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downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles · 3 years

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We Met Within This Screen (chapt. 5)

[Donnie x fem reader]

sfw, chapt. 4 here

Just as Donnie had predicted, the night air was cold on his scales. Right upon leaving, Mikey brought up to Leo going in pairs this time, to cover more ground, he said. An extra thorough patrol. Donnie honestly couldn't make up his mind and so by then he was flying by the seat of his pants, not objecting to Mikey's plan, but also not agreeing. He doubted Leo would be convinced, anyway. They didn't do duo patrols that often.

"I was thinking we could split up this time, you know, me and Donnie, you and Raph?" suggested Mikey, closing the manhole behind himself.

"I thought you liked it when we're all together," Leo commented.

Donnie shot Mikey a look, trying to tell him to cool it, but he shrugged, "Come on, it'll be like some kind of training or...something," Mikey went behind Leo and shook his shoulders, "aren't you into that?"

Internally, Donnie facepalmed. Unless he actively tried to stop this, it was going to happen, wasn't it? One way or another, probably; it all depended on how Leo was feeling that night. Raph was indifferent. He didn't care whether they were all together or in pairs, just that he got to flex his combat skills some. If he could, he'd go out and do it on his own, even.

Leo looked around, considering Mikey's suggestion. "Okay," he agreed, eventually. "You and Donnie take East, Raph and I will cover the usual route and then—"

"No," Mikey interjected. Both Leo and Raph's brows furrowed as they stared at their brother. He motioned toward Donnie, "Me and Donnie can take that, you guys just go on ahead," he smiled. "You know I like checking out the skatepark!"

"No skating," Leo said.

"I'll just watch whoever's there, then." He pouted.

Raph snorted. "Yeah, make sure he actually pays attention, Donnie."

"As usual," Donnie sighed, and looked at Leo.

"Well, what do you think, Don?"

The decision is up to me?

Turns out it was his all along, but he wanted to feign innocence in saying that Mikey was the one to drag him through it. Easier to not take responsibility and let life happen at you rather than making a conscious effort, at times.

"I guess we can do that," Donnie answered reluctantly. He could have said no. Why didn't he? In the corner of his eye, he saw Mikey beam, giving him a discreet thumbs up.

"Alright, meet back here by four AM, and if either of you run into big trouble, call. We'll come," Leo said. "Same for us."

"Yeah, we'll holler for ya," added Raph dismissively. "And nah, a big dog doesn't count as trouble, Mikey." He sounded gruff, but in actuality, he was still chuckling to himself over that years later. After they got over being annoyed that he had called them from that far while they were on a supply run. Chased by a junkyard dog—some of their least favorite parts about visiting those places.

"Hey, it was mean! And way fast!" Mikey protested as they parted ways, them taking to the East and red and blue the opposite way.

As per course, Donnie and Mikey took their normal route, and his heart skipped a beat when they met the scene of their last run-in with criminals. Not because of them, no, but because of the familiar apartment building that was now more intimidating than he'd expected. They circled the area like they normally would have, but Mikey came to stop them on a roof just opposite of the complex, eyes searching each window. Obscured by the height of the building, he sat on the edge.

Donnie didn't know what to do with himself. He stood back a good ten feet, somehow paranoid of being spotted even though he knew it was not possible from their angle in the complex. Mikey was comfortable, and weirdly at peace as he sat there quietly on the edge, assumed to be waiting for his brother to make a move. But Donnie was stuck in place.

"What are you waiting for, D?"

The sudden question broke him from his stillness. It was true; he didn't know what he was waiting for.

"I—I don't know what you want me to do, what are you thinking?" Donnie asked in return, stepping back a little further as he noticed movement behind the curtains of a lit window.

"Get your phone out and talk to her," Mikey told him, waving his hand at the apartments. "What did we come out here for if you aren't gonna make it right, bro? Do some smooth talk, tell her you're sorry and you wanna get to know her better…"

"This is absolutely a ridiculous plan," Donnie said, though as if his hands had thought of their own, they reached for his phone, and a moment later he was looking at the messages. Still nothing. Radio silence on both of their ends. How would he approach it? "I'm sorry I went from hot to cold so fast. Please talk to me again." Too strong. "Sorry, can we get a redo?" Too casual. "I'd like to apologise for being a jerk." Okay, that's just not good. Reconciling was going to be as difficult as he'd thought it would be.

Mikey came over and looked at his phone screen and his brother floundering, thumbs stuttering across the keyboard, deleting the text, retyping it over and over again for perfection where he wasn't going to find any–

"I got this, let Love Doctor Mikey handle it," he said, taking the phone right from Donnie's hand.

"You've never been in a relationship, not even talked to anyone, how would you—"

Mikey shushed him. Donnie was going to snatch the phone away but he spun around, draping himself over his shoulder. "Just let me work my magic, dude!"

Donnie couldn't watch; he had to turn away. How sure he was that Mikey was going to say something uncalled for, something weird or bone-headed, and the wait was killing him. What if she didn't even respond? Was that better than doing damage control for Mikey's shenanigans? For someone usually decisive, he could not for the life of him make up his mind about what he wanted at that very instance.

The phone vibrated.

Mikey cheered. "Got her on the line, now you just gotta reel 'em in," he grinned, handing the phone back to Donnie.

"Hey :/

I thought you wanted to stop?"

Mikey kept trying to lean over to catch a glimpse of the screen, but Donnie felt that it was a personal moment, so without skipping a beat, he activated the electric current in his staff and poked it behind him into his brother's plastron.

"Fine," Mikey whined. He stepped in one last time, "But don't hold out on me here!"

Trying to find an graceful way to patch this all up, Donnie replied:

"I apologise for that, and I know you probably want an explanation, but it's hard to explain

Moment of weakness?

I guess...

Anyway. I'm not expecting you to suddenly be cool with it, if you don't want to talk to me I understand

Sorry."

Mikey noticed Donnie's dismal expression and he mellowed out accordingly, standing close but not putting a hand on him, nor saying anything. He didn't watch the phone, but Donnie's face and slumped shoulders. He'd thought it would have been going better by now.

"I won't lie, I'm still confused

But if you're going through something, I'm right here for you

Don't worry about it. Just don't give me a spook like that again, I thought it was me

lol

Okay it's not funny but this is a little awkward"

Donnie's heart sank reading that. He'd made her feel bad, even question herself over his problem. Never had he wanted to make her think it was her that drove him off.

"No, no, it was never you

Again, I can't really explain…

Is it okay if we just try this again?

I understand if not."

"Jeez Bo, I already said it's alright

I WANT to keep talking to you, you're cool

So let's forget about it, yeah?

Friends again :) "

And like that, his heart took a leap. A smile slowly spread across his face, and without looking away from the screen, grabbed Mikey by the shell, pulling him toward. "Look at this!" he exclaimed.

"You see it too?" he quirked, pointing at the apartment complex across the road.

Donnie paused and looked over his shoulder at him, "What?"

On one of the balconies sat a lone girl, on her phone, and if Mikey looked hard enough, he could see a smile. Definitely a smile.

"Ah!" yelped Donnie quietly. He scurried back against the wall of the attached building behind him, as far as he could.

"Dude! Come on, this is perfect!" Mikey nudged him, and when he didn't hop up onto his feet, dragged his brother near the edge of the roof. Donnie was boneless but unwilling, his mind stuck on the fact that she thought he was cool. Him, cool. Was he? She didn't know even the half of it. She didn't know he was a martial artist, technically a genius, and that he'd gone against some of the worst the city had to offer. And without that, she still thought he was cool, as an average guy.

As average as what my circumstances will allow me to be.

Feet dragging all the way, Donnie's stomach did a flip as they met the ledge, peering carefully over it in a crouch. They were prone, watching the girl who was completely unaware of their presence. He was, simply put, enraptured, for a second there, studying her features as much as he could from where they were. The details of her face were not distinct due to the distance, but he could tell she was both nothing like he'd imagined and so much more. For once, he didn't immediately question the validity of the situation; there was no "it could be a coincidence", or "it's too unlikely that she would be out just as they were". Not right away. But it hit him when Mikey spoke.

"You're so lucky, D," he said wistfully. "Really." Head rested on his forearm, his gaze fell on not one thing, but the whole scene, a somber smile gracing him. He was excited, happy for his brother. But deep down, Donnie knew that though Mikey wasn't envious of him in a resentful way, it had to have stung to witness such a thing unfold for someone not himself. Their youngest had always craved connection the most. He looked away from the girl, "I wasn't gonna let you throw away an awesome chance, was I?"

Releasing a heavy breath, Donnie crawled away from the edge, but his eyes remained on that balcony. It was weird to watch someone who didn't know they were being watched. Not in that context.

"I...guess I may be," Donnie responded. But it would only get more complicated from there. His phone vibrated, breaking his trance, and the message he found read:

"Anyways, with that out of the way, what are you doing?"

Just watching you from a roof, nothing much, Donnie thought.

"Currently out enjoying the night"

"Isn't it kinda cold?"

"What about you?"

He knew what he meant, because he was there watching her as a chilled breeze rolled through, but she told him she wasn't doing anything. Only relaxing and talking to him.

It took him a few minutes to get his bearings. To know that he now had tangible evidence that she was a girl, an ordinary person, and that said person really thought he was cool. Worth the effort. He felt exceedingly difficult for not being able to give her a rightful explanation, but comforted by the fact that he wasn't being demanded of one. He felt light. Almost weightless, with Mikey next to him instead of his other cynical, skeptical brothers. For a moment, he had nothing to worry about.

From across the roof, he could still see the yawn escape her mouth. Probably an indicator that it was time to wrap things up. He didn't want her to stay up too late; it was already odd that she was up at such an hour, almost two AM, but glad nonetheless.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah

I think I'm gonna hit the hay

So goodnight, Bo

Talk to you later (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞"

She got up, leaning on the railing which faced them.

"I want to stay up with you but—"

Donnie sucked in a sharp breath as she looked up, just barely able to see from underneath the balcony above her. He snagged the strap on Mikey's shell and yanked him back with him away from the edge of the roof, taking cover behind the wall.

"Shit," hissed Donnie, "do you think she saw us?"

These shells, they make us look so big!

"Relax, bro, even if she did, it was only a little bit. Besides, we could be anyone from this far, they don't have pigeon vision."

"You mean 'eagle vision'?"

"They're both birds!"

Donnie deadpanned and peeked over the wall. She'd gone in. Three minutes later, he hadn't gotten any texts yet about something weird on the rooftops, so he could finally relax, groaning lightly. "Too close," he breathed out, "Mikey, we need to go, Leo's going to notice we're not back in time if we don't hurry up and get the rest of this route done."

"Already on it," he whooped, vaulting onto the next roof.

As Donnie was scaling the wall of the attached building, he felt his phone vibrate, and curious, he checked it one last time before getting on his way.

