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#please keep the Russos away from carol
harcourt-maeve-stan · 3 years
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Not gonna lie, the Russos are my villain origin story for constantly screwing over my favorite characters
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lucy-268 · 4 years
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Changing Times
A/N - This was a request for the wonderful @openheart12, who also preread it for me. My masterlist is here.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to PB
Warnings: Language, it was in the request.
Series/Pairing: The Nanny Affair - m!Sam x f!MC (Emma Schuyler)
Word count: 1,749
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Emma shoved open the door and let it bang into the wall.
Sam looked up at her and didn’t speak. He knew what he had done and he knew someone needed to take him down a peg. He also knew that someone would be Emma. He just didn’t know what Emma had learned.
He picked up his glass of bourbon and swirled it, watching before he lifted it to his lips and drank. He picked up another glass and poured. He held out the glass for her.
She crossed the room and grabbed the glass from him, throwing it back. He didn’t bother to tell her that was not the proper way to drink a good bourbon. He turned the volume down on his speakers, silencing Won’t Get Fooled Again.
“Is everything alright with the boys, Emma?”
“The boys are perfect. They’re in their room making a lava lamp. It should keep them out of trouble since I have to go out right now.”
“Okay.” Sam lowered his eyes to the papers spread out on his desk.
Emma glanced over to see that he had been redlining the documents and placing sticky arrow flags all over them. She leaned over the desk and shoved them into a haphazard pile, turning them facedown.
“Are you going to ask me why I need to go out or where I’m going? Oh, no, you already know, don’t you?” She turned to go, hesitated, and reached back for the stack of papers. She gave it a push off the edge of his desk, scattering the papers all over his floor before she left his office.
Sam waited until he heard the elevator doors close behind her before he leaned down to collect his papers. That could have gone better, he thought to himself. As he looked at the papers in his hand, he also realized, if she had focused on the papers when they were in her hand, it could have gone a hell of a lot worse. As he turned the volume back up, he thought that iTunes was certainly on spot for selecting music as Carole King’s It’s Too Late played.
Emma’s mood was even worse when she walked into the bridal shop twenty minutes later. Partly due to the shop assistant grabbing her coffee out of her hand the second she stepped inside the door. Karen, yes that was her name, tsked at her, saying that coffee could not be brought into the store.
As Karen tossed her coffee away, another lady glided over. “You must be with Ms. Russo? I am Mrs. Bennett. Please follow me.” She turned and headed toward the back of the store without bothering to check that Emma followed.
Sofia was ordering three shop assistants around telling them what dresses would be needed for her maid of honor and bridesmaid. Karen looked at Emma, “Would you like a glass of water or white wine?”
“I'd like to have my coffee back.”
Karen sighed and said, “We don’t permit coffee in the store. I told you that.”
Emma pointed to the bride. “Sofia has coffee.”
Sofia finally noticed Emma standing there. “Emma, come here. This is Mary, she’s my new assistant. My other one decided to quit to spend more time with her new baby.” Sofia shuddered, then went back to ignoring anyone who wasn’t the shop owner. Mary was scrolling on her phone and didn’t bother to look up.
Emma looked around and turned to Mary. “Is the maid of honor here?”
Mary looked up. “I’m Laura. I’m the maid of honor.”
“Oh, whose Mary?”
“Mary was a former assistant. No one I know ever met her. The assistant right before me was Yvonne.” Laura said, “Do you also work for her in some way or are you an actual friend?”
“I work for Sam. I’m his sons’ nanny. Sofia requested that I be a bridesmaid.”
That got Laura to ignore her phone, and put it in her purse. “Sam, huh. Why is he marrying her? Those of us who have met him can’t figure it out. He is such a great guy.”
“I don’t know, you’d have to ask him. I do know they are planning to merge the companies.”
“They can do a business merger without a marriage.” Laura pointed out.
Sofia and Mrs. Bennett called them over. “You’ll just absolutely love the dresses we picked out for you.” Mrs. Bennett held up matching dresses in a washed out tan/gray. Sofia continued, “The material is the same satin as my dress, except mine is in pearl white.”
Laura and Emma took the dresses that were presented to them. Emma lifted it and noted how lightweight it was. She raised one brow at Sofia. “Is this a sample for sizing? Because it’s… colorless.”
Sofia frowned at her. “I’m the bride. I need to shine.”
“You can shine while not making others disappear. It’s almost like you’d like us to blend into the background. If that’s the case, why even bother to have bridesmaids?” Emma heard Laura stifle a laugh behind her glass of white wine.
Sofia frowned. “I went to a lot of trouble to find an acceptable dress for you both. It’s only $6,500.”
Laura spit her wine out, and Emma understood why Karen specified white, not red, wine. “How much?”
Mrs. Bennett looked from Sofia to the others. “$6,500. Is that too much?”
“Of course it isn’t,” Sofia interjected.
Emma met her eye. “Well, if you're sure you don’t mind spending that on us, I guess we can accept the gift. And whatever color you want is fine. We will also be glad to hand the dresses over to you after the wedding.”
Out the corner of her eye, she saw Laura smirk.
Realizing she was on the spot, Sofia gave a curt nod. “Of course I will.” Mrs. Bennett let out a breath she had been holding.
After they were fitted for their dresses, Emma left the shop with Laura. Sofia was staying for her final fitting. Laura grabbed Emma’s arm. “Do you want to grab dinner somewhere. I can use some pointers on how to handle Sofia. Getting her to agree to pay for the dresses and take those monstrosities back afterward was genius.”
Laura and Emma found a Mexican restaurant and spend several hours trading Sofia gossip and getting to know each other over margaritas and nachos.
The penthouse was quiet when Emma got home. She stopped by the boys’ room to check on them. Their homemade lava lamps glowed softly on their desks. Sam’s office was dark, and she didn’t see any light glowing under his bedroom door. He was either out, asleep, or hiding from her. She figured it was the latter and decided to head to bed on her own.
The next morning Emma wandered into the kitchen. She thought that she smelled bacon but that couldn’t be right, Sofia had gotten rid of that. Sam was sitting at the counter a cup of coffee in his hand and a copy of the Times on his tablet. He looked up at her approach. “Sit. Breakfast is ready. I have bacon and scrambled eggs warming in the oven.”
“What about the boys?” Emma asked.
“They’ve eaten and are with my parents.” Sam got up and fixed two plates for them.
“Why do you even need a nanny, with your parents always watching them anymore? If I wasn’t drowning in student loans I’d feel guilty taking your money.”
Sam smiled but Emma noticed it didn’t reach his eyes.
“They travel a lot, so they won’t always be here. We need you. I need you, Emma.” Sam grabbed her hand and looked at her. “I actually asked them to take them today because we need to talk.”
Emma dragged her fork through her eggs, before shoving her plate away, the bacon sitting like cardboard in her stomach.
“Are the eggs-” Sam started.
“I lost my appetite.”
He gathered the plates and stacked them in the sink. “Can we go into my office, please?”
Emma sat at the chair in front of his desk. Sam sat beside her rather than behind his desk. He handed her a file folder and showed her the documents in it. “These are some legal documents, including a prenup. One of the requirements currently in there is extramarital… relationships. On the way to Italy we said that we would-”
“It’s fine, Sam.”
“I know that Sofia is unfaithful. I’m asking that it be removed; Sofia isn’t going to argue with me on that point. This is not a marriage for love, it is a business deal.”
Emma looked at the prenup and set it on the desk. “What else? Is Sofia wanting me to be fired again? It would actually make my life easier, and I wouldn’t have to be in your wedding.”
Sam pushed the prenup to the side and pulled out the document under it. “This one isn’t up for discussion.”
Emma reached out to take it but Sam didn’t release it. “Right now Sofia doesn’t want you fired. That could change in the future and this would actually make it easier for her to fire you. Right now I have more say, as their father. Once we are married, Sofia is going to adopt the boys.”
Emma dropped the file on the desk. “Are you kidding me? Have you discussed this with them?” From the look in his eyes, Emma knew that he had not. “Un-fucking-believable! They will be devastated by this!”
“Come on Emma, I’m their father. I know what’s best for them! They need a mother. And that’s what Sofia will be.”
Emma walked to the door. She turned to look at him. “Here are my rules. I’m staying on as the nanny. For Mickey and Mason. Because I adore them with all my heart. They need stability in their life. Once you’re CEO you’ll have even less time for them than you do now. Your parents do travel a lot, right now they are enjoying the time with the boys, but there will come a time they will travel more again. Sofia is not a stable force for them; she doesn’t even fucking know their names or how to tell them apart.” She left the room, only to return a second later. “As for the prenup and the affair clause, don’t bother changing it on my account. Our personal relationship is done, effectively immediately.”
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sunfortune · 5 years
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marvel really can’t gauge audience reaction and the importance of plot points accurately in between movies and they keep churning out the next one Too Quickly (which works for solos bc they don’t depend on each other but it Doesnt for ensemble ones!!) SO they keep doing shit NOBODY wants in avengers movies and narratively doesn’t even make Sense
like I’m sure the russos got the script of ragnarok and bp before they both came out to guide them for what happens next but they were probably like “yeah.. we’re gonna disregard that thor doesn’t need the hammer as part of his identity anymore. we’re sure nobody actually cares about that bc he’s not really as popular as iron man or the others right? and black panther?? Yeah he’s going to be pretty irrelevant in infinity war. we’ll use his home as a backdrop tho, thats enough to include him.. Perfect 👌”
which is apparent once they realized the success of black panther and how the trailer for infinity war (which came out after bp) showcased the wakandans as crucial important characters vs how in the actual movie they were barely relevant. it takes away from the experience!! 
same thing with how avengers 2: age of ultron was SO Wack. NOBODY wanted to see the corny ass ultron plot coming off of the fucking winter soldier. the next movie shouldve expanded on that. we just found out shield was hydra all along! and they just disregarded that for age of ultron?? like HELLO??? nobody wants to hear about ultron after that!! STOP IT. get Help. think in between movies. PLEASE  
and with infinity war and end game shot back to back? that pattern is probably gonna continue for thor and tchalla, and others. and most likely extend to how carols character is gonna be portrayed in endgame too. ie: Not Accurately 
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fandumbstuff · 4 years
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The Marvel Cinematic Universe, Ranked Best to Worst.
Why watch a movie when you can experience it? And that’s what the MCU demands you do. These films are less about settling in to watch a movie. It’s about getting together your family, your friends and making an entire event of them. Marvel Studios has forever changed cinema going, and boy am I eager to get back to them. So with that, let me break down the franchise and my take on the best and worst it has to offer.
