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#plus the time she talked abt was when she was sick and I had to keep the house together. did I thrive
girltomboy · 3 months
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Last week my bf and I found out that one of our friends has been talking "seriously" to another friend's ex crush and it kinda shattered my faith in him like not only is this girl barely 18 (?? I think) but she was also the root of some huge drama that happened last year. She started secretly texting our friend and he told our other friend who then stopped talking to her and moved on. He was super broken and disappointed though. And a few months ago she apparently texted him again, this time he didn't tell our other friend, and now they have like a Thing?? And he already said he's been thinking about how to tell friend number 2 about what's been going on, but he still hasn't done it, and their Thingationship is just naturally progressing, like he's been tentatively telling me and my bf about some of their inside jokes or things they tell each other, and I'm like ?? Bruh what the hell are you doing lol. My bf apparently told him that his secret situationship is a bad idea and really unfair to our friend as well who suffered terribly after his friendship breakup last year. And he just agreed and that was it. But nothing changed, so we just figured he's enjoying the attention and connection with a girl which has been so rare for him, but I'm like... does the world end and begin with this one girl who's too young for pretty much everyone in our friend group?Just cause she made the silly decision to text you again doesn't mean you have to disregard any feelings you have for one of your best friends... Not to mention this wouldn't even be the first time he has a Thing with a close friend's ex girlfriend or crush 🙄 Like idk I know they're both single and there never really was anything beyond a simple friendship between this girl and friend number 2, but what do you even get out of a potentially failed talking stage that you have to hide from your close friend...? Idk this thing really shifted my perception of him, I noticed he was still following this girl on insta but I thought it was just a coincidence that they still follow each other after the failed attempt at integrating her into our friend group last year.
#later update: it turns out that my bf had actually had a serious talk with our friend about this and the friend said he would handle it#THEN nothing happened again. and he was still talking to her just not telling us/my bf about it LMAO#like he definitely became more lowkey when he saw that we didn't react well to the news he'd broken to us; he probably expected us to congr#tulate him or something lol. and then later he texted my bf to tell him 'she broke up with me hope ur happy' like bro... once again u were#investing ur energy and emotions into the wrong thingationship and now when it inevitably goes badly ur pouring ur frustration#into ur closest friend? who literally told u it was a bad idea from the start? 😩#so my bf patiently explained to him all the hurt that could have potentially been caused by this bizarre talking stage evolving into#something more serious and that he was just wasting his time and emotions AGAIN. and maybe putting his friendship w our other friend#in danger. but he was still frustrated and freshly hurt so his moodiness persisted but then eventually he recovered#and then in the same week he also quit his job and got sick so he was still a bit under the weather#anyway we've been spending time with him and stuff#just updating cuz i didn't even know my bf had talked to him at length abt it and he showed me screenshots. and my friend was apparently#mad that my bf was bringing up our other friend and his old crush on his girlie as if that was not even the entire point?#like ur only chance at having a meaningful relationship is by being a rebound for your friend's failed relationships? plus you KNEW this#wasn't meant to be and that it was gonna deteriorate. and she ended up being the one who broke it off.
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bonetrousled · 2 years
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the TAPE WOMAN INCIDENT is as follows. under a cut because this is a LONG ass ride
okay so to preface i need u to understand two things
1) i live in the middle of nowhere. i personally live in the middle of a CORNFIELD and it takes me fifteen minutes to drive to where i work and even that location is pretty non-notable. i work on the weekends and it gets pretty dead past 6 pm
2) i had a coworker we’ll call Sheldon who was one of THE worst people i’ve ever met. the most unbearable obtuse cishet white gay guy you can imagine. like “lesbians get too much rep” kind of guy. would follow you around WHILE you did your job stocking shit and talk your ear off to hear his own voice .  beyond that he was super weirdly violent. he’d make up stories about himself to sound cool but instead of being like “yeah my dad works at minecraft” he’d make up stories abt himself beating the shit out of people and like. wrenching their hair out.
if anyone else said these things to me i’d be scared shitless but i knew i could take him in a fight but it was still fucking WEIRD. talked abt wanting to hurt a higher-ups kids and he STILL wasn’t fired for that (eventually got fired later thank god) but he constantly did things that were borderline like. budding serial killer behavior ON TOP OF being unbearable to work with and constantly stealing my sales to make my numbers look bad
so. one of my coworkers had to leave early bc she was sick and i was given an ultimatum. i could either A) close alone for the very first time and be by myself for like two hours with no prior warning OR B) have sheldon come and close with me. of course i picked the former with NO hesitation. i figure yeah this is a scary and sudden happenstance but also if i had to be around him any longer id freak the fuck out. plus im like it’s like what. 5pm already? it’s not gonna be bad. i can deal w this.
so i’m sitting in the back alone and relaxing and whatever. i did everything i needed to do for the rest of the night earlier and since nobody was in the store i was just new boot goofing. the only thing of note that happens is that these middle school age boys come in and buy perms and leave. they will be back later
i go back to the back room and i’m enjoying myself when i hear the door ding so i go up to the front. in comes the omen: a woman in a tank top, coated in orange spray tan, with a bedazzled cross necklace. she’s the normal amount of annoying for any given Customer Interaction. HOWEVER
i go to cash her out. and i’m waiting for her to press a button on the card scanner but i don’t get the chance to be like “hey you need to do this for me to even start scanning your shit” because she begins telling me about an experience she just had
she goes “well. just so you know, i saw a woman in this parking lot, and she was sort of peering around into people’s cars, and she came up to me- and her face was ALL taped up.” so at this point im thinking like. gauze?? medical tape??
and she continues- “and she wanted a ride. so i said, okay, and i let her into my car. and she wanted a smoothie”
 (i have to interject here to say there is NOWHERE to get a smoothie near me. i have no idea what she’s talking about)
“so i took her to the smoothie place. she also had a BIG bag of carrots, and she wanted them to put the carrots in there. so they did, but then she decided she wanted them to remake the drink because they touched the carrots. anyway, i decided that was too much, so i had to drop her off. i let her go at starbucks, so, you know. if you see her, BE CAREFUL.”
okay so let’s unpack this. FIRSTLY i have had a woman made up to me. this is completely unbelievable from start to finish. i have no fucking idea what she’s talking about . SECONDLY: BE CAREFUL??
so i’m just like. sure this might as well happen . and i’m just like “ooh. um. haha yeah okay” and finally get to scanning her shit. and she goes to leave and stops at the door and her face falls as she STARES at me and whispers:
“i don’t know if you believe in this sort of thing, but i think god is watching. ALL the time. and i think he really, really wanted me to give her that smoothie. but i just COULDN’T do it.”
and she fucking leaves . so i’m just left there like 🧍 and i go sit back in the back. and im chilling out back there when i hear the door ding, so i go up and i’m greeted by the perm boys. they forgot some stuff they needed, so i’m like. ok cool no prob, heres what you need. while i’m helping them i hear the door ding again, but i’m helping the perm boys, so i figure i’ll finish with them and then see who came in and what they need.
we go to walk up to the register and someone’s facing away from us in the aisle. so i’m like “oh um excuse me! just gotta sneak past ya” and the Person turns around.
the tape woman. imagine if you will a lady with her ENTIRE HEAD wrapped in duct tape like the INVISIBLE FUCKING MAN. with a hole cut out in the duct tape for her mouth but NONE FOR HER EYES . there’s a single tape hole right next to her nose that she’s using to look out at me and in order to see me she has to lean all the way back to look at me with it . ADDITIONALLY she is carrying a fucking DUFFEL BAG that’s OPENED and filled with LOOSE BABY CARROTS
so while my heart takes a fastpass route straight to my stomach i am faced with a MYRIAD of realizations:
FIRSTLY the tape woman is fucking real. the omen i was given not even an hour earlier had come to pass and she was now in my store. SECONDLY i am the only person working. i can’t even look at anyone and be like HEY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON because my only witnesses are the goddamn PERM BOYS and THIRDLY i have to act like her head is NOT in fact covered in duct tape because like. i dont know what the hell is going on i think if i react in any way i will be in danger
so the tape woman scoots out of the way and i check the perm boys out. and they BOOK IT out of the store . so i am now left alone with the tape woman
and i’m like <:)  ..... do you. um. need any help with finding anything? and the tape lady turns around and she points at a bottle and goes. “is this shampoo?” and i’m like “ohhh um no that’s color sealer. this is shampoo here” and like. despite looking 100% like she was going to axe murder me she was one of the nicest people i had dealt with all day. she was just like “oh okay! thank you”.
and she asks me how much is so i tell her and she’s like oh alright. i only have five bucks on me right now so i’m gonna go into the parking lot and see if i can find any money. and i felt bad because like. i was going to offer to pay but the registers don’t let you cash yourself out if you’re ringing on them so i was just like “oh! alright!”
so she leaves and comes back a minute or two later and she’s very nicely just like “oh um don’t worry about it, i’m not gonna get anything today. have a nice night” and im like oh you too! and she leaves. and i watch through the front window as she goes to leave and this guy gives her like 20 bucks . so i’m thinking “oh she’s gonna come back and buy it right”
she comes back into the door. and stops in the doorway and she says to me
“um, don’t worry about it, actually. i’m not gonna get that right now-“
and she lowers her voice before going:
“because i have to pray. and if the prayer turns out RIGHT. i will come back. and i will buy it.”
and she LEAVES without a second word. did not even see her in the PARKING LOT for the rest of the NIGHT . i have asked MULTIPLE PEOPLE who work in the same plaza if they encountered this lady and NOBODY HAS. i asked the people at STARBUCKS and they say they haven’t ever seen her. my ONLY witnesses are these middle schoolers trying to get perms. i have been thinking about this at least once a day since the event has happened. i haven’t even seen the first lady who warned me about her since. i think i was contacted by spirits or something
tldr two separate women channel god in a beauty supply store in the middle of country bumpkin nowhere at 7:30 pm while i closed alone
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murdertramp25 · 12 days
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Olivine for the ask meme!
