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[steviewashere]

If Found, Return to Me

Rating: General CW: Implied Sex (Mild), Mild Panic Attacks Tags: Post Canon, Post Season 4, Established Relationship, Humor and Hijinks, Eddie Munson is a Little Shit, Steve Harrington is a Little Shit, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Panic Attacks, Dork Eddie Munson, Dork Steve Harrington, 3+1

Okay, the idea was going to be a 5+1, but I couldn't get past three ideas without feeling the crawl of burn-out, so I lowered it to three. But this is based on This Post from @apomaro-mellow

👕—————👕 1. He grips the hem of his shirt and tugs. Chin tucked into his neck so that he can read the text, which is bold and black and dark on the white background. ‘If found, return to Steve.’ Eddie groans. “Do we seriously have to wear these?” He whines.

Steve stands in front of him. Hands on his hips. One foot cocked. “Yes, Eddie,” he answers emphatically. Even a little annoyed. Which, sue Eddie for having to ask over and over, but it’s sort of embarrassing. Especially when his boyfriend is wearing a similar shirt that just reads: ‘I’m Steve’. Makes Eddie look sort of childish, if you were to ask him. “If I’m taking you out of town, to a place I’ve never been before for a convention—something I’d probably never even go to—you absolutely have to wear that shirt. Knowing you, you’ll see some action figure stand and I’ll be abandoned by the comic books.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Or, y’know, we can just link arms and walk around the convention center?” Steve only widens his eyes and raises an eyebrow. He groans again. “Okay, fine! We’ll wear these stupid t-shirts.” His head tilts back, eyes to the ceiling of their hotel. Huffs through his nose. “I don’t even know how you got these,” he grumbles, “I’d rather not know.”

Sure, Eddie’s prone to running off. He gets excited, okay? Especially when it’s something he knows a lot about, or something he’s been hunting down for literal years, or if it’s a thing he can surprise the people around him with. Thinking of the last time he wandered off and Steve had to practically scruff him, it’d been while he was purchasing a dice set for Dustin’s birthday. So maybe Steve has a point. And maybe it’s sort of a genius idea. Eddie just wants to be stubborn about this, it’d save him the humiliation.

Except, he’s still wearing the shirt (Steve in his matching one) when they finally get through the doors of the convention center. There’s people in costumes all around them: Spock and Kirk, Marty McFly, Indiana Jones, Predator, and a few kids with their dads all dressed like those ponies that Erica likes. Something in Eddie trills. And he’s already a few steps ahead of Steve before he knows it. Steve trails behind him, wonder and awe shining in his own eyes, trying to keep up with Eddie’s frantic nature.

But then they’re not even close to each other. They buy lunch a couple hours in. Steve gets a large lemonade and downs it like he’s never had something to drink before. And then Eddie’s being told, “Please wait here by the bathrooms. Don’t go do anything stupid.”

He’s leaning against the wall that reads: ‘Restrooms’. Arms intertwined over his chest. Legs crossed on one another. In the distance, his eyes lock onto a Dungeons & Dragons booth. There’s tall shelves stocked with every mini figure he could ever pray for. A few long tables that showcase various maps, dungeon master screens, and little trays for dice. However, there’s an odd rack in the booth. A hat stand. And on it, he spots the perfect thing for Steve. It’s probably expensive, Eddie debates with himself, but it’s Indiana Jones’ hat. His feet are moving before he registers the people walking past him.

And then he’s there. Holding a classic fedora hat between his hands. Turning it around in his hold. Thumbing at the material; marveling at how smooth and buttery soft the fabric is. He spots the price tag, ‘$8.00’. It’s not a terrible price. Isn’t damaged in any way. So he keeps it in his left hand, grabs a paladin mini figure in his right, and purchases both items. Bag in hand, he moves to leave the booth, but is stopped by a gentle hand tapping on his right shoulder.

He turns and is met with a girl. She’s level with his chest, eyes wide and calculating, hand retreating back to her side. “Hi—um—you don’t know me at all, but I found somebody named Steve looking for you,” she states, “I saw your shirt and figured you were the guy he was talking about.”

Eddie slumps. A part of him can’t believe the stupid shirt even worked. “Yeah, it’s probably me that he’s looking for,” he sighs. “Take me to him.”

She’s hard to follow in the crowd of people. Shorter than most and extremely quick. But she links his arm with hers and practically drags him back towards the bathrooms. And there he is, Steve Harrington with his hands on his hips, a furrow to his brow, mouth thin-lined. “Eddie,” Steve greets. He smiles, though it’s not all that sweet, but kind enough for this stranger that had to shepherd Eddie. The girl leaves them. And Steve steps closer to Eddie, crosses his arms over his chest, and then has the gall to snort. He raises a hand and plucks at Eddie’s t-shirt, directly on the word: ‘Found’. “Looks like my stupid t-shirt worked,” he snarks. The sass to this guy is unbelievable.

“Yeah, har har, laugh it up,” Eddie says dryly. “Maybe you don’t want the little gift I got for you.”

Steve perks up. Eyes glowing with curiosity. “What’d you get?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and smirks. Digs into his bag and flaunts the hat. “Saw it at a D&D booth, surprisingly. Probably would’ve been something we walked by, had I not…wandered.” He steps a little closer into Steve’s space, sets the hat on top of his head, and nods in approval. “Think that this purchase was a success. You look dashing, Mr. Jones.”

In a flurry of movement, Steve snatches the hat from off the top of his head. Gaping at it. “Eds,” he breathes, “this is so fucking cool.” He places it back where it was, pulling it tight to his hairline, and grins brightly. “Thank you, but also please don’t leave me alone here,” he says, “I got worried.”

“Sorry,” Eddie murmurs sheepishly. “Just thought about how excited you’d be about the hat and couldn’t resist. Won’t happen again, promise.”

Steve chuckles. “I know it will, but that’s what the stupid shirts are for. Anyway…Can we go look at the Lego set-up that we passed by in hall E? I think I saw a spaceship and—“

“Lead the way, Indy.” He might have to buy his own shirts with how Steve bounds away from him.

——— 2. “If…Lost?!” Eddie exclaims. “Steve, what the fuck? Why—How—Where the hell are you getting these t-shirts?” He asks. They’re at Steve’s house, getting ready for a day trip in Chicago. And, sure, Eddie’s never been in his life. Doesn’t know the streets of Chicago like the back of his hand. Maybe Steve does know more about where they’re going, but that doesn’t change just how ridiculous this shirt is. How it glares at him in the bathroom mirror.

Steve sidles up next to him. His t-shirt the same as the one from the convention. He wraps an arm around Eddie’s waist. Rests his head on his shoulder. “I have my ways,” he states ominously. “And, again, I know you. Your sense of direction is practically non-existent. You can’t deny that, baby. The only reason you found Skull Rock is because you stumbled upon it.”

“I was on the run, couldn’t exactly look at a map,” he grumbles. “But do we have to—“

“Yes,” Steve sighs. “Now, can you come out to the car with me? I’m ready to go.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, but does as he’s asked. Sits in the passenger seat. Shuffles through the radio stations. Teases Steve for his taste in tapes. But then they’re parking, getting out, walking around the city.

He follows Steve…for a while. Into a record shop. In the back of a diner, playing footsie under the table. Then he goes down a side street. Following a guy in a white t-shirt, hair high on his head, Adidas sneakers on his feet. However, the guy turns slightly. And…that’s not Steve. Eddie’s not sure how long he’s been following this stranger, or when he started, or from where he started from. Tries to rake through his brain to the last time he heard Steve talk about the street they were originally on, but there’s nothing. The words and names escape him.

He’s stranded in a city he’s never been to. Down a street he should’ve never come across. Wearing the most humiliating t-shirt known to mankind. Somewhere, again he’s not sure, behind him Steve is probably standing by some shop entrance, hands on his hips and a scowl perfectly framed on his face. And Eddie can’t help but panic. Standing with his back against the nearest wall. Breathing through his mouth like he’s about to beef it on the sidewalk. Eyes darting over and under and left and right. Trying to find semblance of normal, any little speckle of Steve. Something.

It’s not until he’s nearly sick to his stomach, churning and flipping and knotting, that a different stranger makes their presence known. They gently invade his space. Voice soft as they notice his panic. “Hey man, are you Eddie?” They ask. He nods way too quick, but sidelines the blur to his vision because talking to this stranger seems hopeful. Especially since they know his name. “Okay, cool,” the stranger mutters, “I ran into your…friend. Steve was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when I spotted him, said he couldn’t find you, but didn’t know where to look. So I volunteered to find you. And—well—judging by your shirt, I can gladly and safely reunite you guys. If you…If you wanna follow me.”

“Please,” Eddie murmurs, “I don’t know where I am.”

The trip back to Steve is arduous. Through crowds of people and past noisy cars. Bustling shops and the waft of various seasonings from a number of restaurants. But sure enough, Steve is on some precipice. His hair a mess and face pinched nervously. Then, he spots Eddie. Eyes lighting, clearing and glistening. A look of ‘I want to touch, but know I can’t.’

When he sidles up next to Steve after the stranger leaves, he carefully joins their hands. “I followed a complete stranger for probably thirty minutes,” Eddie admits, whispering. “His hair looked similar. And he was also wearing a white t-shirt. I got so scared, Steve.”

“Well, at least our stupid shirts worked again, right?” Steve asks, breathless and still verging breakdown.

Eddie squeezes their hands. “Can we go home, please? This is gonna sound crazy, but I think I prefer middle of nowhere Hawkins. At least I know where everything is.”

Steve nods rapidly. “I need to touch you in ways I can’t right now. Let’s go.” And then he tugs their hands, pulling them along sidewalks and through groups of people, down a couple side streets. It’s partially worth it, in the end. Definitely with the way Eddie’s skin is now decorated with Steve’s love, sticky and warm with it, too.

——— 3. The shirts end up following them to the Indiana State Fair.

Steve stops them at the front entrance, right after the ticket booth, and makes Eddie face him. “Listen to me,” he murmurs, voice low and near demanding. “If I turn my back for a second and you are gone, I will lose my absolute shit. Got it? Do not make me have to keep a rope tied to your belt loop.”

Eddie groans. “I get it, Steve. Can we at least try and enjoy ourselves?”

And they do for the most part. Steve plays at a few game stalls. Eddie carries the prizes. Their legs interlock underneath a picnic table, sharing greasy funnel cake and way too sour lemonade freezes. They watch a few performers, pet some fair animals, judge prized pigs like they know what they’re doing.

But then the ferris wheel comes up and Eddie sees an opportunity already forming. Like dots connecting or the stars aligning. He wants to drag Steve through the line and sit with him in one of the seats, wait for the wheel to stop at just the right height, and kiss him as the lights dim low and the darkness of the sky envelops them. Though, because he always misses a few steps in his plans, he doesn’t tell Steve that they’re going to the ferris wheel. Just starts walking. Shoving past other couples and accidentally sidelining a couple kids. He sneaks around large families. Maybe bribes a few people to let up on the ride’s queue.

Then, Eddie turns to his left. Where Steve is.

Or…Where Steve should have been.

“Shit,” Eddie spits. “Steve?” He calls over his shoulder. Frantically, he whips around in line. Eyes wide over people’s heads. Shoving them out of the way, albeit a little rough. Spreads the line into two little rows. But he comes up unsuccessful.

Until, right on cue, a stranger is tapping on his shoulder. Instead of letting them go into their whole spiel, he just sighs defeated, “Take me to him.”

There are no words exchanged. Not when Eddie follows behind, head bowed to the ground, dragging his feet like a petulant child. And then he stops where he sees Steve’s shoes, the bright blue Adidas sneakers he’d recognize anywhere.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “Thought you were with me.”

Steve just sighs. Something kind of disappointed that shrivels Eddie slightly. “Where’d you even go?” Steve calmly asks.

Eddie finally looks to him, his eyes pleading. “The ferris wheel, but…But! In my defense, I thought you were with me. And I was going to get us a seat on the ride. Was gonna wait until it got up to the highest point and do something cheesy like kiss you…or blow you, whatever. But I—“

“Why didn’t you just ask me, Eds?” Steve laughs with his full body, deep from within his stomach. “We can do that, babe. All you gotta do is ask, y’know?”

“I didn’t think—“

“I know you didn’t,” Steve teases. “Seems like my stupid t-shirt idea worked again. That’s three times, you dork.” Eddie can only groan. He knows that he has a bad habit of wandering, doesn’t mean that the idea is any less annoying or dumb. “Come on, Eds. Stop throwing a fit. Let’s do your thing.”

“You sure?”

“Eddie, if you don’t kiss or blow me on that ferris wheel, I’m banning D&D at my place for a month. Let’s go.”

When they get off and start walking back to the car, Steve tugs on the back of Eddie’s jeans. He yelps, startled, but quickly shuts his mouth when he’s faced with a stern look. “You know what I just remembered?” Steve asks him. There’s mirth in his eyes. Eddie doesn’t trust this at all. “Earlier, when I was telling you about wandering, I mentioned maybe tethering you to a rope. I might have to do that. Since you can’t behave.”

Eddie heats from the inside out. A coil tightens in his stomach. “You couldn’t even if you tried,” he bites back.

Later, he finds out, Steve is exceptional with rope. What a fucking boy scout.

——— +1 The Mall of America didn’t earn its title for nothing. The place was huge, that much Eddie could discern. Which made perfect sense when buying the new and improved: ‘If found, return to…’ shirts. However, this time, it was Steve with ‘If Found’ t-shirt.

At first, Steve didn’t know how to feel about the new shirts. Simply because he didn’t seem to see a reason for why he’d get lost or wander or be found in any capacity. But given the surprise Eddie had for him, the reason definitely fit the bill.

What Steve didn’t know, that Eddie one hundred percent knew, was that a Lego store was opening up at the mall. Or, has been opened at the mall. It was the perfect time for a little road trip. A little Fall of 1992 trip to Minnesota. Driving by trees and such. Parking in the Mall of America’s lot. Figuring out what stores to hit first, what food they wanted to eat, where the bathrooms were located. Typical day out sort of things.

However, one moment Steve was with him and the next…Eddie was scouring the food court for his fiancé. Trying not to throw up the meager lunch he just had. Swallowing down panic after panic after panic that rose in his chest like tsunami waves. This place was too big for either of them to wander or get lost or have a mind of their own. Not with the way they impulsively purchases things, an awful habit they both exuded—today is the worst day to do just that.

Which leads him to tapping on the shoulder of a guy around his age. Who’s carrying two large yellow Lego bags. Just sitting back in one of the food court chairs, minding his own business. Until, he whips around to find Eddie startled and red faced. “Uh…Can I help you, man?” The stranger greets.

“Sorry, hi,” Eddie says. “I just—You look like somebody who can maybe help me. I’m looking for my…friend, his name is Steve. Uh—White, around my height, dirty blonde hair. He’s wearing a pair of near skin tight Levi jeans, light wash and a white t-shirt that matches mine. Except, his says ‘If found, return to Eddie’. I’m Eddie, by the way. Anyway—Uh, you probably just came from the Lego store, yeah?”

“Sure,” the guy says, completely unsure of this interaction. “Why do you need to know—“

“So you can like lead me there? I’ve never been there. And like he’s really obsessed with those damn sets and like that’s really cool or whatever, but I need to know where he is because we’re from out of town and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing in this mall or where to—“

“Alright, dude, calm down,” guy placates. “We’ll find your friend. Just…That store is pretty fucking busy. Really popular, you know? I’ll take you there, but with how panicked you are, it would be best if you waited by the entrance of the store. Is that…”

“That’s perfectly fine to me!” Eddie nearly shouts. 

He follows on this person’s heels. Bobbing and weaving through crowds of other over-consumers. Maybe shoving a few of them out of the way just so he can stay with that guy. But eventually, they make it to the outside of the rather precarious Lego store. Its yellow storefront nauseating to Eddie. Almost—Genuinely frustrating him beyond belief. And he sees Steve. Standing near the back of the store. Staring up at one of the shelves, but he lets the stranger he found grab Steve for him. Because no way in hell is Eddie going to survive being swallowed up by the awfully large crowd swamping the store.

Steve emerges from the crowd, a bit offended and a lot upended. But then has the gall to appear sheepish when he’s led directly to Eddie. With a nod and a tight smile, Eddie waves the stranger off. Almost wants to run back and get his name, send him a thank you card from the Hallmark store he saw on their way there.

He turns to face Steve, though. Leans them into the wall. “Jesus, Steve,” Eddie groans. “Is this what you put up with?”

“Is what—“

“The fucking panic? The—The whirling around and checking in the weird obscure places? Tapping on stranger’s shoulders only to see if they have a single goddamn idea where anything is…ever? Like—“ He sighs. “I thought that I’d never find you, Steve! You could’a at least told me you were going to go somewhere on your own. Maybe give me an idea of where you’re going?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Oh, so now that’s important to you?” He petulantly mutters. “Can’t go off and have fun without being pestered—“

“I’m not pestering, Steve!” Eddie grits. “I’m being concerned! I’m—You scared me,” he admits quietly. “And you ruined my surprise.”

“Ruined?” Steve echoes, confused. “What do you…oh. Oh. I—“ Then, Steve looks down to the floor. Eyes ashamed and arms tight to his body. “I didn’t…I was just excited, I’m sorry. The store was on the directory when we first came in and I like—“ He chuckles a little bit, loosening up. “—I fucking memorized where to go. What path to take. Because I just really wanted to look in there. They’ve got—Eddie, they have this one set in there, it’s a freaking spaceship and it’s called the…The Galactic Meditator or something? I can’t—That doesn’t matter,” he rambles. Takes a deep breath and pushes himself tighter into Eddie’s space. “I’m sorry, baby,” he murmurs, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Eddie gives a single nod. Closes his eyes and staves off the rest of his panic and anger. He’d be a hypocrite if he lashed out right now. He knows that. And, honestly, seeing Steve geek out about toys…of all things…is kind of endearing. Maybe even doing something for Eddie.

He puts on his best smile, something genuine and pulled from within him. “It’s alright,” he whispers. “I—I should’ve known that you were going to come over here.”

“I mean, you did a little bit, right? Had to find somebody that led you here?”

“You got me,” Eddie breathes. “Y’know all my tricks.”

Steve hums beside him. “I’m actually sorry, though, that I ruined the surprise you had in mind. This is a pretty cool thing.”

Eddie smirks. “Steve Harrington admitting to a geek thing being cool…When did the tables turn?” He teases. “Seems like God has heard my prayers,” he jests. With a quick sneaky look around, he grabs Steve’s hand. Squeezes firmly and exhales the last bit of his panicked nerves. “Does my fiancé want to…Oh, I don’t know…Get a Lego set?”

The hand in his tightens with a harsh, unbelieving amount of strength. He almost winces. “Really?” Steve asks, perking up. If he had a tail, it would most definitely be wagging. “Can we actually? I really want that one that I found in there, the uh…Galactic whatever it was called. I’m bad at the names, which is weird because I’ve been building these sets for a while, but I always seem to get the names wrong and I—“ Eddie interrupts with a squeeze to his hand again, a smile bright and plastered to his face. “Sorry,” Steve sheepishly says, “Let’s go in there. I can show you and maybe…you can get one of your own?”

“Lead the way, sweetheart,” Eddie murmurs against Steve’s cheek, leaving a very chaste but all the same kiss there.

