#posting so no one else has a breakdown

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

#makoto naegi #Danganronpa character analysis #Danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa future arc #I fucking love Makoto Naegi man. #I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known #he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said #he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky #he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did #if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world. #he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done #and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend. #I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though #post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do #it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to #and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc #he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions #I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse #and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate #and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable. #honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually #I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself #that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels #it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it #it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic #anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for #the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!

[lovesickeros]

Hiii just popping out to say thank you for feeding my sagau reader x furina brainroot by small interactions in "Even the Gods bleed." (Sorry if I wrote it incorrectly, I didn't get proper sleep.)

They way reader tugged at Furina's cheek— hell yeah your Grace I understand you.

i am always down to feed other furina enjoyers. at some point i need to give furi her own solo fic with reader but i know im gonna make it like triple the length of everything else..favoritism at its finest!! and proud of it. furina gets priority in everything.

#asks #anon #stares at my pending package. i bought a $55 furina plush i am Dedicated #if no one else got me i know i do. self indulgent furina/reader is my new specialty #i think abt pre/post archon quest furina all the time like #pre aq shes still very bubbly and dramatic but internally her anxiety is 10x WORSE bc now she has to compete #with ACTUAL archons on earning your favor and shes probably had 16 breakdowns in the span of 3 days over it #please give her a hug and reassure her she is like a cat w seperation anxiety sitting at the door waiting for u to come home #post aq shes a lot more mellowed out but also. once again. worse!!!! #because now she cant even say shes the hydro archon and have an excuse to be allowed to see you whenever she wants #shes just. a human now. so she kinda resigns herself to just never getting to see you again except maybe in passing #once again Please Give Her A Hug SHE DESERVES IT 💔 #sorry i ranted too much um. runs. #never ask me abt furina sagau i think abt it too much #dont know if ill be continuing the series unfortunately so no more furina on that front uhh. oops.

[piplupod]

my method of "getting better" has just been Do Everything Possible and latch onto whatever gives you any sense of purpose and/or joy. and i guess it's been working because i am definitely not in quite the same place that i was a few yrs ago

#like i have tried so many things #any opportunity for trying a thing that is supposed to be helpful is met with ''yeah sure why not'' #counselors love me for it LMFAO #''its impressive that you're willing to try these things :)'' girl if i dont then I'll kill myself. it's not gonna hurt me to try #if it goes badly then i have a breakdown and maybe hurt myself but then i immediately move onto the next thing #and i can always draw shitty art. thats always there for me. i can rotate my OCs in my brain. i can watch a show or listen to a podcast #those are always available if nothing else works out #and maybe it helps that i have a deadline of ''if life is still intolerable by x time then you can kill urself'' dhfjdkl #operating by that makes me want to put in more effort bc theres a time limit #also doing all these things has given me a sense of identity outside of having irl ppl around me #i couldnt control that for a long time (very very very lucky to have joined the old lady group recently) so i had to make do #and it is hard and it is scary and it is very often nearly unbearably lonely. but when u throw urself headfirst into ur own stuff #then u don't focus so much on the Aloneness of it all. and also u get to post abt ur hobbies and stuff and make friends online that way #idk !!! it is a hard spot to pull urself out of but taking a single step at a time is incredibly helpful #trying things and doing things and keeping on trucking gets u thru it one way or another #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #suicide mention

[petz5]

grabs him by the scruff of his neck like a kitten

#ranma 1/2 #not putting this in my art tag i just wanted to post Something #U EVER THINK ABT HOW HIS MASSIVE EGO IS TOTALLY FOR SHOW #like def the result of genma telling him hes the best martial artist in the world one moment then that he's a disappointment the next #and how ranmas secretly terrified ppl will notice hes only good at one thing and then will see how worthless he rlly is and abandon him #(im not saying hes worthless i just mean from his perspective) #and thats why he has a total breakdown in the moxibustion arc bc hes CONVINCED if he cant do martial arts then no one will want him around #its also why its so important that even tho she cant think of anything else he's good at akane still tells him to stay or at least #let her go with him #bc she values him bc hes a person and she enjoys spending time w him. its not abt what he can bring to the table or whatever #what he brings to the table is his kindness and humor and care for others around him!! #anyway that arc doesnt cure his ego by a longshot but it did open the door for him to trust akane way more and share his insecurities #the other half (lol) of this convo could totally be abt desperately trying to live up to being a Manly Masculine Man #but 99% of the time he expresses genuine confidence in himself and not just his abilities its in girl form #i already made a post abt that a while ago #ANYWAY SORRY FOR THE FUCKING ESSAY

[wild-at-mind]

Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.

