#plz tell me. i want to read it if anyone does write this

[sprite-writes]

failed romantics

Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Reader (original female character)

Summary: Secrets can’t be kept forever, and what better time to reveal them than the Enterprise night shift.

Word Count: 5,902

A/N: yay another chapter!! I have been so excited to write this one since I started this series, I hope you all like it. As always very special thanks to @lightning-writes without them these chapters would literally never get finished LOL immediately after finishing this plz go check out their bucky series; good heart (faulty machine of a man) it kills me in the best way. anyways, thank you for reading plz like + comment if you enjoyed :)

Leonard can only barely make out Kirk’s face under the dim bulb, but he is pissed enough that Jim’s mug is the last thing he wants to see. The music is loud, so goddamn loud , loud enough that the whiskey did nothing for his headache. 

“This is not what I had in mind when you said you knew a place,” he yells over the music, staring down the side of Kirk's face. 

“What?” the captain calls back, still oblivious to Leonard's scowl. Kirk is absent, completely distracted by the crowd, more specifically the women . His gaze filters from person to person as they pass by the table, a dumb smile on his face the entire time. If steam could come out of Leonard’s ears, it would. 

“I said this isn't what I had in mind for tonight.” He reaches across the table and firmly flicks his friend’s temple. 

“Hey! What's your problem?” Kirk whines. Leonard is satisfied to have gotten his attention—finally. 

“You said you knew a nice place– you said it was a bar!” 

“Yeah and? This is both of those things!” 

“This is a goddamned petri dish!” 

It is. Leonard has refused to even allow his bare skin to touch the tabletop, weary of the unknown sticky substances covering it. There are so many bodies— human and otherwise— packed into the space, it's suffocating, and certainly a fire hazard. It's gross, downright unsanitary, and fucking loud.  

“You’re dramatic, Bones, it's nice enough. Loosen up! Maybe try to meet somebody. We’re only in Yorktown for a day, y’know?” 

Tipsy Kirk is a fucking idiot. 

Leonard recoils at the idea. The captain has gained this…habit lately. This advice-giving habit where he tells Leonard to relax, to get out there, to get laid, and every time it passes through Kirk's lips, Leonard becomes nauseous. He abhors this subject, he really does. The only thing he hates talking about more than his dating life is why he doesn’t have one. Sure, he hasn't had much of one since the divorce anyway, but whatever he did have quickly reduced to nothing after meeting Sunshine. He feels so childish even mulling his thoughts over, and how it feels pointless to consider any other woman interesting since he has already met Sunshine, who is the most interesting. Interesting and pretty. Interesting and pretty and kind. He shakes his head before he starts down his mental list (again). Somedays, it feels like his feelings will swallow him whole. It has been so long since he felt it, the wanting . Wanting to talk to her all the time, or hold her hand, or just be around her. It all makes him feel so juvenile, like he’s a lovesick teenager. She makes him feel like a lovesick teenager. It is the single most frustrating thing he’d ever experienced.

“I don't wanna associate with anyone who willingly steps foot inside this shithole,” he snaps, “C’mon man, let's go.” Kirk protests, of course, even more so as Leonard grabs him by the ear and pulls him up from the chair. He tells himself he’s doing Kirk a favor, that the last thing he needs is a hookup— that he’s certainly not taking out his frustrations on his friend. 

The pair weave through the bodies, with Kirk stumbling after his friend and out the door. The cool breeze hits them like a breath of fresh air, and Leonard takes it in. Kirk, on the other hand, furiously rubs his reddened ear. 

“What the hell was that for? Are you out to get me tonight?” 

Leonard feels a quick pang of sympathy, regretting lashing out. 

“Look, I’m sorry, but that place had me sweating like a damn sinner in church, there’s other bars, and it's getting late anyways–”

Kirk would usually push it, and Leonard could tell he wants to, which makes him all the more thankful he doesn’t.  

“Fine, fine, whatever but we are drinking when we get back to the ship,” he settles, leading the way home. 

Yorktown is cold and downright industrial. Leonard hates it. He would usually be thankful for a pit stop if it means he can feel non-artificial gravity, but, between the dirty club and Kirk’s antagonizing, he’s ready to be spacebound again. Both the Enterprise and the USS Endeavor are in Yorktown for the night, in the process of a personnel transfer. The streets are crawling with Starfleet members.

They walk in silence for most of the way, observing the larger-than-life city and the star crafts buzzing overhead. Leonard would be lying if he said he doesn’t feel a bit empty.  Perhaps the low-lit, music-blaring monstrosity would have felt more tolerable if a certain lieutenant was with him and not stuck with the enterprise night crew. 

“You know, I wouldn’t have even known that place existed if it wasn’t for Sunny,” Kirk laughs. Leonard scrunches his nose. 

“She recommended that barnyard?” he scoffs. 

“Oh god no, she told me to stay away from it. Said it was the grimiest place on this side of the universe. I just thought it sounded like a good time, y’know?” 

Leonard stares, really stares, and wonders why he keeps expecting better of Kirk. 

“You’re an idiot, and an ass. The woman gives you stellar advice, and you ignore it, and stick her with the skeleton crew.” 

Kirk stops so abruptly, that Leonard stumbles over him. 

“ I didn’t put her on the skeleton crew, she requested to be. You think I would make her work more than she already does? I’m not a tyrant, Bones.” 

What?  

“What?” Leonard says out loud. “Why would she ask to be holed up on the enterprise all leave?” 

“I mean, I would too if the alternative was running into my ex and all his coworkers.” 

Kirk laughs, Leonard’s head spins. 

“Her ex?” 

“Yeah her— she didn’t tell you any of this?” 

“She said she wanted Jameson to oversee the transfer, give him more experience or something, so you put her on his night shift.” 

“No? She wanted Jameson to do it because she used to be engaged to the Endeavors head of security.” 

Leonard blinks. And blinks again. 

“Dude, I don’t even know how to change the schedule,” Kirk adds. 

 Suddenly, despite talking to her everyday for close to a year, she feels unfamiliar. Engaged? He can hardly imagine it, nor does he want to. Pictures of Sunshine flash through his mind, and he clenches his fist. 

“Didn’t know she had been engaged,” he feigns a casual tone.

Kirk furrows his brows. 

“ You didn’t know? You of all people?” Leonard shrugs, as his stomach forms a knot. “She tells you everything, and she’s never mentioned Ryder?”

“Christ, his name is Ryder ?”

“I know! Douchebag name, right?” 

He doesn’t respond for a beat, which turns into several beats. The gears in his head turn and turn. Engaged . He doesn’t understand why the idea eats at him. He himself had been married for years. So what if she was engaged? There is no reason for him to be upset that his friend—a coworker–had an ex. 

He feels nauseous. 

Kirk clears his throat, derailing Leonard's train of thought.

“You’re right, it’s late, we should head back,” he says, offering a reassuring smile. Leonard follows him, hands in his pockets.

“Do y’know what happened?” he asks finally. Kirk casts him a sideways glance.

“What, between them? Not a clue,” Kirk says with sincerity enough for Leonard to believe it. “She wasn’t really keen on discussing it.” He pauses and looks at the ground as they walk. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it though, Bones, I think everyone sees she’s only really got eyes for one person these days.” 

“Don't start, Jim,” Leonard warns hotly, clenching his jaw. 

“Start what? I’m not starting anything. I’m just laying out the facts.” Jim hiccups. “She adores you, man, like adores -”

“Sunshine ‘adores’ everyone she meets. We’re friends—good friends, but that's all.” His patience shrinks as his annoyance grows.

Jim laughs mirthlessly.

“No, Sunshine and I are good friends. Whatever you two are is something else entirely-” 

“Anyone ever tell you you don't know when to shut up?” His tone is as cold as the night air, and Jim shuts up.

Leonard wishes Kirk would drop the subject, trip over a rock, or whatever it took to never have this conversation again. Really—what he truly wants is for everyone to stop dangling this hope in front of his face like a carrot. He’s not an idiot, he knows he spends more time with the lieutenant than his colleagues, hears her laugh more often, and knows her habits better.

 He knows what it looks like. He also knows that he's a bitter emotionally closed-off divorcee— 

He tells Jim that Sunshine is his friend because she is—and he denies wanting anything more because It's stupid to want things out of his reach. 

Frustration heats his cheeks and begins to bloom into a headache. He knows Kirk means well, but that fact does little to comfort him. 

“Alright, I’ll drop it,” Kirk surrenders, his voice soft. “But there is one last thing you should know,” He pauses at the crosswalk and turns to Leonard. Eerily stoic, his mouth pressed into a thin line. Leonard's breath hitched. 

“Ryder’s got nothing on you in terms of looks, okay? Seriously he's like, 5’7, and his face isn't at all symmetrical-”

Leonard revs up and smacks Kirk in the back of the head harder than he ever had and feels no regret. Not even after Kirk's high-pitched “ Ouch!”

“Would you quit it! You gossip like a damn schoolgirl!”

The sign blinks at them to walk, and Leonard drags Kirk across the street, fingers digging into his arm. 

“Ow, ow, I was just saying-“

“Wait a minute,” Leonard lets his friend go and smooths down his sleeve. “How do you know what he looks like anyway?” 

Kirk puts himself at a safe distance from the Doctor, cradling his arm. “Well, the operations manager would usually talk to the department heads during a transfer, but Sunshine passed him off to me. I said no at first, obviously, because I hate managing, but then she finally told me she was almost Mrs. Ryder Denver. So yeah, I spoke with him a few times, just business. Have to say though, I couldn't imagine them together. He comes off as a bit of a douche.” 

Leonard breathes deeply, reigning in the emotions that he doesn’t need Kirk to pick up on. The idea of Sunshine being engaged does enough to unsettle him without knowing that the man in question “ came off as a douche” . He feels something boil under the surface. 

“Yeah?” is all he can strangle out. 

“Yeah—He’s like a classic douchey security buff,” Kirk continues, unaware of his friend's white knuckles. “You know the kind– uptight, condescending, has one earring and thinks it's edgy-”

“Wears their uniform a size too small? Yeah, I know the type.” 

“Exactly, and Sunshine is so…so-”

“Heart-of-gold?” 

“Yeah! Opposites attract I guess, but I don't know, something was off.” 

To Leonard, the entire thing is off. All of it. Everything . He doesn’t understand why Sunshine decided he doesn’t get to know, why it is a secret in the first place, why she almost married a douche, why he cares so damn much . 

The enterprise comes into view like the sun on the horizon, and Leonard is relieved . 

“Your arm’s all right?” Leonard asks, an apology without apologizing. Jim knows this and breathes a laugh. 

“Yup, the ear’s fine too.” 

The Doctor nods, but his eyes remain trained in front of him. Through the glass window panes, he eyes the ship, eager to hide away in the familiar place. He would have opened the door for Kirk, as a gesture, but of course, the Yorktown Federation Port has to have automatic doors. He huffs, and the artificial lights illuminate his red cheeks. They approach their home in silent tandem, their shoes clinking against the hard floors. 

“You should talk to her, Bones,” Kirk breaks the quiet, head down while he taps the access code to the enterprise hull. “Ask her why she didn't mention the ex. I’m sure she has a good reason, probably one you'll wanna hear.” 

Leonard wants to be mean. He wants to shake Kirk's words off with an insult and go to bed. But he swallows his pride, and it goes down like nails.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Hope. It bubbles up within his chest, and he pushes it down. Finally, the stark white enterprise interior greets him. He breathes a little easier. 

Kirk stumbles over the first step— “ Woah ”-- and Leonard steadies him with a raised eyebrow. “Andorian ale finally catching up with you?” 

“Pfft,” Kirk scoffs. “Couldn’t catch me if it tried.” 

Leonard pauses, then laughs, the first genuine one all night, and it has Kirk grinning back. 

The enterprise is empty, its residents still on the streets they just returned from. So, without restraint, they laugh, and Kirk stumbles, and Leonard forgets for a moment about the unsaid feelings under his skin. 

Kirk is an idiot, and he’s a good friend.  

He’s happy to banter about whatever comes out of Kirk's drunk mouth and to correct him when he takes a wrong turn in his own ship. Leonard claps his hand on his shoulder and drawls, “It’s this way, captain .”

