#playing dai on hard mode running around the hinterlands and dying

[andtheotherstars]

Long-ass Bloc O’ Text below the keep reading. 

TL;DR: I felt bad because I cheated in Dragon Age and had to invent a headcanon for it to make me feel better.

Spoilers for Hinterlands, Storm Coast (DA:I), The Urn of Sacred Ashes, and A Paragon Of Her Kind (DAO).

I’m currently playing Origins and Inquisition simultaneously. Origins on my laptop and Inquisition on my boyfriend’s PlayStation, both on the easiest mode possible because I play videogames for the story and not really for tactics and fighting and so on. I don’t know if it’s because of the game itself or because I didn’t manage to skill my characters properly.  I have 40 hours in Inquisition and it happened once that my whole party died. That was when we met that Frostback bitch in the Hinterlands. She flew past me and I thought she’d fly away again ‘cause all the dragons I’d seen so far were--whatever--fighting a giant and I could watch them from a safe distance. (That’s Storm Coast in case you’ve missed it. You can fight the giant afterwards.) Anyway, it went from, “Ooh, nice, another dragon. Let’s stop picking herbs and watch it for a while. Aaah! Oooh! Gorgeous!” to “AAAH! DRAGON! BACKTRACK! BACKTRACK!” in a matter of seconds. But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about.

Okay, so that was the only time my whole party died in Inquisiton. But Origins ... I’m telling you. I’m literally facepalming right now. I die all the time! Hell yeah, the combat in Inquisition is way better than in Origins--I can’t tell you how often my Warden has smashed his daggers into thin air because I didn’t manage to properly click the enemy. I might be such a noob because I’m generally new to videogames and/or because I never ever played a melee before. I was always a ranged attacker kinda guy, and still am. (Mages FTW!) And I realised long ago that my party isn’t really the best combination. No mage. Alistair and I are both tanks. Zevran should be the damage dealer but he’s such a loser, he dies all the time. And usually Dog. (Don’t know what he is. Tank?) 

It worked perfectly fine like that. Until the Deep Roads. The goddamned Deep Roads, gods, how I hate them! More than the Raw Fade. (Unpopular opinion: I actually like the Raw Fade.) The first time I died several times in a row was against Carta. After that I seriously considered taking Wynne with me--but no. I wanted my best bro Alistair and my boyfriend Zevran with me. I took Oghren to the Deep Roads instead of Dog, because it’s sort of a personal quest for him. I didn’t know how many times I’d died so far, and this dreadful thought was at the back of my mind. What if I have to fight Branka in the end?

Well, never mind Branka! I DIED ABOUT TWENTY TIMES TRYING TO BEAT THAT MOTHERFUCKING BROODMOTHER! I actually stopped playing Origins for weeks because I was so frustrated. And I didn’t want to walk all the way back and change my party, then walk all the way through the Deep Roads again. (I probably would’ve got lost and it would’ve taken twice as long to get back to that Broodmother.) Okay. So I took my laptop to my boyfriend’s so he could try to beat that bitch for me. (He’s a videogame pro.) Of course, the first thing he notices is that my party just sucks. I know. I know! But I love them! Okay? Okay. He died three times trying to kill the Broodmother. (Took him one round to get to know the controls and skills.) At least he’d managed to take two thirds of her HP. I only ever managed half. Anyway. That’s when he said the magic word: God mode.

“Why don’t you cheat a god mode?” I heard my alarm bells ring and an angelic choir sing Hallelujah at the same time. “You want me to cheat?!” I didn’t even cheat at class tests. Ever! Frankly, I cheated a lot playing Age of Mythology (O Canada!) but I was young and reckless. I felt a bit torn. I could cheat a party change, but I’d have to change it in the long run and I didn’t want to. I could cheat health poultices, but, nah, too complicated. I could cheat instant kill for every enemy around, but, nah, I like the fighting a little bit after all. I knew I’d have to kill an Archdemon sooner or later and I’d never manage if I couldn’t even kill that stupid Broodmother. But I felt like I’d abuse my characters’ trust. Poor Darrian, he’ll be so confused, I thought. But then again, it just wasn’t fun anymore dying all the time--and not only that. I mean, I couldn’t continue with the game as long as I couldn’t get past that enemy. And I knew it’d get worse. I knew that when I died five times trying to kill the Carta boss. I just didn’t know it’d be so soon and so frustrating. So I did cheat god mode.

