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chezzabellesworld · 2 months
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Heroin addiction hello,
this is me my name is heroin, I am more expensive than gold, but you will pay more for me. I’m like a diamond you want me you you wanna wear me you wanna wear me all over your body you wanna be me you wanna be inside my body, you want me to take the pain away like a hug like a hug used to do like a kiss like being in love used to, my name is Cherry and I’m a heroin addict I’m not some 12 stepper I kind of wish I was so I kind of wish I didn’t get the vibe that it was a cult , but maybe it is but who said all Colts are bad well this person right here was see. I’m also autistic I have a strong time of the past, I’ll tell you what this addiction has taken everything away from me. Let’s go back and let’s go back to 10 years ago. Roughly let’s go to the 3rd of December 2012 when I met this man who to this day, I can’t get out of my head see this man🕰️ introduced me to this awful awful thing, but at the same time he kept me away distance control. Yes I get it on the first night I met this man me off my feet. I was telling him about my situation ship and he was very compassionate. He was very understanding and it sort of Started there and went on the next five years, I was hooked line and sinker .
So the first night I met this man he was with my friend I met with, and I can still tell you everything about it that night it had to be one of the best nights of my life as I sit here now with tears in my eyes, five years later, I remembering things when I write, I wanted to be writer when I write I want to I remember And I started my life story again I’ve been with him for awhile see you inspired me be a bad person being with me and made me wanna be better and we had this little secret but let’s go back to the question because I’m very good at track no drugs happened it was just drinking Maybe smoking weed because I did back then but I was just talking it was like talking to someone I’d know my whole life and when you’re autistic this doesn’t happen often I hadn’t been diagnosed then but he had both bonded over the fact that we both had personality disorders and that we didn’t fit into society boxes, but now as I see it, I see it. I do but This man had a complete control over me. He had literally just had a baby with somebody who he’d been with for 10 years. He told me it was over, but yet they just had a baby a month prior premature, I didn’t want to take this woman’s man I didn’t want to take away this father, so I said don’t chase me, so on the days that he saw his child up at the hospital still, he would come back really quickly like he hadn’t even been there at all. I know that he had a premature baby. Yes I do I don’t know the whole truth of it I never will Until years though, when I spoke to his ex and I still don’t know the whole truth and why the fuck should she have to tell me anyway but all night he painted her is a villain same as I did with my ex yes as a personality disorder, everyone else is a bad guy You never the bad guy until it all comes tumbling down and you hate yourself and you wanna cut yourself or burn yourself so I trigger on this post but I have to say this I have to be honest with myself I must’ve liked it the fact that my family my family was born into because I don’t have kids that’s another sad part of this story is, I can’t Maybe it’s sick but there you go. They treat this man as an outcast just as much as I treated me as an outcast. I feel he wasn’t allowed to my sisters birthday party even though my sister was married to a literal word rapist still in prison for it now, and all the other sick things he did And my ex or right through this, of course I’ve noticed can also see crazy people who are crazy can always see crazy and others. Neurotypical are very selfish people. The first time I met him. He didn’t use her when he told me about it. apparently he told me about it and anyway I told him not to choose me over his child. Anyway he did we were texting all the time I was texting him. He was writing me love i never had this in my entire life. He literally swept me off my feet and the good thing that happened at the beginning of our relationship was that I went away for a week two days after we met Which made me want him more and vice versa now he probably did stuff I’ve heard he might of he’s married now to this girl. He slagged off for years and shagged. The sister who is 17 when we were together together what we broke up we didn’t properly broke up, but we broke up This is where the comes in we’re living in accommodated living for people who are not very well addicts mentally ill and so on. Anyway, many of the nights I would sneak into his room through the window or he sneak into mine and would lie bad faith, even if there was cameras. Oh he hasn’t asked your random stuff like this and I’ll be like it has. I’ve gone to bed, and obviously it was the most exciting time of my life. I was 23 years 22 years old and absolutely in love. Yes I know they got married at the age of 17 but it wasn’t part. Of course it was in my res autistic and everything was always more dramatic. The next time I’m bigger and better also I thought crazy so we end up getting kicked out of this facility I live there for a year I hadn’t really stayed there. I’d stayed in my mum, still even though she di
So things got out of hand that I’ve got made homeless I’m looking back now I thought it was so unfair and at the time I thought it was unfair. People who got made homeless shouldn’t have got made home as really people who this is all they had and the man I’m with now With living in the shed house with my ex there is four of the houses two of them staffed two of them not! so my partner was in a house without staff and then got put into the room next to me in the staff house which I was in me and my partner and I said maybe it was a distraction from my ex and his past, I will never know the full extent of.