“Uhh, no , Chekov keeps the good whiskey in his locker, this way,” Kirk insists with a point down the hallway, and Leonard is amazed at his eagerness to get blacked out the night before embarking. 

“Are you out of your mind? No way. You can drink like a fish when you don't need to fly a starship in the morning.” 

“What are you, my mom ?” 

Christ.

“No, but I pity the poor woman,” he huffs and gestures down the hallway leading to his quarters. Kirk frowns and scrunches his nose.

“Raincheck, Kirk, c’mon.” 

He begrudgingly obliges, having given his friend a hard enough time tonight anyway. The yawn that crawls out of his mouth a moment later corroborates Leonard's decision. He is tired, and Kirk shouldn't drink anymore, but he’d be lying if he said those were his only motives to end the night early.

“You win this one, Bones, but next time I swear we'll be out till sunrise,” he says between another yawn and a hiccup. 

“Uh-huh. Try not to trip.” Leonard reminds himself of the virtue of patience and keeps walking. 

Kirk manages to type in his room's access code all by himself, with only a moment of squinting, and a break to roll up the black sleeves of his turtleneck. Leonard is impressed, and the bar is low. 

“Drink a bottle of water, and get some sleep, We’ll talk tomorrow.” he crosses his arms over his chest and waits for protest. 

Kirk only hums. “You headed to your room?”

 The doctor's fingers drum against the doorframe. “Was thinking I’d check in on Sunshine,” he says, blinks, and rushes out, “and the rest of the Skeleton crew, of course.  Maybe medbay too, then I’ll hit the hay.” He fleetingly wonders if that sounds believable, or at least casual. 

 Kirk smiles a genuine smile. “Sounds like a good plan, Bones. See ya in the morning, and tell her I said hi .” Before he can react, his friend waves, and the door slides shut. Then, he’s alone in the hallways, and he has to put his money where his mouth is. 

Shit . 

The way to the bridge feels daunting now, like climbing Everest. Like climbing Everest with the shittiest rope ever. Like climbing Everest with the shittiest rope ever, several pounds of emotional baggage, and a Starfleet captain breathing down his neck.  He considers just going to bed, pretending he never even mentioned the whole thing. Maybe even pretend he doesn't care to get answers. He can just leave it be. 

The desire to see her trumps all of it. 

The halls are deserted, which he’s thankful for. He doesn’t need anyone around to watch him squirm in the elevator. A deep breath, a punch of the open elevator button and—

“I told you I don't have any threes! Go fish, again .” 

He sees the back of the captain's chair first, then Starfleet-issued black boots hanging off of it. The whoosh of the door draws the attention of the room to him. Eyes sweep through the vaguely familiar faces of the night crew, all six staring at him like they are waiting for an explanation, which he doesn’t really have. The heeled black boots plant themselves on the ground, the captain's seat swivels around. His heart works double time. 

“ Leonard ? Hi! What are you doing here?” 

Sunshine’s got a hand of cards between her pointer and her thumb, and a sweatshirt pulled over her uniform dress, and it distracts Leonard for longer than it should. He clears his throat, and it shakes loose the feelings stuck there. 

“Just thought I'd check in on our hard working night crew, who is surely on task.” He descends the bridge steps. 

“Well, then, you'll be happy to hear that I am, in fact, glancing at my station every 20 minutes, and I’m the undefeated go-fish champion.” 

She waves the cards at herself like a fan, legs crossed and smile wide. 

“Undefeated, huh? Glad to see your talents going to good use.” Her smile gets a bit brighter, and she does a quick breathy laugh with her nose. For a moment there's quiet, and Leonard begins scrambling for a way to ask her the thing he wants to ask her. The bridge is crowded, for a skeleton crew, he thinks. The redshirt to Sunshine’s left breaks the silence before he can. 

“I’m not sure if I’d call it talent…I’m pretty sure she's cheating,” they grumble, and Sunshine doesn't spare a moment, whipping the chair around. He can almost see the panic fill her eyes, like she’s just been accused of a heinous crime. 

“I’m not! Are you still thinking about that last round? Because that was—”  

Even Leonard winces a bit at her shrill tone, and he’s pretty sure she just woke the navigator who had fallen asleep at his station, so he claps his hands on her shoulders. 

“Sounds to me like this card game has you wound like a spring,” he interrupts her before her voice jostles anyone else awake. 

She pouts, lip jutted out and everything. 

“Let's go for a walk,” he suggests. He doesn’t even let his nerves talk him out of it. She looks at him curiously, her eyebrows drawn. 

“I dunno, I probably shouldn’t leave…” 

“I’m sure someone else can deal cards while you’re gone,” he tells her, already offering his arm. 

The Ensign, Leonard still doesn’t know their name, waves her off. “Go, Lieutenant, It's fine. I’m sure we can handle a few minutes without you.” 

She bites her lip and cautiously loops her arm around his, leaving the captain's chair to her subordinate. 

“Alright, but don’t start a new game without me,” she warns lightly. 

Leonard doesn’t get nervous with her arm looped around his, really he doesn’t. He’s headfirst into this thing now, no room for nerves. 

She drinks her whiskey neat, he learns, and it surprises him. Surprises him even more when she downs it like a shot. 

The walk there had been quiet mostly, except for when Sunshine regaled the stories of her card game wins. 

“Did you have a nice time with Kirk?” she asks politely.

“I dunno if I’d say that, but maybe Jim would disagree.” 

She laughs lightly, and her finger traces the lip of the whiskey glass. He doesn’t know if it’s the best idea, but he refills her cup. 

There is a beat of silence, and the conversation with Kirk pushes to the front of his thoughts. There's a heaviness on the tip of his tongue, the desire to ask why . Without really knowing how to. 

“Wish I could’ve gone with you guys,” she says, her gaze downcast. There's a rare melancholy to her tone, something vulnerable woven into it. 

“You could’ve,” he tells her, and her eyes pull from the table.

“I had--”

“Yeah, I know what you– I just mean–I’m sure Kirk would have given you the night off if you asked… God knows he owes you enough favors.” 

“I guess,” she shrugs, “it wasn’t really the best night for it, though.” 

He could go along with her lame excuse, vaguely agreeing that, yeah, there will be other nights. But the ache to know what exactly goes on in her pretty head has words tumbling out of his mouth. 

“Yeah, Kirk mentioned somethin’ like that,” he mumbles, nerves permeating the sentence. 

“...what?” 

Shit.

“I mean, he may have-”

“What exactly did he mention?” Her tone holds a sharp undercurrent of something rare for Sunshine– anger.

Leonard runs a hand down his face, suddenly thinking of all the much more tactful ways he could have begun this. The gentle buzz of alcohol still in his bloodstream keeps him from panicking. 

“Nothing terrible, just that there was someone in town you wouldn’t wanna see.”

“As if ,” she scoffs. “Kirk’s never been that vague in his life.” 

“…fair enough.” 

She groans miserably, fitfully pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her hands and burying her face in the fabric. 

“You were not supposed to find out like this,” she says, muffled. 

“And how was I supposed to find out?” He asks quietly, like the question will frighten her away. 

A sniffle comes from behind her hands–the sound tugs at his heart. 

“ I don't know. Maybe someone could have told you when I’m dead and then we’d never have to have this conversation.” 

He reaches for her slowly, taking her wrists in a gentle hold and pulling them away from her face, revealing her reddened nose and watery eyes. Her hands are cold, and grow stiff under his touch. 

“Sunshine. It's an ex , not a damn intergalactic scandal. There are worse conversations to have,” he reasons. 

“You don't get it,” she tells him matter-of-factly, pulling her hands from his touch. Embarrassment quickly heats his body, and he wipes his palms on his pants. 

“I’d get it a lot more if you talked about it.” He flexes his jaw, frustration bleeding into his voice. 

She narrows her eyes, punctuating her glare with a sniffle. 

“If I wanted to talk about it, I would’ve.”

“With Kirk? Because he seems to get it.” 

“Why are you acting so—”

“Concerned? Oh, I dunno because you’re my friend?” Exasperation colors his tone.

“I was gonna say entitled,” she grits out. Her anger comes out half-heartedly, sounding more like watery sadness than anything. “I don't tell you everything, and I don't have to. You’re not my-” She sighs. “Why does it matter? I was engaged for like, a year, and now, I’m not.” 

You’re not my–

Her half sentence sticks in his mind and sends blood rushing to his head. He thinks of all the things that he is to her: a colleague, a doctor, a friend. All the things he isn’t feels like a gaping hole. 

He watches her clench her fists and force her tears back. 

“It matters because it upsets you enough to work the night shift,” he sighs, the anger he’s been holding seeps out of his hands like water. “I’m not pressing you for the latest gossip, Sunny. I’m asking because it would be lousy of me not to.” 

She says nothing, taking in his words. 

“I’m no stranger to this stuff, y’know,” he prods her gently. “My ex-wife sent me running all the way to space .” He says lightly, and the corners of her mouth twitch up briefly.

“He didn't send me running, I sent him,” she confesses, shaking her head. 

“ You ?” 

“Me. The thing is,” she shrugs, “it should have worked, y’know? Like on paper, it was perfect. Ryder and I were academy sweethearts, liked all the same shit, were top of our classes, blah, blah, blah.” She rolls her eyes. “Our friends used to tease us, say that it wasn't fair, and we were too in love.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” she says, sighing. Her eyes drift nowhere in particular. “It didn’t feel nice after a while though. It felt suffocating. I was half a person with him, we were Ryder and Sunshine–and that was one entity.” Her tears dry on her lashes, as she becomes entrenched in the memory. 

“But the person we were wasn’t me . Because he never thought my jokes were funny, or my hobbies were interesting or my friends were cool, so I was willing to throw them all out. Eventually all that was left was him. His ideas, his wants, his needs. I was backed into a corner. I should’ve left when I realized but I loved him… and I was really scared of being alone.” 

She pushes her hair behind her ears and lets out a shaky breath. 

“I was a coward, and I couldn’t leave. I wanted to try and fix it, figure out who I was, and then maybe Ryder could love that person,” She shakes her head. “I was naive. Ryder always wanted someone I couldn’t be. Someone quieter or someone better at being a person. I’m always so all over the place you know? Too much for him.”

“You’re not–”

“It's okay, Len, you don't have to say anything.” she says, meeting his eyes again, taming the budding fire in his heart. 

The idea of Sunshine being anything but completely herself unnerves him. Her jokes are funny, he can’t recall ever laughing as much before she boarded the enterprise. Her ramblings about xenobotany and classic earth songs never fail to catch his attention, even when he barely knows what she's talking about. Being around Sunshine is as easy as breathing, and he’s starting to need it as much too. 

“Anyways, he proposed our senior year, like we weren’t a sinking ship, and I said yes and pretended like the ring wasn’t a last-ditch attempt to bring us back to life.” 

Her teeth sink into her lip, her eyes dragging to her lap.

“I don't know what it was, but one night I just…broke. I couldn’t keep pretending to be someone I wasn’t, or beg to be loved.”

A few tears slide down her cheeks, she scrubs them away with her sleeve.

Leonard wants to tell her that she should never have to beg for anything in the first place, least of all love; he wants to tell her that she's worthy just the way she is. His fingers twitch with the desire to take her by the shoulders and tell her over and over that she’s perfect, that she couldn’t be too much if she tried. Sunshine has always had a magnetic pull to her, drawing in everyone she meets with her warmth. The idea of anyone taking that away from her pulls his heartstrings tight enough to snap. He holds back his anger, refraining from telling her that Ryder is an asshole who didn’t deserve a second of her time. 

The wiser part of him knows that's not what he needs.

“We had planned to be on the USS Endeavor together, but I rescinded my application. I signed up to do on-planet research instead. I wrote a long letter, left it on our bed, packed up my things, and left.” 

She coughs in a way that he knows is covering up a sob and takes a deep breath. The sound sends a pang of emotion through him.

“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. We were engaged, for Christ's sake, and I couldn’t even look him in the eye when I left him. And don’t even get me started on the fallout. We had all the same friends, and our families were so close… it was all so humiliating . Everyone expected us to live happily ever after, and then, there I was, giving him back his ring in a coffee shop.”  

She knocks back the rest of her drink, like a consolation prize for getting all the words out. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Len. I never wanted you to think of me like that, as someone who would do that.” 

