#pls just go to Ao3 I'm begging you

[buckymorelikefuckme]

and baby makes three

(the reboot)

bucky barnes x fem reader

words: 11.3k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** friends to lovers, pining, smut, oral (f receiving), breeding kink, pregnancy kink, cockwarming (kind of??), trigger warning for having troubles with getting pregnant. it's still super fuckin soft despite all of that though, i swear.

a/n: okay so it's currently 6am as i'm typing this and i haven't been to sleep yet bc i decided to just heavily edit this instead of rewrite it bc i'm lazy i guess idk. this was posted originally back in 2021 i believe and it's still on ao3 it's just orphaned rip. i promise i'll be writing and posting new stuff soon ok pls have faith in me and cheer me on bc it's hard and scary and i don't wanna disappoint anybody :( ANYWAY, as usual, any and all mistakes are my own. if i've missed anything important pls let me know so i can correct it. feedback is encouraged (pls) and appreciated (i am begging...)

The idea of you having a child one day always seemed foreign and very unlikely. Sure, you liked kids well enough, but having one of your own…

It’s a thought that’s sat in a corner deep in your mind, buried beneath a million other impossible concepts; a thought that you’ve only ever glanced over and never gave your full attention, having ruled it out ages ago as something you just couldn’t—or wouldn’t—do.

And then, on a day like any other, it pushes its way to the forefront of your mind, making itself known and unwilling to leave.

You’re going into the clothing store to find a new cardigan after your most favorite one got eaten by the dryer. Usually you’re a single-minded shopper, walking into a store with tunnel vision and on a mission to get what you need and that’s it.

Today, however, you make the mistake of letting your eyes wander on your way to the sweater section. Your gaze just so happens to land on the baby clothes… and your steps falter. It’s there that you see it, a tiny, pink onesie with a sleeping teddy bear printed on the front, displayed on an even tinier hanger. There’s matching pants with teddy bears all over them and ruffles on the butt and all your brain can muster up is cutecutecutecutecute.

Your feet carry you closer and before you realize what you’re doing you pick up the outfit, letting out a coo when you realize the teddy bear is fuzzy, softly rubbing your thumb across it. Somehow, you walk out of the store, not with a new cardigan, but with the cute baby outfit and a bow you thought looked adorable with it.

It’s not until you get home that it hits you, that you bought baby clothes for a baby you don’t even have.

The feeling that rushes through you is hard to describe. Shame? Embarrassment?

...Yearning?

No. Definitely not. Nope.

There’s absolutely no yearning going on here, not for a baby. You’ve never even had that desire before and you certainly don’t see yourself having it now. You shake your head to clear it, telling yourself you’ll take it back tomorrow.

Except you don’t take it back. You conveniently “forget” and it stays shoved on the top shelf in your hall closet. You pretend you don’t pause in front of said closet throughout the following days—weeks—chewing on the inside of your cheek and staring at the door like you can see through the wood at the evidence of your impulsive purchase.

It gets harder to ignore, though, when you start getting ads for baby clothing brands. And baby toys, bottles, handy little gadgets for new parents, nursery decor… It’s endless.

Then, as if it wasn’t already bad enough, all of your childhood friends start popping out babies like it’s a brand new trend. You don't think you've seen your social media this flooded with pregnancy announcements and baby arrivals, ever. Your emotions are mixed; happy for them, and for their excitement, but there’s also a weird discomfort settled in your stomach.

You hesitate to be that person who thinks the universe is trying to tell you something, but you do wonder. Why else would you suddenly have these feelings? Why else would there be baby stuff everywhere you look now?

It brings on other thoughts, as well. In this day and age, it’s not too unusual for women to have babies without being married, or without a significant other at all. There is the pressure, still, to at least be in a relationship, but considering you’ve been practically in love with one of your closest friends for the last two years, it’s safe to say that you’re tragically single, so having a baby with someone is out of the question.

And god, do you even want a baby?

As soon as the thought crosses your mind, with a sudden clarity that hits you like a ton of bricks, you realize you do. It feels like a freight train has slammed into you. Your mind’s eye supplies you with images of a swollen belly and wide smile, a precious baby wrapped in a soft blanket, cradled in your arms, a gummy grin and happy giggle.

Emotion consumes you then, longing like you’ve never felt in your life, chest aching with how badly you want that.

It’s not as if you’re too young. You’re plenty old enough and you’ve got a secure job. You don’t subscribe to that whole biological clock nonsense, but you do feel that if you are going to potentially have a baby, it might be better to do it now while you’re still in relatively good health.

You groan, dropping your face into your open palms, the movie you'd been watching to try and distract yourself long forgotten as it continues to play on the television.

This is a lot to think about, you ponder to yourself. Taking a deep breath in and releasing it slowly, you decide the mature thing to do is give yourself more time to ruminate on it. Having a baby is no small decision. You need to be absolutely certain it’s what you want. It’s going to change your entire life, everything, and you’d be responsible for a new life. So, you’ll have to give yourself a few months to decide and then you can go from there.

***

You’re scrolling through yet another article on your laptop, engrossed in every detail of the process of artificial insemination and the symptoms and side effects that come with it. So engrossed, in fact, that you don’t hear the key turning in the lock, the door opening and closing, and the heavy footfalls that follow.

It’s only when Bucky asks, “Whatcha reading?” that you are even aware of his presence.

You startle so hard that your knee slams into the underside of your table. Ignoring the throbbing pain in your knee and your wildly beating heart, you close your laptop with a snap and turn to Bucky.

“You could knock,” you grouse.

“Why give me a key, then?” he retorts, unapologetic.

You roll your eyes and grumble under your breath, “Clearly, it was a mistake.”

“You didn’t answer me.”

Brows furrowed, you ask, “What?”

He gestures to your laptop. “What were you reading? Your nose was nearly smushed against the screen.”

You blink, trying to think of a reasonable excuse and coming up empty.

“Nothing,” is all your brilliant mind can supply.

Bucky’s eyes narrow for a few seconds, and you pray to every higher power and all that is holy and good that he won’t press further. You remain frozen under Bucky’s suspicious stare, hearing that Old West shootout music playing in your mind.

Thankfully, it seems the deities are feeling indulgent, as Bucky chooses let it go.

He holds up the bags he carried in. “I brought lunch.”

You perk up instantly. “Did you go to that one place—?”

“With the fried rice you like so much, yes,” he finishes for you, smiling.

“You’re the best,” you sigh, stomach rumbling eagerly.

“I know,” he replies, solemn and dramatic like the idiot he is.

He begins taking out the styrofoam boxes and chattering on about something dumb Steve did the other day, and you mean to listen, you really do. It’s just. That article is still lingering in your brain. There’s so many steps and hassles. Plus, it’s not cheap. It would be a hefty investment.

You’d only researched it because, after months of contemplating the pros and cons of having a baby, you determined the pros far outweigh the cons. But then the problem was: how to even make it happen.

Your first thought was that you didn’t think you’d let just any man come inside you, for many obvious reasons. You’d shuddered to think of it. Then there was surrogacy, which is admirable and wonderful, but you’d quickly dismissed that idea as you realized you wanted to actually carry the baby yourself. So that led you to artificial insemination. You weren’t sure how you felt about it yet. There was something a little too clinical about choosing a random man’s sperm to have injected into your uterus.

Bucky’s still speaking as he grabs plates and forks, unaware of your inner monologue. “And then he got Sam involved,” he’s saying, scooping out food onto the plates, “which, as you know, I always think is a dumb thing to do.”

“I want to have a baby,” you blurt, eyes widening at your outburst.

Bucky fumbles with the spoon, sending fried rice flying, muttering curses as he tries to catch it with no luck as it lands with a dull clunk on the table. The silence that follows is loud. It feels like your heart is in your throat as you wait for him to just say something, anything.

“This is… quite a mess I’ve made,” Bucky finally observes. His voice is a bit higher than usual. “Where’s your vacuum? Actually, do you have one of those mini ones? Or would Clorox wipes be better? You know what, I’ll do both.”

He nods decisively then turns an expectant look towards you. His eyes look a bit wild, but you wisely keep that to yourself.

Wordlessly, you direct him to your hall closet. You realize your error a second too late when he opens the closet and reaches for the vacuum on the top shelf, where the purchase you’d made months ago also rests. His fingers get caught in the plastic bag when he grabs the handheld vacuum and its contents spill out. He goes to catch them right away, but once it registers what they are, he lets go of them like they’re on fire and nearly drops the vacuum on his foot.

Heat has been steadily creeping up your neck, but now your whole body feels aflame with embarrassment. The two of you stare at the baby clothes lying unassumingly on the floor for a long moment, until Bucky quietly walks back to the table with the vacuum clutched tightly in his fist. He flicks the switch on and it whirs to life, sucking up the bits of rice scattered around the table.

There’s another lengthy silence after he turns the vacuum off and you're unable to find the right thing to say to break it. Bucky does it for you.

“So… You’re serious.”

You meet his eyes and sigh heavily. “Yeah.”

He blinks a few times before clearing his throat, schooling his expression carefully. “I didn’t realize you were seeing someone.”

You cough lightly and start picking the peas out of your fried rice. “Well, that would be because I’m not.”

“I don’t think I follow,” he admits slowly.

You sigh again, lowering your gaze to your lap. “Look, I’ve thought about this a lot, okay? I’ve given myself months to really make sure it’s what I want. I’m in a good place in my life to have one, Bucky, and I don’t want to feel pressured to wait until I might get married.” You lift your gaze to his. “I want to have a baby,” you repeat firmly. “And I don’t need a partner to have one.”

You’re not sure why you feel the need to defend yourself. It’s not up to Bucky what you decide to do. You don’t need his approval, or anyone else’s. Maybe it’s because, even though you know it's not true, it feels like you're making too hasty of a decision.

After a beat, Bucky amends, “Well, I mean… You do…”

“Oh my god, shut up, you know what I mean,” you groan as you smack his arm, glad that he's not calling you crazy or trying to talk you out of it.

He doesn’t even flinch, the jerk.

“Wait, so what were you reading when I got here?” he suddenly questions, brows furrowed.

“Nothing,” you say too quickly, guiltily.

“Let me see your laptop then,” he counters as he crosses his arms over his chest.

You flounder for a second, scoffing. “What? No!”

“It can’t be that embarrassing, just show me,” he wheedles.

“Absolutely not.”

“Let me see!”

“It’s private!”

“Don’t be a chicken.”

Your eye twitches. “I’m not a chicken.” Bucky smirks and before he can even open his mouth you interject with a finger pointed accusingly at his face, “Do not start clucking at me, Bucky. I’ll kick your ass,” you threaten, though it's weak and you're not the only one who knows it.

You glare when his smirk only widens. Slowly, he moves his arms like he’s gonna flap them like chicken wings.

“Ugh! God, fine! You wanna know what I was reading?” You open your laptop and slide it over to him, turning it to where he can read it. “There.”

Bucky scans the page, then scans it again, eyes flicking all over like it’s in a different language. His cheeks grow redder and redder as he reads and you get a small sense of satisfaction at the sight.

“Wow,” he mutters finally. “You’re turkey baster serious.”

“James Buchanan Barnes,” you say, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“What?” he asks innocently.

When you make eye contact with him, you purse your lips to keep the laughter threatening to bubble out at bay, but the ever growing smile on Bucky’s face is hard to resist and you find yourself snorting a laugh that leads to uncontrollable giggles. Bucky’s laughing with you, his eyes crinkling on the sides. The tension you hadn’t realized you held in your shoulders loosens and you nudge his knee with yours in silent thanks.

“So,” he says after you've both calmed down.

“So,” you repeat, dragging it out, drumming your fingers on the tabletop. “I’ve been doing research, checking out all of my options, and while artificial insemination seems like the best choice… I don’t know, there’s just something too clinical about it,” you reply, voicing your concerns, “It doesn’t feel right. I know I said I don’t need a partner, and I don’t, but… Having absolutely no connection is weird.”

You shrug, waving a hand as if to say oh well, putting an end to the conversation, and pick up your plate to carry it over to the microwave. You reheat Bucky’s food while you’re up, and then you both start eating in comfortable silence. He gets halfway through his meal before speaking up.

“Have you… I mean, did you think about… I’ve heard that, uh. Some people ask another person…”

He trails off, clearly frustrated that he can’t just spit out what he’s trying to say. You think you understand what he means, though.

“I read up on surrogacy,” you say, biting your lip. “But I don’t think I’d want someone else to carry my baby.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean—I wasn’t suggesting, uh, that. Not that there’s anything wrong with it!” he rushes to say.

You tilt your head. “What did you mean then?”

“Well,” Bucky starts, stilted, licking his lips. “For the artificial insemination, have you considered… you know. Asking someone you’re close with?”

You frown, not following.

“For—for the sperm,” he clarifies, shifting in his seat.

“Oh,” you breathe, blinking rapidly, surprised as you think of how to reply. “Um. No? I wouldn’t even know who I could ask, to be honest. That’s quite the request, you know? Who would—“

“Me,” he interrupts, determined and cheeks flushed, “I would.”

Your own face heats. “Oh,” you say again, quieter.

You can say, with full confidence, that not once did it cross your mind to ask anyone to help you, but you especially would have never given thought to asking Bucky.

For a list of reasons, really, with “it’s Bucky” being right at the very top. Like—sure, yes, you’re in love with him, but after two years of no signs of reciprocation you’ve learned to stop dreaming, to stop hoping. If the attraction was mutual he would have shown it by now, right? And on top of that, his friendship means the world to you and you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it. You'd never forgive yourself if you ever managed to fuck up the one good, constant thing going for you.

“Bucky,” you start, slow and careful, “this… This isn't something you can just jump into. It’s something you should think about for a while.”

He contemplates that for a second. “You’re right,” he concedes with a nod. “But…” He purses his lips, glancing away for a minute before turning back to you, leaning forward. “Okay listen, this is important for you. It’s going to change your whole life. You said it yourself, not having a connection to the sperm donor feels wrong. You’re my best friend, alright? I—care about you. You should pick someone you can trust.”

He clenches his jaw after he finishes speaking. You sort of hate the way your heart both flutters and plummets at his words. It’s nice to know you matter to him, just not in the way you’ve wanted for too long.

And if you’re really honest with yourself, Bucky would be a great choice as a donor. He’s in great health, has strong features that would look wonderful on any gender. But would you be able to handle the repercussions of having his child? Would you be able to look at your baby and see those features without it sending a pang through your chest every single time? You can’t say for certain.

Yet, the chance to have that type of connection with him, selfishly, sounds too good to pass up.

“At least think about it for a few days,” you murmur reluctantly.

It’s the most acceptance he’ll get and he knows it. A smile blooms across his face and you have to swallow down the warring emotions rising within you.

***

With the amount of research you do on the subject now, it doesn’t take long for you to find out that there are at-home kits for artificial insemination that are much easier (and cheaper). It’s easy to settle on that, clicking on the info to order your kit with butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

You read through the instructions online and it all sounds simple enough, until you get to the part where it says that having an orgasm after injection helps increase your chances of conception.

Blinking, heat crawling up your neck, you read that step several times, hoping you read it wrong, but it doesn’t change.

You… You can’t masturbate with Bucky’s sperm inside you. That’s a line you refuse to cross.

And besides, he’s a healthy man in his thirties who exercises regularly and eats fairly healthy food! You probably—definitely—won’t need to take that step. It’ll be fine. Probably.

Once the kit arrives, you call Bucky and ask him to come over so you can explain the process to him. Since he’s only across the hall of your apartment building, he’s there a moment later, letting himself in with his key.

“Let’s make a baby,” is how he greets you.

“Hold your horses,” you reply, fighting back a laugh. “I gotta walk you through everything first.”

He plops himself down next to you on your couch. “Fine, fine. Go ahead.”

Squaring your shoulders, you begin telling him how it all works, and what parts he is key for. You speak through your awkwardness, avoiding eye contact, when you explain that he’ll need to masturbate into a clean, sterile cup. You leave out how it’s suggested for you to also masturbate, deciding it’s not pertinent information for him to know.

“When do we start?” he asks once you’re done.

“I have to take an ovulation test first to find out the best days for me to conceive, but once I do that we’ll be able to, um.” You gesture vaguely. “I’ll be able to do the injections.”

He nods. “Alright.” He looks at you then, taking your hand in his and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll be here every step of the way, okay?”

“I know,” you say, smiling. “Thank you, Bucky.”

“You’re welcome,” he returns softly.

“No, really, thank you,” you assert. “This is a lot to take on and I can never fully repay you.”

Bucky shakes his head. “I want you to be happy, and I can see that having this baby is going to do that. I’ll do whatever I need to do to ensure it happens.”

You pull him into a hug, willing yourself to not cry. You’re not sure he’ll ever understand what this means for you, personally, or that you’d ever find a way to express it. He’s giving you so much more than just a baby.

***

The first injection time comes and you find yourself fidgeting where you sit as you wait for Bucky to bring over the, uh… sample. You do your best to not think about what he’s doing in his apartment, to not think about exactly how he’s collecting his sperm.

Now is not the time, you mentally scold yourself. Get it together.

A timid knock at your door alerts you to his presence. The fact he’s knocking says a lot about his own level of embarrassment about the situation.

His cheeks are pink when you open the door. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi,” you return.

He clears his throat and lifts the small cup in his hand. “Here’s… well, you know.”

You gingerly take it from him, not knowing what else to say, but when he smiles somewhat crookedly and turns to leave, you find yourself asking, “Will you stay?”

Bucky’s steps pause. “Huh?”

