stay in Sumeru anymore. That was it.

You had been completely humiliated in front of Dehya, Kaveh and now the entire Akademiya knows that Dehya is so much better off for Alhaitham.

Maybe being a forest ranger wasn’t too bad. It would mean hardly being in the main city and you wouldn’t have to see Alhaitham.

You were actually thinking about it as you started writing a letter addressed to Tighnari at the edge of your bed, but halfway through when you realized what you were doing and why, you started violently sobbing as you fell to your knees, the letter scrunched up on the ground beside you as you sobbed into the softness of the edge of the bed.

You didn’t even hear the door open.

When Kaveh came in screaming at Alhaitham, it certainly shocked him and Dehya. He had even gone as far to yell at Dehya to get out of the office and she did, running out.

He went on and on about how you were and with each word, Alhaitham’s heart started to break.

He hadn’t even realized how much he’d been neglecting you until Kaveh had to voice it out for you. He’s been so busy with work and choosing a new grand sage that he’s practically been ignoring you and treating you like a stranger.

When Kaveh said the sentence “at this point, Y/N would be a lot better with me since you can’t be a good boyfriend!” Alhaitham stormed out of the office, making his way straight home with no stops.

You were his and his only and fuck no were you ever going to be Kaveh’s. He loved you, WAY more than Kaveh ever will.

But it seemed like Kaveh loved you more than he did in the last month and he hated every part of himself for it.

When he got home, he heard your violent sobs and started rushing to your shared room, his heart breaking once more at the sight of you.

He went down on his knees and wrapping his arms around you, pulling your back to his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist as you shook with sobs in his arms.

“Haitham?”

“I’m so sorry.” He spoke, his head resting against your shoulder as his own tears came out. “I’m so fucking sorry. You didn’t deserve what I did to you this past month, and I understand if you’re mad and want to leave me. Words can’t express how sorry I am, but I promise I will take the next few weeks off. Even if they tell me no, I’ll go against them and stay with you. My sweet, pretty girl, I love you- so so so much and a LOT more than Kaveh. You’re perfect, so so so perfect for me. Perfect face, eyes, mouth-“

He paused to press kisses all over your cheek, making you giggle through your cries and bringing a smile to your face. “My lips love you. My hands love you. I’ll go as far to say my dick loves you. Everything about me loves you. You’re perfect for me- everything about you is perfect for me. Screw anyone else, I just want you baby.”

The next hour went by with him saying constant reassurances while kissing you all over. He had even ripped apart the letter you wrote for Tighnari, saying you’ll never leave his side and certainly won’t work for another man where he can’t even see you.

He held you close that night, making sure you were warm after all the cold nights.

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anakincentric · 4 months

Text

mdni. minors & ageless blogs will be blocked. warnings: sexual content, established relationship, dom!anakin, brat!reader, daddy kink, praise (f receiving), dd/lg dynamics, size difference.

"daddy - ah! daddy. can't take much more." you confess, clawing into anakin's shoulders while your face twists in a cross between ache and ecstasy. writhing underneath him, you're desperate for friction, desperate to feel him all over your skin while he rails you. on your back, your tits jump with each of his juts, fat cock driving into its home over and over again. you whimper and cry, thrashing your head side-to-side, while your legs suspended in air bob with the force.

"you can handle it." anakin responds, casual enough for being under strain. he grits his teeth, growling through his nose as he moves. "yeah, baby... mm yeah that's it. who's my good girl? good girls sit pretty f'me." his sweet words help you loosen, but you still can't do what he requests, helplessly rutting as if to get him deeper or pull him out. his arms that cage you in swell from holding him over you, and for a particularly sharp jut into your wet heat to scold you for not listening to him. "hey." he says firmly, and drops to his elbow on the mattress, leaning on it to use his free hand to scoop under your head. he cups the back of it, his massive palm making you feel small as he rearranges you, pulling you forward and lifting your head from your pillow. "look." your eyes make contact with what he wants to show you, proudly demonstrating how your cunt slurps up his every inch. it transfixes you. bent over so your back aches, but you're entranced. strained pleasured noises choke out of your throat but you sit still just like he wants.

he knows your pretty eyes are dilated, watching your daddy's cock make a home down there. affectionately, he settles his forehead on yours, his golden curls tickling you as you watch your pussy grip his dick together. his strained exhales wash over your face. "daddy-y-y, it's so big." you whine, and look up at him with that glossy gaze he loves so much. he pecks your hairline.

"i know, princess, i know." he sympathizes, but you know he doesn't really mean it because he's still fucking you in a way that flexes his entire abdomen. you're near sob out of frustration, inhaling a shaky breath. "jus' a little daddy-baby bonding time."

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kevcanwait · 3 months

Text

𝙰 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝙲𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝/ 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘

𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳: 𝘉𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘯

𝘚𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳: 𝘓𝘦𝘦 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳: 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘣𝘪𝘯

𝘍𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳: 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯

𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳: 𝘏𝘢𝘯

𝘚𝘪𝘹𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳: 𝘍𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘹

𝘚𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳: 𝘚𝘦𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘮𝘪𝘯

𝘌𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳: 𝘑𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯

𝘕𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳: 𝘛𝘣𝘥

You honestly loved your job at Buzzfeed, who would've thought you would get to a point where you get to hang out with famous artists and actors for a day? Intern you would never believe it!

You've only made videos with one other person, like Tom Holland and Dove Cameron, but the moment you you were told you were doing more than one person, you were beyond nervous. The next celebrity, or celebrities, you were to hang out with was kept a secret from you, all you were told was to be packed and ready to fly somewhere with some of your crew, apparently everything had already been planned, that's never happened before, you tended to plan as the day went on.

On the plane, your camera operator and best friend gave you the list of activities. The names were covered and some activities as well, all you knew was that you were painting, baking, and going to a gym. "Wait, a gym? I have to work out?" You asked her and she laughed at your expression. You do work out but it's practically rare.

You also had no idea what flight you got on, you just followed the people you knew and your best friend, Sara, took your ticket before you could read it while Eric, your co-editor, covered your eyes and ears.

The moment the pilot welcomed everyone to Seoul, your jaw drops and you turn to Sara. "You're kidding, wait, who are we here to see? Who am I hanging out with?" You kept spewing questions but they wouldn't answer. Not just yet.

