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box-dwelling · 2 months

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KLARYAN KRISNIX PARALLELS PLEASEEEEE I HAVE SO SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT TOO BUT I CANT ARTICULATE THEM QUITE RIGHT PLEASE ADD YOUR VOICE TO MY INTERNAL BRAINROT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

@vexx-ation you also asked so here we go. (As have a few anons sorry this is long and it's taking a while to write everything down)

So my Klaryan take is kinda a mega theory that takes a lot of mini theories into consideration so here it is. This will be long. This will be unhinged. This is my Pepe silvia

Tw for discussions of substance abuse and abusive relationships

1) AA4 parallel foils

Ok so this is semi common knowledge. Every character in AA4 is ment to be a direct foil to a character in aa1. This is well documented and also applies to a lot of the witnesses too. Apollo is a foil for Phoenix, Ema is a foil for Gumshoe, Trucy is a foil for Maya, Klavier is a foil for Edgeworth. This goes on for almost every charcater in the game.

But here's the thing. The trilogy already has foils already. So some of these charcaters end up being massive parallels to eachother. A non relevent example I think about daily is that Trucy and Franziska are very similar but where this is relevant is Klapollo and Narumitsu. I have a post explaining this I'm more detail but basically while far from identical there are a lot of perhaps unintentional but at minimum unexplored parallels between Phoenix and Klavier and Apollo and Edgeworth. This is important.

2) Krisnix as an allegory for substance abuse

So first of my opinion of this doesn't really influence my take on grape juice but it's pretty undeniable that even if you don't think Beanix has addiction issues, hes almost coded to. There's the comment about Ema and the white powder and then the extent to which he's always surrounded by grape juice which at minimum looks like wine. In universe it's easy to see this as a part of his mask and that is my in universe take, he's trying to look in a bad way to hide how he's actually doing.

But I think we can take this further. Miles and Kristoph are superficially very very similar characters however underneath are deeply different and as such have a very different effect on Phoenix's mental state. Miles is absent during the 7yg at his request. And there's a miles shaped hole left in his life that he wants to fill with something that is superficially the same but is in it's effects very different and very bad for him.

Anyone who has dealt with addiction will likely recognise that pattern.

3) Klavier is on some level (whether he's in denial about it or not) aware that Kristoph is in some way dangerous or abusive and was running from him with the band

This is mostly just my take on how he acts in sucession and another very good post that I'll have to find that talks about how similar him joining the band was to the things the other people involved with the Gramarye trial did to try and evade Kristoph.

4) Phoenixs biggest flaw and how Kristoph tests it

So I basically never shut up about this in some places but might not have talked about it here so the tldr of this is that Phoenixs biggest flaw is that he is constantly trying to see the best in people. The final test of this is not breaking the black psyche locks and accepting that just because he's a human being with complexity, doesn't mean his actions are excused or that Phoenix has to forgive or protect him.

So this is where we can start bringing it together a bit.

Klavier and Phoenix are both very similar characters and both victims of Kristophs abuse. Phoenix has a relationship that exemplifies his harmful behaviour after the trial, it's pretty interesting to explore the same thing happening to Klavier.

Especially when we start to compare Daryan to Kristoph and find that they're superficially very different even if both of them turned out to be murders. Kristoph is reserved, Daryan is brash. Kristoph is classy, Daryan is flashy. Kristoph is well spoken and poetic, Daryan is straightforward. You get the idea.

And isn't that fucking fascinating? That Klavier ran to someone who was the complete opposite of his brother but ended up being just as dangerous? And also is it not really interesting that as Phoenix has to learn to accept Kristoph's humanity doesn't excuse his actions. If we take Klavier running to Daryan in this way to be him refusing to acknowledge the human side of his brother, that but running to the superficial opposite and not recognising what truly did make Kristoph dangerous, he fell into the arms of a murder.

And of course, the person he then falls for, is someone who is Apollo. Who is genuinely a good person but was Kristophs mentor and is very similar to him in a number of superficial ways. He has to stop running from his trauma and confront it head on.

Basically this interpreation means the klaryan/ Klapollo and Narumitsu/Krisnix love triangles function as basically a microcosm for how these two handle their trauma and how they have to over come it and each is a direct mirror of the other.

My take on Daryan

Ok people might have seen me joke that he's straight. Here's the thing. I think he definitely has been sleeping with Klavier. They are in some kind of relationship. Buuuuut, I do not think the feelings he has about the relationship are ever well traditionally romantic or sexual. I think it's driven from his side primarily by envy and rage that Klavier gets the spotlight more than him. He can never upstage Klavier on stage, but he can posses him. He can make him feel like shit as revenge.

My General Klayran timeline

They start whatever their weird thing is during the 7yg.

After 4-1 Klavier spirals a lot and it puts intense strain on their relationship because Daryan does not care about this bitch and does not want to support him

4-2 Klavier meets Apollo, sees him in court and kinda starts to develop a big old crush. He realises that Daryan is making him miserable and breaks it off after the case

4-3 newly broken up and it's taking its toll. Then we'll 4-3 happens and that's the end of them.

#ace attorney #klaryan #krisnix #klavier gavin #daryan crescend #aa4 #kristoph gavin #phoenix wright #beanix #klapollo #apollo justice #miles edgeworth #narumitsu #wrightworth

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valrnyx · 4 months

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Forever Discourse: Link to Original Thread + More

This post contains links to the original Twitter thread as well as other posts that provide evidence or context to the situation. (This post will continually update with anymore information that is found)

January 10th Update: Forever has been kicked from QSMP. He has made a third and final? video in response? to the situation. There are English subtitles. (I have not watched the video yet beyond the first minute)

https://x.com/forevitao/status/1745104252672856501?s=46

With this post, I'm gathering evidence both for myself and others. In my opinion it's best to gather as much evidence and context as you can and form your own opinion rather than just listening to what others say. Get as many sides as possible.

TW: Pe*ophilia (it truly varies between posts but most have their own tw’s)

To start, here is a post that I think sums up what’s happening (from what I can see and what I’ve read so far): https://www.tumblr.com/anachronistic-falsehood/738711971942334464/hi-sorry-i-dont-have-twitter-but-do-you-know-why

I think I managed to stumble my way into the original Twitter thread. For any interested, here’s the link… (it’s all in Portuguese obviously) (if this is not the original thread, let me know): https://x.com/diaboier/status/1743153136523472904?s=46

I also found another thread that seems to add more evidence or summarizes the thread? Yet again, I don’t speak Portuguese so I’m not entirely sure: https://x.com/morningcriw/status/1743164198928978127?s=46

Someone sent in a Google doc with a lot of Forever’s old tweets translated (this seems to be accurate. I started Google translating some of the screenshots from the original accusation post and they match up with the translations in the doc): https://docs.google.com/file/d/16RKc9968cA8Ybc8Hw7Dl2cevO3w52mZx/edit?usp=docslist_api&filetype=msword

I also just saw this pop up. It’s discord screenshots translating a tweet of the supposed victim. I say supposed as there’s no real evidence to show that it’s really the victim (All the twt screenshots have the usernames and pfp’s blacked out, for good reason): https://www.tumblr.com/magicalmanhattanproject/738731128507285504/id-discord-screenshot-the-first-messages-from

Here are two tumblr posts translating what Forever said in response: https://www.tumblr.com/imnotasweetie/738727736369102848/a-friend-of-mine-who-is-a-portuguese-speaker-did

https://www.tumblr.com/pamela-lntt/738713715054116864/translated-statement

I originally took these off as an anon said that it’s not great and that cultural context doesn’t apply to these kinds of things but after looking around a little more I think it is. Cultural difference is not an excuse, but nonetheless it’s an explanation. It still absolutely does not excuse his actions though. I have no way to verify if any of these are true though. Please keep that in mind: https://www.tumblr.com/thesmpisonfire/738775397927469056/that-one-brazilian-person-in-the-tag-with-the-very

https://www.tumblr.com/anachronistic-falsehood/738780432119808000/the-forever-situation-is-lacking-a-lot-of-context

https://www.tumblr.com/lonelyspacedragon/738779192959844352/the-one-and-olny-thing-i-will-say-about-this-as-a

https://www.tumblr.com/valrnyx/738784381189144576/cultural-differences-are-absolutely-not-an-excuse

As of January 6th, Forever has gone live to address the allegations again. Here is a a overview of what he said (I have no way to verify if what is written here is true): https://www.tumblr.com/dumblemonade1/738790758479527936/so-he-hadnt-seen-all-the-tweets-about-the

https://www.tumblr.com/imnotasweetie/738807755379474432/alright-fellas-here-is-the-full-translation-of

Please give Quackity and his team time to decide how they’re going to handle this. They’re human too. This post says it better than I can: https://www.tumblr.com/trashfangirlsworld/738796977181032448/i-dont-have-much-to-say-about-the-situation-with

https://www.tumblr.com/54625/738805511556939776/im-not-gonna-talk-about-the-whole-foreve

Apparently a host of CC’s have unfollowed Forever on Twitter: https://www.tumblr.com/magicalmanhattanproject/738802843036844032/more-developments-on-the-forever-situation

https://www.tumblr.com/weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral/738805954396798976/hi-i-bring-you-context-some-people-on-twitter-dug

A post that’s close to my own thoughts about the after effects of what’s happening: https://www.tumblr.com/murky-tannin/738809119351390208/there-are-a-lot-of-bad-things-about-this-situation

If your are an English speaker, take a step back as well as a deep breath. Let’s not jump to any conclusions or huge actions. If you are able and willing, take your time and do your own research. Don’t believe the first thing that’s said. Misinformation spreads like wildfire. Especially when the discourse isn’t in your native language and are relying on others and Google translate.

Be mindful of your words and support victims. Words can have a huge impact on someone even though you can’t see it. This post says it better than I can: https://www.tumblr.com/cupsmp/738692732272394240/also-once-again-in-any-situation-please-support

Everyone please be careful with your mental health. Take a break from social media if needed, get some water, something to eat, and take a deep breath. Go outside or talk with your friends. We will make it through this.

#forever discourse #forever situation #forever player #qsmp forever #qsmp discourse #qsmp

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sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee · 1 year

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Could i request gotham, BTAS, telltale, and Arkham riddler with an asexual s/o?

Gotham, BTAS, Telltale, Arkham Riddler with an Asexual s/o

Absolutely you can! I've actually seen some hcs around for various Riddler's being ace and I can totally see it even if it's not my personal interpretations. Kind of the nice thing about doing interpretations for comic book characters is there's so many people on this tiny screaming rock and we can apply all different perspectives. I hope you like this!

TW: NSFW (nothing particularly graphic but still talking about sex)

Gotham

If he were being honest (and honesty is most of what he would like to give to you), sex is not his top priority. He wouldn't classify himself as asexual because he's got kinky predilections- yet his life is certainly not going to be much different without it.

If you're okay with him (safely) exploring solely sexual things with other partners, then he will. If not, then he won't. That's rather the purpose of places like the Foxglove, isn't it?

Furthermore, if you were alright with him exploring with other partners and aren't sex-repulsed, he wants you to be involved (in a sense). Not sexually, he wants to add. But he thinks it's only fair you meet the people- especially if they're regular. Get a feel for the place. Even if you're not participating, he wants you involved/knowing in all aspects of his life.

That's what partners do, right? They make things work because they love each other and they keep things transparent. It isn't much of a question for him, it's the answer.

Ultimately what will happen is based around your comfort. He'd give it all up if that's what you wanted. Just holding you at night sleepily kissing your shoulders in your own little world- just the two of you.

BTAS

Explain it. You don't need to exact any personal details or anything if you don't want, just explain what asexual means for you and how you both need to proceed.

In his world and time it's not something you hear about often, but he's more than willing to learn. He's the type who, once you explained it, would go on to think of historical examples of people who were the exact same way! Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla!

He's going to tell you in scores that what he's in love with the most is your brain, anyways. You're wonderfully attractive, yes, but your mind... How could that compare to the mere distractions of the flesh?

