Would you love me if I was a worm?
You say yes without a thought
I bite my tongue and stop from asking if you would love me as myself
Would you love me tarnished and blemished
With flaws and sins abound
With difficulties and insecurities
And days with madness wrought
Will you love me as myself
Difficult to handle and oh so human in my existence
Or would you like me to be a worm, uncomplicated
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Two minutes before the sunset, and I'm still stranded in front of the window, stuck waiting for a little chance to see you from a far..
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there's something a little off
about me
there's something a bit wrong
with me
I don't know what to do
as you can see
and don't know what to choose
i'm falling
i'm flailing
cause i can't swim
and i'm failing
cause i don't win
and i'm trying
though honestly i'm not
and i'm ok
(yes i am)
(no youre not)
and i know that
him and me
can never be
cause i'm much too close to the edge
of insane-insanity
and i walk and walk
and talk and talk
and i act and lie
like i'm fine
that i'm fine
cause i'm fine
and nothing hurts
and it's cold
and i feel worse
but i don't know
what i should know
and i can't do
what i should be able to
cause there's something a little off
about me
something a little wrong
with me
but i don't know
what it could
possibly be
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Emotional support Leshy comfort doodle after some very shitty days:,> we all need some bush boy encouragement in our life.
Don’t forget to hydrate, have a snack and treat yourself!:D
HKDFSDFSAJHF YOU RETURNED SO SOON!
You picked literally the best time to send me encouraging leshy art because IIIIIIIIII am having a complete rollercoaster of emotions in my personal life. I have like a really cool vacation coming up but it's in the middle of my personal life falling apart so I'm very conflicted. BUT IF LESHY THINKS I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TRY
I drew shamura giving you their blessing because you said you weren't doing so great, I was actually gonna schedule my ask doodles for tomorrow before I go on my trip but I felt like this one should be answered tonight-
I tried to include the theme of arson in the picture because it made me laugh seeing a cute lil leshy enjoying committing crimes. I hope even if things have been shitty lately, you feel a little better knowing this random internet artist wants things to start looking up for you. I certainly felt better seeing your art pop up in my inbox again so I might as well pass it on!
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Daughter/Son
They say “I love you kiddo,”
But they only love their daughter.
A girl composed of songs and stardust,
They only love their daughter.
A girl that's made of hopes and lies,
They only love their daughter.
This girl they love,
She doesn’t exist,
Not since I have come their way.
Because this girl they love,
Used to be me,
Until I had the nerve to say,
“Mom, I’m a boy.”
And she thinks that girl she loves,
Was stolen by her son,
And while really we are the same person,
Still she loves only one.
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I move through tar
I get up
I make coffee
At least I think the cup is clean enough
I sit at my desk
and I stare
My hands are busy
and my mind is numb but
inside I’m screaming
Why does nobody see me?
I have tried
so hard
to reach out
No takers
Too reliant
on those
too busy
too drowning
in their own
oceans of pain
Where is the
life boat?
I’m drowning
and I’m screaming
but no one is hearing
I might as well
just fade away.
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for furor club (óðinn and dionysos)
hail to the furious one, who shall spare a drink for him?
have his feet not stamped the earth in its every rainbowed hue?
from the mead-stained mountains to the sun-scorched soil,
we call you friend and do the same.
to scream his name you must split your tongue to answer,
taste the terroir of the air.
is there another story the likes of you, ever-turning one?
the wise women carve, twine and weave and you wear your masks well.
rich herald of a mad banner, fetter and release of grove and vine,
show us the way to pleasure that flows through root-darkened halls;
waytamer, emperor who drapes drowned upon his inverted throne,
let us be the very forest we ride through.
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after writing a paper
against following your emotions,
i laid in bed;
i'm sorry i missed dinner
my heart was heavy
and needed holding.
i can identify
my word choice and argument
but not my own fears.
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Saltwater Heartbreak
The ocean rests in my eyes.
Waves of tears shift
over my cheeks
and rest in salt kissed lullabies.
I sing my goodbyes
with seagull wings
and send off my fractured heart
in seaweed-wrapped boxes.
View On WordPress
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soldier, poet, king
i took the soldier, poet, king test
i got king
of course i got king
what else was i possibly expecting
when has my life ever not been a burden for me to bear
a weight placed on my shoulders
"a natural leader" they called me as if they did not make me this way
forged me to be independent (quiet) and strong (afraid to ask for help) and a leader (needing to take charge because things are easier if
i
do
them
myself)
kings are the gifted children
i was so far ahead they didn't know what to do with me
and now i'm average
and it hurts
Duty. Strength. Resignation.
when did i stop doing things for the love of them
when did life become a chore
when did everything become a routine to follow before i could be done
when did i start hating everything i did
when did i become the king
was i always the king?
they ruined me
they turned me into this
this is their fault
and now i'm the king
yes, king.
always king.
it was never going to be different.
and i'll take the crown
and live with it
and wish
maybe
i could be the poet instead
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poetry for @noose-lion's dtiys (+ my personal take on what I've written) and original work below the cut!
