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persephonesinfernos · 3 years

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fic recs (12th april 2021).

hi babes and welcome to my latest favourite fics I’ve read around tumblr. please, remember to take a look at my fic shelf page where you can find all my time faves.

Branded by @trashmenofmarvel

+18/AU: Life’s not easy when you’re soul-bound to a 100+ year old demon, especially one that’s prickly, grouchy, and as emotionally-sealed as a fortress.

Seeing Red by @mypoisonedvine

+18/AU: Bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself. Except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

Of Arranged Marriages and Unrequited Love by @s-tarksintern

+18/AU: Y/N Stark was always set to marry James Buchanan Barnes as part of a deal made years before her. James and Y/N were stuck together whether they liked and those two seriously didn’t like being stuck together.

Caught in the Fire by @dreamwritesimagines

AU: In a city ruled by gangsters, nothing is ever simple.

Bygone by @borntobewondering

AU: You and Peter get sent back in time, and you fall in love with someone unexpected.

Sugary Sweet by @all1e23

+18/AU: Is it all just sugar or something more?

We’re Fools by @achillieus

AU: For all Bucky Barnes knows, he hates clichés. And this thing between you two, happens to be the biggest one.

Big Brain Energy by @bonkywobble

Exasperated!Bucky x Idiot!Reader.

Speckled by @honeysucklesteve

+18/AU: When your boyfriend dumps you over text you end up at Bucky’s door.

Run Away with Me by @mariaenchanted

+18/AU: Love knows no status. So when Bucky enter your life, you don’t care that he is nothing but someone who fixes cars for your father, you still loved him with everything he got. But he left you carrying with him the promise that you would ran away together. He betrayed your love.Now, after 3 years you are about to marry someone who you don’t love and then Bucky suddenly comes back.

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persephonesinfernos · 3 years

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fic recs (19th april 2021).

hi babes and welcome to my latest favourite fics I’ve read around tumblr. please, remember to take a look at my fic shelf page where you can find all my time faves.

Doolally by @nev3rfound

Bucky is trying to look after you as you return back from having your wisdom teeth removed, but you refuse to make it an easy matter for him.

Let Me Come Home by @buckysho

+18/AU: It’s been almost a decade since you’ve set foot in the place where you grew up. You’ve been so busy building a life for yourself that you’ve seemed to have lost touch with the ones you were once so close with. However, a family wedding brings forth an opportunity to make up for lost time. Do you take it?

Feed, or Fuck? by @caffiend-queen

+18/AU: In which Vampire James Buchanan Barnes presents his captive, his precious doll, with the same choice, over and over.

Deception by @revengingbarnes

+18/AU: When the FBI needs a young, bright officer to go undercover, James Barnes is the perfect choice. Ambitious, intelligent and well-trained, James is the most suitable candidate to pose as a young, clueless addition to the crew operating under the biggest mob boss in NYC. And James will do his best to take his empire down.

I’ve Been Trying Hard Not To Talk To You by @buckthegrump

+18/AU: Y/N hates Bucky Barnes. Absolutely loathes him what makes it worse is that she has to share her office with him. Now with a promotion on the horizon she has to find a way to work with him and not against him.

Your Song by @summergrls

AU: It’s not summer without you. Or, that’s what your favorite rockstar always says. it’s all happening.

Making Omelettes by @that-damn-girl + @thorfanficwriter

AU: As if being the single father of two young girls wasn’t pressure enough, Bucky Barnes has to deal with a wacky brother, Steve, and nosey neighbor, Sam Wilson, trying to run his life. On top of that, he is struggling to get ahead in his high-pressure job as a financial advisor. He has reached his limit, sure he couldn’t possibly handle any more drama in his day-to-day. And that's when you enter the picture, willing Bucky to have the courage to take a chance at finding love.

Better Like This by @simsadventures

+18/AU: You are the newest addition to New York’s elite team of Detectives concentrating on domestic violence and rape, which everyone calls the Avengers. You are an Omega, very bubbly and open to everyone around you, and everyone is super sweet to you, except one person- Bucky, your true mate. Will you be able to destroy the walls he has been building around his heart for years, or will he reject you and break your heart forever?