!! Thank you for the ask =D
First impression: So, I kinda knew I would like him going in. An irl friend of mine pitched this game to me, and when she told me about Olivine she was like "oh yeah he's got titties and is secretly super kinky" and well. that can't NOT grab my attention lol I had the hardest time getting him, though...his OG SR is the last one I got by a long shot, and I still haven't ascended it to 3 stars bc he just won't come to me...=( so I had to wait awhile to get deeper into his character. Once I was able to have him on my home screen tho I was like…oh…he's so soothing…if you pat his head he gives you a gold star…oh no this is activating Kinks >>;;;
Impression now: Not too terribly different from my first impression? I just love seeing all the kinky things this guy gets up to, and I think his H-scenes are just so incredibly sweet and horny...I think at first some of the screaming put me off a bit, but the gap moe(?) of seeing this serene guy fall apart + I love seeing characters just be able to let go of all shame and pretense...it's so good...
Favorite moment: Ooo hard to say...honestly, his Blood Key flashbacks were SO powerful and kind of relatable, as I've struggled with similar things myself. My trauma didn't look exactly like that, but still, the self harm plus growing up as a very sexual, kinky person in the sort of purity culture that really punishes that...I'm like damn man, I get it =(
Idea for a story: oh my god so many...idk that there's any I haven't talked abt here before, but an older one I really want to get back to is a YakuOli sickfic where Olivine gets super sick and Yakumo takes care of him. And Yakumo, bless him, goes maybe a little overboard and mommies him a bit and it's really weird for Olivine at first since he's always the caretaker, but it's...so nice actually? he can just relax?? and be fussed over for once??
Unpopular opinion: hmm idk that any of my opinions are unpopular tbh...I have a very hard time imagining him giving dick, even as like, a service top. He and Edmond are both characters that like. I could see them theoretically domming for certain kinks, maybe, for a bit? But I just think they're not happy unless they've got something in their butt idk
Favorite relationship: YakuOli!!! oh my god they are SO sweet together...they're both such perfect, sweet caretaking blorbos with a secretly super horny side, and Yakumo is probably one of the few clan members who could totally keep up with Olivine's stamina and sex drive XDD plus they both love reading and they kind of spend a lot of time together...I just think they would be so great for each other ;w;
Favorite headcanon: I'm not sure if I can explain this properly and frankly I'd argue this is canon but. He has breasts. Not sure how they got there -- maybe he has gynecomastia, maybe he's transmasc and opted not to get top surgery, maybe he's transfem and got them from hormones, or maybe there is no explanation and maybe guys in the NuKani universe just have boobs occasionally. But whatever he's got going in is more than just pecs (though he has those too). He's a guy that has Boobs and is fine with it. And I think that's cool.
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stendysolos · 1 month
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silly rant about wendy and stan :3
but like the rants are seperate
so to whoever wants to read this shit i think wendy doesnt work with anyone else besides stan. if you say "kyle can treat her better!" first of all stfu u kyndy shippers are annoying asf and second of all no he would not. he would clearly get jealous of other guys and he would be really controlling (not in earlier seasons) and lets just be fr for a sec... wendy would either fall out of love or get back with stan again because yknow they always go back to eachother. and plus an arguement between wendy and kyle would be ugly especially if theyre together, they both can get mad asf and the arguement would last ATLEAST a few days. and atleast stan can handle her disagreeing and yelling at him. now lets see who else shes paired with. i wanna talk abt wendy and token. first of all i dont believe wendy ever loved token because we never see theyre relationship outside of raisins. what i believe is that wendy only dated token to try and get stans attention because he did neglect the relationship and maybe she was attention-hungry. and now the final one i wanna talk to about is cartman. i hate wendy x cartman (more than i hate kyndy) because we know it would never work. she even said that she lost all feelings towards cartman after chef goes nanners. and even if you argue and say that they had good chemestry in that episode let me remind you that she ran back to stan at the end of the episode. she clearly hates cartman and clearly would rather killherself than date cartman. i dont think cartman deserves to be with anyone (except maybe yentl) because he's pretty much unlovable.
now onto stan, i dont think he works with anyone but wendy. lets take a look at style. first of all kyle has left stan several times before. he left him for token and he also never helped him with his depression in your getting old. but guess who was there to cheer him up? wendy was. wendy was one of the only people that didnt get sick of him in that episode and it really shows how much she cares for stan. and in you have 0 friends even though wendy was kinda being... weird, stan did listen to her and tried to edit his settings on his facebook.
also i wanna bring up... best friends doesnt = dating.
also i wanna talk abt stendy as a relationship. i think that they might be able to work as friends but as partners is when theyre dynamic works best. girlboss and loser bf. in all honesty stan and wendy might have the best dynamic/healthiest relationship out of everyone. theyve been shown to care about eachother lots of times and in the older seasons was when they really had their cutest moments. modern stendy isnt bad either, wendy is able to forgive stan at the end of the chat gpt episode because she loves him. and stan really cares for wendy too. he went with wendy to see shitty movies just to spend time with her and he also wrote a song for her. stendy is my absolute favorite ship and i hate when ppl make them cheat on eachother. stan would never and wendy wouldnt either. and one thing i noticed is that stan is loyal to wendy, sure he may have had a few crushes on other girls but, he never actually tried to make a move on any of them (except ms ellen) but through out all their break ups, stan never dating anyone besides wendy, which shows he really does love her enough to the point where he would hit on anyone while she was gone
also this section is just random but i wanted to put it here:
would stan work with other girls?
theres 3 main people i wanted to pair stan with. heidi, bebe, and red. first i want to talk abt is red and stan. i feel like they would be more friends than lovers. we dont really see much of reds personality but we do know that she acts like the other girls. stan doesnt really interact with girls that much so we dont really see a certain dynamic between them. another girl i want to talk abt is bebe. bebe is an interstening character, she can be nice, outgoing and funny but she can switch up to be sassy and rude. stan and bebe are like the listeners/jocks of their groups. they both have their hobbys that go on the field (stan plays football and bebe is a cheerleader). i feel like stan and bebe would be besties shit talking everybody. and lastly i want to move onto heidi. i feel like they could work as an alternate incase stan and wendy have a permenant break up (lets be honest thats never happening). i feel like heidi likes/ is fond of stan. she went up to him for advice abt cartman and he's probably the one that knows cartman the least. and in the bracelets episode he asked her for glue which i find funny. and i feel like their love of animals would help them bond.
ok i think im done with this rant
so basically:
wendy and kyle dont get along prob, stendy is a healthy relationship, cartman and wendy hate eachother, stan and red are mutuals, stan and bebe are prob besties, and stan and heidi could work but like... stendy solos.
ok bye yall
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ch0lwrld · 7 months
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1:11 AM
pairings: beomgyu x gn!reader
genre: fluff with a bit of angst in the beginning
warnings: y/n’s grandparents are sick but beomgyu is there for you every step of the way
a/n: quick beomgyu drabble bc the thought of a sleepy gyu is so 😞. also sorry abt the bit of angst. i did not proofread so read at your own risk.
you cant sleep. and its not because gyu keeps accidentally nudging and kicking you on the bed because you can handle that. even if he hits your side a little too hard you usually just kick him back for good measure. you just can’t. not with the stress of seeing your parents again coming up so soon. the reason he’s actually here with you in your apartment is because he wanted to be there to comfort you. you don’t blame him for falling asleep with you but rather you blame yourself for having him come all the way here for nothing but your endless sulking.
you had called him and ranted to him about it. telling him how your mom wanted you to come over since your grandparents weren’t feeling well and their health wasn’t getting any better. you hadn’t seen them in years, you finally tried to cut them off after you had started working at a good paying job, enough to allow you to move out and away from them. you knew she wouldnt call if it wasnt something serious and you knew that by cutting them off you wouldn’t see your grandparents or anyone for that matter for awhile. but, as much as it hurt, it hurt more for you to stay any longer in that environment. and if moving out and leaving for good was enough to let them know what they did wrong then so be it. and then you were gone.
until now.
your grandparents were fine when you had left, not the best but they knew that. so hearing about your grandpas worsening condition, it hurt. your grandparents were always there for you and your siblings. they were there more than your own parents. your grandpa had always been the one to pick you up and drop you off at school alongside your brothers, your grandma always ready with food for when you got back. your grandpa was the one who taught you to drive and even to parallel park! so many big parts of your life were filled by them and losing them… you couldn’t even fathom the thought right now.
