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#pls don’t take this as an attack i don’t wanna start any drama
ohxdeer · 3 years
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I have seen a little too much negativity about the most recent LOKI tv spot. I dare say that you lot are exaggerating quite a bit after being faced with that one particular scene, claiming that Disney entirely strips (pun intended) Loki of his dignity and uses his character as nothing more than a comedic relief etc etc.
The scenes and the entire atmosphere of the tv spot is entirely different from what we’ve seen before. Much creepier and darker, from the music to the lighting to the scenes we are presented with. The only intentionally funny thing about it is the part where Loki finally receives a weapon from Mobius only to have it taken away from him seconds later.
The part where Loki is ridded of his clothes isn’t meant to be funny. Nothing about it screams “oh look haha he is naked now, this is what you wanted, right?” or anything of the like. You can tell just by the atmosphere and the music. I believe the intention of this tv spot, this scene, was to set up the TVA as more of a malicious “company” rather than a hero that saves the day (or time, in this case).
Loki’s reaction isn’t entirely out of character, either. Completely apart from the fact that he isn’t even given a chance to react properly, considering how quickly everything happens, let me ask you this; what exactly do you expect him to do? Shout and scream, throw insults?
Loki knows about the TVA. He knows that he is at a disadvantage. There’s literally nothing he can possibly do except observe the situation, try to figure out what could happen, and think of a way he could either talk himself out or escape.
I quite liked this post which casts an entirely different light on the scene. I encourage anyone to take a look at it.
That aside, we literally see someone being murdered right afterwards, even see fear on Loki’s face after witnessing such. We also see him not being okay with forcibly being stripped (facial expression & words). It is not meant to be funny.
What I take from the “infamous” scene is the following: His experience with the TVA will “force” Loki to cast his old self aside and change.
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buckyreaderrecs · 4 years
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So Far Away: Chapter 6/?
Summary:  Bucky Barnes doing what he does best. Saving. Loving. In this particular case, the object of both is you. Bucky Barnes happy, healing, doing really well!
First chapter in series. Previous chapter.
Chapter 6:  A day in the life of Bucky, while he watches over your grief-stricken sleeping body.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader Characters: Bucky Barnes, F.R.I.D.A.Y., Cecilia Reyes, Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers Additional tags: mostly canon compliant (Infinity War and Endgame didn’t happen, Stark Tower still exists),  she/her pronouns, more tags/characters to be added with future chapters, hero Bucky Barnes, canon typical violence, warzone/disaster zone setting, Alpine the cat, other Marvel characters mentioned but not central to the plot Warnings: major triggers for death of loved ones and grief, possible trigger for food, prescription medication
Note: Okay, so Bucky’s suite in Stark Tower is mapped out in my mind. I have a sketched floorplan if you wanna see it? Lemme know in the reblogs/replies/messages. Also, there is a note at the end of this chapter; pls read. Love yas!
So Far Away Chapter 6/?
Gasping for air, you sat up, scrambled around in the darkness and screamed for your mum.
The lamp came on, lighting up the bedroom and bringing Bucky into focus. "Y/N, Y/N, come here. Come on." His arms were around you, pulling you to him. "Stop. Stop. You're gonna hurt yourself." He kept trying to secure your broken hand, but you were still yelling, trying to crawl away. Not sure what else to do, he let you go. You pushed yourself right off the bed, landing half the right way up. Standing, you looked around. What were you trying to do? Where were you trying to go?
You studied everything in the room, looking for clues.
Door. You ran, stood at the threshold, finding no answers in the darkness beyond. A dresser covered in books and journals. A record player, and stacks of vinyl. Beside table. Glass and of water. Clock. 3:27 am. A city behind a window wall. A bed. Huge. Bucky, sitting with his legs arched, defeated.
He watched you walk around the room lost and confused. But, maybe it was progress.
 …
 After you balled up against the wall in the lounge room, screamed until your throat burnt, you passed out. It took hours though. Bucky considered calling for Cecilia. A sedative might have eased your pain. But, your pain was so new, so private. He decided it wasn't his place to invite anyone else into it yet. So, he waited.
Once you'd fallen asleep and he promised to look after you, he carried you to the bed and sat by your side. It was quiet in the bedroom; Bucky hadn't felt the calm of quiet for a while. He missed it. So too had Alpine, apparently. The cat came slinking into the room, refusing to look at Bucky.
"Fuck," Bucky said under his breath. "Where have you been hiding?"
Sometimes, when he knew nobody was around, Bucky would talk to the cat like he knew what he was saying. That night, while you slept, he told Alpine about you. As he heaped a double serving of food into a bowl, he apologised for forgetting breakfast. It was the first time he'd ever forgotten a meal. When he went out on missions, there was a roster of people tasked with looking after the fluffy white thing that lived with The Winter Soldier.
"Don't like having someone else here, huh?" Alpine tended to hide around people he didn't know. He was a bit of a myth to the Tower. "Promise you'll like this one," Bucky told him back in the bedroom, climbing onto the bed to sit by your side. Alpine joined him. "Think she's probably got a bit of crying to do yet though."
By about three in the morning, when Bucky felt sure you were going to sleep the whole night through, he settled down next to you and let himself sleep. Alpine was curled into his back, warm and loving.
Bucky woke at first light, an old habit he was slowly unlearning with the help of excellent blinds and strict orders to F.R.I.D.A.Y. to not let anyone come calling. That morning was different though. He got out of bed, put biscuits out for Alpine, checked in with the team, then spoke to F.R.I.D.A.Y.
"That index of Y/N's friends - does that have phone numbers?"
Bucky sat outside the bedroom, on the floor where he could see if you stirred but not wake you with his conversations.
Bonnie, owner of Glory café; boss and friend; answered in two rings. "Hello?" Her voice was already desperate.
Bucky then realised he should have practiced or asked someone else to do it. By his own admission, as he dragged you to safety through the crumbling streets of D.C., he wasn't really a people person. Although, you'd very much disagree with that now.
"Um, hi. My name is… James. I'm a… search and rescue… officer," he tried. Bonnie was tired, but hopeful; she didn't question what he was saying. "I'm notifying… friends of Y/N L/N that she's alive and safe,"
"What?! She's- Does she- Where-"
"I can't provide any more detail than that. Sorry," Bucky said, hitting his palm to his head. Idiot.
"What? Why? Who is-"
"Please pass the information on to the others that work with her," Bucky added. Before Bonnie could ask how a 'search and rescue officer' knew about your job, Bucky said, "Thank you. Goodbye," and hung up. "Fuck!"
Bucky was unsure of when he'd last done something so profoundly stupid.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y., who else is in the tower?"
 …
 "I don't know… This is a lot to take on, man," Sam said seriously, leaning against the bedroom door frame.
"I know," Bucky agreed, watching you roll over in your sleep.
Alpine, who had been asleep at the end of the bed, maybe trusting Bucky's word that he'd like you, woke up. He looked at the men in the doorway for a good couple of seconds before trotting over to them. Bucky lent down and scooped the cat up. He nodded to Sam to move back to the lounge.
"So what do you need help with?"
"I tried to call her boss. You know, start to let people know where she is - that she's alive."
Sam smirked. "And how'd that go?"
"About as good as you're thinking. I froze. Made up some really fuckin' stupid cover story,"
"Wasn't smooth?"
"Wasn't smooth," Bucky confirmed, letting Alpine jump from his arms onto the kitchenette counter.
"Did you think about telling the truth?" Sam asked, watching Alpine with distrust.
Bucky snorted. "Hi, The Winter Soldier here. I've got Y/N. Don't worry, she's passed out in my bed."
Sam rolled his eyes. "You and Steve are made for each other. Pair of drama queens,"
"Okay, what do I say then?"
Crossing his arms over his chest, Sam sighed, looked around the space. "Where'd she puke?" he asked.
"Over by the plant," Bucky replied.
Sam nodded, thought some more. "I don't know, man. You've just got to be honest. This-" he motioned to Bucky vaguely, "-is a good thing. You're doing a good thing. They're gonna be happy,"
"But what if they don't believe me?"
"Aliens just attacked their city. They're living and breathing the unbelievable."
Bucky nodded; Sam was right.
They talked some more, catching up and checking on each other in that subtle way soldiers do. When Sam left to find food, Bucky sat on the couch and stared at his phone.
Bonnie, again, picked up on the second ring. "Hello?" she greeted, sounding more tired than before.
"Hi… Um, I called before, about Y/N…" Bucky expected her to say something, but she didn't. He took a breath and continued, "I just wanted to apologise. I, um, didn't really…"
"Who are you?" she cut in.
"My name is James, but most people call me Bucky. Barnes."
Bonnie laughed. "Bucky Barnes? Like, metal arm, Captain America's Bucky Barnes?"
"I'm not Captain America's… but, yeah. That's me,"
"Is this a joke?" she asked.
"No. Um, I can video call if you want proof?" Bucky asked. Sam's suggestion.
"God, no. I look awful… I just… Yeah, okay. So… What do you have to do with Y/N?"
"I… rescued her, on the day of the attack. And, uh, she's here with me now,"
"Right, of course you did. And she's okay?"
"She busted her hand up pretty bad but it's in a cast. But, ah, she knows… about Carly and Ellie… and… both her parents-"
"No!" Bonnie gasped.
"She's asleep. I'm just gonna look after her here,"
"Yeah, well… Can't really imagine anywhere safer than with the Avengers."
Bucky felt less anxious as the call went on. When Bonnie didn't wrap up the conversation, he kept answering her questions. He asked if there was anything he could do for her. She declined; insurance would rebuild Glory and everyone she loved was accounted for. And, there was nothing Bucky could do about the dead. 
Bonnie was just relieved to talk to someone who didn't tell her everything was going to be okay. By the time they ran out of things to say, they said goodbye and Bucky promised to call again with an update.
Bonnie had given Bucky enough courage to call Luke, then Elizabeth. Elizabeth sobbed, both in joy that you were alive, and in grief for your parents. All up, Bucky spent about ninety minutes on the phone. He knew more about you, had a little insight into your life before him. By all accounts you were living a life of relative happiness. Whatever it took, he'd get you back to that. However long it took.
 …
 Lunchtime rolled around and you'd not woken up. Or, if you did, you had passed back out pretty quickly.
Dr Cecilia Reyes came to check on you. Like Sam, she stood at the door of the bedroom and put on a worried expression. "Wilson swung by," she said.
"Told you about her family?" Bucky guessed.
"Yeah. Think he's just worried about you, taking this all on,"
"I'm fine,"
"I know that. She won't be though… I brought her these." Out of her pocket, she produced a pack of triazolam. "They'll knock her out, but won't keep her asleep. She'll do that herself. When she's up, try to get her to eat something. And drink water,"
"Should she… I mean, is there anything else?"
Cecilia sighed. "Unfortunately not, Barnes. You're doing everything already. But, you know… you should probably decide where she's going." She pushed off the doorway and made her way back through the suite.
Bucky followed. "What do you mean?"
"Well, is she going to stay with anyone you spoke to today? Or family somewhere?" Cecilia looked at Bucky. "Were you… You're just gonna keep her here?"
Not once since meeting you and bringing you home had Bucky even thought of an alternative to you staying with him. Cecilia saw Bucky's blank expression.
"Oh,"
"I mean-" Bucky went to say.
"No, no. It's fine-"
"But I-"
"Barnes, it's fine," she said, putting her hands up. "You don't need to explain. Let me know if either you need anything else, okay?"
Bucky sighed. "Thanks, Doc. Will do… Most of the team are back tonight, so you might be a bit busy,"
"I've always got time for you, doll," she replied, grinning.
 …
 Bucky Barnes spent most of his time reading. He liked non-fiction best. He read about machines, history, revolutions, and bugs. That's what he did all day, waiting for you to wake up. But, you didn't.
He ate the freezer out of ice cream, and the suite out of any other food. There wasn't much. "Gotta go shoppin', hey fluff?"
It was around four in the afternoon when Steve Rogers walked in, carrying what looked like an entire supermarket's stock.
"Buddy, you are my hero," Bucky said, pulling things from the bags before Steve had a chance to put them on the kitchenette counter.
Steve laughed. "Figured your kitchen would be as empty as mine,"
"Mmmm. S'like your psychic,"
"And word is that nobody's been in or out here all day," Steve said, reminding Bucky a lot of Sarah Rogers and her disapproving tone.
"Maybe people should mind their business,"
"People are looking out for you, Buck. Can't be mad at that."
Steve and Bucky cooked together. An early dinner or late lunch. Something that made them feel like kids in Brooklyn, living together with not much between them.
Alpine sat in Steve's lap while Bucky told him about you - the whole story, from start to finish in much detail. At the end, Steve rocked on his chair, tried to hold back a trademark shit-eating grin.
"What? What's that look for?" Bucky asked, throwing a piece of food across the table at his best friend.
"You-" and he stretched that one word out, "-like her."
Immediately, Bucky started to ramble. "Course I like her. She's… sweet. Doc likes her. She's got friends that love her. Doesn't deserve to be all messed up because-"
"No, nope," Steve interrupted. "Not what I mean, and you know it. You like her,"
"Steve, I've known her for a couple days. Most of that time she's been passed out,"
"So?"
"So, we aren't all the love at first sight, one true love, I'm gonna die alone, hopeless romantic, ya know?"
Steve snorted. "You get so bitchy when you're embarrassed,"
"I'm not embarrassed!" Bucky almost-squeaked. Steve's eyebrows raised dramatically. "Fuck off,"
"Whatever. I can see it in your face. You like her."
There was no use arguing with Steve. Bucky conceded. "She's… I don’t know,"
"I remember when you used to know exactly what you liked about a dame you were sweet on… You'd go on about how she laughed at your jokes, or her red lips, or how she drank whiskey,"
"Dame," Bucky repeated. Steve was an anachronism, still. "Guess it's more complicated now,"
"Guess so," Steve agreed. "Glad you found her,"
"Yeah, me too. She'd probably be dead if-"
"No, Buck. I mean, her. Specifically. I'm glad there's something good comin' out of this one,"
"Getting sappy in your old age, punk."
Steve laughed, shaking his head. The men shared a look that said they were on the same page, jokes aside.
"So, you gonna hang around for a  bit?" Bucky asked.
"Yeah. We got that meeting at seven, but I'll stay 'till then. Should I tell 'em you're not coming?”
"Yep," Bucky said, standing up and relocating himself to the couch. Alpine jumped from Steve and followed Bucky, finding a new place to nap.
 …
 Bucky spent the rest of the night watching things on his list. He started with Hercules, like you'd mentioned, then Sam's recommendation of The Princess Bride. Bucky fell asleep on the couch, old episodes of The X-Files lulling him to sleep.
At two am Bucky woke, ate a bowl of Cheerios, then checked on you. You were still passed out, so he climbed onto the bed and watched your back rise and fall as you slept on your stomach.
3:27 am and you woke up gasping for air. After the screaming and crawling, and after you'd taken inventory of the entire bedroom, you looked Bucky.
"You're safe. Do you know where you are?"
Your breathing was heavy, laboured; you had to push the air out through the gunk stuck in your throat. "Yeah…"
Bucky waited, not moving from where he was sitting on the bed.
The headache and haze of too much sleep had clouded your mind for those first few minutes. You were confused, stuck in your nightmare, but seeing Bucky focused you. You were alive.
But not everybody was.
Tears began to pour down your face again.
"Darlin'," Bucky whispered, sitting up on his knees and holding his arms open. With no hesitation, you threw yourself into him. "I know, I know," he said, holding you, letting you collapse into him.
For thirty more minutes, you sobbed. When you sat up on your own, Bucky held a glass of water to your lips. You put your hands around his and let him help you drink.
"What do you need?" Bucky asked, trying to read your expression and body language. You wanted to answer but were, in all honesty, numb, save for the pounding headache. "If you can, you should try to eat something."