Stark Hub by @world-of-aus

+18/AU: A collection of one-shots set in an AU world where the boys are porn stars working for stark entertainment.

Evermore by @imaginedreamwrite

+18/AU: There was a sickness, a plague that ripped through every nation in the land. A curse that left very few women able to have children, and as such, there was war over those that could extend the lines of families. New kingdom’s were forged and the rulers of those kingdoms had come to an agreement. There would no more wars, no more battles that would kill more life than the nations could give.Instead, there would be a Lottery.

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persephonesinfernos · 3 years

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Fic Recs (22nd February 2021).

Hi! Welcome to my latest favourite fics. And remember to take a look at my Fic Shelf Page where you can find all of them.

Espresso by @shurisneakers

AU: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Long Way Home by @captainscanadian

AU: “If the doctors don’t fix you, then I’ll become a doctor and I’ll fix you, Bambi.” While Bucky Barnes did not remember the promise he had made almost thirty years ago, he still kept it.

Worst Idea Ever by @firefly-in-darkness

+18/AU: Wedding Season is brutal as it is but throw in two friends that decide to be each other’s plus ones and a mixed bag of feelings, what’s the worst that could happen?

Almost Had Me Believing It by @tuiccim

+18: An undercover operation playing Bucky Barnes' wife is a dream come true. Playing house in the suburbs while trying to take down a drug ring brings you and Bucky closer but a nosy neighbor causes trouble in paradise.

The Number One Rule by @justkending

AU: Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor's degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left, but don’t worry the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other's buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized.

Itchy Sweaters by @sheeple

AU: For the people who think arranged marriages are something happening in the last century, are very wrong. They still happen. More low-key, but are still very prominent in the upper class. That's how two people who would never meet, get thrown together in the deep end.

Where the Good Goes by @whitestarbucky

+18/AU: Brooklyn Memorial Hospital held the highest reputation in the tri-state area. It was your start to a life that was laid out for you since birth. And yet, there was one factor that you didn’t count on. That handsome, tattooed stranger you met and slept with? He’s everywhere.

In the Dark by @waiting4inspiration

+18/AU: The war between two vampires and werewolves brings an arranged marriage you don’t want and an encounter with the opposition that takes you off guard. What you don’t expect having the same feelings as the vampire at war with your kind.

Let Me Come Home by @buckysho

+18/AU: It’s been almost a decade since you’ve set foot in the place where you grew up. You’ve been busy building a life for yourself that you’ve seemed to have lost touch with the ones you were once close with. However, a family wedding brings forth an opportunity to make up for lost time. Do you take it?

Cobra Snake Necktie by @moteldwelling

+18/AU: Bucky Barnes is a magnet for danger, bad karma, and pretty woman. A motorcycle crash lands him in reader’s ER, and it looks like he might have just found himself a new game of high-stakes chase. Only question is, who really is the blue eyed vagabond, and what could he possibly be hiding?

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persephonesinfernos · 3 years

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ignoti nulla cupido | part eight.

summary: natasha finds you once again to be able to keep her an tony’s promise to keep you safe, but how would they react when they’ll learn about the little dirty secret you have been keeping since you left bucky’s side?

word count: 1128.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader.

warnings: angst, and bucky being a dickhead.

author’s note: I’m sorry but I hate bucky, it doesn’t matter if I write him like this, I hate him. and please, please, do not hate me.

ignoti nulla cupido series | taglist | masterlist.

“A kid?” Steve asked astonished.

“Yes, Cap. A kid, a little human being.”

Suddenly the whole room erupted in noises, everyone was asking questions about the revelation. Every single one of the Avengers wanted to know the name of the boy, his age, who was his father, why HYDRA took him, why (Y/N) didn’t tell anyone about him, etc.

Everyone was stating their opinion on the mater but Bucky, Bucky remained sited in a dazing state. Not a single movement was perceived by Natasha that was solely focused on the father, little did he truly know about (Y/N)’s son.

“Okay, that’s it,” Tony’s voiced was heard loudly over the murmuring. “Romanoff, why didn’t you tell me about this? Knowing about the kid would’ve made things much easier all this time.” The billionaire was clearly fed up with the present issue.