things were going so well at work. when you first found the job you struggled to get the hang of it at first but you soon learned to love it. it paid well and your coworkers were so friendly. the overall environment was amazing. you never thought you would like 9-5’s so much until you landed this spot and it really opened your eyes. you were grateful for the situation you were placed in and to have your loving boyfriend stick by you through it all was just the plus on the side. even though he was busy being an idol, he always found time to spend it with you even if it was in the late hours of the night. he would always answer with that deep, groggy voice and eyes barely opened to watch you talk on the screen. you admired how much he put up with with you but he always let you know that he loved you and no matter what he’d always be there. it was sweet and corny but you loved it all.
you remembered that with everything good happening in your life, something like this was bound to happen. you knew its only supposed to help you grow but you feel every bit of you being torn down day by day. your coworkers had noticed and eventually it got the attention of your boss. they let you have the week off to make time to visit your grandparents. you were grateful they were so understanding but it only made you feel worse that they noticed. you hated the way their faces looked at you in pity when all you wanted was to work all of these emotions out but you couldn’t even do your job correctly.
you couldn’t stop tossing in your sleep that you eventually woke beomgyu up, murmuring a quick sorry and brushing your hand through his hair. he was quick to melt into your touch, falling back to sleep at your side. you felt guilty as you carefully left the bed to head into the kitchen. you thought maybe a cup of tea would help ease any of your worries and finally help you sleep. you were careful not to make too much noise but you guess your effort went in vain as you heard a slight creak in the floorboards and a soft voice call at you from behind.
“what are you doing?”
you looked back to see him in the doorway of your bedroom, leaning agaisnt it as he rubbed at his still sleep ridden eyes. he looked so soft like this, you felt bad you woke him up but it was a little worth it.
“sorry, just couldn’t sleep. you can go back to bed though i’ll be there soon.”
“hmm.. i dont know if i can. i couldn’t feel you there so i got worried.”
he started towards you, wrapping his srms around your waist and setting his chin on your shoulder.
“can’t go back to sleep, not without you there.”
you chuckled. you took a quick sip of your tea, allowing the warmth to flow through your body before you responded back.
“okay clingy, lets go back then now.”
“mmm” he groaned into your ear as he had you waddle him back to the bed, still attached to your hip.
when you two finally settled back in bed he was a little more awake now. he stared at your still form eyes closed but he knew you were still awake.
“is it your parents again?”
you slowly opened your eyes.
“..yeah.. sorry. i just… nevermind”
“you can tell me. i mean i know you did earlier but im all ears now. always.”
he looked at you, watching as your eyes shifted from one to another. you knew you could trust him, you just felt bad to dump all of this on him since everything was going so well for him in his career.
but the look in his eyes as he held you close, fiddling with your fingers and letting his hands roam through your hair as he pushed it away from your face. he knew how much you loved when he played with you hair as much as you do with his. he always was up for putting it into bows and small pony tails or just in ways you would never think of. you would chase him around after it was done and you had looked yourself in the mirror. you always complained because you would always make him look cute and he’d leave you a mess. he’d always give you a loving peck to your lips as you complained as an apology but the knowing smirk on his face tells you otherwise.
he always knew how to make you feel so loved and in this moment as he held you in his arms, you knew. your head laid against his chest feeling each breath he took. it calmed your senses, your mind halting in the middle of the traffic to the sound of his breathing.
he just listened and listened as you talked about your worries. he’ll never not listen to you, not even if its somethings he’s heard over an over again because you forgot you had already told him that joke yesterday or just a minute before. he would always be there to lend you whatever you needed and if he needed to fly to the moon and back he would to see that smile on your face again. to see the frown on your features fade and the crinkle between your brows subside because he was the one making you feel this way. he wanted to be your comfort, your person and everything in between. it pained him to see you so down the last couple of days and he knew you always kept things inside to avoid burdening him with your troubles. but, he never saw it that way and he wished to make you know every second of the day.
you would open up to him with your daily troubles little by little and it made him happy to know that you trusted him and were getting more comfortable as the days passed by. he loved you, more than anything. so if all he needed was to listen and hold you close he could do it everyday if it meant giving you all the comfort and love you’d want and need. he’d do it a thousand times over if he had the choice.
because he loved you, and thats all you’d ever need. all you’d ever need was him.
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snazzilystoopid · 7 months
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The Ninja ft. Their musical preferences/hcs
Here are my hcs on what type of music each ninja prefers, plus a few extra bits!!
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Enjoy hehe
Kai
You'll never find someone who loves rap more than him
His favourite song is Candy Shop and he uses its audio to all the thirst traps he makes 😭
(Yes I hc that he makes thirst traps)
He had a phase where he listened to Pass Out by Tinie Tempah on repeat
He got so embarrassed because he got caught singing along to the Boy's a Liar pt 2
Jay didn't let him live it down for like a week
Other than rap he likes the songs I Love You Hoe, Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Cole introduced those songs to him
He definitely uses the rose gold Beats headphones
Skylor borrows them all the time
Jay
Kpop. Just Kpop.
He legit forced Nya to go out to get the BTS meal with him
Lit by Oneus used to be his favourite song, now it's The Feels by Twice
He HATES Stray Kids
He stans BTS, Twice, Dreamcatcher and NCT
If not Kpop, then The Weekend
Stargirl Interlude>>
Him and Cole woke everybody up singing this song at the top of their lungs at like 2AM
He sings into Nya's hairbrush
When he's feeling extra romantic and confident he'll sing "I just wanna see you shine, because I know you are a stargirl" to Nya
He sounds terrible but she loves it
He owns a bunch of lightsticks
A proud photocards collector
Bash any if his favourite artists on twitter/chirp and he won't hold back. Trust me.
When The Feels was first released he cried like a baby because that day they had a mission and he couldn't find his airpods
The poor boy was so upset he couldn't listen to it but Cole offered his headphones to him
He broke them and Cole nearly smashed his face in but dw Zane fixed it because he's wonderful
Zane
Zane loves classical music, he taught himself to play the violin and he plays it for Pixal in their free time
Classical is his favourite genre, but he's an all-rounder
He doesn't listen to music much so he just has one playlist with a bunch of completely different songs
Loves a bit of Florence + The Machine
Pixal introduced her songs to him
He has so many favourites in the classical genre but outside of it his favourite song is probably Spectrum by Florence + The Machine
He and Pixal dance to the song 2002
It's her favourite song and whenever they go on dates Zane makes sure to play it when they're driving back home afterwards
Cole
He's probably going deaf bc his headphones are on like 24/7 (I also forgot to mention he's a DJ in my Cole hcs)
His headphones are personalised
Evolved from a nightcore kid to a slowed + reverb teen/young adult
The others sometimes spy on him while he's singing to the music when he's alone, because he'll never sing in front of anyone and his voice is angelic
His favourite songs are #brooklynbloodpop and Am I Dreaming (from atsv), but dw he's got WAY more favourites
Fluxxwave, CRYSTALS, Luxxid Diamondz, Kurxxed Emeraldz, yeah those type of songs but slowed + reverb
He loves some soft rock aswell
Slowed songs bring out his romantic side, you'll definitely find him sitting by a window while he's blasting the slowed version of What Do You Mean into his ears
Or you'll come across him laying on his bed with his eyes closed, you can hear the slowed Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift from his headpones even though you're literally at the door
Thats how loud it is
AC/DC>>>> HE LOVES THIS BAND SM HE COULD TALK ABT IT FOR HOURS
He owns a bunch of their merch as well
Nya
SZA FOR LIFEEEE
All The Stars and Good Days>>>>
You can hear SZA songs coming from her room all the time and everyone gets sick of it
Obsessed with Rihanna songs as well
OH NA NA WHATS MY NAMEEE
ahem anyways
She loves it when Jay sings to her even though he sounds like a dying cat
MARINA. SHE LOVES MARINA.
The family jewels, How to be a heartbreaker, Hermit the frog, she could go on and on
Also PinkPantheress>>
It's rare, but she sings along to her songs sometimes and her voice is actually beautiful
Lloyd
ONE OF THE BIGGEST SWIFTIES IN ALL OF NINJAGO
Like 75% of his main playlist is just Taylor Swift
Molly (forgotten remix) is his favourite song
He loves going out on drives late at night while blasting this song out of the speakers
He's almost as bad as Cole, he plugs in his ears with his earphones literally all the time but doesn't play music that loud
Style by Taylor Swift>>>>
Argues with Cole about whether it should be"He looks so pretty like the devil" or "He looks up grinning like a devil" from Cruel Summer
He thinks it's the first one
He also loves Middle by DJ Snake
He used to listen to Galantis a lot but Kai bullied him for it
(Little does he know Kai used to sing Runaway (U and I) in the shower almost everyday)
That is all! So sorry that these are all so random 😭
Their music tastes are really messy and chaotic just like them hehe
I hope yall enjoyed this though 🤭
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splxtduxlies · 2 years
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some very domestic agent headcanons bc my brain is rotting slowly hahaahahhaah
agent 4 knows how to roller skate! she probably also knows how to skateboard (because like. its splatoon what kid doesnt) but she prefers roller skating because u can do sick poses and spins and stuff
3 blushes the Most like. theyre not very easily flustered but when they are their whole face gets bright with their ink color, shoulders, ear tips everything they hate it sm :*)
while 4 and 8 had an apartment together they did a lot of bonding :) 4 has siblings but 8 is. kinda strange in a cool way so its fun to show them new things!
