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angeldarkness95 · 3 years

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Open Wounds

Summary: You and Loki are friends, but one night while drunk both of you open yourselves up to each other about things that nobody else knows about you... Until tonight.

Warning: flying cusswords and talks of abandonment.

This is my first piece on here so please be gentle and enjoy 🙂

m/n: mother’s name

It was 5 years to the day that Loki lost Frigga, the most important woman in his life. Loki often wanted to be left alone all the time, but especially on the anniversary of her death. You’re invited to the Stark tower because Tony knew you could help Loki; he seemed more aggressive and shouty than usual and everybody else was just getting fed up and annoyed; all their attempts for him to snap out of the funk bit the dust and just made him more pissed off and bitter.

You arrived at the tower with the fixings for bloody Mary’s (including some Asgardian mead, courtesy of Thor) and your homemade crab Rangoon's you knew Loki loved very much. You called up Tony so he could let you into the building. “you know Y/n you’re here so often maybe I should make you your own badge so you can come in any time you need without me having to buzz you in” “That would be nice, thank you” You smile to him as the door opens.

“Loki still in his room?” Tony just nods, but before you leave up the stairs to his room he gently grabs your arm and you look up at him. “please be careful y/n, I’m still finding it hard to trust him and I don’t want you to get hurt” you smile again gently “I’ll be okay, I promise” he nods, but still has a worried expression on his face.

You approach Loki’s door, you take a deep breath and knock

“Go away you mewling quim” he spits out, shamelessly turning you on a bit.

“It’s me, y/n, I come with offerings”

He opens the door, eyes bloodshot with a look of pissed off-ness and agony

“What do you want?” he spits out

“I know you want to be left alone, but I wanted to be here for you tonight”

his expression softened up a little while keeping his guard up. He opens the door more and beckons you in to close the door. He was reading what looked like an old book about vampires, you set everything down on a table in his room.

“What sort of offerings did you bring y/n”

“I brought freshly made crab Rangoon's and the stuff to make bloody Mary’s”

“mmm two of my favorite Midgard things” he hummed in approval, but still seeming pissed off

You started making the drinks while Loki was eating.

“So, how’s your week been?” You ask while sitting down next to him, you look at him, undivided attention while trying to get a read on how he’s feeling.

“Fine” he practically growled at you. You nod and things stay quiet for a while. You decide to turn on some funky music to get into a better mood, maybe even dance with him

“Y/n what are you doing”

“I wanna dance, what does it look like?” You grind on him a bit, he forces a smile, but tries to hide it and turns the music off

“y/n maybe a bit later ok?” You nod sad but understandingly

*5 drinks later*

things get quiet again and he seems to have gone back to his silent thoughts

“Listen, Lo if you ever need someone to talk to I’m always here, and..” before you could say any more he lost it.

*he bangs a fist on the table*

“HERE IT FUCKING COMES, YOU ONLY WANTED TO BUTTER ME UP SO I’D SPILL MY GUTS, MAYBE EVEN MY HEART OUT TO YOUR PATHETIC ASS... I’M PERFECTLY FINE YOU DAMN QUIM! ACTUALLY, YOU WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH? FIIIIIINE! I HAD THE SHITTIEST UPBRINGING I’VE EVER KNOWN, THE ONLY ONE WHO TRULY UNDERSTOOD ME WAS FRIGGA AND SHE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF ME! I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO GO TO HER FUNERAL, I WAS HARSH AND VILE, MY LAST WORDS TO HER HAUNT ME STILL TO THIS DAY! I SAID THINGS THAT I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TAKE BACK, I WAS THE WORST SON SHE, OR ANYBODY COULD ASK FOR! AND ANOTHER THING, ODIN WAS RIGHT FOR KEEPING MY IDENTITY HIDDEN OF WHAT I TRULY AM, BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING MONSTER!”

He was so mad his Jotun form temporarily came out for a moment, the sudden outburst shakes you to your core, the usually soft man yelled at you, you knew he would often yell at other people, but never you, until tonight. You’re shaken and your eyes want to tear up because you know that pain all too well.

You stand up to look the man before you, shaking, scared but understanding, your heart breaks after hearing Loki’s last words he had yelled out. You tried to bring your hand to his face, but he dodged the gesture.

“Loki, you are not the only one with a fucked up upbringing”

“Y/n is that supposed to make me feel better?!” he seethed

“No, it’s the goddamn truth” you said, trying to fight back tears and flashbacks as hard as possible, but to no avail. “at least you had a mother that gave a flying fuck about you! I don’t even have that!”

He takes a sharp inhale “then lets see who had a more fucked up upbringing, shall we?” still fuming mad, just more quiet than his yelling a few minutes ago. At this point the drinks starting to wear off for him.