So heroin heroin you ask how did it come into it well slowly that’s what I’ll say slowly he came back one day in a really really bad mood. This is before we got kicked out and started smoking on the bed. I’ve never been a situation I’ve been around hard before and it made me very uncomfortable, especially because I hadn’t touched them so I felt embarrassed and obliged this time I didn’t. I felt safe I felt safe with him. I just did so here it goes we move out and by this point before I go with him I will say I was addicted to sleeping pills on and off and opiates pill, but only pills so I sort of being there, but I wasn’t in the world of dealers drug addicts, horrible people debt, losing friends, and emotionally and because of the addiction. No nothing was that bad yet was destined for this maybe probably who knows I don’t I don’t even know so I will never forget the day I did it because it made life, so like it made sense for the first time in my life. It just made sense everything fit into place. Everything was like this is what it’s meant to be and this is how I should feel it wasn’t overwhelming how I thought it was meant to be, and this is how it traps you guys so don’t do it, it just felt like I had found the key to a door that had been locked 22 years and I had found that key. Obviously not a drug use. very narcissistic you really don’t think it’s gonna be you you just don’t you don’t think it’s going to be you in 1 million years even when you told me all these things via my ex when he told me this is what it’s like. I’m depressed now I can’t feel without it sex drive it fuck it fuck the way you connect with people you lose that connection and when you’re autistic anyway that is hard to have by the beginning it makes that all possible it makes you have emotion it makes you connect it makes you feel like you are invincible, and I always thought the word heroine became from the hero within, it kind of makes sense, wouldn’t it.
So the first time I used it, I smoked it we were living in one of his friends house in the spare bedroom that was freezing cold and the guy was addicted to it. The wife wasn’t they had two children. They had three children but the two children were in the room next to the dad, who is addicted really bad day and ill And this was the first place I used it they thought I was just normal. They didn’t think I touched so when I asked to try it one time when I got kicked off Valium which as you know it’s not very good I’ve got put on after a bad experience. Grape grape by my ex, and it was a short term thing, but I felt awful and I was hallucinating and I was in a really weird way and I also still appealed from my other exes house which led me to be really drooling and off my head and not remembering things in this house anyway, so that’s where I first tried it and for that year when we were living from house to house of people and Sophie spare rooms whatever, was the most exciting time of my life. It was an adventure that I’ve never been in. It was some kind of life experience that I needed for that time, but it led to this really scary time that I live in now so would I take it back? I’m not too sure i’ll lose all these memories, but then I won’t be attached to it so much either. Yeah I’d probably take it because the people I know now I really don’t wanna know I’m telling you something, there’s a lot of really dodgy men in this world who will try and proposition you for sex for money or they will try and do things to you the amount of times I’ve had men do things to me that dodgy sexually, I can’t even fathom it’s very sad, no one should have to go through that. made me feel so protected from the heroin all of it the relationship with that felt amazing, We lived from moment to moment we bonded so deeply our moon 🌙 signs very compatible. we shared everything let’s say so in the five years 2 1/2 of them are good 2 1/2 of them really bad but let’s say this was really severe case of grooming two that felt good though it felt really good because it came with the drugs and it came with the reward system that your brain creates of Doberman, but after a while your break your brain needs a pleasure and reward centre to survive. It’s like breathing it felt amazing. I felt so good every time I felt so good he he controlled my habits so I didn’t get too bad so I would get high probably off. Let’s say £10 worthb or £20 worth a day, maybe less let’s say less.