#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me #i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu #to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately. #i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked #but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago #so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer #and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones' #who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get #she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is #that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist #i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry) #and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because #i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'( #like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy #of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with #i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless #but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it

[winter-spark]

I notice that even though Citron's my fave, I spend more time here talking about Orange and Navel.

I think it's fear of being wrong.

#I can say with upmost confidence that everything I say about Orange and Navel is accurate #that's a joke but I do feel like I can say “whatever I want” and not feel like I'll be horribly wrong about it #I've even discussed with myself why if it turned out Orange and Navel were actually born the same year as Citron it'd still make sense #that's not my fave age breakdown but if someone else or the game said they were I'd be like a'ight that's fine I guess #I don't want to say something wrong/inaccurate about Citron tho because the thing is that no matter where I go I'm the odd one out somehow #and I don't want to know what I think on Citron might be wrong I love him and so I'm extra sensitive there #I even have a whole partial joke post that no one reacted to (okay it's a ship post but he's half the ship so...) #that shows me no one agrees with me so I should keep to myself #also tho Orange and Navel are just easier to come up with headcanons for lol #But like like like when I write Citron he's actually the least independent to himself brother if that makes sense #(I'm not sure it does... it's explained better a couple tags down but I'm not saying he doesn't have his own interests #but rather some of his interests/opinions are somewhat influenced by his brothers & he's like that the most out of the four of them) #I mean I haven't written enough Tangerine to compare him here so he might be more but then again he's very opinionated and sure of things #so who can say yet #(I say as if I've written any of them much at all. Genuinely this might not be an entirely fair comparison but still.) #Citron & his brothers #as for how I write Citron he like like has approximate knowledge & mild interest in certain things bcuz he knows his brothers are into them #which is kinda the reverse of SenriMono huh? #but to me it makes sense for Citron because he doesn't want to be fighting with his brothers he wants to be on good terms with them #so I think in the back of his mind he takes interests in things and has thoughts like: 'maybe I can talk to them about these things one day #or 'if there's a point when we're not fighting I'll ask ____ about ___' #you know? #these tags are too long #sorry for rambling #I legit could've just made a separate post with them #but then I'd be putting my thoughts on Citron on display and that'd be scary so I won't move them #I'm almost certain no one reads my tags anyway #still. sorry to the person who actually does and had to read through all this #idk why you didn't stop but I appreciate you regardless :3 #by the way did you know there was a 30 tags tag limit? I just found out lol

[loungesinger-shimmer]

one of my bosses got me a norovirus exposure for my bday and the other got me a mental breakdown 🫠🙃

#fortunately the exposure did not result in me actually contracting norovirus..... its been 48 hours ya girl beat the case #however the mental breakdown was very much real #how do people actually get the courage to assertively and respectfully address someone and tell them when theyve hurt their feelings #like i go SO FAR ABOVE what literally anyone else in my job does #i literally went home after my birthday dinner and did a bunch of the work i missed during the day #because i was worried norovirus would kill me off and id leave him hanging #and i couldnt have done anything the day before because the modelling presentation i was prepping didnt exist yet #and he called me like 9 times today picking at everything i did and finding fault with the smallest things #and basically implied that it was my fault the presentation wasnt the way he wanted it to be and very condescendingly telling me #that it needs to be right because hes pressed for time #like bro youre the one who assigned a 5 day project to the analysts a day before you needed it #the corporate world since the dawn of fucking time: *rewards going above and beyond the same as the bare minimum* #me every time that happens to me for some reason: 🤯🤧😮‍💨😭 #this has been clown posting with mallory have a good night! happy belated birthday to me

[mothbug]

you show me a tarot card at this point and i WILL go ‘oh like [revue starlight character]!’ they should never have done this to me

#revstar #arcana arcadia ruined my life some may say it ruins my life to this day #i am thinking about it always always. revstar in general i am always thinking about. #if i posted as much abt revstar as i think. well you would all know everything about stella and shiro #(threat) #let me tell you more about how they (in a franchise where it’s directly stated that the characters are trading their youths for theater) are #the ones who have lost their youths the most tragically because they never had a choice. #and have never really been friends as equals but are probably still the closer to each other than anyone else. #not even about aa . this is just . #like let me tell you about this shot where everyone else is interacting with stella as friends #and shiro just has #her hands behind her back. let me tell you about - #and i’m STILL a seisho girl at heart they’ve just been on the mind #like DUUUDE we haven’t even seen who shiro really is without all the BULLSHIT on her shoulders just little glimpses… SHES ONLY 14.. #and stella. well she is haunted by trauma apparitions very literally. and this is only AFTER the expectations of her family cause her to hav #an onstage breakdown and consider herself a failure #and her family have literally basically called her a disappointment iirc??????? get her OUT OF THERE!!!!!! #could talk about the symbolism with all of the second wave siegfeld characters for HOURS #they’re based on extinct animals that’s literally the thing i’m autistic about #ranting in tags so no one has to wade through all the posts i want to make #so funny this post is abt as and i didn’t even talk abt it… i promise i have just as many thoughts about it

[templeofshame]

.

