#pinky promise my next work won't be as sad or as deep <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

basiccortez · 2 years

Text

A Song Unknown- JTK: Ch 4

synopsis: Jake is trying to figure things out and piece the puzzle together

taglist form (lol i’m getting better at this whole writing taglist thing;)

warnings: cursing, TJ getting stitches, mentions of a depressive episode

TJ was not a scared kid when it came to a lot of things. That was something he clearly inherited from his father. It scared Y/N that he wasn't scared of anything. He was at the age where he liked to do what he wanted and was learning what fear and danger actually meant. His favorite thing to do currently is to yell: "Hey, mom! Watch this!" and Y/N had about 3 seconds to turn and see what he was doing or catch him from jumping off of something. Two months ago they were in the ER for him jumping off the back of the couch and splitting his chin open. And today it was jumping off the swingset in the backyard.

"I tried to catch him," Sam said as they sat in the small ER exam room. TJ was coloring away in some coloring book as Y/N sat on the exam table waiting for the doctor to come in.

"I know, Sam. He's got wild blood in him," Y/N smiled, pushing back the crazy curls on his head, "Its the Kiszka in him,"

Sam took a deep breath, "So you told him the truth?"

Y/N nodded and looked down at her son, "You have ever right to hate me and call me names too. I get it, i would do the same,"

"I could never hate you," Sam said, and looked at his nephew, "Does it suck that we didn't know? Yeah, it does. But I can't read minds, no matter how cool that would be, I don't know what happened 3 years ago to make you think you couldn't tell us. That's your business, i'm just happy to get to be here now, whether he has Kiszka blood in his veins or not. Either way, I'd still be uncle Sammy to this crazy kid,"

"Uncle Sam!" TJ squealed and launched himself into the twins arms. Sam let out a playful groan and pulled the little boy into his lap, "I drewed this for you!" TJ handed the scribbled drawing to him.

"Ah! Potatoes!" Sam said and TJ giggled shaking his head.

"It's me, mommy, Uncle Jake, Uncle Joshy, Uncle Danny, and you!" TJ said pointing to the round shapes that did, in Sam's defense, look like potatoes.

"It's so beautiful buddy, i think i'm gonna cry," Sam said sticking his bottom lip out and TJ giggled, "Hey, no more dare devil stunts okay, promise me?"

"I promise," TJ said and held his pinky out so they could pinky promise, "Uncle Josh said next time wear a helmet."

"And this is why Uncle Josh won't babysit," Y/N said. TJ wiggled his way down from Sam's lap and climbed over to his mothers. Y/N pulled him into his lap as the doctor came in.

"Thomas?" The doctor asked and Y/N nodded.

"I go by TJ," TJ answered and the doctor smiled.

"Of course, my apologies, now let's see how we can fix that head of yours,"

Y/N tried not to cry and TJ didn't even bat an eye at the 3 staples they but in his head. TJ found it kind of funny and demanded to be called 'Frankenstein' now. Sam held his hand as they walked out of the ER and to her jeep. He got the little boy all buckled in before climbing into the drivers seat. Sam noticed Y/N's discomfort as they drove back to her mom's house.

"So Thomas. . . Jake said he was named after some Tayler guy." Sam asked.

"I lied," Y/N sighed, "Thomas Jacob Parker,"

"Born March 25th!" TJ added.

"You guys were definitely busy during that trip to New York," Sam smirked and Y/N hit his chest lightly, "I'm sorry."

"Jerk," Y/N grumbled.

"But uh, why Parker? If you don't mind me asking," Sam asked.

"It was the safest bet for me at the time," Y/N explained, "The nurses had asked me what his last name was and I didn't even think twice when I said it. I know it's kind of fucked up and I'll work on getting it changed-"

"Don't change anything you don't want to," Sam said glancing at her, "If Parker is what he knows, then keep it that way."

Y/N gave Sam a sad smile. She was happy that he was so understanding, almost the opposite of his twin. Instead of going to the Parker house, he parked Y/N's jeep in front of his parents house. Y/N grabbed TJ and carried him into the house, trailing behind Sam.

