#plus he wants to marry MySpace

[kennyomegasweave]

8 Shows to Get to Know Me

The rules seem pretty simple, just to list 8 shows to get to know me. Some people have explanations and some don't so we'll see.

I was tagged by @negrowhat.

Teen Wolf (2011-2016, 2023) Okay, I'm not necessarily proud of this one, but it was my favorite show when it was on for it's five seasons and I unironically loved the movie this year. Did it have LOTS of problems? Yes. Do I care? No. Scott McCall is one of my favorite characters of all time. Derek Hale was a flop his entire life and I loved him for it. I legit have two arrow tattoos cause of this show dammit, lol.

Shameless (2011-2021) I'm ghetto white trash. I come from two lines of Slavs and American poor. I will always love it. Was it outlandish? Yeah. Did it show some real ass shit? Yeah. Did I cry at it more than once? Yeah. Did Ian and Mickey getting married heal my heart? No, but it was very nice to see. I legit live in my childhood home on the southside. I am a gay with bipolar. I am technically on probation right now. I don't think I need to say anymore.

OZ (1997-2003) I started watching this show way too young. It was the most ridiculous, dramatic, ain't shit, had no business show. And yet I still own the DVDs and made my best friend start watching it. She's mad as hell at it, but she agreed to watch it knowing she would be mad as hell. And she's now the one being like "fuck we can watch another season, I hate this fuckass show but I want to watch." A win is a win.

Generation Kill (2008) Yes, the American military complex is bad af. But this show is funny as fuck. It didn't hesitate to show these dudes are just regular ass dudes. There was no hero worship. My bestie and I still quote it to each other all the time. Plus the HBO War fandom was amazing back in the day. So many good edits and fics.

Queer As Folk (2000-2005) Okay this show did not hold up well at all. What with the, you know, main relationship that we all loved and rooted for being Brian (29) and Justin (17). But we didn't have anything else back then okay! I still love this show, but maturing is watching it and realizing Ben and Michael were the best couple, Melanie was never wrong and should have left Lindsay, Lindsay was bisexual and needed therapy to stop being dickmatized by her gay best friend she never got to sleep with because he's a gay man, Justin also needed therapy for so many reasons like so many, and Brian needed to like just stop just stop in general.  Also, it legit took 5 YEARS and Justin also almost being killed for Brian to say "I love you" and we all just celebrated that like it was the greatest thing despite it taking FIVE YEARS. Again, it was all we had. But I still love how it showed gay people having sex and enjoying it and not really much shame or whatever. And the "admit the truth, you love him" speech is something I STILL quote for my ships to this day. Like it was very "we're here, we're queer, get used to it" and that was AMAZING for 14 year old baby gay Clyde.

South Park (1997-Present) It's ain't shit to it's core. It's hilarious. It's still my humor. I've been watching since season 7. Sometimes I don't agree with the takes, but lots of times I do. And when it's not even trying to have a take it's just straight funny. When I'm in a low cycle, I put it on and can at least get some laughs, which is hard to do when I can't even get myself to shower and leave my house.

South of Nowhere (2005-2008) Okay. Listen. I'm a gay lady. I wasn’t really coming to terms with it in my teens, despite having a whole ass friend I was having sex with despite being like THIS MEANS NOTHING THIS IS NORMAL IT'S NORMAL TO GET NAKED WITH YOUR HOMIE RIGHT and then she moved and I gay panicked and didn't return her calls ever and ignored her on myspace, then this show came out and I was like ...oh. Oh I see. So yeah. The N had a show about a teenage lesbian realizing she was a lesbian cause she fell in love with her out bisexual friend. And then they had a relationship! And they stayed in it! And like they had sex and it was normal and fine and just yeah. This show meant a lot to me.

TharnType (2019-2021) Honestly I haven't had this show for very long personally but it is one of my favorites. I've watched it twice in less than a year. It's a hot ass mess. It's perfect. It's problematic and toxic and everything I love. Type is on that "I can hit my bitch" gay energy from back in the late-00s, which is bad don't get me wrong, but it's so delicious to watch because he's just so small, angry, and hopelessly in love. He really got the D one time ONE TIME and stayed gagging for it for the REST OF HIS LIFE. That is amazing. That is art. If you can't see how that's not the greatest thing you've ever seen, I'm sorry I can't help you. Techno remains my favorite friend in all of the BL shows I've watched now because everything he did, EVERYTHING, was gold. Lhong was BATSHIT INSANE and it was the greatest thing I've ever witnessed. My bestie has ZERO interest in any of my "gay Thai shows" but she has said she will watch this one with me because "it sounds ridiculous and it's just gonna make me mad, but you already have me watching OZ and that makes me mad so let's do it." Plus it's got "her boy" Mew. It's amazing. I'm making my straight bestie watch it and I am already so ready to watch her watch this show. I even liked the sequel. Type and Techno were really out here like IS HE CHEATING ON YOU WITH THIS GIRL like Tharn was not a whole ass homosexual who already had the convo back in college about trying pussy once and going ew. He really put on a fire fit to scare off a woman claiming his GAY man. Amazing. How could anyone hate this show. I don't understand. lol

Tagging: @whitehinagiku, @maibpenrai, @yourrescuemission, @ohnegroplease

#about me #this was way harder than I thought it would be #I'm not like proud of all these shows #but they all explain why I am the way I am lol

[survey--s]

294.

Do you know anyone who works in a laboratory? We’re not in touch anymore as we graduated ten years ago, but some of my housemates from university went on to work in labs.

What was the very first social media site you signed up for? Uhh, probably Friendster or Bebo. I think they were both around before MySpace, anyway.

Can you see yourself marrying your current partner? (if you have a partner) We are married.

If you were in a coma, who would be making healthcare decisions for you? Legally it would be my husband, but I suspect he would take advice from my parents as they’re both healthcare professionals.

Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? I just want to be happy. Which I am, so I guess that’s worked out nicely, lol.

Do you have commitment issues? No.

What was the last thing you had an allergic reaction to? I’ve never really had an allergic reaction, luckily.

Have you gone out to dinner in the past week? Nope.

If you were to start a business, what kind would it be? I run my own dog-walking business already.

What was the last thing you felt nostalgic about? I honestly couldn’t tell you.

What’s something you’ve done that sounds too crazy to be true? I don’t really think I’ve ever done anything that falls into that category - I’m not really a risk-taker and I generally play things pretty safe, lol.

Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No. Archie was a digger as a puppy so we got rid of them all in case he ate anything, and we’ve just never bothered to re-plant them.

What’s the weirdest decoration you’ve seen in someone else’s home? I just did a house-sit for someone who had a massive plastic gorilla in the back garden, hahah.

Did you have your own bathroom when you were growing up? Not in our first house, but when we moved when I was eleven I had a whole floor to myself, plus a downstairs bathroom. So, my floor was the top floor and it had my bedroom plus a study and a small toilet/sink room, and then on the floor below as my parents room and en-suite, and we also had a spare room plus a full bathroom down there that was just for me.

Do you live near the ocean? Yeah, about two minutes drive away.

What has been the worst thing that’s happened to you today? Nothing bad has happened today but I was pretty annoyed to come home to all of Mike’s mess from yesterday that he hadn’t bothered to tidy up.

Do you know anyone who never disciplines their children? No.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without leaving the house? Two weeks at the beginning of the pandemic when I had suspected COVID and the “rules” were quarantine for fourteen days. The first week was fine but I got really antsy and bored during the second, even though I had full access to the garden and stuff. It was weird as I’m so used to going out pretty much everyday normally.

Are you more of a practical thinker, or more of an imaginative thinker? Practical.

When was the last time you were sick? What did you have? I honestly don’t remember, I haven’t been sick in ages now.

Does anyone in your family smoke? No.

Name three random colors: Purple, grey, red.

Color #1: what’s the nearest object that is this color? The cover of the book next to me.

Color #2: would you ever paint your living room this color? Yeah, two of the walls are already that colour.

Color #3: would you ever dye your hair this color? Been there, done that.

What’s your opinion on hunting? It’s fine as long as you eat what you kill. I really can’t get worked up about people killing animals for meat.

How well do you know your neighbors? Well enough to say “hi” in the street.

How far are you into the book you’re currently reading? I’m not reading anything at the moment.

Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? Yeah, Layla got out of the back door one night and we didn’t notice until the next morning - she was gone for three days before she turned up in a neighbours’ garden. I had to poke her out of a bush with a stick, lol.

Do any of your exes know each other? Some of them do.

What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? Believing abortion should be illegal. If you think that, fuck you.

What was the very first election you voted in? One in the UK - it must have been the first one after I turned eighteen which was (I think) in around 2009 or 2010.

Do you know how to make omelettes? Yeah, I learnt at school, but I can’t stand eggs as an adult.

Do you feel positive and optimistic about your future? Yeah, for the most part. Life is generally pretty amazing :)

#survey #surveys

[onisiondrama]

Onision: IRL EP: 1 - Onision’s Response videos summary Part 4

“Onision: In Real Life's Executive Producer Slandered Onision & Got Caught Red Handed - PROOF” (11 of 21)

James called Steven “this dude with the lazy eye” and Steven “Ass-arch.” He says this mispronunciation of his last name is intentional. He says Steven published slander in his article about Randy and Deborah because he wrote James lived with them when he was 17. James shows a clip from his livestream with Steven. In the clip, James says when he lived in Ohio with his father, he remembered watching the plane hit the twin towers in school. They rolled a TV into the classroom. James says he was 17 in 2003, so it doesn’t make sense. Steven implies James’ recollection of when 9-11 took place could be incorrect.

James says he was 15 when he lived in Ohio. He says Steven kept his slanderous article published. James points out the document they show in the doc about fight he and he dad had was dated September 4, 2001. He says looks like once again Randy lied and Onision told the truth. He says Steven knew Randy was lying because he tweeted Steven documents that proved his age.

James says someone named Thomas reached out to him with a contract for the documentary. He didn’t sign because the contract was awful. He says he sent Thomas proof his father lied. He says the documentary is now publishing statements of a proven liar.