Next you find yourself blindfolded again before being walked into a building. You stood off to the side as you heard your team set up and then you were put in front of the camera, the blindfold taken off you and Sara fixed your hair before stepping away and you look towards the camera confused, you go to turn to look around but were told not to as Sara queued you to start.

"Hello everyone, it's Mn, and welcome to another episode of 'A day with a celeb'. I'm gonna be honest, I have no clue who today's guest is, I was told absolutely nothing but today, um..." Sara zoomed in on your face as you furrowed your brows. "We're Seoul, South Korea." You chuckle nervously. "Um, the only suspicion I have is that I'm going to be hanging out with my first K-pop idol or idols, I was told there was more than one."

"What group do you think you're hanging out with?" Sara asked you with a grin. "Girl, that smile is so creepy." You laugh and you hear a snicker behind you which made you jump (It was Felix, shh). "Wait, is there someone behind me?" "Mn, just answer the question." "Um, Ateez would be pretty cool to hang out with- Oh, wait, you gave me a list." You pull it out of your pocket and unfold it.

"The names are crossed out but there's some activities that I can read. There's eight things crossed out and I can only read cafe, painting, gym, and shop. That doesn't give me much." Sara laughs, her gaze appears to be over your shoulder. "Mn, real quick, can we film your ootd?" "U-Um sure." You readjust your footing and put the paper away. "Today I'm wearing Converse, Jeans, a cream shirt with a little blue pocket, and a Maniac Varsity Jacket from my favorite small business. They customized it to have Wolf.Chan from Stray Kids peaking out the pocket." You point to the embroidery with a smile.

"Who's peaking out of the pocket?" "Um, Chan's animal counterpart, he the leader of-" "Heard someone call my name." An arm is suddenly draped over your shoulders and you look to your left as the sudden arm around you made you jump but your immediately walking away with a scream, hiding your now rapidly warming face as you turn completely, only to be met with the other members as well.

"Are you kidding me?!" You turn to Sara who's laughing with the others. "You are so evil!" You jokingly scold her as Chan approaches you, you cover your face as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you back in front of the camera, seeing as you ran off behind the camera out of shot.

"This can't be real, is this really happening?"

You have to be dreaming.

You get to spend the day...With Stray Kids?!

#A day with a Celebrity #straykids x male #stray kids x male reader #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #jisung #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #jeongin #skz #stray kids

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sapphire-writes · 10 months

Text

Thin Ice (modern!HOTD)

pairing: Aegon x Reader & Cregan Stark x Reader

summary: Aegon and you spend the holidays together. Spring semester comes quickly and tensions rise between the team.

rating: Mature/Explicit/18+ (detailed warning below the cut)

series masterlist

previous chapter ~ Ch. 10: Confessions ~ next chapter

warnings: language, explicit p in v, mommy kink, oral (m-receiving), praising, slight edging/overstimulation, titty sucking, physical fighting, descriptions of blood

word count: 4.2k

note: hope you enjoy this chapter! thanks for all the love! one chapter left after this for my babies 🥹

dividers by @firefly-graphics

The tension between you and Helaena was short-lived after everything went down at the funeral. The days after the funeral were quiet, until Helaena and you talked for a long time. You told her everything. How it started with the deal and turned into something more. Helaena listened carefully, her violet eyes never leaving you.

“You know I’ll kill him, right?” she’d told you, her pretty face deadly serious, “Castrate him, chop him up into little pieces, get some Carrion Beetles-”

“Hel I know,” you’d told her with a laugh, “Wait, what are Carrion Beetles?”

“They eat the decomposing flesh of-”

“You know what!” you said, cutting her off, “I get it. But seriously, Hel,” you take her hand in yours, “Nothing would make me not be your friend anymore. Even if Aegon and I don’t work out.”

“I know,” she said in a soft voice, “I just get so scared, you know?”

“Yeah, I understand,” you told her, “And I should have been honest with you from the beginning. I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

“It’s okay,” she’d said, pulling you into a hug, “You know I love you, right? You’re my girl.”

You held onto Helaena tightly, happy tears filling your eyes, “I love you so much Hel.”

The next few weeks go by in a wonderful blur.

After Viserys’ funeral, you returned to campus for the whirlwind of finals. Aegon had passed philosophy, receiving a B- on his final. He’d stared at his phone in disbelief as the grade appeared as you’d jumped for joy. Then, like every year, you packed up a couple of bags preparing to say goodbye to KLU for the next month. Sara was always a wreck during this time, insisting you Facetime every day.

Only this winter, you join the Targaryen family again at their winter home up north. You’d gone with them last year, only for a couple of weeks, as Helaena’s plus one. This time, you were the guest of a different Targaryen.

The Targaryens were avid skiers, Aemond especially. Though you prefer the comfort of their extravagant cabin, nestled beneath several blankets with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and a good book. It was a dream come true, spending winter break with your boyfriend, and your best friend.

Well….boyfriend?

You and Aegon hadn’t really talked about it since before the funeral. You knew you were only seeing each other, and you knew the feelings you had for him that were only getting stronger with each passing day. But you hadn’t exactly defined the relationship.

Winter break was winding down, and a new semester looming with the new year. You didn’t feel eager to leave your comfortable, cozy bubble in the mountains.

“Have you been having fun?” Aegon asks, letting you snuggle against his chest. He places a kiss on top of your head as you watch the flames flicker in the fireplace.

It’s late, everyone is in bed, but you and Aegon have been confined to the couch in the living room for most of the night. The living room is spectacular, open with high ceilings with exposed beams. When you’re upstairs, you can lean over the balcony, looking down onto the living room and kitchen.

The house is quiet except for the crackling of the logs in the fireplace. You’d been watching holiday movies all afternoon with Daeron and Helaena; even Aemond had stopped in to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. But as the night grew later, everyone headed to their respective rooms.

“Mhmm,” you answer, snuggling closer.

His shirt is so soft and smells like the new cologne Alicent had bought him for Christmas. You’d nearly jumped him the moment he’d applied some.

“Good,” Aegon murmurs into your hair, “I wish we could just stay here.”

“Me too,” you tell him, “Maybe we can hide in the hot tub.”