“ Sweetheart ,” he says like a plea, calling her attention. “No one in their right mind would think differently of you for leaving something that wasn’t good for you– or at least they shouldn’t.” 

She's shaking her head before he finishes his sentence. 

“But I–”

“I know. You didn’t go about it the way you maybe should’ve– or the way you wanted to. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make you any less… good.”

She hiccups, her chest rising and falling rapidly as another stream of tears drips down her cheeks. He can't help himself – and even if he could, he doesn’t want to – he brings both hands to her cheeks, wiping away the salty tears. 

“It's alright,” he says gently, swiping his thumb under her eye again. “You’re alright.”

She nods, breaths finally evening out, and his hands reluctantly fall back onto his lap. 

He remembers well the storm of feelings his divorce left him with. The gulit, the lonliness, feeling like the world was ending. 

“I get it, y’know. The shitty relationship, becoming somebody you don't wanna be,” the barstool squeaks as he leans on the counter. He hasn't talked about his marriage since he told the story to Kirk years ago. It feels odd to tell it again. 

“My ex and I met in college, fell head over heels, and I proposed a year later. I thought… well, we both thought we were soulmates. There was this connection between us that I’d never felt before, and I thought this must be it.” 

“After a year ?” she gawks. He casts her a sideways glance and chuckles. 

“A perfect year, mind you. Not a single disagreement, not a bad date– every day was straight out of a damn love story or something. Until we got hitched, that is. Then it was all disagreements.”

 He anxiously taps a rhythm on the bar top. The memory still burns him now, of the fiery conflict, of the sleepless nights. 

“We were the same in all the worst ways, stubborn, headstrong, prideful. We couldn't settle an argument to save our lives. It probably didn't help that I was in the middle of residency and pulling 100-hour weeks. It was miserable. I hardly recognized myself… I know I don’t have the best temper, but I never wanted to be an angry person.” 

He lets out a slow breath, “I was mad as hell when she called it quits, said a lot of stuff I regret. But she was right to do it. We brought out the worst in each other, I was just too narrow-minded to see it. All this to say, I’m sure I would have taken the night shift to avoid her too.” 

Sunshine rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, her thumb pressing circles into the muscle. 

“I’m sorry, Len.”

He leans into her touch without thinking about it. “These things happen,” he tells her decidedly. “When something’s not right, there's nothing you can do to change that. You do the best you can with where you’re at, that's all.” He pictures himself, young and full of fire, holding onto something that had already slipped away. “Which you did, Sunshine. I know it’s hard to see now, but I promise it gets easier.”

When he drags his gaze from the mahogany bar top back to Sunshine, she's watching him curiously. 

“What am I supposed to see?”

“That you were young, and scared, and you did what you needed to for yourself. Even if it's not shit you’re proud of, it makes you who you are. You learn, and it makes you better.” 

She says nothing, silently considering his words for several moments. “Well, it better get easier soon, because it sucks .” 

He chuckles, “That it does.” 

 She reaches right past him and grabs the half-empty bottle of whiskey.

“We should toast,” she says, the melancholy in her voice fading away, probably tucked back behind a wall. “To failed marriages.” 

She’s already refilling their glasses and lifting hers to bump with his. 

“Thought you ducked out on the whole wedding thing?” he teases. 

“Fine then, to failed romantics,” she impatiently shakes the ice in her glass, “Just do it.” 

He knocks his glass with hers and agrees, “To failed romantics, and night shifts, and all the other shitty stuff.”

Her face pinches as she finishes her drink. Gingerly, she takes both of their glasses and stacks them behind the bar. 

Like ripping a bandage off and letting the wound breathe, Leonard feels lighter. As Sunshine hops off the bar stool and straightens her uniform skirt, he can see on her face that she does too. 

“Thank you for the drink, and the talk, Len,” she says, and he waves her off. 

“Don't mention it.” 

“ Totally gonna mention it,” she grins, “and when the schedule suddenly gives you two days off in a row, you’ll know why.” 

He laughs, and shakes his head, “I don’t think that's allowed, Lieutenant.” 

“I have my ways,” she says innocently, as she saunters to the door. 

He watches her go, everything she’s told him still buzzing in his head. He can hardly make sense of everything he’s feeling at once, but there's one thought that sticks out among the rest, that sits on his chest, demanding to be heard. 

“Sunshine?” he calls before she’s gone, giving into his relentless mind.

“Yeah?”

When she turns around, he’s flooded with everything he’s ever wanted to tell her. How she has seeped into every part of his life since he met her, despite his once armored heart. How she doesn’t see it, but she's changed the entire atmosphere of the bridge, pouring life into it with her energy. How she's taught him how to be a better friend, a better man, even a better doctor. How she’s not too much, she's everything. 

 “You should know, you’re never too much, that's ridiculous. Anyone on this ship would agree in a heartbeat. Don’t know what I’d– what we’d do without you,” he rushes out. “I hope you never think you need to be anything other than who you are.”

She goes still in the door frame and observes him for a moment. He flounders in her silence, wondering if he should have just kept his mouth shut. She suddenly moves from the doorway, quickly striding towards him, the sound of her boots clacking on the floor. He has no time to react before she gently places her hand on his chest. She wastes no time, leaning down and pressing a warm kiss to his cheek. 

“Thank you,” she says meaningfully, searching his eyes for a brief moment before she turns heel again. She’s out the door without him even mustering up a word to say. 

His skin heats where her lips had touched him, a crackling feeling left in their place. He lifts his fingers to the skin, ghosting over the sticky remnants of her lipgloss. 

He sits, dumbfounded, knowing he’s gone somewhere there's no coming back from.     

#guys new chapter whaaattt #theyre so close to kissing I swear #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy x you #bones x reader #leonard bones mccoy #star trek imagine #star trek alternate original series #star trek #on a cloudy day #leonard mccoy #james t kirk #star trek aos #star trek fanfiction #karl urban #chris pine

[hella1975]

hellaaa plz share your favorite dabihawks fics for all of us who want some recs into their crazy minds!!

sorry i didnt answer this straight away i was reading a 230k words fic that i wanted to finish before i added it here 😭 does anyone know what's wrong with me. therapists hate me

dabihawks rec list!!

burn it all down by dorothycanfly - an au where dabi comes back to the todoroki estate to kill shouto when he's 19 and shouto is 11, but decides instead to take his little brother with him as part of his Grand Evil Masterplan that doesn't quite go as he wanted. this is the fic i always rec first in this fandom as it's the first dabi fic i really read that felt like it Understood Him and really made me go bananas about him. it's dark and twisted and true to what i think his actual mindset would be without demonising him, and also has shouto and him being very close and the way the author writes their dynamic is everything to me like it's so true to a real sibling relationship and id die for them. it gets very smutty in the middle but if that's not your thing the plot also kicks right back up again at 100mph immediately after, and there's also a sequel still being updated that's very promising.

big reputations by phanatics - singer fake dating au!!! i absolutely love dabi's characterisation in this and the celebrity angle is handled soooo well. the miscommunication and slow burn is incredible and that's coming from a bitch who finds both tropes frustrating unless they're done to my very niche standards. im pretty sure i read this fic in one day. im not making graduation i fear.

gunshots and molotovs by ironicallystupid - this is a 14k oneshot where dabi treats hawks' gunshot wound in a distinctly dabi way and then they get drunk. this one really got to me and i think it's bc it's one fic where they feel so true to character while still, for once, both acting their age. a big appeal of dabihawks for me is that they are both ultimately just two guys in their early twenties and seeing them embody that youth and silliness was surprisingly poignant

the 'will you accept this rose?' series by satelliteblue- the famous bachelorette au! if you don't know what i mean by famous, it's bc this fic has a habit of getting people who don't even read mha fic obsessed with it. like it's genuinely addicting. i remember first finding it and being like 'bacherlorette au dabihawks? be so fr' and look where im at now, 355k words later. it's genuinely just such a fun read AND i love the drama of it AND it has the todofam angle AND an actual plot snuck into it effortlessly. one of my fav fics of all time truly and it's still updating!

perspective by theeclecticeccentric - this is the fic i just finished and when i tell you ive powered through all 230k words of it in the past 4ish days. i love the league dynamic in this with the whole found family angle. i'll say it was something i clicked on less bc this kind of au (childhood friends dabihawks brainwashed to forget each other) is what i would normally go for and more bc i have BATTERED the dabihawks tag for all it's worth so i just tried it on a whim, but im so happy i clicked this bc it wound up being so fun! i also love any fic that forces the heroes and villains to ally against the hpsc and this fic does that. instant hit with me.

#if you want more dabi-centric fics (bc those are my bread and butter to the surprise of no one) #then i recommend ao3 user theyaremycrocs for singlehandedly RUINING my mental health with every and any fic of theirs #but yeah! i tried to keep this short and sweet but genuinely a ship hasnt had me in such a firm chokehold as dabihawks since like #my haikyuu era or something. not quite zukka bc who could ever but sakuatsu are getting nervous #ask #dabihawks #mha #fic rec

[p-taryn-dactyl]

Burnt Toast and Vodka: Bandaids and Frisbees

a/n: hi! Back with another bestie!yelena drabble (i am thoroughly enjoying this little series)! This one was actually requested :) this is definitely not based around a true story of my life…not at all i hope you enjoy this <3

request: “reader does get hurt and yelena patches them up while also kinda scolding them for doing whatever dumb thing they did that got them hurt”@oliveoilpenguiny

warning(s): very slight mention of bleeding - other than that, none - fluff - Y/N might be slightly oblivious

word count: 256

“Why would you do that?”

Yelena’s voice carried through the room, her incredulous and scolding tone sounding like a mother telling off her three year old for eating a nickel. You tried to answer but Yelena just flicked antiseptic in your face.

“No, I don’t want to hear it!” She continued to dab the little rag on the tiny cut above your eyebrow, huffing when you winced.

“I didn’t see it!”

Yelena threw her hands up in the air at your response, dropping the cloth dramatically.

“You didn’t see it? What, were you on your phone?”

“No!”

Yelena took in a deep breath, like she was preparing herself for her answer.

“Then how did you not see a frisbee being thrown at you?”

You huffed, crossing your arms.

“How was I supposed to know? It’s not like I’m constantly looking over my shoulder for plastic projectiles!”

Yelena pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Y/N, we were at a dog park. There’s tennis balls, frisbees, and rabid chihuahuas everywhere!”

“Rabid chihua-”

You were interrupted by Yelena, very firmly, pressing a bandaid above your eyebrow. You looked at her with an amused expression as she genuinely looked angry.

“Yelena, it’s a small scratch, why are you being so…” You waved your hand at her, “defensive?”

Yelena sighed, shaking her head.

“Because you got hurt and that bothers me. As your best friend, I am supposed to protect you!”

You paused, snickering slightly.

“From frisbees?”

Yelena scoffed and punched your shoulder, making you fall off the ottoman.

“Shut up.”

a/n: this was very fun to write and i hope you’re not disappointed by it! thank you for reading! if anyone has any requests for bestie!yelena or the crew then plz send them in! <3

#yelena belova #yelena belova x platonic!reader #yelena belova x reader #yelena x reader #bestie!yelena #best friend!reader #best friend!yelena #bestie!yelena is top tier #my writing

[nellynello]

AU belongs to Smeetums

Prompt: Joker and Harley acid scene

Damn this took me ages to write 😭 Also as you can probably tell I have no clue what legal court rules so if I got any of the wrong I do apologize 😅 I just know a few rules up from the Depp and Heard case last year 💪

Anyway, if you have decided to read this thank you. And if you see anything that doesn't make sense or spelling needs to be corrected plz tell me.🤝

Butcher

The room was silent

As the judge reads the court document, I couldn't help to think to myself what if he did this...He couldn't of. Could he?

He couldn't murder anybody...he doesn't even murder animals... his job is just to cuts the meat off dead animals, never to kill them.

The chair creaks; fidgeting on it in the witness booth, waiting to state my testimony and follow along with the judge. I keep my eyes away from staring at anyone, I couldn't dare end up looking at him. That cold gaze was digging into my head, scooping out my brain so I couldn't think anymore.

My mouth goes dry and the pungent bitterness in my mouth appears.