The panic was worth it in the end. Because watching Steve in his element, nerd-ing over toys and how to best put them together, really makes Eddie’s chest warm. In a way that tells him he’d put up with wandering all his life, if only to get Steve to smile the way he does when proudly displaying his new spaceship.

👕—————👕

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #3+1 #humor and hijinks #humor #or at least an attempt at humor #mild hurt/comfort

[penvisions]

coffee and candor {one shot}

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Reader

Summary: Frankie picks you up for date number three and he's got it all planned out. Unfortunately, you're a little out of your depth with what he has in mind...

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: insecurities, frankie being excited and adorable gets it's own warning, competence kink, kissing, matching clothing, this is so fluffy and soft, um i think that's it tbh

A/N: while i'm still taking a short break from regular fic updates, this was a commission by the lovely @whocaresstillthelouvre. the prompt was 'nervous frankie x not outdoorsy! reader go on a hike early in their relationship'. i rather like how this turned out! i am still taking commissions even if i'm not working on wips at the moment. anything helps, please check out this post and this post to know more about what's goin' on in my lil corner. no pressure all all lovelies, i know things are tough for everyone! love y'll and hope the day is good to you ♡♡

ao3 link || navigation || main masterlist || ko-fi

Body tingling with anticipation, you wait on for the rumble of a truck engine to round the corner. You were nervous, this is only your third date with the man you had met by chance at a coffee shop. A mix up of to go cups and you found yourself placating a very tired and embarrassed Frankie Morales.

He had picked up your drink by mistake. But if you were honest, it was totally okay that you had to wait an extra few moments to get it remade before you blipped off to work, because it gave you the chance to chat with him and scrawl your phone number onto the cup that was supposed to be yours. His kind smile motivating you to be a little bolder than you normally would.

The truck does indeed rumble around the corner and within minutes you’re sat in the passenger seat with the radio playing low and cruising down the highway.

“So what did you plan for us today? The truck looks suspiciously empty.” You eyed the cooler sitting in the extended cab, lid propped open and empty. Then the simplistic backpack beside it, it was always in the foot space between the two front seats. Frankie had admitted to you that it helped to ground him to know he had essentials within reach at all times, just in case. You hadn’t pushed for more of an explanation, knowing he had faced more than a few situations he felt less than prepared for.

But the rite in the rain notebook with the matching pen he had in his pocket along with his wallet at all times told you he was good at preparing for anything within reason. The situations he faced out of his control had not been shared with you quite yet but you would be content if they weren’t, only wanting for him to tell you if he was comfortable enough to do so.

With pink tinged ears he turns to you with a lopsided smile.

“The pack has everything we need, don’t you worry your pretty little head.”

“Not worried, just curious.” Your tongue peeks out from between your teeth and you see the way his adam’s apple bobs in response. His eyes snap back to the road and you feel a giddy sense of satisfaction at having flustered him a bit. He’d been the perfect gentlemen, his large hands only skimming around your body to lead you through doors, a tentative palm on your thigh as you sit beside him. No kissing, at least not yet. You were hoping today would be the day.

“I figured we would get out of the city a bit, go on a hike. It’s a really short one, only a few miles. Not too bad of an elevation gain, cleared out of poison oak, leads to a view I really think you’ll like. It’s an easy looped hike, so I figured we’d have a bite to eat at the midpoint. I packed up some snacks too, plenty of water. Even got some bugs spray and sunscreen.”

He rambled on, excitement obvious as he detailed the plan for the day, his face lighting up in the most endearing way. He was totally in his element and you….you were not. When you didn’t quip back immediately, he loosened a curled fist from around the steering wheel and reached for your thigh.

“That okay?” He jostled you slightly, worry seeping into his voice.

“Oh, um, y-yes.” You tried to muster up a smile, but it paled in comparison to the one he had only moments ago.

“I knew I should’ve run the idea by you. You don’t seem as excited now,” His bottom lip was taken between his teeth, worrying the skin of it as he regarded your profile. The slight furrow to your brow, the way your hands were wound around the flaps of your open overshirt. You had picked out a tank top and shorts outfit, tossing on casual button up over it, not sure what he had planned initially.

The first date had been coffee: to make up for him stealing yours. He had been nervous, his energy spiking and waning as he admitted he didn’t do this often. Date. Get random phone numbers. Have a lot of free time. He was a dad, to a bouncy and energetic seven-year-old. Nothing to worry about on the baby momma front, she wasn’t a part of the picture. A story you didn’t push on either, just making it as comfortable as possible between you two for him to want to tell you.

The second date had been dinner, with him in an ironed outfit and you in a slinky dress. It had been so much fun, the excitement obvious as you both hoped for another chance to see each other.

And now, the third: a hike.

You did not hike. You didn’t do anything considered outdoorsy if you were being completely honest. You were a lazy, take the day off to look through thrift shops kind of person. A curl up on the couch with a cup of steaming coffee or a cocktail and a book kind of person.

“Hey,” He breathed, soft brown eyes watching the way you had closed up. “It’s okay. We don’t have to, I promise I won’t be mad.”

“You’re so excited, though.” You move a hand to tangle your fingers with is, hand still on your thigh. Your stomach flutters, his skin is calloused and warm.

“I get excited about spending time with you, hermosa. It doesn’t matter what we do.”

“I want to do the hike.” You insist, wanting him to go back to the enthusiastic way he had talked about his plans.

“Please don’t feel like you have-“

“I don’t feel like I have to, Frankie, I want to. Because you want to. Simple.” You squeeze his hand in yours, placating him along with a soft smile.

“Simple.” With a lopsided grin and a press of his lips to your knuckles, the tension eases.

Gravel crunched underneath the tired of the truck as Frankie maneuvers off the secluded highway. Tall trees and various shades of green surround you. You both sat and listened to the clinking of the engine cooling down, taking a moment to breathe in the pine and cedar.

“I, uh, got you something.” He huffed a little as he reached for the back and hauled it into his lap.

“You didn’t have to- oh my gosh!” It was a hat, a baseball cap just like the one atop his head. Dark navy blue, emblazoned with a ‘standard heating oil’ patch. Your stomach fluttered at the implication.

“To help keep the sun off your head and outta your eyes.” He plopped it atop your head, the stiff thing just barely resting over your hair. “We’ll have a lot of tree coverage, but better safe than sorry.”

“We’re matching.” You can’t help the teasing smile that took over your lips, heat blooming in your cheeks as you realized you would look like an official couple to any onlookers. Something you had thought about more and more as Frankie filled your thoughts and messages.

“Yeah, would you look at that.” A dimple in his right cheek had you reaching out to caress it, silently thanking him for his thoughtfulness. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted one like mine, but I’m really glad you like it.”

“I do like it! I like matching with you, Frankie.”

His smile was dazzling as he looked back at you over his shoulder. You perked up a little, not wanting him to see the way it was hard to catch your breath or the falter to your steps as your legs began to ache from the incline. The slight brush of the long grass and reaching limbs full of leaves tickled but you tried your best to ignore it, opting to focus on the broad set of shoulders carrying a backpack.

Another bout of time passed, allowing for sweat to dampen your brow and the small of your back. You had removed your overshirt, tying the long sleeves around your waist. The stray pieces of your hair that had escaped from your hat floated around your face as you puffed out a deep breath.

Frankie seemed to pick up the moderate pace he had been keeping, his boots thudding the ground as he turned to pivot from the path as it began to curve.

“Uh, the trail goes that way.” You pointed over your shoulder, having followed the man’s lead regardless.

“I know, got a map in the pack if it makes you feel better.” He tossed you a reassuring smile, over his own shoulder. His eyes alight underneath his cap.

You were about to respond when he took another step and suddenly the trees fell away from around you, leaving you stood on an overlook. Valley open and wide in front of you, the view took your already short breath away. Frankie looked from the view to gauge your reaction. And he broke out into a wide smile as he saw how much you were taken off guard by the beautiful view.

Removing is pack, he set it down and reached to turn you toward him.

“This last month or so has been so amazing. Getting to know you has been some of the best parts of my life, hermosa. I was worried dating again after so long and not even looking for it would’ve been another lesson learned but everything with you is just so….”

“Simple.” You allowed him to caress his hands over the small of your back, your own reaching for his shoulders. The bills of your matching hats bumped, easy laughter bubbling up from you both.

“Simple.” He agreed, tongue swiping out to wet his plush lips. His eyes flicked down to yours briefly and your heart fluttered as warmth blossomed in your chest. Pressing more into his space, your chest bumped his, giving him the nudge he needed to close the gap even more.

Out on that ridge where you never would’ve trekked to on your own, you shared your first of many kisses with the man who had taken you completely by surprise. His lips soft and pliant against yours, his warmth seeping into you much like the sun on your skin underneath the open sky. You were the one to lick into the seam of his mouth, something he readily allowed you to do. The slid of his tongue on yours like heaven.

Breaking away, Frankie peppered kisses over your face. Lips tasting the salt from your sweat but he didn’t seem to mind one bit. Turning side by side, he kept his hand around your waist and you mimicked him.

Maybe hiking wasn’t so bad.

dividers by the lovely @/cafekitsune

taglist: @tuquoquebrute @sawymredfox @jessthebaker @littlemisspascal

#dev writes #fic: coffee and candor #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #francisco morales #frankie morales #frankie morales one shot #frankie morales fluff #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales fanfic #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales fic #fluff #ao3 link #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #first dates #dating

[kjhbsies]

Chasing Shadows

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Football Player!Ellie x Classy fem!reader

Synopsis: Haunted by past mistakes and paralyzed by the feeling of being vulnerable, Ellie finds herself determined to win you back. Finding it hard to possibly feel a genuine liking to you, what was once just a bet turned into something more. Following you to a summer camp, will you be finally forgive her and open your heart once more?

wordcount: 8, 265 PART I: PART II: PART III

The street was bathed in the soft glows of the street lights, illuminating the face of the person who betrayed you tonight. You shook your head in disappointment, eyes brimming with hot, wet tears from a mixture of sadness and anger.

“Please…” Ellie’s voice quivered, lips trembling as she tried walking towards you. But you immediately retracted, one foot stepping backward, making Ellie stop in her tracks. “Let me explain.” She says in a tone with what you believed was regret. If she can even feel something like that.

“What for?” You spat, face growing scorn. “You won, Ellie! You fucking won the bet. It’s done. You’re the king, again. And I bet you’ll enjoy your throne after you wake up, and I hope you do. I hope every time you try celebrating your victory, you’ll think of the person who only showed you nothing but genuine feelings even though everyone warned her not to do so.” You wiped your tears harshly.

Ellie sighed, trying to keep her tears at bay, not wanting to show what she truly felt inside. Sorrow. Pain. Darkness. “Let me make it up to you, Yn…”

You repeatedly shook your head, “Haven’t you done enough, Ellie?!”

“I want to fix things with you, please!” She begged, wanting to hold both of your hands and kneel in front of you. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t go near you, you wouldn’t let her.

“Was that part of the bet too?”

“No, no!” Ellie blinked rapidly. “I like you…” She admitted, eyes beating loudly. This was the first time she’d ever say it, and it’d almost feel so good vocalizing it in the air if it weren’t for this ugly situation you two were in.

“How do you expect me to believe that?” Your jaw clenched, internally scolding your heart for still fluttering at her words. You turned around, walking away immediately. Your footsteps echo through the pavement, and you can hear Ellie calling out for you.

“Wait!” Ellie called out, voice trembling with emotion that you couldn’t decipher. “Just at least let me drive you home, please!”

Just as was Ellie trying to reach for your arm, you harshly stopped and looked back at her. Meeting her glassy eyes with a pair of angry ones. “Try to follow me, or I’ll never talk to you again!” You shouted before continuing with your tracks.

Ellie felt like her whole world was crumbling in front of her as she walked you away. She felt like her heart was ripping into pieces as she stared at your shaking shoulders, while your hands were wiping away the tears from your eyes.

For once, Ellie felt hopeless.

With each step you take, Ellie can feel her heart shattering into a million pieces, unable to pick them up. The weight of your absence lies upon her shoulder, making it for her difficult to even move a limb.

She watched you call someone else on the phone, crying. You were so close, yet so far from her touch. A sinking feeling washed over her, and a deep realization filled her thoughts: that you are not going to be by her side again. And how can she function when you’re the one who gives her the motivation to wake up every day?

A figure walked out of the car in front of you, approaching you. Ellie watched as the girl gently ran her hands on your hair, trying to soothe your feelings. You wept, however, but she held you gently. Soothing your feelings with words she couldn’t hear.

You walked inside the car, leaving Ellie’s line of vision. The girl you were with looked where Ellie was, finding in her in a pitiful state that Abby couldn’t even tell that this was the same person who ruled the field with such confidence and pride just a few hours ago. The two locked gaze for a minute before Abby decided to walk inside, ignoring the watchful eyes piercing through her back.

As the car left Ellie’s vision, her shoulders dropped. Knees buckling and falling into the ground. She looked down, finally letting the tears that she held on for too long.

And so she cried, for what seemed like forever.

Ellie might have won the game, but her kingdom was nothing but a hollow shell, devoid of warmth and light you brought into her life.

“I knew it was too good to be true.” You overhear Nora in a frustrated tone.

Your brows knit together, forming deep lines on your forehead as you grumble. Your head was aching, and your eyes felt tired and puffy from crying last night. You, however, tried standing up slowly, not having the energy. You opened the door of the guest room, eyes falling on the two figures standing in Abby’s apartment’s kitchen.

“You should not say anything mean to her. She’s in pain.” Abby says in a hushed voice.

“I know but-”

“What are you two doing?” You asked, startling Nora and Abby.

“Just talking,” Nora said, walking up to you.

“Are you okay?” Abby asked, her voice filled with deep concern as she sat you on her couch.

“Yeah, just a little groggy.” You cleared your throat. “What were you talking about?”

Nora and Abby shared looks, the blonde shaking her head, telling her friend not to say something. But the girl only crossed her arms in front of her chest, ignoring Abby’s gaze.

“About last night,” Nora answered.

You looked away, eyes squinting at the blinding light illuminating from the windows. “What about it?”

“I knew she wasn’t good for you. Why don’t you listen to me?” Nora exhaled frustratingly. “I’ve never seen you so devastated, Y/n. It’s deeply concerning.”

“Nora please…” You begged, wanting to drop the topic.

“Why would you think that she wouldn’t do something to you? She’s a deceitful Casanova! I thought you were smart, Y/n.”

“That’s enough!” Abby stood up, lightly pushing Nora away.

Your eyes prickled with tears, looking at her with bitterness across your face. You faced her, standing up abruptly. “Were you happy that you were right? Was that it, Nora?!”

“Hey,” Abby went in the middle, breaking off the starting fight.

“Fuck, yes, I am! I hope you’d fucking listen for me once!”

“Well then, congratulations! Thank you, Nora, for rubbing my mistakes all over my face. I hope it feels so good to be an all-knowing bitch!” You screamed, grabbing your bag at the coffee table and walking out the door fast. You heard Abby going after you, but you ran inside the elevator quickly, ignoring the looks of disgust and concern on the faces of the people beside you as they looked at your state: hair and clothes being a mess, with a tired face, alcohol reeking body, and a pair of bare feet.

“What the actual shit…?” An old man shook his head at you disapprovingly, making you even break down into a fit of tears.

The scented candles you once put on to relax your brains filled your nose, its lavender scent calming your nerves as the steam of hot water streaming down your body, enveloping you in a warm hug. With each droplet falling into every inch of your skin, you wished that it could also wash away the bitterness and resentment that clung to your heart.

Hours had already passed by as you stepped inside the shower, but you remained lost in your thoughts – filling your brain once again with a haze pure of anger and sadness. You tried shaking it off, lightly pulling down your hair as you desperately wanted to forget her stupid face. But your brain couldn’t stop imagining the event last night, how stupidly good she looked, how you stupidly kissed her, and stupidly fell for her antics. Despite everything, you couldn’t stop thinking about how you couldn’t fully hate her.

Your love for her weighed more than what she has done. But still, you couldn’t bring yourself to easily forgive her.

You sighed, plopping down on the bed after the long bath you took, not caring what time or what day was it. Abby got you covered. She texted you once you got to your apartment, saying that you shouldn’t come to the school today and just get some rest. She also apologized for Nora’s behavior and you scoffed at that. She shouldn’t be the one doing that, she’s not at fault. But, oh, well, Nora wouldn’t apologize. It’ll hurt her pride.

You didn’t respond, but Abby texted you once again, saying that Nora made you an excuse letter, saying that you were sick for the day. Abby thought that it was her way of saying I’m sorry, and you just sighed.

She also updated you once she gave it to Mrs. Garcia, catching Ellie’s figure slouched down her chair, head resting on her arms that were laid out on her desk. It’s as if Ellie was in a trance, she says, just staring at the empty chair beside her that was supposed to be your seat. Abby also caught her curious glance at her figure, asking you if she probably recognized her but you couldn’t tell her the exact answer. You were confused, too.

You buried your head in your pillows, staring at the ceiling. You can imagine how pitiful Ellie looks, and for once, you’d offer millions just to hear her thoughts.

Ellie immediately threw herself on the couch in her shared apartment with Dina, feeling the exhaustion penetrating to the very core of her being, leaving her feeling drained and depleted – both mentally and physically. She buried her face in the soft plush of the pillows, sighing heavily. She didn’t tell anyone about what happened between you two, and she very much ignored every single one of her teammates, not wanting to feel like the total sore loser. Especially with Dina who has been telling her not to do this since the day she knew about the bet. Ellie could imagine how she would scold her for hurting you. And maybe she deserves it.

Dina, who was sitting on the floor of the living room, glanced at Ellie while different art materials were sprawled out at the coffee table, including her laptop. “What was that?” She asked, brow-raising up before going back to what she was doing.

“Nothing.” Ellie lied, heart racing at the thought of telling Dina where she went wrong.

“No, not nothing. Stop lying to me and tell me everything.” Her brows knitted, getting frustrated at the hand-made card she was designing. Ellie remained silent, and Dina had to pinch her lightly.

“Ow! Fine!” Ellie sat up, soothing her leg. “Y/n knew about the bet after we kissed.”

Dina stopped cutting the paper and looked at Ellie with pure disbelief, “What?!” She exclaimed, and Ellie only gazed down her lap, fiddling with her fingers, not wanting to see the disappointment on her face. “I knew this wouldn’t go well!”

Ellie sighed once again, “She won’t forgive me.”

“Hell, yeah. You played with her feelings, Els. That’s not fair.” She shook her head repeatedly. “She’s a nice girl, she doesn’t deserve it.”

“I know,” Ellie answers, almost in a whisper. Feeling the guilt consuming her once again. Her chest tightened as if her heart were squeezing, making it difficult to breathe.

Dina sighed, “You must face the consequences of your actions, Ellie. I won’t nag you with all of your shitty decisions in life but I do hope that you’ll reflect on what you’ve done.” Dina looked up at her, meeting her green eyes. “You don’t have to be the same cruel, heartless person everyone believed you to be. Maybe it is hard to admit that you like somebody, and I understand that your feelings might get mixed up and fight with your mind. But that’s what the heart wants, deep inside, that’s what you want, and burying it with the ugly thoughts that you shouldn’t fall in love with someone else because you’re you, wouldn’t do well. Do you understand me?”

Ellie nodded reluctantly.

“Now help me with the invitations and I might give you one.” Dina pats the space beside her, and Ellie can’t help but smile lightly before sitting down on the floor too.