“Mmm and hope they forget us?” Aegon asks. You can hear the smile in his voice.

“Exactly.”

“Unlikely, unfortunately,” Aegon says, causing you to sigh dramatically, “Aww, I’m sorry bunny.” He wraps his arms around you, squishing you closer to him.

You make a noise of contentment as you press closer to him. You can’t help but feel light-headed, with how warm he is and the enticing scent of his cologne. You’re definitely still in the honeymoon stage, you can’t seem to get enough of him. You glance up at him, looking through your lashes.

“What is it, pretty girl?” he asks, tapping your nose, “That face means you want something.”

You can’t help but grin. He knows you. You sit up, reluctantly pulling away from his embrace, bringing your hand to rest on his thigh. You can feel the muscle flex as you rub up and down. He’s got strong legs, Aegon Targaryen. You suppose he has to, being on the ice all the time.

“Can I….” you trail off, still rubbing his thigh, feeling the softness of his plaid pajama pants.

Aegon raises an eyebrow, eyes falling to your hand.

“Can you….what?” Aegon asks, mouth forming a smile as he finishes his sentence.

You can feel your cheeks flushing with embarrassment and want. You know he knows, he just wants to hear you say it. Aegon loves hearing you say filthy things.

“Let me suck your cock, baby,” you murmur, leaning forward to bury your face in the side of his neck, kissing the smooth skin, “Can I, please?”

“Fuck,” Aegon manages to choke out, “Shit, of course, you can.”

You release a satisfied hum, nipping at his neck before pushing yourself up off the sofa. Aegon hurriedly moves the blankets off of his lap, eyes nervously glancing upwards. You smirk up at him playfully.

“Nervous?” you ask, digging your nails into his thigh.

“Dirty girl,” Aegon slightly scolds, smiling down at you, “What if someone wakes up?”

“We better be quick then,” you tell him.

You bring your hands to his hips as he lifts them, letting you tug down his pajama pants and underwear freeing his thick cock. It slaps against his stomach, standing at desperate attention; the tip flushed pink and weeping, begging to be touched.

You stroke his thighs again, taking time to admire his dick, the way it curves upwards slightly, the blue veins threading their way up the underside. Pretty cock for a pretty boy.

“You just gonna stare at it?” Aegon teases, his voice nearing a whine.

You flick an eyebrow up at him. He’s teasing, but you know it's a facade. He’s as desperate for you as you are for him.

“You’ll take what I give you,” you tell him, anticipation curling in your belly.

“Oh yeah?” Aegon says, leaning forward to brush some hair from your face.

You nuzzle against his hand momentarily, before leaning forward to wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, suckling lightly. Aegon hisses, a whine leaving his lips as you swipe your tongue across the slit, lapping away at the salty liquid that beaded there.

“Shhhh baby,” you murmur, barely taking your lips off his cock.

Humming in satisfaction, you close your eyes as you take more of him into your mouth. You hollow your cheeks letting him sink deeper into your mouth and down your throat. Your heart beats furiously in your chest as your lungs panic momentarily before you remember to breathe through your nose and open your eyes to gaze up at Aegon.

His jaw is slack, head thrown back, eyes screwed shut in pleasure. His hand fists your hair, tugging just enough that delicious pinpricks of pain dance across your scalp. Aegon’s eyes flutter open as you remove him completely from your mouth, before licking up the underside of his shaft and engulfing him yet again.

“Jesus Christ,” Aegon moans, thighs tensing as you deepthroat him. He’s struggling to keep his voice down, as another moan escapes him.

You bob your head up and down, hollowing your cheeks and sucking as you do so, turning your mouth into a vacuum around his length. Saliva pools in your mouth and you break away from him with a gasp, spittle coating your lips and dripping down your chin.

“My messy, pretty girl,” Aegon purrs, as you bring a hand to his shaft, stroking him as you begin to mouth at his balls, “Fuck that’s so good, baby.”

You bring your attention back to his cock, an ache beginning to form between your legs causing you to clench your thighs together for some kind of friction. You move your head around him with intense purpose. You need to make him feel good, need to make him cum down your throat. You can feel him shaking below you, inching closer and closer toward his orgasm.

“Fuck..mommy,” he whimpers suddenly, and you freeze.

You release him with a pop, a trail of saliva still connecting you to the head of his cock. Aegon’s eyes widen as your lips form a lazy smile.

“What was that, baby?” you ask, stroking his length with your hand.

Aegon’s cheeks are flushed with embarrassment and he drops his violet eyes away from your gaze. He’s silent a moment before wetting his lips.

“Nothing,” he murmurs, “Let’s just-”

“No,” you tell him, squeezing his length gently, “We’ll continue when you say it again.”

Aegon’s jaw slacks, his lavender eyes wide. You’re not letting him get away with that so easily. Not when what he said made your clit throb intensely. You can feel yourself growing wetter, thighs sticking together.

“Wh-What?” he asks softly, causing a rush of desire to wash over you.

“Say it again,” you encourage, “C’mon be a good boy.”

You lazily stroke his cock, the movement effortless with how lubricated it is with your saliva.

“Oh fuck, oh shit-” Aegon says, eyes squeezing shut.

You release your grip, stopping the pumping motion of your hand. Aegon whines in disappointment, eyes fluttering open. His mouth drops open in shock, his violet eyes are glassy with needy tears.

“Baby,” he whines, chest heaving with each inhale.

“Say it,” you encourage, bringing your lips to rest on the head of his cock. You wrap your fingers around his cock once more, tapping it against your puckered lips, “C’mon Egg.”

Aegon whimpers as you say it, sucking his lower lip between his teeth.

“Fuck, Mommy please,” he whimpers, dick twitching in your hand.

Desire burns through your veins like liquid fire hearing him say that to you, watching his lower lip tremble with the whines he lets spill free. You only hope you’re being quiet enough that no one upstairs hears.

“Good boy,” you praise him, taking him into your mouth once more.

You bob your head up and down, rewarding him for his good behavior. It sends a rush of adrenaline through you, having Aegon in the palm of your hand like this. He always seems to be the more dominant one in bed, but here on your knees in front of him, he’s at your mercy.

“Mommy, please,” he whines again, voice breaking, “Gonna cum for you.”