You wounded beast
So comfortable with claws
Salvaging those you tear
Dropping tatters on the ground
You wounded beast
Keen on sharpened teeth
Jaws clamped tight around your goals
Sinking when they fail
You wounded beast
Putting a collar on comfort
Red as a form of warning
Values lying elsewhere as a discarded leash
You wounded beast
Never bothering to lick any wounds
The scent of copper in all that you breathe
Covering the unwanted throne upon which you sit
Your body is in pieces
Falling prey to injuries of the mind
Withering away as one does with rot
Plummeting upon crimson asphalt
I don't know if anyone cares about my view on my poetry because it is subjective, but I'll try to explain my thought process behind this. The poem as a whole reflects how Beast Dazai only cares about achieving his goal at the cost of himself. It's heavily referring to self destruction, especially with the mentioning of comfort being collared, and values put on a leash. Beast is the culmination of things that the original Dazai wouldn't do under normal circumstances. If Beast Dazai really valued comfort, he wouldn't be working so hard to tear down the life he could've had in order to save one person. Conversely, you could argue that he is so eager to finally have comfort that he is willing to lose everything for it, but is it really comfort then? As for the values bit, he has to contradict behavior his original counterpart does in order to achieve his goals, even though they fail in the long run. Even after all this, he still does try to cling to the people he's pushed away during the course of his plans.
I don't have much else to say, really. It's midnight for me at the time I'm posting this, so Happy New Year. This is half 'poetry for the dtiys,' and half 'partially baked psychoanalysis on an anime man,' so I wouldn't take this too seriously, but I put effort into this.
I'm also self conscious since despite being an author, I'm nervous on being a poet. Anyways, first published poem on this site, let's goooo
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I am running through the woods
of your
c o n s c i o u s n e s s
i watch the night go by
c
o
u
n
t
i
n
g
the stars
i wish for
love
you gave me the forest
honesty
you gave me the stream
kindness
you gave me the adoring village
how is it I have found you?
the one who makes
my morning bright
and
my night adorning
~ sizzlingsara;)
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the hill I'll die on
I'm running up the hill
Sysiphus rolled his boulder
Trying to get to the top
So I can snatch beauty
Out the eye of the beholder
while I was running
the world jumped out of my palms
and landed squarely on my shoulders--
Atlas wasn't playing this shit is heavy
but all the tragedy and triumph I faced
got me ready
I just gotta hold it steady
one foot in front of the other
a wise man said
don't have it covered
have it smothered
only stop to help
a sister or a brother
I love you too
I just hate me
still I wont let death take me
until I break free
and find peace
maybe its up there
next to the beholder
maybe up there
the world is a little colder
thats why I approach
this climb like I'm a soldier.
march - march - we in the garden of Eden
and stopping is the apple
don't bite.
don't ever bite.
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tap-tap
there goes a minute
tap-tap
there goes my time
tap-tap
there goes my life
tap-tap
there goes my mind
tap-tap
there went the guy i love
tap-tap
there went my smile
tap-tap
there went my non-existent career
tap-tap
like it'd last a while
tap-tap
there goes the stinging
tap-tap
there go the tears
tap-tap
everytime i think too hard
tap-tap
come my illogical fears
tap-tap
i've gotta do better
tap-tap
but i know i won't
tap-tap
i should get up on time
tap-tap
we all know i don't
tap-tap
i know i need help
tap-tap
i know i won't get it
tap-tap
cause i don't like myself
tap-tap
see, i admit it
snap-snap
my mind's in a panic
snap-snap
what am i even doing
snap-snap
i'm getting sort of frantic
snap-snap
though its my own life i'm screwing
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"03's Loop"
Some thoughts about the date (Sept 30th) and what it means to me, I cycle thoughts in a constant cognitive loop.
.
.
.
FHDURJSKSJSSJ I HAD THE BEST BDAY EVER???
I'm usually the one to plan stuff for everyone and everything in my house when it comes to special occasions. I didn't have anything planned for my bday other than to sit and watch jjba
This year, I had my first ever suprise party 😭💕
(Poem under the cut,
if you wanna read it.
It is kinda long lol)
My memory is constant failure
03's Loop
Fragmented and scattered by the winds of time
What I recall is very little,
Painful and sad
20 years living
Happiness tends to not come so easily
The date is September 30th
I was born this day
Cleft lip on display
The kids at school used to
Call me songs and names
My parents have no baby pictures of me
I used to wonder why
The fragments of childhood still pierce skin years later
A once forgotten shard is found again
Recent memories dig further into the wounds
My mind with a terrible metallic buzz
Anxiety in its constant
Adult since 9,
A child at 20,
Both too young
And too old for this body,
A terrible loss for someone so seemingly bright
Yet despite it all,
This grief,
This fear,
That comes with being human,
I'd like to believe
That I will be okay in the end
Holding on for that quiet moment
Holding on for that feeling of soft fur and a warm pulse,
From a friend with pointy ears and sharp teeth,
I've always been soft for dogs
(I miss my childhood dog, Rocky)
Holding on for the day that I can sit
And listen to the rain
While drinking hot chocolate
(I still think about my last memory of him, even to this day)
I'm only 20,
I still have the rest of my life ahead of me.
Even now, I am still scared but,
I can't wait to see what the future holds for me
Guess I've always been a sucker for pain :P
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