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#positive and negative!!!!! like it isnt all bad!!!
foolsocracy · 9 months
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Peter B, trying to explain gay people: it’s—you know, like when two men or two women like each other—-
Noir, who grew up living above and working in a Bowery welfare center: Peter do you think I don’t know what a fairy is
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azurechicken · 10 months
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It always gets me how Justice did not change at all, like, he is not corrupted at all. It makes everything more tragic than it already is. The only thing that changed was his perception, which of course, naturally came due to the change of hosts. I'm mostly taking Awakening Justice into account and how he acts because that is where we can carefully observe him by himself, without Anders' influence on the matter. And his influence is everything on the point I am trying to make.
When we first meet Justice, he is fulfilling his nature of bringing justice to the people he thinks that need it. He is very outspoken about it, and is already ready to take action with or without Warden's help. For a supposedly peaceful spirit that Anders claims to have ruined with his anger, Justice is acting pretty angry here himself (This is not the only time either). This is one of the first things I want to point out that did not change much about the spirit. Justice was always fierce about his cause. However, what stands out to me in these scenes is when the witch calls him out on his idea of justice.
Justice, is that what you are calling it? What of their punishment, burning my house to the ground and with me in it?
Well, in this case, the witch is a demon and mocking Justice for funsies. But what she says actually gives a bit more insight about what kind of a spirit Justice is. The actions do not speak louder than intent to him, as long as it is within the lines he set for himself. In a way, he was always okay with a few… casualties in the name of justice. Even though it is as simple as burning down a house this time. Isn't violence for violence vengeance after all?
While we are on the topic of vengeance, let's not forget the way he is eager on avenging Kristoff, vowing to kill every darkspawn for his cause (I mean the way he literally calls it avenging is enough debate for some people but I want to continue). So how come wanting to take revenge on the offenders that wronged not only his host but many other people, is any different? How did this route did not take him to the road of vengeance but attacking the templars, who are also offenders that wronged his host and other people, is corrupting him?
The answer is of course, that it is not, it did not. There is no difference between those two for Justice, there is no difference between vengeance and justice. Punishing the ones who deserve it is all there is. There is no gray area for spirits the way there is in the mortal world, and we see this clearly in the way he judges Velanna and Nathaniel for their crimes. Despite what I said about him seeing intent before action, now he cannot see beyond their wrongs. This simply shows that if the intent is as clear as violence for violence, he understands. But he does not understand the gray area of Velanna mistaking the innocents as guilty, or Nathaniel taking back what used to be already his.
 
There might be none for Justice, but there is a difference between darkspawn and templars for mortals. For one, darkspawn are generally mindless, and has no moral compass for us to judge. Whereas templars are just people with different ideals about life, to put it kindly at least. (Which is worse, being a mindless cruel monster, or having the mind and morals to choose to be something else but going for being one anyway? Lol another discussion for another time). Templars are the gray area that Justice lacks the understanding of. When he vows to kill every templar like he did with the darkspawn, he does not suddenly turn into a demon, he is simply punishing the ones that were doing wrong, as he does.
From here we can say that spirits' judgments and mortal's don't exactly match up. Though, there is one idea that seems to match better than others, and that is corruption. As far as we learn from Justice, spirits do not know about corruption any better than we do. Spirit do bad, spirit go bad, right? So, when Justice starts to feel things that are associated with demons, such as envy, he starts to fear corruption. He says he does not want to learn how a demon feels, but he also states that he does see the wishful thinking of a demon wanting to cross the Veil for this world. He is conflicted at best about the whole thing. Still, he does not consider himself corrupted regardless. I think that the reason behind that is simply the fact that generally, the Warden can ease his worries when Justice confides in them. And that is another thing that says a bit about him. He seems to accept the lack of understanding he has in the world, and chooses to listen to someone who does. Though, not just a random anybody, someone he deemed just.
So, let's see. A fade spirit with identity issues and an anxious spirit healer walks into a bar…
When they merged and Justice accepted Anders' cause for himself, and when they went all crazy on the Templars, Anders was scared. He feared the worst immediately because he is taught the worst about possession. He knew that Justice was angry because of him and his ideals about mages. So he blamed himself, called it a corruption he caused. And as I mentioned, Justice is accepting of the fact that he has a lack of understanding of some things. Plus, he was already scared of corruption. So, when Anders, who is an educated mage about possessions and corruption claims that he is slowly corrupting the spirit, they held onto it.
Everyone in their life from this point on, do nothing but egg them on about it, on top of it all. They might not corrupt each other, but everyone else does by pushing them the idea that they are now an abomination. Anders starts to fear the nonexistent corruption more, and Justice is confusing the inability to just wipe all the bad out with sloth. We are talking about a being who comes from the Fade, which can be bent at will and a place of immediate action. This works well in Awakening because we are already fighting darkspawn nonstop, and we are in the middle of a war. But in Kirkwall? Everything requires planning and suspended ideals. Templars bring injustice everywhere they go, yet there is not much they can do. After many years of being held back, it is no wonder Justice is surfacing more and more, itching to fulfill his purpose. Because he was always outspoken, angry at the injustice in the world and eager to bring justice. He did not change, but Anders' morals and his' just did not align the way they thought it would. They forgot that in Justice, there was always a part that was vengeance.
