#plus i might have a bit of a pinterest problem at this point

[tsukkisbean]

how they cheer your up | headcanons

genre: fluff

characters: iwaizumi hajime, miya osamu, terushima yūji, kunimi akira x gn!reader

warnings: none!

a/n: hello if you’re seeing this, that means my scheduled post worked, yay!! hopefully this shows up in the tags otherwise i’ll have to reupload it at a later time (sorry in advance if that’s the case hehe). i’m also trying my hand at writing for other characters so hopefully this does their characters justice??

anyways, i hope everyone is doing well and staying healthy and happy! if you requested something from me, sorry i haven’t gotten to it even though i said i would. i’ll try my best to complete them when i get the chance, thank you for being patient with me 💖 all boys after iwaizumi are under the cut!

iwaizumi hajime

best boy iwaizumi would without a doubt use exercise as a way to cheer you up

but don’t get me wrong, he’s not going to force you to run a marathon or anything like that

i imagine him taking you to one of those entertainment/game parks (not really sure what they’re called ahh) where you guys just hang out all day

when you get there, he’ll immediately take you to the batting cage so you can just channel out all your anger into your swings

once your blood is pumping from the adrenaline he’ll take you to the trampoline area where you guys just bounce around and do flips into the foam pit to burn off all your extra energy

you’ll just be chilling, jumping up and down on one of the trampolines, your back turned to iwaizumi when he straight up scoops you up and tosses you in

he’s cackling and dying of laughter and when he finally offers to help you out you grab his hand and pull him in

when he doesn’t resurface you get nervous, where could he be?

from the corner of your eye you see the foam rumbling slightly but you react too slowly and iwaizumi pops out and tackles you in the biggest hug, peppering kisses all over your face and people are staring as you scream your head off trying to pry him off of you

for dinner, you guys indulge in all the greasy food the park has to offer, and by the end you’re stuffed

to help with digestion you suggest a game of mini golf which iwaizumi gladly agrees to

for someone who played volleyball his aim is absolutely horrifying

he argues that the windmill is IMPOSSIBLE to get a good score on and no one can ever get a hole in one

luck must have been on your side because you get a hole in one right after (and so does the small child behind you guys, but you choose not to tell him that)

you end up destroying him (he lowkey hints that he let you win but we know that’s not the case)

when the park closes, instead of taking you straight home, he’ll take you to a nearby park and the two of you just stroll around enjoying the chill of the night and the stars in the sky

miya osamu

he pulls you onto the couch next to him and the two of you look through baking videos on youtube and osamu being osamu cannot decide because he wants to make them all

eventually you guys settle on a cake recipe by cooking tree (a/n: 10/10 would recommend watching them, their videos are super soothing and aesthetic esp if you enjoy cooking asmr!!)

so at 9pm you guys set off to the grocery store to buy the ingredients you guys are missing 

the trip takes much longer than expected because osamu keeps putting in more and more snacks that you guys definitely don’t need

so instead of shopping osamu is trying to grab as many snacks as you can while you trail behind, trying to put them away  because your pantry is already way too full

by the time you get home it’s close to 12 and you’re tired but osamu insists that you guys start now

for the most part all goes well, you guys manage to get the batter to look smooth in the cake pan (definitely some playful flour throwing here and there)

the real problem is assembling the cake. at this point you’re wondering why you guys decided on a 3-layered cake that required cutting

teases you for cutting the first layer slanted and so you pass over the cutting to him but his slicing work is just as bad and you just have to bring up the fact that he owns a restaurant but apparently his knife skills suck

you thought cutting the cake would be a problem?? now you guys have to fill the layers and it’s a complete disaster; there’s whipped cream just everywhere and at this point you guys are half filling the cake half throwing it at each other

cake ends up being iced unevenly but that’s the least of your problems

you guys pour the decorative icing on top and instead of running over the sides only slightly, it drips messily down the cake and onto the counter and now you guys have a blob of a cake

you guys spend the rest of the night cleaning up and pass out on the couch and in the morning you guys enjoy a sweet breakfast together <3

terushima yūji

terushima is a free soul and so he believes expressing yourself through art is one of the best ways to feel better

when he sees that you’re down, he’ll immediately whip out all of his salon products and pull you into the bathroom

he takes you by surprise saying that he wants you to whatever you want to his hair - today his hair is your canvas

at first you’re reluctant, but he insists - as a hair stylist it’s all about experimentation with styles and colours and plus he can easily fix whatever you do considering that it is his job after all

so you guys scroll through pinterest together, trying to find some fun hair ideas that you’d be able to pull off on your own (with some instruction from teru of course)

you finally decide on a style and so together start on getting all the hair dye ready

he explains to you the different types of develops and how important they are in the hair colouring process - there are different volumes and will essentially affect how much your hair colour changes

after all the colours are mixed and ready to go, you gingerly grab a piece of hair, constantly checking your phone to make sure you’re doing it exactly like the photo

meanwhile terushima has the softest smile on his face, watching you through the mirror - he thinks you look absolutely adorable with the way your brows are furrowed and your tongue sticks on slightly as you focus

as you run the colour brush along his hair, he’s constantly encouraging you, telling you what a good job you’re doing and how he’s so excited to the end product

while the dye sits in his hair, you sit in his lap

once it’s time to wash out the hair dye, you bring him to the sink and carefully run your hands through his hair, trying your best to give him the best head massage he’s ever had!!!

after toning and a hair treatment, your masterpiece if finally done!! ofc being the boyfriend he is, he takes a million photos and posts them on social media to show how talented his significant other is - like not only is it your first time dying someone’s hair but you managed to pull off RAINBOW hair!! (a/n: think sehun from exo as a reference hehe) he literally will not shut up about you to his clients tomorrow

kunimi akira

kunimi has a rep for being lazy and just overall a really nonchalant kind of person but he’s sharp, so when you’re feeling down he immediately picks up on it even if he doesn’t confront you about it

however i don’t think he’d be as aggressive as the other three and do something huge rather he tries to make you feel better only in smaller ways and it definitely adds up

like in the morning he’ll make you coffee or tea or whatever you want - orange juice, a bakery bun? he’ll make an excuse saying he wanted something from the convenience store anyways and head down. when he comes back  with three bags of food and drinks he’ll insist that he just grabbed whatever he saw because he was “too lazy to decide” n b d

throughout the day he’ll be a lot more affectionate than usual, hugging you whenever he gets the chance, maybe even a kiss on your forehead

when you tell him you want to go out on your own for a bit  he doesn’t argue - whatever you need to do but when your back is turned he’ll slip you a handwritten note telling you to enjoy your alone time and that he l-word you and it’s even signed off with a teensy teensy heart that you almost don’t notice

when you get back, you’re greeted with the smell of your delicious food mixed with a burning smell and on the kitchen table you see takeout from your favourite restaurants and in the garbage is a black burnt mess - kunimi insists he doesn’t know how it got there even though its quite obvious

you bring the food to the living room and to your surprise there’s a blanket fort set up with pillows spread out all across the floor

when you try to question him, he just shrugs saying that it’s not that hard to throw a blanket over a couple of chairs, even a baby could do it

today he lets you choose the movie even though it’s technically his turn and when you choose a  comedy he doesn’t complain about the obnoxiously loud and hot headed lead character

when the movie is over, he quickly cleans up all the trash, making sure you don’t have time to move from your spot

when he comes back, he flops on top of you, holding you close

then he plays the spotify playlist that he made for you; it’s a whole mix of songs - slow, upbeat, instrumentals - anything he thought might help you feel even the tiniest bit better

and so you guys just lay there not speaking, enjoying each other’s presence until you fall asleep

#haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #miya osamu #iwaizumi hajime #terushima yuji #kunimi akira #osamu x reader #iwaizumi x reader #terushima x reader #kunimi x reader #clara click clacks

[jeonqquk]

tattooing | jjh

Pairing- Jaehyun X Reader

Genre/ Tags- fluff, crack, bi jaehyun, lucas royally fucks up, tattooing

Age rating- 13+

Word count- 2.6k words

Summary- Tattooing doesn’t go as planned.

POV- Third person

Your whining wasn’t gonna get you anywhere, you were well aware of the fact. But you supposed that you might as well give it a shot. The ‘it’ here being the fact that you really wanted Jaehyun to get a tattoo. It wasn’t that you wanted to somehow blackmail Jae into getting a tattoo. Oh god, no. You’d never want that. It was just that you had always been fond of tattoos, the meaningful ones, not the totally unnecessary, really weird looking, out of the world ones. Jaehyun with a tattoo would be fucking hot though, that was just a plus point- not the main reason as to why you wanted him to get one. 

You were thinking a sweet quote or something, but that would only be possible of he was willing to get one.

“Jae, baby, what do you think about getting a tattoo?” your boyfriend of 3 years sighs, rubbing his hand on your knee that had been placed on his thigh. “I don’t know..maybe later. Why are you so intent on me getting a tattoo though?” he wiggles his eyebrows, suggestively or whatever, and you look at him in confusion, trying your level best to stop the blood threatening to creep up your cheeks. You clear your throat and reply simply “I feel like a tattoo would be beautiful. Just permanently inked onto your skin. It should be something purposeful though. I don’t want you going bald and tattooing a zipper on your scalp.” 

A snort is heard from him “Don’t worry, I’m not going bald. Although it’s a very tempting idea.” Rolling your eyes at his lame comment, you sit up and move over to cuddle closer to him on the couch. He wraps his left arm around you “Why don’t you get a tatto Y/n?” he questions and you look up at him in mild shock. Well, you could get a tattoo. You are of legal age and stuff but the thought had never crossed your mind. You don’t know why.

“....I could...” Jaehyun smiles, his dimples popping out and you can’t help but mirror the sweet action. “So why don’t you? We’re not even doing anything and I know for a fact that you have a lot of designs saved on your Pinterest board. Even if they were for me, you can try finding one that suits you too.”

Suddenly feeling giddy, you quickly grab your phone from the coffee table and unlock it, clicking on the app you needed. As you find the board, you see that you’ve gained 18 followers in the time span of 2 weeks. Huh.

As you scroll through the pins of small intricate designs that could be engraved onto a finger or hand, Jaehyun points out one that looked like watercolour art and was in the form of a small flower with red petals. It did look quite cute, to be honest. “Hmm, this does look nice. Won’t it look good on my collarbone?” Jaehyun nods in agreement “I was thinking that too.” Smiling up at him, you look into his eyes “Well, should I get this?” Your boyfriend chuckles at your excitement, and pats your head in adoration. “I know that you’re excited, sweetie. But don’t you wanna try looking at other designs before deciding?” Humming, you scroll a bit more as Jaehyun reads a novel. But you don’t find anything that captures your attention a lot. Sure the sweet quotes, couple tattoos and nature-related  designs are great ideas for a tattoo but you were set on the one with the rose.

Jaehyun coos when you tell him that, squishing your cheeks and telling you that the two of you could go to a shop tomorrow and get design inked onto your collarbone forever. 

It’s 9:28 am when you wake up from your slumber and turn to give Jaehyun who looks like he had also woken up just a few minutes ago a peck on his lips. His dimples are visible as he smiles and greets you. The two of you get up and freshen up before you’re sitting at the dining table to eat blueberry pancakes. 

The clock shows that it’s 10:30 am by the time you two leave the house and head for the tattoo store you had researched last night. It takes 15 minutes to reach said shop and Jaehyun parks the car before looking at you with concern evident on his face. “Y/n, you are sure about this right?” Smiling fondly at his worry, you keep your hand on his cheek “I’m sure Jae. Don’t worry.” One kiss is enough to relax him and you pull away before you get too carried away and end up dirtying his car again. Oops.

You enter the cosy shop hand-in-hand with Jaehyun and see someone sitting at the reception wearing an oversized blue shirt. Definitely not the vibes you had expected to get from a fucking tattoo parlour but oh well. You had expected everyone to be intimidating and were ready to hide behind Jaehyun as soon as you entered. But it seems as if that wasn’t happening because all you had deciphered from the shop called Inkphoric was that it was built in a way not to scare the people who had gathered the courage to even stop foot in it. 

The receptionist, she said her name was Nara, leads you both to a room in a corridor. Your hands are sweaty and thankfully she allows Jaehyun to go inside as well. When you’re seated on the chair comfortably, Jaehyun grabs a stool to sit beside you and you wait for the tattoo artist. The wait isn’t long because a minute later, a man who looks about your age is walking towards you all. His all black get-up matches the tattoos littering his arms and he also seems to have a piercing in his right ear, a silver dangling. 

“Hello, I’m Lucas. I’ll be tattooing…” he introduces himself and looks between the two of you, silently asking which one of you he would be tattooing. Honestly, you would have expected him to at least  know who he would be drawing on but quickly brush the thought off as you greet him, telling him that you would be the one getting the art onto her skin. He smiles cutely and nods, and you look at Jaehyun, his comforting smile relaxing your tense body. 

Nara talks to Lucas for a minute or so and then walks off, shooting you an encouraging smile before closing the door behind her. 

“So what is it that I’ll be tattooing onto you, ma’am?” Lucas speaks and you show him the image of the flower. Jaehyun is holding your left hand in his, the warmth seeping throughout your entire body and you’re grateful for Jae’s beautiful ability of being able to calm you down in only a matter of seconds- no matter how serious the situation would be. 

“Oh, that’s very pretty.” “Thank you.” you smile at him, and he prepares his stuff. You’re pulling down the hem of your shirt slightly and exposing part of your left collarbone, where you want your collarbone. 

Lucas says that he’s tracing the design out first and you wait patiently. 

“Now, don’t be scared. It’s gonna hurt at first, especially at the bone but it will soon go away. You can hold your boyfriend’s hand.” he instructs and gives you an encouraging look as Jaehyun moves to your  right to give Lucas space, his large hand completely enclosing yours. 

“Okay, here goes…” the sound of the gun whirring to life fills the room that has tattoo designs filling the wall. 

“Fuck!” your voice pierces through the air and you jolt from the sudden pain. It felt as if someone was impaling you with a sword- which was partly true- but they were doing it continuously. Jaehyun is shocked from your sudden movement and struggles to catch you in his arms. Lucas quickly tears the gun away from your neck and you whimper out, the pain searing through your entire being and Jaehyun tries shushing you, his attempts all going in vain. 

Shitshitshit. This is torture. It’s only the first touch of the needle against your skin and you’re already this close to crying. How the fuck do people get those huge ass tattoos?! Trying your best to calm down and ignore the pain spreading throughout your entire being, you squeeze Jaehyun’s hand hard enough for it to pain but you don’t really care at this point, the throbbing of your collarbone enough to send you flying. He’s stood up from the stool by now, standing behind you.

“Okay..sorry sorry, you can continue.” you whisper out and clamp your lips shut so as to not let out any more weird noises. You’re sweating by the time Lucas gets the gun closer to you and bite your tongue hard enough to draw blood when the feeling of the needle pressing against your skin fills you up again.

Holy heck, I can’t do this. 

Your face is an accurate representation of agony, your entire body tensing as Lucas tattoos your collarbone with his long hair slightly brushing against your neck. You try leaning your head back and lean against Jaehyun. He’s whispering soft comforting words as countless profanities leave your mouth and you feel sad for Lucas, having to hear the shit you were spewing. 

“It’s alright, baby. Just think about other things, happy things.” your boyfriend pecks your cheek and hugs you lightly, trying not to disturb Lucas.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale inh-

“I think I just popped a boner.”

You gasp. Lucas chokes. He moves. You shriek.

“Ah, shit!” the gun’s needle scraped against your skin, it was all so sudden. The pain suddenly shoots throughout your entire body, tears filling your eyes. Nononono. 

“Jesus! It’s paining too much!” you’re sobbing by now, Lucas is frantic and Jaehyun..well..he is burning. He’s too busy regretting all his choices to even notice what’s happening around him. Jaehyun bends down to fix his problem and emerges 5 minutes later, when you’re still twisting in torment. Everything is red, your lip being abused by your teeth in order to calm down.

“Y/n! Ma’am! I’m so sorry! Shit, no!” Lucas apologises and sprints over to get a cloth to wipe something you feel trickling down your chest now. Blood. You’re bleeding. 

Writhing in agony in your seat, you clench your hands as if that would somehow reduce the sting, and pant, trying to relax. Your eyes are widened at an attempt of keeping it all in but the throbbing just doesn’t seem to dissipate.

Oh God…

Lucas is now carefully dabbing at the source of blood with panic written clearly all on his face. You look at Jaehyun through the ache to see that he is now coming back to reality and upon seeing your state, a gasp tears his throat and he’s looking at you with his eyes widened. 

The distress prevents you from speaking properly but you manage to call out, “J-Jaehy..Jaehyun.” Said man is desperately looking between your blood gushing out and your face twisted in discomfort. He figures it out and as soon as he does, takes your whimpering form into his, murmuring endless apologies and if you could, you would stop him from saying that but the sting is still there, only lessening a tad bit.

It’s hell, trying to clean the blood away and getting it sorted out. You cried a bit during the process as well but you were perfectly entitled to do that, the gun had pierced your skin quite deep when Lucas had jolted upon hearing what Jae suddenly said. 

30 minutes later, you’re hiccupping slightly and trying to breathe normally after the mad incident. Surprisingly, no one had come in during that time and you were thankful for that, not having wanted anybody to see the mess that had been caused because of Jaehyun’s unexpected confession. Speaking of which, you wince and turn around to look at him and when his eyes meet yours, ask him what he meant “What was that about you popping a boner?” the incredulity just hit you now and you wait for his response impatiently.

“Nothing babe...just forget it. I’m so sorry for saying it so randomly, though. I should’ve thought before speaking. I’m so careless.” the look on his face melts  and you are about to pull him into your chest when you realise that you can’t.

The pain has subsided by now, it’s bearable and you turn to look at Lucas who- when he catches your gaze- immediately walks over to you and starts speaking. “Ma’am, I’m so sorry! That was so sudden and I messed up your tattoo. It’s all my fault, please forgive me if possible.” he looks scared, and you understand why. He probably thinks you’ll sue him or something but you weren’t planning on doing anything of the sort. “It’s alright Lucas. I’m also not gonna tell anyone. We’ll just tell everyone that as soon as the gun touched me, I chickened out and told you to stop.” you keep your hand on his head that’s bowed and he looks up. There are tears brimming his eyes and you don’t know if it’s out of fear or the fact that he genuinely feels terrible for what he did. It really wasn’t his fault anywhere though. You didn’t understand why he was so stressed. 

“I’m sorry Lucas, I just said something stupid without even thinking before. You don’t need to take nay of the blame.” Jaehyun’s voice fills the room and Lucas’ features relax a little before he smiles forcefully. “Well, if your cuts get better, then maybe I can continue the design?” he jokes and you laugh along, knowing all too well that you wouldn’t be coming here again. Your first tattoo and this had happened.