You hum in appreciation, popping off for a moment, stroking him with your slippery, wet hand. You bring your other hand to his balls, fondling them gently.

“I want your cum, baby, Mommy needs it,” you tell him, your voice practically a purr as you engulf him in your mouth again.

“Holy shit,” he gasps, and you feel his cock twitch, feel his warm cum paint the back of your throat as he finishes with a moan.

You keep going, keep moving your mouth around him until every drop has been drained and Aegon is a whimpering, begging mess.

“Please, Mommy, it's too much, please, please!” he whimpers as you finally release him.

You bite your lip, looking up at him as he struggles to regain his breathing. His lavender eyes are blown with lust, and he smiles down at you before grasping your elbows and dragging you up towards him. Aegon captures your lips in a heated kiss, moaning as you eagerly slip your tongue into his mouth.

You break away, only to slip off your own pajama pants before moving to sit on his lap. You straddle his waist, grinding against his lap, feeling him growing hard once more underneath you. It’s impressive, truly.

“Let me make you feel good, Mommy,” he groans, hands firmly planted on your ass and squeezing harshly.

You gasp against his mouth, and he drags his lips down your jaw to the column of your throat, leaving wet kisses in his wake. Aegon brings one of his hands in between you, looping through the lace of your panties and pulling them to the side. You raise your hips before sinking down on top of him, the stretch not failing to take your breath away.

You stay like that for a moment, lips barely touching, the fire crackling behind you. Faintly, you hear the creaking of footsteps upstairs, the opening and shutting of someone’s closet door. You and Aegon lock eyes for a moment, before dissolving into nervous giggles.

You roll your hips, connecting your lips to his once more, kissing him slowly. Aegon brings his hands to your waist again, aiding you with your bouncing on his thick cock.

“You’re doing such a good job,” you whisper into his mouth. Aegon eats your praise like he’s starved for it, kissing your neck, and your jaw, trailing down between your breasts, “Making Mommy feel so good, baby.”

Aegon whimpers at your words, tugging your shirt out of the way and bringing his hot mouth to your pebbled nipple. His free hand digs into your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“Yeah?” he moans, looking up at you as he continues to suckle on your nipple.

“Yes baby,” you assure him, running your fingers through his hair, “Oh fuck, Aegon.”

The pleasure is building in your abdomen with every roll of your hips, every flick of his tongue on your nipple. When Aegon brings his hand between you to rub circles around your clit, your head falls to his shoulder. White hot pleasure tingles everywhere, from the top of your head down to your toes. Your nails scrape against his scalp and then you’re shuddering on top of him, pussy clenching around his thick cock as you soak his cock.

“Fuck,” Aegon hisses, as your clenching sends him into his second release, “Oh fuuuck.”

Aegon releases your breast, kissing his way back to your mouth. You roll your hips experimentally with his ever-softening cock still sheathed within you, causing him to let out a sharp groan.

“M’senstitive baby,” he mutters, against your lips. Teasingly, you roll your hips again, causing him to not-so-gently bite down on your lower lip.

“Ouch!” you hiss, slapping his chest lightly.

Aegon laughs softly, gazing at you as you brush some pieces of hair from his forehead. You notice him staring and pout, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“What?” you ask, eyes narrowing.

“You’re just beautiful, that’s all,” Aegon says with a slight shrug.

“Oh?”

“Mhmm,” he says, smiling thoughtfully, “You know I had a thing for you last year.”

Your heart picks up speed once more. Aegon always seems to have that effect on you.

“What?” you ask, not really believing him.

“It’s true,” he assures you, “When you came on the trip last year. I kept thinking about visiting your room. Joining you in the hot tub.”

“Why didn’t you?” you ask, though you already know.

Aegon doesn’t answer. You were seeing Jason then too, which wouldn’t have been pretty.

“Timing wasn’t right,” Aegon says with a grin, “And timing is everything.”

You smile at him. He’s right. Everything ended up the way it was supposed to.

“Speaking of timing, we should probably get dressed if we don’t want someone to walk in on me seated on your cock,” you tell him, and Aegon feigns a gasp.

“I mean, I’m into exhibitionism if you’re up for it-” You slam your hand over his mouth before he can finish, but you know he’s smiling from the crinkling of his eyes.

“You’re a bad boy,” you whisper, slowly letting your hand drop.

“No no no, you said I was good,” he insists, kissing your lips.

Reluctantly, you move away from him, pulling your panties back into place and putting your pants on. Aegon does the same as you glance out the window.

“Egg look!” you gasp, walking over to the sliding glass door.

Large snowflakes have begun to fall, and a thin coating of white blankets the ground outside. The stars are bright, the moonlight shining through the trees and bathing the world in silver. You always liked winter for that reason; the stars seem brighter when it's below freezing. You press your hand to the frosty glass of the door, suppressing a shiver.

Aegon joins behind you, putting his hand on top of yours, and pressing his back against you until your breasts are pressed against the glass. Your nipples harden at the cold sensation and you let out a breathy gasp.

“We can have a quickie right here,” he teases, kissing your neck. You smile, unable to stop yourself.

“Against the door?” you ask, eyebrows raised, arching your back.

“Temperature play,” he sing-songs and you shake your head.

“Time for bed,” you tell him, taking his hand and leading him toward the stairs.

With the start of the spring semester came the first hockey scrimmage. Sara, now officially Jace’s girlfriend, was making it her permanent mission to be at every game the Knights had. Scrimmages, practices, the whole deal. Of course, you’re more than happy to tag along, especially now that you and Aegon are public.

“I mean, Cregan’s a nice guy,” Sara says with a shrug, “I’m sure they talked it out.”

Now that everyone knew you and Aegon were a thing, life was so much less stressful. Except when it came to Cregan. You’d watched them warm up together on the ice, sensing the tension from the stands. Though you admit, you were a little distracted watching Aegon do those damn hockey stretches where he’s basically thrusting against the ice. He even glanced up at you, flashing a smile as he did them.

This guy.

Your gaze drifts back to the rink, watching as the King’s Landing Knights retake the ice. The team does a lap around, and your eyes immediately find Aegon. As the team forms their positions, you look over to Cregan who stands in the net, his eyes locked on Aegon.

“Yeah,” you agree, “Yeah they totally are fine.”