“Because Tony, I didn’t know,” the redhead spat back tired of Tony’s shit. “I didn’t even know until a few days before I went for her, until it was probably too late,” her hands up in the air, signalling her frustration. “Don’t you think I would’ve love to know that my best friend was pregnant? To be with her during the pregnancy, during the whole thing? She did it all by herself Stark,” Romanoff’s orbs stayed focus on Tony, but she was still very aware of Barnes’ movements. “Besides, it was not my secret to tell, not my confession to make. If she didn’t it was because of something and I always have trusted her judgment.”

Bucky stood up abruptly, his chair falling behind. Every single pair of eyes darted to him, however, nobody said anything as he walked out.

“Where are you going Buck?”

“Steve, I just… I just need to know,” a distraught whisper was all Steve could make out of his friend.

“Let her be, maybe you don’t like what she has to say.”

“I don’t care anymore.” With that, James Buchanan Barnes left, ready to discover what was truly going on with her former lover.

(Y/N) was pacing around her room, she knew she told Nat to tell her big secret – most of it, at least. The team deserved to know if they’re going to help her out on this, but did she make the right choice? Maybe it was her who should’ve let everyone in her secret, maybe she should’ve of talk to Bucky first.

An ear-piercing bang startled her, turning around as she pointed her gun at whoever dared to walk in there without her permission. A blank pair of blue orbs staring right through her, her soul ripping apart at the sight.

“A child (Y/N)?” Barnes’ voice was calmed down but his heart, his heart was beating so loudly he was afraid it would break through his thoracic cage.

(Y/N) was still pointing her gun towards him, too afraid to even breathe. This was the moment she dreaded for the past three years, all the things she had thought of saying to his father’s son at some point evaporated from her mind.

“What do you want Barnes?” She blurted out.

“By starts, to not being pointed with a gun. Secondly, I want to know.” Bucky’s eyes began to look everywhere in hopes of a sign. A sign that he was doing the right thing, that what his instincts were screaming to him was wrong.

“I don’t have anything to tell you. You were crystal clear last time we were standing in front of each other, do you remember it? ‘Cause that last time is still my worst nightmare James.” Just speaking out his name broke more of her soul, not anymore was the name of the love of her life, but also the name of the child he fathered and now was at the claws of the same people that made Bucky’s life a living hell.

“(Y/N)….” He spoke softly, his feet stumbling to her in caution but something made him stop dead in his tracks. An image on an Ipad, a picture of a little kid with striking ice blue eyes, sharp jaw and short brown hair that was cut oddly familiar to a past life.

(Y/N) noticed what was going on but she was too afraid to try anything, she just stood still and watched how Bucky’s face changed from sorrow to realization, realization about your little boy, about his boy.

“Is that him?” Bucky’s voice was just a whisper, his fingers tracing the screen.

Taking a deep sight (Y/N) decided to tell the truth, nothing could be more broken. “Yes, name’s James. A shy three-year old that doesn’t need to blurt out a word, just the way he looks at you is enough to know what’s in his mind,” (Y/N) approached Bucky’s slowly, she was behind him now and even though Bucky didn’t budge when she placed her hands on his shoulders, she could sense the storming coming. “Just like his father” (Y/N) spoke, tears running freely down her cheeks.

Bucky snapped out, turning furiously to (Y/N) “He’s my son and you didn’t think I deserved to know? To know I had a kid.”

He towered over her, making (Y/N) feel terror at how his metal fist clenched in his side.

“You told me to get the fuck out of your life, that you didn’t care anymore about shit that happened to me or that will happen. That I was a demanding bitch.” (Y/N) chocked out, not looking at his eyes.

“You gave birth to my fucking son (Y/N), and now Hydra took him because you weren’t able to protect him.” She was sure that by now, someone had heard all the noise coming out of her bedroom even thou Bucky’s words were a mere whisper.

“I wasn’t able to be there, to watch him grow, to protect him because of you and your fucking insecurities and fear.” He was now inches away from her face, his metal hand grabbing (Y/N)’s wrist so tightly she was sure there were going to be bruises on it tomorrow morning.

(Y/N) tried to say something but it was like she was paralyzed, the only thing she was able to do was to watch the cold demeanour of the person she still loved and hated equally.