“Will you—I mean… Would you mind staying?” You shift on your feet. “This is a big moment for me. I-I don’t want to do it alone.”

“Are you asking me to…?” He trails off awkwardly.

“Oh! God, no, I wouldn’t—no,” you assure, huffing a laugh, “I’m doing the injection, I just need a little moral support. That’s all.”

Bucky smiles. “Sure, I’ll stay.”

Relief floods through you. You step aside to let him in, closing the door behind him. He follows you to your bedroom and just before entering you stop in your tracks, nearly causing Bucky to bump into you.

“Um,” you mutter, turning to him. “You’ll have to, ah, sit out here,” you explain. “I have to be lying down…”

Understanding dawns on him. “Oh! Right, right, of course. Sorry.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m done,” you promise.

He nods and watches you close the door. You walk over to your bed and sit down, glancing at the syringe you’ll be using and biting the inside of your cheek.

This is it. There’s really no going back after this. Sure, you may not get pregnant the first time, but Bucky’s already said he’d help you for as long as it takes. It’s just… very real now. You don’t feel any doubts, though. You want this.

Inhaling a large breath and slowly letting it out, hands shaking, you take the lid off the cup and pick up the syringe. You remember the instructions, making sure there’s as little air sucked in as possible when you draw out the semen, and getting rid of the few air bubbles that you see. You grab your pillows and lie down, propping them beneath you to lift your hips.

“Here I go,” you mumble to yourself, taking another deep breath and releasing it.

A couple minutes later, the syringe is empty and you’ve got your legs pulled up to your chest. You cover yourself with your blanket and call out Bucky’s name.

“You okay?” you hear through the door.

“Will you come here, please?” you ask.

He walks in cautiously, making sure you’re decently covered before entering fully, wisely not commenting on your position. “Well?”

“I did it,” you whisper.

He stays quiet, letting you parse through your thoughts. You blink when you feel tears threatening to gather in your eyes. He’s beside you in an instant, crawling in the bed and lying down, taking your hand in his.

“Congratulations,” he says softly.

“Don’t congratulate me yet,” you reply, sniffing and wiping at your eyes.

“Still,” he presses. “You’re one step closer now.”

He pulls your hand up and kisses the back of it. You give him a watery smile. The two of you lay there in silence for a moment before Bucky breaks it.

“This isn’t how I pictured myself making a baby.”

It startles a laugh out of you and Bucky grins, pleased to have helped ease the tense atmosphere. He distracts you with idle conversation after that, talking about his plans for the upcoming weekend, asking about yours, tells you about the newest stupid thing Sam did; he talks and talks and talks, until your anxiety is gone, and then he stays to cook dinner for you.

Your hug when he gets ready to head back to his apartment lasts a couple minutes longer than usual. Bucky quietly allows it, dropping a kiss on your forehead when you pull away.

“Same time next week?” he jokes, making you crack a smile.

“Goodbye, Bucky,” you reply exasperatedly as you close your door.

“Bye, sweetheart,” he returns over his shoulder.

***

Weeks pass. More injections. Pregnancy tests taken.

But nothing happens.

All of your tests come back negative.

When reading up on artificial insemination, and pregnancy in general, you’d understood that there was a chance it wouldn’t happen right away. You thought you were fine with that, that you’d be alright with the waiting and all. Looking at your growing collection of negative tests, however, has a sense of dread building within you. You do your best to quell it, telling yourself there’s no need to stress over it. Yet.

Besides, your mind supplies in an overly cheerful manner, there’s still one more method to try!

***

The next time Bucky brings over his sample, he lets himself in, like always, and passes along the cup with an encouraging smile. You try to smile back, but it feels more like a grimace. He either doesn’t notice or he at least pretends not to, thankfully.

But when he goes to make himself comfortable to wait, you’re reminded that you haven’t told him about the, uh… change in procedure, so to speak.

You clear your throat delicately. “I don’t think you’ll need to stick around this time.”

Bucky frowns. “Why not?”

“Because…” You trail off, cheeks pinking, yet not finishing the sentence, because how do you explain this?

“I promised you I’d be here every step of the way,” he recalls. “I intend to keep that promise.”

You wince. “I really appreciate where your heart is, Bucky, I really do, but I literally cannot let you be here for this injection.”

“Why not?”

You look heavenward for mercy. “I have to…”

When you don’t finish your sentence again, Bucky raises a single brow, gesturing for you to go on. “You have to… what?”

You huff, throwing your arms out. “I have to orgasm, okay?”

His eyes go a little bit wide, but you can tell he tries to control his reaction. He swallows, shifting where he sits on the couch.

“Oh,” he mumbles. “Have… have you had to do that before?”

“No. Well, I mean, it was suggested, but I never…”

His eyebrows furrow. “Does it help or something?”

You absently scratch your neck. “They say it increases the chances of conception.”

“But you haven’t been doing… that.”

“I didn’t think I’d need to.”

Bucky inhales like he’s going to say something, but then doesn’t.

“Yeah, so, I don’t think you should be here,” you utter, quickly adding, “No offense.”

“No, yeah, that’s fair, um. I’ll just—I’ll head back to my apartment,” he states as he stands. “You can—I mean, if you still want me to—I can come back over? After you… uh…”

“I’ll let you know,” you reply, voice tight and high.

He nods, looking lost and like he wants to say more but thinks better of it. Finally, he mutters a soft bye and is out the door.

Alone now, your stomach feels like it’s tying itself in knots and your heart is doing its damnedest to beat out of your chest. You try to tell yourself that it’s just another injection, that this is the same as any other time you've done this, but you know it’s not. It's really, really not.

Laying down on your bed, syringe in hand, is much more nerve wracking than before. On your left lies a new addition to your routine. You don’t know why you’re acting like such a prude all the sudden. It’s not like you’ve never masturbated before. Though, you suppose the major difference is that you didn’t have Bucky’s sperm hangin’ out in your vagina all those other times while you did it.

“Quit being such a goober about this,” you tell yourself.

This has to be done for a reason. If you want to have a baby—and you do, very badly—then you’re gonna have to deal with the process.

Once you’ve injected the sperm, you reach for your bullet vibrator next to your left hand. The instructions say not to insert anything, only to stimulate your clit. You try to clear your head, think of it as a chore or something, yet it’s hard not to think of a certain someone.

The vibrator buzzes with the press of a button. You adjust your hips, making sure they’re tilted, then bring the vibrator to your clit. The first touch makes your stomach tense and thighs spasm.

You close your eyes, running the toy along your slit. You really don’t want to drag this out, would prefer to get it over with as quickly as possible, but your mind begins running away with images.

Bucky, settled between your spread thighs, one hand resting on one of them, the other controlling the vibrator. You imagine he’d tease you, slowly trail it along the crease of your thighs, over your hips; everywhere but where you wanted it.

Bucky would probably give in once you whine and beg enough, once your desperation bled into your voice, and hold the vibrator directly to your clit, drink in your cries of pleasure like they’re the finest whisky.

He’d mutter soft but firm encouragement, tell you how good you’re doing, how good you sound. He’d start circling the vibrator, going from quick to lazy swirls, then he’d change the setting to a higher one just to hear you whimper. His free hand would run up your torso to pinch at your nipples for added stimulation.

When you imagine him leaning down to add his tongue into the mix, your mind blanks as your climax hits you, a ragged moan forcing its way out of your throat. You’re quick to turn the vibrator off and toss it to the floor, deciding you’ll worry about cleaning it later, chest heaving as you pant for breath after an intense orgasm.

Shame and embarrassment consume you, mock you for using Bucky to rub one out. You’d given in to the fantasy so easily.

Truthfully, it’s not the first time you’ve thought of him while pleasuring yourself, but the context this time is completely different, and you feel immediately guilty. Admittedly, it’s probably irrational.

That doesn’t stop you from cringing at your actions.

***

You’re sure you’ve bought out the entire pregnancy test section from the convenience store down the block. Currently, there are six different brands in front of you, all promising the most accurate results.

Bucky is sitting in your bedroom, quietly waiting for you to pee on all of them so you can both find out what they say. You chug the last bit of your third bottle of water even though your bladder is fit to burst at any moment. Turning the faucet on for modesty, you make quick work of the tests, then wash your hands.

And wait.

You call Bucky into the bathroom with you. The two of you quietly sit on the edge of your bathtub, counting down the minutes. Part of you wishes Bucky would say something dumb to break the tension, like he usually does, but you're also kind of glad he's just here, next to you, a silent comfort.

It seems like hours have passed when you’re finally sure you can check them.

The first one is negative, and so is the second. The third, however, reads positive. Your heart begins racing, clutching at the counter, but before your hopes get too carried away you read the rest. To your dismay, they are all negative. You stare down at them all, eyes falling on the loan positive test multiple times, knowing that it’s likely a false positive, yet stupidly hoping otherwise.

Your chin wobbles. Bucky hugs you from behind, resting his cheek on your shoulder.

“What do I do, Bucky?”

At your broken whisper, he sighs. “I don’t know, sweetheart.”

Neither of you know what to say or do after that. Bucky continues offering quiet support, his solid presence at your back, and you’re grateful. Eventually, he leads you out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, sitting you down at the table as he starts preparing dinner.

When you’re both eating the spaghetti he made, he breaks the silence.

“Do you think…” he starts, pausing to think of how to phrase his question before carefully carrying on. “Are you going to stop?”

“I don’t want to,” you answer, the implied but hanging heavy in the air.

Bucky sits his fork down. “I know you want this, very much.” He pushes his hair out of his face as he leans forward, elbows settling on the table. “But I hate seeing how sad you get when the tests come out negative. I feel so… powerless. Like I could be doing more or something.”

“You’re doing all you can, Bucky,” you assure.

“That’s the thing, though. I don’t think I am.”

You frown. “What do you mean?”

He licks his lips, locking his fingers together. “I think we should have sex.”

Your fork drops to your plate with a clang, eyes going wide.

“I apologize for how blunt that came out,” he states with a wince. “But, I mean, think about it. You’ve only been using my sperm from a syringe, and up until the last time, you hadn’t been, um, orgasming with it.” You look away, bashful. “I just wonder if maybe trying the old-fashioned way would give you better results.”

“Bucky,” you start, opening and closing your mouth a couple times before shaking your head. “It’s one thing for you to offer your sperm, which I’m thankful for, truly, but… Having sex?”

“I’ve already told you I’m willing to do whatever I need to do,” he retorts earnestly. “Your happiness means a lot to me, okay? I hate sitting around and watching your heart break every week. You’ve tried it your way, now I think we should try mine.”

“I-I don’t know,” you hesitate, chewing on the inside of your cheek, knee beginning to bounce under the table.

His hand slides onto your knee, stilling the movement as he ducks his head to meet your gaze. His eyes are impossibly sincere and your resolve crumbles in an instant.

“It won’t… It’s not going to change anything,” he assures. “I won’t allow it.”

You swallow roughly. He may not, but your heart is going to take its toughest beating yet. It’s going to be hopeless trying to overcome the inevitable emotions that come with sex.

Even so, somehow, your longing for a baby eclipses all of this. Now that you’ve imagined holding your child in your arms, raising them and loving them, you can’t go back. Not anymore.

“Okay,” you allow, softly.

Bucky’s shoulders relax, lips tipping up into a devastating smile.

You’re so fucked. (Pun intended.)

***

Two nights later, you’re pacing in your bedroom, impatiently waiting for Bucky to arrive. You’d been unsure whether or not you should dress up. You didn’t see the point, honestly. Still, a small part of you wondered what his reaction would be if he saw you all done up in lingerie. At the moment, you’re in an oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts.

It’s Bucky, you think, and this isn’t a normal situation, it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing.

You hear his key turning in the lock then and your heart begins hammering away. He calls your name as he enters.

“In here,” you reply, twisting your fingers nervously.

He walks into your room looking just as on edge as you are. He also seems to have had the same idea about his attire, comfortable in his white tee and sweatpants. His feet are bare and for whatever reason that feels way more intimate than it has any right to.

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hi.”

You bite your lip, eyes flitting around your room and coming back to settle on Bucky. He huffs.

“This is ridiculous,” he declares, “It’s just us.”

“Right,” you nod, biting the inside of your cheek.

“It’s not gonna be weird.”

“Nope.”

His jaw ticks. You stare back at him. It only takes a moment for you to realize that somebody has to make the first move, so you steel yourself and turn on your heel, walking towards your bed.

“I’m keeping my shirt on,” you announce as you unceremoniously drop onto the mattress, grabbing your pillows to stuff them under you.

Bucky follows at a sedate pace, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. He pauses next to you, taking a second to roll his shoulders, then he climbs in and settles in front of your bent legs. He gingerly places his hands on your knees.

“May I?” he asks.

Mouth suddenly dry, you nod. He moves his hands to the waistband of your shorts and tugs. You lift your hips to help him slide them down and off, along with your underwear. Gently, he spreads your legs.

Your breathing has picked up considerably, eyes firmly trained on the ceiling. You know you’re already wet and are blessedly thankful he doesn’t mention it.

The first slide of his fingers has you inhaling sharply. He slowly gathers your slick and trails it up to your clit, lightly circling it. Your mind recalls your fantasy, but you quickly shove it back to the depths of your thoughts, lest you do something idiotic like tell him about it.

He spreads your legs more, adjusting his position between them. His fingers move down until he can sink one into you. You gasp, hands shooting out to grasp your sheets. He wastes no time and begins thrusting his finger inside you.

It becomes quickly apparent to you that it’s going to be very difficult to hold back any noise or reactions. Goddamnit, you will try, though!

When he decides it’s time to add another finger, you feel yourself clench around them, and his soft fuck does not go unnoticed, evident in the way your pussy traitorously clenches again.

“Can I…?” he asks, voice cracking, but doesn’t finish his thought, making you have to break your staring contest with the ceiling and look at him.

He’s not even looking back at you, he’s staring at his fingers, watching them pump in and out of you, half bent over with a slack jaw, like he wants to…

He meets your eyes then, licking his lips.

Oh.

Swallowing around the sudden lump in your throat, knowing you’re probably going to regret it, you nod.

He’s leaning over and sucking on your clit before you can even blink. You cry out, thighs trying to clamp around his head, but his free hand shoots out to hold you open. It makes you squirm, fisting the sheets even tighter. His fingers curl inside you as his tongue licks around them and you whine, high and needy, and then mouth is back on your clit, tongue swiping over it, sucking on it with loud, obscene noises.

His hand comes up to grab the hem of your shirt, shoves it upward until it’s bunched underneath your breasts. Those fingers ghost back down your torso, goosebumps erupting in their wake.

He speeds up his thrusts and your hand flies down to grip his hair. You don’t think you’re meant to hear the quiet grunt he lets out, but you do, and it has you panting even harder. Your orgasm is building, fast, and you pull on his hair in warning.

“Bucky,” you say on a gasp.

Using his arm to hold you down, his free hand joins, thumb swiping over your clit now as he dips his head to slide his tongue in alongside his fingers. It draws a yell out of you, the ever expanding pleasure within you bursting into the hardest orgasm you’ve experienced thus far in your adult life. You know you’re moaning, bucking into the sensations coursing through you, and you’d feel abashed if you didn’t feel so fucking good.

Before you can become too sensitive, Bucky withdraws his fingers and sits up. You can’t even really catch your breath, though, because in the next second he’s whipping his t-shirt off and shoving his sweatpants down far enough to free his cock.

Your thighs do clamp closed then, at the sight of how thick he is, and he tries and fails to keep his smirk hidden.

“Oh, shut up,” you wheeze.

“Didn’t say anything,” he counters.

He doesn’t let you argue, choosing that moment to shuffle closer and line up with your opening. Cautiously, he eases himself inside, inch by inch. Your mouth drops open, brows furrowing as he fills you, stretching you so perfectly. When he’s in as far as he can go, the breath wooshes out of him, his head falling back. You know he’s trying to be polite and let you adjust, but—

“Oh my god, move,” you demand, impatient.

He huffs a laugh, dropping his heavy lidded gaze to yours. “Bossy.”

“Did you really expect anything else—oh!”

The grin he aims your way after grinding into you is downright sinful. You mentally tell yourself to kick him for that later.

He grabs your hips and the pillows and settles you closer to his lap, changing the angle, then pulls out and glides back in, creating a painstakingly slow rhythm.

You have to close your eyes. You can’t look at him anymore. You knew he was probably a god in bed, but to now have firsthand experience? There was no way you’d be able to fuck anyone else without comparing them.

His grip on your hips tightens, the only warning you get before his thrusts turn sharp.

“Fuck,” you cry out, your hands reaching up to grip the pillow beneath your head.

The sound of your skin meeting his is harsh in the otherwise quiet room. Well, okay, you’re not exactly being quiet, but you can’t be blamed for that.

Bucky, however, is nearly silent. The only thing you hear from him is heavy breathing. You wonder if he’s holding back, the thought crossing your mind for a split second, and then you’re clenching around his cock, trying to see if you can gain a reaction. And boy, do you get one.

He grunts and sucks in a breath, lips parting as his eyes squeeze shut. His hips pick up their pace and hair falls into his face. You find yourself wishing he was closer so you could brush it out of the way.

Stop it, you scold yourself.

He pauses to grind into you again, your walls fluttering around his throbbing cock, and you both sigh. Bucky leans forward, hooking your legs into the crooks of his elbows, and resumes his brutal pace.

“O-Oh,” you whimper.

The new angle is heavenly, his cock dragging along a spot inside you that you thought nobody else could find. Unable to help yourself, you clutch at his arms, nails digging in.