“So do you wanna tell me about that boner-popping now? Lucas isn’t even here.” you’re sitting at the dining table, having just finished your dinner with empty bowls of pasta in front of each of you. Jaehyun shifts slightly in his seat and you wonder if you made him uncomfortable, although you don’t understand why- the reason couldn’t have been that  bad. As soon as you start to backtrack, Jaehyun’s voice is heard.

“Well..just..you know when you were getting the tattoo?” you nod slightly “Lucas was just, his black clothes..and he was bending over and I don’t know. You were whimpering..” “So the scene was too hot and you popped a boner?” you complete his sentence and he meekly nods before you’re howling with laughter, almost falling iff the chair and forgetting about the pain around your collarbone. The bisexual in Jaehyun was showing and he was afraid to admit it, you don’t now why. He had told you about this when you started dating, and you were totally fine with  it, because you knew that he wouldn’t cheat on you. 

“Hey..” your boyfriend half-heartedly attempts to stop you but you’re too far gone to realise that he may be feeling bad. When your laughing fit is over, though, you look at him for any trace of sadness but are relieved to see that he’s only blushing lightly, his dimples showing when he smiles. 

“So, do you wanna get a  tattoo now?” the answer is obvious, given the fact that today did not go as planned. You’re surprised when he answers.

“I don’t think so. My body is a shrine and a tattoo will take away its chastity.”

“Shrine indeed.”

Ty for reading! Yes lmao ik the ending is weird asf, as is the entire story, but nvm

Feedback is always appreciated!

this was supposed to be a drabble for jae’s birthday 😭excuse the typos they’re terrible and i’m literally the most impatient living being you’ll ever encounter

also, the shop name lmao i just got it from google- not creative i know

Tagging: @neoculturedtrash , @jeongjeffrey , @orange-lemon-cross , @nanasimp , @bluejaem​

#jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jeffrey #nct #nct 127 #tattoo #reader #jaehyun x reader #jeong jaehyun #nct ff #nct 127 ff #jaehyun ff #jae ff #jaehyun fluff #jae fluff #y/n #neo culture technology #jaehyun jung #please excuse the shitty header

[katie-writes24]

Fell Into The Same Arms

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x reader

Warnings: Language, implied material, angst, a sliver of fluff, and injured reader.

Part 2

You know what, this is on me, because I was on Pinterest YET AGAIN and came across prompts that made me want to vent!!! So here is this!! Also, I’m really struggling with this one WIP and I jsut wanted to post soemthing, so I don’t even really know if this is “finished” yet. Let me know if you want to be tagged, and give me some feedback. I apologize in advance if I hurt your heart! But...it’ll be worth it I swear!

Rain was in the forecast the entire weekend, and it didn't seem to stop anytime soon on Monday. It took a toll on traffic, that was for sure; the roads were starting to flood and the bus routes were changed unexpectedly. The streets were in no shape for anyone to be out.

But Y/N didn't pay no matter to that. Instead, she kept walking, despite the throbbing in her thigh and the blisters on the back of her heels. She ignored the piercing feeling in her back when she tensed. That pain in the back of her head: didn't bother her. Not now, not when she's in the wet streets alone at night, having someplace to be.

Another lie. It was someplace she needed to be, and maybe she wasn't welcomed, but she had no other option. Every other door that used to be open was now closed after comments like you're better than this and don't come crying to me when I'll only say I told you so were thrown at her.

Y/N should be getting her keys out to unlock her apartment door, heading to the shower and ignoring the worried cries from Hercules. She could even be knocking on the screen door and letting Eliza draw her a bath while they sipped on hot tea. Hell, she was even considering jumping the gate and climbing up to John's window and letting him hold her as she cried herself to sleep.

What was she doing instead? Knocking on the hardwood door in front of her, not knowing what the outcome ahead would be.

Seconds felt like hours before the door was opened quickly, only going so far as the small chain up top would let it. She was met with brown orbs, in a flash they were wide in shock.

She couldn't blame him.

She could only imagine what she looked like, it obviously wasn't a pretty sight if the feeling in her bones had any say in it. But something told her that her appearance was not why he had the reaction.

At this point Y/N believed that he was, in fact, in shock because it's still pouring rain and she can feel her limbs start to grow numb from the cold. He's still staring at her with that look...

"I didn't know where else to go," Her voice sounded raspy even to her, and she guessed it was loud enough for him to hear, considering he shut the door before the sound of a latch being pulled again was heard, and he fully opened the door.

He looked good; dressed in his pajamas, but still good, considering the last time she saw him. He looked fresh out the shower, and she took that as a sign that he didn't have company over.

Thomas hated leaving people waiting. Something they didn't share in common, apparently.

He stepped aside and Y/N didn't waste a second before stepping into the warm house.

"Just- wait a second," Thomas walked down the hallway, soon returning with a towel that he laid across the floor. "Don't want to ruin my floors."

She snorted. Still the same stuck up she remembers. "Could you spare one for me, you think?"

"I was actually going to offer you a shower, and maybe help you patch things up. Looks like you need it," He gestured to her head, which had a small gash, or at least that's what it felt like.

"That'd be nice," She cleared her throat once more, removing her shoes. She stopped after stripping of her jacket, standing awkwardly and hoping to give the man a hint.

Instead, he scoffed and went down the hall again. "It's not like I haven't seen it all before. Just leave your clothes on the towel, I'll throw them in the dryer."

Y/N rolled her eyes, but did as he said. She quickly walked to the bathroom and stepped into the tub. It all looked the same, including the bottle of shampoo he bought her months ago, still in the same spot.

She cleared her throat, mentally shaking herself clear of those warming thoughts.

A few minutes after she turned on the water, she heard a knock on the door, his silhouette behind the curtain.

"I brought a towel, and some fresh clothes," There was some shuffling before he sighed loudly. "Did you eat? Can I get you something?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks," Y/N cut him short, trying to ignore his caring need that he normally hid from the public. She wasn't any different, not anymore.

"Well, knowing you, you probably had a large coffee this morning and called it a day. And I'm not quite sure what you got yourself into yet, but I'm sure it didn't happen over a meal." Thomas sounded so sure of himself, and damn him for knowing her so well. Her silence gave it away, and he soon clicked his tongue in assurance. "I'll make you something quick."

There was no resisting the water in her eyes. Pain expanded all over her body, she had an excuse. Plus, he couldn't see her get emotional behind the curtain, and there would be no tear tracks on her cheeks later.

It might seem odd to others, to those who see Thomas as a public figure, a politician. He carries power, and never lets anyone outside these doors see his vulnerability. To them, he is a man with high standards and a precise wardrobe.

But she knew the real Thomas.

He was sensitive, caring for others, acting like he was just now. The newspaper titles were full of shit, they didn't have any right to criticize him because that wasn't the real him.

Of course he was passionate about his job and position, but they didn't know what Thomas acted like in the morning. They didn't know what Thomas's favorite meal to have when he's had a long day was. About his constant need to have a book to read before he goes to sleep, no matter what time it is. About what he looked like when he was in complete bliss, when he was really happy....

No, Y/N knew though.

She reached for the shower handle, turning the knob on the cold setting. She finished up washing her hair as quick as she could, then carefully dabbed her body with a washcloth, avoiding direct open wounds.

Stepping out of the bathroom, wrapped in a rather large t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, Y/N found Thomas at the table. He was standing over scattered papers, rubbing his chin softly as he thinks to himself.

While he's distracted, she takes in the house, knowing she really shouldn't, it will only hurt her or, worse, make former feelings reappear. But she can't help but look over to the wall beside him, where dozens of picture frames line up in a pattern. Some are of his parents, some of Thomas and James, there's even a group photo of his colleagues standing before Washington. She remembers how excited Thomas was that day, to finally be getting the recognition he deserves.

She also remembers that there used to be a frame below it, one that held two photos of Y/N and Thomas, holding hands, smiling. She remembers that the photographer wanted their hands close to the lens, getting a good capture of piece of jewelry that looked so simple, but held so much promise.

Was suppose to hold so much promise.

Should she really be sad that he took it down? Y/N didn't deserve to feel angry or disappointed that it wasn't hanging on the wall, to be a constant reminder to anyone that walked by of what used to be.

"Food should be ready soon. I just put it in the oven to warm up." She jumped as she was released from her thoughts, Thomas now looking over at her.

"Thanks," He soon walked over to her, only feet away when he lifted up his hand. She instantly flinched, swallowing hard as she realized what she did.

Thomas slowly put his hand down, looking at her with wide eyes. "I wasn't going to-"

"I know," Her voice was shaky, but she held a hard expression, looking at the floor.

Nodding, Thomas cleared his throat before heading to the bathroom, moments later coming out with a tube of ointment. "Let's get you cleaned up?"

Maybe it was fate, or maybe it was just Y/N's luck. Whatever it may be, she would never stop thanking whoever was watching over her that she got to feel Thomas's soft touch once again.

Yes, maybe she'd like it better if it was under different circumstances, but she was appreciative of the light touch he had against her head, one hand holding it still while the other gently dabbed the cream against her bruises.

The quiet was disturbed when he winced at the scrape right above her hip. There was no hiding it; it was already layered in dried blood, purple outlining the crevice of the soon-to-be scar. Thomas shook his head slightly, and she didn't know if it was from shock or disappointment.

Once he cleared the wound completely, Thomas pressed his thumb against her hip bone, rubbing her skin in soothing motions. Y/N smiled sadly.

"Can you stop, for one goddamn second, and just talk about this?"

"I can't, Thomas! You don't understand why, but I just can't-"

"Do you know why I stick around? Do you care about what I have to say? Don't you know that I love you? I would do anything for you, Y/N, why can't you trust me on that?"

"I do! I trust you with my life, Thomas! That's the problem!" The room grew silent, Thomas forming a sudden frown, eyes teary.

Her own were wet, as well. Vulnerability was not her thing, so Y/N quickly turned around, not bearing to see his reaction.

Lost in her own self deprecating thoughts, she felt a hand on her hip. His long fingers began stroking her bone, her skin lighting on fire every under the fabric of her underwear. Somehow, the simple touch completely broke her, letting out a shaky sob. Thomas wrapped his free arm around her chest, grounding her. Y/N allowed her own arms to grab at his as she shook.

“We’ll get through it,” Thomas whispered, his own voice a bit shaky. “Together.”

There used to be moments where Y/N would allow herself to completely fall into him, would just let go of all the pent up frustration and troubles she had. Because she knew Thomas would catch her, she knew that he would let her release all of her worries for him to fix, and if not fix, just to listen. He would offer comforting phrases that would make her feel like the only woman in the world. He would physically comfort her, whether it was a bath or his touch or his body, he would take away her stress.

And no matter how many times Y/N would experience such ache, Thomas never turned away. Not once. Not even after all this time separated. And she knew damn well that if she did the same thing now, he would let her.

That’s what scared her.

She couldn’t do that to Thomas, not again.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Apparently, him knowing exactly what she’s thinking didn’t change either. His soft voice rang loudly in her ears, traveling all throughout her body. Y/N had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from breaking down.

“You can let go...” It sounded like a promise.

Maybe she could count on him to catch her again, even if it’s just this one last time.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!!!

@notebookgirl30 @dontblinkumightmiss @tinywhim @checkurwindow @einfachniemand @daveeddiggsit @ohsoverykeri-blog @astralaffairs @i-know-i-can

#thomas jefferson x reader #thomas jefferson imagine #thomas jefferson x oc #hamilton imagine #hamilton fanfiction #hamilton fanfic #my writings #thomas jefferson #wow anyways #didn’t mean to make it so sad?

[natsukitakama]

Domestic headcanon with ManBun Eren (College AU)

Author note : That’s a very cute request especially with man bun Eren, at time like this we definitely need some fluff about him. I really enjoy writing in college AU I might write something about it too ♡ I hope I did justice to your request. If you want to be tag for any Snk’s content please let me know. 

Warning : Fluff / Slight NSFW (mention of people getting horny but nothing dirty) / Mention of alcohol (be careful) 

i do not own that glorious picture credit(s) to the owner(s) 

Masterlist 

After couple of month, Eren knew he wanted to live with you. So after some jobs and lot of research. You finally found what you were looking for. 

It was a cute flat not that long from your College but far enough. You guys have such a gorgeous place, see the cute flat picture on Pinterest ? You definitely take your inspiration on it. 

Eren isn’t into decorating but still has good taste, plus you seemed so exciting about it he couldn’t not follow you. He was like a lost puppy and all he did was following you into the whole shop not knowing what do do. At the end he helped you finding the right color for each room and decided what would be good for your living room (he wanted a corner sofa and won’t leave until he find it) 

After two months of work, you guys have your own house. You never be so excited before

You wanted to have a bath tube and he wanted an Italian shower (it was a way more convenient for him), but you quickly change your mind when he told you how you could shower together. 

Qu you guys have your « couple routine » quite quickly for example you always have to wake Eren up otherwise he’ll miss his class. Since you weren’t studying the same thing, you managed to always call five times Eren when you weren’t around so he will know he has to wake up. Basically when it came to wake someone up, you have to do this because he could be a bit lazy : he used to love to sleep and now that you shared your bed, having you as his side while cuddling, why should he wake up ? 

As a make up, he’ll always do the breakfast especially when you were on day-off (meaning you don’t have class or it was cancelled) and when he can’t thank you by making you break fast he will cook for the night so you don’t have to bother about it

He is pretty chill man to live with, the man is everything but not messy. He can’t work properly if his place is a mess. He doesn’t bother do some cleaning too, so when you are in class and he doesn’t if he noticed the place need to be clean he’ll do it. 

He is pretty good at cleaning the window so he’ll do it 

He can do everything dished, housework but not Laundry 

One day he tried to wash couple of his t-shirt and … well let’s say he has to buy some t-shirt cause he doesn’t have anymore. So in order to keep your clothe as long as possible you have to do the laundry. 

When it came to cook, you decided to make a schedule since you didn’t work the same day or the same hours : you established a shift who seemed to work. Both of you aren’t a great cooker but neither of you complained. 

You did a lot of things together especially during weekend, Netflix and chill are a must. One day Eren propose to shower together so you won’t waste too much water, but you know better, it was just a way for him to grab you, caress you easily. 

You tried to work-out together but it never works. Not that you didn’t want to work out but you just couldn’t stop staring at your boyfriend’s glorious body : everytime you saw him wearing nothing but a pant to work-out you just couldn’t stop staring at his abs, back and his incredible arms so yeah it’s always ending the same way : by you taking him into your bedroom. So for the sake of everyone especially your libido you work-out at different places.

Speaking of your Sex-life, if you thought your boyfriend has huge sex-drive when you were dating, it became worse now that you sharing a house. In fact, Eren couldn’t stop himself for lusting about you sharing a flat meaning he could see you more often especially after having a shower wearing nothing but a towel or when you were wearing that gorgeous pajamas. Can’t explain it you just have a huge effect on him. 

Remember when I said he doesn’t laundry ? Well he can’t fold his clothes either. He has no excuse cause Carla and you tried to teach him how to fold a piece of clothe properly but everythime he does it you found a ball of clothe in your closet. So after lecturing him about it you just not allowed him to fold anything or even touching the washing machine. 

Like i said before, he is pretty simple man but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t got demand : In fact there one thing you’ll have to submit, Pizza on Saturday. You don’t even know how it started but Eren get the habits of eating pizza on every Saturday since he was in college. When you used to date you couldn’t skip pizza’s day don’t expect to skip it now that you share a house. 

As mentioned from the beginning, Eren is not quite found of decoration his student room used to be pretty simple, he is not materialist yet he might appreciate having great poster or some goodies from a fandom he loves but that’s it. He let you decorate the whole house and only give his opinion when you ask for (he is the one who suggest to put a stone wall for the kitchen). Despite his lack of interest on design he has pretty good taste 

Speaking of your house, you don’t know if it’s a « couple thing » or just you being weird but you bought too many fluffy plaid. You could easily cover your two family and your friend you will still have enough plaid for you two. 

Since you are a thing you get used to study together and you keep this going, strangely none of you get horny when you study 

When it comes to friends that’s another story, you guys have your own friends and some friends you both share like Armin, Mikasa, Sasha. You usually tends to make party with them and everything is fine. It doesn’t matter if you are in your friends’ home or in yours none of you drink, you will share a beer if everyone have one tough. 

But about your personal friends that another story, of course not all of them were found of your relationship : Some will say you or Eren weren’t with them like you used to be, other will find everything to complain about your relationship or will just don’t love you. If you can have a talk with some of them, you can’t force your friends to love you or Eren. You’ll have to some compromise. However Eren will never do a party with them without you, he loves you and feels that everyone should accept that so he doesn’t see the point on doing party if you are not around (plus he is not a big fan of party so it gave him excuse). 

It doesn’t mean he won’t go out with them, like to chill or do some walking but they never have the chance to visit your home. Eren is afraid you might be uncomfortable seing them at your house, he couldn’t tolerate that so if has to see his friends he’ll do outside. Same for you, sometimes you took advantage of Eren is in school so you could enjoy your day with your friends cause you don’t want him to lose his chill or be uncomfortable. 

Even if you have a bed, both of you already fell asleep on your couch and when you woke up, Eren will smirk telling you this is why he wanted a corner sofa in the first place.  

Now let’s talk about financial, who paid what ? Is someone who paid everything ? 

It took you couple of months before decided to share a flat together, not that you weren’t in love with each other but because you knew it’s going to cost hella cash (more than a student room). So you guy work a lot, to make moneys so you could share the charges together. 

Of course none of you would mind pay all the charges for a month or two but you wanted each other to be responsible, free and independent from each other. It’s something really important especially for Eren : he is not confortable with the idea of having someone depend on him (except for children or dogs but that’s another subject).

You made a lot of economics so you could study your last year without thinking about how to pay the bills and then you two will find a job so money won’t be a problem. 

Basically your life together didn’t change much since you get the habit of sneaking in each other room to share. If you thought you were close to Eren you realized how wrong you were cause since you two got your own flat you were never that close to him. It’s like falling in love again. 

#eren jaeger #eren yaegar #Eren Jaeger x reader #Eren Yaeger x reader #Eren Jaeger headcanon #Eren Yaeger headcanon #Shingeki no kyojin #Shingeki no kyojin headcanon #Shingeki no kyojin x reader #Attack on titan #Attack on titan x reader #Attack on titan fandom #attack on titan headcanon #Snk x reader #Headcanon #Reader insert #AU #College AU #aot #snk

[furyfought]

abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway .  they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.

loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.

+ pinterest, stats.

hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎

"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."

agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?

when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but. 

agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.

agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.

agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro. 

but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff. 

i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.

anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch. 