“This is on you (Y/N). Whatever happens to him is on you, just pray that we will get to him in time.” Bucky said voidly now, it felt like the Winter Soldier was the one standing in front of you.

He let go of (Y/N), her back hitting the wall behind her. As Bucky was about to cross the threshold, he stopped and without glazing her way he spoke “I’m getting a lawyer, as it is clear that you can’t be responsible for my child.”

forever taglist: @everythingisbeautifulposts | @rogersparkerbarnes |

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persephonesinfernos · 3 years

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ignoti nulla cupido | part twelve.

word count: 1185.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader.

warnings: just a bit of a cliffhnager.

author’s note: action starts now, be prepared! and btw, chace is back for all of those who fell in love with him!

ignoti nulla cupido series | taglist | masterlist.

The car came to an abrupt stop in the middle of nowhere, or at least that was all (Y/N) could see; a vast large open area with nothing, not even life was anywhere to be seen. It was a dessert, cracks were seen in the dry soil and she thought that HYDRA couldn’t place its base in a more proper place.

“This is the place according to my intel (Y/N),” Chace spoke softly looking at her eyes.

“Okay, lead the way,” she firmly said as she geared up, every possible weapon was now stuck in her combat suit. It’s been too long since she last wore it and she had hoped she would never have to wear it again but the circumstances never felt more right to do so.

With a nod and a grip to her shoulder, Chace started to move carefully around the field, gun pointed forward in case someone decided to make an appearance.

She followed him, the silence that had settled among them provided the calmness and safety she needed at the moment before the battle, because it was going to be one hell of a battle, she was sure of it.

They came to an arrangement or rocks, they were not out of place but for the training eye, they felt suspicious as if they were placed there carefully to keep some secret hidden, the entrance to a HYDRA base for example.

“This is it (Y/N), are you sure you want to do this?” Chace searched in her eyes for a signal that this was wrong, that maybe she wanted or needed the help of someone else to do it.

“Yes. This is it, we’re getting James back today,” her voice was firm and void, something he had never heard since the night she escaped from the Avengers.

Moving the rocks aside Chace let her get in first, he knew her like the palm of his hand and he could feel her eagerness to deal with it and go back to a normal life, he could feel her anger boiling as any mass of water around her would turn into vapour and he couldn’t help to start thinking that maybe this was a bad idea.

The halls were all silent and empty and both of them knew that this wasn’t something desirable, that it meant that the greater danger would be unified in a room in which many lives will be lost, probably theirs too.

Lights were flickering from the ceiling charging the aura around them with terror and hopelessness, metal doors were closed and other halls were blocked as if whatever was in there knew they were coming, as they were being led to the point of no return.

Finally, they reached heavy and big gates but before (Y/N) could reach them, she felt a presence in her shoulders and she knew it was Chace but this time it didn’t feel like a comforting gesture, this time it felt like a warning.

She sighed heavenly, she didn’t have time for this as James could be possible be dead or worse behind those doors.

“I know what you’re feeling (Y/N/N) but maybe we should call them, not he but the others. This doesn’t look or feel good and you know it too.”

Before she could reply, a piercing scream was cursing through her mind making her, reaching to her ears in hopes she could block the sound but it was to no avail.

“What it is? What it is (Y/N)?” Chace screamed to her as he kneeled down so he could be at the same level as her. But (Y/N) couldn’t respond, the sound in her head was making everything blurred – she didn’t notice she started crying or the thick liquid that was coating her hands, she only could hear that ripping scream in her mind that had started to make some sense.

Chace saw the panic in her eyes, saw how the blood was impregnating her hands and face and how she was fighting to utter some words but nothing came from her mouth, only whimpers.

When she felt she would pass out from the pain she deciphered the sound, she figured out what was that screaming; it was a crying for help, it was James crying for her to get him, to save him.

Suddenly everything went quiet again and (Y/N) was again aware of her surroundings, she became aware of the salt taste fixed in her lips and how the blood that came from her ears were now everywhere in her face.

Wasting no time she got up and charged for the gates as she whispered one name as a mantra, as a way to keep her grounded to reality, James.