“Sure,” Baela says, looking at Cregan as well, “There’s no tension or anything.”

“Oh jeez,” Rhaena says, biting her lip.

“What?” you ask, hoping you’re just being paranoid.

Baela and Rhaena exchange nervous glances.

“Nothing!” they say in unison.

Something is definitely off on the ice. With the team in general. Aegon’s pissed; you can tell by the way he’s shouting at everyone, teammates and opponents alike. Cregan’s pissed as well, calling out plays from his spot in the goal, calling time-outs, and nearly spending time in the penalty box for roughness with another player.

“This blows,” Sara says with a sigh. The Knights are down considerably, it's clear they’re going to lose this game. Even if it's just a scrimmage, it doesn’t go well for the beginning of this half of the season.

Two minutes are left on the clock and you’re feeling anxious about the game ending. You’re watching the clock when Aegon skates over, calling Cregan in the net. You can’t tell what he said, but something lights up in Cregan’s eyes.

As Aegon skates around the other side, Cregan throws his stick to the ice.

“Oh shit-” you breathe, as Cregan slams into Aegon’s back.

Aegon’s taken by surprise, falling forward, stick flying out of his grasp. In a second, he’s back on his feet, slamming himself into Cregan, the both of them crashing into the plexiglass wall. The referees are blowing their whistles like crazy, and other members of the team are pulling them apart. Aegon rips off his helmet, chucking it at Cregan from across the ice.

Cregan smacks it out of the way, breaking out of Jace’s grip and punching Aegon in the face. You see the splatter of blood paint the ice red, and hear Aegon’s laugh as he spits a wad of blood and saliva before rubbing his nose with his gloved hand. Reese Bolton has his arm around Aegon, holding him tightly as he struggles to get Cregan. Reese is a bigger guy than Egg, he holds him with ease, seemingly not caring about the blood that runs from Aegon’s face onto his arm.

Aegon and Cregan are hauled off the ice and you can feel everyone’s eyes on you.

“Holy,” Sara says, mouth hanging open.

“Fuck,” Rhaena and Baela say in unison once more.

“Thank you, Shining twins,” you grumble. You’d always refer to Baela and Rhaena as that whenever they say things at the same time. It’s a twin thing, they always argue.

“Coach is gonna murder them,” Sara says with a nod, “Damn. Jace looked so hot holding Cregan back.”

“Jesus Christ,” Baela groans, “Can you focus for one second, please?”

“It’s okay,” you assure Baela, “I just hope Egg’s okay, Cregan got him pretty good.”

“Egg loves a fight,” Rhaena tells you, “Did you see him laughing? Cregan just made his whole day.”

“I don’t know,” you say with a shake of your head.

They call the game, everyone leaves the ice in a somber mood. You wait for a while on the bleachers as the team exits the locker rooms heading out for the night. You wait with Sara as Baela and Rhaena head to Late Night, the local diner on campus to grab some food. Sara runs down the bleachers to Jace as he emerges, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. Jace meets your eyes over her shoulder.

“Egg’s meeting with Coach, but he should be done soon. If you want to wait for him,” he tells you.

“Thanks, Jace,” you say with a smile.

“You sure you’re okay to wait? We can stay,” Sara tells you and you shake your head.

“Go meet Bae and Rhae, I’m good, I’ll catch up,” you tell her with a smile.

You walk down the hallway toward the locker rooms to find Aegon, running into Cregan as he leaves. You stop awkwardly, as he raises his gaze from the floor noticing you. He scoffs, running a hand through his wet hair.

“Egg’s in there,” he tells you.

“Are you okay?” you ask him.

Cregan is silent for a moment, brown eyes softening.

“Yeah,” he says, “Yeah I guess I just lost my cool for a second.”

You don’t know what to say, you just give him a nod.

“We’ve talked,” Cregan tells you, “Coach kind of insisted.”

“I’m glad,” you tell him, “I really didn’t mean to hurt you, Cregan. And I'm so sorry that I did.”

Cregan nods and continues down the hallway, brushing past you. You stand still for a moment, biting your lip, before turning.

“Hey!” you call.

He stops turning slightly at the sound of your voice.

“Are we…are we okay?” you ask him, unable to keep the hopeful tone from your voice.

Cregan sighs, his eyes tired.

“Yeah,” he finally says, “Yeah, we’re good Y/N.”

A weight lifts from your chest at his words. You don’t think you and Cregan will be friends, but being okay with each other feels better than nothing. He and Aegon are teammates after all.

Aegon.

Cregan continues down the hallway, leaving the rink and you let him go. You begin walking once more, entering the men’s locker room. It’s empty and quiet, the dripping of the showers the only sound.

“Egg?” you call, moving into the locker room.

You find him seated, freshly showered, lacing his sneakers. His hockey bag is next to him, stuffed with his pads and jersey. He tilts his head up to look at you, smiling that signature sideways grin of his.

There’s already bruising around his eyes from the force of Cregan’s punch but thankfully it looks like he didn’t break his nose. You walk over to him.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you tell him, bringing a hand to his face, “You are okay, right?”

“Nose still straight, teeth still here,” he assures you, placing his hand over yours.

“What happened out there?” you ask, curious about what started the fight.

Aegon shakes his head, droplets of water tickling your hand.

“Just told him to stop being a prick and guard the fucking goal,” Aegon tells you, “Set him off I guess. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“I’m sorry,” you tell him.

“Don’t be,” he says with a pout, “You’re worth every punch.”

You smile, stroking his cheek.

“I’m glad your face is okay,” you tell him.

“Would you still like me if I’m missing a few teeth?” he jokes, smiling up at you.

“I’d love you regardless,” you answer, eyes widening at the realization of what you’ve said.

Aegon is silent for a moment, just gazing up at you in wonder, as though he can’t believe you’re really here with him. You’re mumbling through an embarrassed apology when he stands, cupping your cheeks with both hands and connecting your lips. He kisses you softly for a moment and everything you were thinking before fizzles out of your head.

Until all that’s left is him.

He pulls away, smiling.

“I love you too, bunny.”

note: hope you enjoyed!! ONE CHAPTER LEFT!! WOOOOO!!!