"One question before I go

You ever see stuff you can't explain but even if you did you'd sound crazy?"

Oh, no.

"No, I don't."

Chapter 6

#donatello x reader #tmnt donnie #tmnt fanfiction #donnie x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt x reader #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt bayverse #donatello #leonardo #raphael #michelangelo #fanfiction #leo #donnie #raph #mikey #tmnt

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genesisrose74 · 3 years

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Christmas with the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 1: Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita

Part 2 (Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita) here!!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Daichi

A huge romantic during Christmas, 10/10 quality cliche times spent together

You wanna go ice skating? Hell yeah sweetheart, he will make it the most beautifully romantic thing you’ve ever seen

Like straight out of a holiday postcard type beat

Istg the rink he takes you to looks like a more heartwarming version of Rockefeller Center

He’s a big keeper of tradition when it comes to making plans, but doesn’t mind a bit of nonsense fun when everything falls into place

Which is why you love to bring the team along on adventures because they make everything all the more entertaining

At first he’s confused like ??? You don’t have to do that just if they’ve been pestering you about it

But then he realizes you care as much about them as he does (hint: a hell of a lot) and they’re thus invited along for some stuff

Of course y’all also get some quality time together on dates with just you both

Anyways you and Daichi have talked a lot about traveling and how he was really interested in seeing new places

So as his gift you got him a carved map with a roll of red string and thumbtacks, so that he could plan out all the places he wanted to visit

You know how when Kiyoko found the “Fly” banner for Karasuno and all the boys cried?

Yeah

Like that but with lots more hugging and laughing

“You know you’re gonna have to help with mapping this out, right?”

“Is that an invitation I hear?”

“Oh, that’s a promise”

FJSFJDSK ALEXA PLAY AMERICAN BOY BY ESTELLE—

Please I love him; he is so damn sly and sassy I will die with this headcanon

Sugawara

I swear on everything that Christmas with him is equivalent to a Hallmark movie

It smells like joy and warmth wherever he is, and this season only amplifies it

He is such a cheeseball without even having to try

But it’s in the really endearing and heart-melting way,,, just MMM PERFECT

He’ll take you on a walk through those neighborhoods with those crazy light decorations in the front yard and buy you hot chocolate

If he sees a group of little kids gaping at all the lights, he’ll leave them starry-eyed with stories of magic, reindeer, Santa and so-forth

“You know, I’ve heard that Rudolph’s nose is supposed to be brighter than the world’s most powerful Christmas light”

Good heavens, children absolutely adore this man

Anyways he’ll make it a little game as y’all walk around this beautifully lit neighborhood, both of you with a different assortment of bingo squares printed on paper

First one to bingo chooses a movie to watch after getting back to Suga’s house

Will wrap a big fluffy blanket around you both and pull you into his chest while watching the movie

For his gift, you got a star named after him

It’s because y’all alway go stargazing for dates every month, just to sit out, talk and cuddle

Suga gave you the SOFTEST look after opening your gift and this cute little card you made 🥺

“Lets go try to find my new favorite star”

PLEASE HE IS SO SWEET

“Right now? Koushi it’s 11:30 pm”

“Just for ten minutes, and then I’ll get you home”

So y’all spend the rest of Christmas Eve on his roof, sipping warm tea and attempting to locate Star Suga

Asahi

Cuddle bear alert ‼️‼️

It’s basically hibernation time for him, because he’s not the biggest fan of cold

That’s alright with you though 😌 more coziness for you

Lots of quality moments indoors means more creative dates

A whole day devoted to chill present wrapping? Hell fuckin’ yeah

Nice music, pretty wrapping paper, shiny bows, maybe a little Christmas rom-com playing in the back — the whole shebang

You find out pretty quickly that despite how it sounds, it’s actually quite a satisfying and enjoyable pastime

Practically had to drag him out of your living room to secretly wrap his own gift

As much as he’s the king of timidity and soft™, he can be very playfully stubborn when he’s comfortable, hence why he was such an ass to get out of the room

I have no doubt that Asahi would melt for the most adorable, cheesy shit

So you not only bought him some really reliable headbands for volleyball use, but you also made a little coupon booklet

He can basically cash in paper promises for certain things, like getting to choose the next date idea, picking a movie to watch without any objection, having you make his favorite food, etc.

There’s one that he can exchange for a full out spa day trip, because good heavens he’s a sucker for those

Massage and exfoliation and everything — it makes him feel ✨refreshed✨

He was ecstatic fam, I don’t even know what to say

Like a puppy who just got a bunch of toys and a new backyard to play

Mans cashes in one almost immediately, and at first you’re confused

Like it’s Christmas time bubs, what are we gonna be able to do when most places are closed and it’s the holidays?

Then you read the paper

“Free hug (can be used and renewed <3)”

GIVE HIM HIS DAMN HUGS RIGHT NOW

He uses that one a lot throughout the upcoming days, to the point where he just keeps the paper on him for fun

“You realize you can just ask me silly, you don’t need to keep carrying the coupon around”

“Yeah, but it’s entertaining”

Cute little cheeky bastard

Nishinoya

LOVES LOVES LOVES CHRISTMAS

You know the 12 Days of Christmas? The song??

He gets you a small present EVERY DAY for all 12 days

Not to mention he has a big present that he saves for the actual holiday

Y’all are the type of couple to get ice cream in the middle of winter

Nishi loves his cold snacks any time of year, and you’ve thus picked up a similar taste

He will consistently pester you about what kind of present you got him

Gets pouty when you don’t tell him, but in the back of his mind he’s glad because it would ruin the surprise

Anything you get him instantly becomes his most prized gift tho

It could be a literal rock with googly eyes and he’d put it in a protective glass case for preservation

But of course you get him something better than that because he only deserves the best

He’s got this specific assortment of products to maintain his spiky hair and to make sure it’s healthy, but they’re pretty expensive to buy when he runs out

When he tore open your present’s decorative wrapping to discover a huge basket of basically every hair product he ever needed, he got wide-eyed

There was also a booklet of little notes you’d kept throughout the month that listed all the little things you noticed and adored about your precious boyfriend

He nearly CRIED reading them

“Baby, you didn’t have to do all that for me”

“You act like you don’t deserve all of it and more, Nishi”

Refuses to leave your side after that

Holding your hand, hugging you as tight as he can, etc.

He is head over heels idc idc

Tanaka

Another man who is obsessed with the holiday season and everything that comes with it

He is the biggest sap for this shit istg

Will spend hours trying to get you the best present of all time

And he succeeds exceptionally

Mistletoe? He’s got an ABUNDANCE on hand at any time, just to make sure he can get fair share of his kissies 🥰

His signature beanie appears in full force during winter

Sometimes you’ll pull it over his eyes before giving him a peck on the cheek and dashing off in the school halls

“I’ll see you after school, babe!”

Speech = jumbled + incomprehensible

“Uh hUh, you do that~”

He’s: adorable

I just know that he melts for really sweet and thought-out gifts

Like anything you give him he’ll adore, don’t get me wrong, but the ones done with special care and love are just his kryptonite

He brought you into a massive bear hug and spun you around when he opened a photo book of old pictures taken together, complete with lots of cute messages and anecdotes written alongside them

You and Saeko may have also gone in on another present for him without his knowledge

And on Christmas Eve, you dragged a curious Tanaka into his front yard to the sight of a shiny motorbike

It was Saeko’s old one that she’d held onto for a while, and an old schoolmate offered to fix it up nice in time for the holiday at a discount, so y’all decided to divvy up the lowered price and got it done for Ryu

Sweet boy was taken aback, with his hands clapped over his mouth and everything

Saeko patted him on the back as he stood there in shock, giving her baby brother a sweet smile

“All yours, little bro!”

Ya, Saeko fucking loves you 😌 and so does Tanaka

Overall very lovely, would cry to be loved by the Tanaka siblings

Ennoshita

After spending past Decembers with his fellow second year classmates (namely, the very enthusiastic Noya and Tanaka), he’s grown to know quite a bit about the different holiday events that go on around town

Still, Ennoshita is a pretty simplistic guy and is content with simply spending time with you

So when you recommended going to pick a Christmas tree out for your place together, he’s totally down

As long as he gets to help decorate too ☺️

Y’all end up picking a beauty of a tree ngl

It’s SO TALL

And a super stronk friend — fit for the most heavy duty of ornaments

It takes some damn work to get that bad boi inside and upright after driving back to your house

But like hell did that stop you

Now that it was all set up, sturdy, and given plenty of water, decorations were brought into the equation that same night

No rest until it’s all set up and looking mighty beautiful

Okay maybe some coffee breaks in between, but other than that the grind don’t stop ✋😤

Ennoshita is an expert at making Christmas trees look absolutely immaculate

Idk if it’s because he’s had to deal with cleaning up disorder for a while now?

Looking at you, ya second year loons

He just has the touch, fam

He’ll of course let you have input on which light colors, what type of ornaments, and so on

But honestly it’s really fun seeing him fully concentrated on making your tree the best it can be

He lets you on his shoulders to put on the tree topper 🥺

For his gift, Ennoshita really loves books, so you decided to get him 12 different (hardcover!!) stories — one for each month in a year

Along with a small sticky-note blurb on the covers of each to explain why you chose it, and to give similar title recommendations if he ends up enjoying

He was so surprised with how thoughtful and extensive it was

Loved it so much that he immediately started to read the first one, with you sat in his lap

“Chikara, you realize you’re meant to start this one in January?”

