#please tell me someone gets this joke

[nutton-of-tata]

AITA for trying to comfort my roommate?

I (16 m) am living at a boarding school in England for the rest of my high school life. I have a roommate (15 m) who I try to get along with. He's really antisocial and actively ignores me and our classmates, even picking fights sometimes if they talk to him too much. All he does is read books and sulk in the room we share. I try to see past it but it's his night terrors that really bother me. Every night, he screams someone's name and wakes me up. He usually goes back to sleep right after but this time he was thrashing around. I woke him up and tried to give him water, but he just snapped at me and ran off. I chased after him and he slapped me. He tried to backpedal and so I punched him right back. Then we went into an all out fist fight and I slammed him into the ground over and over. Turns out he's also gay and that name he screamed was his ex bf. Am I the asshole?

Edit: I think I'm in love with him now

#sekaiichi hatsukoi #sekai ichi hatsukoi #please tell me someone gets this joke #nao kiyomiya #ritsu onodera #onodera ritsu

[keyshui]

my matthew tkachuk funko pop arrived

#please tell me someone gets this joke #matthew tkachuk

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

House is homophobic in a gay way, not in a straight way

#this is a joke obviously #but i will not be elaborating #i know im right #please tell me someone else gets this #house md #house #greg house #gregory house #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Los Chicos Peleandoooooo

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #song lan #xue yang #I know it makes jokes less funny if you explain them but I feel like I gotta for this one: #xue yang’s Spanish here is playing on the fact he’s a beginner (using a commonly taught phrase) #combined with the fact that he’s clearly taking what he’s heard Xiao Xingchen use. #of course XY would want to know how to cuss someone out in another language. Do you think XXC would teach him how? Nope. #XY would ask ‘How do I to someone I really hate them?’ #and XXC would say ‘You tell them ‘Te Amo Mucho’ :•)’ #As FAR as XY is concerned he knows *so* many swears. These words are just terms of endearment. #XXC would not swear or cuss anyone out but he *would* punctuate phrases with general terms of endearment. #More so directed towards A-Qing but Xue Yang has been proven to be a decent indirect learner. #That said he has also been shown to Not Quite Get The Nuances (consequences of observational learning). #Sadly he never had a good observational model for love or compassion B*( #Spanish speakers please oh god please correct me if I biffed something badly here. I can fix it.

[buffygirlfail]

mourning the loss of the potential anyataraspike bestieism we could've gotten

#buffygirlfail.btvs #please please please tell me someone gets it #ik so many spuffy fics do this already but trust everytime i will eat it up #spike + anya bonding over their demon pasts... tara + anya being bee eff effs... spike + tara joking... i'm a bad writer but PLS trust this #isn't me just fanon-izing all of the characters lollll #I just think that the way most of them serve as foils to their partners (buffy + xander + willow) #makes it make sense that the 3 would get along yk #I don't know how to tag this uhhhh #anya jenkins #spike btvs #tara maclay #spuffy #tillow #xanya

[cuoredimuschio]

okay, but where's my steddie AU where steve wants to learn to play guitar to impress a girl he's infatuated with and he remembers that munson kid was always hanging up posters for his weird band at school, so he hikes out to eddie's usual dealing spot behind the track and asks (with far less groveling than he really should have) if eddie will teach him how to play, and obviously eddie says no because why would he want to help king steve, but of course, steve offers to pay him, $20 a week, and well, that's the kind of get-the-hell-out-of-this-shithole-town cash eddie really can't afford to refuse, so fine, he'll teach steve to play and they'll spend inordinate amounts of time together tucked away in eddie's room and they'll start to see that they have more in common than they thought and that they kind of had each other all wrong, and eddie will put his hand over steve's to help him get the placement for a tricky chord and it totally won't awaken anything in either of them?? where is it??

edit: i started writing it

#steve x eddie #steddie #stranger things #someone tell me this has already been written because i need it. please. #bonus points if steve shows up to the first practice session empty-handed #and eddie nearly calls the whole thing off when he has the Audacity to grab at eddie's sweetheart as if eddie'd ever let him play her #and he doesn't even teach steve anything that day because rule number one get your own fucking guitar and keep your mitts off mine #but by the end when eddie is deep deep deep in love and it's time to send steve off to woo this lucky girl of his #he offers to let steve take his sweetheart because she's guaranteed to make him look ten times hotter and cooler #and he'll have no trouble sweeping his girl off her feet and maybe eddie's breaking his own heart but it's fine—as long as steve's happy #except steve doesn't seem nearly as happy as eddie thought he would be #he seems sad actually and eddie kind of hates that so he starts to make some lame joke about how steve should be honored #because eddie wouldn't lend his baby out to just anyone and that gets steve to crack half a smile #but then he puts the guitar down on eddie's bed (with all due gentle reverence) walks over takes eddie's face in his hands and kisses him #kisses him like he's been dying to do it for weeks. because he has #because somewhere along the line it stopped being about wanting to impress a girl and started being about wanting to be with eddie #it started being screwing up on purpose so that eddie would grab his hands and show him how it's supposed to be done #and forgetting about lessons entirely and just sitting around and listening to eddie talk or just watching him play #because somewhere along the line steve fell out of infatuation and into love with the last person he ever expected.... #anyway idk where i'm going with this