“My birth was a mistake, my own mother didn’t want me, she didn’t even want my dad to know she was in labor so she could lie to him and say that I died or just to be able to leave me to be someone else’s problem, luckily my grandmother, my dad’s mother was notified as soon as m/n was at the hospital in labor, about to give birth to their only child. My dad couldn’t initially be there for my birth because he was about fifty or more miles away, he hauled ass to the point where he got a speeding ticket but was able to be there sometime after.

“Oh boo hoo you you were a mistake, big whoop”

“that’s not even close to the whole story Loki, sit your ass down” you roll your eyes to him.

“My dad talks m/n into keeping me, despite how she feels towards me, everything is fine for a while, until around the age of three to five years old she decided she’d had enough of me and/ or my father and she snapped. It was late at night, she turned to me and my dad and essentially said she couldn’t do “this” anymore, even I'm not too sure what she meant, but she asked me a question you should never have to ask a child. She asked me if I wanted to stay with my dad or go with her, I chose to stay with my dad and she walked out the front door right in front of us, just left like I didn’t mean a goddamn thing to her.” You could tell Loki was about to interject but you put a finger up to his lips.

“I’m almost done, I promise” you pleaded to him, sorrow coating his expressions.

“years later me, m/n and my dad started working things out, m/n actually wanted to be apart of my life, things were looking up, things were actually ok...” you looked up to pause and see Loki’s expression, for a moment there was hope on his face, but sadly it was gone as quick as it came. “until I turned 9, for some reason m/n stopped wanting to see me, wouldn’t even talk to me or my dad, everybody was puzzled, until the winter came. I had gotten a letter from m/n” you take a shaky breath as you recall what the letter said.

“y/n this will be the last time you ever hear from me. I’m letting you go, you were and continue to be the biggest mistake of my life, I should never have had you, much less taken you home the night you were born, I wish you died so I wouldn’t have had the burden of being your mother.

“that part always hurt the worst, after my grandma telling me that I did actually almost die the night I was brought into this world." "P.s. leave me the hell alone, I do not wish to be found, especially not by you." "I ripped that letter to shreds, but I still remember every word, every thought and emotion that raced in my head and in my heart, from that day forward I knew I would never be loved, because if my own mother couldn’t even love me, then how could I expect anybody to love me?”

You closed your eyes at the buildup of tears and every emotion that still haunted you from that damned letter, you start to fall when you feel strong hands catch you, you look up to see those gorgeous light blue oceanic eyes that were Loki’s. All the rage that was originally in his eyes had been replaced by sorrow.

“y/n I had no idea anybody could go through this amount of pain, much less a Midgardian for Odin’s sake! No offense but I thought you Midgardians were so weak but my gods I have no idea how you’ve survived for so long”

“No offense taken” you force a soft smile.

Loki gave you a strong hug, you were probably hugging for a while but it only felt like a minute, you were holding onto each other for as long as either of you needed the other person. a few more minutes and he finally breaks the hug. He proceeded to write, no, scribble something down on a piece of paper “what’re you doing?” You asked with curiousness.

“I’m giving you my number, any time you need to talk I’m here for you, ok?” He said as he was tearing up. “I don’t care what hour, any time you need me don’t hesitate to call”

“I will” you say while giving him a sheepish smile as you start heading out of his room.

“Stay for the night?”

You stop in your tracks

“p- pardon?”

He laughs and takes your hands so you're facing him

“Pease, stay the night with me?”

#loki laufeyson #loki layfeyson x reader #fem!reader #abandoned #left behind #death #almost dead #loveless #get out of my life #dead to me #heartache #heart break #egg donor #shitty parents #real life #my reality

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loki-fanfic-whore · 5 years

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Consumed ch.9 (Final)

Warnings: hell and pain and blood and the usual. Bad grammar

I do not own the song sung during this part. It is called "third degree" by movements!!!!

@drakesfiance @jessiejunebug @onceuponagleepottermindlock @iloveyouthreethousand-o6 @imagine-that-100

Yes this is the second chapter for today. I'm really happy with this story...I never use structure for my writing, I just free style until I feel its ended well....I want to thank absolutely everyone who has read, liked, shared, commented and critiqued this story. It means so much for me and my self esteem that you are just taking a few moments of your time to enjoy what I wrote.

Thank you. 💚💚💚💚

Chapter 9 Consumed

"This isn't working! We may not be able to save her" Bruce struggled as he continued the chest compressions. You had a dribble of blood falling from your mouth. An indication they had broken your sternum. As normal of a symptom of CPR as this had been, it terrified them more. You were no where closer to coming back to them. They would have to declare you dead soon if nothing changed.

Loki sat completely unhinged on the ground sobbing into the small childs frame. Upon hearing Bruce's words his head shot up.