#it's been a while since i was actively reading phan #but i feel kinda bad for writers when i see people talking like how did no one already write dan's DINO AU #like of course no one's gonna write the exact same thing as anyone else #but i've read AUs where dan is a closeted lawyer #and ones where he has a long-term girlfriend #lots of ones where he has a breakdown #and obviously dan didn't tell us how phil factors in so it's harder to map onto any fic #is there fic about dan having a breakdown when he turns 30? i mean i can't believe there isn't #it's such a classic trope #idk i just wish all the writers who wrote something similar and are seeing all the omg dan's idea is so fresh posts #a very good day and you are not forgotten

[nickywhoisi]

so it looks like I sort of lost a&w but won a krispy kreme when it comes to device wifi and recharging, thank the allmighty for guest service *pray emoji because am not on phone*

#I still am mixed up inside #the continual mind/sanity destruction of not feeling safe outside with horribly causational people who make things harder for me #while I am already on rock fucking bottom on the society echeladder? how? entitled does a human have to be? #and BUGS #I cannot begin to process how hard this has been #but just now I have fixed my isolation by finding the good places to be and I can post and share #feel connected and not trapped in loneliness town #I honestly thought I had to post that craigslist ad and then nothing else for a while...I'd be really stuck #but turns out no! #I do still need eons of help as the craigslist ad describes #but keeping my internet and videogames going is really keeping me going #gypsy diary #but really the bugs have sent me way beyond the edge...and I just seriously cannot live like this anymore #I'm so sorry followers it seems like I always have something seriously awful going on and I worry that I'm alarming people #but right when I need to be met the most and get helped instead of dismay...so I hope y'all will be as patient as saints with me #I think over the years I've noticed a pattern #when one like myself flip flops between happy bursts and blubbering breakdowns but is otherwise consistent in everything #that is a sign of someone desperately reaching out for any connection or help #I'm not only talking about me I've seen some of y'all posts with all sorts of self-deprecation #and the details of what's said says so much about where your mind is at #tldr before I get into rambling #pay no mind to my less than positive words #please try to help me or anyone else who needs it by studying what the words are...what they mean or what's being conveyed #the truth hides in plain sight sometimes #my old zoomerllenial advice or whatever #ramble brambles

[seventh-district]

man. grief really sneaks up on ya at the most random times

#Seven's Public Diary #grief #cw grief #vent #cw vent #vent post #cw vent post #cw death #cw pet death #cw pet loss #one minute ur folding laundry and the next ur sobbing over a dog that’s been dead for nearly 10 years #and the one that’s been dead for 9. and the one that's been dead for almost 5. and the cat that’s been dead for almost 3. #and the list goes on. once i start crying about one of them i start crying abt all of them #but it always starts with her. she’s always the first in my mind when something reminds me of dead pets #something. happened to my brain. when i lost her. i don’t think anything else has ever fucked me up so badly #which is saying a lot given that i’ve lost actual human family. i feel kinda bad admitting it bc like. how do u say that a pet’s death- #-hurt you more than a persons. how do u say that and not sound Wrong. i dunno #a number of factors all came together to combine into such an awful experience with losing her specifically.. that it just. was different. #kinda insane how it’ll be a decade this year and the impact of her death on me and my development is as profound as ever #losing her shaped several core parts of who i am now #at least she’s still with me in that sense. for better or for worse. #anyways. it’s not a complete mystery why it suddenly hit me. but it’s still wild how much grief hurts when it comes back to the surface #the combination of my Very late period finally being about to start aka Hormone Storm currently happening #plus randomly hearing The House That Built Me for the first time in ages… was more than enough to do me in #it’s been many months it feels.. since my last breakdown over it. so i was due for another round of remembering and lamenting i suppose #i feel better now tho. or no not Better. just emptier. good empty i guess #i’m also very hungry now though. so that's enough venting abt it. #it’s time for food and sleep now

[eldritch-nightmare]

some updates uhm. i finished up cody's valentine's day prompt!! i haven't started on bo's or carmina's but hopefully i cant get started on one of them tomorrow if the universe will permit it.