“What’s this for?” She asked, wanting to touch the freshly made one but Dina swatted her hand immediately.

“It’s for this year’s camping trip. It’ll be held next week when the break starts. It’ll be exclusive only to those who attended last year’s camp, and those whom the camp councils will choose who attend. And since I’m this year’s head committee of the arts committee, I am the one in charge of the making of the invitations.” She explained.

“Will Y/n be there?”

Dina sighed, “Yes. She always is.”

“If I help you… can I get an invite?” Ellie looked at her expectantly, eyes widening with a small light of hope flicking around her mind.

“Fine. Only if you’ll be good.”

Ellie almost squealed in glee, immediately gathering the things she would need to make another card. She copied Dina’s work, and with so much skill that it looked better than the one her friend made.

Ellie would do everything she could to make amends, even if it meant making a hundred batches of handmade invitations until midnight.

Ellie couldn’t even lift a limb today, and Dina basically had to pull her away from her bed just so she’d get up. It was an important day, as all of the students who participated and won the university’s national-wide intramurals were going to get recognized in front of everyone. The Rising Phoenixes’ were the highlight of this year, bagging the 6th win of the women’s football team, and will be going to compete internationally.

But Ellie couldn’t handle the humiliation she had been feeling at herself. Sure, her friends didn’t know what happened, and everyone still thinks highly of her, but Ellie couldn’t go in front of the stage knowing that you would be there. Ellie tried calling in sick, but her coach wouldn’t let her not to attend the recognition, knowing that it would be just as important to him as it was to Ellie.

Ellie stood in the middle of the stage, accepting the huge medal that purely recognized her skills and abilities. She tried to get that smug smile on her face, posing for the pictures. And you watched, trying to hide behind the people in front of you, not wanting Ellie to know that you were there. Still silently supporting her even when she did you dirty.

You sighed, excusing yourself as you tried to get away from the swarm of people trying to desperately get in front, admiring the players. Ellie’s heart raced as she craned her neck, her eyes scanning the crowd in search of you. She wanted to get out of this place or else she’ll get suffocated. So she politely excused herself, declining a girl who wanted to get a picture with her.

Ellie needed to find you, to redeem herself after that night, but you seemed like sand — always slipping out of her fingers.

Her breath hitched as she saw a familiar figure, walking through the busy hallway. Ellie’s footsteps rang through the tiled floors as she hurried after you, her heart busting in her chest as longing grew quickly inside her. With each desperate stride to come get you, Ellie silently cursed as you pushed yourself at the swarm of people, making it hard for her to spot you.

“Wait!” She yelled, making other people look her way. “Y/n, please, just listen to me!” She exclaimed, small tears started forming at the corners of her eyes.

Your throat hurts as you pretend not to hear her voice calling out to you. The once hurried walks almost turn into running. You wanted to get away from her. You don’t trust yourself in front of her. You knew that if you were left in a room with Ellie, no matter what she did, she could just tell you that she loves you and you’ll come running back in her arms.

“Please!” Ellie cried out, voice filled with anguish. “I need to talk to you!”

But you remain out of her reach, just always a few steps ahead. Ellie’s heart sank as she realized that you could probably hear her, you just didn’t want to talk to her, you didn’t want to listen to her explanations and apologies.

“Hey, man, that’s alright.” Jesse came beside her, wrapping his hands over her shoulders, gently tugging Ellie away from the crowd.

The girl couldn’t even fight back, she just let Jesse take her wherever he went as her vision blurred, tears started falling down her shirt. Her mind is full of despair. Thoughts of wanting to just catch you, even just for a couple of minutes, and she’ll try to make up for whatever shitty thing she has done to you. But now, as she walked with her head down while a huge medal was sitting around her neck, she felt like a loser more than ever.

Everything after that seemed like a blur. Ellie’s stare was blank as her head rested at Jesse’s car window, just gazing around the scenery with a heavy heart. Ellie vowed to herself not to stop trying. She had to earn your forgiveness, no matter how hard it is.

“I told Dina you were safe with me, and we’re just in our usual hangout place,” Jesse says, sitting at the cold concrete floor of an abandoned beach house. “Luckily, I still have a stock of beers in my car.” Jesse offered her one.

“Thanks, man,” Ellie says, looking at the beach in front of her.

“I’ve never seen you like that before.”

“Yeah, I was surprised as well,” Ellie answered, immediately emptying the first can of beer. She reached out at the box, opening another can.

“Dina told me everything and all I can say was…” Jesse clicked his tongue, lightly shaking his head.

“Yeah, I know, I’m a shitty person.” Ellie nods to herself.

“Nah, I think you’re just a normal person who makes a mistake. I mean, you’re just scared, and I do understand why you did what you did. However, it does not mean that it’s right.”

“Scared?” Ellie scoffed, looking at Jesse.

“What? Did I say something incorrect?” Jesse raised his pointer finger at Ellie’s face.

“Yes, man, I think you’re perfectly wrong,” Ellie answered, raising hers, too.

“Admit it or not, Els, only a cowardly person would do such thing like that,” Jesse says in a serious tone. “Accepting a bet to kiss a girl even if hurting another person’s feelings just to win and for what? Just to make everyone respect you since you’re their captain? Just say it, Ellie. That being a Casanova just shields you from what you truly are because deep inside you’re scared of being vulnerable with someone else.”

Ellie’s jaw clenched, still looking at her friend with knitted brows. She wanted to quip back and say something mean to him, but she knew that Jesse was right.

“You couldn’t fix everything if you can’t even proudly tell that you like Y/n. If you’re going to live yourself trying to hide from everyone about what you truly felt, then you truly won’t change, and Y/n won’t forgive you.”

Ellie sighed, looking down at her lap. Her brain started swirling as she thought about everything. “I guess I just always have to prove myself to everyone. That I can do everything, and no one could hinder that. I’m their captain, and so I should be the one who’s always in control. Not the other way around.” She emptied her second one, immediately opening up the other. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “I stayed away from affection because I was surrounded by people who think that loving someone was a weakness.”

“That’s not true at all.” Jesse defended. “I think being able to freely admit to someone that you love them was a sign of true bravery. Admitting that you were willing to risk everything for them isn’t weak.” Jesse put a hand on Ellie’s shoulder, looking straight into her eyes. “You are not weak.”

Ellie’s face softened, glancing away.

She sighed, how she wished that the ocean could swallow her whole. Maybe the crashing waves could mimic her troubling emotions. Maybe then she wouldn’t feel lost and alone.

The school year had ended, and the warm sun bathed your apartment in a golden glow. The humidity has been high, sucking all of your energy one by one as doing such simple tasks will have you drenched in sweat. So, here you are, lying on your couch, enjoying your freedom as you stare at the movie on the television, your thoughts flying away.

Abby was out for today, having been running errands that her dad specifically asked her to do. She hated it, going from city to city to talk to someone, get some confidential files, and so on. But, knowing her dad, Abby couldn’t do anything but comply. Besides, her overflowing allowance was his only way of shutting her up.

You and Nora were good now. Two days after your fight, she had been texting to talk to you, putting her pride aside. But you knew Abby had to firmly ask her to apologize to you before she did. You understand her concerns, knowing that she’s just an overprotective friend for you. It’s just that she did that in such a bad way, opening some opportunities for a misunderstanding — which you two had just done. However, you already accepted her apology, making her vow not to do it anymore.

And with Ellie, you did not know what to do. It’s been almost two weeks since that night happened, and the wound is still fresh as that day. You blocked her from everything, not wanting her presence to loom over you. But, it’s not effective as you still couldn’t stop thinking of her. You can’t get her out of your head, images of her face come flashing into your mind, haunting you in your dreams. You tried drowning your thoughts, distracting yourself by reading books, watching movies, and putting your headphones on 24/7, but the sounds of her screams and pleads for you came echoing to your ears no matter what, consuming you whole.

You sighed heavily, trying to focus on the scene on the television to escape everything when a sudden knock came on your door. Surprised and skeptical, you made your way to answer it. Abby was coming this afternoon, but you figured out it wasn’t her because she has your apartment keys.

Opening the door, you found Dina standing on your doorstep, offering a warm smile at you.

“Hey!” She greeted. “I hope I’m not interrupting you,” She said sheepishly.

You immediately shook your head, “No, not really. I was just watching a movie. Come inside!” You opened your door widely, and she stepped in. “Do you want anything? It’s hot outside, I’m surprised you can handle the heat.”

“Any cold drink would be fine, and yes, I don’t have a choice but to do this.” Dina chuckled, following you to the kitchen, and sitting at the barstool as she watched you make a juice.

“What for?”

Dina opened her bag, getting an invitation letter for you. Your eyes dropped to the small piece of paper she slid as you offered Dina the drink which she gratefully accepted.

“Oh, I didn’t know it’ll be too soon.” You said, opening the letter.

“Yeah, the council thought it’d be fun to hold a camp a week after the school had ended. Most of the campers liked to travel in May, and so we decided to hold it in April.” Dina sipped at the juice, looking at you. “How are you? I mean,” She sighed. “I know what happened.”

You cleared your throat, inhaling sharply. It had slipped your mind that Dina is Ellie’s best friend, and she knew everything. Humiliation ran through your face, looking away. “It’s embarrassing…” You admitted.

“I know, sweetie.” Dina placed her hand on top of yours. “I knew about the bet, and I was actually about to tell you everything that night but Ellie butted in. I’ve been warning her since the very first time but she’s persistent on doing it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” You shook your head, trying your best not to cry. “It’s mine. I should’ve known better than falling for her.”

“Oh, Y/n…” Dina whispered.

You smiled at her through bloodshot eyes, “I’m gonna be at camp. It’ll be a nice distraction from her.”

Dina hissed, “Actually… Ellie’s gonna be there too.”

Your brows knitted. “What?”

“She figured you’d be there.” Dina sighed heavily. “It’s fine if you won’t accept the invite, okay? I’ll just vouch for you-”

“No, no, no.” You shake your head, not wanting to cause Dina any more trouble. “It’s fine. I can just… ignore her.”

“Are you sure?” Dina asked, hesitantly.

“I’ll accompany her there.” Abby suddenly butted in, her presence making you two in shock. Abby flashed Dina a boyish smile before extending her hand, “I’m Abby Anderson.”

“Oh yeah, I knew your father.” Dina smiled. “I’m Dina.”

You looked at Abby, “What are you saying? Your dad won’t agree.”

“He will. He promised that this was the last time he’d given me a task. I’m a free woman now.” She gestured both of her hands in the air. “So,” Abby looked at Dina. “Could I get an invitation? I’m just gonna keep an eye out for my idol Ellie.”

You and Dina exchanged glances.

The sun dipped low on the horizon as you hopped off the bus, scanning your eyes through the scenery in front of you. Nostalgia hit you as you smelled the fresh breeze of the campsite, a place where you spent every year of your summer. You started smiling to yourself, trying to calm your wild heart as the thought of spending the whole week with Ellie started forming.

A small touch at your back made you flinch, pulling you back to reality as Abby’s tall frame stood over you, blocking the rays of the sun.

“I’ve never been into any campsites. Ever.” Abby says gleefully, being amazed at every single thing from the scenery during the bus ride, and here in the camp.

“That’s because you are very rich and you spend your summers in Greece or whatever,” You said.

Abby looked at you, offended. “I’m not very rich!” She argued.

“Yes you are, sweetie, you grew up having a Lamborghini for your school service.” You placed your hand on her shoulder, nose crinkly as you tried not to smile.

At the distance, far from your consciousness, you didn’t know that Ellie was at one of the picnic tables in the distance, trying to ignore the girls who started sitting beside her and trying to flirt with her as she only looked your way. Her eyes darkened, and her jaw tensed as she followed your figure walking beside your friend, Abby, to your respective shared cabin.

Her fist clenched, the weight of guilt and regret tugging down on her like a suffocating blanket. She had messed up, she knew that, but seeing you smiling and laughing with another girl only served to deepen her sense of shame and loneliness.

The lunch continued at the campsite’s central meeting house, where Joan, gladly thanked every camper for participating in this year’s camp. Dina welcomed you and Abby, gesturing to you where she was seated.

Jesse nodded at you, absolutely devouring the piece of croissant on his table. Where he got that when the buffet wasn’t even started, you didn’t know, nor did not bother to ask. Unfortunately, you and Abby were seated in front of Ellie, who was already looking at you intently. Her eyes screamed with frustration and irritation for no one knows what. Her ringed fingers were clasped together at the table, and you gave her a tight-lipped smile, not wanting to stir any trouble and trying to keep it civil.

You looked at Joan, trying to avoid even glancing at Ellie's face.

She looks so good.

How can she make a simple black shirt that good? And oh, not to mention how her tattoos were fully exposed, whilst her auburn hair was in a half-up bun. You mentally scolded yourself for the fluttering feeling in your stomach, muttering curses under your breath.

Abby leaned into you, whispering in your ear. “What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” You hushed her.

Ellie watched the interaction in front of her. Her heart sank a little as she looked at how close Abby was to you — something that she couldn’t do.

You intently listened to Joan who was explaining the rules of the capture the flag, especially to those young campers who couldn’t help filling the meeting house with anticipation and excited cheers and chatters for their team. You, Abby, Ellie, and Jesse were assigned to Dina’s team, and Ellie couldn’t stop feeling a small light of hope to have an opportunity to talk to you.

The lunch quickly ended, and everyone was given an hour to get their team’s respective shirts at the tent and to make the team leader strategies to win the game.

Abby excused herself to go to the bathroom quickly, and Ellie found herself walking behind you, her heart pounding in her chest as your familiar perfume filled her nose. Her heart warmed with such longing and desperation, but she couldn’t find the right words and the courage to speak up.

You, however, were fully aware of her presence behind you. You spent many times with Ellie that you can even recognize her shadow. You tried calming your beating heart as you carefully watched your steps going inside the tent, knowing that she was just right behind you.

You took an abrupt stop from walking, making Ellie’s chest bump into your back.

“Oh, sorry.” You quickly apologized, feeling embarrassed.

“It’s fine,” Ellie answered softly, scratching the back of her head.

You grabbed the red shirt, indicating the color of your team, and Ellie did so. As she was about to open her mouth to say something, Abby immediately appeared behind your back.

“Dina says we should now go under the large oak tree.” Abby pointed, cutting the potential conversation between you and Ellie, and you did not know whether to feel relieved or sad.

Frustration boiled beneath Ellie’s skin as she clenched her fists, her nails digging through her palms so hard. She could feel getting annoyed at the presence of the newcomer, her madness bubbling through her heart, threatening to spill at any moment. But as Dina gathered her team, she couldn’t do anything about it, and mentally advised herself not to let her emotions get over her.

With a deep breath, Ellie pushed down all of her anger and frustration. She vowed to herself that she would make things right, and no one could stop her from doing so.

Not Natalie.

Not even the gods.

And definitely not Abby.

The soft rustling of the wind against the leaves somehow made you at ease. After the game started, you tried to quickly make your way to the forest, knowing that this area wouldn’t be covered by the game. Not wanting anyone to catch you, you quickly ran away, hiding in the bushes as everyone made their way where each other’s flag was.

Abby, bless her, didn’t even notice that you weren’t by her side since she was overly enthusiastic with the game as she hadn’t even played it before. And so there she was, running and defending herself as she tried to make her way to the opponent’s flag, enjoying every bit of it.

The familiar forest enveloped you in its embrace, providing a small sense of comfort as you sat on one of the tall trees. You sighed, ears perked up to hear the birds singing, knowing that you were not all alone.

The weight of holding the burden of being a plaything fell slumped on your shoulders, dragging you whole. You bit yourself, trying to face the dilemma of forgiving Ellie. If you choose to give her another chance, you’ll betray yourself. But if you choose to ignore her, you’ll betray your heart.

So what would you do?

Lost in your thoughts, you sighed, massaging your temples while your eyes were tightly shut. The ache in your heart was refusing to go, memories of you and Ellie came running down your thoughts. Unbeknownst to you, Ellie had been searching for your presence, her heart was deep with longing and regret.

A soft crackle of the leaves made your train of thoughts stop, abruptly standing. But before you could even lift a limb, Ellie appeared in the woods.

Your eyes widen, wanting to get away from her as soon as possible. And Ellie noticed how you were alarmed by her, a small pang in her heart as she watched you scramble to your feet. Trying, but failing to go away as she was blocking your way.

“Please… I want to talk to you.” Ellie said, almost in a whisper. She maintained to keep her distance, not wanting to scare you into running away.

“For what, Ellie?” You said, dejected. “Wasn’t that enough? Why can’t you leave me alone.”

“I can’t!” She exclaimed, a lump forming in her throat as she tried not to cry. “I like you, Y/n.”

You laughed with no humor. Despite feeling an ache in your chest, your heart beats wildly against it. Tears started streaming down your face, breaking Ellie’s heart into pieces. “And how could I believe that? You lied to me not even once!”

“I’m sorry,” Ellie says, voice trembling. “I’m so so sorry. Please just give me another chance to make things right. I’ll prove to you that I do like you.”

You did not answer. You couldn’t bring your eyes to look at her gaze. You can’t. It’ll break you more than you’ll ever know. Countless of doubts started forming in your mind, not trusting the words coming from her lips. Uncertainty gnawed on your mind, clouding your thoughts and poisoning your judgment.

“I don’t know, Ellie…” You whispered, your gaze is on the floor. “I want to believe you but I just…” You trailed off, shaking your head. “I don’t know if I could trust you again.”

Tears welled in Ellie’s eyes, blurring her line of vision. The huge weight of your words came crashing down on her, breaking every inch of her body. She hoped she could find the energy to run after you, beg for your forgiveness once again. But faced with the reality, Ellie knew she had to respect your decision. She shouldn’t dictate what you should and should not do. Ellie hurt you, and if it was the consequences of her actions that Dina was talking about, then she’ll gladly face it.

She just hoped that you’d still be there when she changed.

Maybe.

Tension was thick as Ellie remained to keep her distance away from you. Realizing that there’s nothing she can do in the meantime, she wanted to give you some space. It’s the least she can do for you, knowing that what she did broke you in many ways she could ever imagine. Ellie’s heart ached as she took a glance at your puffy face, evidence of how shitty she truly was.

The breakfast were held outside the meeting house, a long table were set up by the camp counselors, providing a very-well decorated table and chairs with different sets of vases with colorful flowers. Dina were as busy as ever, but she couldn’t ignore the slump face of Ellie as she was fixing the chairs.

She didn’t comment on that, even when you and Abby decided to sit at the other side of the table, far away from Ellie. She noted how quiet her friend was, fully knowing that something happened last night. Dina has an idea, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask Ellie or you, not wanting to stir any more conflicts.

“You alright?” Dina asked softly while everyone was done with their meal. Grabbing a garbage bag, she started picking up the paper plates, and the disposable cups and plastics.

“Rough day.” Ellie only answered with a rugged voice, helping her friend out.

“Abby,” Dina called, making the blonde girl look at her with raised brows.

“Yeah?” She asked from the distance, and Ellie tried not to furrow her brows, getting annoyed even by the tone of her voice.

“Can you and Ellie get the garbage bags and throw them at the disposal?” Dina kindly asked, making Ellie’s head turn at her harshly.

“What? Why her?” She asked, annoyance evident in her tone and expression.

“No problem!” Abby beamed.

Dina widened her eyes at Ellie, giving her a warning look. The auburn-haired girl muttered curses under her breath, knowing that she couldn’t do anything about it or Dina would kick her out of the camp whenever she wanted to.