“Shh, I’m getting a head start”

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kasey-writes-stuff · 3 years

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Woo I wrote this really quickly so it’s probably terrible and I’m not sure how everyone feels about IRL fics so if you wanna pretend this isn’t IRL and is in DSMP and Karl is gone on one of his time travel things then do it 🧡

Sapnap had been hanging with Quackity and trying to show off some of his new skate skills he had been learning and it was all going good until the kick flip…. Sapnap’s board suddenly flew out from under him as he went to do the trick and he landed hard on his back! Quackity quickly came over to check on him

“Dude you good?!” Sap groaned slightly as he slowly sat up “yea I’m fine dude” he attempted to get up but immediately winced, okay he was definitely not good but he didn’t feel like anything was broken so he got up groaning slightly as he grabbed his board, Alex nodded softly frowning at his groaning and wincing “Come on let’s head back to my place and I’ll get you an ice pack or give you a massage or something” he smile softly eyebrows raising slightly at the latter half of his sentence it mainly being a joke but he couldn’t help but notice the immediate blush the latter part of his sentence seemed to bring on to sap’s face “a-an ice pack will be fine no massage needed I’m all good man”

And so soon enough they were back at Alex’s place, sap immediately flopped onto the couch with a loud groan as Alex quickly went to make him an ice pack, he wrapped it in a small towel so it wouldn’t be totally freezing and quickly returned to the living room “where do you want it?” Sap hummed softly in thought as he wasn’t really sure where it hurt the most he just settled for “I guess just the middle of my back is good thanks man” Alex nodded softly as he carefully set it on his back, sap shivered very slightly from the cold and Alex apologized “sorry should I wrap another towel around it?” Sap shook his head softly “no it’s fine I’ll get used to it”

Alex nodded and then took a seat on the floor near sapnaps head, his mind was still swirling wondering why the mention of a massage made sapnaps face so red earlier I mean he knows sap isn’t the best at first with physical contact but there was something different about this blush and the way he stuttered a bit as well “hey sapnap” “yea?” “Earlier when I offered to give you a massage why’d you get all red and stuttery?” Sapnap felt his cheeks heating up again but luckily with his head buried into a pillow on the couch Quackity couldn’t see it “I-uh I don’t know what you’re talking about man” Quackity’s eyebrow raised as he says “no no no you definitely know what I’m talking about so come on man why’d you react like that?” He carefully reached out and prodded his side a few times, causing for sap to jerk and wince as he squeaked “look man I- EEK! NOhoho don’t!” Quackity blinked a few times in surprise before he quickly smirked as his mind connected the dots

“Oh I see… little sappy is too ticklish for a massage isn’t he?” Sapnaps voice nearly cracked as he quickly replied “what?! No! I’m not even t-t-ti… that! So shut up man!” Alex snickered softly “yea sure you’re not because you totally didn’t squeak when I poked you and you totally can say the word..” Alex titled his head slightly as he thought to himself wait that doesn’t make any sense, he knows plenty of people who are ticklish but can still say the word “wait dude why can’t you say the word” sap felt butterflies exploding in his stomach as he says “w-what do you mean? I can totally say it” Alex shakes his head softly chuckling “Well if you can say it then come on man say it” sap nodded “fine I will! Quackity! I’m not- I’m not…. I’m not t-t-tic-tick…” he huffed softly before sighing “fine maybe I can’t say it” Alex smiled and clapped excitedly “HA! See I knew you couldn’t say it! So now sapnap my question is why can’t you say it hmm? Is there some sort of specific reason?”

Sapnaps face heated up even more as he shakes his head “n-no no reason I just it’s just I just I’ve never been able to say it” Quackity shrugged to himself softly it was seemingly believable and he could just be stuttering because he’s embarrassed about not being able to say such a simple word but something nagged at him to press on and so he did “right so you just randomly can’t say tickle? Can you say any variation of it ya know tickling, ticklish, tickles, or can you not say any of them” sapnaps cheeks could no longer hold his intense blush and so the red began to travel to his ears “I- uh I no… I can’t say any of them…” Quackity was quick to notice his red ears and to point it out “bro your ear is really red like cherry red?! Are you good? Is little sappy embarrassed about not being able to say the word tickle hmm?” He giggled softly as he gently removed the ice pack from sapnaps back and began softly massaging it

Sap squeaked and flinched breaking into soft giggles “EEK quhuhuahahacckkihihittyyy nohohoho!” Quackity practically melted at the sweet giggles pouring from sapnap but that didn’t stop his teasy nature “awe you really are too ticklish for massages aren’t you? That’s pretty adorable man” sapnap shook his head as he giggled “shuhuhutttt uhuhuppp ihihittsss nhahahttt ahahaddohohorrrhahabbllheheEEE NOT THERE PLEASE!” Suddenly Quackitys hands had begun to drift upwards towards sapnaps shoulders and neck making him squeal and scrunch up, Alex smirked softly “ticklish neck sappy?” Desperate to try and keep up his tough persona he tried to deny it “NOHO ihittss juhuhusstt yoouurrr hahandss ahahrrhehe CCChohollddd” Alex nodded “right so if I-“ he began drumming his fingers across sapnaps neck and shoulders making him wiggle and scrunch as he shrieked and laughed “AaHh QUACKITY AHAHAHA NHAHHAHAHAHA IHIHITTSSS SOHOHO BAHAHHAADD” Alex smirked to himself as he stopped and completely removed his hands from sapnap “oh so you want me to stop then? If it’s so bad then I’ll stop” sapnaps face dropped once his residual giggles stopped, was he really making him ask for it… dang Quackity is so evil “well I- well you see it’s just I…” Alex snickered softly “what you didn’t mean it or something?” Sapnap nodded shyly and Alex laughed “Thanks for admitting it that’s all I wanted!” He quickly began kneading and massaging all around sapnaps shoulders and neck making him shriek once more as he fell back into loud laughter as he wiggled around “aAhH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA FFRRIHIHICCKKK MHAHAHNNN HAHAHAHAHAHHAA”

Alex shook his head softly as he smiled happily “you’re so ticklish man it’s unbelievable” Sapnap shouted through his laughter “SHUHUHUTT UHUHUPPP IHIHI BEHEHETTT YYOOUURRR WOHOHORRRSSHEHEE” unbenknowst to sapnap Quackity started blushing a very bright red “I- I am not so hush!” Quackity experimentally gave the area where sapnaps sides met his back a squeeze and was met with a squeal as sapanps body arched up “EEP NAHAHA!” Quackity quickly tried to regain his composure as to capitalize on this new discovery “oh what’s this is this a good spot sapnap? I guess I better massage here too make sure to help take away the pain here!” Sapnap said through laughter “BUHUHUTTT IHIHITTT DOHEHEEESSNNTT HUHUHRRTTT THEHEHEEREHEHEEE” Quackity shrugs and says “well then I’ll just squeeze here for fun then” and so Quackity kept the squeezing for a good minute or two leaving sapnap squealing between laughter the whole time before he stops and sapnap is left giggling residually

His back still hurt a bit as he turned over but he had to admit it did feel much better “uhuhuh thahahnkss” he awkwardly giggled out not sure what to say, Alex smiled as he says “anytime man anytime” Sapnap raises up smiling before smirking softly “so what was that earlier you stuttering when I said you’re probably worse than I am”

And so it was now Quackity’s turn to be a laughing, squealing mess

The end

#mcytickle month #lee!sapnap!#ler!quackity

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bao3bei4 · 3 years

Text

kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right.

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one.

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked.

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did.

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction.

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere.

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015.

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found.

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you.

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom.

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people.

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right.

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age.

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible.

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses.

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad!

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare).

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever.

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about.

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story.

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.)

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf.

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes.

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god.

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair.

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah.

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010.

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it.

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu.

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video.

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories.

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably.

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious.

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to.

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended.

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see.

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down.

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not.

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place.

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine!

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them.

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.)

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad.

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again.

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies.

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

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girloikawa · 4 years

Text

it’s cannon that jeremy takes jean on a road trip across the states since our boy jean has seen 0% of america

• they go from california to new york (but they don’t go to virginia) and fly back

• jeremy desperately wanted jean to see renee again but it was so far off (with them staying clear of virginia), so they couldn’t make it to SC

• bc of that, jeremy surprises jean with renee in new york (she flies up) and they all have a fun time™️

• in nevada, they go to LA but jean can’t handle alcohol well bc he didn’t have it much in edgar allen so they have to leave early

• they share beds in kansas at an inn with a very sweet owner who totally doesn’t think they’re boyfriends

• “why are we even doing this” “i wanna show you the world!!” “these are corn fields” “that feed the world!!”

• along with the fun nights, though, there are also the nights where everything’s quiet and a bit somber. jean has tried so hard to forget his past, but it won’t go away

•jeremy notices, of course, (for some reason, he notices everything about jean) and on the nights jean looked distressed he would tell a story—about his family, the team, or just something stupid—to cheer him up. (jeremy: “do you need something to squeeze” “like a stress ball?” “like my hand” “oh”)

• jean.......learns.......how.........to........drive!!!! he’s very bad, but, somehow, graceful

• THEY TOTALLY GO TO NASHVILLE AND FIND SOME GOOD OLE COUNTRY MUSIC TO DANCE TO AND TAKE PICTURES WITH WAY TOO BIG BOOTS

• oh, yeah. pictures. jeremy needs to get more storage after the trip because he has Way Too Many phots of jean half-smiling in a content kind of way

• alvarez, afterwards: “bro, you have too many pictures of him. it’s borderline creepy.”

• jeremy, in retaliation: “okay but he has a wonderful face.”

• we KNOW jean tries to teach jeremy french or at least some french terms during this thing. but

• jeremy makes a Road Time Playlist full of taylor swift songs and by the end of the trip jean is humming along

• “this song...again?” “OOOO WOAH ITS A CRUUUEEEL SUUUUMMMMEERRRR” “yeah. it is”

• jean: “how are you even paying for this?” jeremy: “i have my ways...” jean: “please don’t say you’re involved with the mafia i. cannot. take. anymore. mafia. shit.” jeremy: “jesus absolute christ”

• jeremy stops them at a rest stop (which did not, in fact, stop grossing jean out no matter the amount of times they stopped at one) to look at the stars ⭐️ and this convo happens:

• “thank you” “for???” “for giving me something to live for”

• jeremy realizes that he wants to kiss jean. he doesn’t kiss him.

• one word: audiobooks. they find some very good (and very bad books) and they have intellectual!discussions

• they go ice skating in pennsylvania and jean cannot stop falling (“ruthless in the court but can’t balance on a bit of ice, huh?” “IM STANDING ON KNIVES, JEREMY. KNVIVES.”)

• renee sees jean actually smiling and she’s just so happy that she got him out of edgar allen

• they decide to go for a midnight stroll in new york, the city quiet and nothing between them

• jean: “I’m glad we did this”

• “me too”

• “it’s gonna be weird to play exy after all this”

• “what?”

• “...jean, you’ve been through hell and back. the last thing i want to do is say the wrong thing.”

• “just say it.”

• “i want to kiss you.”

• “do it.”

• and this time he does.

#this happens and it was glorious #aftg #jerejean #jeremy knox #jean moreau #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #andriel #foxes #this is ridiculous #but im trash for them so

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cutesmokes · 2 years

Text

So I just finished watching SK8 infinity and just-

AH. I was taking notes most of the time because that helps me pin point on how strongly I felt about stuff lol ahh anyone who wants to chat I'm fully open cuz wow-

SPOILERS-

THE WAY LANGA'S FACE LIT UP WHEN HE NAILED THE OLLIE- 💞💞💞

the fox is so cute ksishdbsnjs

Adam is so hard-core gay. Jerk wad but EHHHSHJSHSHSHS I love/hate him

CHERRY AND JOE ARE SUCH A OLD MARRIED COUPLE PLEASE-

"YOU DOPPY GORILLA"

"Your boy here is next up against adam" lol shadow low-key is shipping them [I can't blame him]

The bad daydream Reki had and how he screamed out for him-

The freaking laughter- PLEASE they all have such cute laughs- help

"hello~"

"You're too close-.."