I look down and see a glass of water and the documents for the case on the desk in front of me. I take a deep breath and breath out with a shaken exhale.

Now bringing my hand out slowly to the glass, I grasp it with one hand and steadily bring it towards me, the condensation on the glass covers the palm of my hand making it even more difficult to bring to my lips. Such an easy task has been made difficult due to the fact of one anomaly among us.

I take a sip and am relieved and smoothed in this victory.

I close my eyes, breathe in, take a bigger gulp than last time and then breath out. Relished and relaxed to start this court case.

Confidently I open my eyes, feeling like I've woken up from a well-deserved nap.

Attempting to put the cup down I pause my whole demeanour.

Forgetting that I was being eyed down sends a shiver down my spine.

Uncontrollable I glared to where the defendant sat.

Now my eyes have been ripped out with the stare he gives back to me. His aura is frightening but he's completely emotionless on the outside like he's dead. Dead still.

Like his victims...

He's dissecting every fragment of my thoughts, sitting in a straightjacket and human muzzle like a crazy person. I quickly put the glass down with a thud and shake my head to try and reclaim my thoughts.

Shit...

What is he thinking? What am I thinking? Looking over at him. He isn't giving any signs of wanting to get out of here. Is he guilty? But I've worked with him this whole time how did I not know? He's a killer, A murderer, an anomaly among humans. He can't even repay his sins due to the weight of them being so graphic and unforgivable...

But he's so...

Alluring.

He just makes me want to know more about him...

What makes him do this sort of stuff?

Does it give him pleasure in doing it?

Does he not care for any of the families' victims?

His face makes me want to giggle and kick my legs on my bed

His hair looks so nice to play with...so so blue...

...

And his eyes, his half-lidded gaze upon me makes wanna explode from butterflies.

I could sense my heart begin to beat a bit faster just from these thoughts.

I couldn't help but feel my eyes wander over again towards the defendant. Although my heart was racing and my stomach was in knots, there was a certain... appeal to them. Something inside me didn't want this person to go to prison no matter the charges.

But he's a cold manipulative cannibal for fuck sake of course I want him to go to prison...

Do I?

He stares back at me; it's like having a staring contest and whoever loses dies on the spot.

My heart starts to pound in my chest trying to get out, a jolt of nerves went through me as he eventually did something I didn't expect.

He smirk.

A simple smirk made me get butterflies!?  My going crazy!? What's wrong with me!?

I break eye contact for a second and start to feel my face becoming red from embarrassment. Losing the eye battle creates more tension in the atmosphere resulting in me becoming more fidgety with my hands. Gnawing on my nails, tapping my foot and playing with a strand of my hair.

My eyes are everywhere; looking at him, then looking at the members of the public, then back at him, looking at a police officer, then up at the light, then back at him...

He brings his hand up remaining eye contact, taps his nose twice and puts his finger to his lips as if to say 'You don't have to tell them' and winks at me.

Eyes widen as big as they can go. What?! He knows!? How? No... he can't know. He can't know about my tiny administration on him. Can he?

He looks around to see if anyone is watching him and finally whispers three words that make me want to curl up in a ball and never come out.

“I know everything”

My entire world freezes. How could he know? I don't think I made it noticeable and couldn't have, not when I was working at the shop with him. He was always in the back cutting all the meat...

Oh shittt...

"Miss (L/N) can you please state your testimony"  the jury states

I felt the cold air of the courtroom hit me in the face as I came back to reality. I was here to give my testimony in front of a jury of strangers, and I was terrified.

As I begin my testimony, the first words that came to mind were 'Here goes nothing' - it was almost like my heart was dropping to my stomach and my mind was racing a mile a minute.

I knew what to do. I have to be as clear and concise as possible, so I took a deep breath and began...

Hello everyone. My name is (Y/N) (L/N). I'm here as a witness to testify at this trial today because I as the defendant's employee, highly doubt that he could take a life of an innocent human being—

Objection!

“Your honour if I may I believe there might be a great amount of bias within this testimony due to the fact of the two worked together.”

One of the lawyers states.

They are talking, I don't know what about... everything's a blur at the moment trying to act convincing and not too suspicious at all.

Why am I doing this...

for acknowledgement

What if I get caught? Would it be worth it??

Of course, it would

"Miss (L/N) you may proceed with your testimony."

"Thank you, as I was saying I don't think Mr Darling can be guilty due to that I am the one who is always in the kitchen preparing for the customers. This is because I have been training and wanted to test my skills, meaning Mr Darling has to be at the front counter so the shop can operate."

I continue saying why I think the defendant isn't guilty with a few objections and overruling

trying to keep as calm as I can, tapping my foot for comfort and deep unnoticeable breaths.

"This case is now on break, anyone is forbidden to speak about this outside the courtroom" The judge states

Everyone stands and walks out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Walking down the corridor with lunch I stumbled across a room that look decently quiet. I walk in lock the door so nobody disturbs me (thank fuck the door doesn't have windows) and dump my stuff down and pull out the chair in front of me.

But something catches my eyes immediately, something blue. A blue that I can recognize anywhere.

I look up

And find the same smirk still slapped across his face.

He's so prettier in person.

I feel my cheeks burn and my mouth opens a bit unable to speak.

"I told you so"

He says. Knowing he's smiling ear to ear with satisfaction from under the mask, at the reaction he got towards him.

He stares back at me with a knowing smirk, and my heart skips a beat. Now completely flustered and unable to respond, I just stare back at him with eyes wide with shock. I can't help but feel my attraction to him grow stronger. Suddenly, the air in the room starts to feel thick and heavy as I realize I've found myself in a situation I don't know how to handle.

I now realized that he is strapped down and can't get out. He realizes

"Come on... you know you wanna let me out"

He cuts the tension like a knife going through someone. I want to let him out. I do, but. What if...

"What's in it for me?"

I say was fake confidence. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind if I'm in the room any longer and he knows that.

"I've already given you a chance of not being guilty"

Avoiding eye contact turning my head the other way to hide my embarrassment.

"That is true,

Then I will give you anything you want..."

"Wha—"

"Only if you get me out of this thing~"

He smiles but it's hidden due to the muzzle on his face

Tempting...

Undo the jacket for him

I take a while to answer. Flustered from the interaction, I begin to bite my nails and look away from him to think.

What do I want?

"Anything?"

I blush even more at the thought of getting anything I want from this man.

"Anything~"

He repeats in a teasing way

"I—"

"Question.."

I snap my neck to look at his now dilated eyes and feel like they are pulling me into the black void. He looks as if to say your taking to long so he's taking matters into his hands. He's controlling the conversation.

"Would you die for me"

Of course, I would

"Yes....."

Breathing in and out to try to calm myself down from the abrupt question

"That's too easy~ Would you....would you live for me~"

"Yes"

His eyes drop to a more intense look...

He’s serious now

The room is getting harder to breathe

"Careful. Do not say this oath thoughtlessly.

Desire becomes surrender, surrender becomes power.

You want this."

"I do"

I say subconsciously

"Come on.. say it... say it... Say ittt~

He pushes, dragging out the last word

His eyes dilate even more sending a shiver down my spine

"pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty...."

"Please..."

I finish

He's gonna make me insane

Good

"aww your so... good~"

I slowly walk up to him still holding eye contact. Every step I take is a sin in itself. What am I doing? This is wrong.

But so right

I eventually get to him and start to unbuckle and focus on the straps of the jacket.

He sits on a chair and feeling his gaze piercing into me, makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I begin to sweat.

My hands tremble as I finally finish the final strap. I know that what I have just done is wrong, my heart racing as I slowly turn to face the criminal and see them staring back at me. My face turns red, and I feel myself shaking uncontrollably. I fear that I have made a terrible mistake.

I feel myself now being engulfed in his arms. Caught off guard from this action I jump a bit but eventually completely melt into his arms. Getting a bit too comfortable. So warm

"Take the mask off"

I blush from embarrassment and hide my face on his shoulder. He chuckles. I proceed to take the mask off and pull away from his embrace, dropping the mask in the process.

"I'm sor—"

Abruptly, he pulls me back into the hug, caressing my hair in his hand and putting my head on his shoulder. He turns his head to my ear, feeling his breath on it sending another shiver down my spine.

"You did so good~"

#welcome home #wally #wally darling #butcher wally #legal ​court #x reader #welcome home barnaby #welcome home julie #welcome home frank #welcome home eddie #welcome home poppy #welcome home howdy #welcome home sally

[boyywithluv]

Okay, legit, does anyone have advice for a super bad ADHD art block that isn't "set a timer/force yourself to do it".

Because I've been going insane for weeks now. I desperately WANT to do something, but any attempt made at drawing or writing is met with my brain acting like im trying to shove my hand into a hot oven. Like, no amount of deadlines or timers does anything i just -cant-. Its honestly making me really sad because i know i want to and i don't understand why its suddenly so bad. But if i read one more thing telling me "just force it!♡" i will explode something with my mind LOL

Just. Other neuro-spiceys plz if you have advice im all ears.

#neuro spicy #help me plz lmfao #sky talks

[prettyboykatsuki]

Hii plz just ignore this if you’re uncomfortable or reply to it if you'd like to reply I really would appreciate it but I just need to get some stuff out of my chest

I feel so so bad I just cant see whats the point in my life anymore I feel as if Im just consuming and not giving anything in return I feel useless I dont know how to take a joke or how to make one I dont know how to express my feelings and emotions properly and people keep getting the wrong ideas and Im tired of explaining anything to anyone and I feel as if all of my friends aren’t really there like Im just a passing person on their life I keep losing people and I keep leaving people afraid of them leaving me sometimes and I dont get what the hell is wrong with me sometimes I wish I was never born or if I were someone else but then again I wish I had the power to keep moving and make my life better but I cant even do that I study day and night and I dont get the grade that I want while some people I knew spends their whole life on social media and they are getting full grades literally I feel like Im useless in every aspect of life and I know I shouldn’t be complaining and there are people who have it worse but I really needed to get that out of my chest and I can’t trust anyone of the people I know to tell them all of this also Im going through exams and shit so I just feel really pressured and all

Anyway thank you if you wasted your time reading this or not it doesn’t matter but I really enjoy your writings as well they make me feel alive so thank you for existing🩵

hello!

i thought for a long time today on how to reply to this. or if i should. get asks like this that are triggering can be very tricky to navigate, because on one had it is hard for me. and on the other, i care and have sympathy for you. and i think sometimes, it is easier to reach out to stranger about how you feel than people you love. so i would never blame you for that, or want to make you feel worse.

mostly, i want to say i am unqualified to help you completely. because im just a person who's live a vague concept of a life. take my words with a grain of salt.

i think the most important thing for you to remember is that everything you are experiencing is temporary. and i dont say that to dismiss you, but because i think it worth examining everything in your life and thinking that when it gets to be too much. you are worrying about so much at once, but you'll disillusion yourself in that process.

suffering, pain, excitement, joy. these are all very temporary things to feel, even when they seem like they'll go on forever. they are big, abstract concepts that will torment you near relentless if you let them. the only thing that you have with you concretely, is what you are able to do right now.

i wont tell you that life will immediately get better because to make a life that doesn't make you suffer takes so much time. it is so much work to build a good life and it is constant work - but never impossible. but i think it will quell the pain a little to take a deep breath and slow down to process what you're experiencing, which is a big brush of hopelessness that is so encompassing.

everything feels hopeless because you trying to tackle everything all at once. to me, it doesn't sound like you want to die. it sounds like you want it to be easier. it sounds like you want to burden the lessen, which ultimately means you desire a life. and you sound like you're trying very hard to do that all while worrying about everything else at the same time.

i dont know if i have any advice for you. any good advice, but if i could urge you do anything - it would be to take a deep breath and remember it will pass. it always does. and after that, sort your problems out one by one. and once you've done it, pick the thing that is most urgent that you can change, and start to work towards it. do it slowly and try to keep everything else out of your mind.

if you fail, forgive yourself. you have to forgive yourself. sometimes, the only thing you are able to do is live. or try to live. that doesn't make you useless. no human beings worth is measured by what they can and cannot do. you wouldn't love someone based on what they do but who they are.

and maybe you don't like who you are. maybe your friends aren't the right fit. maybe it will be lonely for a while. you can change it. you can find something new or maybe it will teach you to like your own company. it will pass and you will come out of the other side. but the only way to change those things is to try, and sometimes fail, and to forgive yourself after that and then try more. the world is not ending you just have to take it one day at a time.

it will be fine because everything passes unwillingly. and eventually this will just be another bad day. you're not useless. give yourself some grace for trying. and i hope it gets easier.