"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋."  + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !

i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3

if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3

conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.

fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts. 

someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3

omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?

an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?

agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.

agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3

if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.

omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked.. 

on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3

budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨. 

i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..

college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.

tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.

agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster. 

speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.

#abernathyintro #omg arriving unfashionably late thirty yrs later. >.> #[vine vc] heeey.. . .. #nt rereading this. simply not strong enough. if there r errors then no there aren't<3

[courtingstars]

Notes for The Vanishing Prince: Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight has been posted! I don’t have nearly as many notes this time. (Which is good, because it took me a lot less time to draft this post. XD;) Still, I did want to bring up a couple of things that I thought might be worth mentioning.

And as always, I updated the inspiration board for this fic over on Pinterest, so feel free to check out the new images if you feel like it/have access to Pinterest. (The most recently added images are at the top, so when you scroll down, you’re basically going backwards through the story.) And with that, onto the notes...

(Cut for the ramblings of a writer who overthinks everything, and also some very important notes about omurice, because I LOVED writing that part…)

Akashi and His Mom, Plus Heian Poetry

This is basically just a note to say that I really loved being able to write the scene with Akashi and his mom. <3 I think it’s the first scene of them together that I’ve posted online…? (Though I’ve written lots of scenes where Akashi talks about his mother, or has a very brief memory of her.) I wrote something short about them for Mother’s Day years ago, but I never finished it, sadly. So it felt nice to finally be able to include a glimpse of how I see their interactions.

Also, the part about Japanese poetry is indeed a thing! A lot of the Heian-era poetry in Japan revolves around themes of courtly love, and because of how courting worked in that time period, they often feature various forms of pining-for-your-lover-from-a-distance. So like Akashi says, there was a folk belief that if you were missing your lover enough, you would appear in each other’s dreams, so that you could at least be together in the dream world. Like this site about the poet Ono-no-Komachi explains, “the intensity of one's feelings for one's lover could induce him to appear in one's dream or could cause one to appear in his dreams.” I always thought that was a fascinating concept. (Also the idea that Akashi would be studying those poems at six years old is just really funny to me? But anyway. //laughs)

Akashi’s Issues, Poor Guy

I don’t want to go into too much detail here, but I thought it might be worth mentioning… One of the things I really wanted to explore in this fic (and the series as a whole) is the reality that working on mental health problems can be a very difficult and often nonlinear process. While it’s not the only plot line of the story—and I definitely don’t claim to have done a great job with it by any means, though I try my best!—I felt like it was important to take the time to show how a person’s struggles with mental illness don’t just get solved overnight. Akashi has been fighting a lot of the same problems throughout the series, because these kinds of emotional hang-ups and coping mechanisms aren’t easy to change.

To be honest, it felt somewhat counterintuitive to me as a writer, because back when I was trying to publish original stories, there was this idea that you weren’t supposed to write characters “brooding” for too long or repeat the same issues/mistakes over and over. Basically, the characters needed to show growth quickly, and passages that could be seen as repetitive should probably be cut, because they weren’t “progressing the story.” While I can understand that idea in a writing sense, I tend to feel like it’s not a very fair representation of what it’s like to struggle with mental health. (Which also applies to a lot of other kinds of personal issues/growth as well, honestly. Change is just hard in general.)

So I’m definitely trying to walk a balance between not writing the same scenes over and over, while also showing Akashi’s struggles as an ongoing journey for him. The latter was really important to me, both as a writer, and as someone who’s had cycles and setbacks with my own mental health stuff.

Bokushi Is Still Kind of an Asshole, Lol

On kind of a similar note… I have no idea how Bokushi comes across as a character at this point in the story? //laughs But if anyone finds him to be kind of a jerk, I will say that’s an intentional choice, at least. Ideally, I wanted him to be likable but still flawed, and I do find him hilarious personally, but… Hopefully it’s obvious that I don’t think he’s a perfect person, by any means. XD;

I think I’ve said before that I really want to use this storyline as a chance to explore my view of his character—and the why/how of how his personality differs from Oreshi—in as much detail as possible. Hopefully it ends up coming across as nuanced in the long run… But if nothing else, I hope it’s at least fairly interesting to read! Because I do find him extremely interesting as a character.

Omurice!

So here’s my major cultural note for the chapter… I’m guessing a lot of people are already aware of the fact that Furihata’s favorite food in canon is omurice, since it tends to pop up in AkaFuri fics a lot. For anyone who’s not familiar with the dish, omurice (a borrowed compound word for “rice omelet”) is a Western-inspired Japanese dish that’s extremely popular as a comfort food. (This type of Western-inspired cuisine is generally called yoshoku. Which I think I also mentioned in Storming the Castle, but… it’s been awhile? //laughs)

So basically, omurice consists of pan-fried rice that’s usually seasoned with either ketchup (often considered the more homey/classic version) or demi-glace sauce (more often seen in restaurants). Like in a lot of fried rice recipes, vegetables and meat are added to the rice, and then the whole thing is served beneath a super-fluffy egg omelet. It typically looks like this, or this. I’ve made it before, and enjoyed it way more than I expected. So while I was writing this chapter, I couldn’t resist preparing one of my own (for research purposes of course, lol):

I’m not a good cook, to put it mildly, but I was proud that this one came out a little better than the last time I tried it. XD

To me, the coolest thing about watching someone prepare omurice is the part where they plate the omelet... This can be done a few different ways, and some take more skill than others. (I totally cheat, by making a single-layer omelet and just setting it on top of the rice as best I can. XD) The most difficult way (and the way Furihata does it in the fic!) is to layer the omelet on top of itself while you’re cooking it, so that it becomes a kind of pouch that you can slice open over the rice. There’s a great animation of this process over on my Pinterest board, and I also really recommend two videos on Youtube if you’d like to see more… This clip features an amazing chef from the most famous omurice restaurant in Kyoto, and this one is an iconic scene from Tampopo, a classic Japanese film. To learn more about the context of those clips, and about omurice in general, I also recommend this really fun article about it.

The thing I find the most interesting about omurice is that it’s such a popular comfort food, so it’s often associated with home and family life. That’s why in The Fast Train to Kyoto, I was inspired to have Furihata’s mom make him omurice when he’s having a bad day. At the same time, though, the dish can also have a bit of a “lovey dovey” connotation to it? Like how in this survey it was one of the top foods that Japanese guys said they would like their girlfriends to make for them. (Hence the trope of decorating the omelet with a ketchup heart, as Bokushi mentions, in his extremely Bokushi way. //laughs)

For all these reasons, I tend to think of omurice as the perfect favorite food for a character like Furihata. It definitely inspired how I write about him, especially when it comes to things like his family life as well as his romantic side. <3

So How About All Those Storming the Castle References Huh

This is just a quick note to say that if anyone happened to be confused by some of the references in this chapter, a lot of them were referring back to events from Part Two of Storming the Castle. (Like the first time Furihata saw Akashi’s dad, the huge portrait of Akashi and his parents in the ballroom, the butsudan altar, the secret passage with the stairs, the ghost, etc, etc… Also the character of Ginhara, since he’s the butler who runs the mansion in Tokyo.)

I tend to be pretty indecisive about exactly how much detail I should use to explain something that happened earlier in the series… Since I know some people might not have read the earlier fics, and at the same time, I don’t want to be too repetitive for those who have? In any case, if anything was confusing/unclear, it was probably a callback to that story. (Oh, and there was also a callback to The Fast Train to Kyoto, about when Akashi and Furihata talked about becoming friends!)

Well, that’s it from me this time around. Thank you so much for reading, as always. As I mentioned in more detail over on Ao3, I really hope everyone is staying safe where possible, and supporting each other in this difficult time. I will do my best to get the next chapter posted very soon. <3

#the vanishing prince #kat writes fanfic #long post #text post #akafuri #I'm so glad I was finally able to share all those omurice notes lol #and also share the omurice cooking scene!! #I never thought that Furi would end up preparing a rice omelet for Bokushi haha #and I was just really amused by his utter disdain for the ketchup lol #definitely inspired by all my friends who were like why would you fry rice with ketchup and I'm like IT'S BETTER THAN YOU'D THINK IT'D BE #anyway #this was also a tough chapter to edit because it was SO LONG #and I felt bad for Oreshi #and these boys have complicated feelings #but I hope it was enjoyable to read because I did have fun writing it <3 #kat writes about basketball dorks

[melyaliz]

Remember me pt . 8

Master List

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Summary: Bakugou has to remind his wife why she married him after she loses all her memories of them ever meeting. 

Pairing: Bakugou x OC 

Notes: I was thinking of maybe doing some My Hero Academia requests? Idk life seems to be slowing down a little. 

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​

Connect with me! AO3 / Website / Pinterest / Newsletter 

DONATE or REQUEST

-0-0-0-0-0--Bakugou--0-0-0-0-0-

“So what’s up with you and metalhead?” Kirishima asked as the heroes slowly rode the bus they had been given back to the large glass building. Bakugou, who had been peacefully resting, peeked an eye open glaring at the redhead who was smiling at him.

“Who?” The blonde knew who he was talking about. But he wasn't about to let Kirishima know he knew.

“The girl with the Gojra shirt.”

“Nothing.” eyes closed, head resting back angst the headrest as if that was the end of the conversation. However, with Kirishima it never was.

“You guys talked, did you get her number?”

That comment didn’t even deserve a response. Or the weird way his stomach clenched when it was asked.“No, why would I?”

“Because you like her” Kirishima poked him in the side or tried too but Bakugou swatted it away never opening his eyes.

“I don…”

“Tell me you at least you got her number.”

“Why do you care?” that one had a bit of a bite to it. A warning to back off.

“You didn’t! Bro…” disappointment lanced in the red head’s voice. As if Bakugou had just told him he was giving up on becoming number one or something. It was just some girl’s number.

“We are only here for a few more weeks--” Bakugou started to reason but was once again cut off.

“Oh look there she is, you can ask her out now.”

Bakuoug’s eyes opened looking out the window to see her talking to a few of her coworkers. Well, he assumed they were coworkers since she regularly talked to them. One of them, a guy, leaned forward annoying close to her to tell her something that made her laugh.

Something inside him made him hot. That same feeling he would get in high school when Deku would steal the spotlight. Would do something that would make everyone think he was better than he was. He wasn’t better. And neither was this guy.

As the bus stopped letting everyone out he walked out and stepped up to the group.

“Hey Olive”

She turned her face breaking into a smile as she saw him. “Hello, Bakugou. Beautiful weather isn’t it?” He knew her overly formal way of speaking was her lack of knowledge in the Japanese language but it still bothering him a little. She was obviously not a very formal person with her coworkers.

“I’m back for the weekend, I’m taking you to dinner.” Right to the point. He had never been one for small talk.  

“I’m free Saturday,”  she didn’t even bother asking where or when

“6 here,” he nodded. With the plans made he walked off not bothering -daring- to look back. However, he was able to catch that annoying guy ask about the interaction.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing important”

“It looked important,” one of the girls said her voice hitching in that weird squeak sound that girl would get when they were telling each other secrets.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Bakugo was dealing with two issues that were making his life a living hell.

Ok maybe that was a little dramatic but… making his life hard

One was sleeping next to Olive.

Sleeping next to someone you are physically attracted to and have had an intimate relationship with before is normally fine but as the days wear on, your body starts to crave them. It’s as if no matter how much you remind your bain it's your body that you have to fight. It knows that the warm body next to it makes it feel so good. It wants those feelings again.

And it had been a while.

in fact, besides that odd mission that took longer than it should plus healing after this might be the longest they had ever gone without having sex.  

His body burned next to hers and the fact that he couldn't touch her was slowly starting to eat him alive. He kept telling himself he was stronger than this. That he could keep his sexual urges at bay but in the dark of the night where all he could do was feel the warmth of her body surrounded by her scent, it was madding.

One night she had moaned in her sleep and reached out her fingers brushing his torso. So touched starved and horney he was wide awake in seconds and so hard it was almost painful.

He was getting in a lot more late-night workouts.

Which just lead to him being more tired and grumpy. Everything seemed to irritate him now.

Which led to his second problem

Trying to get everyone to show up at the same place at the same time.

Trying to organize his old classmates was like herding cats. Not only did the conversation derail at every glimmer of an opportunity but their lives were so busy just getting that many heroes to have a few hours off was near impossible.  

It could also be partly (mostly) his fault. If he was being REALLY honest with himself. (Self refection seemed to be an ongoing theme since this whole fucking issue had happened.) Bakugou may not have really wanted them to be there. He hated the idea of everyone knowing what was going on in their marriage. Their problem was unique and kind of intimate and he hated the idea that somehow he may have failed Olive.

So he was dragging his feet.

That was until she came back from therapy with puffy red eyes unable to look at him. The moment she walked into the apartment he was instatly clued in knowing something was wrong because she didn’t even greet Dolemite who came crying up to her in excitement at her being home. He could hear her mumbling something and then a soft wet laugh.

Shit.

He was looking over the reports on her case again. Pouring over each detail as if something would pop out at him. There was still nothing -besides the American angle- that seemed to link the two of them. But he couldn’t give up, if he focused harder, kept looking something would popup.

Or that was what he was telling himself until something else demanded his attention. Something much worse walked into the living room. Olive, looking completely defeated.

“Oh shit” she mumbled, catching his gaze a look of surprise on her face, “ you're not at work?”

“No, I only went in for a few hours.” he decided now was not the time to work on her Japanese. The way she looked. It made him sick. He wanted to go right over to that therapist and pound him (or her) into the ground. How dare they make Olive cry like that.

Looking away she coughed, “I’m going to wash up” she mumbled wiping the back of her hand across her face.

“Ok” he watched her go as the door closed behind her he heard her let out a choked sob. It shot through him like a bullet. Worse than any punch he had ever taken. Worse than anything he had ever felt.

He had thought it was getting better.

Apparently not.

He knew he should just leave it. Just let her work out whatever leftover emotions she was dealing with from Therapy. She obviously wanted her privacy closing the door and not making eye contact with him. But he couldn’t help it. Getting up he walked up to the door leaning against it leaning against the door. His back to it trying to see if he could hear anything.

It was muffled but her voice was loud enough fro him to catch a few phrases.  

“I can’t do this Lilly” her voice was soft. “I just want to be happy. I just want to stop missing him.”

“Do you think you were the all sunshine and roses the first time around?” Lilly was obviously on speaker muffled by the door. “You need to stop putting those impossible standards on yourself”

“But I’m not just hurting, I’m hurting him too.”

Him, she meant Bakugou. He frowned, his heart pounding. She was crying because she was hurting him. As if he needed to be protected. It was almost laughable

“He’ll get over it” was Lilly’s soft voice. “He’s a big boy”

Olive let out another sob saying something about unfair and something else he couldn’t make out. Bakugou’s fists clenched angrily, feeling them grow hot small pops erupting in his hands. He didn’t care if it was planned or not, he was going to find that memory querk guy and beat him to a bloody pulp for making Olive feel like this.

His phone vibrated and he looked down to See Kirishima saying he just got off.

Letting out a low growl he shot off a text to the group,

Whoever can make it show up the rest of you losers can just die.

Olive came out 10 mins later. She had washed her face and she looked much cleaner and less, distressed. Finding Bakugou on the couch she smiled waving at him.

“So I was thinking maybe we go out for dinner? Do something fun?” she looked as if she hadn’t just been having a mental breakdown in the bedroom. All smiles and sunshine. That was his girl. A fighter, never settling for anything less than the best. Nothing could keep her down for long.

“Well good because we are meeting some people for dinner and drinks.”

This time her smile reached her face as she lit up. “Really who!?! Is it Kirishima?” she quickly switched to the Japanese trying to get in as much practice as she could.

“ Among a few others yes,”

Letting out a squeal she turned, “What would I wear? Is it a nice dinner?”

“Cute, not fancy.” walking past her he lead her back into thei bedroom. Her bouncing behind him like a puppy into their shared closet all smiles and giggles. Grabbing a black dress that he loved her in he handed it to along with a red leather jacket.

“Thank you Katsuki,” she said looking at the clothes. Nodding he turned to grab his own outfit. He could hear her rushing toward the bathroom to change and probably put some makeup on.

“You have 30 minutes to get ready” he called after her as the phone in his pocket blew up with texts on who was coming and when they would be showing up.

Let’s just get this over with. He thought as he quickly changed going out to the bedroom he jumped onto the bed looking over the texts waiting for Olive to finish up. 45 minutes later Olive appeared. He was about to give her shit for taking so long but when he saw her standing there he just about had a heart attack.

Dressed in that cute little black dress he had forgotten how good it looked on her. Hugging each curve giving just enough cleavage to show off but not enough to be scandalous. The little heeled booties make her legs look amazing.

Oh god.

Her makeup was done all smokey and her hair had a bit of a messy curl in it giving her a bit of a rocker vibe. It took all his will power to not pull her onto the bed and just take her right there.

He wanted to so badly

“Too much? ” she asked fidgetting with the hem of her leather jacket. One he had gotten for her a few months ago after watching her admire it in a shop window.

“ No, ” he said, getting up, “ let’s go. ”

“I’m kind of nervous” she mumbled following him out. Her English words clean and clear giving off her true emotions.

“ You said you wanted this, ” he said looking at her continuing in Japanese so that she could get as much practice in. Their friends English ranged from ok to nonexistent so she needed to be ready, “ And it’s not like they don’t know you.”  

“I just… yeah” she muttered her gaze looking away from him. He instantly regretted teasing her.

“ These are kids from UA, all proheros now. And they like you. ” he paused fighting back a smile at the memories of her meeting them all for the first time, “ Probably more than me. ”

“I doubt that ” was her response as she bit her upper lip.

“ Stop that, ” he said, shoving her slightly with his shoulder. She turned confused. “ Worrying ,” he pointed to his lip to indicate he saw what she was doing.

“ Ok .” she nodded as they walked, their hands kept brushing finally she just reached out grabbing his. He looked down at her fingers wove into this and he felt painfully aware of how it made him feel. How he wanted to just pull her closer to him. Take her away to somewhere quiet, alone. Make her remember him. Remind her body at least of how it loved him. But he didn’t just walking with her. Feeling like they were marching toward their death sentience.

His friends better behave.