JUST KISS ALREADY ANJSJDHJDS

langa and Keri CARE about each other so much please- jshshdhsb I'm gonna cry really hard.

THE RED CARPET- ADAM IS SO EXTRA KSJSHGE

bro- when Adam gave langa the roses I legit smelled them wat-

LANGA YOU PHYCOOOOOOOOO- he's so bad- mmmmmm

HE FLEW OVER HIMMMSHDVDHBSBD HOLY GSJSIHS

THE RAPID TAP DANCING PLEJAHS

The ending is killing me the music is just- 💋 😘 makes me happy

O h n o t h e b e a c h e p I s o d e

Carla and cherry' relationship- 💖

THE WAY THEY DICHED SHADOW SJDBDNJS

LANGA IS SO EXITED TO SEE A BEACH JSJSHSGHSJS PLEASEEEE IM CRYING

"Don't worry Bae I'll protect you"

WHEN JOE FORGET CHERRY WAS A MAN

langa had to make the sign of the cross before going to the bathroom-

THIS IS COOL AS FRICK

NSJSJDJDJUD I HAVE NO WORDSSSSS

best episode so far

ARE YOU JUDGING ITS SKILLS?!?!?!

NO MORE SHIP FULE SKSIDHHDJD

PLAKEJS

AWH langas mama is so sweet Frick

" out-of-the-way cinnamon stick boy"

"I will not be insulted by a feckless ape!"

Langa. Is now. My son. Oh no-

Awh- reki…he's a outcast- 😢

S h a d o w is strong but soffftt.. djdghdjs

So is Adam's secretary- he's such a simp for adam and jsut- he's so sofftbsjshhs helppp

I almost never cry at anything but dang- reki is breaking my heart.

OH DANG- MY DUDE LEGIT SAID NO TO DEATH-

ahhhhhdjsjgdhdhd HES SO IN LOVE REKIII

how much you wanna bet his heart was beating because of red boi-

DANG- ADAM'S SECRETARY WENT AGAINST ORDERS XHDHHDHD good for him.

AJSJHSHAHAHAHHAHA LANGA LEGIT JUST- CAME OUT TO HIM MOOOMSJJSHSHEHAHAHHAHAHAHSGHSJA

"what girl?" LOLOKANAMJALMAOSJSHGAAAAA

I WAS RIGHT SJSJHSGSGS HIS WHOLE REASON IS BECAUSE OF REKI PLEASE MY HEART

ADAM LEGIT SMACKED THE PONYTAIL OUTTA CHERRY WITH HIS BOARD DANGBSJSJSHGD

AWH THE WAY JOE JUST PICKED CHERRY UP-

SHADOW GOT BASHED FOR HIS GIRL AND REKI IS A WRECK- he's so depressed but everyone is encouraging him and i-

AHHHHH THEYRE TALKING AGAIIINNNN HEHEHDGGR

MIDNIGHT SKATEBOARDING

" it's who I skate with that defines my feelings"

LANGA FLUSTERED REKI MMMMMMMMMM

STOP SPEAKING AND KISS GOSH DANG

"I want to skate infinitely with you"

PLEASE THEY ALMOST MADE A HEART WITH THEIR HANDSSSS

THE BOIS WERE TRYING TO TEACH SKETCHY [I think that's how you spell the fox's name] TO BOARD AND THEY JUST- KICKED THEM IN THEIR FACE JSHDBDBDHDHSJJS

The way they look at each other please

REKI GOT WRECKED INTO THE GRASS KSJDGDHJD

LANGAAAA SAVE YOUR BOI

REKI IS BACK YESSSSS

" I can't tell if you're trying to kill me or proposing marriage" IM ROLLING HAHAHAHHWHSBSJHS ADAM NO.

PLEASE- THE WAY PEOPLE STARTED LAUGHING AT ADAM. I feel bad but lol his rage is hilarious

He's like a gay Karen

AWH MIA SECRETLY CRYING IN THE CORNER BECAUSE OF THAT "SLIME", REKIIII. They have such a brother bond- my heart is melting

Langa is so soft- he's genuinely kinda concerned about Adam because he's been alone for so long

HES ALWAYS COMPLIMENTING REKI PLEASE

WERE AT THE FINAL BRAWL LETS GOOOOOOOO

ADAM LOWKEY DRESSED LIKE THE GRIM REAPER LAOAKSJJAKAJAHA

MAN they teleported into their own realm holy wow-

LANGA NOO DONT FORGET YOUR BOY NEEDS YOU

YOUR WORLD IS EMPTY WITHOUT HIM YOU KNOW THAT

NO HE SAW HIS DAAAAD WAAAAAAAAA

LANGA CAME BACK FOR ADAM PLEASE

HES SO BAD BUT SO PRECIOUS MMMMMMM

Cherry gotta chill- lol

LANGA WON AND JUMPED AT KERI DHJSUSGD

THAT WAS ALMOST A KISS YOU TURD BUTT

OH NO SHADOWS CRUH HAD MAN NOOO

BRO ADAM LOVES TADASHI NZJSHSBSJISB PLEASE

GOD THE ENDING

THAT'S JUST

NAJSYSGVDHHSBS AHHHHHHHHHGDHSJEHSHSJHSHSin short that was beautiful. Will watch again I gotta watch horror or something my heart is exploding

#sk8 the infinity #anime #sobbing #this was adorable

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switchbrainedholylime · 3 years

Text

A little more Renga for @emmettspeakz

Sitting next to Reki in English class was beyond awkward. Any kind of harmless small-talk Langa tried to bring in was shot down like a submarine missile. The worst part was that Langa barely knew any of his other classmates, so there was no one to turn to at school.

Their teacher, an American woman named Ms. Boyer, was stood in the front of the class, “Kyan Reki!”

Silence. The American woman walked closer. “Read pages 23-27 of The Chronicles of Narnia.”

“Oh, sure,” And with one mutter, Kyan Reki had just made Narnia out of to be the most boring place ever. He stood up, nearly tripping over the legs of his chair. He mumbled through the reading and then sat back down.

“Langa Hasegawa, pick up where he left off.”

“Right,” Langa looked down at the pages. “Edward followed Lucy into the wardrobe. He thought he was better than his siblings.”

Langa continued to read the portion assigned out to his class and then sat back down. He looked over at Reki, “Hey, you did a great job.”

“Hm,” Reki looked away.

----------

After everyone was shuffling to go home, Ms. Boyer halted Langa from skating down the hallway. Her arms crossed. “Be real with me, what’s going on with you and Reki?”

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Yes. Now are you gonna tell me or not? Because I might know a person who could help you.”

“Really,” Langa blinked. “Sure, what’s their name?”

“They’re a middle school teacher. Follow me,”

“A middle school teacher?” Langa asked. What could they know about me?

------

In the staff room, Langa spotted a bound book with his name on the spine sitting on his English teacher’s desk. Curious, the Canadian picked it up and began to flip through casually until he came to a startling conclusion; it was a book about every detail of his life up to that point.

It started off with his upbringing in Canada as as snowboarder and move back to Okinawa with his mother after his father’s death. It described him meeting Reki, working at the shop. It described his race with Shadow, Miya and ADAM to the T. It was the most in-depth analysis of it he’d seen.

“Hasegawa, right?” A gruff voice interrupted. “My name’s Mr. Tsuchigomori. I see you’ve found your book.”

“Y-Yeah, where did you even GET this?”

“I run the 4pm library. One of the 7 mysteries of the old school building. I’ve only seen the description of those books change once in a hundred years; and it wasn’t pleasant.”

“They tell the future, too?” Langa flipped through towards the back. He hadn’t seen much left to go after his challenge with ADAM. He turned to the last page that read: “DIES CUTTING HEAD ON ROCK WHILE RACING WITH ADAM”.

Langa almost dropped the book on the floor. He was going to race with Adam in a week’s time. He was going to die in it?

“I’d make up with that Reki kid while you still have time.” Mr. Tsuchigomori blew into his cigar. “You can try to prolong your life, but again, this book never really changes that often from what it originally predicts.”

“But I’m terrible at smalltalk. Is there anyone you think could help me?”

“Well, there is one person, and he also happens to be the only one who’s ever changed his fate. If anyone can help you, it’s him.” Mr. Tsuchigomori turned back to Langa. “Since you don’t have much time left, you’ll probably be able to see him, too.”

“’Him’?” Langa asked.

------

Langa went into the old building that served as its middle school section. The blue-haired skater looked back and forth to make sure no one was looking.

“Alright the coast is clear,” Langa bit his tongue and bolted into the girls’ bathroom. He was met with a green-tipped girl who was mopping the floor and a floating boy in an antique uniform. Was that from the 50s? 60s? Why was there a boy in the girls’ bathroom?

Then again, I’M a boy in a girls’ bathroom. I shouldn’t judge. Langa breathed deeply. “Are you Yugi Amane, the one Mr. Tsugomori spoke of?”

“Yep! I go by Hanako, now though...,”

“I have one week left to prevent my death. I’d like your help to, uh...not do that.” Langa stated.

“Wow, that’s a huge hurdle you’ve just thrown on me! I don’t know your name here, buddy! You didn’t even knock on my door or anything.” Hanako laughed.

“I’m serious. The man I’m going up against has touched more underaged boys than a Catholic priest.” Langa sighed. “My name’s Langa Hasegawa.”

“Well, if you say so I’ll have to oblige. Let’s see what I have,” Hanako reached into his pockets. “I mean, I’ve killed before, but right now I’m working on repenting for my sins.”

Langa’s eyes widened. “Okay...,”

-----

Hanako began following the blue-haired skater around the school, and it didn’t take Langa too long to piece together that no one else could see him. He chalked it up to him being a ghost.

“So this is your boyfriend?” Hanako poked Reki who was still ignoring Langa. “He’s a cutie!”

“Hanako, leave him alone. Reki didn’t ask for you to touch his hair like that.” Langa ordered him. Reki then looked over at Langa in confusion.

“What’s going on with you?” Reki asked. “Did you hit your head?”

“I tried the Hanako ritual all the girls talk about. Y’know, knock three times on the third stall in the bathroom, summon the ghost of Hanako, get three wishes.”

“You went into the women’s bathroom, you perv,” Reki pouted.

“He started following me--he’s right behind you!” Langa pointed at Hanako who was making a funny face behind Reki, sticking his tongue out. “No one else seems to see him!”

“You’re really freaking me out here, bro.” Reki looked at him. “You gettin’ enough sleep here?”

“I promise I’m not making this up.” Langa insisted. “Look behind you!”

“I don’t see anyone.” Reki peered over his shoulder.

“Dude, is that Canadian kid alright?” One of their classmates gossiped.

“Maybe he bumped his head?” Another classmate whispered.

Langa hid his face as Hanako floated around him and began to play with his hair, pulling it into a ponytail. “There we go!”

