noise // jay brooks
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What you burnt, broke,
and tore is still in my
hands. I am the keeper of
fragile things and I have
kept of you what is
indissoluble.
Anais Nin
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what if we grow too close?
what if i love you too much and i forget we are not of the same flesh?
that one day you will pry yourself from my skin and walk away
as if my body doesnt breath your air
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bittersweet memories
dancing in the pupils
of my hollowed out eyes
these sugar-coated recollections
attempting to latch onto me
ultimately
eating me alive
—clare guintu, from stain of hues
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"oh god, please don't let this be the beginning of our end."
thoughts 1:42 AM
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I suffer the pain of loss because I once had everything I could wish for
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Missing you
I miss you in the morning,
as I walk through the apartment’s quiet rooms.
Furniture like phantoms in the darkness.
I miss you during the day,
when the sun warms my face, and the wind rustles through the
potted plants on the balcony.
I miss you in the evening,
when the teapot spreads the scent of chamomile in the kitchen.
I miss you at night,
in the fan’s persistent buzzing,
my tangled sheets,…
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What it is to be in love ,
What it is to be in love with you and you not have a clue ,
Simple , it is to wake up in the morning and hope to see a message from you
It is to sip coffee alone in the veranda of the garden and wonder if you have woken up
It is to get through the day without letting you flood my mind
It is to sit in the evenings after all is done and immerse myself in movies and books that do not remind me of you
It is to sit in the nights , in the dark , drifting into sleep , whispering to the still world how much I miss you ~
S.S
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i'm pretending
to love you
to see if it
sticks
like it used to.
but your
face is
just
a face
(others kiss).
and your
eyes are
just
holes
(others look at).
and you
are just
a
body
(i used to love?).
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the last word // jay brooks
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Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.
Emily Dickinson
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smothered
a fire was lit
once you came into my life
it burned brightly
colors gleamed within my eyes
every touch made me melt
then everything changed
darkness flowed
you smothered me with your lies
now i see
you never were
who you claimed to be
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13.10.2023 No. 16.
My ugly fall
I have lost myself in you
Try to find all the feathers I have lost
When I fell
It seems, there are so many of them
As the people
As the lessons
I no longer want to be controlled by your word
I need to fly again
For that is what I was born for
I wonder though
If I collect all of myself
Will my time run out?
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Izumi Shikibu
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From a lover to the hater i am
I hate couples
I hate happy couples
Yea, its resentment.
But why does a romantic relationship with a person have to be the pinnacle of human relationships?
Why do people pick their partners over their friends? (Im guilty of it as well)
I hate watching you kiss in public. Your handholding makes me sick and id like to see your happiness crumble and rot.
I dont need anyone
Still trying to find my own feet to stand on
Why cant i tell you that it feels like youd pick your partner over a dear friend any day of the week.
Why am I a plan b from when your partner cant make it over?
Why am I so bitter when I was once so full of love
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