“Shit,” he groans, thrusts faltering.

He lets go of one of your legs to slip his hand between you, rubbing at your clit and sending you that much closer to your second orgasm. He can tell you’re close, but you’re gonna need something to push you over the edge. He leans down even closer, breath fanning out against your cheek.

“C’mon,” he pants. “Let go.”

You shiver when his tongue flicks your earlobe and sucks it into his mouth, keening as the pressure builds. He thrusts harder, faster, and when you grasp his hair and pull, he growls and latches on to your shoulder, biting down. You gasp from the added pain and then you’re coming, shuddering and whining through your release. Bucky isn’t far behind, raising up and fucking into you savagely before pausing abruptly, groaning as he finally comes. He lazily thrusts a few more times to draw it out, then stops, stilling with his cock inside you.

Your hair is sticking to your forehead, as well as your shirt to your clammy back, breathing in lungfuls of air. Bucky is softly caressing your thighs, letting out shaky breaths as your pussy continues to flutter around him.

It takes several moments for you to gather your wits, for the rest of the world to come filtering back in. You are truly and completely fucked now, in every sense of the word.

“Well…” You trail off, voice scratchy.

“That was…”

“Mhm,” you mumble.

Bucky sighs heavily. “Let’s hope it worked this time.”

You hum. “Thank you for your service,” you reply with a lazy salute.

You yelp when he pinches your hip, kicking at him in retaliation. The jostling reminds you, with a gasping groan, that he’s still buried balls deep inside you.

“Um.” You cough lightly. “You wanna, you know… pull out?”

He looks down where you’re connected like it hadn’t even dawned on him. “Oh, uh. Well, I thought maybe it could, like. Help.”

His gaze stays locked, fingers flexing on your hips, and you feel like squirming again.

“I think it’s good,” you say quietly.

Bucky finally glances back up at your shy tone, cheeks pinking. He clears his throat.

“Right.”

Carefully, he eases his softening cock out of you, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from making a noise.

You can’t hold back yours, though, gasping once he’s gone. You feel unbearably empty, but refrain from voicing that incessant thought.

Bucky’s intense eyes stare at your pussy until you reach for the throw blanket next to you. He watches you throw it over your lap, drawing your legs up to your chest, and takes that as his cue, jolting into action.

“Okay, so.” He starts, then stops, climbs off your bed and pulls his sweatpants back up. “This was—I mean, if it doesn’t take this time, we can… try again.”

“Yeah,” you mutter. “Sounds good.”

He nods, bending to pick up his discarded t-shirt. “Great. I’ll just, um, see myself out, I guess.”

You nod, sending a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes in his direction. He seems to contemplate something for a second, then leans down to kiss your forehead before saying a quick goodbye and leaving.

As soon as you hear your apartment door shut, you let your tears fall.

***

It’s not really like you mean to avoid him after that.

Honest.

You simply become busy, that’s all. You definitely don’t go out of your way by taking the stairs in your apartment building to avoid possibly bumping into him in the elevator. No, you take the stairs because you could use the cardio. It’s important you stay healthy right now. And when he texts you to ask if you want to have dinner, you can’t help that you’ve got boatloads of work to catch up on—all five times he asks.

Okay, so, that’s a lie. You’re totally avoiding him. But what on earth are you supposed to say to him now? You don’t think you’d even be able to look him in the eye anymore, not after the fuck of your goddamn life.

That night confirmed what you already knew for the last two years: Bucky absolutely ruined you for anyone else.

More than anything, though, you were angry with yourself. He’d only offered because you weren’t getting your desired results the other way. You should have been able to separate your feelings and emotions from all of it. After all, none of this was about whatever you feel towards Bucky. This was about trying to conceive a baby.

You try telling yourself to get over it. He’s your best friend, you can’t just cut him off because you’re a spineless pansy.

I just need some time, you reason. You can give yourself a few days to wallow over what could have been and then you can reach out to him and pretend like everything is fine. Because it is.

***

Flash forward two weeks to you attempting to sneak into your apartment, only to jump out of your skin when you turn around and find Bucky sitting on your couch, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Oh, good, you’re still alive,” he drawls.

His tone suggests annoyance. You suppose you deserve that.

“Hey,” you say after a pause.

He stares at you for a moment longer before speaking again. “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t let it get weird.”

You agreed, you almost say, thankfully biting it back. You drop your purse on the entryway table, sliding your shoes off and making your way over to sit next to him.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. You tug your sweater sleeves down and tuck your feet beneath you. “I haven’t ever… I’ve never been intimate with a friend before. It was just… a lot.”

It’s a half truth, at least. You haven’t had sex with a friend before. Or, well, not one you had feelings for.

“You could’ve just told me,” he replies, reaching for your hand.

You nod. “I know, and I should have, I just. Things are all out of whack lately with the whole… trying to get pregnant thing.”

“If I overstepped in any way—” Bucky starts, but you’re quick to interrupt.

“You didn’t,” you promise. “You’ve been nothing but fantastic throughout this whole ordeal. Honestly, Bucky, you’ve done way more than anyone else would have in this situation. I just had a lot going on in my head and let it get the best of me. I’m fine, I swear.”

He searches your eyes and must find what he’s looking for.

“Don’t shut me out again,” he pleads.

Heart cracking in your chest, you can only nod, shuffling closer to pull him into a hug. He buries his face in your neck and holds on tight.

***

Another week passes.

Bucky is with you as you wait for the results of the latest pregnancy test. He’s reassured you that you’ll keep trying until it happens if it didn’t work this time.

When the timer on your phone goes off, you release the breath you’ve been holding. You take tentative steps over to the sink and gingerly pick up the test.

Positive.

Your stomach swoops. It’s positive. You check again, reading the digitized screen, but it stays the same. Positive. Holy shit.

“Okay, wait, no, I need to do more. I can’t get my hopes up again,” you mutter, rushing to open the cabinet under your sink to dig out several more varieties of tests.

You don’t even wait for Bucky to leave before you’re peeing on the other sticks. He’s seen it all at this point anyway, and he doesn’t seem to care, sitting on the edge of your tub with an anxious expression. The downside is that you have to wait another few minutes for these tests to finish and you can’t sit still, pacing back and forth in the small space of your bathroom.

The timer goes off again. You feel like you’re going to throw up when you finally work up the courage to look down.

Every single one of them… Positive.

A shocked, happy laugh escapes you. You cover your mouth, turning to Bucky with wide eyes.

He rises to his full height, coming closer and peering down at the tests, then back to your teary eyed expression.

“Did we…?”

Words failing you, you nod, giggling in astonishment. Bucky’s face breaks into the biggest, handsomest, most gut-wrenching smile. His happiness is palpable and you’re suddenly so overcome with emotion. Your hands are gripping his face and angling it to align your lips to his before you register what you’re doing. He freezes and you hurriedly pull away, taking a few steps back.

“I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know why—”

“Shut up,” he cuts you off, closing the gap between you in a single stride.

He kisses you like his life depends on it, pressing your bodies as close as possible, his hands cupping your cheeks. You clutch his shirt desperately, never wanting to let go. He steals the breath straight from your lungs when he swipes at the seam of your lips with his tongue, moaning happily when you allow him access. A feeble whine from you after he flicks his tongue against yours makes him break the kiss.

“I have a confession,” he breathes into the miniscule space between your mouths.

“What?” you question distractedly.

“I’m in love with you.”

Your gaze shoots up to his, astounded. He brushes stray hairs off your forehead, runs his thumbs softly under your eyes.

“I’ve been selfish this whole time,” he reveals. “I couldn’t let you choose some random stranger to be your sperm donor, to father your child, couldn’t bear the thought of you carrying their baby, because I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you. I wanted to be the one. And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but I’m not sorry I did it.”

You’re hearing the words, yet your brain can’t seem to make sense of them. Surely you’re hearing him wrong. You can’t possibly have this too, right? You can't have Bucky and have his baby…

But he’s here, very real and solid beneath your hands, looking at you like you’re his entire world.

“Bucky…” You trail off, struggling to find the right words, at a complete loss. “I-I’ve loved you for so long now, I didn’t think you…” You shake your head, a giggle escaping you as you stare at him in wonder. “I couldn’t let myself hope.”

He grins, relieved, planting a few chaste kisses to your mouth. “I know this entire circumstance is totally backwards, but I want you, and I want this baby. I meant it when I said I’m not going anywhere.”

Fresh tears gather in the corners of your eyes. “Are you sure?” you still ask.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

You have to kiss him then, uncaring of the tears that trickle down your face. The only thing you are focused on is the way his hands trail down your back, pausing to squeeze your ass, then grip underneath to lift you. Your legs wrap around his waist, arms locked around his neck, as he heads for your bed. He makes a point of throwing your extra pillows on the floor before settling between your thighs and kissing the hell out of you.

He pulls away only to undress you and himself, but he’s always back as quickly as possible, lips pressing kisses wherever he can reach. You impatiently tug at him until his lips are attached to yours again. The way he fucks his tongue into your mouth is nothing short of indecent and it sends a rush of pure want all the way to your core.

When you bury your fingers in his hair, gripping it tight, he grunts, biting your lip. You whimper and he grins as he pulls away.

“You make the most beautiful sounds,” he praises, his hands beginning to sweep down and up, tickling under your breasts.

His thumb and forefinger pinch one of your nipples and you gasp, back arching off your mattress. He repeats it on the other side, just to hear the same noise.

“Bucky, please,” you beg.

“Please what?” he prods. His hands drift further to the creases of your thighs, spreading them open. “What do you need?”

You whine, canting your hips up. “You, I need you, please.”

“You have me, sweetheart.” He tilts his head and you make a noise of frustration. “Use your words, darlin’.”

“Fuck me, please,” you burst out, feeling your pussy clench around nothing.

Bucky smiles, slow and torturous. “Yeah? Want me to fuck you? Fuck this perfect pussy until you’re so full of my come that it drips down your beautiful thighs?”

“Oh god,” you mumble.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he teases.

His fingers slide down your slit, gathering your slick then thrusts two fingers in at once. You groan brokenly, shifting your hips to try and get more friction, but he holds them down with his metal arm. Agonizingly slow, he begins fucking you with his fingers. It’s good, it’s amazing, but it’s not enough. Not when you know what his cock feels like. He takes his precious time fingering you and you’re sure you’re going to lose your mind before the day is done.

“You have no idea how incredible you felt around my cock,” he tells you in a ridiculously conversational tone. “I was trying to think of any excuse I could come up with to have you at least one more time.”

He shifts until his mouth is directly above where you’re dripping for him, and he waits until you make eye contact with him.

“But now I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making you come apart on my cock any chance I get.”

You hardly have any functioning brain cells at the moment, but even if you could form a coherent sentence you wouldn’t have been able to say it aloud, because then he’s descending and all you can feel is the wet warmth of his mouth.

He definitely doesn’t hold back this time, that much is apparent in the way he devours you, lips and tongue drawing out noises you’ve never heard yourself make, pressing his face so far into your pussy that he has to come up for air. His mouth and chin shine when you chance a look down, and when you clench on his fingers his smile goes smug at the corners.

He plants kisses along your hips, the insides of your thighs, around where his fingers are buried within you. He curls them, in search of the spot he found last time. He knows he found it when you try to close your thighs around his head and cry out. Now that he's found it, he angles to brush it on every thrust of his fingers and attaches his mouth back on your clit.

You chant his name, nearly sobbing as you approach your climax, until finally you fly over the edge. Your vision blurs and you’re not sure if you’re making any noise now, unable to hear past the blood rushing in your ears. Bucky helps you ride it out until you’re shuddering from sensitivity.

He kisses your thighs again, trailing them up your stomach and between the valley of your breasts.

“So good, did so well,” he mutters.

Weakly, you lift your hands to trace them down his toned stomach and around his back, down further so you can cop a feel of your own, smiling at his grunt of surprise.

“That was great and all,” you say, arching your back so your chest presses against his, “but I do believe I asked you to fuck me.”

He arches an eyebrow. “Who said I was done with you?” It’s apparently a rhetorical question, as he continues before you get a chance to reply. “I’m gonna fuck you until you come, and then I’m gonna keep fucking you until you come again, and only then will I come so deep inside you there’ll be zero doubt I’ve put a baby there.”

Your legs are lifted and thrown over his shoulders in a blink, his cock pushing into your pussy, dragging out a high-pitched moan from you. There’s barely a pause and then he’s fucking you, just like you asked. The pace is brutal right from the start, a steady rhythm that has you mewling and writhing in pleasure. Bucky is watching his cock as he thrusts in and out of you, his mouth hanging open slightly as he pants. He hikes your hips up a little higher and you jolt through your startled moan. This angle is divine and the telltale signs of your second orgasm start tingling at the base of your spine.

“Can feel you,” Bucky says through panting breaths, “so close. C’mon, let me feel you.”

He pulls you down on his cock, grinding into you, his thumb reaching to rub tight circles over your clit. You sob through your release, shuddering against Bucky as you clench around him. He groans, still barely moving as you come down from your high.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “Come here.”

He helps you sit up, still seated on his cock, making you both hiss from your movement. Your arms automatically wrap around his shoulders and his around your waist. He kisses you so sweetly, a stark contradiction to the way he just fucked you. When you pull away, resting your foreheads together, he grins.

“Hi.”

You crack a smile. “Hi.”

“Ready for more?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You think you got it in you?” you tease as you play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

The light smack to your ass startles you and you let out a soft sound of surprise, hands tugging his hair harshly. Bucky’s eyes light up.

“Interesting,” he muses.

Another slap, a little harder than the first, and you’re whimpering, your walls clenching around his still hard cock.

“I’ll play with that later,” he promises, voice breathy.

You bury your face in his neck and start shifting your hips. He takes the hint, gathering you as close as he can and thrusts up into you. He can’t pull out as far this way, but the snap of his hips more than makes up for it. You mouth at his collarbone messily, kissing and licking your way up to his jaw, biting marks wherever you see fit. You make it up to his mouth and he kisses you, wet and filthy. You suck on his tongue and a ragged moan claws its way out of his throat. The need for air eventually has you pulling away.

“It’s a good thing you love me back,” you whisper in his ear. “Nobody else could ever compare to you.”

He growls, fisting your hair and yanking your head back to look him in the eye.

“Nobody will ever compare,” he corrects.

You moan. “Yes,” you agree, whining, “No one else could’ve given me a baby.”

Bucky thrusts harder and faster at your words. You’re picking up on a few hints and you can’t say it’s not doing it for you either.

“Filled me up so good, fucked me so well. Gonna be round with your baby soon.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he keens, hurrying to lay you flat on your back so he can fuck into you easier.

The sound of skin meeting skin fills the room, your cries of pleasure mixing in with Bucky’s grunts and curses. His grip on you tightens almost painfully as he chases both your and his orgasm. You’re sure to have bruises tomorrow and you already know you'll be poking at them to remember this moment.

“C’mon, baby, wanna feel you too,” you beg.

His thumb finds your swollen clit once more. It’s beyond sensitive now, feels like a shockwave coursing through you, and without any warning, you come. You spasm around Bucky and he swears under his breath, thrusts going sloppy. With a final groan, he comes inside you, his hips moving seemingly on their own as he draws out both your pleasures. Slowly, he comes to a stop, but he leaves his cock buried in you like he did last time.

You know you’re gonna feel too empty when he does pull out, so you don’t mind sitting like this for a while. Bucky softly runs his hands across every inch of your skin he can touch and you bask in the affection. You card your fingers through his sweaty hair, smiling when he hums happily. It takes only a minute for you to notice the way his hands migrate to your stomach, and when you do you kiss his shoulder.

“Maybe we should go again later,” you suggest faintly.

Bucky grins. “We can do it a hundred more times if you want.”

“Guess I better enjoy it while I can.”

His smile goes soft at the edges.

It’s not lost on you how incredibly crazy all of this is. There will undoubtedly be a conversation, a much needed one that isn’t going to be simple or easy, but it’s necessary.

For now, though, you bask in Bucky’s warmth and loving embrace.

***

Keys jingle as they unlock the door and you perk up where you’re sprawled on the couch. Bucky enters, arms laden with bags from the convenience store.

“They didn’t have the banana ice cream you asked for,” he announces, continuing before your pout fully forms, “but they did have the double chocolate brownie kind you love so much, so I got that, as well as the sour gummy worms, beef jerky, and fried pickles from the deli on your list of demands.”

“What about—”

“And your strawberry Fanta,” he adds with a fond, slightly exasperated smile.

You’re unable to stop your expression from going soft and dreamy.

Ever since you and Bucky figured out where to go with your relationship, he’s been even more attentive and accommodating (and that’s saying something).

You expressed your worry about the possibility of something going wrong, that one or both of you would get bored and leave, or there’d be a big fight that neither of you could forgive. He was quick to reassure you of his commitment, told you there was no way he would ever get bored of you, and that as long as you both promise to talk things out in a calm, mature way, then you’d be alright.

It all sounded so easy when it was put like that. The more you thought about it, though, the more you realized he was right. It wasn’t fair to either of you to already give up before you’d even started. So you’d taken a deep breath and leaped.

Now, you’re five and a half months in, your belly steadily growing and making everyday life increasingly uncomfortable. The changes to your body were physically and emotionally draining, to say the least. Moreso the emotional side. You’d hoped you wouldn’t be one of those pregnant women with strange cravings, and for the most part they were pretty tame, but you do like to dip your sour gummy worms in banana ice cream. Bucky didn’t attempt to hide his disgust over that.

“What did I do to deserve you?” you ask on a pleased sigh.