At the end, Justice was one of the most stable parts of Anders' story. He couldn't count his vow in Awakening complete without reaching the root of the problem, which was the broodmother. And he could not do so in Kirkwall without getting rid of the Chantry. Because chantry is the root of the Templars, and being a bystander while you can help solve everything easily is unjust all the same.
Anders and Justice had the same cause, different morality and they were just confused because they didn't know any better.
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slocumjoe · 10 months
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You ever think about Shaun and Danse interacting and cry a lil bit
#theodoor (renamed synth shaun) struggles w/ being a copy of a contentious evil man#and being used as bait#and being taken in by that mans father as a pity child. not what was wanted but there anyway#and feels urges to act a certain way even after gus gets his ideal programming outta there#and resents basically everything and everyone involved in his existence#because he isnt just a lure. hes a doll. hes a toy made by a cruel and heartless man. made to be exactly like him#and every time he feels any negative emotion he feels like Shaun won and got his clone#every time he feels positive emotion he feels like a puppet carrying out Shauns wishes to be the ideal child#and DANSE eventually comes to terms with his nature/himself in general and gets better. and as he slowly starts entering a relationship#with gus he starts noticing /hey this kid is going through something similar/#/i suffered this but at least i was free to do as i wanted. teddy is a child & hes meant to be a specific child that he cannot possibly be/#and danse notices that teddy is squeamish around science because he wants to distance himself from shaun#so he takes him under his wing. /you wanna see how a laser works?/ and gets him to see that science is not a force of evil#but a tool to be used. Shaun used it for his ego but Danse uses it to protect the others. Isa uses it to heal the wasteland.#Curie uses science to save people and heal their pain. he shows him /you know better. so you wont become him. you literally couldn’t./#like. teddy has a lot of issues being put on the spot to be the missing boy come home. but not being that boy#and danse gets it. he had issues after building his existence on being a paladin and model soldier only to be the Enemy#he gets trying so hard and wanting so bad to be one thing or fully the other. not be in that awful middle ground where its all confusing#and danse figures out over time that the Institute made m797 but he - his choices and his experience - made Danse#and its the same for teddy. and the kid gets along better having someone who can closest understand what he feels#ss; alter#bc teddy is gus' kid so he goes in the tag
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freebooter4ever · 9 months
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how's the job hunt going? would you ever relocate for a job love?
Oh wow what a question lol! Honestly i dont expect to be able to find anything new till this strike is over, the competition is insane right now. In the meantime my plan is to teach myself faster hard surface sculpting in z*brush using hockey gear \o/ mostly because i dont want to pay the $150 a month for maya, that shits insane. Like a fucking health insurance payment.
For the second question - i dont think i've ever experienced love like that. I think it would take a lot of devotion and sacrifice to give up your dreams for someone else. Admirable, for sure. And also a sacrifice that historically women are the ones expected to make. Every time. :( For a job? Lol, i would move in a heartbeat. I stayed in pittsburgh 6 years after college for my dream job - i only left when i lost it. Knew the next dream job wasnt going to be there, so made my way to LA. And now im having to come to terms with the idea that the dream job doesnt exist as i imagined it - or only exists for a very VERY select few.
And actually, thats not totally true about me and love. I think if i thought for one second that nick could love me back like i diid him, id already be in new england. When i applied to this one job, that sounded like a dream come true it listed the salary, and brian and i just read it and gaped. We looked at each other and i was like i dont even know what the fuck i would DO with all that. And of course the first thing that popped into my mind was i could buy that sailboat nick always talked about. When i was writing my programming textbook a decade ago, and really going through it, and nick and i were up until 3 or 4am every night painting theater sets, he'd talk about his sailing adventures, teach me rope knots, that sort of thing, basically a mental escape. And so last week i texted him like 'hey no promises but what if im suddenly actually making good money. Do you still want that boat?' Because, nick's worked so long and so hard and all he's gotten to is the point of still working on boats other people own, and its just not fair how devalued physical labor is, you know? And his immediate reaction was to launch into our very old daydream - the whole 'yes and you're coming with me, sail off into the sunset' stuff. And that hadnt occured to me - my idea was just- id give him the boat, and he'd fix it up, and id maybe demand photos or a visit or two every so often. Because i think finally -finally- im at a point in my life where being in love isnt enough - i want the other person to love me back. And lol definitely not someone who declares love one minute and then stops talking to me for weeks or months, and the cycle repeats over and over. I think its possible to love someone enough that you recognize you arent the one for them, but still want them to be happy? Happier than you could make them.
So long answer is yes, i would relocate for love, but i have learned the hard way to know when i shouldn't.