8 has never had siblings and is enjoying learning abt squid culture from 4,,, even if they're doing it wrong sometimes 8 swears
they try to cook dinner once a week instead of eating out to save money, but 3/4 weeks a month they almost burn down their building and jus end up eating out anyway so
4 has the ADHD™️ habit of walking into rooms and completely forgetting why shes there, so the two of them have developed a plan to help 4 stay tf focused on a task
the plan is: 4 talks to herself about every little thing shes doing or needs to do and 8 listens and reminds her when she inevitably forgets
agent 4: so then i was like "look buddy-" wait where's my tea
8: you put it in microwave to reheat
4 walking over to the kitchen and pressing start on the microwave: oh ya so anywag i told the guy "if my sick flips offend you so much maybe-" wait what was i doing in here
8: you're taking off your sneakers
4: oh right so like i was saying
when 8 sneezes its like a lil kitten, when 4 sneezes she does it really loud and then trails into the chorus of some song, when 3 sneezes she holds them in but she gets sneezing fits and it gives her a headache rip
3 has decent hygiene (marie would argue against this) but shes jus. a sweaty teen ok :/ plus shes always wearing her hero outfit like. literally all the time
theyre her "safe clothes" ok >:(
8 isnt very competitive about playing turf - she wants her team to win but its not the end of the world if they dont as long as everyone had fun :) - video games however, completely different story
something about being in an independent 1v1 with someone that jus flips a switch in 8s mind that she must win she must beat them
4 hides her games because of the time she brought her family over their place and 8 made her brother cry over mario kart
callie and marie are cousins we know this but. they still see 3 like their little sibling together somehow abd tease them like one
3 has a lil zapfish plushie that she sleeps with in her apartment. like full on cuddles at night
everyone asks them why they dont have roommates itd make rent cheaper but she refuses to let anyone find this out
...4 and 8 ofc have already found this out and have a picture of 3 drooling on it but they value their lives so not another soul knows abt it
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dykeferatu · 5 months
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hi... i hope you dont mind this but u should talk about taeho and parker.... deathly curious. what're both of their general deals? ik taeho is a tzimisce but not much else otherwise :^)
OF COURSE I DON'T MIND!! i dont think anyones ever just asked me to explain my ocs i usually just babble about them and i assume everyone just goes "who the hell are they talking about" and moves on. unless they are my fwiends who i'm insane abt ocs with on the reg. anyway, thank u so so much for asking!! infodump commences
i'll start with parker because she hasn't had any session yet so her lore is not deep, and since at least one other player will likely read this i can't quite reveal all the fun bits yet! here's the only drawing i have atm. subject to change but this is the vibe
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parker (she/her) is a 21 year old skater chick (and lesbian) in the year 2007. she recently had an experience that turned her onto the path of a hunter. one of her friends was attacked by Something a few nights ago. she hit the thing with a bat (she used to play softball :D) but it didn't seem to phase it. at one point when she was checking out the crime scene, she ran into... her old high school english teacher. the victim was 18 and a current student of his, and he was curious about the incident too.
the two teamed up on their investigation and met an occult bookstore owner who took interest and told them she might know a guy who can help. all 4 of them will meet up for the first time in the first session on saturday :>
----
now, taeho..... taeho taeho. shim taeho (he/she) is a south korean cybernetics expert in the year 2077 (so many sevens in these years. that's a coincidence). she was a cybernetic designer/engineer i guess? i don't really know cyberpunk i'll be honest with u. she was also a back-alley ripperdoc. you can only understand so much about cybernetics without installing them yourself :)
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(art courtesy of @cradlingsongs)
she made some great achievements in her field, which attracted the attention of a tzimisce, jaeyoon (they/them). jaeyoon was interested in figuring out the mechanics of cybernetics on kindred, so they embraced taeho to be both a lab partner and a guinea pig. they also didn't let taeho leave the haven often because the camarilla was not welcoming to them. he'd only ever fed on their vitae until recently. no hard feelings, though! taeho loves her sire (why yes, he is Mega Blood Bonded, why do you ask?).
their main project together has been developing some sick doc ock tentacles by combining vicissitude and cybernetics. taeho has 2 currently installed. she's a beast with them in combat and it's a delight (when the dice don't hate me...)
anyway, after about 8 years of being holed up with his sire, the city they reside in was attacked by the SI. jaeyoon didn't come home, and taeho was left all alone. she waited, but eventually he knew he had to leave. she fled to the nearby city of seoul.
since it was his understanding that a tzimisce weren't really allowed in the camarilla, taeho decided to masquerade as another clan. and what other clan should she choose but the fucking tremere? look. he knows he has very nerdy energy so she figured she could blend in. plus, he was very curious about blood sorcery. could never quite figure out all that koldunic stuff.
since then she's been eating shit as a cammie scrub in a coterie of other scrubs (or, originally other scrubs. some players have rotated out and now half the coterie is much better off than taeho and the other refugee in the coterie). shenanigans have ensued, most notably for him when he got trapped into a marriage with a changeling that ended in a very messy divorce. uh. taeho may have been marked by the changeling relative that escaped the blood bath. it's fine.
i also have to include that this particular chronicle is, honestly, very horny. which is a lot of taeho's fault (but not entirely... *side-eyes lavender and her regnant*). for some reason his autistic swag is so strong that she has gotten laid THRICE since we started playing. none of the other pcs have done that even once... you'd probably expect the mafia girlboss or the sexy lasombra who takes every opportunity to take his shirt off to be pulling more, but you'd be wrong.
in recent events: a couple sessions ago taeho reunited with her sire! he cried like a baby, finally got to do some fleshcrafting (she had been feeling very trapped in this form... had a bit of a gender crisis. he's still figuring out exactly what's going on in that regard but hey the egg has definitely cracked, hence the new set of pronouns), and then had some. fun times. with her beloved sire. unfortunately, due to reasons, he can't stay with them. also they've been cursed somehow so taeho has to figure that out now. it's fine.
more recent events: taeho's regent/mentor seems to be reaching his limit on tolerating taeho's secretiveness. he's known that taeho has been lying about her clan since, like, almost the start. this regent is a very unusual tremere, and didn't immediately reveal taeho. in fact, he didn't even force taeho to tell him anything. he had already decided to take him under his wing, so that was that.
last session though he got a little fed up with the lack of trust. taeho tried to counter with some rumors he'd heard about the regent, expecting to weasel out, but instead the regent just laid out his whole tragic backstory to her. taeho didn't know how to respond to this, and also still couldn't tell the tremere regent that he was a tzimisce while they were in the middle of a chantry. she felt really bad about not telling the truth, which is weird and fucked up. why does he feel so bad about hurting this tremere??
i think i've said all the important stuff and then some, so i'll wrap it up. ahh.. taeho.... i love her. he's so fun to play. her game has already been going for over a year i think but only recently did he really click in my head. and boy. boy oh boy did he click. dug her cybernetic claws into the folds of my brain. i'm in pain. anyway i have some more art and posts in her tag if u want to check that out wehehehe
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kyuusberry · 1 month
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ranting abt kpop | kpop - drabble??
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warnings: past controversial things, ranting abt annoying stans, cursing
notes: don’t be rude. defending idols is good, but if you’re defending their rude, offensive behavior, it’s not cool. seriously.
a/n: i don’t mean harm to anyone, this is just my personal opinion on it. i am still a minor, so please be appropriate. or you will be blocked.