“Anti-Onision Documentary Lies About Onision's Income & Shames Honesty/Staying In Shape... What?” (12 of 21)

Clip from the doc, Steven says at this point James wasn’t making any money, so Skye was the main breadwinner. The doc shows a clip from their “Married Life” skit. James says this isn’t true, by the time they lived in that house he was making $2,000 a month. He says Skye wasn’t solely supporting him. He was a Youtube partner with 28 million views. He shows his channel on the Wayback Machine as he says this. He says 28 million views could come out to $100,000 according to Social Blade.

Steven says Skye and James’ relationship seems very dysfunctional. They show a clip from the infamous video “Lovers’ Pact” where James says the rules for his marriage to Skye. No lying, stay skinny. James says not lying and staying in shape are his examples of their marriage being dysfunctional. “This is the narrative of Discovery +’s documentary. Honesty, BAD. Staying in shape, BAD.” He says all they did was show he prioritized honesty. 

Steven says James posted controversial opinions that people couldn’t agree or connect with. James sarcastically says people can’t connect with the idea that it’s nice to stay in shape for your significant other and it’s nice to be honest with one another. He says it makes sense since he’s proven Steven to be a liar and Steven is kind of fat. 

I don’t exactly remember the context for Steven saying James wasn’t making any money, but I remember thinking he was speaking about right after the military. After the Air Force, James and Skye lived with his mother. This was when Skye was the breadwinner. Yes, after that they moved into the house in the skit he was making money off of Youtube. It’s possible Steven was not talking about when they were living in that house and the skit was just something the editing team threw in there.

I have no idea why James is trying to imply he made $100,000 at that point. You don’t start making money off of every view the moment you create your channel. You had to be accepted into the Partner Program. He doesn’t say how long he was a partner at that point.

The “Lovers’ Pact” video was considered controversial when it was uploaded. I’m sure James knows this. Also, again, we don’t know if showing this clip after Steven said their marriage was dysfunctional was Steven’s doing or just the editing team throwing something in there. James and Skye were pretty private about their relationship compared to other relationships James has had during his career. There’s not a lot of footage to go off of.

“Discovery Plus's Libel Against Onision, Lying About Onision's E-Mail & Shiloh Gets Debunked” (13 of 21)

The doc shows a dramatized email conversation between Shiloh and James. Shiloh says, “Hey Greg! I’m Shiloh. Love your banana song :)” James replies, “Glad you liked it. BANANA POWER !!!” James says that’s not the email exchange he had with Shiloh. He shows their first email again. He says he couldn’t ignore her email because she said she almost killed herself. “It was a real I care about human lives move on my part.”

He says the documentary says “Toronto, Canada” and “2010″, but they don’t say December 2010 because that would debunk Shiloh’s bullshit that they spoke before that first email. Instead they write a fake email.

Clips from the doc, Shiloh says when they first started talking back and forth, he was in Seattle and she was in Toronto. He says that’s incorrect, he was in Tacoma. 

He goes over the Rogue situation, says Shiloh posted a fake picture of someone else’s premature baby and said it’s hers. He says she is supposed to be a credible source of information when she doesn’t even know where he lives. He shows a receipt from when he filed for divorce from Skye to prove he lives in Tacoma. He calls Shiloh incompetent.

These types of docs always have fake email or texting conversations. It’s called a dramatization. It’s pretty dumb and I definitely laughed when I first saw the “BANANA POWER !!!!” fake email. If I had to guess why they came up with this conversation and didn’t use something closer to the actual first email would be maybe they did not want to include the backstory about Shiloh’s ex before James? It might have been too confusing. They could have done without showing an email altogether imo.

The documentary DID say their interactions took place in December 2010. When they were showing their actual emails and Skype calls they wrote “December 2010″ at the bottom of the screen.

When James lived in Tacoma, he would ALWAYS says online that he lived in Seattle. She was probably just saying Seattle because he would say he lived in Seattle online the whole time they were together. What would she have to gain from lying about James living in a city that’s a 30 minute drive from where he actually lived?

Here he is advertising he lives in the “Greater Seattle Area” on LinkedIn:

Here he is saying he’s from Seattle on his about.me:

Myspace:

You get the point.

[taylizmasterpost]

TayLiz Returns (August 2011 - January 2012)

Now, Taylor’s music suggests her and Liz got back together and broke up a bunch of times. It’s kind of hard to pinpoint that exactly, since they’re on tour together constantly and can’t really have a break from each other that would be discernable by an outside source such as myself. However, this is the time for it! Time for mess! Time for fun!

9 August 2011 - Speak Now in Chicago. Taylor covers Sugar, We’re Going Down by Fall Out Boy:

The lyrics that stand out here to me are:

Is this more than you bargained for, yet? Oh don’t mind me, I’m watching you two from the closet Wishing to be the friction in your jeans Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him? I’m just a notch in your bedpost But you’re just a line in a song

Of course, once again. Taylor could just like the song. But I think it’s interesting.

10 August 2011 - Speak Now in Chicago night 2. Taylor covers I Want You to Want Me:

This one is REALLY INTERESTING in the wake of Liz’s breakup. Some choice lyrics:

I want you to want me I need you to need me I’d love you to love me I’m begging you to beg me

Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying? Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying

So does Taylor want her back? Or does she just like the song? Could go either way.

16 August 2011 - Taylor goes on a Girls Trip to Charleston with Liz, Caitlin, and a few other friends. Now, in a birthday post years down the line, Liz would reveal that Taylor specifically planned this trip because Liz was having a good time (We’ll get there in Late-Stage TayLiz). This feels like healing breakup blues to me.

While there, Liz tweets about possibly sharing a bed with Taylor again:

Taylor takes some great black and white photos of everyone that will show up in a later photo blog and Liz tweets about how much she loves retro photographer Taylor:

18 August 2011 - End of Charleston trip. 

Liz tweets about Taylor healing her heartbreak blues:

That night is Speak Now in Alberta. Arm lyrics: “Find the Grace in the things you can’t change, and help somebody if you can.” Taylor covers Complicated by Carolyn Dawn Johnson:

Choice lyrics, you know the drill:

I’m so scared that the way I feel is written all over my face We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do But now a smile and a touch of your hand makes me come unglued

I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay

Another friend tells me that my name is always on your lips They say I’m more than just a friend, they say I must be blind Well, I’ll admit I’ve seen you watch me from the corner of your eye

What an utterly appropriate post-Charleston trip song.

19 August 2011 - Speak Now in Alberta. Arm lyrics: “Hey brother, we’re all learning to love again.” – Mat Kearny’s Learning To Love Again.

22 August 2011 - Taylor posts “The Charleston Photo blog” on MySpace, featuring pictures from the Charleston trip:

So, clearly, they had a good time.

23 August 2011 - Liz quote tweets Taylor about the Charleston photo blog:

27 August 2011 - Speak Now in LA. Taylor covers Bette Davis Eyes:

Now, not only is this an EXTREMELY GAY COVER considering it’s about how beautiful a woman is, but Bette/Betty is a popular nickname for Elizabeth. And just look at the lyrics:

And she’ll tease you And unease you All the better, just to please you She’s precocious And she knows just What it takes to make a pro blush

IS THIS NOT EXACTLY WHAT’S BEEN HAPPENING EVERY NIGHT DURING BETTER THAN REVENGE? TEASING? UNEASING? MAKING A PRO BLUSH??? Hmm, Taylor, what an interesting choice of a cover in the wake of the Charleston Trip...

It’s worth noting that Liz also grew up in the LA area, making this even more special if it is about Liz.

5 September 2011 - Taylor and Dianna Agron meet for the first time at the Fairfax Flea Market after being introduced by mutual friend, Ashley, who was working for Dianna’s hairstylist at the time. Dianna had lowkey outed herself that summer with #Shirtgate and considering all the mess going on with Liz, it’s possible Ashley (among Taylor’s other friends) were looking to introduce her to someone else.

8 September 2011 - Taylor diaries about writing Red the previous day and then recording it:

In a later interview, Taylor described Red like this:

“So this is a song that I wrote about the kind of relationship that is both the best thing and the worst thing at the same time and that’s why you can’t forget about it. It’s called Red.”

So, I have a two big theories about Taylor writing and recording Red at this point in the timeline:

1) TayLiz have IMMEDIATELY broken up again after the Charleston trip, and that’s why a mutual friend decided to introduce Taylor to Dianna.

2) Taylor and Liz are about to get back together again, and Taylor writes Red as a way of looking back on what she had with Liz back in 2009 before diving into a relationship with her again.

I’m leaning towards 2, but 1 could be true too. Who knows?

13 September 2011 - Rodarte show at NY Fashion Week. Taylor is interviewed by Vogue while there. She says there’s “just been this earth-shattering, not recent, but absolute crash and burn heartbreak” and that that’s what the next album is about. This really makes me think TayLiz breaks up IMMEDIATELY again after Charleston.

Taylor also gives these four things she’s learned about love and life recently:

Number two and four read like Jake shade to me.

16 September 2011 - Speak Now in Nashville. Taylor brings out Hayley as a special guest, they sing “That’s What You Get.” Hayley would later say she was surprised Taylor didn’t ask for Misery Business as That’s What You Get wasn’t one of their more popular songs at the time. (Keep in mind this is the song TayLiz jammed to years ago at the Paramore concert):

This song makes me think there’s a lot of back and forth happening between TayLiz right now if we look at it lyrically. However, things could be great in TayLiz land and Taylor just chose to perform this song because she knew Liz liked it.

19 September 2011 - Liz performs Jenny Turn Around with Tyler Hilton after Speak Now in Nashville. Tyler tells a story about how he went to the TS concert just before and Taylor had said that her and Liz both really love this song.

29 September 2011 - Liz tweets about crying to the song “The Heart Won’t Lie” by Vince Gill.

And thus, the back and forth continues.

