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#please don’t hurt me like this
runningwithscizzorz · 16 days
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Sacrifice of the flesh for freedom in the spirit
“M-May venom strike the evil from my broken heart, may a flood wash away my sins, may fire scald the demons in my skin. O, only in Death am I free…. I’m sorry, Umm, I’m so sorry…”
Incase y’all can’t read cursive
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drarrily-we-row-along · 2 months
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Hey friends. I always promised that I would write a disclaimer if I ever wrote something sad. So here is that disclaimer: this is sad. Harry is also experiencing some internalized “ace-phobia”, if you will. Just really struggling to believe that being ace is ever enough in a relationship with someone who is not. Yes, the author is hardcore projecting on the poor character.
“I’m sorry,” Draco said, and it sounded sincere, even Harry could hear the ring of truth to it over the splintering sound of his heart. “I just,” Draco swallowed, looked down at the glass in his hands, “I think living alone would be what’s better for me right now.”
Harry nodded, shoving down the emotions, pushing back the hurt, the yearning, as he forced a smile, “no. For sure,” he said, keeping his voice light, pushing every ounce of happy-for-you-undertone that he could. “Yeah. You have to do what’s best for you,” he agreed, and he meant it, even though it hurt the way that it hurt when you sliced open your foot on a piece of glass; sudden and sharp, terribly painful in its unexpectedness.
“It’s not you,” Draco said, reaching across the table and squeezing Harry’s hand, giving him a smile and Harry wondered what the other man could see on his face. “It’s not that I don’t want to live with you,” he said.
He nodded, “right. I get it.”
“And you can come over all the time, we can have a movie night whenever we want since I won’t have Pansy and Blaise to worry about.”
“Yeah,” he said, smiling. Smiling, smiling, smiling. Please Godric, let it be enough that Draco can’t see past it. “Yeah. That sounds great,” he agreed.
“Dinner once a week,” he promised, “and we can cook together!”
He nodded, plastering the smile even harder to his face, “I’d love that,” he said. Not as much as he would have loved doing the shopping together, and cooking together in their shared space but… best not to think about it.
“I love you too much to live with you,” Draco said, like that made any sense at all.
“Yeah,” he said, pushing down the tears threatening to spill, heart throbbing in his throat. “I love you too,” he said. Not too much, he thought, more than his body could hold sometimes but not so much that he couldn’t live with the other man.
“I’m sorry,” Draco said again.
And Harry wanted to make up a lie, wanted to tell Draco he had another appointment or something, but Draco was his best friend. More than that, Harry had thought. They’d started planning a life together; he’d told Draco everything, given him his entire heart. Draco had said that he wanted Harry forever too. Harry’s worked so hard to actually believe him. But that was probably just the mixed signals that Harry sent, confusing everyone that he loved because he couldn’t love them in the way that they wanted. “Don’t be. I still have Ron and Hermione.”
“You could try living alone too,” Draco offered, and Harry knew it was because of the conversations they’d had, about how hard it could be living with people who were in love. About how alone Harry felt even when he was in the same room as them sometimes.
He knew Draco was trying to offer a good solution, “nah,” he said, aiming for casual and hoping that he hadn’t missed the mark by as much as it felt like he had. “I don’t do well on my own. It’s okay. I’m okay,” he assured.
“Okay,” Draco said, giving him a little smile. “I toured an apartment today.”
“Oh,” he said, “tell me about it!” And he let himself get lost in Draco’s joy, lost in how excited he was for his own adventure.
“And it just feels right, you know?” Draco asked when he finished describing his viewing.
“I’m really glad,” he said, genuinely because he loved Draco. Loved him with his entire heart and wanted what was good for him. But he couldn’t say he understood. He couldn’t. Because all Harry wanted was to be able to come home to Draco at the end of the day. All Harry wanted was someone to sit on the sofa with and eat dinner with. He wanted to be able to take care of Draco, to love him on his hard days and to listen to his stories. Harry wanted a place to come home to where he could just shut off the facade, could just be Harry.
But they didn’t want the same things. That was clearer now than it had ever been. Someday, Draco was going to get married. Someday, he’d fall in love with someone else, someone who could love him the same way, someone whose body wasn’t broken, someone who’d want to have sex with him. Someday, he’d meet someone who could be enough, who would have the capacity to accept the love that Draco felt like was too much for Harry.
And Harry wouldn’t deny him that. He wouldn’t stand in the way. It didn’t matter that Harry loved Draco with everything that he had, with all that he was, in every way that he was capable of loving another human. It wasn’t enough.
It hadn’t ever been before Draco. It had been foolish to believe that could have changed.
