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buttercupsfrocks · 5 years

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Hey, Tumblr, did you know that there’s an Interior Design Police as well as a Fashion Police?! Strangely neither did I until I stumbled upon a listicle entitled 75 Things No Woman Over 50 Should Own on the delusionarily titled bestlifeonline.com. There, along with the usual arbitrary selections of sartorial crimes against humanity, (tracky bottoms, skinny scarves, bolero jackets), were the following:-

Tapestries. (What, even if one designed and made them oneself, comme ça?)

Neon signs.

A piggy bank.

Novelty salt and pepper shakers, (Oops!)

A vinyl tablecloth.

Novelty pillows. (Dang!)

A rolodex.

Indoor wicker furniture.

A lava lamp. (Who doesn’t love a lava lamp? Not this fully paid up B52s fan, I can assure you).

A dish of seashells. (D’oh! Missed the memo again).

Framed autographs (yep, got one of those too).

Talk about random. And there’s more; much more. It appears I should have jettisoned my giant pin boards at least twenty years ago, along with my magnifying mirror, stuffed animals, coloured pens, fairy lights, frameless posters, cheap mismatched silverware, decorations based on cartoon characters, mismatched towels, striped wallpaper, tassels, and elaborate keychains. (They’d have a blue fit if they knew that one of my keychains has both a twiddly fake key and a tassel on it). In fact the entire website is little more than an endless litany of stuff you should feel ashamed about owning, wearing, and in some cases, even saying. Like I totes can’t say “totes” – me, a writer, who loves slang so much she has at least a bookshelf-and-a-half dedicated to it. I also can’t say: “OMG”, “humblebrag”, “talk to the hand”, “fauxpology”, “sorry not sorry”, “I can’t even”, “as if”, “sus”, (a term in common UK parlance among people of all age groups for the duration of my lifetime), “ship”, (fuck you; Spuffy forever), and…wait for it…”adulting”, even though I plainly know a good deal more about doing it than the embarrassingly embarassable twelve year old ninny who probably wrote the article.

And still on the subjects of lists that give me the right royal pip, there’s thelist.com.

“If you are familiar with Dr Martens, you are too old to wear them.”

I’m sorry, what now?!

“We know those Crocs and orthopaedic shoes are super comfy, but they're not doing you any favours. There's something to be said for smart, sensible footwear, but you don't have to sacrifice your style and give away your age just to save yourself a few blisters”.

Unless of course you suffer with any kind of condition that dictates you have to wear fugly orthopaedic footwear, as numerous older people do. And blisters are the least of my problems, bub. Believe me the bunting and party hats come out when I can persuade anything approaching normal-looking footwear to accommodate my orthotics. Doc Martens are one of the precious few options available to me. I am, incidentally, feeling especially “salty” (another word my age precludes me from using), about this right now as, having discovered I can sometimes wear sandals with a moulded orthotic-like sole, these Office sandals...

...which I genuinely love and desperately wanted to rock this summer, damn near crippled me when I tried them on.

For all the blather about older women being able to cast off the shackles of convention and wear what we please, (or whatever the expert du jour thinks is within reason), the same unspoken assumptions that prevail in mainstream ladymedia are present in spades on these websites. Nobody reading could possibly be fat, or if they are they’re assumed to be fighting their poor beleaguered bodies unto death. The only chub ever alluded to, (albeit soto voce), is “middle aged spread”, but only the vestigial kind that can be miraculously rendered invisible by the belting of an “unflattering” oversized garment in the middle.

“Show off your curves by adding a cute belt to that dress or coat. It will accentuate your shape and let you still wear those comfortable items in your wardrobe without looking like you're wearing a muumuu.”

Never mind that I quite like wearing a muumuu, far from showing off my curves, belting any of my coats would make me look like the Albert Hall, which while undoubtably a Look, is not one I’m after.

“Balance is important when it comes to crafting a stylish look. Wearing oversized clothing disrupts that delicate equilibrium and unintentionally ages you.”

What. Ever.

The hectoring never lets up.

“There really is no such thing as grown up glitter when it comes to apparel, so it's best to accept that fact and avoid glittery tops, bottoms, and everything else!”

“Dressing like the '80s or '90s can be fun for a party, but being attached to a trend from your youth can look tired and disconnected and therefore can make one age themselves.”