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anti-transphobia · 8 months
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Forever annoyed that "don't speak over marginalized people", the notion that marginalized people are already spoken over, and their oppressors need to actually listen and learn before speaking about complicated topics and need to do so in support of not OVER them, so quickly turned into "I'm not x so I can't speak on x issues". Like the "don't speak on this if you're not this" started out so well meaning because it was about people needing to actually take the time to learn before talking about issues they didn't previously understand! Now it's just an excuse for people to never learn about the issues minorities face or to actually stand up for them in any meaningful way
#forming an opinion is so natural and also important. you can't just stay 'neutral' on everything just because marginalized groups arent#a collective that either fully agrees or fully disagrees with something#you will always have 'lol im x and i dont care about bigotry' folks. always. always always always#you've gotta use your god damned brain and do what's right instead of going 'im not allowed to have an opinion on this'#it's literally just looped around to ignoring issues again. like saying 'racism is bad' isnt good enough when you stay quiet#when your friend is being racist because they're a poc being racist to another poc#and that situation is too 'unclear' for you#ive seen that happen a ton. fucking get over it. yes they're going to respond negatively to being called racist literally everyone does#get over that fear of backlash and stick up for people!!!#this is why radqueers are a plague. their entire stance is 'we dont care enough to think so everything is good and okay'#and has done horrible shit like spread RAMPANT misinformation about mental disorders such as DID#which makes life so much harder for people with DID. and all disorders as they get romanticized instead of actually understood#so the people with the '''bad symptoms''' get shunned#the amount of times I've heard horror stories of actual systems getting abused and forced into all kinds of shit because of endos.......#anyway neutral stances are for things that don't really hurt people or dont matter or#for when youre in the position of actually learning and forming a position#which in that case its meant to be temporary. temporary!!!!!#radqueers dni
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vampmilf · 9 months
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no offense but how are people calling patrick fat its like the only men you guys have ever seen were skinny twinks 😭
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ff2-soda-pop · 1 year
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i feel like the stuff with lloyd and garmadon is really complicated and i looked in the tags for a couple minutes and i keep seeing people being like. making it like one extreme end of a situation or the other and tbh i dont like or get it-
#like. idk how to make this make sense but like... i feel like given how the show has gone there isnt a way to make this either 'garmadon is#terrible and stuff' or 'lloyd is terrible and stuff'?? like theres just so much to like everything that happens#and i keep seeing people trying to go Entirely one way or the other and i just dont think it works well here??#like garmadon fucked up with being not there a lot in lloyds life and then. whatever the fuck s8-10 was. but at the same time theres stuff#like the snake (forgot the name) venom and harumi bringing back Just the evil parts to take into account for too? which like it doesnt make#it less Bad but also i think when we have stuff like how he was in s3-4 and like how much he was trying to keep lloyd out of harms way in#like s1-2 i cant agree with the idea that hes like Entirely bad or a terrible parent?? like theres a lot going on here#and then with lloyd hes like. a traumatized kid with abandonment issues. i dont blame him At All for how he reacted in crystalized and#stuff. like again traumatized kid with abandonment issues and also tbh it really feels in this show like every damn time he starts to work#through an issue or something bad that happened the show throws a New thing at him or just brings up the Old stuff again so hes like#constantly never getting a break. and so OF COURSE he reacts negatively to garmadon showing up when last several interactions were well....#yknow. s8-10. and then plus theres stuff like 'his dad literally died and then got revived and that whole situation was upsetting in#general for lloyd' (which like. it was like 2ish seasons between 5&8 im not sure if he even would've fully dealt with what happened in#that time frame? could be wrong but still) and just tldr hes not react well to this#(also i have a lot of thoughts on lloyd i could go on about him forever)#but also like i dont think he like.... doesnt care about garmadon?? like i dont think he like Hates Him or anything?? like he clearly doesn#feel as positively as he did Before but like i dont think he Hates him?? if any of that made sense#and then theres shit like the green ninja prophecy and the way its like destiny itself wants lloyd and his family members to just#Fucking Suffer all the time and just- idk i just think its really complicated and trying to simplify it down to like. 'garmadon is terrible#or 'lloyd hates him' or 'garmadon didnt do anything wrong here' or 'lloyd is being too mean' just. doesnt work well here??#though also i do like to think that after the show they're able to work on things and maybe be on good terms again?? idk the show ended on#a positive note and i just want them to be okay again - im very invested in these two if you cant tell - and i just feel like theres#potential for that there yknow?? but like it'd take work and i cant say that there isnt Issues Going On that HAVE to be worked through#because there ARE#.....ok i went on much longer of a tag rant than i expected i need to shut up now#ninjago spoilers
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sheepskinnedgoat · 2 years
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If your only contribution to post saying something like, "being mentally ill doesn't = abuser" is to once again reinforce that "but you can be mentally ill and abusive" you're a fucking asshole at best. Yes, we know, the whole world loves to assume mental illness = abuse. Stop hijacking posts to make yourself feel better because you think we gotta make sure mentally ill people know what you really think.
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be-good-to-bugs · 6 months
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i hope i go somewhere nice when i die
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rzyraffek · 1 year
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Slashers with y/n that just gets along with everything
Like slasher could litteraly kill somone near y/n and she would be like alr alr whats really important is that you are happy🤠😎. Im sorry that first 2character had super long headcanons while last ones have way less :( I had no ideas Request open!