#return to sender #suicidal thoughts tw #suicidal ideation tw #ask to tag #i love you and it will get better #but most of all it will pass. it always does.

[greypetrel]

Orana, Morrigan, and Arwen for the character thing 💗 (and I hope your day is going well!)

Hello, Mo!

Thank you, my day... Well, has gone well, thanks xD I hope yours is going splendidly and you're having a wonderful Sunday and your throat is better!

This the tag game

Orana:

First impression: She made me sad and made all my protec instincts kick instantly.

Impression now: Same as above, i think she got herself in a terrible situation... Which could have been her saving grace, with a good job. I hope she'll have all the therapy she needs and will find all the happiness in the world.

Favorite moment: She has such little moments in the game! I like how she settles down in the Hawke mansions tho, and people making references to her.

Idea for a story: I'd LOVE to read something about her and Fenris interact and bond, honestly. Or with Leandra! Or like... Some story with her as the main character.

Unpopular opinion: I haven't read many opinions about her to know if any of mine would be unpopular? I think that with time and much sureness in herself and her capacities and in how the world isn't scary, she'll make a life for herself... Even outside the Hawkes.

Favorite relationship: I would have loved to see more of her interacting with Leandra, honestly.

Favorite headcanon: Bodahn instantly adopting her as well.

Morrigan:

First impression: Honestly I though that oh no here comes the local hypersexualised lady with boobs out in the air for reasons. Then she started speaking and between the voice, the vocabulary and her personality... Listen, Alyra wasn't as abrasive as she is now in my first plans. She became like so in my attempt to trigger the romance with Morrigan. I don't accept that it couldn't happen, no. We scammed children for her, so in my head she's bi.

Impression now: I think she's one of the most interesting characters in the saga, characterisation and morality-wise. She's rough around the edges and I love how she really had not a redemption arc but stayed as she was. Just milder with age and motherhood, but still strong in her convinctions.

Favorite moment: The reunion in Witch Hunt? MORRIGAN PLZ DON'T GO WE'RE FRIEND. Her whole positive relationship with the Warden honestly is something I love. But also her talking about Skyhold... aaaaaaaaaaaaah plz tell me more about the lore.

Idea for a story: I'd love to see something more about her life in Orlais.. And to have some headcanon about what happen to make Leliana so angry at her. But also her keeping in contact with the Warden in spite of everything. Writing and writing and telling how Kieran's is doing and how she's doing, and them visiting Amaranthine in all secrecy to visit "Aunt/Uncle Warden".

Unpopular opinion: *places a wooden casket in the middle of the square. Hops on it and clears her throat* The Dark Ritual was NOT a betrayal. (particularly because... You can say no and she will be sad because she doesn't want you to die, but she won't force anyone). ALSO: it should have been written WAY better, but I think there was a way to make her drinking from the Well of Sorrow a viable solution for a Lavellan Inquisitor.

Favorite relationship: I love seeing her with Kieran, she's just... A good mom.

Favorite headcanon: I think she's always been motherly. In the way some neglected children are: they know what it means to not be taken care of, and will do it. She's the one who cooks for the group after Ostagar. She stays on the sidelines of the camp, but will guard said sidelines. She just has her way to be unseen when caring about others, because she naturally does it, but doesn't know how to express it without sounding weak to her ears.

Arwen:

First impression: My first approach to Tolkien was seeing the Fellowship of the Ring movie. I was starstruck when she appeared and in the river scene, I remember playing Arwen for LONG after I saw the movie (and until The Two Towers was out in cinemas and Eowyn became my favourite)

Impression now: I love her still, your honour. Eowyn may be closer to my heart, but you can't honestly hate Arwen. Tolkien knew how to write women. It's true that there could be more! But the ones we have? One stronger than the other, even the ones, like Arwen, that doesn't participate in battles. Galadriel in Rings of Power is 10 times a woman from a Tolkien book than Tauriel ever was. Arwen is intelligent and clever and a good Queen in the book, and she deserves more credit. She's strong in her own way, she's just the Healer of the group that stays out of the action.

Favorite moment: As for above, I know it's from the movie but I'm affectionate. "If you want him, come and claim him."

Idea for a story: Boromir lives. Boromir gets absolutely rabid about Eowyn making heart eyes at Aragorn. Boromir yells at Aragorn to tell her to stop, that he's old and has a girlfriend he loves. Aragorn doesn't want to hurt Eowyn's feelings and she doesn't listen ("Age is relative and well your girlfriend isn't here..."). Boromir writes to Arwen (Legolas, the little shit that he is, gives him the address). Arwen travels south and single-handedly fixes EVERYTHING by herself. Because you know. Women in Tolkien are a few because otherwise there wouldn't be a story, they would just fix things without even getting their hair in disarray.

Unpopular opinion: I get rabid every time someone says she's a bad character in the book and that the movie did her more justice. No. Sorry, but no. You can like Movie!Arwen better, that's fine. Book!Arwen is not worse. Take Arwen away from the book and good luck in having Aragorn move his royal butt and stop being your local Bear Grylls.

Favorite relationship: I'd love to see her interact with her brothers, honestly.

Favorite headcanon: She'll be an active part in politics when she'll become Queen. She's an elf, she's educated, she'll be a great Queen and will be listened and loved and cherished. Also, as children she was more destructive than her siblings. She had the worst plans, but she was better at playing the innocent, cute child with Dad Elrond and always got clean and never got punished.

#characters opinion meme #dragon age #lotr #orana #morrigan #arwen #I can agree with people who disagree with me and see their point BUT if they tell me “Tolkien hated women” #No. #Fuck no. #Read the chapter of the Silmarillion about Beren and Luthien and we'll talk again about it. #Tolkien compensates quantity with QUALITY which is something Peter Jackson didn't understand at all #Fucking ROSIE COTTON is as epic as Sam <_<

[softguarnere]

Miscellaneous Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @ronald-speirs 💕 Came at the perfect time, because I also needed a distraction

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

Absolutely loved going to Virginia as a kid, and I think all my best memories were made there

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

Finally taking the leap and submitting poetry to journals recently 😬 No matter the outcome, I'm proud of myself for trying

Favorite books?

PJO, TCON, THG. Also the book "The Kingdom of Matthias" is so freakin' wild, everyone should definitely read that at some point, because it totally proves the whole "people have always been people" thing.

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

My dogs!

Favorite thing about your culture?

That we're still here 💪Also I love the way the language works

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

I watched BOB in high school, but I didn't join the fandom until about a year and a half ago

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

Heck yeah I have! Fierce Valor is definitely one of my favorites - so well written and really does a fantastic job of inspecting Speirs from all sides and giving him a fair depiction (which, as a historian, I love)

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Guarnere (everybody act surprised). Idk, I think the moment in the back of the truck when Dick tells him that he's not actually a Quaker, lol, his laugh always cracks me up

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

I write fics! Mainly for BOB, but I've written for a few others recently

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

Probably Ralph Macchio, just because I feel like my mom and I are always watching something that has him in it. My Cousin Vinny is definitely my favorite, and not a day goes by that I don't quote it as a form of communication

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

Laugh at me if you want, but the "You're going to have to be the bravest you've ever been!" line from Bluey has been getting me through it lately ("it" being scary senior year stuff and also an upcoming doctor appointment).

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

According to a color analysis thingy, I am a true/cool summer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Do with that information what you will

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

I've never had a beta reader before, but if anyone ever wants to be, then hell yeah, come be my beta reader! (And I am also willing to read for anyone else!)

Three things that make you smile?

When the weather is good, when someone tells me that something made them think of me, and when I find little notes hidden in books that my late grandmother left me

Any nicknames you like?

Dove actually is my nickname hehe

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

How do I tag the entire HBOWar fandom? Everyone plz consider yourselves tagged, because I genuinely love seeing all of y'all on my dash

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Probably just stay in my house lol. Ummm, idk, if it came down to it, I would use my bow and arrows against the zombies and hope that it would work

Favorite movie?

The Outsiders will forever be so special to me🥺🫶🏽

Do you like horror movies?

No, because I love being able to sleep at night

Tagging: (but no pressure!) @mads-nixon @almost-a-class-act @dcyllom

#thank you for tagging me :) #tag game #about the author

[thinlinez]

15 Questions

Thanks to the lovely mutuals @neondiamond @justalarryblog and @beardyboyzx for the tag, it was so fun reading your answers to knowing more about you guys :")

Are you named after anyone? Yes, my ma was obsessed with Drew Barrymore who played a girl named Josie in Never been kissed so... she named me after her... Does that count?

When was the last time you cried? I think it was Friday, when Lou announced Asia dates...

Do you have kids? Nope

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not really, I think I'm not that witty ahhaha

What's the first thing you notice about people? Their expression!

What's your eye colour? Dark dark dark brown

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings!

Any special talents? Hmmm... I'm very caring...?

Where were you born? Taiwan!

What are your hobbies? Writing, watching Youtube, reading and going shopping for unnecessary things!

Do you have any pets? No I don't but would love a dog!

What sports do you play/have you played? I played all kinds but never been part of an official team... I think I like playing badminton the most!

How tall are you? 170cm! So about 5 7?

Favourite subject at school? Hmmm... English cuz then I can relax in class hahahah and Japanese cuz I love the teacher!

Dream job: Open my own store, idk what I'll sell though, I just want to be my own boss and make a space where people can chill! So maybe a cafe?

Tagging @marchessa @brightgolden @greenblueish @chai-hat-tea @ploomsgarden @huggieshalo @iminthisstanshit @keniswanderlust @ohpleaselarry @travelingwinchester plz tell us more about you ;)

#tag game #fun #about me

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

I cannot express how in love I am with Terms of Endearment! It’s definitely the best HOTD fic I’ve read - the writing, the dialogue, the plot, the characterization, the grottiness! It fulfills my little depraved soul (seriously I should not be enjoying a fic about literal incest this much - it’s a testament to your skills as a writer). Chapter 10 had me crying, screaming, throwing up! I’ve reread it multiple times and I can’t wait for chapter 11. Life’s been tough for me right now and this has been something to look forward to so thank you - I can’t wait to see what you do next!

I hope this doesn’t come off as weird - I’m autistic and sometimes (most of the time) stuff I say comes off weird or awkward, especially in writing. I just wanted to let you know how much I love this story and your writing❤️❤️❤️

Hey, nonnie! Please don't ever worry about 'weird' - I assure you that a) you most certainly didn't, and b) I'd love you even if you did. I mean, I'm weird; we all weird! YAY! You sound like the sweetest freaking person, and if anyone else has told you different then they can get bent.

Lol, the incest thing is the part that amuses me the most about the interaction I've received; like, I'm regularly posting smut of a creepy dude banging his just-legal niece, and people are like 'yaaaaas, more plz'. Obviously, in real life we're all like "noooooo", but the Targs do their own thing and the taboo is fun to explore in fiction. I'm thrilled that you're enjoying my writing - I'll be honest, I've been feeling a little frazzled about it lately, worrying that I'm doing too much explanation where I could let the story just flow. I've sorta backed myself into a corner by pacing it the way I have, so I have to put extra detail in to make the story flow from chapter to chapter. I could have written a 20+ chapter pregnancy fic, but that honestly sounds draining and given that so much of it would've been fairly menial and dull, not the most exciting read. So I'm hoping that, by the time I get to the end, it comes together as a fic that tells the story it needs to with the amount of chapters and writing style it needs to have. I don't know. Sometimes the words are just words on the screen and I'm like "what does it all meeeeean???"

Woomp, I digressed a fair bit there. Back to what I was saying - thank you so much, nonnie! I'm glad to be delivering some depravity for ya! And I'm sorry things are rough for you at the moment. Sending positive vibes your way!