“Large prints, especially on a tight clothing item like leggings, are an avoid-at-all-costs look. They are just too loud and aren't a piece that helps you look your best”

Among the ten items everyday.health.com bans me from wearing on account of my encroaching dotage are “too trendy denim”. Apparently I’m “not in my element” with it so my hard work was all for nought. Also verboten are oversized, overly decorated hobo bags, cheap unflattering underwear; (fat chance of finding cheap underwear in plus-sizes anyway though apparently I should do like the Sainted Gwyneth and wear Spanx under everything. Because she totally needs to and I so enjoy colic); and…wait for it…wait for it...

...“loud accessories”. This includes, horror of horrors, plastic earrings, which apparently I forfeited the right to wear at 35. (Do they count vintage phenolic, bakelite, and lucite as plastic I wonder? Because if enough rich older women get dissuaded from wearing it I might actually be able to afford some instead of faking it). Instead I’m exhorted to make a...

“Stunning Substitute: think quality and quantity. Limit yourself to one funky accessory per outfit – as long as it’s well-made. Think a leopard-print scarf, thin silver bangles or a gold clutch to dress up nice jeans and a simple top”.

Yeah, no. And, by the way here’s a picture of Helen Mirren in quite the loudest plastic necklace I’ve ever seen which, as you can plainly see, ages her terribly.

*snort*

Which brings me neatly to the subject of role models. Dame Helen comes up a lot. Here’s Harper’s Bazaar with some more:

“Pay close attention to the way women like Robin Wright, Julianne Moore, and Kristin Scott Thomas dress. And revel in the moment when you can justify shopping for labels like Céline, Calvin Klein, Jil Sander, and the Row — because not all sweaters are created equal. The Perfect Length (not too long, not Rihanna short), with the just-tantalizing-enough neckline, is more than worth the extra zeros”.

Wow. So much nope to pick apart in just three sentences!

Firstly, while I’m sure they’re all perfectly charming, I look nothing at all like any of these women, so why would I aspire to their style? Secondly, they have allllllll the extra zeros in their bank accounts while I have zero zeros. Thirdly, even if I could afford any of those labels, (a sweater from The Row costs well over a thousand quid by the way), why the love of little fluffy kittens would anyone think I want to dress like this?

I mean I know I like an oversized garment but I’m good with Monki, thanks. If that lot doesn’t say, “this was the only shit I could find to fit me”, I don’t know what does. And quite what the tiny, terminally haggard looking Olsen twins, who dreamed up the wretched label, would look like in any of this eye-bleedingly expensive folderol I shudder to think. You’d probably need to send in the fire brigade to find them in all that fabric, poor loves.

At its root shaming-as-entertainment is a tool for capitalism, both simple and complex. Feel mortified for owning something age inappropriate? Buy something new and more grown up, preferably at enormous expense. Or, if pay day’s too far off, invest in some garbage gossip rag and bitch about the state of those richer and more famous than you are. It’ll make you feel great for all of five minutes, then you can fill the emptiness that follows in its wake with some cheap fast fashion or cake. Even though cake is naughty and unclean and fast fashion is killing the environment; but hey that’s what diet books (kerching!) and gym memberships (kerching!) and ethical fashion, (with a cut-off size of 16), are for, right?

Ironically, in yet another catalogue of grievous mistakes to make once you’re over forty, bestlifemyarse.com includes “neglecting your mental health” and “basing yourself-worth on what other people think”. But how the hell are women expected to do that under a constant barrage of opprobrium, not least since also included in the aforementioned list is “avoiding the scale”?

Tumblr, I put it to you that people are just as likely to buy stuff if they’re feeling good about themselves than if they’re feeling shite. I fucking love stuff but there has to be an alternative way to sell it that’s less damaging to our sanity and self esteem. That’s in part why fat women created their own media. But, the more it edges into the mainstream, the more it it puts the wind up advertisers and those who rely on their sponsorship. So now our message – the one about self acceptance and being able to live unrepentantly in the bodies we have – has been appropriated, de-fanged, and rebranded as “Body Positivity”, an ersatz movement intended to reassure average-sized women fretful they might be a little bit fat, with the added proviso, “as long as you’re healthy”, (i.e not fat). And while the net abounds with token examples of older lady bloggers granted the status of fashion maven, they’re all slender as reeds, and most of them are ex-models. Big fucking whoop. Meanwhile anyone of any age who is objectively fat is “promoting obesity” simply by expressing our personal style in public.