16 October 2011 - Taylor recommends Liz’s YouTube channel and she gets an influx of subscribers:

30 October 2011 - Taylor diaries about being sick on tour, getting Meredith, and having written two songs in the last few days:

This usually signifies there’s a lot going on for her emotionally, although it’s hard to tell what since we don’t know which songs these are. (My best guess might be Treacherous??)

31 October 2011 - Liz tweets about getting married. 

Taylor posts a photo of her, Liz, and Caitlin on Instagram:

8 November 2011 - TayLiz have a “soul feeding time” together:

9 November 2011 -  Taylor posts a wedding dress train picture to IG with the caption “Dress train…”

12 November 2011 - TayLiz flirt more onstage during BTR:

18 November 2011 - Speak Now in Columbia South Carolina. Arm Lyrics: “Where would we be today, if I never drove that car away?” These are from the song “Don’t Think About It” by Darius Rucker. The lines before this go:

When we make choices we got to live with them Heard you found a real good man and you married him I wonder if sometimes I cross your mind Where would we be today If I never drove that car away?

To me, this plus the dress train pictures reads as Taylor’s reaction to Emily getting married the following day.

19 November 2011 - Emily gets married.  TayLiz are papped leaving a restaurant in London:

27 November 2011 - CMT Awards in Nashville. Taylor arrives with Liz and others.

1 December 2011 - Taylor shoots her vogue cover where she cuts her bangs at the Bowery Hotel. Her band (including Liz) comes to support her and her and Liz take a photo with their matching hair:

13 December 2011 - Taylor’s birthday. She’s recording something in the studio and posts a photo to tease the Red album (presumably she’s already titled it at this point).

Here are some pictures from the party:

22 December 2011 - Safe and Sound is released. TayLiz both tweet about it:

Taylor also posts about it on IG:

IN CONCLUSION: After Taylor pursuing her all summer, and Liz’s breakup with Jason, TayLiz took off again. They (maybe) shared a bed during Charleston, and Taylor certainly seems to have covered Bette Davis Eyes with her in mind. Their relationship is a little less obvious than they were in 2009, but that makes sense, considering the way Taylor has skyrocketed in popularity since then. Of course, they still are going to have some problems...

TayLiz Breaks Down (January 2012 - March 2012)

[topconfessions]

Yes diana dated Richard gere before pretty woman is wild haha it was at the same time she was with MJ there's pictures of her and Richard dancing in studio 54, also around 1981 1983 diana was wearing a ring, Mike write who's is it and dirty diana about her and those song talk about a heartbreak and how he proposed to someone and she lef him for someone else wish was Diana husband because she get married in 1985 and mike was the least to know about the wedding.. I mean he was so upset

Poor guy. He had every right to be upset. She had a lot of fucking Gaul. Sell out! Michael was richer and more powerful than the execs and actors she was screwing. He was gentle and very sweet. I won't shame her cause there a lot of women out there who are repulsed by goodie two shoes guys like Michael and want to go after guys who are the opposite of him. She had every right not to want to settle with him if he wasn't her type but she was flat out wrong and cruel for using him, leading him on and not drawing clear boundaries. Especially knowing what kind of person he was.

I give Michael credit because he did his songs tastefully. These days we got the Taylor swifts of the world trying to humiliate their exs and gain all the sympathy exploiting their personal lives in their work instead of doing it 100% for pure expression.

I always say if we had a free Michael movement just like Britney had one he would still be alive. Maybe in a wheel chair or like just frail or something, but alive. All these years later and I still feel his death. One of the worst days to be alive it felt like the earth stood still and the internet was broken when he died. I still remember everyone on MySpace instantly changing their display name and headline to RIP MJ and MySpace put up a RIP banner on the homepage for him.

Damn I'm old LMFAO.

Big lesson guys: Be careful of the choices you make and how you handle tough decisions in love cause your actions and what you choose to do will change the course of someone life forever. Your actions have long term affects on people whether or not the person is stronger /weaker.

This no different than Janet Jackson indirectly triggering Whitney and Bobby Coke binge cause she did the same thing Diana did to Michael to Bobby Brown at the time. She wouldn't date Bobby cause he was too black (dark skin) and cause he had a bad boy image that was rare at the time and she didn't want her career to tank if she was seen paired up with someone like him plus her father pushed that idea in her head and forbid her from dating guys like him.

Had Janet never screwed over Bobby, Bobby wouldn't have been on drugs long term cause he wouldn't have linked up with Whitney and Whitney may have still been alive today or maybe gone sooner. Who knows.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #356

“i’m just a painting that’s still wet: if you touch me, i’ll be smeared, you’ll be stained, stained for the rest of your life”

Have you ever used emotional blackmail to get your own way? WOW, no. What a starter. Has anybody ever used emotional blackmail on you? Not to my memory. Who did you last worry about and why? Honestly? Myself. My physical health just isn't very good right now. When are you next at work? Do you enjoy your work? N/A When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I'm not sure; I'm honestly very, very bad at this. I struggle big time hiding if I don't like something. Last time you heard a growl, who or what did it come from? My stomach. When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never. Do you have a mouse for your laptop? (Assuming you have a laptop) I use a mouse. I'm not a big trackpad fan. Do you have the right time set on your microwave? Yeah. What is your most expensive bill? I don't have any bills that I pay myself, because I can't. Do you have a big yard? No. Is there someone you would love to punch right now? Myself lol. Does the water in your shower take a long time to get warm? Yeah, it does. Song playing? I have "Leave A Scar" by Marilyn Manson on. Are you tired? I'm always tired. If you had the power to instantly transform someone’s life (for the better), who would you choose to use this on? My mom. Her entire life has been so fucking unfair, and she doesn't deserve it whatsoever. Just one day of her being perfectly happy would make my entire life. You wake up to a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. Your family is safe, but most of your city is zombified. You need weapons and various other supplies. What is your first general course of action? I seriously cannot even begin to imagine what I would do besides panic and be one of the first to die, honestly. If a family member (or boyfriend/girlfriend, if you have one) happened to be infected by one of these undead creatures, how would you go about dealing with that situation? It would tear me to shreds, but shoot them in the head to hopefully prevent them from turning. I couldn't let them suffer. Does someone’s view on homosexuality affect how you feel about them in any way? Sure as hell does. How about someone’s view on religion? This one depends on what their beliefs entail and to what intensity. If you were paralyzed from the neck down, would you still want to continue living? Why or why not? NO. NO. NO. This is seriously one of my biggest fears. Just fucking kill me. That sounds like very legitimate torture to me. Has any medication you’ve taken ever made you sick? How so? Three, to my memory. When I started Latuda, it made me throw up semi-frequently, BUT its effectiveness made me stay on it. My body eventually adjusted. The same thing happened with my current mood stabilizer, Vraylar. I was also on another, Trintellix I think, and that one did nothing but consistently make me puke, so I stopped it. Would you ever consider being a foster parent? No. Would you rather drink alone or with friends? With friends. Do you have too much time on your hands? WAY too much time. And yet I do nothing productive with it. Have you ever thought about hurting someone? Not seriously, no. Do you thank people for helping you? Always. Have you ever seen a zebra up close? Yeah, a few. Do you freak out if you see blood? Nah, it doesn't bother me. Have you ever complained to a manager about anything? What was it? No. Are there any songs that make you feel angry inside when you hear them? "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White makes me feel that, among a thousand other emotions that are way too strong for me to handle, so I just don't listen to it. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? YIKES, no. Are you in an argument with anyone right now? No. Have you ever written a poem for someone? Numerous times. Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? I think only my grandmother has done that. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve meet online? Sara. (: Have you friended your parents on FB? I have my mom on there, but Dad doesn't have a FB. Where do you go out to eat for a special occasion? It depends on what we're in the mood for and what the occasion is. When someone sneezes, do you say “Bless you,” or “God Bless you?” Just "bless you." Have you ever seen the movie A Walk to Remember? Cliche or worth watching? Yeah, it's a wonderful movie. Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? House. Are you one of those people who like to spell out numbers? Grammatically speaking, any number below ten should be spelled out. I obviously spell out "ten," but w/e. Did you or do you still have a Furby? Was/is it annoying? I did as a kid. It didn't annoy me then, but as an adult I know they're creepy as shit lol. What's one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in? I don’t participate in any town events. Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouse’s names? Yeah. There's Nick, Josh, and Franky. Do you know how to sew? What's your favorite thing to sew? No. Have you ever owned a turtle? Did it ever bite you when you owned it? It's so awful looking back on, but my sisters and I kept a box turtle that wondered into our yard once as kids. No proper husbandry or anything; it was just in the kiddie pool. Thankfully, we were smart enough to not actually keep it forever (or rather, until it probably died from improper care); we wound up releasing it into the pond near our house, from which we assume it came from. Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I do; it comes with the Adobe photography bundle I have. I definitely don't use it daily, or even weekly. Has your school ever had a lockdown? If so, for what reason exactly? No, only drills. Do you enjoy it when your school has drills? (ex/fire or tornado drill?) I didn't, no, because I didn't like imagining the real situation. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? I'm an adult, for one. But anyway, I've never watched shows they'd have a problem with. If you have any pets, how would you describe their personalities? The cat, Roman: very, very affectionate, boisterous, demanding, playful, smart as fuck, and shy when it comes to strangers. The snake, Venus: curious, chill, and a bit timid. Do you have any friends that own a private lake? Not to my knowledge. Do you have a drone? No. Who is your favorite comedian? It was John Pinette, but following his death, probably Gabriel Iglesias. Where were you the last time you stayed in a hotel? I think at a dance competition? Do you know anyone with Crohn’s disease? Yeah. Out of all of the shows, movies, and books you love, who is your OTP (one true pairing)? Probably Spyro and Cynder from The Legend of Spyro trilogy. I love them. But I honestly don't have like, intense OTP feelings for any fictional characters? No real reasons, I just don't. Rhett and Link are my *true* OTP haha, but I didn't know if they counted since they're obviously real. Have you ever written a fanfiction? Did people actually like it? Nah. Have you ever liked playing dollmakers or online dress-up games? OH MY GOD my little sister and I would do that together ALL the time. Have you ever sent any celeb fan mail? No. Have you ever gotten a serious injury at school? What happened? No. Do your pets follow you when you walk around the house? Oh yes, he's my shadow. What was the very first social media site you signed up for? Myspace. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? I mean, I know what I want, I just don't know if it's achievable for me. Do you have commitment issues? Nope. If you were to start a business, what kind would it be? I'd love to have like my own facility for boudoir photography. I've only shot boudoir once, but it immediately became a passion because of how empowering it was for my then-friend. I could go on a real ramble as to why I love it. What’s something you’ve done that sounds too crazy to be true? Been to psychiatric hospitals like six times. I honestly did lose count. Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No. What was the last thing you drank? Water. Truly incredible, I know. What’s the weirdest decoration you’ve seen in someone else’s home? *shrug* Did you have your own bathroom when you were growing up? No. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad and his wife. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? That dinosaurs never existed. What was the very first election you voted in? This past one, actually. Do you feel positive and optimistic about your future? I don't want to think about this. What exes do you still associate with? Just Sara and Girt. Who told you they loved you last? My mom. Your worst enemy? I don't say I have any enemies. People who don't like me or I don't like them, but "enemy" isn't the proper word. What was your last dream about? Ugh. What a fucking question to ask, considering what I dreamt last night. I had both a nightmare and a normal dream; in the nightmare, I was sucked up into a tornado and carried away, and it felt so, so real. I was terrified. The dream is more vague in my memory, but I know I was at Jason's house (which wasn't actually his house) and his mom was still alive. I was hanging out with her and just chatting. It made me wake up in a really somber mood. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Psych hospitals, yes. Have you ever built a snowman? Yeah. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate. Do you have any scars? I have a lot, but most are from negligible instances that just won't go away for some reason. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? Putting all impossibilities aside as well as any potential health repercussions, maybe a meerkat and an opossum? Just in general a meerkat with a marsupial tail would be SO cute. Plus imagine the pattern. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh I don't know. Can you do any accents other than your own? I can pull off a really convincing British one. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. No. I just get clean, get out. I've always hated showering (the process anyway, I obviously enjoy feeling clean), so I get my business done adequately and then I'm done. Do you believe in aliens? Eh, maybe. It does seem pretty questionable to believe NOTHING else can exist in an infinite space. I doubt they're little green men, though. What do you think about babies? WAY too much work and WAY too much responsibility. Keeping another life safe, healthy, happy... the idea alone is terrifying. No thanks.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''leave a scar'' by marilyn manson