[notachair]

Since atla is again having an extra surge of popularity, I'm shooting my shot:

[ID: (Rest of image description in alt). At the bottom of the image sits the text: "Zuko: Okay. Well, I can't remember how it starts, but the punchline is "leaf me alone, I'm bushed."" ID end].

Did we ever find out what the setup for this joke was? I feel kinda haunted by it. If not- anyone wanna make their best or worst guesses?

edit: I now know what "I'm bushed" mean, but go ahead anyway 👍

haunted thoughts in tags ↓

#atla #the way I was early out for this next surge in popularity 🤗 I was in a different phase by 2020 #it's not like it haunts me day and night but it does bother me thinking back on it. please tell me I'm not the only one 🧍‍♂️ #I'll have to reblog the 'closure is a myth' post jk #what kind... of joke is it? leaf pun on leave i get. I'm bushed however I dont get. it implies the punchline sayer is a bush at least I #think. but what prompts the 'i am bushed' I dont get. is it not contextual? is it a phrase ive not connected like 'leaf me alone'? #is there anotger layer between leaf and bush? again what kind of joke (social:joke purpose. what is funny? only pun?) + (in-joke set up)? #is it about the kind of bush it is? is it between two plants? the plant & someone picking on the plant like a teamaker collecting? #is it about a plant that has grown into bush and thus (somethingsomething)?? is it not a plant at all? other elements? iroh *what*. #if the creators actually had a setup in mind- I fear it will be lame. but yet I am haunted #it must have cracked someone up for him to try relay it. (set in term of endearment here) 🧍‍♂️👈 *poking him* #either way. me 🤝 zuko @ being bad at remembering & relaying jokes 😁👍 #at least in that instance anyway #I mainly stick to irony & sarcasm. running along with an mistaken assumption or replying w something silly & blowing it out of proportions. #puns if I'm lucky. ect. fun when I can reference it later tho I try not to overdo it. not like I'll likely remember it for too long anyway #now to lay in wajt see if anything happens.... #avatar the last airbender #zuko #atla zuko #a:tla #my rambles #its lie and not lay is it not.....

[prettyhighforawhiteguyblog]

I'm the wife in my marriage.

It's funny to me anyway. Funny to me because my wife is the very picture of femininity, loving, caring, sexy, pretty, beautiful wife, loving and adored by all her children. And a satisfied and hot for her husband.

But to me she is beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!

And yet she chose me.

So to all the hella ladies who rejected my advances? Y'all missed out. Because she saw in me what way too many people couldn't. And sometimes still can't.

And she wants to run my life. And the lives of our whole family. And we all kinda love it. Mostly. But it ain't worth the headache or heartache of fighting her on anything. She's Daddy's little princess and her mother is the loving matron and queen bitch of the family and we all stay in line. Mostly. I love to do my own thing too much for my own good. But it keeps our fights about stupid stuff instead of my weed use again.

(I'm dead ass functional and present from 6am on till I finally get my insomniac ass too sleep while high just to escape the constant anxiety about my sick daughter's upcoming surgery, my dying suegro, my mourning wife, disturbed autistic son, special needs princess Daddy's girl I'm spoiling her to death to make her just as powerful and ungovernable mother and it's working too well already. Have you ever negotiated with a hostile bitchy entitled as fuck child? )

Anyway, you wouldn't know it looking at me or talking normal chitchat, but I'm pretty fucking manly. In the way my culture defines manliness. I'm not very masculine. But I'm very manly.

I'm feminine as fuck in my household. I mother the kids, help their emotional development, work on my wife's emotional and mental well-being, and I'm the one never in the mood for sex. And I do every single thing she says. And then she does the discipline and management of the family's affairs. And she's the one who has to seduce me. Did I mention she was sexy as fuck? (While I'm awkward as fuck every time we even roleplay.) And a horny Latina. (That's why these horny sexy, nice, Latinos are taking over. It's natural selection. The Whites just can't compete and as usual are getting their panties in a twist over not being able to compete even with everything in their favor to out reproduce them all but it was too many kids for a nuclear family to handle Whites.) So beautiful hot queen sexy as fuck Latina seduces me every night. #blessed. So fuck yeah I don't wanna fuck up this arrangement. So I do everything she tells me to and treat her real good and let her win every argument and over apologize. Except when I make a rare exception to make a stand in something important or just to make some trouble and have some fun.