My collection of shells incidentally, includes some my mum brought me back from the Channel Islands when I was a child; a conch a friend dove for in the Virgin Islands and presented me for my 19th birthday; several beauties that held pride of place in a late family friend’s study for decades; an abalone shell from New Zealand plucked from the beach by my Kiwi pal Di; a sand dollar from Ocean Beach in San Francisco given to me by my dear friend Jude who died of secondary breast cancer a few months before Jane did; some pebbles gathered with my friend Lesley in literal sub-zero temperatures on a completely deserted beach one not-so-flaming June up north, both of us in hysterics over the utter bleakness of it all, and a load more shells from the Pembrokeshire coast contributed by my friend Steve’s departed mum back in the 1980s. Even the bowl itself was given to me by Karen, whose parents found it in the attic of their new house and thought I might like it. It’s a veritable a lifetime in shells; a celebration of love and friendship spanning decades. In short it has meaning, which is a damned sight more than you can say for any of these wretched lists.

Rise above the buzzkill, Tumblr.

#What I'm wearing #Plus size style #Fatshion #OOTDs #Ageism #Sizeism #Got my ranty pants on #Fuck fashion rules #Fuck interior design rules too

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beauty-andtheblonde-blog · 7 years

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Hello lovelies!

Do I have some things to share! For those of you who may not be familiar, RuPaul is an Iconic drag queen who started making the art of drag a more mainstream and widely accepted community through means of being the first drag queen to land a cosmetic campaign (with MAC nonetheless), raising money for aids research, and more popularly known- hosting shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race and Drag U; shows that bring “undiscovered” queens with unmatched talent into the spotlight. Ru’s empire has been growing consistently since the start of his career, so a convention seemed like the obvious next step and DragCon was born!

Overview

DragCon has something for every kind of drag fan, which made for a diverse crowd. Meet and Greet’s were going on all day for those of us who had specific queens we wanted to meet (stay tuned for my post about meeting Cynthia Lee Fontaine tomorrow!). There were also dozens of vendors with all kinds of padding, jewelry, and costumes for queens that were in attendance, and there were a few cosmetic companies and other miscellaneous vendors as well! OCC, Jefree Star, Sugarpill, Ardell, Alcone, and Ricky’s NYC were all there, so I got to pick up some staple products and play with new ones! Each queen also had their own booth to sell their merchandise in, and there were some companies selling patches, pins, artwork, clothing, and pretty much anything else you can think of!

I will say, it was so crowded. This was great for all the business owners and vendors, but as a guest, it was so hard to actually do anything at the show. Lines to get into booths were crazy, which is expected. The length of the lines didn’t bother me as much as the lack of organization did. The last event I was at that was as crowded as DragCon had very distinct lines and labels. A lot of our time was spent asking what line we were in, and maneuvering around a line we accidentally got stuck in. It was just so difficult to get into booths; even the ones that weren’t that crowded. I really just felt like I was getting herded like a cow. Because the queens who had booths were doing meet and greets in their own booths, instead of a designated area, the situation only got worse as more queens came out for photos. If there was a designated area for queens to hold their meetings and take photos, I feel like the show floor would have been a lot less congested and things would have moved more smoothly. This being said, please don’t take this as me not liking the event. I had so much fun.

First of all, you could tell that everyone in the ballroom was so genuinely accepting of everyone who attended, and everyone there had some degree of love and appreciation for the art of drag. Seeing this kind of love and coexistence in such time of political unrest and social discrepancies made me feel like there are still good people in the world. You could literally walk into this event and find every kind of gender, race, identity, and orientation. I would bet money on the fact that not a single person felt out of place or underrepresented there. It always amazes me how the communities that are so often subjected to hate and discrimination, are the same ones to embrace whoever might stumble upon them.

As far as shopping goes, the booths I did some damage in on Saturday were Sugarpill, OCC, Ricky’s NYC, Strange Ways, Madame Whiskers, the DragCon booth, and Farrah Moan’s booth. Keep reading to find out what new thing I got to play with!

Day One- Shopping!

Sugarpill

The line for Sugarpill was bearable and pretty easy to maneuver; definitely not the worst line of the day! There was a show discount of about $2 per item. So, eyeshadow pans were $8 instead of $10, pressed shadows were $10 instead of $12 and so on and so forth. I picked up three eyeshadow pans and one liquid lipstick. I desperately wanted the shade Dollipop- a bright pink that happens to be Farrah Moan’s signature pink eyeshadow. But, unsurprisingly the shade quickly sold out. I did end up with Kim Chi (left), Velocity (right), and Poison Plum (center), as well as the Strange Love liquid lipstick. I definitely plan on using these shadows for day 2 so stay tuned to see what I come up with!

