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inklessletter · 9 months

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Maybe then, Maybe there

Pairing: steddie

CW: 3.2k

TW: angst and hurt, not talking about feelings, pining, kissing, period typical and internalized homophobia, trauma, possibly multichapter

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“Alright, then. Let’s swim.”

Eddie Munson had always been careful. He had to learn to anticipate every possible scenario so he could react, so he could protect himself. Sometimes that habit made his mind a wasteland, a dangerous place to stay for a long time. But it was necessary, if he didn't want to end up beaten, crushed and shattered, like the time he forced himself not to think of every now and then.

Eddie Munson had to learn to control his life in a way that no other boy his age had to. He was loud and obnoxious, a carefully designed persona to keep everybody away, and it has worked so far. Even if he had failed twice to graduate, he had friends with a purpose. He always had, and he always acknowledged what every single person around him wanted to get from him.

The band members needed a solo guitar and someone to scream his lungs out at the microphone every week. The kids from Hellfire expected him to entertain them with D&D campaigns. Rick needed him to sell to a specific group of people he couldn’t really reach regularly.

It was lonely sometimes, being a mastermind. But it was safe. And he would take safe over lonely every single fucking day of the year.

Yeah, he would. He craved a surprise free life, and after spring break, a portal to hell and a witch hunt from his whole home town, it was a mandatory requirement. A ground rule. No surprises.

And he tried, he tried so goddamn hard to keep working on anticipating everyone’s movements. He absolutely wanted to know, to decipher their means, because after all the shit they’ve been through, why on earth would that bunch of people want to keep being in touch with him? His circumstances made them go through hell; he still couldn’t bear to look at Henderson straight in the eye for more than three seconds, just because he knows what he made that kid go through. He clinically died on his arms, he scarred him for life. The fact that the kid kept showing up every day at the government hospital blew his mind.

He couldn’t anticipate that. Eddie didn’t know what to do with that. He also didn’t know what to do with the fact that along with Dustin Henderson, the rest of the gang were there, visiting him, treating him like he wasn’t the cause of the worst distress of their lives. They worried about him, asked him about his recovery and the scars of the wounds, they brought him gifts and treats, and he even got to know new kids, like Will Byers that Mike couldn’t stop talking about, or his girlfriend El, the superpowered girl. And they were all friendly with him.

What was Eddie supposed to do with that, huh?

What did those people want from him? He had absolutely nothing to give them.

He even tried to apologize to them, maybe that was what they wanted, an apology. But they all looked at him like it was insane (Henderson told that he was actually nuts) and kept coming back.

It took Eddie a few weeks to know that his life now was entirely different and he had to adjust to not being able to anticipate what those people wanted from him. It wasn’t until he heard Buckley talking to Nancy about him and addressing Eddie as “their friend” that he understood that maybe this whole situation had completely destroyed his carefully constructed wall between him and the world, because he had now friends, apparently.

Trying to get a hold of the kids was easy, he just had to organize D&D campaigns again and they would be all his minions again. He could give them something worthy of their times, and that could grant him a glimpse of the control he had lost with all this fuckery. That made him feel less… lost. Safer, in a way.

But then they started inviting him to movie nights, and birthday parties, and they even brought him presents and made him a small surprise party on his birthday (they learned about his birthday being on June 23rd because Erica just looked at his file when he was at the hospital).

It was—it was madness. He took a deep breath, and came to terms with him not having a fucking clue about how to anticipate to that group (exactly when he was blowing the candles of the birthday that Erica and Dustin had baked for him) and just went with it.

And here he was, a random night of August 1986 sitting on Steve Harrington’s car hood at the quarry, talking with him and actually realizing that he had been stupid enough to actually “go with it” a little bit too much.

Being friends with Steve was the most surprising thing of all. See, he didn’t play D&D, he hasn’t smoked weed in four years, he did no drugs (not that he had any on him, now that he wasn’t dealing anymore) they had nothing in common. Steve was fire and Eddie was water. They were—they were supposed to be incompatible. Steve liked sports and Eddie could only run twice in his life when his actual life was in danger. Eddie read fantasy books and Steve hasn’t picked one up since high school. Steve was a morning person, for fuck’s sake.

Steve was the sun and Eddie was the moon. They were not supposed to meet. Ever.