"Hey, we're-"

"She's a fucking liar, mom!" Jake's voice immediately filled the air, "She's got you all fucking brainwashed to hide this from me!? It's not like he's some christmas gift that everyone can know about except the person receiving it,"

"It wasn't ideal what she did, but she did it for a reason," Karens voice sounded out.

"What fucking reason?! You realize how fucked up my life is going to be now? She gonna try and get money from me? Take me to court?! I have a career, we've barely gotten this shit rolling and now she decides to show up,"

"Jacob," Karen responded.

"That's probably part of the reason she didn't want to tell you," Josh said.

"Or because she's a fucking whore and didn't know who's kid it was. For fucks sake Josh, you sure it ain't yours or Sam's? He looks an awful lot like the both of you too!"

"Jake, that's enough,"

"I'm fucking serious. Who really fucking knows? The DNA test just said there's a parental match, and there's three of us." Jake said and Sam looked back at Y/N who was trying to block TJ from hearing the harsh words come from Jake's mouth, "She was always weirdly close to San. What's stopping her from getting with the band? Fails out of NYU, needs some money for a kid who she doesn't even know who the father is-"

"Would you just stop speaking!" Sam yelled making his presence known. Jake looked from around the kitchen corner to see his baby brother and the fading figure of Y/N Parker as she left the kiszka house, "Wait, Y/N!" The girl didn't stop as she walked into her house and slammed the door shut.

"How long was she standing there?"

"Long enough," Sam said, pushing past his brother.

"TJ hear it?"

"Probably," Sam shrugged.

"Jesus, he's just a kid, he doesn't need to be dragged into this shit show," Jake said.

"A kid, who's named after you, looks just like, has the same passion as you, who actually shares the same DNA as you," Sam said.

"He's named after me?" Jake asked softly.

Sam nodded, "Thomas Jacob,"

Jake shook his head and ran his hand down his face, "I feel so. . . conflicted,"

"And that's okay, Jacob," Karen said rubbing her son's back, "It's okay to feel that way. We did too when we found out, but we knew it wasn't our place to tell. She wasn't just thinking about herself, she was thinking about you too."

"Y/N's smart, and no matter what you say, you know damn well you would've not pursued music this passionately if she told you 3 years ago she was pregnant," Sam said and Jake looked up at his younger brother.

Sam was right. Jake couldn't help but envision of differently his life would've played out if she would've told him. He wouldn't have been able to bring himself to spend months on end on the road, or long days in the studio. Jake was a rockstar with a big heart. He would've wanted to spend every waking moment by Y/N and TJ's side. He would've given up everything to be there for her, to be by her side through it all.

"You would've given up music for me to do film, and you would've done the same to have a family with her," Josh said, "Yes it was a hard choice, but she saw what would've happened, and didn't want that for you. You probably would've never said it to her face, but you would've low-key blamed her for what could've been if she had told you."

Jake nodded and agreed, "I just don't know what to do."

"It's been a long day filled with too many emotions. You guys are both tired, I can see it on your faces," Karen said, "Julie said Y/N isn't leaving until Sunday, so you got all day tomorrow to talk to her,"

"Leaving?" Jake asked, "Leaving where?"

"To go back to Nashville," Sam said, stating the obvious, "That's where she lives,"

For a split second Jake forgot. Y/N Parker wasn't just the quiet girl next door who made and designed their costumes. Y/N Parker had her own career now, a talented music engineer working in the music scene in Nashville. But most importantly, she was the mother of his child, and he wasn't going to let her slip away again.

Y/N didn't talk much for the rest of the night. She made TJ dinner and wordlessly watched him play around in the backyard, trying to catch the lightning bugs that filtered up from the grass. The cool summer breeze blew through and made her grip her tea mug tighter. She tried to block out the events of the night, but couldn't. Y/N tried to put on a tough exterior for TJ, but it was starting to break her down.

