#personal;

[lesenbyan]

Alright y'all, I hate doing this but my finances are spectacularly fucked.

tl; dr: I am disabled, missing a ton of work, and now, between two accounts, have roughly 5,200 USD to pay back. This doesn't count medical bills. paypal, cashapp, venmo.

tw: mentions of disordered eating

For those who don't know me; hi, I'm Jayden, I have ADHD, Fibromyalgia, EDS, and Bipolar, among others. I'm also a nonbinary aro/ace lesbian in a QPR ( @sezja, gf of 5yrs) and I'm also also half black.

Over the last three or four years my fibro has slowly worsened and I use a crutch more days than I don't and when I'm home I'm about 70-80% bed bound with my roommate taking care of most of what I need whenever possible. I have intermittent absence at work and decreased hours which still leaves me mostly incapable of leaving my bed on my days off and laying down, if not micronapping, most of the day.

Due to this, obviously, I miss a lot of work which means significantly decreased income. I've been living off of store brand meal replacement shakes, pasta, and the generosity of my friends for so long I've been in and out of literally medically starving myself over the last year or so and my hunger signals are fucked which isn't great when I'm already recovering from an eating disorder and am already slightly underweight for my height and frame.

the credit limit on my card is 8k. I would love not to hit it because then I'll have no options left. Reblogs can go a long way even if you can't afford to send anything from your wallet. Help a disabled queer this disability awareness month.

[ID: a credit card statement. The current balance is $320.88 with a minimum payment of $70 due July 11. /end ID]

[ID: overview of my bank accounts. There's low balance alerts on both checking accounts, one with $19.45 the other with $5.16. My savings account has 21¢ and my credit card balance to pay off is $4,913.73. /end ID]

#mutual aid #financial aid #disability awareness month #i have no clue what else are tags people might see this in #queer and disabled #disabled trans #disability aid #personal; #to pin;

[theotherseapancakes]

The fact I injured both my wrists AND got a head cold all at the same time is literally infuriating. I could be drawing any number of my terrible FE AUs right now. I could be drawing Grima I COULD BE WRITING I have no brain and my hands hurt tho... ig this is a note to myself for later it's the year of the dragon. draw dragons (who am i kidding my first piece of art is prolly gonna be goldfonse again)

#personal; #im rly sick y'all. #ksdks #not like BAD sick but #malaise sick. #got no brain.

[bvtbxtch]

Hi Darlings. An update.

I ended up going into anaphylaxis and almost died this weekend :) I am so sorry I have been away, but I am back to writing and Angry Heart should be out as soon as possible!

#carly writes #angry heart #personal; #stranger things #eddie munson ff

[bad-representation1]

It is so important to have friends you can be horny with

#personal; #even- especially- when not actively having sex #just be comfortable talking about sex and fantasies with someone #it's so important

[ladylaguna]

The last few days have been stressful, as I’ve had to assert myself in a way I don’t love to do. With multiple people! And last night I had an interesting dream. My dreams are vivid af and frequently about stressors in my life.

I won’t go into detail (does anyone actually read those?) but to say it featured major players from big conflicts in my life, all meeting up at a convention of all places. And it made me think about who Jenn is and the phases of existence I’ve moved through.

There are three adult ‘Me’s. Before my ex/early adulthood, during my ex/going back to college and transitioning into a new life, and me now, having realized what I need to be content. And current Jenn, at 40, is content with totally different things than she expected going into 30.

This is pretty common with other women my age/older that I’ve talked to. I did a values exercise with my therapist back in 2021 and I need to remember to keep them centered. I highly recommend doing one of these exercises if you find yourself at a crossroads, or feel lost in life. It helps you decide what direction to head in, in order to feel fulfilled as a person!

Despite these ongoing battles this year, I’ve emerged from injury and depression feeling stronger than ever. For now! Progress isn’t linear! We just have to make sure we always keep moving.

#personal; #text post; #forgive me for actually using my blog as a blog #I hope this helps some of you #idk lol 🤪 #old bitch postin

[ofginjxints]

not me having not written smut in a while and not knowing what to call a frickin p*nis without sounding like a fucking twat. pls reply with what u use for it bc I hate myself rn :)

#idk #might delet later #personal;

[cristalthekat]

I need to stop basing my self worth on the attention I get from a man 🤮

#personal; #ramblings;

[mirandaputsherbestbuttforward]

people being loud in the apartment hallway makes me wanna stick my head out from my doorway to be like tf you doin?