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a-simple-gaywitch · 1 year

Text

Amidst the Chaos

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Spencer and (Y/N) didn't get along, and it annoyed the whole BAU. But when a traumatized (Y/N) shows up at Spencer's apartment late one night, their whole relationship shifts

Warnings: PTSD, trauma, references to torture, other canon-typical topics

Word Count: 3827

Author’s Note: not necessarily my best fic, but i’ve been working on it for over a year so... here it is

Orpheus - Sara Bareilles

AO3 Link

“Don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos. Though I know it's blinding, there's a way out.” ~ Sara Bareilles, Orpheus

“Guys, I want you to meet our newest team member,” Hotch said to the BAU as they settled around the table. “This is Agent (Y/N) (L/N).”

You gave a shy wave to the group in front of you, but your smile was bright enough to light up the entire room. “Hi.”

“She’s coming to us from Organized Crime. I trust that you’ll all welcome her to the team.”

“Honestly, I’m just happy to be given a chance to work with all of you. It’s been my dream to work at the BAU for years.”

“We’ll have time to get to know Agent (L/N) better on the plane. But for now, we have a case,” Hotch said. “JJ?”

“So,” Derek said, taking a seat next to you on the jet. “What was Organized Crime like?”

“Honestly? Boring as all hell. It was mostly stopping money laundering and drug cartels,” you said. “Not as glamorous as Goodfellas makes it seem. Besides, the BAU was always my end goal anyway.”

He chuckled a bit. “Yeah, I get that. We’re glad to have you on our team. ” The conversation between you and Morgan flowed easily and before you knew it, you had become like brother and sister. The rest of the team grew to love you too. Well, most of the team.

Spencer seemed icy and cold toward you, and no one could offer a valid explanation. By all accounts, you should have gotten along. You loved Halloween just as much as Spencer did and you always had at least 3 books on your person at a time. You had a borderline unhealthy addiction to caffeine and sugar and spent more time in the office than your apartment. But for some reason, you and Spencer just seemed to constantly be at each other’s throats.

In your defense, Reid had started it.

For whatever reason, Reid disliked you right out the gate. He tried to be civil toward you, but something about you just bothered him.

He originally just tried to avoid you when he could, but with the nature of the team’s dynamic, that didn’t work out well.

Spencer found himself doing small, petty things to annoy you, like putting your favorite mug on the top shelf where you couldn’t reach it or borrowing your pens and “forgetting” to return them. Something about seeing you mildly inconvenienced and annoyed as opposed to your normally happy and bubbly self made him feel better. He knew it was fucked up of him.

Eventually, the animosity became mutual. You and Spencer were rarely paired together on cases because Hotch couldn’t stand the constant arguing between the two of you. Mostly, Hotch tended to pair you with Derek who you began to see as a brother.

Spencer would never admit it, but seeing you and Derek be as close as you were stirred some kind of jealousy in him. He figured it was just because he had been friends with Morgan first, that was all.

Local cases were always extra stressful on the team. Something about unsubs being so close to home made the cases more personal. As such, tensions were running high and no one had slept in over 24 hours as the team worked to nail down a profile.

“This doesn’t make sense,” you muttered as you looked over the crime scene photos. “The crime profiles as disorganized but the victimology and timeline profile him as organized.”

“How you doing there, Pretty Girl?” Morgan asked, setting down a carrier of coffee cups.

You sighed and picked up the cup with your name scrawled on it. “There’s discrepancies in our preliminary profile and I can’t…”

“Did you try comparing notes with Reid?”

“Derek, I love you, but are you insane?”

“I’m serious, (Y/N).”

“So am I. Any time I try to have any kind of civilized conversation with that man he turns it into an argument.”

Thankfully, Hotch came into the room at that point, stopping the conversation. “We have two potential leads. Morgan, you’re going with Blake to the first address. (L/N), you and Reid are going to the second.” Hotch tossed you both keys for SUVs. “Reid and Blake have the files. They’ll fill you in on the drive.”

“Yes, sir.” You grabbed your coffee from the table, along with Reid’s, and headed out to the car. When you got to the parking lot, Reid was already leaning against the car, flipping through a file folder. “Reid. Here.”

As you handed him the coffee, he said, “What, was everyone else busy?”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know. I’m just following Hotch’s orders.” You unlocked the car and climbed in. “Where are we going?”

“21 Rock Creek Road, Somerset. We’re interviewing Linda Walsh, the neighbor of our first victim, Savanna Curtis.”

“Great. Can you type it into the GPS?”

“Why? I can just give you the directions.”

“Because the GPS is more accurate.”

“(L/N), I have an eidetic memor-”

“Eidetic memory, I know. But you’re telling me your memory can predict traffic patterns? I don’t think so. Just use the damn GPS.”

“Fine.” Spencer typed the address in, muttering under his breath.

“Thank you. What information do we have on Walsh?”

“72 years old, she was reportedly in the house when Curtis was attacked and taken to the secondary location. Hotch wants us to interview her and see if she noticed anything that might help us with the profile.”

Soon enough, the two of you pulled up to the witness’s house. Before even getting out of the car, you felt like something was wrong.

”Wait, Reid.” You grabbed his arm as he reached for the door handle. “Something about this doesn’t feel right.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at the windows. All of them are dark. Not even a television glow. Something’s off.”

“I hate to say it, but you’re right.”

You hopped out of the car and pulled your gun from your side, following Reid up the path to the house. He knocked on the front door.

“I don’t hear anything from inside.” He knocked again. “Go around the back, see if you can get in that way.”

You nodded and walked around the house. You could hear Reid continuing to knock as you went around. As you rounded the corner, a sharp pain entered your shoulder. You yelled and turned around, but not before a blunt object hit you in the temple and your vision faded.

Spencer was panicking. You were missing, and it was his fault. He was pacing in the front yard of Walsh’s home while the team and the local authorities worked to catch up.

“Reid, what happened?” Hotch asked. “We need everything.”

Spencer relayed every detail from the moment the two of you pulled up to the house, still pacing. “I shouldn’t have told her to go off on her own, it’s my fault-”

“Kid, breathe,” Morgan told him. “You didn’t know this would happen. What’s important now is finding her and bringing her home safe.”

The team did a thorough inspection on Mrs. Walsh’s home and learned a good deal. Mrs. Walsh wasn’t home, as was reported. However, her son, Devin, was clearly staying with her. It didn’t take the team long to figure out he was the unsub.