He places your small cornucopia of goods on the coffee table. You sit up, huffing for breath during the struggle. You go to reach for the ice cream first, but Bucky catches your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and kissing your knuckles as he kneels in front of you.

“You were yourself. Smart, kind, selfless, unbelievably sexy.” You snort at that, but he’s undeterred. “And you’re giving me the best gift I could ever dream of. A family.”

Instantly, you’re crying. He’s grown accustomed to the mood swings by now, taking it in stride as he wipes away the tears with gentle hands.

“Stop being so disgusting,” you blubber through your hiccuping cries. “You’re such an asshole.”

Bucky laughs. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

You sniffle, kissing him. “Love you,” you grumble.

He leans down and plants the softest of kisses to your belly. “And I love you, little lady.”

The idea of you having a child one day always seemed foreign and unlikely, but life has a way of turning out exactly how it’s supposed to… And you wouldn’t change a thing.

#avengers fic #marvel fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #bucky x you #i can't remember how to tag bye

[envy-of-the-apple]

Do you or your followers have any recommendations for some good SatoSugu x Reader fics here on tumblr or ao3? It feels like I've read all the good ones out there (yours included, which are all amazing btw 💕) but maybe there are a few that have slipped under my radar and escaped my notice. lol

idk that many either! ik i rave about satosugu poly fics buuuut i don't read that many! its mainly cuz there's not a long which is a little surprising!

but here are my favs! (if anyone else wants to add on pls pls do so!)

Like Hoarded Gold (Dark) - @inorganicone2230

Dark! Satosugu, where they manipulate the MC and isolate the MC into basically relying on them for everything. It's hilarious because the satosugu have healthy boundaries with each other but they are totally fine with manipulating and gaslighting the mc into staying with them. It's super dark, creepy, and just overall amazing!!!

Obsessed (Dark) - @kkatsukiswife

okay fine not technically satosugu buuuut it's so so good so pls read!!! it's fem!gojo dark sapphic fic so you know its amazing. basically the mc is fem!suguru's ex and satoru gets jealous cuz of how perfect the mc is but then ends up obsessing over the mc too. so ig it kinda counts as satosugu cuz suguru and the mc used to date!

Welcome Home - NovaRising

satosugu +sukuna but still counts imo. mc grandfather passes away so they go back to Japan only to realize three strangers are living in their grandfathers house. Super super good! I know it's technically not completed buuuut imo the story is perfect as it is!

Surprise! - @thee-horny-thicky

amazing!!!! i love it so so much!!! mc is suguru's gf but they both go back to visit satoru in japan and things escalate from there. And the author did mention that more satosugu threesome fics were being planned so lets cross our fingers!!!!!

Nurture(Dark) - @yandere-daydreams

There is a first part, but its satoru-centric. The story is told in alternating flashbacks where suguru is the mc's past and satoru is the mc's present (for now). I especially love it cuz the mc is older (like mid-thirties). it's so refreshing cuz typically the mc is always like late teens and early twenties. This fic actually inspired Monsoon! I totally forgot to add that in the a/n

honorable mentions

Stuck in Jogo's body - 2BeorNot2Be

once again not a satosugu fic but this is so underrated despite the amazing idea??? its exactly what it sounds, reader swaps bodies with jogo and has to pair up with gojo to figure out how to undo the swap. it's so amazing pls go read I'm begging you!!!!!

#yandere #yandere jjk #dark jjk #fic recs

[mykinkyyandere]

Yandere Sully Family

AO3

Pairings: Yandere/Dark! Sully Family X Human Pet! f!Reader

Summary: General headcanons about yandere Sully family and their human pet.

Warnings: Possible +18 implies, yandere, dark, obsession, possession, controlling behaviours, dehumanization, human!pet reader, forced age regressed reader, forced age regression, kidnapped reader, naive!reader, forced family, forced baths, no privacy to the reader, mentally weird family, possible missed warnings

A/N: Tuk & reader are not and will never be sexually portrayed together, pls don't you ever think that. Kiri, Neteyam, Lo'ak, Spider and the reader are not minors. I'm calling them kids because they have parents and they live together, so. Some subconscious platonic & romantic dubcon/noncon can be sensed, it's a yandere family after all. You've been warned.

What a beautiful little human you are. Needs a mask to survive, oww... Why were you even there? Cute little creature... looking so lost and scared. What a vulnerable, delicate pet! They all love you so, so much, you can be sure of that. So stop crying, it doesn't suit you. There's no point in you crying and begging for them to take you home. There's no way they can understand you unless you don't speak English or Na'vi. They love it when you speak, since they don't understand whether you curse or beg. All they hear is your sweet voice and weird words.

It doesn't make any difference if you speak English anyway. They just sush you immediately. Neytiri and Jake give you some gentle punishments if you happen to curse. Doesn't matter if one of the kids snitches on you or you curse directly to their face. They're afraid of hurting you, but they scare you by getting angry and hissing. Grabbing your tiny little arm and squeezing it or putting you somewhere high and not taking you down until you apologize works fine. Maybe some spanks on your butt too. But the whole "gentle" process is scary enough for you.

Neteyam punishes you by himself too. Since he sees himself as the responsible one and he's the oldest brother, he takes it as his duty to take care of you. He already gets orders from his father to keep an eye on his siblings and you, but he has this weird urge to make sure that you're bring a good girl. He's not the one who snitches on you, but he blackmails you, telling you to obey what he says or he'll tell his dad. He never gives you away, though. But you fall for that every time, how amusing. He lectures you in a serious tone and explains why you're not allowed to curse. Then he gives you a punishment like his father does to him. "No more speaking for the rest of the day, understood?" He needs to see if you behave. It's important for him to know that you see him as an authoritative figure. He wants to have an authority over you like his parents have over you and them.

Jake knows that some humans are weak in nature and they get scared very often, especially the little ones like you. After Jake tells Neytiri that you need some belongings in order to feel safe and it's just how human brain works, Neytiri refuses him to go and grab some for you. She wants to make them by herself, even though the concept of it is strange for her. Needing to cover yourself so you can feel safe and protected? She can hold you in her arms! Even though she can't understand, she makes a nonfunctional blanket. She wants to see you feel safe around "her" craft. After all, you need to feel safe around your new family and only around them. You belong to them, what do you mean you need outside belongings in order to feel safe? Isn't your family enough?

Jake finds a way to provide some of your human wants and needs anyway. And he knows that you have to stay in the base regularly. Humans can't just live outside constantly. He knows he can trust Spider for keeping you safe and "secured". Jake discusses this with Neytiri, the kids talk to their mom and make her see your point. She wants you with her all the time, it's so painful to let you go. But she eventually accepts, since all she wants is for you to stay with them without causing any troubles, and of course, for you to be happy and healthy. Neytiri also builds a nest for you because apparently it's necessary for your emotional comfort and Jake, of course, makes some "small" changes. Neytiri is not happy about them but again, Jake knows humans better than anyone else.

The family just want to fill your growling tummy with lots of delicious human-friendly food, hold you in their arms, pet your soft little body, tuck you in a handmade blanket (not actually warm since Pandora is hot enough) and give you a handmade stuffed animal or something because for them, it's highly possible that you get scared. Sometimes Tuk tells her mom that you're so timid. Kiri says you're so quiet. Lo'ak argues that you need to leave your nest more often and join him to explore the world around you. Neteyam thinks you're not capable of taking care of yourself and you need protection, that's why you should stay in your nest. Spider supports Lo'ak, but he knows you'll check every oportunity to run. He thinks Lo'ak would trust you too much and leave you alone for a while or stop watching you. He would never do that.

Neytiri washes you personally. She can do it in front of anyone, doesn't matter. You're her baby and you can't do it on your own. You're just so weak and... it's so complex for you. It's not something to be scared of, why are you crying? Why are your cheeks get red everytime? Maybe she needs Jake to help. If he's not around Kiri, Neteyam or Lo'ak can help their mom very well. It's not their first time holding you in their arms while Neytiri washes you. You just need someone to hold you, right? "Shh... Just breathe, just breathe..." They say while their mom cleans you.

You don't wear human clothes. Neytiri covers your private areas similar to theirs. Similar to Spider, but you wear special materials. She doesn't understand why you make a fuss when she makes you wear them. "Kiri! Hold her." Kiri totally ignores how naked you are and pulls you in her lap after sitting on the ground. "Shh... It's okay." She whispers into your ear while her mother holds your leg. "Neteyam, bring her... MaJake, what was it called?" You scream and try to kick her but she hisses and makes you whimper. "It's pacifier, baby."

But she understands why you make a fuss when Spider tries to paint your body like his. Although she'd like to see you as one of them, she doesn't like Spider a bit. She looks at Jake. "I don't want him around my baby, he belongs with his own kind." Then she hisses at Spider, wanting to grab you, but Lo'ak defends him. He stands between Spider and his mom, trying to convince her. "No, no! It was my idea. She'll look so cute in blue, trust me." Then Tuk says. "Pleaseee!" Neytiri doesn't want to upset her kids and lets Spider to paint you, only to wash you afterwards.

Spider is a human born, yes, but mentally this guy's a true Na'vi. You were excited to see him for the first time, hoping he'd help you out of this messed up situation. But he came out as sick as the others. He's feral, he paints himself, he covers only one part of his body, he hisses... Human body, Na'vi mind. You're so shocked about it. Why would anyone do this willingly? Why would he want to be one of them? Did they brainwash him? No, no... He was sick already!

You're just beyond upset because you were so close to escape when you met this crazy family. While running around, you saw Spider and you thought you could trust him. He's a human, after all. Instead of keep running, you stopped and let him grasp your arms. You thought he was just worried because you were crying. You ignored his tight grip. You begged him to save you. "Hey, hey... Don't cry, okay? I'll help you. C'mon, this way!" Then he brought you to his "brother" Lo'ak. You've never felt so betrayed before. Apparently Spider was looking for you with the rest of the family. "Thanks bro!" Lo'ak said and wrapped one of his arms around you, while the other went to his neck. "Devil Dog, Devil Dog, this is Eagle Eye, over." ... "Spider found her, she's with me."

Jake was also a human once, but it was a very long time ago. He feels like he's born and raised in Pandora. He sees himself as one of them, not a human. His human life wasn't... well, perfect. Even though he was lost and didn't know who he was before, he later found his true purpose. "A father protects. It's what gives him meaning." You are his family too, except... you're more like a little pet to him. He doesn't see you as a fellow human or an equal. You're just one of the sky people, except you're innocent and naive. You could never hurt even the smallest flower. That's why he wants to protect you. He wants to protect your pure heart and pure mind.

And that's why Eywa loves you too. Everyone is aware of that Eywa watches over you. They know it since the first time they saw you. They witness it every time woodsprites lay on you. But especially Kiri, she can almost feel that Eywa loves you. She can't explain it, she just knows it. It makes Kiri push closer to you, she can feel the bond between you getting stronger because of this. Kiri loves to show you the world through her eyes. She wants you to see and feel Eywa the way she does. Expect a lot of spirutal trips with her. You want to run while she lays down and zooms out, but Spider always comes with you to keep an eye on you.

Kiri is the spiritual one, you coded her like that. She always says something about Eywa whenever she's with you. You can relax a little around her since she doesn't tire you. All she wants is for you to listen. She takes your tiny hand and place it on your heart. "Close your eyes." Then she keeps talking and explaining the world around you. You often fall asleep with her. Then one of them carries you to your nest.

Lo'ak is the careless one, at least, to an extent. He's also your chance to escape. He often tries to steal you from them and take you with him. "We're gonna have so much fun together." Sometimes you go to him and pull his arm, pointing the forest. You want to go very often. Spider, of course knows what's happening unlike Lo'ak. You wanna go alone and get mad whenever Spider or someone else wants to join. You try to push Spider and yell. "Whoa, whoa... Calm down. It's not gonna happen."

Tuk is the tiring one. She just wants to play with you all the time. Please jump around with her and play like her age. When you sit and do nothing, which happens all the time, she complains. "C'monnn, get up! Why are you doing this?" She pulls your arm and makes you stand up, but you sit back and turn around. You're so stubborn.

Neteyam is the responsible one, you can say. He's always around and always checking on you and his siblings. Partly because his father demands it, but mostly because he wants to do it. But you notice him paying exta attention to you. He often gives you some food and kneels, watches you as you slowly bite it and look at his eyes. He expects a thank you and you give him. He thought you how to act in certain situations. He loves to pet your head and smile. "Let's lay down together. You can sleep on my chest."

Neytiri is the possessive one. She's already very protective of her family and she's extremely jealous of you. You're like her adoptive child, but not quite like Kiri. She sees Kiri as an intelligent being and equal to her children. You're totally like a reactive human... doll or something. She literally treats you like a brainless pet and she makes you feel like you don't have any capacity of thinking by yourself. You hate it so much. She expands her arms and nearly babytalks to you while smiling. "Come, my baby. Come to me."

Jake is the leader in your eyes. You notice how he leads his family. He knows how to be strategic and how to make a move. After all, he was a marine. Neytiri wants to attack right away, but Jake stops her and explains why they should wait or do something else. And he shows his leader side by wanting to make sure you have everything. Is your nest comfortable for a human? Are you healthy for a human? How much do you sleep? He makes sure that you meet your human needs. He places you in his lap and checks your body to see if there's any injuries. He touches it gently and examines every part of your body. You yelp and struggle in his arms. "Shh... easy, baby girl. We're so grumpy today, huh?"

Spider technically isn't family, but... he is actually. Neytiri hates dislikes him, Neteyam has his own priorities, Jake has other stuff to think about and Tuk simply couldn't care less. That's all. This situation doesn't seem to bother him, though. He just wants to hang out with Lo'ak and Kiri. And you. He's the watcher. Always, always makes sure that you're not running away. You hate him. "Hey, where are you going?"

Each of them is creepy in their own way. But what they have in common is somehow you. It's like you're their center. Joy, anxiety, sadness, love, passion... everything converges on you. You have no idea why they're so obsessed with you and if you'll ever manage to escape. But honestly, you don't have much hope. You slowly let them brainwash you and make you their pet in time. Maybe the only way to move on is by giving up. "Sullys stick together. That was our greatest weakness, and our great strength."

#yandere sully family #yandere avatar #yandere avatar the way of water #yandere neytiri #yandere neteyam #yandere lo'ak #yandere tuk #yandere kiri #yandere jake sully #yandere spider #x reader #x you #human pet reader #doll reader #dark avatar #na'vi x human #na'vi x reader #x daughter reader #headcanons #fanfic #sully family #avatar

[milkpup]

｡⋆ʚ♡ like father, like son

›› chapter 3 ›› nsfw 18+ ongoing multi-chapter fic!

art by @g00miato (PLS GO CHECK OUT THEIR PROFILE OMGGGGG PLS IT'S SO GOOD)

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ʚ ao3 ɞ / ʚ kofi ɞ / ʚ fic masterlist ɞ

›› toji fushiguro x reader ›› megumi fushiguro x reader ›› toji x reader x megumi (mfm) ›› 18+ f!reader ›› started: 12/6/23 : updated: 1/29/24 : status: ongoing

‹𝟹 summary: You and Megumi are best friends. You've known eachother for almost your whole life. His home has become your second home. As time passes and life happens, Megumi slowly develops feelings for you, even though he's unaware of it. To complicate things further, you're now living with him and his father, who has also taken a liking to you.

‹𝟹 fandom: jjk, jujutsu kaisen

‹𝟹 genres / warnings: au - no powers, college au, power imbalance, pseudo-incest (they both want y/n, nothing w/ eachother), dubious consent

‹𝟹 tags: good cop bad cop, fluff, smut, angst, toji has a big dick, dilf toji, toji is his own warning, toji tries to be a good parent, toji is an asshole, toji is trying okay?, daddy dom toji, daddy kink, porn with feelings, porn with plot, friends to lovers, spit / spitting, spit kink, spit as lube, breeding, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, double vaginal pen, double pen, anal, making out, making love, love triangles, praise kink, degradation, light masochism, light sadism, emotional sex, cuckolding, jealousy, jealousy kink, smoking, smoking kink, emotional manipulation, manipulation, polyamory?, father and son share you, protective megumi fushiguro, megumi needs a hug, megumi has a big dick, AGED UP CHARACTERS, dead dove: do not eat, finger sucking, large cock, cum swallowing, blow jobs, first time blow jobs, under desk blow jobs, fingerfucking, face sitting, face riding, 69, mutual masturbation, threesome mfm, lots of smut, loss of virginity

‹𝟹 notes: ch 5 is in the works, it's just taking me awhile bc i have a naoya fic i'm fixated on rn x-x enjoy!

!! - again, PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE CONTINUING - !!

! - ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ - !

Chapter 3: Innocence

--

Toji leaned against the balcony railing, smoking a cigarette. He clicked his tongue in annoyance. “What the fuck were these idiots up to?” He questions himself, thinking back on what he just witnessed.

You and Megumi, in your bed, asleep. This is normally of no concern to him, you both grew up together, often having sleepovers in each other’s rooms. But this time… it was different. Why were there clothes strewn about the floor? Why was he wrapping his arm against you, pressed against your naked form?

All these thoughts were plaguing his already troubled mind. But the most problematic thought came to him overbearingly: Why am I hard?

His large cock was straining against his sweatpants, making it unbearably hard to think clearly and rationally. He felt guilty. Guilty for thinking of you that way, for tarnishing his relationship with you, and for letting his mind wander about what you and his son did. As much as it stung his heart, his body was heating up. His cock begged to be released from its clothed prison.