Is he going to still desire you in that way? Yes, but if he feels himself getting too riled up he'll go to another room and "take care of himself." Just give him a kiss when he comes back and he's going to be pleased as punch.

He's going to ramp up on the romantic dates. It's a point of pride for him that if he can't express his love in one way because you don't like it, he's going to go at it another route that you do like and appreciate. Fortunately with all his dorky charm, he does make a pretty good date.

Telltale

Oh? Is that it? When you originally told him you had something important to tell him, he'd assumed it would be information that would change your relationship in a big way.

It does not. Were you expecting a larger reaction?

The truth of the matter is, he's an older man with a reduced sex drive anyways. Any drive he does have can easily be satisfied on his own, if that's what you were worried about.

If you were worried about it, he'll tell you not to be ridiculous. He cares for you. If he didn't, he wouldn't stick around. Having or not having sex would be such a petty deal-breaker in his mind considering how few people he truly likes much less could love.

And he loves you. You should know that by now. He's not going anywhere.

Arkham

One of the first things he would ask is if you would care if he had "just sex" with other people. Knowing his reclusive state, you'd likely give a teasing scoff and ask who he was planning on asking. He concedes and says it's logical for him to just take care of himself. That's okay.

That being said, he would greatly appreciate and encourage... materials from you for his masturbatory use (yes he says it just like that). Dirty pictures of you posing in various states of undress should do the trick if you're not comfortable jerking him off or being in the room with him when he does. He's not going to judge!

He makes it rather clear that he wasn't interested in you for sex. He could get sex from anyone. But you're not anyone, are you? No, you're better than them and therefore suitable to be in his company.

If anything, expect a tad more of that quiet romantic side to come out. Similar to BTAS- If he isn't going to show you how much he really loves you in that physical sense, he's going to have to up his game. Expect him to be a bit clumsy in this because he has the social skills of a feral cat.

It might be difficult for him at first to make his physical touching towards you more tender than sexual. A lot of this does trace back to those poor social skills as he's isolated himself further from other people and "normal" interactions/dating. But he's making the effort because he needs you to be happy with him.

#telltale riddler #gotham riddler #arkham riddler #btas riddler #edward nygma #the riddler #x reader #asexual #foxwriting

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michirikapchiyyy · 4 months

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hey wait a second. something's not adding up. in what universe do galahad and percival make out. what in hades.

OMGGG I FINALLY GET TO TALK ABOUT IT LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok so

Percival and Galahad from arthurian legend do kiss in the Holy Grail quest! I worded it as making out as a joke, they don't make out-

BUT THEY DO KISS

It's meant to be a platonic kissy obvs similar to how in Kirby you kiss when healing but it does happen

The text is actually multiple, as there are so many versions of the grail quest itself

"When the two companions had tarried there until the hour of prime and had seen enough, they left and rode until they came to a forest.

Being about to enter it, Perceval said to Galahad: “To day we must separate and each go his own way. So I commend you to Our Lord’s keeping, and may He grant that we soon meet again. For I have never found a man whose company seemed so sweet and agreeable as yours; so this parting grieves me much more than you may suppose. Yet it must be so, since it pleases Our Lord.” When he removed his helmet, Galahad did the same, and they kissed at parting, for great was their love for one another: this appeared clearly in their death, for one barely survived the other."

The Quest of the Holy Grail W.W. Comfort's translation, page 220

You might find this kiss too in other more popular books such as Le Morte D'Arthur book XVII chapter XII

And there's other kiss later on in book XVII chapter XXII

If you pick up the physical book there might be a chance for the word to have been changed to "embrace", but some versions of it don't touch that word.

Ramble about the grail quest below, I finally have a perfect excuse to let out all my thoughts on the story and the grail knights hehehe

Percival and Galahad in general can switch to multiple dynamics based on authors, as arthurian legend is basically a bunch of people who inserted their knights ocs into this other story and then others recreated those oc's stories to make it cooler or fit in with those times. So Percival and Galahad can go from being the same person, friends, family and other things depending on what the author chooses. This applies to all characters in Arthurian Legend, there are no actual things set in stone. The canon is messy which is why sometimes u might see people hate a character but refer to it as "I hate Lanval's Guinevere" instead of the character as a whole because there are MULTIPLE versions of that character.

I'm gonna give a basic ramble about some of the story and show interactions I like between these two from multiple books after the ramble

HOWEVER I should warn and add a CW/TW that there's character death and implied su*cide (Galahad's death), the second one being more complicated due to how it's handled as Galahad wishes and asks for death and when it comes it's more of a "guys look he ascended he is now with Jesus Christ yippeee, what a cool act don't you wanna pray now" WHICH IS HMM KINDA BAD

I should also say that some parts of the Grial Quest are quite problematic as it puts down other religions and those who follow it as "sinners" or not worthy.

The grail has multiple interpretations as to why there has to be a quest for it, to spread religion, to heal the land and multiple others. Galahad is brought to the round table and does some cool stuff such as pulling out a sword from a stone similar to King Arthur and sitting on the Siege Perilous (a seat who kills anyone who sits there unless you are the chosen one). The Quest is related in some way to Joseph of Arimathea from the bible™ and in some interpretations the grail knights meet Jesus Christ himself. After achieving the grail Galahad asks God for death as he thinks he's lived long enough (he's like, VERY YOUNG??? AS IN HE IS KIND OF A LITERAL C H I L D??). Galahad seems to just inmediatly throw himself at objects that could kill him and is very careless which is kinda sad because even if he is supposed to be a character who we admire as God's knight he is also a kid who doesn't have the best parents and barely has friends, quite literally raised and born FOR the prophecy so it's no wonder he doesn't exactly know what to do after completing his "only purpose". I personally find the grail quest quite tragic, as I love Percival who's biggest dream was being a knight (he's also a babie™) and Galahad's death affects him enough to fully retire from it. Even if it's portrayed as him being "inspired" by Galahad's death enough to convert even more to religion. Not to mention he dies soon after anyways.

Now that u know some of it I can throw some interactions at full speed at you ohohoho SOME ARE ANGSTY OTHERS ARE CUTE AND FUNNY-

That's all tumblr is allowing me to show, also sorry Camachine for using your ask as an excuse to ramble about these two /lh. I'm big on Arthurian Legend and always wanted to ramble about it.

#I'm a bit flustered to post this ngl I'm not super used to rambling but I really adore these two sm so 👉👈#they are quite tragic imo but also THE GRAIL TEXT IS SO FREAKING BORING IM SO SORRY I DO NOT RECOMMEND IT IT'S B A D #I'm not sure if I should tag this as falsgato-#thanks for the ask!#michi's rambles #michi's askbox

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arctic-fox-queer · 8 months

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Comparing the RQ community to the BITE model.

Clear tw for mentions of cult tactics especially in the linked website. Also this probably counts as discorse so ignore if you dont want that.

So I've seen people call the radqueer community a cult and i would like to have a open discussion about it and compare it to the BITE model. I do have a rule that if you insult me or the rq community i will point it out and wont respond unless its rephrased without insults. I encourage you to do the same I will do my best to be respectful but i do sometimes get upset. There are issues in the community and I think its important to recognize them and work on fixing them.

Here is what i am directly using please let me know if my source is incorrect or unreliable. Also feel free to add what the website doesnt list.

Also please note i am talking about the general community and not specific places like discord servers. I'm sure there are some cult like discord rq servers and that isnt okay and they need to be called out specifically by radqueers and antis. I also think this model is good to use if you do have an off vibe about a specific space so people can recognize unsafe spaces.

Ok so lets go through each letter and what applies to the community

B: Behavior control

None apply mostly because its not a organized community with a leader n stuff

I: Information control

Extensive use of cult-generated information and propaganda, including

b. Misquoting statements or using them out of context from non-cult sources

-i put this here because it can happen but i argue most people have the fault of being biased and misquote stuff when being biased i admit ive done it myself if im not careful.

T: Thought control

Require members to internalize the group’s doctrine as truth

d. Organize people into us vs. them (insiders vs. outsiders)

-this is a big issue in the community and i think it being so stigmatized makes people worry about others intentions so they try to protect themselves by having a us vs. them mentality, i also argue this happens in general mogai spaces maybe not as bad but still happens. So definitely happens and needs to be worked on

Rejection of rational analysis, critical thinking, constructive criticism

-Mostly the same as before people are so used to the same arguments as to why they are bad that any disagreement sounds the same so its just ignored. It is important to listen to constructive criticism and mostly why im making this post.

E: Emotion control

Instill fear, such as fear of:

b. The outside world (assuming this can apply to outside the community)

c. Enemies (antis i guess?)

e. Leaving or being shunned by the group

f. Other’s disapproval

- while this is rarely if ever intentional or outright there is a general feeling of being excluded/shunned if you dont agree with everyone/the community especially in private rq spaces, i do my best to avoid this in the spaces i run and i hope to fix this issue because its bad for everyone involved.

#radqueer #transid #transx #radqueer discourse #discourse #anti radqueer #anti transid

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wonhosmistress · 11 months

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Aphrodisia;Prologue

(NSFW)

Word Count: 1,196

Warnings: Slight mention of Kinks, sexual BDSM themes, sex work, and lastly, TW! toxic-ish relationship mentions. Think I missed some? Lmk and send me a dm, I'll update this.

A/N:I have no IDEA how long this took for me finish because I’ve been teasing this series for a couple months with the only two teasers I mentioned of Hyunjin. Seems I have a lot of sub!Hyunjin enthusiasts because same y’all. 😩I promise to finish the Hyunjin before June ends and after that I’ll focus more on other members.

Anyways! This is the prologue enjoy this unfiltered, unedited, there will be hella grammar mistakes and I don’t plan to edit it because it’s too much work and I honestly just want to post ASAP. It’s been far too long since I’ve written and had any sort of inspo to write. Thanks to my dear mutual @nirvanawrites111 she gave me hella inspo with her amazing works!! I’m obsessed with her writing please go do me a favor and read her amazing stories/fics.

Also I tried to add the read more on mobile but I’m a dumbass and idk how to work tumble mobile sometimes lmao. So I apologize for anyone that will see this and doesn’t want to see it.

As a result of unsuccessful relationships and partners being concerned about where she went or what she was doing, she became more secretive about her whereabouts. Even though she wanted to be honest and open with them, she hesitated on many occasions; if she were to be bold and unapologetic they would go insane and ask questions like, "Why did you choose this job out of all the others?", "Are you cheating on me?", etc.

Those tiresome scenarios were one of the reasons she was always the one that broke it off with them, and so she took it upon herself to take a break from her dating life to focus on herself.

She had a job that wasn't just any regular job.

OnlyFans? No

Camgirl? No.

A phone Sex worker? No.

Feet pics? No.

Used panties? No

For her working at night was ideal because her sleeping schedule only allowed her to be a night owl. Even before any partner appeared in her life she was still in the process of discovering a whole new part of herself that she wasn't aware existed, and here she was in a dungeon that she had been hired at over a year ago and was one of the few popular dommes among the clients.

"How are you feeling?", She stood next to the man sitting on the loveseat.

"I'm good, Mistress." He smiled at her.

"Would you like some water?" He nodded in response.

She walked towards the room next door and back to the playroom to hand him the bottle.

She crouched down to his level to face him as well to check in with him, "How are you feeling? Was it too much?", she asked curiously as to how she could improve. What she should've done is saved that question for the head domme but she didn't and took the risk.

"No. Not at all. It was perfect, I enjoyed every second of it."

He faced her smiling at him and held her hand realizing he shouldn't be doing that.

"I'm sorry...may I?" She smiled warmly at him not pulling her hands away from his grasp.

"I just wanted to say thank you."

While she had not broken skin or drawn blood, she still left a few red welts on him. She grabbed the first aid kit in the corner and treated his wounds, trying to be as gentle as possible.

"No need to thank me. You went out of your way to give it a shot when you could've easily backed out and I would've still respected your decision. BDSM isn't everyone's cup of tea and so we've learned to respect everyone's decision."