To say Bakugou had two problems was putting it lightly

-GET TAGGED- 

Master List Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm

#katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x oc #bakugou katsuki x reader #Katsuki bakugou x oc #bakugou x oc #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo fic #bakugou katsuki fic #my writting #bakugou fluff #bakugou katsuki fluff #katsuki bakugou fluff

[oofluc]

⌠ AXEL AURIANT, 20, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, LUC MONTAGNIER! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT + KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( dried blood on busted knuckles, forced smiles and sweat drenched after training ). when it’s the (virgo)’s birthday on 09/17/1999, they always request their SEARED SCALLOPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ ooc mochi, 23, she/her, gmt ⍀  

slight warning to those who saw i originally planned him to be an anxious soft boi … i was wrong also there is a suicide mention & some subtle child abuse maybe... plus it’s kind of long ? and an incoherent mess but whatever !! plotting is welcome either on tumblr or on discord which you can find me at mochi#7066 !! his pinterest is here yes i went overboard with sections esp bc im gonna add more hdjf !! stats here and a full connection page here with most stuff i have so far ! @gallagherintro​

PARALLELS

fred jones | scooby doo

stefan salvatore | the vampire diaries

hatsuharu sohma | fruits basket

noatak | avatar: the legend of korra

FAMILY

phillipe montagnier | 54

ameline montagnier | 46

marc montagnier | ✝

luc montagnier | 20

charles montagnier | 18

elias montagnier | 18

HISTORY

the montagnier family was originally located in the south of france until luc’s grandfather moved them to quebec. their empire was in manufacturing all kinds of weaponry and selling them to governments and other spy families and organisations. if you needed something a bit obscure or unique, this was the family you'd come to.

luc grew up in a fairly isolated countryside area in a family of four brothers who he loved for the first few years of his life. first was marc, shy and respectful, luc himself two years behind, and then another two years graced the family with twins; charles and elias who lived by their own rules. marc and luc had always been close, marc was the best big brother possible and luc loved him a lot.

eventually after being pitted and forced to compete against each other for so long, it got quite personal and their bonds started being tested. their mother turned a blind eye to their father's borderline abusive methods when luc overtook his older brother in their father’s tests and training. bruises and broken bones were only natural in training so there wasn't much she could say even if she wanted to.

from as long as he could remember, he'd been firing guns. there was a shooting range on their estate and they went on hunting trips, too. his dad often had him show customers the potential of their weaponry and so he'd always been thrusted into that life whether he wanted a say or not. it’s been clear since he was around fourteen that if anyone was taking over the family business it'd be him, not his older brother, marc.

this definitely caused somewhat of a rift between him and marc, as he'd end up getting much harsher punishments when luc would disarm or ground him.

luckily for luc, he did enjoy fighting and was exceptionally gifted in the life planned out for him. he was always the most determined to gain their father's approval, which definitely showed in their results and how obedient he was in front of the man. when he finally got what he wanted, he didn't quite expect it to mean what it did. it was rare but every now and then he would kill for his dad. whether it was someone who betrayed the family or a potential threat to their business, if his dad told him to, he would, no questions asked. it was during this time he was more excluded from training with his brothers since he would be with his dad instead.

SUICIDE TW !!!!!!

his oldest brother marc was sent to blackthorne once he was eighteen and ended up committing suicide at the end of his second year, with luc set to follow the next year. this news was shocking for the montagnier family as luc's father was bitterly embarrassed and disappointed by his firstborns' death, wanting to cover it up as a murder so it couldn't be tied to the family name with such dishonour. it quickly created a divide as charles and elias defended marc's actions and revealed he'd been struggling with depression for the majority of his life, much like they did, which was all unknown to luc, who, for the first time, felt the repercussions of his father's favouritism. he had a new found rebellion against him that was violent with them going at each other's throats for the foreseeable future. luc ended up avoiding his place at blackthorne in hopes to piss off his dad and becoming more reclusive and bitter as time went on.

he really took his brother's death personally, believing he was a factor in it and wishing he'd been there for him more closely. if anyone so much as mentions marc to him he will be on guard and very easily angered. i think before marc died he was very charismatic, egotistical at times and driven whereas now he’s lost a lot of his energy and is more negative & aloof.

the following year was Rough™. he was no longer his dad's golden boy and the family dynamic shifted a lot with marc's death as luc ended up protecting his younger twin brothers instead of beating them for their dad's favour. he's certain he'd have been disowned had his mother not aligned herself with the kids as well.

i think their family dynamic is kinda like the cha family from sky castle if anyone has seen it !

luc eventually decided to enrol in school late, only to end up at gallagher instead. which... i mean, i think before marc died he was excited about attending blackthorne. so he’s bit ??? uncertain about the girls school.

PERSONALITY

genuinely i think it comes down to so many factors, whether he’s in a good mood, who’s speaking to him etc but neutrally he’s quite charming, happy to mess about a bit but more or less takes most stuff too seriously. since he’s not around his dad i do think he will explore a lot more and seek out adventure and fun but if he’s got a test or something due the next day then he’ll bail early since he is defo the type to never let his grades or performance be ruined

he’s quite cocky + likes to win no matter what so yes he will ruin a friendship to beat u at monopoly. second place is last place in his head.

at his best he can be confident, alluring, courteous, loyal… at his worst he's aggressive, destructive, apathetic and always says shit he doesn't mean !!!! will he apologize ?? unlikely but he'll try n make it right once he’s calmed down

thinks the best way to deal with things is with his fists, he’s so EASY to snap and start a fight n he’ll.... maybe apologise for it

i think he defo likes to pretend he’s got no problems and so reverts to a social, supportive friend every once in a while. the type to be brutally honest !!

he’s a definite know it all, thinks he’s the dog’s bollocks, gods gift etc !!!!! doesn’t believe in god but still. I kinda see him a bit jocky idk why but more brooding n isolating 70% of the time bc he’s easily pissed off but when he’s having fUNNNNN he’s ok like a solid guy at times just easily angered

very flirty, he's a major ladies man despite actually being GAY. which is a secret. sh. only two people know he’s gay and that’s his current beard girlfriend ellie cavanagh and childhood friend regine ren. more ppl can defo find out in time and i’m sure ppl have speculations ? maybe have seen him hooking up with guys or something when he thought no one was looking etc probs think he’s bi who knows!!! but for now those two are the only people he’s actually spoken to about it!!!! so if anyone else tries he will deny it as he’s very against the idea of coming out so will not discuss it ty pls.

and it’s not that he doesn’t enjoy sleeping with girls, he’ll be having a great time regardless but he just aint abt to love them like that pls understand

still, he is in a current relationship with ellie who is acting as his beard for him. they have ‘ dated ’ before and are off and on a lot, so they probably seem pretty toxic tbh since ellie n him can clash n argue and he defo still hooks up with other girls despite being in a relationship so feel free to kill him for cheating !

wanted connections !!!

going off the last point, maybe some of ellie’s friends who come at him for how he seemingly treats her !!!

i'd love for blackthorne ppl to have known his brother, he'd have been around about 22/23 and a fourth year now if he was still alive so ?? it might help luc with some closure if he could talk about him since it happened at blackthorne

ppl to know the family, some family friends would be amazing !!! i feel regardless of alliances etc their family would have stayed as neutral as possible since they're selling weapons so they want all the customers.

so people that know HIM while he was growing up would be interesting esp those expecting him to have joined blackthorne when he was supposed to 2 years ago, and obvs him probably changing from who they knew him as to a more negative version now

might put a wc for his twin bros as they potentially joined his arrival at gallagher as first years too but who knows. they’d be 18 so if anyone wants a family friend connection that is around that age, maybe they were closer to the twins than luc ??

he sleeps with a lot of girls to kinda ‘make sure’ no one knows he’s gay as he defo doesn't feel comfortable with being out. the guys that he sleeps with he'll always pin it on being too drunk to remember or he'll threaten them if they told etc ?? he's very on edge about it and would only hook up super secretly sooo if anyone’s down for that with him

and then obvs need a lot of ladies he’d wanna sleep with to keep his image

previous ex gfs ?? from prep schools !!!!!!!

some positive influences would be good

bad influences as well bc tho he is a bit of a party guy, he doesn’t drink loads and he doesn’t do drugs !!!!!!!!!!!!!! but…. I mean i bet he could be convinced now he’s away from home so

study / sparring buddies !!

i’d love someone to teach him pop culture n normality !! his childhood was training and competing with his bros so he defo doesn’t watch many movies or tv or play games etc so ? someone making him watch all the harry potters ?? binging parks and rec ?? he’d find it so dumb but who wouldnt enjoy it ??

#gallagher:intro #i know a lot of u have seen this bc i cant keep secrets but whatever #genuinely think this is my longest intro ever

[jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets]

A Magic Kingdom Love - CH 4

Title: A Magic Kingdom Love

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Destiel

Tags: fluff, just so much fluff. It gets a little heated at one point but that’s it.

Summary:

     This is based off a picture I saw on Pinterest (which I’ll post below) with this prompt attached…

     “An AU where Dean and Cas are both working for Disney and have been cast as the very first gay princes. And at first they hate each other but it’s hard to pretend you’re in love all day for sweet, shy kids, and then not makeout under the bridge of the magic kingdom castle.”

AO3 Link

Masterlist:

A/N: Soooooooo.... I know I promised y’all that I would have this fic posted yesterday but for some reason my computer decided to be a giant dick and deleted the entire post I had scheduled to post yesterday and then wouldn’t let me fix it afterwards. So I gave up and decided I would make sure it got posted today and that everyone who wanted to be tagged, got tagged. So without further adieu, here it is :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Four:

     The first couple of weeks of Dean’s dream job as a prince at the park was going by fairly well. Yes, Dean absolutely loved his job. He loved playing a prince all day, he loved being a role model to the kids and even some of the older visitors, and he loved being part of such a monumental step for the park in their journey to represent the LGBTQ community. But this thing with Castiel still had not changed, and he was starting to worry that it may never get any better. And it was not for lack of trying on Dean’s part.

     He’d been doing what Sam had told him. He’d tried to talk to Cas, to pull him into casual conversation, even suggested texting if it would make him more comfortable to ease into it, but he hadn’t gotten much of a response. He mostly just nodded or completely ignored Dean. 

     And it’s not that Dean needed Castiel to like him, but it wouldn’t be so bad to at least get along. But at the very least he was worried that it was going to start interfering with the job. He didn’t want to lose this job because they couldn’t get along. 

     Cas was good for hand holding in public, though he didn’t say much when it came to the kids, Dean did most of the talking, and rarely did he see Cas smile. Dean was starting to think Sam was wrong. It was getting less likely that Cas was shy and more likely that he was really just a dick. 

     It wasn’t until one day in the park that Dean was certain Cas was for sure a dick. 

     They were out in the park, making their rounds, when they were both surrounded by a group of very excited kids. 

     They were jumping up and down, asking all sorts of questions and getting pictures taken with the two handsome princes. When one of the kids, a little blonde girl, grabbed Dean by the jacket and asked, “Can you kiss?”

     Dean felt Cas’s entire body tense in his hold, felt Cas clutch the back of his jacket where his arm was around Dean, saw him turn his head away from Dean. 

     It was just a kiss, a little peck to make the kids smile and giggle, what was the harm. 

     But since Cas was clearly turned off by the idea of kissing Dean, with his head turned completely away, he decided to just wrap his arms around Cas and pull him in for a kiss on the cheek. The kids were still happy with it, running away giggling back to their moms, but Dean was not happy with it at all. Even less so when, after the kids were gone, Cas moved even further away and all Dean could do was sigh, completely defeated. 

     “Does that look like chemistry to you?” Ellen asked Bobby from their place on the sidelines, watching Dean and Cas as she spoke between pieces of popcorn.

     “Maybe in another dimension.”

     She hummed, popping another piece in her mouth, “I thought they would do well together, and I still think that, but I’m worried that if this doesn’t move forwards we might have to make a casting change.”

     “Maybe you should have a chat with them,” Bobby suggested, “maybe help them along. I know Dean’s trying but Castiel seems a bit on the shyer side then I thought he’d be.”

     She nodded, “I’ll call Dean in first, see if we can’t come up with a plan to get Castiel out of his shell a bit.”

     The two nodded to one another then continued on through the park.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     A knock came at her door and Ellen looked up from the paperwork on her desk, “Come on in.”

     Dean popped his head in first, then he slowly walked inside and shut the door behind him, “Is… is everything alright?”

     Ellen closed the file in front of her and folded her hands over it, “You tell me, Dean. How’s things with Castiel?”

     Dean closed his eyes and sighed, this was exactly what he was worried about.

     She gave him a sad smile and gestured to the chair across from her, “Have a seat, let’s see if we can’t work this out.”

     He shuffled his way over and plopped himself down in the chair, smacking his hands on his thighs, “I… I don't know what the problem is. Is it me?!”

     She shook her head, “I don't think it's you, Dean, I really don't. I think we might just have a little case of stage fright. We’ve helped many of our other actors get over it, sometimes it just takes a bit of time and coaching.”

     “I thought that too, or that he was just shy, but,” he shook his head, “I’ve tried everything I can think of. I've tried talking, and most of the time I feel like I’m talking to myself, the most I get is a curt nod. I've tried suggesting we meet outside of the park to get to know one another a bit better, he usually ignores me when I talk about meeting up. I even said we could start with texting if that made him more comfortable but nothing seems to be working. I don't really know what else to do here, but I don't want to lose this job, I waited two years to get it!”

     She raised both of her hands in a calming manner, “Dean, sweetie, you’re not going to lose the job. Bobby and I picked you and Castiel as the actors to play these princes because we thought you were both perfect for the roles, so we are not about to give you up that easily.” Dean breathed a sigh of relief. “What we are going to do is help you guys figure this out and get everything running smoothly, alright.”

     Dean smiled for the first time since he entered her office.

     “Now we only have two days until Mickey's birthday bash,” she said, running a hand through her hair, “you and Castiel just keep it together for two more days until the party is over, in the meantime I’ll talk to Bobby about everything we discussed today and see what we can come up with to help, and once the birthday bash is over we’ll start. How does that sound?”

     Dean nodded, “Yeah, I’m sure we can manage a few more days.”

     “Great! Now, you head on home and I’ll see you in the morning.”

     He flashed her a smile then headed for the door, turning back before he opened it, “It's…” She looked up at him. “It's not that I don't like Cas cuz I do, I really do, and I’m sure he’s a great guy once you get past his outer shell. But I do want this to work between us, I want us to be close so that we can do the role’s justice. So I hope we can help him get out of this shell, and whatever you or Cas need from me in order to do so, I’ll do it. I want to help him.”

     “You’re a sweet kid, Dean,” she regarded him with a warm smile, “I’ll get started on a plan with Bobby right away. We’ll get you two in shape in no time.”

     With one last smile and a thanks, he left and headed for home.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     With the conversation he had with Ellen running on a constant loop in his mind, the two days leading up to the birthday bash crawled by agonizingly slowly, but finally the night had arrived.

     He was in one of the change rooms with Cas, both finishing up the last details on their costumes before heading out. They had spent about an hour in silence as they got dressed, and Dean was starting to get annoyed but he tried to push that feeling down and remain calm. 

     “You excited for the party?”

     Cas made quick eye contact with him before just as quickly averting his gaze and merely giving Dean a nod.

     “How was your day off yesterday?”

     “Fine.”

     Fine… just fine? That’s all he got? 

     That was the last straw for Dean. He had been trying and trying and was getting nothing in return but short, and quite frankly, seemingly snarky responses. He finished fastening the clasp on his cape then turned to face Cas, eyebrows furrowed, “Seriously, man, what is your-”

     “Y’all ready?!” 

     Before he could really lay into Cas, Ellen walked in, stopping him before his anger could really get the better of him. 

     “The rest of the characters are getting lined up backstage by the balcony,” she waved them on to walk with her, and they followed her out, “just follow everyone else when they head out, stand and wave at the crowd, and once were finished with that you’ll head down to mingle with the guests. Alright?”

     They both nodded and lined up with the rest of the characters. They remained silent, neither even so much as bothering to look in the others direction as they waited. Once Ellen got on the balcony and announced the characters, they followed everyone forward, Dean not even offering his arm until they were a step away from the curtin.

     They stood on the balcony with the other characters and waved at the crowds below, and Ellen wasn’t kidding when she said this event always drew in a full house, it was even more crowded then when they held Dean and Cas’s event. 

     Soon enough Ellen called Mickey out onto the balcony and the characters plus the crowd below all came together to sing happy birthday. A very large, multiple tier cake was brought out in the process and everyone clapped as Mickey blew out all the candles with the help of his friends Donald and Goofy. And shortly after, the characters left the stage with the promise of joining the crowds below for the rest of the evening's festivities.

     And to no one's surprise, especially Dean’s, as soon as they were back stage and the curtains closed behind them, Cas let go of Dean’s arm and took a very obvious step to the side and away from him. It really pissed Dean off. 

     They were just about to head out, Dean getting ready to put on his happy face for the remainder of the night, and pretend like he and Cas were oh so in love, when they were stopped by a kid walking past them. 

     “Why aren’t you holding hands,” the little boy asked, pointing to both Cas and Dean who were feet away from each other at this point, “I thought you were in love?”

     Dean didn't quite know how to respond to this question, and clearly neither did Cas since he practically turned and ran away. 

     The kid looked to Dean, partly concerned and party devastated that Cas had just left like that, so Dean leaned down and tried to bullshit his way out of this without getting fired. “Prince Cas isn't feeling very well right now, I think he ate too much cake,” the kid giggled when Dean made a face at him, “I’m going to go check and make sure he’s alright, you go ahead and enjoy the party, I think the fireworks are about to start!”

     That seemed to satisfy the kid just fine, and Dean ruffled his hair before he ran off. Then Dean turned to chase down his ‘sick’ prince. 

     He caught up with him just outside the tunnel under the Magic Kingdom bridge, grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him inside, pushing him against the wall of the tunnel. 

     “What the hell-”

     “Yeah, what the hell is right, Cas!” He shouted, making Cas blink in confusion, “I’ve had enough of this. We've been working together now for over a month, we should be able to communicate with each other by now but I can't seem to get a handle on you.”

     Cas just blinked at him as Dean continued to hold him against the tunnel wall as he spoke, “You’ll hold my hand and smile in public, but as soon as it's just us you completely change. You won’t talk to me, you barely look at me, and as soon as there’s no one else around you’re pushing me away. Am I that repulsive to you?!”

     “I…” Cas stammered, searching for words, “It's not that-”

     Dean shook his head, “I have been trying to make this work between us, but you don't seem to wanna try in return. This is my second time trying for this job. The first time I was rejected before the interview even started, so this is my second chance at a job I have always wanted. I just want to make the kids happy and have a good time, to enjoy getting up in the morning because I love my job. But for some reason that I can't figure out, you don't want to be a part of this partnership. You’re so god damn closed off, and if you don't start opening up and actually making it seem like we’re as in love as we are supposed to be, then one or both of us is going to get fired. And I don't wanna lose this job! I had to wait two years for this second chance and I don't wanna blow it!”

     He waited for Cas to say something, anything, but he was met with the same silence and the same stoic stare he seemed to always get from him. 