[yellowfang89]

It’s wild how much has happened and changed since 2010, and now going into 2020. I was going to put in a "read more" out of courtesy but for some fuck ass reason, when I came in to edit it, Tumblr isn't giving me that option and the code ain't working and now I'm slightly buzzed so what the fuck ever you can just keep scrolling if you don't care lol.

January 2010- Obsessed with Legend of the Seeker. Wrapped up finishing playing Pokemon Diamond- my first pokemon game on recommendation of my best friend at the time. My last semester of community college started.

March/April 2010- got acceptance letter to the local state college I planned on transferring to. Best friend didn’t get any notice on whether she got accepted or not, but got an acceptance letter from another college about an hour away, and decided to go there instead. After making this decision, she finally got the acceptance letter from the local state college. But she still ended up going to the hour away one. Also, I turned 21 and had my first margarita.

May 2010- Graduated community college with an AA in art. God, I remember when I used to love art.

At some point I ended up officially leaving Myspace for Facebook, kicking and screaming, because everyone had ditched Myspace for it. I hated Facebook but got used to it.

August 2010- went on a two week cruise to Alaska. Came back and started new college afterwards. Had no friends and was lonely, though kept in close touch with best friend over Facebook. Got new Macbook.

September 2010- Finally found myself in a new friend group. Saw a beautiful boy on lightrail I wanted to talk to, but had no courage to. Realized that this kind of shit was probably why I didn’t have a boyfriend, and I wanted a boyfriend for the sole reason of not feeling like a loser for never having one.

October 2010- Saw same beauty, gathered up the nerve and talked to him. Turned out he also went to my school. We started seeing each other regularly on there and things started taking off. 

November 2010- Started hanging out with him regularly, got my first kiss from him. Became an official couple.

2011- Can’t remember what months and for what, because things start blending in together. But

- Beloved cat of five years died.

- Lost my virginity

- Didn’t have much money in bank account and stressed out over it. Couldn’t get a job to rectify the situation cuz no experience.

- Started feeling guilty over the smallest things like asking to borrow a piece of paper from someone. Mentally acknowledging this was weird but also shrugging it off. 

- Lost my appetite and had food problems overall- despite always having “food problems.” Never wanted to eat.

- Distinctly remember my stomach rumbling in class and thinking, “good maybe i’ll starve to death!”

2012- Shit blended in together again this year, and for every year here on out.

- Came to the realization one day when walking to the bus that I literally would not care if someone came at me with a gun because I just… didn’t want to exist anymore. Saw nothing wrong with this.

- The thought “things would be better if I was dead” came to my brain out of nowhere. I briefly wondered if this counted as a “suicidal thought.”

-Decided to Google shit like suicidal thoughts, went down a rabbit hole that made me suspect I had depression. It explained things that I thought were off but didn’t care enough to do anything about.

- Eventually saw a counselor at school about this.

- Got a hamster. Hamster died this same year.

- Got a volunteer position at a library scanning old yearbooks onto a computer so I could have some sort of “work experience” to get a job.

- Boyfriend had got me Pokemon Heartgold earlier. I started trying to “collect them all” because why not.

- I switched from using an ethernet chord to WiFi and it changed my life. Especially since I was able to go on the GTS in Pokemon and trade, though it was fucky cuz you could only trade Pokemon you’ve already seen back then.

- Ended up getting Pokemon Black, and it introduced GTS Negotiations which allowed me to match with other trainers and trade Pokemon live. Due to this, I managed to obtain every Pokemon I couldn’t get in my other games. Except event legendaries, unfortunately. I consider this one of my greatest accomplishments and keep up with this to this day.

- Considered switching my major from Graphic Design to Digital Media because I liked my Digital Media class a lot more than my Design classes. And made that switch.

- I decided to minor in psychology because I had already taken a few psych classes for GE credits so why tf not.

- Towards the end, got a “student” job at that same library doing the same thing except with artwork instead of yearbooks. Finally had money. Depression starting to lift? But job was only a 4-8 hour a week deal so not that much money in the long run.

2013-

- Discovered demisexuality via a comment on Reddit. It described me pretty damn well. Weight lifted off shoulders I didn’t even realize was there. Things made sense omg.

- Joined Tumblr.

- Best friend came over for what turned out being the last time. She was moving to Arizona.

- Got a second job working at the tech company my Dad worked at, helping out the customer service rep.

- Slowly found myself drifting apart from friend. Depression still present. Made things hard but tbh she never contacted me either. I got the impression she was mad at me given she unfollowed me on Tumblr without explanation.

- Since not a lot of work to be done helping the csr, I ended up helping our our shipping guy and became his backup. Eventually the purchaser left on maternity leave and I took her place, eventually becoming the main purchaser because they moved her to accounts receivable.

- Decided that my depression was making me a piece of shit friend so I decided to contact best friend to see how things were, only to get a cryptic, passive aggressive, two-word response back. Ended up just dropping it and figured she’d eventually come around and tell me what was wrong. She never did…

2014

- Depression on and off due to the stress of going to work and going to school. At this point I hated all art and wanted nothing to do with any of it and only went to school for the piece of paper saying I graduated college.

- I think this was when I started calling myself gray ace instead of demi because why the hell not and I’ve only been sexually attracted to one person anyway. Possibly still demiromantic though- to this day I’m still unsure tbh.

- Boyfriend taught me to drive. I got my license. I got my first car.

December 2014- I graduated college. It cured my depression. Unfortunately, it was replaced with carpal tunnel. 

2015

- Carpal tunnel still full force. All I could do was read.

- I caught up on all the books I’ve wanted to read. Eventually came across Warrior Cats. Thought it was stupid for the first 50 pages, but then became addicted. Lost interest when I had to wait several months for the next arc to come out.

- The year I got into wrestling. I shipped Rolleigns so fuckin’ hard.

- Undertale came out and became one of my favorite games of all time.

- Find out brother is addicted to painkillers which is why he had been acting like such an ass.

- Dumped Facebook.

- Driver at the company I worked at quit. Company wants me to be “temporary” driver on top of purchasing, shipping, and assisting the customer service rep.

- Got into writing and wrote a book and continued writing off and on from then to now.

2016/2017/2018? I can’t even keep track anymore.

- Pokemon Go came out and I finally got a smart phone because of it.

- Brother gets girlfriend and then gets married after only being together a year. Brother seems to have gotten better.

- They started having marital problems almost immediately. My brother turned out being an alcoholic and fuck knows if he’s still doing drugs or not he says he’s not but he’s also a chronic liar. A lot of drama happens that I don’t want to get into. They are now divorced- after two years of marriage. 

- Got new laptop cuz Macbook got too old, although it still works.

- The company I had been working at, which had always been a shit company with no money, starts going down the shitter more than it already was.

September 2017- customer service rep quits and I have to do her job on top of purchasing, shipping, and driving. Mental breakdowns become common. Depression worse than it had ever been in my life. 

January 2018- get a 45 cent raise because minimum wage went up meaning I was now making minimum wage doing all the bullshit I was doing.

May 2018- Get new job doing ONLY shipping for a few extra bucks more an hour. Depression cured.

2019

- Got in a car accident (not my fault). Car totaled. Replaced it with a 2018 car so it’s all good.

- Experienced my first flat tire half a year later.

- Still get random bouts of depression.

- Still with same boy from 2010. Would love to move in together but fuck if I know when that’ll happen. 