She applied a first-aid ointment to every single red mark on his back; he hissed at the lightest touch, "I'm sorry, I know it hurts I'm just trying to make sure these heal quickly and nicely."

"I know and I appreciate it."

"Done." She stood up and handed him his T-shirt. "Make sure to take a warm bath or shower after you get home and keep applying ointment on the marks afterward.

He smiled at her making his way toward the exit.

"Will do.",

She smiled at him and nodded, seeing him off.

That was one of the roughest BDSM scenes she had done in a while. She would like to take time to make sure her submissive didn't go into a sub-drop, but sadly she couldn't. If it were her, she would go out of her way to remain with every submissive for a bit longer. However, her boss had to remind her that they only came here for a service nothing more. Because of this, she couldn’t be there for more than ten to fifteen minutes with her clients after their sessions ended.

~~~~~

"See you tomorrow night!" Her boss told her as they both headed in different directions.

She silently walked for the next couple of four blocks by herself and finally got closer to her apartment. She walked up the stairs and opened the door to her place. The second she got in she took off her shoes left them at the entrance and hung her purse on the rack.

Exhausted and couldn't even begin to explain how she felt after handling four subs back to back today. It was not an ideal situation for her couldn't handle more than two subs a day because her anxiety and insecurities kept creeping back up on her.

She meditated, journaled, exercised, and even set days apart for self-care plus, she detoxed from her constant electronic use. She ate healthily and did her best to keep her homey environment clean and organized. However, regardless of what she did something inside her told her she couldn't keep doing this.

She craved something new and stable.

She loved domming but maybe because of all her ex-partner's insecurities of themselves as she hid her true identity was reflecting on herself.

Could it be that deep inside she was ashamed of her job and what she did?

Years ago when she discovered the person she truly was glowed with confidence. How could she even be a dominatrix if she wasn't sure of herself and her current job?

Oh no.

She was experiencing not only her anxieties but also a dom drop.

Telling her boss; she was fine could've been a mistake because she was responsible for taking care of her dommes since half of them didn't have a partner to take care of them.

Fuck.

~~~~~

Two years Later:

Two years and a half of learning Korean were a big help during the entire process of her moving across the world. She wasn't fluent yet but could manage conversations with her neighbors, classmates, and strangers. And so here she was, sitting inside a cafe shop a couple of blocks from the Korean class she had just finished attending.

It seemed like only yesterday, she was experiencing the worst anxiety and burnout from only a year of working as a domme which was odd considering that she had never once felt like that before. But it made sense since she kept getting the gnawing feeling that she shouldn't have gotten into the dominatrix world way too early and so she took it upon herself to resign to take time for herself; and continue her future as domme by researching more information about the career, lifestyle, and possibly a new business.

The grueling work of research, language learning, space vacancy, furniture shop, etc made her take a step back and reconsider if she could do this all by herself. Thankfully, after taking a couple of weeks to continue her research she found herself posting on an exclusive adult site looking for dommes to work with her.

After returning calls and doing interviews she had successfully found four dommes who wanted to continue their careers in the kink community and so never once she thought, that she out of all people would be involved with any of Korea's music industry. Especially the ever so sexually frustrated men of Kpop that had an image and reputation to uphold in the industry, their companies, and not to forget their fans.

#sub!kpop #ximes’ 💭#ximes’ inferno #sub!idol #Aphrodisia

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aspd-culture · 2 years

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Hi all, welcome to ASPD-Culture. You can find the DSM-V TR's diagnostic criteria for ASPD at the bottom of this post.

Here's how it works! You can use asks or submissions (on or off anon, asks allow for anon while submissions don't for those who don't know), to submit things you either are struggling with as someone with ASPD, or that you think others with ASPD would find relatable. These can be serious, meme-y, or somewhere in-between. It's ok if it applies to other disorders too, as long as it relates to antisocial personality disorder/the symptoms and associated traits of ASPD.

Send as many ask you like, I am not afraid of a full inbox. Do not feel like you're bugging me; I thrive on the attention and validation of the inbox full of asks. 😈

I welcome questions, vents, confessions, and personal submissions as well as more general ones! I cannot accept anything that would cause anyone legal trouble to say anonymously or otherwise, and please no names unless they are fictional/celebrities; you can use the first letter if you want tho!

Please note that fakeclaiming/ableism against "edgy teens" is not welcome here. This blog is pro well-researched self dx, and is not interested in guessing who may/may not be faking. Submissions will be taken in the good-faith assumption that you are being legitimate.

That said, ableist submissions will be removed and not posted. Waste your time if you want, *shrug*. Also, this blog is not the place for nt people or people with other disorders to complain about ASPD, though they *are* welcome to submit questions/asks in good faith as long as you aren't complaining about pwASPD or intentionally being ableist. If you aren't sure if something is ableist, you're welcome to ask my opinion on that, though I'm only one pwASPD so I'm not an authority. People with ASPD are welcome to vent frustrations about their own disorder, as well as how having ASPD may cause conflict with others with this/other disorders and/or frustrations about dealing with pwoASPD as someone who has it. We have to mask our frustrations with prosocials everywhere else in life - please feel free to be open about them here. Prosocials please try not to feel attacked by these, they're just vents likely being used to make sure we don't say anything hurtful irl.

Being that ASPD can have violent thoughts as a symptom, non-targetted posts about violent thoughts are ok, and will be posted with appropriate tws. If I miss any tw, please let me know and I will add it asap. Because of this, you don't need to add tws in the submissions unless you want to. That said, please be aware of the type of text-based content you may see on this blog. It's ok to block, unfollow, etc if you need to. Words like ps**hopath and soc**path may or may not be censored, but they will be tw tagged (tw psychopath and tw sociopath respectively, as well as tw aspd stigma), so if you reclaim those terms that's ok, but be aware I will tw them.

I think that about sums it up! Ask/submit away!

A quick shoutout - I was inspired by @cluster-b-culture-is because I love their content, but I found myself wishing there was one just for ASPD especially with the recent rise of acceptance for BPD but not the other cluster b's (to be clear tho, cluster-b-culture-is does not support stigma against any sort of elitism within the community, and is a great blog that you should follow if you like their content!).

Edit: Here is the diagnostic criteria for ASPD as of the most current DSM (DSM-V TR), quoted directly. Please note there are diagnostic features, development "criteria" (things that cause the disorder to develop), and presentation/associated features to think about as well. You cannot diagnose solely off of having 3/7 of the following criteria, but 3/7 is all you need in combination with meeting the other stuff to have ASPD. This should help steer away ableist additions that people constantly try to make to the criteria.

Plain text below the cut:

Hi all, welcome to ASPD-Culture. You can find the DSM-V TR's diagnostic criteria for ASPD at the bottom of this post.

Send as many ask you like, I am not afraid of a full inbox. Do not feel like you're bugging me; I thrive on the attention and validation of the inbox full of asks. [Smiling devil face emoji]

I think that about sums it up! Ask/submit away!

A quick shoutout - I was inspired by cluster-b-culture-is because I love their content, but I found myself wishing there was one just for ASPD especially with the recent rise of acceptance for BPD but not the other cluster b's (to be clear tho, cluster-b-culture-is does not support stigma against any sort of elitism within the community, and is a great blog that you should follow if you like their content!).

[Transcription of the image included] A screenshot of the Diagnostic Criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder (code F60.2) quoted directly out of the DSM-V TR.

Criterion A.) A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occuring since age 15 years as indicated by 3 (or more) of the following.

Subcriterion 1.) Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.

Subcriterion 2.) Deceitulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.

Subcriterion 3.) Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.

Subcriterion 4.) Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights and assaults.

Subcriterion 5.) Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.

Subcriterion 6.) Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.

Subcriterion 7.) Lack of remors, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

Criterion B.) The individual is at least age 18 years.

Criterion C.) There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years.

Criterion D.) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. [End transcription of image]

#aspd #actually aspd #aspd vent #aspd awareness #aspd traits #aspd stigma #antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #actually antisocial #actuallyaspd #cluster b #personality disorder #cluster b pd #ask blog #submission blog #ASPD culture #aspd-culture-is

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dabislittlemouse · 11 months

Text

If you could take a second to read this:

Hi guys, I just wanted to bring attention to the topic of trigger warnings and tags for a moment. ‼️‼️‼️

Since we’re on a public site and me & many mutuals have a huge audience, it would be for the best to put tags for things that might be triggering to some.

I didn’t do it before, but since it was brought to my attention I started putting tags too.

There are many people who get triggered by things like smoking, weed, alcohol, sadly it is more common than you think. So even if you post a simple picture of a character smoking, it won’t cost you anything to put “tw: smoking” in your hashtags. So people who have that tag blocked, won’t get triggered by that post cause it will be hidden to them.

Tumblr thankfully has made it possible for us to block certain tags that trigger us or we don’t want to see, so I kindly wanna ask all my mutuals or people who have a huge audience to do this simple thing and put proper tags on their posts.

If you want a huge audience following you, then please put proper tags in your posts. It won’t cost you anything. Let your followers enjoy your content instead of them getting triggered by your posts because you didn’t put tags and it wasn’t hidden for them.

“Tw: smoking, tw: weed, tw: noncon tw: blood etc” in your hashtags is really important.

And this also applies to me as well, as I said I didn’t put tags before cause I honestly didn’t know that people could be also triggered by alcohol or smoking for example, but now I do, and I want to spread awareness to others who don’t know this as well.

Putting warnings in your tags is even better than just writing it in your post, since it hides the content due to filtered tags option.

Edit: that also goes when you reblog stuff related to these topics

Please let me know if there are certain things that could possibly be triggering so I can be more careful in the future and add tags on them.

I want my followers & mutuals to feel safe while following my blog and enjoying my content.

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lovetober22 · 2 years

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Welcome!

Lovetober is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge for October for folks to create work about characters/people who love each other. Whether that’s platonic, romantic, or any other kind of love is up to you! There are 31 themes, one for each day of the month, as well as a few alternative options. Creators can make any type of work they choose, whether that’s writing, art, edits, or anything else your heart desires. The prompts can be used as specifically as you’d like and are made to be as flexible as possible. Creators can feel free to participate as much or as little as you’d like and I will be sharing as many as possible here on this blog.

Prompts

If you’d like me to be able to find and reblog your posts, here are the tagging rules. You can also feel free to tag the blog in posts, but this is how I will be looking primarily

#lovetober22 (event tag)

#theme (what prompt you’re writing for)

#fandom or #OC

#medium (gif, fic, art, etc.)

#trigger or #nsfw (try to tag for any known/common triggers or nsfw content that apply, because of how tumblr works remember not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself)

anything else you’d like

I’m happy to answer any questions you have for me! Here are some questions I know people often have about events.

Is x allowed?

There aren’t really any rules here, but please try to use tags to help people know what to expect.

Where can I post my work?

I will be checking the tumblr tag and have created an AO3 collection that folks can feel free to add their work to, but you can post wherever you’d like.

Will you accept stories that were published before hand?

This is fine with me. I will be checking the tags during October. I think it’s fun to create and post for events as they happen, but I think people should do whatever is going to let them have the most fun!

#lovetober22 #writing #art prompt #writing prompt #prompt #fic prompt #art #october #fall #halloween

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azuresins · 10 months

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Obsessed with the notion the Phantomhives are descended from/are part Si... it would explain almost everything. Our!Ciel's cat-eyes that were never addressed or explained. Why people are so drawn, why they're otherworldly and beautiful, why the Royal Family assigned them the position of "watchdog" yet, also saw them as a threat and wanted to get rid of them, how they can see supernatural beings without trying to...it might even explain Vincents youthful face... it also adds weight if Undertaker was one of them or connected somehow, there's so many more layers if that is the case... even small things, like having an affinity for sweets and having powerful emotions like Our!Ciel's revenge, fits... I've read so much fae folklore over the years... they love dairy, and they love sugar... they love being mischievous. They adore playing games. They are neither good nor evil... You know what they hate? Fire. And, their home being disrespected.