You casually went to Dina, offering her a tight-lipped smile as you helped her clean the area that she was cleaning.

“Would they be friends?” Dina asked, glancing at Ellie and Abby’s backs.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Abby idolizes Ellie, I don’t know about her though.”

Dina smiled, falling silent for a minute. “Are you okay?”

“Still living. That’s what matters, right?” You joked.

“What’s on your mind?” Dina asked, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“I…” You shut your eyes, shaking your head. “I don’t know if I could trust her again, you know. She told me she likes me. But I don’t know if I could believe that.”

“You could choose not to, Y/n. You could choose to ignore Ellie if you want. Do you?”

“No,” You whispered. “Funny thing is… I can’t do it. Ignoring her would mean hurting myself more. But forgiving her that fast would mean that I’m weak.”

“No, you’re not.” Dina held both of your hands, squeezing it gently. “Forgiving doesn’t mean you are forgetting or excusing her actions. You can do it slowly, let her gain your trust once again, and see if it will work. I have known Ellie since we were kids, and I can tell you how much she truly regrets what she did to you. Did you know she helped me make the invitations until 2:00 in the morning?”

“Really?” You smiled despite the tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“Yeah, she did. I never saw her that dedicated in my life until you came. Y/n, she likes you. Truly.”

You stared at Dina for too long, nibbling your bottom lip. “Oh yeah?”

“What’s up with you and Y/n?” Abby asked Ellie, tailing her as she dumped the garbage bag forcefully at the pit.

“None of your fucking business.” Ellie glared at her.

“Woah, woah,” Abby said, raising her hands in the air. “What did I do? Why are you pissed?”

“Exist,” Ellie answered sternly. “Listen, dude, why don’t you go away? You already have Y/n, what more could you possibly want from me?”

Abby’s brows furrowed, “I don’t– Oh wait, you think me and Y/n were together? Is that why you’re so mad?”

Ellie muttered a curse under her breath.

“Oh, yes, you did.” Abby giggled but stopped when Ellie shot her a piercing glare. “We’re not together. We’re friends.”

“Friends, huh?” Ellie scoffed.

“Wait– why are you the one who’s getting mad at me? That’s supposed to be the other way around! You hurt my friend, Ellie. And even though I was your super fangirl, nothing about what you did to Y/n was right.”

Ellie stopped in her tracks, almost dropping the garbage bag she was holding. Her jaw clenched as she listened to what the blonde girl was talking about, setting aside her annoyance at her for just a couple of minutes.

“I was the one who pushed her to befriend you. You should be grateful to me,” Abby threw the garbage beside her. “She believed in you, Ellie, just like what she does to everyone. Y/n is a great person and I didn’t know why you just took her for granted.”

Ellie slowly dropped the thing she was holding. She gulped as she made sense of what Abby was saying.

“I know,” Ellie agreed. “I’m a dick. Don’t worry, I’ll stop chasing her for now.”

Abby’s head whipped at Ellie’s direction, “Now when did I say that you should do that?”

“Should I not?” Ellie asked, puzzled.

“No. Just one little push, okay? Just show Y/n that you’re sincere. Can’t you do that?”

“I can,” Ellie nodded, mostly to herself.

“Alright.” Abby smiled, patting her hand on Ellie’s exposed shoulder with the tank top she was wearing. Unbeknownst to the auburn haired girl, Abby smeared dirt on it.

Ellie’s nose flared as she fakes a gag at the smell, “Fuck you, blondie!” She yelled, eliciting a loud laugh from Abby, echoing through the forest-clad area.

The crackling flames over the bonfire perfectly illuminated the different faces of the group who were gathered around it. The adults decided to sneak over to do a spontaneous midnight activity and snacks, bringing different snacks, candies, and even alcohol that they hid from their luggage. Even the camp counselors were around, and some of them came up with the idea to call everyone to come out when the kids were already fast asleep.

You found yourself sitting in front of Ellie, giving you the perfect view of her face, the flickering lights casting a shadow on her face, making her green eyes pop as she watched the dancing flames, seemingly lost in thoughts. She did not even notice that Dina had sat on her left side, along with Jesse who was already opening a bag of chips. She did not even move when a girl you were not familiar with started sitting dangerously close to her, the proximity making your left brow arch slowly. The sad girl elbowed her friend, whispering something in her as she kept glancing at Ellie, a blush creeping on her cheeks.

“Oh, my god, we’re going to grill marshmallows just like what I watched in the movies,” Abby leaned in to whisper at your ear, excitement filling her voice as she clapped lightly.

You were about to say something, when someone yelled to play a game. Clapping his hand to gather everyone’s attention, he started to speak.

“I’m so happy to see old and new faces here in camp. I’m Luke, the vice counselor. A pleasure to meet all of you.” He says. “We’ll go crazy tonight, everyone. Let’s open the booze!”

Everyone yelled in excitement, popping the bottles simultaneously. Everyone started filling the massive container with blocks of ice, different candies, and of course, different mixes of alcohol to create the perfect drink for the night.

“Why don’t we play the game of truth or dare?” The girl beside Ellie suggested, a mischievous glint forming in her eyes as she took a glance at Ellie. The bottle spun, its neck pointing in Ellie’s direction.

“Oh, fun!” Another girl says, an eager smile forming around the corners of her lips. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Ellie answered sternly.

“Boring!” She laughed flirtatiously, making your brows knit. It did not take long for Ellie to notice that your face started growing in pure annoyance, something that she picked up on for being with you for so long. Something inside her stirred, making her sit straight as she tried to ignore your gaze that was boring into hers. Ellie tried to remain looking at the girl who was talking to her, not wanting to lock eyes with you for a moment. “So tell me, Ellie, do you like someone?”

Everyone said “ooh” in unison, waiting expectantly for her answer. Ellie remained silent, her eyes locking with yours for a moment before you looked away, your expression guarded but your heart started beating too fast.

Ellie sighed, taking the hint that you did not want to be involved with her. “Can I just take a drink?” She asks, and everyone laughs, pouring her cup fully.

“Now that’s not boring!” The girl beside her exclaimed, feeling hopeful that she would have a chance on the girl.

You gulped, seemingly puzzled at what you are currently feeling right now. Perhaps, were you disappointed at her answer? Why does a small part of you want for her to express how much she likes you? Even though you made it clear last night that you don’t want her presence near you.

Dina looked at you and she gave you a tight-lipped smile, and you were unsure what that meant.

“Was it just me or did those two girls want to bang Ellie?” Abby asked, looking at them with a curious stare.

“Just shut up, Abs.” You rolled your eyes before taking a huge sip on your cup. The bitterness of the alcohol drew a sharp line on your throat, eliciting a small groan out of you.

The game continued, the dares becoming increasingly daring as the night wore on. But when the bottle’s neck finally landed on the girl sitting beside Ellie, her friend wasted no time in daring her to kiss the person in the group that she found attractive.

With a sly grin, the girl continued to lean towards Ellie. Ellie panicked, taking a glance at you, and was met with a glare from your eyes. She physically recoiled, her tattooed hand pushing her chest to keep her away. Everyone shouted in unison, teasing the girl beside Ellie.

“Don’t do that shit with me,” Ellie glared at her.

“You’re turning me down?!” The girl asked, offended. “Oh, my goodness. No one has ever done that to me! This is so embarrassing. I bet the girl you liked wasn’t even pretty!” She yelled, feeling the tears brimming at the corners of her eyes.

“Actually…” Abby, Jesse, and Dina said in unison.

“This is so ridiculous,” You said, shaking your head as the tension made you feel uncomfortable. You immediately get up, grabbing your cup full of alcohol to take it with you. The crackling sound of the dried leaves filled the air as you walked away, disappearing into a small part of the forest — not far away from the gleaming lights of the camp.

“Y/n?” Ellie asked gently, tailing you.

You stared at her, and part of your brain started swirling as the alcohol slowly consumed you. You leaned into the tree, feeling exhausted at everything as you kept your gaze at her.

“Why didn’t you kiss her?” You asked, challenging her.

“Are you serious?” Ellie laughed sarcastically. “I think I made it clear that you are the only one I like. I still do.”

“Then why didn’t you say it earlier?”

Ellie gulped, “I… don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You nodded, taking her reason as a valid one. “What if… that’s what I truly want? To hear you shout that you… like me.” You said, voice faltering at the last two words.

“You think I can’t do that?” Ellie asked you back. “I like you, Y/n Y/l/n!” She yelled at the top of her lungs, as loud as she could, her words echoing through the silent night, scaring the birds who were resting on their respective nests.

You couldn’t stop smiling at that gesture, so you tried to move your head away from her gaze, hiding your face. Ellie felt a warmth surging in her heart as she took a step forward at you. She lifted your chin, wide green eyes staring at yours.

“Alright, hear me out.” She says, making both of your brows lift as you anticipate what she’ll say next. “I know messed up… big time and I’m ready to earn your forgiveness. So, here’s my proposal…”

You raised a brow, curious to see what Ellie had in mind. The corners of her lips twitched into a playful smile, her eyes glinting with joy as she outlined her plan in her mind. “I propose to dance in front of you.”

“Jesus.” You shut your eyes, laughing at her suggestion. “You might scare the living creatures in here.” You joked.

Ellie danced, however. Making ridiculous moves as she waved her hips, trying to jiggle her butt. You laughed harder as she tried to mimic Michael Jackson’s moonwalk, but failed as she tripped and fell into a pile of leaves.

“Oh god…” You shut your eyes tightly while smiling like an idiot. Even though her moves were not as good, there’s something about it that you find… charming. You sighed, walking nearer to where Ellie was. You offered your hand to help her stand up, and she hesitantly accepted it.

Ellie gently wiped off the leaves and dirt that stuck on her pants before looking at you once again. The moonlight illuminated your face, making her breath hitch as she finally saw you in this proximity. Something that she never thought she would miss. Ellie can finally look at your face and smell your perfume, and her heart warms as she tries not to kiss you right there and then.

“I can’t believe that you thought I was going to fall for that.”

“Well, did it work?”

You smiled before gripping his collar and smashing down your lips with hers. “Yes, captain.”

taglist: @liasxeatt @darkerstarsstuff @amberputh @bready101 @teawithnosugar @elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliewilliamgfooc @machetegirl109 @lazcylies @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @missladyhope @stvrs13 @vqxen @mikellie @villainousbear @daribakugo @elliessweetheart @chxrryvalxntins @lulith05 @anyscz @elliessluutt @lively-blues @gasliightt @tphmnv @sofiaaasblog @shiimer @nobodyykxox @disguisedfangirl @sukolover @elliewilliamsblunt @ellishamae25 @marrycv

#ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader

[tashacee]

You said Warriors found Wild the morning after most of them met in Master Mode. How did that meeting go? Please! The curiosity is killing me!

Master Mode: Meet Wild

Warriors needed a break. He didn’t think it was too much to ask, not really. After all; for the past day he’d done nothing but be the responsible one. When he was thrown into a strange forest in a different world, he’d followed his training and got his bearings. When he ran into the sailor for the first time in four years - the kid looking barely a day older and delighted to see his big brother again, he’d grinned and hugged him back, but had also taken charge of looking out for him.

He thought that he’d shown admirable restraint for not attacking the literal living tree man and was glad of that restraint now because Time, as he was called, seemed to be a bastion of sanity in this bizarre world of fairytale creatures and barnyard animals he was now living in.

Still. It probably was foolish of him to think that he could go and take a whizz in peace. He was a Link, after all, and peace just wasn’t really on the cards for him.

Well, he at least got his business done before anything happened. He had time to spare - he’d asked Time to keep an eye on the other heroes while he was gone and the larger hero had agreed. Well. He’d said something that sounded like “bru-ra-hroom”, but Warriors figured that meant “sure no problem.”

So he figured he had some time. He sighed and closed his eyes as he leaned on a tree, breathing deeply and counting to ten in his head. It was okay. He could do this. It was just another weird ass journey. He could do this.

Behind him came the sound of someone clearing their throat, and then a distinct, low, ‘meow’. Warriors jumped, opening his eyes and turning around, fully expecting to see a cat. Honestly, he probably wouldn’t have been very surprised if it was a cat-hero.

And. Well.

He wasn’t WRONG.

Uhhhh.

The person before him was clearly, in some way at least, related to cats. But he was not by any stretch of the imagination anything like the tabby that lived in the guards barracks back home.

This person was at least seven feet tall, with greenish grey fur dotted with tattoos, long, red hair, a tail, snout, and claws, was covered in scars, and was wearing a sarong.

He was awkwardly waving a hand and looked deeply nervous, shifting from foot to foot where he stood still half hidden behind a tree. One wrong move and warriors was sure he would bolt.

The captain sighed.

“Are you Link?” He asked

The cat man blinked. Meowed. And nodded. He looked even more embarrassed.

Warriors ran a hand through his hair. Welp. This might as well happen. He looked over at the cat man and frowned; there were leaves in his fur and his white sarong was mussed and slightly dirty, as if he had been curled up in the undergrowth.

“Have-“ he cleared his throat. “Have you been out here all night?”

The cat man seemed to shrink even further as he nodded. He gestured to the camp and then to himself, shrugging. Huh. So the big scary cat man had been nervous.

…okay that was fair. Diverse as their group was, there were no other giant cat men and there was no telling how they might have reacted to him. Someone might have even shot him in a panic!

Warriors sighed. The poor guy looked like he hadn’t slept and was clearly nervous, his tail pulled in close as he picked at the skin around his fingers.

“Alright. C’mon, you must be hungry. I can’t promise gourmet cooking, but we have food at least.” He reached out and put a hand on the guy’s arm to guide him back to camp.

The cat man purred softly and then made a gesture - was it a sign? Wars didn’t recognise it but it seemed… vaguely like stirring.

“Are you… you know how to cook?” He hazarded.

The cat man meowed again, apparently pleased as he nodded. Well. That was something!

Warriors smiled. “Well, okay, you can absolutely cook if you want. Let’s get you introduced first, yeah? Okay.”

Wars smiled and led the giant cat man into camp, feeling positively saintly. So much for a break: he’d gone for a whizz and come back with another giant brother to add to the pile!

But, well. Seeing how his new brother - Wild, the sword called him - settled in with the rest of the heroes, how he immediately bonded with time and Twillght, how he gave a grateful rumble to Warriors when he passed over a fresh cooked breakfast - the captain couldn’t really say that he minded the interruption.

After all- what are brothers for if not for keeping him on his toes?

#it me #hero’s aspect au #hero's aspect #my writing #master mode #replies

[gf-seasons-zine]

Time flies in Gravity Falls- especially when you're thinking about the seasons! We are halfway through the contributor application period, which means we have two weeks left before they close!

We have had so many wonderful applications, and would love to have more! So if you've been on the fence about whether to apply, take this as your sign that you should do it! Click on the links below to apply!

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Applications close May 1, which will be here before you know it! For more information, please check out our carrd or our q&a tag on tumblr! And as always, please feel free to ask!

Stay weird!

The GF Seasons Zine Mod Team

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Disclaimer: We are not affiliated with Disney in any way. The zine will be a charity zine with all surplus going to charity- no one will profit from this zine.

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[carooosa]

Craving Temptation Part 3: Sanguine Relief

Part 2: Psychic Ecstacy

Word count: 5.6k Rating: Explicit Pairing: Astarion x AFAB!Tav Warnings: 18+, menstruation, oral AO3 link: Sanguine Relief

Summary: After last night, Astarion finds himself in an interesting predicament with an even more interesting opportunity. He'll do whatever it takes to get you to agree to this idea of his.

A/N: Special thanks to @bloodinwine and @thedreamlessnights for being there to encourage me throughout the whole process. Please go check out their works as they are amazing writers!!

You weren’t the only one who got little rest last night. After he severed the mind link the two of you shared, he was left with the bitter realization that you now knew how worked up he got over you. He purposely showed you the mess he made before he withdrew his tadpole, but you had caught him off guard when you pushed into his mind. You — the person who was so hung up on getting rid of the tadpoles and never using them lest they corrupt everyone’s mind — you broke that personal oath for him. He was lucky that you didn’t harp on him for talking to you through the tadpole in the first place, so he never even thought that you would try to peer into his mind.

The first time you wiggled your way into his brain you saw him devouring a rotten rat. Last night you saw the memory of him fucking his hand like a wild man, your blood dripping from his mouth. Two times now you had seen him at his most vulnerable; you were clearly willing to use whatever you could when it came to getting information. It didn’t help that you had such an effect on him — on his body.

However, it seemed you weren’t the only one with the ability to engulf one’s mind. When he left his tent to clean up the remnants of his pleasure, he caught scent of your arousal, strong and fresh, coming from your tent. He snuck closer, to make sure you were okay , he had convinced himself. The smell was intoxicating, almost as sweet as your blood. That was enough proof on its own to convince him that his plan had worked.

But hells below , the sounds that came from you. The whimpers and grunts, the squelching of your fingers inside you, the soft cries of his name. He had every intention to bust into your tent and take you right there, but no, he needed to be patient. He had waited two centuries to taste blood as divine as yours; he needed to ensure that you came crawling to him.

Of course, he could always ask one of the other companions to allow him a taste, but he was convinced that none of them would fulfill his hunger as much as you did.

It took everything within him to walk away from your tent. He cleaned up in a nearby lake, telling himself over and over that he needed to be patient. This desire was not something he was used to. Anyone who he had ever been with never lived to see morning. He was honestly quite surprised that you got up from your bedroll, never mind the fact that you had actually defended him from the rest of the group when they found out what he was. 

Was that what drove this uncontrollable want to have you? The hunger that he had wasn't contained to just blood; he wanted to devour you in more ways than one. When he returned to his tent, the escape of meditation never came. All he could think about was you. He shifted between thinking of ways to manipulate you, to debating whether or not he should reconnect with your tadpole, to cursing at himself for being so enthralled with you.

Now it was the next day, and you decided that the camp was low on supplies and therefore a scavenge expedition was needed. You clearly need a recovery day after staying up last night , Astarion thought while grinning to himself. He watched you drag your feet along the ground, mindlessly nodding along to whatever Karlach or Gale asked of you. He didn't think you would be this worn down from a night of masturbation, but he assumed that you must have been really pent up. He made a silent note to make sure you never got that depraved of release again, not worrying about the implications that came with that vow.

As an abandoned town comes into view, the party disperses to search for any useful armor and supplies. Astarion keeps a close eye on you, watching as you turn away Karlach when she invites you to look through a building together. 

This was perfect. He didn’t need to figure out a way to get you alone, you were doing all the hard work yourself.

The tiefling sulks away before joining up with Wyll, leaving you all alone as you stumble into a rundown house. He stalks around the side of the building until he comes across the back door. He’s about to enter when a short scoff interrupts him. He turns to see Lae’zel scowling at him before promptly turning on her heels, slicing a bag of rotten potatoes as she walks away.

Astarion has no time to process what just happened when the sound of your discomfort reaches his ears. He quietly pushes through the back door to see you leaning against a burnt table, one hand grabbing your abdomen while sweat drips down the back of your neck. He’s not quite sure what’s wrong, but he knows that he can use this to his advantage. He scans the room and finds a semi-clean rag, silently grabbing it and making his way towards you.