- Still wondering wtf happened with my (ex) best friend and am still trying to get over it. Am considering the possibility that it was probably my depressed ass not talking to her at all for like 4 months. Unfortunately I have no way of contacting her to try and make peace because we both dumped Facebook.

- Got back into Warrior Cats.

- Dad got new girlfriend. Parents finally working on getting the divorce they wanted to get 20+ years ago but never did cuz neither one wanted to spend money on it.

- Briefly considered taking up drawing again but my skills have tanked significantly because I haven’t drawn since graduating college. Plus I’m lazy. 

- Obsessed with The Witcher.

So much has changed throughout this decade and fuck if I know how next decade is gonna turn out for me but I sure hope it's a better one.

Happy New Year to all, and to all a good night!

#no one cares

[tyvekoil27-blog]

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#date

[rylredrants]

20 Years Ago

It’s been 20 years since that day. And just like I wrote in the only ‘memory’ referencing 9/11 on my Facebook, I don’t want to jump on a bandwagon or soapbox. I don’t want to join the throngs of people answering the question that, for those of my generation, needs no explanation… “Where were you when?”

But I can’t not write today.

For me, the where was easy. I was in Colorado Springs.

To say it’s an area with a large military community doesn’t do justice to the sentiment. The Air Force Academy, Cheyenne Mountain Air Force Stations, Fort Carson Army Post, Peterson Air Force Base, and Schriever Air Force Base are all within an hour’s drive, give or take traffic. My new husband was stationed at Fort Carson, a Cavalry Scout.

My mother called me in hysterics- which was not unusual, waking me up earlier than normal. I was working at the Olive Garden as a server. My daughter was 4 years old.

I got up, took her to daycare, and went to work. There was a TV on the same kind of AV cart we got excited about in school sitting inside the server’s station on one side. We didn’t have customer-facing televisions and this was long before smartphones were in everyone’s pockets.

Another military spouse showed up for her shift, unaware of the events. She turned around to go home. She lived on Fort Carson and didn’t get through the gate for several hours.

That evening, I was part of a small sleepover of sorts where a handful of us “Scout Wives” held vigil together- crying and waiting for some kind of news from our husbands. The post was locked down tight. We didn’t get to hold them in our arms until the evening of September 12th.

The “where” is an easy question.

I think the bigger question is “WHO were you when? And who did you become in the aftermath?

Twenty years ago, I was a 22-year-old newlywed. He was my 2ndhusband- a cute boy in a green uniform with bright blue eyes, a grin for miles, and a quirky little gap between his front teeth. He had deployed to Bosnia straight out of basic training. We met in a bar within weeks of his return to the states, around Valentine’s Day of 2001.

The day the towers fell, he still was not old enough to legally buy a beer.

I had already rebuilt my life once when I left California and split up with my daughter’s father. Our new life was just beginning, but when my mother wailed, “You just married a soldier and we’re going to WAR!” I felt it. I felt my entire life unraveling again.

We moved to Germany the following spring where he was almost immediately sent to Kosovo. It was slated to be a 6-month tour. His replacement unit was sent to Iraq as part of OIF 1, so they extended their mission to 9 months. From there, there were moves back to Colorado, a separation, reconciliation, a move to Texas, and 2 more deployments to Iraq.

By the time we separated, I was 30 years old. We owned a home and he was slated for a third deployment to Iraq. The TBI (traumatic brain injury), PTSD, migraines, and back problems were so bad that he did not deploy, and was medically discharged before his 30th birthday.

We stayed on friendly terms for another decade, but every time I saw pictures of his new life and new wife I felt all of it all over again. He still had the big grin, but the sparkle in his eyes was gone.

That man has his name, his fingerprints, and his DNA but little else remained of the boy I married all those years ago. My husband went to war, but despite coming back upright and without a flag draped over his body, he never came back.

This is one of those things that people outside the military community don’t often realize. Whether or not you wear the uniform, war changes you. Military families deal with their own stress, trauma, loneliness, and fear from having loved ones in a warzone for weeks, months, and sometimes years at a time.

Waiting for that telegraph, knock on the door, or news story that mentions their unit… that part has changed over the years but living in that constant state of dread is the same.

It’s a state of anticipatory grief… waiting for the moment when the grief process will begin and be recognized by those around you.

When the same uniform walks through the door, the rest of the world sees the happiness of a homecoming.

But for so many, that happiness is often quickly replaced with learning who the person wearing the uniform has become in their absence.

New kinds of stress, trauma, loneliness, and fear often follow.

The stress of readjusting to sharing your home. The trauma, packed neatly away in their rucksack spills out all over the floor with their gear. Then comes the loneliness when they isolate and disconnect, and fear that you will become the target of their anger.

When my soldier returned, his drug of choice was video games. I called myself a ‘PlayStation Widow’ because he would spend every waking moment outside of work with a controller in hand, often not getting up to eat, drink or even smoke. His anger was most pronounced in his road rage- yelling, swearing, speeding, and tailgating.

I learned to manage his anger with my tears.

The rage would take hold and I would take responsibility for it, trying to figure out how I could have caused it. ‘What did I do? How can I fix this? What does he need?’ Eventually, I realized that he only calmed down once I’d become so spun up into it that I’d broken down in my own panic.

Over a decade later, when my current partner, Pirate, is struggling with his mental health, my first instinct is still to take responsibility.

It’s only because of the therapy, medication, and communication, on both sides, that I’m able to acknowledge and support him without taking it on as my own.

I swore I’d never get involved with military personnel again when that marriage ended.

What I hadn’t considered is that relationships are often brought about by proximity. I’ve lived near military installations for most of my adult life- Forts Carson, Hood, Meade, and Huachuca stateside, plus 2 years in Germany.

Friends, lovers, 2 ex-husbands, and my current partner have all brought their own trauma-filled rucksacks along with them, and into my life.

They each had their own experiences and their own way of handling things.

Dirty D had a picture on his MySpace of himself crouched down, naked, pistol in hand that was taken shortly before he was hospitalized for holding the gun to his head. I was friendly with his wives and girlfriends, including the one he moved to Idaho with to live off the grid on a hand-built homestead.

Taz was working nights as a bouncer when we met. He was sent to Germany only to be medically discharged and returned to Texas because his body was too damaged from previous trips to “the sandbox” to deploy again.

The Postman shared stories he wrote about his time in Mogadishu, Somalia. You probably know that as the place where "Black Hawk Down" happened. We met while he was on leave from Iraq and he later emailed more stories to me from Afghanistan.

The Mad Scientist once talked about being with his unit early on during Operation Iraqi freedom. Food was scarce so they were only getting one MRE a day. He had a stash of candy bars that he broke small pieces off from to share with the guys in his unit that were struggling the most with hunger.

MM also experienced those lean rations and hunger along with going days on end unable to get clean. The bulk of his PTSD revolved around food and cleanliness.

We once drove over 3 hours to go to a ‘Princess Bride’ themed burlesque show. The venue said they had food, and we didn’t have time to get dinner before going to the theater. When he discovered that the concession stand was closed he had a meltdown, leaving me alone to go get a hamburger at a bar down the block.

Pirate has nightmares, crying out in his sleep and trembling so violently that our bed shakes. He was medically discharged from the Army before his unit deployed. He lives with survivor’s guilt on top of the PTSD he developed as a 5-year-old missionary kid in Kenya during a civil uprising.

And none of this takes into account the first responders, civilians, and all of their families who have been impacted by this.

Here we are 20 years later...

I just saw a video where a teacher discussed telling her students about 9/11. She explained that there were 3 targets that symbolized the very idea of America in their own way. The World Trade Center was a representation of the American economic power, the Pentagon is a symbol of military power, and the 3rd target, the Capitol is the seat of our democracy.

20 years later, the 3rd target was attacked again.

This time, the attack did not come from foreign powers but instead from home-grown terrorists, radicalized to believe the blatant lies of a spray-tanned reality TV star who is spending this anniversary as a ringside commentator at a casino boxing match in Florida. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

We are in a politicized pandemic that quite literally almost killed my own mother last week. I’m living in the hottest city in America where we moved for a job that Pirate was fired from 3 weeks after we signed our year-long lease.

Oh, and the Capitol police have requested the fences be put back up for the “Justice for J6” rally next weekend. These 'very fine people' are gathering to show solidarity for those who literally smeared shit on the halls of our democracy.

Showing support for those arrested for assaults that left several people injured. Five people died shortly before, during, or after the event, and 4 officers who responded to the riot died by suicide in the months since.

Today there are people all over social media posting stories of where they were that day.

But others are the younger people who have been taught to “remember” an event that was little more to their personal history than a scary movie on TV. They were too young or too far removed from it to carry the same scars as those who lived through the events of that day and all that came after.

I’m glad they only have to perform the remembrance rather than experience it. But for the rest of us, I think that it is part of the healing to look back on this anniversary and say,

“I was there. I was present. That day changed my life in ways that still matter to me.”

[someplace-that-is-else]

A Matter of Persistence (Otherwise Known as an Elyce Day): Writing Update for 5/28/18)

I have to give it to my co-worker.

B Davis worked 8 to 6 almost six days a week. She lived far from our work place than even I did. She was in charge over a lot of details. So the idea of her even being off was nearly impossible unless it was a holiday.

So she had what we have called elyce days.

It was days that she took off a few times a year. Not even a vacation. Those days were days that she stopped to take inventory and get some much needed stuff done. Outside of work stuff. Life stuff. It was a matter of getting caught up.

This past week, I decided to do the same.

My brother was getting ready to get married. While one of my jobs had hours that were consistent, I also had a job where my hours were not consistent. Meanwhile as I mentioned in other blogs, I had several books that I planned to self-published…books that I did not seem to have time for.

Needless to say…this was time for an elyce day.

For Want of a Cover: How Are Things With DARKENED SOUL: WITCH’S ABYSS

It was all a click away.

Darkened Soul: Witch’s Abyss had finally gotten finished. My epilogue to Book 2 in my Darkened series Darkchilde, Darkened Soul: Witch’s Abyss was a dystopian mystery starting Aidan Hillworth. Aidan was one of the narrators in Darkchilde. He was a witch that only wanted a normal life. However, no one really chose the life they wanted.