cis men, homophobes, racists, 20+, smut accounts dni
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i’m actually so sick of kpop rn.. like whether it’s the idols themselves, the staff, or the companies, the amount of controversies they’ve had are fucking crazy. chaeyoung wearing that n@zi shirt to a jewish restaurant & multiple times in public, idols saying the n word (giselle, hyolyn, julie, ect), getting hated on for being average/healthy weight, being underweight, getting hate because of the way you look (skin tone, race, eyes, ect), getting kicked out for false accusations, the way you talk, how your songs are (ex. soyeon making her group’s songs w/ both english & korean, but getting judged for it because it sounds “stupid” or doesn’t make sense), double standards, cultural appropriation!!! mocking desis, dancing in churches (fake or not), s3xualiz!ng minors?! holy shit. the list goes on and on. also. do not interact if you support any of these idols actions, its so so stupid and embarrassing when people baby their idols and protect them even when they’re grown adults (even if they’re not, still) and know wtf they’re doing. but then again, i’m just a 12 year old girl who doesn’t know what’s she’s doing apparently. AND. sending death threats does absolutely nothing. they’re just gonna go on with their life like usual. plus, it’s super immature. especially if you make up stuff or bring up plastic surgery or wtvr to make people unstan.. like?? you can unstan quietly! trying to educate them, is a better choice, but there’s still a chance they won’t listen. they can still do these things off camera too. they can just write an apology, get it over with, and do it again. it’s super duper hard to even stan groups after finding out what they did. if they’re a new group, it will probably happen eventually. or you could just stan the group and not support that specific member (or members). it’s also crazy that people are getting mad at idols for drinking and going to clubs, ESPECIALLY if they’re grown adults!! (jungkook, jennie, ect). smoking and/or vaping i get, because it’s bad blah blah blah (so is alcohol lmao), lung disease, that stuff (they still sound amazing though?? omgosh!!) but the fact that people are babying them?? erm.. gross! like for example, jungkook is an adult, he can make his own decisions now, thank you very much, but i see some people saying, “oh no!! my babyyy :( he’s vaping!! stop influencing him!!” gross. stop it, please. AND THE STALKERS????? WTF. LIKE ACTUALLY. your idols are not going to marry you!! i mean, if you’re lucky, they’ll find you attractive or wtvr, but still!! leave them be!!! let them live!!!! bro and bringing idols down for plastic surgery as if majority of idols/their favs have had it ;-; like please.. don’t even. and the hate train for wonyoung eating a strawberry with two hands is crazy 😭 i get that it was kinda weird, but please let her be.. it’s just a strawberry. anyways!! idc if you read this or not, but this was just my opinion on the kpop community atm! feel free to leave your opinions!! ^^
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Lance and Romelle enthusing abt Keith and Allura to each other?? (Mayhaps a side of the team lowkey thinking they're dating?)
OHHHHH miscommunications
Also this is my first work ft Allura and Romelle <3 
-----
“Blue paladin, may I bother you?” Romelle poked her head in Lance’s room, wearing a nervous expression. 
Lance looked up at her, placing his tablet off to the side of his bed. “What's up?” He tried to ignore how confused he sounded, but he hadn’t ever spoken to her one on one before; let alone in his room. 
She stepped more into his room, letting the door close behind her. “I want to,” she paused, closing her hands into a fist before releasing them. “May I ask you something?” 
“Uh...sure?” Lance tried to ignore the anxiety that was building in his gut. 
“Do you...do you have feelings for the Princess?” 
Lance stared at the other woman, not missing how red her face was and how she refused to meet his eyes. “Like...romantic feelings?” 
She gave a stiff nod, seeming to be scared of his answer. 
“No. Well, I used to but she’s more of a big sister to me now. Plus I like someone else.” 
All the stress that Romelle was holding in her body deflated at his words and she released a sigh. “Oh thank the universe.” 
Lance blinked at her, “why did you ask?” 
Her face turned a deep shade of red, “no reason I just...um...I wasn’t sure...” 
Lance’s mouth fell open, “you like the princess?!?!” 
She rushed forward, placing her hands over his mouth, “please no so loud.” 
He pulled his head back some, shock still flowing in his veins, “you like Allura?” He lowered his voice into a harsh whisper. 
She nodded, “I do. But I didn’t want to step on your toes if you liked her.” 
Lance shook his head, “no no I like Keith.” 
Now it was her turn to look at him with a wide expression. “The red paladin?!” 
Lance nodded, “yes.” 
Romelle moved to sit down next to him, “so I like the princess and you like your teammate.” 
“Yeah.” 
A small laugh bubbled from her chest, “we are disasters aren't we?” 
“Yeah, but we need to stick together.” 
That was the first night of many. The first night of Romelle going into Lance’s room to gush about Allura. Ramble about how she was able to braid her hair today and how soft it was between her fingers. Or how Allura smiled at her and laughed and Romelle had to leave the room since her marks were glowing. 
Lance would do the same regarding Keith. How his eyes were mini galaxies and Lance would stare at them all day if he could. How rough his voice sounded first thing in the morning. How good he looked when he trained. 
Before either of them knew it, you couldn’t have Lance without Romelle or vice versa. 
---
“Lance!!” Romelle stormed into the common room, not paying any attention to the others sitting on the couch with him. “I need to talk to you right now.” She crossed her arms, looking at him with an expression that meant she just witness Allura do something that made her heart pound. 
Lance stood from the couch, “okay.” He quickly walked over to her and they disappeared out of the room; unaware of the team's stares. 
As soon as Lance’s bedroom door closed Romelle exploded in a fit of giggles. “SHE SAID I LOOKED NICE!!!!” 
Lance smiled at her, letting her hug him and jump up and down. “What did you say?” 
Romelle released herself from her friend, “I told her thank you and went to find you.” 
Lance sighed, “Elle, you need to compliment her back. Let her know you’re interested.” 
She furrowed her eyebrows at him, “I will when you start flirting with the red paladin.” 
Lance frowned, “touché.” 
---
Lance thought he was going to be sick, his knees shook under his weight. 
“He’ll be okay. You got him back just in time my boy.” Coran patted his shoulder, all eyes on Keith in a healing pod. 
Lance tried to nod but he felt like he couldn’t breathe, was his armor always this tight? 
“Lance?” Romelle reached out and grabbed his arm.
He met her eyes and with a knowing expression she pulled him from the room; not bothering to meet the team member's eyes. The walk to her room took an eternity and as soon as her bedroom door hissed closed a sob was ripped from Lance’s chest. 
She pulled him in for a crushing hug, seeming unfazed by the crimson color that was smearing on her dress from his chest plate. 
“He could have died.” Lance clung to her, letting his emotions spill out. “if I was a minute later he would have died.” 
“Shhh I know. It’s okay. He’s okay.” 
Lance pulled her closer, if that was even possible, “I love him so much I can’t lose him.” 
Romelle hummed, “I know Lance. I know you do.” 
---
Keith was released from the pod into a quiet room, yet Allura was there to catch him. “Welcome back Keith.” She helped him sit down on the steps, taking a seat right next to him. “How do you feel?”
Keith rubbed his eyes, the pods always made him feel hazy. “I’ll feel better soon.” He looked around the empty room. “Where’s Lance?” He tried to ignore the ache in his chest, but Lance was always there when he got out of a pod. Even if he was sleeping off to the side he was always there. 
Allura sighed, her eyes burning a hole in the floor, “with Romelle.” 
“Oh.” Keith joined her staring. “Are they like a thing or something?” 
Allura took a sharp breath before releasing it slowly. “It appears so.” 
Keith closed his eyes, he was always worried he would lose Lance to someone else. That he wouldn’t keep his attention long enough to win him over. “As long as they’re happy or whatever.” 
Allura gave a stiff nod, “sure.” 
Keith looked over at her, “you don’t seem very happy.” 
Allura cleared her throat, “I may have feelings for one of them. Romantic feelings.”
Keith released a dry chuckle, “Lance?” 
Allura shook her head, “not him.” 
Keith blinked, oh. “I didn’t know you liked girls.” 
Allura shrugged, “on Altea we don’t have labels like you on earth do. We like who we like no matter the gender.”
“Some people on Earth are like that too.” 
Allura nodded. They sat in silence for a bit, before Allura spoke again. “I feel like I missed my chance. I thought I was flirting with her but every time I complimented her she would dash off and find Lance. I suppose she likes him.” 
Keith bumped her shoulder with his, “if it makes you feel any better I didn’t win Lance over.” 
Allura released a wet laugh, wiping her eyes quickly. “We are a mess aren’t we.” 
Keith nodded, “yeah we are.” 
---
It took a month before the air was finally clear and the truth was revealed. Romelle was the first one, cornering Allura in her bedroom, her face flushed with emotion, her hands sweating with anticipation and nerves. 
“Princess, I hope this isn’t too forward but I have romantic feelings for you and I would like to date you on a date. With just you and me...a romantic gesture.” 
Allura felt her own face burn, confusion plaguing her mind. “Did you and Lance break up?” She gave her a remorseful frown. 
Romelle tilted her head in confusion, “break up? What?! Lance and I were never dating.” 
Allura raised her eyebrows, “you weren’t? But you two are always together.”
Romelle shook her head, “no no no. We are just friends. Strictly platonic friends.” 
“Oh...so you like me?” 
Romelle smiled, “wasn’t that obvious?” 
Allura rolled her eyes in a friendly manner, “obviously not.” She reached out and gently grasped the other woman's hand, “so you want to go on a date?” 
Romelle knew her marks were glowing and she squeezed Allura’s hand, “I would very much like that.” 
--- 
Lance walked down the hallway towards the training deck, mumbling words under his breath. “Hey Keith, I like you and I was wondering if you wanted to date-go on a date. With me. Just the two of us.”
He shook his head, trying again, “Hey Keith I want to kiss you till I can’t breathe.” 
He shook his head again. He and Romelle decided it was time to ask their respective crushes and Lance said he would when she asked Allura. He didn’t expect her to leave his room and immediately head to Allura’s. 
He stopped at the entrance to the training room, his eyes following Keith as he swung at the training bots. 
Telling Keith his feelings was already going to be hard enough, but telling Keith post-training? His knees were shaking a bit. 
Keith looked over at him, “end training sequence!” The bots fell to the ground, “what’s going on?” He walked over to his watch pouch, using his shirt to wipe his face from sweat. 
Lance cleared his throat, “I um...wanted to ask you something.” 
Keith gave him a confused look, “okay.” 
Lance took a deep breath, “I like you.” 