     “Look,” Dean breathed deep, trying to calm down, “I need you to tell me now, before we get into this any deeper than we already are, whether or not you want to keep doing this. So do you? Do you want to keep being my prince?”

      It was no surprise to Dean when Cas just continued to stare at him, though he would admit he was a little disappointed.

     Dean let Cas go, taking a step back from him and just shook his head. This was it. He had waited two years, two goddamn years for this job and now he was literally watching it all go down the drain. He was going to lose this job and all hopes of ever getting another one the same, all because this guy couldn’t get over himself.

     “Forget it,” he waved Cas off, “maybe I can try again in two years if another position opens up-”

     Castiel’s actions had long since stopped shocking Dean, but when Cas suddenly grabbed him by the front of the jacket and pulled him into a long hard kiss, he had to say he was both shocked and thrilled at the same time.

     When Cas pulled back, but still had a grip on Dean’s jacket, it was Dean’s turn to merely stare at Cas. For the first time in his life he found he didn't Quite know what to say.

     “I…” Cas took a deep breath then looked Dean straight in the eyes as he continued with a new found confidence that Dean had to admit, he found slightly sexy, “I do not find you repulsive, Dean, it's quite the opposite actually. I am extremely attracted to you.”

     Dean’s eyebrows shot into his hairline, and still he couldn’t find the right words to say.

     “I just… I am afraid that I may look the part of prince but I have no idea how to act like one,” he sighed with a shake of his head, '' I was recommended this job by my godmother, Amara, who thought I looked the part and could easily get the job. I only did the interview to humor her, but it turns out she was right. But I am so extremely socially awkward, I never know what to say, and when I do seem to say something it comes out wrong. And I was trying to avoid being affectionate with you because I didn't know where your feelings stood, or even if you were interested in men. I didn't want to get too close to you and end up breaking my own heart in the end. I just… I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to open up to people.”

     Cas turned away from Dean, and Dean brought his face back to look at him, “This is a good start, Cas. And I can help you with all of that, all you have to do is ask. I’m here for you.”

     Dean held out a hand between them and smiled at Cas. Cas smiled back and took Dean’s hand, “Thank-you, Dean.”

     “And if you ever get stuck or don’t know what to say you can lean on me, we’re partners, we’re in this together.”

     Cas nodded, a small smile creeping across his face.

     “And as for the rest, I’ve never had an interest in a man before,” Cas looked down at his feet, trying to hide the disappointment in his eyes, “but I guess that’s because I just never came across the right guy, never met anyone that I thought was worth giving a chance, now I have.”

     Dean took Cas’s chin between his fingers and pulled his face back up to his, pulling Cas in for another kiss, this one he eagerly returned with as much passion as Cas. The two found themselves quickly tangled together, arms wrapped tightly around one another as Dean lifted him slightly against the wall. Their tongues met tentatively at first, but soon enough they were both ravishing one another under the Magic Kingdom bridge as the fireworks started going off over the castle beside them. It was the best night of Dean’s life.

     He let Cas slide back down to the ground, moving his lips from his and along his jaw, down his neck to suck on the skin there. Cas tilted his head to the side to allow Dean better access and groaned when Dean slid his thigh between Cas’s legs. 

     A particularly loud firework pulled Cas back to reality as he remembered exactly where they were, and pulled gently on Dean’s hair where his fingers had at some point ended up. Dean hummed against Cas’s skin as he continued to suck and rub his thigh against Cas, pulling more moans from the already breathless man. 

     “Dean,” he panted, “we should stop before someone sees, we are at a family park after all.”

     Dean chuckled into Cas’s neck and murmured into the skin there, “Yeah, you’re right,” he placed one last kiss on his neck before pulling back to look Cas in the eyes, “we should head back, I’m sure people are wondering where we went. And if we stay here any longer we might not be able to turn back.”

     Cas nodded, tightening his hold around Dean’s neck, “We don't want to get caught making out under the bridge, or worse.”

     Dean hummed and leaned into Cas’s space, “If I’m going to be a proper prince, I should really ask you out on a date first, at least take you to dinner.”

     “Are you asking?”

     “Are you saying yes?” Dean asked with a raised brow and a smirk.

     Cas leaned in and captured Dean’s lips in a quick kiss, “Yes.”

     “Good. Tomorrow's our day off, so you can finally give me your number,” Dean pecked his lips, “and I’ll pick you up tomorrow at six.”

     “Can’t wait.”

     They tangled together for one last passionate kiss before parting and heading back to the party hand in hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     “I haven't seen them since we left the balcony.”

     “They can't have gone far,” Bobby said as he looked around, then tapped Ellen’s shoulder and pointed, “there they are.”

     They stood and watched as Dean and Cas came strolling in together from a pathway off to the side, arm in arm, “Are… are they smiling at each other? And talking?!”

     “Seems like,” Bobby smiled at the two as Cas giggled at something Dean whispered in his ear.

     As they continued to watch them in complete shock at this turn of events, a small group of kids ran past the two princes bouncing a balloon between them. The kids hit the balloon high into the air and it floated over to Cas and Dean. Dean chuckled as it blew into his face then hit the balloon back in the direction of the kids, which then started a small game between them as the kids continued to hit it back wanting them to play. 

     Cas took a small step back, not quite sure what to do, and Dean just wrapped his arm around him and pulled him back. He gave Cas a small nudge and whispered, “Play, it's okay, Cas.”

     Cas nodded to Dean then knelt down on the ground as the balloon came his way and hit it back to the kids. They were more than thrilled that Prince Cas was playing with them, and Dean stood back with an adoring smile on his face and watched as Cas laughed and played with the kids. Becoming more and more comfortable as they went, and Cas found himself really enjoying the game and the happiness of the kids.

     After a few rounds Dean decided to join in and knelt down behind Cas, wrapping his body and arm around him and placing his chin on his shoulder. As the balloon came closer, Dean reached out to try and beat Cas to it and ended up hitting the balloon backwards and into Cas’s face. The two burst out laughing, and the sounds of Cas’s genuine full body laugh had Dean’s gut doing flips. He loved the sound and never wanted it to stop.

     He stared fondly at Cas for a few moments, basking in the sound of his laugh, then moved in to place a soft kiss on Cas’s cheek, then his neck, then leaned his face to rest in the crook of Cas’s neck as Cas rocked them gently back and forth. 

     The kids ran off soon after to play together, waving to them as they did. Dean stood and pulled Cas along with him and kept him as close to his body as he could possibly be. 

     Bobby and Ellen watched with slacked jaws as Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist, and Cas his arms around Dean’s neck. And as the second round of fireworks went off high in the sky above them, Dean leaned in and kissed Cas long and sweet. Definitely not the kind of kiss one would see between two actors playing a part, but rather one filled with a passion between two lovers, two soul mates who had finally found one another.

     “What… what the hell happened?!” Ellen turned a shocked look on Bobby.

     “I have no idea.” All he could do was shake his head.

     “Seriously, what the hell happened?!”

     Bobby looked between Ellen and the boys, who were still locked at the lips, then back to Ellen, “I am honestly just as confused as you are here.”

     “I mean, not that I’m complaining, this is great!” She gestured to the boys. “But I just spoke with Dean two days ago and he told me things weren't going too well between them. I was starting to worry that this might not work out, but this… this is excellent! It's perfect!”

     As his initial shock wore off and Dean and Cas parted just enough so their noses were still touching, Bobby was able to see the pure bliss on his nephews face as he looked at Cas. Bobby nodded once, a smile creeping its way onto his face, and said to Ellen, “That they are.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: So there you have it my friends, tis the end! Buuuuuutttttttt..... don’t forget, I do have an epilogue still planned and waiting in the winds if y’all would like to read it and see what’s next for our two beautiful princes XD Just let me know in a comment or an ask, or feel free to shoot me a message, I would love to talk to you!

And, I would just like to say thank-you to anyone who read this and who made it to the end, you’re lovely. And to anyone who commented, you’re also beautiful! <3

If anyone would like to be tagged in any of my other destiel fics, please let me know!

I do have two that are currently WIP’s, you can check them out below...

The Thing About Blind Dates

Mountain High

Other then that I hope everyone enjoyed this, a big shout out to @purgatory-jar for the amazing art! Go check them out!! Another shout out to @kitsunecastiel who is my destiel sounding board and who puts up with me and all my ramblings about these two boys, you’re the best little sis <3

And, here are the tags: @kitsunecastiel @florenciareiser @soulmatchortega @humanlady28 @sugarbae128 @deeutdutdutdoh @willastar23 @quillsandink-writes @avokind @theninthdutchessofhell @bbotts9797 @supernaturalbaesduh @deanwithhisimpala @deanssidechick @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @thekingofgreenapples @say-it-aint-so-bro @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @markpellegrincs @pooffa @magicalmess93 @all-time-fall-out-panic-pilots @myessenceconsistsofdeadmemes @petertingle3000 @ractna @but-for-the-gods-three-days @upside-down-fable @analogical-love-child

#destiel #supernatural #destiel fanfiction #Destiel fanfic #destiel fic #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fic #dean winchester #castiel #dean and cas #dean/cas #Dean and Castiel #dean x castiel #dean x cas #Dean Winchester x Castiel #Dean Winchester/Castiel #dean winchester x cas #sam winchester #charlie bradbury #ellen harvelle #bobby singer #disney #disney parks #magic kingdom #magic kingdom castle #disney prince #prince dean #prince cas #prince castiel

[planetkookie]

What’s In A Heart? (Heart Point Fic)

Summary- How does one resident dad friend deal with feelings? With a lot of difficulty, that’s for sure

Warnings- Crying, a breakup (?? I think that’s it)

Words- 1600

Notes- Finally I’ve written something, I’m so sorry it’s been forever. This is part of my and @stars-and-rose Heart Point AU, taking place in Patton’s perspective because I had an okay idea like,, a few months ago and I finally came back to it. Definitely you should read the actual fic <HERE> and also <CH 4> because it provides necessary context. I didn’t put it on ao3 cause the actual fic isn’t there either sooo yeh. ENJOY! Tell me what you thought!

Patton winced as he watched Logan look over at Roman for the millionth time that day. It was impressive how oblivious Roman was, as Logan’s gaze lasted longer and longer until he was basically staring at the other teen. Some part of it was infuriating to watch. Logan was being so obvious. He considers the fact that Logan must be just as oblivious, seeing as Patton had liked him since they met freshman year and he was decidedly not good at hiding his feelings. Everyone who knew Patton would tell him that. Sighing internally, he looked up and caught Remy’s eye, and Remy rolled his eyes, indicating that he was quite annoyed with the painfully obvious pining that was happening right next to him. Patton rolled his eyes back and shrugged at him. It’s not like he could do anything about it.

As the day went on, he forgot about the incident. It was just one of the many he’d had to endure, and this was especially uneventful. He remembered a time where Logan had brought Roman his favorite flowers, clearly trying to ask him out, and Roman, completely unaware, had friend-zoned him. If Patton was honest with himself, he had thought it was kind of funny, though afterward, he had had a long chat with Logan about feelings. He remembered how sad Logan had been, and being him, he had to help even though he liked Logan. They talked for hours about how Roman was painfully ignorant when it came to other people and about Patton’s secret crush. Logan had pressed him a little, the boy’s curious nature driving him to question everything, but Patton had turned him down with a sad smile. He had vowed that he would never tell Logan.Though even just talking about it with said-crush made him feel a tad bit better about the situation. Even though Logan had no idea.

Though it was hard to keep a straight face around Logan, he had practice. Sure, his face would flush a little, but as far as Logan knew, it was just him. He had learned how to be normal, he didn’t need the other boy thinking he was crazy. Besides, after their conversation or interaction, he could easily just go and complain to Roman or Remy. He was lucky he had friends who would listen to his trivial boy problem. 

-

After a horrifyingly awkward class with Logan, he made himself a promise to go complain about the incident with Roman. It wasn’t something he allowed himself often, he didn’t want to bother any of his friends with a silly little crush that he may or may not have had since he met the nerdy boy, but today he needed to talk about it or he would seriously go crazy. Plus, now that he thought about it, a little heart to heart with Roman might not be a bad idea. He had found out recently that Vance had been cheating on his best friend with Cassidy, a hotheaded girl set for prom queen among other things. Even though that was like, months away. Lost in thought, he made his way back to his dorm room. 

Opening the door to the small space he immediately frowned. Roman was nowhere in sight, probably out with his boyfriend on a date or something. He huffed, exasperated. This was definitely a moment where Roman’s ignorance affected him quite negatively. It was so infuriatingly obvious the way Vance basically drooled over Cassidy. And only Roman would be so blind to not see it. Grumbling quietly, he rolled onto his bed, scrolling through Pinterest on his phone. At some point, Remy had joined him in his mindless nothingness, and so they sat, enjoying the quiet.

About and hour or so passed (he lost track of time) when he heard the door practically slam open, the sound of hiccuping sobs making him sit up in alarm. Roman was stood there, his face flushed a deep shade of red as tears spilled mercilessly down his cheeks. In an instant, he was stood up, tending to Roman’s needs as if he were a little kid again, making sure everything was okay. In a hysterical confirmation of what he had already assumed, he shifted fully into dad mode, a name his friends came up with for his overwhelmingly parental nature. 

After a few outbursts and small squabbles between him and Remy and also making sure everything with Roman was as perfect as it could be, the door opened again to show a winded but concerned Logan. Grumbling internally because he had just been able to think about something other than the nerd’s perfect face, he let Logan inside, showing him to their sad friend. Patton watched from where he stood as Logan quieted the crying, gifting Roman some stickers that he just knew were going to be Roman’s new favorites. It made him disappointed but also proud at the same time. Logan was finally learning how to deal with emotional outbursts like his and Ro’s. But he knew that the nerd would never show his full capacity for caring outside of Roman. It was just a fact he had come to accept.

Somehow, Logan had convinced him to let him take Roman for a few. It was against his need to know what was happening with his best friend as well as against his better judgement, but the voice in his head told him that Logan cared and wouldn’t let anything happen to his dramatic bff. He could see the knowing look in the other’s eyes as Logan walked Roman out of the dorm room and away to who knows where, leaving him alone once more. 

After just the right amount of time spent alone with nothing to worry about, a frantic kick at the door woke him out of his calm stupor. Groggily he opened the door, revealing a panicked Logan holding a limp Roman. He let the shock of the situation wear off before he ushered Logan inside, having him place the fainted Roman onto his bed. First of order, he placed his fingers to Roman’s neck, and the calming feeling of his pulse reassured him that Roman was going to be just fine. Next on his list was interrogating Logan. Just before he was about to unleash his parental wrath on his crush and friend, Remy strolled in, holding an on brand Starbucks cup and a smirk, stopping the murderous storm that Patton was about to cause. 

Roman did eventually wake up, muttering strange things about hearts and stars among other things, making Patton think the brain damage Roman may have suffered was more severe than they might have realized. Or he was just rambling. 

-

Ever since the fainting incident, Roman had been acting weird. Like, weirder-than-normal weird. It started with the whole star and heart confusion that had happened, but he’d been straight up disappearing at some moments, saying really strange things the next. In all honesty, it had been starting to worry Patton. Up until he found out about that.

He wasn’t mad. Well, maybe he was a little, but overall he was just dejected and a little betrayed. When Remy had come up to him gossiping about Roman having a date with Logan it was safe to say he was a little crushed. Though now that he thought about it, that’s probably exactly why he hadn’t gotten told about the whole kissing debacle. 

It just hurt. And he felt like his reasons were pretty justified too. Roman had known about his feelings. There had been many occasions on which he would just sit and talk to his best friend about Logan and how he felt and now everything was flipped on its head and turned backwards. Roman was going on a date with Logan. He knew his feelings were never going to be reciprocated but this was how his heart had to break. Not because of Logan, but because of Roman. At least he still had Remy to talk to. For now at least. 

He wasn’t going to be mad at Roman. That’s what he promised himself. His friend’s newfound feelings for Logan was more important than his own. 

If he cried when he heard the news, well, only Remy would be able to tell you for sure.

-

Everything that had occurred that day left Patton utterly exhausted. The betrayal he felt because of the date and his feelings, the guilt he felt from spying on said date with Remy, the absolute terror that the escape room had caused him, it was all a bit too much. So when he heard a knock at the door of his dorm room and a questioning “Roman?” that decidedly was not Logan, it took everything in his heart to not pass out right there, ignoring the voice. But he didn’t.

Opening the door revealed a tall emo with dyed hair that had a suspicious resemblance to Remy. In his mind, he immediately had adopted the older boy. After greeting him and inviting him in, he found out what the senior was really here for. To invite Roman out with him. Whether this was a date or not he wasn’t sure, but if he said his heart didn’t jump at the fact that he may still have a chance with Logan, well, he’d be lying. He grinned, telling the older boy that he’d pass along the message to Roman. Closing his door, he felt a strange mix of guilt and glee as he returned to his bed, ready for a good night’s sleep.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logince #unreciprocated logicality #logicality #sanders sides au #heart point au #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #remy sanders #sleep sanders #my writing #oneshot #vance #cassidy #aphmau #heart point

[mytrashs-blog]

Alter Ego ch. 4 “Perficiendi”

Spideychelle, Peter Parker x Reader, slow burn fic, Enhanced reader.

Word Count: 2,388

Warnings: PTSD, men being trash, terrible coping mechanisms

Summary: “When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.”

A/N: Made it to the 4th chapter! Yay!! This one is a chill one, I like to say this is the calm before the storm, and you really don’t know what ya got comin’ but yeah, I gotta keep encoraging you to Reblog!! This!! Post!! because that’s how we keep ‘em comin’ and also leave the comments, they make me very happy. If you wanne be part of the taglist, shoot me an ask! :)xx

Ch. 3 “Ipsum Invenies”

It really was a simple design, kind of like the one Spider-man wore, red, blue and a few details in black. You wanted it to be like your male counterpart, a one piece with a mask covering all of your face, plus you needed to solve the eye problem, cause you’ve realized that it’s annoying at some extent to see as wide as you do, so you want to solve this to be able to concentrate in what’s more important.

The doing was the complicated part, because though you had a bit of knowledge in how to make clothes for some clubs you were in during middle and high school, you have no idea how to make a superhero suit. For starters: What kind of fabric is flexible and bulletproof, and super resistent to knives and all kind of lethal weapons? What is Spider-man’s suit made of anyway? So many unanswered questions. In the end you settled for high resistance spandex and a ton of cosplay tutorials on Pinterest and YouTube.

The first prototipe was ready in three days, but the final version, the one in which you could run, jump and everythign else took two weeks to perfect. But of course you wanted to know how to fight, so you enrolled on the gym for some boxing classes and your mother loved the idea, for it was a way for you to defend yourself if you were ever in a traumatic situation again. You really don’t wanna know how she’d react if she knew what you’re planning to do.