Eventually, my family obviously found out because I’m a very honest person and I like why did you say that I’ve noticed addicts are very dishonest people, scum of the Earth and I can’t stand them and they can’t stand me either. They do not like me and I think my ex knew this about them that they wouldn’t like me because he did all the messaging and calls to these people I didn’t know these people were so uptight about a text message, but they are absolutely ridiculous, I wasn’t used to this level of paranoia unless it was in your mind none of these people give a shit about you. I’m talking as 33-year-old me now and not 22-year-old man. It’s been over 10 years can you believe it because I can I mean it could be another lifetime ago and it could be yesterday 22-year-old didn’t know about this. Didn’t know this rule it’s uptight don’t do that and I honestly I hate these people honestly I’m miserable it’s not good for me I’m constantly sad,😔 yeah I mean the end of last year I going to join this astrology course and I have a teacher now at this woman I listen to for years on YouTube who I love I love her way of teaching listening to her on YouTube she was so good at going into it all. I looked up with Darkside zodiac and I found her but anyway I’m gonna tell her I lost friends in my opinion, so basically when I was younger, I was a bit of a goody-goody so that transition into hard-core addict who thought she was Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain with her boyfriend was obviously a massive shock to my friends and family I’m guessing constantly asking for money this day,
They didn’t realise this world opened up, a whole box of things that made me feel better, but a whole shit load of a basement full of crap that came with it. They won’t so yeah, I was a goody goody I didn’t really drink. I didn’t do this I didn’t do that, but I was fun. I was a happy shy girl And I would join in and have a laugh with my friends we would get the stone high part when I used to bring school in into school my sister’s part into my friend and he smoked I didn’t even smoke. Then I didn’t even feel the pressure to smoke. So yeah this was a massive personality change I guess so I always went from group group I was always a bit of a drifter.! point of sticking a needle in my arm, I wasn’t bad in fact I was the opposite of a bad arse you could say but as he has went on things happened and you meet people, my best friend who I be my best friend from the age of 10 made her be my best friend until she agreed. She was my best friend from me from me, her being sick of me, trying to ask it probably so I made my first love through her years later 18 years old and he was just schizophrenic and I even got warned off him which was probably the right idea cause this is where my first mental break happened a few years after that so this is why is slowly threatened to do law, and my personality was really changing, and I guess it was very scary for the people around me, so I’d have relationships with people friends whatever, but it always felt forced with this man. It never felt forced. It felt natural, and he would convince me that these people wanted to hurt me, or they weren’t good enough for me or they for I wasn’t good enough for them. He was very clever very very very clever he had me believing all of this shit and so it still this day is in and I can’t get rid of and I think anyone who’s been in a abusive relationship will feel this.
I have put a lot of pressure on my family. I feel like I am loving girl but I don’t have a family like the rest of them all my sisters have children. My brother is happy in a relationship. He is with someone for 11 years and he was very very happy even though he’s my older brother he sometimes feels like my younger brother because he’s so more innocent and I was innocent like he was too Very similar. In fact he was more of a rebel than I was saying I think I wanted to rebel so badly because I never had the opportunity. I mean the first guy I slept with gave me herpes if you want to talk about bad luck, but I thought it was a bad ass then because I was going out of a guy from Bangladesh who was a Muslim who had a restaurant well he didn’t have the restaurant who I was fucking in his restaurant And I thought I was cool. I was getting free curries and then I went to the next shop up the road and it was a Turkish guy who had a gorgeous green eyes. I was obsessed with being in love and not with English man. I thought English men were trash they never fancied me in school. I never had boyfriends, and I lost my virginity at 16.
 so my friends now anyway, who I lost I’ve tried to bring back into my life but they’re not perfect either. I’m not saying they’re perfect but they weren’t drug Alex and we weren’t into people like that. They don’t know anything about people like that when I tell them about the things that have been degraded too, I’m in the last three years I didn’t leave my house because of a sexual assault kind of thing again And it’s very very scary so they couldn’t understand it or comprehend. They didn’t know why I was agitated. They didn’t know why I couldn’t meet up with them till sad times. They didn’t know why I didn’t pick up my phone they didn’t know why I called them at weird hours they didn’t understand it they didn’t understand why I wanted money they didn’t understand why I didn’t have this. They didn’t understand the people that knew I get it. I wish I didn’t even guys They see it though they see what happened, but then I did have one very abusive friend who is a Gemini and she would send me essays with you sometimes and this was before I got with Matt! she could still be very nasty I mean when I got her, she was like really rude about that and telling people I mean what kind of friend does that anyway so she comes and stay with me after a few years of me being with him and we have a nice time. Kind of have a good time, I’m still happy because I’m with him well I think I am anyway she comes down with fake note she was like can you use it cause she knew the olive. It was a bit backwards compared London I was like yeah probably be fine anyway one day we walked into town and I call her from upstairs from my exes flat and she looks horrified on that. Oh God here we go and she looked up annoyed anyway she’s there and a few days later, she’s all happy happy all on her phone and a good mood God. I wish I felt like her with making weed and I was being very paranoid and that’s when I stopped because I’d started smoking crack at this point because my ex couldn’t do heroin any more fuck from injecting and I hated cocaine. I just did it because he did it and he wanted me to owe him money. A lot of these drug addicts Connell is too so you owe the money I offend this. Well I’m too good for it and I know I’m so good for it and I wanna meet the other people who are not like this who are not con artists ! so she is high and she’s like don’t you feel so amazing I didn’t but I pretended yeah for great anyway she doodled all over this night and then she goes he go you can have it as she left to go home. I was like cheers can’t use it for shit now but thanks 🧑‍🎨.
Chapter 1
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astrologylife1 · 2 months
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My TWINFLAME CHART
This could take days but I can go into the strange and spiritual aspects of what the twinflame relationship is. These are just some aspects that give that MASC/FEM side we had on eachother.