When you awoke, you were in a secondary location. Your head was throbbing behind your eyes and your shoulder was in agony. Your arms were tied behind your back, but that was the only restraint to your mobility. You looked around, trying to figure out where you were. It was a large, open space, you guessed a warehouse, probably abandoned. It was dark, except for the glow of the streetlights outside and an industrial lamp in the center of the room. You didn’t have much time to assess your surroundings, though, because Walsh was waiting for you to wake up.

You knew the facts of the case. You saw the photos. He kept the women for 24 hours, torturing them until their bodies were barely recognizable. Then, he’d kill and dump them.

But you also knew your team. They were relentless. And they would save you.

“We’ve seen what he does to his victims. We’re in a race against the clock here,” Morgan argued with Hotch.

“But we still have to keep our heads and follow the law. If we don’t get a warrant, any evidence we do find goes right out the window.”

“Guys, Garcia found something,” JJ said. She put her phone on speaker. “Go ahead, Garcia.”

“So, Walsh’s dear old dad was the owner of a warehouse in the 80s. The warehouse is still in his name but has since been abandoned. And before you even ask, yes, I sent you the address.”

The SUVs pulled up to the warehouse and the team jumped out. The plan was to enter the building slow and quiet, but that changed when they heard you scream, followed by a gunshot. Then, everything went silent. Completely silent.

Everyone rushed into the building. The team was terrified of what they were about to find. What they saw, no one could have expected.

You were lying unconscious on the floor, in a pool of blood. Also on the floor, with a bullet hole through his forehead, was Devin Walsh. Standing with a gun in her hands was 72 year old Linda Walsh, tears running down her face.

“I had to,” she said, looking at Hotch. “He was gonna kill her.”

“We need a medic!”

The team was sitting around your hospital bed. The doctor had said you probably wouldn’t wake up for a while, but they were determined to have someone there with you when you did.

“We should take shifts,” JJ suggested. “That way there’s always someone here and the rest of us can get some rest, too.”

“That’s a good idea. Dave and I can take the first shift,” Hotch said. “We’ll do four-hour rotations in pairs.”

They talked through who would pair up and take what rotations before Rossi shooed the rest of the team out.

Eventually, Reid and Morgan were on their “shift.” Morgan glanced over at Reid, who was staring at the same page of a book.

“You ever gonna flip that page?”

“What if she doesn’t wake up?”

“Kid, you heard the doctor. She will.”

“But what if she doesn’t? It would be my fault. I’m the one who made her go off by herself. We were supposed to be a team and I couldn’t see past-” He cut himself off, shaking his head.

“Hey,” Morgan put his hand on Spencer’s shoulder, “it’ll be okay, Reid. I’m gonna go grab a coffee. Want one?”

“Sure.” After Morgan left, Spencer looked at you and sighed. Your body was wrapped in casts and bandages. “Hey, (L/N),” he said, reaching out and resting his hand on top of yours.

One thing you didn’t expect about being in a medically induced coma was to still hear everything going on around you. You could hear the doctors and nurses moving about your room. You could hear your teammates. You heard Hotch and Rossi talking about the paperwork they’d have to file on the case because an agent had been seriously injured. You heard the music Penelope insisted on playing, and you heard Spencer.

“Hey, (L/N),” you heard him say. “I don’t know if you can hear me but,” he took a deep breath, “I’m sorry. Not just for this. I mean, obviously for this. I never should have split us up, I never should have sent you around the back of the house, I never should have-” he stopped himself. You could hear the tightness in his voice. Was he crying? No, Reid wouldn’t be crying over you. Would he? But he continued. “I was awful to you. I mean, I was an asshole,” he said with a dry laugh. “There’s no other word for it. I was an asshole to you and there was no excuse. I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I-”

“One cup of sugar with a splash of coffee,” Derek said, coming back into the room.

“Thanks.” Reid took the cup in both his hands, grateful for a distraction from his guilt.

“Any change?”

He shook his head. “None.”

Derek sighed. “You know, part of me was really hoping she’d wake up in the five minutes I was gone.” He gripped your hand that wasn’t casted up. “We miss you, Pretty Girl.”

Your coma lasted for about 3 weeks. The doctors kept you in the hospital for observation for another full week before finally letting you go home.

During your recovery, your apartment was practically a revolving door. Just about the entire team came by to check on you and keep you company, with the exception of Spencer. You couldn’t say you were too surprised. However, something about it upset you. Hell, even Hotch and Rossi took the time to stop by and check on you.

Derek and Penelope were probably your most frequent visitors. You were honestly grateful for their visits, and for the help it brought. With your injuries, simple day-to-day tasks were more difficult for you, and Penelope and Derek were more than happy to help you out. Derek took your grocery list and all your other errands while Penelope helped around your apartment. You were even more grateful when they forced you to attend a dinner party at Rossi’s. Penelope was at your apartment, helping you pick out a dress for the event.

“I don’t know, Pen.”

“(Y/N), I’m telling you, purple is your color.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want my dress to match my bruises.”

Penelope just rolled her eyes and tossed the dress on your bed. “Do you really think I’d pick out a dress that didn’t make you look good? Let’s go, you haven’t had a proper shower in a week.”

Penelope helped you get ready for the dinner party before getting ready herself. She helped adjust the strap of your brace when your doorbell buzzed.

“That’ll be Derek,” you said. Penelope answered the door to Derek standing outside, leaning against your doorframe.

“Well, look at these pretty ladies. You ready to go?”

“Yeah, I need to get out of this house,” you said. “I haven’t seen anything but these walls in weeks.”

When you pulled into Rossi’s driveway, you were more than excited to see the team. The team, in turn, was excited to see you. You were smiling and laughing, more and more of your normal self.

When Spencer saw you walk through Rossi’s front door on your crutches, a lump formed in his throat. Ever since seeing you in the hospital, he’d been wracked with guilt. It was the main reason why he hadn’t visited you like everyone else. He tried to avoid you the whole night. Thankfully, you were so happy to be with the others that you didn’t seem to notice. But Blake did.