Julie watched from the kitchen window as her daughter stared off into space. She knew the signs of this all too well. She watched as TJ ran around the old treehouse and swingset that Y/N's dad George had built when the first moved in. A small smile graced her face as the memories of Y/N, Danny and the Kiszka boys filled her mind. She could still picture their small bodies running around, for hours on end until the street lights turned on and they would all go to their respective homes. Julie had thought about tearing the treehouse down years ago when the kids grew too old to play in it, but when she had found Jake in it one night, she knew that she couldn't.

---------------------------------

Flashback, 4 years ago:

Julie wiped her hands after cleaning up the kitchen. She looked around at her quiet house. She hated the quiet. It was strange not hearing the rambunctious sound of 5 teenagers in her basement, or in her kitchen or outside in the pool. It was also strange not hearing the continuous beeping of her husband's vital sign reader.

Julie hung her head and looked over at the family picture on the wall above the sink. It had only been 6 months since her husband died and Y/N moved to the big city. It had also only been 3 months since Y/N tearfully called her and told her she was pregnant.

The woman sighed as she looked out into her backyard, and noticed the strand of lights on in the treehouse. She blinked a couple times, and wasn't completely sure how the lights in the old wooden house still worked. George had built the treehouse when Y/N was 5 and it took up the whole circumference of the tree. Julie had always joked that Y/N could move out to the treehouse and she basically did as a kid in the summers, with the Kiszaks and Danny right with her. Julie grabbed her coffee mug and headed outside to investigate.

"Hey!" She yelled from the ground, several feet in front of the tree, "Who's up there!?"

Jake poked his head through the window and Julie couldn't help the smile growing on her face. He gave her a small smile and a wave before somehow climbing down out of the small tree.

"I'm sorry for scaring you Mrs. Parker, but i needed somewhere to write," Jake said holding up his song book.

"Can't believe this old thing is still standing," Julie said motioning to the tree, "George said it's the strongest tree in the whole town,"

"I believe it," Jake said, "Can't believe i still fit in there,"

Julie laughed, "I can't believe either. Sadly, i think it's time is coming to an end. I think you're the first person to step foot in it, in 10 years. You all went and grew up on it,"

Jake looked at the tree and blushed. Memories of Y/N and his last night together flooding his mind. He had set up a candle lit dinner which consisted of pb&js and chocolate covered strawberries. But all the other memories of the countless times he would run off and find solace in the four wooden walls of the treehouse. He often times found himself there after a fight with his brothers during band practice, or writing away a song as Y/N's head laid in his lap and her portable record player would fill the space.

"You can't take it down," Jake said, "There's too many memories."

"Jake, it can't be very safe, I mean we built this when Y/N was little. It's been out here braving the elements. It's just wood and nails."

"It's more than just wood and nails," Jake said, "Y/N and Mr. Parker built it together. What will your grandkids have to play in when they come to visit?"

The word 'grandkid' hit a little closer to home. Julie tried to blink back tears as she thought of George helping Y/N up the ladder with a paint can in her hands, writing her name on the welcome sign. Julie ran her hand over the chipped paint of the welcome sign and closed her eyes, letting tears flow down her face.

"I-I, Mrs. Parker, i'm so-"

"You don't need to apologize, Jacob," Julie smiled at the boy, "You're right. This treehouse is so much more than wood and nails. Thank you for reminding me of that," Julie kissed the boys cheek before turning and heading back inside.

Jake took a deep breath and climbed back in the treehouse. He plugged in another strand of lights, making the place glow with a warm light. He laid out the blanket he brought and sat down, pulling his guitar in his lap, and stared playing the chords to the melody he had started writing.

"Love isn't greed, it's a need that goes unspoken. Love doesn't leave when you fade away..."

------------------------------------

"Hey," A voice spoke from behind the girl. Y/N smiled up at Sam. He sat on the lawn chair next to her, "How are you feeling?"