So Darkened Soul: Witch’s Abyss had been an interesting ride. I had no idea that I would write another story involving Aidan at all. I thought his journey was over. So I was excited at the surprise. However, there was one thing.

I could not find a cover.

It was a specific setting. It was a specific protagonist. It was a specific idea.

Everywhere I looked when I looked for covers I found female protagonist when I needed a male. I only found spy thriller covers when I looked for mystery. I saw covers for sci-fi, but was hardcore sci-fi.

All I could do was growl.

Running With Scissors: How Are Things With DARKENED SOUL: THE BREAKING OF CIRCLES

It was coming together.

When I first started my side-project a year or so back, I had no idea that it would get so near to completion. It was a nice distraction for working on Crossover or a blog or the third book in my Darkened series. However, I wanted to release it before my third book.

It dealt with so much backstory. Not only of the characters that populated my various novels. It explained the origin of the prophecy that ran through my Darkened series. It showed the beginnings of the Nosferatu circles. It explained how some of the characters were the way that they were.

Before I knew it, I had 100 plus pages. Before I knew it, I was sitting down one day thinking of the novella that was the centerpiece of my book collection. I realized it.

I was almost done with it.

Given the amount of time periods that the collection encompassed, there was going to be a lot of research to it. Still…I could not believe that something that was just an idle hobby was now a new book.

Then I took a look at my job schedule. My eyes frowned. I saw that there was nothing, but hours among hours of work.

When would I find the time?

Then it came to me.

What Was in a Day?

I saw down at the coffeehouse. I just had some good Greek. I could easily just sit there and people watch alone. It was in Hillcrest so there was plenty to see. But…that was not why I was there.

It was an elyce day.

I did it some time ago. I saw that I needed a cover for Darkened Soul: Witch’s Abyss. I also needed research time. There were a lot of writing things that I needed to get around to. So when it was time for me to ask off for my brother’s forthcoming wedding (I’m the Best Man), I also put down some days. In my wildest dreams, I was thinking about EDC aka Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas. I had not gone in years. Perhaps I should go.

I didn’t. Maybe next year. LOL!!!

However, I had asked off for the time. So…I figured that I might as well used it. Besides a lot of my friends said that I worked way too much. I was driven. However, there were times that I fell into that trap that I called so busy working that one forgot to live. I didn’t want to be that way. If I was not living the way that I wanted to, what was the point?

So there I was at the coffeehouse. Could I tune out all the eye candy? Could I focus on something more important?

The answer? Yes.

I clicked. I clicked some more. I clicked again. Some were okay. Some were dazzling, but not what I was looking for. Some might even be potential future ones just in case. All however were covers. And for once, I was making the time to look at them. It felt exciting that I had this block of time to look at covers. Where had this time been all this…well…time?

Just as interesting were the in-between moments. Looking at covers could be tedious after a few hours. So I managed to up that time by multitasking somewhat. My Facebook pages definitely needed attention. I had begun posting teasers from Darkened Soul: Witch’s Abyss a few weeks ago, but time had gotten away from me. Best to get back to that.

I admit…I did not blog as much as I used to when my blog was on MySpace. Heck, back then it was a big deal to write 100 blogs consistently. Now…it took effect. Or maybe…time? So I started to work on my latest blog. It was not as pop culture-y as my last one on Supergirl (http://someplace-that-is-else.tumblr.com/post/173531453553/long-may-she-reign-how-supergirl-righted-the), but it was about something that I loved…writing. It was nice to get back to writing about the life of a writer. It was sorely missed.

As I neared the end of my time for the day, I started to ponder what I would do. The floodgate had been opened. A nice writing groove had descended on me. I really did not want it to end. As I thought that, I wondered…what I was doing…was it worth it? After all…I couldn’t even find a cover.

My mood saddened.

Keep Going

Doubts? Me? Really?

Perhaps it was the fact that I had not found a cover. On my last few books, I did not recall it taking months to find one. Weeks sure, but months? Perhaps it was the fact that I had not released anything in 2017. Perhaps it was that now that I had time, I was worried about going back to same old, same old.

As I took the bus home for the evening, it was those thoughts that were in my head. Part of it was good because I was totally in writer mode. However, part of me did not like those thoughts there. How could I shut them off? Did I want to?

Funny thing about doubts…they pass.

It seemed simple at first. Most people who have seen me on my Writer page (www.facebook.com/writerguygothic) know that usually I do a post called ‘Editing, Writing, Typing.’ In It, I talked about what I was working on for the week and the various progress. It was a way to see if there was something I should be doing. It was also a way to be sure I was working on something. It was through that that I noticed that I was not writing. So I had been working on stories for Darkened Soul: The Breaking of Circles. Jacob’s section still needed to be finished for the novella within the novel.

It started so simple at first. There were several scenes within the novella that were told by several points of view. I felt like I was not digging into Jacob enough. So I started to take the time as I wrote to dig deep.  If I did not feel it, then I simply did not write. Given what was to happen at the end of his section, I needed to give Jacob some happiness before it was taken away from him. But how to do that?

I had some personal drama. Relationship drama. Since relationships were central to Jacob’s character, I decided to see Jacob’s situation like my own…just with Nosferatu. And then…it snowballed. The writing flowed. The rhythm moved nicely. And the ending was tragic.

However…I wanted more.

The genie was out of the bottle. And once I found myself done with Jacob’s section, I found that I wanted to keep writing. Thinking. Plotting. Planning. I began working on the epilogue for my novella. Meanwhile, I needed to keep my momentum.  I WANTED to keep that momentum. So I kept going. I kept pushing.   So I pushed forward on finding a cover for Darkened Soul: Witch’s Abyss.

And as I was about to step out for the evening…I FOUND IT.

AT LAST!!!! There it was in front of me. It fit the story. It fit Aidan’s character. I was in awe of it. And just in case, I had backup covers if things did not work out. I felt a smile on my face as I stared at it.

While part of me had been ready to step out, I had stayed in a little longer. I had kept going. I had been the one thing that a writer that self-published needed to be. I had been PERSISTENT. And in the end that had paid off.

Of course when you see one sign, you see another. I had mentioned that I had not published anything really last year. However, I had been writing. And like seeds to ground, they were growing out of it. I had been so busy writing that OOPS!!! I had multiple projects this year to work on. When one had been slowed down by a setback, I always had another one in the wings to work on. As a result, books were now falling into a timeline that would result in them being done. First Darkened Soul: Witch’s Abyss. And then Darkened Soul: The Breaking of Circles. And next up…the third book in my Darkened series.

So…as I got ready for a new week, all I could think was one thing. It had been a good elyce weekend well spent.

#keepgoing #blog #persistance #supergirl #seasonthree #stronger #darkenedsoul #witch #abyss #jacob #breaking #circles #selfpublishing #drive #focus #elyce #day #week #persistent #bdavis #brookedavis #onetreehill #writing

#keepgoing #blog #persistence #supergirl #seasonthree #stronger #darkenedsoul #witch #abyss #Jacob #breaking #circles #selfpublishing #drive #focus #elyce #day #week #persistent #bdavis #brookedavis #onetreehill #writing

[thesevillereport]

In Focus End of An Era

In 2003 a patriarch is laid to rest. He leaves behind a wife he had married weeks before his death and four kids from a previous marriage. The kids ranging from 16 to as old at 24 at the time would have to make their way through life without the guidance from the man whose last name they share.

Fast-Forward four years and the second to oldest child of the dead patriarch is in middle of a mild scandal. A video tape of her and her superstar musician boyfriend is released showing some of their very intimate moments from a Mexican getaway.

At the time the video is a bigger deal for the musician who is known internationally than it was for the girl who most people outside of southern California didn't know. That year, 2007, would be the last year that the girl from the video, her two sisters and younger brother would be anonymous.

Several months after the sex tape was released the girl in the sex tape and her family would debut their reality show on the E Network, and they would change the economy forever.

The show, Keeping up with the Kardashians would become an instant hit for the E Network and make super stars of the entire family.

As the show's production moved along from season to the season, its fandom grew along with its critics. However, rarely did anyone take a moment to tip a cap for all that the show, and the family had done to usher in the New Economy.

The New Economy

The new economy is what we're in now. It's getting paid for having a large amount of Instagram or Twitter Followers. It's getting paid ad-sense from a YouTube Channel, it's making money for yourself, off yourself and your experiences, it's making serious money without the need of being validated by anyone other than a fanbase.

Prior to the Kardashians, there was a narrow path to fame, you could either act, sing, do stand-up comedy, model, or be in pro-sports. And to officially be put on the path of fame people needed to be validated by someone else famous or very talented. The Kardashians changed that.

Before the Kardashians, brands went to famous names, like actors and musicians to push their products, the Kardashians changed that too.

The fan base and the fame of the Kardashians grew in unison, and this gave the family an audience to push products to, which they took full advantage of. Kim Kardashian alone has been an ambassador for jewelry, skin care products, a shoe brand, a shoe retailer, liquor, nail polish, and an app just to name a few. Prior to the Kardashians those opportunities went to actors and musicians, reality TV people rarely got any national work away from their shows.

The Kardashian had an influence on the face and bodies that companies wanted attached to their products. Prior to the Kardashians, models were to be tall and thin, the curvy model wasn't a thing. The Kardashians changed that, curves were now accepted everywhere.

And the infamous sex tape would change how people viewed sex tapes. Pre Kardashians a sex tape was enough to derail or even ruin a career, but even that changed with the Kardashian's success. In the years following the Kim K sex-tape, the public would witness semi-celebrities create their own scandals around releasing their own "leaked" sex tapes, in hopes of gaining fame or infamy, a fanbase, and an audience to sell products to.

Hollywood had long used fictional drama to sell products, but the Kardashians gave a class on how to profit off your own drama, no matter how embarrassing that drama would appear to some.