Billy Lenz
He always expects some sort of negative response when he calls people and when he heard new voice on the Phone he got even more exited cuz new person new reaction! He totally didnt expect her to just go "yeah yeah sure buddy, anyways... how is your day man? Cuz im so so tired...*starts normal converstation*
He probably tries to stay in character but he is so caught of Guard he doesnt know how to react really (hehe the table has turn)
Now he kinda hopes that she will pick up cuz shes very intresting😈 billy likey
"Ew its this creep again! He is asking for you y/n? Of please dont tell me you befriended him??" "So what? He said hes favourite fruit is strawberry he cant be that bad!" *billy saying slurs on the phone*
You need to constantly tell him that, no Billy no harrasing women isnt sexy, you arent quirky, you are mentally ill
"Y/n i killed that bitch that was gossiping about you 🧍 " "👍good for you billy im glad you found healthy way to cope with that negative emotion😇" "on god"
His whole moral compass is created around the simple question 'does it hurt y/n?' .1:no it doesnt so feel free to do it .2 do not do it, she will ban Billy from sweets (bad ending)
The man from hush
This guy. This dude. This Little gremlin. He is upset that he gets no reaction! Like please oh please act all angy when he 'acidently' shot tire in her car! But oh no ofc no, she had to be like "oh its okay honey i have backup in garage🥰" hes like HHUH SINCE WHEN WE HAVE GARAGE
Like tbh thats how i imagine how they met: he saw her, he wanted to hunt her, she was so chill that she didnt even leave her household while the power was off and he went inside and just saw her having lil nap on couch. 🧍🤨erm exuse me gurl im trying to roleplay epic hunter here tf
He probably kidnaped her cuz she was too weird to just kill her but he didnt want to risk her calling police. He probably tied her up and yeeted her on backseats. And then she begun judging music on the radio"yo big guy can i get some good music taste?" "What? Whats wrong with Taylor Swift?"
He will overshare everything to kinda check where is her limit if it comes to being chill "yeah so i killed this old lady.." "im sure you had good reason🥰" "🤨... anyways... yeah so i was drinking some redbull when some guy said i look ugly so i shoot his head off and-" "HEY HEY hold up geez you CANT drink Energy drinks?? Bestie you know it is unhealthy?? Also you like hunt for sport it will ruin your condition!? How you gonna shoot people with shakey hands?? You crazy or something?" "Damn😔"
Micheal myers
I tried to put him here but i realised he will be as chill as her.
Like he can give her gifts covered in blood and she' just going to clean it and wear it like nothing happened or completley ignore it
He cares about this stuff as much as y/n so like not at all. I mean tbh theres is a bit of difrence: shes at least positive about it! Like "yeah micheal go for it, love🥰😇 i know its hard to cope with trauma take it all out alr?" Shes trying to be a good supporting gf not her fault she never had serial killer bf!
Brahms Heelshire
He lives for attention! What do you mean the war crime he commited this lunch break is okay!?!? Baby pleasee
But this negativity disapears the moment he realised he can get a lot of positive attention when he will do some nice stuff! "Oh honey I didnt kill any rats today" "oh that's amazing brahms I'm sure you and the rats inside walls will get along well soon🥰" (rats in walls bully brahms)
Please complement him or he will get a tantrum and destroy something
Brahms and rats have very hard past i might do seperate hc about that
Ghostface
"Look babe! My newest victim *shows photo*" "ugh baby...😰 you NEED to buy new camera or watch some youtube tutorials about how to take good photos" "aw man whats wrong with my pictures 😔"
Otherwise y/n supports his hobbies! People need to grow😇 (and he needs to grow up)
If theres 2ghostfaces(like in most movies) they will bet money on how long you gonna keep this 'do whatever as long as youre happy' act. Well they didnt know that this wasnt an act but her personality
Also they will probably try to use this chillnes aginst her like "oooh y/n something terrible happened! I crushed my car oh what will i do!" "Alr bestie i will drive you over there😇" "😈omg you are so nice i totally didnt expect that(heheh i dont need to pay for gas today (hes very evil))
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reiderwriter · 8 months
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discard this request if it isnt your style but it might be funny
bdsm and kink culture reader with vanilla spencer. r is being super 🌶 and spencer is not understanding (maybe r teaches him and he gets really into it)
Vanilla Spencer is so fucking funny to me, because given the chance this man could have the most fucked up sexual habits of anyone in the BAU but he also seems like the type of guy who would be like "idk people get murdered with shit like this" you know 😭 anyway, here's the fic, hope you enjoy, anon!
Summary: You want to spice up your bedroom activities with Spencer, but he's just not getting it.
Warnings: BDSM themes, vanilla! Spencer into soft! Dom Spencer, mentions of spanking, some dry humping, dirty talk, daddy kink mentioned. 18+ MINORS DNI
Here's my masterlist and my requests are open!
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“Oh, what are you gonna do about it? Gonna spank me?”
“Actually, no study has found physical punishment to have a long-term positive effect, and most studies have found negative effects, with children who undergo physical punishment found to grow up to be more aggressive adults.”