ME: SCORPIO RISING - FEMINIE SIDE OF MARS
HIM: AIRES RISING - MASCULINE SIDE OF MARS
Our first time meeting was like “woah, who tf is this” lol
ME: TAURUS IN 7th house / FEMININE side of VENUS
HIM: LIBRA in 7th house/ MASCLINE side of VENUS
We both had this delicate approach to each others needs.
ME: LIBRA in Mars in my 12th house
HIM: AIRES in Mars in his 1st house
The way directness from him made me weak in the knees not even gonna lie. But my Mars in his 7th house balanced out the anger I would’ve usually shown.
ME: SUN in SAGITTARIUS the MASCULINE side to JUPITER
HIM: SUN in PISCES the FEMININE side to JUPITER
We both are very idealistic but in different ways.
Me: Pisces in JUPITER
Him: TAURUS in JUPITER
My jupiter in his 12th, his Jupiter in my 7th
ME: SATURN in ARIES
HIM: SATURN in TAURUS
My Saturn in his 1st house, his Saturn in my 7th
We have the same axis but opposite for example.
Me: VENUS IN 2nd house
Him: MOON IN 8th house
We both have 2/8 axis in the intense and possible house but different planets. He came off much more intense in the beginning with his moon being in Scorpio 8th house.
ME: MOON in 11th house
HIM: VENUS in 11th house
I was much more free spirited and independent at the beginning not really realizing his emotions 😂
12th house placements
Mars being in my 12th house made my impression of impulsiveness and directness seem non existent and fraglie. Mars in our body but his SUN in the 12th his ego was naturally much more fragile even this is his chart ruler is exalted with Mars. Does anyone see that?
Comment any questions or add ons you notice, would love to hear your intake🩷
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sagittariusmars2 · 8 months
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(Top to bottom) messages from ur twin flame
Pile 1
I see that they’re praying about the connection, they want to give you space or more time to yourself. I see that this person isn’t happy and they keep thinking about the past, I see that t they try not to think about you too much but they want a reconciliation. I see trust they want to talk to you soon. Signs- cancer, Taurus, Capricorn, Gemini. Initials- X, F, E, L, K
Pile 2
I see that they want to take things slow and they’re scared of rejection, I see that they’re masking how they feel or what they really want. I see that they need to take better care of themselves and focus on their goals, i see that they don’t like the disharmony in the connection and they know how stagnant the connection is but they don’t feel ready to see you. I see that they’re feeling more comfortable in their feminine energy and they don’t want you or them to settle for less. Signs- Aries, Sagittarius, Taurus. Initials- R, E, V, Z
Pile 3
I see that they feel lonely and stagnant, they’re hesitant about the connection but they’re scared to lose you. I see that they’re manifesting you and they’re trying to stay optimistic about the connection, I see that they want a new beginning and they may want to see you or communicate by winter. Signs- cancer/libra. Initials- S, D, Z, V, B, Q
Personal readings always available, please watch my pick a card reading on YouTube
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miss555star · 7 months
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TWIN FLAME INDICATORS LILITH/VENUS/JUNO in synastry, birth chart, composite. this is me & my 🧿twins🧿 alignment it is PRONOUNCED with lilith in libra & our libra energy period. lilith has everything to do with your CORE/your RAW SELF. who you really are without fear or shame & the fact that we share this so strongly being in the same sign & degree made so much since for me🥹 our juno's are also in libra & share juno in libra in composite as well as our sun, venus & our lilith. these synchronicities are strong & play an important role in our journey. [reminder everyone's soul mission/journey is different] our mission is to help each other live through these energies to help us be our most authentic selves & we find so much security with each other to do that. that 29° speaks of this also being our lesson, it is a fated journey. he is a scorpio sun & I am a virgo sun. look for some synchronicities between your twin & your chart they will be different for everybody but understand they will show up & show out! does anyone share heavy placements with their twin?
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divine-mystic-princess · 10 months
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zahra-rose · 27 days
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“Imagine one selected day struck out of it and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.”
- C. Dickens, Great Expectations (1861)
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loveemagicpeace · 2 years
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⛵️May Notes⛵️
🧊Capricorn rising has strong approach. That is why many people see them as inaccessible, untouchable. They always have so powerful presence and people often find them as intimidating. But when you meet them they are not really like that. I have also noticed that they are very non-judgmental.