Chance understood what was going on and helped her in her task of opening the doors, finally being able to open them and to peer at what’s inside of the room, a little boy seated down and tied to a chair, gaze void of any emotion.

Before he could realize what was happening, before he could stop her, before anything he saw how (Y/N) made a run for him.

She was in front of his boy, trying to break him off of whatever spell he was under, untying him and holding tightly into her arms as she whispered soft words to him.

“I see you finally came and what a surprise this is it, Chace Turner,” a low voice spoke as a man came out of the shadows.

“What did you do to him?”

“Well, you see Turner. I don’t think that’s none of your business because you are not the father and as much I would like to stay I think it’s not gonna happen,” he moved slowly through the room, as a predator ready to jump for its prey and (Y/N) realized that it was the same man that took James away from him.

“I wouldn’t dare to move one more inch,” her voice was broken but it didn’t matter, James was there and she was going to kill that man.

He laughed, a devil laughed that made (Y/N)’s blood freeze. “Doll, doll, doll…. I was hoping daddy would come with you to this one but what can I say? He’ll come sooner or later so it’s not a big problem.”

A large group of men appeared behind Chace giving him no reaction time as they dragged him out, sounds of firing guns echoed through the room they were in and (Y/N) turned to James, grabbing his little hand and pulling him away so they could flee but the boy didn’t move and she started to panicked.

“James, c’mon little monkey. We need to go, we need to go back home” tears were blurring her sight as she shook his child hoping any reaction would follow.

He finally fixed his blue eyes in her, his hand reaching to her cheek and (Y/N) couldn’t help but lean to the touch but she noticed the void in his eyes as he spoke to her for the first time in weeks.

“Who is James? Who are you?”

forever taglist: @everythingisbeautifulposts | @rogersparkerbarnes | @saltywolfzombie | @millennial-teenybopper |

bucky barnes fics taglist: @cruelsummer-s |

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persephonesinfernos · 3 years

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ignoti nulla cupido | part seven.

word count: 904.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader.

warnings: angst, angst, angst and heavy use of alcohol for coping pourpuses.

author’s note: and here we are, everything ready to implode.

ignoti nulla cupido series | taglist | masterlist.

For the next following days, everything went back to normal – or as normal as it could, given the previous events.

(Y/N) was still healing, her body immersed in a glass tube that contained cold water at every minute of every day but nobody except for Natasha, Tony and Bruce were allowed to get inside the room where (Y/N) was. It felt as if she was a princess, sleeping and waiting to be awakened by some prince.

Bucky spent most of his days back at the training room or at the glass that allowed him to see into (Y/N)’s room. Often Steven would just keep him company while the former assassin stared into the room, not even speaking.

Bucky just stared, millions of thoughts running wild in his mind. What happened to her? Where was her during all these years? What was she sorry for? Did she leave someone behind, a family? Has she forgotten about us? Is this my fault? This is my fault, if I hadn’t pushed her because of my fucking mistakes. God, what I’m going to do if she just doesn’t wake up again?

Every time his sapphire orbs got watered, every time his fists clenched tightly to the bar outside (Y/N)’s room. And every time he ended up walking away from her, grabbing a bottle of whisky and going to the gym. That was his routine, what he did and nobody nor anything could change it.

It didn’t matter that Steve would argue with Tony and Natasha almost every day about why he was not allowed to get to see (Y/N) or how he wasn’t informed about Nat’s mission or where she’s been for the last three years. It didn’t matter that the whole team would pitty him, or that they tried to make him feel better.

When (Y/N) woke up for the second time he was not behind the glass, he was too drunk to even walk into the training room. He didn’t let Steve help him when he came to break the good news, he was incapable to stand up and do anything. So he did lay there crying his ass off for her, for them, for him to be not able to be by her side and hold her as he listened to her beautiful voice.

After that, (Y/N) was moved to another room, a private one. She asked Natasha to not let Bucky come closer, to not step in. She was not ready to face him, to face her past and future.

The next thing Bucky knew was that everyone was around a table in the briefing room, everyone but her. Since she woke up none saw her and it only broke Bucky’s heart in more little pieces if possible, he knew this was his punishment and he had yet to accept the fact she might not love him anymore.