1. Iron Man 3 Directed by Shane Black
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Iron Man 3 still holds up as one of the MCU’s strongest screenplays. It’s their first (and one of their only) real character study of a superhero, and the psychology behind being one. Tony Stark suffers from PTSD and struggles to understand his relationship with Iron Man. He is forced to contend with human issues and find what it is that truly makes him a hero. It’s also a movie chock full of incredible action set pieces- the Air Force One scene still holding up as one of my favourites- and wickedly funny dialogue. It continues to be my most satisfying re-watch out of the MCU.
2. Black Panther Directed by Ryan Coogler
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Marvel’s best villain, best score, best production design, and best picture candidate. It’s the movie that forced Hollywood to take them seriously. Ryan Coogler showed the world that he can perform even within a studio system that had largely been criticised for being too overbearing. The world may have always known that Black Panther existed, but Coogler showed us why he matters so much. The story is the MCU’s most inspiring yet. Killmonger forces not just T'Challa, but every audience member to consider his motivations seriously. It shows humanity that heroism doesn’t come from superficial acts, but from overcoming our own flaws and learning hard lessons from our history.
3. Thor: Ragnarok Directed by Taika Waititi
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In letting Taika Waititi have free reign over Ragnarok, Marvel is given their most unique film yet. The movie feels very much like Waititi’s own vision, chock full of his signature wit and charm. And its within this vision that we finally see Chris Hemsworth come into his own as Thor. Finally at ease, he’s allowed to be funny, and absurd, and play the emotional scenes without any melodrama. Waititi really makes the character dynamics in this film memorable, introducing us to the Grandmaster and Valkyrie, and fleshing out Banner and Loki. It’s a cast that charms us enough to consider staying with the MCU and seeing where they go.
4. Captain America: The Winter Soldier Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo
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Chris Evans finally comes into his own as Captain America, as Winter Soldier gives him a captivating character arc to work through. Steve Rogers is placed in a conflict that makes him question his own motivations. The morality that he stands for is in direct opposition to the authority he serves, leaving him to question what it means to be Captain America. We also see him learn from his relationships with the supporting cast- with a franchise best portrayal of Nick Fury and Black Widow and a particularly strong introduction of Falcon. The Russos create something truly remarkable by taking a character that has been criticized for being too traditional and show him learn and change significantly. But in addition to all this they direct what is easily the MCU’s best pure action movie yet, showcasing the franchise’s best car chase (Fury vs Cops) and its best fight scene (THAT knife scene).
5. Avengers: Endgame Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo
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Stunning, momentous and joyous, Endgame is the theatrical experience that Marvel has spent over 10 years honing to perfection. Just one year after Infinity War, the MCU brings together their iconic, colossal cast for their grandest, most ambitious adventure yet. And while Endgame is chock-full of some stunning action sequences and gleeful references, it carries a genuine heart to it. These heroes struggle with PTSD from the events of Infinity War. We see them at their very lowest, and watch their desperation mount and grow to determination. This epic struggle is what has made superheroes so compelling for so many years. By breaking these characters down, the Russos show us just what makes them great. We’ve witnessed writers, directors and certainly the actors take these characters on journeys that have seemed at times thrilling, at time out of touch, but in Endgame, they’re at their very best. The moments of reprieve in the action where we simply sit with them to listen in on their banter are the best. Building to it’s inevitably emotional ending, Endgame winds up being one of the most wholly cathartic experience I have had with a film.
6. Guardians of the Galaxy Directed by James Gunn
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At the time of it’s release, Guardians was the franchise’s best-looking movie yet, and it still holds up. The slick space opera designs set to the now iconic soundtrack made the first Guardians an aesthetic marvel. It’s the substance that comes with this that makes the movie one of the MCU’s best. The ragtag group are misfits who find their purpose by banding together, and while the sequel may have drawn this out to nauseating lengths, the first movie made it succinctly effective. It found the right balance of humour and sentiment, endearing us to a cast of characters that seemed too obscure to be popular- and guaran-damn-teeing that Marvel can do whatever the hell it pleases moving forward.
7. Avengers: Infinity War Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo
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To handle ten years of storytelling and world building and bring it to such a satisfying crescendo is commendable. The Russo brothers handle each character well- each new introduction is a pleasing moment of familiarity and excitement to the fans that have stuck with this franchise. It’s a perfect match to the comic book format. And ultimately Infinity War is as good as any major comic book event. A chance to see our favourite characters interact with each other with conceivable motivations, and face a threat that is alarmingly critical. Its in this respect that Infinity War outshines its predecessors. For the first time, the Avengers face real emotional consequences if they fail. The Russo’s pull no punches to make this clear and despite a fair amount of signature MCU levity, Infinity War winds up being their darkest film yet.
8. The Avengers Directed by Joss Whedon
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There’s no questioning the milestone achievement that The Avengers accomplished. As a superhero ensemble, it never once feels congested or jarring-something that most blockbusters consistently suffer from. Instead the protagonists are given clear goals, and their obstacles make real sense. Their hostility towards each other stems from their innate character flaws that they need to address to face the true antagonist in Loki. It highlights what Marvel does so well- offer us adventures that don’t tie up all their loose ends but rather leave them dangling to set up more ambitious stories.
9. Spiderman: Homecoming Directed by Jon Watts
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I’ve long considered Spider-Man an uninteresting superhero, so it is highly commendable that Homecoming manages to change that. We skip the origin story and meet a Peter Parker that is inexperienced and has a lot of growing up to do. He contends with Michael Keaton’s Vulture- a villain that is simultaneously charismatic, intimidating, and relatable. Supported by what is probably the best supporting cast in any MCU film. Martin Starr, Hannibal Burress, Zendaya, Jacob Batalon, Jon Favreau and Marisa Tomei flesh out Spidey’s own universe of Queens- wholly believable and charming.
10. Captain America: Civil War Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo
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In all respects, this should have been the second Avengers film. The Russo brothers do what Joss Whedon couldn’t. They show these characters change and clarify their motivations based on the 8 years that we’ve been watching them. They introduce new characters like Spider-Man and Black Panther in seamless fashion. They provide exciting action set pieces and compelling moments of drama. The payoff at the end truly shows us how much of a battering these heroes take- emotionally and physically. We see their vulnerability more clearly than any other MCU film, forcing us to address the question that they can’t keep doing this forever.
11. Captain Marvel Directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck
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The biggest issue that this movie suffers from is that it seems very episodic to a larger MCU. Its hard to get around this though, with it’s release date being less than 2 months away from Endgame. It feels like there are some key world building details that had to be gotten across. Had this not been the case, perhaps they could have explored Carol’s character a bit more. She does seem interesting, and Brie Larson does an expectedly great job, but it seems like we’re only getting a taste of a much larger character study. From what we see though, it is refreshing to see a female character who simply goes out and kicks ass without ever being sexualised, even in terms of costume design. The highlight of the film though, is undoubtedly Samuel L. Jackson’s incredible portrayal of a young Nick Fury, through the most magical of magic tricks in VFX.
12. Iron Man Directed by Jon Favreau
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While I do feel like the movie has lost some of it’s lustre since it’s release, there’s no denying that Jon Favreau achieved something remarkable with Iron Man. Forever considered one of Marvel’s B-characters, Favreau brings Tony Stark into a modern era and instantly relevant setting. This is obviously due in large part to his gamble of casting the debilitated Robert Downey Jr. in the lead. Downey Jr. pays off in spades, revitalising his career and sadly typecasting himself forever with a roguishly charming performance.
13. Doctor Strange Directed Scott Derrickson
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Doctor Strange is proof of the amazing world-building prowess the MCU has. They introduce key elements to the universe that seem incredibly important, without ever overwhelming the story. Benedict Cumberbatch puts on his best American accent yet and capably sells Stephen Strange as one of the MCU’s more level-headed heroes. The rich mythos of Doctor Strange fits immediately into the greater MCU framework while telling it’s own compelling narrative culminating in my favourite climax to any MCU film- “Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain.”
14. Spider-Man: Far From Home Directed by Jon Watts
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The real standout from this film is Jake Gyllenhaal with his pitch-perfect performance as Quentin Beck/Mysterio. He threads that line of MCU humour extremely well, but also manages to come off as wholly and realistically threatening when he needs to. Far From Home had the tough task of following the monumental Endgame,  but it fulfills its purpose of truly setting the tone for the future. A lot rests on Peter Parker’s shoulders and Far From Home shows him having to deal with it responsibly, maturing and growing to fill a greater role in the MCU. 
15. Ant-Man Directed by Peyton Reed
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If you ignore the fact that this movie was almost directed by Edgar Wright and how amazing that could have been, Ant-Man still delivers as a very entertaining movie and one of the franchises strongest origin stories. Scott Lang is instantly the MCU’s most relatable character- not a god, not a spy, just a thief with no powers and no resources (initially). And there is no one who could have played this character better than Paul Rudd. Bringing his signature charm and impeccable comedic timing to the franchise is a breath of fresh air and a brand-new dynamic. 
16. Captain America: The First Avenger Directed by Joe Johnston
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Ultimately my biggest problem with Captain America has always been his origin story, so I have some natural issues with this film. It is also bogged down with some cliched romantic drama between Steve and Peggy which takes away from its otherwise engrossing plot. Hugo Weaving proves to be an effective Red Skull, showing us a deeply disturbing quest for power. The movie excels in its WW2 setting, laying down real consequences and motives behind Captain America’s heroism. It takes a few movies for Chris Evans to settle into the role, but this is a strong start.
17. Iron Man 2. Directed by Jon Favreau
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Iron Man 2 consistently threads the line of poignant storytelling. Ivan Vanko’s vengeful motives, Tony Stark’s descent into alcoholism and the nature of war profiteering. It’s especially unfortunate then that the movie gets bogged down with a persistent need for levity. More than any other film in MCU, the humour in Iron Man 2 seems particularly cumbersome- taking away from what would surely be strong performances from Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell. As a result, we’re left with villains who don’t seem to be a threat at all- mere caricatures for Iron Man to dispatch without ever really pondering their motivations.
18. Ant-Man and the Wasp Directed by Peyton Reed
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My initial reaction to this movie was pretty positive, but given time I realise it’s totally forgettable. While it does feature some integral world building to the larger MCU, there’s very little done to explore some of their characters, particularly the Pym/van Dynes. There are still a lot of great aspects, including some clever action set pieces that explore Ant-Man’s powers more. Scott’s relationship with Cassie is expanded on and Paul Rudd and Abby Ryder Fortson do a great job selling this, making it seem truly endearing without ever being corny. Also Randall Park is in it and he might be the greatest actor of his generation.
19. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Directed by James Gunn
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More of the same, but not nearly as fresh is what Guardians 2 serves up. It rehashes a lot of its predecessors joke formulas, action montages and even the basic emotional tone. It’s hard for any of this to seem anything other than repetitive and I’m left wanting these characters to go on real adventures rather than wallow in their own angst. Without offering any new developments to these characters and a rather uninteresting plot, the movie is another totally dismissible filler episode in the MCU.
20. Thor Directed by Kenneth Branagh
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It’s really baffling that with as big of a name as Kenneth Branagh attached to it, Thor winds up being one of the MCU’s most poorly directed films. Poorly constructed shots framed on a dutch tilt and coloured with a gaudy high contrast palette make this movie a downright eyesore. It’s especially unfortunate because it’s got some great moments of storytelling in it. While the first three quarters of the movie seem tedious, it pays off in the last 30 minutes- exposing a complex family drama that drives most of the film. While Chris Hemsworth took a few films to polish his acting chops, Tom Hiddleston and Anthony Hopkins provide strong performances to really sell their characters and make us care.
21. The Incredible Hulk Directed by Louis Leterrier
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This movie has easily become the sore thumb in Marvel’s formula. It seems entirely different from the rest of the movies. This is due in large part I believe to make it similar to the original TV series. None of this is a good thing. The movie has a largely meandering plotline, with no sensible character development. Bruce Banner goes back and forth between being tortured by the Hulk and accepting him. In a world populated by poor villains, Tim Roth’s Abomination might be the worst one. At no point do his motivations make sense or seem clear at all.
22. Avengers: Age of Ultron Directed by Joss Whedon
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It seems like Joss Whedon decided to make a sequel to The Avengers without taking into consideration the four other movies that came out after it. Ignoring most of the character development and brushing aside key plot points, Whedon instead tries to explore their team dynamic by sewing seeds of hostility and testing them against a new villain. However, as good as James Spader is, Ultron never feels like a real threat. The real antagonist for the Avengers winds up being themselves, constantly bickering over right and wrong- and while this isn’t necessarily bad, Civil War would do a much better job of this just a year later. This makes Age of Ultron a dispensable entry in the MCU, and Whedon’s extremely poor handling of Natasha and Bruce’s relationship make it an arduous rewatch.
23. Thor: The Dark World Directed by Alan Taylor
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The Dark World suffers from some bizarre shifts in tone and horribly forced humour. They reduce Jane Foster and Thor’s relationship to a cliched romantic comedy and then use it to add unnecessary comedy to the family dynamic established in the first Thor. Even the performances seem poor here- as if the actors never truly felt comfortable in their role. They posture and exaggerate to sell a script that offers them very little to work with. With a caricature of an evil villain and a generic McGuffin to chase, The Dark World is everything you could criticize the MCU of, rolled into one movie.
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perpetuallyfive · 5 years
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some thoughts on Endgame
I always find it a lot easier to write very long rants about things I dislike than praise about things that I like. It just feels like the good things are obvious, you know? So compiling them in lists feels a little pointless.
It’s why I haven’t written anything about Endgame yet. I honestly thought Infinity War was pretty average at best, so the fact that I fucking loved practically every single minute of Endgame kind of caught me by surprise. It checked so many of my boxes that it’s almost hard to even articulate. 
So much of what was good about it honestly felt almost inevitable.
Mark me down as pretty confused then as I read some of the negative responses. Like... obviously, I’m just being dense. Nothing exists, especially on the internet, without some negative response. And I don’t even mean that in a pithy way. People are really different and what works for one person doesn’t work for everyone.
Which brings me back to my earlier point.
Just because I thought some of this stuff was obvious or amazing doesn’t mean everyone did, so here are a few observations, in an unordered list:
The way that time travel works in the movie is deliberately left a little vague, in my opinion, to allow wiggle room for the multiverse moving forward, especially as they expand into streaming services.
They do however clearly say that you cannot change your own past. Bruce says it. This means that Steve absolutely is not in our timeline, whatever the writers might say about it now. He’s not. In our timeline, he knew Peggy married someone else. That’s in his past. He cannot change his past in his own timeline. Therefor he cannot change who Peggy marries in his own timeline.
Seriously, he’s not in our timeline. They’re just wrong.
This means you have a million possibilities in fanfic for all the things Steve did that sent out ripples in his own new timeline or the many multiverses he could have created. It’s a fucking candy shop.
Try not to be too hard on the writers for having no idea what they’re talking about, I guess; it’s hard writing characters that are way smarter than you.
Am I less than charitable toward the writers because of their dumb takes on Natasha in defending why she’s not a part of the funeral at the end? Yes.
Just put a fucking second wreath there, god damn, would it have been so hard.
Framing Nebula’s storyline as a bad thing, which I’ve seen a few times now, is frankly insane to me. She isn’t, as the daily dot put it, killing herself. She missed her chance to save her sister five years ago and has regretted it every since. The second Gamora is at stake this time, she makes it clear that she would sacrifice anything (even someone who looked like her), to prevent losing her sister again. That’s great shit!
I am bummed we don’t get original Gamora back, but I’m also intrigued by the soft reset this does on her relationship with everyone in the Guardians. I wonder what their plans are with that in Vol 3. In many ways, her healing process away from Thanos was sidelined in the first two films and this allows the possibility of reframing that as more central to the focus in the third. Fingers crossed.
More Gamora and Nebula in general but especially in Guardians 3 please; I might threaten to retroactively like this movie less if this is the last we get of this much attention on their relationship, please and thank you.
The problem with the MCU crossover movies is they have to exist as two things at once. They have to be a movie that works as its own thing with good timing, pacing, structure, and an end that feels conclusive. They also have to pay off minor characters that mainstream audiences might not care about, as part of larger world building and the stories shared across an entire universe. Endgame, in my opinion, did a much better job of it than Infinity War or Ultron. (it’s hard to compare it with Avengers, when the scale was much more intimate.) 
No but really, I don’t think a lot of us in fandom have an appreciation for how many people don’t know any of this shit we take for granted. A shocking number of the people I have spoken to IRL who are entirely apart from fandom didn’t even know what “on your left” was a reference to and were actually a little confused by that moment. 
Just think about that and understand the levels this movie has to operate on at all times. It’s almost enough to make me feel bad for the writers, except they still said dumb shit about Nat, so I’m good.
I did actually love all the more subtle callbacks, like Natasha’s necklace and T’Challa knowing Clint’s name, but the direct quotes were pretty great too, especially Steve’s reaction to “I could do this all day.” Super charming.
Another awkward thing about the crossovers is they have to try to level the playing field slightly and there are some Avengers who are just way more powerful than others. Carol was disappointingly absent, but she’s also insanely OP. It’s why Thor got depressed and it’s why the Russos now say that Hulk will have limited use of one arm. They nerfed some of the classic Avengers, but kept Carol full powered just off in space. That’s preferable, so long as she gets more screen time later and jesus please fix the wig. Or just do the actual haircut now that it doesn’t have to be a secret.
Please dear god the hair is great in concept but seriously if there’s anything about the straight agenda ruining Endgame it’s how borderline soccer mom they managed to make that hair look.
Natasha deserved better and I think we can all agree on that, but here’s hoping that her prequel is deliberately designed to echo the destination we know she’s headed toward and to give her a better resolution more in line with what she deserved. I want to believe that they didn’t give her a full ending entirely because they knew she still had a movie coming up and didn’t want to create that sense of finality that might keep audiences from seeing it. Here’s hoping they can make it work. 
Like specifically with very different writers, please. Hopefully a woman. You’ve maybe heard of them before, one of them wrote Guardians, the movie that nobody thought could work and fucking made it work. Yeah.
Tony and Steve were always headed in opposing directions at the end of their arc. This has been covered. Tony went from living selfishly to living selflessly. He went from a playboy bachelor, to a husband, to a father. His one priority when he decided he had to save the world wasn’t even himself, it was specifically keeping his daughter in existence. He went from a selfish dick with daddy issues to someone whose only priority was being a dad.
it was perfect. Like people can say otherwise... but they’re wrong.
 I’m an expert on this, clearly. Tony’s death was perfect. 
THEY FINALLY GAVE ME RESCUE. I loved everything about it, from Tony planning it carefully for a long time -- like obviously I think it’s because he was customizing the design to be more in line with Pepper’s wants and values, like it is in the comics -- to the fact that it actually does look more defensively focused but still super capable in battle. I want to watch this movie a billion times, honestly, but this scene in particular. I need to know everything about what her suit can do.
Steve was always going to end up settling down. We don’t actually know what he did in his own timeline -- again, IT’S NOT OURS -- so there’s a chance he was still a bit of a troublemaker, but honestly the five years seemed to take a lot out of him. He doesn’t always need a war, and that actually is forward momentum and growth. I get that some people are against the idea and think that getting to be with Peggy was somehow a step back, but I’m not sure I buy that.
Tony taking out the arc reaction at the end of IM3 wasn’t actually about him erasing his trauma or leaving it behind, and Steve getting to be with Peggy doesn’t erase his growth. It was part of it.
Theoretically Sharon was always an option, except the audience (and fandom) response to her was pretty terrible, so actually she wasn’t.
And not to just keep harping on points made in an article that I think is frankly pretty terrible, but Steve going back to the past instead of settling in the present wasn’t about compulsory heterosexuality so much as it was about a franchise that is going to keep making movies needing to keep the next decade of films in mind. 
If Steve is still around in the now, that will always linger as a nagging question. The same way that people can’t shut up about where Carol was for the last decade, Steve hanging around in retirement refusing to help would hang over the next phases of movies like a cloud. Putting him in the past lets him live (which he deserves) and clears the slate.
Let Steve rest but, more than that, dear god won’t you please let Chris Evans rest too.
This goes back to how these movies, especially the crossovers, have to work on almost too many levels and it’s frankly shocking that they manage to do it and still have moments of sincere humanity and sweetness. 
Like I’m not going to try to oversell it, but seriously fucking think about the fact that one of the most successful blockbuster movies of all time actually has quiet moments where people talk about trauma, loss, parental abuse or neglect, failure, and depression. 
Hey remember when the movie gave us acknowledgement of Rhodey and Nebula’s disabilities? In the possibly going to be most successful movie of all time, they had characters with disabilities say how they’re different now but it’s okay, they work with what they got, and they bonded over that and it was so fucking shocking for me and BEAUTIFUL. Just a reminder for us all that THAT happened in the movie that may actually pass Avatar to become the MOST SUCCESSFUL FILM OF ALL TIME.