Thank you so much, putting this under a cut because it's long and I actually feel like talking about Tanaka??? If only because. I've been thinking a lot about him and what his part might have been in this... a lot of it is speculation... I'm taking this rant into a very different direction. There's a reason why a lot of anime/games have celtic influences. (tw: Suicide mention)

I'm trying to be very careful with my wording here because I know these come from two entirely different cultures, and they're in no way the same at all in most regards especially manners of worship and I can't get into all of the detail it deserves... this is more-so coming from others who have also drawn comparisons (please don't think I'm the only one for the love of god, this is what practitioners of Shinto and celtic historians have said, and it's reflected in a LOT of anime/japanese media). But Shinto, and some Celtic beliefs and mythos, have a lot of overlap... (I also think Japan and Ireland also have a lot of things in common, period, that people don't consider but that's for another post) in that each of them believe that "Spirits" (very loose term here!) can inhabit, or live in, forces of nature, animals, rivers, trees, ect. and that they can be good, or evil, or neither. And both cultures believed strongly in the role of spirits, and... death? The reason why I bring that up, because I think that if Tanaka knows what they are (assuming the Phantomhives really are what I think they are 👀), he's altogether not that shocked about it, and has deep respect and reverence for the family. To be honest I think he knows and has known for a while, and I am very stuck on it because I think it's very interesting? Tanaka is underrated in general. Samurai, historically... weren't supposed to live after their "Master" died. Traditionally, they're supposed to kill themselves. Even when these rigid rules started to die out and they were finally allowed to trade Masters (as long as they had permission from both parties), it was an extremely shameful thing to lose a Master as a Samurai, if that happened... and they were forbidden to learn any other trade, or take another job until they were disbanded completely in the 1870s. Ronin (ex samurai) were treated like crap!!! Tanaka would have been alive, when these rules/laws/practices were still in place. I think he's interesting because Tanaka found a realllllllly awesome loophole when he became a servant to a British/Western family. Because, he's always going to have another Master or Mistress to serve, as long as Phantomhives kept having children. Even if one Master died, another one would immediately take his place and still need him. The rules applied differently in England because in Japan servants weren't necessarily inherited the same way... this way, he'd always be safe, in that sense. Even after those rules no longer applied at all and Samurai disbanded completely... I'm sure he ADORES the Phantomhive family (if that wasn't already obvious) and while we really don't know his backstory... we don't know if he's a Ronin, or if he went to work for the Phantomhives willingly/legally by Japanese standard... but I'd imagine either way? He is extremely loyal to them and he probably wouldn't leave his home country, for just any old family. I think he knows what they are...he's been with them through too many generations not to. Even Sebastian probably doesn't frighten him all that much... he's seen some shit, I am sure and I am also sure he's fine with it. In all likelyhood he probably has a deep reverence for them to be honest if he's religious, or spiritual at all... It just...makes me deeply sad that he feels like he was responsible for what happened the night of the twin's birthday because (lol) obviously there was a reason why he felt he couldn't use his sword. Someone was protecting the perpetrators, someone he felt like he couldn't raise his sword to, attack, or kill. :( ... There's only so many people it can be, I'm afraid. If Real Ciel was there that day and had some small part to play in what happened even if he wasn't the mastermind, Tanaka can't be expected to raise his sword against his own Master, can he?

#Kuroshitusji #Black butler #Tanaka #finnian name theory #tw: suicide mention

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

Note

TW : neglect, abuse

Do you have tips on how to "expand" my understanding of relationships? To be clear I mean any existing type of relationship when I use that word.

I feel severely stunted because a lot of bad stuff that happened to me. When I was a teen, I had one or two good relationships with equally stunted people, and the rest (family, classmates, teachers...) was either distant or straight up toxic/abusive. I relied heavily on fiction because I was craving love and connection, but also healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Now I still have my comfort fics, ships ect to cope and they do help. The problem is that it made me internalize romance as direct equivalent to human connection - when there are so many other types of love and human interactions.

I have pets that I love, a sibling that I love, friends that I love, but I still feel a bit awkward. It's like I know a lot more about romantic and same-age platonic relationships than everything else.

So far I've gotten into more media about family (especially chosen for obvious reasons) and it does help. I'm also using the knowledge from my childhood and family media to bond with kids from my extended family. Even helping my dog with her trauma symptoms seems to have taught me more.

Do you have any tips to nurtrure a more diverse vision of human relationships? Thanks a lot

Hi anon,

I'm sorry about what you've been through.

I think it can be hard to renovate your understanding of relationships when you haven't really had an example of a healthy relationship. It may not be a simple or easy process.

I'd like to show you this ask I answered about what a healthy relationship looks like. Although this is more about romantic or sexual relationships, it could also apply to platonic or other kinds of relationships as well.

Ultimately, getting comfortable with healthy relationships simply takes time.

I hope I could help. If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse

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writersfearofrecognition · 1 year

Text

Ignorance is bliss

Summary: Jacob and his childhood best friend slowly realise their feelings while trying to survive the quarry.

Pairing: Jacob Custos x nameless/female!OC

Warnings: jealousy, cringe dialogue, miscommunication trope, pure ignorance

TW: none i think (i hope, please tell me if there are i will gladly tag them)

Chapter 1:

„alright kids, go get your water bottles filled up and then go to…Ryan?“ i asked questionably while looking at Kaitlyn, my childhood best friend. she nodded without looking up from the clipboard in her hands.

the kids run off without another question, probably more than happy to get some rest after that hike.

„ugh.“ i kneel down and let my head hang. „DUDE! already tired?!“ Jacob yells as he jogs to us two, from the back of the camp. „10 miles, dude, 10…miles…“ „and 20 kids,“ Kaitlyn adds and i lay down completely, feeling the cold dirt under my shaking legs. „i can’t feel my feet anymore.“ Jacob laughs and kneels down next to me, blocking the sun from my face. „Come on, we have to start the party.“ „mhm,“ my eyes stay closed and he laughs even more. „alright Jake, your musk is ruining my mood, don’t you have to do something? away from us?“ i open my eyes again and see the little fall Jacob’s face makes. „Kaiti, knock it off. we all stink. me probably the most,“ i sigh and stand up, „come on jakey poo, let’s shower.“ Jacob frowns at that nickname, his daily reminder of his first drunk peeing accident during our freshmen year. „dude! i don’t smell,“ he almost pouts. „okay, i do and i don’t want some kids sneaking a look so you can stay watch.“ Kaitlyn scoffs at Jacob’s expression and turns around, concentrating on her work again.

„do i actually smell?“ „Yes, Jacob. we all do. that’s not why i wanted you to come with me,“ he paused and i could see the gears in his head turn, „huh?“

„because i want to hear the newest tea about you and Emma?“ „oh.“ he grinned and sat down on one of the benches turned away from me, while i undressed and got in the shower. „Now spill.“ „uh- we kissed…yesterday.“ „and?“ „well…it was nice. but she made clear that it’s just a summer fling. like…yeah. i agree.“ „really?“ i couldn’t believe he was that logical for once. „duh. our college is way further than hers, like 6 states or so. it won’t work. and…we had that plan for…ever and she has her plans…“ „huh,“ i peaked out of the shower, „you actually believe that? are you really that logical when it comes to love?“

„dude,“ he frowned at me and i couldn't keep my smile contained. „i’m just asking.“ „i worked hard for the scholarship. and we are not in love,“ he scoffs but i could hear a little something in his voice. „sure jakey poo.“ „alright. what about you and…drew?“ „Dylan,“ i corrected. He knows his name and was only asserting unnecessary dominance, typical footballer, „we are friends. he is 100% more gay than bi. and i am as you know, not in search of love a month away from the move. since i am,“ i come out the shower with a towel around me and stand in front of him, „that logical when it comes to love.“ he opens his eyes and gives me a questionable look. „senior-you would be impressed. you left a lot of broken heart around.“

„yeah? good that we’re leaving then huh,“ i say while getting out my new clothes that are more evening appropriate, as in black jeans and a white and black striped turtleneck sweater to keep the bugs away. i turn to the sink to apply the sunscreen and Jacob looks away again. my towel falls to the floor and i start to smear the cream around with a sigh. „how many days do we have left?“ „like 2.“ „damn dude.“ „damn Daniel.“ i snort at his ancient reference. „i think i will actually miss this.“ „really?“ „yeah. the hiking, the nature��the late night activities.“ he snorts now, „what are your late night activities?“ „well, the girls’ cabin is full of party when Emma’s…busy. the pillow fights we have had…“ i was lying straight through my teeth. But Dylan, Ryan, Kaitlyn and i have sneaked out more than once to meet up at the camp fire for deep discussions about god and the world. with the appropriate music of course. the main reason why me and Dylan were so close, was because of our similar music taste. „alright, sure dude. just say you’re jealous of me and go,“ he grins and my towel hits his face. „Dude!“ „i am most definitely not jealous of your summer fling. if i wanted to i could.“ „mhm.“ „What? Nick is a manwhore. Abigail deserves someone better.“ „Nick?“ Jacob asked quietly. „what?“

„is Nick even your type?“ i pause. …Nick was just a smidge taller than me, i liked them taller and bigger…and he was too ‚well, actually-‚ for me. „yeah,“ i shrugged and at the same time shrugged off the weird feeling i got the more i thought about my type. „huh.“ „what?“ „you flirted with my team and now you’re after the cook?“ „whaaat? i like food.“ he laughs and leans back, still with his eyes closed. „you like muscles more.“ „shut up.“ „eh.“ „alright, you never had a crush on anyone and now you’re telling me so found your soulmate in the woods?“ „soulmate?! we are not soulmates.“ „are we not jakey-boy?“ we both jump and scream in shock. „Emma! you scared me to death.“ she giggles and bows at the door before walking further inside. „Em…“ Jacob turns towards the door and opens his eyes, Emma’s are on me instead. She raises her eyebrows at the situation she caught the two of us in, but only jokingly, she told me all about the situation. Assuring that it was nothing more than a fling and she had no real hard feelings. Without me showing any interest in knowing but yeah. typical Emma. „i- was only joking.“ Emma hums and sits down on the other side of the bench, furthest away from Jacob. „what are you two doing?“

„i needed to shower, i smelled like a bear. he should too, but he’s aqua-phobic it seems.“ Emma smirks. „Is he?“ and finally looked at him. he looked like a goldfish, his mouth agape, not really sure what to say to not bust his chances. „i-.“ my sunscreen was dry so i throw on my sweater and grabs the rest of my belongings, including the towel in Jacob’s hands, ready to get away from the sexual tension. „i’ll leave you two, don’t do anything i wouldn’t do,“ i yell over my shoulder and walk out, bringing my old clothes to my cabin and then get to the campfire. i had begun this habit of thinking extra hard about my next steps, every time i knew Jacob and Emma were together… but my mind is busy the second i was down the stairs of my cabin again, since Dylan’s arm falls on my shoulder. „hey there Partygirl, ready for the almost last party?“ i hum and smile up at him, „ready as i’ll ever be.“ he grins and i continue, „and remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…“ he groans and pulls me to the lodge, where i meet Jacob’s…mad face while walking past the showers. did something go wrong with Emma? „guess what i’ve heard?“ Dylan got me out of my thoughts again. „eh yes?“ my eyes snap to him again and i can hear Jacob stomping down the stairs behind us. something definitely went wrong there. „The kids voted on the two best counsellors…and we two are in the lead.“

„me? against Emma?“ „yes ma’am.“ „damn.“ we walk over the small bridge crossing the river and his arms falls from my shoulder. we two walk on without it.