The spiderweb was a lot more complicated, where does Spider-man get that thing from? You know that this would be awfully easier if you had a Tony stark to pay for all your toys, but for now, all you have is Lexi: biochemistry student, roomie and very close friend. She offers her help to develpo the webs, one that’s resistent and can carry tons of weight, on the last minute you come up with the idea of infusing the web with a sedative that activates on contact, to avoid the prey from getting rif of it. That process took a lot of work and time aswell.

It took two long months for you to feel ready to go through with your revenge but even after that, you couldn’t quite find the uber driver, at some point you question if it’s even worth it, even google has its limits and it won’t present you an adress just like that. And that’s when it gets really hard. Your idea is to hack into Uber’s database to get the adress. If the police didn’t even go after him, maybe he didn’t run away.

Your college is very big, you know a lot of people, but since you went missing in the middle of exams season, everyone is very busy and it’s hard to find someone available to help you hack a likely vey protected site, but you try regardless. It takes about 15 calls and hundreds of unanswered texts, but you finally get a very nice nerd to teach you how to do the dirty job, because you really didn’t want to tell him what you were planning.

You had to begin your infiltration from a strange computer, in a place far away from your apartment and with a VPN adress, to be untraceable, hard work, but your nerd friend taught you everything you needed and it wouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to do it.

The codes you have to write in are long, the ones you have to get rid of are hard to find, but you enhanced senses can do it faster than you’d ever imagined, before the incident you would’ve never been able to do it, while your thoughts drift away, you make it inside Uber’s database, you search for the information you need. You don’t type in his name, that would have made it easier for the page to identify it’s been hacked, but once you find it you take a picture of the screen eith the phone your mom insisted on buying for you and you get out of the page they way your nerd friend tol you. You’re safe.

You get out of the place, but you leave the laptop there, you figured it’d be better of someone steals it, that way it’s impossible to trace it to you. You walk to a bus stop to get back home, you don’t even consider taxis or anything else for transport anymore.

You put on your earphones while you get on the public transport, after playing some music from your phone, you decide to take a look at the data you gathered, when you open it you realize that apart from the data of the man, there’s a picture of him, looking at it takes you back to that same face looking at you like an animal about to attack, his hands touching you, his weight over your body, the puch with the baseball bat, you remember everything he made you live in a second and suddenly you’re gripping the metal bar in front of your seat with all your strenght, you feel the metal giving in under your muscles, molding to the shape of your closed fist over it. You let go.

You have tears in your eyes and the person beside you looks at you concerned, scared even. You get off the bus the second it stops and you run, you run as fast as you can in the direction of your apartment, images attacking you like flashes in a dark room, you don’t want to see it, you speed up and everything around you is a blur, except for the images in your mind, when they stop coming you start slowing down until you stop too. You’re one block away from your apartment, but you can’t, you crumble and start ccrying again. All these new abilities and none of them can help you forget. You cry until the sun starts setting, you’re still sitting on the cold pavement of the street, people walk by and they stare at you, but frankly you couldn’t care less, after a while Lexi calls.

“Hey…”

“Where are you? Everything alright?”

“I’m one block away, I was doing some stuff but I’m almost there now.”

“Okay, I ordered pizza”

“Okay.” The conversation is flat, no feelings there, maybe Lexi sounded a bit worried, lately it seems like she’s treating you like you’re a fragile piece of china that’s about to fall off a shelf, always treating you with tenderness and waryness, it’s annoying but understandable. Paola also had to endure your dissapearance, she had to go to the police only to be ignored, no one even bothered in telling her how the search was doing and she had to be in the apartment by herself, with all your stuff as a constant reminder that you were still gone.

You get up and walk back home, you don’t notice but you’re still trembling for the emotional crisis, so much that when you try to get the key in the door you simply can’t and you get so frustrated that you end up punching the wall, you get worried you might have broken it, but it’s safe for now, it’s just a small crack on it. Lexi opens the door a few seconds after.

“Did you get the info?”

“Yeah. We have to confirm the adress, so we have to go there a couple times to check it’s the right one and we’ll go from there.”

“Alight. There’s the pizza.”

“Thanks… Would you mind coming with me to check the adress? I don’t think seeing him again by myself is a good idea just yet.” Yous ask, eyes glued to the table, avoiding any kind of eye contact.

“Sure. When do you wanna go?”

“Tomorrow.” You finish. Lexi nods and goes in her room.

After finishing your dinner you go to bed, you’d never admit it, but since you came back home, sleeping is the hardest thing to do, you always have nightmares, all the things you’d rather forget come back to you every night. And each time, you lay there, looking at the ceiling until you fall asleep and the nightmares start coming. You tell yourself they’ll stop once you get your revenge, that you won’t let anyone else go through the hell you’re still going through.

The next day Lexi and you get in Sebastian’s car, you didn’t tell him why, but he agreed to take you to the adress, when you get there you decide to park a bit far but not so much that you lose sight and then you wait. An hour goes by and then there’s a car parking in front of the house, it’s not the same car you got in that night, but the driver is the same. Your blood boils in your veins and you feel color coming to your cheeks, then you see a second person getting out of the same car, a woman, the man hugs her and kisses her on the lips, that make you even more furious.

How coud he have a partner and do such monstrosity?He might be even married to this woman and yet he did what he did. You feel Lexi’s arms coming up behind you to hug you, you don’t react, you stay staring at the house of your rapist, Sebastian looking at you worried, but he doesn’t ask.

“Let’s go.” You say and Sebastian drives back to your place. When you open the door to get down he stops you.

“Why don’t you go ahead, Lexi? I wanna talk to (Y/N)”. Lexi nods and steps off, she turns to look at you, but then she walks inside the building. “Who’s the man from that house?” he asks, serious.

“Nobody.” You answer looking in your apartment’s direction.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I just want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t open up.”

“You’d help me if you stop asking questions.” You answer and you turn to look at him in the eyes, he’s looking at you the same way Lexi does, with pity, just as if you were an abandoned puppy.

“I’m not gonna judge you. I just think it’s better for you to talk about it, you know? Did that man hurt you? Does he have anything to do with you waking up in a hospital after being missing for two weeks?” Your jaw falls a little at that. Why the hell does he know you were missing? It didn’t even make it to the news. “News travel fast on campus, of course I found out.”

“It’s none of your business Sebastian. Please drop it.” You feel you voice cracking on the last sentence, Sebastian puts his hand over yours in your lap. You look at his hand then at him and then at his lips. You kiss him. He kisses you back.

The kiss is hungry and messy, almost wild, your hands play with the hem of his shirt, one of them goes up to play with his hair, he takes you by the waist, bringing you closer, you break the kiss for a second so you can climb onto his lap with a nimble movement and you also manage to get the seat back as far as it could, you kiss him again, harder than before, his hands go to your waist once again and they make their way down until he’s firmly holding your butt, his mouth moving towards your neck. Your hands go to the waist line of his jeans, playing with the buckle of his belt for a second. And you hesitate. Should you be doing this with your exboyfriend.? And you stop in your tracks.

“I cannot do this.” You say as you go back to the passanger’s seat, Sebastian looks at you confused, but he says nothing. You get off the car and run to your apartment, you rush to the bathroom and shut the door, you get undressed as you feel the tears running down your face. Are you even able to do anything anymore without crying? You get in the shower and you let the cold water fall on your body. You stay there until you stop feeling.

You feel nothing.

…

Peter ends up deciding to improve the dron a few 20 meters more, which did require a bit of a hustle with the software of the suit, but that wasn’t nearly as hard as getting KAREN to have real time access to police centres all around the country. It took a couple weeks and him having to deactivate his AI for a few days, which made his life a lot harder. But he made it. Now he can listen and record all calls made to 911 as they are happening, which are a lot, by the way, but he was also able to come up with an algorithm to filter what matters to him and what doesn’t, not that some things don’t matter to him, just that there are some stuff that are relevant to the research and some that aren’t, you get the point, right?

So, only kidnapping, dissapearances and found bodies were coming through, and to Peter’s surprise, there were so many calls a day being stored in KAREN’s data base.

After some weeks everything became a bit tedious, none of the calls had anything to do with the case, little by little Peter started to lose interest in the research. Mr. Stark had made very little progress aswell, from what he heard, therefore he too started to focus on other important matters, but not dropping the topic completely, just in case.

MJ is going to prom with Peter, but he needs a suit, and he’s also helping ned come up with a plan o ask Betty out. It’s like, for the first time in forever he finally has time to be a normal teenager and he doesn’t have to go after bad guys in the city. He’s finally finding the balance between Spider-man and Peter.

But of course everything in his life has to change one secong to another, but this… he definetely didn’t see coming.

-

taglist

@caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanart #tom holland x reader #tom #holland #peter #parker #peterparker #peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fanart #peter parker x reader #spider-man #spiderman #spider man #spiderman homecoming #spiderman far from home #spidey #spiderverse #spider son #spideychelle #marvel #MCU #mcuedit #marvel mcu #mcufam

[theheartofpenelope]

SIMPLE THINGS - Chapter three

Chapter three - excerpt : No. Not butterflies. Never butterflies. Fireflies! It would seem the little leftover rascal had found a friend. Two little beetles together, having fun and carefully shedding some light on her forlorn heart. Their fluttering however barely noticeable - still, there they were. And they did manage to somehow manifest themselves more clearly when Charlotte finally set foot in the lobby at the established hour. 'Nasty little buggers'.

Tag list: @winterisakiller, @devikafernando, @scorpionchild81, @messy-insomniac-bookgirl, @smutsausage, @hiddlesbitch1 @noplacelikehome77 @wolfsmom1 @meh1217 @dina-bln @lilaeye39 @tinchentitri @fairlightswiftly @nonsensicalobsessions @wolfsmom1

Author’s Notes/Warnings: Not beta’d. And thank you in advance for feedback - would love to know what you think...

Also on AO3 through this link

Bonus: click here for the pinterest moodboard (always updated)

Chapter three

London - Day twelve

Oh, curse those nervous jitters… Charlotte looked up from the desk and scanned the spectators in the conference room. They lied about those bright lights, she thought, they don’t completely black out the audience. Damn it.

She exhaled quietly and took a drink from her glass of water while the power point-presentation was started up for her. She could do this. There was no doubt. She repeated it in her mind like a mantra. Her mind would surely come around soon, however her stomach was in knots.

God, I have to find a way around this soon. Very soon. Close your eyes Charlie, take a deep breath.

Charlotte would hear the spectators shuffling in their seats, the subtle buzz of people talking and flipping through their syllabi while they waited…. It was always the same story. That same petrifying and paralysing stage fright that kept on haunting her, wherever she would go. The absolute horror of getting that first sentence out there… but then, once she was past that, she would be on a roll. She knèw it. If only she could get at that point easier or faster somehow.

So Charlotte tried reminding herself some of the reassuring words friends and family had spoken to her to break her anxiety. Her brother’s “imagine the crowd in their kinkiest underwear!” never ceased to make her smirk just a little bit. But today, it was Tom’s “you’re passionate about your work. You’ll be fine,” that suddenly echoed through her mind. It brought a slight smile to her face and gave her that much-needed boost of confidence she was looking for.

And on that high, Charlotte confidently launched her theories on medical assistance with end of life decisions from her professional yet controversial point of view. Ready to take on the world. Preferably by storm. The feedback after her presentation was larger than she had expected and made for an interested debate in the auditorium as well as captivating conversations during the ensuing lunch break.

When the colloquium concluded for the day, Charlotte felt both satisfied and exhausted. As she walked back to her hotel room all she really longed for was a hot bath and a good book in that pristine air-conditioned hotel room. She was however surprised at the fact that the hotel manager, while handing her back her room key, informed her a message had been left for her at the front desk.

A wave of worry rippled through her, and a monster like claw clenched itself around anxious heart. She feared at first that some emergency had occurred family-wise, but then surely they would have tried calling her cell phone? They knew she kept the device close to her at all times. Surely, they would have rang,… wouldn’t they?

While she questioned the manager if he was absolutely sure, he spelled her name to which she could only nod affirmatively.

Maybe it was a work-related issue? An urgent case-file perhaps? My god, please not now, she wished. It was as if, after the debate all energy had escaped her body.

She longed for her home, her living room, where she could curl up in her favourite nook of the sofa with a good book and some lounge music playing in the background.

A large yellow manila envelope was handed to her. It weighed light in her hands. It couldn’t hold more than one page, she concluded, so hardly a professional emergency. Her mind worriedly drifted back to her family, the monster claw tightened his grip around her heart. Good news rarely came in tiny packages…

Charlotte opened the envelope in the elevator. She had no patience. It was somewhat of a problem, but on a professional level it was one of her best traits. On the beautiful hotel stationary a message was typed out. Apparently a phone call had come in, requesting her. The message was short and to the point, and with a sigh of relief her lips curved into a smile as her eyes scanned the narrative.

I hope your day went well. You’re very kindly invited to a small gathering of people tonight. It’s Ben’s birthday -  so you can’t really say no. Meet me in the lobby at 6.30 PM. Dress casually; it’s an outside event. Greetings from Tom.

Her unfounded agony quickly made way for butterflies. No. Not butterflies. Never butterflies. Fireflies! It would seem the little leftover rascal had found a friend. Two little beetles together, having fun and carefully shedding some light on her forlorn heart. Their fluttering however barely noticeable - still, there they were. And they did manage to somehow manifest themselves more clearly when Charlotte finally set foot in the lobby at the established hour. Nasty little buggers.

Her choice of attire earned her that first broad smile of his. Talk about an icebreaker.

“M’lady,” Tom unfolded himself from his seat and gave her a polite nod accompanied with a gentle wink. “Good sir,” Charlotte beamed at the elegant appearance in front of her, “will this do?” “You look lovely darling,” he kissed her on the cheek. There was that wonderful scent again. His beard softly brushed against her cheek, “I’m pleased you made it.” “Well you didn’t exactly give me the chance to say no, did you?” she impishly reprimanded. “It’s all Benedict really. He requested your presence for his birthday. I have nothing to do with it.” “No, you’re just the innocent messenger,” Charlotte teased. “Quite right,” he added with a proud nod, “we – I mean he thought you might appreciate the warmth of company, rather than a lonely hotel room.” “How very considerate of,” she paused calculatedly, “him,”

A mischievous grin followed as he offered her his arm, “let’s go, shall we?”

After that successful lecture she was oozing with confidence. She felt quite bold and adventurous all of a sudden. But Charlotte also had a lousy sense of direction and once in Tom’s car she internally fretted whether this was a good idea or not. Where was she headed? Was he a good driver? The control freak in her fought for supremacy, whereas her tired mind looked forward to an evening of mystery and was more than eager to surrender herself to whatever surprises that might cross her path in the course of the evening. Charlotte wriggled in her seat and it didn’t go by unnoticed.

“Are you alright darling?” he queried humorously. “Yes,” she nodded before adding with a kind-hearted laugh, “actually no. You drive on the other side of the road for starters.”

There was that second broad smile of the night.

“Also,” she puffed out a short exhale, “I’m suddenly very aware that I am putting my life in your hands here.” He glanced over at the young woman next to him and nodded in earnest now, “I am aware.” “Be careful with it?” it sounded more flirtatious than she had intended. But it was immediately rewarded with a lopsided smile of his and his heartfelt word. “I promise that you will not regret having put your trust in me…”

2.  

When the front door swung open, it revealed a very happy birthday boy. Benedict was obviously in tremendous good spirits and cheerfully he guided his guests into his home. As they exchanged pleasantries, he watched his friend guide his ‘plus one’ for the evening inside. And it occured to him then and there that it really was a delightful thing to see.

Tom had run this particular idea past Benedict earlier that day. He’d mentioned having spent the previous night out and about with Charlotte and just felt like maybe, surely, it would a fitting thing to invite her to this little get-together. ‘So she could spend an evening in pleasant company rather than in a lonely hotel room. You know just to reciprocate that informal BBQ-event from earlier that month’. However, Tom was not the one throwing the party.

It had taken Benedict no consideration at all to agree with Tom’s idea. Finally, he teased, you’re bringing a ‘plus one’ for a change… Tom had chuckled and rolled his eyes at this. ‘No, no, none of that. She’s pleasant company, it’s the right thing to do and that was that.’

But, in secret, he did look forward to spending some more time with her. Her and her warm laugh, her perceptive humour and quick wit. He wanted to know how her lecture had been, had it been well received? Was she happy about her day, what were her further plans, what was that book again she’d labelled a must-read for him the previous night… He felt as though there were more questions to ask, more stories to be shared. All purely platonic of course.

Tom still kicked himself a bit for having acted so forward earlier that month. And he was quite hesitant about meeting her again in the Theatre the night before. All ‘should he or shouldn’t he’. Should he ignore that anything had ever happened between them earlier on, or should he offer - another - apology about it? All this apprehension on his part had instantly vanished though the moment he’d set his eyes on her again in the Theatre yesterday. It had been lovely to see her again, to talk to her again. And he quickly concluded that the past was merely water under the bridge. She didn’t seem to be hung-up on it. So neither should he. He was only hung up on her. But… pure platonically. Of course.

Because Tom was far too rational to believe in silly, trivial things such as love at first sight. His mind didn’t deem it possible. You just cànnot fall in love with someone you don’t know. However he did accept there was something like ‘lust at first sight’. And that had to be what it was. It was the only explanation for what had occurred twelve days ago. That and alcohol. After all, the facts were the facts. He’d spend weeks on end travelling around the globe, suffering jet lag after jet lag, answering all the same questions all over again. (Although creatively repackaged by every single interviewer or talk show host, bless them.)

And while it was unquestionably exciting to launch the new movie, beyond pleasing to finally be able to reward all fans for their relentless support and anxiously await their reactions, at the end of the day - in whatever time zone he was residing-  Tom was exhausted, lonesome and yearning for home, his home, his dog, his family. Full stop.

That night at ComiCon was the early prelude to his 8 week-hiatus. He’d let go of everything and was enchanted with conversations that for once did not centre around his work. He might have had a gin tonic too many, that was true. But he did enjoy the fact his mind was allowed to roam free for a while. Charlotte had asked the right questions, said the right things, she was a breath of fresh air and he –foolishly- took it.

Tom snapped out of his thoughts when he’d heard Benedict mentioning his wife Sophie was just putting their 2 children to bed. A pang of remorse went through him; there was an anecdote he had promised to share with them that evening and now it was too late. His remorse must have been showing, because Benedict was quick to suggest Tom could – if he wanted to - just run up very-very quickly to say goodnight and share whatever his kids had been going on and on about that afternoon. ‘Just don’t wind them up too much‘, Benedict warned in a true paternal style.