#personal; #like ok it's only 5:45pm no big deal but like damn yall what ARE yall doing out there

[until--i--disappear]

I had finally fallen asleep after another night awake. My mother had to come into my room to tell me to wash the dishes (I usually take care of them whenever I can, yesterday I was in a hurry and I couldn't do it) and to make me feel ashamed of my body. I'm too tired to elaborate any comment but I wish I could just drop dead. I'm so tired of her. I'm tired of the fact that I can't reply. I'm tired. It's the third time this week.

I had to get up immediately and do whatever she wanted because at this point there's no use in trying to sleep. I have another appointment with the psychologist in 5 hours and now I'm too nervous to try to fall asleep.

#personal; #toxic mothers #adults with toxic parents

[warrior-wordsmith]

Getting to construct somewhat complex sentences now, things like “I do this but she does that,” “the kids play with the ball in the park”

And I wonder if having had to do sentence diagrams in middle school is helping me grasp these concepts better than I’ve done with the numbers

#irish language #learning irish #gaeilge #duolingo irish #addition; #personal;

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

what is the CHANCE that somebody from nano actually KNEW what a christadelphian was!!

#shooketh #personal;

[lesenbyan]

I keep thinking about Garlean technology versus Eorzean but this time I'm specifically on the medical sciences bc like.

We don't hear it often but Eorzea is still using the 4 humors. They have magical healing so it makes sense their understanding of biology and medicine is stunted (and then you add on the sheer destruction that comes from the calamities that often basically has everyone clawing their way back from literally nothing. I expect we only have so much of Allag left bc they had a tendency to launch shit into the sky.) Like i'm sure there are some scientifically minded people that want/do biology research in Eorzea, but I feel like there are societal rules against, like, autopsies and such much like irl societies have/had. And as far as I know, there is no evidence of surgery in eorzea in canon

On the other hand we see Garlemald and we know surgery exists bc of some of the modifications to bosses (looking at you SB.) We know they must have a comprehensive grasp of medicine to have been half as prosperous as an Empire. We see far too many old garlean men for me to believe it's all luck and genetics. I don't think they rival today's medicine, mind, but I think they know what an antibiotic is, you know?

What i'm saying is, these two practices have their benefits both but I imagine they can also treat completely different things. Like of course there's overlap but imagine Garlean medicine finding the cure to the Creeping Death? They give Eorzea the ability to triage so deep stabbings aren't necessarily fatal bc magic can't close the wound? What about magically assissted surgery? Makes it 100% survival rates bc the boost? What if we marry the two?

#personal; #ffxiv; #idk what to tag this #ffxiv meta; #i guess #this is the idea i'm going with with Aki; she'll eventually head a medical branch of the Ironworks #esp with another branch specifically dedicated to prosthetics both dumb and smart #/gestures vaguely at Roelle #like garleans have trains and cars and highways and shit and we have dirt roads and teleportation #like they're terrible but i think my WWII hyperfixation is shifting to garlemald bc i'm less likely to be called a facist for Deep Diving #for a Videoed Game

[theotherseapancakes]

My anniversary with @cannibal-lesbian is today, so I probably won't be around much. IDK how much progress im going to make writing bc today is art day. I have been Saving my spoons.

#text; #personal; #i AM working on that next ficlet i swear lol

[penandpapertrails]

Staring Into the Abyss

Will I have the courage to stare into the abyss of suffering? Gaze into its darkness with trembling, yet not run away. What will it take to have that kind of strength to know the certainty of pain and sorrow in this life, and yet also believe in the existence of joy and comfort in the midst of it?

I will have to fully surrender and trust in God – in His goodness, faithfulness, mercy, and love – and everything that He is, allowing Him to lead me on a journey where I am not promised to be unscathed, but a promise that there is hope in the end. I’ll have the scars as proof of this hope that never fades – of the One who heals and has made me whole.

In the midst of doubts, chaos, and suffering, my only prayer is that it’ll lead me not into anger nor blaming. Even if I am not satisfied with the answers to the evil and injustice in this world, I’ll be satisfied with the conclusion and certainty of God and who He is.

#personal; #writersoftumblr #original #petitedameoriginal #life #writers on tumblr #writersociety #writerscommunity

[bad-representation1]

It's always such a mixed bag when the weed I use for sleep also makes me Horny

#personal; #not good for napping lemme tell you

[daisyssousa]

@erica-writes-things I got them!! THEY’RE SO CUTE, I LOVE them! They now live on the shelf above my computer! Thank you so much :D

( Erica’s etsy )

#erica-writes-things #personal; #etsy