He clears his throat and extends his arms out wide, making a grand gesture as he makes his presence known. “I see you appear to be in pain, my dear. Don’t worry, for your savior is-”

His words catch in his throat as the smell of your blood reaches his nostrils, his mouth involuntarily salivating as he bares his fangs. His mind rushes with excitement – definitely not worry – as he tries to figure out where you’ve been wounded. It’s only when you turn around to face him that he realizes his misunderstanding. Your short temper and drowsiness from earlier weren’t from a lack of sleep due to self-pleasure, but instead from the turmoil of menstruation.

You quickly snatch the rag out from his grasp and use it to cover the front of your pants. “Astarion! Don’t sneak up on me like that,” you say in a hushed tone.

He keeps his eyes locked on yours as he calculates his next move. Every muscle in his body flexes as his mind is muddled with the aroma of your life essence. He needs to calm himself down, as acting too quickly would cause you to push him away. And that’s the last thing he wants. Right now, he wants you – your blood, your allyship, and although he wouldn’t admit it, your ecstasy.

A short huff escapes your mouth, and Astarion almost winces under your glare.

“Are you just going to stand there and gawk at me? I don’t need your sass right now, and if you’re not going to offer help, I don’t need an audience, either.” 

Astarion quickly clears his throat, hoping that it clears his mind as well. “Of course I’m not just going to sit by while you deal with your… predicament. No, my dear, sweet, Tav – I simply was worried about you and wanted to offer my assistance.”

You don’t react to the obvious implication he throws at you and instead order him around. 

Your features soften as you relent. “Fine, but if you’re going to stay you can at least find me something to cover myself with.”

You abruptly turn back towards the table and brace yourself against it, letting out a breathy sigh before turning your head back towards the vampire with an impatient stare.

It takes all the strength in his body to pull away from you and search for some suitable clothes. Within his bloodlust daze he’s able to stumble to a bedroom, his feet carrying him to a wardrobe and his hands mindlessly opening up the dresser as he tries to still his racing thoughts. He would need some type of miracle to be able to convince you to indulge in this newly formed fantasy of his. Astarion’s hand brushes against a cool metal rod and he yanks it without a second thought, jumping back as the floor begins to tremble.

A couple of the floorboards slide beneath a bed, leaving in its wake a staircase. With a graceful leap, Astarion finds himself at the entrance of the stairway. He descends the first few steps to look inside and finds what appears to be a hidden library. Before he goes any further your footsteps alert him to your incoming presence.

“What have you found now,” you ask him in a – quite frankly – rude tone.

Astarion is willing to push back the snide comments in his throat as the smell of your blood surrounds him once more. He shoots you a toothy smirk before reaching out his hand to support you. 

“A miracle.”

He leads you down the stairs with ease, using your lack of dark vision to his advantage. His arms wrap around yours as he guides your steps.

You grasp onto him tightly as you ask again, “What is this, Astarion?”

He leaves you at the base of the stairs in silence, whispering a quick ignis to light up a nearby wall candle.

“This,” he pauses, ripping away a dusty blanket off of a plush armchair, “is a nice, quiet, relaxing secluded library for you to sit in while I search for clothes.”

You stare at him for a second, eyes squinting as you study his face. He doesn’t blame you — how could he? He has a goal that he’s trying to achieve, and he’ll manipulate you in whatever way he can to make sure he achieves it. Whether you decide he’s being genuine or you don’t care enough to object, it doesn’t matter as you sigh and walk towards the chair.

Astarion gives the room a once over, struggling to keep his wit about as the air fills with the intoxicating scent of your blood. His search proves fruitless, but he’s not about to pass up this opportunity. If only he could find a way to get you to stay in this room while also finding you new clothes.

Although, who said it had to be new clothes? There was bound to be at least one water pump in this village, and he could use that water to get out the blood stain on your trousers. You’d then have to wait for them to dry before putting them on again, and that would give him plenty of time to convince you of his idea.

Astarion focuses his gaze back on you, your face twisting in pain. If it weren’t for the intense hunger, and ever so slight lust, he was feeling, he would’ve recognized the ache in his chest as pity, or even worse, concern . 

He clears his throat as he crafts his proposition. “Darling, you know I simply hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t see any sort of extra clothes around, and frankly, I don’t think any fabric would have survived whatever fire tore through this village.”

You interrupt him with a groan but Astarion pushes on. “That doesn’t mean we can’t solve this current problem, however. While we were walking through the houses, I saw a water pump. If you give me your trousers, I can clean them off for you.”

His voice falters as you give him a skeptical look. He thinks for a moment that he should peer into your mind, but Astarion decides against it. Although you seemed more open to the tadpoles, he wasn’t going to risk anything that could mess up this opportunity.

With a dramatic sigh, the vampire motions to leave. “Of course, if you want to walk around in pain and discomfort, by all means–”

“No! I… fine,” you relent. “Just, be quick, okay?”

You order Astarion to turn around as you remove the soiled garment, giving him a meek “okay” to signify that you’re done. When he turns back towards you, you’re sitting back on the chair with that dusty blanket from before draped over your lower body.

“It’s over by the stairs,” you say while avoiding his eyes, your cheeks slightly flushed.

He can’t help the grin that spreads across his face as the plan comes together. He walks past you and picks up your scrunched-up pants, only for your underwear to fall onto the ground below. Astarion gasps, and there’s an involuntary twitch beneath his own underclothes.

“Is everything alright?” you ask, but your voice sounds miles away.

He quickly clears his throat and picks up the fallen garment, not daring to look back at you lest he lose control and consume you right now. “Everything is fine, Tav,” he responds with a slight strain. “Just relax and I’ll be back soon.”

Astarion scales the stairway to the main floor 3 steps at a time. Once he’s back in the bedroom, he looks down at your bloodied clothes as a thought crosses his mind. Would it taste different from the blood he drank from your neck? Surely it would be similar, but given you were the first thinking creature he had drank from, he really had no clue. Perhaps he could tell the difference from smell.

This is just to expand my knowledge, he told himself as he lifted the clothes to his nose. It still smells sickenly sweet, but there was a richness to the scent. His legs slightly buckle beneath him as he takes a deeper breath, inhaling every note of your blood. He nearly turns around and goes back to the library after he catches scent of your arousal, and it takes everything within him to walk out of the house to look for a way to clean your clothes.

He weaves in and out of the remnants of buildings, searching with desperation for some source of water. If he took too long, you would probably talk yourself out of your lust. No, he needed to find a way to clean your clothes.

Just then, a splendid, stupid, thought crosses his mind. He could clean the blood up. It wouldn’t be as good as fresh water, but Astarion was used to dealing with the tools he had.

Lurking in the shadows, he tentatively brings the bunched up clothes to his face. With another deep inhale his head is sent spinning from the delicious scent of you. He takes the underwear in his mouth and begins to suck, eyes fluttering closed as a moan escapes his mouth.

He was right — it does taste richer, fuller, but it still tastes like you. His mind drifts to his first taste of your blood, to the activity he did after, and his cock strains against his trousers. He presses his tongue inside the gusset of your underwear and begins lapping at the dampness. The sweetness of your arousal is faint, but it makes all the difference. His hand finds itself cupped against the outline on his pants and he begins to roll his hips forward.

But of course, all wonderfully good things come to an end. And a certain wizard just had to stumble upon him.

“Astarion, is everything alright? I heard some noises so I thought I’d come check on you,” Gale says, oblivious to what the vampire had just been doing.

Astarion quickly wipes his face before turning around to face the other man. “Yes, Gale, everything is just fine.”

Gale walks over to Astarion before stopping in his tracks, pointing towards the bloodied clothes in Astarion’s hands as he asks, “What’s that?”

Astarion sighs and juts out his hip as he responds. “Well, if you really must know, Tav asked me to clean up some of their garments.”

The wizard readies his quarterstaff as he glances around for danger. “Was there an ambush? Do you need reinforcements?”

Before he can call the others, Astarion berates him. “No, you dolt. It’s just that time for them.”

Astarion waits as the realization slowly falls upon Gale, his eyes widening and his cheeks turning a bright pink. “Oh — um, yes, of course. I see. Ah, uh. Well, if you want, I can cast create water and, um. Help with this… situation .”

After a short pause, Astarion responds. “That would be… welcomed.”

With a wave of his quarterstaff and a quick incantation of aqua pura, a stream of water rains down upon the clothes in Astarion’s hand. Quite the shame, as he had hoped to savor them a bit more.

Gale clears his throat, prompting Astarion to let out a grumble of a thank you.

“Oh, uh, yes, of course, it’s a pleasure to be of aid,” Gale says. “However, I do have one question: what were you doing earlier?”

There was no way in the hells that Astarion would tell anyone, let alone Gale, that he was ravaging your panties. So instead, he adorns the sleaziest grin he can before looking at the wizard.

“Would you really like to know,” he says with hooded eyes.

Gale immediately turns his whole body away from Astarion and takes a few steps away.  “Nope, no, I do not need that information. But, erm, if these clothes are for Tav, do you want me to dry them off, too?”

Without a second thought, Astarion snaps at the wizard and bares his teeth. “ No! ” he snarls, “I didn’t ask for your help, wizard .”

Gale’s eyes sharpen as he turns back towards Astarion, his mouth parting slightly to open before he bows his head and walks away. 

Astarion pays no mind to the wizard’s weird behavior, instead focusing his keen sense of smell on the scent of your blood. In an instant he’s back at the entrance to the stairway, his mouth salivating and his cock twitching as he walks down the stairs. 

When the chair he left you in comes into view, you’re no longer sitting there. He hops down the rest of the stairs two at a time until he spots your silhouette in the corner of his eye. You’re exploring the library, that old blanket wrapped around your waist, enraptured in whatever book is currently in your hands that you didn’t even notice the vampire creep up on you. 

Astarion nabs the book out of your grasp and skims through the lines, immediately grinning as he recognizes the debauchery. Closing the book to inspect the cover, his suspicions are confirmed.

“Naughty, naughty Tav,” he mockingly chides. You try to grab the erotica book from him but he’s too quick. He grasps your flailing hand and spins you around until you’re caged by your own arm, your back pressed up against the bookcase.

“It’s not what it looks like, I was jus-” you try to argue, but Astarion just laughs at your embarrassment.

Of course you would try to hide the fact that you were reading erotica from him. Just last night you confessed that you had never orgasmed before, and now here you are, the very next day, indulging in fantasy. Although, he did have to admit that you at least chose a formidable author.

Astarion focuses his attention on your eyes as he tries to decipher the emotion behind them. Were you scared? He’s about to connect with your tadpole when that sweet smell of your arousal hits his nose again. You weren’t scared, you were excited.

“What’s that on your nose?” you ask.

He wipes at his nose and finds a smidge of your blood on his finger. That damned wizard knew exactly what Astarion was doing and didn’t say anything. He would need to talk to him about that later, but right now he had other pressing matters.

“Did you find anything interesting in this book? Perhaps anything you would like to… experience?” he whispers, trying to rile you up even more.

You strain against his grip but that only fuels his predatory instincts. You are his prey, after all. Nothing more than a reliable source of food. So why was he so turned on right now?

He needed to snap out of whatever it was that he was feeling and focus on convincing you to agree to his proposition. He studies your face, his eyes slowly wandering from your eyebrows to your eyes, past your nose, and finally, landing on your lips. He lets his gaze linger for a few seconds before lifting it back up to meet your eyes, only this time he’s mustered up the most lustful look he can manage – which given the circumstances, wasn’t that difficult.

Astarion tilts his head down so that his nose just barely brushes against yours before saying, “You really are quite the delectable treat, aren’t you, Tav? I haven’t forgotten my offer from last night, and I hope you haven’t either.”

“Astarion, we don’t have time–” you start.

He interrupts you with a shush. “We have to wait for your clothes to dry, don’t we?”

Even without the tadpoles, he knows exactly what you’re thinking. You’re weighing the pros and cons of the situation, trying to think of some excuse as to why this shouldn’t happen. But he can’t let you come up with an excuse. So instead, he softens his eyes and, as quietly as he can, he begs.

“Let me take care of you. Please.”

Your eyes close, and his undead heart drops. You were surely about to blow up at him, and understandably so. He was being a manipulative bastard. A perverted freak who practically devoured your underwear in an alley, only to come rushing back to test his luck with you. He was disgusting.

Maybe Cazador was right, he berates himself. I’ve become an even bigger monster after consuming thinking blood – and I didn’t earn my fill, either. I don’t deserve to be trusted. I don’t deserve to be liked. I don’t deserv-

His thoughts are interrupted as your lips connect with his own and his eyes flutter close.

The kiss is awkward and clunky, and your body is tense underneath Astarion’s. He’s taken aback by your behavior, and he’s unsure what to do next. He knows what to do in situations like these, but for whatever reason, there’s a knot in his throat and a weight in his stomach. He doesn’t want to mess this up – he can’t mess this up.

With the tentativeness of a virgin, he presses his tongue against your lips. You let him in, angling your head and pulling him closer. For someone who apparently had no experience, you seemed to know what you were doing.

Astarion lifts you up and carries you back to the chair. He reaches to untie the blanket around your waist but you stop him.

“Wait!” you say as you put your hands up to push him away.

This was cruel. If you were going to change your mind now, Astarion would go mad.

You look off to the side and ask, “Can you extinguish the candle, please?”

Hells below, you were still embarrassed? Astarion rolls his eyes but quickly gets up and blows out the candle. He didn’t think he would get this far, and he was getting hungrier by the second from the smell of your blood.

With the room dark, he’s able to silently sneak back over to you. He settles down on his knees and unties the knot that’s hiding his meal. You gasp from shock, whether it be from the surprise of him being in front of you or from the chill of the air on your bare skin, he’s not sure. And he doesn’t care, either, as his sense of smell is overwhelmed by the beauty that lay in front of him.

Astarion whispers your name like a prayer as he moves closer to your entrance. He licks up your inner thigh, cleaning up the partly dried blood that stains your skin. You jolt under his touch, enticing him to bite down, but he restrains himself. There’s already enough blood to satisfy him – he doesn’t need to wound you. And hells below if he got this far only to fuck it up by being too eager.

With one of your thighs cleansed of blood, Astarion moves to the other, making quick work of any remnant of your life essence. The smell of you – your blood, your sweat, your arousal, it’s all so mind-numbing. His head spins as he works his way closer to the source of his yearning. He instinctively holds your thighs apart, taking in the divine meal that awaits.

He’ll make you squirm beneath him. Beg for release and then collapse from the pleasure. He’ll make you feel the best that anyone has ever felt, and he’ll guarantee you become addicted to his touch. If Astarion can draw this out, you’ll orgasm at least twice. He wasn’t only dexterous with his fingers, and he plans to show off all the talents he possesses.

As he takes a languid lick across your folds, his mind quiets for a moment.

He needs to go slow, to pleasure you until you're drunk with bliss.

But you gave him a gift, and Astarion can be impatient when it comes to unwrapping.

He should go slow. It would be the gentlemanly thing to do.

But Astarion’s a starved man. Besides, manners were never his strong suit anyways.

He would go slow, if there was any semblance of a civilized man left in him. But when your scarlet ichor graces his tongue and taints his lips, any plan that he may have had is immediately forgotten and instead replaced by the overwhelming need to have you. To devour you.

Like a feral animal, he plunges his tongue inside you. Astarion laps and maneuvers his tongue into every crevice that he can reach, licking up every drop of blood that touches it. His hunger begins to quiet and his senses heighten, allowing him to fully savor the flavors of your blood.

You taste like honey, sweet in his mouth and sticky down his throat. Of course, there’s still that rich bitterness to your blood. It’s still blood, after all, but the way that it mixes with your arousal to create a perfect balance of sweet and bitter only causes him to yearn for more.

He angles his head down to get a deeper reach into your body. There’s some pressure on either side of his head and he swiftly pushes it away, holding open your thighs as he continues to devour you. Astarion’s ears burn from the brief contact your plush skin had against them, but he has no time to worry about that when there’s a meal that needs to be finished.

Being undead has its plus sides, as not needing to breathe has proven to be very beneficial during this endeavor. His whole mouth is practically full with your folds and his nose is rubbing up against your clit, leaving him very little opportunity to inhale.

Growing more and more needy, he starts to suck on your slit, craving for more of your delicious fluids. With the force of a raging barbarian, your legs clamp closed around his head, barely leaving him enough time to move his arms out of the way. You pull him in deeper, using his face to grind on. Your legs begin to spasm and rub against his ears, and Astarion can’t help the guttural groans that come out of his throat.

Finally realizing the strain and the wetness on his own trousers, he struggles to quickly untie his pants. Once his erection is freed from the confines of clothes he begins fervently pumping with his hand. With a clench from your thighs, a sea of blood and cum floods to his mouth.

Astarion flattens his tongue to drink up everything you offer. The very essence of you rushes down his throat as he consumes you. His hips jerk forward and he continues to suck on your tenderness, unaware of the choked sobs coming out of you.

Your fingers thrust into his hair and you yank his head back as you cry out his name. The sight of you disheveled would be more than enough to send him over the edge, but of course, you had to say his name. There was something in the way that you said it, like a prayer that only he could answer— like Astarion was the only being that could alleviate any burden you had.

There’s a warmth in his chest where his undead heart rests, and with a final thrust, he shatters. His cum paints the bottom of the chair you sit atop, and for a second, the world stills. If he could pause time at this exact moment, he would. The bliss he feels is untainted. There’s no worry that you wouldn’t be breathing come morning, no guilt that this pleasure would be the last thing you ever experienced, no fear of punishment from Cazador for indulging in his own needs.

That bliss is short lived though, and the disgust he feels ruins any notion of a happy ending. He was a monster, he is a monster. A husk of a person who was forced to prowl the night for victims. But as he looks up at you, he can’t help but wonder, what if?

Astarion gets up off the ground and fixes himself, silently cursing at himself. He starts to leave up the stairs before you call out to him.

“Wait, where are you going?” you ask while stumbling out of the chair. 

You blindly walk towards him, your hands waving wildly in front of you until you nearly whack him in the face. He manages to stop your hand with his own, but he doesn’t say much as you awkwardly chuckle.

You stare towards Astarion, clearly struggling to see anything in the pitch black. Even still, you wiggle your hand from his grasp and tentatively reach out to touch his face. Everything within his body screams at him to run away, to leave you down in this secluded library, maybe even lock you up so that he can escape without you running after him – but he doesn’t run. Instead, he leans into your touch. Astarion finds himself wanting to be held by you.

It’s not exactly the same as the quiet he felt before, but the peace that he feels is soothing. Although you can’t see right now, he feels like for the first time in centuries, someone sees him.

You break the silence by clearing your throat before asking, “Would you be able to relight the candle, please?”

He obliges, once again lighting up the room with a soft amber glow. When he turns back to you, you practically keel over yourself in laughter. He’s about to make a snide comment before you grab the blanket from the couch and explain.

“I’m sorry,” you say in between giggles, “I just didn’t expect that you would have made such a mess of yourself!”

You reach towards his face with a clean corner of the blanket and begin to scrub at the mess. Your touch is much too rough and he scoffs, snatching the blanket from your hand and gently wiping at his mouth.

You begin to laugh again, and this time Astarion can’t hold back the frustration he feels.

“What is it now?” he snaps.

You calm yourself down and turn away from him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just – you look like a polished and well-mannered man dapping away any crumbs after a fine meal. But your face –” you start before breaking off into more giggles, “ – your face makes you look like anything but someone like that. You look more like a wild animal!”

Those words might’ve hurt him if they were said by anyone else, but when you turn back towards him there’s nothing but affection in your eyes. 