Loki stood and darted out of the lab. He was still holding his sweet girls body. Thor bolted out after him.

"Brother wait!" Thor cried out as Loki broke his shackles and opened a portal and jumped through it, Thor jumping in after him.

The landing thor had in this new realm ended up with him on his back panting for air. It was bright out but muted, almost as if a black haze was in the air blocking out the sun. Black wisps flew over head in different directions. Thor stood up and dusted himself off. He was trying to look for Loki, but the haze made it difficult to see.

"Brother mine, to what do I owe this pleasure?" A familiar voice rang out scaring Thor. He spun to see Hela standing on the top of a jagged cliff staring down at him.

"This is hel?" Thor asked staring around.

"It is what you make of it. No two souls see it the same....why are you here Thor?" Hela asked more pointedly.

"I was following Loki...He just lost his- wife and babe in child birth...I assume he is trying to find them and bring them back...he is carrying the babe still." Thor spoke rubbing the back of his neck. Hela sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I knew the child was different....follow me."

Loki stood in a valley of fire. He could see souls being tortured and destroyed over and over, but within the valley stood a small unscathed wooden cottage. Like the one he kept you in in Wales. He approached slowly, still holding his daughter. As he reached for the knob he heard music, and someone singing. It was a soft rock song

"I wanna keep you close to me, so I can feel you be my third degree!" His heart lurched when he realized it was your beautiful voice. A smile eclipsed his face until he looked down to remember his mission here. He was still holding your dead child. He needed you both to come back with him.

He pushed the door open to see you dancing in the kitchen singing into a spoon.

"Burn yourself into me and leave my body charred! So when you decide to leave I can write about my scars!" It was then you noticed him and gave him a huge smirk. You twirled for him to see you in the green sundress, with a black apron over the front.

"My prince, I didn't think I would see you again." You teased. He smiled just staring at your gorgeous face. You looked like you did before he had pushed you. You were healthy and confident and-. He let a gasp wrack his ribs.

"You are utterly beautiful....please tell me you are well?" He sat in a near by chair still cuddling the baby close. Your eyes went to the bundle that was hidden from your sight.

"Loki? What are you holding?" You ask inquisitively taking a step forward.

"This is um...well you never got to meet h-" a loud wail cut him off causing him to gasp. A giggle left your mouth as you turned and removed your apron.

"Someone heard your voice." You cooed as you walked out of sight. Loki stared down at his cold and limp child feeling tears slide unbridled down his cheeks.

You reappeared holding a crying child. You delicately pulled your breast out and began to feed the baby.

"Loki? Would you like to meet your daughter?...your real daughter?" You smiled as the baby suckled from you. Loki stood and moved closer.

"My sweet flame...you lost her due to stress...she never made it to her first breath." Loki spoke softly, his voice cracking. He was holding what was his child as he watched a clone feed.

"But here Loki, she did breathe. She eats and smiles and plays...here I'll show you." You gently unlatched the baby and held her in your arms for Loki to see. She had dark ebony skin with blue heritage Mark's and bright red eyes. She smiled a toothless smile and cooed happily holding her arms up to reach for your other hand which was dancing above her face. Loki let a sob escape as he held his childs corpse.

"My little flame...I need you and our daughter to come back...please...I cant live without you." Loki asked wanting so badly to hold his daughter's soul, but he knew better, if he put the body down she would degenerate to ash. He held her close. Your face fell.

"Loki...I can't go back...I let it consume me...like daddy said to. I needed it to take everything from me before I could control it."

"It has taken everything! It's taken our child from us both and its ripped you from me!" Loki seethed out. A huge smile graced your lips.

"Only once I have lost everything can I take it back and control it."

"What more is there to lose?!" Loki roared.

"Brother stop!" Thor ran between you and Loki.

Loki snarled as Hela joined the party in the livingroom.

"Loki, she hasnt lost everything. You have...its why you came here. You want to bring her back, but you can only save one...take your child back and accept the loss...your daughter is other worldly. She is if many realms and joins us all within herself. One day many eons from now she will rule over all the realms. She is so strong that even I realize her potential." Hela bowed gently to the corpse Loki was holding. Loki moved the bundle so she was no longer tightly pressed to his body. Hela stood and moved to you.

"I have to take your child from you. It isn't her time...and you have to allow her to live...without you." Hela gently took the soul of the baby and walked it to Loki gently pushing it into the body for a gurgled cry to cut the silence. Loki looked down with tearful eyes as the once cold baby was now fidgeting and breathing. He fell to his knees and wept holding her.

Thor looked back to see you standing in the kitchen with black tears running openly down your face. Your body was transforming, becoming the gaunt and emaciated version of you that they all knew. The sundress swallowing your tiny frame. He could see the black webbing up from your fingertips. Deep red cracks erupting along the ebony.