Though relieved, Tom’s attention momentarily drifted back to Charlotte. He couldn’t just leave her there all alone, now could he? That would be bad form on him towards his ‘plus one’. But Benedict – bless his heart – had already quipped that he would make sure to introduce Charlotte to the rest of the group in the meantime. He’d offered her his arm, which she did not hesitate to accept, and with a soft chuckle Charlotte urged Tom to go ahead and visit the children before Benedict galantly led her the way to the garden.

3. The sight immediately took Charlotte’s breath away. The heat in London was unbearable. Even at night the temperatures hardly dropped. The sight of a peaceful garden party under a canopy of trees brought joy to her heart. Forget that bath and that book. Air-conditioning or not. Here a person could breathe and come back to earth again…

The guests consisted of a small group of people, mostly Benedict’s closest friends from college days. And as promised, Charlotte was kindly introduced to the group, who was very welcoming towards her. She was seated on a picnic bench at a picture perfect table. A genuine and spontaneous debate ensued when Charlotte answered toward the reason of her stay in the city. Frankly, she’d gotten quite used to the level of controversy end of life-matters created and she readily met all opinions that bounced onto her - both pro and contra her reasoning - with diplomacy, tact and humour.

She wasn’t aware of Tom’s return until she felt his hand softly resting against her shoulder blade. “I see you’re blending in well,” he whispered softly as he took the seat to her side. “Kids went too sleep alright?” Benedict queried as he sweetly placed a kiss on his wife’s lips as she momentarily rested against the armrest of his chair. “Perfect,” Sophie replied, “Uncle Tom apparently reads the best bedtime-stories,” “I made a promise,” a timid laugh on his behalf, “and I don’t like to break my promises.” “Hmm, I’m amazed no one has made you a godfather yet,” Benedict’s wife pondered quietly. “Well, maybe now’s a better time than ever?” Benedict chuckled as he placed his hand on his wife’s stomach, “after this perfect birthday present ever.”

The table went dead quiet as the news of the pregnancy slowly sank in. If Charlotte hadn’t felt out of place before, she sure felt like it now. Within seconds congratulations were up in the air, friends kissed and hugged the expecting couple while a very confused yet proud Tom solemnly swore to take his duty as godfather very seriously.

Charlotte evidently made a point of congratulating both parents before turning to her side to extend her heartfelt wishes to a visibly affected Tom. Without thinking she enthusiastically planted a sweet kiss onto his cheek. She was the first and only one who did. It flattered him. It graced her.

The announcement was the joyous prelude of what turned out to be an easy-going and quite entertaining evening. Charlotte was delighted at how the friendliness of the company quickly enclosed her, how they were mindful of her in conversations and elaborated on some background details so she would be able to follow. Her eyes had darted from the group of friends to Tom on occasion. She particularly enjoyed how at times his words could make her feel as though she was the only one he was talking to.

She was introduced to some silly British party games and laughed profusely when the moment came for the real birthday celebration. Tom kindly narrated the usual order of their silly ritual and Charlotte rested her hand on his arm when she was stuck in a fit of giggles because of it.

Tom was thoughtful and attentive. At the slightest shiver he had draped his jacket over her shoulders before he offered to fetch the pashmina she’d left in his car.

Their interaction had a familiar feel to it. It just … worked. If she would have to put it into words, she would probably confess that he made her feel welcome and appreciated. She honestly never would have put any more rational thought into it. That is until Benedict’s wife struck up a conversation with her while Tom had sauntered off in search of Charlotte’s scarf.

The brunette leaned in a bit closer from across the table and exchanged a kind smile with Charlotte. “I see Tom’s taking good care of you,”

Linguistically it was a simple observation, but everybody knows that in between women a lot can be said through simple observations. Perhaps even more than we hold dearly. “Yes, he’s very considerate,” Charlotte agreed, after all it was true. “How long have you two been seeing each other?”

A loud cackle escaped from Charlotte’s throat. She wasn’t even aware she could cackle. She feverishly giggled the comment away, and hoped she didn’t turn beet red in the process. “No, no,” she shook her head, “believe me, no dates here… I’m just a ‘plus one’ for the evening – a pity invite if you will.”

But the expecting brunette simply smiled encouragingly under a knowing nod and continued as if Charlotte had never protested against her question. “Men like these are hard to come by…”

It was a beautiful and very fitting compliment towards Tom. He earned all credit in that department. He was handsome but not the in-your-face kind of way, he was attentive but also deliciously masculine. He was intelligent and hilariously funny when he wanted to be. And, though tipsy, he had proven to being a great kisser… Ok, ok, so he would be a catch. But Charlotte wasn’t really looking for anything. Right? Right.

”Believe me, Charlotte,” she nudged, “I know.” She caught Sophie secretively and not so secretively rewarding her doting husband with a wink. A testament of a deep and true love, it warmed Charlotte’s heart.

4.

If she had to be honest, Sophie’s words did resonate with her. Charlotte excused herself to go to the restroom, while in fact she just wanted to get away from the conversation. She let the cold water run over her wrists, checked her make-up in the mirror and sighed. Charlotte had wanted to blame the alcohol for giving someone courage to blurt out such a fictitious statement, but Sophie was undeniable sober because hello - pregnant?

Charlotte’s inner control freak had allowed her only one glass of champagne so she was indisputably lucid enough to see things for what they were. Her tireless mind kindly reminded her Tom hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol since his first and only glass of champagne, being the designated driver and all.

As Charlotte’s mind quickly recapped it concluded that Tom was just being charming and chivalrous. So definitely-maybe pregnancy hormones were plaguing Sophie. And possibly she was just joking, after all how good did Charlotte really know her?

But more, much more than this Charlotte was astonished why she was even given this silly remark so much thought. Why was she getting worked up over this? After all, she was going home the following day. She would never see Tom - or anyone else for that matter - again after this evening. As the realisation hit, her stomach dropped a bit.

Charlotte scolded herself and commanded herself to stop being so pubertal about it. Still deep in thought she strolled back out onto the patio, taking a moment to admire the scenery. A couple of women sat chatting at the table, in the backyard a small group of friends were quarrelling over a game of Kubb. It really was a lovely evening, she mused, and she owed it to herself to enjoy it more profusely.

"Hi,” his accustomed voice rang into her ear. With a smile Charlotte greeted Tom as he walked out of the house himself, “hi.” “Found it,” he held up her pashmina proudly as he walked up to her. He was tall; it made her thankful she’d opted to wear a reasonable height in pumps… “You look good,” Charlotte pondered.

Shit. Was that out loud?

“Better rested, I mean. You look… better rested.” Charlotte hastened to add and stumbled over her words. She laughed and shook her head; her hand carefully rubbing her forehead in the process, “oh I’m tripping over my words tonight, aren’t I?” “You’re tired,” Tom concluded amused. “I am,” she agreed, “I think I have more understanding for you and your travelling ways now. It seems so glamorous from afar, but …” “It does get under your skin, doesn’t it?” She nodded with a smile, “hmm.” “Allow me,” he offered. And though Charlotte chuckled and mentioned it was fine, Tom remained adamant in his intent to drape the refined accessory over her shoulders.

Perfect gentleman, see Sophie? A mere perfect gentleman.

“I can’t get over how beautiful this place is,” Charlotte mentioned while he dutifully unfolded the silky scarf, “such a quiet green oasis in the midst of the madness.”

“Mmm, it’s quite something, isn’t it? Sophie really has a knack for design and decorating… ” he added while frowning over which side was in and wish side was out.

“Thanks for bringing me here,” Charlotte smiled at the sight of Tom stubbornly struggling along, “that was very considerate of you. Thank you.” A humorous sigh escaped Charlotte’s lips and she shook her head in comical despair  “I keep repeating myself.”

“You do,” he answered softly, locking his eyes with hers momentarily, “but I don’t mind repeating you’re very welcome.”

He turned the pashmina in his hands around proudly, “I think I’ve got in now…” and with that draped it around her and over her shoulders.

Charlotte enjoyed the languid rhythm of their conversation. It contrasted so marvellously towards the hectic day that had left her drained. And the entertaining festivities in the evening had allowed her to release all the built-up adrenaline. Fatigue fell over her like a soft blanket and she supressed a yawn but held a chuckle when she saw him bunching up the material as he tried out some type of elegant knot. Her hands clasped over his, “no, no, not like that, no knots…”

“Christ I’m helpless at this, I’m afraid,” he admitted with a sigh as his eyes briefly locked with hers. “But such a beautiful summer night, isn’t it? Festivities, music in the air,"  he continued and gestured towards her, "pleasant company, …”

Charlotte’s mind short circuited for a moment when she caught him looking at her again. With sympathy. His look was honest and warm, his eyes mesmerizingly blue. She saw his tongue quickly dart over his lips as he breathed in, ready to speak on.

And though her heart thundered in her chest, she didn’t feel any warmer. Not one bit. Quite the contrary. An observable shiver ran across her spine.

“Are you all right darling? Are you cold, still?” Tom questioned apprehensively.

Charlotte - grateful for the diversion that allowed her to tear her eyes away from Tom at long last - shook her head, hoping it would chase away this sudden cloud of confusion that had started to enclose her. She pulled the pashmina higher and tighter over her shoulders, wishing she could curl up and hide in it altogether.

“No, just tired. I get cold when I’m tired,” she tilted her head, “It’s erm – it’s been a long day.”

“Oh! Right,” he remembered, his right hand flying to his head at his silly neglect.

“And I have a breakfast meeting tomorrow, …”

“Surely, no talks about death over breakfast already?”

“Well... yes. Basically,” Charlotte smiled apprehensively, “we’re a fun group, I tell you.”

“Shall I take you back to your hotel?” he voiced his concern.

“No, no, I don’t want to impose, I could get a taxi just as well…”

“I’ll have none of that,”

“I know, but I’m fine.”

“Even if you did - and you are most definitely not -” he interrupted her kindly, “I’d happy to oblige nonetheless. C’mon, let’s go.” And with that he ran his warm hand up and down her spine reassuringly, an effort to bring her warmth... but Charlotte only shivered once more.

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x ofc #simple-things

[mysticsparklewings]

The Realm of Gouache

I did it! I finally got that gouache set I'd been eyeing down the way my cats watch their food containers!   The gouache I'm referring to is this Miya/Himi Gouache set of 18 for anyone who's curious. It seems to have sort of taken the art community corner of Youtube by storm lately, and that combined with the way the set is designed, I've been really wanting to try gouache lately anyway, and it's pretty reasonably priced at around $20, depending on where you get it, it seemed like a good place to start with the medium. Gouache, to those that might not know, is a cousin to watercolor. (Well, traditional gouache is, anyway. There's also acrylic gouache, which is a closer cousin to acrylic paint, but that's a discussion for another day; I'm focusing on the typical kind of gouache here) It's made with the same binding agent--water-soluble gum arabic--but usually it's processed differently. Most companies use more pigment (the substance that gives any paint its color) and larger particles of it in their gouache compared to what you would find in watercolor, and there's usually some additional chalk-like additive to make the paint more opaque than watercolor. You'll sometimes even see gouache referred to as "opaque watercolor." For the same reasons, gouache is usually more expensive than watercolor or acrylics and while with a little patience you can make it into cakes/pans, it normally works much better fresh from the tube, and so it's much more often sold in tubes. What does all that mean, though? Well, gouache paint is more opaque and less transparent than watercolors without much water, giving it the color and covering power one might expect more from acrylic paints. But you can reactivate gouache with water, so you can also water it down and use it more like watercolors if you want to, and when you start layering it you can reactivate the layers underneath to aid with blending, which in my opinion is a trait that reminds me a little of how oil paints are praised for their slow-drying, "superior" blending capabilities. Based on that, personally, I continue to be surprised how little-known and how much of a niche painting option gouache seems to be. The only real "culprit" to me for why that is is the usually higher price tag, but even then...I don't know, it still doesn't make sense to me. The qualities it has that put it somewhere between acrylics and watercolors just make it seem like a really good beginner's choice to me, since you can learn some techniques for both and then if you branch out to one of the other two, it might make the transition easier. But I digress; we can debate on the finer points of gouache's place in the art world some other time. This was my first time using gouache at all, so I can't really give a proper review on this specific set of gouache (as I have nothing else to compare it to and I have no experience with the medium; it just wouldn't be fair), but I can give my thoughts on working with gouache in general and give a first-timer's perspective on it. Although I do have to say I found it interesting that there is pigment information available for the set online, even though the actual set doesn't have the pigment information or color names printed anywhere. (At least not in English.) Most lower/student-grade art supplies don't list that information anywhere. This specific set of gouache also stands out because the gouache isn't in tubes, but rather in little 30ml. cups that look like tiny jello or pudding containers. These cups all have their own slot in a very sturdy plastic case with a lid that snaps shut on both sides and a mixing plate that fits inside the lid. And I cannot stress enough that when this thing is listed as being about 2.5 lbs, they're not kidding! I was surprised by how heavy it actually was when it came in the mail, and after taking all the gouache cups out so I could peel off the little foil seals (most of which did try to take some paint with them, but I saved them short-term to try and make use of as much of it as possible before chucking them in the trash), I can confirm that most of the weight is coming from the paint itself. And it's really nice actually since most paint sets that come with a lot of individual containers of colors (usually tubes), the standard size is anywhere between 5 and 22 ml. By comparison, 30ml. seems pretty generous. The color choices in the set are pretty interesting, but also pretty well-rounded for a smaller, possibly more beginner-oriented set. You get both a warm and cool of the primaries (red, yellow, blue), a black, two whites (which we're going to talk about more in a moment), some earth tones in the form of a darker brown, a rust color, and an ochre color, and some "convenience" colors including a purple, magenta/hot pink/rose color, a teal, and some greens. Now about those whites... I'll try and spare you the nitty-gritty details of pigments and their uses, but in general most well-versed paint companies have more than one type of white paint on offer, and not all white paints and/or pigments are equal. Usually, you'll find a "Titanium White" and some other variation of White, possibly a "Zinc" or "Chinese" white. Normally, Titanium White is a specific pigment that's different from the other whites, but that same pigment can be processed differently in order to look and function more like the other white pigments (and other white pigments don't always have to be listed if they've been added to it). This matters because "Titanium White" is the most common type of white, and it's meant to be used primarily as white by itself because of its specific traits. The other whites are usually more transparent and work better for mixing with other colors. This is most likely why this set and others you'll find come with two whites; in this case, one specifically labeled as "Titanium White" and the other as just "White." One so you have a white color, and one for mixing. (Don't you just love how amazingly confusing pigment information can make things! ) This is fine and actually preferable to me, as it keeps you from using twice as much of just one white, so hopefully, you won't go through it quite so fast. The only problem I have with this is that I feel like my two whites might've gotten switched at some point since so far my "Titanium White" seems to act more like a white for mixing, and my "White" seems to act more like a traditional Titanium White. I did take all of the paint cups out at one point so I could open them and put them back in the palette/container, but I tried to make specifically sure I didn't get any of the colors mixed up. Still, accidents happen, and it could be they were switched before my set even arrived to me, if they are indeed switched. I intend to do some more testing to try and make sure if that's what happened or if it's some kind of user-error in using them. Anyway. After I did my swatching and a tiny bit of extra swatching/playing to get a taste of how the gouache worked beyond what my research beforehand had told me, it was time to play with it in a more proper art setting. I had a piece of Canson XL watercolor paper leftover from another project that I sliced in half to make it a more manageable size, and I used a circular cardstock insert that I saved from a roll of tape to give me a nice large circle to work with. I figured a planet out in space would provide a good opportunity to play with gouache's more watercolor-like properties and it's more opaque unique properties. And plus a cursory Pinterest search told me that when you're making fictional planets there's not much in the way of right or wrong, which was comforting since I barely knew what I was doing. So I masked off the circle and started out with a couple of coats of the beautiful Prussian Blue from the set (seriously, I don't know why but I was really enamored with this color) and varying amounts of water to do the sky. I had already found out that while you technically can use gouache without water, it feels a lot better to me if you add just a little to make it flow and spread more readily, and this was no different. I'm just not an expert yet at getting just enough to smooth it out without also thinning out the color.  Still, I actually really like this stroked look for this piece, which is why I didn't try harder to layer it up to make it more solid. And I wish I could describe my process for the planet itself just as concisely, but I really just started going in with the colors I liked the most from the set--Ultramarine, Violet, Rose, Jade Green--and layering up thinner washes of color a little at a time in lines and curves to try and get a visual texture that makes sense for a planet. The most issues I had here were really my fault and not the paints', as I was trying to any color mixing pretty straight-on the paper and I had a tendency to put some color down and try a little too hard to blend it out, to the point it was just kinda mixed into what was already there. And I will note here that it seemed like the less watered-down the gouache was, the more quickly it dried. and the more water was added to it, it dried very noticeably more slowly. Now to be fair, that's usually how paint works anyway, but it just felt a lot more noticeable here for some reason. It could've been the paper, or the paint, or just me, or a combination of all of those things. I'm not sure. At that point it was getting late, I was getting tired, and I felt like the painting could probably benefit from being left to dry overnight before I played with it anymore. The next day I came back to it, starting with some spots of white since one of my whites did have a tiny circle in it where some of the binder had separated from the paint and it was bothering my brain to leave it unmixed, which naturally ended up in me having some white paint loaded on to my brush to use. I don't count that against the paint though since even some professional quality paints can settle out from the binder, especially if it's been sitting unused for a while. Usually, you just have to mix it back in and it's fine. The white was a wee bit too intense just sitting on top, so then I went back it with a little here and a little there of the colors I'd been using before and tried to fade out a bit of a curve shadow with the Prussian Blue. I even went as far as to try using a different, flat, brush and blending it a little bit differently, which created this effect that kind of reminds me of a waterfall in some areas. Then was that was dry, I decided that the planet itself was pretty much done. Which meant there was one more thing I needed to try... I masked off the circle again and went back to the "titanium white" and a little water, and starting tapping my brush against another brush to make splatter-stars. I was actually kind of surprised by how well this worked since I usually use my white ink, which seems to spend all of its usable splatters a lot faster than the gouache did. (For instance, I could usually get about 3 taps out of the ink before I'd have to dip back into it; the gouache I was able to get about 5+ good taps per dip.) And fortunately getting the water-to-gouache balance wasn't as hard as I thought it would be for effective splattering, and I managed to not get too much any one time so I didn't have any notable spots or problems from that. I did, of course, go back and add a few extra star details with my white gel pens, but that's standard practice even when I use the white ink. It may not be the most complex or thorough usage of the gouache, but for a first attempt, I felt pretty content with how it came out and to what ends I'd explored the properties of the gouache. That said, anyone who knows me knows I already have plans bubbling for some more involved tests/projects involving the gouache.  Some of which I even decided on before the gouache got here in the mail. But either way, so far I really like the gouache and I'm looking forward to playing with it more and really seeing what it can do. Thanks to watercolors and alcohol markers, I've gotten pretty used to working from light to dark, but it is really nice to be able to add light back in a lot more easily if you need to. And I really love that the gouache reactivates the way that it does; Usually, I can get my watercolors to reactivate but I have to be exceedingly careful to keep from getting back runs or waterlines. I didn't seem to have that problem here at all, so I'm hoping this means I'll have an easier time trying to blend certain things when using gouache as opposed to watercolor going forward. Time will tell, I suppose. Now if you'll excuse me, Inktober is upon us and I have work to do! ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[saidbyes-blog]

( FRIEND OF GRANT'S ) ebony harrison ( 24 / she/they ): demigirl & friends who seemingly clicked despite emotional distance, and acquaintance of mallory's. ( nina nesbitt ) ( PACE / 20+ / SHE/HER )

hello ! so, i’m typing this up straight after acceptance ( lmao, talk about eager ) so hopefully anything i inevitably forget, i can add between now and when this’ll actually be posted, so you actually have some decent info to work with ! but i’m pace ( which is obviously an alias but,,,, pls just call me pace ! ) and my pronouns are she/her ! and moving on to the one you actually wanna know about... 