Just allowing another moment to let that sink in while I try to wrap this up (for now).
ps I can’t believe this movie made me have nice thoughts on Ultron, which I fucking despise with most of my being. 
Actually I might have to take back every nice thing I said, just because of the Ultron thing. How dare you, film.
But still lol at the fact that even talking about Ultron for a few seconds was enough to make Tony Stark pass the fuck out. Hard same, Tony. 
LOOK OBVIOUSLY I LOVED MORGAN STARK. I AM EXCITED ABOUT MORGAN STARK. SHE IS A PRECIOUS PERFECT ANGEL AND I LOVE HER.
SHIT.
So this is a totally incomplete list but here you go. Some of my thoughts on Endgame.
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Text
I Need to Talk About “Avengers: Endgame”
WARNING: THIS WILL BE VERY SPOILER-Y!
PLEASE, IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE, DO NOT READ THE SPOILERS!
IT’S SO HARD TO STAY AWAY WHEN YOU’RE CURIOUS AS HELL, BUT PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT THESE SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE!
SPOILERS WILL BE BELOW THE CUT, SO IF YOU DON’T TURN AWAY NOW, I CAN’T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SPOILERS YOU WILL SEE!
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!
OK!
I have an actual metric fuckton of stuff to say about this movie-too much, really. I won’t be able to hold it together for even a part of it, since I cried like a baby throughout 90% of this movie. I have a lot of words and a lot of emotions. Walking into this movie, I had a lot of theories. Some of them were true, and others were not. Some of them, I wished I had been wrong about. I steered clear of all spoilers, dropping off the face of the world once I heard that a leak happened, and I’m somewhat relieved that I can be back. It’s not gonna be the same, though. Never.
I’ve only seen the movie three times so far (I had to edit this twice while writing this reaction, ngl), so I’m definitely still missing some shit. I just haven’t been able to keep myself collected for long enough to write it all. I’m definitely going to see it again tomorrow, which is like opening a gaping wound and pouring salt, vinegar, alcohol, and tears into it. Why do I do this?
So, here it goes. It won’t be in order, but I’m just writing it down as it comes back to me (while listening to the Avengers Theme because I need to cry for a bit longer, I guess).
I was a bit upset that the movie didn’t open with the original Marvel fanfare. I was angry until I cried for the first time in the movie, which happened a mere 3 minutes in.
Clint’s. Fucking. Family.
When he starts running around, yelling for them, I was absolutely gutted. It felt like someone drove a knife into my back.
The Russo Bros.
JESUS. CHRIST. GIVE. THIS. MAN. A. BREAK.
GIVE. ME. A. BREAK.
Tony’s physical state in space was absolutely mind-boggling. I was crushed just seeing him like that, like a little skeleton man. I’m realizing as I write this that I can’t even think about Tony right now. Nope.
No.
Anyway, now that I’m crying, I might as well keep crying.
Nebula lifting Tony up into the seat like he’s a small child. YES, GIVE THIS MAN ALL THE LOVE AND CARE IN THE WORLD! HE DESERVES EVERYTHING GOOD! DON’T TOUCH ME, I’M CRYING!
When that little light hit Tony’s face, I was like, “CAROL! IT’S MY GIRL! WHAT A GODDESS!” and the entire theater erupted with applause. I was so happy I wasn’t stuck with a theater full of people with sticks in places they shouldn’t be.
STEVE SPRINTING UP TO TONY WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL, TOUCHING, WONDERFUL MOMENT, BUT THEN, THESE TWO FUCKERS FIGHT AGAIN LIKE 2 SECONDS LATER! DON’T TAKE MY LITTLE SHREDS OF HAPPINESS AWAY FROM ME, MARVEL, FFS!
“I lost the kid” -Tony, making me want to vomit because of the sheer emotions.
Pepperony reunion was beautiful. I cried. Everyone cried. Not everyone. Me and a few other people.
Tony losing his shit on Steve left me gutted. I just wanted everything to be okay between them, especially since both of them came so close to dying.
“I needed you!” -Tony, 2k19
“I need you two to get along” -Me, 2k19
“Up until this moment, I thought you were a Build-a-Bear” -Tony to Rocket, and the theater erupted in laughter. The Russo’s were trying to butter us up with as much funny shit in the first half as they could because THEY KNEW WHAT WAS COMING, AND NO ONE ELSE DID!
When I saw Carol’s tears in her eyes upon seeing Nick Fury’s picture as one of the vanished, I...ugh. No. I’m feeling a lot again.
She was so ready to kick some purple ass, and I was like “YAAAASSSS, KWEEN! Kill the evil grape!”
The fact that we saw the jump in the reflection of Steve’s eyes, my heart fluttered. What a beautiful...whoa. I was...the EYELASHES?! HeLp!
WHEN THANOS GOT HIS NOGGIN CHOPPED CLEAN OFF, THE WHOLE AUDIENCE LOST IT, BUT WE KNEW IT WOULDN’T BE THE END OF THANOS. The cheers were full of joy and also a bit of fear for what would come.
“I went for the head” -Thor, 2k19
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Even though, I was fully committed to this movie, when the “five years later” faded onto the screen, I couldn’t help but read it in a Spongebob Narrator voice. OOPS!
Steve trying to be a little optimist in the absolute worst circumstances...ugh!
Joe Russo’s cameo. I was like, “yaaaasss, represent the LGBTQ+ audience” but I was also like, “you’re gonna kill me in this movie, aren’t you?” AND THE SECOND TIME I WATCHED IT, WHEN PEOPLE CHEERED BECAUSE OF HIM IN THAT SCENE, I JUST SAT THERE WITH MY ARMS CROSSED LIKE AN ANGRY BABY! I KNEW WHAT WAS COMING! I KNEW THAT HE WAS GOING TO STAB ME STRAIGHT THROUGH MY FUCKING HEART IN A LITTLE WHILE! The second time around, I was more excited to see Jim Starlin in that scene.
CAROL’S HAIRCUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing Natasha cry over Clint’s disappearance was...rough. 10/10 don’t like seeing my heroes cry because it turns me into an actual blubbering mess. Natasha was a strong, fierce, incredible warrior goddess, and to see her crumble over the stress was both so incredibly realistic but also heart-wrenching. She has done such a good job holding it together in the worst circumstances throughout these movies, but now we get to see her as just as vulnerable as anyone else. Natasha was a gem, and SHE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. I NEED TISSUES. I’M CRYING!
On a side note: I love that new hair she’s rocking, ngl.
“I tell people to move on; some do, but not us” *chills*
I’m upset that the peanut butter sandwich wasn’t credited and had no appearances in the trailer. It played such a pivotal role. First, it was Nat’s. Then, Nat tried to pass it off to Steve. Then, Scott practically fell in love with it.
Scott, looking at that peanut butter sandwich:
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While we’re talking about Scott Lang, I have to say that a lot of us in the theater cried like little tiny babies, when Scott and Cassie finally saw each other again. Five hours passed for him, but his daughter aged five entire years. That was heart-wrenching and also such a happy scene.
TONY STARK FINALLY HAD SOME HAPPINESS! HE MARRIED PEPPER, AND THEY HAD A DAUGHTER, MORGAN! I CAN’T! DON’T TOUCH ME!
Professor Hulk was both really unsettling, really funny, and everything that I wanted. I didn’t really know whether to laugh or cringe a little bit. It was really well done, and it made for some laughs, but ngl, I was a bit...disturbed by it.
The picture scene. Scott is just...the most relatable.
“Take the goddamn phone” -Scott Lang, leaving myself and the rest of the theater in stitches.
“Shit” -Tony Stark, 2k19
“Shit” -Morgan Stark, 2k19
Tony = Parenting Goals, leave me alone.
“I love you 3000” -Morgan Stark being the sweetest little peanut in the history of all things. Someone protect her LIKE THEY SHOULD’VE PROTECTED TONY! HELP, I’M CRYING AGAIN!
“But would you be able to rest?” -PEPPER GODDAMN POTTS, KNOWING THAT WE’RE GONNA EXPERIENCE THE WORST PAIN IN MERE HOURS!
*ahem*
Scott’s transformation between adult, child, old, baby, and back to adult was funny af. Every person in the theater lost their shit during that scene.
“Someone peed my pants” -Scott Lang...legendary
Steven Grant Rogers in THOSE pants. We all know which ones I’m talking about. The ones he wears when he walks outside the facility and is greeted by Tony Stark. I needed an inhaler because it took my breath away. Wow.
TONY GIVING STEVE HIS SHIELD BACK REPAIRED MY SHATTERED HEART AND CLEARED UP MY SKIN.
Scott sitting outside with his little taco, only to have it blown away thanks to Rocket and Nebula, OH LORD HELP ME! I nearly pissed myself, I was laughing so hard. Then, when Professor Hulk walks by and hands him a taco with this big ass green hand, everyone went from “lol” to “awwwww” like he was some giant green puppy!
Nebula throwing serious shade at Scott! LIFE!
“What’s up, Regular-Sized Man?” -Rhodey, coming in for the kill.
Prof. Hulk riding in the back of the truck with his thicc ass, the theater erupted.
VALKYRIE! WHEN IT PANNED OVER TO HER, EVERY SINGLE TIME I’VE SEEN IT, THE THEATER WENT FUCKING BUCK WILD! PEOPLE LOVE HER! I LOVE HER! I WOULD MARRY THIS FUCKING GODDESS!
Thor.
Wow.
Whoa.
Huh.
Like, when it showed him, I laughed because...it’s still the God of a man, Chris Hemsworth. At the same time, though, it made me so goddamn sad. The audience didn’t always know whether it was right to laugh or get a bit emotional about it. He feels like he failed his people and the entire universe. That’s a lot of guilt on his shoulders, and we know where this guilt REALLY belongs.
Peter.
Quill.
STAR
DUDE
HE IS A LORD NO LONGER!
Like, I love you, but this is on you, homeboy.
MEEK AND KORG!
When Prof. Hulk mentions Thanos, and Thor gets really quiet and teary-eyed, I couldn’t help but getting emotional about it. He feels like such a failure, and that’s heartbreaking.
He...is using Stormbreaker...as a bottle opener...wtf, Thor?!
“There’s booze” -Rocket
And that was the line that convinced Thor Odinson, the God of Thunder, the King of Asgard to join up with his team again and kick some ass. Really. I’m not lying. This is the true motivation for my dude, Thor. Wow.