------

Bringing Hanako to S was...surreal. A schoolboy in a 1960s uniform floating around the abandoned factory.

“I think I remember when this place was active. I knew some classmates whose parents worked here!” Hanako looked around at the shell of a factory. “So whadda do ‘ere?”

“We skate, but I’ve got to come up with a good excuse not to go up against ADAM.” Langa held his skateboard.

“Hey, SNOW!” Miya and Shadow came up towards Langa as he was talking with Hanako. They were utterly confused.

“You can’t see him, either?” Langa pointed at Hanako.

“Ah, no. You’re talking to air.” Miya chuckled.

“Look, I got a ghost from school attached to me.” Langa explained. “He followed me here. His name’s Hanako. Hanako, the 7th of the 7 Wonders of my school.”

“A ghost?” Joe blinked.

“How foolish a fantasy.” Cherry scoffed.

“Do yah think SNOW got his head bashed in?” SHADOW asked.

“Look, I have to come up with a good excuse never to skate against ADAM ever, because I read a book that has my entire life in it, including the future...and I die this Saturday night.” Langa pulled out a copy of his book from the 4pm library.

“Whoa...this goes way back,” Miya flipped through the pages. His eyes widened as he got to the end with the skate with ADAM that would result in Langa’s death along with the dismantlement of S. “What...?’

The sound of a familiar skateboard rolled past. Its rider was a hoodie-wearing Reki with a sullen-looking face.

“Reki!” Langa put his hand on Reki’s shoulder. He looked up. “I’m not going to skate ADAM. I’ll stay home Saturday night to avoid him. Please, I miss you. This ghost is not substitute for your cheerful smile in my life! Please!”

Reki’s eyes lightened. “So you won’t skate with ADAM?”

“No, I promise.” Langa embraced his boyfriend in a long, close hug. “I’m sorry for being so selfish. I won’t take your love for granted anymore.”

“Same. You’re my best bro, SNOW.”

“You can call me Langa.”

-------

That Saturday, Langa and Reki sat at home and watched some hilariously bad movies on Netflix. They ate popcorn and Hanako made the duo some plain, good ol’ fashioned homemade donuts.

“So you wanna watch 50 Shades of Grey next or The Room?” Reki sat in Langa’s lap with a donut in his mouth as his boyfriend flipped through Netflix.

“I wonder if ADAM’s noticed we stood him up yet.” Langa grabbed another donut. “Oh well,”

“Man what I wouldn’t give to see that idiot’s face.” Reki laughed.

“Hey I got some candy from the Mokke, want some?” Hanako offered.

“You mean those pink bunnies that pull pranks?” Langa took one of the candies and popped it in his mouth. “That’s good.”

“I know I probably shouldn’t mention this, but I have a twin named Tsukasa and he asked if he could be let out of the school just to see what this ‘ADAM’ guy is like.” Hanako mentioned.

“What’s your twin like?” Langa asked.

“He’s...um, psychotic.” Hanako replied.

------

Langa and Hanako slept over at Reki’s house.

The following morning, they woke up and the newspapers read: Diet Member Ainosuke Shindo found stabbed to death in abandoned factory. Suspect still unnamed and unidentified. If you have any information, please contact the Okinawa Police Department.

“Yeah, I figured that’d happen with Tsukasa.” Hanako shrugged.

“So ADAM just got stabbed by a ghost.” Langa asked.

“Well, I think my job here is done.” Hanako yawned.

#ooc #renga #Toilet-bound Hanako-kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #sk8 the infinity #langa hasegawa #adam #reki kyan #reki x langa #hanako #yugi amane #yugi twins

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lady-maria-the-wolf225 · 3 years

Text

Mikey x Fem! reader Ch: 5

Mikey's P.O.V

I showed the lovely lady around the lair. I can tell by the look on her face. She seemed so fascinated by it. Her eyes lit up like glitter. I just couldn't help myself but just stare at her. She catches my attention like crazy. After giving her a tour, I took her to my room. "Well, now I showed you the lair, what do you think?" she smiled and looked at me. "It's pretty cool. plus your room...is a mess." I chuckled and nodded. "Yeah that's true. Raph and I used to share a bunk bed, but after two years of sharing, we made the decision to have seperate bedrooms instead." She looks at my game system. "So. you own a PS2. where did you get it?" I explained to her about it since I can tell she was curious. "I found it at a nearby dumpster. It was kinda busted up, so I brought it here, and Donnie fixed it for me. As for the controller, surprisingly, it still works." I noticed a pretty looking bag, and I picked it up. "Is this yours?" she nodded and grabbed it. "Yes it is. Wanna see what I have inside?" I immediately sat down with excitement. "Aw yeah Do I!" She opens it up and shows me some video games she got. "I have Mario kart, Crash bandicoot, The legend of spyro trilogy, Legend of Zelda, sly cooper, sonic heroes, ratchet and clank, pac man world 2, and...wait. Where's my Sonic unleashed game?" she was looking for it, and I found the disc on the floor along with the game case. "Is it this one?" she sees it in my hand, and she takes it. "Yes. thank you. Do you have any games yourself?" I nodded, and went to go grab it. When I got back, I showed it to her. "I have a guitar hero game. Sadly it's the only game I have." She looks at it and I look at her games. Her games are super cool, I want to play all of them all day and all night. I looked at her and asked. "Hey uh. Mind if I play some of your games? I never played these but I always wanted to try them." she smiles and responds to me sweetly. "Yeah. go ahead." I look at each game, and I made the decision to start off with this spyro game I never heard of. One of them. The cover art was a picture of a little purple dragon with lightning around. I take out the disc, and put it in my game system. I was blown away by how good those graphics were! When the little dragon breathed out fire from his mouth at those monkeys, I was cheering all the way. Three hours have passed, and I was having some trouble in some levels. Thankfully this lovely lady who was sitting right next to me helped me out. Man oh man. I never knew she was that good at video games like me. After having fun playing, we talked more about ourselves. I told her about the good and bad my brothers and I faced, and how we became friends with April O' Neil. She then started talking about the fact that her home city has the best deep dish pizza ever. Speaking of pizza, Leo brings in pizza and we all went to eat. I gave the girl a slice, and she declined. "No thank you. I'm not hungry." I frowned a bit. "Are you sure Angel cakes? I don't want you to starve." she nods and responds in a soft tone. "Yeah." Leo looks at us and starts talking. "So. I see you guys are liking each other's company already." I nodded as I stuffed my face with pizza. I ate like I haven't eaten in weeks. She looks at me and giggles. I swallowed my food and smiled back at her. She's cute when she smiles. So cute in fact, I wanna pinch her cheeks and smother her with hugs and kisses all over. I notice Raph was shaking his head and sighs. "What's wrong big bro? Something bothering you?" Raph looks at me annoyed. "Yeah. would you stop eating like a damn maniac?" I stared at him and sighed. I got up from the table, and went to my bedroom. The girl gets up too and follows me. I know my bros were staring and talking but I didn't care. Hours passed, and she was showing me her phone. There's this thing called "you tube". She was showing me tons and tons of videos. Some made me laugh, some made me cry, and some well....made me blush. I never wanted the fun to end. Just until I heard her phone ring. She answered it. "Hello?.....oh hey mom.....no no I'm fine! Just calm down will ya?......*sigh* okay." After she hung up the phone, I sighed and spoke to her. "You gotta head home?" she nods looking at me with disappointment. "Yeah....my mom wants me home. Do you guys have a car?" I nodded but then paused when I remembered what happened with the shell raiser. "Yeah. we do, but it's in need of repair right now because I accidentally crashed it last week after I made the dumbest decision to give that baby a spin. I'll just carry you home cutie pie." I helped her with her stuff, but she decided to let me keep her games which was very sweet of her by the way. I picked her up bridal style, and I used my rocket skateboard to move quicker. "Just show me where you live, and we're good to go." she nods and we skated the night away. The night was gorgeous out. Stars were sparkling all over, and the moon was glowing like a shiny light bulb. She finally pointed to her home, and I landed by the balcony. "And we're here." I gently put her down, and she enters her home. "Well, glad we got to know each other. and....I was wondering.... Um...." I rubbed the back of my neck as I chuckled and blushed bright red feeling nervous. She put her hand on my shoulder and responded. "I'd be happy to come over again soon." I smiled and looked into her innocent (E/C) eyes. She giggled at me and I blushed. "I better get going. I don't want my master splinter to know that I'm gone." she nods in understanding. As she was about to go, I almost forgot to ask. "Wait up. You forgot to tell me your name." She smiles at me. "My name is (Y/N)." my eyes lit up when I heard her name for the first time. "(Y/N)....that's a pretty name." she rolls her eyes chuckling at me. "Well. goodnight.....Michelangelo." I stared at her dreamily but then snapped out of it. "Please.....call me mikey." We both waved goodbye, and I started running off before anyone would see me out in the open. I can't believe it....I finally spent time with a girl! The first girl to ever hang out with a turtle like me! Oh that (Y/N). She makes me want to fly high in the sky. I can't wait to see her again, whatever day she may come by to the lair to see me. I just also hope that my bros and this outside world will accept us too. I know a friendship is an okay thing for them but love?....I guess I'll be the first to show that mutants and humans can fall in love. Besides. Love comes in many shapes and forms. What's the worst that could happen?