You really weren’t sure what you were expecting from your boyfriend.
So far your sex life together had been pretty vanilla. He was an absolute gentleman, making sure to gain your consent everytime he tried something new. He was soft and sweet, and quite honestly, one of the best you’d had in your life because of how attentive he was to your body language.
But recently, you’d been aching for something a little more interesting, to say the least.
“Oh but I’ve been such a bad little girl.” You try again, hoping that he gets the idea this time.
“You shouldn’t think like that, baby, you know you’re doing a great job at work, and if there’s anything you’re struggling with, we can talk it through, okay?” You want to rip your hair out in frustration.
“No, god, Spencer, I want…” you let out a groan and pick yourself up from your chair, choosing instead to climb into his lap and make it more obvious.
“Do you remember that case we took two weeks back? All the couples had some pretty interesting private lives?” You wrapped your hands around his neck and started grinding down on his lap, hopeful that he’d get the idea.
“The family annihilator that went after couples engaging in the BDSM lifestyle? The one who was so traumatised by the discovery of his parents hobbies that he started murdering couples with families that looked like his own?” He still seemed a little confused but he grabbed your hips, aware of the direction this was heading in, at least.
“Heinous murderer aside, were you not at all intrigued by some of the research we had to do?” You pushed your hips down into his again and again, but now you could feel his reciprocation from beneath his slacks.
“Are you talking about the japanese rope bondage, or the dog leashes, specifically?” Spencer teased you, as his hands started trailing up and down your back.
“Spencer don’t tease….”
“No, I’m really curious, what was it that you wanted me to do first?” Spencer was smirking now, and whilst you were happy he was finally picking up what you were putting down, you weren’t exactly excited to have to voice your needs.
“I want you to….I want you to, ummm…..” Your mind was going blank now, because one of Spencer’s hands was now under your skirt drawing small circles, moving closer and closer to your centre.
“Oh that's right, you wanted me to spank you, right baby?” You couldn’t hold back the moan as you felt him finally touch you where you needed him.
“Oh, you like that idea, do you? Want me to throw you over my lap and ruin your nice little ass until you can barely sit.” You were grinding desperately into his fingers now, wishing that he’d make the final move and push your panties aside.
“Use your voice, baby, you know we can’t go any further unless I hear you say what you want.”
“Fuck, fuck, touch me, fucking touch me now.”
“How about we try saying that a little bit nicer this time?” He makes to move his hand away and you whimper - you actually fucking whimper - at the loss of contact, obviously enjoying this a little bit more than you thought you were.
So you partially blamed your unconscious need for him on the next set of words to escape your mouth.
“Fuck me, daddy.”
His hands stilled completely and your eyes shot open, immediatley looking into his darkened ones.
“What did you just call me?” You felt his hips shift under yours and knew you finally fully had him.
“I called you daddy.” You whispered, your lips moving closer and closer to his, practically begging for some more attention.
Instead, he pushed you off him, and you fell unceremoniously onto the floor while he stood and straightened his clothes.
“I want you on the bed, ass up and legs spread for me. What kind of daddy would I be if I denied my little girl, right?” he smirked down at you.
It was going to be a fun night.
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silliest-heartaches · 5 months
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Ohh my god DRINKKK!! Dude I love them sooo muchhh. I just love imagining them being head over heels for each other yet constantly denying their feelings, because of how they view themselves, yet still finding comfort and solace with each other. They are so. YES. PERFECT. AUGH.
SHARE MORE ABOUT THEM PLEASE!!!
And I love how you use they/them for Ink and she/her for Dream!!
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GOD YEAH I LIKE THEM SO INCREDIBLY MUCH... tbh the main reason i started liking them was bc i was thinking abt them and how doomed yuri coded they were and. The worms Wormed in from there,,,,
I actually use he/they and she/they for ink and dream respectively but!!!!!! I love all hcs and interpretations of them for REAL. nonbinary people who are gay as fuck for real,, very inherrently queer ship regardless of how u see either of them i think...heart seeing them as t4t transmasc and transfem forever personally though so thats what i see em as hehe,, also in my head theyre both aroacespec (though the specifc kind varies from au to au though i do consistently see ink as ace and dream as demiaro :>>)
Im not sure how long these will be so...hcs under the cut lol
- okay well while in my mind while error is technically the First Entity ink sees that isnt just a normal entity, dream is like their First. Friend. you know. Like when error first saw him he was screaming and crying for the hills bc it was also his first time seeing another outcode so. that reaction BUT with dream she was more filled with gentle confusion... this is a bit after she unstoned in the apple incident but still was new to au hopping and naive to most danger so they became friends!!! Questionably so.