“Jane put her hand in a rock, and the stone put itself into her” -Thor, 2k19
*THE THEATER LOSES IT*
Rhodey motioning what he wanted to do to baby Thanos was one of the funniest bits in the movie. I almost puked, I laughed so hard, and then the reaction he got from the other characters. Oh shit!
“See you in a minute” -Natasha to Steve, and the second time I watched it, I lost my goddamn mind. The people next to me were probably like “wtf is gonna happen?” because they knew I had seen it the previous night during the premiere. So when Nat is doing her little “hahaha, I’ll see you in a second” I was just over there dying, trying to hold back my gross sobs. Like I’m doing right now.
I can’t see the keyboard.
Seeing a different view of the Battle of New York was fucking stellar. I was dead. I knew that this was the moment I would get to see Loki being Loki. Wow. Much anticipation.
Prof. Hulk having to pretend to Hulk out left me shook. I couldn’t hear the movie because of the audience laughter.
Bruce and the Ancient One was a great little duo, and I would honestly pay to see Tilda Swinton just interacting with my favorite heroes all day.
“That suit was doing nothing for your ass” -Tony
“As far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s Ass!” -Scott, speaking on behalf of everyone in the universe.
LOKI IMITATING STEVE WAS A BEAUTIFUL CALLBACK TO “THOR: THE DARK WORLD” AND I LOST IT. I LOST IT AND COULDN’T FIND IT FOR A HOT MINUTE! Then, Thor just slaps that Asgardian “shut the fuck up” mouthpiece on him, and I don’t get to hear Tom Hiddleston’s silken waterfall of a voice again throughout the movie. Who approved this? Like, I enjoy knowing that there was a reason behind said mouthpiece, and it was because Loki couldn’t stop running his mouth, but I just...I wanted more of Loki than I got.
Hulk getting mad about taking the stairs. That was a mood and a half.
When Steve got into the elevator, I was low-key hoping for another can of whoopass like in “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” but what I got was even. fucking. Better.
Hearing Cap say “Hail Hydra” was just as bone-chilling as when I read it in the Captain America: Steve Rogers issue a while back. It was pretty intense hearing him say it, but I thought it was a cool hint to the comic. It gave me chills, but it was also…
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Alexander Pierce, ugh! Listen, Robert Redford has always been-and will always be-a stone cold fox, but Secretary Pierce is the #worst. No one likes him. Seeing all these “long lost” characters was such a nice send-off for our heroes. This was the end of a decade-long saga, and this truly felt like a fan-service movie with a lot of heartbreaking moments that we didn’t want as well.
Seeing Tony have that cardiac dysrhythmia was not my favorite thing, but it was much easier than seeing...the INCIDENT AT THE END THAT SHATTERED MY UNIVERSE!
Loki’s eyes following the case when Ant-Man kicked it away left me cackling in my seat. Every time I’ve watched it, it was hilarious. Idgaf, every single time Tom Hiddleston is on that screen, he steals the show, even when he can’t speak.
God.
That man.
Help.
Hulk busting out of the stairwell and hitting Tony across the fucking room was hilarious.
Then, this little shit, Loki, picks up the tesseract and yeets himself right outta the movie like he was never there to begin with. We don’t see him another goddamn time. I was low-key hoping that Thor could’ve found a way to be in on the plan to get the tesseract so that he could’ve seen Loki one more time, but whatever. I’m not in charge of anything ever.
Like, we’ve gotten to see him as Loki for like a cumulative 4 minutes in two entire movies. How rude.
STEVE RUNNING INTO STEVE!
AND THAT FIGHT SCENE!
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I was all kinds of whoa.
Me during that scene:
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“That is America’s ass” -Steve Rogers, 2k19 or...2k12…? Help.
Steve and Tony going back in time to the 70’s was all kinds of tears. Like, Tony getting to see his dad got me all choked up. AND HOWARD’S LIKE “THERE’S NOTHING I WOULDN’T DO FOR HIM” AND I’M JUST CONFLICTED BECAUSE TONY SUFFERED BECAUSE OF HIS DAD, BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ANYMORE!
And when I saw Steve grab four of those vials of Pym particles, I was like “HONEY, YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL YOU DON’T NEED THAT MANY! PUT IT BACK! DON’T BE LIKE THIS!” I felt like a mother in the candy aisle with a free range toddler.
Listen.
Now, here’s a question.
HOW.
THE FUCK.
DID PEGGY CARTER.
NOT SEE.
HER MAIN MAN.
STEVE.
AMERICA.
ROGERS.
????????????????????????????
Steve’s there like:
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And my girl, Peggy, is just:
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Completely oblivious.
Whatever.
1970′S JARVIS! FUCK ME UP!
Tony giving this “stranger” a hug after having a quick chat with him on an elevator was hilarious because Howard had no idea what the shit was going on.
Honestly, Nebula’s trip to Morag with Rhodey was nice and all, but I wasn’t as invested in it because I knew that it would tie into Thanos, and it did. I was just sick of seeing this purple nutsack-having face. I was done with him. THEN I HAD TO SEE PETER QUILL AGAIN, AND I WAS READY TO PUNCH A HOLE IN THE SCREEN BECAUSE I’M STILL MAD ABOUT INFINITY WAR! I will blame him for this until I die.
And then we get Nebula 1.0 meeting Nebula 2.0, and I was 10/10 uncomfortable. Not a fan. Not a fan at all. Negative fan.
Thor talking to his mom made me cry. Frigga is the goddess Asgard needed but not the one it deserved. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
When I realized that Steve, Tony, and Scott went to NYC, Nebula and Rhodey went to Morag, Thor and Rocket went to Asgard, I knew. I knew that shit was about to go down on Vormir. I already knew that someone was going to die in order to get the Soul Stone, but I didn’t want to think about who it was going to be. AND WHEN I SAW IT, I WANTED TO FUCK RIGHT OFF OUT OF THERE. NO THANK YOU!
I knew that Clint and Nat would want to sacrifice their own lives to keep the other from doing it, and they’re two of my favorite characters in the MCU, far above many of the newcomers. They’ve been around since the beginning, and I have an even deeper connection with Nat because I could identify with her as a woman. She didn’t have superpowers, but she wasn’t the damsel in distress, and I found a lot of power in that.
That entire scene had me on the very edge of my seat, and it left everyone else in the theater the same way. Even going back to watch it, I’m still on the edge of my seat, even though I know what happens. The first time around, I didn’t know who it was going to be, who was going to sacrifice themselves for the Soul Stone, and I gasping for air every time one of them made a break for the edge of the cliff thing.
Thinking about that scene still gives me chills. Thinking about how Clint was holding onto her arm as tightly as he could and nat was sitting there, not even trying to hold on. Ugh. It makes me so fucking emotional. I don’t give a fuck. Natasha went out a fucking hero. She sacrificed herself for the greater good, knowingly. I know a lot of people are like, “they did her dirty” but I prefer this death to one at the hands of Thanos. She sacrificed for something she loves: her team, her family. She sacrificed so that Clint wouldn’t have to, so that he could be with his family when they were brought back. The MCU did Natasha dirty by not giving her a movie earlier on, but this death was selfless and heroic, just like Natasha. She died a hero, and no one can change my mind on that.
I’m crying.
Wait.
Ok, so seeing Clint break down and cry was not my favorite thing.
AND THEN THEY GET BACK, AND EVERYONE IS SO FUCKING SAD ABOUT NATASHA’S DEATH! SAME! LET’S BE SAD TOGETHER!
Steve cries: mood.
Hulk throws shit: mood.
So, gauntlet 2.0 is built, and Prof. Hulk puts that shit on and ruins himself. Good job!
Nebula 1.0, who is pretending to be Nebula 2.0, brings Thanos to the future, which is not the best. I was just in shock by the amount of fuckery going on. Like, I didn’t understand any of the time stuff, and if anyone claims they did, they’re lying. Or they’re smart.
Prof. Hulk reverse snaps his fingers, and everything is good again! Birds are chirping, Laura’s calling for Clint, the sun is shining, Thanos’ ship is shooting at the Avengers facility, and he’s being a little prick. Everything’s back to normal.
I was low-key nervous that Hulk, Rocket, and Rhodey were gonna drown under the rubble of the facility, and I was not impressed. But when Scott was like, “yo, I’m on my way,” I was ready for snack-sized Ant-Man to go full on King-Sized Ant-Man again. I was ready.
Thanos sitting outside on a rock, looking like he was ready to kick puppies or some shit. He just wants to be the worst version of himself, I swear to butt!
Thor, Tony, and Steve fighting Thanos was what I signed up for. Like, Clint’s doing the hundred meter dash beneath the facility, and he’s being chased by weight lizard/gorilla/alien hybrids. Then, we have the holy trinity putting Thanos in his place.
Wild.
STEVE.
ROGERS.
CAPTAIN.
AMERICA.
WIELDING.
MJOLNIR.
WAS.
EVERYTHING.
CHANGE.
MY.
MIND.
As soon as that hammer lifted up off the ground, gasps could be heard all throughout the theater. I heard people gasping halfway around the world. People woke up from REM sleep just to gasp. They didn’t know what they were gasping about, but they felt the power of what was happening. I died but was resurrected just to continue gasping.
When Mjolnir was thrown and bounced back only to show that it was thrown by Steve, THE THEATER SCREAMED SO GODDAMN LOUD THAT WE WERE ABOUT TO BLOW THE ROOF OFF THE PLACE. IT WAS LIKE CHRIS EVANS HIMSELF HAD WALTZED IN, PLEDGED TO MARRY EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE ROOM, AND ALSO GAVE THEM $38 TRILLION A PIECE. IT WAS MONUMENTAL. THE GROUND SHOOK. WE CAUSED THE WHOLE PLANET OF JUPITER TO QUAKE. SOMEONE SHOULD CHECK TO SEE IF IT STILL EXISTS BECAUSE THE CHEERS AND THE SCREAMS WERE ENOUGH TO BLOW UP THE ENTIRE PLANET. IT WAS THE WILDEST MOMENT. THE BEST MOMENT. THE MOMENT WE HAD ALL BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE CAP NUDGED THAT FUCKING HAMMER IN AGE OF ULTRON. THIS WAS THE MOMENT!
Then, we get one of the most epic scenes in cinema history.
Steve using Mjolnir and his shield at the same time, summoning lightning and kicking Thanos straight in the dick (figuratively). It was the wildest ride. I swear, people started punting each other across the room because they were so excited. I wanted someone to punch me in the face because I was so hyped. There was just a lot going on.