🛼Sagittarius placements/mercury are very open-minded people. I feel like you can ask them anything and they won’t find it silly. Also they are very honest people and I feel like I will always get an honest answer or advice from them. They never mislead, always say straight. The thing about sags is that they can't be dishonest because then they feel like they're not being themselves. Alsoo sagittarius are believers who always seek for meaning in this world so its really hard for them to not believe in something or not find meaning in things they do. Everything always represent meaning.
🦋I believe that scorpions have a special sense for people. And that they always know on the inside who they can trust and who they can't. So if a scorpio trusts you it means that he has found a deeper bond with you and feels that you are trustworthy.
💘I believe that people can form a bond with the energy they emit. When you see person for the first time and you feel a kind of special energy that you have never felt before. Like you know this person. You don’t need to talk to person to feel the energy, but when u do the conversation is very powerful and deep, eye contact with this person is strong. When u touch this person it feels like the energy explodes. You have feelings you can't explain. Feels like u create a bond with this person even if u don’t talk to them. And then that person somehow always comes back into your life even when you think you have to let it go. This means that this person is somehow meant to be in your life. Feels like twin flame or soulmate.And I feel that you usually feel that way when a person has your sun in their moon, the same rising sign, When the same planets fall in a person house(for ex:. Person has neptune in 1st house and your neptun falls in their 1st house) this makes a strong connection, south node in 8th house,Juno in 1st,7th or 8th house. Moon in 1st house or 7th house or maybe in 6th.
❤️People with their venus and moon in libra will always want to understand other people. Balance is important to them and they like to be neutral. They always look at things from a different perspective. They want to know both sides.
♍️Virgo rising always judge people it is in their nature. But I think their problem is because they are too critical of themselves and start judging themselves by others. I also think they plan things too much in advance and when it doesn’t go according to plan are angry. I’ve also noticed that when something makes them angry, their whole day is ruined. I also think virgos in the sun are more compassionate than in rising sign. But again it depends on what other placements you have.
🧚🏼‍♀️Neptun in 1st house I always see something dreamy in them. They have such artistic charisma and their way of expressing and looking is dreamy. Neptune gives people a lot of daydreaming and fantasizing about things. So it seems to me that these people always succeed because their view is like an illusion. As if they are constantly in the clouds and at the same time they have a really nice way of expressing themselves. It is very different to have the influence of Neptune or to have a lot of pisces placement. Neptune gives u a way of dreaming that you later start showing through your expression, creation, approach to things. Gives you a fairy presence. In pisces placements however, it is sometimes the case that they only dream and never do it because they have already done it in their minds. They like to be isolated and don’t like to share the things they do with others because they feel uncomfortable.
-Rebekah⛵️🦋❤️
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harlronica · 2 years
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psychic/intuitive astro placements for the planet Jupiter (pt. 1)
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In Astrology, Jupiter is associated with the principles of growth, expansion, healing, prosperity, good fortune, and miracles. A Starseed origin in alignment with this planet illuminates the power one carries during this incarnation. This origin would hint at the grail line you're tied to the most. This would be the aspect of your oversoul and your higher mental masculine plane. 
Jupiter is where we seek wisdom, wish to expand, and where we often have a lucky card to play. Dangers here can come from recklessness or an over optimistic attitude- wishing to get away from the routine of mundane life- where we want to experience something in its fullness. An interest in Law and Justice over the houses themes can also be found in the area of Jupiter. Mostly, this house will be full of positive vibrations and will.
*Psychic/Intuitive Astrological signs for the planet Jupiter* "I Grow"
Gemini: those born with Jupiter in Gemini can always be found at the center of any conversation. They have an impressing and captivating way with words along with listening skills and the ability to absorb information. These people have the ability to see different sides and perspectives of any argument or given situation. They're very open-minded individuals with the ability to receive vast amounts of information (especially if you find a fixed stargate to Orion here.) With Jupiter in Gemini you are intuitive, spiritual, intellectual, open-minded, and very absorbent in gathering information.
Cancer: those born with Jupiter in Cancer have their energy focused on compassion. They are extremely empathetic- having their way with feelings and emotions- they easily know what others are going through and are able to process others' reactions in a deeper way than most of us. Very intuitive, sensitive, and emotional (especially with a fixed stargate to Sirius or Hydra here.) Having the planet of higher knowledge in alignment with Cancer, although extremely caring, these people are not easily deceived by others as they are gifted with the ability to see through any deceiving nature. Extremely psychic!
Sagittarius: Jupiter functions best here being in its home planet. These people are very inspiring with a strong faith in any spiritual or religious matters in which they choose to pursue. Being the luckiest placement for Jupiter, this could be considered a spiritual blessing. They were born with the gift of almost anything working out in their favor, and hold a pro-found, deep, spiritual knowledge. The position and house placement of Jupiter here will determine whether this knowledge is held consciously or subconsciously. Very intuitive, prophetic, and inspirational people! (Especially if in alignment with a fixed stargate to Shaula or Lyra.)