How could he have hoped that it might be now? How could he have let himself dream that he might ever be enough for the best person he knew?
He loved Draco more than anything, so he did the only thing that he knew how to do.
He loved him with every beat of his bruised and bloodied heart. Harry set aside his own needs, his own wants, his own desires and loved Draco in the way that he needed and not in the way that Harry wanted. Harry set aside his hopes, and dreams, the plans they’d made together and begged his heart to be happy for the other man.
Be good, he begged himself. Be kind.
Love was sacrifice. How could he have let himself forget?
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onlyzhuyilong · 15 days
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“I told you to go undercover not get beaten up, did you find anything out?”
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It’s a big day for the white girls
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honeybcj · 6 days
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Trans regulus is so disgusting seek help bye
transphobia??? in my inbox??? on a friday??? yeah no thanks. anyway, i adore trans regulus in case anyone was wondering. more trans regulus for me <3
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carpetbug · 5 days
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i’ve never been super happy with how i color mari, decided to do a little test to shake off some art block
i like the ‘fixed’ coloring more as it’s just. pleasing on the eyes i guess?? and i like having small color differences for my au designs so im happy with mariblanc and feline blue designs :)
she is just a cutie at the end of the day really
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sirbird · 7 months
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My jaw hit the damn floor with this reveal…. I’m emotional 😭
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Gonna say it here too but Wei Wuxian has nothing to be sorry for regarding Nightless City.
He tried to speak but they refused to listen.
He was attacked first, defended himself, and was condemned for it.
They wanted to kill not only him, but all the innocent people he was protecting as well.
People blaming him for the ensuing slaughter when his mind broke upon Jiang Yanli’s sacrifice (which was ALSO not his fault like c’mon???) make no sense to me.
They pushed him to it.
They spit on the sacrifices of Wen Qing and Wen Ning.
They refused to hear him out and decided he was done for before Jin Zixuan even died, let’s be real.
(And no, 3000 cultivators did not die at Nightless City. Wei Wuxian straight up questions the absurdity of such a high number himself.)
I don’t know, I’ll probably delete this, but it boggles my mind when people hold this against Wei Wuxian when he was the one attacked.
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resident-gay-bitch · 11 months
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steve’s pov here :)
prey.
lots of prey.
that’s what eddie knew.
he watched them enter his land through that… thing. that hole in the ground that let off a high pitched sound and kept him in line. it scared him and his brethren. none of them could go near it. it hurts if you do. they’ve all learnt the hard way, whilst trying to escape. it burns your body to touch and turns your brain dizzy.
but the prey passed through it without an issue.
eddie watched from the top of the tree he was perched in, crowded around by his resting family, his cousins and friends. he watched the prey make their way through his world, listened as his master told him to kill.
eddie attacked when they least expected it.
he swooped down and swiped at one of their necks with his claw. he would have gotten it, if that one with curly hair didn’t scream his name.
it sent eddie flying back- he recognised it, the voice. the face.
it wasn’t prey.
it was a friend.
eddie flew away. too scared of what would happen if he stayed.
he couldn’t stay.
his master was mad. beyond mad at him.
he threatened to kill eddie if he didn’t complete his task. he’d send his brethren on the prey and himself.
eddie didn’t want that. he wanted the prey to live, he thought. well… the curly haired one. he didn’t know about the rest. but if not for that curly haired one, eddie might let master carry out that promise. he didn’t like this world. it was cold and dark and he felt dirty and he only remembered pain.
he flew back to his home, to his nest in a place he felt most safe. a safe place that was still standing. his old home, the one with who he thinks is his father from the other world, now destroyed to the hole that was too big and too loud and hurt too much if he flew near it.
his home in the drama room at school. he’d dragged mattresses and pillows and blankets back into the changing room and built himself a nest, collected all his favourite things.
he had a pile for his father, flannelette shirts all piled up on a bunch of random mugs. he had his sweetheart there too. he’d been collecting dice from everywhere he could find them, all different shapes and colours, they were scattered around his nest, and he played with them when he got bored and couldn’t sleep. he had a picture frame shoved there somewhere with a photo of his mother, a flower pressed under the glass that was her namesake. it was the only name eddie could remember; petunia. and he had the mangled old teddy bear she gave him as a baby that he curled up with every night.
but he had his most favourite pile there too, at the place where he lay his head every night. in the pile was a green and white jacket with a name eddie couldn’t read written across the back. there were shirts and two jumpers, a red and a yellow one. he had three odd socks and one pair, and some underwear, and a singular sneaker. he’d taken them all from a large house on the nice looking side of this world, from a room he didn’t like very much, but he remembered the boy that owned all those things was very special to him.