He took another long drag of his cigarette. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Y/N is undeniably attractive, kind, and intelligent. Any man that didn’t fall for her would be a fool. He felt a twinge of jealousy as he thought about Megumi getting to you first.

But jealousy was not the only emotion that consumed him. He put out the cigarette and went back inside his room, sliding the balcony door shut.

He walks towards his shower in the adjacent bathroom, stripping as he’s walking towards the bathroom entrance. His large cock is fully exposed, and he’s about to go fuck his fists at the thought of you and his son.

He knows it’s wrong to already think of you in this way, but he doesn’t care. He’s a man who is a slave to his desires, no rationality could bring him back in the heat of the moment. He didn’t feel too guilty though, it’s not like he was doing anything with you. He was just thinking about you. That’s fine, right? I’d never touch her. What’s wrong with a little fantasy though?

The water is almost scalding hot. He turns it down slightly and steps inside. Toji wishes it was you here instead of his hand, but he’s unsure if he would cross that line.

His back is facing the water, his forearm is against the wall of the shower. He’s leaning on it for support as he fucks his hand, thinking about how beautiful you look, how your body is such a fucking tease, how Megumi gets to be close to you but not him.

He grunts, picking up speed. He doesn’t mind sharing you, but he wants to be your first. He’s jerking his cock praying to God that Megumi hadn’t taken that part of you yet. He wants it to be his.

He licks his lips, he’s going down the rabbit hole and losing his morality. If my son can have you, why can’t I? I can please her better, and I honestly deserve it.

He pumps his cock more, thinking about how you owe it to him after all. He took you in, fed you, clothed you, basically raised you… he’s thinking of collecting his debt now. While Toji tries his best to be a generally amiable guy, he can’t fully suppress his innate urge to be an asshole. He loves you, but maybe not in the way he should.

He moans, nearing the edge of his pleasure. “My sweet Y/N, fuck..ahh” He can’t even finish a sentence, cumming at the thought of taking what’s rightfully his, and maybe letting Megumi watch just for the thrill of it.

He turns around and lets the water wash away his sinful thoughts and actions, and finishes cleaning up.

It’s Friday night, but a little too late to go out and do anything. Tomorrow, he wants to take you out.

--

 Megumi wakes up earlier than you. He’s usually an early riser, but this time he was grateful he could look at the soft features on your face while you’re asleep. He would be way too embarrassed to watch you as intently if you were awake, he’s blushing even while you’re asleep. He doesn’t mean it in a creepy way at all, he just admires how beautiful and peaceful you seem while asleep.

You yawn and shift in the bed, and Megumi uses this as his cue that he should probably leave. He kisses you on your forehead, gets up and dresses himself, and silently lets himself out of your room.

He walks towards the living room, passing by his father’s room on the way. Toji isn’t in there, and Megumi finds him sifting through items in cupboards and in the fridge in the kitchen.

Toji is cursing himself silently, upset that he doesn’t have all the required ingredients to surprise Y/N with breakfast. Toji isn’t categorically an asshole, he wants to do nice things to spoil you but doesn’t know how. He figures this is a good idea since you usually take care of meals. He’s upset because now he has to waste time getting the ingredients, but he knows you like to sleep in on the weekends anyways.

Toji turns around and sees Megumi approaching the kitchen. “Oh hey, Megumi. Do you think Y/N would like omelettes or waffles more for breakfast? I’m trying to help her out a bit.” He smirks a bit.

“Probably waffles. I think she’s more of a sweet person.” Megumi replies, unsure why Toji even cares enough in the first place. I mean, Toji used to live off of takeout and instant food. Why is he suddenly interested in cooking? Megumi brushes it off. He doesn’t care that much anyways.

Megumi yawns as he walks towards the counter where the coffee pot is located. He starts brewing coffee as Toji moves towards the front door, grabbing his keys on the way out.

--

Toji returns, bags of food in hand as Megumi sips on his black coffee. He works his way to the kitchen, setting down the bags and begins to unpack them. He has to rush if he wants to make the food look presentable enough for you.

Megumi silently watches his father hastily beating eggs and flour together to make a batter. He notices so much effort on Toji’s part, it’s unsettling.

--

You wake to find the other side of your bed is empty, a little bit sad at the thought that Megumi got up before you. You yawn, slip out of bed, and pick out something to get dressed in. You still need to shower, since you passed out after... that.

Your face flushes immediately as the thoughts of last evening come flooding back to you. Heat pools between your legs, remembering the feel of his touch against your body.

You ignore your uninvited thoughts as you make your way to the bathroom to clean up a bit. You’ll shower after breakfast though. Fuck, I hope they’re not waiting for me to make something for them. I definitely slept in a little late. You rush to finish getting ready and exit the bathroom.

Your cinnamoroll slippers flop as you make your way to the kitchen, stifling a tiny yawn. You smell something cooking, but Megumi is sitting on the couch watching something. So that means, Toji is cooking?

He notices the soft patter of your footsteps and turns around as he finished putting the last of the batter in the waffle maker. He grins, “Good morning, Y/N. I figured I’d help you out this morning so you could sleep in. You must have been tired.”

He knows exactly why you’re tired, he’s teasing you at this point. You blush at his comments, “Good morning, Toji.” You sit down at the table beside you. “It smells delicious. Thank you Toji, I really appreciate it,” You add as you’re looking up at him with your half-lidded sleepy eyes, softly smiling.

Toji’s heart skips a beat seeing your precious smile when you’re still tired. He walks over and sets down the food, calling Megumi over.

You set a waffle on your plate, adding syrup and strawberries on top. It smells delicious, and you can’t wait to try it. You take a bite, and, it’s not that good. The toppings add flavor, but he could’ve added vanilla extract or more sweetness to the batter itself. Nonetheless, you eat it with a smile on your face. “It’s really good, Toji. Thank you!”

Megumi takes a bite. If you say it’s delicious, then it must be right. As soon as he tastes the overwhelming intensity of mediocrity and flavorlessness. “Tch.” He clicks his tongue. It’s not that good, and she’s definitely lying to him. Why?

Toji smirks at your compliments. He’s glad he made you happy. He gets up to start cleaning the table and kitchen, and you follow suit. Megumi is uninterested and returns to the living room, putting on some random, boring show.

“Thank you Toji, it was good. I was worried since I slept in late that I left you all hanging,” you chuckle out.

Toji is washing dishes beside you, as you’re picking them up and drying them. “You’re welcome, Y/N. Anything for you.” He looks over at your flustered face and smiles.

You get caught up looking at his adorable grin and reach over to grab the next plate to be dried. Instead, you make contact with his soapy hand instead. You linger for a little too long, hyperaware of the small touch you just made. You’re embarrassed and pull away. “S-sorry…” You manage to stumble out, blushing and looking away.

“Don’t be, doll .” He eyes you up and down, smirking. She’s so fucking hot, and innocent too. It’s almost too easy.

Megumi overhears chatter and catches you a blushing mess in front of his father. He can see the way Toji observes you, like a predator waiting to pounce on its prey. Why am I uncomfortable? Am I jealous? Of my own father? I mean, we just had an amazing night together, why should I be jealous? His heart was pounding, feeling suddenly possessive over someone that wasn’t even his. The loudest thought roaring through his mind, however, was the most disturbing. Why am I hard?  He clenched his fists and grit his teeth. This should not be happening.

You finish cleaning up with Toji, when he gently grabs your wrist and looks at you. “Let’s go out together. We need more stuff for the house.”

You already knew this and were planning your usual errands for later today. You look up at Toji and nod, “Sounds good. I’m going to shower and get ready first.”

He releases the soft grip on your wrist, and you walk away towards the bathroom. He licks his lips as he watches your womanly figure recede from vision. He can’t stop looking at the way your shorts hug your hips and ass as you walk away. He grins mischievously and thinks to himself: I can’t wait to get all of that later.

--

‹𝟹 notes: ch 4 is on my ao3, i'll be posting it to tumblr shortly! lmk what y'all think!!!!

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‹𝟹 notifs: @vvxxccaa @arylaa @starshipxoxo

ʚ join my notifs ɞ

(･ω･)つ divider creds to @/cafekitsune and @/eloquentreverie

#jjk fanfic #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen fic #jjk x reader #toji x reader #megumi x reader #fushiguro toji #toji fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro #toji x y/n #fushiguro toji x reader #toji x you #megumi x y/n #megumi x you #ao3 fic #ao3 writer #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #toji smut #megumi smut

[sugar-omi]

pls cove + lactation is actually crazy... we're gonna have to come back for more bc i can't stop thinking abt it. DILF/SUGAR DADDY COVE W LACTATION..... pls i gots to go we will talk abt this LATER!!!

DAY TWELVE — LACTATION

*kinktober masterlist | *ao3

tags : drabbles, NSFW, fem/afab + bottom reader, titfucking, oral (cove receiving), mention of getting pregnant again, raw sex

synopsis : cove helps you with your full tits, he's definitely taking advantage of it. / you're not producing as much milk anymore and you can't help but tease cove about his disappointment.

"is this.. hahh- your idea of helping?" you exhale shakily.

he was supposed to be helping you apply lotion to your boobs and pump. not sucking on your nipples, lapping up your milk.

"argh- gentle." you remind him, pushing against his head.

cove pops off your nipple with a pop. you can't look away from his wet lips, his tongue darting out to lick his lips and stops groping your other breast to lick his fingers clean…

dirty bastard.

you grind your butt against his lap, his bulge right under your cunt, and he can't help but groan.

"now they're uneven…" you fret, weighing your boobs in your hands. you didn't wanna admit out loud, but cove sucking on your boobs really helped…

he licks his lips, swallowing. there's so many thoughts in his head and he can admit, they're all about your boobs.

your boobs have gotten bigger since you got pregnant and sensitive because of it.

your boobs were already big but are noticeably more sensitive, especially after nursing.

he already loved your chest but now… God he has to tear his eyes away every time because unfortunately, he can't spend all day admiring his wife's full, leaky tits.

"go ahead and say it."

"huh?" cove blinks dumbly. fuck he got lost in his thoughts again..

"say it. you're thinking something right?" you lift up your boobs, a couple trails of milk running down your hand. "you've nearly sucked me dry.. so what is it? wanna fuck my tits?"

cove bursts into a bright red blush, and pauses before he nods… "please?"

you roll your eyes, unbuckling cove's pants. "no need to beg, just c'mere and fuck me."

he rushes to tug down his pants while you get situated on the bed, beckoning him towards you.

you reassure cove he won't squish you, and to stop worrying. you reach over for the lube, pouring it over your cleavage and roughly spreading it around.

cove gapes at you, he and his cock drooling at the sight.

he swallows, his dick is throbbing at this point, and pushes your boobs together, sliding his dick between your tits.

"mm." cove moans lowly, his teeth gritted.

fuck this is hot, even you have to admit.

with every thrust his dick drags along your slippery tits, his tip poking out from your cleavage, the red, weepy tip a nice contrast with your shiny tits.

"fuck..." cove groans, his fingers digging into the flesh of your boobs. it doesn't hurt, and you thought it'd be overstimulating but it feels so good and turns you on so, so much...

he squeezes your left tit, milk spurting out from your nipple, it runs down your tit, adding onto the wet mess of lube.

cove curses, squeezing your chest again. you huff, milk running down your sides and getting on the bed sheets. you've already decided to make him clean up the mess.

admittedly, the mess is alluring. your milk coating his dick and making loud, wet squelching noises as he thrusts faster into your tits.

"fuck!"

cove curses hen you add your mouth to the mix, your lips wrapping around his tip whenever it peeks out, your tongue lapping up the mix of cum and breast milk.

"y/n... i'm gonna..." cove mumbles, humping your chest.

you hum around his tip, putting your hands over his to guide him into moving your boobs.

he throws his head back, pushing his hips up further into your mouth, your tongue lavishing it with attention and you hollow your cheeks, sucking and teasing his urethra with the tip of your tongue.

cove groans, squeezing your boobs and almost collapsing when he falls over the edge, his cum flooding your mouth and with the position you're in, some of it escapes past your lips and runs down your chin.

you let go of his ass so he can pull away. he's so enraptured by the scene though.. your tits rising up and down with your panting, his cum and your milk mixed together.

your teasing expression doesn't help, but he doesn't have enough humility to be too embarrassed..

you wipe your chin, sticking your fingers in your mouth to clean up the mess. "happy now?"

you're not producing like you used too, and now your son is on baby food.

which is good, great actually because your son is getting his teeth and apparently the lil bastard doesn't know what "ouch!" or "fuck!" means.

it's a bit unfortunate for your husband though. since he's uselessly sucking your boobs, getting maybe a few drops from your chest.

"geez, are you sure you're not the infant around here?"

cove flushes, pulling off your nipple with a pop. "shut up.."

you laugh, petting back his hair. "sorry, you just look so much like a baby."

cove rolls his eyes, thrusting up into your cunt.

"fuck!" you shout, scrambling to cling onto the pillows, trying to keep your head from hitting the headboard with the power of cove's thrusts.

"well since we're teasing each other now... i think you look cute on my dick." cove holds your thighs for leverage, enjoying how your eyes roll back and your back arches off the bed.

"y'know, river is going to need a sibling. so let me help you when you start lactating." cove leans down, dropping your legs so they're at his waist and he can thrust up into you, caging you between his arms so he can steal a kiss.

"the baby won't know what they're missing if you lactate before they're born, so indulge me a little bit.." cove purrs.

your nails drag down his back and you close the gap between you, stealing a kiss before you growl out.

"you're insufferable. stop thinking about your stomach and fuck me. in fact... maybe i'll start milking you until i'm pregnant again, that sounds fun..."

#sugar-omi kinktober #sugar omi kinktober #kinktober #olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden #cove holden x reader #smut #cove holden smut #cove x reader #cove our life #cove x mc #our life cove #cove holden x reader smut #cove holden x mc

[violetsaffron5]

Beautiful Disaster (1)

series masterlist • Chapter 2 →

↳ 1 | Memories

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x f!Reader

Gojo Satoru: confident, flippant, an all-around red flag. It’s a wonder why you started a multi-year tumultuous relationship with him that alters the course of your life and those around you.

cw: violence, profanity, heavy drinking/mention of drugs

words: 4k

an: i changed the name of this fic bc i wanted to pls don't come after me (or do i'm not your mother)

an2.0: broke this chapter into two parts so it wasn't a random 10,000 word first chapter, porn next chapter though

Taglist • Ao3 • Discord 18+ • Social Media • Series Masterlists

April 2018

You wake six minutes before your alarm is set to go off. The room is dark and cold, but the bed you’re laying in is warm, soft and cozy. Your head aches from the lack of sleep you got last night, having stayed up entirely way too late in nervous anticipation for this weekend.

When you stretch, the warm body next to you pulls you in close to him, begging for five more minutes before you roll out of bed and inevitably leave.

You grant him that wish, snuggling in closer and place several chaste kisses to his lips before he runs his hands along the curve of your spine down to your ass, grabbing a handful, tugging you closer to him. You gasp, feeling his hard length press against your stomach and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth, gliding it against yours, groaning softly as he rocks his hips into you gently.

“I really have to go, otherwise I’m going to be late.”

He huffs before kissing the tip of your nose, “You’re right. Utahime can be a bitch like that.”

“Be nice,” you scold while rolling out of bed and grabbing the bag you pre-packed before changing into your clothes for traveling, kissing your partner, ensuring them that you’ll see them later and head out for the weekend's festivities.

A bullet train and several hours later you’ve reached your destination, just outside of Kyoto at a beautiful venue. The main building is white, traditional with several other smaller buildings resembling the primary one scattered across the lawn.

There are several cherry blossom trees in full bloom where wait staff are setting up various chairs; the wooden archway and florists are getting the flowers setup along the aisle and on the arch posts.

As you take in the view around; the ponds with cherry blossom leaves falling elegantly into the water, the sporadic rays of the sun filtering through the branches of the trees, you absentmindedly run your thumb along your ring finger before sighing and continuing your trek along the cement path.

Walking inside the main building, the floors are marble, with a modern grand staircase leading up to the bridal suite where you’re greeted by several college friends, including Utahime, who walks over and embraces you awkwardly, never having been one to show physical affection.

“You made it, on time even.” She comments in surprise as you chuckle, telling her how you barely made it out of the house with a certain someone trying to coax you back into bed.

She grimaces before excusing herself to go smoke a cigarette, to your surprise, out on the balcony while the other ladies giggle, changing into their outfits for lunch.

Manami Suda makes her way into the room holding a glass of champagne and squealing before taking a seat at one of the vanities near you.

“Did you hear Gojo’s going to be here this weekend?”

You give a curt nod and take a deep breath before sitting in front of the vanity next to hers, turning on the curling iron. It’s a subject you were hoping would be avoided the majority of the weekend, but clearly you’re not going to get that lucky.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Listen,” she says, suddenly serious which makes your brows knit together, “this weekend is about Utahime and -”

You glare at her from the corner of your eye, grabbing a section of hair wrapping it around the tool before letting it go, watching the perfect curl fall next to your face.

“We’re all adults, I’m pretty sure I can handle seeing him for a few hours.”

“I just want to make sure there’s not going to be any drama between the two of you.”

“There won’t be, so let’s just change the subject, okay?”

“Okay,” Manami replies quietly, “want help with your hair?”

You nod and give a half-hearted smile as Manami walks over and begins curling the rest of your hair telling several anecdotes with the rest of the bridal party about Utahime, how they all met and how they’re so excited for this luncheon and the ceremony that’s going to take place in a few days.

