#preferably by him

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ???? #and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?'' #NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY??? #and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often'' #the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing'' #and he's like ''SWEET?????'' #so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

[tahliavellan]

So there's one Astarion debate I haven't put my two cents in yet, and that's changing today guys. Buckle up.

Astarion's eyes are either green with golden flecks or blue with golden flecks. I'll tell you why.

Astarion is a high elf. High elves have 4 subraces. Of the 4 subraces, 2 have the possibility to have silver hair like his. Those two races are moon elf and star elf. From there we can narrow by personality.

Moon elf personality description: Impulsive, with a strong distaste for complacency.

Star elf personality description: Aloof and cautious.

Now, I love Astarion, but he's not aloof. That man cares too much. So personality wise that narrows to moon elf.

Moon elves have one of two eye colors: green with golden flecks or blue with golden flecks. So Astarion's eyes looked like one of these two:

#astarion #eyes #figured this out a while ago and just realized i never made a post about it and people still debate this #my preference is for the blue btw #i just think it looks better on him than the green

[irn-bru]

my genuine reaction watching batman beat the ever loving fuck out of Jason in under the red hood when the only other batfam media I know is wayne family adventures

#im aware wfa is fanmade but like. i had severe delusions of bruce's ability as a dad #he threw him face first against all four walls and then the TOILET. die you bitch!!! #lego batman wouldnt have done this #im trying to get into more dc especially batman/batfam. im not really into comics and i prefer animation #but if anyone wants to send some recs my way id really appreciate it. especially some where bruce is nice!! #jason todd #red hood #batman #under the red hood #dc #beth.txt

[chloesimaginationthings]

Jeremy Fitzgerald’s reaction to FNAF scooped Michael

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #fnaf #jeremy fitzgerald #michael afton #mike schmidt #fnaf 2 #sister location #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #Jeremy lacks fear for better or for worse #the sight of Michael didn’t scare him he just thought he was cool af #THIS IS HOW you know Jeremy is a true homie!! #he stuck around even if his friend became the undead !! #Jeremy is a real one 🩵 #Michael is genuinely baffled by Jeremy’s reaction #especially seeing his situation but honestly he prefers this #he rather feel normal than be pitied or even feared #if nobody has Michael Jeremy has Michael 💜

[thestarofcottonland]

Pocket Dogs for Gameboy Advance

#this was about him giving up on becoming a police dog so actually epic win #im sure you are in fact happier being unemployed in my house. id certainly prefer that life #pocket dogs #gba

[ryssbelle]

Brozone reunion concepts for this little thing based on this ask

As stated in the ask idk fully how this moment would go, this concept was mostly building off the premise presented within the ask :D

Bonus:

#my art #trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls 3 #trolls au #n2 au #trolls john dory #trolls clay #trolls poppy #trolls branch #trolls bruce #trolls floyd #brozone #look at them so silly #in the original script i had accidentally wrote John calling Bruce by his preferred name and i was like #he dont know it yet smh #and had to change it back to spruce #which is where the line 'its bruce but imma let it slide' #comes from #i dont think John in the movie and within this purposefully misnames him #i think its just like a force of habit #and its just harder for him to realize hes saying it wrong until hes corrected #cuz you see he doesnt really get mad when corrected he just gets confused the first time #and then just keeps forgetting after #which i think also was from his mindset of #'im the oldest im not allowed to change' so its like #his brains blocking out the change of spruce to bruce #this is unrelated to the comic as a whole it was just the on the spot thoughts i had while typing #but yeah #itd be a touching reunion for sure!

[nobie]

#BRING HIM BACK SAFELY PREFERABLY PLSSSSS #SO HE CAN LIVE OUT HIS DESERT HUSBAND FANTASY IN S2 OF OWK #star wars #commander cody #star wars memes #nobie does stuff #forgot to post this after infiltration and execration #CUZ I MISS HIM SO DAMN MUCH #BESTIE COME HOME #tcw #cody #meme

[ew-selfish-art]

DPx DC AU: Danny learns that he can change his summoning ritual and decides to go chaos mode with it i.e. A viral tiktok trend.

Danny ascends the throne and it's honestly pretty alright as far as new jobs go. He states a few opinions, makes sure no one goes to war and is slowly integrating a community service sentence to Walker's prison. It's not a bad gig, and considering the troves of gold he's now owner of, it doesn't pay too shabby either.

His main problem with the job isn't even his constituents (he likes to think they would vote for him over pariah), it's all these loony death cults! They keep summoning him with Pariah's old cold sign and it's driving him insane- After a very unhelpful smirk by CW, a long study session in GW's library and some help from Ember (she knows drama like no one else) Danny finally has a new summoning ritual.

Of course he swapped out the blood and bone for like, sour gummies and random shit he had in his backpack at the time. A TI-84. And yes, the Latin chant is that one super-fast bit of Rap God preformed to a BTS dance at speed.

