constantly dying and losing parts of oneself yet can never truly die
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sad post warning!
also tw for death, loss and grief
i wrote a poem after listening to the song euthanasia by will wood, which is about when he had to get his pet rat Mr Boy put to sleep and the song really hits me because ive had rats put to sleep before, so heres a poem about grief and losing pets that doesnt rhyme
Saying goodbye is hard and it hurts
But it hurts because you care
And its hard because you love them
Its hard to say goodbye
But you know you have to
Because they’d hurt more if they stay
You have to let them go
But its okay for it to hurt
You could go without hurting
But if you did youd never love
Pain is the end of love
Its knowing you’re seeing them for the last time
Knowing theres only one goodbye
And its so painful
And it only gets harder
Love hurts but to not love is to not live
Its seeing a glimse of them out the corner
Of your eye and thinking theyre back
Its seeing the empty bed
The absence hurts just as bad
But they have to go
Death is inevitable and it happens to everyone
Even rats
You hold on to the memory
You put flowers on their grave
And know they’re warm and safe
Inside your heart
Where they can live forever
But it still hurts that they’re in your heart
And not in your arms
But they’d never forget you
And you’ll never forget them
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"Death is the mother of beauty; hence from her,
Alone, shall come fulfillment to our dreams."
- Wallace Stevens
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for the first time, i can hear the stillness, and lack thereof.
i can hear the fan, not the mechanical buzz of the motor, but the soft woooshhhh of the air, the circling motuons of the flow
i can hear the darkness outside, not the birds or the crickets, but the absence of light, the whisper of the rising moon
serenity, I think is what it is
but it feels so bittersweet
like Earth wants to send me off with something nice to remember her by
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The girl i once was - poem by me
i wanna feel this sweet feeling
blood dripping from the tearing
on my skin
i wanna feel the sweet sweet taste
the one the only not so fake
the blood coming from my brain
and from my heart
pouring down my lips, and down my spine
and down my chest, and down my sides
pouring down to the floor
where everyone has been before
the floor that made me feel at peace
when everyone has been so mean
my love for you is never ending
not there, not here when i'm landing
the cold hard pavement caught my body
it wrapped it's hands around nobody
cause who was i down in this moment?
who knows where my lonely soul went?
it wrapped it's gentle hands
around an empty shell
memories were strong that night
the girl i was in no one's sight
the girl that no one really knew
someone someday though might do
but i guess not anymore
the girl i was is not here not more
she is happy up in the sky
flying, crying
floating high
flying like the bird she was
crying from her glowing eyes
not a single pound
to weigh her soul back down
sirens howling in the cold night
her mind is free and soul is so bright
you want to know her, i don't blame you
'cause once your dead they all want to save you
but look at the sky
stars are shining and so is she.
her heart is beating with the sea
her eyes are glowing with the stars
her blood is flowing at the mars
she's forever gone but always here
the girl i once was
and the girl that's forever free
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Disbelieving darkness and frightening final sounds
Relief that the meaning of life has yet to be found
with each moment is one coming to an end
Mortality’s grip from which we all shelter and hide
Fear is inevitable swelling up into gathering tides
Cruel showers strengthen and darken each wave
Fearing the moment of death as justly as you pretend
You long for it endlessly as if it’s the final answer
To the question you have no business asking in anger
Quit your pining and drown in that lively becoming kindness
You have no purpose washed up on the beach lifeless
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“Unafraid of Death” Poem by Mac
The section including “Once again,” references that
I’ve spoken about death & what’s next
many times in poems prior. ☠️
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All's well that's dead well.
As much I know about wealth
It only seems to keep up with my health.
Even though it may be well
Life is nothing but a burning hell.
We live for a long, and long period of time
But I feel like being alive is a crime.
As life starts to be a little more fun
It's very serious that we have to run.
My favorite poem that I made
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I want to be loved like a dead girl
Like the hollow of breath left behind in her smile
Like the space between her lover's fingertips
Where her lips parted in a smile
Maybe on a hot summers day
Leaving traces of her memory and sweat behind
I want to be loved like a dead girl
Endless and dark, like the guilt she left behind
Like the stretching of hands to tell her you're sorry
To tell her you didn't mean it
To tell her you didn't think your hands would feel like claws to her
To tell her you didn't know what she really was asking for
To tell her you're sorry you're sorry you're sorry
I want to be loved like a dead girl
Like the loneliness of a sad sad song
The open windows in a colourful room
The tenant long gone
The traces of her fragrance in the air,
Contrasted by the grim disposition
Of her leave
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beer breath
There are many and lots of sorrows I own
Barely twenty-three
Barely feel my soul
I crave to be burned into ash and bone
Along with the half that left me unwhole
One of those sorrows is being so flawed
Like a dead rose
Lost most of its beauty
Establishing I am no grand act of God
I feel incapable of being so choosey
Get what you get and don’t be so hostile
My breath tonight
It’s just Pacifico beer
Put a dead rose into the empty bottle
To remind myself that I’m sadly still here
a.b.
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Another year, another day
Seems like the world wants me to play
Be happy, enjoy, celebrate
It's my born day, time to jubilate
But my heart is heavy, my mind is down
As I try to shake away this thorny crown
For every year on this same date
I feel like I'm trapped, in a cycle of fate
The clock ticks louder, the day feels longer
As I try to smile for the sake of my honor
The balloons and cake, the gifts and joy
All feel like a facade, a clever decoy
For deep down, I just can't shake
The pain that comes with this same date
He was my twin, my best friend too
And since he's gone, my heart feels askew
I don't care for the celebrations or the cheer
For when I look in the mirror, I see a twin no longer near
So I'll keep to myself, and push through the tears
For even though he's gone, our bond remains dear.
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it’s seventy degrees in october. a shaft of sunlight falls
through the windshield of my car and i remember
being blinded by the same sun at eight years old
from the back of the car as you came to check on me.
or when you offered to cut the food on my plate for me
or took me away from the noise of the kitchen to teach
me how to play video games.
there are some days where i wake up and wonder
why you weren’t at my graduation or
why you haven’t come around for the last couple
christmases.
close enough to remember you fondly but far enough
for me to forget, just for a second;
hanging in that in-between
thinking that i should invite you over for lemonade
and catch up on everything you’ve been up to
before remembering that it’s been five years and
i should really go visit your grave.
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