„but yeah. of course. we are the best. i would have never doubted us in a second,“ i exaggerate and he shakes his head. „a little more confidence, woman. i notice the looks you get.“ „mhm,“ my mind was elsewhere, Ryan and the kids were sailing on the lake. „look Ryan,“ i point to the lake and Dylan steps away from me immediately. i snort, „alright Dylan. i think Ryan noticed your crush a long time ago. no need to act like you are uninterested in women.“ „what?“ Dylan was busy waving at Ryan and the kids. „your sailor will come to shore eventually, don’t worry.“ Dylan sat down on the logs and got out the guitar from the tent, jamming along and turning it some more. i search for the lighter instead. without finding it. „hey dylan- oh hi guys.“ Emma, Jacob and Abigail were walking down the small hill, Jacob furthest away from Emma. „did any of you see the lighter?“ Emma gets it out of her pocket with a wink. „i won’t ask why you had that…should i check him for any markings?“ i joke but Jacob doesn’t listen, he’s deep in his thoughts. „…Jake?“ „wha-?“ „where were you just now?“ Emma asks grinning, mischievous sparkles in her eyes. Abigail gets away from their energy and instead helps me getting out the food and drinks from the tent. „we need more wood…“ Dylan mutters but makes no effort to gather any. typical. „well.“ i stem my hands in my hips and wanted to order Emma and Jacob to get more wood but she was faster than me. „You did enough here already, how about you and Jake walk to the stack and get it.“ i pause. why would she pass up that chance…? „alright…“ i exchange looks with Jacob, but he still seems far far away from me. mentally. he follows me without a word.

„jacob.“ he walked on, not noticing i stopped after we two were out of reach from the others. he looks back with a confused look, his eyes snap open once he sees how far away i am and comes back to me. „what’s wrong?“ he asks and i scoff. „i could ask you the same, what happened between you and Em in the shower house?“ he falters and his eyes dart around, not meeting my eyes. „i- well. it…maybe i was a little stupid and-.“ „you’re not stupid.“ „yeah i know, but- i think i messed up.“

„between you and Emma? what happened?“ „nothing- nothing,“ he shakes his head, „we just talked and she opened my eyes a little and…yeah. i need to think.“ „alright…“ i give him a weirded out but still smiling look, „you get all the time you need…but i want to hear your solution.“

i pat his shoulder with an encouraging smile. „yeah…yeah…you definitely will,“ he laughs awkwardly one last time and i give him a suspicious look which he doesn’t meet. i walk on but he stands still, so i drag him by the biceps until we were by the big wood pile of Mr. H. the stack of woods that i gather into my hands is promptly removed by Jacob. „hey-.“ „i’ll carry it. you’re still exhausted from the hike.“ „uh-,“ he doesn’t let any discussion happen so i stack the wood in his hands and we walk back without a word. when we’re back, everyone is already there and Dylan was playing the first song. Mr. H makes way for us and Jacob lets the pieces fall into the pit, the kids marvel at his strength and he plays it up a bit while we all laugh. his eyes skip Emma’s and fall to me for the first time during his usual posing and i frown confused. Emma gives me another wink and i laugh embarrassed. somehow she got the memo but i hadn’t. then Nick appears and yells for dinner and the moment is gone again. everyone, including Ryan, Dylan and Kaitlyn run for the lodge and Nick waits for me, as usual, but Jacob and Emma insert themselves into our conversation. Abigail walks next to me but doesn’t say anything; her glances say everything there is to know. „how was your day Nick?“ i ask and Jacob closes his, normally overly excited open mouth with a humph. „it was alright. i had time to walk around, saw you guys working,“ he laughs and i laugh as well. „really? we were pretty far out.“ „yeah i saw you at the beginning of the hike, i was on the way to…“ he pauses and i continue. „to the art station? because that’s where we started.“

„eh yeah. my feet just guided me.“ „mhmmm,“ i tease and Abigail’s big eyes snap towards me and i give her a small teasing push and an eyebrow wiggle once Nick looks away.

„you know, i bench pressed the kids today,“ Jacob looks towards Nick, me and Abigail as he said that, Emma was looking ahead with a smile, watching some kids wait for us. „really?“ Nick asked, „that’s a lot. i don’t believe that.“ „well. Kait is my witness.“ „i believe him,“ i mutter mindlessly, more watching the kids as well, „he bench presses a lot. like a lot a lot.“ „yeahhhh,“ Jacob puffs up his chest and grins while Nick shakes his head laughing. „okay, sure. your bff will always have your back. that’s not a credible source.“

„excuse you? are you insinuating i lie?“ Nick looks at me with a panicked look and backtracks immediately. „no- i mean when it comes to him, more likely, but-.“ „i’m joking Nick,“ i laugh, shaking my head and Jacob laughs. „can’t even tell when she’s joking…“ he gives me a look behind Nick’s back and i give him a mean look and roll my eyes. he always did that with Nick since the first day of camp, teasing and borderline bullying him. out of the corner out my eye i can see a black-haired woman wave at us. Kaitlyn. „Guys, come on, this isn’t high school, mommy won’t cook you more if you come late. you two should know that,“ she pointed at me and Jacob, most definitely hinting at the times where we were late for ‚family’ dinner aka the dinner all of our families shared on a monthly basis. „Okay, Okay Kait, don’t eat my food again!“ i run on and Jacob follows me immediately, catching me on the steps and throwing me over his shoulder. „i caught us a tasty dessert, kids,“ he yells once he kicked open the door, to Mr. H. disapproving look. but the kids love it. Jacob walks a victory lap with me and then jokingly almost throws me into the fireplace in the middle before setting me down. i hit his chest with a heave and sit down next to Kait, who already gathered my food. „Dude, not for me?“

„no can do, my loyalty is only enough for one meal.“ „wow,“ he deadpans and gets his food alone at the station.

In the meantime our bench got full with little admiring kids and he had to sit down elsewhere. i did not really notice, i was too busy entertaining the kids with stories about the fearless Kaitlyn.

A/N: this is a pretty old fic i wrote and left forgotten in my notes but it is finished so i wanted to share it :) i will post the other parts eventually, with some edits and what not since the formatting here is pretty off compared to my usual writing program.

anyways.

hope you liked it!

#jacob custos #jacob custos imagines #the quarry fanfic #jacob the quarry #jacob custos fanfic #idk how to tag stuff

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inkings-things · 1 year

Text

Intro/Info

Hi! We're the Starry Inkwell System, you can call us Lloyd or Inkwell! This is a blog we've made for a work of ours that we've named InKings for the multiple layers of puns. As of right now, it's just something to think about for fun and we have no intentions of like, publishing it or anything. We do however want to share pieces of it and have a place to store our info/ramblings, so here we are! We'll add onto/change this as we go, so check back occasionally!

InKings is a medieval fantasy-type story that primarily focuses on two royal families- the Petrovs of Frosmire and the Galeforces of Nightgale- and the weird succession line of a crime-clan-turned-kingdom whose name has yet to be changed from Toppats. Oracles have long spoken of the world ending, but two years back, a dying king spoke a prophecy into existence (this is paraphrased); a dark storm will come to cast all life into shadow. A sword will rise to defeat the beast. An shield will rise to rally the call. A mirror will rise to take the throne. A curse will finally be broken. If not, all will fall. (IN PROCESS OF REWORKING)

Character Breakdown Post: https://at.tumblr.com/inkings-things/so-here-we-have-the-character-and-deity-sheet/dtqcek8kl70m

Trigger Warnings/DNIs/Before You Interacts below cut:

The basic DNIs for our main @the-starry-inkwell still apply. We'll block just as liberally here.

InKings started as an au of another person's THSC au and grew from there. We will not be addressing the original au or it's creator due to extensive trauma surrounding both. There still are similarities between InKings and that au and we are not comfortable with discussing it. We don't mind you interacting if you were a fan of said au or its maker but please just don't bring it into our space.

This media means a lot to us. It's incredibly self-indulgent and we are very aware that it's far from realistic. Many of the things included are sourced from people in the system, so please keep that in mind.

We'll extend on this as needed.

As for trigger warnings- this story includes instances and/or mentions of;

Child abuse

Murder

Suicide and self-harm

Miscarriage/stillbirth/children dying shortly after birth

Alcoholism

Dissociation and unreality (particularly people discussing symptoms of such- i.e. "I don't think I'm real")

Possibly triggering mental health discussions

Religious trauma

Religion used both positively and negatively

Imposters/impersonators

We will try to stay on top of TWs using the wording of "tw (blank)". Please ask if you need any additional tags.

#info post #important #must read #read before interacting #read before following #inkings

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chatxkilluaxnoir · 1 year

Text

I posted 207 times in 2022

That's 80 more posts than 2021!

53 posts created (26%)

154 posts reblogged (74%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@chatxkilluaxnoir

@iscreamkitty

@nostalgiaruinedme

@theskeletongames

I tagged 203 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#tmnt - 60 posts

#tmnt 2012 - 56 posts

#undertale - 46 posts

#teenage mutant ninja turtles - 36 posts

#tmnt 2k12 - 34 posts

#ut - 32 posts

#chat's posts - 29 posts

#chatxkilluaxnoir - 28 posts

#killua noir's rambles - 27 posts

#tmnt 2012 anniversary - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i think it is cute that the oldest and youngest both have blue eyes but in different shades to more fit their personalities and/or aesthetic

This post gets pretty long, so I am putting a "Read More" Cut here:

My Top Posts in 2022:

Chapters: 2/15 Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Angelica Zilver/Aaron Zilver, Dipper Pines & Scarlet Zilver, Dipper Zilver & Scarlet Zilver, Alcor the Dreambender & Scarlet Zilver, Alcor the Dreambender & Reincarnations, Alcor the Dreambender & Aaron Zilver & Angelica Zilver, Dipper Pines & Scarlet Zilver & Aaron Zilver & Angelica Zilver, Dipper Zilver & Scarlet Zilver & Aaron Zilver & Angelica Zilver, Reincarnation/Reincarnation, There are more relationships but since I don't want to spoil the fic, or the reincarnations are in this fic, I won't be tagging them, just yet Characters: Dipper Pines, Dipper Zilver, Alcor, Alcor the Dreambender, Aaron Zilver, Angelica Zilver, r!'s, Reincarnations - Character, OC's, Original Characters, There are more characters in this fic to tag, I.e. those reincarnations and original characters I tagged, but once again I am not tagging them because of spoilers, and because I thought it would be fun for people to guess who was the reincarnation of who, not all reincarnations are revealed in this fic though, so unless there a lot of correct guesses for someone(s), I probably won't confirm anything until later, for reasons..., Gravity Falls Characters Reincarnations, Scarlet Zilver Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Non-Graphic Violence, Violence, I think it is both?, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Tell me if you think it is more than implied though, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, maybe? probably?, Demons, Demon Summoning, Seeing things you shouldn't have, Magic, Magic (Spoiler), Family, Family Feels, Family Drama, Dysfunctional Family, The Zilver Family is a mess, but they didn't always used to be, Kidnapping, Kinda?, The Zilver Family need therapy, But will they ever get it?, probably not, But we can hope., Tags May Change, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Maybe on the last two, i might add more tags as i go on, if some of you think I could/need to add more tags, please just let me know, Some new tags will be added here, or some certain chapters will get their own cw's/tw's, added in the author notes if need be, Not Beta Read, Maybe will be someday who knows Summary:

A Girl of striking red hair and her Saviour of Shadow met in a Forest of Death.

These two then wouldn't meet again for many years later.

(though not for a lacking of trying by one of them)

And when they did finally meet again; a deal, a bet would be made between them.

Perhaps it was a deal better not made.

----------

Well.

Too little, too late...

------------------------------------------------------

Also, I almost forgot to tag @transcendence-au about this! New TAU fic hot off the presses! I also have tumblr versions I posted/am posting too! I probably won’t tag you those, because I don’t want to bombard you guys with tags.

Other reasons, why I am tagging you guys on this post and the AO3 version, instead of the tumblr version(s) (for now, I might change my mind), is because so far the tumblr version(s) are showing up in the transcendence au tag, while this post isn’t (maybe because it is new, though, the tumblr version is showing is up, and I posted that one later. Maybe because there is a link? Or something. Idk), so you guys (or others) might have a harder time finding this post as-is.

So yeah.

Edit: This is now showing up in the transcendence au tag, so that is cool. I guess it just needed more time. Or maybe me removing and adding back in the transcendence au tag on this post fixed it not showing up. Either way (or some other reason), I am happy.