All the while, you stare at yourself in the mirror, smiling along with everyone else and laughing when they laugh, a sour feeling filling the pit of your stomach as you think about the events that have transpired over the years that brought you here, by Utahime’s side, of all people, before she walks down the aisle to the love of her life.

September 2011

You’ll never forget the moment you first laid eyes on him.

Skin glistening with sweat in a basement of one of the off-campus university houses, dim lights accentuating the curve of each of his toned, sinewy muscles. Ivory hair damp, lip and eyebrow busted and bleeding from the cuts he received prior to you walking into the crowded space.

It’s a small, cramped room, filled to the brim with other students yelling, screaming and booing while he wipes the sweat from his forehead and blood from his lip with the back of his hand, chest heaving up and down with each deep breath he takes.

You’re making your way through the mob, hand cupped tight to Shoko’s as she leads the way to the front. There’s a yellow ring spray painted on the floor and inside only the white haired man and two others are located. One looks as if he’s acting as a referee, with strawberry pink hair on top and a chocolate colored fade just below. The other person is flat on his back, face turned away from you; he’s clearly been knocked out.

Through the horde a tall man appears, black skin-tight shirt, well defined muscles so visible through the thin layer of fabric he may as well not have one on, his gray sweats hang low on his hips as he bends over, checking the pulse of the boy on the floor.

The room goes quiet and the scent of copper and perspiration fills the room, more noticeable than before as you wait for the verdict. The man stands, with the other boy in his arms, hanging off his shoulder loosely, head dangling towards the ground and walks him out of the ring towards the entrance you just came through.

“Everyone shut the fuck up,” the peach haired man says, tattoos sprawling across his face, eyes small and somehow crimson as he speaks into a bullhorn when the the room explodes with rambunctiousness again. “You all know how this goes: betting ends once the opponent hits the floor, no touching or assisting the fighters in any way and no encroachment on the ring. Break any of these rules, and you’ll get your ass beat.”

Everyone in the room is intent on bloodshed and you wonder if you’re going to be able to make it out unscathed as you stand near the border of the ring. You’re being pushed and bumped into, the sea of people spilling their beers and other beverages as many of them try to make their way to the front, pushing you into Shoko so they can get a better view.

When you came to tour the campus last week and learn your way around, you met two people during orientation - Ieiri Shoko and Geto Suguru. Both were happy to help you get acquainted and show you around, both surprised to learn you were transferring to Tokyo Tech for your sophomore year - the same year as them.

You explained that you wanted to get further away from home, and how Tokyo Tech has courses that are more suited for your degree, so in an effort to be more independent, you opted to go ahead and transfer rather than procrastinating and trying to wait until senior year.

Shoko took the opportunity to show you to the dorms, to where your room is and let you know her room is just a few doors down the same hall, and Suguru let you know there’s a party at his place off campus during Welcome Week, and invited the two of you to come.

Shoko and Suguru were already acquainted with one another and in an effort to make friends, you agreed to come, but an underground fight club is not what you were anticipating to find out about during your first week at this college, or ever really.

The emcee continues to hold the bullhorn to his lips, introducing the fighters for the next round, “alright, this fucker needs no introduction, but I’ll give him one anyway: Gojo Satoru.”

The crowd explodes into whoops and hollers like this guys is a fucking celebrity of some sort.

“What’s the deal with him?” You lean towards Shoko, yelling into her ear so she can hear you over the noise.

“Gojo’s undefeated, started fighting the day Sukuna started this in an abandoned Wendy’s parking lot last year as freshmen. Everyone loves it - sick bastards.”

“How has the school not shut it down?” You ask, eyes trailing Gojo’s movements as he walks around the ring, stretching his shoulders and cracking his neck from side to side, spitting out some blood from his lip in the process.

“The big guy earlier, the one who carried that freshmen out - that’s Toji Fushiguro, one of the professors here. He helped Sukuna start this, keeping an ear out if there’s any talk in the school from the higher-ups. Occasionally these fights will be moved to someone else’s basement, or even back at the parking lot just in case the school decides to investigate.”

You nod in understanding as a young bleached blonde steps into the ring, cracking his knuckles. He looks to be wearing eyeliner, which seems to be an odd choice when getting ready to fight, since it would just smear with sweat, his ears are also covered in earrings which seems like an even worse choice in a fight with barely any rules.

“Who lives in this house then?”

“Sukuna, the emcee,” she nods her head in his direction, “Geto and Gojo, though it’s not uncommon for people to spend the night after these parties, since the house is so big.”

It’s true - the house is large but also a mess. When you made your way across campus and down the street the house sits on, you could hear the music blasting from the corner, several cars lined the driveway and even sat in the yard. Some of them looked incredibly expensive, others slammed or souped up.

The house itself is two stories, white siding with plenty of windows for natural light. There are columns on the front porch holding up a balcony on the top floor. The yard was a mess with red cups and empty bottles strewn across the grass. A typical college party house.

Inside, you didn’t get to see much as Shoko grabbed your hand and led you down the steps immediately.

“Here we’ve got a newbie freshman, trying to prove his worth: Zenin Naoya!” Sukuna states, raising his hand in the air.

You watch as the two men interact with one another with some familiarity, Gojo leans down, whispering something in Zenin’s ear, which clearly upsets him judging by the knitted brows and pissed off look in his eyes, he looks as if he’s about to murder someone while Gojo stands, bouncing on the tips of his toes looking mildly amused with himself.

The two take a few steps back from one another before Sukuna drops his hand. Zenin immediately takes a defensive stance while Gojo throws several punches at the same time several people jab you in your own side, trying to get a better view, pushing you out of the way and slightly into the ring.

“Fuck off, dude!” Shoko yells, grabbing you by the elbow and pulling you back into her.

When you finally look back into the ring, Zenin’s face is already bloodied and Gojo’s lip is bleeding again. Zenin grabs Gojo with his muscular arms and wraps a leg around Gojo’s, trying to grapple him to the ground, but without losing balance, Gojo’s other knee connects with Zenin’s face causing him to stumble backwards.

Zenin isn’t able to recover before Gojo lands a series of blows to his face before landing one final punch to Zenin’s nose, causing his eyes to roll back and his body crashing onto the concrete floor with a loud thud, blood from his nose spraying out and gushing down the side of his face.

The room grows quiet for a moment again before Sukuna mutters a “shit,” and grabs the bullhorn once again, “that’s enough for tonight. Go party, shit heads.”

Gojo doesn’t seem fazed, standing tall, breathing heavy again with blood running down his chin. He looks out into the crowd as if he’s looking for someone. There’s a churning in your stomach that happens the moment his eyes lock with yours; they’re wild and unhinged, which makes you queasy from the intensity. But at the same time, so beautiful, crystalline and blue, filled with a passion you’ve never experienced before.

Like a beautiful disaster just waiting to happen.

He grins at you, it’s lopsided and alluring, the dim light of the basement casting a golden halo over his skin. You smile back, biting your lower lip before Shoko grabs your elbow, pulling you back the way you came.

“We’re taking shots!” Shoko shouts as soon as you’re in the kitchen. The island is set up with bottles and bottles of alcohol along with stacks of red plastic cups lined, some empty to be used, others filled and left behind by the owner.

Shoko grabs a few of the cups, filling them with vodka before handing you one, clinking your cup with hers you gulp it down, wincing and scrunching your nose at the taste before she fills your cup again, taking another.

She’s able to drink more than you anticipated, and she seems unaffected when her friend, Utahime, appears by her side, joining her when you tap out after the back to back shots.

Utahime is in a pair of cute overalls, with a black shirt underneath, her silky black hair is down going past her shoulders with half of it pulled back with a red ribbon. Her eyes are a gorgeous deep set brown. She’s stunning when she smiles brightly at Shoko whose caramel brown hair barely touches her shoulder, the sides tucked behind her ear as she laughs at something Utahime says.

She looks less tired tonight than when you met her last week, the deep purple bags under her eyes less prominent, like she was able to get plenty of rest last night. She’s in pre-med, studying her ass off to go to a good medical school, on top of working part-time at a local restaurant where she works with Utahime, whom you met earlier in the evening while getting ready to go out with Shoko.

In an effort to not be attached to her hip all night, you make your way down the hall and out into the living room. It’s a large open space, a huge sectional couch taking up most of it with a coffee table in the center littered with more drugs than you’ve seen in your entire life along with several bottles of alcohol and a giant TV hung up on the opposite side with surround sound speakers.

Suguru is standing on the opposite side of the couch, facing the direction you just walked in from, talking with a few ladies with bleached blonde hair. Next to him is the emcee from the basement, Sukuna.

He smiles and nods his head, patting the pink haired man on the shoulder and excusing himself as he makes his way over to you. He greets you with a quick “hey,” and a hug which you happily return in your tipsy state.

“You good?” Suguru asks curiously as he pulls away, looking at the goofy grin on your face.

“I’m actually so good right now.”

You were secretly hoping to run into Suguru and be able to spend more time with him tonight. He’s incredibly attractive with his chiseled jaw, gauged ears and glossy ebony hair pulled back into a bun that sits on top of his head. Suguru has an aura about him that’s just calming and makes you feel good about yourself.

“I didn’t see you downstairs.”

“I came up to help Toji with the kid who got knocked out earlier.”

The two of you make your way to the couch as you explain how you must have just missed each other because the kid was being walked out when you arrived with Shoko.

“So, is this like, some fucked up wonderland for drugs?” You ask, nodding towards the coffee table.

Geto laughs before shaking his head, “nah, but Sukuna would appreciate that you said that. Want anything?”

You’re looking at the assortment of pills, powders and liquids on the table as Sukuna walks over, “your boy likes the powder, the other is a fan of the pill.”

“The other?” You look at Sukuna confused.

“Satoru,” Suguru says, “he was the one fighting in the ring earlier.”

You hum and watch as Suguru pops one of the pills into his mouth. “That freshman was already trying to fight him. Doesn’t the semester start in a few days?”

“They’ve known each other for a long time. Family businesses are entwined.” Sukuna states, lighting a joint before offering it to you, which you decline. The night is still young and you want to catch up with Shoko and Utahime again later, so it’s best not to get too fucked up and have to rely on one of your new found friends to care for you.

That’d be embarrassing on your first night out on campus.

“If you’re not gonna smoke, let's go get something to drink,” Geto offers before grabbing your hand and leading you towards the kitchen. You wave to Sukuna just before a girl with light pink hair grabs Geto’s other hand, getting his attention.

“Suguru,” she wines, “can you help me really quick?”

He purses his lips, looking over to you where you smile and say, “go ahead. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

You chuckle to yourself and roll your eyes as you walk down the hall towards the kitchen, placing your hand on the wall a few times to balance yourself so you don’t accidently trip over your own feet.

“Still don’t see why you care.” An icy tone from the kitchen says before you stumble in seeing the voice belongs to Gojo, leaned against the counters, a lit cigarette between his fingers before bringing it to his glossy lips, taking a drag.

“Because these fights are fucking animalistic, and your image affects me too.” There’s a woman with straight silver-tinted hair standing across the kitchen island, her eyes sharp and filled with furry as she stares at the ivory haired man, ignoring your presence.

Gojo shrugs, “sounds like a you problem,” the smoke be inhaled earlier leaving through his nose and mouth as he pushes off the counter, snubbing the cigarette along the way and going to the island to pour himself a drink.

The woman scoffs, grabbing her own cup and stomping out of the kitchen rather dramatically in your opinion. You purse your lips and avoid looking at him as you grab a new cup, dumping a dark colored soda you don’t bother reading the name of with one of the clear liquors, and pour a generous amount in, swirling your cup to mix them.

“You look uncomfortable.” Gojo says, making you look up to meet his gaze.

The lights in the kitchen are brighter than the ones in the basement, showing off his jawline and high cheekbones, all sharp edges. His eyes are somehow brighter in this light as well, more crystal clear like the ocean surrounded by thick, long, fluffy white lashes. He’s in a black shirt with dark jeans now, the cuts on his lip and eyebrow no longer bleeding.

“Uh, what?” Your brows raise and you blink several times because yes you are obviously uncomfortable from having accidentally walked in on their private conversation.

“Gojo Satoru,” he says smoothly, “you look great, by the way.”

Your cheeks flush at the sudden compliment, before muttering a thanks. You tell him your name in response and he says it several times, tasting it on his tongue like fine wine, eyes watching your every movement.

“That’s a beautiful name. Really suits you, just like that dress.” His eyes unashamedly wander your body before he comes to stand next to you. He’s confident, cocky and his mere presence is intoxicating. “You new?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Freshmen?”

“Sophomore.”

“Hm. Maybe we’ll have some classes together.” He grins down at you as you crane your neck up to him because he’s so, so much taller than he looked in the basement earlier.

“What’s your major?”

Gojo tells you he’s pre-law, hoping to get a good internship junior year and make his way into an Ivy League law school. You tell him your major and the classes you’re taking, but he just says “guess you’ll have to wait and see,” when you ask if there are any classes you have together.

You roll your eyes and laugh, taking a sip of your drink, watching him smile over the rim of your cup.

“You don’t seem uptight. I think most uptight people just aren’t being fucked all that well.”

You cough and sputter into your drink, not having expected him to say that, “is, uh, is that what her problem was?” You nod your head towards the entryway to the kitchen where the silver haired woman left, “she just isn’t getting fucked well?”

“Ouch,” he feigns hurt, holding his hand over his heart, “I’ll have you know I’m a great fuck.”

“That’s great,” you laugh awkwardly, “that’s really… good for you.”

Satoru smiles down at you, and you’re not entirely sure when during that conversation your back made contact with the wall behind you, but it did, his face inches from yours, leaning on one of his long arms caging you in.

“God, your laugh is precious,” his voice is low, honeyed. He grabs the cup you’re sipping on between two of his fingers, setting both his and yours on the counter next to you, and you just let him.

Turning your head up to meet his gaze, you feel your cheeks heat again, noses brushing alongside one another. Your lips part every so slightly when his ghost yours; you lean forward, ever so slightly, unconsciously trying to close the almost non-existent gap between the two of you but he moves away ever so slightly with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

You find yourself gripping the fabric of his cotton shirt at the base of his stomach, feeling his hardened muscles clench at the contact, keeping him close.

His breath is mingling with yours in the tight space, smelling alcohol and cigarettes with each exhale.

“Gojo.” you murmur, almost a whisper, almost pleading.

He chuckles, hand finding its way to your hip as he threads the other through your hair, slotting his lips with yours. 

Gojo’s a graceful kisser, tasting of alcohol and mint from the cigarette. His lips meld with yours, snaking your lower lip between his teeth, tugging playfully, loving the sound of the soft sigh that leaves your lips as he does this.

The feeling of a little metal ball on his tongue takes you back for a second before you realize he has his tongue pierced, the thought sending a jolt right to your core, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

You can’t hear the ongoing party, haven’t been able to for a while now. The bass is still reverberating through the walls and the floor, from the tips of your toes through the rest of your body.

He pulls back, eyes half lidded flickering between yours and your lips, voice husky with arousal as he asks, “my room?”

@petalsrdead @sugurunicorn @niki-sun @lilith412426 @sofiaconlaz @lxvephxbic @kash2 @violetsapplejuice @iam-mia9 @laylasbunbunny @creolequeen11210 @xiaosie @lem-hhn @s-witch-bitch

#gojou satoru x reader #gojou satoru x you #gojou satoru angst #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru angst #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo angst #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk angst #jjk smut #jjk fanfic #gojo smut #Violetsaffronfic #satoru gojo smut #BD

[ourdreamsareneon]

it's crazy the level of discourse there is about antis/pros and how teenagers just devolve into purity culture so quick. I'm sure I used to be like that, but somewhere between dating gang members and reading copious amounts of philosophy the world became a lot more gray to me when I entered my twenties and I've realised three things that I think are important for teenagers to know:

To quote my favourite childhood book series: "People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." Sure, going to car meets, selling drugs, drunk driving, stealing cars, playing chicken with cops are all examples of bad things that you shouldn't do but am I going to sit in my lovers bed and tell him that this life he was born into that saw all his friends die in drive bys and that saw his own dad pull a gun on him when he was a kid makes him a shitty person? Even though I can see all of the good in him, and can tell he doesn't want to do this, I should ignore it and focus on the negatitives? We have all done bad things, we all do bad things, and we all will do bad things. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Purity culture hurts everyone. There's a great book about this called the History of Sexuality that delves into how purity culture and the censorship of sex is at its essence the capitalist authority controlling the means of reproduction. At large scale 'pray the gay away' and 'contraception is a sin' make it so that men and women couple up more (instead of same sex coupling) and have unprotected sex. On a smaller scale 'AO3 is evil because it has pedos' and 'watersports is the grossest thing ever' do the job of the capitalist authority on a more digestible level. Us vs Them no longer is 'alt right vs communism' they use your words to make it 'pure good hobest people vs pedos who like piss play.' you are making bullets for your enemy and handing them your own damn gun. I promised I wouldn't make this whole post this one point tee hee sorry if you want me to elaborate just ask lol

Fetish ≠ real world experience. I'll build my own pyre as an example: I love me some good CNC (consensual non-consent) in my fanfics but in real life sex I have a praise kink so bad I have cried during sex multiple times. I am into tooth rotting sweet stuff and the kindest people in the world in real life. The media you consume 1000% has an effect on you, I'm not arguing that. I am however arguing that if you have media literacy and know what media is and is not harmful to you, it shouldn't effect your real life drastically unless you have other shit going on. I know this is rich coming from the "I have dated people in gangs" guy because that may show what kinda guy I'm into but prommy that's not a sexual attraction thing, it's 100% a lifestyle thing that again I will elaborate on if you want. Point being, porn ≠ reality and what gets that blood flowing isn't necessarily a reflection of how good or bad you are (ofc there are kinds of porn that are bad but that's beside the point and a very complicated thing for me to type while I'm this sleepy)

thank you for coming to my ted talk. pls I am begging on my knees for people to stop having black and white world views but i also know that's just a product of being a teen so if you are a teen pls! go out there and! consume media from different cultures and people with different lives to you! the world is at its best when it is wide!!! and full of love <3

#im on a recreational drug rn and u get brownie points if u cn guess which one #also i say lover but very much ex lover #it wasnt messy or anything we just #idk #atopped #ANYWAY this was inspired by tiktok beef im having with a (i think) 16 year old #about #heartbreak high #so you get put in that tag #i was saying i want a chook centric fix it fic bc that would be cute #and i accidentally forgot yall teens werwnt here for hannibal #and didnt read asoue when you were 10 #cause likw i was fully shipping the man antagonist with the sister of a guy he murdered #among other bad things #shipping discourse #fanfic discourse #fanfic discussion #philosophy #im too high man it took me way too long to type #iwanna be in the bush on md at a lil rave wouldnt that be nive #sorry #bye #love you #stay safe #xoxo

[bbyquokka]

Hey there 😌 I hope you’re having a lovely day today; sending love your way <333 Since I’m introverted and a homebody, I was wondering if you can write a fluffy Han scenario where you’re both newly couples (shy and awkward but both of your love languages is physical touch). You’re at his dorm room watching movies and cuddling and the reader just loves kissing Han and he’s showing a lot of affection back? Thank you for your lovely writings we appreciate you! ✨✨✨✨

hello! i hope you are having a lovely day also! thank you for your kind words and your cute request! i hope this is what you wanted and please lemme know your thoughts and opinions 💭💘

 ะ Comfort!❞

➥ pairing: Han Jisung x gn!reader

➥ genre: fluff | college!au

➥ synopsis: you and Jisung are a new couple. not knowing what to say to each other, you both soon realise that physical touch is your love language

➥ warnings: - none

➥ words: 0.9k

➥ have a request? send it to me here. pls read my rules to learn about my guidelines before submitting requests

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

➥ m.list – ➥ ao3

College. The time where you learn the most about yourself. Mix in with different people, figure out what and who you like and don't like. Parties, pranks and relationships are the most common thing about college.