Then, Steve starts to lose to Thanos, and I was not ready. I was like, “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOPE! I DO NOT LIKE THIS! I WANT TO LEAVE! STOP IT!”
“On your left” - Sam Wilson, 2k14
“On your left” -Sam Wilson, 2k19 or like 2k24 because it’s 5 years in the future. Or is it 2k23 because the 5 year skip came almost right after the events of Infinity War? I don’t know what year it is. Help.
Anyway. Beautiful.
THEN THOSE PORTALS START POPPING UP, AND I WAS LIKE:
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I had goosebumps seeing ALL of these characters on screen. It was bittersweet not having Natasha there, but it was such a beautiful moment. That moment wouldn’t have existed if it wasn’t for her. I will give her credit always!
“AVENGERS...Assemble” -Steve “The Guy With America’s Ass” Rogers with the line we’ve all been waiting for since the beginning. It’s been a long time coming, but we got it...finally. Once again, the theater screamed, jupiter exploded, the farthest star swallowed itself, it was a lot.
Tony and Pepper fighting back to back in their suits.
Give my heart a break.
The all lady team up. I get that it was a bit on the nose. I feel like it would’ve been cooler if no words were spoken but all the female cast members just started to line up behind Captain Marvel. I was more than okay with this, though. That scene was cool as shit to see all my ladies lining up to kick some the purple nutsacks ass.
“I am inevitable” -Thanos, that little punk bitch.
“I am Iron Man” -Iron Man, 2008
“I am Iron Man” -Endgame, 2019
Everyone in the theater opening night was like “WWWWHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! YEAAAAAHHHHH!” including me when Tony snapped those little fingers. It was the best line that could’ve been delivered before that snap, but no one saw what was coming. People continued to lose their shit as Thanos’ army was dusted. It was poetic justice. And when Thanos got dusted, everyone continued to “WWWWWHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YAAAAAAASSSSSS!” including myself. This changed the second night. As the theater erupted, my ass was sitting there like “NO, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN! STOP CHEERING!” as I’m holding back adult sobs!
Then.
The camera found Tony.
The cheering died instantly.
The theater got so fucking quiet.
I could feel my heartbeat in my throat.
I could hear the collective heartbreak around the theater.
We had won.
However, we also lost.
I can’t talk about it. I can’t write about it. I just cannot. Of all the people I thought would go, he was low on the list. I was almost certain that Steve would be ripped away from me, but I never thought that this would happen. I’m not okay. I’m really sad. I’m not smad anymore. I’m just sad as shit. Rhodey, Peter, and Pepper getting their moments with him only hurt my heart even more, and I can’t. I’M CRYING AGAIN! I’M NEVER GONNA STOP!
“You can rest now” -PEPPER POTTS
TONY STARK DESERVED BETTER! HE WENT OUT A HERO, BUT I CANNOT! I WILL NEVER BE OKAY ABOUT THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
“I love you 3000” -TONY FUCKING STARK’S MESSAGE TO HIS LITTLE DAUGHTER. I’M GONNA PUKE! SOMEONE THROW ME AWAY! I’M DEFECTIVE! HELP!
“Your dad liked cheeseburgers. I’m gonna buy you all the cheeseburgers you want” -Happy to Morgan, fucking my entire world up.
“Proof Tony Stark Has a Heart”
It was so touching to see that every hero was gathered there to pay homage to a hero. It was such a beautiful scene. Seeing everyone there just felt like the twist of the knife in my cold, dying heart. It was great. I loved it.
I’m convinced that the only people who didn’t cry in these scenes were stone cold killers, and I will refuse to believe otherwise until I’m dead and gone. Like, my father cried during these scenes (Nat’s death, Tony’s death, and Tony’s funeral), and it takes...a lot to get tears out of him. I cried the entire ending. Like, the scene with Wanda and Clint. Ugh. I can’t take this anymore. I didn’t stop crying, even as Thor was giving the throne over to Valkyrie (she deserves it, yaaaaaasssss kween), or as he had his moment with the Guardian’s of the Galaxy. I continued to cry when Steve and Bucky had their moment that parallelled “Captain America, The First Avenger”
“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back” - Bucky, CATFA
“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you” -Steve, CATFA
“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back” -Steve, AE
“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you” -Bucky, AE
I UGLY CRIED AGAIN BECAUSE I JUST FUCKING KNEW WHAT STEVE WAS GONNA DO. HE WAS GONNA USE THE FOURTH VIAL OF PYM PARTICLES TO DO WHAT HE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. HE WAS GONNA GET THAT FUCKING DANCE! AND BUCKY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON!
That’s why this little shit wasn’t surprised to see that Steve hadn’t come back on time.
I was high-key hoping that Bucky would receive the title of Captain America. He’s held the shield in virtually every movie he had the chance to. Both him and Sam Wilson hold the title in the comics, and I felt like this could be a new arc for Bucky. Like, he needed this redemption. It was still gonna be bittersweet no matter what because Steve Rogers has always been the version of Captain America I love the most. When Bucky urged Sam to go see Steve, he knew that Sam was the man for the job.
Old man Steve is a silver fox. Change my mind.
I think it’s partially the voice, ngl.
So, I really don’t understand the time stuff, especially with an old man Steve in the future, so I don’t really get how it didn’t change everything with him being old af during the events of the Avengers, AOU, CATWS, CACW, IW, literally all of it. I just...don’t understand? But I don’t care because at least he got his happily ever after. Steve was a man out of time, and he did his time as a hero. He deserved happiness, and he found that with Peggy. I saw that some people were like “BUT HE ABANDONED HIS FRIENDS!” Steve did his time, and he deserved to have his happily ever after, just like Tony got to do for a while with Pepper and Morgan.
And he finally got his dance.
And the credits.
The fucking credits.
All of the original cast members signed their names.
And of course, RDJ was last.
Everyone cheered, yelled, screamed, and cried. It was another earthquake, Jupitergate, Supernova kind of moment.
And that little sound at the end. Tony making his first Iron Man suit. I have a glimmer of hope that it’s Harley building his own suit to become Iron Lad because why would they put him in this movie if they aren’t going to do anything with him in the future? Each of these movies has had a post-credit scene with a hint as to what will happen in the future of Marvel, and a piece of me is so content if this truly just ended with a callback to the past, to the man who started it all.
I didn’t stop crying until I got in the car with my friends, scream-sobbed, and then had to pull it together in order to drive and not die in a fiery car wreck even though that would’ve been better than going back to the theater again and again to have my heart shattered even more.
I’m never gonna be okay again, but this is it. This marks the end of my childhood, even though I’m in my 20’s now. The comics, the movies, the merch, it all symbolized my childlike wonder. I know that Marvel will continue making movies, but these were the heroes I fell in love with. Before the release of the first Iron Man, I had fallen in love with the comic book personas of these characters. Iron Man, Captain America, Spider-Man, Hulk, Thor, Hawkeye, Black Widow, FUCKING MOON KNIGHT (I need a Moon Knight movie, ngl) were all characters I fell in love with (there’s a lot more, but I’m too emotional to sit here and list every single one of them). Then, actors who felt like they were made for these roles brought my favorite characters to life. With this being the end of the superheroes I loved growing up, it’s essentially marking the end of my childhood. I grew up reading these comics, and I watched the movies as they came out in theaters with my dad. Now, I go with my dad, with friends, with my uncle, my brother. Sometimes I see them alone if it’s the fifth or sixth time seeing it. Still, this marks the end of an era, and I have so much appreciation in my heart for these actors who brought to life my heroes. I have so much love in my heart for Stan Lee, who made my life one filled with superheroes and childlike wonder. This journey has meant the world to me, but every journey has an end. I will continue to watch the movies that have come out and will watch the new movies as they are released, but there will always be a little something missing. Either way, I will continue to support this franchise for all the happiness it has given to me over the years and all the happiness it will continue to give.
RDJ, we love you 3000.
Excelsior!
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peterman-parker · 5 years
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Meeting Sebastian Stan?
Seb is going to MCM and I would love to meet him, so... would y’all mind helping me out?
Buy Me a Coffee? or  PayPal Me?
$1 will get an aesthetic of your choice with whoever and whatever you want, apart from incest i will create whatever ship you wish
one kofi/ $3 - will get you a drabble
two or more ko-fis/ $6 will be a piece of work for you. You can choose from the prompts provided or you send me a prompt yourself. - you can choose up to three prompts in the same piece of work but it is not a requirement
three or more ko-fis /$9 Will get you a series of your own (min. 3 parts)
If you buy me a coffee leave your tumblr name and send me a message on peterman-parker (however you want - dm/ask) with a prompt and a pairing
If there is anything you want to know just send me a message. Love you all
Thor Odinson,Chris Hemsworth, Scott Lang, Billy Russo, Ben Barnes, Frank Castle, Matt Murdock, Carol Danvers, Bucky Barnes, Sebastian Stan, Steve Rogers, Chris Evans, Brunnhilde, Wanda Maximoff, Peter Parker
“You look so beautiful tonight…”
“I still love you.”
“I’m not good enough for you.”
“I don’t want you to leave.”
“Why are you wearing my sweater?”
“You’re my favourite pillow.”
“Promise me you’ll come back to me. Promise me I’ll see you again.”
“I’m sorry I’m late. I’m two fucking years late…”
“stop looking at me like that.”
I’m up, I’m up! Hey, whoa, why are you straddling me?
“Who gave you that black eye?”
“I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”
“I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  
“I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.”
“Can you just man up and change his diaper?”
“I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”
“I just got out of the shower, I can’t dance. What if my towel falls off?”
“Is this our closet? Or your closet?”
“What’s the saddest word in the English language?”
“I need you to leave … Get out!”
“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
“How is my wife more badass than me?”
“I haven’t slept in ages.”
“Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”
“I’m late.”
“Here, take my blanket.”
“You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”
“Please put your penis away.”
“It’s a New York thing.”
“Does he know about the baby?” 
“ I hate him/her. I hate him/her with his/her perfect little face, and his/her cute smile, and his/her perfect lips, and his/her amazing personality and his/her perfect everything. I hate him/her. “
You’ve always picked on me, but the moment someone else calls me a name you stand up for me.
“You’re still here?… And you’re making pancakes?”
“You can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that it’s her.”
“I lied when I told you that I didn’t love you.”
“You have no idea who I am, do you?”
“Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
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boasamishipper · 5 years
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endgame review (spoilers!!!)
okay so now that i’ve finally stopped crying and had a good night’s sleep here are all of my thoughts on avengers endgame:
things i liked:
the opening scene with clint losing his wife and kids -- my heart was in my throat the whole time; i felt so so bad for him
nebula and tony bonding
steve getting rid of that beard like thank god
tony and pepper reuniting
tony FINALLY telling steve off for everything; as a lifelong tony stan this was super cathartic
scott reuniting with cassie; in fact, all of scott’s scenes were awesome
bonus - the fact that the only reason any of this was able to happen was because a rat accidentally turned the machine back on
the fact that tony got married to pepper!!! and had a daughter!!! he was such a good dad to baby morgan i loved it
carol’s new haircut  👌 👌 👌
tony looking at peter’s picture  😭 😭😭
“shit :)”
“i love you 3000″
all of the time travel scenes. did the rules make sense? nope. did i love seeing the crew go back in time to all of the previous avengers movies and see their past selves and fuck around with the timeline? absolutely.
going off that -- getting to see all the minor characters like jane and frigga and hank was awesome. i loved the entire time heist plot.
loki making fun of cap by transforming into him
“hail hydra” followed by that smirk (and the fact that they made fun of the whole hydra!cap thing was awesome)
the cap vs cap fight
thor getting to talk to his mother
tilda swinton’s character and bruce talking. seeing her again was def a surprise.
nebula and gamora talking and teaming up to fuck thanos over. karen gillam was great in this film.
tony getting to talk to his father (and the fact that the code name he used was howard potts like??? i cry)
“we’re a long way from budapest” be still my 2013 clintasha heart
the new infinity gauntlet being made out of tony’s iron man hand
the fact that they brought everyone back without fucking up the timeline. i was so worried they’d have to erase tony’s kid from existence but they didn’t so thank god.
steve wielding mjolnir. ngl that was pretty cool.
EVERYONE COMING BACK!!! (i knew it was coming. everyone knew it was coming. but it was still great to see.)
steve saying “avengers assemble”
PETER AND TONY’S REUNION!!! (i waited an entire fucking year for this and it was WORTH IT)
PEPPER FIGHTING ALONGSIDE TONY!!! HOPE FIGHTING ALONGSIDE SCOTT!!! battle couple goals :D
“hey peter parker”
“i am inevitable.” “i am...iron man.” S O B B I N G
tony’s death. like am i sad that tony died??? 150%. but it made narrative sense, he got to be happy with his kid and pepper (for however brief of a time), he found the loophole in time travel that allowed him to save everybody, and he dusted thanos. “you can rest now.”  😭😭😭 a fitting ending for the strongest avenger.
the entire funeral scene. the viking funeral wreath thing with the “proof tony stark has a heart” on it??? GOOD SHIT. i was bawling.
happy and morgan. that kid’s going to have happy wrapped around her little finger.
tony’s final message
the thorkyrie scene (even if i didn’t like what was being said i’m glad they shared some screentime.)
harley coming back!!!
sam becoming captain america (THANK GOD)
the end credits with rdj (the man who singlehandedly made the mcu amazing) being billed last. the theater was cheering and crying at the same time and it was amazing.
the final bit at the end with the noise from tony making his first suit. 😭😭😭
things i didn’t like:
the way they treated thor. taika made thor so amazing in ragnarok and the russos (and the screenwriters) got jealous and shit all over it!!! wtf!!! (and all of the fat jokes and jokes about his ptsd were NOT cool. didn’t like rocket slapping him out of his panic attack either.) can’t believe they made him an alcoholic who sits on his ass and plays fortnite all day. wtf.
for that matter -- i CANNOT believe that he would just up and fuck off with the guardians of the galaxy and abandon his people. is valkyrie a worthy leader??? absolutely. but so is thor!!! that was his entire arc in endgame like WTF!!!! (also the fact that we didn’t get a thorkyrie kiss is fucking CRIMINAL)
also why couldn’t he keep the short hair??? why did he have to get mjolnir back when taika went to all the trouble of showing he didn’t need the hammer to be a hero? did they just want to fuck up EVERYTHING that taika did?
the ending for steve. ‘nuff said.
no you know what? i’m going to go into this further. do i like steve? no. i never have. his actions toward tony in civil war put him on my shitlist forever, and that’s all i am willing to say about that. but you expect me to believe that steve fucking rogers (who KNEW that peggy moved on, lived a good life and had a husband and kids) really went back and fucked up the timeline just to be with her? he barely knew her!! they barely bonded in the first avenger at all!! also there are so many plotholes with how in the world he managed that (what happened when the other cap woke up from the ice???) also does this mean that his ‘romance’ with sharon is technically incest??? and did he just live out the rest of his life with peggy knowing that bucky was being tortured by hydra? insert “it’s bad writing” gif here.
(i am glad that he passed the shield onto sam though. bucky would have been a terrible choice for captain america.)
ALSO. you know who would have been a better choice to go back in time and live the rest of their life with the people that they loved and could not be with due to reasons outside their control? CAROL MOTHERFUCKING DANVERS. let her go back in time and live a happy life with her wife and kid. #carolmaria4evr
the fact that natasha died instead of clint. i literally cannot fucking believe that they fridged the first female avenger just for clint’s (and everyone’s) man pain. it was bad enough when they fridged gamora for thanos’s man pain. clint should have died in nat’s place and the fact that he didn’t is a huge fucking cop out and that’s the that on that.
for that matter -- clint’s entire storyline prior to going back in time was WILD. his only explanation for killing all those people was “thanos snapped half the universe and you didn’t die so imma kill you.”  FUCKING WHAT????
the fact that the russos are patting themselves on the back for their “woke lgbt rep” that was actually just a “leave for the bathroom and miss it” extra. you know what would have been better? a stucky ending. a sambucky ending. carol going home to monica and maria. valkyrie kissing a girl. ANYTHING would have been better than that.
speaking of carol -- she was CRIMINALLY underused in this movie. she was barely shown mourning fury (and also!!! why did we get no confirmation about monica and maria????) and barely spoke to the team in general. i thought she was going to have a major role (and would help them go back in time) but she didn’t and that disappointed me.
did i like the fact that she destroyed thanos’s fleet? yes. but i wish she was used more. she’s the most powerful avenger ever!!! and i wish that she got to speak more with tony as they’re friends in the comics.
(BRIE LARSON IS AN ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS AND THEY BARELY USED HER!!! LIKE WTF)
i won’t even get into the makeup thing bc that’s already been said and done. actually no i will. there was no reason for her to have perfect hair and lipstick and makeup. that’s not who she is. please let butch ladies continue to be butch please and thank you.
the fact that they didn’t bring gamora and natasha back :(
this might be controversial but i didn’t love the fact that pepper and tony suddenly retired to a lakehouse and became stay at home parents. i was totally expecting pepper and tony to keep running stark industries and make it into a charity organization that helped people in need/those affected by the snap.
the fact that they never fucking explained how time travel worked and WHY they couldn’t just go back and kill thanos as a baby (that was a good suggestion!). and the thing where nebula shot her past self and somehow lived??? it made no sense. i mean. i know it’s bad writing. but i was expecting it to be at least a LITTLE better. where are my explanations.
speaking of bad writing -- did the avengers ever come out and say the reason that everyone got dusted? did everyone know it was bc of thanos? why are some places in such states of disrepair and others are not? who ruled wakanda since shuri and t’challa were dusted? so many unanswered questions. rip.
the directing of the final battle was on par with the throne room battle scene in the last jedi in that both are chaotic and messy and that’s the that on that. as was the scene where hawkeye was beating up the yakuza. messy. lame. yawn.
the scene with all of the female superheroes. was it cool? sure. do i wish natasha could have been there? YES. do i wish that the mcu had more female superheroes? DOUBLE YES. was it a blatant attempt for the russos to pat themselves on the back and be like “sEE!! WE’RE FEMINISTS!!! LOOK AT US!!”?? definitely.
honestly, i was expecting the acting to be way worse than it was based on how all my mutuals were going off about it. overall, though, it was clear in some scenes that the actors had no idea what the context of their lines were and the acting was pretty meh throughout, and for the biggest marvel movie of the year the acting should be a damn sight better than “meh”. but this just reinforces what i know already, which is that the russos are shitty directors. get them as far away from the mcu as possible please and thank you.
things i wish we got:
a carolmaria reunion
a peter&may reunion
a fury&everyone (and esp a fury&carol reunion)
clint sacrificing himself instead of nat sacrificing herself
valkyrie talking to thor about overcoming alcoholism and ptsd
thor staying in new asgard with his people
steve going back and dancing with peggy like he promised and THEN going back to the future (where all of his friends are) and retiring or helping fury bring back shield.
better writers
better directors
an end credits scene that set up phase 4 (tho i assume we will be getting that in spiderman far from home)
tldr - thor got fucked over. tony is a hero and the love of my life. steve shouldn’t have gone back in time to be with peggy. nat shouldn’t have been fridged. the writing was meh and the directing was worse. not the complete and utter shitshow i was expecting, but not the so-called greatest movie in the mcu. give rdj an honorary oscar. 6/10.
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Just got home from Endgame, some scattered thoughts below the cut, you have been warned, spoilers
- loved the opening with Tony and Nebula in space, adrift, just...waiting and counting down time. It was a long movie, but I feel like their desperation should’ve been sold longer. Maybe cut away for a bit, show some other stuff, or I don’t know. It was good, but I felt like their desperation wasn’t quite sold hard enough.
- Thor is a gem and should be protected at all costs. He was perfect the entire film.
- Cap and Tony’s endings were thematically *perfect*, I wouldn’t have changed a thing about either one. 
- Needed more Captain Marvel. 
- Time is wibbily wobbly but does this mean there’s a parallel universe where Loki is alive with the Space Stone?
- Loved the beginning bit where Captain Marvel is just there, playing into the post credit scene from Captain Marvel.
- Killing Thanos the first time just out of pure anger/aggression/rage/grief? Perfect. Like I said: Protect Thor at all costs.
- Love that Thor is with the Guardians now, but also kind of wish he and Captain Marvel where a spin off.
- Disliked how Tony came back ridiculously curmudgeonly. A bit of a Curmudgeon? Sure, but the fact that he didn’t even want to help go after Thanos left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.
- Kinda wish Hawkeye had taken the plunge on Vormir over Widow, personally. That said, I was sad to have seen either go and I still cannot believe that with all the chemistry Hawkeye and Black Widow have *and* Renner and ScarJo have that Feig and the Russo’s decided Banner/Romanof should be the ship. Also that said, I get that Clint had a family to go back to, but...still think his stint as Ronan would’ve had a sound thematic end if he’d sacrificed himself to bring them back. 