Building an audience using the adventures and misadventures of your life, then pushing products to that audience was a part of the new economy that the Kardashians mastered while many business people didn't even know it existed.

The naysayers will say that Robert Kardashian, the father of Kourtney, Kim, Klohe, and Rob Jr. left his kids a multi-million dollar trust, so they were or already rich. Others will say that momma Kardashian AKA Kris Jenner leaked the sex tape herself in an attempt to make Kim famous.

The easy rebuttal to naysayers is that many kids have been left vast amounts of wealth and didn't accomplish what the Kardashians did; and there have been celebrities with sex-tapes prior to the Kardashians that never obtained the level of fame or success the Kardashians did.

And it's true that people were vlogging before the Kardashians and doing public appearances for money before the Kardashians and taking pictures before the Kardashians, and modeling before the Kardashians. Similarly, computers were around before Microsoft and the internet existed long before Amazon, but we celebrate how Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos were able to leverage the available infrastructure to create wealth for themselves, their families. The Kardashians, in the same vein as Gates and Bezos were able to leverage what was already there to create a family fortune.

Unfortunately one thing prevents the Kardashian clan from being recognized as titans of business, and it's their vaginas. If this were a group of men or women being led by a man or a group of men, those men would be celebrated as much as we celebrate Gates, Bezos, Jobs, and Zuckerberg.

The Roses

Recently Kim Kardashian announced that the upcoming season in 2021 will be the family's last season doing the show. But it's nothing to be sad about, after 14 years it's probably time, and I doubt they will disappear like someone who has been aged out of Hollywood. I'm sure they will stay productive and active in business.

I've always thought the Kardashians did not and don't get enough credit for what fame or celebrity looks like now, and how people are able to capitalize off of their fame now. What would the word "influencer" mean in 2020 without the Kardashians? Would there be Tik Tok stars without the Kardashians? Would we know how to break the internet without the Kardashians?

Over a decade plus we've witnessed an unknown girl in a sex-tape become a household name and her family name become internationally known.

Because of the Kardashians you no longer need to be famous to get started, you just have to believe you have something interesting to share and put it out there.

The new economy was masterfully dominated by the Kardashian and Jenner clan before a large part of the world even knew that there was a new economy being formed. Their lessons on brand building, content creation, and digital marketing have been copied by millions, and many of those millions have been able to create small fortunes of their own.

The lesson we can all take from the Kardashians is to survey the infrastructure and think outside the box. Many people are going about Tik Tok or YouTube a specific way or going about Instagram a specific way. There likely is another way to leverage all of the tools available to us now to reach the level of success we are all after, and we just need to figure out the combination to achieve that success.

Before the Kardashians, people wanted large friend counts on MySpace, and then Facebook, and a large follower count on Twitter, but they weren't thinking about monetizing those friends and followers, the thrill was in just having a high number of friends and followers, the Kardashians changed that.

For investors the lesson is to embrace the new and get comfortable with what's different. For the early part of the Kardashian run, critics felt that the family was famous for no reason and that they didn't have any talent. In America and in business everywhere, people aren't paid for "nothing" they're paid for the value they can create. The brands and companies that understood that benefited from the success of the Kardashians. Bottom line, as an investor, if money flows towards it, so should your attention.

So to the Kardashians and Jenners, I tip my hat, congrats on what you've created.

#Stocks #Investing #Investments #Business #Digital Business #Digital Economy #New Economy #Kardashians #Jenners #KUWTK

[gatorfruit-moved]

200, 192, 189, 174, 171, all in the believe in category, 154, 149, 146, 145, 142, 141, 138, 131, all in the here's what i think about category, 86, 84, 76, 66, 60, 54, 49, 44, 22, 18, 15, 11, 6, 2 Only answer the ones you want - there's a lot...Sorry lmao. I'm just curious

I love when I can go on and on about questions, thank you

200 My crush’s name is:I have two and people irl have my tumblr and one of them has a tumblr so :x they’re both a K name. 192 I am allergic to:Cats which does not stop me, all kinds of pollen, and lavender. 189 Last book you read:I’m currently working on When The Moon Was Ours174 Do you have any siblings?Not biologically but my friends may as well be my brothers, we say we are. 171 Do you play an instrument?I’ve been on flute since late third grade and I’m learning both guitar and bass. Do you believe in169 Love at first sight:Mmmmm not really? I dunno. 168 Luck:In a way to just describe entropy yeah. 167 Fate:Again not really but I like to use it in a poetic sense. 166 Yourself:Pfffft not really165 Aliens:HELL YEAH164 Heaven:Nope163 Hell:Nah162 God:Nada161 Horoscopes:No but I think they’re neat160 Soul mates:It’d be cool but no159 Ghosts:No but I like supernatural shit like that158 Gay Marriage:OH YEAH BABEYYY157 War:No but I don’t really like involving myself in that discussion, i don’t know jack about psychology or sociology. 156 Orbs:In the supernatural sense no but I do believe in my friend’s cat we call Orb. He deserves all the love. 155 Magic:No but another thing I think is cool. 154 Hugs or Kisses:I love bear hugs so much but I’ve also never been kissed. Cheek and forehead kisses are good but I’m going with hugs. 149 Hot or cold:Cold but with warm sun146 Chocolate or vanilla:Vanilla! Swirl is the best though145 Night or Day:Night but like just as the sun is starting to set. 142 McDonalds or Burger King:mcnaldos. I was gonna italicize it but mobile sucks. 141 White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:Milk unless it’s cookies and cream which reminds me of the summer, when Uzii and Abbas bought out the whole stock at the general store on Kelley’s Island. 138 Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:I mean I’m ugly and poor lmao. If we’re talking personality, sweet and poor. If it’s appearance, i don’t care ab looks sooooo ugly and rich. 131 Small town or Big city:This is so hard for me because I live for Pittsburgh but Kelley’s Island was so perfect. Here’s what I think about122 War:Like I said in the do I believe one, I don’t know enough to say anything. It’s a complicated issue but for the most part I hate it121 George Bush:I have no idea120 Gay Marriage:I may be gay married one day lmao119 The presidential election:I mean this past one gave us some top notch SNL. It’s a shame though that the first on I kept track of was this shitshow. 118 Abortion:I’m very pro choice117 MySpace:Idk116 Reality TV:I love me some drag and cooking competitions but not things like the bachelor. 115 Parents:Mine? I’m fine with. Our relationship is a little weird. Plus I was raised by grandparents so it’s a complicated thing. I can go more in depth if you want. 114 Back stabbers:Rot in hell Alexa. Sorry just a vent. 113 Ebay:I dunno really112 Facebook:I barely use it but it was good to come out on lmao111 Work:I need it110 My Neighbors:I don’t talk to them but my old ones were creeps109 Gas Prices:I don’t drive so 🤷🏼‍♂️108 Designer Clothes:Hate it when they steal my culture 🔪🔪🔪 but other than that idc. There’s some stuff that is ridiculously priced but others, it’s just people making money doing something they love so power to them107 College:Let me in106 Sports:I bleed black and gold. I’m such a pittsburgher. 105 My family:Strange. I love em but they’re weird. Like I’ve got Opa’s side in Detroit which is all 6’+ and fairly well off, although we did lose the matriarch. There’s Oma’s in the Netherlands that I don’t know anything about. Papaw’s who are also well off, Aunt Martha outbid a college for her house but other than that I don’t really know them. Grandma’s Mexican yinzer family I love. We get petty over refried beans and guacamole. There’s some issues with me and coming out though. 104 The future:I’m kinda of afraid but there are days where I’m not and those are the best. 86 The thing that I’m looking forward to the most:Testosterone tbh84 People call me:Scottie, Scooter, Scoots, Major, two people are trying to push Scrotum and Scootums, along with various things like faggot and dumbass lmao. By friends, it’s not in an insulting way. 76 Right now I am talking to:Mack and attempting to get tumblr to let me talk to @kairoth although answering all these did take time66 People that make you happy:This list would be bigger if I talked to some people more and others didn’t betray me but the big ones are Mack and Kennedy60 I lose all respect for people who:Oof I can’t remember any of the big ones but if I heard them I’d remember. Deadnaming and misgendering is the biggest tho. 54 The worst pain I was ever in was:I can’t remember what it felt like when I got the fishhook through my shoulder but it left a scar. Granted falling in the parking lot during practice did too which didn’t hurt a lot. The one I can remember though is waking up in the middle of the night not able to move my knee, and so my leg, at all. It stills hurts from time to time and it’s got a mysterious bump that’s stressing me out. 49 Do you want children:Yeah, I feel like I’d be a good dad. I have dreams about it sometimes. I had one where I had a little tan freckles blonde haired daughter was teaching how to box. Another with a little brown haired brown eyed son, tying his tie, talking to him about how if he likes a girl, not to be mean but to treat her like a princess. If he ever makes a mistake, to buy her and her mother flowers, maybe even her sisters. I dunno. It’s nice to think about. 44 One person that you wish you could see right now:Carson so I can have a serious talk with him. Opa because got i miss him, and Great Grandma Laney. Dad, although I saw him recent enough that I’m not desperate. And the two crushes, not gonna name names. Favorites22 Animal:I love hyenas with all of my heart18 Sport to play:Hockey. Not only am I good at the actual game and get so much enjoyment out of it, but there’s nothing like a solid shoulder check. I threw a kid way bigger than me into the wall in middle school. 15 Day of the week:I used to really like Tuesday for some reason but now it’s probably Friday, especially if I go out and do stuff with friends right after school. 11 Food:Wedding soup I guess? It’s a comfort food. 6 Flower:I really like snapdragons, bleeding hearts, and warm colored roses. I’m also a huge fan of daffodils, tulips, hydrangeas, snowball bushes, and pansies for nostalgic reasons. I just really like flowers. 2 Dog breed:Oh man that’s tough. I really like big dogs, not quite in size but like stature if that makes any sense??? Things like bulldogs and pitties. Xolo dogs are great too

Thank you again!