Aquarius: this is a similar placement to Jupiter in Sagittarius. One of the luckiest placements for Jupiter, those born under this placement are smart, unique, and interesting with a creative and unique energy. These people have an individualistic trait to their personality and are very open-minded with an unusual, yet innovative way of thinking. They are intuitive and hold a divine wisdom in which enables them to use their higher mind for guidance (especially if in alignment with a fixed stargate to Andromeda.)
Pisces: those with Jupiter in Pisces are blessed with a soft soul that is full of compassion and love along with a vivid imagination. They feel very connected to the collective with a deep understanding of others that allows them to sense their feelings without the need for words. They are visionary, intuitive, spiritual and extremely psychic (especially if in alignment with a fixed stargate to Andromeda which runs along with Aquarian/Pisces degrees.)
Note: not all zodiac signs are listed. If your Jupiter sign is not listed that does not mean that you do not have other intuitive/psychic indicators in your chart. To be fair, everybody has intuitive and psychic placements to one degree or another in their astrological chart. This is why it is important to refer to the entire astrological chart as a whole! <3
What sign is your Jupiter in? Mine's in Gemini :)
For business inquiries please email [email protected] ! I'm currently offering Full Starseed Origin chart readings for $30 and basic Starseed Origin chart readings for $20 which is a shorter reading than what you receive with the Full Origin reading. I accept paypal/venmo and do not require payment until after the reading.
Sadly, I have discontinued the Twin Flame Synastry readings as they were becoming too hectic and people were not happy with their results. It's always important to remember that no reading you ever purchase can fully determine whether or not you are on a Twin Flame Journey as that is something you will always have to learn for yourself. Any reader who tells you that they can accurately tell you whether or not you are is lying. My work is very important to me and I will always have the buyer's best interests at heart which is why I felt as if it was time to discontinue this service.
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astro1derland · 5 months
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Happy Full Beaver Moon today! 🦫
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The Moon was the fullest today at 4:16 AM located at 4° Gemini. ♊️
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alyjojo · 11 months
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Twin Flame 🔥 Journey - May 2023 - Pisces
Your Energy:
The High Priestess - 9 Swords - 8 Cups
Regarding: Queen of Cups
There is something you don’t know about this person, and it’s caused the entire relationship to fall apart, some 3rd party, a Queen of Pentacles. Your person has work on their side, this may be one of those “work spouses” or whatever you call them. This person seems to have no shame or restraint where your person is concerned, but your person is the problem, and you’re not sure how far this has gone, you’re fed tf up over it. I can’t see how far it went. There is a particular instance where someone was gone, maybe traveling with The Chariot, or at work, I’m not sure but it’s that instance that’s raised a million red flags. 9 Swords. You can’t sleep at night you’re so upset and mentally tormented over this person, who shows up as King of Cups and has in every row here. Secrets are tearing you apart. It’s possible you’ve put an end to the connection based on an assumption, fear, “I’ll do it before they do” type of mentality, for some. Or because they deserved it. It’s like you don’t trust them and don’t even want to be around them, but at the same time you DO. Maybe their side will shed some light on your confusion 🙏
Their Energy:
2 Cups - The Fool - 5 Pentacles
Regarding: 8 Pentacles
Oooh kay. For some, you’re the 3rd in a 3rd party situation, you’re the one keeping secrets. Being indulgent with this Twin, there’s clearly a very passionate spark. You could work with them. They do come up as your soulmate, Twin is a soulmate, but they’re with someone else. So you sneak around at work with this person, and they do genuinely love you but…not enough to do anything about it, make changes, leave this other person. They’re purposely avoidant and dodgy, sneaky & secretive. They want you both, it’s that simple, you’re giving them something their whoever, Queen of Pentacles, doesn’t. But she IS the Queen of Pentacles, this is someone that runs the household, raises the children, keeps everything orderly, bills paid, dogs groomed, among probably having some career of their own, they’re in charge of things. There is a respect there for this person, more than love even. You work together (maybe), flirt, gossip, laugh about all sorts of things, you make this person feel “young again” or like their old self, which makes them feel really good. Attractive. Exciting. But the reality is, they see you as Ace of Cups rev, not a “real” opportunity for them, not something that’s going to last or they can build a life with. For some they already have one of those. Yikes…
This could also be swapped, and you’re the partner, wife, what have you, dealing with a player. There is a sense of this HAS crossed a boundary, but *not* like you think. They’re very shifty, avoidant, full of shit, it’s not “technical” okay it’s just some flirting. A message. Whatever it is. They feel more like a victim than you do, because you’ve cut them off, demanded the truth, held them accountable. They give you 7 Swords behavior and you meet them with Ace of Swords, pure truth & clarity and hold the bs. No matter which person you are, your role may change here but they’re the same regardless. You just want clarity & truth so you can move forward. Their lack of accountability is probably your biggest issue, or you just think they’re shady af. I’m not sure how much or what they’ve actually done, I’m getting that they are telling the truth. In some backwards ass shifty way, they are. “Technically.” If this is a 3rd party situation, no matter which you are, I don’t see them leaving the first person. But, you’ve left them either way, and they’re feeling the sting of that.