He crumples the blanket up before throwing it off to the side and making his way towards you. “Well, what can I say, darling? I may as well be an animal who’s tasted real food for the first time in my life.”

“Oh stop, you’re just being dramatic,” you say as you plop down on the chair.

Perhaps now would be a good time to bring up Cazador and his restrictions, Astarion contemplates. He quickly shakes away that idea and instead saunters over to you, picking up the book you had earlier that was discarded on the ground amidst all the excitement.

“Dramatic? Why darling, I am nothing of the sort! Now,” he says while opening the book and squeezing himself next to you, “if you want to learn about dramatics, I am happy to educate you with a live reading.”

He can hear the blood rushing to your cheeks, causing Astarion to smirk.

“You chose quite an interesting book, too: ‘Forever in Your Embrace’ by The Dark Urge. You probably don’t even know that this is one of the most renown erotica writers in Faerun,” he scoffs. “Although, between this author and Shadowheart, I’m starting to think there’s an unspoken competition on who can have the most ridiculous name.”

“The Dark Urge isn’t ridiculous,” you quip.

Astarion just laughs and brushes you off. He begins reading the book aloud and the whole time you’re uncharacteristically on edge, but he doesn’t care. You’re clearly trying not to get turned on again, he muses. As you both wait for your clothes to dry, Astarion recites some of the most sickenly sweet romance porn he’s ever read. He glances at your blushed face and once again he can’t help but think.

What if? 

#astarion smut #astarion fic #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #bg3 astarion #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 tav #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #fics #astarion ancunin #bg3 #astarion bg3 #astarion x you #astarion x f!tav #astarion x f!reader #astarion x female tav #astarion x female reader

[olivianyx]

Hey babe, I'm not going for my sad story but I struggled for 2 years ,it's not like success story but Now I have friends, my family I'm feeling good. My others thinks are also perfect. But all I want is to enter void coz I want my perfect dream life so bad , but I have really packed schedule for my school , please tell me something At night I get really tired And slept .

I really want to enter void

OKAY THIS IS FOR EVERYONE TRYING TO (BECOMING AWARE OF) ENTER THE VOID STATE

Heyy! Sorry for the late response 😭😭 school's beating up my ass as well.

Okay, the overrated void community here. So as I always say, void isn't difficult. It's easy as fuck and you always enter it while you fall asleep. Only thing you gotta do is be AWARE in the void.

Well that's where everyone over complicates it. Just become AWARE. Ik it's instant for some people, while some take patience, practice and consistency to enter the void.

Well this applies for the people who take action (action in the sense changing the story they focus on), discipline themselves and do whatever consistently.

And not to the people who know all the info and still choose to complain or procrastinate. Well I don't blame you for being this way, since you're programmed to be this way since childhood, and it's not your fault. But, it's your fault if you know it, and don't program it the way you want it to be.

So I'll be going to give you sone tips that everyone and anyone can use.

TIP NO. 1

SELF CONCEPT

I won't stop mentioning this in my posts. IT'S THE KEY TO MANIFESTING. YOU'RE LITERALLY CHANGING YOURSELF TO SEE THE CHANGE OUTSIDE! I recommend reading @/meraskii posts on Instagram, she explains self concept better than I do, and she's got a challenge you can try it for yourself. I recommend watching these YouTubers

Rita Kaminski

Dylan James

Sammy Ingram

Hyler

Kim Velez

Indigo Detry

Manifesting with Kimberly

Manifest it, finesse it

Electrasoul

They're excellent coaches, you can watch their videos. All of their videos changes your lives!

TIP NO. 2

Read COPY OF ROTTEN'S PRACTICAL GUIDE TO SHIFTING REALITIES

Here's, she explains very well of the infamous FOCUS 10 STATE, which is nothing but MIND AWAKE, BODY ASLEEP state. Try using Monroe's gateway tapes, she's linked it in the guide herself. Follow her instructions. It's really good to use it at the night time especially. But don't use it if you're really tired that you fall asleep when you hit your head at the pillow. Use it when you're more relaxed and not tired.

Use it till you effortlessly enter the focus 10. Again don't ask me 'hOw LoNg Do YoU tHiNk It TaKeS?' Tf?? Like literally, people don't understand the meaning of living in the end??? Like fulfill it this moment and fucking let go. For some people, because of their mindset might get into focus 10 in one listen or one try. Others may get it in a week, in a month, and longer. So have patience. Have some self discipline, and maintain consistency. It's like practicing to play piano. You won't get how to play it in one try, you'll practice it everyday until you get it. The same concept. Get your lazy ass up and go do it. Practice this now, for an eternity of bliss.

Like you know how useful this focus 10 is?? Like you can shift realities, get into the void, manifest whatever the fuck you want and so on. It's literally wonderful.

When you can get into focus 10 effortlessly, you can go to advanced focus 10 tape. There's proper instructions in the guide. Get your lazy complaining ass go through the guide once (compulsorily!) since she's mentioned many things you never know you needed.

After you practice with these gateway tapes, and you're perfectly in a state where you can get that BODY ASLEEP MIND AWAKE state, you're good to enter the void with this state!

TIP NO. 3

Enter the void! And fucking go live your dream life! I wanna see y'alls success stories.

- Olivia 🤍

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

04/18/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys / Bears; LindsCantrell/Ringasunn; Vico Ortiz; Gypsy Taylor; Nathan Foad; OFMD Remaining Billboard; Fan Spotlight: PatchworkPirateBear and Cast Cards; Fuck David Zaslav; Love Notes; Today's Taika/Daily Darby

= Rhysie Darby =

Hey all! As you've probably heard, our beloved Captain will be hosting the Big Bear Week this year! Check out more on Deadline.com Img Src: Rhys' IG Stories

= Linds Cantrell / Ringasunn =

Our lovely crewmate @/ringasunn was given some awesome stills by Lindsey Cantrell our resident ofmd set director, and they were kind enough to share them with all of us! Thanks @/ringasunn! Src: Ringasunn's Twitter

= Gypsy Taylor =

Our favorite costume designer Gypsy shared some unseen pictures of Wee John's socks!! Src: Gypsy's IG

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico giving a shoutout for all the animation they've gotten to do since the lockdown!

Src: Vico's IG

== Nathan Foad ==

More BTS and images of Nathan with Love's Labour's Lost!

Img Src: Nathan's IG

== Our Boys Still Up ==

Thanks @ourflagmeansfanfiction on IG for keeping an eye on our boys on that billboard! Did Max maybe just forget it was there and are still paying for it?

Img Src: Our Flag Means Fanfiction IG

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Patchwork Piratebear =

@saveofmdcrewmates is highlighting our sweet crewmate @patchworkpiratebear! They are a pillar of kindness and are always sharing their artwork and edits to be shared in support of the campaign! Feel free to take a load off and do some coloring! There's lots more on their socials! SaveOFMD Posts: Tumblr, Twitter, IG PatchWorkPirateBear's Socials: Tumblr: @patchworkpiratebear , IG, Twitter

= Cast Cards =

Always happy to see another Cast Card from the lovely @melvisik! Today's is "Mark Prendergast, the court scribe who penned the edict leading to Ed and Stede’s Act of Grace." Img Src: @melvisik Twitter

== Fuck David Zaslav ==

Hey! Looks like there are lots of people pissed at David Zaslav! Sesame Street is going on Strike!

Article Link

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies! This one's late, sorry about that, I fell asleep again. Today I wanted to send a reminder that you get to create your own space. You get to choose who's in your crew, and your safe space ship. If you don't feel comfortable, because someone is making you feel that way, you don't have to interact with them. I know it's hard, I know that I often suffer from justice fatigue (and I want so badly to explain my point of view), but it really is important to give yourself some space from the things in this world that are heavier. It doesn't mean you can't come back to them, or you shouldn't care, but remember to give yourself a break.

Tumblr, Twitter, those places have "safety" measures in place through blocking, ignoring certain words, etc to help with this kind of thing, so if you need a break from discussions or politics, or whatever, please feel free to use them. You deserve some joy and rest too. Tumblr is my happy place personally, I love coming here and seeing all the cool meta, fanart, fics, etc, but there have been times where I've felt like I just can't deal with the heavier stuff. It's okay not to interact with it if it's bothering you. It's okay to block people who are attacking you. It's okay to ask for support with it too. I love that there's a way to block anon asks now (not just turning them off, but you can block them last time I looked).

A lot of our lives we're told that we don't have a lot of control, but one thing about these kinds of spaces is, we do get to have some semblance of control on what we see and who we interact with, and there's no shame in practicing self care.

Anyway lovelies, take care of yourselves, we love you and we want you to be okay <3

Some other little things that helped me today:

TinyBuddhaOfficial IG

Adorable Raccoon Memes IG

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Today's Theme is STAAAAAAAAAAAAAHP, How very dare you look that good.

Gifs courtesy of @kiwistede and @darkinerry

#daily ofmd recap #daily ofmd recaps #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #ofmd #our flag means death #save ofmd #rhys darby #taika waititi #linds cantrell #nathan foad #vico ortiz #gypsy taylor #ofmd bts s2 #ofmd bts

[lonestarbattleship]

April 2, 2024 update from the Battleship Texas Foundation

"Yeehaw everyone!

Battleship Texas back in the water at Gulf Copper Shipyard.

We apologize for the short break we took on getting an update out. Battleship Texas Foundation staff have been adjusting to life with the ship back in the water, taking some time off, and attending events across Texas.

Looking at the ship's foremast.

While it may not look like much work is going on at the ship, we have kept Gulf Copper busy! See our latest update.

It has been just about one month since #battleshiptexas returned to the water. The ship is currently moored at Pier D in Gulf Copper Shipyard, where it will continue to undergo repairs and preparations to become a museum ship once again!

Workers have removed remnants from older museum fixtures that are no longer needed. This is another big step forward in returning the ship to its 1945 appearance.

DECK DRAINAGE REPAIR

We are continuing to repair the ship's upper decks drains and systems to ensure they do not collect water and eliminate standing water. This is being done to the ship's superstructure, aft fire control tower, main mast, and on the decks below.

New drain pipes have been added to the ship's superstructure. This will help eliminate standing water on the ship's upper decks.

AFT FIRE CONTROL RESTORATION

The ship's aft fire control tower is looking great! The mullions for the windows are fitted, floater net baskets added, and more. These repairs and additions will help return the ship to its 1945 appearance.

The ship's aft fire control tower is looking great! The mullions for the windows are fitted, floater net baskets added, and more. These repairs and additions will help return the ship to its 1945 appearance.

New drainage pipes that will help keep standing water out of aft fire control.

Note the floater net baskets that have been added.

RADAR TOP MAST

The radar top mast has been removed from the ship's main mast and will receive structural repairs before being placed back on the ship.

The radar top mast has been removed from the ship's main mast and will receive structural repairs before being placed back on the ship.

The ship's main mast is undergoing repairs.

Holes in the deck on the ship's main mast. These are going to be repaired.

Old and rotten steel deck has been removed while newer steel will replace it.

CAPTAIN'S CABIN MAP

Captiv Creative visited the ship to take some pictures of the restored map painted on a bulkhead in the captain's cabin. These pictures will be used for historical documentation, potential future interactive exhibits, and a new item coming to our direct mail. Keep an eye out!

Captiv Creative photographs the map in the captain's cabin.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

The rebuilt gun director tubs on both sides of the ship's conning tower have had drains installed.

WHAT'S NEXT? - Battleship Texas will remain at Gulf Copper Shipyard for until her new home is ready for her. Additional steel work, removal and replacement of the ship's deck, and superstructure/aft fire control restoration will continue. And painting the topsides!

TOURING? - The Battleship Texas Foundation is working on new touring opportunities before the ship reopens.

REOPENING? - There is a lot to be done before the ship is ready for touring at its new home in Galveston, Texas. Reopening is projected to happen sometime in the later half of 2025.

Come on Texas!

To donate to the preservation and operation of Battleship Texas, please visit: https://battleshiptexas.org/

Support Battleship Texas by making a purchase through the ship's store: https://store. battleshiptexas.org"

Posted on the Battleship Texas Foundation Facebook page: link

#battleship TEXAS #Battleship Texas Foundation #Update #USS TEXAS (BB-35) #USS TEXAS #New York Class #Dreadnought #Battleship #Warship #Ship #Galveston #Texas #repairs #Gulf Copper #Restoration #April #2024 #my post

[tavs-tressym]

Delicious Denial - Chapter Five

(AO3 Link) | Master List

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Pairing: Astarion x Fem!Tav (You)

Word Count: 4900 (approx)

Tags: Fluff, eventual smut, domestic fluff, camp life, slow burn romance, sexual tension (A LOT), masturbation (a bit), voyeurism (a bit).

WARNING: SELF-HARMING BEHAVIOUR (to feed Astarion), knives.

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A reimagining of the game's events if Tav had zero magical or fighting ability. But she's still pretty fucked up. 👍

(Lots of comforting camp life content)

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A/N: PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION, CONTAINS POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING CONTENT, LOVELIES!!! XXX

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Chapter Five - Syrup

This morning’s spread isn’t as luxurious as yesterday’s, but you’re putting in all the effort you can. There’s an art to porridge, simple to make, difficult to maste- Okay, it’s porridge… But it does taste surprisingly good considering the lack of resources. Various chopped fruit and berries that you harvested from nearby bushes adorn the top of each bowl. Each one identical and artistic, aside from Karlach’s portion which is arranged in a smiley face. You think she’d like that. You lay the bowls out for the group to pick up in their own time. Then you clean the knife you used for the fruit and hover your wrist over a cup. The knife rests against your skin and… You hesitate. It’s okay, you take a deep breath and try again… You hesitate. “Guh!” You exclaim, jumping, jogging and huffing on the spot.

Okay Tav. You got this. It’s just a little cut. It’ll only hurt for a moment. Come on. Don’t be a coward. Let’s go in three… Two… One!

… You hesitate…

But you push through! Slicing your skin, dripping the scarlet contents of your wrist into the cup until it is full.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…

You grab a cloth and wrap it around your wrist, pressing hard to stop the bleeding. Holding it away from your new shirt, you promptly replace it with a bandage and sigh. You continue to clean the station as the others emerge from their tents and take their bowls with thanks. Lae’zel doesn’t thank you, but you expected that. Each companion spots the cup of blood, but doesn't say anything. Karlach takes her bowl, thanks you whilst giggling at the design before rushing over to Shadowheart to, no doubt, gossip about the blood-filled cup. Gale is the only one who comments.

“Ah, I see you’ve discovered Astarion’s little secret?” In truth, you’re thankful that someone actually said something so you could explain yourself. You nod, smiling. “I’m just happy he wasn’t skipping meals because he was turned off by my cooking.” You chuckle.

“I hope you found out in a more… Appropriate way than we did.” He searches your neck for any injuries.

You gasp. “He didn’t…?”

“He certainly tried. I woke up to his teeth grazing my neck… But once I sent a mild shock of lightning through him, we seemed to understand each other.” You both laugh.

“Well, he just told me. From a safe distance.” Gale watches you giggle, still smiling.

You look at each other for a little longer than is comfortable before he catches himself. “Oh-er- Thank you for breakfast.” He holds up his bowl and walks over to the rest of the group.

Last but not least, Astarion leaves his tent, he revels in the feeling of sunlight on his pale skin as he stretches. He spots you: cleaning and unaware of his presence. You don’t clean gracefully, but brutally. You wrestle with a particularly stubborn spot on the makeshift counter, eyes wild with determination. His eyebrow raises, grinning at the sight before making his way over to you. His movement stutters when he spots the cup, pleasantly surprised to see it there. The closer he gets, the stronger he can smell it, smell you. Resting one hand on the counter and his weight on one hip, he makes a strong and successful effort to pull his eyes away from his gift and onto you. “For me?” At the sound of his voice, you untuck your lips and un-crinkle your nose, leaving the spot alone to see him for the first time today.

Last night ended a little abruptly. Once you noticed he was staring at your lips, you had turned away. You weren’t willing to give him that much. He didn’t say anything about it, but you could tell he was a little frustrated, mostly confused. You had been flirting all night, so why not? You still don’t know and you aren’t ready to look at that yet. But that didn’t stop you from staying up, worrying about how awkward it would be the next morning.

Your grin matches his before you decide to test the waters. “Oh no, that’s Wyll’s, he’s going through a phase.”

A light giggle escapes Astarion’s lips. “That is a shame, now we’re going to have to fight for it.” You smile, shaking your head.

Good… Back to normal…

“Well, hurry up then. Because you took your sweet time, it’s going cold.” He smirks and takes it in his hand, delighted that he can still feel warmth through the metal. He begins to walk away. “Oh no, no, no. You’re not going anywhere until I know how I taste.” He stops and spins around quickly, his grin somehow even wider. You adjust your position, bending over, elbows resting on the counter, one arm lying flat, the other propping up your head under your chin. You raise an eyebrow. “Go ahead.”

“Who’s the freak now?” He taunts.

“Uhuh, enough talking, more drinking.” You say playfully, gently pushing the bottom of the cup up, towards his face.

His eyes: animalistic, as the scent grows stronger. He chuckles a little before breathing it in, deeply. As he exhales, a groan threatens to escape, but he catches it in his throat when he sees your eager eyes in the corner of his vision. He wouldn’t dare to give you the satisfaction. He presses the rim against his lips and hesitates before taking a sip… Which turns into a gulp… Which turns into a chug... The cup is empty, yet still upside down, his mouth still wide open, his eyes rolling back behind closed lids, desperately trying to yield more from it. He admits defeat as no more drops will fall and stares, downcast, into the emptiness. The memory of your taste still dances on his tongue: rich, nutty, buttery syrup. He wipes his teeth clean with his tongue, savouring every smear of red he can find. “Very eager…” Your voice breaks his hypnosis, he clears his throat and regains some control over his body, ensuring the counter hides his bottom half. You giggle, his efforts of concealment flying under your radar. “I’d say that’s a very good sign... So, full review?” Your cheeks begin to ache from your constant smirking, but there’s no stopping it, his reaction was truly delicious.

He sighs, happily. “That… That was amazing…” You sit up to meet him on his level, arms supporting your upper body. Meeting your eyes with his, he licks his lips.

“Good, I take it you’d like to continue with our arrangement then?” He nods. “In that case, you can expect another cup for dinner.”

“Dinner…” He thinks to himself. “Dinner is so far away…” His gaze passes your face and finds the blood-soaked cloth on the table behind you. Saliva begins to rapidly fill his mouth. Then the bandaged cut on your arm grabs his attention: a spot of red, peaking through the white. If he had it his way, he’d drain you entirely, right here, right now. But that wouldn’t be wise, you’re offering this to him, he needs to play by your rules if he wants to keep his new, continuous food source. And he knows it. Plus, he’d miss your company. You feel the danger under his stare.

“Don’t start getting greedy now. One cup per meal, remember?” He swallows before engaging with you again.

“Of course, not one drop more…” He grins, flirtatiously.

“And what do we say…?” You gesture with your hand, expectantly. You love this. He scoffs but when he realises you aren’t letting up, he sighs dramatically, blowing a curl of his hair into the air. “Ugh… Thank you…” He rolls his eyes, but you can tell his gratitude is genuine. You smile triumphantly and take a bite of your own breakfast before turning around, ready to multitask eating and cleaning. Astarion stands there for a minute, looking at anything but you in order to calm himself down. Once he succeeds, he turns around to find every companion staring at him with very, very wide grins. You just beat him at his own game, and everyone saw it.