Although you nodded, you had a vacant and faraway glassiness to your eyes. For a second, Bucky considered just getting you back into bed and to sleep, but who knew when you'd wake up again.
Out in the suite, you sat at the round table and looked over at Bucky as he stood in the middle of the kitchenette. "Sandwich, maybe? How 'bout… Anything, actually. Fully stocked. Thanks to Stevie." Bucky lined up jars of peanut butter, strawberry jam, Nutella, and marshmallow Fluff.
Something about the benign normality of a simple sandwich made you feel, at the very least, okay. It wasn't easy to stand up, but you did. You walked to the jars and picked up the peanut butter and Fluff.
"Girl after my own heart."
Bucky made fluffernutter sandwiches, handing you a spoon of Fluff halfway through. You stood at the counter, slowly eating. In the time it took you to finish your sandwich, Bucky ate his, made a second, and ate that too. It made you smile.
"I'll make a cup of tea, and we'll get you back to bed," Bucky said, quiet, soft.
Part of you wanted him to act normal. Be a little bit more cheeky, or something. The other part of you was so sure you'd never be functional again, that you were more than happy to let Bucky take total control.
"Okay,"
"'Kay. Milk, two sugars," he checked.
"How do you know that?"
"Café. We had tea,"
"Oh," you said, nodding, trying to remember something that had happened less than 24 hours ago.
Bucky started to make tea. You watched his movements, your eyes following him around the kitchen. When done, he nodded to the bedroom, and you began to walk.
Without conversation, you got into bed and sat against the headboard. Bucky held out the mugs of tea to you. He climbed in next to you and took his mug, blowing on the top of it.
You snickered at the action. It made Bucky's stomach flip.
"Excuse me?" he said, whipping his head around to face you.
"What's the point in that? Doesn't do anything,"
"Alright, well, I ain't making you do it," Bucky replied, grinning. You smiled back.
It had just gone 4:15. The sun would be up soon but the light wouldn't easily find its way in. Bucky finished his tea, fished his phone of the bedside table. "Sleep music," he said, looking up briefly. From speakers you couldn't see, a familiar sound began.
"You listen to lo-fi hip hop streams?" you asked, the disbelief in your voice animating you in a way Bucky hadn't seen since you woke up.
"Yeah, so?" he said, one eyebrow raised.
You shrugged. "Full of surprises."
Bucky smiled.
When your tea was gone and you were tucked into bed, that's when you started to think again. Feel it again. Bucky could sense the shift. "Here," he said, sitting up and grabbing the box Cecilia had left. He punched two pills out of the sheet. You lifted your head just enough to let Bucky put them on your tongue, then help you wash them down with water. You didn't ask what they were, but were grateful when you felt the swelling pressure of forced sleep shut down your brain.
Chapter 7
NOTE: Two things. Firstly, I'm thinking I might jump ahead in time, because logically the next step for Y/N would be to see her extended family, attend funerals, possibly even help with the planning. I'm not sure that this is something that would be entirely enjoyable for you as the reader of this fic. Let me know what you think? If you do want the painful reality of death mapped out like that, I can do it. Choose your own sad adventure lol.
Secondly, and still on the topic of grief, I just wanted to, I don't know, just maybe say that because of my own experiences with grief and loss (most recently and most painfully, my big brother), I know how weird it is. It comes in waves, all the bad feelings, and sometimes you can sit there totally normal, even joke, and sometimes you don't move for an entire day. I'm definitely using my own experiences to shape how Y/N is behaving. So, it's not that I'm writing her as inconsistently sad, it's that grief is an inconsistent effector of mood. I don't know why I felt like I had to explain that, but I feel better for having done it. *shrugging girl emoji lol*
TAGLISTS (open, msg me) So Far Away: @animegirlgeeky @howthehellisbucky @dumbubblegum @chipilerendi All my work: @bubbabarnes @browngirlmagic @lookalivefrosty @aynaraxas @vibraniumwitch @just-kara-no-hats @fairislesheets (IT LET ME TAG YOU!)
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peantbuttr · 4 years
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meet  ASTRID NILSSEN,      the  twenty three  year old waitress who moved to dayton three months ago.  she’s known as  playful  &  selfish  in equal parts.  astrid  uses she/her pronouns & identifies as bisexual.
hello all !! i’m tea, and i’m in the discord chat if y’all wanna plot or talk !! astrid and i are excited to be here !! sorry this got a lil long. hopefully it’s okay kjgsfgs
i do have severe rape trigger, so while we’re all adults here, please warn me before mentioning and/or refrain from going into detail about plots involving these things so i can manage my shit, you know? you do you, but i also do me, and i just don’t have enough booze to field a panic attack today fgkdfgsg
otherwise pls hit me up and plot. i’m a shy person but if you want plots, i’ll bust my booty to get em for you : ‘)
                     * /  intro. 💋
name:   astrid nilssen
nicknames:  n/a, but if someone gave her one she’d fucking melt
age, bday:   23, june 7th
zodiac:   gemini 
sexuality:    bisexual, no preference
gender:  female, using she/her pronouns
character traits:  flighty, playful, aggressive, intelligent, creative, ambitious, spoiled, selfish
alignment: chaotic neutral, esfp, slytherin
                      * /  past. 💋
tw verbal abuse, age gap, abortion
born in europe from a loveless marriage between a well-bred british socialite and the young heir of an american corporate dynasty, astrid spent most of her life jumping between boarding schools and holidays foisted off on either set of grandparents
all this served to do was isolate her more: she couldn’t fit in with european girls, and she wasn’t familiar enough with america to fit in there either. the isolation grew.
her grandparents didn’t love her any more than her parents did – old money with old values, they ridiculed her for being not skinny enough, too skinny, not pretty enough, too girlish, too stupid, too smart – nothing she did was enough… nothing she did would ever be enough
their constant demanding and belittling left astrid bitter, tired and constantly trying to do better, so much so that it was exhausting, and she felt like she was tiptoeing over glass
she hardly ever saw her parents, let alone saw them within the same room as one another – and quickly she learned that the easiest way to get positive  attention was to demand it. she grew from acting out in class to shoplifting to getting high during the school days
each time she got a final warning from yet another school, her parents would show up, lavish her in gifts to bribe her into obeisance, and for once astrid would feel loved
it escalated and escalated, however, as astrid started pushing further and further in order to earn what she craved, the attention & validation from her family that drove her to just about every extreme she could think of
so it’s no wonder that astrid, a narcissistic little daredevil, fell in love with the first person that showed her the attention she craved. within six months she was devoted to her partner: a much older, and much more controlling person than she’d ever imagined herself with.
it lost its shine, however, when astrid found out she was pregnant just after turning twenty two. she panicked. she knew somewhere in her that she could not trust her partner to take care of her, and she knew that she could not be, and desperately didn’t want to be, a mother.
so she got an abortion. to hide it from her controlling parents, she bought herself expensive trinkets and sold them at pawn shops, and afterwards, nothing felt the same. 
it opened her eyes -- and, after withdrawing several thousand dollars from her trust fund, she disappeared and left home to find a future in dayton.
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                     * /  present. 💋
of course her parents keep tabs on her: she sees familiar faces lurking outside her apartment almost daily. still, no one has harassed her yet, and at the moment that’s all she can hope for.
although starting fresh and without a constant family fortune to guide her, so far she’s found working to be mostly agreeable. she waits tables at a little dive club in dayton, using her girlish charm to wiggle tips out of even the most tight-fingered bastard
she’s still selfish and wild, difficult to control, and interested in little else but her next thrill. hell only accentuated her headstrong unruliness, and this is sure to be a problem for her.
muleheaded and relentless, when she gets her teeth in something and decides she likes it, it’s almost impossible to get her to let go.
still, one can earn a semblance of comfort and friendship with her, as much as any narcissist can offer; she’s endlessly loyal to those who earn it, and although her capacity for true effortless kindness has never been nurtured, she makes a needy, protective and attentive friend
                    * /  specific wanted plots. 💋
an old and familiar friend —  she leads an isolating life, though somehow has found a relic of her tumultuous past. this person knew her as a spoiled little rich girl, and knows her now adjusting to hard work and the realities of life as an average person -  open to any gender
a mentor —  rarely does astrid trust anyone with asking for advice and help in her life. still, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and has been raised in a guilded cage: she has to open up to someone and ask what the fuck she’s supposed to do with her taxes. this person is the most trusted friend and ally she has, and the only person who has so far been allowed to see that she really is still just a scared little girl in need of attention -  open to any gender, though preferably a little older / more experienced in life than she is
                   * /  plot ideas. 💋
sexual
i’m open to literally anything .... the standard fwb, hookups & one night stands 
ppl who want a tiny, angry girl to boss them around idk
u need a wlw eightball? astrid is here to help
u need a third to spice things up with ur girl? astrid is here to help
someone she’s uhhh trading favors with cause she’s got Ambition and one of them is a lot of money of her own
romantic
hedonism is her jam so there’s only a few of these i’m putting down
although yooo imagine the drama if someone objectively better than her did catch her eye.... nice
unrequited crush  —  someone astrid caught feelings for and knows they don’t feel the same. she’s trying to work through it, but this person gives her butterflies, she can’t help it. highly undignified for her. wtf is this feeling, get it away from her -  /lays down reverse card  —  someone who wants some angst in the form of unrequited feelings for a tiny brat. unwise, but it happens
break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored  —  a friend to whom astrid played side-chick while they figured out shit with their girl... then made the mistake of getting attached. it’s going to end terribly, she knows, but why not enjoy it while it lasts?
platonic
other people who work in the service industry like a co-workers / boss (still deciding where she works, so if ur muse needs an employee hmu ok), people she’s met at a bar, people she’s known for years somehow, etc.
yin to yang ; someone who is calm and shy, matching astrid’s small, fight-me, wild child energy and balancing her out. astrid’s not sure what she should do with them, but also can’t stop bothering them
heart-to-heart friend ;  someone who sees through all of astrid bullshit, aggression and drama and sees that even through the dramatic haze of brattiness and selfishness , she’s genuinely fuckin... sad underneath it all. they don’t take her shit and coax honesty out of her
ex roommate ; someone whose couch she crashed on when she first arrived, before she got herself her own place. she probably didn’t really ask before deciding she was staying with them and tbh prob was annoying as hell. so it could be a fun connection
negative ; someone who hates her and has tried to fuck her shit up, someone she’s had a falling out with, someone she was Too Mean To, someone she plays mean pranks on, someone who annoys the shit out of her, oo even an ex could exist.... idk fuck me up fam
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tellywoodtrash · 5 years
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ebss 30.07.19 lb
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this asshole is playing "hum tum ek kamre mein bandh ho..."
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reasonable reaction to being stuck in closed space with someone who is possibly a sociopath.
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also reasonable reaction.
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idhar pooja ka psychoanalysis chal raha hai, ki why she keeps picking kabir over chopra sr.
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props to ranjeet for acknowledging kabir’s handsomeness.
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ffs rani, you clearly heard them talking about "rani ko pataane ka kya hua" and still fell for their nonsense about pooja/kabir. ouffffffffff, kya karoon main iss bewakoof ladki ka.
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ugh chachi is now doing drama in jai/sonali's college also. so annoyingggggggggggg.
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idhar abhi bhi cheekhna-chillana and general dumbassery. iss desh mein tower pe chadhke bhi network naseeb se milta hai, lift mein kya khaak milega????
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some return groping for the stunt he pulled in the office. how you like them apples, kabir??
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i missed shrenu's comedy. haaaaye gauri ki yaad aa gayi.
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god fuck off ranjeet i wanna see pooja/kabir grope each other.
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also how many times this same rose petals on the fan waala plan? kuch naya socho pls.
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awwwwww. amma deserves something nice like this.
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ouff ainvayi ka dream sequence. this show's comedy is so blah. you have shrenu and zain who are so good at it, and aanchal whose an actual standup comedian and this is the nonsense we have to sit through. fucking fwding.
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"kuch bhi hota rehta hai yahaan." that's what they should change the name of this show to. coz truly......... KUCH BHI hota rehta hai yahaan.
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rani ko mauka mila nahi she started her passive-aggressive bitching.
idhar mummy is calling chanda and ............ ouff i really don't care, give me the idiots in the elevator.
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zyaada hi cool banne ki koshish by kabir. no one is buying.
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bohut hi bhadda writing, esp for such a ripe situation. par iss show se expect hi kya kar sakte hain... i am only here for these faces. these faces that should be furiously making out right now.
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oh daaaaaaaaamn, rani is first jaBir conspiracy theorist in canon (or is it dhruv???) amma is not taking kindly to the suggestion but is this show really going there???????
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amma trying to make rani understand the sacrifices pooja has undergone for her all her life, but this beghairat.........
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great. the fucker has triggered her into a panic attack. keedein pade tujhpe kabir mittal. is shakal ke dumm pe tu kuchhhhh bhi nahi kar sakta.
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god rani you're the worst. the worstttttt.
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oh NOW he's trying to calm her down.
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haaaaaaaye. in any other show............. khair, chodo.
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OH NOW SHE CARES ABOUT DI, HUH???????
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rani v/s chanda. battle of the beghairats. do not care.
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fucking raniiiiiiiiiiii, yeh nahi ki she's genuinely worried about her sister; she wants minute by minute account of pooja and kabir's activities in the time they were in the lift. SEX MACHA RAHEIN THE DONO, OK??????? KHUSH????
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amma still brokering for peace between jaBir. truly the only one in this show with a functioning brain cell.
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DID THIS FUCKER DO THIS?????? I HAVE A FEELING HE DID.
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god which fucking psycho mittal brother is following her tomorrow? the one who's all talk or the one who's the textbook example of male fragility?????
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it's dhruv. kabir wouldn't do this shit. (would he?????????)