Natasha and Tony stoop up in front of everyone, both extremely anxious.

“It’s time we talk. We need you guys to catch up with (Y/N)’s situation,” Tony spoke softly, not daring to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“She left the life three years ago as you know. What you don’t know is that before she left for good she asked Tony and me to erase her from everywhere. To give her a fresh and clean start,” Natasha continued.

“We did as best as we could, she went away. She lived in a little town where she worked as a baker and that was how much we knew. She only communicated with Romanoff, once a week.”

“That was our only condition. We promised to keep her safe and out of this world in exchange for her to let us know she was okay.” Natasha sighed, eyes searching for Bucky’s blue ones. “I can carry on from here Tony”.

“I went for her, I couldn’t keep her safe if she was not with me in these circumstances” The redhead spoke softly, still holding Bucky’s gaze as a silent pleading for not doing anything stupid.

“When I got there I made contact. We met up, I asked her to come with me” Nat sighed and let out a chuckled. “She didn’t want to, she’s the most stubborn person in this world. But I changed her mind at the end”.

So? We all know this, tell me something I don’t know Romanoff. Bucky thought, eager in his seat to learn what was behind so much secrecy.

“I thought that the cabin was a safe and secret location, Tony was sure of it. He checked it two hours prior to our arrival. The attack was out of the blue, I didn’t expect it and (Y/N) didn’t expect it either. But she was not the target.”

All of the Avengers held still, this was something nobody could’ve foreseen. And Bucky felt how his left hand ran through his now shorter hair.

“What’re you talking about Romanoff?” Steve whispered as he was afraid to burst the secret and splash everyone with pain and sadness.

Natasha took a deep breath with her eyes closed and when she re-opened them, her stare was fixated on Bucky: how his body was all tensed up, how his expression was one that held nothing but regret, hope and apprehension.

“HYDRA wanted something else from (Y/N)” Nat noticed how Bucky almost stood up from his chair, his eyes shut down. “There was someone else with us, a kid. (Y/N)’s son”.

forever taglist: @everythingisbeautifulposts | @rogersparkerbarnes |

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persephonesinfernos · 3 years

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ignoti nulla cupido | part thirteen.

word count: 778.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader.

warnings: nope.

author’s note: feedback is always appreciated!

ignoti nulla cupido series | taglist | masterlist.

Weeks were gone without any sign that Turner or (Y/N) were alive, that both of them got to HYDRA and saved little James. Nothing, just a dead silence that was eating alive every one of the Avengers. To say they haven’t been working their butts off was a total misunderstanding, their little secret base was fully alive 24/7 but still nothing, dead silence in each of their radars.

A dead silence that was driving Bucky mad, that was bringing him to a dark place that was abandoned years ago when he met her. A place where self-doubt and darkness were the main dishes in the daily menu that was Bucky Barnes’ life.

Weeks went by and finally, some intel stood up among all those pieces of information that only led to dead-ends, something that made Bucky’s heart to fluster with worry and happiness, a bittersweet taste in his lips.

He couldn’t remember much about how it went down, all was a distorted memory in his mind: how the whole team suited up, how they went to the quinjet as an only organism ready to do whatever it took, how Steve was always by his side or how Natasha looked more worry and afraid than other time before.

But what he remembered crystal clear and would be sealed forever in his brain was the image of Chace Turner tied up in a tree in the middle of nowhere; body a bloody mess of scars and open wounds, face so beat up that his eyes weren’t able to open up when he heard the voice of the team approaching them.

However, that was not the worst of all, what shook more Bucky was the Ipad set at his feet; (Y/N) seated in an oddly familiar chair, a piece of cloth in her mouth and another one covering her eyes after that, the image went black and letters were displayed in the screen.

You want your family? Come find them soldat.

When Turner was able to talk again Bucky was there, Bucky was there when he explained what happened, how HYDRA set a trap for both of them, how he barely made it out alive and how he didn’t know what happened to (Y/N) or Jay.

He thought he could kill him on the spot but he didn’t, he realized his anger was not direct towards Turner but himself, he knew he was the only guilty one in that play and he had to make the next move if he wanted to be the man she fell in love with.