#fanfiction comments

[littlebluespoon]

hello~ how are you doing? I hope the holiday season isn't stressing you out too much.

question/request for advice (this is open to the masses tbh so if anyone wants to help a fruit out plz do) how do you write dialog/smut without wanting to snap your own spine in half?? I have been staring at this word document for a day an a half and cringing at every line I put down, I can never get over the mental barrier of someone I know finding my account and judging what I write

ah the mortifying ordeal of being seen 😩

-🍎

Hey Apple, just family being family really. How’s yours going?

Honestly I still feel like that sometimes. The more you do it, the easier it comes to you. Practice really does help. Sometimes I imagine the characters as sims if I’m really struggling. It helps add a layer of desensitisation and reinforces the whole, it’s fiction and doesn’t really matter. It does but it’s fiction so it can be however you want it.

As for the someone you know finding your stuff, in the beginning in used a nickname (still do really) on tumblr and I didn’t really post a lot of identifying information. But now my parents know I write fanfic and my best friend will read stuff if I’m stuck with it, it was actually harder telling my bff than it was my parents because I knew my parents would never see this corner of the internet and I didn’t tell them where I post so even though they know they can’t find it. And as for my bff, I sent her my ao3 link and said, read it if you want. But that was only after a lot of reassurance from her that she wouldn’t judge. And she hasn’t.

No one else in my life knows what I do and having the small anonymity on tumblr helps keep the whole fear at bay because they’d never know it was me.

I hope that helps Apple! 😅

#asks for blue

[thatblondeperson]

I don't want to come across as a whiner or someone just complaining as an angry shipper and if my question feels like this you can ignore it but based on the Tim Drake Robin issue 1 and the interview with Meghan do you think she's throwing Tim and Stephanie's relationship under the bus/downplaying it?

I don't think it's any more whiny than my answer will be.

The interview is meh. She's right in why Bernard was the chosen character:

There IS enough of a hint that you could ignite something from it. Hopefully her calling him dear will give us something of a character with him.

I think this is fucking stupid because no he does not:

I think that this is super bland:

It's just not a new way to tell things, and his track record with dating has been his fault because of his Robin secret most times, and struggling to find balance. We all know who broke that mold, I'll get to her. But it's just...we're doing the same thing again. We do it all the time with Tim. Maybe we let Tim be the curious one instead and have the other person freak out about messing up, idfk.

This is annoying and immature imo:

Comic book writers, plz stop playing games with Twitter and just focus on writing something with a touch more substance.

As far as the comic itself.

Let's just get this out of the way...I hate this art...

It's very stylized and dynamic in it's own way, and it's very squishy creepy...if that makes sense? Like if you put some creature feature monsters in a lava lamp. It's not quite right for a Tim story imo, I'd probably dislike it less in a more appropriate context. Love the backgrounds and filler panels, but the colors and the stylizing of the people don't give me "fun new Robin run about figuring yourself out!"

This of course is where I get frustrated.

Obviously it is correct that this is something Tim has never felt before, and it's different. Those are both beautiful statements that can be said without throwing any of his other relationships under the bus. Remember, as of YJ 2019 #5, he got all his prior timeline memories back.

He knows about Ari, Steph, Cassie, Zo, Tam, and Bernard but we're there so I'm just gonna talk ladies here.

There's obviously merit and beauty to him feeling like another part of his repressed self has reemerged or finally getting to see the light of day in his new relationship with Bernard. he feels more wholly himself than he has before, in a new way. BUT! Do we have to say that previously he never felt that way, or that those relationships have less merit on the road to discovery because he settled? It’s not like...really saying that but I’m concerned that we’ll get there.

We know how much he loved Ari, how he planned to be with her for a LONG time, how deeply he respected her and adored her. You can't tell me Ari was a settle. She was his first love.

Cassie is a maybe in the context of why the relationship started, but Cassie was his best friend for YEARS whom he trusted and adored, and I don't think he would look back on that relationship poorly. Just consider it a misstep whilst mourning a shared loss.

You cannot tell me that Tam and Zo weren't the ones settling for TIM. The boy was a mess and those two had far too much patience while he essentially BS'd his way through life and those respective relationships.

And Steph. Obviously we all know she wasn’t a settle.

I have read posts that describe “settle” as more of a settling for being straight, or less than his authentic self, and that’s all well and good, I just don’t like the word choice as it obviously could have other less kind connotations about anyone he was previously romantically involved with.

I think that. as others more eloquent than myself have stated, that Meghan doesn't always write super great dialogue and her stories are choppy. But you know anon, we're only on issue number one and there is room for things to expand. I'm not the target demographic of this, I'm just a person online being whiny about the overuse of the trope of "you're only really in love once!!! all other times were fake!!!" And I don’t even know if that’s the direction this will go tbh.

I think this run aside from Tim's queer relationship, is going to be boring. I think the story is a vessel for Tim and Bernard to be showcased as a cute couple, and that's wonderful, but I hope they at least give Bernard something other than being Tim's boyfriend. I don't want him to just be a damsel. It's 2022 Meghan. Plz...

More notes for me that worry over the quality of writing?

Very big eye roll here. Yes...it's a Tim solo. It's never been done and it's going to be wildly original this time. Look, we're getting meta!

The thing I did love about it? This shit.

Very Tim, I love to see it.

It's great that Tim is getting another solo arc that will end up being a bit bland I think with the exception of cute queer cuddles. Bernard is a chance for a different and exciting love story for Tim, but one that doesn't have to negate his past loves. Everyone is a piece of a greater puzzle and all of those pieces can be equally important in different ways. I know this arc is going to showcase the importance of this new chapter in Tim’s life, and we’ll see where it goes. If it throws his other relationships under the bus, we’ll discuss the issues then. Word choice is iffy imo, but the story will tell more.

But this comic isn't for me. There a people in the demographic who both love and hate it and I'm just meh with a side of mildly frustrated.

#personal #ask tbp

[theuncommoncorner]

@maryjanewannabe ASK: Ok idk if thisll make sense but im trying. I work in the food industry while i get my degree. I wanna know what kiba, shikamaru, kakashi, kankuro, and gaara would do if you cane home mad after work because of the creepy comments customers make? (An imagine plz btw your writings are so freakin cute they make me so happy)

Note: Character limit is four per headcanon request and one per scenario. Turned this into headcanons and had to cut out Gaara.

KIBA

Immediately hunts them down. Homeboy doesn’t care! Unless you’re too tired and just want to stay home he’s going after them.

After his initial outburst of anger, he asks you if you’re alright. He’s a caring s/o and he checks on them a lot in general. Once you reassure him he's calm-fired up still-but calm.

Kiba doesn't hurt anyone but he does give them an earful while Akamaru is growling next to him and barking as if he's punctuating what Kiba is saying. It'd be cute if Kiba didn't look so pissed off.

SHIKAMARU

He's in the middle of cleaning his Shogi board while you explain what happened. He gets a grimace on his face as the story continues.

Once you finish your vent, he asks if the manager/supervisor/owner does anything and if you've been standing up for yourself. He understands the need to be polite and hospitable while working, but there is a line that shouldn't be crossed.

He asks if it's alright he swing by every once in a while. When he catches someone being a creeper while looking around he reads them to filth.

KAKASHI

He doesn't react much but will ask questions. "What'd they look like? Did they have a name? Someone we know?"

He acts like it isn't a big deal, but four days later the creeper is at the store apologizing to you if there was a particularly unpleasant person.

After asking Kakashi what he did to the creeper he simply states, "I handled some business."

If this happens on multiple occasions, he'll ask some friends to keep an eye on the place or tell the owner to take care of their employees better. He's never been a fan of creepy customers and is the type of person to step in when out and about by himself.

KANKURO

*Cocks gun* "What'd they look like again?"

He's ready to find every single person that said something creepy and take care of them. He's actually surprised anyone would bother them. Maybe they aren't with the ins and outs of the village. Maybe they're just stupid. Kankuro doesn't care since they were stupid enough to bother you at work.

If you're the type of person that tries to stay polite, he'll commend you for it, but instruct you to tell them off next time.

If you're the type of person to tell someone off or ask them to leave he will also praise you for that. However, he's a bit more...hmmm...spirited when he replies to you.

#kiba #kiba inuzuka #kiba x reader #kiba headcanons #shikamaru x reader #shikamaru headcanon #shikamaru nara #kiba headcanon #kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi headcanon #kakashi hatake #kakashi headcanons #kankuro #kankuro x reader #kankuro headcanon #kankuro headcanons #creeper at work

[sunarintoes]

Pretty Setter Squad Boyfriend Headcanons

part one can be found here II wc: 2.4k II includes: kageyama, suga, kenma, akaashi, semi and oikawa II atsumu and shirabu 

rewriting because i cringe at the old hcs 😭

✗ Kagggggsss

✗ The emotionally constipated blueberry <3 oh yeahh 😎

✗ Okay well first off he can barely process his emotions (*cough* evidently *cough*)

✗ When you two first started going out he was quite shy and unsure of what to do so you may have had to guide him a bit, but if youre equally shy then it just would have taken longer to get to where you are now; oh and if that was the case it probably took some random burst of energy/confidence from either one of you to make the first move. 

✗ He will buy you milk but uf you hate it (like me 🤢) he will buy you another drink - like juice :D

✗ I dont think he will be the most affectionate, it’s not his love language - and neither are words haHAH. His love language is most likely quality time and gift giving.

✗ He does like to cuddle though 😳

✗ In fact he really likes to :D his favourite is when youre sitting in his lap while he watches a volleyball game (at home - he hates pda). 

✗ This brings us to our next, short point. Kageyama absolutely despises pda, he just thinks its something meant for closed doors and he does not believe that he has to display his relationship for the whole world to ogle at. The most he will do is light hand holding - mostly just linking your pinkies though.

✗ When it comes to height he does not care if you're smaller or taller than him ← but bb, please don't tease him about his height if he’s shorter because he will blow a fuse.

✗ He alternates between small spoon and big spoon, kinda depending on his mood. 

✗ BOY O BOY does he get jealous. Uh please reign in your setter >:( 

✗ Its mostly due to the fact that he’s insecure about himself - he thinks you will leave him like everyone else (in middle school - yes, he is still traumatised from it.)

✗ When he does get jealous he might be snappy to the other person and glare at them or be snappy at you and glare at you. When this happens please give him space because he needs it to clear his head. When he feels better he will come up to you and hug you into his chest so that he can’t see your face and you cant see his, then he will mumble an apology.

✗ Ever since you two began to date he has practiced apologising and getting better at apologising, this is because his inability to admit to his own mistakes was a sour patch in your relationship that almost ended it but he really did not want to lose you so he sucked up his pride and worked on what he had to; of course you also worked in what you had to. God I love character development 😩

✗ Dates are mostly at home dates or dates revolving around volleyball. If you're not into volleyball, Kageyama would not date you, it's something he is so passionate about and loves with every breath he takes (like you) and he refuses to compromise one love for the other. 

✗ ooooh he likes arcade dates a well! He thrives in a competitive environment. If you're not competitive and don't want to compete against him then he’ll compete for you - against the machines lol. Of course you play as well! But i doubt youre as competitive as this blueberry, and if you are - well i guess at the end of the day youll both be stacked in tokens 🤠

✗ Sugawara my beloved <33

✗ He. Is. So. Affectionate! 

✗ Mans loves skin on skin contact ykwim?

✗ He is down for pda and does not care what others think - only what you think <3. 

✗ I mean he might make out with you in public if you ask nicely 

✗ Dates are very fun with him, he’ll take you to cafes, to amusement parks, to carnivals, to movies and all the like. He’s a cliche lover and he’s proud of it.

✗ Your first kiss happened on New Years Eve/Day. The two of you sat on the roof of his house and watched as the fireworks lit up the starry sky of Miyagi and chanted the count down together. The second ‘one’ left your lips he grabbed your face (softly!!) and pulled you in to crash his lips against yours. 

✗ Suga loves to cuddle, preferably face to face because he just thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world. 

✗ He is not the most jealous person, he definitely does get jealous but never of strangers. It's more when his close friends or your close friends get a bit too comfortable if that makes sense? He normally plays it off with humour and messes around because he acknowledges that he is insecure and that it is most likely him thinking of the worst case scenario; however if he really does start to worry and get jealous then he will sit you down and talk about it with you. To him, communication is key. 

✗ Ngl Kenma is definitely in my top 3 favourites. 