he couldn’t remember his name or his face though, and eddie cried about it every night.
he pottered around his nest, moving his things about and settling down in it. he hurried out and to the other side of his home where he had a pile of things he’d collected that took up too much space in the nest. he sifted through them; some more mugs, a weird al shirt, a pair of drumsticks, some comics, a bunch of action figures, a green ribbon, an old year book, some novels, an acoustic guitar, car keys, a cheer skirt, journals, a lunchbox- all things that made his heart clench to look at, to touch, but he couldn’t remember why.
except for the yearbook.
when he found the yearbook he got so excited he’d stretched out his wings and started flying in the tiny little room. he knocked over a rack of costumes with them, fucked up his nest, and put a hole through the wall. he didn’t care though.
he had the year book almost permanently open to one page. a page he remembered looking at a lot when he was younger. on the page was him, the man that eddie couldn’t remember the name or face of. the one he loved so much. and beside him was another man with eddie’s old face! he’d made it. he remembered making it. he wrote something, but eddie couldn’t read that either.
after finding that year book, eddie looked at the page every day and every night, whenever he could. he often went to sleep with the page open, he’d sometimes just sit there and look at it. he’d draw his claw lightly over the man’s pretty face and sometimes he’d lick it when he particularly missed him.
oh eddie loved him so much.
so that’s what eddie did now. he sat down in his nest and drew over his pretty face and he stretched out his long tongue until it touched the page and then he smiled.
he smiled so much his heart squeezed.
he missed his boy.
but his master was not happy with him. he made eddie go back out to kill them.
eddie promised himself he wouldn’t kill the curly haired one.
he flew out until he found them, and then he swooped down over their heads to give the prey a scare and perched himself atop an electricity pole. he crouched there with his wings hanging heavy down behind him and looked at his next meal.
only, he didn’t attack. not straight away.
there was something familiar about one of them. the one holding a bat over his shoulder, scowling at eddie. he had floppy hair and strong shoulders. eddie thought he’d put up the biggest fight.
but there was something about him.
eddie cocked his head and looked at him some more. looking looking looking. trying to figure him out. he ignored everyone else. the man adjusted his grip on his weapon, ready to swing it at eddie if needed.
eddie moved his head forward because… no…
no it- it couldn’t be.
it was him.
the boy in the picture.
the one he loved!
he straightened his back out in a flesh, sitting up tall, perched on the pole, and he let out a screech of excitement. he hoped the man was just as excited as he was.
his love leered forward slightly, looking ready to fight… to protect. oh, he looked so strong and brave like that, ready to defend his own brethren. eddie admired him so much. he was so beautiful. so strong. so handsome.
eddie stretched his wings out and stood, he let out another thrilled sound because- oh, because he was here! the one he loved was here… in his world! and eddie could have him.
eddie clutched at his heart like he’d just been struck by cupids arrow and fell backwards off the pole, like he was fainting. he was swooning afterall. he hoped to impress this man too.
eddie had to impress him.
so he free fell and right before he hit the ground he stretched his wings out further and lifted himself high into the sky. way higher than he needed to go. he looked down at the one he loved and- oh goodness, he just couldn’t help himself. he tucked his wings around his body and nosedived straight for him.
it’s what he’d seen his family do, when they found their love. one would fly high in the sky and barrel roll into the other, catch them, and take flight again.
it was their mating ritual, so it’s what eddie would do.
he crashed into the pretty golden haired love and had to take a moment to just look at him as he wiggled around on the ground beneath eddie. eddie tired to pin him down, to show him he was safe… it was just eddie. he tried to communicate, clicking his tongue to say “hello, it’s me, i love you” but he didn’t seem to get it.
that was okay.
eddie would show him.
but before he had a chance his wing was struck with an immense amount of pain.
he stretched it out to look, and found a hole clean through it, and he lowered it just enough to see one of his prey, standing there, a gun aimed right at him.
you hurt me, eddie thought, you tore me.
he was going to make her death the most painful. save her for last.
he looked back at his love and grabbed him tight and lifted up info the air. it made him scream, and eddie thought it was a nice sound. similar to his own happy call. eddie really liked this man.
he took him to his home, sweeping through the crack in the roof, down into his little home, and he lay him down in his nest. his love is the only other being allowed anywhere near his home.
the last being to try - his brother and friend - was ripped to shreds by eddie’s own teeth. no one breached these walls again.