- The bit where all the Lady Avengers got together to get the Iron Infinity Gauntlet to Antman and Wasp was fucking class.
- Did I mention it needed More Captain Marvel? And if you are going to send her away until the third act, have Giant Man come up *then* have Strange and Wong do the “is this everyone” quip *then* bring her in. At least in my theatre everyone was so burnt on returns that by the time Marvel got there mid battle there was just no wooping energy left.
- Cap using Mjolnir was class
- Carol Danvers could own me, her haircut made my soul weak. 
- Clint’s haircut wasn’t nearly as distracting as I thought it would be and his tattoos were pretty class.
- Can somebody please explain the post credit “ting-ting-ting” against black screen to me? 
- if you have young children (I’m talking under 7)? Please don’t bring them to a 10:30pm showing of a loud bombastic emotional movie on opening weekend.
- People need to not bring phones to threatres. 
- To that one dude that screamed “well FUCK”  when they put the memory wreath in the letter that said something along the lines of “proof that Tony Stark has a heart?” Fucking *mood* dude. 
- Apparently gonna come back and keep adding things: Scarlet Witch 1v1′ing Thanos was great. 
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padfootagain · 4 years
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Hello everyone! I'm so happy to host a new event for my blog! It has been a while since I made one of these writing events, and I hope you will enjoy it! I've organized it to celebrate my blog hitting 4.7k followers!!! This is unbelievable, tbh, I have no idea what you guys are doing around here, but thank you so much for it anyway!!
So, for the coming weeks, I'll be writing your requests, that you can send me using the prompts I'm proposing in this post, under the cut! I hope you'll have fun!
 Carole, what is going on now?
 For this event, I'll be answering some prompts! The idea is simple: you choose one of the characters I write for and a few prompts, and I will write a one-shot for the character you have chosen, using the prompts you have chosen. You can also indicate more details that you would like to be included in your request (a specific AU or situation… ). It's super easy, and it makes you choose what I'll write for the next 2 or 3 weeks!
 How do we request something?
 In order to send a request, all you have to do is send me an ask through my inbox (please, do not use the dms, it is much harder to manage for me and I will probably forget about your request…). You can choose between 1 and 5 prompts amongst the prompts listed below the cut. The prompts are pieces of dialogue, and it will be my job to imagine a scenario where the characters use these lines. Choose also a character. It has to be a character in my masterlist (at the exception of Billy Russo and Regulus Black, their requests are closed). If you're a little shy, don't hesitate to switch on the anon function, I will still accept your request! Please, only ask for one request, because I want to write for as many people as possible.
And that's it! Super easy, isn't it?
 A sum up?
 In order to get a one-shot:
-Choose a character in my masterlist (except for Billy Russo and Regulus Black, their requests are closed)
-Choose between 1 and 5 prompts that you would like to see appear in your one-shot. There are 100 of them, and they are all gathered below the cut! No need to send me the whole prompt, just send me the number corresponding to your prompts!
-Send me a message through my inbox (no private messages)
-You can only make one request, so choose wisely ;)
-You can ask as an anon if you're a little shy
-I'll be working hard on your request, so a little nice message or at least a 'hello' would be lovely :)
 The requests will be open for 48 hours (September 8 – September 10 2020), and they are open beginning… right now! The duration for the opened requests for the event might change, depending on how many requests I receive.
Please, be understanding that there is no way for me to judge if this event will be popular or not. If I receive too many requests, I won't be able to write all of them. I'm sorry if I don't have time to go to your request, please, be understanding if that happens. But maybe I'll have time to write all of them! It is hard for me to judge beforehand.
I hope you have fun with this event, and thank you all again for your support!
The prompts for the event are listed below. For a few of them, they might include several lines. All prompts are given a number, all you have to do is send me the number corresponding to the prompts you want, no need to type the whole thing in the ask.
Have fun!
NB: I have no idea why so many of those give off some serious idiots in love and idiots to lovers energy, but… it happened…
 1."KISSES!"
 2. "You are too far away."
"I am literally on the couch with you..."
"But are you in my arms? No. See? Too far away."
 3. "If you weren't so cute, I would break your legs right now."
 4. "Wait… are you jealous?"
 5. "Stars and tequila. It's perfect."
"No. Stars, tequila and you. That it perfect."
 6."I think I've made a mistake. Very big mistake. The kind that makes me wonder if I should escape to another country..."
 7. "I WANT MY COOKIES!!"
 8. "Maybe I love you a little too much, and that's why it hurts sometimes."
 9. "Does it hurt?"
"Not that... OUCH!"
 10. "I can't believe you got punched in the face."
"For you. I got punched in the face for you."
 11. "It's dark, and it's late, and I'm cold and I'm drenched with this freaking rain and yet all I can think about is that I love you."
 12. "I know you don't love me. It's okay. I will be whatever you want me to be."
 13. "You don't need to love me for me to love you, you know? That's not how loving works. It would save us all from a lot of pain if it did."
 14. "What do you mean you have a date?"
 15. "I propose that we get excessively drunk and then ruin our lives as a consequence. Sounds good?"
 16. "I'll always be here for you. Don't you know that by now? That I'll never leave?"
 17. "I think we need... to make something explode."
 18. "I'm pretty stupid, aren't I?"
 19. "Huh... is that my shirt you're wearing?"
 20. "I miss you. I hate it. I hate you. I love you."
 21. "I'm proud to be with you."
 22. "So... huh... are we gonna mention that you've just snogged me or...?"
 23. "What do you mean lying to your family about us? What do you mean you need a 'plus one'?"
 24. "I have only one thing to say: that is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Let's do it."
 25. "Huh... were you going to... propose?!"
 26. "Will you marry me?"
 27. "Look... I don't mean to be blunt but... you and me, it's a forever kind of thing. And there's no escape from that."
 28. "Fate? Me loving you, you think it's fate? Nah, it's not fate. It's a choice. I choose to love you and to give you everything I own and everything I am every single day. And that's why what we have is true love."
 29. "Do you have ANY idea of how worried I was about you?"
 30. "I think you've just… puked on my shoes."
 31. "I swear, if you die, I'm going to kill you."
 32. "You're perfect."
 33. "I love you. Do you think you could ever love me too?"
 34. "Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles!"
 35. "I'm sorry. For everything. I'm not going to ask you to forgive me though, cause I know that I don't deserve it."
 36. "Just… shut up and kiss me."
 37. "Please… stay."
 38. "But if you leave now, what am I going to do with the rest of my life?"
 39. "I don't want anything but you."
 40. "You deserve so much more than what I can give you."
 41. "I wish I did, but I don't deserve you."
 42. "You make me so happy, it hurts a little."
 43. "What if we don't make it?"
 44. "Are you… are you bleeding?"
 45. "I… I'm begging you… if you must kill someone, then kill me. But please, please… let him/her go."
 46. "I can't lose you."
 47. "What do you mean… you're pregnant?"
 48. "You are so annoying…"
 49. "You're an idiot. I love you."
 50. "Don't leave me. Don't ever leave me…"
 51. "Well… that was hot."
 52. "So… good morning?"
"We're in the same bed. What the fuck are we doing in the same bed?!"
 53. "I mean, we don't have a choice… there's only one bed. And I am not sleeping on that dirty carpet."
 54. "Us being together, it's a terrible idea."
 55. "LOOK! IT'S SNOWING!"
 56. "This is the worst Halloween costume I have ever seen."
 57. "Promise you'll always love me."
 58. "I need your word. Promise me that you'll come back to me."
 59. "So… does that mean… farewell?"
 60. "I think we’re excellent at making memories.”
 61. "Did you… did you sleep with him/her?"
 62. "Where are you?"
 63. "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"
 64. "Dear God… I'm surrounded by idiots…"
 65. "I don't want you to go with him/her. I want you to choose me instead."
 66. "What if we stayed in bed all day?"
 67. "You fool! Fear my wrath!"
"Babe, you're threatening me with a broccoli, it is not very convincing."
 68. "Karaoke night!"
 69. "I am full of surprises!”
“Sadly, yes, you are...”
 70. "Dance with me. Please?"
 71. "I would do anything to convince you to give me a chance."
 72. "I know it's hard. I know that life keeps on getting in the way. But I love you. I love you with my entire being, and I'm willing to fight for you. I'm willing to fight to keep you."
 73. "Are you… are you crying?"
 74. "Stop stealing my blanket!"
 75. "Happy New Year!"
 76. "Merry Christmas!"
 77. "Is that for me?"
 78. "Happy birthday!"
 79. "So… is that… a date?"
 80. "What do you mean it was a date? It wasn't a date!"
"Of course, it was a date!"
 81. "Well… that… was a good kiss…"
 82. "I'm a complete moron! I'm an idiot! I am the epitome of stupidity! It took me forever to realize it, but now I see it, and I'll be damned if I let you walk away. Because it took me all that time to realize it, but I love you. I love you so much. It's always been you."
 83. "Are you drinking my cocoa?"
 84. "Please, just… hold me. Please, hold me close."
 85. "I'm cold."
"I'll keep you warm."
"Nice try!"
 86. "It hasn't stopped snowing. We're stuck. We're gonna die."
 87. "I AM NOT DYING HERE! IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! WITH YOU!"
"I know that the important information here is that we're gonna die, but I'm very upset that you don't want to do it specifically with me. Why not? I'm a dream!"
 88. "Can I try some of your food?"
 89. "I should have told you long ago."
"Tell me what?"
"That I love you."
 90. "I am not going through a thirty-hours drive with you. There is absolutely no way."
 91. "I used to hate you. Then, I simply disliked you. Now, I hate you all over again."
"Well, the feeling is mutual. But maybe it'll change."
 92. "I really like you."
"I love you."
 93. "Well, if you really were that clever, then you would know that I love you!"
 94. "You have fever, you need to drink this. Come on, now."
 95. "I just… I feel like I'm truly myself when I'm with you. I want to be myself when I'm with you. So now, if you're scared, don't call it love yet. But whatever you want to call it, it's incredible, and I'm not going to give up on this. I'm not going to give up on us."
 96. "You're my home."
 97. "Why is summer so hot?! I'm melting!"
 98. "Have you ever felt like… memories get attached to a word and they almost change their meanings? Like… whenever someone says 'apple' I think of my grandma's pies, to the point that I almost forget that they're talking about the fruit. Well… your name… it's the same for love. When I think of love, I think of you."
 99. "What wish did you make?”
“To spend the rest of my life with you.”
 100. "If you only let me spend the rest of my life with you, I'd be happy with that. I don't ask for anything else, really. My life is complete as long as you're in it."
48 notes · View notes