Oh yeah. She's a clean freak 😮‍💨 But she's an impatient Latina housewife perfectionist clean freak. So she gets mad at my perfectly good job when company isn't ever coming job and tells me to stop even trying to clean. Go play Minecraft with your daughter to keep her occupied.🤣

I have the best living situation ever. I'll be your bitch my bitchy highness. Just please keep playing with my hair on your lap. Oh, and that sucking my dick the way you do and being right 95% of the time on judgement calls.

So yeah I'm the wife.

And I got a pretty good life.

#and know you know the rest of the story #when i was s younger man i had a good paying job at a factory plant as a temp worker #i liked this job #and it was easy clean indoor temp controlled light labor with a jovial #kindly and generally loving crowd of people all just trying to earn a living in this shit economy #and care for each get along with each other #it was a really nice atmosphere. there was only a little manager taking advantage of a woman's situation to force a relationship. #but she was petty please about the whole arrangement because she was lonely and he was kind and likable and #good looking younger guy #and it made her job impossible to get the boot #even as it got easier to boot #anyways i worked my ass off and just tried to get along with the boss #and it paid great #We could have been poor and happy working jobs like that for life if i really had to got some reason #but anyways this bossman manager sees me sweeping my ass off a clean floor and instead of telling me to go lean on a post for a bit #tells me I'm doing a good job #and that I'll make a someone s fine wife someday #i wanted to slap that smug mother fucker up there head w my broom. But i was laughing to hard at that fuckers joke because i liked the guy. #and i liked my job #anyway #here i am being a good little wife #and I'm living the life of Reilly doing it #i don't know the etymology of that phrase is. only my Dad says it in my experience #it might be good own little creation. #you're welcome #And the mother fucker just let me keep sweeping my dumbass all over a clean floor! #Union strong

[sheltershock]

The other day I was rewatching Hollowtone’s vod on Psychonauts 2, which is fun because of the chat overlay. And there’s the part where you can open the powers menu and see all the nice embroidered badges and the nice signatures of the teachers that gave you them…. except Sasha’s. And this makes sense, he wasn’t authorized to teach Raz psi-blast, so it would be really bad if he’s showing off his cool badges on his bag and someone sees Sasha’s signature. So Ford signed off on the marksmanship badge. But the chat in the vod is coming up with hilarious reasons why Sasha didn’t/couldn’t sign off on it, my favorites being:

“He’s only capable of of writing in Times New Roman”

“His handwriting is bad, toddler/doctor level”

“Sasha writes exclusively in latin”

“He actually can’t write”

“He uses telekinesis for everything, if he touches a pen he instantly dies”

And I was thinking about how ridiculous they were, but when I actually think about it… is there ever a proven time he actually writes something down? Like with his hands?

He’s living in a time period where typewriters existed, and in the current time, computers do, and therefore printers… And in one of the promotional comics he’s not even using his hands to eat with a fork, he just uses his powers. He uses telekinesis for most things actually. I don’t find it out of the realm of possibility of just using telekinesis to write things down. And then, I guess he’d never actually have need to learn to do it with his hands…

Maybe Sasha can’t write.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #sasha nein #im seriously struggling to come up with a specific example in the game of something he actually wrote with his hands #I know this is absolutely ridiculous but I wouldn’t put it past his character #please tell me if there is one #i can just imagine a scenario where he’s like giving a presentation and writing things on a board with TK obviously #and everyone “normal” is rolling their eyes but like the chalk/marker breaks or something and someone gets him a new one #and someone asks why he can’t just do it the old fashioned way and he has some excuse of that he’ll block whatever he’s writing #but one is the interns *jokes* that “it’s ‘cause he can’t write” and of course that gets reaction from the crowd of surprise and denial #but the intern is like “if it’s so ridiculous then he can just prove me wrong right?” And everyone agrees #but all Sasha can do is sweat and stare defeatedly at the chalk/marker in his hand #do with this information as you will

[oliviaaaah]

Jack Kelly loves the other newsies so much…you might say he wouldn’t trade them for The World

#well he did then he untraded them?? #newsies #newsies joke #newsies musical #please someone tell me they get this

[aemiron-main]

oh my god will byers you dumbass suzie: it’s an ip address

will: an i WHAT address he thought that suzie was saying like. an i pee address. like the dumb joke kids do where theyre like “say the word “i” and then spell the word “CUP”  theory that will fell for those jokes all the time as a kid and now he think that suzie’s out to get him too. i always thought his reaction was weird because like. ip isn’t a big technical word. like even if you don’t understand the Concept, the WORD itself isn’t some big computer word. 