eddie laid him down and crawled back to sit by his loves legs, crouched there and waiting. he looked at him curiously. he looked quite different than the picture. he had lighter, floppier hair, and some scruffy fur around his mouth, and he had this thing on his face that made his eyes look a little bigger than usual, and… clothes. in the picture he only had little swim shorts on. eddie hoped his love might take these clothes off soon.
oh eddie thought he was just neat.
the perfect new item to make home of his nest. he’d keep him here forever, that was for sure.
he was eddie’s now.
he looked a little confused, but that was okay. eddie would help him understand anything he needed. all eddie wanted to do was look after his love.
oh. the picture. that would help him understand. that’s how eddie could tell him he loved him.
great idea!
he crawled over to get it, leaving his love in the nest for a little moment. he sifted through some of his other things before retrieving it. he grabbed the book with his teeth, and crawled back over to pretty man, and perched himself as close as possible. he dropped the book between his own feet and pressed his hands on top of it to keep it safe, and waited.
when he turned back around to look at eddie, he freaked out a little. eddie thought it was very sweet. eddie wanted to see every face this man could make, they were all so beautiful. he cocked his head to the side and looked at him some more, trying to figure him out.
to ask if this was okay.
his love held up the jacket with the name eddie couldn’t read. he looked at the jacket, then back at his love, then back at the jacket, then back at his love and he felt warmth bubble up in his chest. he purred, hoping to let his love know what this meant. hoping to let him know he was happy that he was here. that he wanted his love to wear the jacket.
eddie noticed how his love was wearing one thing that meant a lot to eddie himself. a vest. one covered in patches and pins that he used to wear every day. eddie lowered his head to bump his loves shoulder and blinked at him once.
“it’s yours.” his love said, and it made eddie’s heart flutter so much! he loved the sound of his voice. it was so soft and smooth and eddie wished he could talk the same. his love tugged at the sleeve of the vest, “i know, i’m sorry. i hope you don’t mind. it helped ground me on the bad days.”
don’t mind? don’t mind!?
why would eddie mind about that? this was the best day of his life. not only was his love here, but he was here and collecting eddie’s things too.
eddie cocked his head, trying to communicate that of course he was okay with it. that he was okay with anything his love wanted.
“can you understand me?” he asked.
eddie nodded.
“can you talk like me?” he asked again.
eddie really wished he could. he wanted nothing more than to say that he loved him. he wanted to ask his name.
“i’ll take that as a no.” he hummed, and it made eddie’s chest vibrate, “you have a lot of my things.”
eddie wanted to collect more of them.
he dropped the book on his loves lap and watched curiously as he opened it. eddie’s heart was about to leap out of his chest when the man found the page eddie wanted him to see.
his pretty pretty love drew his finger over the page and read out the words eddie had written there many years ago… the words eddie had longed to be able to read or remember, and now he’d know, “by the time you graduate, this will be real, and he will be nice and want you back.”
oh… right.
yes. eddie loved him. he knew now. didn’t he. his love knew and- oh, he was laughing.
eddie didn’t like that. why was he laughing? did he not love eddie too.
eddie screeched at him and pouted because… because why would he laugh? that’s mean. it hurts eddie. it hurts eddie a lot. he would just like to love his love.
oh eddie loved him so much.
he watched with sad eyes as his love realised how much it was hurting eddie, and then he said, “you technically still haven’t graduated, you know?”
oh goodie. his love wanted him too!
he loved him so much he just- oh, he just couldn’t hold back any more. he flicked his tongue out and licked up his loves cheek and it was so much better than licking the picture. this time, when his love laughed, eddie liked it.
this was a good laugh.
“licking? really?”
eddie smiled at him and nodded his head because, yes. of course! he had to show his love and that’s how he did that. that’s what he knew. he hoped his love would lick him back… but maybe that’s not how those creatures showed their love.
that’s okay. eddie would learn eventually.
eddie helped shuffle his love back to cuddle because he didn’t care how mad his master got right now, eddie had his love and he’d finally be able to sleep well. he was sure this would be the first sleep he got without crying since waking up down here, in this world.
he curled up with his teddy and wrapped his wings around his love, curling into his lap and chest. eddie pressed his ear up over his heart to listen to the steady drum beat of it inside. it was one of the best sounds in every world. eddie started to purr again, feeling warm and dizzy against his love. he smelt amazing, and eddie nuzzled his face under the vest to get closer to him.
eddie felt his love pet his head softly and hold him a little tighter. eddie didn’t think he could love something any more than he loved this being right here. he was going to keep him forever. protect him and make sure he was safe, and well fed, and warm. he’d stay here, in eddie’s home, where no one else was allowed to go so eddie could keep him for himself. if he wanted anything, eddie would fetch it for him.
eddie would love him with every fibre in his body and more.
he’d do anything for his love.
he was sure of it.
if only he could remember his name.