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chaseagainstonision · 6 years
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I just wanna cover this for a bit. The screenshots from the Discord server are as follows: post 1 post 2 post 3 post 4 Full disclosure that I am the user Broke: pls subscrib and that our mods are the users who's names are in red. Also, I know that I've talked about this so much in my gender tag, so most of you have prob'ly seen this argument before. For the first image: It's not about being strictly being anti-onision or anti-taylor. That's not exactly how the server works. We can talk about how shitty they are and the things about them. That's what the anti-onision and the anti-taylor channels are for. We can also criticize them an not have an intence dislike for one or the other (like be okay with Taylor and not okay with Gerg, for example). The whole reasons that you were muted was because you were being incredible ruse and were going to invalidate other people becuase of their gender by saying "if it is allowed to be, i will start analyzing everyone's gender in the server." I only said that it was fine by me because it seemed that you were going to do it regardless of any sort of consensus. And I figure, if you attack me, you're leaving the rest of the server alone. But we're not out here attackign your gender identity, so I have no idea why you got incredibly defensive. When I talk about Taylor's gender issues, I'm only referencing it in regard to them. That's it. Not you, not anyone else. I'm not out here toquestion the validity of your gender or anyone else's gender aside from Taylor's, and for good reason. It's not like I'm purposely misgendering them, either, as I go out of my way to use the proper pronouns, even if I doubt their gender identity. But the reasons I do question their gender is 1) it one of the only things that they talk about 2) they make it their whole personality where that's all they are is their gender and that's it 3) their stance on gender dysphoria and their attempt to backpeddle 4) the fact that they are so against being called feminine and what have you while doing traditionally feminine things and wearing traditionally feminine things (not that, in general, there's anything wrong with that, just their unwillingness to admit they like feminine things) 5) claim that they have basically cripling dysphoria, but run around in videos and what not half naked and showing off their body (then taking the time to edit said videos) 6) Gerg's influence over them and him pushing them into other situations that they initially didn't want to be in and then renaming them (which I have made very clear that A] he renames his partners a lot, regardless of gender and B] it's incredibly uncomfortable for me), which is possible he pushed them into this, too 7) They have and still do weaponize their pronouns when people use the wrong ones, especially if it's a detractor 8) their refusial to go to a doctor and start hormones, stating that they don't want male body hair (darker leg hair, facial hair, etc) or to look explicitly male via hormones and/or getting surgery and I really can just keep listing reasons at this point. It's not really that you were being sarcastic. People are sarcastic in the server all the time. But, the fact that you called all of us "sensitive" because one of the mod put you in a time out? All becuase you were being rude to the rest of us in the server? Nah, man, that's not how this works. It's more about the fact that, whenever the issue about Taylor's gender comes up, we all talk about it in a civil maner and eventually agree to disagree while you just kept stirring up conflict about it. We're not out here to invalidate anyone. I've let this be known countless times. A lot of us in the community are some stripe of LGBT+. I, myself, am genderfluid and bi/pan. Most, if not all of us know what it's like to be invalidated or misgendered or what have you. You trying to take this weird moral high ground isn't doing you any favors. We're all pretty accepting people in regard to sexuality and gender. It's just that there comes a time where someone does something that you start to think on and question and that's where the debate over Taylor's gender comes in at because there are a ton of red flags everywhere. And I know that I've talked about this before, too, but if you're trans (like, trans trans and not just nonbinary, because there are differences in transitioning/not transitioning), you should transition and have dysphoria. Taylor claims to be trans (transmasc as of recently) but has said in the past that they're only really bothered that they're chest got bigger and their hips got wider (that's all due to having two kids). A simple fix for that would to at least get a breast reduction. Them saying that alone makes me believe that they just have body dismophia and not gender dysphoria. Because when I'm going through dysphoria, I wanna just rip my tits off and hate that I have a vagina. Taylor seemingly doesn't have those feelings, just generally going through what most people go through when they hate parts of their body. So no, it's not that no one has the right to analyze someone else's gender. It's that, in certain cases, there's a cause for debating someone's gender for the very reasons that I have stated above. For the second image: I don't have all of the conversation for this (since op blocked whoever they were talking to), but I will answer what I can see. I feel that people can comment on any post that is posted to a public forum. This site is basically a public forum and allows other users to post/reply on whatever posts they want. To sit and say that peopel can't comment is ridiculous. But most of the people commenting know what transphobia is, so this elitism is stupid. I already stated this above. Any time that you have come in to comment, you've started something. It's not that we're sensitive, trust me. We can engage in civil discussion about "hot button" issues and not have a huge problem. We've done it before since Taylor's gender is, indeed, a hot button issue. But I'll just leave it here for this image For the third image: That's... kinda the point? To showcase someone who is bringing in drama, most people won't censor out that name. Plus, both on Discord and here, you have the same user icon. Most of us already have false usernames, anyway, so what does it matter? My actual username on Discord is ChaseArts, anyway, but it's not like someone is going out of their way to doxx you or something. Just exposing what had happened in the server. Why would Gerg shit talk himself, lmao. That's got to be the dumbest theory that I have ever heard. If it were Gerg, he wouldn't willingly let a bunch of his detractors into his server, let alone to shit talk him and his spouse. Anyway, who has compared you to Gerg? That's a dumb comparison, too, honestly. But it's not that you were right and we were wrong. It's not an objective sort of thing. It's people opinions and you got way to salty and took it personally, for some reason. You were put in time out because you were stirring the pot. The mods were doing their job. The same woud happen if you were on another server with several mods, though I'm not certain if they would just put you in time out of just boot you completely.
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kaspbrakemyneck · 6 years
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Psa 4(??): my take on Jack Dylan Grazer
So at first, I didn’t even know what the fuck was going on, all I saw on my dash was “tHiS bLOg nO loNgEr sUPpOrTs jAck dYLaN gRAzEr” And so I was like “???the hell??” sO I did some research and this part is for everyone that has no idea what the fuck is going on and why everyone suddenly hates jack:
Apparently he
-did some drugs (vape/weed/cigs)
-is dating this girl Ellie who is said to be some sort of snake
-is supporting fack (??)
-and the major one rn: got exposed by this random girl (her name is Talia) he apparently used to date; saying that he was a toxic person and was being a dickbag, not letting her feel good about herself, and a bunch of other stuff, oh and she was crying so that made everyone move to her side
Yeah things aren’t looking so hot for Jack;;;
And you know what everyone decides to do?
Call him names, tell him he needs to die, making him into Billy Hargrove Jr.,
And wait wait wait, hear me out before you start yelling at me for “supporting” someone like him.
First of all he’s 14 so he’s kind of dumb and I just want to clarify, are we really getting mad at him for smoking weed? I mean, the guy didn’t even inhale, and I can tell you, that billions of teenagers do that stuff every fucking day, take a look at my school, 90% of it is on some sort of drug. We aren’t is parents so we shouldn’t be acting like it. I mean, his life is basically documented 24/7 so something is bound to slip up.
And about the whole Talia thing, I don’t know how to feel about that I mean, I’m pretty sure a majority of the IT CAST fandom is on instagram, but how did we even find this girl again?? Did she just pop up and be like “yo I dated Jack forever ago and bc of all the drama that’s stirring up I’m gonna share my history with him since he already looks bad” ? please enlighten me because I have no fucking idea who this girl is or how she became noticed
And if she’s his ex, then they must have dated when he was wHAT like 12? 13? And those are ages where you’re pretty dumb, and trying to find yourself and you fuck up and it’s fine.
But mentally/verbally abusing someone isn’t fine. Although he might have been a dumb kid, I just don’t think that’s okay. And maybe it’s not 100% his fault?? Like part of it HAS to be his parents fault like how the fuck do you just let your kid act like that to someone??
I don’t know the full story, like did he just end it like that? Did Talia end it? Did he apologize? We don’t fUCKING know there’s too many loose ends.
I mean, if this were me, I’d be having a panic attack for all this drama coming back up from the past. But I wouldn’t apologize for the weed. That’s an experience lots of people wanna try.
But overall, I don’t give a fuck about what Jack decides to do or what he did. That’s his problem, not mine. And unfortunately he has to deal with it the hard way, without any privacy since people won’t leave him the fuck alone.
If you don’t want to support him, fine. If you do, whatever.
I just hope that the more he grows the more he will learn to be careful about what he does in the public and he can be drama free for a time.
But whatever I’m not Jack Dylan grazer so I can’t control him I’m not his mom so everyone should just chill
Although the name jack dylan bLAZER IS FUCKING COOL no it’s not pls don’t yell
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gaybluesargent · 6 years
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do you have any podcast recommendations?
oh you bet i do!!!! they’re mostly the Obvious ones because i’m a fake nerd, but here u go!! under the readmore bc it’s looong:
story-based podcasts:
- the bright sessions. this is my Top Fav right now!! it’s a scripted contemporary audio drama that follows the therapy sessions of people with ~strange powers~! there’s a teenage boy with the power to feel other people’s emotions, a lady who time travels when she has panic attacks, a girl who can’t help but read minds... and a bunch more. there’s lots of lgbtq rep (two gay boys; a bi boy; a pan ace girl; a lesbian), all which is handled really elegantly. my favorite thing about this show is that it’s super character-driven and that it does grey morality in a way that is super nuanced and refreshing, so! if you like that! 
- the penumbra podcast. i’m not fully caught up on this one, but i’m through season one and i Love It!! it’s a scripted scifi-nior audio drama that follows a detective who lives on mars in the 30th century. there’s lots of ~crimes~ to solve and the main character, juno steel, has a vibrant personality and a tragic backstory and. gah. i adore him. there’s lots of lgbtq rep in this one too (juno is nb and bi; he has a male love interest; loTS of side characters are casually not cis and not straight) and it’s tbh my favorite scifi i’ve seen in a long time, in that it doesn’t get tied up with overexplaining itself and really has fun in a future-world. i really enjoy the way it subverts expectations, and i think it does some really breathtaking writing! 
- the adventure zone: this one is a little different because it’s not scripted. it’s a dnd podcast. but. like. listen. i don’t give a shit about dnd. but i LOVE this show. it starts off kind of stupid for the first few episodes, but it spins into one of the most epic and expansive and creative stories i’ve ever heard! it’s got a big cast of characters and it’s another fun approach to a dry genre — it takes a lot of liberties with dnd and instead prioritizes telling a cool story, which sometimes means throwing scifi elements in and throwing dnd out completely. the humor isn’t for everybody but personally i find it really enjoyable (especially after the first 2 arcs) and there’s always an emphasis on like... hope and love and the power of friendship in a way that i find really refreshing and really lovely! like. this show just wants to make you happy. and also make you cry but in the happy way. [if you like dnd/tabletopping podcasts and want more recs like this, hit up @theunacceptablepylades, i know nico knows some good ones!!]
other podcasts:
- wonderful! i really really love this one. it’s a podcast all about celebrating things that make you happy and it’s so unashamedly positive and it never fails to cheer me up! like idk what to say other than it’s just. so happy!
- emo hour podcast: this one is brand new but i highly recommend it! basically it’s just like.. an hour of eclectic music with commentary, and it makes for super easy listening. perfect for like.. if you’re doing chores or if you just wanna have something playing in the background while you take a nap or something!
if you want more details about where to start with these, or trigger warnings about any of them, pls message me! i seriously adore all of these and i’d be more than happy to talk about them with you!!
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ask-svt-hearteu · 6 years
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Written Scenario Requests and Moodboard Requests are now OPEN!
Admin: Hello everyone!!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR 2K FOLLOWERS!!!! We’re all screaming and after finally clearing all our old written requests and the dates from our 1k follower special, we will now open written requests again as well as open moodboard requests! Please keep in mind we will be adhering to our rules and guidelines for requests and will be listing moodboard request rules below. Also note that since all of us are in school, we may not get requests up right away, so if we get a lot we may choose to close them again until further notice, it all depends. Thank you all for your love and support again! <3
Moodboard requests:
either one member, ship or unit at a time
preferably tell us a color theme (like red, blue, black, etc.)
up to two colors per moodboard
or
tell us a theme
it can be something like “boyfriend aesthetic” or “inspired by the Jun soulmate au” or “based off svt’s song don’t listen in secret” or something like “autumn Soonyoung” as examples
Here’s an example moodboard: “Minghao couple nature aesthetic” 
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“‘You said you like the sun, but when you go outside you find shade. You said you like the rain, but when it rains you use an umbrella. That’s why when you said you like me, I was afraid.’ The8 told me that.” -Junhui 
ALSO… If you guys wanna read it, here are some things the admin have to say^~^
Admin Soph: I'm honestly so proud of how far this blog has come. Went from a follower to an admin real fast  😂. No but really. I was freaking nervous when I sent in an application. I wanted to be a part of this blog to strengthen my writing skills (and love for Seventeen) and get to know the amazing people behind it. But I also didn't know whether I would be able to give you guys content that you all will like and deserve. AND I HONESTLY DONT KNOW WHY IM EVEN HERE HAHA.
And I just want to appreciate every single one of you. You guys are literally the sweetest bbys ♥️ ♥️ . My heart always warms up when we receive an ask and it’s for the admins asking whether we're okay and taking care of ourselves. I just want to cuddle you all in warm blankets and take care of you. And I'm saying this now if you guys ever have any problem and feel like talking to someone.Or if you just want to be friends. We're always here~ 
And on that note. To all the mutuals that I have had the chance to talk to. Y'all are amazing. I don't understand why you guys are still talking to me tbh. That's why you're all precious to me ohmygod 💞 💞 . Also, I'm sorry if I don’t reply much. IM A VERY INTROVERTED PERSON AND I ALWAYS MAKE SITUATIONS AWKWARD AHAHA. But if you guys want to talk to me about something, I’ll drop everything and talk to you. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU DESERVE LOVE AND I SHALL GIVE YOU LOVE IF YOU NEED IT  💞 💞 .
Imma write something for Jun too. Because I’ve been with this baby boy for a very long time. I love him so so much 💖 . There are times where I want to fight him. And there are times where I just want to bubble wrap him and protect him. Literally makes me go through different emotions in one day. But mostly it’s the feeling of happiness. Jun is a big reason as to why I'm slowly loving myself. With him being a funny confident dude, I found out that I can be like that too. And ever since I did, I have been feeling nothing but happiness and I want to thank him for that. I hope I will be able to meet him someday and tell him what a wonderful human being he is.
Now to the amazing and beautiful admins. Imma write something for each one of you but first and foremost I just want to say that ya’ll are precious to me. I might not talk a lot and barely reply in the gc (iM SOWI I WILL CHANGE THAT I PROMISE HAHA). But know that you guys have a very special place in my heart. And that's beside Seventeen. Been only a few months and I'm very thankful that I met yall. You guys are like my family at this point and I wanna keep it at that even after this blog.
Now onto Jess. My fave Joshua stan no joke. LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL AND HAS A VOICE OF AN ANGEL I SWEAR SHE’S PERFECT FOR JOSHUA FIGHT ME. Literally the sweetest human being. Even though she’s older than me, I want to protect her ohmygod. I love Jess very much. You guys don’t even know. She is very nice. I don’t know how she is able to keep that image tbh. She is also very VERY HARDWORKING. I want to freaking start a petition for Jess to rest. It amazes me how she copes with all this school work and with this blog. And man if you ever need someone to coo about Joshua, Jess is that person. She is so whipped in love with Shua. And with Jun second on her bias list and with Joshua on mine, we both basically die because of Junshua. 
Meagan is next!! Meagan is literally the definition of aesthetic . Literally from her fashion style and her freaking bullet journal. And her bias is aesthetic himself asdfghjk. And also her writing style. I adore her writing very much. And I literally asked her for writing advice HAHA. She is a very soft-hearted person. And a very good person to ask advice from. Like I would definitely go to her if I ever have a problem. sHE IS ALSO VERY PRETTY????? LIKE HER INSTAGRAM MAKES ME QUESTION MYSELF. LIKE SHE IS SO DAMN PRETTY I DONT UNDERSTAND HAHA. Also how she is able to converse with everyone amazes me. Overall an amazing older sister for me  💖 I love ya Meagan~
And lastly my fellow youngling Seri. I just want to point this out now. If anyone dares to fight Seri, I’ll be there. This person right here is very precious. And I will fight to keep it at that. You can tell that I love her very much. She is near my age so it’s very comforting for me to have someone close to my age. Also her love for Soonyoung is the cutest thing. Whenever she and Meagan talk bout Soonyoung and being whipped for Soonyoung I just can't. So adorable. She is also very beautiful. He makeup skills are on point. Like please teach me, I'm a potato HAHAH. And can we just talk about how cute her name is? Seri is so goddamn adorable. Just like her.
Amazing that even though we live in different timezones, we will always find time for each other. I love these peeps very much. And I'm thankful for Seventeen for helping me find them.
Pretty long but oh well. This happens when you make the quietest person talk HAHA. But seriously, you guys mean everything to me at this point. Like I feel safe knowing that I have 3 angels watching over me. And I just want you guys to know that I also have your back. Hope our friendship will strengthen as years go by  💖 💖. And to our dear followers, please stay sweet. We’ll always love you. And Seventeen loves you guys too. Let’s make more memories together~
Admin Meagan: Tbh, when I applied to become an admin for this blog I really didn't think I would actually be picked. But look at me now AHAHAHA. I'm so so glad that I became an admin for this blog because it combines two things I love. Writing and seventeen.
I don't think you guys know how much I enjoy writing something and seeing how much people liked it as well. Especially when you guys send us direct compliments in our ask box. I don't think you guys know how much we coo in our admin group chat about the sweet stuff y'all send to us sometimes 💓
To the mutuals I've made from this blog, thank you so much for talking to me. I'm a pretty social person and I enjoy talking to anyone so thank you for that. And I enjoy the stuff y'all reblog as well AHAHAHAHA you guys are amazing and tenks for being a friend.