Keith tilted his head slightly, “that wasn’t a question.” 
Lance fought back a groan, “my point still stands.” 
Keith took a sip from his pouch, “does Romelle know?” 
Lance nodded, “yeah she told me to tell you.” 
“Oh,” Keith’s eyes scanned the room, looking at the shutdown bots. “So what does that mean for you two?” 
“Me and who?” 
“You and Romelle? She’s your girlfriend right?” 
Lance didn’t miss how Keith spit out those words like they burned his tongue. “No. She’s not my girlfriend.” 
“So she’s your ex?” 
Lance shook his head, “no. She and I never dated.” 
Keith looked at him with confusion, “you two never dated?” 
“Correct.” 
“But...you are always together, whispering, being...coupley.” 
“Because we needed someone to gush to about you! Well she gushed about Allura and I gushed about you- you get the picture!” 
“Oh,” Keith looked down at his shoes, “so you like me.” 
“Yes. Mullet and all.” 
Keith found a smile on his face, “I don’t have a mullet.” He looked up, meeting Lance’s eyes. 
Lance lifted his hand and touch the end of Keith's hair, “hmm I think it’s a mullet.” 
“But you still like it,” Keith inched closer. 
“Yeah...because it’s yours.” Lance moved slightly closer. 
Keith was lost in those blue eyes, he didn’t even realize how close they were until Lance's lips brushed over his, slowly applying pressure; then Keith let his eyes close.
-----
I’ve been writing so many kiss scenes 
I hope you liked it <3
Thank you for reading <33333
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d10nyx · 10 days
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havent made an ask for like 6 days now, was hella confused when i saw the new stuff under the tag LMFAO nyx u might have 2 🍼anons now… also may i present this idea…. husband!leon w wife!reader, but reader had a husband before leon! her old hubby was the love of her life; her 1st friend, 1st kiss, 1st date. they had a son, but her hubby passed away after getting super sick.. reader’s parents r fuckin assholes so they pushed her to remarry, lest their grandkid grow up fatherless. they didn’t approve of her old husband, so they think it’s a blessing he died so she could try again w a better man! 
so they arranged a marriage for her. bright-eyed, young officer leon kennedy instantly won her parents over w just his smile! & leon treats reader so well; kisses her hand, hugs her so gently, cares 4 her son that isn’t even his by blood. he loves her like no other, his new darling wife<3!! but thing is,, he isn’t reader’s old lover :(.. reader resents leon bc she was forced to marry him; a replacement of her late partner. no matter what leon tries/does, reader’s unresponsive to his affection & always pushes him away. she pulls her son away if leon tries talking to him. her son’s the only thing left of her old lover, god forbid he grows up to be like leon.
& leon’s just tryna love her, trying his best to be a good husband, baby doesn’t understand y she’s so cold..(◞‸◟) resorts to drinking to forget abt it. when he becomes an agent, he’s fed up w the bullshit missions & coming back home 2 a heartless woman (she didn’t even care abt what he experienced when the event in Raccoon City happened!)he’s so tired of trying to get reader to come around, it’s been years & nothing!!. the kid doesn’t talk to him anymore either bc his bitch of a mommy told him not to. he gets so fed up, that one day, he just snaps & bends reader over, decides to fuck his frustration into her. he’s drunk, she’s crying, but this is the most contact leon’s ever felt in a loooong time. doesn’t regret a thing when he’s sober. she doesn’t deserve an apology, & he’s already so far gone!. plus, she owes him after taking everything away from him.<3 
—🍼
OMG STOP I JUST REALISED ALL THEIRS END IN A FULL STOP TOO UM... CHANGED THE HASHTAG FOR NOW TO DIFFERENTIATE THE TWO SORRY POOKS I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE SKSJDJS
but um... god the way you always cook has me reeling ughhhh omfg like. it becomes a regular thing for leon to do it at this point, breaks reader down enough to where she doesn't even flinch away from him anymore. she doesn't love him, she hates him even more now... but like, she's numb enough not to care...
SO !! leon can finally pretend he's in a happy relationship even if you ignore him... now he can cuddle you, touch you and fuck you without a complaint :3
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d4iryqueen · 5 months
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update: my mom did in fact intervene in a way. she pointed out how skinny i got over 2 weeks (they were v stressful for my whole family, especially me n my mom and she knows abt my ed so she figured it out quickly). what happened is that i have noticed my bones sticking out more and abs showing (for the 1st time in my life!), but my weight stayed the same thoughout, so i thought im just unsure of what i actually look like and/or am imagining it because i wish i looked like that. but because she keeps on talking about how i look really thin and …unattractive (she fr still thinks eds develop bc people want to be skinny bc skinny=pretty????)…. i actually accepted that i really am that thin. that my ribs are actually showing. that my hip bones do in fact protrude from my pants. and i love it. however, as much as i adore this, it made me feel “safe” in my eating? idk… i had shitty ass sleep bc i felt quite sick after yesterdays dinner, i slept only for 4 hrs max which is v little for me. so i was extremely tired today, took a caffeine pill and drank an energy drink on an empty stomach in the morning and went to school. i kinda overdosed on the caffeine, yeah :/. but i ended up having a v successful day, i did more than i thought i’d be able to with how tired i was/am. soooo… i allowed myself to eat basically anything i want until im not hungry anymore. i didnt have a plan today bc i simply focused on not being extra tweaked out or passing out in school and was nauseous so i literally didnt think about food at all in that way.
to make this long story short : i ate 2085 calories worth of food that i didnt plan and im glad that i didnt binge, but also im shocked by how easily my behavior got influenced by someone i truly love and care about.
its not a bad thing and in the end, i cant be *always* in a deficit realistically, plus if im in a plateau maybe it’ll help? even if i would gain (which i truly dont think i will) then id still be skinny af. and … it feels quite good tbh. im proud of myself for getting here and actually recognising it (nothing hurts more than seeing pics of you at lw and remembering you used to believe you were too large), but im also not proud of myself for letting go today. extremely proud of myself for not even thinking about binging tho. like i just ate like a normal person for 1 meal (dinner, as lunch was high cal safe food combos, which still contained much more things and cals than what id allow myself on a normal day). im having mixed feelings. but im also content. tomorrow? who knows what approach ill take towards my diet. and idk how ill feel about today when tomorrow comes, either. but for now, i just want to sleep. im gonna maybe reblog a bit, but ultimately im gonna take a sleeping pill to finally slee through the whole night and r e s t my body cos i need it.
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kackle · 2 years
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Lol just had a mini conflict with some ppl on Twitter, imma bring up points that they made and my responses. I find it interesting on how they seem to be recycling the same points and then just cursing and insulting the bylers lol.
Btw, i tried to keep on a non bias agenda during these so keep that in mind.
WARNING: Very long post
Person One (talking abt a byler shipper) : I genuinely have no words.... Like the way they're all completely refusing to comprehend the monologue and Mikes love and care for El.... They would rather cut their right arm off than see an abuse victim finallv receive the love she deserves it's absolutelv sick.
Lmao the amount of inaccuracy from this take ^
My response: I mean they're kinda right? Mike had to be pushed and encouraged by Will to say those things in first place. He couldn't say it when El was literally being choked to death he had to be reminded of the painting that he thinks El commissioned. (she didn't) "You're the heart mike"
Person One (Talking to me) : If Mike didn’t love El, how would the idea that she thought he was the heart change that? The reason Mike needed help to say it was because of his own insecurities, not because he didn’t mean it. No matter what pushed Mike to say it, the fact of the matter is that the contents of the monologue are all about El, to El. A huge monologue. Mike doesn’t tell her because he thinks El helped with the drawing, he told her because Will made him see that his love is valuable
My response: Not what I meant lol. My theory is that he didn’t love her as much or in the way el wanted him to or maybe that he was falling out of love, and the way that Will described it to him resonated with him and helped him gain confidence to say I love you, whether he meant it or not. Imo, I think that Mike doesn’t love el the way he’s supposed to and he’s recognizing it and maybe feels guilty about it so saying “I love you” is like lying to her face. Plus I doubt it’s bc he’s insecure El has told him time and time again that she loves him. She’s told him in letter after letter after letter. Told him in S3 and kissed him while he just stood there with his eyes open not touching her, just being completely still. Which is..weird, considering he was making out with her at the beginning of the season. If he was really insecure and his whole thing about saying it and admitting his feelings would make the day that El realizes she doesn’t need him anymore hurt more is strange bc that just exposes him for thinking he’s nobody while El’s a “Superhero” El herself didn’t want to be called a superhero she wanted to be recognized as her own person, a normal person, like Mike. And those insecurities of hers are shown when she says she’s different, and she doesn’t want to feel like that. And yet mike keeps saying it?? In short he’s basically saying, “I’m insecure because I think I’m dating literal superman and I’m a nobody who just happened to find her in the woods that day.” That makes El feel like her and Mike are too different and just “a superhero” and nothing else, and mike can’t see that.
Person Two (Talking abt my first response) : In that moment it didn’t occur to him because his main priority was making sure she could breathe. Plus don’t forget the fact that Mike was about to tell her he loves her right before Argyle interrupted. He had already attempted to twice before but was always interrupted. + It does feel a little cheap though that Will had to prompt it. Idk I feel like that wasn’t the best writing. Mike should of said it on his own since he’s always felt it.