-to elaborate, when they first meet dream is still stuck on the ideals of toxic positivity and pushing through hardship no matter what... i think this is something they eventually grow out of and dream will eventually learn to see the need for balance eventually but one of their first disputes happens when ink is running low on ink and most of whats left are the Negative Emotions within him alongside the especially strong panic that he usually feels when they get like this... dream would try to comfort him and try to say that itll work out in the end no matter what and that they just need to push through and that itll be okay like normal comforting words because dream is an empath and can sense feelings right,,i feel like its comforting in some cases but when things get Really Bad and especially when the main reserves of feelings that ink has are Negative, they heavily override his normal sense of self and i imagine they get a lot more. Snappy.... theres also the additional hc thingy of ink also really overexaggerating his feelings and overplaying them a lot for the sake of trying to feel more intensely (doesnt work, just drains him faster and will never truly feel natural to him...personally think that ink feels a lot of disconnect from his feelings) which could be considerably offputting to dream (though before adding swap to the group she thought it wass normal because she had only seen the fake pretend nice joy of the village influenced by her aura and not Genuine Feelings)
I think eventually through the years they would learn a lot from eachother...like with ink learning to be more naturally charismatic and dream learning to see past toxic positivity and have his perception on emotions change for the better (ie in learning that having different emotions are okay, so long as there is a balance)
id do alot more hcs but tbh what it boils down to is: toxic codependent yuri. intensely up and down relationship where theres an insane amount of love and attachment but also a lack of self from the both of them because they are only able to see themselves as a Thing to the other. Also exes who turned out to be besties. Thry got together and broke up wayyy before blue (they casually tell him stories about it and for the parts that he does know about he is horrified for.) Oh and they share hobbies and do parallel play alot. dream is more music oriented and can play the cello and flute. ink can play the ukelele but hes more familiar with drawing and painting duh. Also they have a garden. they love growing flowers but their favourites are sunflowers. Also have writing sessions together. Also may/may not also have beautiful princess disorder. (The both of them)
im so sorry this is so incoherrent but erm. yeah im very normal abt them (half of this stuff comes from oc projection the other half is like. Mental illness while in the shower tbh)
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hisaame · 6 months
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hi hi! Could you do a Scaramouche x fem!reader with angst to comfort? Specifically with reader having issues on how they view their body?? ((Like their insecure)) preferably modern au plss
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first time writing on request yippie!! hii and ty, i hope this is what you've asked for!! <3 also im stillll new to writing and stuff, so im praying im good for now!
╰』ˋˋ"What do you mean you aren't pretty?" «
ˎˋ╰⪼Scaramouche x fem!reader ˎˋ
[angst with comfort] — modern au,,,
『warnings: body negativity, cursing, body touch, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader being like half naked (NO SPICY STUFF THO), idk what else to add im not good at warnings.... 』
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— Scaramouche simply couldnt understand.
How could you, a pretty girl with the body of a goddess, possibly think you look less than he thinks?
It was in the afternoon, you had invited Scaramouche to come over to your dorm, since it was the weekends and you had no subject to study, you finished two exams last week. So you wanted to have a nice day off, where your lover would be there.
But before that you decided to take a shower, u have already been outside with your friends Hu Tao and Yanfei, spending time with them since they were from another school.
You hated your bathroom. Why? Because the mirror there was huge.
Slowly taking off your clothes, its almost impossible to ignore your reflection. Its there no matter where you turn—seriously, its like they made the dorms' bathrooms like this on purpose, just to make you feel even worse about yourself as if before wasnt already enough.
You cringe at yourself once you took off your clothes. You should hurry up in the shower—but something made you stay in front of the mirror, criticizing yourself with your own thoughts. Turning a bit to the side to look at other various parts of your body, finding nothing decent or enough for yourself. You sighed, you should be positive right now, school isnt in the way and you should be relaxing.
With a glare at your own reflection, before getting into the shower quickly, turning on some warm water. Showers should be relaxing, but as you washed your body, using soap, making there be various white bubbles on your skin, they smell quite nice, and are certainly fun to play with.
But the feeling of your own hands on your body distracted you. The way you felt under your own touch, it somewhat... Disgusts you.
Finally—once you were done with showering, taking a towel and wrapping it around your body, shivering as the cool air hit against your wet skin. You dried off your hair, brushed it out, trying not to stare at the mirror too much. Maybe you're just too judgemental. Maybe you're not as bad as you think?
After you were done with your hair—you must not have noticed, but there was a sudden knock at your bathroom door. Then it opened up to reveal Scaramouche. Well, he peeked through it first to check was he invading any privacy.
"Damn, this was the last place i was gonna check. I came here like five minutes ago." Scaramouche sighed in relief to seeing you, not at all bothered by the fact you're only in a towel. He pressed a kiss to your lips as a greeting, ruffling your half dry hair.
Though, you looked uncomfortable. Not with the fact your lover had come into the bathroom while you were in just a towel, but the fact your body was pretty exposed to him, and you thought, what id he judged you? Maybe not out loud, but what if he was thinking about it?
Noticing your discomfort, Scaramouches eyes widened for a split second at his realization, then spoke up, "i can leave if you want—to wait for u to get changed." , he gave you a half smile. But you told him its alright. Why? You wanna just push him away.
At your answer, he smiled softly, nodding. Maybe you just needed him here, after a hard week. What he thought was different than what you thought. Seeing this as a nice opportunity, he went behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, his chin on your shoulder as he gave you a goofy, lazy smirk, looking at the mirror where you two can be seen. Maybe you should've kicked him out...