Outcome for May:
9 Pentacles - The Moon - The Lovers
Regarding: 2 Swords
If you’re the outside person to someone else’s relationship, you’re done with that. It’s like you can’t even defend yourself, you know you have no leg to stand on, if this person is gonna stay with their partner then it is what it is, and the whole thing is just a heavy burden that’s left you very conflicted about….wasting your time. It doesn’t feel good, you’re focused on being independent and what you actually want for your future, which will take time.
If you’re the committed partner, you’re in two minds about where you even stand with this person at all. There is a lot of anxiety and internal conflict with you, this person doesn’t want to argue, you don’t know if there are other people just hanging around ready to fk up your life because your person just welcomes them right in or something. The healthiest option that you’re doing is just focusing on you, maybe spending more time with friends, maybe getting some advice from other people, because you’re at a loss. You’ve been heavily burdened by this whole situation and just want it to end. You may get an apology, or already have. You don’t yet know if you want to reconcile with this person or not, and you won’t until you feel secure in yourself. Technically you would be the runner, but in this story it’s justified, you’ve got to figure yourself out for the time being and just keep this person at bay, because you don’t know. Delay mirrors this for you.
Karmic Cards:
Uranus - Pisces - 10th House
- Stir up the situation by using your dreams responsibly.
- Be open to new ideas about your idealization of success.
- Invent a way to be a part of something overwhelming and become a person of power and status.
Oracles:
You: Delay
Confront the natural tendency to delay the finishing of a creative endeavor.
Them: Truth
An honest desire to know and speak the truth produces beneficial results.
Messages:
You:
- I need a BREAK from this.
- Uncomfortable tendencies 🥴
Them:
- Makes you laugh 😂
- I can’t love you in public
Possible Signs:
Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio heavy 💦
also Virgo, Leo, Gemini & Aries
Charms:
Dancer 💃 on Delay literally talks about a creative endeavor you’re putting off either due to this person or situation, and Spirit is saying while you’re in this energy of figuring yourself out and working on you, remember the things you love, your passions, things maybe you’ve set to the side in priorities. This could be literally dance, fashion, art on any level, something you have always had a passion for, it’s a good time to dive into that - away from this situation.
Saw 🗡 on Ace of Swords is the severing of ties, a saw is a sword and this *sword* specifically severs connections. You may have severed contact with this person as well as any attempts at their communication, blocked.
Bone 🦴 on 9 Pentacles could be a pet that you’re getting, not wanting to be totally alone, maybe you’re getting a new companion in that way. Could be something through a friend if so, and it will make you very happy. This is also an energy of a “servant” and 9 Pentacles is independence, you’re not allowing this person to place you in any definition of you that you haven’t given yourself, fk that, you know you don’t owe anyone anything for any reason. Or that’s your motivation for moving away from this person, they’ve really affected your sense of self. You’re planning better things with people around you that support you, friends.
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cmdwnmachine · 2 years
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sometimes at night when i can’t sleep, i imagine turning to my right in the dense darkness. and once i make this holy turn, i see the space beside my bed, on the floor, become illuminated.
and when i bend over to see what’s the commotion, to see what realm has opened up beside me, your name sits still on my phone screen. transforming this humble wood floor into a sacred space. a space that has cured my longing. in that moment, glitter begins to rain down from my studio apartment ceiling.
you tell me it’s all been a big misunderstanding- that your dog died, that your phone got stolen, that someone hacked all your electronic devices. you tell me that everything i thought and assumed was, in fact, false. you reassure me- telling me your feelings are pure and genuine- that they never faltered (not even once), that you’re stronger now, that you’re ready- and everything would be okay. our sorrow tale of “right person, wrong time” would be transformed into “right person, right time”.
you would tell me you were downstairs, and me, not bothering to wonder how you knew where i lived, would jump out of bed and slip on that blue sweater i bought in Chicago and those thin beaded sandals my crazy aunt gifted me. i would snatch my keys off the hook with the same ferocity as a starved lion, to run down the hallway and hop down the stairs that lead into the grass that’s so dark and wet that it feels like i am swimming into an enchanted swampland.
and there you will be, wearing that blue cotton t-shirt that makes you look so good in the most mundane way possible, with those dark green pants that blend into the dark green grass so well that the only way i know you’re not floating is from the faint glow of your battered white sneakers that make you look like you don’t care about the stupid things in life because you are confidently grounded.
i will see you standing there, and the moonlight will hit you just right. in a way that highlights the aged sophistication of your face that makes you look too posh to be in your early 20s. the white glow will caress the intricate curls on your head in the most delicate way, only selecting a select few wisps to show the world.