Consequently, he did the only thing he could’ve done, he locked himself in the tech room, he went through everything they had on HYDRA, on (Y/N), on anyone all over again until something caught his eye and he knew, he knew that this time he would not miss.

After that, he wasted no time: he geared up, he made sure nobody would discover his true intentions because this was a war he needed to fight on his own. He was not only fighting for her, for his son but for himself, for some sort of redemption that may not come from her lips.

In the darkest hours of the night he departed, his old motorbike would take him to his destination in the middle of a desert, a desert that held the only thing that could make his soul revive again, the place that held the light of his life.

His gun was held up when he stepped in the base, he felt how The Winter Soldier persona was brought alive with each step he took, with every fallen man at his feet but it didn’t matter, HYDRA was done taking things from him and if The Winter Soldier was what needed to be to preserve the warmth in his heart he was more than okay with it.

And there she was, not a single scratch in her soft and pale skin and Bucky felt how all the breath escape his lungs when her eyes were fixated in his.

“You shouldn’t have come James” her voice was a mere whisper full of terror.

“I’m done running away doll, we end this tonight” his hands placed in her jaw, the touch made her to close her eyes as tears fell from her eyes.

The last thing he was able to feel was how his lungs were flooding, how his mouth began to spit water and he learnt that it was her doing when the lips he had missed so much were pressed against his preventing him to breathe in.

bucky barnes fics taglist: @cruelsummer-s | @ambria | @torchwoodoctor |

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persephonesinfernos · 3 years

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ignoti nulla cupido | part fifteen.

word count: 752.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader.

warnings: angst, IMPLICIT rape and abusive sexual behaviour.

author’s note: this story is approaching to the end, so prepare yourselves!

ignoti nulla cupido series | taglist | masterlist.

All Bucky could do was holding her shivering form in his arms, pressing her body to his to give her some sort of comfort he knew she wouldn’t have until both of them will get back to the team with Jay safe and sound.

Even in her sleeping, her body continued quivering after the events that had happened just a few hours ago. Her body still smelt like sex and blood, a combination that just infuriated Barnes every time he set his eyes on the scars along her pale face and the already formed bruises along her thighs and neck.

They just tossed her away back to the cell once they were done with her, naked and motionless. And all the minutes that went by until the hold in Bucky set him free and he could reach to her felt like hours, watching her lied there trying not to cry and be strong.

Now, (Y/N)’s body was in his hold once again as his t-shirt covered her dirty skin and the tears that Bucky refused to let go when she was awake hit him with all the heaviness of his past acts and the mistakes that led them to that moment.

As the tears mixed with the dry ones in her face, Bucky couldn’t help to pull away the rebel strands of hair in her face so he could memorize her features once again; how her hair was shorter now than when she left, the little wrinkles around her eyes and the freckles along her jaw.

He tried to memorize every single detail in her skin, from the ones he could remember to the new ones that had formed over the last three years. Bucky memorized them while making up stories about how she got that little scar in her wrist or the burn mark in her right elbow, all of them involved Jay and a stupid situation in which he would try to help her cook or a playground and much enthusiasm from his son.

Sorrow invaded his heart as he thought about all those scenarios, about how normal they were, how far from the monster he fought every day to make the world a safer place and how he would have given up saving the world if that meant he could’ve been included in any of those scenes of normality and domesticity.

However, he couldn’t go back to the beginning, he couldn’t go back and try to fix his mistakes so he could have what he’d always wanted and a long-forgotten saying resurfaced from the depths of oblivion, Ignoti Nulla Cupido.

He had heard the Latin saying some years back, from the same lips that were now broken and purple when he told her for the first time about what exploded in his chest whenever she laughed and looked to the ground so nobody could see the crimson in her cheeks. Bucky remembered clearly the disbelief written across her face and the scolding tone in her voice when she told him he was a helpless dreamer, that he didn’t know anything about her to feel that way towards her and how you can’t crave something you don’t know before leaving him standing alone at the tower’s gym.

She was right, you can’t desire something you don’t know but he couldn’t help to feel that way around her since the very first day his eyes met hers. Since that day he wondered what would be to be the one she held, the one she loved every night and morning and when he got it… He lost it as soon as the written words in the sand disappeared because of the ocean, that was the way he lost her.