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itzshrike · 1 month
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Unpopular opinion but I want wrecker to have an arc/and or get seriously wounded. Because like almost every other bad batcher had episodes revolving around them but wrecker. He’s just the side character, but like just imagine he actually gets an episode solely focused on him. And I know last episode he kind of got to shine with Hunter and fennec but like I need more wrecker content people…
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smol-stardust · 7 months
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You can’t tell me dazai wasn’t somewhat disappointed chuuya didn’t carry him princess style
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runningwithscizzorz · 6 months
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I feel a deep sense of anger and grief for Palestine. I’m angry at God, at the world powers donating to those who are killing civilians, angry at people looking away and encouraging you to worry about yourself when people can’t even walk down their streets without being attacked. I’m angry that my friend donated, only for it to be stolen and taken by the soldiers abusing Palestine. I’m angry that I can’t do much of anything but tell you to at least CARE about the people being bombed and slaughtered. Please, if you can’t do anything please just CARE about these people and listen to their stories. Hold them in your hearts at the very least. Don’t pretend they don’t exist or just brush it off as “its been going on for centuries, there’s no point in stopping it.” I want to do more, I want to make people care and love those who need it, rather than continue spreading anger and hate.
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These are real people I’ve drawn. Keep the people of Palestine in your heart at the very least please.
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devilishdelights · 8 months
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daily 1 am touchstarved posts: i hope we get to kill them in their routes. one of them at least. or use our curse. just be a bit silly:)
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e-m-p-error · 1 month
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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | Perhaps for an eclectic combination of Era & Hellaina, Jayden/Vel, Val/Vox, and Vox/Tello(/Val)???
For each “⭐️” I get, I’ll write a headcanon about our muses.
[ Erasmo ]
⭐️ Era was the reason Hellaina joined up with his friend group of criminals. He met her and took her in when she needed someone to be there for her, as he was wont to do. Era was always picking up strays.
⭐️ He mistakenly thought that she was into him after what happened with April and he declined feelings he assumed she had. It was a mostly well-received rejection because she wasn't interested and that helped him relax more with her.
⭐️ When he went into porn he used some of his money to help her with a vehicle that needed to be repaired. He was always willing to help if he was good for it.
⭐️ He considered her a close friend, though Missy remained his only best friend.
[ Velvette/Jayden ]
⭐️ Velvette still manhandles him often, no matter what they are doing or where they are.
⭐️ She has served him drinks with little toys in the bottom of them. She thinks it's funny when he chokes on them but always makes sure to help him when he's choking.
⭐️ Velvette is very focused on his health and happiness and is the first person to gentle him when he needs it.
⭐️ While they got married for the joke, she found that she actually really, really did love him. He's very important to her and she'd never file for divorce.
[ Vox/Valentino ]
⭐️ Before their big talk, Valentino believes Vox doesn't care about him because their sex life is lacking due to Vox's general disinterest in sex.
⭐️ Vox does not understand Val's obsession with his horoscope, but he listens every day when Valentino reads him his because it's important to him. It's one of the sweet things that Valentino does for Vox that isn't sexual and it proves he cares.
⭐️ Valentino doesn't know what to do with one of his love languages, since Vox can't eat. During one of their excursions to Earth, Valentino rents them a hotel room with a kitchenette and he makes Vox the most delicious eggs benedict he's ever had. Cooking for a partner is something he considers an ultimate show of love.
⭐️ Valentino never felt more seen or heard with Vox than he did the night they were drugged and forced into Honesty Time. Their relationship grew closer and stronger for it, and Val is honestly more secure in their relationship now than he's been in decades.
[ Vox/Ostello/Valentino ]
⭐️ Ostello has written and performed 50 love songs for Vox before Valentino fell. Valentino is at a healthy 22.
⭐️ Valentino has to teach Ostello how to have sex with him properly but is willing to because of Vox mediating between them.
⭐️ Vox's involvement is half of why Ostello gets to live. The other half is that they actually communicate about the lackluster sex.
⭐️ Ostello loves Vox more than anything but is instantly infatuated with Valentino. He did talk at length with Vox about it, because he values open and honest communication.
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grace122 · 9 months
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i’m gonna cu-
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ujunxverse · 9 days
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also ppl need to STOP hyping lsf up they’re cute but… that coachella performance… there were good moments and they have potential but they’re clearly not ready for such a big stage 😭 like if u put their performance side by side w ateez or even blackpink i’m sorry but they got BODIED only chaewon did well 😭
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