But rather than keep this to himself, he gets Sam (who has a thriving plant and protest community following) to record her completing this ritual and Danny being summoned. Why? Cause it was a very specific to Sam skill that they didn't know if people could replicate and it gives Danny some plausible deniability that he tried to make it difficult when CW asks.

Posting it makes it very quickly go viral as people attempt to call it fraudulent but sure enough, Danny is now traveling the world at a moments notice.

Which is great cause it's summer and he's bored in Amity anyway (He's going to change it before he starts university in September, duh), and its even better because the second a lame ass death cult brings him forward to, like, destroy the planet, a slumber party or influencer has already summoned him away. Shit, he even met a few celebrities this way! Plus, turns out that most death cultists aren't able to rap!

Reality hit him pretty hard when he got summoned to an office space that is clearly a base of operations and the summoning spell locked him in. Literally, he has no idea how to get out of this binding spell- Danny definitely hadn't realized that was an option. Taking in the Justice League members in front of him, plus one trench coated menace, Danny groaned for a moment before thinking to ask:

"Wait- Which one of you was able to do Rap God? And the dance? Please tell me someone thought to film that!!"

#dcxdp #dpxdc #danny phantom #dc x dp #dp x dc #dc crossover #dp crossover #summoning au #ghost king danny au #Danny: Fine instead of waiting to be summoned at random ill just be summoned all the time everywhere #Danny: I will go zero to one hundred because fuck it we ball #Sam is very talented in this and i will not explain #pick ur fave hero for the performance lmao but you lose points if you pick a side kick/ younger hero #also thinking about this as the john constantine method like going from a whole soul to sooo many pieces #Danny denies starting the viral trend when they interrogate him but he doesnt deny preferring this to boredom

[lamina-tsrif]

SEA MOON SEE YOU

#og art #one piece #sanji #blackleg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #IM NEVER TOUCHING THIS CANCVAS EVER AGAIN #GOD. WHY DID I DO THAT. #HOWEVER. ITS CHOPPERS BIRTHDAY SOON. I HAVE TO MAKE PREPARATIONS #PREFERABLY LESS COMPLICATED THAN THIS SHIT #HAVE YOU FUCKING HEARD THIS SONG. HAVE YOU REALLY #IT HAUNTS ME. HE WAS JUST A LITTLE GUY. #I WANT TO HOLD HIM LIKE A COOL ROCK #HE WAS SO LITTLE….. WHY IS THE WORLD SHIT……..

[hugs-and-stabbies]

[ Part 1 / 6 ] A sweet gesture from Vince?? 🤨🤨😳

I had a couple of Valentine's Day requests for Rody/Vincent :] So I'm making a short little comic for it! I'll be posting it in parts as I finish them ♥

[ link to part 2 ]

#dead plate #rody lamoree #vincent charbonneau #rody x vincent #rodince #? #rodent #?? 😂😂 #whatever ship name you prefer #dead plate fanart #edit: made some changes to the dialogue to include it being Rody's birthday! #i didnt know his birthday was on valentine's! it fits him hahah

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Batman: Crime is abnormaly quiet today, one more round and we should go home, chum.

Robin (Jason): A-Okay. I may even have time to read a bit before going to bed.

Batman: I'll think about it.

Robin: We could go to Bat Burguer! Di-Nightwing said they have an amazing chocolate milkshake.

Batman: I don't know, Robin...

Robin: I'm sure they have banana milkshake as well or something fruity.

Batman: Hm

Robin: I knew it!

Batman: Hm??

Robin: You are a fruit bat.

Batman: what?

Robin: I was reading a book about animals and they say that of the 1200 known species of bats only three are vampire bats. You are too normal to be a vampire bat. Also vampire bats are smaller and you are very big and vampire bats move solo and while you like to prented to be moody and lonley you have me, Agent A, Batgirl and Nightwing and that just in Gotham. So you are a fruit bat. And you love fruity things.

Batman: *smilling* I suppose.

Robin: And that means we are going to drink the milkshakes because you can't refuse fruit things!

Batman: Because I'm a fruit bat.

Robin: Yeah!!

----- [somewhere in the future] ----

Robin (Damain): I'm the son of Batman, I'll drink your blood, Hood.

Red Hood: Nah, B's totally a fruit bat and as the "blood son" that just means you like banana milkshake, sorry demon brat.