"You always look so pretty after showering—like all clean, pretty, and u smell nice." Scaramouche mumbled, as if shy to admit. "wait i said pretty twice. Replace one of those words with 'gorgeous' then." You couldn't tell if he was flirting with you or genuinely fucked up with his words.
But the way you looked at him with almost surprise at what he said, his eyebrow raised as his expression changed.
"Why do you look like i fucking said i discovered the moon and flew to mars? Dont you know youre pretty?" He said, his usual personality showing. He doesnt exactly like being all mushy, but for you, he's a sucker. So he's nicer...
Maybe it was finally time to admit it. He was your lover anyway, and you trusted him. You nodded slowly, then immediately looked away, regretting what you just did. That... Shocked Scaramouche! You, not pretty? Were you high!?
".. Huh? Did someone tell you you're not pretty? Ill fuck them up. Who was it?" He narrowed his eyes, his embrace around your waist tightening. His protective side definitely was showing. But once he didnt get a reply, seeing the way you frowned and refuses to look at the mirror, he realized the situation.
"... [y/n]? Dont tell me you tell yourself that..." Scaramouche sighed. Figuring you werent comfortable with the mirror, he turned you around, so you can face him again. You even thought he was prettier than you will ever be. Well, he's here to prove you're better than you think!
"[y/n]. I know i dont say this a lot, but you're gorgeous to me. God, these words sound so cliche.. But its true. You're the most gorgeous, pretty, beautiful—fuck, what else—cute, adorable girl i have ever met. Okay?" Scaramouche stared into your eyes. He definitely wasnt the best at comfort, but he wants to try his best—for you.
Then he softly smiled at you. "Hey, lets get you dressed up and we can talk about how magnificent you really are?", he kissed your nose, hos face flushing immediately right after as he lead you out of the bathroom, talking to you along the way.
"You may have your flaws and all that, but thats what makes you, you. You know? I like your flaws." Scaramouche admitted, blushing like an idiot when he looked away once he told you what he thought.
Soon enough, you were dressed, dragged to bed by Scaramouche who quite literally forced you to be the little spoon this time. You could barely hear the tv over him talking about how pretty he thinks you are.
Yeah, if anyone even dared to even joke about you being 'ugly', he's getting suspended because of reasons you know what happens.
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miiilowo · 7 months
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I have seen what they say about npd on Google but may I ask you for the truth or at least stuff people don't mention cause i have a feeling there is a ton of stuff they don't mention and they just focus on bullshit
Sorry if its worded weird I just wanna learn about npd from a better source
Ill start off by saying I'm not the best source since im just some dude who has it, but I dont blame you for asking me specifically, considering how most of the results when looking into NPD are very, very plainly abelist or misinformed. Hell, even some of the non-abelist sources have some things wrong with them.
Before I begin, I wanna get this out of the way (since its very common to encounter): 'narc abuse' isnt real. No illness or disorder will make someone abusive. Abuse is a choice, and is not something one can be born into; Claiming all narcissists are inherently abusive is incredibly abelist, and if someone tells you otherwise, either kindly inform them or beat them with hammers. Everyone is capable of kindness, and everyone is capable of abuse. There is no pattern of abuse that solely correlates to people with NPD. If someone is abusive, and they also happen to have NPD, thats an abuser who has NPD, not a narcissistic abuser. You know? While a disorder may contribute to choices people make, correlation is not causation.
I will say to anyone else reading this who has used the term before, or anyone who has used 'narcissist'/'narcissistic' to describe someone who hurt them--As long as you stop, I wont be mad at you. I know that for a lot of people, it simply doesn't occur to them that it might be hurtful. However, if you know about how it can be hurtful or abelist and you CONTINUE to use it, that's where we have a real issue.
A few people have asked how to refer to me as someone who has NPD, so ill also mention that here. while i dont mind being called a narcissist personally, a lot of people do Not like being called that. generally saying people with NPD or pwNPD for short is a safer bet.
ok, now that thats out of the way, heres some stuff i have tucked in my pocket. they should give you a decent enough idea of what its like, and if you have followup questions, absolutely feel free to ask!!! i dont mind helping de-stigmatize in any way i can. i wont think its annoying i prommy
National Library Of Medicine - NPD
Stigma in the DSM when it comes to how NPD is described (keep in mind for above link) - @/kindnessoverperfection
NPD criteria rewritten by someone who has it (explanations for changes also included) - @/kindnessoverperfection
Me responding to someone who asked what they can do to help out/accommodate living w someone w NPD. <- this one covers some of my personal experiences with it
Collection of resources and an explanation of ""narc supply"" - @/theegosystem
Perception of NPD symptoms vs. how someone may actually experience them - @/kindnessoverperfection
I'm not gonna go over every single symptom and how it affects me, but I do wanna talk about envy, entitlement and narc crashes because those are the things i tend to encounter the most often that are like. Actually Bad And Disordered. some of these traits arent really that bad (like being arrogant and having a big ego. if im constantly talking about how sexy and awesome i am idk how thats a bad thing TBH i recommend it for everyone. does wonders for the mental health. there is a bad side to it [which you can find in the links above] but in my experience its less prevalent of an issue than the stuff im ab to talk about)
For me PERSONALLY, its mostly a problem with ego regulation, and the perception I have of myself is HEAVILY reliant on how other people perceive me and how much positive attention I'm getting. If someone does not like me, it is absolutely devastating, far more than it should be for the average person (though i also suffer from RSD due to my other disorders so i dont imagine thats helping)
If I dont receive enough attention, receive too much negative attention, or am led to believe I'm not actually the specialest boy on planet earth who deserves to be picked up and spun around and kissed on the forehead it can lead to whats referred to as a 'narc crash', or just a crash. Whatever we've been telling ourselves to keep our ego intact has been shattered into pieces, and we'll get rather angry and depressed, though mostly depressed. (we as in people with npd). The length of the crash usually depends on the severity of what happened, and whats being done to amend it, as far as i can tell.