#archived mind of v: thoughts and opinions. #idk if i wanna post cody's tonight or not #today has. not been a good day. #i'm gonna get so serious right now so if you don't want to read that just stop looking at the tags but #things have been happening irl since last year that have made me #less than okay and today has really just #reminded me that i am not in the best situation and it's just #i write mostly as a coping mechanism more than anything else but #writing just seems so hard to do rn with everything going on #it makes me feel bad for finding comfort in it #so it might take a moment or two for me to like. work on bo's nd carmina's prompts #just give me a few days to recover #i already had one breakdown tonight so im trying to keep myself from having another #i'll try posting cody's prompt in the morning #sorry for continuously making promises and failing to come through on them #but thanks for being patient. i love you all

[camping-with-monsters]

In regards to that video on Twitter, of all places, making rounds about an autistic boy’s violent meltdown about not getting something he wants. Props to the mom for showing she actually has a little bit of knowledge of what to do in this situation! Also, she’s a fucking disgusting human being for actively making a TikTok (let me say that again so you’ll understand. A TIKTOK. You know, the place that has a negative reputation for a reason.) displaying her child’s meltdown to the world! In what fucking universe does a parent see their child having a full blown meltdown and say “oh, looks like my child is having a meltdown again. Let me just pull my phone out and record my autistic kid’s reaction for the world to see!” Like literally fuck you for doing that. What was probably your attempt to “spread awareness” has turned into a threshold for demonizing and public humiliation! Have you not seen the comments people are leaving on this video? How many times it’s been shared and twisted to make you out to be the “victim”? That’s cause that’s all the fucking video did! You posted a video of your autistic son choking you out during a meltdown because you just wanted to remind the world “being an autism mom is soooooo haarrrrdddd” literally for fuck’s sake woman. Be for real. The only one who needs to be put in a zoo is your birdbrained ass for exploiting your child’s reaction to not getting what they want! My apologies that your alien overlords didn’t give you the fucking human decency guide before dropping you on planet earth!

Autism moms who brag about being autism moms are the scum under my shoe. Nefarious sons of bitches I tell you. There’s a special crib in hell for crybaby autism moms who play victim.

#// ableism #// exploitation #tw abelism #The Kiwi Speaks #for reference: an autism mom isn’t a mom who has an autistic child #an “autism mom” is a mom who turns their autistic child’s autism into a way to garner her own sympathy for “““having it harder than most””” #she will claim she is a “fighter” as if her child’s autism is something to be fought against. #just so we’re clear #I stand by what I say. recording your child having a breakdown is pretty damn close to demonic #THE GALL PEOPLE HAVE BRO #HOW THE FUCK HAS NO ONE I’VE SEEN SAID THIS #IT MAKES ME FUCKING SICK TO MY STOMACH #and she posted it to TIKTOK bro. #I just know for a damn FACT she posted to tiktok to get traction #why tf else would she post there bro #some of the comments people are leaving on that man #and you wonder what fuels peoole to be so sickeningly ablelist. #cause fun fact. it’s not your “spread of awareness” #she had it right and then clicked the record button 💀 #in no world will I ever sympathize with an individual who records an autistic’s meltdown for whatever reason #autism awareness #autism #may potentially delete later I don’t know

[spring-ephemeral]

I don't think there's been a single creative project I've made meaningful progress on unless I was downright forced to by a strict deadline of the "this will ruin your life" sort for... I don't even know. Months? Years? If you want to be strict with the definition, then maybe my entire life. I guess precisely because I was always able to push through if these aforementioned deadlines got involved, no one ever noticed, including the people who really were supposed to (mom, teachers), but now I'm getting to a point where it's just getting out of control. Too many people expecting something of me. Me expecting too many things of myself. Me having to push back too many deadlines and promises until no one trusts me to reliably do anything anymore, and people clearly resenting me at least a little for it even if they try not to show it.

If I turn out to be mistaken about this and this isn't all something that can be relatively easily treated medically, then I just genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I've had enough of the endless fucking platitudes and advice by people who simply Do Not Fucking Understand that I'm not doing this for fun and I hate myself for this shit much more than they could ever hate me for it. I'm going to try and get the fucking help I think I need and if it's all for nothing I'll just live the rest of my life only accomplishing things through life-ruining deadlines, surrounded by thousands of forgotten unfinished projects. Whatever. It's cool.