My Response: They could have easily made them cool and a power couple at the end, and set up for S5, make Mike have an actual good monologue, and a kiss at the end.. but they didn’t and it’s either they have no Idea what to do with them or they’re trying to set something up.
-not to mention the time skip, it happens right as the climax is finishing but we don’t get to see it? Why?
Person two: Imo the Duffers just aren’t that good at writing romance tbh. They thought him saying it while El was in danger it would be more impactful. Which in a way it was but Will shouldn’t have had to prompt it. Unpopular but all the couples besides Lumax aren’t written well this season. Even Lumax at points as well. I love them but most of time they are broken up and they just feel like friends. I know lovely dovey isn’t them but I honestly can’t tell if they were officially still together or not last season besides like the first episode.
My Response: They have so many relationships to fix up that I have no idea how they’re going to fix it all in 12 hours or less? If just a dumb decision on their part. Especially with Mileven, they could have fixed that relationship if they chose to keep Argyle out, but. They. Didn’t.
Person Two: I heard season 5 might be shorter maybe like 9 or 10 hours. Idk why they like to push everything to the last minute. That’s why everything feels so rushed. Jopper is definitely the most solid couple atm.
My Response: Exactly, and they have so much to repair with Mileven so I question their decisions and their writing skills atp.
Person 3’s response to a Byler: one thing bylers are going to do is somehow make mikes monologue about will.
My Response: Lol Mike probably wouldn’t have said those things without Wills encouragement just saying.
Person 4’s Response to me: He was about to tell her i love you in season 3 before he was interrupted and when they were eating pizza before he was interrupted.
My Response: You realize that the van scene was before that right? Also we don’t rlly know that I’m sure he was going to but the duffers didn’t do that. It doesn’t make sense to me, it would have felt more meaningful if he said it on his own, without being encouraged in that moment. Which is just confusing? Why save Mileven for later? They could have easily had that convo, have El know that he already loves her and have her fight on her own. They could have ended it like they usually do and have then say I love you and kiss.. But they didn’t? Imo, If they rlly wanted Mileven to be as good as ships like Jopper and Lumax then why? It just doesn’t make sense and neither does mikes monologue. They ended it off with, “???” With Mileven. They could have easily had a set up where Mileven was a cute power couple by S5. 🤷‍♀️
Person 4’s response: He opened up and that takes time? He’s struggled with his experiencing for opening up. If you haven’t experienced struggling with your emotions in a relationship, don’t speak on it. He took his time and that’s okay.
My Response: Lol I do, I hate talking abt my feelings personally. Which is why I kinda relate to Mike. But if I knew someone loved me that much, when they show it and tell me, then I would say it. And if my insecurities were causing the other pain then maybe we need time away. In a realistic stand point that isn’t healthy. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who makes you feel insecure, especially if it isn’t their fault. That’s problems that you have to figure out yourself. And mike always wanting to be with El and being over bearing Like that is not healthy at all. I used to ship Mileven but the way they started to portray it in S3 & S4 is not it. If they want them together they shouldn’t have written it like that and waited all season to repair their relationship in the last season in which they plan to be Shorter makes no sense at all. If anything with the amount of ships they left in the dark ST5 might just turn into a drama romance scifi if they aren’t careful. Imo, Mileven is beyond repair, and if they do it’ll probably be poor writing, and undermines their characters like hell.
Person 4’s response: He was going to in season 3!!!!
My Response: Yeah but they never made that happen?? So why would they do that? To save Mileven till last season? That’s stupid and just causes unnecessary drama. The amount of Milevens I’ve seen change from wanting them to just be friends bc of season 3 & 4 💀💀
Person 4’s response: Well they’ve had Development and if you can’t see that, that’s your vision which I can’t change. The duffers worked really hard on this season and Probably wanted people to ask questions. He also said he’s loved Eleven since he saw her. Speaks for itself.
My Response: Lmao well that’s rlly bullshit and rlly questionable on their part. In S1 E2 they discuss abt what to do with el bc if you found some lil kid in the woods wouldn’t you take them in? Mike had a whole ass plan of what to do with her and to “Send her back to wherever she came from” And then “we’ll too totally be in the clear and tomorrow night we’ll go out and this time we’ll find will.” His main priority was finding Will and he was just being nice. The only reason why she was kept there was bc the “bad men” were after her. If he rlly loved her then he would have kept her in his house just bc he loved her. Not to mention the ST writers don’t believe in love at first sight and kinda clowned on it with Argyle and Eden in that one scene. So It makes u question if they’re bad writers, Or if Mike monologue’s was lies. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s both lol.
Person 5’s response to my first response: Don't you guys really watch the show Or understand how screen writing works Mike tried many times and he was interrupted by Dustin and argyle The whole monologue thing was designed Because it's crucial in the end Where el fights vecna It's all a pattern.
My Response: Yeah but It would have been better if he confessed without being interrupted and El could have gone into the fight knowing that mike loves her Just like Max knew her friends did.. But they didn’t. In which completely threw away her independence arc. She needed her bf to save her when they could have set it up differently, but they didn’t? Which is why I think if they don’t make Mileven break up or at least work thru their problems then that’s just horrible writing. They sacrificed her whole character dev for a cute scene.
Person 6’s response: I think mikes hug with hopper was pretty meaningful towards future mileven. they came full circle with that duo bc there won’t be young love dramatics next season. The resolved the dumb tropes from s3/4 (hopper not liking mike/Mike’s ILY) and set them up fairly well for s5 Aside from El’s likely internal self hatred after the max/ vecna fail. I’m sure after what he told her, El will consider herself the monster again or at least the one to blame for opening the gate in ‘83. That’s probably the only source of tension mileven will have going into s5
My Response: Yeah that may happen too, there are too many things going on in their relationship and too many conflicts to workout, considering that they left all of the other ships in the dark, Ie, Mileven, Byler, Lumax, Jancy, Stancy, etc. Also a lot of unanswered questions. Also considering that they’re aiming for only 12 hours or less, and the fact that they have to fit in the sci-fi / thriller concept is a lot to grasp. And they also broke from the pattern where one of them says I love you or kiss and the end.. That didn’t happen? To me if they wanted Mileven to be canon they should have stuck to the pattern that they had usually had instead of saving it with the next season when they have a lot of things to wrap up. Which honestly tells me they’re mainly going to be focusing on will and the ships in ST5. If they want to start another conflict in a season where all of the other ships are in a conflict as well is confusing and it makes me feel like it will be rushed and poorly written. I hope that they were planning this and can turn it around, but I don’t have much faith.
I wanna hear what you all think of these interactions and I might post more of these lol ppl on twt funny 💀💀
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borgchip · 2 years
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Hggbhgg... gender... techy characters & gender... Voyager and gender. We love to see it. I wish there was more of it . Thinking abt Seven & the doctor's experience with gender is always really interesting to me, because I think like...they're in a way very similar, but also very different (at least in my headcanon obviously). And like. It's really fascinating. Forgive me if I go on abt this for a minute (Under the cut, if you wanna read it (please do read it it's really good I promise-))
I think seven has absolutely no attachment to gender. Like. she accepts that she's a woman, and she isn't UNCOMFORTABLE with that, but 'being a woman' means nothing to her. Personality wise she has not acted in any kind of gendered way at all to me, if her character was male I don't think she herself would really be any different. Even when she's in that like cutesy dressed up look in Someone To Watch Over Me, she still walks and carries herself like a fuckin terminator fjdjfj. Plus, she calls her male date "beautiful", which kind of implies she isn't even aware of certain gendered terms (Which, why would she be, she was barely a child when she was assimilated). Seven is just going about her time completely in spite of her sex, it's Voyager and people around her pushing this box of hyper femininity onto her. I mean... It's been said before...the doctor made her outfit for gods sake.
I love posts talking about Seven getting top surgery because I honestly think she would enjoy that, it's realistic to her character to me. Not because she has any kind of dysphoria, but boobs can be heavy and inconvenient, and maybe she's even kinda tired of people staring at her chest. The whole thing about Sevens character that frustrates me is how much she is incessantly forced into conforming to everything, not even being asked if it's what she wants or not. It's just kind of assumed that it's the best thing for her, as untruthful as that may be. I think the idea of her taking back autonomy of her own body and just doing whatever the hell she wants is really empowering, especially in conjunction with her entire backstory. Being "liberated" from the borg, all the same, no individuality. I feel sometimes like Seven's story (at least in Voyager) falls flat because it feels like she's going from one oppressive system to another, with one just being a lot more over the top.
As for the doctor... In his original state, I feel like he could've been anything?
He as a hologram doesn't even HAVE a sex, nor an assigned gender. Not really. His physical characteristics/presentation are just an addendum to his program, something to make him easier to talk to and interact with. His physical "self" can be changed with the flick of a switch, and his program, originally, had absolutely no use for gender roles. His entire designation of personhood was just to be a doctor. To heal the sick, help the injured. The fact that his creator was a man and used himself to model the doc's appearance was just chance. mentality wise, he was a blank slate.