"Uhhh Loki...you need to get her out of here....lady embers is about to explode."

You stepped forward sobbing reaching out for your baby, whom Loki was holding tightly.

"Come with me...you can take it all back! You can have her and me and we can live anywhere! Just...just come back to us!" Loki cried out. You screamed angrily as you and the house erupted in flames. This time they engulfed you and you felt the burning. Loki took a step back fumbling. Thor ripped the baby from Loki's hands and bolted from the house. He would return the babe to midgard and await Loki's return.

"Listen to me! You need to control this! You can do it as I have said before! You have lost everything but here, and now, if you take my hand, let me help you control it!" Loki held out his hand, his body morphing into his Jotun form, his red eyes staring into your black ones as inky black tears slid down your cheeks.

"It's time my little flame. Come home to me. Come be my wife and lover. Help me raise our daughter and carry more children. Help me see the good in the world. I need you. I need to be with you!" Loki hesitated and your body was erupting in shooting flames. It was hurting you. It was going to consume you.

"Say it Loki!" You cried out feeling the power within you destroying you.

"I cant lose you! I-I love you!" Loki roared as you took his hand. An unnatural scream left your lungs as the black flowed from you onto his skin. He shivered as he pulled you hard against his chest. Your flames extinguished as you felt the flame within your heart contained and content. You returned to your mortal form and buried your face into his chest. Loki ran his hands through your hair and kissed the top of your head.

"I love you so much...I have...claimed the throne of Jotunheim for us to be able to live happily..." you looked up to his red eyes to see he spoke the truth.

"I can feel it beating within my heart. I am in control. It's no longer hurting me....take me home...my love."

Loki nodded and called upon the bifrost. Appearing within the lab where your body was still laying beneath Bruce and Natasha. Loki led your soul by your hand until you were beside your body.

"I love you so much...I'll be here when you return." He smiled and stood waiting.

"Yes...my prince." You teased before laying back into your body.

"I got a pulse! Keep the oxygen going. Jesus christ she is back!" Bruce was sweating but he was checking your pulse and then eyes. You laid there breathing until finally your eyes opened.

"Where am I?" You asked hoarsely.

"You are in the medical bay of the lab. You flatlined and we got you back." Natasha spoke softly as she put an oxygen mask onto your face tucking it behind your ears.

"Do you know who I am?" She asked gently.

"N-no...sorry..." you admitted staring at the different faces around you.

Thor entered the room with a bundle in his hands which was fidgeting and then began crying.

You winced as your chest began to lactate.

"Is...is that baby mine?" You asked gently sitting up only to have Thor pass the child to you.

"Yes. She is very special and is very lucky to be alive. She is your first and only child at the moment." Thor continued. Tony elbowed Loki and whispered.

"What the fuck did you do?"

Loki grinned and elbowed him back harder.

"I went to hel and back to get my daughter."

Natasha could only smile as you let the babe latch. You counted toes and fingers grinning wide all the while.

"She is beautiful." You admitted as you continued to look down at her.

"Uh-..whom is the father?" You spoke softly more for Natasha. Tony openly laughed and stepped forward.

"I-" Loki snatched him back by his suit and stepped forward. Tony rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled.

"I was gonna say Riendeer games!" Tony laughed as Loki hissed towards him then turned and sat beside you.

"Little flame? Do you remember me?"

"I-I don't...I'm sorry...I-I don't regret anything though..." you spoke softly as Loki cupped your cheek wiping away a tear you didn't realize you had shed.

"That's because you don't remember what you were supposed to regret...My name is Loki Odinson...I'm what is called a frost giant and I'm in love with you, I am the father of our beautiful daughter....I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you like I should have been..." Loki held you by the back of your neck as he rested his forehead against yours.

"I swear to you, little flame, I will never allow you or our daughter to be taken away again. Not by anyone. I promise to love you always and never become the very thing you despise."

You weren't sure why, but your chest felt tight. You smiled and closed your eyes as you changed into your Muspel form. Your skin becoming a deep black with beautiful rays of red and yellow light cracking through. Your eyes returning to their natural black as you stared at Loki. Your forehead still against his. He too changed into his Jotun form, the deep blue with light blue lines adorning his skin as his red eyes stared into yours.

Natasha, Bruce, Tony and Thor all watched as the baby cooed and giggled between the bossoms of her parents her own skin glowing from being in contact with her own creators.

They smiled as they drank in the happy sight.

You felt elated that even though you couldn't remember anyone in particular...

You no longer felt consumed.

#loki (marvel)#loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #im sorry #loki #loki odinson #slow burn #thor odinson #but i hate everything i write #final chapter #bad grammar #im not fucking sorry #im not ready

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