Batman: *in the background, accidentaly listens* *happy hm*

#jason todd #red hood #robin #can you tell I prefer jason as robin and feel sad dc stoled it from me? #i wanna know who he would be without the trauma and the pit #bruce wayne #batman #damian wayne #batfam #bruce wayne is a good dad #at least in my head he is in cannon is complicated #fluffy #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #also yes baby jay implied bruce was to mid to be a rare type of bat #it was first a reference to him not having powers but i coudn't resist a light you're too normie

[landoffreaksandfrogs]

you could never understand the warriors bond between a lesbian and her IT guy

#homestuck #homestuck art #kanaya maryam #karkat vantas #sollux captor #lofaf art #im sorry this is suchhhhh a mean comic for karkat because he adores kanaya #but its also really funny to me to imagine him being fucking destroyed by kanaya. slightly preferring sollux. #solluxs rizz is insane

[tezzbot]

I really like the headcanon that a very select amount of people are allowed to actually call Tails 'Miles' and Shadow is on that list, it's very cute to me ^_^

#sth #shadow the hedgehog #miles tails prower #sonic the hedgehog #mydoodles #accidentally left this sitting in the drafts lol whoops #that sonic in the top right is my favourite sonic I've drawn so far tbh #I meant to put a table behind them in that second “panel” but whatever lol implied table #Blaze is another who Tails is fine with using Miles for him because she preferred to not use the nickname until she felt close enough to hi #that she like felt it was acceptable hehe #princess etiquette brain #anyway shout out to people who draw shadows bike I'm certainly never doing it again LOL #to be fair I did not use reference.. I simply did my best

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Young Old Things

I like the thought of a deaged Dan causing a misunderstanding between Danny, Vlad, and the batfam.

TW: sexual assault hinted at

....

Danny, Dan, and Ellie go to see Jazz in Gotham. They've been waiting to "visit" her for weeks since she moved out. Only waiting for her to get a big enough place for all of them. Danny already said he'd share a room with Ellie and Dan, especially now that they found out if she is her true age she'll start to stabilize more permanently with Danny's ecto. Plus, having Dan be the same size helps, or so she says (he might be desperate for a new family and Ellie is trying to help, Danny and Jazz never bring it up in front of him).

The Fenton parents don't know about Danny being Phantom, instead believing that some big ghostly event caused Danny to have a ghost daughter.

And that he tried to clone himself mixed with a ghost to use that body to stabilize her. They may be proud of their scientist son, they are not proud that he won't let them experiment on his ghostly "creations".

Of course they are entirely wrong:

Ellie is one of Vlads' attempts to clone him, the only one that survived.

And Dan is an amalgamation of Danny and Vlad from an alternate timeline. He doesn't know why he's keeping that from his parents. He owes nothing to that scumbag, but Jazz says many victims try to keep their abusers safe from facing consequences. Before Dan was deaged, and much before he met the Fenton parents, he'd pointed out that he'd be scared who his parents would have chosen to believe too.

Jazz gets a full ride scholarship with Gotham U, the Wayne's new massive donation to the psychology department, as well as her well written letter about being the head of her home, helped immensely.

She felt bad using a slightly blurred version of their story to get a good scholarship, but Danny pushed her to go for it.

Hence her, Danny and his 3 year old "twins" were at a gala for the university.

It was being held in the museum after closing hours. The invitation she got had specified that her brother was invited, each with a plus one.

They couldn't exactly get a babysitter for two super-powered toddlers in the city known for hating metas. Besides it wasn't like they had time to get dates anyway.

The night started out fine. There were scholarship students, student council members, some Gotham U staff, and a few rich folk mingling and eating tiny foods that both Ellie and Dan adored.

Ellie fell asleep in Danny's arms almost the second she'd finished eating, and Dan was overly protective of the both of them as always. Of course the dense crowd and constant noise wasn't helping calm him down.

A Wayne, he wasn't sure which one exactly, had brought Danny a plate of food and sat with him as he tried to distract Dan. At first Dan didn't care for him at all, but he mentioned reading about the constellation on Dan's shirt and he loosened up. He never let go of Danny's pant leg though.

The night turned sour when all three's ghost sense went off. There was no immediate threat, but even the Wayne kid noticed them tense and turned to the hallway.

Dan was the first to spot him. "Vad."

"Bad?" The man mimicked.

"He has trouble with his Ls."

"No! I can say Ellie." Dan huffed, poking the side of her sparkly green shoe.

"Vlad, the guy that walked in." Danny said, decidedly looking down into his daughter's sleeping face, squished into his shirt and drooling.

"Vladimir Masters?"

He nodded, before he could continue however Dan spoke up.

"He is bad. He's the reason I was born. And Ellie too." Dan put himself in front of Danny, his little legs going over Danny's feet like a guard dog.

He could see the Wayne's hands tighten into fists, he tapped the inside of his wrist a bit and watched as he squirmed in his seat.

"Hey, Tim." Another dark haired light eyed Wayne and a girl came up to them. "Who's this?"

"Danny, these are my sibilings. Dick and Cass. Guys, this is Danny."

"Hi, nice to meet you Danny. I'd shake your hand but it looks busy." He gestured towards Ellie. As his hand swept nearer, Dan tried to swipe it away. "Oh, and who's this."