“Okay, what’s going on with you?” she asked Spencer, handing him a drink.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re avoiding everyone tonight. Why?” When Spencer stayed silent, Blake followed his line of sight. He was watching you talking with JJ. “Ah. Why don’t you go talk to her?”

“I can’t, Alex. Believe me, I’ve tried. For months. Any time I try and have just a normal goddamn conversation with her, what comes out is sarcastic and cruel. I-I don’t know why it happens.” He ran his hands over his face and groaned.

“You’re in love with her.” Blake wasn’t saying it as a question. Seeing the panic in his eyes, she said, “Don’t worry, it’ll stay with me.”

The heavy sheets of rain outside pounded against the apartment windows. It was the kind of cold rain that seeped into your bones, despite a warm home. It was late, but Spencer was still awake, reading. He couldn’t sleep, which wasn’t unusual for him. He heard a knock on his door. Spencer set his book down on his coffee table before walking to his door. He glanced out the peephole and took a step back in shock. Spencer opened the door to see you standing there, soaked and visibly shivering, in only your pajamas. Your eyes were bloodshot and you were sniffling.

“(L/N)? What are you-”

“I’m sorry. I know you probably don’t want me here and I don’t even know how I ended up here, I just started walking and-”

“Wait, wait, you walked here? In the torrential downpour?” When you nodded, Spencer opened his door wider. “Here, come in. You must be freezing. What happened?”

You stepped through his door and began to ramble, “I don’t know. I woke up from a nightmare and I knew I-I couldn’t stay in my apartment alone so I just started walking and somehow I ended up here and I’m sorry.” Your teeth were chattering as you continued to shiver.

Spencer grabbed a blanket off the back of his couch and draped it around you. “No, no, it’s, um-” Spencer cleared his throat. “Do you want to talk about it? I’ve found that sometimes just saying it out loud helps.”

Once you nodded, Spencer held his hand out and led you over to his couch. You were silent for a few moments, staring out the window at the rain streaming down.

“I was back… there,” you said when you finally started talking. “In the dark. I-I couldn’t see anything but I knew he was there. Then I felt his hands on my throat and-” You cut yourself off, shaking your head. Your whole body was shivering, but Spencer didn’t think it was from the cold anymore.

Spencer moved to put his arm around you but stopped, dropping his arm back to his side. “I know how you feel,” he said. “After Hankle, I couldn’t handle looking at the crime scene photos because I knew what the victims were thinking right… you know… right before.”

“Do they ever stop? The nightmares?”

“I don’t know. Mine haven’t.” When he saw the defeat on your face, he added, “But it does get easier.”

You nodded, still staring out at the pouring rain. You cleared your throat. “Well, uh, I’ll, um, I’ll call a taxi and get out of your hair.”

“You don’t- uh, you can stay, um, if-if you want,” Spencer said.

“Reid, I don’t want to impose-”

“You wouldn’t be!” Spencer assured you. “I could use the company, actually. I’ve been trying to find someone to watch Stardust with me. Penelope says I need to watch more pop culture and I know you’re a fan of Neil Gaiman.” He gave you a soft smile. “Please, (Y/N), stay. I promise, you’re not imposing.”

When he saw your face crack into a small smile, he felt a swarm of butterflies rise in his stomach. “Okay,” you said.

About halfway through the movie, Spencer felt you slump against his shoulder. Before he knew it, you were fast asleep. He was frozen there, not wanting to disturb you. He knew how rough the past few months had been, and it was obvious to everyone you weren’t sleeping. Maybe it was the guilt, maybe it was more, but Spencer felt like it was now his responsibility to take care of you, if you would let him.

The whole team noticed the shift between you and Reid. Where you would previously stay as far from each other as possible, you were now actively seeking each other out. You chose to sit next to each other in the briefing room and on the jet, something you had never done before. On the trips back from cases, you would rest your head on Reid’s shoulder and sleep while he read a book. But, no one said anything about any of it. No one wanted to burst whatever weird bubble was surrounding the BAU team.

That was, until Blake, Derek, and JJ spotted you knocking on Spencer’s motel door one night during a case. The two were sitting up in the lounge going over the case files yet again when they spotted you, in your pajamas, sneaking out of your own room.

After watching you slip into Spencer’s room, JJ said, “You don’t think they’re…”

“Reid and (L/N)? No, there’s no way. They can’t stand each other.”

“Well, they do say there’s a thin line between love and hate,” Alex noted, turning the page in her book.

“I don’t know about you two, but I need to know what’s going on,” Derek said, getting up from the couch.

“I’m coming with you!”

“Guys, I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Alex warned. “Just talk to them about it in the morning.”

“Do you know something, Alex?” JJ asked.

“Even if I did know something, it wouldn’t be my place to tell you.”

The next morning, you felt eyes on you as you drank your coffee. You looked up from the case file to see Derek staring at you.

“What?”

“Were you going to tell me about you and Reid or…”

“What are you talking about? Me and Reid?”

“(Y/N), come on. You two are practically attached at the hip when just two weeks ago you couldn’t fucking stand each other.”

You shrugged. “We worked out our differences, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Alright, what about you sneaking off to his room last night?”

Your face paled. “It’s not what it looked like.”

“Care to explain then?”

You sighed, looking around to make sure it was just you and Morgan. “You know I haven’t been sleeping since, well, everything.” Derek nodded. “Well, a few nights ago I ended up at Reid’s apartment in a panic. It was pouring out so he let me just stay and I slept better than I had in years. And, you know, he’s not too bad to hang out with either,” your face flushed with your last statement.

“You’re not too bad to hang out with either.”

You jumped, turning around to see Spencer in the doorway with cups of (good) coffee in his arms.

“Spencer, when did-”

He handed you a frappuccino. “Just now. I take it you weren’t as sneaky as you thought?”

“Shut up,” you whined, nudging him with your arm as you stuck a straw in your drink. Spencer just laughed and took a seat next to you.

“So, you’re just, like, friends now?”

You and Spencer looked at each other, seemingly having a conversation without speaking.

“I mean, I’d say we’re a bit more than just friends,” you admitted, smiling at Spencer. He kissed the top of your head.

“Damn, I owe JJ 10 bucks,” Derek muttered before saying, “But seriously, I’m happy for you two. It’s about time you realized you were perfect for each other.”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #bau x reader #em's fics

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