Honestly, Seventeen has undeniably made me happy. From listening to their songs when I'm mad to calm down to being an emotional wreck during Diamond Edge. I truly care about the boys and this blog made me love them even more. Also, I want to give a little shout out to my ethereal star, Kwon Soonyoung for literally brightening up my day all the time ✨
Thank you for being my ult bias and being extremely cute. You mean a lot to me for sure. Onto our beloved admins, firstly Jess. Y'all don't know how amazing she is. She's immensely smart and so caring. In these past few months of being friends, she's definitely a kind-hearted person and it really shows through. From listening to my past boy drama (like literally, I sent her voice messages and it was like 1-2am for her I'm,,,) to her giving advice to me. She's truly a gem and like an older sister <3 Also guys, she's really pretty!!! Even though she denies it :p and also a good singer!
Next is, Seri!!! Firstly, Seri is exceptionally funny, I swear the things she says sometimes in the group chat is hilarious. Also, she's sooooo good at makeup y'all and hella stunning as well. I always go to her for tips and we always share our makeup of the day with each other AHAHAHAHA. Seri is so kind and such an amazing support system and you can literally talk to her about anything AHAHAHAHAHA. I truly appreciate her being a friend <3 and the fact she stans hosh as well hehe
And to our maknae! Sophia but we always call her Soph. The best Jun stan I've met in my life. A creative little fellow and she also dances!! And also gives me tips for dance because I'm literally a stick AHAHAHAH She's so cute as well!! And such a caring bean <333 Also she likes attacking the rest of us with pictures of our biases 😂 Need a span of Joshua?? Soph is always ready lmao
Y'all mean a lot to me and I can't believe the amount of support I've gotten from all of you for a lot of things. From picking outfits to fangirling with me during my concert. I honestly don't mind opening up to y'all which I don't often do at all. I really like how you guys are always there and whenever one of us is down or have some tea to spill, everyone is on board AHAHAHAHA.
I seriously love all the admins so much because they are friends that I cherish quite a lot. I cannot wait for the day we all can meet somewhere and just hang out together and just have fun, heh 💓 We really need to start skyping with each other and pls one day come to Malaysia!!! I'm gonna bring you guys around for good food and photoshoots!! (I take really good pictures if I say so myself, if you wanna see them. Message me for my Instagram AHAHAHAHA)
Most importantly, thank you to literally everyone who've read our work and enjoyed it, to those who reblog and heart our stuff; thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ And to our readers I've personally talked to personally, y'all are really cool and tenks for talking to this nerd lmao. I can't wait to see this blog grow even more and to experience new things with seventeen and you guys. Love y'all 
Admin Seri: first THANK YOU, for making it this far >< 
Wow, well I’m speechless, honestly I’m not even sure what to say, so i apologize in advance how unorganized this ESSAY is about to be. 
First, i’ve always been curious on writing scenarios like this, and i definitely think I was good enough. So any thoughts of running a blog was like, jumping off a cliff, it was best to keep it out of mind. Me and Jess, met through an online groupchat that I seriously never thought would lead to this. Funny thing, I was on vacation,  when I joined, one-two weeks after Jess made the blog. With all of my curiosity of what it was like, I was kind of bored and wanted to give it a shot. Legit I expected like 500 followers after like, a year? NEVER did i think we’d have 2000 after 5 months. like WHAT. 
To Seventeen, the talented, amazing dorks, where my vocabulary is not big enough to describe them. aside from the fact I love, adore, and admire them very much, (if i stayed here and talked about  they are a team with a lovely team backing them up. CARATSSSSSS ;))) without Seventeen, there would be no blog, and with no blog, i wouldn’t have met the three other amazing admins, other tumblr mutuals, and our amazing readers ^~^ .  
First to Soph, I- just know she is adorable, that’s all, the cutest freaking Jun stan ever. she’s only a feel months younger than me but i feel like im a grandma with all the energy she has because she’s on a dance team and how tired I am all the time. i’m thankful i get to wake up to her spam of pictures also :’)  honestly rip to her storage, :’) let’s keep together lovely! US MAKNAES SHOULD STICK TOGETHER!!! ;) our own lil maknae line leggoooo ;) <3
Meagan my fellow hosh stan, oh my god she is actually my aesthetic, from bullet journaling SHE IS AMAZING, to makeup I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MAKEUP (someone who can actually deal with that because my obsession is bad hehe) she’s gorgeous and i feel blessed to find a friend like her, (not because of her connections in Malaysia or something COUGH) im jp ;) she’s just someone i can always ask an honest opinion from, and im thankful for that <3
Then Jess, I’m trying not to tear up right now and I honestly don’t ever cry unless I’m watching a TV show, honestly. she’s been here from me through and through and our friendship feels a lot longer than five months. I already know our friendship will last even when we one day will sadly have to end the blog :’), and i’m ready to meet because im planing this trip already like LETS GO LET KOREAN BBQ bc proud foodie right here, hell any of the admins. this is gonna sound so mushy oh god but i feel i’ve grown and learned so much from her and she never makes me feel stupid for asking a question. moving on, GUYS OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE ACTUALLY GREAT LIKE AFJFOLAENGV on of the more memorable ones is when she introduced me to that song, YES JESS YOU KNOW. and most importantly, thank you for being my mom and just being there for me , because im truely thankful for that <3
TO OUR FOLLOWERS, there’s 2000 of you guys WHAT, welcome to our craziness and thanks for sticking around! I’d love to get to know you guys so don’t be scared to message me @bloatedboo !! i’m not great with words but know every single one of you guys are in my heart whether i know your name or not. <3
Admin Jess: Brace yourselves, I have lots to say😂.
First off, if you had asked me if I had expected to hit 100 followers let alone the 2,000 followers we have now when I first started this, I would have laughed. It is a bit of a crazy number to wrap our heads around, but I’m insanely grateful and I might actually start crying. This whole thing started off as simply a hobby, something I could use to vent my love for the 13 boys that have my heart, but it became so much more after a while. It almost didn’t happen too, just like our beloved soulmate series, everything came down to being in the right place at the right time and having everything line up perfectly before the hard work and passion kicked in haha. I’ll state my thanks here so that I can get it out in words rather than tears. I won’t get too much into how when I started this blog with Seri, I was not in a very happy place. But that’s not the important part. The thing is I met incredible people through this blog and learned many things. I learned how to not let every criticism and mean comment get to me, and rather to learn to grow and try to do the best I can. Nothing brightens my day more than hearing I made people smile, there’s nothing else I’d rather do with my time:) ahem now for my thanks (and yes I’m going to thank Seventeen bc I’m hella extra)
Seventeen have made me v v happy and continue to do so to this day. While I may declare my love and hatred (jokingly) and say I’m unstanning, I really love all 13 boys with all my heart. All the admin have talked about it, but when we’re writing for them or answering asks, they don’t seem like just idols to us. They’re friends who love each other, real genuine people who are beautiful inside and out. I’d like to thank them for just being them, for bringing a smile to my face whenever I feel down. Honestly so sappy and cringe but true nevertheless. I love Svt a whole lot <3
Joshua, EXCUSE ME AS I GET HELLA EMOTIONAL I CAN’T JUST WRITE TWO SENTENCES ABOUT THIS GUY;&:9;$2. So I’ll try to keep it short. Joshua, I am the most grateful to him for his undying love for his friends, for his hard work at always being the best person possible, and for genuinely making me smile. He’s the kind of person I want to be, someone who is kind-hearted and tries his very best at everything he does and ilhssm.
I can feel myself tearing up woohee this is going great. I’d like to thank the many internet friends and mutuals I met, through this blog. Initially I had simply wanted people to fangirl with svt about and I got so so much more. There is a moment I remember distinctly 2 weeks ago, I had been really stressed about my slew of tests and I had maybe gotten 20 hours of sleep in the entire week and had told my friends in real life but also my internet friends (you know who you are and ily) and I was bombarded with messages of support from everyone in the morning and I dead af kid you not sat and cried because how did I deserve such amazing support and friends. People who had never seen me before were genuinely concerned about my health and mentality and nothing nothing made me cry more than just the sheer amount of support I got. I had mentioned in our admin chat how I regretted not doing enough due to exams and my bb’s legit were screaming at me to sleep and that it’s ok and everything will be ok if I didn’t answer everything right away and just focused on me and it’s prob one of the moments in my life that I felt the most support and love ever. and so that takes me to my few final thanks….
Soph, okie hands down my favorite Jun stan I’m sorry everyone, I love Soph lots omfg. She’s so talented!!! I’m living for the day where she kills me with her dancing just as Junhui does to all of us, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to learn svt and bts choreo and run this blog lmao. Soph, I love how you hype Josh with me and how we all suffer together when we send svt pictures and honestly thank you thank you thank you so so much for being not only an admin but a valuable friend.
Meagan, I can always count on her to send me pictures of Joshua on Instagram and I love her lots too. I love how despite living 16 hours apart, we can still have conversations about boy drama (no not svt lmao svt wouldn’t do us dirty like boys irl) and fangirl about Josh and svt and just everything. She’s incredibly talented too, her writing and she’s so pretty I die. Meagan, I love how I can say something and count on you to talk about it, it’s beautiful and fun, thank you so so much admin and friend.
And finally, I’d like to thank Seri. Seri has been with me on this rollercoaster of a ride since the very beginning. I found it incredible how the two of us just *clicked* ya know? She’s the type of friend who says one thing and two hours later, she and I are both dying from laughter on the ground in stitches. I’ve never genuinely laughed more than some convos I’ve had with her. I’m also surprised she has yet to hear me screaming at her from across the country, I’m pretty sure I’m loud enough that she could hear me. She’ll prob forever be my aegi whether she likes it or not and while I honestly don’t know how much longer I’ll stan svt, I do hope that our friendship can far outlast our time together here on the blog (plus I swear imma buy her plane tickets somehow so we can go to an svt concert together or disneyland before I die). I’ve ranted to her lots and I complain to her lots but she never tells me I’m annoying and for that, I’m also thankful XD. I think I have learned quite a lot from her, including how to have thicker skin and I love her so so so much. Seri, thank you for everything lovely, let’s continue growing as friends and people together ^~^
Final remarks, I think what has always drawn me to svt is just the sheer comradery and love they have for each other. It’s undeniable they’re family to one another. I had always been somewhat jealous of their adorable friendships and funny chemistry. But as I look back on it now, I found my own sort of svt, in the people, friends, and stories I interact with everyday here, and for that I can only say thank you.
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All My Friends Are Heathens; Part 9
{ Part 8 }
{ Master List }
Summary: Octavia attempts to get the gang to start their own society in the woods in order to ditch school, Lincoln spills the beans about Bellamy having a date, cars are stolen, Clarke’s failing at being the Mom-friend... the usual delinquent nonsense ;)
*Delinquent group chat*
TheSuperiorBlake: who wants to abandon all adult responsibilities and create a Amazonian-like society in the woods with me??
i-make-it-go-boom: is this a Wonder Woman scenario where no men are invited BECAUSE SIGN ME TF UP
Murphy is getting on my last nerve
Jaaaaaasssssppper: Wonder Woman was a spiritual experience, I’ll dress in drag and do the hula if you let me in
Guns&Roses: Make him do the truffle shuffle
TrashPrince: U FALL ASLEEP THROUGH ONE SKYPE CALL AND SUDDENLY UR RELATIONSHIP IS ON THE ROCKS
Trikru: OCTAVIA MY LOVE MY LIFE YOU WOULD LEAVE ME??? WHAT HAPPENED TO FOREVER? OUR HAPPY ENDING?? :’( :’(
MillertheKiller: Lincoln, babe, don’t cry
I’ll be ur boo
TheSuperiorBlake: paws off Miller!!!
NurseGriffin: I’m listening
Greenbean: BELL UR GIRL IS TRYING TO LEAVE U OCTAVIA IS BREAKING UP OUR FAMILY
TheSuperiorBlake: everyone is invited you meatheads I just don’t want to study
Jaaaaaasssssppper: Cool cool
is booze involved then?
HeadbandWonder: ah come on! I don’t want to share a tent with anyone that smells like a gym locker :’(
NurseClarke: Guess we’re all sharing a tent with Bellamy ‘cause the rest of u guys smell like old socks
Bellamy smells like a forest after a light rain <3
TheSuperiorBlake: that’s oddly specific
MillertheKiller: Speaking of the freckled wonder... r shirts optional? Bellamy has abs that need to be appreciated
Trikru: that’s Clarke’s job
Iliad: Listen you toadstools I’m in the middle of a meeting 
If you’re going to compliment my physique at least wait until I’m available to appreciate the praise 
 Jaaaaaasssssppper: I vote to kick Bellamy out of our Amazon club he uses too many big words 
 TrashPrince: Seconded 
 Trikru: He can’t join anyway 
He’s too busy with his new beau ;)
 Greenbean: DAD HOW COULD U CHEAT ON MOM LIKE THIS???
Guns&Roses: WAIT IT’S NOT CLARKE?????????????
MOM SAY IT ISN’T SO????????????
 Jaaaaassssppper: UR TEARING THIS FAMILY A PART U MONSTER
 TrashPrince: I’M THE GARBAGE CAN OF THIS FAMILY YOU CAN’T JUST WALTZ IN AND TAKE MY PLACE LIKE THIS!!! 
 TheSuperiorBlake: IF IT’S THAT TRICK ASS BITCH ECHO AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE THAT PIECE OF SHIT DISAPPEAR
 Iliad: 
In
 A 
Meeting!!!!!!!!!
 i-make-it-go-boom: Mom did u know about this??? 
 Greenbean: r u sad? 
Jasper and I will make u brownies 
And give u hugs 
Jaaaaaasssssppper: we’ll wrap u in blankets and take care of u mom UNLIKE SMELLAMY YOU SHITBRICK 
NurseGriffin: guys I’m fine 
TrashPrince: LIES 
TheSuperiorBlake: u guys leave her alone 
She’s in the first step of recovery: Denial 
NurseGriffin: I’m not in denial you meatheads 
MillertheKiller: only someone in denial would say that 
TrashPrince: As someone who has gone to therapy several times, I can say with all authority that mommy dearest is indeed in denial 
i-make-it-go-boom: as a certified mechanic, I’m obligated to fix this AND FIX IT I SHALL 
BELLAMY BRADBURY BLAKE GET UR EFFECTS IN ORDER BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO BITCH SLAP UR SORRY ASS INTO NEXT YEAR!! 
TrashPrince: GRAB UR PITCHFORKS MEN 
MillertheKiller: I’LL LIGHT THE TORCHES 
Jaaaaaassssppper: LET’S KILL THE BEAST! 
Greenbean: wut? 
Jaaaaassssppper: I thought we were quoting that beauty and the beast song 
i-make-it-go-boom: I GET TO BE THE ONE WHO BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR WITH A BATTERING RAM!! 
TheSuperiorBlake: this convo really got away from me 
TrashPrince: #knockbellamyintonextyear2k17 
Guns&Roses: FOR NARNIA  AND CLARKE’S HONOR
HeadbandWonder: let’s hit him where it hurts!! 
TrashPrince: I’m suggesting a mob and all u want to do is kick him in the junk?? UR uninvited from our mob Harper 
HeadbandWonder: I MEANT THE LIBRARY THE TRUE LOVE OF HIS LIFE U DONUTHOLE 
TrashPrince: fine ur re-invited BUT UR ON THIN ICE 
*Operation Fake Out*
NurseGriffin: listen i know you’re in a meeting and everything, but we should probs tell them we’re “dating” before they kill you
Iliad: Oh I’m not actually in a meeting
I went to get us coffee, I was gonna stop by your house and surprise you, but I didn’t realize until I got there that I left my wallet back at the library. -_-
I just said I was in a meeting so I didn’t have to respond to their idiocy
NurseGriffin: awwwwwwww!! <3 who’s the best fake bf ever?
Iliad: Chris Evans probably
Any of the Chris’s really
But I’ll happily take second place ;)
Anyway... once I get my wallet I’ll bring you coffee and we can talk about when we’re going to let them “catch” us on a date.