“Not. A. Word.” He commands, causing scattered giggles to emerge from the group. He adjusts his shirt and storms off into his tent to get ready for the day.

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Once everyone is finished, it’s once again time for everyone to armour up. You notice Karlach struggling with her straps and walk over, offering a helping hand. “Aw… Thanks soldier…” She seems sad when she sees you.

“Don’t mention it… Are you alright?” You ask as you dodge the hot metal of her armour.

“Me? I’m more worried about you! Last night, I-”

“I know. And it’s okay. Really… Astarion told me about your heart… It must be hard, not to be able to touch people…” Her knitted brows relax and she chuckles softly.

“It’s awful… Maybe I’ll tell you the full, long story sometime soon, but the short version? I was betrayed by someone I cared about… Someone I trusted… I was given to Zariel and I became her personal attack dog. She took my heart and stuck this damned engine in it’s place. I spent a decade trying to escape… But, thanks to this mindflayer bullshit, here I am!”

Zariel, you recognise the name, the Archdevil of Avernus.

You finish the last knot and step back to look her in the eyes. There’s no tears, but a deep sorrow, still.“I’m so, so sorry Karlach, I can’t even imagine…” Her mouth becomes a smile, but her eyes don’t match up. She tuts.

“Hey, come on, I’m here now! I’m free! I might be burning hotter than a furnace but I’m free!” When she speaks the word ‘free’, her eyes finally catch up and her whole face lights up. You sigh, then smile at her.

“How I wish I could hug you…” You look at each other for a moment, unsure of what to do. Then you have an idea as you spot a stuffed toy bear on the floor. You hold it up.

“Ah, Clive, meet Tav. Tav, Clive.” You laugh and squeeze the bear tightly, rocking with him in your arms. Once the ‘energy has been transferred’, you hold him up for Karlach, posing him so his arms are outstretched. Once she realises what you’re suggesting, you swear you see tears filling her eyes but she shuts them quickly as she takes Clive from you. She holds him close, rocking. She sighs and mouths a ‘thank you’ to you. She finds it difficult to pull away from your indirect embrace, but does so anyway, still smiling at the gesture.

She turns her attention to the rest of the group. “Right gang, let’s go smash some skulls!” Her and the rest of your companions gather and head off together. You wave them off, smiling.

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Last night’s party left quite a list of chores for you today. Certainly not the worst mess you’ve ever had to clean, but it’s pushing it. You work through the camp, humming sweet sounding melodies to yourself as you do. The laundry basket quickly fills with wine soaked rags and clothing. You set it aside to gather the empty wine bottles in a neat formation, ready to be washed and reused for potions. Occasionally you stumble into lost trinkets and jewellery you don’t recognise before shrugging and adding them to the camp inventory. Once the camp begins to look somewhat presentable, you turn your attention to the food station, examining the current and limited ingredients.

Tonight’s meal: Butternut squash pie.

You fold the raw pastry, time and time again. Beautiful layers rest and expand with each waiting period. The squash is well seasoned, roasted over the fire. Onions left to caramelise for as long as possible whilst you assemble the well worked pastry in a greased tin. Once the filling is complete, you take the time to cover it with an intricate pattern, strategic holes poking through pastry petals. Braided crust containing the treasures within. A savoury, sweet concoction all wrapped up and adorned with some of your best work, ready to be baked.

Sinking the basket of laundry into your hip, you make your way to the lake. It’s there that you flick through clothing, separating them neatly and guiding them into the water. As you target smears of red on a ruffled, white shirt, you notice a tear. Along the hem, it sags, revealing a hole, surrounded by torn thread. After doing all you can to cleanse it, you hang the shirt to dry in the sun. It makes quick work of it and once you’ve finished the rest of your task, it is dry.

Sitting with your back against a tree, you drape the fabric over your lap, a small, sharp fish bone in hand. You reflect on your lie as you’re faced with the daunting task ahead of you.

Shit. Why did I say I could sew?!

Hesitantly, you pierce the soft material with a mess of knotted, red thread following the fish bone’s path. You weave and knot it further, leaving messy kinks and bulging mistakes. It doesn’t look great. But, you suppose, fashion is hardly the party’s biggest concern. You hold your pitiful attempt at the sunlight to inspect it. It really doesn’t look good. Alas, it will have to do.

Soon after you’ve folded and distributed the fresh laundry to each tent, the midday drop off arrives. This time, it’s Shadowheart, carrying a bulging backpack as though it weighs nothing. You give a welcoming smile that she doesn’t reciprocate. “Here, this is everything so far…” She plonks the pack on the floor, creating a small dust cloud and a loud thunk.

“Thank you, I’ll sort through it in a moment.” You continue, expecting the sound of distancing footsteps, but there are none. You look up again to find her still standing there. She seems awkward, anxious, her hands intertwining and parting. Puzzled, you ask “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

She glances at you. “I…” she begins “I just wanted you to know that I’m… Happy… For you.” The words sound pained, reluctant, a desperate grasp at grace.

“Oh?”

“I saw you earlier, with Karlach.” She pauses. “You’re… A good fit. I think.” You raise an eyebrow as her sour expression becomes clear to you.

She’s jealous.

“Shadowheart, I-” You’re interrupted by a defensive tone.

“Just remember, she has friends. Lots of friends. Understood?” Her inner conflict pushes spite in her threat, making it panicked but firm.

“Shadowheart-”

“I’ll spell it out for you. Hurt her and die by my hand.” She grabs the handle of the mace secured to her hip, just to emphasise the point.

“Shadowheart!” She finally shuts up and lets you speak. “We’re friends. That’s it. Don’t get me wrong, she’s wonderful, but that's just not the nature of our relationship.” There’s a long silence as red slowly creeps onto Shadowheart’s cheeks.

“Oh… I see…” Her embarrassment cannot hide the beginnings of a smile.

“You like her.” You smirk.

“I- What?! I- Don’t be ridiculous!” Her flushed face panics, wide eyed at the accusation.

“You like, like her.”

“I-...” She waits for your cackles to end, unamused. “Alright! Yes, I do…” A deep, sorrowful sigh falls from her mouth.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just… I’m… A cleric of Shar.” She caresses her hand, comforting a small, dark wound. “I have a mission from my cloister and I intend to follow it through, as I have with so many others, but… My devotion leaves little room for… ‘Recreational activities’. Let alone a relationship.” You try to show her your most understanding smile. She seems to soften her edges a little and looks… Sad.

“Well, considering Karlach can’t touch you, I doubt many ‘recreational activities’ would be on the table, anyway.” 

“Oh, I think we could work around it…” She smirks, it seems that she’s thought about the logistics before. You chuckle.

“Surely you have more time now than ever, since being on the road. You could die tomorrow, why not see where it goes for now? What’s the harm?”

She pauses. “Well… I imagine we’ll all split ways once we’re cured, so the distraction shouldn’t linger for much longer than that… Alright, I’ll consider it. I suppose there’s no harm in having a little fun in the midst of all the chaos.” She looks around as you try to hide your smile, so as not to embarrass her. They truly would make an adorable couple.

“And what about you?” She not so subtly segways, moving the attention away from herself.

“What about me?” You almost scoff at the suggestion.

“I’d rather not pretend you haven’t attracted some… Attention. If that’s alright with you?” She says firmly, hand on hip. This time, you do scoff. But not because you don’t believe her, but at the thought of actually committing to any of the potential suitors before you.

“Mmm, yes. I’ve noticed Lae’zel flirting with me too.” A successful attempt to dismiss this topic? Maybe?

“Very funny, but we both know what I mean.” You smirk and shrug. She rolls her eyes. “Fine, I won’t press you.” The smirk turns into a smile, you nod, gratefully. “I should head back, we’ll be back at sundown. See you then.” She disappears down the path, you breathe a sigh before continuing your list of chores.

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It’s getting close to sundown, you cover the pie in the tin and leave it over the fire to bake so that when the group arrives, the smell will find them. Hovering your wrist over the cup feels less daunting this time. You’ve decided to reopen the wound from earlier, as painful as that may be, you don’t want any further scarring on your arm. And so you do just that. The cup is filled and placed on the counter as you hear familiar voices nearing the camp. You watch and wait for them to enter. Astarion arrives first with the rest following distantly behind. He must have rushed ahead. His armour is a deep leather, layered over a black, ruffled undershirt; paired with matching leather pants and extra padding on the knees. It’s lightweight and well fitted to his lean body. There’s blood splattered all over him, adding crimson streaks throughout his otherwise perfectly styled, silver hair. His confident posture suggests that the blood is, thankfully, not his.

Must have been an eventful day…

He looks around and finds you, he grins. You smile and nod your head in greeting. He takes this as an invitation to move closer, trying to ignore the tantalising smell emanating from the cup. “Hello, darling.” He moves behind the counter to get closer to you, resting his elbow on it. You turn to face him, hand on hip.

“Hello, Astarion. Busy day?” You gesture to the state of his apparel.

“Always.” He smirks. The voices grow louder, there are excitable squeals, thumping footsteps and… A bark?

Karlach bursts in with a white-furred, four legged friend following closely behind. She’s holding a bone over her head as the dog jumps at her, playfully. She trips and falls over, giggling as the dog chases the, now flying, bone across the camp and catches it in the air. “Good boy Scratch! Who’s a good boy? Who’s the bestest boy?!” She stands and the mouthwatering smell of dinner fills her nostrils. “Gods…” She turns to you. “Tav! We have a dog! Meet Scratch!” You turn to Astarion with a questioning look.

“Ugh, as you said: ‘Busy day’.” He responds.

“I can see that.” You laugh as the rest of the group enters at a more leisurely pace, the smell of dinner hits them too. Gale practically moans at the scent.

“Tav, you’re putting my humble stew to shame, time and time again.” He says, smiling warmly at you. “Thank you, but you haven’t actually tasted it yet so please try to reduce your expectations for me.” You laugh. You feel Astarion move a little closer whilst you aren’t looking.

“And that is something, I simply cannot wait for. Is it almost ready?” Gale moves towards the pot on the fire.

“Hmm, let me check.” You move past Astarion who watches you leave his side with a slight annoyance at the intrusion on your conversation. You open the pot, allowing the steam to escape before bending over and inspecting the crust with Gale looking over your… ‘Shoulder.’ Well… He’s looking at something… 

Without looking, you reach your hand out behind you. “Could you pass me the-” A rag is placed in your hand before you can finish asking Gale for it. You look back to see Astarion, cup in one hand, towel in the other, standing over you. “Oh, thank you.” You say in slight surprise.

“No, thank you my dear.” He says, tapping his finger on the cup before walking past Gale to sit by the fire. You fold the rag and use it to lift the pot and place it on the counter. You shimmy the pie out and begin slicing it, revealing the glistening, rust coloured interior. You place a slice on each plate and hand them out, receiving the usual thank yous and none thank yous.

Scratch sniffs your legs and sits in your way, waiting patiently. “Uh… Hi, Scratch…” You look at him, awkwardly. His tongue just lolls out of his mouth as he tilts his head in response. “Um… What do you want? What does it want?” You turn to Wyll, hoping he can read this creature’s mind. He chuckles. “I think he’s hungry.”

“Oh…” You scan your brain for the little information you know about dogs. Meat, they eat meat.

“Never had a pet before, Tav?” He asks, amused at your awkwardness in front of a dog, of all things.

“Uh, no. Never seemed like my kind of thing.” You make your way to the food storage, now refilled with bits and bobs from their journey. You take a string of sausages, pull a few off and slowly put them in front of Scratch, yanking your arm away for fear of biting.

Wyll laughs at the sight. “It’s alright Tav, he seems well trained. Look, he’s not even touching it yet.” Scratch whines at the sausages on the floor, awaiting your command.

“Er-Go ahead, Scratch.” You say casually. He doesn’t seem to understand and stays still. You roll your eyes and make a gesture to him, urging him to eat. He pieces it together and pants excitedly before tucking in.

Taking your own plate, you walk back towards the fire and look around to find an empty spot. Each log is big enough for two and most are full. Wyll and Lae’zel are sharing grand battle stories with Lae’zel being not-so-subtle about her attraction to him, making him blush aggressively. Shadowheart and Karlach are deep in conversation, Karlach seems to be unable to take her eyes off of her as she speaks passionately about her love for night orchids. Astarion had tried to sit alone to enjoy his ‘dinner’ in peace, but that didn’t last long as Gale decided to shuffle over and talk his ear off about some theory he had about something or other. As much as you like Gale, even you’re starting to get bored. But, you can’t help but smile as you quietly decide to sit alone, on an empty log to enjoy your pie in the atmosphere of sweet conversations around you. Taking a deep breath, you feel grateful that you get to experience this. That you get to enjoy these peoples’ company. Friends aren't something you’re used to, any friend you had, you had to lose. But not now.

You feel… Safe... Mostly…

Basking in the moment, you look around and notice Astarion stand up and excuse himself, cup still in hand, he enters his tent. Presumably to get away from Gale’s ramblings. Everyone finishes their meal and you gather the plates. You need to wash Astarion’s cup. You set the plates aside and head towards his tent in search of the missing vessel. You begin to call out to him but then you hear something. You swear it was a grunt. Thinking nothing of it, you go to speak again. But stop. This time, you’re sure it was a groan. The whisper of a “Fuck…” followed by quick breaths.

Is he? No way…

There’s a gap in the fabric, candlelight inviting your gaze. You shouldn’t. You know that. But in your mind, you can see what you can’t see, and you have to know if you’re right. Just a passing glance, one moment to confirm your suspicions and that will be all… You lean in…

His back is facing you, one hand encouraging the flow of liquid from the tilted cup. Head tipping back, just far enough for your eyes to gather that his brows are knitted. His right arm seems to be wrapped around something in his lap, his hand peeking out from the left of his waist. You begin to pull away, your vision gaining one more vital piece of information as you do: The rocking of his hips.

You take a deep breath, grinning. You choose a nonchalant approach when you call his name: “Astarion?”

A rapid fumbling can be heard from inside. “Er- Just a minute!” You’re desperately trying to hold back laughter as he pokes his head out, your blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. “Yes?” You follow the stream as it drips from his chin.

“Cup?” You hold your hand out.

“Ah, y-yes, of course. Wait here.” He dips back into his tent and retrieves it.

“Thank you.” You take it and begin to turn away… But you can’t help yourself, this is too good of an opportunity to make him sweat. “Do you need help with anything?”

“Hm? What? N-no. Why?”

“Oh, you just sounded like you were struggling with something.” You look directly into his eyes with a mischievous grin. He coughs and clears his throat, his pale cheeks becoming tinged with the slightest blush. “But, if you’re sure…” You shrug nonchalantly and begin to walk away, stifling further giggles. You turn your attention to him once more, gesturing to your own chin. “Oh, and you have a little something. Right here.” He immediately wipes it away with his hand and squints at you, clearly irritated by your teasing. That doesn’t stop you from snorting with laughter as you make your way to the rest of the dishes.

You start washing the dishes and by the time you're finished, Astarion emerges from his tent, no longer wearing armour and adjusting his shirt. You make eye contact as you remove your apron, let down your hair, shake it out with your hand and sigh at the relief. He definitely isn’t over it, it’s clear in the way confidently saunters over to you, in a desperate attempt to maintain his pride.

Nice try…

“So, how was it?” You ask with the widest of grins.

He scoffs and folds his arms. “Look, I don’t know what you think you heard, but-”

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m just asking how your dinner was.” You wink.

“Of course you are.” He rolls his eyes, then smirks at you. You take two cups from behind you and fill them with wine. “I’m sorry for teasing. Peace offering?” You hold a cup out for him. He grazes your hand as he takes it from you, without hesitation.

“I accept. But, surely you can do better than this, darling.” He flashes his eyes at you, grinning, anticipating your next move.

“Hmm, how about this? Oh, my lord! I beg your forgiveness!” You twirl dramatically, feigning devotion. “Tell me, your majesty, is there anything a lowly subject such as myself can do to earn your mercy?” You take his hand and kneel before him.

He laughs at the display. “I could get used to this.” He takes a sip of his wine. “Fine, I forgive you. Get up.”

“Oh thank you, sweet, merciful lord!” You plant several tiny kisses on his cold knuckles. He doesn’t stop you, enjoying your warmth on his skin.

He chuckles and helps you up. You use your free hand to brace yourself on his chest, regaining your balance. Looking up at him, he smiles, warmly, at you. You smile back. As you remove your hand and pull away to sip your wine, you realise it’s wet. You look at your crimson coated palm, then his bloody shirt. “Um… Ew.” You wipe it on his sleeve. “Do I even want to know where all this came from?”

He raises an eyebrow at your squeamish display, grinning. “I’ll tell you if you come and sit with me.” He gestures towards the lake and as you turn to see it, he moves closer to your ear and whispers: “It’s quite the story.” His breath tickles and sends a shiver down your spine.

You clear your throat and find the wine bottle with your free hand. “Well, in that case…” You wink and begin to head to the lake. Astarion follows closely behind, shooting a smug smirk towards Gale, who was watching the entire interaction from the corner of his eye.

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Previous Chapter

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[heloflor]

Something random I find interesting about Bowser is how his “modern” personality was actually there very early on, but it took forever for it to become a thing in the games.

(Tl;Dr is basically the last paragraph)

Like, when the first Super Mario Bros came out, Bowser was shown as a conqueror, destroying the Mushroom Kingdom and turning its inhabitant into blocks just because he could, only kidnapping Peach because she had magic that could counter his. All in all, he was nothing more than a monster.

But then one year later came the 1986 anime movie “The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach”, and for this movie, Bowser was completely revamped. Suddenly he became a hopeless romantic who kidnaps Peach to marry her, tries to comfort her at two instances which shows some level of being genuine in his feelings, and is a bit of a dumbass at times. It’s actually pretty funny to see the contrast between Bowser in this movie having done terrible actions (which we see through Mario and Luigi’s quest) but then when the focus is on him, he’s kind of adorable actually. Also there’s that post credit scene with him working where the brothers used to early on that shows him as nice.

And the funny thing is, that new side of Bowser that this anime brought actually stuck around…in everything except the games. In the following games (Mario Bros 2 Lost Levels, 3 and Mario World), Bowser is still the same monster who’s destroying things and kidnapping Peach for the heck of it. But outside of the games, we see that softer/goofier side of him shine. Or at the very least, in instances where he’s still pretty horrible/doesn't show that softer side, his motivation remains to marry Peach instead of going back to him wanting power first and foremost. And even then his defeats have some comedy to it.

It’s especially visible with Mario World and how, while the game doesn’t expand on him, there’s an interactive anime where he mentions wanting to marry Peach, and the Manga Super Mario Kun version of this game shows him to be a lot like in the 1986 movie, at least in his first appearance (I only found the first few chapters of this comic translated in english so I don’t know how he acts past that scene where he gives Peach an oversized ring; wouldn’t recommend those mangas btw, unless you like absurd humor with a plot that goes nowhere and wastes your time on stupid stuff). Same for the “Super Mario Adventures” comic where’s he’s yet again both a softie and a moron.

And outside of Mario World, there’s also a commercial for the very first Super Mario Bros with Bowser giving Mario flowers with no evil intention to it, or those three very badly made retelling of stories with Mario characters, two of which have Bowser wanting to marry Peach (for those wondering how the hell did I know about this compilation, I found a reaction to the 86 anime and the channel also had a reaction to those, so it was through sheer luck ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).