Anyways, I am excited to be posting this fic (even if posting fics can be tiring! ^^’)!

The rest is under the cut (I thought this post got a bit long, so I decided to add a cut).

I decided to just delete the original version of this post, because I can only seem to share Ch1 specifically through this method anyway. But, this post will at least show I have posted two chapters of this fic already, while the original one (which, most people won’t see anyway, since it will be gone soon), only shows I have posted 1 chapter.

In the original post, I talked about my notes doubling up on Ch1, now that I have posted Ch2, I was able to fix that.

Anyways, the first 2 chapters, i.e. Part 1 and 2 of the Prologue are now posted on AO3.

Will be posting any new chapters after these 2, every one or two weeks...give or take.

I might (real maybe here) post the “official” Ch1 earlier than I said, but I am not if that will be the care or not.

Seriously though, once again happy to start sharing this fic with ya’ll!

Will also be posting the tumblr versions of the first two chapters hopefully soon as well. =)

Edit 2: The first and 2nd chapter: Prologue Pt.1 & Pt.2 are now also posted on tumblr.

12 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

I am trying to find this post on tumblr. I know it exists, but I have only been able to see it and not glimpse it. Anyone know where I can “If I had a nickel” meme post with 2012 Leo, 2012 Karai, and Rise Casey/Cassandra in it?

(also, sorry if this picture is kind of blurry, this was the picture I could get, and it got even blurrier after I edited it).

12 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

Just a Post (Kind of a Rant) about TMNT Fandom(s) and (Certain) Crossovers (also just kind of me talking more generally about TMNT?)

Okay, so this post was inspired by some other posts and reblogs I have seen (and just my own experiences in the TMNT fandom so far, and reading/looking/watching/etc. TMNT crossovers, esp. Rise x 2012 ones, and/or Rise x Whatever Version(s)). So of those posts I was going to reblog and/or link here, but I literally can’t find them right now, so for now, I am not going to. I might still link some stuff in this post (might be those specific posts if I can find them again and/or it might be other posts and stuff), I might not, I might /link/reblog them at a later date instead.

Anyways, I am making this post, because I am a huge TMNT fan, and I LOVE both Rise and 2012 (and many other versions as well! Like IDW and 2003 just to name a couple); they are a couple of my favorites, and I just want to see both versions portrayed well, and to see good crossovers between the 2 (and/or other versions), where both series are respected, and not bashed, mischaracterized(and/or demonized, infantized(?), and/or made fun of/mocked) a lot, nerfed to hell (I am not necessarily against *some* “nerfing, but it has to be used well, in modicum, and/or in a way that makes sense. I also don’t like it when only one of the series/versions/etc. is nerfed, and not the other. Not the like either being nerfed, but if they were being both nerfed, I would be *a bit* more okay with it), or/& one and/or one(s) is put on a major pedestal (I do this with series and/or stuff too though, so once again I don’t necessarily have an issue with people doing this, my issue, is when another version is put down while doing this). And/or etc.

I have genuinely become sick of seeing this.

More under the cut/”Read More”, because this gets LONG, and (maybe even more) rant-y.

I love Rise, I really, really do. It might have taken me awhile to get into and really love it, as an older fan, who got into it through 2012 and the OG TMNT live action movies, and then got into other TMNT stuff later on, like 03, IDW, 2007, etc. (still getting into stuff like Mirage and 87 and other comics currently), because I found some of the changes--to be kind of weird. However, I have grown to really like it too, and I have also read and/or watched stuff that actually explained how some of the changes weren’t as major as I thought. For example, Raph and Leo, are still them at their core (like, I have seen about both of them about this, but the stuff I have seen about Rise Leo and 2012 Leo and/or previous versions were really eye-opening to me; esp. as a major Leo fan), despite the changes. They are still Raph and Leo. If that makes sense.

It is just, as I have seen some other people say (I will try to find these posts and/or whatever and link and/or reblog them) how they would be if one was given the role as the oldest (Raph), and such, had to calm down more, and the other was given a role of a younger sibling (specifically, a middle child) (Leo), and thus, was given the freedom he rarely got to have, and always wanted (for example, 2012 Leo defin. wanted it). It is still them, just placed in slightly different positions, and we are shown, how they/these characters would/might be like in these new(-ish) roles/positions. At their core though, they both still share many characteristics of their previous versions, but their new(-ish) roles causes some dynamic changes (Leo and Raph’s dynamic is still great, like most other version, but now there is a slight twist to it), and certain core traits/traits of these characters from previous versions are either more amplified and/or get explored more and/or shown in (sometimes) different ways, more tampered down, or something in-between.

So yeah; once I realized this and/or was helped to realize this (since I have always really loved Leo and Raph and their dynamic; love Donnie and Mikey too though and their dynamic with each other and Leo and/or Raph), I enjoyed Rise more, and now, like 2012, and some other versions; I also love a lot. It has also been fun to see new, but also paying homage and/or respect on other characters and relationships/dynamics! Like, I have always been interested in Leo and Donnie’s’ dynamic, and wish it was explored more, and Rise certainly delivered on that for example! And so on (might add more to this later).

*Cough cough*; got a little off-topic there kinda. But the main point I was trying to get at, while I was admittedly somewhat put off at first by all the changes as an older fan (and it didn’t help that Rise came out so quickly after 2012 ended. That might have caused some of the older fans to be sour towards it; esp. with some of the changes, because it might been a bit “too much/too many changes, too soon”. So that is one of the reasons that caused Rise to unfortunately not be as well-received as it could have been imo. Like, I love TMNT a lot; I always want more good TMNT stuff in my life, but I do think it might have been prudent and better for it if Rise released a bit later), and as a major Leo fan and etc., etc., I grew to love it very much too. And I do understand why Rise fans might have been upset or might still be upset at how some older TMNT fans treated Rise at first and/or still are; esp. with Rise’s uncertain status (here is to hoping for another season and/or movie); however, I do not think that means Rise fans (this is coming from a Rise fan as well, and I don’t mean all Rise fans when I say this ofc) should be doing the kind of stuff (negative stuff) they are doing to the previous versions that they are (esp. 2012 for some reason?). Like for example, crossover type things/stuff.

Like seriously; good thing someone like me, who is an older/longtime TMNT fan myself loves Rise so much, and is so not easily turned away from stuff I love and enjoy (I am basically ride or die with stuff I love most of the time), because the way 2012 and previous versions have been treated lately by some Rise fans and/or in the fandom(s) might drive me away from the fandom(s) and/or Rise. Like I said, that won’t happen; I love Rise, and love so much of the fandom, but at the same time, I am starting to get very much sick of how some of the Rise fandom is treating 2012 and/or previous versions.

Like, it has come the point that even stuff (fics and so on) that say they aren’t bashing 2012 (I am using 2012 here, because it is 2012 a lot) and/or that they love 2012 honestly seem quite bash-y to me anyway.

2012 will seem majorly mischaracterized (esp. Leo and Raph. But the others too also don’t escape this treatment), and some of the time and/or some of it is sometimes just growing pains; them getting used to writing the character better. And that is something most people can relate with, so I give more leeway with that.

Or maybe they just need to refresh their memory on the/a version, or research it more, or finish the version, or etc., and I can understand and give leeway to that; I don’t expect people and/or stuff to be perfect or anything, ofc. My issue is, if they don’t get better at them, or just get worse, or they seem to be making them (kinda) ;OOC, for bashing reasons.

Or nerfing reasons, or to put Rise on a pedestal, and basically be like: “Rise is the better family”, “2012 is abusive and/or terrible”, “Rise are more powerful”, “Rise are better fighters and more skilled”, “let’s undersell/downplay 2012 version and it’s main cast, cast of characters, heroes, villains, etc.”, “let’s not undersell/downplay the Rise version and it’s main cast, cast of characters, heroes, villains, etc. Sometimes lets even oversell/overplay them” (I know this and some other stuff I mentioned are more opinion-based and/or subjective, which I know, and is fine and I get that. We all have different opinions. In this case though, I mainly have a problem with it if is overdone, &/or if one side/version so obviously being favored so much over the other), “Rise has no issues, while 2012 does”, “Rise is better”, “2012 is worse”, etc. Which is just pretty maddening and annoying ngl.

2012 and other versions (and I am talking about the cast in general for both), have been through and faced so much, and they, like Rise, have both their strengths and weaknesses, and own things they can bring to the table in battle, as people, etc. But nope, lets just ignore all that, to put Rise on a pedestal and act like they would just stomp all versions in a fight, writing wise, character wise, etc. When that is just no true (imo). Don’t get me wrong, Rise is a great series; I want more of it, but other versions are also great. And I do not like the disrespect of the previous versions going on here, and the specific kind of pedestal-placing Rise is being put on.

Like seriously, do you know hard it has gotten to find good Rise x 2012 and/or Rise x Whatever Version type crossover content?

It has become so hard.

I just have to read/look at/watch/listen to/etc. crossovers and just hope, both versions are treated well and with respect, and it isn’t a bashing fic, most Mikey-centric 2012 x Rise fics and stuff (if ur a 2012 fan, u will know what I am talking about here), that there is little to no nerfing, that both/all versions get some spotlight and awesome moments, and/or etc.

Like, even some of the supposedly good crossovers that people like, where there are supposedly no bashing, and people are actually loving how 2012 are characterized and think they are “on-point”.

(Which, honestly, just kind of makes me scratch my head, because with some of these crossovers, I just don’t see it. Like, I have read some really good 2012/2012-centric stuff which actually had characterization that was point; not like some of these fics and/or crossover fics where people say they are. Heck, even in comparison to some other 2012 x Rise crossovers which I actually love, and either have no or very, very minor problems with, I would say the characterization of the 2012 crew is better in those. This is all just my opinion though; I know other people have their own personal opinions and interpretations. And I am not even calling those crossovers, fics, and/or etc., bad; I just personally find some issue with them).

I am just like, but 2012 is getting pretty mischaracterized (sometimes very mischaracterized) here though (and in turn, so is Rise sometimes. Because a lot of the time, I see mischaracterization of 2012 and/or another version, Rise also gets mischaracterized too. Which, as a Rise fan, 2012 fan, general TMNT fan, I ofc don’t like very much. I love when people are as in-character as they can be), and/or nerfed, and/or I am seeing a “let’s highlight 2012′s issues; even though some of those issues were resolved, because characters develop, or don’t exist really in the first place”, and/or either “barely highlight Rise’s issues, act like they have none, basically show them as having none, or show so much later, that it sometimes kind of feels like, too little, too late”

(I don’t have an issue with versions working through their issues and stuff and/or teaching other versions stuff, as long as it makes sense, and isn’t being done in unequal, unfair, (very) biased way. I find this kind of stuff very interesting when done well. So much potential for stuff. Or like, imagine, all the versions getting therapy, but like, it is done in an equal way between the versions, if that makes sense, idk),

and/or “I am kinda getting some vibes that remind of those Mikey-centric crossover stuff (I am not saying all of them, but God is it a lot of them)”, “and/or etc.”

So it just kind of confuses me some. But at the same time; I can understand (or at least somewhat) understand why people like and/or love them. And while I say it confuses me; I do think I get why some people may think that, or at least I try to.

Like, the crossovers I am talking about here aren’t those weird Mikey-centric, 2012 fam are abusive and awful, and/or type crossovers here. Like, as someone who is a fan and loves the 2012 version; I don’t get why people like them, but I do some people do, for whatever reason. However, at least with stuff like this and/or similar stuff and/or some crossovers bashing on 2012/previous versions, I know more what I am getting into I guess, or I know soon enough? There are some crossovers that take longer for that to happen; to show their “true colors” so to speak, and crossovers where I almost feel tricked? That is probably too harsh of a word, but idk a better way to explain it. Maybe a better way to describe it, is that I don’t know what I am getting into as much??