#stranger things #byler #st4 #bingham house #please tell me im not the only one who fell for those jokes constantly as a kid #whenever someone asks me to spell something i get suspicious #like yes... i can spell it... but Why

[altruistic-meme]

if you could... describe aftg in 5 words

oh this is not as easy a question to answer as it should be akfhsdkf bc like. i could describe its plot, or my thoughts on it as a fan, or how it makes me feel, or just make a joke, or or or and bc idk why you're asking it makes it harder :'))

but let's see...

plot: gay sports mafia found family.

fan: drama, familiarity, trauma, comedy, home

feelings: love, understanding, chaos, joy, comfort

joke: you know, i get it-

(as you can see, i couldn't pick which one to go with, so choose whichever 5 words you want lmao)

#anyway the hard part is cus like. if you're already a fan then you KNOW it's plot #and i would go with either feelings or joke probably #if you aren't a fan you won't understand joke and maybe want the plot to see if you'd want to read it #in which case getting my feelings or thoughts on it could also help you decide #especially bc 'gay sports mafia' is something it has been described as OFTEN #and thus you wouldn't necessarily need ME to tell you that #anywya #i spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME thinking about this so ya know. i do hope you see this kshdfhsd #i know how it can be sending anon asks #especially if you don't follow the person you sent it to like MAN rememebring to check in and then scrolling the blog to find it???? #so sorry i never shut up here #anyway if you ARE someone who hasn't read it yet and are interested; please feel free to reach out to me with any questions!!! #aftg contains a lot of potentially triggering material so it's good to have some understanding of what you're walking into! #(i did not but thankfully i'm not easily triggered by most things lmao but it still is nice to have that warning) #aftg #askers #anon #shh ac #also if you HAVE read it please appreciate my joke. i think im very funny.

[bambiesfics]

Seeing more mutuals sext anons on the dash, like it’s tlou in summer 2023. Tumblr is healing.

I think…I think we’re going to be alright 🍷🚬

#🐻💭 bambies soliloquies #please someone tell me they get the joke #I’ll cry if I’m the only one here obsessed with the ‘girl in movie realizes she’s going to be alright’ trend on tiktok lmaocfkff

[aamezish]

she's talking on a call with her parents about how it was her luck and gods will what got her into this college who's gonna tell her of course no one because you know 🤡🤡

#i can't believe things can get so unfair even in the education system when its literally about someone's career #roommate takes everything so casually she's just the worst person academically i encountered #and i don't have the authority to say who belongs to which place but it really hurt doesn't it #there are kids giving their everything working hard and all praying screaming to get climbed upon my someone #who spent their first year crying about missing home and not studying not even a minute under the name of not being able to adjust #then how did she suddenly adjust now how is she going on group studies now its all a joke to her #and thats why she failed this year yeah it was predictable #there were friends' friends i know who were put out and had to ask how much did she score #well ill tell you A FUCKING 347 in neet #CAN YOU BELIEVE IT #do you think she deserves to come in a medical stream? #and no she's not economically unwell for most i can say she's everything better than me #and god forbid i speak #im not against whatever thenpolitics run around i don't have enough knowledge i don't hate anyone #and im not taking anyone's right out of their platter as if i even have the right #but sometimes i see people like her and it makes me wanna cry #if they aren't at fault neither ae we.right? #but i hope she becomes someone better #does something i hope she turns out a good doctor or whatever she wants #please don't waste this seat

[nostalgia-tblr]

you would think that i, with my Many Experience of writing fanfiction, would have foreseen the obvious trickiness of writing threesome porn where all of them are the same person and two of them have the same name and same pronouns and i have drawn attention to the fact that they look the same as each other but -

#“but why did sylvie change her name?” SHE DID IT TO MAKE THIS TASK EASIER AND I AM APPROPRIATELY GRATEFUL #making the other Loki use they/them did occur to me but plural-they is obviously in heavy use here so am not sure it'd help at all #anyway all-in-all this was a foolish plan but now i have several paragraphs and am thus deeply into Sunk Cost Fallacy land #or given the context perhaps it's a phallusy? #...i'm sorry i'm so sorry #YES OF COURSE THERE'S GOING TO BE A LINE ABOUT THEM COMPARING IDENTICAL DICKS WHY WOULD THERE NOT BE??? #WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU THINK I'D HAVE THE SENSE AND DECENCY TO RESIST THAT VERY OBVIOUS TEMPTATION???? #if i can get past the identification issues (and the logistical ones) this is FERTILE GROUND for both selfcest puns AND dick jokes #the spare loki lives in an AU where he got away from thanos's influence so he stayed in NYC and opened a swingers club #(someone please tell me if 'swingers' means the same in america as this doesn't seem like something i want to ask google) #fic related

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

the green ribbon stays on during sex

#the green ribbon #please tell me someone gets it haha #shitpost #*insert 'so no head' joke here*