"Emotionally drained," She said softly, "My mom told me that you guys and Danny helped fix the treehouse last summer, thanks for that,"

"It was actually Jake's idea," Sam said and pointed to the freshly painted welcome sign, "After that bad storm that came through, he thought that we should probably fix it up."

Y/N nodded and looked back down at her tea mug. She could feel a dark cloud coming over her and she hated it. She wanted to push it away but she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried. Sam had always been able to read her, he had always joked that she was 1/2 of his twin flame, the 1/2 belong to Danny.

Sam didn't say anything, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his lap. Sam's affection and love language toward Y/N was completely platonic. He could see the way her eyes lit up when she would see his brother. During those awkward middle school years, it was made Sam jealous, until one day he kissed her and they both agreed it was like kissing a sibling. Sam held her tightly in his lap and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I feel dark," Y/N spoke and Sam nodded, "I don't like it,"

"I know," Sam said, running his hand down her back, "How can I help you?"

"I don't know,"

"Why don't you stay here longer? That way your mom can help you,"

"She can't. She has to work like the rest of us," Y/N sighed, "I have Tayler at home to help me,"

Sam didn't say anything but just hummed in agreement. The two stayed like that for about an hour, until it was time for TJ to go to bed. The little boy put up a fight but Sam agreed to putting him to bed as Y/N went and started a bath for herself.

Y/N sat in the warm bath, the water up to her shoulders. She sat in the quiet, listening to the dripping faucet as her mind was running. She couldn't ever really explain it, the darkness that she felt from time to time. It was the same darkness she felt when her father got sick, when she found out she was pregnant, when her father died, and the first couple months after TJ was born. Her mother explained to her that she wasn't crazy like she said she was, it was normal to feel dark after having a child.

Y/N pushed her thoughts out of her mind and closed her eyes tilting her head back. But it didn't help. She had thought about it before, slipping under the water, seeing how long she could hold her breath. She hadn't done something like that since TJ was 5 months old and had surgery to put drainage tubes in his ears. Even though the doctors told her it was very common for children to need to have tubes, Y/N had felt the blame was on her. The crying and screaming of TJ being in pain still haunted her dreams. "Post Partum Blues" is what the nurse called them but Y/N felt more than just blue.

Y/N took a big breath and slipped under the water. The only sound she could hear was the slight swooshing of the water past her ears. She opened her eyes and looked at the painted ceiling tiles of her bathroom.

"Y/N?" Sam asked, knocking on the door of the bathroom. He waited a second, hearing if she would respond. He thought it was weird that he didn't hear any music playing, "Y/N?"

Sam knocked on the door a little louder and turned the door slowly, to give her some kind of warning that he was coming in. But with no response, he pushed the door opened and noticed her laying quietly under water.

"Holy shit, Y/N!" Sam yelled and pulled her from under the water. She let out a gasp as she resurfaced and coughed up the water she had inhaled, "What are you doing?"

"I needed to think," Y/N said wiping the water away from her face, "I was fine, Sam,"

"Don't fucking scare me like that," Sam said sternly and Y/N nodded like a little kid, "You're so smart but so dumb at the same time,"

"I know, I've been told," Y/N answered, "Can you, uh, get out so I can get out?"

"Nothing I haven't seen before," Sam said, handing her the pink fluffy towel on the bathroom counter, "Come on, let me help you get ready for bed."

Y/N agreed and took Sam's hand and stood up from the now cold water. Sam wrapped the towel around her body and helped her step out of the tub. Sam dried her off and then walked her into her room. She sat down on the bed as he dug around her dresser to find clothes.

"You think he'll forgive me?"

"Who? Jake? He already has,"

"No, not him," Y/N said and looked at the picture on her beside table, "TJ. Do you think TJ will forgive me?"

-------------------------

taglist: @kiszkawagnerwhore@mgk777 @kgllmre @trashx678 @jakekizskasguitarpick @trplshotofdopamine @tripthelight-fanfic @ohitselliana @raeraybaebay @gretavanfle3t @sarakay-gvf @gretavanfleas @godzillalyz

95 notes · View notes