You went there to get an education, to study and have a better chance of having a stable life for yourself. You had no interest in mixing in with different people. Whilst others would be out partying until four am, you'll be sat at home, binge watching a TV drama or series with some take-out feeling happy and content.

Being an introvert means that you only have a small handful of friends, you don't particularly like interacting with others. You have a small circle but that's all you need – any more and you'll feel drained. You never thought about having a relationship whilst being in college, it's just something that never crossed your mind – until you met him.

Han Jisung, an international student studying music. It's rare that you two crossed paths but you saw him every now and then, especially in the canteen. You would smile at each other in a friendly manner, but never really spoke – you felt way too shy to do something like that! Your first interactions with each other happened at a party.

Your friend begged and pleaded with you to be their plus one at a party. You really didn't want to go but you couldn't let down your friend so, you said yes. Whilst there, all you wanted to do was go home, put on your comfy wear and watch TV. Your social battery was draining and it was draining fast.

Jisung noticed you, alone and wanting to be away from everyone and everything. He approached you, in a shy and timid manner. You both got talking, explaining how you did not want to be here and to your surprise, Jisung was in the exact same situation as you. "Don't worry, I know how you feel. I'm only here because Changbin begged me." 

After the party, you both spent a lot more time together. You learnt that he is just like you. You both got on very well, getting very close to each other in a short amount of time. Feelings grew for you both and after only 2 months of talking, Jisung asked you out.

You debated it, you didn't plan on getting in a relationship during your time in college, plus, you haven't really had a serious relationship before, but you decided to go against your head and go with your heart – you know you'll regret it deeply if you turned him down.

"How's the popcorn?" Jisung asks, looking at you from his position on the sofa. You're both sitting cross legged on Jisung's sofa in his dorm, a bowl of popcorn in the middle of you both while a movie is playing. You smile softly at him, feeling shy and awkward.

"A little salty, but it'll do." You put more popcorn in your mouth, chewing it slowly.

"Yeah. It is a bit salty but it's all they had at the store." You hum as a response, hand automatically dipping in the bowl as you focus on the movie. Jisung invited you for a little movie date at his place. It felt a little awkward between you both considering you are still a new couple and both very shy. Neither of you knew how to approach the other without fear of doing or saying the wrong thing. The last thing you both wanted was to make the other upset.

As you're dipping your hand in the bowl, Jisung did the same. Your fingers touched, making you look at him and blush a soft pink color. Jisung also looks at you, blushing softly.

"U-Uh..." Jisung stuttered, retracting his hand.

"No." You whisper, putting the bowl down on the floor as you scoot closer to him. "It's okay." 

You held his hand softly, his skin hot and soft – softer than what you thought. You gently play with his fingers, Jisung feeling flustered as he watches you. Feeling a little confident, he leans in, planting a gentle kiss on your cheek. You look at him and smile lovingly, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

You kiss his lips softly, not wanting to force anything and to make it feel comfortable for him as it is for you. Jisung places his hands on your thighs gently, stroking them with his thumb as your lips move in sync with each other. You pull away, looking at your lap as you hold Jisung's hands again.

"How was it?" You asked, voice barely a whisper as your heart thumped against your rib cage.

"It was perfect." You grin, shuffling onto Jisung's lap. He chuckles softly, holding you close to him whilst stroking your sides.

"You're so beautiful, y/n." He mumbles, kissing your temple softly. The movie is long forgotten about, slowly turning into background noise as you and Jisung embrace and get lost in each other's touch. Not very many words are spoken between you both, but the silence isn't awkward – it's comfortable.

Many kisses, hand stroking and cuddles are exchanged between you both, both of you realizing that your love language is physical touch – to which you're both okay with. By the time the movie ended, you felt tired, slowly losing the battle of keeping your eyes open. Jisung notices this and wraps a fleece blanket around you both, holding you as close to him as possible.

His warmth and presence comforts you, making you feel safe and at home. You hum softly, clinging onto his clothing as you fall asleep.

#– mxriverse #request #skz #stray kids #skz soft hours #skz soft thoughts #stray kids soft hours #stray kids soft thoughts #han jisung #jisung #jisung fluff #han jisung fluff #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #han jisung x you #jisung x you #han jisung x reader #jisung x reader #skz scenarios #skz x you #skz x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader

[vvo1d1ing]

For all the people who on AO3 write about Durge/Astarion, and all the ones who might not know and whoever else stumbles on these mad ramblings of a weirdo;

DURGE AND TAV ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. PLAY BLOOD IN BALDUR'S GATE IF YOU ARE TOO LAZY TO PLAY BG3 AS DURGE TO FIGURE IT OUT. IT'S THE SAME FUCKIN DURGE AND THE GAME IS ON BROWSER SO NO DOWNLOAD.

Durge will never be Tav. Durge could never be Tav. DURGE ISN'T EVIL TAV.

Going into slight spoiler territory now but I'll try to keep it as vague as I possibly could but if you wanna skip, don't read anything in purple;

The Durge you play as, even if you customize them, is the same Durge from Blood in Baldur's Gate and you can confirm this not just by the fact that technically, Durge is supposed to be a White Dragonborne just like in Blood in Baldur's gate and the fact that that game LITERALLY HAPPENS BEFORE BG3 AND TAV BY NAME IS MENTIONED THERE BECAUSE YOU PLAY AS TAV... But also jesus christ, Sceleritas Fel is in it. That beautiful bastard was sent by father dearest to be Durges loyal butler once he reached the age of maturity and is the last of his kind. It kinda fucking has to be the same Durge!

TLDR; Fix your fanfic tags. If someone is looking up Durge fanfics, THEY SHOULDN'T SEE 0 SEARCH RESULTS because they filtered out Tav. Have Durge look however the fuck you want because I have my Durge look completely different from how they are supposed to look, just pls fucking fix your tags. I'm on my knees, begging, pleading, crying at you to pls fix your tags to mean what you actually mean and not what you think because you didn't know better.

#ao3 #bg3 spoilers #slight spoilers #fanfic #bg3 #bg3 tav #bg3 durge #bg3 dark urge #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 astarion #ao3 tags

[phantomhunting]

ORANGE IS WRATH

Read on AO3

<this is the first chapter in this series, other chapters aren't released here yet>

CW: violence, angst, neglect (they neglect Logan), implied prinxiety. this isn't beta read either so keep in mind there will be mistakes, feel free to point them out so i could fix them.

"Roman, I just don't get why you're saying that" Patton said softly. "Ac-" Logan tried to speak, but was instantly cut off by Roman. "Because he's evil!" Roman called. "Evil people can change!" Patton explained, trying to keep calm. "Ev-" Logan tried to speak again, being cut of by Patton. "Roman, give him a shot" Patton cried out. "If-" Logan was cut off again, by Roman. "I'm not going to, he hasn't earned it!" Roman exclaimed. "Pl-" Logan failed to speak again, this time he was cut off by Thomas. "He deserves a second chance, Roman, you know he does!" Thomas begged for Roman to understand. Patton, Thomas and Roman began speaking over each other, Logan trying to speak but being unlistened to. Virgil was trying to calm everyone down, but then he noticed Logan.

Logan's head was turned the other way, his body language indicating he's mad, angry huffs can be heard from him. "Logan? Are you.. okay?" Virgil asked quietly, the others didn't even notice Logan's rage. Logan turns to Virgil, opening his eyes. Virgil just waits for a response. Logan's eyes become watery, which never happened before as far as Virgil knew. Virgil is taken aback before noticing Logan's eye color, it changed from their usual brown to... bright Orange with a tech-y pattern. Virgil is instantly concerned. Logan smirks and sinks down without a word.

"Logan?" Patton says as Logan sinks down, the over lapping chatter stopping in an instant. "This is... Bad" Virgil closed his eyes, as if trying to remember a painful memory, but the momory was buried so deep down it seems impossible to find. "W-whats bad?" Thomas asked, looking Logan's spot up and down, like Logan is gonna reappear at any second. "Lo-" Virgil stopped himself, stuttering over what the right phrasing might be, he eventually gives up, "I need to go check on Logan, you three continue doing whatever you were doing, I'll be back" Virgil sank down before anyone could respond. "Now I'm scared... What happened to Logan? Is it something I did?" Patton whispered to himself, thinking about his day and what could've hurt Logan, finding nothing. The three continued to chat, more respectfully this time, giving time for each person's answers and not cutting anyone off. If only they've done that when Logan was there... A scream from Logan's room, it's clearly Virgil's. "Virgil?" Patton puts his hand on his mouth, he couldn't bare the thought of his kiddo getting hurt. "H- L- P- M- E-" cut off screams, still Virgil's, the room is silent waiting for answers. "BR- TH- R-" one last scream, Virgil seems to have disappeared. Thomas and Patton were motionless in shock, but Roman restless and scared.

"Uhh... We should go help him" Roman said, pulling out his sword. Patton nods and turns to Thomas, "do you think you can get us there?" He asked softly, scared of what they might find. Thomas nodded quietly and closed his eyes as they all sank down slowly, the air was thick with tension and fear, they all felt heavy and were dreading the moment they rise up in Logan's room.

But they didn't, instead they rose up in Virgil's room, a purple themed dark room full of spider webs. "Thomas!" Patton called accusingly. "Sorry, I'm too scared to think about anything else but Virgil" Thomas answered as he looked down in shame. "Its alright. Patton, you come with me to Logan's room. Thomas, you stay here in Virgil's room" Roman ordered and went towards the door. "Wait but I thought you needed me to get you to other rooms" Thomas questioned. "Yes... But that's only if we're outside, once we're inside we don't need you for transport." Roman spoke fast, trying to get Thomas to shut up so he could go find Virgil. "Oh.. but-" Thomas was cut off by Patton. "Thomas, I don't know if we have time to sit around and chat, Virgil might be in big trouble!" Patton explained, trying to stay calm. Patton and Roman opened Virgil's front door, which lead to a hallway with other doors, each colored uniquely with a sign handwritten with each side's name. the charged towards Logan's door, which was the last one, standing across from Patton's room. They tried to open it but it seems to have been locked. "Logan?" Roman called, waiting for a response. "Virgil?" Patton called as well, hoping his kiddo is okay. "I'm going to kick down the door. stay back" Roman asked and took a step back, standing right in front of the door. With a loud thud, Roman kick down Logan's door, revealing an orange lit room with books scattered all around the floor, soaked in thick red blood. "Virgil?" Roman asked quietly, silently hoping he could save him from whatever nightmare he has to go through. In front of them appeared a glitching version of their beloved friend (or more), Virgil, glitching in and out of existence. "I- T- S- H- M-" Virgil kept appearing and disappearing, making his words cut out. "Him? Are you sure?" Roman asked the glitchy Virgil. "Y- E-" Virgil disappeared and didn't reappear, but Roman seems to have understood what was the problem at hand. Roman turned to Patton, but before he could speak, a cold, soft hand touched Roman's shoulder.

#logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #sander sides #sanders asides #sanders sides fandom #sanderssides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #writers on tumblr #fanfic #fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #thatsthat24 #OiW #orange is wrath #orange side #orange #wrath sanders

[charmac]

helllooooo i am absolutely obsessed with your macden sugar daddy fic. i’m not kidding when i say it has become a household name for me (in the dms with my poor, dear friend who does not even watch sunny. i have, and will continue to, bombard her with messages such as: “the macdennis fic i’ve been creaming over hasn’t been updated i’m in shambles” and thankfully you did update after that).

i went through your tumblr for a bit and saw in one of your responses you mentioned feeling a lack of encouragement to write when it feels like no one is actively requesting so i suppose this is my formal request. i am quite literally so emotionally invested in this fic. this is my high class literature (as a lit major). this is my magnum opus and i’m talking about the experience of READING it, not trying to imply this work is in any way mine.

i have sooo much i’d like to say about it but i get so scatterbrained when i think about it. i read the entire thing in one sitting and was in agony when i finished. then you updated on christmas and i read the entire thing AGAIN and i keep going back to that most recent chapter where (spoilers ig!) mac calls dennis daddy because it simply /felt right/. because he felt /safe/? oh i’m on the floor and begging for mercy. you’re brilliant. this story is brilliant. i’m a mess.

if you ever feel like people might not be interested: listen to me when i say your writing has permanently altered the chemistry of my dna and has conditioned me to check ao3 every single day with bated breath HOPING there’s an update. i love it. that’s an understatement. i LOVE IT.

i would also like to clarify that if you ever run into issues with writer’s block or even simply losing the excitement over this specific story, pls don’t feel obligated to write something you don’t want to. it’s your life!! i saw your 2023 update post and it seems like a fucking fantastic one at that, so live it to the fullest and do what you want!!

i think you’re neat. i think your writing is what leads good men to ruin (like me. i’m supposed to be reading jane eyre rn and all i can think of is your fic) /pos. truly my favorite source of sunny content across all your sunny social media.

question that i do apologize for asking if you’ve answered: the title is a fall out boy reference, right? big fan of that band. if it is, can i ask for details on the inspo?

thank u for your service solider o7

p.s. this was so needlessly long so sorry for bothering lmfaoooo but i had to say this somewhere and i think my friend is tired of hearing about the fanfic on a ship for a show she doesn’t even watch

First off, thank you so much for this, and second off don’t apologise for writing too much to me after you’ve seen the word count I spew out at random. I really appreciate your words, and I’ll tell you I’ve been in so many similar positions where I’ve been obsessed with a fic and had no one in it to relate to and have just ended up spamming a close friend instead, so to hear that’s done about my fic is really, really cool.

About prior asks, etc. I think I get down on myself a little, when I say I don’t get why people are reading or what they like and it’s hard to find motivation, it’s really just kinda my own internal struggle with all of that. (Also, I keep answering those when I'm drunk, my bad.) I get what I’m doing and what I’m writing, but I wanna make sure the audience does too. But you’re reading my words, so you must, even if you can’t (or just, don’t want to) sit down and go line-by-line of a 23k word chapter and tell me what’s going on.

Cause, I couldn’t sit down and write a full detailed list of every new episode of Sunny like that. Like, I just straight up couldn’t when they dropped. My reviews were like ‘5 stars, keysmash’ So I think there is something to be said about people really liking something, really wanting more, but maybe not having the words to vocalise or not having the time to vocalise why that is.

About wait times, updates, etc.. It is mainly about motivation, and like you’ve said I would never put out something just to put it out if it’s not reflective of what I want it to be (and know it can be). I mean, I’m not on a real deadline and I’m not getting paid, I'm writing this first and foremost for myself, so why would I rush it? Sometimes I can write thousands of words in a day, if the spark hits, but sometimes it can take months to fully form when it’s just me in my head and I still have to do shit in my daily life. And maybe I could do something to speed up that process, but I think my best work forms this way. But it does make updates painfully slow for you guys, and I apologise, cos I get that sucks.