Like a crossover will literally say no bashing/no 2012 bashing, and/or that they love 2012 (though sometimes when they say these things, their other tags, descriptions, posts, etc., will say a different story imo, but I digress. Maybe they mean that; heck, they probably do, but from an outside POV, it doesn’t always feel that way), and/or just seems like it will be a good, non-bashing crossover, but then as you go on/get into it more, you realize that nevermind it is, or at least kind of is, and/or the issues are just piling up, so even if I might really want to enjoy it,

(like there is this one 2012 x Rise crossover fic that so many people seem to be enjoying; people have made so much fanart of it, memes, etc., and it is already really long, and it is looking to be super long; chapter and word wise once done, so I would be fed on a really long, interesting premise, 2012 x Rise crossover fic for a long time. But the problem is, due to some of the reasons I listed in this post; I just can’t enjoy it. I really want to; I really do, but I am having so much trouble doing so, and that makes me sad. And that happens to other crossovers too. Other ones that have so much promise and potential, and/or say there isn’t any bashing and that they 2012 too (and/or that other version. So they love both Rise and 2012 and/or that other version)

and/or so many people seem to love it; even 2012 and/or previous versions fans and/or ones that don’t hate 2012 and/or previous versions, so I also really want to enjoy and love it. Sometimes, maybe even a lot of the time, there is stuff I do really like/love about it, but in the end the stuff that makes it unenjoyable usually gets to be too much (not always though), and I have to stop. Sometimes it takes longer though to happen, or shorter, or maybe, hopefully it doesn’t happen at all, and it gets genuinely better and even more enjoyable. But a fair amount of times, that last thing doesn’t end happening to me (at least not for me), and that makes me sad.

I just want more good (great even!) 2012 x Rise crossovers (I love these crossovers so much; when I can actually find an amazing one) and/or Rise x TMNT Version, or maybe even more than 2 versions crossover with Rise; is that too much ask!?

(Here is to hoping that the crossovers and/or 2012 x Rise crossovers that I do actually love, don’t go the way of some current crossovers that I don’t like very much and/or am starting to dislike, are going. And/or future crossovers also don’t do the kind of stuff I mentioned I disliked here as well, and are just, great instead, lol. Seriously though, there are some crossover(s) worry might start to become like I mentioned; esp., as of right now at least, the nerfing issue(s), for example(s).)

See the full post

13 notes - Posted December 19, 2022

𝕰𝖚𝖕𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖆: A (Mostly) Canon Compliment then Canon Divergence HxH Killugon Long One-Shot

This is my Hunter x Hunter Killugon gift/gift fic for my Valentine for the @killugonvalentines event! I know it is just barely 14th (at least for some people), but I am posting it now; just in case I don’t have time later. My Valentine was @ash1875! (I seem to be having a bit of trouble tagging my Valentine, so I am not sure if my tag of them will work). I hope they and anyone else who may read my fic enjoys it! There is 6k+ words, so a fair amount to read.

Will probably be posting a AO3 version soon too, if you prefer to read there. And when I say soon, I mean way sooner than the other fics I have said that for (which I haven’t posted, for the most part, on AO3 yet), because the format of this fic makes it easier to more quickly post on AO3. Alright, I am done rambling, let’s get to the fic. There will be a preview of it, then I will put the rest under a “read more” cut.

(---)(---)(---)(---)(---)(---)(---)(---)

Killua had just departed with Gon at the World Tree, Alluka in-hand, when he finally let his feelings overflow. Not on purpose, mind you, and if you were to ask Killua if he was upset about something, he would say he is fine, and that nothing was wrong. But Killua, despite his tough show and teasing in front of Gon, felt like his soul was torn in two at separating with Gon. So tears did flow and flow for a good awhile after Gon had left; it was quiet, and Killua kept his face away from Alluka to not show her how actually upset he was that Gon wasn’t there with him anymore (Alluka was perceptive though, and knew something was up.).

After crying for awhile, standing still in place at the bottom of the world tree, every so often looking up, as if Killua could somehow see Gon all the way at the top of the tree, he finally wiped them away, closed his eyes for awhile, and the re-opened them, his eyes looking like he had never cried at all, and started to turn to walk away. Sadness, but determination in his eyes.

“Come on, Alluka, it is time to go.” Killua said to Alluka.

Alluka looked up at Killua, words on her tongue to say about Killua’s unvoiced feelings and the unspoken words she could feel were there besides the words Killua just said. Alluka felt the words being said applied to more than just what was being said literally. Alluka truly wanted to say something to Killua, but decided (for now) to keep her mouth shut about it. Thinking maybe it wasn’t the best time. She was also patient after all, and she had all the time in the world to ask her Nii-chan about it. Because Alluka for sure, wouldn’t let all this pass. She was for sure going to ask about all this. …To ask about Gon. She just–wouldn’t right now.

“Ok Nii-chan! Coming!” Replied cheerily.

Alluka then started walking properly with Killua and stopped dragging her feet.

They then walked in silence for awhile until they reached their airship they would travel the world together in.

Once they seated themselves and before they took off, he got a message on his phone from Palm, saying to check out a link in their email which linked to a live feed of something they might be interested in seeing.

So Killua got out his tablet after reading the message, and looked for this email. He found it, opened it, and clicked on the link. And to his surprise, he saw Gon…who appeared to be talking to his father. Killua wondered for a second how this feed was being shown, but then shook his head at that thought. After that dragonfly Chimera Ant’s powers, and so many things he has seen and experienced; even before he took his first Hunter Exam, someone– or something getting this feed isn’t really a surprise. He still thought to ask Palm where she got the link though; just for curiosity’s sake.

…To be honest though, the main reason why he didn’t care that much how he was able to see this feed of Gon, was, well, because he was able to see Gon again, so full of life, and so happy talking to his father (though, seeing Gon so happy, without him there, talking to Ging also stung some) in probably the clearest definition he was going to see Gon in awhile. Be that in-person (of course)..or not. So to Killua, beggars couldn’t really be choosers; he was happy with what he was able to get.

Killua lost in thought, got shook out of it by Alluka who had come over from somewhere else in the airship with some snacks and drinks for their flight–wherever they were going (not even they knew where. They were currently traveling over some beautiful crystal-like formations growing on the surface. But that’s the thing, they were just traveling, with no real destinations in mind, neither of the siblings really knew where they wanted to go, at least not truly. They both hoped someday they would).

“AH! Nii-chan, is that Gon there? Those tablet things are so cool. I saw you constantly on one in the car leaving–that place. What is Gon doing anyway? ...Oh. He looks to be on top of the world tree. Hmmmm..???”, questioned Alluka.

“Yes, that is Gon. And yes he is still on top of the world tree. This video feed appears live somehow. Do you want to watch it with me?”, answered Killua.

“Of course I do!” Alluka gleefully shouted; clapping her hands.

She scooted over super close to Killua and leaned over to peer at the tabet in Killua’s hands.

Killua leaned in too, getting closer to his sister, and making it easier for both of them to view the screen on the tablet. (They were lucky Killua could multitask while flying, and that there were some things that can make the flight basically auto).

And for awhile, they just sat there, happily watching tablet, happily watching Gon (and Ging, but who cares about him, when Gon was right there), who was happy too.

At that moment, they felt like they were the only people in the world.

And they were happy.

But if they were happy, if Killua was happy, why did Killua’s heart hurt so much?

(---)(---)(---)(---)(---)(---)(---)(---)

Gon had just finished his talk with Ging and was climbing down the giant tree. It was now dark, and so the climb down was more dangerous than his climb up, but he had been through worse, nen or no nen. He could have slept up there until the morning, but—he had his talk Ging, and now he wanted to move on, move forward as quickly as possible. So even just waiting until morning was too much. Gon wanted to move forward from Ging (from Killua too?); he just felt like he had to.

Gon had made it down from the tree, and was walking on the streets trying to find a hotel or something to stay the night in (if he had to, he could just sleep somewhere outside though), when he ran into Palm.

“Ommpphhh! Nenene, oh, is that you Palm, what you doing out here so late?”

“Hm, well, I was just out for a walk, it is a beautiful night out and all.”

Gon didn’t really believe Palm’s reasons, but decided not to press it. She probably had her reasons for lying, if she was. And she had no reason to lie maliciously to him too.

See the full post

13 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Anyone Know the Name of this YouTube Creator. They create a lot of Undertale/UTMV AMVs

And also what is going on w/ their channel in general. Because like, I kind of know the name of some videos, but they don’t seem to be showing up in search at all, and I am pretty sure I am subbed to them, but they aren’t showing up in subscriptions I am pretty sure. I am thinking something probably happen to their channel, hope they come back, and their videos.

Saying that, I am still trying to remember this YouTube Creator’s name. If anyone knows the full name of a YouTuber that made videos like (these aren’t the exact names, but they should be close enough) “Underverse amv Chris Classic” or “Undervese Classic” or something like that Undertale AMV (or something like that) Violent New Breed (this was one of my fav. AMVs. Had a lot of VIllain Sans Squad animation stuff, esp. from Ep5 Part 1 in it, “Underverse Adam Jensen The Hunter amv” or “Underverse Jensen The Hunter amv” or “Underverse The Hunter AMV” (another fav. of mine) to name some of them. They did a lot of Undertale, Undertale animations, Underverse, XTale, Glitchtale, Villain Sans Squad, Etc. AMVs, and I really liked them.

Their YT name was like shark something, Idk, I am not sure it started with a S though, and they had a Sans with Headphones pfp I am pretty sure. Even if something did happen to their channel (which I hope that isn’t the case, and if it is, I hope it/they come back), I would still love the actual full name of this YouTube creator. If anyone does know it, please just me in this post.

God, why do I keep doing this to myself? Drive myself insane trying to find something/stuff. *Shakes my head*.

16 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #chatxkilluaxnoir #finally did this with just one more day until it is 2023!#lmao

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the-matte-blvck · 1 year

Text

come back home.

chapter i.

type: series

pairing: jiimin x yoongi

genre: angst, drama, romance, action

⚠️ tw: abuse (mental/emotional), homophobia, ...

⚠️ this story is still developing, so many trigger warnings may not be considered until future chapters. there's a lot that will be written about; please message me before reading to ask about specific warnings. all warnings in each current chapter will be stated. I'm not too familiar with trigger warnings, so please message me respectfully, and I will gladly add them and apologize ⚠️

word count: 3023 words

summary: a smart, goody-two-shoes momma's boy is sick and tired of being treated like a child and runs away from home, right into extremely dangerous gang territory. With a gun pointed at his head, all he could think was how hot someone could look when they are threatening to kill you.

a/n: i've had this story sitting in my drive for awhile waiting to see the light of day again. if you think you've read it before, i have revamped and rewrote a lot of it so please take a chance on me once more.

» i take requests for just $1 for published oneshots, and $2 for personal oneshots. message me for details, conditions may apply «

The feeling of isolation has been present for some time now. Everyone close to Park Jimin disowned him, and the only people who could have helped him from his despair disappeared before the fallout of being outed to an unsupportive family.

Every day he feels a mixture of anger and self-loathing, wondering why his life had to turn out this way. He used to have many panic attacks and manic episodes; after a while, they grew farther apart until they disappeared. He had grown numb in his solitude, waiting for the day he could escape.

“Please, Taehyung,” Jimin pleaded, curling up onto his bay window with his phone loosely held up to his ear and cheek. “You have to come and visit soon…I miss you like crazy.”

“I will get the time off work as soon as I can. And then we can spend time together just like we used to, I promise.” His best friend replied, his tone conveying positivity to uplift the younger’s spirits.

“You are always working, Hyung. You barely have enough time to call me anymore.”

Jimin’s best friend, Kim Taehyung, had moved away almost a year ago across the country. He relayed to the younger that he was forced to work at one of his father's hotels after graduation. But Mister Kim pulled him out of school before the ceremony. So Jimin was left to spend his last year of schooling alone because other kids and adults publicly shamed him for his homosexuality.

He has always planned to move to America with Taehyung. The intention was to attend the same college and dorm together. Jimin knew they would be happy together, as friends or even more, if Taehyung allowed it. The younger knew Taehyung was the reason he was sexually attracted to men. After all, he was the one that introduced Jimin to the idea of same-sex couples.