End of P.O.V Chapter 6 will be next. :)

#tmnt bayverse #michelangelo #fanfic #romance

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paipayaseeds · 3 years

Note

Hey, to anyone rping with a canon character rn, what would your ideal date be with that Character? (Mod Chia, please answer too so we can see how hard you simp)

NDJDKSNJDISNJSJDJSKS IDK IF YOU MEANT THE CHARACTER THEMSELF OR ME SO I JUST- YDSUFHJBASDFHJ

AAA AND FOR ANYA- I think Kaito would quite literally have to kidnap- I mean steal Anya away from Rantaro to take her somewhere he couldn’t find them? like, somewhere quiet, but you could still hear the city, and it’d definitely be star gazing cuz like- come on. it’s Kaito

for me personally, i'd probably rent out a huge like, concert hall thing? for them to play their violin in and stuff, and the whole place would be empty and it'd kinda have that same vibe to when the movie ends and you just wanna dance around on the front screen, ykwim?

nagito would probably say some shit about, oh my opinion is invalid, let's just go wherever aimi want to go- even so, i think nagito's ideal date is literally anywhere with aimi, everywhere with her is literally just a fucking dream for him— but specifically, i think he'd probably be the type of person to enjoy a date at home. a lazy day where you don't have to do much, therefore nothing his luck can fuck up, you know? something funny i thought of is nagito asking if he could walk her cat with her-

cat cafe, cat cafe, cat cafe-

for fumiko- hmm maybe ice skating? I feel like Shuichi would constantly be like- oh do u need help- and then try to act reliable and pretend to be good at ice-skating and all but then he just falls on his ass- also fumiko would have to wear 2 helmets and 5 jackets as well as knee pads elbow pads and really really expensive skates bc she might get hurt and that is a no no

honestly for Fumiko, it would probably either be somewhere safe like a bouncy castle, or a trampoline park so that if she hurts herself, she won’t get hurt that bad and just bounce away, yk- like a carnival or something, where theres a bunch of sweets

iDK IF THIS COUNTS BUT YASDBUHASDKHJ i think izuru literally could not care less where he is- like- just sit in silence with him- thats it- nah im joking. i think he would enjoy games? from like, the game scene with hajime and- hngshfbgn *sobbing* damn it not the flashbacks— but i think it'd probably just be silent, and non stressful gaming

bro i would take him to therapy with me; thats it- thats the ideal date

also i wasn't sure what to do with luna yet bc i dont know her well yet- but judging by her dislike of people, i think kokichi would take that in mind, and like maybe a vending machine raid at 3 am- where there's no people, and its really scary and quiet but still thrilling

find all the panta bottles before sunrise-

#mod chia #find all the panta bottles before dawn-#stop #i know im overattached #i hope i didnt make any of u uncomfortable—#syugbshjdkbkfg #kpop

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autumnblogs · 3 years

Text

Day 3: Vendetta against Bro

Welcome back to more Homestuck Liveblogging. Picking up with Nannasprite as she prepares to give John the Dirt.

https://homestuck.com/story/421

Sburb’s opening move is to take John’s Dad away from him. If @mmmmalo‘s theory about psychological storytelling is to be believed, Sburb provokes fear and then manifests it in the form of a character’s antagonists. If you wonder why I bring them up so much, it’s probably because I’ve been reading their blog lately. I am almost always game for more Homestuck theorization, and would love to be able to reference more people and engage with their thoughts in my theoryposts and liveblogging, so if you know somebody with good takes, please pass them along my way.

The Incipisphere, like John’s name, was invoked into existence by player/character action, but paradoxically, has always been that way. By engaging with Sburb, John authenticates its retroactive existence, like a mailman taking a signature of receipt for a package.

When we engage with the fixtures of our cultures and material realities, we too, authenticate them. This can be good or bad - when we communicate with each other, recognize each other, we authenticate each other too. Observing and being observed is a mutual act of validation for everyone involved. I see you seeing me seeing you.

I’m full of horseshit again. Read some more horseshit after the break.

Content Warning for this one: Pedophilia Mentions.

https://homestuck.com/story/422

There’s a lot to unpack in this sequence of pages, and I’m almost certainly going to miss a lot of it, but I’ll come back to stuff that I miss as it comes back up in later pages.

As a Crucible of Unlimited Potential, Skaia can become absolutely anything, and the shape that it will take on will be influenced by the actions of the players. But it isn’t anything yet.

This is the second time in two pages that Nanna has brought up the light-darkness dichotomy of the forces at play in the Medium, and after just talking about the act of mutual authentication through mutual observation, my brain is screaming the words Hegelian Lens at me. Might go somewhere with that too.

I also wanna call attention to the name of the Medium. As a story about stories, it only makes sense that the name of Homestuck’s main otherworld should evoke the field used to propagate mass communication.

https://homestuck.com/story/423

I’ve always thought that it’s interesting that of the two forces in the Medium, the players have natural allies in the form of Prospit. The choice here is not to act on behalf of one or the other, the choice is between Action and Inaction. Not doing something is itself, doing something.

https://homestuck.com/story/427

You Can (Not) Redo.

Sburb relentlessly drives its players forward. If you attempt to go back, or stay where you are, you will be punished. No getting your parents back, no getting your planet back.

What’ll it be John? Advance or Advance?

https://homestuck.com/story/431

John is extremely resistant to being made to do things that he doesn’t want to do anyway, even by Narrators.

More thoughts about Cake and Baked Goods in Homestuck and in relation to John. The other main characters baking is associated with in Homestuck are all women - The Condesce, Meenah, Jane, Nanna - and baking in general is pretty strongly associated with women, moms, etc. I’ve always thought it was a little out of place amongst Dad’s other character traits, which are definitively masculine. Maybe it’s for exactly that reason - baking is culturally feminine.

Maybe John’s resistance to baked goods is because he’s uncomfortable receiving feminine affection (especially, but not only from his Dad). It’s like getting kisses from your Mom in public or other public displays of affection between men and the women in their lives, or even men and other men in their lives. John is certainly pretty clueless about affection from women when he receives it later in the story. On the other hand, he responds very well to masculine displays of affection, like the aloof but ebullient cards he gets from his Dad, or the one-upsmanship between him and Dave.

(I’ll have to think some more about the capitalism thing from my other post.)

https://homestuck.com/story/433

More of Rose seeing enemies in every shadow. Then again, could it be Jasper’s fault that they’re in this mess?

https://homestuck.com/story/442

I think the fact that we jump to this point in the past suggests that Rose is probably reminiscing about this spot, going along with my theory that when the Narration is focusing on a character, it’s also giving us that character’s stream of consciousness - we’re experience what Rose is experiencing.

That probably goes a long way to excusing the kind of puzzling, irritating experience we have of our first minutes with John. Due to his tendency to get distracted by things and forget how things work, we have to suffer through his own inability to navigate his disorderly environment exactly the same way he does.

Oh, so that’s why this story gets compared to Ulysses.

It is Jaspers’ fault that they’re in this mess. My hypothesis gathers more data.

https://homestuck.com/story/444

The third of the prose poems. Drat. Got to Dave’s Poem before I even had the chance to write about Rose’s Poem. Guess we’ll come back to this one later later.

https://homestuck.com/story/445

I’ve almost certainly missed a few of these gags by now but “Left him hanging long enough” is one of the jokes that Homestuck reproduces over and over again. Homestuck reproduces itself frequently, like variations on a theme. Its self-referential nature could be called incestuous, as it turns one-off gags into recurring gags.

https://homestuck.com/story/448

While Bro and Dirk are both definitely irony ninjas where Dave is just performing irony to get his Bro’s approval, I think all the irony is an effort to distance themselves from the fact that they really do sincerely enjoy the things they’re “ironically” into. That too, is probably ironic.

Unfortunately, the actual subject matter of Bro’s interests, while innocuous in a vacuum, are still extremely inappropriate to leave out where a thirteen year old can have access to them. Bro probably isn’t a pedophile, but between the martial education, and the uncomfortable degree to which he involves Dave in his sex life, his relationship with Dave recalls pederasty which is one of many, many links between Dirk, Bro, and the Classical Hellenes, and Monastic Shudo, a similar practice historically attested from their beloved Japan. (The term Platonic Relationship is called that because Plato is one of the first Greek Philosophers to argue that maybe it would be better for students’ education if they weren’t also sexually involved with their mentors? Or so the story goes.)

I may have a bit of a vendetta against Bro Strider, which probably has at least a little to do with the fact that, when I first read Homestuck, I got fooled into thinking he was kind of awesome, and it wasn’t until I was able to deal with my own childhood abuse and the fact that I had been indoctrinated with a lot of the very same toxic ideas bro inculcated in Dave that I was able to realize that Bro Strider is kind of a horrible guardian, so I have a sort of special ire directed at this character. Maybe I’m afraid in another life, I could have grown up to be that kind of creep. I’m glad I didn’t.

https://homestuck.com/story/449

All throughout this section, the narration suggests that Dave is both subconsciously aware that his Bro’s pasttimes make him uncomfortable, but trying to soothe himself by affirming them. So, in spite of my sharing some youthful confusion with Dave, the Narrative at least communicates to us from the very beginning that something is off about Bro.

https://homestuck.com/story/452

To interrupt my dark and brooding reverie, please enjoy some Skate 3 Glitches.

I guess here’s a good place to note that I am going to be using the #personal stuff hashtag to denote when a post contains me alluding to my own dark and troubled past.

https://homestuck.com/story/457

The password is six letters long, and based on the fact that it’s the most awesome thing that it could be, I have no doubt that it’s Strider.

https://homestuck.com/story/465

Yup.

https://homestuck.com/story/466

It warms the cockles of me heart that Dave’s first inclination when he starts to flip the fuck out is to reach out to John Egbert.

https://homestuck.com/story/484

8^y

https://homestuck.com/story/485

Remember that one-upsmanship I was talking about? Any chance Dave and John get around each other, they talk each other down. I’m not sure if Andrew was saying anything about Toxic Masculinity at the time. I expect, like a lot of us, he didn’t have those words on his mind in 2009, but that’s textbook toxic masculinity, and I think when viewed as a complete work, Dave and John’s growth out of it is a sign of healthy maturation. Build each other up, boys, don’t tear each other down. In this life, we’re all we’ve got, and you owe it to each other.

https://homestuck.com/story/503

Leveling up is one of those weird things about Roleplaying Games that I didn’t realize until some point in the last two years is kind of an integral fixture of them. Overcoming hardships permanently makes you stronger in games that have an experience-level feature in them, and once you’re strong enough to beat a challenge once, you’re almost always strong enough to overcome that challenge in the future.

It’s a kind of storytelling that on closer examination is weirdly propagandistic, but it’s actually all over media. It’s pretty rare for a story to say “When you overcome a challenge, good job. You will have to overcome that same challenge again and again - maybe every day of your life.” The interesting thing, and I might come back to this, is that I think Homestuck actually takes this latter approach. Exactly the same emotional struggles they begin the story with are the ones they spend all 8000 pages of Homestuck agonizing over, and these characters will probably spend their entire lives wrestling with the baggage of their youth.

Suffering and toil is the fate of humankind, I suppose.

https://homestuck.com/story/518

Surrounded by Idiots.

https://homestuck.com/story/538

Saw is a story about a serial killer who subjects his victims to gruelling trials catered to make them face their own fatal flaws and emerge changed into better people, which is a lot like authorial scorn, which Andrew describes thusly in the commentary for Vriska’s introduction: “It's not as ill-willed as it might sound, but more of a universal principle of storytelling that for things to be interesting, harsh outcomes must befall those you create, in response to which they may thrive or fail. Which to the casual observer may read as hate.“. Lord English and Caliborn bear visual similarity to Jigsaw’s creepy puppet avatars, and serve as instruments of Andrew’s Authorial Scorn. Bro reproduces the same kind of creator’s hatred that Lord English bears toward all of Paradox Space, and reproduces it for the dubious benefit of his ward - Dave is to overcome the challenges thrust upon him in order to become strong.

https://homestuck.com/story/571

Dave does not care for being watched.

https://homestuck.com/story/588

If Dave’s first instinct for when he’s uncomfortable is to go talk to his friends, his second instinct is to attack.

https://homestuck.com/story/625

I don’t remember where I read it originally, it’s too far away in the past, but each of the items in the Rocket Pack is representative of one of John’s friends. The Cinderblock Dave, the Flower Pot Jade, the Violin Rose. John’s friends, his connections and bonds (Blood) tie him down and prevent him from indulging his most impulsive behaviors (Breath).

https://homestuck.com/story/631

In addition to Mad Science (or perhaps as an aspect thereof) John demonstrates remarkable lateral thinking.

https://homestuck.com/story/635

Alchemy has helped me get my thoughts in gear on a subject I glossed over the other day - the way the characters’ personality traits and objects fill the background radiation of the comic. In a way, the same thing is going on when the characters produce all kinds of neat shit from the odds and ends around their house as is going on when Sburb populates itself with symbols from the characters domestic lives.