OCC (Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics)

OCC was having an awesome show deal and there was no line at all! The staff was super friendly and welcoming, and let you take as long as you needed to play around with samples and decide what you wanted to purchase (I was definitely having some trouble deciding what color glitters I wanted). I ended up with two glitters, a liquid lip, and a lip liner! Spoiler, I use this blue glitter for day 2 as well.

Ricky’s NYC

Ok, I told myself I WAS NOT going to spend money at Ricky’s since I go there more often than I’d like to admit. BUT, in my defense, everything in the booth was 25% off. It would be a sin not to take advantage of 25% off in a store that carries Lilly Lashes and House of Lashes. Sooo that being said, I am a proud new owner of a pair of Lilly Lashes in the style Mykonos, and a pair of House of Lashes in the style Iconic! I was going to pick up a few Violet Voss pairs as well, but I still have three pairs that are still in pretty good shape. So technically I do have self control when it comes to eyelashes. If I didn’t have any self control I would have bought the whole lash display.

Strange Ways

This was actually the first booth I stopped at, and I’m so glad I did! They had some awesome iron-on patches, some pins (including two Shea Couleè exclusives), buttons, and stickers! I wasn’t originally going to get any patches, but then I looked down at the denim jacket I had with me and instantly changed my mind. I definitely wanted something pink to throw on the jacket, and the fact that the “duh” patch was both pink and sassy, was enough of a selling point for me. I also went with the NYC patch because that’s where the event was, and it’s my home-city! The two buttons say, “I don’t care” and “I’m perfect”. Because who doesn’t love some extra sass and a confidence boost with their buttons? Then, because I spent $20, I got the brands pin and sticker for free! Check out all of their stuff riiiiiiiiiiiiight HERE!

Madame Whiskers

I am such a sucker for earrings, and especially ones that are not your typical gold or silver hoops. Madame Whiskers had so many original pieces of jewelry, varying from huge dangly ones covered in glitter, to unconventional studs. Shocker, I went with something pink again; and something that describes my mood about 85% of the time. I was so stuck between these hearts and rose gold glitter coffins, so I will definitely be ordering from them soon. You can find their Etsy shop HERE. The companies Socials are on the business card below!

DragCon Booth

I was so happy to find out that event merchandise wasn’t super overpriced. Yes, $25 for a t-shirt was a little up there, but $2 buttons and $10 keychains, among other reasonable priced items made up the majority of the booth. There was a $200 bomber jacket and oh my goodness I was so ready to sell a kidney in order to own it. And I will say, the DragCon T-shirt might have been $25, but it’s not your typical cheap scratchy cotton blend. It’s super soft and light!

Farrah Moan

So, as most of the queen’s booths operated, there were two separate lines. One to purchase merchandise, and one for the meet and greet. In order to meet a queen, you had to purchase a piece of their merchandise. From what I could gather, this was a pretty common practice among the show. It was a little frustrating having to wait in two separate lines, I feel like there definitely could have been an easier way to move the process along. Even though I bought a Farrah tank top, by the time I got there she was already done taking pictures, which was also frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, the girl’s gotta eat and take breaks, she’s a person not a machine. I’m not angry that she took a break, I just feel like there should have been a better way of communicating that information, rather than waiting until you got to the front of the line to tell you that you couldn’t actually meet Farrah until tomorrow. The ticket I got worked for the next day as well, so again, I was more agitated that I waited in a crazy long line when I could have been doing something else. BUT I actually ran into Farrah outside the show while I was walking to the Port Authority. She apologized but said she didn’t have time to take a photo, again- TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. She was really sweet and looked gorgeous, as expected.

Wrapping it up and Headin’ Home!

A few other miscellaneous adventures included the red carpet photo-sesh; totally necessary. We also stopped at the VH1 booth for a quick photoshoot and metallic bag!

Day one was a huge success! I got most of my shopping done, as well as anything that required a crazy long line. I was aiming to do primarily shopping and waiting around on day one, so I could relax a little more on day 2 and really enjoy the show, rather than wandering around getting stuck in lines,

Day Two will be up very shortly! Let me know who your favorite queen is, and who you hope to see on all stars this season!

Love and lashes,

Katy

RuPaul’s DragCon Day One- Definitely What Unicorns Dream Of Hello lovelies! Do I have some things to share! For those of you who may not be familiar, RuPaul is an

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