 NurseGriffin: Just make it fast, Murphy’s trying to start a mob
Iliad: Copy that, Princess
*Delinquents*
Trikru: u know what would be more fun than a mob?? Inviting Bellamy and his gf to dinner so we can get to know them 
i-make-it-go-boom: pass 
MillertheKiller: hard pass 
besides I already broke the driver’s side window on bellamy’s rover 
NurseGriffin: U WHAT????? 
TrashPrince: WE MUST DEFEND CLARKE’S HONOR
MillertheKiller: Can’t talk I’ve stolen the rover Bellamy can’t escape
GET HIM BOYS AND BADASS LADIES WHO GENUINELY TERRIFY ME 
TheSuperiorBlake: Miller is the leader our amazon society doesn’t deserve but desperately needs 
TrashPrince: NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES 
 NurseGriffin: pls tell me this isn’t real 
i-make-it-go-boom: come pick me up!! I’ll repaint it and change the plates so the cops can’t find it 
Jaaaaaaasssssppper: Monty and I will wipe away all fingerprints 
 But within a month will have to ditch the car at the Mexican border, change our names, and start brand new lives in Canada from here on out you will call me Reginald!! 
Guns&Roses: I want to be Harper 
TheSuperiorBlake: I call dibs on being Murphy I’ve always wanted to be a sarcastic asshole with no concern for anyone’s feelings 
 TrashPrince: u r a sarcastic asshole with no concern for anyone’s feelings 
TheSuperiorBlake: feeling real attacked right now 
 Trikru: square up Murphy 
NurseGriffin: listen here children of Satan  
Jaaaaaaaassssppper: rude 
 TrashPrince: fair 
 NurseGriffin: Being Bellamy's car back and leave money for the broken window in the glove box OR SO HELP ME I WILL CALL ALL OF YOUR MOTHERS 
 TheSuperiorBlake: jokes on u I don't have a mother 
Guns&Roses: this just got real sad real quick 
NurseGriffin: don't bullshit me Octavia Blake 
We all know Indra is ur step-mother 
 TheSuperiorBlake: INDRA IS MY BADASS FAIRY GODMOTHER WHO TURNED ME INTO A KICKASS WARRIOR PRINCESS WHO DOMINATES THE SOCCER FIELD UNDEFEATED U COW I WONT STAND HERE AND WATCH HER BE DISRESPECTED LIKE THIS 
NurseGriffin: GIVE BELLAMY BACK HIS CAR 
MillertheKiller: NOT UNTIL U ADMIT U LOVE HIM 
Greenbean: speaking of the freckled wonder...
 He's taking this rather well 
 TrashPrince: Doubtful 
He probably had a heart attack in the middle of his meeting He's probably being resuscitated as we speak
*Operation Fake Out*
NurseGriffin: Bellamy, the platonic love of my life
U beautiful cinnamon roll
my pseudo lover
Iliad: Is this about my rover?
NurseGriffin: Oh so u are still getting the group messages?
Iliad: Getting them? I crawled into the back of my car to grab a book I needed to return while I was back at the library and APPARENTLY MILLER DIDN’T SEE ME AND HAS STOLEN MY CAR WITH ME IN IT!!
NurseGriffin: OMG
FOR REAL??
Iliad: No I just like being a drama queen
OF COURSE I’M FOR RHDKWNFIJINWIFJUP
sorry, I hit my head on the seat when miller hit a speed bump
NurseGriffin: I’m calling Kane
Iliad: Please don’t. I don’t want to have to explain why Miller’s blood is all over my car.
NurseGriffin: Bellamy I love you, but I’m not waiting for you to get out of prison if you murder Nathan.
Iliad: After all we’ve been through??
I’m hurt Clarke
NurseGriffin: Our fake relationship is not built to survive prison
Iliad: You’re supposed to be my ride of die!
NurseGriffin: ur about to die riding in your stolen car without a seat belt
*IceIceBaby direct messaged Iliad*
IceIceBaby: why is ur car speeding through the school parking lot like it’s a Fast & Furious moment?
AND WHY WASN’T I INVITED TO RUN FROM CAMPUS SECURITY IN THIS EPIC MOMENT DUDE!!
Iliad: because i’m not driving my car
IceIceBaby: damn dude
ur missing out then
I’ll put the video on facebook for u
Iliad: my hero -_-
*Operation Fake Out*
Iliad: Clarke listen
Miller is driving my car so fast I can hear pieces falling off
Campus security has been chasing us for eight blocks
The entire Arkadia police force is probably gonna be here any second with a helicopter and I will inevitably be shot out the windshield like a rocket in the next few minutes
So in case I go out like a human bullet, there’s something I gotta tell you
NurseGriffin: Is this about the time u cheated off me in math?
Iliad: That never happened
And if it did, I wouldn’t waste my final breath on it
I’ll pay for that *hypothetical* sin in the afterlife
Iliad: I really didn’t want to tell you like this
I had it all planned you know
We were gonna go to the botanical garden and I was going to sit you down in a secluded little spot and tell you... which sounds kind of cliche now that I’m saying it.
I don’t know, I guess I always pictured it surrounded by flowers so I could tell you they didn’t compare to you
NurseGriffin: what’s happening right now?
Are you proposing to me?
Iliad: Clarke I’m in love with you
For real
I kinda, sorta, suggested the fake date thing so you’d see I could be a good boyfriend and maybe, you know, wanna date for real.
NurseGriffin: u tried to trick me into dating u??
Iliad: Not mfhrnedifnrkfkj
NurseGriffin: O MY GOD BELLAMY ARE YOU OKAY????
BELLAMY??
*Delinquents*
MillertheKiller: ABORT MISSION
ABORT MISSION
OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO DIE
SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!!
TheSuperiorBlake: what’s happening?
Iliad: MILLER DROVE MY FREAKING CAR INTO A POLE TO AVOID CAMPUS SECURITY
WHILE I WAS IN THE BACKSEAT
HE’S NOW RUNNING DOWN THE BLOCK SCREAMING
HE HAS 5 SECONDS BEFORE I TEAR HIM LIMB FROM LIMB
maybe  a little longer, I hit my head really hard and then threw up climbing out the back window
NurseGriffin: why aren’t u answering my texts u jackass???!!!
i thought u were dead!!!
u can’t just tell me u love me and then not respond to my texts!!!
Greenbean: BELLAMY TOLD U HE LOVES U????
Guns&Roses: wait, but aren’t u dating someone new???
Trikru: i was trying to tell u that he was going out with clarke but NO ONE WAS LISTENING!!
TheSuperiorBlake: YOU KNEW AND DIDN’T TELL ME???
Trikru: i mean he never actually admitted anything but i had my suspicions
TheSuperiorBlake: all the guys minus jasper and monty are uninvited from the Amazon society
Lincoln especially
TrashPrince: WHAT DID I DO??
TheSuperiorBlake: i don’t know
and i don’t care
NurseGriffin: guy!!! not now!
Bellamy are u ok?
Iliad: i can smell colors
everything tastes like blood
NurseGriffin: where are u? I’m coming to get u
Iliad: don’t know
everything is spinning
MillertheKiller: two miles outside of Arkadia
can u get me too?
NurseGriffin: walk u cretin!!
u almost killed Bellamy
this is ur punishment
NurseGriffin: Bellamy stay where u are! I’m coming to get u!
Iliad: oh is it time for our coffee date already?
NurseGriffin: no ur going to the hospital
Iliad: not as fun but probably for the best
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briirens · 7 years
Text
the noragami writers’ chat according to the creator
Okay, so you have probably seen other accounts summarize our lovely chat before. And if you’re curious to know who started the whole thing, it was me! And in the six months the chat has been up, I have seen so many personalities come together. Now, I will summarize each member how I see them everyday.
@kurisuumakise - Has a cookie jar we are not allowed to touch, writes angst that kills us all, is the English major student you go to for tutorial, says she’s the saving voice of the chat but really edges us on, will make a power point out of you, has the longest iTunes and manga list I have ever seen in my entire life, cannot call her unnie, and has four hour long art streams.
@yatorihell - (Fake Brit) Drunk aunt, also a grandma, loves Game of Thrones, models her fics after said show, eyebrows be on fleek, has a liver made of steel, will drop a class is she learns only the basics, writes angst when fluff is demanded, is the only person who would kill over ten people in a fic, have to spray with water daily, makes dark deals with pip, and will call you babe or nerd.
@paperypiper - (Munchkin, Smol, Pip, Pippo, Pipper, Pippin) Smol human being, loves cats, has a wicked art talent, can connect with you over any musical or book, or show, gets hella sassy, has actually dragged my ass more than once, is the one who looks into the camera, or screams no, makes. all. her. snaps. three. seconds. long, will stay up till five am but yell at you if you do as well, and has the cutest voice ever.
@eerna - VERY PRETTY AND CUTE, gets excited over smol and meaningful things, is cute when excited, DRAWS SO HELLA WELL LIKE GIVE ME YOUR TALENT, is the savior of the chat, the responsible sister who gives you health facts when you’re about to do wrong, writes really well too, is so created like pls, lives in a place we like to assume is not real, and is open to share new ideas.
@skyheaven1231 - Rose trauma, still can’t believe I have to put a trigger warning on that, literally will disappear for weeks but somehow summon the second her art and name are mentioned, has this v soothing accent, DREW A COVER FOR MY FIC AND THANK YOU, you could honestly tell her any idea you have and she will love it, is the older sister you can go to for anything, and is the sweetest person I know when not writing angst.
@skadventuretime - Hey mom, is legit the mom of the group, she is not in often, so we’re actually partying in her absence, but when she appears the whole chat acts like angels, has written character death before, we act like angels but she writes angst frequently, is the inspiration to us all, if she saw what we all did for a living... we would be grounded, and she’s a hard working grad school student.
@hiyoris-scarf - Writing senpai, likes to pretend that fanny packs are not fanny packs, has a habit of pulling apples outta nowhere, is high on alcohol life, sends videos of her cat, IS SO FUCKING PRETTY GOSH, went to Europe and came back a different person, is the definition of tumblr aesthetic, is extremely bad at lying over message, has had experiences in airplanes and writes smut for a living.
@moonemi - LITTLE SISTER, is honestly so BEAUTIFUL, the cutest person ever, is the definition of relationship goals, has a lotta knowledge in Korean dramas and music, has a v cute drawing style, cares so much about others, has the cutest British accent ever, how many times can I say cute in a sentence, cusses when v serious, is very aesthetic wth teach me, and is the first person I will visit outta the country.
@shadownightes - SASSY DAUGHTER, is the kindest person ever, drew a picture of my OC and I wanna lay down, will text during class, is there when you need her to be, honestly also lives in a place that is not real, draws the good stuff, is the biggest OC fan I have ever met in my entire life, is so precious, takes care of her mama, and knows what goods to send.
@dr-gothtastic - (Inku) Angst Queen, your local Kazubisha nerd, makes the best edits ever, can catch her playing video games for hours, will one day come to NYC with me, FELLOW KPOP FAN LIKE HELLO, tells the best stories in the whole universe, the person who has a nerd party that is fucking wild, has a beautiful laugh, literally is the cousin who knows how to party in the best ways, and will always give advice,
@bishoujohiyo - Your friendly neighborhood nurse, looks like an actress, wil fucking diagnose you if you mention you have cold, tells you all the things you should be eating... but you don’t have them, has the best typos in the world, will come up with the most unique insults, is the concerned mother for all of us youngions, knows how to calm someone down, and I would be hella sick without her. 
@wolfisyatotrash - RP buddy, took two months just to join the damn chat, is the voice of reason for most of our actions, awoo, is up at 12 am when she has school the next morning, is literally the most indecisive person in the chat, screams with me over random aus, literally is the manga page finder, finds everything before everyone else, says she can’t draw but can, and we just celebrated our one year anniversary for being friends.
@themusicalbookworm - (Geo, National Giographic) BEST SINGER EVER, is honestly the nicest person in the world, will meet up with me soon, writes the best and most angsty songs, can talk to you on just about anything, will write a song just for kicks in an au, gets my Florida problems, is also the mom of the group, comes up with the best ideas ever, and is like E V E R Y T H I N G.
@omnismith - Local kazubisha fan, swoons at many things, fact checks everything, looks up the meanings of Adachitoka detail, comes up the best headcanons and imagines for Noragami, also says some painful things about kazubisha, slowly became corrupted by the chat, judges the chat when she’s on, and is honestly the nicest person ever. 
@godinatracksuit - WIFEY, likes to go on walks, takes pictures of her dogs and nature, is very outdoors-y aesthetic, will literally send me a box of potatoes one day, judges the beaches in Florida, HAS THE BEST AND CUTEST AU EVER, can also sing like multi-talented, has to make us all coffee one day, first started out in the kazubisha chat and the moved over, and we have corrupted her.
@carrotcouple - My go to sleep alarm clock, is up when I go to bed, has to go through 1000 messages each morning, also looks up details about Noragami, is also a big KPOP fan, writes a fic that was translated into Chinese, likes to kinkshame me on the daily, kinkshames everyone on the daily tbh, inspired a new fic series of mine, and is a part of the Kdrama group.
@yes-campaign - WROTE ME THIS LONG ESSAY ON WHY I MATTERED AND HONESTLY SHE DESERVES A FUCKING GOLD STAR TYVM, sassy daughter, literally sasses everyone, you will probably think she is from England, can probably give you a detailed report on how to do something the simple way, is the youngest one in the group, and she acts nineteen.
@sunflower-yukine - My son, he was so innocent, now he is nothing except bees and shrek, sends me daily snaps and I am v thankful, is the only boy in the chat, likes to torture us all with memes, is the best friend nobody can control, knows how to get under everyone’s skin with memes, teams up with the meme team to attack us, and is honestly the funniest person to be around.
@rest-in-bees - Talks to me on the daily, has literally been taken over by memes, made a shrek cake, is the voice of reason when I am down in the dumps, loves listening about aus, I get to see her very soon, is so funny that it hurts, has a lot of childhood shows that she needs to watch, IS THE VOICE BEHIND THE RELATIONSHIP OF MY OC, and helps me out with Tinder.
@kiun & @blessedburial - NEWBIES, i have yet to really experience their full extent, caring children, also tell me to go to sleep or lay down, slowly are becoming corrupted from the chat, salty savages and I love them so much, still adjusting to Cat writing angst, and me killing characters, newest additions, and they fit in perfectly!
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artificialqueens · 7 years
Text
Art and Anatomy 3 (fem!Trixie x trans!Katya) - Pink Shrooms
Tumblr media
It’s a new year, but old drama from first semester isn’t as dead as Katya would have hoped. Trixie decides to become a Youtuber. Katya decides to become a full time art hoe. Neither of them are prepared for what comes next.
OR: Shame is temporary, but the internet is forever.
ART GALLERY OPENING
“You know, I like the way that the flower just kinda opens and how soft the petals look. You have a real eye for this kinda thing, Katya. A real eye.”
“Mom.”
“Yeah, sweetie?”
“That’s a vagina.”
“Oh, well” Pat says, Boston accent growing thicker as she struggles to find the words. “Uh, it looks lovely, sweetie! But where did you find a model?”
Trixie chooses that moment to stroll in: “Hello, Mrs. Zamolodchikova! Enjoying the art?”
“Mom, hey, so- Trixie’s my girlfriend,” Katya word vomits as she tugs on her black dress. “Cool. Who wants to see a jar covered in my toe nail clippings?”
Pat chokes on her drink.
Katya tries to fill in the awkwardness with: “They’re all different polish colors depending on the season.”
“Katya! You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend! I- I thought you were gay! Oh- wait…”
“Mom!” Katya exclaims and flushes. “I’m bisexual,”
“I know that! Just testing you,” Pat says and then wrangles both of them into a bone-crushing hug. Katya would sigh in relief (if she could breathe).