Clowns become a threatening symbol throughout all of Homestuck, basically because there are a bunch in John’s house from a Doylist perspective. From a Watsonian perspective, Sburb seems, through the vehicle of destiny, to deliberately latch onto things from the players’ lives that will help them to contend with their anxiety and trauma. John has bad dreams about clowns, and seems to conceptualize himself as a clown in his self-critical estimation of himself. Maybe even as a Dark Mirror of his aspirations to be an entertainer? Is a Circus Clown a funhouse mirror version of a stage magician? I don’t have a follow up to that question, but it makes me think. If you checked out the essay from Malo I linked earlier, you might recognize some other things that John is afraid of which characterize his session, like his alleged fear of heights, and his anxiety about confronting his Dad.

I think that’s all for this evening. Another 200 pages down.

Cam signing off, alive and not alone.

#homestuck #liveblogging #commentary #authentication #validation #irony #personal stuff #authorial scorn

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fmdrohan · 3 years

Text

hello, hi ! 👋🏽 i hope this introduction post finds everyone well. ♡ i’m no one new to these parts, but for those of you who don’t know me, you can call me alé. i’m 21+, use he/him pronouns, and i’m the current typist for aria’s main vocalist, nina seo, & now, i’m bringing you all yet another muse. so, without further delay, i’d love to introduce you to brand-new creation of mine called 𝖞𝖔𝖔 𝖗𝖔𝖍𝖆𝖓. he is knight’s main dancer, sub vocalist, and rapper, as well as their currently marketed “sexy” member. outside of his career, he’s honestly just one big douche-bag skater kid that seeks cheap thrills, and who wants to do nothing more than put a smile on your face... even if causes him trouble sometimes. more info about him is below the cut, so please like this to plot ! ♡ tumblr im’s or discord by request.✨

𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞.

born in seoul, south korea, to a working class, christian family.

mom was a manager at a local restaurant, dad worked at a law firm.

both of them were busy all the time; they lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

he didn’t get much attention at home, so he sought it out at school.

there, he was known as a a huge “class clown” or “class daredevil.”

all he wanted was to put smiles on people’s faces and push limits.

did he end up in the principal’s office a lot? YES, that was his “brand.”

as he got older, his class clownery turned to pranks and thrill-seeking.

he also became HELLA interested in skateboarding and parkour lmao.

rohan felt as if he wasn’t living if he wasn’t on constantly on the edge.

he’s broken a few bones, endured tons of scrapes, but never gives in

this, obviously, didn’t please his mother and father... they were just busy.

too busy to reprimand him and care—rohan got away with a loooot of shit.

he didn’t start receiving discipline until he was scouted by bc entertainment.

despite his messy hair, distinct style, and overall vibe, he fit the bill somehow.

the two years he spent in practice changed him a little as a person; for better.

he found a new love in dancing, and he was naturally pretty great at it tbh.

his background made him extremely coordinated, flexible, and really strong.

his fearlessness made him bold enough to try out new moves or stunts.

two years later, he débuted as a main dancer and kept his impulses at bay.

this isn’t exactly what he saw himself doing in life, but he wasn’t mad at it.

over time, his image began to shift into sexier and “stud-lier” territory.

his outfits became more revealing and he was treated differently in public.

this... fucks him up a lot because it’s the exact opposite of how he is.

he’s just some skater / parkour punk that gives off dumb big bro vibes.

how on earth do they expect him to be portray and convey sexy 24/7?

as this is more of a “job” to him than passion, he does what they tell him to.

so long as his checks get signed and he accumulates wealth, he’s good.

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞.

as mentioned above, rohan gives off very douchey “big brother” vibes.

he’ll pick on you, tease you, pull pranks on you, etc. all in the name of fun.

he’ll go too far sometimes, and he’ll feel bad, but has “no regrets.” 😎 lol.

lowkey loooves anime and draws his own bad sketches; also into sci-fi.

underneath the dumb, douchebag exterior is just a big ol’ nerd, that’s all.

if you’re a cute guy, he’ll DEFINITELY flirt with you—taken or not taken lol.

he’s someone that hasn’t really let being an idol ruin his personal life tbh??

he still does whatever the fuck he wants within the constraints of his contract.

though, whenever he gets “bored,” he does things he’s not supposed to.

bc entertainment’s warned him of being careful not to injure himself, but...

i don’t really think he cares at this point in his career; he likes more freedom.

little random, but he loooves underground / indie rock music and rap, too.

one of those assholes that doesn’t really listen to any other idol music lmao.

to be fair though, he’s not really a massive fan of knight’s music either. 😁

he just sings or raps whatever they tell him to and rolls with the punches.

lowkey wants to take up tattooing and graffiti at some point, he’s that guy.

loooves to talk and meet new people, even if they find him a li’l annoying.

whenever he’s stressed, angry, upset, hungry... he shows it with aggression.

it’s never gotten intense much, but he’s not much of a sensitive “crier” yk.

there’s more of him for me to discover as time goes on, so that’s it for rn!

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙-𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘.

no plots page yet, sry :/// i’ve been a little busy this week rip.

some ideas will be below though so lmk if they appeal to you!

one, he’s definitely known to ghost people, so... maybe your muse is one of ‘em? like, this would be locked to males in the lgbt community, but you know. give him some really awkward encounters to make him feel like shit for ditching you after tons of sweet talk. sad thing is, he’s aware of it, and it’s mostly because of his schedule, but also ??? he’s just having fun, you know. he doesn’t wanna get tied down to anything right now.

two, maybe that ONE GIRL he tried to fuck with at the beginning of his career. while he knows he’s always been attracted to men, i think he would’ve convinced himself to at least try it out with a woman to make sure he wasn’t also interested in them, too. he’s a MASSIVE flirt and sweet talker, definitely made her feel special, but like... it never really went anywhere because... he just wasn’t into it, but didn’t wanna make her mad lmao. clearly ended up in a break-up and it could be both an ugly or pretty ending imo idk.

three, i’d DIE if other muses in famed were super into skating, or anime, or really any of his interests, too, and they’ve formed a “club” of sorts? just your local band o’ dirtbags who get together and fuck shit up a little bit here and there. i feel like this could be open to anyone who shares any of his interests tbh ??? maybe closer to his age is preferred, but honestly, i’m here to discuss whatever! i’m all for compromises and shit tbh.

four, maybe someone’s he’s lowkey seeing ( male, male-presenting lock ) that he’s really vibing with, but he just can’t... feasibly reason why he should have a bf right now. he’s got a lot going on, so he’s kind of a flake, but at the same time, he doesn’t intend to be an asshole to them. they’re maybe one of the only people he’s “softer” with. can end up romantic or platonic depending on how they handle it together, me thinks!

five, a dance partner or two would be pretty cool tbh! he’s not a dancer first, so he likes to dance with other people who are passionate about it to learn from ‘em. he can handle his own with choreography, but doesn’t have his own distinct style, so he’d really appreciate all the help he can get in becoming better ig? all in the name of work!

six, maybe a person who fucking HAAAATES him because they find him really annoying and super douchey, so they just... avoid him at all costs. however, he kinda picks up on the fact that they avoid him, so he pesters them even worse, which doesn’t end well... ever. this is definitely more open to anyone tbh and we can plan as we go!

seven, flipside where it’s someone that he CAN’T stand because he finds them really persnickety, snobby, and rude as fuck. if there’s one thing he hates A LOT, it’s bratty rich kids with silver spoons in their mouths. like, if this was a “the outsiders” verse, he’d be a greaser 1000000%, not a soc. lmao. he’d butt-heads with this person a fuck-ton.

eight, however many guys wanna piece of him, he’s happy to have a catalogue of fwb’s he calls on. he’s definitely not someone who says no to a good time, and he can act like a perfect boyfriend if that’s what you want. sadly, this’ll always be a temporary game. any of these fwb’s can go in many directions and can be plotted out individually!

nine, the age old question... “who’s your ideal type?” under pressure, he said you as a joke ( because of this, it could be male or female ) and now, fans of your respective groups ship you two together all the time. it’s a little awkward, and you two haven’t really talked about it much, but here you are... at a shared event sitting next to each other. how do you handle it? what do you do? is it awkward or all in good fun?

ten, someone who kinda hates that he doesn’t really take being an “idol” all the serious. he’s got a lot of shit on his bucket list he wants to do and he doesn’t let fame fuck with that, so he’s careless. he didn’t go into this business because of passion, it’s just where he ended up. your muse doesn’t like that, and thinks people like him are lazy as fuck.

#‏‏‎ ‎* ( 유로한 ) ╱ intro.#‏‏‎ ‎* ( 유로한 ) ╱ plot call.

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ninja-go-to-therapy · 4 years

Text

The Ninja as Things My Friends and I Have Said

My friend keeps a quote-book and I thought y’all would enjoy this lol

Jay: say your last words to me, I’m about to be smited

Jay: I am so bright, I am star

Kai: Pickles and Dick Jay: Pickle my dick? Kai: PICKLE AND DICK! Lloyd: TICKLE MY DICK?

Kai: I want to play hot potato with a hand grenade

Lloyd: this chocolate milk mocks me

Kai: Can we all agree that when Jay walks he looks like a flamboyant gay drag-queen toddler

Lloyd, looking at a tampon: is that a cheese stick?

Kai: Where you at you little hoe?

Cole: Don’t do gay it’s not healthy

Jay: I live life as a pirate. Because a pirate is free

Jay: The sun's only up for half the year in Alaska Cole: We have that too. It's called nighttime

Morro: Lick his nuts, they have a sorta Mexican flavor

Kai: I need to be surrounded with seven beautiful naked women in order to sleep at night

Lloyd: You know how there's like a line between bravery and stupidity? Nya: Jay is that line

Jay: Disclaimer: I am an anxious bean

Wu: It’s not your fault but it is your problem

Cole: I can't keep a straight face anymore. It's gay now.

Lloyd: That was such a late reaction it could've been my dad coming back

Zane: DISCO PENIS

Kai: I wanna stand around and look GORGEOUS

Kai: I'm outrageously good-looking Zane: No you’re not

Lloyd: I admit when I'm wrong! Kai: Oh yeah. But I'm like never wrong!