Ignoti Nulla Cupido, the words came back once again to him to mock him as he looked around the cell in which they were placed. Yes, the words kept teasing him because he had yearned everything about her without knowing that he already had it, without really knowing.

The grotesque situation made him laughed, he laughed so hard he could’ve sworn he was gonna pass out from oxygen deprivation.

Whipping his tears away, his gaze returned to her face and as he was about to tell her how wrong she was all those years ago, how one can desire what they don’t know, a soft childish voice startled him.

“You’re very important to her,” a pair of greyish blue orbs now locked in Bucky’s. “I’ve seen it in her mind, who are you?”.

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persephonesinfernos · 3 years

Text

ignoti nulla cupido | part one.

word count: 717.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader.

ignoti nulla cupido series | masterlist.

It’s been a few years since (Y/N) left the Avengers HQ, also meaning she left Bucky behind. She could still remember the last time (Y/N) saw him, he was so angry and sad and both her screaming and his could still make her wake up in the middle of the night up to this time.

That fight, she couldn’t understand what was it about or how she and Bucky ended up in that place but it happened and once it was over, too many things were said that couldn’t be taken back. Feelings were hurt, hearts were broken and hits were taken.

(Y/N) just decided to leave it all behind, head back to her normal and plain life. Being in that tower made her heart ached with sorrow every time she caught his scent or walked nearby to where he was, so she just left. Left every piece of her life behind, Tony and Nat the only ones that knew about (Y/N)’s departure, promising her that they’d made everything in their power to keep her hidden and safe from anyone, including the other Avengers.

She’s been keeping in touch with both of them, especially with Nat, both females were very closed during her time with the Avengers so when she asked (Y/N) to meet up urgently, she couldn’t say no.

But seeing her back after 3 years was not what was making (Y/N) nervous, it was her dirty little secret – one she’s been keeping since a few weeks after her departure. (Y/N) knew that she would notice the subtle tell-alls of keeping something from her, (Y/N) was so screwed.

Approaching the dinner the two were going to meet, (Y/N) could feel the clear signs of her anxiety; heart rapidly beating, sweat starting to form on her forehead, mouth dry. But, there she was, her red hair in full display for (Y/N), she was always a beauty. She slid into the front seat in the private booth and drawing a breath (Y/N) looked up to her.

“So, what it’s going on that you need to see me after all these years?” (Y/N) smiled at Natasha.

“Looking good (Y/N), I’ve missed that resting bitch face of yours” Brow quirking at her. “How’s normal and plain life treating you? Not missing our missions at all?”

“Nope, I’ve got other things to keep me excited about life”

Nat straightened up, looking directly at her (E/C) eyes. At that moment, she knew that Natasha Romanov was going to go for it, straight to the point. “Like a three-year-old?”

(Y/N) almost chocked down on her water, she was expecting anything but that. How could she know? She was sure to keep him under the radar, even from people like the Avengers.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about” (Y/N) said trying to act nonchalantly, but she shot her a glare and (Y/N) just gave in.

“Look Nat, it’s…. I found out a few weeks later after I’ve already left. My location was a secret, I was established in this town, I’ve already got a job…”

“(Y/N)… A child, a child is something important and you just happened to not mentioned it to me or Tony? We’ve been keeping you safe for all this time and knowing a child was there too would have made us do some changes in your security.” She started to sound exasperated.

“I was afraid, okay?” (Y/N) let out a groan. “You don’t understand it Nat, I couldn’t do anything, I was so fucking afraid of it. I was afraid of not being a good mom and what others would think if I came clean.”

“(Y/N)….” She whispered softly, placing both of their hands together. “Things have been happening lately with the Avengers and it only took me a few minutes to figure it out, so if I could, anyone could in any moment. This is not safe anymore.”

“Nope, I’m not leaving here. I can protect myself and James.”

Nat ran her hand through her hair, eyes showing concern for (Y/N). “Does he…. Does he know about it? About his child?”

“He said before I left that nothing ever involving me was his problem anymore, to just stay the fuck out of his life for good. So no, he does not.”

“Well, it’s time for him to know.”

ignoti nulla cupido taglist: @vicmc624 |

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