I felt so bad. I know, it’s so ridiculous, it’s just a game after all. But anyone who is passionate about DA probably knows what I mean. It’s not just a game. So I immediately had that headcanon of the characters trying to figure out what in the Maker’s name happened.

Darrian stands in front of the Broodmother’s corpse. Blood splattered all over his armour. His daggers slip out of his hand. He rushes to give his companions a healing poultice, then lets himself slump to his knees with exhaustion while they wake up.

ALISTAIR: Darrian! Darrian! Maker’s-- ZEVRAN (gently takes Darrian’s face into his hands): For a moment there I thought that’s it.

Of course Zevran kisses Darrian. He’s so hard in love with him although he denies it. Alistair probably pulls a face now and contemplates wether this thing between Darrian and Zevran is something serious after all.

Darrian looks at his hands. He can’t quite believe that he got out of this without losing a limb, or quite frankly ... dying.

ALISTAIR: The last thing I saw before I passed out was how that--that thing grabbed you and shook you, and I--I thought I’d wake up and you’re-- DARRIAN (still looking at his hands): Yeah ... I thought that, too. ZEVRAN: Then how did you-- DARRIAN: I don’t know. (He shakes his head.) I don’t know what happened. OGHREN: Well, I’d say congratulations on that major adrenaline rush that made you single-handedly kill that-- (He gestures towards the corpse.) DARRIAN: No. No, you don’t understand. (He gestures, too. For the first time since he can remember, he’s lost for words.) I--it should’ve killed me. It literally broke my neck--

Everyone dashes forward to make sure Darrian’s neck is alright and he raises his arms in a defensive gesture.

DARRIAN: I’m alright, guys, I’m fine!

He gets up with a groan, picks up his daggers, and slides them into their sheaths.

ALISTAIR: You’re not alright. DARRIAN (sighs, then snaps): Okay. I’m not alright. Is that what you want to hear, Alistair? I don’t know what happened. I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t see anything, I just know that I should’ve died when I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I love being alive. It’s just--argh! 

Darrian hates it when he doesn’t understand something. This frustrates him just as much as those twenty unsuccessful attempts at killing that Broodmother frustrated me. He doesn’t want to think about it any further. They need to find Branka, and quick, before they get to the surface with their new dwarf allies and find all their other allies have been killed by darkspawn.

DARRIAN: Let’s just go. ZEVRAN (looks at Alistair): What he means is, ‘I’m sorry I yelled at you, Alistair, my dearest, bestest friend.’

Alistair says nothing. He knows that, so he smiles. 

They catch up with Darrian. Zevran brushes his fingertips along Darrian’s palm so subtle no one except them notices.

ZEVRAN (murmurs): We’ll find out what happened. DARRIAN (smiles ever so slightly and mouthes): Thanks. ZEVRAN: (still murmurs, but with mock-drama): And if not, maybe you were blessed by the great and glorious Andraste.

Darrian grins and shoves his elbow into Zevran’s side. Of course it was a joke, but maybe--just maybe-- A spark of hope leaps up inside of Darrian. He never believed in any gods or anything. Neither Elven nor human. (He’s a City Elf. But you knew that already if you ever played one.) Then again, only a few days ago, he couldn’t bring himself to pour the blood into Andraste’s supposed ashes.

Seriously. I wanted to be a Reaver so badly but when it came to the point where I had to pour the blood into the ashes, I couldn’t. I. Just. Couldn’t.  And, holy shit, while writing this just now, I realised I could headcanon a whole subplot. (I’m so gonna do that.)

#dragon age #parrish