Small things that may contribute to a crash For Me (or just feeling sort of upset tbh) are not being the center of attention in a group conversation, not being perceived as being the Best at something, not being prioritized by other people, not being invited to do things (even if you KNOW you dont want to participate in the activity), and PEOPLE SENDING ME ANNOYING FUCKING ANONS ON TUMBLR (not you. youre fine. this is referring to other people) among other things. Just this general sorta. thang. will get under our skin more than most. like 100% of the time. there are an infinite number of examples, but these are a handful of the most consistent ones for me.
One other thing i want to highlight is the "Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations)" symptom. This is true but the wording is absolute dogshit. I do have a sense of entitlement; I feel like I deserve certain things, and i do heavily desire favorable treatment. However, I KNOW when those things are unreasonable. I know when it's unfair, I know when it's unrealistic, I know not everyone is going to be able to comply to my demands 100% of the time, but I really feel like the focus here should be on how UPSETTING it is when these things arent met vs how it sucks for other people. When I dont receive what i feel like i deserve, i just get. really sad and upset. I personally have the self control to not snap at people (usually; depends on if the infraction was fair or not), but the phrasing here makes it seem like if the person with npd isnt an asshole about it, then they dont have this issue. which is false. i shouldnt be worked up and wanting to cry because i didnt receive an award for something i know i dont technically deserve and didnt commit to. you know?????? idk. IDK man. (its this kind of thing that makes me INCREDIBLY competitive and its also why i never enter contests of any kind. if i dont win i will want to commit murder at a minimum. i am a sore loser)
Envy is also a big problem for me. I think (know?) that other people are envious of me and look up to me, but I'm envious of other people to like, what would be a friendship-ruining level if I actually expressed it all the time. Its an underlying sense of "i deserve this more than you, why are you receiving this, this isnt fair, this should be me instead" that becomes genuinely RAGE INDUCING when half the time its just like. someone telling me theyre going on a cool trip. lmao. like they dont have to be bragging they can just be like Hey check out this thing i get to do isnt that cool :3 bc they wanna share their happiness with me. it sucks. it really sucks. Hell, when I see my mutuals and peers receive fanart for their aus/ocs/etc i get so agitated i have to use xkits "block post" feature so i dont have to look at it LMAO
I do also wanna touch on the 'believes they are special and will only associate with special people or institutions' thing briefly, since its kinda vague. I like myself, and i'm only going to want to interact with people who are also "like me", because, to put it bluntly, i perceive them as being better. people who i cannot relate to get sorta. pushed to the side. and i dont want to say i look down on them, but thats the best descriptor i have for it; obviously, be kind to everyone above all else, but inside i WILL be annoyed by you if i perceive you as being boring and/or 'basic'. probably part of why i hate taylor swift fans so much TBH
Again, this description I've given is very personal, and may not wholly apply to other people w NPD--It also doesn't cover every trait/symptom, but is just a handful that I wanted to go over. Remember to check out the linked sources if you havent, and if anyone reading this has some extra links, I'd be happy to take them!!!! If you have any questions or need clarification on something, also feel free to ask :3
Edit: I feel like its important to note that while trauma is a common way for someone to develop NPD, (neglectful or abusive parents for example), its not the only way. theres a few different ways it can develop, and i personally did due to an excessive amount of praise in childhood, which is one of the more commonly listed causes. set up my brain to need that to function
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year
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People who say shit like "positive vibes only" are such a red flag to me because they expect you to be happy all the time regardless of circumstance or subject and like breh I'm not 'negative' for discussing sociopolitical issues that do in fact have roots in systemic violence that's just how the world works and your positive vibes ass prefers toxic positivity to reality. The mentality that you're either happy all the time about everything or you have 'negative' vibes is not just utterly braindead, it also often seems to serve the purpose of protecting the person who has that mentality from basically any negative reaction to their privilege, or even if it's not an ism thing that 'positive vibes only' attitude seems to be a way to avoid any discussion at all of the consequences of that person's actions. Can't do that, it's ~negative~ rather than like. A normal function of being alive, experiencing and sometimes causing negative emotions.
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