The sight of your face will make me feel like my sternum has just cracked open, inviting you in again, ready to love you again, for real this time, with everything within me. You will see me and your eyes will brighten up, the way they did that one night when you were watching me as we sat under a tree and I told you about my father.
I will run into your arms and that hug will single handedly absolve me of all the loneliness and yearning I have experienced in the last 12 months, because at last my throat has been parched and I can yell again.
I wake up. It is 3:09am and there are tears running down my face. I instinctively reach for my phone- nothing there. I sink back into a sullen sleep, laced with disappointment and longing.
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chezzabellesworld · 3 months
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Why were obsessed with these toxic
Twin flames 🔥,,,,,,water sign love ❤️🥀🌚🍄🪷💦💧☔️⭐️🌟✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨two of these women are cancers for a start ,and all of the men here have a water mars(Kurt Scorpio mars ,Bobby Scorpio mars,TOMMY AND Sid both mars in Cancer ♋️ ,,,very interesting the intensity of love it’
Gemini is coming up too with the ladies, we’re Pam is Gemini rising , Nancy is Gemini moon , Courtney is mars and Venus in the sign of Gemini ♊️, this with the water signs energy cancers Courtney and Pamela,Pisces ♓️ Nancy and Kurt , and Whitney’s rising sign ,,,,,,,this gives the dreamy love , and ultra feminine beauty,, the Gemini gives it the press or side which all these women were good at , especially Nancy and Courtney..
 Now getting to the part of this, which is inevitable to talk about with the fact of most of these relationships bar one, the man is considered the more dominant and more celebrity in these relationships and “ how dare these men love these kind of women “not not. This man could ever love one of these women. “Oh no, the men they’re all innocent in this rollercoaster.”, so what I was trying to say is that Whitney Houston, who is the woman in the relationship? Obviously is obviously the more successful one of the two, not that I think Sid Vicious is that successful. If I’m being honest, I mean I barely like this sex pistols, but Whitney Houston constantly had troubles with Bobby because of her higher elevation above him, not that I like to compare people success in measures like this, but if we’re talking career then yes he was constantly jealous. But after everything I’ve watched about these people after everything I’ve seen and by these people I don’t just mean Bobby and whitney but in this part I do, is the fact that I don’t believe Bobby introduced Whitney to cocaine, I do believe it in fact got worse when these kind of couples, including her and Courtney and Sid and Nancy I feel like maybe Whitney did give it to her Bobby. Maybe she was using a little bit and he knew the access she could get and he was like. Yeah that’s all the time let’s get this all the time and he had more of a bug, for wherever she could more control, maybe that kind of story will never know like I said with Pam and Tommy I don’t really know I feel like he was probably more of the drug addict in that relationship and this is why drugs come into it I’m not doing it is one of those stories because I have experience of one of these kind of relationships I became a heroin addict and I got with someone so I’m not using it for clout trust me. Sid and Nancy, that’s an interesting one because Sid’s mother was a heroin addict, but he would only do speed, when he gets with Nancy, he goes off the rails on heroin. I don’t know what the mum thought of Nancy I don’t really care cause, I don’t believe she was a very nice woman, and then when it comes to Kurt and Courtney , I believe the older one of the two seems to be the in the stories the one who influences more and you know that’s Courtney. I do believe Kurt did heroin, but these two energies coming together. Courtney is contacts because of how she is, that’s what I truly believe, but the same time Kurt Cobain is a Pisces and let’s not get it twisted people, I love the man 2 death.
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mspencils · 2 years
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astrologiaxo · 2 years
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ETSY SHOP IS NOW LIVE!!!
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miss555star · 7 months
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Twin flame, soulmate, or karmic connection we all have to learn the karmic lessons in the end. Stop overthinking your connection & stay true to yourself regardless! Trust your intuition in the process & remember fear is the opposite of love. True love cannot exist in the presence of fear. Fear comes from the mind, not the heart. Follow your heart, the beat of your soul so your mind aligns with the beat of your heart.
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