Though, it is also spurred by external motivation: people pointing specific things out, telling me why they like something or what they see under the surface here, that stuff actually gets the gears in my head turning, back in focus. The ‘waiting for an update’ ‘pls write more’ isn’t motivation, it’s demand. (And understanding there is demand is definitely a motivator, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not a spark, it’s a push.) So the balance there is sometimes hard to match, I understand there is demand (though after Ch 7 or 8 whatever it was I genuinely thought maybe there wasn’t), and I appreciate being told that, but it can only go insofar as I have the motivation to bounce off of it. Sometimes, that’s literally just my own issue and no one can help me. You (not you, specifically, anon) just gotta trust an update will come... and if you fall out of care for Sunny in the meantime, oh well. Know I won't, lmfao.

About the Title, well, no one actually has asked me... I don't think (maybe 'cause it seems obvious?). I guess the answer is.. kind of? It is a lyric pulled from the Fall Out Boy song, but, well, a meme says it best:

The inspo is kinda what's written on the tin, wanted a title that makes it clear what it is. Don't read too much into the baseball metaphor though, it might hurt you a little in the spoilers department, if you think we're just purely having fun here...

Thanks for the ask, really really appreciate it, and knowing people like you are reading and enjoying my fic is awesome :)

#i do LIKE the song btw lmfao #i had a huge fob phase in 9th grade when save rock and roll came out #it just makes the meme funnier #but also it is true #the only inspo for pulling from the song lyric is that it worked on the level i needed it to #convey info for the plot #also now all my macden fics are song lyrics or titles bc of this one lmfao #ask #sugar daddy au

[aihoshiino]

okay so no idea how i should refer to myself as so: hi!! im the person who had way too much fun writing ai/nino toxic yuri on ao3! i was gonna just lurk (me, tumblr account with privated likes, reblogs and follows) BUT how could i with the promise of people being normal about fictional unhealthy gay women. idk if this is the optimal way to communicate i use tumblr with the sole purpose of following 4 people and digging up ai content

i am honestly so flattered (but also kinda upset at the lack of content on them aside from my own 1k word long oneshot please keep recommending if you find more stuff on them) that you enjoyed and recommended my fics considering i just straight up had no clue where i was going: okay so top priority i want them to kiss —> but also with how things are nino would probably lash out (read: bite) —> ai would be hesitant but also is so desperate that she’d still accept it happily —> this will fuel ninos idea of ai being the perfect, invincible idol —> and then i ran and tried not to trip with the rest

your translations of the side stories and blog was probably what helped me get in to oshi no ko again because even though i am still not over ai being dead i can now listen to someone talk about how great and tragic and sad and miserable she was along with all the other characters so thank you again!

also that ask for ai/nino toxic yuri visions was me lol, thanks for talking about my fic despite how short it was <3, i might de-anon myself at some point but rn im too shy for that

woof, this got a bit long. anyways love wins fr, if there was ever a day where i participate in an onk shipping war it’ll be on the side of them

LMFAO OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY TO HAVE JUMPSCARED YOU WITH YOUR OWN FIC 😭 WHAT A THING TO SEE ON YOUR OWN DASH....

that said it does make me so happy every time I hear people saying my relentless oshi no posting stands out to them to the degree that it does lol. I guess I'm in a similar place as you where, as happy as I am for it, it does make me a little sad that it feels like there's such little fan interest in lengthy meta and discussion on Ai herself outside of some really banal, surface level stuff. To a degree, I get that with other characters having so much more time on the page and having ongoing arcs to speculate about, but Ai is sooooooooo fascinating to me and it really drives me insane how often I see people make zero effort to engage with her arc beyond her utilitarian function in the story. It also really bums me out how often I see her get reduced to just a stepping stone in the arcs of other characters — even though the manga is literally shaking you right now and begging you to understand and empathize with her more than ever, I straight up see people cheering and crowing about Ruby 'surpassing' her or 'becoming the true Ai' as if this is a good thing and they are not completely fucking missing the point lmao.

ANYWAY!!!! That's enough grumping because the actual point of this response was to say: the Ai posting will continue until I am physically forced to stop!!!! I have so many thoughts about my wife constantly and if I do not share them I will explode!!!

(ps anon pspspspsp if you are ever feeling brave enough to unanon pls feel free to just send me your discord or your socmeds off tumblr if that is less intimidating for u.... honestly that goes for all my oshi no moots in general Please Talk With Me In DMs About My Wife)

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #if ai has one million fans i am one of them if ai has no fans then i am no longer of this earth

[ocalaghan]

my sweet and lovely followers whom i ask so little from......... i finished that callakarth pain!kink fic and i know -7 of you even care about that ship now but it's taken me 8 years to write this and EYE am very excited about it.

but i can't post it until i have a new ao3 username because we're Rebranding™ and that's where i need ur help bc if i spend one more hour thinking about this my head is going to burst it's been days

i've narrowed down my selection, pls just pick your fave i'm begging

#tumblr polls #personal #fully begging like on my knees tears in my eyes JUST PICK #idc if you don't read fic or my fic or whatever #it's over 8k words btw

[autistic-evil-xisuma]

1, 7, 12 for the hater ask game? 👀

1. the character everyone gets wrong

XISUMA. GOD DAMN. Ohhhhh everyone wants a stoic leader who oversees everything for their god damn fics so they just write him in like that without any understanding of him as a person or just. How hermitcraft works in general. screaming from the rooftops XISUMA ISN'T IN CHARGE OF SHIT!! the hermits make decisions collectively! Xisuma is often an organizer, and the main (but not the only!!) admin, but that doesn't make him The One In Charge .. ugh. Begging people to let Xisuma be goofy and silly and oblivious. Do not be tricked into thinking this guy has a clue what's happening at any time. He makes his tea in the oven using his bare hands.

it is however canon that xisuma is the one with the body bag! 💕

[ID: minecraft chat messages.

Xisuma: did someone say dead body?

Xisuma: do i need to get the bag again?

Xisuma: Tango

/End ID]

but no one wants to write about that, huh 🙄 /j

idk it's just really irritating the xisuma Ao3 tag being full of fics where he's just a flat side character for plot purposes. pls either give him some real personality or don't tag him when he's not a major character. you know :(

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

i have been wracking my brain for an answer on this but i honestly can't really think of one in any of my current interests. ive gotten really really good at the talent of keeping my mental version of characters firmly separate from fandom versions that i hate lmao

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

ok i feel like "unpopular" might have been meant as in disliked? here but I'm interpreting it My Own Way.

and THE DREAMER.!! yeah i Know we have like 2 scraps of information about them but they're just. ouuu so interesting to me. I just want to see more theories headcanons etc about who they are, what they are, where they came from, what are their motivations in aiding this soggy miserable excuse for an evil clone in their psychological war against dionysus's evil minion!! i have my own (not at all canon based) little thoughts about them, but. They're just someone I want to see more people go crazy about. As it is i can think of... 2 people who have posted anything about them, ever..yeag.

(im talking about th3pooka animations btw casper. sorry 💛)

ask game

#xisuma #the dreamer #ask game #hater ask game #casper

[sugar-omi]

werewolf Derek in heat with a breeding kink. That's it. Go wild with this.

didn't expect it but ty because this is the first post for kinktober LMAO but pls the way this sent a rush thru me... i'm going crazy

DAY ONE — BREEDING

*kinktober masterlist | *ao3

tags : NSFW, fem/afab readers, mindbreak, creampie, scratching, biting, overstimulation, knotting

synopsis : werewolf!derek is in rut. you help him through it, even if it leaves you sore, but especially if it means he'll stuff you with his cum and breed you.

you're so dazed.

he's been fucking you for hours, thrusting his fat dick into your poor, abused hole. you whine loudly, drool slipping from your open lips.

derek licks it up, growling into your shoulder.

you shake, overwhelmed with pleasure. you can't even think, the only thing on your mind is derek and pleasure.

his grip on your hips tighten, his claws digging into the fat of your hips and your hiss at the pain, blood pooling to the surface.

he's going to bandage it up later, as he will with many of the other scratches and bites he's left on your poor body already.

"so warm..." derek huffs, the movement of him shifting his knees to fuck you deeper makes a loud moan rip from your throat.

all you can hear is the dull clapping of his hips meeting your ass, fucking you deeply. his tip is bruising your cervix, leaving your insides aching and it should hurt but it feels so good.

you've become a slave to the pleasure, letting yourself drown in derek's arm and let your mind focus on nothing but opening yourself up to take his dick and help him through rut.

after this though... you'll definitely be different after this. usually derek makes love to you, gentle and caring and so sweet. but his rut has turned him into an animal in bed and you love it more than you should.

derek's hips stutter, finishing inside you for the nth time that night. your loud whine mixes with his growl, derek's sharp eyes focused on how the cum leaks from around his dick.

you pant, shaking on your elbows and drop your head.

but you don't have long to bask in the afterglow or catch your breath, derek easily manhandles you so that you're on your back and he pushes back into your spent puffy hole.

you yell, not even having time to think about your sensitivity before he's back to fucking you with abandon.

he leans down to kiss you, slipping his tongue in your mouth. his fangs catch on your lips but you ignore it, basking in every bit of pain and pleasure. it all feels good and it just brings you higher.

"sorry... almost done. promise..." derek mumbles against your lips, but his hands are pushing your hips down so he can fuck into you with quick thrusts, the bed sliding and bumping against the wall from the power of his thrusts.

you pant, dragging your nails down his back. you don't have the energy to call him out, you don't even have half the brain to at this point.

"i-i'm.. i'm gonna knot!" derek grunts into your ear, leaning over you and your legs are forced up to your shoulders from his body on top of you, easily slamming his dick into your weeping insides since he's practically on top of you.

you gather your remaining sense and beg, "knot me! please, please, please-"

you're turning into a mess, babbling and begging to be knotted.

derek has the nerve to try to use sense, "are you sure? i-" you snap, ignoring him. "you've came in me already! fucking knot me, you dumb dog!"

you've bitten off more than you can chew with those words, derek accepting your pleads and he starts kissing and nipping your neck as his knot starts to grow, catching on your hole and the tugging makes you whine.

you don't even realize you're crying until derek licks and kisses it away.

you lock your legs around derek's back, forcing him to go deeper.

he growls, the sound reverberating through you and you tangle your hands in his scruff, pulling him back from your neck. "knot me, 'wanna.. wanna have your pups."

derek groans, trying not to bite through your shoulder that he was marking before you forced his hand.

your vision shakes, your hands tugging on derek's hair, catching the fur of his ears and you can feel his voice rumble against your shoulder, a threatening sound to anyone else but a clear sign of pleasure to you.

the stretch burns, you've never been knotted before but after this you can't see this being the last time.

he can't move like this and you can't decide if that's a blessing or a curse, his fat tip pushing against your abused cervix and your stomach swells a bit now that his cum as no where to go.

you both moan loudly, you clinging onto derek as he cums inside you again.

he pants, his weight pushing down on you and you weakly slap his shoulders to get him off you.

derek kisses your cheek, as if to apologize for such an assault on your poor cunt. he mumbles something you don't really catch, probably something about moving you since he moves your limp body so you're on top of him.

you blink, still dazed and letting him do as he pleases. but you finally look down to see where you're connected and you can't help the moan that falls from your throat.

"derek..." you mumble, bringing your hand to your abdomen, taking in your swollen stomach and how full you fill..

you barely register derek mumbling apologies, you're so lost in thinking about how good it feels to be stuffed with his dick and cum.

"it should go down soo-"

you look at him with a loopy smile, "can't wait to have your puppies..."

derek's jaw tightens, his hands fisting the already ruined sheets. he's silent but the look in your eyes hypnotize him, "you're gonna be so pretty taking care of my pups..."

you're in for a long week.

#sugar-omi kinktober #kinktober #olba #our life: beginnings & always #derek suarez x mc #derek suarez x reader #derek suarez #derek suarez x reader smut #derek suarez x mc smut #derek suarez smut #our life derek suarez #smut #our life smut

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Protective!Ashton Masterlist

2am (ao3) - cthink calum/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: Calum can't sleep.

That is, unless he's with Ashton.

5 Seconds (ao3) - insideimasadrainbow michael/ashton, luke/calum T, 18k

Summary: "If your name is on their list, you're already dead." That's the warning message about 5 Seconds, a well known group of anonymous killers who make themselves known each year for the Purge. While the world fears these killers, David Hood remains focused on his security systems business that has celebrities such as Beyonce, Adele, and Ellen DeGeneres paying big bucks for it. Due to his lack of research and knowledge on 5 Seconds, David is oblivious to how the band of killers work off a list and has no idea that his name is has made it on there for the 4th annual Purge.

As Normal As Can Be (ao3) - Lemonwiththepuff luke/ashton M, 4k

Summary: Luke is part of the successful band 5 Seconds of Summer. While everything seems to be going just right for him, his world is slowly crashing down behind closed doors. Besides learning how to deal with his only recently diagnosed BPD, Luke is also on edge with his feelings for one of his best friends.

baby i'm gonna drink you in like oxygen (ao3) - booksteaandcake luke/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: bad boy ashton has taken young luke hemmings under his wing. it's kind of a surprise when they sleep together… but also not a surprise at all.

'“I’m not wrecking you.” Ashton scoffed, “I’m going to take care of you.”'

Can't Keep This Beating Heart at Bay (ao3) - ShortIsNotFun luke/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: Ashton's heart broke a little hearing the younger's voice absolutely wrecked from all his tears. "I'll come over, yeah? We can cuddle and eat lots of ice cream and talk. Does that sound good, sweetheart?"

or

Luke gets dumped and Ashton is always there to pick up the pieces of his broken heart

fake you out (ao3) - maiamaryse michael/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: daddirwin asked:

I BELIEVE IT'S YOUR DESTINY TO WRITE ME SOME FAKE DATING MASHTON PLS

I'm Begging You to Be My Safety (ao3) - kayehmwhy luke/ashton G, 1k

Summary: “I don’t really tell anyone unless I have to,” the younger said staring at the floor. “It’s not something i’m proud of.”

Or // Luke's emetophobic, Calum's airsick, Ashton's trying to help and Michael's asleep.

I'm Just Feeling Kinda Broken (ao3) - mlstyles257 ot4 N/R, 9k

Summary: “Is he okay?” Michael asks as he and Calum rush to where Ashton is cradling Luke on their dressing room sofa. Luke is definitely distraught, he’s hiding his face in Ashton’s tee, wailing and hiccuping on sobs. “I don’t know.” Ashton is trying to keep his voice calm, hushing and rocking Luke as the boy cries. “I didn’t even see him fall.” He presses a string of gentle kisses to Luke’s forehead, whispering reassurances as he goes. ... “Guys I don’t know what to do, he’s obviously in pain but I don’t think we can keep him up long enough to get checked out.”

aka Luke gets hurt during one of their shows and struggles with his little headspace.

I Want the World to Know (ao3) - SuperGirl13 michael/calum T, 5k

Summary: Looking back now, Michael knows that this has been a problem from the very start. He had had feelings for his best friend for as long as he could remember, and it was only a matter of time until the two got together. He and Calum were happy, teenagers in love, blissful. They didn't tell anyone, but they didn't want to, or need to. Their band was just getting leverage, and it seemed unnecessary at best. Sure their bandmates had an idea of what was going on, how could they not, they basically lived with them 24/7. It didn't matter though, Calum and Michael were happy keeping everything to themselves. Until they weren't.

or, Michael wants to come out but Calum is scared.

One Foot In The Gutter (ao3) - pommedhappy michael/ashton T, 2k

Summary: Ashton sighs, questioning his decision for a second before knocking on the door.

The thing is Michael is sad, has been for a few weeks, and Ashton can’t take it anymore. It’s not hard to understand that Michael is quite depressed right now and wants to be alone, but the way he keeps isolating himself from the rest of the band really starts to worry Ashton. That’s how he came up with a plan, in order to get Michael out of this dark place the younger boy keeps going.

It’s probably the worst decision he never took, but at this point he’s ready to try and do anything in his power to make his friend feel better.

Protector (ao3) - starstruk97 luke/ashton M, 4k

Summary: There are certain rules that come with being the eldest of your group of friends, the number one rule being: Always protect your younger friends.

" From then on, Luke joined the group, and I had someone to protect and look after. Someone to teach and guide. A baby ‘brother’. And it was my favourite thing in the world. Still is. I don’t care how many fist fights, detentions, suspensions and groundings I have received for standing up for him, I don’t and never will regret any of them because each one of them saved my little bro some kind of pain. "

taking a stand - @sup3rbloom​ (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 1k

Summary: Luke encounters a rude alpha during a radio interview, and takes a stand for himself. The boys back him. The day ends with pack cuddle

the kids will be alright, eventually (ao3) - wafflelashton luke/ashton, ashton/ofc T, 45k

Summary: ashton falls in love with his best friend, luke, and is somehow the last to know.

the situation is like a mountain that's been weighing on my conscience - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 2k

Summary: Luke is closeted and nobody outside of the band, and close family, knows that he has a secret husband. During promo for Youngblood, Luke suffers a panic attack when the interviewer asks a personal question. Cue, Ashton to the rescue and comfort.

Too Little (ao3) - starstruk97 T, 2k

Summary: Luke hates being short. Always being told he's too little or too young. People always baby him, tell him to be careful just because he's tiny or the youngest. But what's worse? When your best friends belittle you.

Or Luke is young and short, Ashton is overprotective, Ice hockey is rough, Luke gets hurt, but everything is alright in the end!

You Saved Me (ao3) - CliffordAffliction luke/ashton M, 5k

Summary: After a boy from school causes harm to Luke Ashton's protective instincts kick in and all he wants to do is make sure Luke feels safe and loved

#5sosfanfictioncatalogue #5sos fanfic #masterlists #protectiveness #protective!ashton #protective!ashton masterlist