✗ I may or may not be a Kenma kinnie 😳🙈

✗ i love my non-toxic gamer boy <33 anywho: no matter what ANYONE says, kenma is definitely affectionate. In fact I'd say he’s one of the most affectionate boyfriends. As we all know, he is shy and introverted but he likes to hang around and spend time with people he likes. He also talks a lot to them. So I hc that he’s a bit of a chatterbox with you and it makes him really happy when you let him talk about a game or a theory he has. He’s a great listener so you can count on him to pay attention to what you say.

✗ if you didn't already have one, he bought you a switch. He loves video game dates especially when he can't see you in person (*cough* lockdown *cough*) 

✗ he loves when you sit on his lap when he plays video games. I know everyone talks about sitting on their partner’s lap as some sexual thing and yeah that can happen but most of the time he’s really soft with you and just enjoys being close to you. Loves when you cuddle into him while he plays so that he can place his head on yours or your shoulder. 

✗ i think he is a bit shy when it comes to kisses but definitely warms up after a while. He absolutely refuses to sleep if he doesnt get your goodnight kisses. He loves to kiss you on your nose and your cheeks the most. He loves when you kiss him on the forehead and the nose <3

✗ kenma is not one for pda, it's just not his vibe. He prefers intimacy and privacy; his relationship is not a movie for the world to watch and gawk at. Especially timeskip!kenma. Though that does not mean he wont ever show you skinship in public, occasionally he will softly hold your hand and maybe press a light kiss to your cheek. 

✗ in terms of jealousy, he is moderate. Kenma, as we all know, has incredible people reading skills, so he understands the situation pretty clearly and knows when you’re uncomfortable/what you think of the situation. Most of the time you can deal with the unwanted attention and he doesnt get jealous, but he does get insecure. He shows this by going quiet and looking away when you look at him, you can cure this by giving him hugs when you get home. 

✗ Akaashi my beloved <3 he’s so pretty i can't even-

✗ ugh! Just imagine him in a dark/light academia aesthetic. 

✗ perfection. 

✗ akaashi is the sweetest most attentive boyfriend, he loves you to pieces and never fails to let you know. He tells you he loves you every morning and every night. He probably makes meals for you and leaves notes in that have a sweet comment like “i love you, you're the best <3” 

✗ he love back hugging you BUT also receiving back hugs 🥺✨

✗ akaashi is a booknerd and an introvert. Please cuddle up to him and let him read his book to you. 

✗ there are only 2 things that can restore his social battery: sleeping and you.

✗ which means he wants cuddles when he’s tired 😊

✗ he is not jealous. He just doesn't get jealous, maybe annoyed if the third party is being a bit too pushy and you're clearly uncomfortable, but he just never feels jealous. No matter how hard you may try to make him jealous (plz dont cause that's kinda toxic imo) he just won't feel that way.

✗ definitely the ‘mom/dad’ as he carries sinister, pads, bandaids → a whole first aid kit basically, everywhere. Bb must be prepared. 

✗ dates are so sweet with him, cute niche cafes and dimly lit libraries. Maybe the occasional abandoned building. He loves spending time with you, so really he's happiest whenever he’s with you; having coffee at McDonalds or a niche cafe won't change anything. 

✗ he’s hard to pinpoint for pda. I feel like he’s indifferent about it. He probably prefers to keep it indoors or to just small and sweet gestures (no making out in public sorry-). It definitely comes down to your preferences, if you don't like it then he won't and vice versa.

✗ semi semi semi semi semi semi

✗ omg mr musician 

✗ he definitely plays guitar - lead guitar and bass guitar. 

✗ skilled fingies for sure 😗

✗ boy why are musicians so hot???? 😫😫😫💦💦

✗ he writes songs about you. Semsem has a bit of trouble saying exactly how he feels, so he writes it and sings it to you with a small little smile and eyes full of love. 

✗ off topic but Semu has the best music taste in haikyuu

✗ he loves hugs so much <33 please hug and cuddle with him 24/7

✗ very affectionate, he’s always touching you someway. Loves kissing your forehead. 

✗ he is jealous. Yeah definitely. He writes songs about being jealous 🗿 not that you mind of course ‘cause they're bangers. I think he might get snappy when he’s jealous, not directly at you but at the other person. He definitely gets a bit bitchy. Sometimes he acts that way to you so you've just gotta slap some sense into him. Say something like “what's your problem?” or “tell me what your problem is so i can help fix it.” ← that's probably the best thing to say. 

✗ afterwards he’ll just snuggle with you until he feels better. 

✗ he asks for your opinion about his songs all the time, please be honest (but also praise them if you like them lol)

✗ he takes you to niche spots he finds, like hidden concerts and stuff. Loves when you come to his gigs <3 oh and when you scream for him (in more ways than one). 

✗ dates are cute and fun. Mostly walking around together → carnivals, main street, farmers market. Those kind of things. 

✗ when it comes to pda he loves it. Loves being able to show the world who his s/o is. If you don't like it then he will tone it down and only do what you’re comfortable with. If you're also into pda then he will happily make out with you anywhere (you're one of THOSE couples 🤢 /j) 

✗ all round best boyfie <3

✗ oikawa 😳 have i told y'all how much i love him? Oikawa is the best written character, no cap, he is so complex and real it's crazy. It's so fun to write about him because you can pick him apart, you know his flaws, his weaknesses, his nightmares but also his strengths and dreams. Anywho i'll stop ranting now but i just love writing for such a perfectly imperfect character-

✗ he puts up a cocky exterior but thats all false. He's as scared as you are, he's scared that you'll leave him like his exes because of how obsessed and focused he is on volleyball. However he is a changed man, he's learned to balance his priorities. If you ever feel like you're being sidelined please communicate with him. 

✗ he values communication above all else and wants nothing more in a partner than for them to also value communication.

✗ back to the point → if you feel insecure of your relationship and that volleyball is taking too much of his attention let him know. He will change that. To an extent → he may have an important game coming up which is why he is focusing more, but he will always find time for you. 

✗ he never forgets to text you good morning and good night. He also sends you wholesome memes and makes sure you're taking care of yourself - they're like reminders for him to also take care of himself. 

✗ he is both jealous and insecure. Everyone who gets too close to you or spends a lot of time with you, he is jealous of. Jealous because he wishes he could spend more time with you but he knows he can't - not without jeopardising his volleyball career. He's also insecure, because he knows you could just leave him for a more fulfilling, more attentive, more balanced relationship. You know that too, I mean, of course you could leave him but no one would be as good as him. No one could match up to your beautifully flawed boyfriend.

✗ he is affectionate, very, very affectionate. He loves you so much. And because he spends so much time on volleyball, anytime with you he's touching you - memorizing every dint, every curve, everything about you so that he won't ever forget. 

✗ Oikawa has trouble sleeping unless he's with you, he wants to sling to you in his sleep and be grounded and remember that he is loved and cherished and appreciated y'know?

✗ pda is not an issue for him. He doesn't care what anyone else says or thinks :P in this relationship the only opinions that matter are his and your’s. Tell him you're uncomfortable with something and he won't do it, and vice versa. But otherwise, like Semi, he won't mind having a good makeout session with you in the middle of the street ;)

#haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader #haikyuu fluff #Oikawa Tōru x reader #Oikawa headcanons #pretty setter squad x reader #pretty setter squad headcanons #Suga x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara headcanons #kageyama headcanons #kageyama x reader #semi x reader #semi headcanons #semi Eita x reader #Akaashi x reader #Akaashi headcanons #kenma x reader #kenma headcanons #Haikyuu headcanons

[onovnii]

Headcanons of Levi Mammon and Asmo reacting to their boyfriend coming out as a trans man plz? 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

# mc comes out as trans

feat. mammon , leviathan , asmodeus x m!mc

summary. how the brothers react to you coming out to them ^^

cw. none, just fluff! 

author n. i wish i had more trans mc hcs 😭 i love writing them bc..i’m trans too 😏. unrelated (but related) but my personal hc is that all the obm cast isn’t cis. they’re not even human 😭 (besides solomon but i hardly think he cares) *umibe no etranger fans heyyy

coming out can always be challenging. without knowing the other persons views, it can be scary too.

it takes you a while to get the courage to tell him. you rehearse the scenario over and over in your head, hoping it goes smoothly.

after sending him a text, saying to meet you in your room, you take a deep breath to calm your nerves. your boyfriend came into the room a few minutes later and sat beside you, asking what was wrong.

you hesitated a little, but you trusted him. deep down you knew he’d love you regardless of what you identified as.

mammon.

▸ it took a while for the information to settle into his head

▸it made you kinda nervous tbh......

▸ but once it did, mammon pulled you into a hug.

▸ he could tell this was important to you, and wanted to show that it meant even more to him as well.

▸ he’s really happy to know you trusted him enough to tell him.

▸ i mean of course, he’s your first after all!

“i can tell this is real important to ya so, let me know if i can help, yeah?”

▸ keeps his word :)

▸ if you told him before you began transitioning, mammon helps with whatever you need.

▸ need a binder that’ll fit? he’ll look for the best one!

- want shorter hair? he’s got you covered— er… well not him exactly, he’ll probably just ask asmo. but still !!!!

▸ you can even borrow some of his clothes if you want !!

▸ hell, he’ll take you shopping for some of the best outfits too. whatever fits your preferences!

▸ gotta keep his man up to date on the latest trends! :V

▸ if you’re on T and are comforting with it, he’ll even help you with that too :)

▸ idk if this counts as nsfw 💀 buuuut if you wanted, he can get you a few packers if you’re feeling especially dysphoric down there. 

▸ if you’re planning on getting surgery, he’ll be with you throughout the whole thing !! …though mammon will be a little nervous about you going into surgery… he keeps looking at medical failures and silently hopes yours go well.

▸if you do get top surgery... well, mammon gets a little panicked every time he sees the scars...how much did it hurt?? are you okay??? if you’re insecure about them he knows how to make them less visible....

▸ he’s just worried !! not used to seeing humans post-op, specially not ones he cares about.

▸ he does however help you save up for any other surgeries you want :) 

▸ if you wear binders...he’s a bit aggressive about your binder 🧍🏽

���he read about how unhealthy it is for humans to wear it for too long and he got reaall nervous about it

▸ what do you mean it can hurt your ribs??? what the hell?? how long have you been wearing it for-

▸ he sets up a timer…😭 if you wear it for too long he’ll get fussy about it.

▸ he’s just worried…he convinced himself you’ll die if you wear it for two days straight 😭😭 (me)

▸ every little milestone is celebrated :)

▸ you grew facial hair?? your voice is a lot deeper? you got surgery??

▸ he’ll congratulate you and treat you like an absolute king.

▸ mammon loves you, to the moon and back. no matter what, you’re still his mc, through and through.

▸ he’ll do this regardless but he’s always showing you off...... like.... “look at how much better my boyfriend is compared to yours!! lol!!” he’s insane let him be.

▸ if anyone gives you a hard time he’ll get real protective about it. like sure, he trusts you to hold off on your own, BUT- if they’re persistent...then he’ll be there to take care of it for ya lol

▸ on the days your dysphoria is especially bad, he’s there reassuring you about every little insecurity.

▸ if it’s like “shark week” he’s going to be even more affectionate! always there with whatever you may need. 

▸ he’s got your back! always.

leviathan.

▸ his first thought is “same”

▸ nah but he understands! he knows what it’s like to be uncomfortable in your own body and wishing you were built a different way.

▸and then it dawns on him...you told him something so personal....

▸ levi holds back his tears after realizing you trusted him with this information. (forgive him he’s not used to being confided in like that hhasjhd)

▸ for a while, he doesn’t really react. he’s not sure how to.

▸ eventually he puts a hand on your shoulder and reassures you he loves and accepts you.

▸ it doesn’t really change his views on you. you’re still his henry! (he does start comparing you more to henry rather than ruri-chan. subtle difference but it’s sweet)

▸ on days when your dysphoria is especially bad, levi surprisingly is such a great comfort.

▸ you never have to tell him, he somehow already knows.

▸ it’s like he can sense the negative emotions or something.

▸ either way, levi will always invite you to his room.

▸ you need someone to vent to? he’s listening to every word.