So overall, Bowser being more comedic and endearing through being an idiot + having romantic feelings had been a thing since pretty much the beginning, Nintendo just took a while to put it into the games. And even then, from my understanding, the first show of Bowser’s softer side was in the RPGs, with Super Mario RPG having him as part of the team and Paper Mario 64 apparently being the first time his crush on Peach was put into a game (for context I know very little of both of these games so I don’t know exactly how they portray Bowser, I just know RPG has a crying sprite + he’s a team member and Paper has him crushing on Peach). So it basically took a good decade for it to become his game personality.

(Note that him becoming a playable character as early as the first Mario Kart and remaining playable in most sport games could also be a sign of Nintendo wanting him to be seen as less threatening, but those games don’t exactly have a story to truly showcase it so I wouldn’t exactly take them into account)

As for the mainline games, we had to wait even longer to see that side of him, up until Super Mario Sunshine in the early 2000s. And funnily enough, Nintendo has ever since been much more open about taking Bowser a lot less seriously in mainline games (Mario Galaxy ends with the group waking up at Peach’s castle and Bowser seems rather chill in that moment, New Bros Wii and U have funny cutscenes at the end, same for 3D Land, New Bros 2, his losing animation on his car + him in the credits in 3D World, and Mario Odyssey also ends on a comedic note for him).

And since I’m talking Sunshine which showcases his softer side through his kid, that’s also a good show of how long it took for him to be like that in the games. Bowser had been a father since Super Mario Bros 3 with the introduction of the Koopalings, yet neither this game nor Mario World show the kids interacting with their dad. We had to wait until New Bros Wii for that to happen in a mainline game (the ending cutscene). And while I wasn’t born back in the 90s so I can’t fully back up this claim, from what I’ve seen Bowser in general mainly interacted with the Koopalings outside of the games, like with the Adventures comic (tho even then it’s minimal) and the US cartoons which focus on him as a dad.

So yeah, all-in-all, I find it interesting how Nintendo had clearly always seen Bowser as more of a comedic character, mostly through being a hopeless romantic and a dumbass with a soft edge despite his horrible actions, but for the longest time they put this wish to the side. It wasn’t until the RPGs that this side of Bowser came out, and it took even longer for it to become a thing in the mainline games. And while of course this makes sense given Nintendo is known for not having stories in Mario games, meaning there’s no point in making Bowser anything more than the bad guy, it’s still funny how, the second they gave Bowser that comedic edge in one mainline game, it was the push they needed to run with it and never look back. As a result, nowadays, even in the instances where Bowser is at his most dangerous/intimidating like Galaxy, Bowser’s Fury or the 2023 Movie, there’s always still at least one moment where he’s not taken that seriously.

(Last second addition : I guess it is worth pointing out how Bowser being less threatening started with his romantic feelings, with his role as a father not being that important; but nowadays it's sort of the opposite with him being a parent first and foremost while his feelings for Peach, though still very much core to his character, take a bit of a backseat at times, or at least him having Junior and parenting him is brought up more often than his desire to be with Peach)

#Super Mario #Bowser #King Koopa #Flor talks #long post #not as long as other ramblings but it takes a good 3 scrolls to go through so I'm putting it under read more #for those asking why I'm linking some things and not others; it's because of how obscure the ones I'm linking are #meaning not everyone knows about it and might be curious but not know where to find it #also guys PLEASE watch the 3 terribly animated shorts(?) ; they're SO bad it's hilarious ! #btw this post was 100% made due to seeing some people talking about how Bowser mellowed out as time went on #or seen some say Bowser liking Peach wasn't a thing until Paper Mario #he's actually always been like this guys; it just took a while to see it in games #then again I'll take any excuse to ramble anyways #and I do find it very interesting how it took one little year for Bowser to be like that; and two more small years before he became a dad #idk the fact that Nintendo wanted to soften him up this early into the character's existence is just interesting to me #and it's interesting how for a long time they didn't fully commit to it; but once the door was open they went full into it

[unproduciblesmackdown]

sources of good men wanted clips

^ a reel from the choreographer, good men wanted at 1:45

^ new york stage and film video with clips at 2:14 (dancing) and 8:18 (curtain call)

#good men wanted #asia kate dillon #going ''What The'' every time at recognizing theatre people. so like a half dozen in my case b/c i still don't know anyone #going through the powerhouse theater instagram was like double take kristolyn lloyd?? double take daniel ''billions'' breaker?? #if i knew he was in hamilton ever that was really in one ear out the other i guess lol. pic of george salazar cropping up in vids like hey #However i would like for whatever nysaf vimeo post that was linked on the director's site's page for good men wanted to be made available.. #given that it's still embedded on her site but Unavailable. please. why #also naturally each of these clips was compiled in that separate video post. just putting this here for reference / alternatively too. jsyk #Vimeo

[disteal]

So I haven’t talked about this on main before, but the situation in South Gaza has gotten so horrifying that I’m p much throwing caution to the wind to desperately plead for eyes on this. I’m raising awareness about stories from activists in Gaza right now, including one of our own.

My lovely, wonderful friend Swin (aka tumblr user @combaticon) was deployed as a volunteer medic to a Gaza hospital on the 9th.

When the bloodshed started, she heard they needed extra hands in Gaza, she spoke Arabic and had the training, and she went.

I’ve been in contact with her throughout. She’s so incredibly brave it takes my breath away. My heart bleeds for these children she’s taking care of and how resilient they are is… astonishing.

Swin and these poor people have been under siege for so long, and they’re in desperate need of critical supplies. They have to filter water through their clothes, and it’s getting dangerously cold. Foods finally been getting through, but there’s not enough blankets and jackets to go around and there’s no fuel for the generators.

Their comrades in the West Bank have been completely pushed out by settler thugs. It’s incredibly unsafe to even be doing humanitarian work for Palestinians. Remember this the next time a Zionist tells you they’re doing this to ‘feel safe’. The IOF is arming lynch mobs.

On a personal note, this has been the most gut-wrenching week of my life. Every day when I wake up without a text from her I feel so much fear. I fight back the grief but I don’t know how to help or what to do. It’s terrifying.

Swin has asked for nothing, absolutely nothing other than something it can show the people around it to make them feel like they’re not going to be abandoned. To make sure they’re not forgotten in some pit praying Rafah opens before Israel decides to slaughter them all.

Today was a bad day. She’s alive but beyond worrying about her privacy now; she’s asked me to share this and to beg that we not lose steam and forget about them. Please share this, and please keep being fucking annoying and loud and digging your heels in with fury because we cannot let these people die silently.

[Times of Gaza] [QUD network] [Eye on Palestine]

[link to GCC registration website as the link in this picture is broken]

Please keep in mind that the Global Conscience Convoy is NOT soliciting donations, and registration is to sign up for attendance to the actual event in Cairo. There’s a list of other actions you can do to boost awareness for their protest at Rafah on the website.

#palestine #world news #gaza strip #israel #dis.txt #long post #psa #important #i just want her to come home man #i’m so so so so proud of her

[needlekind]

filterable picrew database!

original post updated march 7 2024

hey pals!! i'm working on a filterable, tagged collection of picrew i like. right now there's over 100 picrew (and other such makers such as those from neka or meiker) in there with tags for things like fashion, hair options, skin colors, specific features like horns or headscarves, and body types. you can search for multiple tags at a time and filter out tags you don't want. the whole thing is organized in a big grid of sample results from the picrew in question, so you can see the style at a glance and click it for more images and the url, but you can change the view and organization system however you like.

the link is here!!! feel free to share this wherever. i'm still going through my folders and adding more makers, so expect lots of updates real soon.

i'm hoping this makes it easier for people to find picrew that suit them and their characters, especially in cases where it's unfortunately harder to find certain features like dark skin options and fat bodies.

really important notes:

i do not take requests for additional tags. sorry!! please understand that every time i want to use a new tag, i have to manually go into every maker in the entire backlog and check to see if they have it. it's a pain! it takes a while! there's only one of me! the only circumstance under which i'm willing to add a new tag is if you're willing to go through the backlog and link me every picrew that needs the tag, and i can use it going forward.

if something is tagged wrong, i need to know which maker it is so i can fix it. you need to tell me! the most useful way to send me a specific picrew is a direct link, or the artist name (which will be the title when you click into the item in the database). sometimes i get vague comments like "there are makers in x tag that don't fit" and no one EVER follows up with which ones they are so i can't FIX IT.

one big thing that you can do to help me with this database is take one of the links on my tba page and tell me what tags apply to it. literally just one! enough folks see and use this resource that just a few people taking one takes a load off my plate.

💖🍵 if this resource has been useful for you, consider sending me a tip on ko-fi!!

have fun!!!! i hope this is helpful for people!!!

#picrew #dollmaker #doll maker

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[kitscutie]

hi! i saw your post about snow omg, can i request a coriolanus x mentor!reader where she’s similar to like clemensia but she’s more close to corio and they have a secret relationship? thank you in advance if you do this rq! love ur tsitp writings sm 🥹

snow and roses: part I (coriolanus snow x fem!reader)

pairing: coriolanus snow x reader

warnings: none!

summary: you and coriolanus have been dating in secret for months, all it takes is one songbird for everything to come into the light.

a/n: first time writing for snow and I'm very excited about it! I've always loved the hunger games and this movie was insane in the best way so please enjoy! I will be making this a series and this is only part one so stay tuned for the rest!

word count: 2.2k

join my taglist here.

"You're going to get it Coryo, don't stress." You soothed the boy as you sat next to him. It was barely even six in the morning and the pair of you had woken up, well he had woken up and you with him as he blatantly needed your support, desperate for the Plinth Prize.

You didn't need the prize, already coming from a wealthy Capitol family and yet you felt the same hope that he would win as you would for yourself, stomach twisting into knots at the thought.

"There's good candidates Y/N, it feels as if the odds are already stacked against me." He sighed, leaning over as he sat so his elbows rested on his knees, head in his hands.

"The odds are in your favour Coryo, you're special. Different." With that he looked at you, a small smile gracing his pale lips. He leaned up kissing you gently, fully embracing the special moment before he got up from his place next to you.

"I'll see you at the Academy?" He asked, knowing you had to leave quickly back to your own house in order to change but also in order to avoid the suspicions of your own family who had no idea of your relationship with Snow.

"Of course." You replied, also standing up and pulling on last nights clothes as you left.

You studied the dark an empty halls of his house, ensuring Grandma'am was nowhere to be seen before you quickly walked to the door, exiting un-noticed until Tigris came around the corner, seemingly equally in a rush and holding a shirt you knew must be for Coriolanus.

"Oh, hello Y/N." She smirked as you both stopped, unsure how to approach the conversation. She was one of the only people who knew something was going on between the pair of you and still she wasn't quite sure what it was.

"Hi Tigris. You look lovely today." You said quietly, feeling like a scolded child even though you hadn't done anything wrong.

"Well if you're here I can only assume Coryo is awake, I'll see you again I assume?" She replied.

"Yes and yes." You answered awkwardly before hurrying away once again, letting out a sigh of relief as you heard her enter the house. You could only hope she wouldn't mention your interaction to Coriolanus.

You walked into the Academy at the same time as you did everyday, conveniently when Coriolanus would also show up.

"Coryo!" You yelled, spotting him across the room. He turned his head to you as though it was a surprise to see you, it wasn't.

"Y/N. What a pleasure." He smiled with his typical Snow charm, allowing you to link your arm with his.

"How are you feeling?" You asked him, thumb gently rubbing his bicep through his shirt. You rounded the corner past the food and yet you both avoided it for different reasons. You having already been fed by your family and their lavish lifestyle and he too nervous to even look at it.

"Never felt better." He replied with false confidence but no one else around you had to know that.

"Snow always lands on top." You teased as you entered the hall, spotting your friends if that's what you could call them stood in the centre of it all, as they usually did, talking about everyone around them no doubt.

"Y/N and Coriolanus, finally some real competition has arrived." Said Arachne, a glass in her hand and a smirk on her face as she always seemed to appear in public.

"Be humble now Arachne, you never know who will be chosen." You smiled, turning on your Capitol attitude in order to fit in. You were Capitol born and raised but your family taught you to be humble and kind. It was clear this wasn't common among parents here.

"Have you tried this lamb? It's scandalous." Said Felix, it made you chuckle how he used such a word to describe food.

"Only the vulgar eat with their fingers Felix, daddy not teach you table manners?" Snarled Festus, it was as though there was always a secret competition between the two of them, never quite made clear, never making sense.

"Maybe he would've if he wasn't so busy running the country. Hey they called us here for the Plinth prize right? 'Cause I heard Doctor Gaul's in the building." Felix changed the subject, knowing he had won. It was impossible to lose as the President's son you supposed.

You hadn't noticed but now Felix had mentioned it you took in the strange atmosphere, tense and mystery lingering in the air. "That is peculiar." You said, holding onto Coryo's bicep tighter subconsciously.

"Plinth. Look at his spawn. Who would've thought you could buy your way into the Academy." Felix once again snarled, he was always filled with such anger though it seemed todays anxiety only heightened this.

"Well you can't buy class. Did you see his mothers outfit? Sorry his Ma's." Festus joked, seemingly over his small tiff with Felix.

"Dress a turnip in a ball gown and it'll still beg to be mashed." Said Coriolanus, playing into their pompous ways. You knew he didn't agree, not really.

"Don't do that we all know you like him." Arachne spat with her spider like venom, raising her eyebrows at Coriolanus.

"I don't like him Arachne, I tolerate him. He's district." Said Coriolanus and he seemed pleased with his answer as you felt him relax under your touch. You however did like Sejanus and weren't afraid to show it.

"If I hear one more time how immoral these Hunger Games are I'll put him in the arena mys- Sejanus. You made it to the Reaping for once." Festus cut himself off, caught by Sejanus himself.

"And you made it to graduation Festus, we're both shocked." Sejanus replied and you couldn't help but snicker, hiding it as you realised no one else shared the same reaction. "Y/N, always a pleasure." He smiled at you politely. You couldn't help but note the way Coryo's jaw clenched, neck twitching as he looked at you to gaze your reaction.

"As are you Sejanus." You nodded. Arachne scoffed quickly mentioning the only thing she really cared about, the prize.

"Spill it, who won the prize." She asked.

"Well, no I'm not gonna ruin my father's big day. No one here actually likes him, but they do love his money." He once again hit back at the group around him, you felt sorry for the boy. Alone in a room full of people. "You know what that's like don't you Arachne?" He dug the hole deeper and you internally smirked, grateful someone was brave enough to stand up to a powerful woman like Arachne.

As the Captiol's anthem began to play you made your way to your seats, sat next to Coriolanus you placed a kiss on his cheek and whispered 'good luck' in his ear, though you didn't really think he needed it.

Doctor Gaul's chuckle resounded around the room in a menacing echo that always managed to make you shrink into your seat.

She commended you all for being star students before untroducing the creator of the games: Casca Highbottom.

He went on to tell you all that today was not the day the prize would be given out but instead there would be one more task to challenge you all and gage your true worth. Everyone seemed confused but not Sejanus.

"What's going on?" You whispered to Coriolanus. He sensed your anxiety placing a calming hand on your knee but gave you no other response which reassured you that you had not been left completely in the dark.

"The Plinth prize will no longer be determined by who was the best grades. But by who is the best mentor in the Hunger Games." With that there was outrage, to you it was dehumanizing for the tributes, 'mentored' by people their own age but for the others they only seemed to care whether they were given someone strong or weak. A 'runt' in Arachne's words.

The reaping commenced and you couldn't help but wish to be anywhere but here. You didn't want to do this, you didn't need the money yet you were forced to have another's life in your hands.

You got a small girl from 8 named Wovey, seeing her face on the big screen left you determined, determined to help her in anyway you could on the path to being a victor. Even if that meant Coryo may lose the prize.

Snow's tribute left the room in horror, her stage presence and brutality sent shivers down your spine, though you supposed that the outer Districts had it harder and that sort of survival must be built into her.

Standing up on shaky legs you grabbed Coriolanus up from his chair and outside of the room, you needed fresh air and you needed to talk to him about what you were about to face, arguably harder than any other test the Capitol could give you.

"Slow down Y/N, I can hardly keep up." He said, words laced with worry.

"I don't believe I can do this Coryo, did you see my tribute? She's hardly eligible for school never mind to be put into an arena where she's going to be killed. She's only a child." You paced while he leant against a pillar, beginning to eat some food he a had smuggled from the buffet table.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice Y/N." He tried to help but only made it worse as you realised you were trapped in yet another one of the Capitol's games. He seemingly realised this. "Hey, hey. If there as anyone in that room who would get that tribute, I'm glad it was you. Arachne would've given up on her by now. With you she has a fighter. A chance at surviving." He said while grabbing your wrists to stop your pacing.

"It's not that simple Coryo-" You tried but he cut you off.

"It is Y/N." He said sternly and you understood what he meant. It was either play into their games or become apart of them, no other choice. "You're a born winner Y/N, give her some of it hm?" He stared down at you as he spoke and his blue eyes while at times piercing sucked you in, heart rate lowering almost immediatley.

"Okay." You said.

"Okay." He smiled, reaching a hand around your neck to bring you into a kiss. It started off slow and caring though quickly intensified as he turned you both around so now you leant against the pillar instead of him.

His hand tightened around your neck, not enough to actually cut off air but just enough to make you feel dizzy as he pushed his body further into yours, keeping you against the cold cement and trapped in his arms.

Your mouths clashed together intensely, tongues colliding in a rhythm you though you would only ever be able to find with him in this lifetime. He was your everything, your light in a blizzard.

"Ahem." Coughed Casca, drawing the two of you away from each other with baited breaths and rosy cheeks. "Just like your father, yes we were best friends. Once." He said, and with that it felt like you weren't even in the room.

"Tell me Mr Snow, what are your plans after these games?" Casca asked.

"I hope to go onto the university sir, naturally." Coriolanus answered, pulling his waistcoat straight where it had been wrinkled by your tight grip.

"And if you fail to win the Plinth Prize, what then?" Asked Casca, it suddenly became clear to you that he knew something, just what he knew you were unsure of.

"We'd pay the tuition of course." He scoffed, insulted at Casca's insinuation even if it was true.

"Look at you, in your makeshift shirt and too tight shoes. Trying desperately to fit in when I know the Snow's don't have a pot to piss in." Casca said. You felt your own heart drop and so you couldn't imagine how Coriolanus felt, the insult to his pride was one you knew he wouldn't take well and so you grabbed his hand subtly, hiding it behind your back as to not show any sign of weakness to Casca.

"Goodluck with that poor little Songbird." He said, and with that he left. Leaving you to do damage control.

"Ignore him Coryo, he's trying to get into your head." You reassured him, moving a Snow white hair from his face. His jaw looked similar to the way it did earlier when Sejanus had so much as acknowledged your presence.

"He's right Y/N. From the moment my father died I lost. The odds were never in my favour." He spat out, though his actions didn't match his words as he gently removed your hand from his hair before beginning his exit of the Academy. "Come on now Y/N, I've got a songbird to catch." He said sarcastically.

You sped after him hoping Casca's words hadn't knocked him too much, after all, Snow lands on top and he wouldn't be the one to change that.

TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am, @riordanness, @suvgs, @charmed-asylum

#coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #tom blyth #tom blyth x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #coriolanus snow x fem!reader #young!coriolanus snow x reader