—– ❀ okay, so !! as you can see above, ebony is a friend of grant’s ! on the surface, they seem to just ‘get’ eachother, but of course ebony is completely oblivious to who he really is and what he’s capable of. however, because ebony isn’t the most open and uhh,,, Not-Closed-Off as people, it kind of works ? in a,,,, neither of them ask too many questions kind of way ? it’s mutual, y’know ?she kind of sees him as a guy who’s Not Like The Other Guys ( while lowkey a voice in the back of her head is like ALL GUYS ARE LIKE THE OTHER GUYS ) and they just seem to Understand eachother. but ebony can be a sceptical little fuck, and she’s generally just Wary in general sometimes, but she also wants to believe that some people are good and their intentions are as they seem and it’s Pure. even if she EVER got creepy vibes from grant, she’d either be like CREEP EVIL NASTY BYE SEE YA or convince herself she’s making it up because of relationships with people in the past. but ofc, the worst part is that he’s never given her any reason to think grant is anything but just a nice, charming guy who’s maybe a little pretentious and quiet but that’s basically the worst thing about him, and if it were to happen now, she’s in too deep for it to be a red flag. yoikes. but we all know that to everyone else he just looks like a,,, Nice Guy. either way, he’s a friend, and their lack of actually being as close as they may seem isn’t that weird for her ( which i shall explain in a different bullet point bc this is long ! )

—– ❀ she isn’t a complete plum, and won’t turn a blind eye forever, but in the recent months/so far, she’s come to grant’s defence, thinking that anybody who’s pointed the finger at him is a) unoriginal and b) has clearly never met him. she thinks it’s cruel and unnecessary. like, her pov is that he lost his girlfriend, who told the story of what happened/was going to happen to her, and it’s as simple as that, in a ‘why would mallory write about that otherwise’ kind of way. she’s applying logic to it and i’m like oh,,, honey,,, you sweet summer child,,, plus, grant’s manipulative ass is looking all kinds of charming and innocent and whatever. HOWEVER, things slowly unfolding and eventually ebony beginning to question things ! yes pls ! internal conflict !

—– ❀ however, ebony also briefly vaguely knew mallory ! she attended a few of her yoga classes ages ago, and it’s a complete coincidence that ebony knew the both of them. if/when grant ever mentioned mallory to ebony, the name wouldn’t have clicked, and since she never met her outside of the classes, it took her a while to click why mallory looked so familiar when everything blew up after her death. it kind of weirds her out that someone she knew was murdered, and that it never clicked that Grant’s Girlfriend was the one who taught those yoga classes, but it’s just a complete coincidence ! 

—– ❀ TW FOR ABUSE MENTION: ebony hasn’t read the book, and doesn’t plan on it. she might one day if she’s feeling impulsive and self destructive, but because of the subject matter, she’s avoiding it. it had nothing to do with being grant’s friend ( even though most people would probably question if it’s the Moral and Ethical thing to do, that doesn’t even cross her mind -- she’s not the most moral of people tbh ) and has more to do with the fact that she’s been in an abusive relationship in the past, herself, and she’s just like............nope. ( / end of tw ! )

—– ❀ she didn’t grow up in new york, and has only called it home for for a few years. but she also travels a lot, and is very flaky, and can disappear for periods of time just to show up announced a few weeks later. it’s not weird for her to drop off the grid for a bit ( sounds safe, ebs ) and it’s not weird for her to ditch social circles and local hangouts in general and just ghost, and she’s also lived in several different states across the country. she cannot commit to anything ever, including places. it’s actually odd that she’s been in new york for so long, but she loves the energy and the spirit of the city. and it’s massive so if she tires of a certain spot, she can drift elsewhere ! plus.........plot convenience. 

—– ❀ sometimes she might feel a little out of place tbh ! she’s not an academic and she definitely didn’t come from money, and doesn’t have an abundance of it now, either. she’s a bartender, as that’s always her job when i play her lmao, but i might give her another too but i’m still flipping back and forth so..... tbd !

—– ❀ TW FOR DEATH: a bit of background: she was born in california to amelia robinson & david harrison, a young couple who hadn’t been together all that long when they found out they were expecting, but were madly in love nonetheless. david was completely devoted to his daughter, but he sadly died when she was seven. after his death, some hard truths to swallow came out about him, and her already distraught mother was even more heartbroken. life was pretty rough after his death and her mother couldn’t really cope anymore and became someone that ebs ended up not really recognising, and she became kind of cruel. she’s since forgiven her mother for who she became and therefore how she then treated her daughter, but they’re not close. ebony left cali for a few years after turning seventeen, and when she returned at twenty, she found her father’s broken watch, which she sometimes still wears now. it looks out of place on her thin wrist, especially since the damn thing doesn’t work, but she likes it nonetheless and refuses to get it fixed. in ways like that, she can be,,, a little pretentious ( again, why her friendship with grant works ) and while we’re on the subject of that..... ( / tw ends ! )

—– ❀ her personality is a little messy. she can be very........difficult ? especially as a friend ? though she’s kind-hearted and forgiving and can be very gentle, she’s also temperamental and vague and selfish. she doesn’t mean to be selfish, but she just is. it’s,,, probably infuriating to some people ? as well as the fact that she’s very easily misunderstood due to being hard to understand. yet she also doesn’t like people making the effort to try and understand. yet also wants someone in her life who does understand her. like.........she wants something, but won’t let anybody make the steps to get the thing she wants ? like.............jfc, ebs. she also cannot deal with anything, and it’s not uncommon for somebody to think that everything is going fine and they’re getting on with her great, but then shit hits the fan and the real things happen and she’s like !!! bye !!! so, again, she’s a bit of a flight risk right now. bc like...... well, a murder’s a pretty big thing, my dudes. but also, in her mind, one of her friends is going through some Big Stuff what with his girlfriend being “murdered by her ex” so although most people would be like “gosh golly i should be there for him” there’s a part of ebony that’s like “cannot............deal...............want.......................to yeet.........” but because it’s his Trauma to deal with, it’s easier for her to stay. for example, if something happened between herself and grant that was mutual ( no matter what it was ) that caused angst, that’d be more of a reason for her to Yeet because it directly effects her ? if that at all makes sense ?

—– ❀ quick thing about gender and pronouns !! gender is messy and complicated ( to her ) and she accepted that long ago, but she identifies as a demigirl. her pronouns are she/her, HOWEVER she really appreciates when people use they/them when she hasn’t explicitly stated her pronouns to somebody. she just ,,, thinks it’s the respectful thing to do, but it also makes her feel Valid. she mostly identifies with the gender she was assigned at birth, and tends to present very femininely, but that doesn’t make her any less nb, y’know ? and she doesn’t like people,,, forgetting that she’s Not A Woman ? a lot of the time she’s worried people won’t see her as being nb and even her nb friends she’s sometimes convinced will just forget she’s Not A Woman ?? however, she’s okay with sometimes being referred to as a girl, but always on her own terms. like.......her mobile header literally says ‘sad girls club’ but like..... on her own terms, y’know ? so tldr: if we could pls refrain from referring to her as like ‘the woman’ or ‘the girl’ in threads, that’d be greatly appreciated !

—– ❀ some extras if you want to see/read more about the goblin: stats, playlist, pinterest, aesthetic, old drabbles*, old about/drabble. she doesn’t have a full bio, as the last one i wrote ended up being over 7k words and honestly.........who has the time

* if you click this one, please be aware that trigger warnings apply for abuse, as well as vague/tiny mentions of pregnancy.

extra connections !!! if u want !!!! idk !!!

—– ❀ friends from out of town ! if anybody is from anywhere else in the u.s outside of ny, or they spent a lot of time somewhere else, they totally could’ve known eachother a few years ago. bc ebony has lived in several different places, i can probably wiggle things around and make it work no matter what state they’ve lived in !

—– ❀ friends ! as you might’ve gathered from the rest of the intro, ebony can be a little Difficult, but she’s still kind at heart, and can be soft, and thoughtful ! so, friends that have no problem with her, friends who call her out on her bullshit, friends who she’s ditched in the past, friends she parties with, friends who have tried to Fix her, friends she trusts more than most, etc etc ! as the great sutton foster once said, anything goes !

—– ❀ fwb/hook-ups/flings/exes ! whether they’re things of the past or kind of ongoing, it’s pretty open ! ebony likes people of any and all genders, and ( not dissimilar to mallory, actually ! ) has no problems spreading her love around. which is basically the beating-around-the-bush way of saying she has a lot of sex with a lot of people, and i support her ( ... eh, when it’s healthy ) but one night stands, friends that have no problem keeping things causal, people she dated for a while, something that started casual but Feelings happened and it’s messy, all kinds of stuff is good to go !

—– ❀ people who were also in the yoga classes mallory taught at the time ! it would’ve been a while ago but if the Yoga Peoples would’ve been there back in the day too then perfect !

—– ❀ grant’s other friends ! people who met through grant ! we all have that friend we met through a mutual murderer, right ? or someone who eb met through grant and they can’t fucking stand eachother ? someone she met through grant but then shagged and now it’s awkward ? people who were actually friends with eachother first and one of them introduced grant to the other ? people who she only met at mallory’s funeral bc they were both there to support their murderous pal ? having the two of ‘em meet unrelated and then find out casually like oh shit u know my good bitch grant ? wild ! all kinds of shit !

—– ❀ roommates ! what are the realistic chances of a group of roomies all knowing either the gal who got murdered or her boyfriend ? slim as fuck but plot convenience !! maybe two or three roomies ? ny’s expensive and ebony isn’t a rich gal !

—– ❀ tbh though i also really love just.......... throwing the characters into a situation and seeing how things go, and having people meet for the first time and stuff, but i also love pre-plotted and intenser stuff, and messy/complicated plots work really well with eb ! i love all kinds of things, i’m down for w/e. while we’re on connections though, i tend to suck with plotting and i’m sometimes a little slow with ims, but i just want to make that Known so it’s not taken personally or anybody thinks i’m not interested anymore or anything ! i’m definitely replying, i promise !

okay so if you read all of this, you’re a saint and greatly appreciated ! apologies for the rambling ! feel free to drop by if you’d like to plot or anything like that ! ps. pls enjoy the fact that i scheduled this while watching the ted bundy thing on netflix, bc it tickled me. bit too fitting huh lads. 

#minehqintro #❀ — ʜᴏᴡ ɢᴏᴅᴅᴀᴍɴ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ɪ ᴀᴍ ﹙ooc.﹚ #so fun fact i had this scheduled bc i was p sure i wasn't gonna be around #and yet.......here i am...... #available for posting in Real Time #HELLOOOO

[girlaboutcampus]

How I optimised my social media for my mental health

cw: this blog post contains references to food, fitness and dieting culture. 

A few years ago I was working for a chain bookstore over the festive period, mostly on the tills serving customers and occasionally dealing with enquiries and shelving. There was blissfully minimal phone answering too. Bookshops tend to stay pretty busy after Christmas with sales, folks coming in to buy something to read in their remaining time off and to buy dieting books. When I clocked in to take my shift on Boxing Day, there had already been a table of dieting and fitness bibles set up, all on two-for-one deals. Whilst I’m sure this table was set up on corporate instruction, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Bookshops are by no means safe spaces- they’re a place you should go to look for material that challenges and stretches your beliefs, as well as things to help you relax.  However, I don’t think they’re a place you go to be judged for your lifestyle, especially if you’re just on the way up to grab a muffin and latte with friends in the cafe. In many ways, this is the experience of being on social media in microcosm.

This summer, I had a bit of a meltdown, which I’ve talked about a little before. Without university to occupy me, I became obsessed with going to the gym. When I didn’t see results as quickly as I had in the past, I started to hyperfocus on my appearance and weight. It quickly became clear that I’d got myself into a dark place, so I started going to see one of the counsellors at my university (which is an enormous privilege you should make the most of if you also have access to it). It became clear to me, in talking to my counsellor, that a lot of my problem was down to the space I had curated for myself on social media. The fitness board I maintained on Pinterest meant that the algorithm was constantly generating unattainable bodies, diet foods and problematic motivational statements. From following some of my younger brother’s school friends on Instagram, I began to feel bad about not having the body shape of a teenager anymore. I decided to clear a whole day to go through all my social media and make it as much of a hospitable space for my mental health as possible. I should be clear at this point that this might not necessarily work for you, though I found it to be incredibly helpful. I’m sharing in the hope that it might make a little difference for someone else. I’ll start with the easier social networks and work my way up to the big guns. 

Facebook

This one might be more difficult for you depending on how much use you get out of Facebook. Personally, I use it mostly for keeping up with events, messaging friends and updating family members. One thing you can do if you only use it for the latter two is delete the Facebook app and just keep Messenger, that way you have to be on an actual computer to check facebook. If you don’t want to delete the app, then start to take advantage of the mute button. You can go through the hassle of sitting going through your whole friend list, removing people you no longer talk to, see, or are interested in keeping up with (you can let go of some people from school at this point, face it). However, I find that the experience of unfriending people can actually make me feel more anxious. 

The best thing I do- and this one isn’t something you can necessarily do in one day- is mute or unfriend as I scroll down my feed. If someone I once met in a job I had four years ago starts posting offensive and ill-informed political memes to my feed, that’s their time to go. If a friend’s mum posts a lot of things about her New Year’s diet, she’s going to get muted for the time being. If a friend posts a photo of her super cute baby, that’s getting a big heart react- give me more of that good shit. A big part of all of this stuff is trying to train your algorithm to show you the stuff you want, even if it fights back. 

Twitter

First huge bit of advice- block all the bigoted reactionaries. That’s your Piers Morgans, Katie Hopkinses, Julia Hartley-Brewerses and that girl who worships guns. This isn’t me openly advocating shutting yourself out of political discourse, or creating some kind of political echo chamber for yourself.  It’s just starving people who thrive on outrage of the attention they crave. I don’t care if you have a witty rebuttal. They don’t deserve your attention, views or clicks. Try to find professional journalists, politicians, and pundits whose expertise you can trust and who conduct themselves ethically and responsibly, rather than trying to just get clicks for their work. Also, read whole articles and think pieces rather than just the headlines. Headlines are often written to stir up outrage over something that just isn’t outrageous.

 Find tweeters who make you laugh, make good art and whose voices you’d like to amplify. 

Instagram (and Tumblr) 

Now we’re getting into the heavy lifters. It seems to me that the more image-dense the platform, the worse it can be for your mental health, especially if your mental health is tied up in your body image. Instagram and Tumblr might be the platforms to be most cutthroat with. What you decide to do with this one is really deeply personal, but I would suggest going with your gut and unfollowing and muting anything that makes you feel less than, no matter how nice the person running it seems. My first call was to unfollow more or less everyone who’s ever breathed in the general vicinity of a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. A lot of these models seem to be lovely women, but their lifestyles and bodies are the definitions of unattainable. The one exception I make to this rule is Chrissy Teigen because her content is all about earnestly enjoying food, family and travel. Plus, she doesn’t take herself too seriously. Instagram also has a useful feature that allows you to mute stories, posts or both at your own discretion. That way if there’s someone you follow who posts great travel photos but is always talking about weight loss in their stories, you can filter out that content and keep what you like. I found that, personally, having fewer bodies in my line of sight is for the best. I like to maximise the presence of delicious food, cute animals and uplifting messages I follow. Here are some favourites:

Nigella Lawson

Shila and Eddie the Pomeranians

withlovelinh

Hannah Witton

Demi Adejuyigbe

Pinterest

This is the daddy of all the image-based platforms. Whilst probably the least popular of all the platforms listed here, it probably has the most potential to do harm. Don’t get me wrong, I love Pinterest. It is one of the most easily spaces online and the fact that it is image focused means that there is very little text involved, so it’s an ocean of calm compared to a platform like Twitter. However, it also has what might possibly be the most reactive algorithm of any platform. This is broadly a helpful tool, allowing you to locate the exact material you’re looking for, but it can really double down on any harmful material you put into it. It’s the internet’s worst enabler. In this sense, spring cleaning it is work. I got rid of my fitspo board and replaced it with one more focused on self-care. This didn’t mean getting rid of all my fitness-focused stuff- I still pin specific exercise routines- but I don’t pin #bodygoals stuff now.  A very important part of changing this is being conscientious of what I am choosing to repin. Specifically, I have to ask myself 

“Do I really like this hair/ makeup/ clothing, or do I just want to look like the model?”

If the answer is no, I will ask Pinterest to remove it from my feed. Pinterest also has a zero-tolerance policy for content that encourages eating disorders and self-harm so you can report anything like that. Whilst Pinterest will continue to show you things after you have deleted the boards you can, over time, train it to show you more of the things you want to see. I’ve finally got it to a point where I’m seeing things that make me feel bad far less frequently. 

All of this is work and requires a conscious effort from yourself to remove things that are harmful before they get to you. This system isn’t perfect and you will continue to see garbage some of the time. It is still possible to optimise what you’re seeing in order to feel less anxious and down on yourself. Do keep in mind, that it’s just a small part of your life and that if you are genuinely concerned about your mental health to talk to a professional if that is something you are able to access. Also, this isn’t an alternative to minimising your screentime, which we should probably all try to do a little more. 

Happy new year! 

More like this 

You are doing enough. 

Did I Keep my 2018 Resolutions?

#girlaboutcampus #advice #mental health #social media #ed tw #ed #anorexia #body dysmorphia #bdd #anxiety #anxiety tw #tw #cw #dieting #diet tw #new years #new years resolution #weight loss #tumblr #twitter #facebook #instagram #pinterest #wheezywaiter #nigella lawson #withlovelinh #hannah witton #electrolemon