"I'm Dan. You can't touch Mommy." His little face contorted into his best toddler attempt at scaring them off.

"I would never do that. No one here would." Dick said as he crouched down to be eye level with his son.

"He would." Dan pointed at Vlad, all three turned to look at the man. Before anyone else noticed, specifically Vlad himself, Danny pushed his arm down.

"Don't point, it's rude."

"He's a rude butt." Danny laughed softly and Dan continued. "It doesn't mater that I'm half of him, I'll never be evil like him." He yawned and laid his face on Danny's leg.

"I think that's enough signs that we should head home. Thank you for talking with me, Tim."

"No problem, it was m-"

Dan grabbed around Danny's legs and whined "I don't wanna gooOOOooo. I want more of the tiny hot dogs."

Danny looked up to see Vlad infront of the food table. The Wayne sibilings followed his gaze "I'm sorry buddy, but-"

Tim stood up, "I'll get you guys a whole mountain of the tiny hot dogs. Why don't you guys wait for me at the door." Ever so softly he heard Tim whisper, "Go with them." To his brother.

"Where are your things? I'll help you get ready." Dick looked around like he didn't know where the coat closet was. He'd probably been to events like this hundreds of times, but Danny appreciated the sentiment.

"Their stroller is at the entrance, I have to get my sister though."

The girl who hadn't said a word hummed and went off, "Cass can find her, I'll help you and we can meet at the entrance."

"Alright, thank you."

It wasn't until they had both kids in the stroller with their coats on and Dan had a bottle of milk (with a lot of ectoplasm in it) that Danny realized he'd never mentioned who his sister was.

Dick waved towrds the end of the hall and saw his sister and the two Waynes he'd met walking with Brucie Wayne himself.

Jazz looked down and pat Cass' hand. "Thank you for getting me."

"Danger." Her voice was soft, but she didn't seem shy like he had expected.

"All four of you seemed to get along well with my kids. Would you like to come by for dinner next week?" Brucie asked as he looked between the four of them.

"I'd love to!" Jazz said enthusiastically. "Would Tuesday ight work?"

Danny could see the gears start to speed up in her head and he huffed a little. "Jazz, I need to get them in bed."

"Right, of course. Thank you again, for everything."

"Tuesday night works perfectly," Brucie Wayne said with a massive smile on his face, "we'll send someone to pick you up. Have a good night."

With that they walked down the ramp and down a few blocks to their two bed room apartment.

"Jazz," She looked over to Danny, "I think they know more than they are letting on."

She lent over the stroller a bit to check if the kids were asleep, before adding, "I agree, I think there is something up with them, but I don't think they're bad."

"Dan was okay with them mostly, and Ellie was fast asleep even with then around."

"I guess we'll just have to find out, then. Besides, it would be good for you to make friends your age and not at the car shop."

"Yeah, alright."

#dpxdc #writing #deaged Dan #deaged ellie #deaged dani #i prefer ellie using a name thats a little different #like to show she isnt just a clone #maybe one day Dan will do the same #but he has so much he has to work through and i want to see him get to live a happy life #he was created at the worst moment of both Danny's and Vlad's existence #even if he has some memories of what a family was like through Danny. i dont think he sees those memories as entirely his own #mom danny

[chez-cinnamon]

AUGHH The site update was sooooo good- It motivated me to finish something I've been wanting to do for a while now: tweak and redesign the RW AU designs!!

Looking at the old one it's crazy to see how far they've come, being around before the Halloween update-- idk it's fun to see, same w my art style changes!! <3

Linking the old just for comparison,,,,,

#welcome home #welcome home au #real world au #wally darling #barnaby b beagle #julie joyful #frank frankly #eddie dear #howdy pillar #sally starlet #poppy partridge #these versions feel much fresher ngl.... #i mean I didn't even change much w sally julie frank and eddie #wally only really got some paint splatters on him..... #howdy felt a bit naked so i gave him a lil cardigan to keep him warm!! #also matching fionn with that... #frank too... #i really hated barnaby's old outfit i HAD to change it- #I like it so much more!!! #Poppy didn't change but I do prefer her pose in the old one tho...

[jicklet]

Ember and Wade in Elemental (2023)

#elemental #pixar #elemental movie #ember x wade #animationedit #pixaredit #filmedit #elementaledit #v posts things #v watches elemental #i want to gif this movie so bad but all i've got to work with are random promo clips #anyways i love them ahahaaa #emotional sillyboy x cranky failgirl is a precision strike to my ship preferences #dig yourself deeper Wade #i love the look on his face as it slowly dawns on him #also just. all the cool little things they do with the animation #ember flaring brighter when she's pissed #wade starting to sweat as he panics and melting when he's miserable #and how his hair is constantly cresting like little waves? #so fun. i just love it