When Pat lets go, Katya looks at Trixie’s face for any signs of anger, but the blonde is happily showing her mother the ‘Barbie-doll-head-necklace’ that Katya had made her for the occasion. They had strolled through Target for an hour trying to find the perfect Barbie to decapitate.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell her sooner,” Katya pulls Trixie aside as her mother is grabbed by a stray Alyssa Edwards. Their club leader and mentor will talk off poor Pat’s ear for the next ten minutes until the gallery officially opens, so Katya is free to rest her arms around her girlfriend’s shoulders.
“Don’t worry about it,” Trixie reassures her with a soft kiss on the nose. “I figured she didn’t know as soon as she got here.”
“How?”
“Uh, aside from the fact she asked you if there were any cute boys at ‘your nudist club?’ You also get really nervous and fidgety and do that skirt-tug thing.”
Katya puffs up her cheeks: “I will not have my name or skirt be slandered with these lies.”
Trixie laughs and pulls out her phone to record the moment. Lately, she has that phone glued to her hand to film ‘footage for her vlog.’ Katya doesn’t know the first goddamned thing about Youtube (other than the endless Bob Ross videos you could find), but she enjoys when Trixie records her. It feels safe considering Trixie only has fifty followers and most are people from Facebook.
“Katya. Will you give us a quick tour of your art gallery before it opens?”
She does a dramatic spin, leans close to the camera, and whispers, “You wanna see all the naked women I’ve trapped inside squares? It’s whateva.”
“Why are you doing a thick Boston accent, Katya?”
“Who’s Katya? I’m Trish, and I snuck into this white room to hide flower-vaginas. Lemme tell you something about vaginas and being a real woman. Optional.”
The camera shakes as Trixie buckles over with laughter.
Katya cartwheels over to her favorite piece- a human sized canvas of Trixie’s lips made out of bottle caps. She slowly caresses her hand down it (“Remember kids. Don’t touch used art in galleries or used condoms in the streets. Unless they contain your bodily fluids.”)
Trixie follows her while she recounts the origins of all her art babies in perfectly inaccurate detail. She ends the video with a slow split as Pat enthusiastically claps in the background.
Then the doors open. Katya needs another drink.
Pearl and Violet come first, hand in hand, wearing matching FEMINIST graphic tees. They look so aesthetic that Katya aks them to pose under the flower-vagina and snaps a shot of them kissing for Instagram. Talk about photogenic couples.
Sharon strolls in, without Laila or Lala, and spends an uncomfortable amount of time looking at the toe nail jar. Katya remembers that Sharon made a portrait completely out of her own period blood. Sharon’s weird.
Observers slowly trickle in, and then all at once the room is flooded. Phi Phi is sitting on a bench with Willam, whispering. Huh, are they together now? Courtney is admiring a statue made of miniature hands. The nail jar and flower-vag are drawing most of the crowds.
Katya vaguely feels like a proud mother as Trixie zooms the camera around.
“Look at ‘chu, gurl,” Mrs. Edwards says as she squeezes Katya’s shoulder. “You were just an itty-bitty-no-titty, shy thang freshman year and now you’re all grown with an art gallery. I invited Ms.Betty to come too!”
Katya wordlessly hugs her. She tries to choke out ‘thank you’ but then tears up. There’s no way that she would have gotten all these pictures up or even finished without Mrs. Edwards’ help. Katya would have broken down and gone into hibernation. She hopes a hug could say all that.
Ms. Betty scowls at everything and then gives Katya a firm nod. Wow, she loves it!
Katya taps the microphone: “Hello? Is this thing- Okay, thank you. I just wanted to thank you all for coming. I know this means a lot to my classmates and myself. Thank you to Mrs. Edwards for her tireless support.”
Trixie is still holding her camera and she mouths ‘love you baby.’ Pat gives her a thumbs up.
“And I had a rough start to the semester, but, in the infamous words of Thomas the Train- ‘I think, therefor I can.’”
Katya hands the microphone off to the next speaker then makes her way back to where Pat and Trixie are standing.
Katya freezes. She smells the artificial perfume before she sees her. Blonde hair. Bored eyes. Alaska does a little finger wiggle ‘hello’ as she stands at the back of the gallery near the fragile glass sculptures of Soviet cities.
Katya waves back nervously and then goes to see some of her other classmates’ artwork until the evening ends.
Pearl and Violet are the first to come and they’re the last to leave. Everyone’s congratulating Katya on her work, but Katya can only give them a weak smile. Alaska, if she was even here or if she was just a hallucination, is long gone. What did she come for?
“Did you see her?” Katya vaguely makes a gesture to her glass towers. Suddenly she gets anxious and feels sort of faint just thinking about the memory.
“Katya! Katya, you’ve gone white like you saw a ghost. Sh, baby, sit down on the bench and take a deep breathe. That’s it. Just take five deep breathes, and we can try again.”
“But did you see…?”
“See what?”
She only shakes her head and buries it into Trixie’s shoulder. Ever since what happened at the Slumber Party from Hell, Katya has had these anxious attacks. Luckily, Trixie’s always there to hold her and kiss her. Katya feels guilty using her like a safety blanket.
“What happened, sweetie?” Pat sits down next to them and presses a kiss to Katya’s forehead. This should be a happy day. Why is this happening to her now?
“Nothing,” she lies.
Shit, Katya used to tell her mother everything, but, lately, it feels like there’s so many gaps in her stories. Dark holes that grow larger and larger, threatening to suck her under. Moments where she catches herself from saying what she means.
Violet comes and offers to take them out for food, and Pearl guiltily squirms behind her.
Katya just shakes her head and buries it deeper in Trixie’s neck. She plays with the necklace, rubbing the soft fuzz on Barbie’s head. She vaguely wishes she could just dismember her own stupid head and live without the constant reminder of the past. The past is a bitch.
“I’m sorry guys. Maybe another time? I just need a moment to breathe. Or cocaine. Either one will do.”
Violet laughs and promises to bring her back some chocolate covered pretzels from the student store. Pearl opens her mouth like she wants to say something but then leaves without a word.
Pat has to leave to get back to Boston for work, so she just kisses Katya’s forehead and begs her to skype more.
“I will. Sorry, mom. I know you came out all this way- and I should have told you Trixie was my girlfriend months ago and then I have these moments…”
“Sweetie, it’s fine! We all got rough spots. Some uglier than others. If you can’t change it or buy a cream to soothe it, don’t pick at it.”
“Sound advice. Oh, and I also noticed blood in my pee. Do you think I’m finally getting my period?”
Her mother blankly stares at her, and they both burst into laughter. Katya rolls her eyes to show that she’s just joking.
“I’m glad you got that Trixie girl to look out for you,” her mother says abruptly, and Katya’s caught off guard. A lot of times she does things and doesn’t tell her, but -to have her mother’s approval?- it makes her blush. She dosen’t know what to say so she just changes the conversation to Alyssa Edwards as they walk towards her mother’s car.
Her mother leaves her with a jar of her homemade ‘chowdah’ (“You look like you’d weigh less than a wet kitten!”) and kisses her on the head. When she leaves, Katya is standing in front of her dorm.
Instead of going inside, she wanders the parking lot, even though it is a quarter to ten and she has class tomorrow. Katya snuggles into her jacket, hugs the jar to her chest, and sneezes. A snowflake lands on her nose.
She tries to make sense of everything that happened today. Vag-flowers? Barbie doll heads? A camera? Alyssa Edward’s hug? Betty’s firm nod? Blonde hair and sickly-sweet perfume?
It all comes at once, and Katya can’t sort through the fragments to form a coherent image. It just seems like an overload of information, and she feels lost and cold. She sneezes again into her coat sleeve.
Where have u gone? -T
Casually dissociating with a big jar of clam chowdah -K
And snow -K
Come back to planet earth pls -T
I made you a cup of hot cocoa and Vi dropped off some pretzels <3 -T
Katya???? -T
She stares at the texts, smiles, and wipes the corners of her eyes. The jar is warm against her cold fingers. Katya’s not alone.
Sry. Be there in a few <3 -K
“Where were you?” Trixie asks as she opens up the door and brushes the snow from her hair.
Katya just kisses her and warms up in bed with Trixie’s arms wrapped up tight around her waist.
She tosses and turns with nightmares of her headless ghost, searching desperately for her missing piece. It calls out to her, but she can’t quite reach it. Katya tries to answer the call, but her ghost has no tongue.
—–
VALENTINE’S DAY
Katya continues to have moments of dissociation and darkness. She starts to stay up later and later in the studio, falling asleep with paint still on her fingertips.
Sometimes she wakes up with a dream so fresh and real that she rips off a sketchbook page and starts to scribble down the image of her floating body and the blur of her missing head. But it never looks the same. Never looks right.
It sounds too silly to put into words, even for Katya. When Trixie asks her why she has bags under her eyes, she just yawns and says that it’s another late night at the studio.
Trixie throws herself into recording and editing. Katya’s noticed her followers slowly starting rise by the hundreds and now the thousands.
She wakes Trixie up on Valentine’s day with kisses, showers her with Hershey Kisses, and a ‘Congrats on 10K’ cupcake she frosted herself.
“What did I do to deserve you?” Trixie purrs as she tackles Katya to the bed and sits on top of her, completely naked. The sunlight highlights her breasts and the cupids bow of her lips as she leans down to kiss Katya.
Katya stiffens with the weight of that curvaceous ass pressed against her. Trixie leans back and slowly licks the cream off of the cupcake.
Katya squirms, flushed, as Trixie’s thick thighs tighten around her.
“No,” she exhales slowly. “What did I do in a past life to deserve you?”
“Must have been a saint,” Trixie teases rubbing off the last of the cream onto Katya’s chest. The sugary white goodness drips down her pink nipples.
“Or a sinner,” Katya gasps as Trixie’s mouth wraps around the pink nubs. She’s in her pajama pants, but her cock strains against the seams.
Trixie places the cake into Katya’s mouth, like a gag, and continues downwards with kisses. Her lashes flutter against Katya’s overheated skin, tickling her, and Katya squirms as Trixie’s breathe warms her clothed cock.
The cake is melting against her tongue as Trixie pulls down Katya’s pajama pants. Her cock is leaking against her thigh.
The softness of Trixie’s lips is sinful. She meets Katya’s eyes as she slowly take the tip into her mouth, sucking it. Then she goes down, cheeks hollowing.
Katya’s toes curl with effort as she tries to stop herself from cumming. Trixie’s wet tongue is swirling around Katya’s cock as she bobs her head faster.
“A-ah,” Katya moans as the cake falls from her parted lips. “T-trixie.”
Trixie lets her go with a ‘popping’ sound, a second before she can cum, and a strand of saliva connects her pink lips to the tip. Katya shivers.
The blonde is smirking as she climbs up Katya and presses the length of her against her neatly trimmed pussy. Katya can feel the wetness and the heat from the outside. She bites her lip and squeezes her eyes shut as Trixie pushes down.
“Shh, baby,” Trixie says sweetly. “Can you hold that for a minute?”
Katya’s only response is a helpless whimper, hands fisted into the covers. Trixie rides her hard, heavy breasts bouncing, as she takes her pleasure.
So warm…oh god, the pressure…too much…
“Just one more second-” Trixie demands, but Katya is cumming with a strangled moan. It feels like she’s not even control of her own body anymore. Can’t even stop herself.
“Sorry,” she squeaks. “It was just so tight and, uh, what can I do to make up for it?”
She can tell by the line of Trixie’s lips that she’s annoyed as she still hasn’t orgasmed.
“Lay back,” Trixie orders. “Since you can’t keep it up, you might as well stay down.”
Katya does as she’s told, and the tense muscle in Trixie’s neck makes her spent cock twitch again. She hates how much she loves to be obedient. Why is she like this?
Then Trixie straddles Katya’s face, thick thighs squeezing down once more, and fucks her mouth. Katya can barely keep up with her pace, content to just let Trixie use her for her pleasure.
Soon, Trixie arches her back and cums with a muffled groan. Trixie’s so heavy against her face and nose that Katya can barely gasp for breathe. The feeling of helplessness has her hardening as Trixie rides out her orgasm. Black spots blocking her vision.
Katya gasps for breath: “Oh my fucking god.”
“Too much?”
“Again,” she says with a grin.
They spend all morning just rolling around in bed like that. It feels better than their first.
Katya doesn’t want to put on clothes, but Trixie tosses Katya her shirt.
Trixie sets up the camera, and they sit on the edge of the bed, naked waist down. There’s something erotic about filming a video like that. Oddly intimate.
“Hello! To all my new fans!”
Katya raises her eyebrow as she hugs her stuffed Build-A-Bear cat with the blonde wig, Catya to her chest: “And old Facebook lovers.”
“My name is Trixie Mattel AKA The Barbie you always thought might be possessed and this is-”
“Her girlfriend, Katya Zamolodchikova who puts the ‘end’ into ‘friend’-”
“As in end it please,” Trixie cuts her off with an eye roll.
Katya cackles and folds herself over into Trixie’s lap, pressing a kiss to her naked inner thigh. Trixie’s hands tighten on the back of her neck as she yanks her back up.
“And we are doing the Girlfriend Tag! Because I saw that so many of you guys have been requesting it, and Katya is in almost all of my videos, so…here goes everything we got.”
She sits back up and stuffs Catya in her shirt: “And everything we don’t got as well. This is Catya” She waves the stuffed kitten’s paw at the camera.
“Where did we first meet, Katya?”
She’s rubbing her stuffed shirt like she’d pregnant and makes eye-love to camera as she slowly growls, “Vell, I vas thick inside vomb of uncertainty, pregnant vith possibility of change, vhen I stumbled tit first into ze devil’s room-”
“We live in room 666 for everyone confused by what she’s talking about.”
“And then…then I saw her. And she saw me. And our nipples vanted to dance timmy-tango, but it took two. Two. And our minds vere still not one.”
“We, uh, we had a misunderstanding,” Trixie translates. “It’s actually a long story, but I’m just gonna skip forward and tell you that it worked out great in the end. Obviously. In fact, today is kinda our anniversary of when we first started dating.”
“Allegedly,” Katya whispers then grunts as she pushes Catya out of her shirt. She cradles the stuffed toy in her hands and kisses Catya’s cute little nose.
“Hm, boring…boring…oh, what would I eat everyday if I could?”
Katya smirks: “Cupcakes.”
Trixie flushes and pinches her thigh.
“And you would eat…” Trixie grabs Catya from her. “This pussy.”
Katya sing-songs, “Pussy good pussy sweet! Puss-”
“Anyways, what eye color do you wish I had?”
“Purple,” Katya says and tries to win back Catya from Trixie’s grip. “You could be a Targeryan born.”
Trixie faux-whispers to the camera, “She’s been watching Game of Throne and is in love with the blonde dragon lady Dani. Gay.”
“Hey! She’s a certified bad ass,” Katya whines as she leans back to grab a pillow and hit Trixie with it for making fun of her and stealing Catya.
The blonde squeaks and tackles her.
They have a semi-epic tickle fight that ends with Katya yelling ‘uncle!’ (“Oh, yeah, bet that’s not the first time you’ve screamed that before, huh?”)
They finish off, out of breath, with a couple more questions. Katya’s just realized that she’s been bra-less this whole video, and, she spends the last minute rubbing her nipples. Trixie pushes her off the bed when she notices and shuts off the camera.
Trixie starts to edit it, but Katya’s starving, so she drags Trixie through the snow to the cafe, where they had their first date.
They both order hot cocoa with extra whipped cream and sip from each other’s cups. Katya notices Willam and Phi Phi out of the corner of her eye, whispering. Hm, are they dating now?
Before Katya can point them out, the cafe door slams open. Alaska’s marching straight towards them with a look in her eyes that makes Katya slink back further into her booth. Trixie covers her hands.
“Where were you?” Alaska demands, hand on her hip.
“What are ya? My mother? I was out, bitch. O. U. T.”