#I know trying to get a therapist isn't the cool anti-psych thing to do or whatever but none of the community advice has ever helped #and no one around me has ever helped. or even understood frankly #so what else is even left. I'll lie my ass off to any potential therapist to get meds if I have to idgaf #or maybe be painfully honest and just read this post out to them. Maybe leave out that last tag though. Lol #wish I could just do all this shit right now but I need an ID number for it that I won't have access to until mid January 😑😑😑😑😑😑 #mental breakdown o'clock

[arolesbianism]

Oh baby I've Kanoned unit swap Kohane even worse than than before how the hell am I supposed to explain this one without sounding like I'm losing my mind

#rat rambles #unit swap au #sekai posting #well I mean. I know the simple way to explain it #girlie has been dealing with rly bad insomnia for the past like 6 years and it's been ruining her life #but she never realized it wasnt normal so instead of doing like anything else she just gave herself a caffeine addiction #but yeah this ofc lead to very bad depression and worsened anxiety along with worsened physical health as well #so yeah her being more irritable is one of the many results of all of that #she doesn't outwardly express it super often but thats just her bottling it up and becoming more and more resentful of others #which ofc boils over and starts off the plot of their initial story as she goes radio silent and eventually snaps at an when confronted #which she immediately regrets and freaks out over for not the best reasons admittedly but its not like she doesnt care abt an #its complicated (and by that I mean mostly just bad but yknow mentally ill 13 year olds being online friends stuff) #things do get better for all involved but yeah kohane has to go through another bunch of breakdowns before akito finally convinced her to #consider the possibility that just maybe theres smth wrong with her health #once she fucking finally gets propper help and treatment things get much much better for her #but at the same time shes very much left in a state of oh god the past few years of my life sure went by and were like That #yknow that feeling when youve recovered enough to be able to grapple just how bad things used to be

[thecatspasta]

Inspired by @arrgh-whatever's post on helping ppl with BPD

Edit bc I forgot to add this: Being vulnerable means smth different for different ppl, something that could read as being vulnerable to you can read as just another Tuesday for someone else

[ID: a simply-drawn comic, narrated by a person coloured-in in pink.

Panel 1: The pink person narrates: "So there's a lot of "signs your ex is a narcissist and how to deal with them" and it's not very accurate. So here's how to actually "deal" with a narcissist from someone with narcissistic personality disorder."

Panel 2: This panel has the heading: "1. Supply." The pink person narrates: "People with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, and supply is what keeps us from having a mental breakdown. Supply can be many things, but often attention and praise are effective. Stuff like "Wow! That's super cool!!" can go a long way." A person is shown saying this to another person, who smiles.

Panel 3: This panel has the heading: "2. Criticism." The pink person narrates: "Oh boy. So narcissists take things as personal very easily. It's because if anyone contradicts our delusions that we have built our entire self-image on, it feels like you are attacking us as a person." There is an example shown, where one person says "hey, you were a bit too rude back there," but the other person hears "You're an awful dick no-one likes." The alternative manner of phrasing is suggested as "Hey, you were a bit too rude. You're cool, but some people took it poorly." The second person in this example thinks "I'm still a cool person. It's not my fault, but I can do things to be better." The narrator continues, "We don't really understand the concept of a harmless mistake."

Panel 4: This panel has the heading: "3. Boundaries." The pink person narrates: "With narcissists, setting down strict boundaries is very important. 1. Knowing we have hurt you because you didn't set down boundaries can really upset and annoy us because the delusions that we can do no wrong and know you best get broken. 2. If you let us break boundaries, it can lead us to see you as "weak" and devalue you. Communication is key."

Panel 5: This panel has the heading: "4. Anger." The pink person narrates: "So people with NPD tend to be prone to anger. This is a defense mechanism, because to us, it's either facing the inaccuracies of our delusions and having a mental breakdown, or blaming something else. We do not mean to lash out; we just don't have the skills to cope properly. You can help by: 1. Letting us express out emotions without judgement; 2. giving us praise or attention; and 3. Distracting us from what angered us." Each example of how to help is accompanied by a small cartoon.

Panel 6: This panel has the heading: "5. Other NPD things!" The pink person narrates: "'Love bomb, devalue, discard' is actually: we are genuinely obsessed with you and want you to recognize us as cool, we lose that obsession and move on, we feel threatened in some way and lash out. We can't really handle being seen as vulnerable. We take sympathy and empathy as pity and pity as you telling us we're weak. Not acknowledging we're being vulnerable and acting as if nothing is wrong can be helpful in these situations. People with NPD have a very warped view of reality. We do not mean to hurt you and often do not realise we have. Remember, this won't work for everyone, and talking is very important."

/end ID]

Ty to @aromanticsky for the id

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