Jimin’s mother was super religious, and things got worse after her husband died, Jimin’s father. The relationship was strained after the tragedy; she never understood her son like her husband could. They were always so close, and it was the end of the world when he passed. She had to learn to properly take care of her son for the first time since he was an infant.

“I know, I know…I’m sorry, Jiminnie,” Taehyung sounded sincere in his apology. “This job is demanding and worsens the longer I’m here.”

“Why? Isn’t your uncle that hotel’s manager? Can’t he cut you a bit of slack?”

“It’s not that simple. There’s too much on the line. So many…”

“Why did you say it like that?”

Jimin straightened up his body as he tried to focus. Background noise started to grow louder. He could hear men talking and then shouting. It got even louder, he had to take his phone away from his ear, and even then, he could still hear them. They sounded like the voices of all older people, and Taehyung began to yell in turn. When Jimin brought the phone back to his ear to listen in curiosity, Taehyung was frantic and trying to end the call immediately.

“I’m sorry, Jiminnie, something has come up, and it’s an emergency. I-I’ll call you back as soon as I can this week.”

The phone line went dead, and the feeling of loneliness quickly returned. Tears streamed down his face as he stared at his phone. Jimin missed his best friend tremendously; he was the only person there for him after his father died. He was the only one left he felt understood him. The younger had longed to see Taehyung. He was happiest most when they were together.

He tossed his phone onto his bed and brought his legs up onto the window sill. He rested his head on his knees and closed his eyes, quietly sobbing. The conversation ended awkwardly and abruptly in every phone call. He felt like he was drifting away from his friend faster than he could process this.

He looked out the window into the backyard of what used to be the Kim Family house. An older woman was outside fixing her garden after the winter ruined the greenery. The sky was a beautiful blue filled with fluffy white clouds. The clouds brought infinite images of beauty, and the trees budded with new leaves fresh for spring.

Jimin wasn’t allowed outside anymore. His mother had grown overprotective in that she didn’t want people to be reminded of who her son was. She pulled him out of school to finish high school from home. She does all the grocery shopping alone, and if Jimin ever needed anything, he had to make a list or get permission to make online purchases.

Maybe the seventeen-year-old wouldn't feel so lonely if his mother hadn't captivated him inside his own house. But instead, after he came out and told his mother about his sexual preferences, she was even more strict about what her son could do. It started after his father died and worsened once Jimin announced he was gay.

Jimin hated how his mother treated him now, knowing he was "different”. However, he was still the same, just with a new-found fascination with men. However, she didn't see it this way and made a huge deal about it. There was endless arguing about how it was only a phase and how Jimin was only confused. But no matter how often he denied these accusations, she didn't want to listen to him. He lied and told her he was bisexual to try and gain some of her respect, but it didn’t work as well as he had hoped. She now considers her son “only half broken” and tries to sway Jimin to like women, so he’s “not on the fence anymore.” She thought her son still had hope of being "normal" again. He knows all she wants is for him to find the perfect girl to marry and have children with, but he knows this is impossible from the bottom of his heart. Jimin felt comfortable talking to Taehyung about this stuff because he always knew he would listen. And now? Now he's trying to understand why they keep contact with each other if he's going to be abandoned. It's become even clearer recently that the elder was always too busy to continue a conversation. As much as Jimin hated to think he was boring his best friend, it was times like this when he felt outcasted and mistreated and needed Taehyung's support the most. But he never stayed to listen. Jimin didn't want to sound clingy towards Taehyung, so he didn't complain all that often aloud. Unlike himself, his friend had a life he needed to maintain. He understood the elder had more important things that were a higher priority than him. He wouldn't have a problem with this if he didn't make everything sound like a lie. Thoughts rolled in and out of his mind. He wanted to talk to someone. Someone other than his mother or Taehyung. Someone who he feels will listen and not pretend to make him happy. Someone who will be able to accept him for who he is as a person and not what their expectations were. But where would he find such a person if his mother controlled his life?

Jimin heard a door slam shut outside; when he looked out, he saw his mother’s small green sedan had pulled into the driveway. He jumped up from the window sill and panicked slightly. He made the room look like he had been working on schoolwork the entire time. He staged notebooks, pens, and sticky notes across his bed after he messily made it first. The old dinosaur of a laptop he was given for school purposes was in his hands as he crossed his legs and placed them in his lap.

Footsteps eventually made their way up the stairs. The louder they got, the deeper Jimin’s stomach sunk. He was afraid of getting shouted at and degraded. He closed his eyes tight and said a little prayer under his breath.

Miss Park called out for her son before knocking and opening the door to the bedroom.

“What?”

"Is that how you talk to me?" She snapped at him, causing her son to straighten himself up awkwardly. He apologized and answered her correctly. "I thought I said I wanted this laundry folded by the time I got back." Instead, she dropped a basket full of clean clothes onto his bed, crushing all his stuff. "What is this still doing in the laundry room?" "But mom, you said after I finished my homework-" Jimin's mother walked out the door, leaving him mid-sentence. He sighed and bit back his tongue. He was not in any mood to fight back. No, not today. After he put the basket onto his floor, he gathered enough courage to follow her out of the room.

The two of them made their way into the kitchen, she had left the few bags from the market on the counter, and Jimin rushed passed his mother to put them away. His mother walked deeper into the kitchen and towards the sink. She let out a heavy breath and hummed aggressively. Jimin knew she was about to complain about something else.

"And these dishes aren't done either." She said, slamming her hand on the counter. "You mean to tell me you were upstairs this entire time doing schoolwork?"

“It’s just a plate and fork,” The seventeen-year-old stated questioningly, wondering if his mother was crazy. “I was going to wait until after dinner to put all the dishes in the dishwasher.”

She disappointedly shook her head and began unloading the market onto the counter and throwing the plastic bags all over the floor. Jimin was frantically trying to pick them up and run around the kitchen putting things away before she started complaining again. He attempted to think of a way to change the subject, but he didn't know what to say.

“I…uh…I got a call from Taehyung today,” He started cautiously, side-eyeing his mother as he walked by. “I-it was a quick call…as I…had to hang up to finish school work.”

She became idle as she turned slowly to turn toward her son. The woman scrutinized Jimin with the intense stare of a stranger who had no regard for trying to mask their unfriendliness or judgment. Miss Park added her son’s words to the metaphorical algorithm she created to criticize him and form opinions.

"You're always on that damn phone." Miss Park complained. "Why don't you get off your dang electronics and do something for once?" "So…should I take this as my permission to go out?" "No." She sternly replied without skipping a beat. “Why don’t you start by doing that laundry I told you to do hours ago?”

Jimin sighed and rolled his eyes. He was annoyed by the way his mother was treating him. It was always like this; her snippy attitude undermined his every word and action. It would be best if you did what she tells you; it's her way or no way, and if you don’t like it, you might as well leave.

“Yes, ma'am,” Jimin huffed in response and sulked his way out of the kitchen.

Jimin was glad she didn’t mention that a boy had called. It must’ve been because she knew Taehyung and his family. And his best friend was also still in the closet before he left. Miss Park doesn’t know that Taehyung is bisexual. She doesn’t know it's his fault Jimin is attracted to men.

He mentioned turning Jimin into his secret “occasional sex partner” before he left. The elder attempted to teach him some things and did him a favor in providing experiences and a good time. However, they only got so far into their relationship before Mister Kim took his first real crush away. Jimin’s stomach started to flutter, and his face began to redden.

Taehyung doesn’t talk about it anymore, so he tries not to think about it often.

“And make sure you finish that reading I assigned to you. I’m quizzing you first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Mmhmm, you got it,” Jimin replied, slowly returning to Earth.

When he was out of sight, Jimin booked it up the stairs. He couldn’t wait to get away from all the negative energy that stained the kitchen. Plus, he didn’t want it to clash with the sudden intrusive thoughts about Taehyung. It wasn’t worth having his mother ruin a fond memory for him with her hostility and pessimism.

The young boy shuffled his way toward his room, not looking forward to having to fold his clothes. If it were up to him, he would throw them into the drawers haphazardly, but then they would be too wrinkled, and his mother would be even more upset with him. But, on the other hand, he didn’t know why it wasn’t like anyone would ever see him and his apparel anyways.

Jimin sat on his messy bed, proceeding to do his chore. He knew that it should’ve been done about an hour ago or so, but when you have more important things to worry about, the annoying chores can and will slip your mind. He tried to ignore the fact that his mother was harsh towards him. Everyone knew she makes and puts on the most significant shows about minor things. The best thing he could do now was to go along with it. He was still living under his mother's roof, therefore having to follow her word. Even if he didn't agree with her or her rules, he still had to respect his mother. No matter how close she drives her son toward the brink of insanity.

He wishes they would finally see eye to eye about everything happening. Or at least respect each other's feelings, choices, or preferences. Jimin admits that he doesn’t understand his mother’s “religious nut” side or that she never seemed to take his father's death as hard as he did. But his judgment upon her was far less extreme than hers was towards him. Folding the clothes calmly, Jimin hummed a song as he worked. He began to think about what life would've been like if his father had still been around. Would he have let his son go out and explore the world? Would he be so hard on Jimin as his mother was when he came out? Instead, he was a fantastic man, quite the opposite personality compared to Miss Park. He was so cheerful, caring, and very friendly. He could talk about anything and everything for hours, never refused to help, and always encouraged an optimistic lifestyle.

Maybe that's why Jimin stayed for so long. Perhaps he believes that there's hope that his mother will come around eventually. He hopes his mother realizes that the relationship she could have with her one and only son isn’t worth losing over her religious beliefs and blatant homophobia.

Just as he finished folding that last article of clothing, Jimin grabbed his phone from under his pillow and leaned back onto the bed. He mindlessly scrolled his way through the social media accounts his mother doesn’t know he had. He never posted photos of himself or his life anyways, as he was too self-conscious to put himself out there due to his mother’s constant demeaning comments toward him.

His feed and timeline consisted of positive quotes and pictures of animals, delicious-looking foods, and famous people. Nothing that exciting, but it helps him get through his rough days. Jimin’s finger, though, brought him to Taehyung’s profile. He hasn’t posted in a while, though, hasn’t even shown him as active online, either.

While not even thinking, Jimin was now finding himself about to leave a message to his friend. “Hey, I would like to talk to you again soon!” he wrote. He couldn’t even fathom why he wrote it or why he was about to consider sending it. It wasn’t like Taehyung would read it, and he would only call when available. Which, according to past experiences, could take weeks.

Jimin’s bubble popped when he heard his mother yelling for him from downstairs. He carefully got up from his bed so as not to knock down the piles of clothes he had just a moment ago messily folded. Then, with the door opened, he shouted back toward her.

“Yes, mom?”

“Make sure you take a bath before dinner." The mother yells from the kitchen. "We have company coming over, so please dress nicely as well." Company? Who in their right mind would want to come here? Jimin was curious and hurriedly made his way down the steps, planning to head into the kitchen to question his mother. The last guests visiting them were when the Kims still lived next door. Almost a year without anyone over; why the sudden change of heart?

It was very puzzling indeed, and Jimin wanted to find out why.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. Can you repeat that? "I invited a friend from the church over for dinner. Please get ready and make yourself look presentable." His mother continued to keep her attention on the dinner she was preparing, not even once glancing at her son. "Then why do I have to get dressed if it's your guest? Can't I eat in my room?" Jimin whined, hoping that maybe one time he could get his way. "Stop being rude." She demanded. "I promise it won't be as bad as you might think."

Jimin let out a huff louder than he had intended; he knew this was not true. His mother turned toward him and shot him angry daggers. Her eyes shouted, “you ungrateful brat,” and Jimin knew that was his cue to leave.

Dysfunctional families can be made functional. Jimin has always held onto hope that this was true. Maybe he left room for his mother to self-reflect and improve and realize there had to be adjustments in this household to heal. Her allowing people into the house was a step forward. At least, that's how Jimin sees it.

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