All of the ninja, always: It would be so much fun to hurt a bad person

Zane: what state do I live in? Jay: depression

Kai: cool onesie... can I get inside it?

Lloyd: They call me Santa. I bring snow to the children.

Kai: Don't fucking giggle you little shit.

Nya: I will beat you with a meat stick

Cole: You moan more than the dumpster out back

Wu: Don't stick the plungers on your foreheads!

Garmadon: whY are you SMelLING the plungers?

Zane: How does one piss in a watermelon?

Lloyd: When I become 99 pounds I'm going to eat a pound of chicken nuggets so I can be 1% chicken nugget. It's indisputable.

Cole: It smells like SHIT. Like it smells kinda okay now, but it still smells like shit. So it's like. Perfumeshit

Jay: Your socks are untied

Lloyd: Morro can just molest himself

Jay: Can you please not get a fucking locker smaller than my self esteem

Zane: You be smellin your own shit soon Jay: I already do Zane: Get it? Cause your mom gay. Everyone: ...what?

Lloyd: My name's Lloyd and I wear shoes sometimes

Nya: Unlike Skylor, they actually like balls

Kai: Fuck fuck fucking fuck fucking fucktown

Jay. I’m about to go commit space heater in bathtub

Kai: Vaccines make you gay

Lloyd: It’s not because I’m Asian, its because I eat rice so much

Zane: Hi. I’m Zane. ... my dick fell off

Kai, to Lloyd: Your dad is my fuckbuddy. ... wait. Shit.

Lloyd: You didn’t miss. You hit me right in the fucking nipple.

Kai: Eat my dick

Nya. Bite off your own dick

Cole: Your face looks like you're trying to make your dick fall off

Lloyd: So we were sitting watching TV eating macaroni with a fruit roll-up soaking my feet in a trashcan

Jay: I’m gonna go commit visit Pompeii in time machine

Jay: How can spiders fall from the ceiling and just skrrrrt away

Kai: Because none of us can speak proper sentences

Kai: Hold on. I'm sending a meme. I can't fight.

Jay: Engulf your own dick

Jay: Please don’t have a Boston tea party in my back yard

Kai: Still it felt like I committed a minor crime in Iran with all the water in my nose

Jay: Sensei Wu, please throw scissors... I kinda wanna die

Kai: I got royally fucked

Jay: Get your meaty luscious legs

Jay: The fuck you mean take my pants off? They're always on! Cause no one wants me to take them off!

Lloyd, picking up a napkin and seeing food fall out: IT’S BIRTHING

Zane, threateningly: Give me your kidneys

The Overlord: Where is your technology stored?

Zane: I can balance my body on my boner and spin like a beyblade

Kai: My balls are not a muscle

Cole: So apparently I'm not the only one with asymmetrical balls. Lloyd: Wait actually? Cole: Well yesterday Kai gave us a very descriptive description of his balls

Zane, sarcastically: Gosh darn don’t you hate it when you're not allowed to bring your 5 dollar footlong subway to training

Lloyd: So he poked me in the back with a pencil and my third grade self was like, "BLASPHEMY"

Kai: You.... dickmuncher

Jay: We're playing infinity Life. It's like Life but the cars are infinity stones.

Kai: I could have divine gay sex and it would still be nohomo.

Cole, during some super serious training: Bake me into a pie daddy

Kai: a compliment sandwich, like this: I like your shoes, YOU SUCK, your eyes are pretty

Zane, to Lloyd: Don't KILL her! Too much paperwork!

Jay: Stop moving your butt. It's uncomfortable when you clench it

Cole: The STICK.. will be UP YOU! Kai: My ASS is your spot!

Jay, teaching Kai to roller skate: First, we master walking

Kai: I know I’m beautiful and perfect and amazing and huMBLE

Lloyd: I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

Cole: I'm allergic to emotions!

Zane: Yeet is not a valid Scrabble word

Kai: I love myself 3000. And you should, too. Love yourself, that is. Unless you wanna love me as well, cause that’s cool too.

Zane: Is doing drugs illegal

Lloyd: Post-traumatic stress? More like spicy memories

Jay: Be quiet so I can see

Cole: Why is my wallaber grinding its ass on the floor?

Kai: Whatever, my ass cheeks are balanced ... just as all things should be

Garmadon: IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE SOMEBODY THINK YOU WERE GONNA HIT THEM WITH YOUR CAR!

Sensei Garmadon: First of all, nobody says they're fine when they're good

Lloyd, getting himself a donut: A chocolate frosted donut for a chocolate frosted child

Nya, about Harumi: I just loathed her at first sight. Like your dad!

Morro, about Lloyd: He reminds me of a cucumber.

Cole, after becoming human again: I’m like Jesus... I thirst

Lloyd, sipping apple juice out of a shot glass: I'm just... done, ya know

Jay: Zane was eating my popcorn and I was like "hey that's my popcorn!" And he looks me dead in the eye and goes "surprise communism!"

Lloyd: I consumed a spatula

Jay: I almost burned down my house making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Zane, after Jay climbs on his back: Unmount me you heathen.

Kai: Yeah it's been such a dick-licking long time

Karlof: In Metalonia we do not have sister, we have brother with pussy

Zane: I want to delete my meatsack

Little Lloyd: At about 10 I was so hungry so I went to the med tent and pretended to be fainting so I got crackers

Garmadon: Before we leave I'm gonna sing a Disney song to attract all the females. Especially Misako

Jay, about to get sunburned: I know right, sunscreen is gross, you look like a glazed donut after you put it on

Cole: I like nuts but not that much. ... both kinds... I like my own nuts.

Zane: Hi I’m Zane and I’m the only one in this group with any form of common sense

Lloyd: Oh there's just someone throwing up over there! Kai: That’s hot

Cole, having a cashew thrown at him: I don’t want to swallow your nut ... I DON’T WANT YOUR NUT

Lloyd: My uncle is going to sacrifice my body

Kai: Okay. You ALL can eat MY ass

Lloyd: A picture will last longer than your family will

Garmadon: That last rep was like a hydroflask and this one was like a kleankanteen

Kai: I bet for a second he was like "oh my God they care about me"

Kai: Because no one would be ballsy enough, no pun intended, to whip his dick out and piss on a crowded bus

Jay: Fuck a duck Lloyd: Please just dont ..ff... a duck Jay: But the duck likes it. It goes quackquackquackQUACKAFLACK.

Lloyd: Digiorno? More like I'm fucking hungry

Lloyd: My socks are so wet tis but a small price to pay for salvation

Kai: No means no muchacho

Dareth after failing at spinjitzu: Now I'm just dizzy and my ass hurts

Zane: I said, Cole, don’t orgasm in public, it’s rude, and Cole started moaning as loud as humanly possible

Lloyd: Say cheese! Kai: Whiskey!

Jay: Who the fucking dammit

Jay: Spongebob square-nuts

Jay: Actual- ACTUALLY it WOULDN’T make me more of a smartass because my SMART has yet to be caught up with my ASS

Lloyd: I hate it when my foot becomes the itch

Kai: STDs are like pokemon, you gotta catch em all

Kai: Here y’all are like "I like them 'cause of how they hold themselves and whatnot" and I’m just like “GIRL PRETTY"

Cole: I hate it whenever my foot becomes the gay.

Kai: I’m shit at being a person, not a shit person.

Zane: Buses turn me on

Jay: No pissing in our VSCO hangout!

Lloyd: Are y’all on high?

Kai: Its gotta warm up to start lavaing, now it’s just lamping.

Kai, crying: When I was crawling through the sewer my hair got stuck in my knee pit and ripped out a chunk

Lloyd, deepthroating a plastic recorder: I’m blonde so naturally, I'm good at this

Kai: I’m depressed. I’m stressed. But at least I’m well-dressed.

Lloyd: Nom nom milk carton

Cole, playing Life: Give me children

Jay, on a Thursday: If Friday was a Tuesday, it would be today

Kai: We're eating lotion and calling it spicy butter ... it’s spiritually spicy

Kai: I don’t fucking know! I'm not a cheese wheel!

Zane: Beepbeep bitch what's that? My lie detector smells a lie

Lloyd: I aced two tests today! The PSAT and the rice purity test!

Pixal: I don't really get the phrase "dry as bones" because your bones are in fact, wet

Cole: Kai, Kai, we can draw you as one of those anime girls. With humungous eyes. Actually no, it doesn't matter what the size of your eyes are. But your boobs are HUGE.

Lloyd: Jay wants to become the Alpha hoe

Cole: STOP TOUCHING MY HEAD AND SAYING IT FEELS GOOD

Jay: Deli sandwich equals cold hamburger

Lloyd: How was your day? Cole: Good. I have pie dough in my water bottle

Jay: If we do that we can reach our minimum requirement which is our goal

Kai: You can taste the freedom in that nacho cheese

Lloyd: I lust for the crust

Garmadon: You dirty-minded fools!

Anyone, to Skylor: You sucked the fire

Lloyd: OHMYGOD WE GET TO COLOR WITH CRAYONS!

Nya: Not to be lesbian or anything... but DAMN

Jay: No means no in Spanish

Kai: Bro saxophone is literally the sexiest instrument alive

Wu: The only wrong answers are the ones I don’t agree with

Kai: Look, why do you need to be a bottom to suck someone else's cock?

Cole: Jay, you suck Jay: More so than you do? Kai: Wait... wait you mean like you suck at the game or you’re better at sucking than he is?

Kai: WE CAN WANT YOU SEXUALLY TOO

Cole: That's not kinky, that's just abusive

Lloyd: CAN WE STOP USING THE TERM “BLONDE BITCH”

Cole: That’s not how you do it! Straddle me HO!

Kai: I didn’t mean to kick you in the coochie! Jay, I’m the distance: Be genital with her!

Cole: Yeah, also Jay tackled me and then grabbed me in between his legs and Kai jumped on top and Jay smacked his ass and I tried to record so Kai tried to smack my phone out of my hand and missed and his finger went right in my eye so I rolled over screaming and they got up and threw pebbles at me

Cole: It sounds naked! Music!

Kai, to anyone after they say Wu seems chill: He looks like a big soft squishy man but he is not

Zane: On average, in order to feel happy, you need to be touched, (pokes Jay) 8 times a day Kai raises two fingers on each hand: I’m about to make you ALL happy" *every person at the table in unison scoots away*

Zane: You looked like lord farquad but in a cute way!

Jay, after getting a pizza shoved at him. The pepperoni sanitized my facehole

Kai: I am the WITNESS! VICTIM! And I will play ... the e x e c u t i o n e r .

#ninjago #incorrect ninjago quotes #incorrect quotes #lmao #s: my friends #the most these were edited were like #the names #and like #'band practice' to 'training' or something #yes I'm aware my friends and I are all crackheads #also peep the shameless self promo

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