#personal #questions #long post

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 88

88: Pilot

Written by: Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuck, Ian Brennan Directed by: Ryan Murphy

Overall Thoughts: I have a love-hate relationship with this episode. Before it was announced that Darren would be on Glee, I was told by several family friends that they thought I would really like Glee. So, I gave it a try. The first time I watched the pilot I think I got… ten minutes in? I had to stop. I was so bored. A few months later I was recommended Glee again, and I though, well, that’s like four people now that have told me to watch this show – I should try again. So, I did. I got maybe fifteen minutes in. I just could. not. do it.

I only managed to finally watch this episode the whole way through after watching several other episodes that gave me more of a feel for what the show was actually like, and made me curious enough to actually stick the pilot out. Plus, my favourite actor was going to be on the show, and I needed to catch up. I think I’ve watched this episode all the way through a grand total of three times.

That being said, I didn’t actually mind it this time around. It does feel draggy at parts, but what pilot doesn’t? I felt very nostalgic watching it, especially since we got “2009”, which filled in a bunch of this episodes gaps. Finn’s stuff, especially, was fun to watch, albeit heart-wrenching. Honestly, I think nostalgia is part of why this episode is where it is on this list. If it weren’t for the nostalgia, it would probably be a lot lower. Plus, there’s some pretty funny parts.

What I Like:

They do a good job of introducing Rachel as an obnoxious character, but also creating sympathy for her. The MySpace scene in particular tugged at my heartstrings. The words she’s speaking are so annoying, but when you watch her read the mean comments it really makes you want to root for her. Lea Michele does an amazing job at saying so much with just a little frown.

“I’ll pee in a cup. I’ll pee.”

Finn <3 As much as it frustrates me that they had him start out by being a passive bully, they do a pretty good job of showing some good character development, even just within these 50 minutes. You can tell that Finn wants to be more than what he is. Also, I’ve always found it sweet how much he obviously cares for his mom. Even though the whole “Finn finds a father figure in Will” storyline pisses me off, at least they never tried to act like Finn’s mom wasn’t enough. It’s clear he loves her, respects her, and wants to do right by her.

Great foreshadowing on the Kurt/Finn crush storyline! This is the first time I’ve noticed, but when Finn first starts singing in “You’re the One That I Want” and Rachel looks over at him and smiles in interest, Kurt is doing the exact same thing. It’s cool that they obviously already knew where they were going with that story.

The introduction to Emma’s OCD. I like that this was introduced in the first episode, and wasn’t just dropped as the show continued.

Howard Bamboo. I really wish he’d been a bigger character on the show. He’s hilarious, and adorable.

This isn’t really something the show did on purpose, but I find it really funny that Sue says that Will is “blurring the lines” while “When I Get You Alone” plays in the background.

“There’s nothing ironic about show choir.”

“Being a part of something special makes you special.” Oh, right in the nostalgic feels.

What I Don’t Like:

Quite a bit actually.

First things first: it’s too long. It’s only about 5 minutes longer than a regular episode, but it feels eternal. So much of it just drags on, and on, and on. Ugh.

There is way too much focus on Will. You can obviously tell that Finn and Rachel are going to be the main teenage characters, but they really paint Will as the protagonist in this episode. Having seen the whole show, it’s clear that Rachel is the main protagonist of the show, and that starts to come out relatively early on. I wish that they’d made that more clear in the pilot. Also, I hate Will.

The way Terri was characterized always pissed me off. She’s almost more cartoony than Sue in how absolutely horrible she is. The dichotomy presented in this episode of “Terri – Bad; Emma – Good” is annoying. I get that she’s a terrible person, but did she have to be that terrible? I mean, aside from Will saying that “she used to be so full of joy” there’s no indication as to why he would be married to someone like Terri. Plus, the way that the show always tried to push the “Will needs to get away from Terri because she emasculates him” narrative has always bothered me, and that comes across from minute fucking one. Basically just the beginning of this shows weird obsession with masculinity and “what it means to be a man” or whatever.

Emma’s creepy crush on Will, and Ken’s creepy crush on Emma. Like, I get having a crush on someone, but the way both of them act around the people they’re crushing on is really weird. They’re adults, not teenagers. Yet, the way that Emma acts around Will is dangerously similar to the way that Rachel acts around Finn (even just in this episode). I don’t know if they were purposefully trying to parallel the Finn/Rachel and Will/Emma relationships, but it definitely comes across that way, and it’s pretty weird. As for Ken, he’s just pushy and licking Emma’s door handle was just gross and immature.

Sue’s characterization. You would not know from this episode that she’s being set up as the show’s main antagonist. Yeah, she’s not that nice about the Glee club, but neither is Ken. In fact, Ken comes across as more of an antagonist here than Sue does. I mean, come on, she’s got like two scenes in the whole episode. I feel like they didn’t really know what to do with her yet.

Puck and Quinn. I find the mean popular kids character so annoying, and Puck and Quinn are just ridiculously exaggerated. Puck especially is not characterized as someone who interests me, or who I want to root for. Watching this episode, I don’t care if he has character development. It’s kind of the same with Quinn. Unlike Rachel, the show doesn’t juxtapose their obnoxious behaviour with something that makes you want to cheer for them. They’re just straight up mean.

There’s actually a lot of offensive stuff in this episode – ableism, homophobia, transphobia, to name a few. I mean, it’s cool to see this and contrast it with the end of the show when these issues had been dealt with, but it’s still shocking to see Quinn calling Rachel “RuPaul”, or listen to Figgins refer to Artie as “a cripple”. Yikes.

Will instantly making it clear to the audience and to Rachel that she’s his favourite student. He literally tells her that she’s the best singer in there. I feel like this would be more acceptable if the show hadn’t become such an ensemble show. Within the episode it doesn’t seem too out of place, but when looked at in the context of the whole show it’s a pretty shitty move. Also, he goes out of his way to blackmail Finn just so that Rachel will stay in the club. That’s pretty ugly.

Will’s Spanish. “Que hace en tu verano pasado” literally translates to “What it did in your previous summer”. It should be “Que hiciste el verano pasado”. I know a lot of people might not catch this, but it’s kind of frustrating that they didn’t try and make sure he was using the correct verb tense. I mean, it foreshadows the Will being a bad Spanish teacher stuff in season 3, but at this point they want us to cheer for Will. The audience is supposed to want him to stay at McKinley. We’re supposed to think he’s a good teacher. Instead they show him butchering the language he teaches, purposefully showing favouritism towards a student, and blackmailing someone and giving him false hopes about a scholarship. Considering Will is the “hero” of the story, he really, really doesn’t come across very well.

Songs:

Respect: I wish we’d gotten this full song. Mercedes absolutely kills it. Also, it’s interesting watching this having watched “2009” – Mercedes is (rightfully) upset in “2009” about how Rachel gets the first solo, but hers is the first solo of the show. Sure, it’s not a complete solo, and “On My Own” is more fleshed out, but it’s still technically the first solo. It’s just cool how that turned out.

Mr. Cellophane: Same as above, I wish we’d gotten this full song. Not just because I like this song in and of itself, but because Kurt sounds really good singing it. Plus, the way he fixes his hair as he holds that note always makes me giggle.

I Kissed a Girl: I don’t like this song. I briefly did, when it was popular, but the first time I heard it after realizing I was bisexual made me very angry. That being said, I think the context for it is better here than in “I Kissed a Girl” (which I have a lot of issues with, but if you’ve read my review of that episode you already know that), and it does a good job of introducing Tina’s voice.

On My Own: Very emotional, and an amazing introduction to Rachel as a character. She sounds fantastic, and the montage, as mentioned above, really makes you want to cheer for her. I don’t particularly like the song in and of itself, but it still works really well as a character piece.

Sit Down You’re Rocking the Boat: Again, another song I’m not a particularly big fan of, but it’s still a pretty humorous sequence. I don’t think they sound as terrible as they seem to think they do. Artie sounds good, it displays his voice really well. It’s actually always confused me how Rachel insists on needing a male who can keep up with her vocally when Artie shows he’s a very powerful vocalist in this number.

I Can’t Fight This Feeling: While Finn sounds good in this song, it’s definitely not his strongest, and the fact that Will is listening to him in the shower (and doesn’t seem to realize how creepy that is) really puts a damper on the number as a whole.

You’re the One That I Want: Funny, and a pretty interesting way of introducing the love plot for Finn and Rachel. There’s not a lot of shows where the main couple start off with one half being blatantly, ridiculously obvious about their feelings, and the other half being totally terrified of how out there the first person is. While they basically ruined this by having them kiss in literally the next episode, it’s still a pretty original way of introducing Finchel, as a couple. Also, nostalgia.

Rehab: Watching this number, I don’t really understand why they’re all so freaked out. Yeah, VA is good, but a lot of that comes from the fact that they’re big. If you actually watch the choreography, it’s really not that complex. There’s a few cool moves, but nothing like some of their later stuff (I mean, let’s compare “Bohemian Rhapsody” to this number). There’s just a lot of them on stage. That’s it.

Leaving on a Jet Plane: Ugh. Not only is it boring, but we’re forced to watch Emma creepily draw a heart around Will’s picture in the yearbook like she’s some lovesick freshman in love with the senior football captain. Again, there’s a real high school feel to the way they portray Emma’s crush on Will. I know she’s inexperienced, but the audience doesn’t know that yet, and honestly, I know people just as inexperienced as Emma, and a lot younger than her too, that don’t act like smitten twelve year olds around their crush. It’s infantilizing, and kind of gross.

Don’t Stop Believing: This song and this scene is the highlight of the episode. I mean, DSB is what made Glee, Glee. It’s emotional, and it’s strong. Plus, after all these years, it has the nostalgia aspect. Definitely the strongest number of the episode.

Final Thoughts: Considering that the first season of Glee was so well received and liked, it has a really lukewarm start. It has some good, funny moments, but overall it’s draggy, and there’s way too much Will. Usually when I do Glee re-watches, I skip this one. It’s nice for the nostalgia of it all, and for a couple of funny lines, but that’s basically it.

#ultimate glee ranking