▸ you just want a distraction? he’s the KING of distractions.

▸ knows how to get your mind off things easily.

▸ games, anime, shows you like, or just lounging around n’ talking, anything! despite his reserved nature, levi knows how to keep a conversation rolling. 

▸ if you do decide to vent, he asks if you want to just confide in him or want advice.

▸ if you just want him to listen, he’ll do so without any interruptions. 

▸both of you will sit for as long as you want in his bathtub, while he absentmindedly plays with your hair (if u let him lol)

▸ if you want advice on anything, surprisingly he’s got a bunch. levi’s dealt with his own gender issues in his life before.

▸when you’re the living embodiment of envy, its hard not to be jealous of others- especially when they were born in a way you weren’t.

▸he tells you what helps him either feel less dysphoric or helps him calm down when things get especially bad

▸helps you try like a thousand things before you find ur own special niche that helps :)

▸ levi knows what its like to drown in self doubt and negativity, and hates seeing you go through something similar.

▸ it’s hypocritical of him, sure, but he’ll always reassure you of any lingering concern you might have.

▸ if you’re doing voice training, levi’s real good at that!

▸ he went through a phase where he wanted to be a voice actor…so he knows some basic things.

▸ levi’s actually really good with hair! he can style it to whatever style you want, cut it to any length!

▸perks of being a cosplayer ig....

▸ like mammon, every milestone is celebrated.

▸ throughout your transitioning, (if you haven’t already) he’s there every step of the way, encouraging you, telling you that he loves you and that he’s proud.

▸ he just hopes he can become some sort of comfort for you.

asmo.

▸ when having the conversation about it, he’s the most serious he’s ever been.

▸ asmo listens to everything you have to say, not interrupting you at all.

▸ it’s a little unnerving, honestly.

▸ but once you’re finished talking, he smiles and hugs you.

▸ his hug is tight and full of love.

▸  he thanks you for telling him, happy to know you trust him enough to tell him.

▸ out of the three, asks a lot of questions!

▸ he just wants to know what you are and aren’t comforting with anymore.

▸ you like certain terms? a certain set of pronouns? done and done! he’ll keep it all in mind.

▸ helps a lot with your transitioning! especially if you want to transition socially.

▸ asmo understands the concept, but never truly gets gendered clothing.

▸ but if it’s something that’ll help, he’ll gladly let you into his closet or take you out shopping!

▸ no matter your preference, masculine, feminine or maybe even an androgynous look, he’s got you covered!

▸ like levi, he also specializes in voice training! no special reason, he just does.

▸ he’ll invite you over to his room for voice training lessons lol (but if you want the more professional approach, he’ll hook you up..somehow)

▸ asmo’s nothing but loving! his affection helps you feel a little less insecure about your own body. 

▸ he gives out a lot of praise too! on days you’re feeling euphoric, or just happy about something relating to your gender, he’s there congratulating you for it.

▸ asmo knows the importance of self love and what a bad self esteem can do to someone.

▸ so naturally, he just wants you feeling your best always!

▸ constantly complimenting you. 

▸ but when words of encouragement aren’t enough to help you, that’s okay too.

▸ he’ll hold you, kiss the crown of your head and tells what he loves about you.

▸ on your worst days, he’s there. asmo’s great at comfort, whatever you need he’ll get. 

▸ especially if it’s something relating to your totm. makes you feel like an absolute KING

▸ if anyone misgenders you, he’s the first one to get on they ass for it tbh..

- val

#valsfw #obey me headcanons #obey me fluff #obey me fluff headcanons #leviathan headcanons #mammon headcanons #asmodeus headcanons #asmo headcanons #levi headcanons #leviathan fluff #asmodeus fluff #asmo fluff #mammon fluff #obey me male mc #obey me male reader #obey me trans mc #sorry these seem short im ifj4nfjk #i'll do more trans mc to make up for this post lhhnng

[botwstoriesandsuch]

OK SHUT UP SHUSH SHUT THE FUCK UP IT’S 1AM BUT SHUSH LISTEN! HEY, LISTEN!

I AM GIVING YOU THE TOOLS TO FIND THE EXACT DISTANCE OF ANYTHING ANYWHERE IN HYRULE, CUSTOM MAKE YOUR FIC JOURNEYS TO THE METER, FIND THE AREA OF ANY TOWN OR LANDMARK, OR JUST FIND OUT HOW BIG (or small) HYRULE KINDGOM TRULY IS ONCE AND FOR ALL SO GO AHEAD AND SAVE THIS POST TO YOUR DRAFTS CAUSE YOU MIGHT WANNA SEE IT FOR FUTURE REFERENCE

 Ok so this all starts with THIS

FEAST YOUR EYES LADIES, LADS, AND GENTLEFOLK ON THE ONLY PIECE OF INFORMATION IN ALL OF HYRULE CONCERNING DISTANCE AND TIME. 

[Image ID: A screenshot from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, depicting a picture of Ash Swamp hanging in Impa’s house. The dialogue box from Impa reads, “Does it look familiar? From this village, you should be able to get there in a half day’s time.” End ID]

Impa states that it would take you half a day, about 12 hours, to travel from Kakariko Village to the depicted 13th memory, which is at Ash Swamp by Fort Hateno. 

Now here is where I took this information. I took it to

objmap.zeldamods.org

A fantastic online Botw map resource with tons of features like finding specific objects, and highlighting areas, and placing pins, and the basics of showing the locations of everything like shrines and korok seeds and all that. 

BUT the thing that we care about today is this ability, here:

DRAW!

With those widgets on the right, I can specifically mark lines and shapes and the website will give me the distance of it in meters!

“But Kip, if the map already gives you the distance of anything you want then isn’t this entire post pointless?” Ashshshshshhshh no, shut the fuck up, shush shut, no, stop, silence, I am high on caffeine and I haven’t slept for two days. No. 

As great as the map is, the exact ratio isn’t the best. Like, it tells me that the length of Hyrule is only 10km, or 6.2 miles. 

I wager that realistically, Hyrule would be a bit bigger than that. And THAT, is where I come in. Or, more specifically, Impa.

Impa states that it takes 12 hours to travel from Kakariko to Fort Hateno. (I am saying Fort Hateno and not Ash Swamp because I am going of the nearest prominent landmark location near the 13th memory, and I highly doubt that Impa knew the exactly square foot patch of dirt that Link needed to stand on to activate his memory)

According to Google, it takes around 10 to 12 minutes to walk a kilometer. (I am assuming Impa was referring to walking and not riding, because I feel like she would have said, “You should be able to get there in half a day’s ride” or something of the sort. So, walking it is)

So: 

12 hours divided by 12 minutes 

(Which is 720 minutes / 12 minutes)

gives us

60

The distance between Fort Hateno and Kakariko village is 60 kilometers.

Badabing badaboom, great job! We did it. BUT NOW this is where our handy dandy online object map comes in.

[Image ID: A screenshot of the Breath of the Wild map showing the area of Kakariko Village and the plains in front of Fort Hateno. A blue line highlghts the path from the village to a marker on Fort Hateno. The line reads “1.89km.” End ID]

[Image ID: A screenshot of the Breath of the Wild map showing the area of Kakariko Village and the plains in front of Fort Hateno. The blue line from the previous image is still there, however, there is now a more prominent yellow line. The yellow line runs from Kakariko village, but ends at a marker point at the location of the 13th memory at Ash Swamp. The yellow line reads “1.55km.” End ID]

So while this map doesn’t give me distances that are exactly to my liking, it DOES give me a measuring means that will stay consistent. SO! As you can see, the map says Kakariko to Fort Hateno is 1.89km. (And just to be safe, I also did the distance exactly to the point of the 13th memory as shown in Impa’s picture, which came out to 1.55km. But! It’s doesn’t matter anyhow, because) We’re going to round this to 2km for the sake of my sanity because surprise surprise! I actually suck at, and hate, math. 

So the map says Kakariko to Fort Hateno is 2 kilometers, but we know that in real life, the distance is actually 60 kilometers. So, if you want to use this object map effectively, you have to make a means of converting the “false” measurements, (which I will be refering to as “zelda” (kilo)meters, or zm/zkm) from the actual ones. 

So THIS is what I fucking did oh my god help me it took me way too long even though it was really simple in hindsight I was just stupid and spent two hours trying to get the ratio equations right when really all I had to do was divide, it was a whole thing, anyhow, read away. 

[Image ID: A screenshot of MATH oh my god it’s fucking math...BUT it’s kinda color coded so that’s nice. The top left of the page depicts text. In red text reads “zkm (Zelda km) = per the measurement on the objmap.zeldamods.org” and below that, in black text, reads, “Kakariko to Fort Hateno = 1.89 zkm ~ 2zkm,” which is underlines in yellow. Another line of black text reads, “Impa says it takes half a day’s time to travel from Kakariko to the 13th memory location AKA 12 hours.” Another line of black text reads, “It takes about 10-12min to walk a kilometer,” which is underlines in green.

Handwritten in blue ink is the equation, 

“12 hours = 720 min

720/12 = 60″ 

The 12 is highlighted in green, and the 60 is underlined. In green text, below it, reads, “It takes 12 hours to walk 60 kilometers.” In black text under this, it reads “So Kakariko to Fort Hateno is 60 kilometers.” Another line of black text under this reads, “So based on that, we can find the actual values of a zkm (Zelda kilometer).” 

Handwritten in yellow ink is the equation,

“2zkm = 60km

1km = 30km” [typo, I meant 1zkm = 30km]

The 60km is in blue, and the equation 1zkm = 30km is circled. 

To the right of everything, in bigger, yellow text, reads “So: 1zkm = 30km 1zm = 30 meters

The map of Hyrule measures roughly 10zkm (length) by 8zkm (height) [typo, I meant width] giving it an area of 80 square zkm.

Therefore, the “true” size of Hyrule Kingdom os 2400 square kilometers.” End ID]

SO ARMED WITH THIS NEW KNOWLEDGE, you can now use this map to measure whatever you want, and by converting 1zm to 30 meters, you can get accurate result as to what that distance is. 

Chart the roads, measure the rivers, the map even gives area tools for polygons, squares, and circles! This entire post was born out of a desire to see how long the characters in my fic should rest for when travel between different stables. 

Now before anyone asks, yes! 2400 square kilometers is fairly small. That’s around 930 square miles. I believe even Wales is more than three times bigger than that. BUT! Considering Hyrule is a medieval kingdom that’s actually pretty sizable considering the average size of a Kingdom was 100 to 900 square kilometers. 

And juuuust to double check, I ran the size though a Medievil Demographics generator, and 2400 (under the conditions of Fertile Land with 64% of the land being arable since I figured roughly 46% for lakes, the ocean, plus unusable land was more than enough to cover the Hebra, Death Mountain, and the Gerudo Desert. Which honestly is even MORE generous considering there are races that occupy these areas, but I digress) This still gives Hyrule Kingdom a good population of 108,000 people! Before the Calamity when all of its villages were up and occupied, of course. So the area is definitely more than enough, and can still give Link a more realistic amount of time to travel between areas (when you add eating and rest of course. Don’t make my guy walk for 10 hours straight from the Great Plateau to Hebra D: plz)

TL;DR: Hyrule is 2400 square kilometers; use the map, plus the conversion 1 zelda meter to 30 meters to measure anything you want; I am tired

Quick Edit: Please note that this conversion is for the purposes of people out there who need more realistic means of measuring distances for larger scale travel and such, like for writing fic journeys, or dnd campaigns. This conversion isn’t the best for smaller scale measure like buildings and such (EX: I’ve checked with buildings in Castle Town and the Coliseum, and they come out much too big, just a symptom of game design ratios not being perfect since it’s hard to balance consistent measurements and the immersion and plan a creator has for their game world!) So if you are measuring those smaller entities using the linked map, just stick with the given zelda meters! (EX: The Coliseum radius in zelda meters matches up nicely with the real world Roman Colosseum, beating it out by a few dozen meters!)

Also if you are a true believer in the interpretation of Impa’s dialogue as “half the amount of daylight hours,” see the reblogs!

#botw theory #cause it's technically a theory i guess #botw reference #botw #breath of the wild #legend of zelda botw #loz botw #if my math is wrong just shoot me on the spot ok #loz #legend of zelda #hyrule