From what I can remember….early seasons Doctor also did not show any inherently socially gendered traits. He was rude and kind of arrogant, but not much in a toxic masculine "i need to prove myself" type of way (and now I have learned he also gets much of that from his creators lol). It isn't until the doctor starts interacting with people more, until his world opens up past healing that he starts showing the like…weird sexism adjacent behavior. Which... I don't think that is a coincidence.
One of my biggest ideas about the doctor has always been that that sexism and hard/fast heterosexuality he always displays is learned behavior. The doctor is VERY impressionable, that's abundantly clear if you're paying attention to it. I swear to god, watch ANY scene where he and a character are arguing about something, he always caves within...5 seconds. TOPS. A lot of the doctor's growth comes from him wanting to be taken seriously, then to be appreciated, and finally in maybe season 3 when he really starts openly wanting to be human. He wants people to see him the exact same as anybody else, he wants to experience life like any person would, but he's always getting pushback for it.
I think, honestly, just based on his personality and interests, the doctor would be open to and really enjoy exploring other expressions of gender. The roles, the looks, the social aspect, the sense of self. Exploration in a "seeking the bounds of the entire human experience" sort of thing. If Voyager wasn't filmed in the 90s, and the fictional society was a lot more progressive, "the doctor spends a day exploring their womanhood, manhood, and everything else in between, and gets very carried away/learns a lesson about personhood during" does NOT sound like an out there plotline to me. I think the reason the doctor DISPLAYS so much conservativity is because he is going solely based on everything he sees around him. What he reads in books, what he observes of the crew, what he's researched himself. From everything on the ship, to him, heterosexuality seems like the "norm", and men act this way and women act that way, and obviously there's nothing WRONG if you don't, but that's just how it is!
Seven is the victim of gender roles + heteronormativity because she's Forced to conform, whereas the doctor Wants to conform. He craves to be acknowledged and validated as a True Human Person, and will do anything and act any way (within his morals) to be accepted as such. And in a lot of ways I don't know if he even knows he's doing it. It's all just...internalized crap. Which is where I think him not realizing he's attracted to guys from also but that's a different subject...
"We gave this emh a soul" "you've socialized a perfectly good hologram is what you did, look at it it's mildly homophobic" And that's why I find this so interesting, like. They have such similar experiences and yet end up taking that in totally different directions. That's something I think Voyager does do very very well, is parallels. and it has a lot of them. Seven and the Doctor both sort of have a "baseline" of gender nonconformity specifically because of their experiences. In Seven's case, she wasn't really given the time to conform or even learn about society's expectations of her, which is probably explanation for her "unique" behaviors, and why she still clings to Borg ideals and procedures despite not being a drone anymore. It's rlly the only kind of "society" she's ever known.
Obviously I don't wanna imply there's any connection between like "weird/alien" traits and gender nonconformity. But... the reason I find nonbinary robots/etc so compelling is because to me, they give a view into what could be if people were born completely without any social roles, gender assignment, pronouns etc etc. Tech characters to me exist in this sort of bubble outside of society, where unless something is specifically programmed into them, they get sort of an outside view of it in a very clinical way and are able to form their own feelings about it in a way completely pure and unique to them (If they're lucky they'll have no outside influence for it at all, just learning what is fully themselves). That's really interesting to me. I think seven and the doctor exemplify that kind of idea really well. But, also how it could go wrong yaknow. Both in-universe and writing wise :/
I can still dream of more complicated explorations of sexuality/gender in my star trek episodes if they won't give it to me themselves fgkrthrth
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i need reassurance on this one, and tw for hallucinations, kinda intrusive thoughts(?) and loads of shitty things that kept on happening
I've been through a lot of shits in these past few months, and i swear to god it kept getting worser. I don't feel safe anymore in my own house, i had trouble sleeping, focus, and literally handling my own panic attack.
I just want all of these stuff to stop happening, my hallucinations even got worser day by day cause of those horrifying shits. I don't wanna see those stuff anymore, or went back to that place anymore, i don't want it and i'm sick of these feelings. It felt like those events were happening again even tho nothing happened in real life, obviously no one fucking feel it except for me cause i was the one who's experiencing it. Plus these voices that told me another horrifying shits? (like the possibility of any little things could ruin everything or even cause a literal apocalypse wtf) It's a literal living hell. I just wanted to live my life normally is it really hard to ask for?
I had friends who i dearly cared, for finally i had friends! But this? When i went back from uni i got...these??? Mostly it's about my grandma's sis, no one was/were willing to take care of her and she's so goddamn arrogant to other people, don't even get me started with her son he clearly didn't care for her anymore. BUT that's THEIR shits not my family's! Ofcourseeee we care about her but it's been fucking months and even my fam were so done at her and her son at this point, and because of her condition she'd have to get to the hospital like really often.
I had to rush her to the hospital when i was home alone and god that traumatized me so much, like ffs i'd rather be killed instead of living in that exact moment
I wanted to be angry but i couldn't and when i talked abt my feelings my mom only told me to accept all of this....
It's like i'm still processing and i couldn't do it because the pressure of "accepting" all of these so quickly...
i just want them to stop but obviously i can't control them, and yeah there are things that i couldn't control but this is too much. I wish i could but the hell can i do i'm just a kid.....
Hi anon,
I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. I can see that you're going through a lot right now and you're struggling. Please know that you're not alone.
It's okay to take your time processing your experiences, and no one should make you feel rushed, including your mom. It sounds dismissive and minimizing of her to tell you to just accept it, when it's very jarring and traumatizing. I wish your mom were more considerate about the fact that this was quite an upsetting experience for you, and understandably so.
It's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel however you need or want to feel about what happened. Part of processing what you went through is processing those emotions. Healing from trauma is done at your own pace. Please know that healing isn't linear, and so there may be some rough patches along the way, though it's still worth it.
I'm sorry that you experience hallucinations and flashbacks. These things can definitely be terrifying to go through. Please know that there are resources available to help you through these things. Here is a list of coping strategies for hallucinations, and here is a PDF on coping with flashbacks.
If your school has counseling services, it may help to reach out to them and talk about what you're experiencing and going through. As professionals they may be able to help you further.
I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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faggotmox · 1 year
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oh fuck i'm abt to talk abt growing up the child of alcoholics with a bryan as an older brother so scroll on or hit read more, i do not care.
my moms drank herself to death. she drank our whole lives & well before it. my dad too but he's a passive drinker. anyways, the point being my mom was fucked up, she had mental health issues & came from a physically & emotionally abusive home. as a child she was kept from her father after her parents divorced, her mother beat her at times, & she often had to protect her little brother who is kinda slow.
guess what kinda environment she made for us? my moms never laid hands on us, but she abused emotionally & mentally. the shit she did always raised alarm bells with me (crawling into my bed, drunk at early hours as she cried abt how she's a bad mom to me & things along these lines). my brother did not see these things are red flags or alarms.
my mom & I were my brother's only blood relatives here bc my mom took him from his dad after her divorce & moved across the country (huh kinda like how her mom kept her from her dad after their split, huh???). my dad was a fine father to us (aside from the drinking & queerphobia) but he was only my brother's dad by default which is proved now after my mom's passing & my dad doesnt really want anything to do with my brother.
anyways, my mom was all my brother had. so there was always an excuse or a reason why what she was doing was okay or fine or didn't matter. ofc we never had big blow up abt shit, bc in real life people just die they don't have big dramatic bullshit. but bryan's point of view, his excuses, his reasoning, runs parallel to my brother's feelings & place. i was the one trying so hard to get him to see, so he didn't get fucked up by her. i never wanted to like cut my mom out, maybe get her help but yeah she died before that, i just didnt want my brother wrapped up in her issues which caused issues in him.
i the kid that realized i was an alcoholic & got to work on that. my brother didn't, he still doesn't see what she did & we are going five plus years post death by drinking. & we watcher her kill herself, she was told to stop drinking & she pared down. drank "only" beer & wine, nothing hard, & ofc that was still making her sick. she eventually got sick enough she couldn't drink really.
so much of the emotional charge between regal, bryan, & mox, all people who have first hand experience with life threatening addiction, is so fucking real. if youve never been in it, like we have, you may not understand the pain these three are sharing & presenting to us. ive been mox holding onto the rope, shaking & wanting to plead for bryan to see but knowing he wont. ive been bryan, blinded by the love of someone important & special something unconditional. & ive been regal, a drunk who has hurt the people around me.
god that fucked me up. but it did it's job. it got under my skin, it triggered me & forced me to deal with certain feelings ive compartmentalized. as a person who has lived, in a way, every aspect of this story they're telling...its accurate & it hurts & its fucking painful & it's good. as hard & painful & unwanted as this is for me, its also good for me. & as someone who cant fathom putting that out there, on a national stage, i respect what they're doing bc it must be fuckin hard.
i lost over a year's sobriety on October 25th. i only got a few weeks under me anymore. & in a way this reminded me that it's going to relapse, that it's part of recovery, & i can move forward from here. its fuckin dumb that this shit can work, like when it's something you want to & need to see, art can work really well to help you realize shit. it fuckin sucks but im not alone. my mom wasn't alone. my brother isn't alone. even if we don't quiet see it.
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