“This is the third meeting you’ve missed, Willam” Alaska hisses as she slams her hands down on their table. “I can’t keep covering for you. All the RU girls have noticed you breaking the rules.”
“I’m living my life and that’s a problem? I signed up for party poppers, but all y’all have given me is a goddamned headache. Talk about a party pooper.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Willam says slowly. “And your mocktails and cocktails are shit too.”
“Maybe if you started helping around- I wouldn’t be the only one holding us all together-”
“Holding what together? A bitchy clique?” Phi Phi jumps in.
“Stay out of this, Pheef,” Alaska snaps in a low voice that sends a shiver down Katya’s spine. It’s that voice. Phi Phi must recognize it too because her cheeks go red.
“You’re just jealous that I’ve moved on! That I have Willam. Isn’t that it? Now, Sharon and I are both happy in new relationships without your controlling ass and-”
“Don’t,” Alaska snaps. “Please. Don’t bring her into this.”
“Why?”
“I said don’t so-”
“Because you loved her?” Phi Phi sneers. Even Katya can hear the sad, unspoken and you didn’t love me.
Trixie covers her mouth and her eyes meet Katya’s.
Alaska crosses her arm and shakes her head, voice smaller now: “Just…just come to the meetings Willam.”
Then she’s gone, and Katya swears that she saw something glinting in Alaska’s eyes. Tears? Phi Phi is whispering fervently, and Willam’s shaking her head ‘no.’
“Well, looks like the RU girls are still bringing the drama, huh?” Trixie comments and sips her hot cocoa.
Katya is tempted to text Phi Phi and ask what she’s up to, but she also doesn’t want to blow up their hiding spot.
“Some bombs are better left un-fondled,” Katya nods in agreement. They wait until Willam and Phi Phi leave, hand in hand, before they finish their date with a snowball fight.
It’s a magical evening that ends with Trixie uploading the video and cuddling Katya tightly in bed. Katya easily falls asleep, blissfully unaware of what’s to come.
—–
THE VIDEOS GO VIRAL
Katya should have known something was wrong when she woke up not only fully rested, but also in a good mood.
She went to shower, jerked off to her favorite fantasy (cumming on Trixie’s breasts), and happily hummed as she put on her bathrobe. She’d had a dreamless night, thank god, free from any floating heads-
Shit. Trixie’s wearing the barbie-doll-head-necklace.
“You never repeat any outfit,” Katya says slowly as she stares at it. Trixie’s curled up on the bed in pink overalls, fingers gently curled around the head.
“I try not to, but this is just so cute. Wow, Katya, our video already has ten thousand views! And I only put it up last night. You have to come read the comments,” Trixie begs and pats her lap.
Katya has a Russian class in twenty minutes, but, instead of getting dressed, she crawls up into Trixie’s lap. The necklace pearls brush against her damp shoulder, and Katya shivers.
Wow.
Phanfan4ever: YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! MAKE MORE PLS!!!!!!
This.
GrandeQueens: This is the first time I actually liked a Youtubers gf…she’s pretty and funny? More Katya!
Was.
Crazy4CookieDough: oh, man, I’m soooo gay for these two
Too.
GoddamnMermaid: I found this easy to masturbate to.
Much.
It’s all pouring in at once, and Katya can’t look. Problem is she also can’t look away. She flinches at how deep her voice is. Will people suspect she’s trans? Is it obvious?
Trixie’s staring at her, waiting for a reaction, but Katya’s face is blank. Her mind is blank and racing, all at the same time.
“I have to go to class,” she finally says and pushes Trixie off her. “I’m glad your channel is doing so well.”
Trixie doesn’t answer, scrolling through the comments again. Katya goes to class, but she shouldn’t have bothered. She can’t concentrate with her phone lighting up with notifications.
Violet slings a hand over her shoulder. “Aw, look at my new internet-famous friend. That Skyler Goat-ly reblogged Trixie’s video and it’s blowing up. I had to see your ugly mugs in gifs all morning and-”
“Can we not talk about this?” Katya snaps, and she dosen’t mean to come off so sharp. Violet raises an eyebrow.
“Sorry,” Katya sighs as she settles at the cafeteria table and flips through her sketchbook. “I think it’s cool but I…I’m not out to the world about being trans yet. I’m out to my friends and family only, you know?”
Violet just squeezes her shoulder and buys her a strawberry smoothie. The sugar and sweet friendship lifts her mood until she makes the mistake of opening up her Twitter. 21,000. She had only a 1000 followers this morning. Trixie must have linked her twitter to the video.Yep, Trix is up 15,000 followers.
Katya hopes that’s the end of it. Teenage fans- fine. Gifs- fine. New followers- fine.
It doesn’t stop there though.
The next morning, Trixie shakes Katya awake. Trixie looks paler than Katya has ever seen her.  
“Is it the video?” Katya yawns and rubs her eyes. “Sorry for overreacting, Trix-”
“No, Katya, it’s not- it’s- you have to-”
She’s never seen Trixie like this before. She’s holding her phone so tight that her knuckles are white. It feels like some surreal dream.
“I have to warn you,” Trixie stops her from pressing play and squeezes her hand. “It’s the party. I don’t know who took it or where it came from but…it’s spreading like wildfire over twitter, so I figured you should see it.”
It can’t be..? Katya’s face is already burning as she presses ‘play.’
The camera’s shaking, but it’s clear enough to see the dark puddle under her, the piss dripping down her shaking legs, and Alaska pushing up against her. It’s clear enough to see the obvious bulge between Katya’s legs.
No.
She can’t look, but she also can’t look away. It feels like Katya’s seeing herself from the other girl’s eyes; she looks pathetic.
“I…” Katya tries to speak but her throat is dry. There can only be one person malicious enough to leak this video. Only one she-devil.
“Shh,” Trixie kisses her cheek, misunderstanding her silence. “We can stay here all-”
Katya pushes Trixie away: “I have to see her.”
“Who?”
“The bitch that leaked this to the internet.”
“Katya, please, you’re not thinking straight. Why would Alaska even leak this? She’s got nothing to gain-”
But Katya has had enough of playing the victim. She’s had enough of being on the receiving end of the camera, enough of Katya-The-Headless-Circus-Freak. Show’s fucking over, Katya thinks as she grabs her coat and runs out.
Trixie’s chasing after her, but Katya slams the car door shut. She jerks on the ignition and hits the pedal. This is long overdue.
Katya’s never been confrontational, and, by the time she’s pulled up in front of the RU sorority house, the rage has simmered down. Why would Alaska leak the video? Because she’s evil! But also…why?
She shakes her head as she marches up to the front door. Still, she hesitates for half a second before banging on it.
A bedraggled Courtney Act throws her arms around Katya.
“I’m so sorry about what happened Katya, but we’ve trying to find, pardon the term, the leak-er all morning. Alaska’s lined us all up, and she won’t rest until one of confess.”
“She did it,” Katya says, less convincingly than before, and pushes past her to the familiar basement, just as damp and cold as ever. There Alaska is, in all her bitch-ress glory, and, fuck, it would feel good to slap her. Instead she stares up at her and demands-
“Why did you do it?”
“I didn’t.”
Slap.
Alaska stares up at her, cheek bright red: “Feel better?”
“Why did you do it,” Katya whispers but this time she’s not talking about the video. This time she’s talking about what happened, demanding to know why Alaska pushed her back against that wall. Why she held her down the way that she did. Why she kissed her cheek afterwards and fucking smirked.
“The power,” Alaska admits, voice low. “But I didn’t leak the video, Katya. The RU house is all I have left, and this will destroy us.”
“Good,” Katya snaps even though she feels anything but good. Courtney is standing at the top of the stairs, tears staining her face. This hellhole meant everything to them, didn’t it? Katya looks around at all the faces from Courtney’s tears to Alaska’s red cheek to-
“Where’s Willam?” She realizes.
“Gone. She was expelled,” Detox responds stepping forward and placing a hand on Alaska’s shoulders, “We thought it might be her, but she likes you, Katya-”
“She hates all of you,” Katya realizes.
There it is- the horrible and anticlimactic truth. This wasn’t a move against Katya, even though it’s her name that’s blowing up all over twitter because of Trixie’s video. It was a tactical move to slander Alaska and shut down the sorority. Fucking genius.
“I really am sorry,” Alaska pleads again, but Katya’s tired. It’s all so petty and bitter and toxic. She goes back to her car.
She looks at her phone as she cries, alone, in the car. She texts Willam, on a new confrontational streak apparently.
I didn’t do it -W
Been framed like Roger Rabbit -W
It was your video??? -K
Yeah, it was my vid, but I got receipts that I can send to show that I didn’t leak it myself -W
Idc -K
She texts Trixie that she’ll be ‘back late’ as she turns off her phone and heads to the studio. Translation: I’m going to dissociate and dissolve into a canvas. Bye. Katya paints a glowing face with gentle shades of yellow. Then she takes the red and slices it away. Off with her head.
“What’s with the decapitation?” Sharon Needles asks, perching on a stool. Katya hasn’t seen her at all this semester.
“It’s a metaphor,” she makes up as she takes the bristles of the brush and flicks red paint.
“For what?”
“Loss of virginity,” Katya monotones.
Sharon laughs. She’s a fucking weirdo, like her, and Katya wonders why they never hang out. Then Sharon pulls out a plastic bag of coke from her pocket. Oh, that’s why.
Katya should ask her to leave, but she likes the company.
“Did you know I’m famous now? Viral video. The whole internet has seen me piss myself.”
“Yeah?” Sharon lines up the white powder. “Enjoy your five minutes of fame. Doesn’t last. Trust me.”
“Uh…?”
“I was a child star. Mouse prostitution,” the dirty blonde says with a sniff.
“Disney channel? Rough,” Katya cackles, and she does actually feel better. Nothing like a trainwreck friend to make you feel like less of a wreck.
“Fame’s shit, so just make a bunch of T-shirts and sell ‘em while the blood is still warm. Maybe ‘Urine Trouble?’ Trust and believe that they move on quicker then,” Sharon snaps her fingers and shivers. “And then you’re left wondering what it all means.”
Katya takes red and draws delicate veins into the eyes of her damsel in distress. Sharon Needles has started to rant about her relationship issues with Laila the Clingy Goth, so she’s zoned out.
“…it’s almost as bad as what Phi Phi did to me…”
“Wait, what did she do?”
“Motherfucker betrayed me,” Sharon takes another sniff. “Alaska and I had a beautiful thing going until she came between us. That tired ass show girl will do anything to sabotage Alaska.”
Katya thinks back to the Valentine’s day fight. Willam and Phi Phi were whispering…Oh.
She turns her phone back on -tired off isolating herself from her issues- and reads the receipts Willam sent her. She’s tearing up as she calls Phi Phi. She’s that girl, and maybe Katya always knew she was.
“Why did you do it, Pheef? I thought we were friends. Willam I could take -I barely knew her- but I thought we were real friends?” Katya hears her voice echoing against the studio walls.
The video is flashing in her wide eyes. Wet puddle. Hard bulge. Puddle. Bulge. Over and over and over and-
“You should be happy, Katya. RU is done, didn’t you hear? It worked. University is revoking their sorority license, and the internet thinks you’re a fucking legend. It’s a victory!”
“You outed me, Phi Phi. Exposed me. Humiliated me. EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THAT’S A VICTORY?”
Katya throws the phone down, not caring if the black screen cracks, and breaks down. Sharon fucking Needles -The Certified Mess- is more composed than her right now. She buries her face into the skinny blonde’s neck and sobs.
A hand slowly rubs down her back, and all Katya wants is her mother. That’s all she wants. Or Trixie.
She picks up her phone and speed dials ‘HOME.’ Katya needs to hear Pat right now even if she dosen’t explain everything to her tonight. She rocks back and forth, cradling the phone, as she just babbles nonsense.
“The video and the floating head and Phi Phi and- shitshitshit. What should I do?” She asks as she wipes her face, breathing hard.
“Just try to pick up all the pieces you have, baby. Relax. Pick up all the important ones, and the rest will fall into place.”
She goes back to Room 666, and she finds Trixie. Home, Katya knows as she buries her face between her soft breasts, breathes in her familiar scent. She takes a deep breathe as she pulls out her phone and types out-
U didn’t deserve that slap. Or maybe u did before but now…I know that Phi Phi did it -K
Somehow I’m not surprised, bitch is cray -A
Remember when she posted that nude pic of Trixie you drew in front of the party? Last Halloween? -A
Don’t remind me -K
But I really am sorry -A
I don’t want it to be this way forever -A
U want to do something for me? -K
Yes, of course. Anything -A
Katya remembers how Sharon wiped mascara tears from her cheeks onto her sweatshirt.
Try to forgive Needles for whatever the fuck she did, k? -K
I already have -A
Then what are you waiting for? -K
The…perfect moment -A
Fake as fuck -K
There’s just now and here -no such time as perfect- and we can’t waste our lives waiting to find our heads -K
I don’t deserve her or you or anyone. Phi Phi was right, ok? I got what was coming. I’m an evil snake bitch, and I deserve this -A
Don’t make me slap u again -K
U don’t think I wish I was whole and healed and healthy? -K
U don’t think I deserve happiness? -K
Of course you do -A
Then u do too! -K
Maybe it won’t ever be right between us…but please just speak to Needles -K
I’ll try -A
Let’s pick up all these broken pieces and make something new -K
—–
DAY BEFORE SPRING BREAK
Katya finds herself sitting in front of the camera again, but this time she’s the one who’s in control.
“Hello, this is Katya. Local internet star famous for rubbing her nipples on camera and…pissing herself. Before you ask, you sick fucks, no, I am not available for porn. But if you want to see my ‘leaked’ nudes…oh, I guess you guys already have.”
She bits her lip and looks up at Trixie, who gives her a thumbs up.
“So recently a video of me spread around the internet faster than herpes in a free love festival…and, yeah, it was fucked up to be outed as trans. If you don’t know what I’m talking about- now you know. I, Katya, being of sound mind, am a transgender woman. A woman full of lots of woe and a bit of man.”
“Do I have RU-grets? Absolutely. Would I change some of it? Fuck yeah. But out of all my worst moments come my best. From the night of Halloween, when I wet myself -notice a common theme?- I ended up dating Trixie,” Kaya explains and hugs Catya to her chest.
It’s hard to be this raw and real.
“To the night of…that video…After I quit the sorority, I ended up starting my club ‘Art and Anatomy,” Katya takes a deep breathe and slowly exhales. “Then all of this comes to light on the internet, and I guess, to misquote Kayne West, that bitch made me famous.”
“So, yeah, Kardashian built an empire off her humiliating tape…why can’t I? Buy my merch. Be prepared for more videos. Oh, and download Same Parts on Itunes.”
Trixie rolls her eyes in the background and snorts.
“And tweet my girlfriend thanks for all the cock-sucking therapy. Cum really wonders for your complexion, Tracey! You’re glowing!”
Trixie turns off the camera. “I’m surprised you managed to stay serious for that long.”
“Me? Serious?”
“A concept. I know. Now, come on, Needles and Alaska are hosting one of their lit ass parties, and I don’t want to be late.”
Katya wraps her hands around Trixie’s waist and kisses her. “I think I’d rather spend the night here.”
“Tired, baby?” Trixie teases.
“Never of you.”
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cbspams · 3 years
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The Boyz - No Air (A Song of Ice and Fire)
These are gonna be super fucking long, just fair warning.
Hello again and welcome to another round of Delphine nitpicking a performance into the oblivion!
Honorable mention to my roommate who desperately despises kpop with all their heart but watched this performance (and the other TBZ performance) with me to help me get some insight on how attuned to GOT the performance was since I've never watched the show or read the books. For reference, they have read the books, watched the tv show and in their free time they listen to extensive opinion pieces and analytical essays on GOT. So I'd personally put their knowledge pretty high, but once again this is like a second hand account so sorry if I get things wrong.
ALRIGHT LETS GET IT!!
First, I wanna talk a bit about the pre-performance clips. I really liked the underwater photography studio idea as a way to feel and show desperation. I personally would need to do something else as I'm not afraid of water but I think that the literal concept of not having air is interesting and a good direction. I'm also really proud of Sunwoo for working so hard despite his fear, and I'm really touched by Younghoon specifically going back into the tank to help. Side note but pufferfish New hehehehe.
I genuinely wish they had used more of the film and photography from the session for the actual performance. I feel like a short pre-performance film would've really elevated the storyline, especially since they're trying to reference GOT which is (as according to the books and the show UP TO where the books ended, yknow, pre-season 8) really, really plot and lore based. Not to dive too deep into the theme yet but I feel as though a lot of TBZ's performances in Kingdom (which are really just this one and then O Sole Mio (Red Wedding) in round 2) aren't really expressing the full extent of their themes.
What I mean by this is that anyone who has read A Song of Ice and Fire (ASIF, pls dont @ me if this is the wrong acronym bc idk??) probably knows that TBZ performance wasn't really based in any events of the book or any themes of it. No Air is a desperate love song and there's plenty of desperation in ASIF but it really feels like TBZ did a mix of inspired by ice and fire (the literal elements) and set in ASIF (physical location markers). According to my roommate, the set pieces are recognizably places in ASIF but the performance didn't really track the themes present in the novel. I'll get to the Red Wedding later as well, but in both performances although TBZ were clearly trying to track some level of GOT's, it feels underdeveloped and therefore to me feels clunky, which is a bit disappointing because TBZ are masters of concepts and executing new ideas. Not sure if this makes sense but I guess if I had to summarize, it would be that they're taking inspiration from the name and title of things rather than the actual source material so it doesn't feel as effect in some ways. STILL, if I consider it operating on the level of just ice and fire rather than by GOT, they did a beautiful job!
Consider this: No Air is originally a bit more of an upbeat rhythm and melody but the way they toned it to be almost kind of in minor key to fit the desperation theme? Whoever's doing arrangement is putting out stuff that's really amazing. On top of that, the drum beats in the baseline add to that same feeling and then to have the turn around where the melody gets softer before the chorus, is a beautiful touch of contrast that really draws together the tender side of a desperate love. And the first chorus feels almost defeated, longing and yearning. I feel like the flow of the music really fit a tragic romance storyline, which I just love about TBZ.
Even with their less than stellar (imo) execution of theme, they're still putting out completely new and incredible ideas. Starting even with the 100 sec performances in which they did the hands thing and now with the POV camera direction, TBZ are taking full advantage of the stage and it's set up, which I cheer at every time I see it. Even the other groups are were picking up their ideas! See Stealer (The Scene) by SF9 in which Zuho "fights" the camera.
ALSO a quick note on the beginning camera work!! They show the frozen zombies (an allusion to the white walkers I assume) and they're completely stiff but then the camera moves towards Juyeon and the woman's arms take off one of his wrist cuffs before turning and you see that the zombies have moved!! And then there's a quick shot that as she's turned around to take off the other cuff, the zombies start to move again. That's a really smart way of setting up the kind of stakes in the moment, that if she doesn't get Juyeon free quickly then she'll be attacked and overtaken and Juyeon will stay trapped. The blocking in this moment is immaculate as far as story telling goes!! I love when the camera contributes to the theme and storyline, very much a show don't tell kind of thing. Love that for them.
The stretch screen is also a really interesting idea! I'm not sure how it correlates to ASIF or their theme necessarily, I think it's more of a performance aspect but literally Juyeon What The Fuck. He's genuinely so talented and it stems from his dedication and hard work. They kind of mention in the pre-performance clips that he's really harsh on himself and cries after performances when they don't do well, but legit I thought he did so, so well here. His expressions were really forlorn at first and once again, those dance moves!! Bro!!
On the topic of expressions, because one of their main themes is desperation, I watched really closely to how they were expressing that with their faces and bodies. I'm judging body language differently, since kpop dances tend to really favor the more hip hop, sharp isolation style and I can't view it like, oh they should've done contemporary dance.
Kevin's opening line gave me goosebumps. The kind of build up in the strings to his cool but forceful voice, mmph. I think Haknyeon's anger is also a really nice touch because desperation may be based in sadness but it's real expression usually comes out in anger. In that last do or die moment, are you cowering and hiding in an attempt to survive or do you fight back? The human body has a natural instinct to thrash around and reach for anything you can when you drown, and it feels like a fight because it is one. So although TBZ is aiming for a sad and tragic love story, because their main theme is what it is, I like that they included different sides from fury to despair. Sunwoo's little head toss back was really good too, both technically and thematically.
Honestly I don't know who choreo'd this but I really liked it. They definitely choreo'd it with the camera in mind, which I mean, everyone did but their was really smooth and easy to flow with. People were walking off camera nonchalantly, as opposed to sprinting off. It's something that ATEEZ had trouble with in the 100 sec performance (in the pre-performance clip) so you can see TBZ experience in performing the live take on the Kingdom stage (which I've mentioned before is a really unconventional type of stage). Plus because the arrangement slows in different places, they have little moments of tragic love as well (like pre-chorus when the camera unblindfolds Hyunjae or post-chorus when Haknyeon, Kevin, Sangyeon, and Jacob hold the lover's hands tenderly), which just emphasizes their desperation! I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot but tbh that just goes to show how in tuned TBZ are with their emotional theme. Another thing is the zombies, which continues the theme from before that they're fighting somehow to stay with their lover or that their time is in danger. Sunwoo dangling over the hoard, like okay. Okay! I see you! Oof, props to you choreographer, props to you.
YOUNGHOON!!! What an actor man, he's got such a diverse range of facial expressions. He really pulls off the kind of empty, forlorn look, ugh. Please get this man a role in a drama, 11/10 would watch. Honestly Juyeon too, please guys I'm too wear for those intense, piercing looks.
That last moment is interesting. It's almost like they're flinging their lover away from the fire, rejecting them so they'll be safe? The explosion in the back honestly doesn't make a lot of sense except as some kind of climactic moment but I don't think they needed it. It doesn't really fit the story they were telling, nor does it set up for their next performance so like. Why lol.
I'm new TBZ and I've been kind of eating up content from them, but especially because I got to know them through RTK, I had really high expectations for them now. I think they're still doing wonderfully, especially between the new creative freedoms Kingdom offers. But I also think they're suffering what I've previously described as the kind of burden to come up with something that fits in the set.
A quick recap: Because RTK had less budget and was smaller, the props and sets were a lot more simple and specific. Each group had to create stories using limited props which forced them to be more technically advanced with their formations, dance moves, arrangements etc. Because Kingdom has more budget and can now create elaborate sets and costumes etc, I think the groups are somehow less diverse and creative here than in RTK. Their technical skill still shines through but it feels like a lot of it gets covered with the sets and stuff.
So like in RTK, TBZ made ample usage of their own bodies to tell stories whereas now it feels like they're not doing that and it makes me sad in some ways because I think that's the appeal of a competition show. That you're allowed to make more story telling with your own body, instead of following pure performance choreography like in normal performances. Something that comes to mind for example is like The Eve from EXO. The song is supposedly about standing up to corruption but the dance is uh. Sexy and honestly not very aligned with the song. So like that's kind of a choreography and performance for the sake of performance. But on RTK, groups were able to have more themed storytelling and TBZ were a master of it, from thieves in Danger to revolutionaries in Reveal. So I'm just a little sad to see that kind of vanish with the budgeting that comes with Kingdom.
Despite all that, I still think TBZ have put on a great performance and it's still really interesting and fun to watch. I hope that their future performances allow them a little more creativity and storytelling with their bodies and techniques, with the set pieces helping enhance that rather than hinder it.
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cygneblanc · 7 years
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First Month in IB World School - Kolej Mara Banting
Greetings, fellow Earthens. It is I, your local inconvenience, saluting from the middle of nowhere, surrounded by palm trees, and thousand miles away from home 🍇 Kia Ora, people! (Nice guess, but I’m not at New Zealand) Before I start my long rant, I just wanna apologise beforehand with the weird format that I typed my blog with because my laptop decided to be a huge B and won’t connect to my internet. Hence, I’m currently typing this thing on my phone! Not a problem, but it’s annoying the hell out of me haha let’s just move on before I stray away from the topic 🍇 First and foremost! OMG GUYS I SURVIVED ONE MONTH IN KMB WITHOUT ANY MAJOR THINGS OR DRAMA HAPPENED (well few mini episodes but nothing grand that’s cinematic worthy, but oh well moving onnnnn) I, believe it or not, survived the first month without ANY sorts of homesickness, or even any illness (HAH to the doctor that said I need an antibody injection, I. Survived. Without. Getting. Sick.) Of course, the first impression towards KMb was nothing short of a shock. Low-key (I meant high key) regretting for rejecting UNIMAS because I was expecting a UNI life, you know. I want to FEEL LIKE AN ADULT, but lmao guess who gets to be in a classroom and having teachers instead of lecturers and have to greet the teachers every time they come in? (Suck it up, Niqa. It’s called IB world SCHOOL for a reason. It lives up to it’s name.) So yeah, the life that I’m living right now is NOTHING like the fantasies that I used to have about University life. Nothing. Big shout out to Niqa because she never fails to disappoint herself! Woohoo! We have our class from 8 till 3.30, sometimes up till 4.30 if we have some extra remedial or meeting up with the teachers, but I usually just stay at the academic block until 5.30 (because I’m a good girl 🙃 lah sangat) and everything here is pretty much scheduled. So, to say that we don’t have a life, is correct. Like I said, NOTHING like what I imagined uni life is all about. 🍇 Even thooooough, the life here is, lmao to be blunt, extraordinarily lame, but I wasn’t joking when I said I really like it here, and I think one of the main reason (I honestly think it’s the only reason, but lmao let’s pretend I didn’t type that out) that I really like it here in KMB is, the people. The seniors, my batch mate, the teachers (they’re actually lecturers but I honestly have no idea why they insisted on us addressing them as teachers), the staffs, mak cik DS, pak cik guard, and literally everybody else are so amazing. They’re very kind and genuine that it makes me feel so loved and accepted here. It’s weird how so far away I am from where I’m from, but I feel so ‘belonged’ here. And I honestly guess that’s the main reason why I didn’t get any sort of homesickness. Though this place is NOTHING like home, but it feels like a home to me. Their kindness was quite overwhelming in the first place and I was soooo awkward because I’m not used to it and I legit had no idea how to react towards such kindness, but then, slowly I learnt that it comes from the heart. Everything comes from the heart. If the kindness that you received comes from within, then make sure to repay from the within too. It’s so different, (lmao it’s like langit and bumi, honestly) from the people that I died to associate myself with back in Green Road, (I LOVE YOU LITTLE DAREDEVILS AND SATANS WITH ALL MY HEART I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND I MISS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU DEVILS) and I thought that it would very hard for me to ‘fit in’, but how wrong I was. I still remember during the first day of orientation and how I was in TOTAL DISTRESSED because my MARA agreement was apparently incomplete, two of my batch mates came up to me, sat next to me , and just talked to me like I'm one of their friends, and I've never felt more grateful before because it was like the beginning of how my perception changed towards these people. Everyone is just so accepting. It’s partly because how the seniors and the teachers never fail to remind us every time during orientation days, about how we are all now back to zero. Nada. Kosong. And we’re all starting from the same starting point so there really is no one ahead or no one got left behind. We’re a team. Not competitors, and I just really like that concept and how it changes the perceptions that I have towards this people. They didn’t get the upper hands just because they’re from boarding school, they’re just like me, chasing after the same goal. And instead of a huge stampede and massacre, we’re holding hands, and making sure that no one gets left behind, while reaching for the end goal, together. 🍇 Secondly, the culture that they’ve nurtured here thoughhhhhh. Holy cow, I’m so amazed. Can you believe that thievery is unheard of, here in KMB? You can literally just leave your phone anywhere and leave your laptop at the middle of concourse, come back to take it few hours later, and it will still be there, untouched. The people here really respect each other’s stuff and of course, very disciplined and I’m just so amazed. Wow, I’m a part of these people now? Phew, Niqa. You’re amazing. (Let me have this moment, guys. I want to puji diri too) and cases of hysteria is so rare. Wait, if I’m not mistaken, it never happened here before? Like, can you believe that? A college. I heard so many ghost stories of different college that I was kinda scared entering this so called dorm life but lmao I literally have nothing to be scared of. I love how we just sit together every night and recite Ma'thurat in the morning at the surau before class, recite Al Mulk together at night, the solat jemaah, Quran in group sessions. Everything is just so rare for a common student like me from a commoner school. Like wow? No wonder budak mrsm sbp so amazing? What was I doing with my whole 18 years of life? Sleeping while living? I felt so left behind in everything, but then again, like I said, everyone here is so amazing you hardly feel the huge gap that we have. I love each and every breathing creatures there to bits 💜 🍇 HAH I sounded like I’m living the live in KMB and loving it so much, ain’t I? I do, but that DOES NOT mean that I have nothing to complain about here 😭 trust me, I do. A lot. Though I’m trying very hard to stay positive (trust me, I do. Very hard), sometimes it gets hard too. So just bear with me as I list my complaints one by one. 1st : WHY IS THE GIRLS’ BLOCK SO FAR AWAY FROM EVERYTHING? The academic block. The DS. The surau. EVEYTHING IS A 5MINUTE WALK AWAY. I just don’t understand. Why? (But I’m low-key learning to like the long walk because that’s the only form of 'exercise’ I do here. Walk.) it’s tiring lmao bye moving on. 2nd : um, why is eveything and everyone so damn loud here? My heart suffers a lot. I jumped when someone laugh out loud. Trust me, it’s really LOUD AND USUALLY AT LIKE 12 PM EXCUSE ME HONEY BUNNY I WOULD LIKE SLEEP AND NOT HAVING HEART ATTACK WHILE DOING SO THANK YOU, I jumped when the ticker for the prayer time goes off, I jumped when the time indicator bell goes off, my ear buzzed every time aeroplane flew by, I jumped when Salman screamed into the microphone back in orientation days (he didn’t really scream I was exaggerating, but he might as well scream with a voice that loud) heCK I EVEN JUMPED WHEN FATIN TALKED TO ME BECAUSE I FORGOT SHES IN THE ROOM WITH ME. I’ll probably either suffers from a heart problem or hearing problem in my two years time here, whichever comes first. 3rd : life with sensitive skin IS ALWAYS a problem when you’re changing water. My skin suffers A LOT. With tiny red rashes and eczema, I feel like tearing my own skin apart every time I’m taking a bathe. Like do you even Niqa? Cause I can’t even Niqa sometimes. What even. Last but not least, lmao I’m broke af. If anyone feels like doing some good deeds and donating to charity pls feel free to hit me up I’m a willing receiver of your donation. Much love 💜 🍇 Although I would love to rant more, I still have presentation slides to prepare 😭 and a pending mini thesis for PI. I would like to end my blog (so formal, tsk) with a HUGE THANK YOU to my Group 12 members (I love you guys so much I’ve never met a group of people who are so crazy and fun yet genuinely cared for each other like you guys do), the seniors (especially MPPs, you guys made the orientation nights miserable yet memorable 🙆🏻 and the dedications that you guys put into making the nights fun is amazing and I appreciate them all. What an inspiring bunch 💕), my roommate (FATIN ADWIANA MY TEENY TINY HUMAN I love how you’re shorter than me and makes me feel tall JK FATIN I LOVE YOU YOU ADOWABLE LOUD HUMAN), and my classmates M17E (you guys honestly laughed wayyyyyy too much and so rowdy but hey, that’s what makes the class fun 🙆🏻🙆🏻), and the whole 17/19 batch 💜 whatta bunch 💜 With love (so much love, can’t you feel it?), Niqa 🍇 (It’s 'Nee-Ka, not 'Nee-Qo’ , okay? 🙄)
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