But he was easy to talk to, and he was responsible and loving with the kids, and he had the funniest look on his face when he rolled his eyes at Dustin’s remarks until the back of his skull. When he was with Buckley those two were an unstoppable team, Eddie could swear that they melted and fused into one single hive mind because the way they acted, god, that could be just one person. Their friendship was something to behold with utmost joy. Steve was also a bit bitchy, and Eddie found himself loving that. He learned to read Steve’s judgy face, and what came after was always worthy of his time. The man was witty.

But he was also kind and giving. Maybe his gossiping skills kept him on the loop of every detail of Eddie’s life, or maybe he was just a good listener, but Steve kept asking Eddie about things he mentioned like, two weeks ago, and Eddie was impressed that he remembered. No one, besides Wayne, has ever paid that much attention to what he had to say.

Eddie was stupid enough to actually want more from that. They started hanging out, and sharing things. Steve gave Eddie the opportunity to laugh at him when he shared stuff about his childhood, but Eddie didn’t laugh. He just shared things in return.

Later he would analyze the fact that he really didn’t want to laugh at Steve, because he wanted him to keep looking at Eddie in the eye, and he did that more and more when he found that Eddie didn’t really mock him for what happened to him, or what he wanted to do with his life. The result of that analysis had Eddie’s head spinning for days.

He was falling in love with Steve, and at this point he didn’t know how to stop it.

Whatever was left of his stupid persona was gone now, and he was utterly fucked, because he realized that he didn’t want to stop hanging out with him, even if it led to his heart to be destroyed. He wanted him.

Eddie wanted the heartbreak, but also wanted Steve’s smiles, and stories, and bitchiness.

Night car rides were a thing now, and there they were, under a full moon, after Eddie just shared with him yet another silly piece of information of his childhood (that he didn’t know how to swim and the fact that he dove through Lover’s Lake was pure intuition and he would not know how to do that again). Steve had hopped off the hood and was lending Eddie a hand.

“Alright then, let’s swim.”

“Didn’t you hear the part in which I told you that I don’t know how to?” Eddie said, rolling his eyes.

“I’ll teach you,” Steve insisted, with a wicked smile on his face while he danced his fingers, urging Eddie to take his hand.

“I’m not a good student,” Eddie said, smile forming on his lips. Oh, he was so going to end up in that stupid lake, wasn’t he?

“Then I’ll get you, you won’t drown, I swear.”

Eddie looked at him in silence, and then at his hand, he took it, but didn’t leave the car. He spoke softly.

“I don’t have any swimming trunks,” Eddie said, as his last retort.

“Neither do I,” Steve said through his smirk.

“Are you suggesting skinny dipping?”

Steve burst in laughter, but Eddie actually stood next to him, hand in hand.

“No, you are,” Steve said. “I was going to keep my underwear on, but if you’re so eager to spice this up, then, yeah. Totally naked.”

Steve was fucking unreadable. Why did a straight jock, boring young man that wanted everything missionary, and a house with a wife and half a soccer team of kids happen to be so hard to foresee?

What did Eddie miss about him? And why the fuck was he already taking his shirt off?

Before they both could know it (and Eddie was blaming the blank canvas that his mind was now that he apparently decided to let himself go, carefree and dangerous) they were at the shore of the quarry in nothing else but their boxers. Steve didn’t hesitate, and he walked into the water.

“Come on man, it’s warm.”

“What if there are—uh—things? Actually, Harrington, how the fuck are you not shitting your pants at the idea of swimming in another lake at night after what happened to you?” Eddie asked, ranted, really, but he was already getting into the water.

He observed Steve, that he was already chest deep. He really observed him.

Steve was—god, he was beautiful. Scarred in his stomach and his back, his pinkish, healing wounds were visible under the full moon. He looked like he was made of silver and it felt wrong in Eddie’s mind because Steve’s color was gold, not silver. Eddie saw him run his wet hands through his hair, combing it back, and, yeah, yes, he was something else.

He was the kind of something else that he wouldn’t have dared to dream of, the kind of something else that made him force himself to look away every single time they were showering after PE, or dressing in the locker room. Steve was the kind of something else that Eddie could not have, and looking at him with want was nothing but hurtful.

Steve turned around and looked Eddie in the eye. He smiled briefly and then he sank under the surface, and Eddie panicked. When he came back a couple of seconds later, Eddie felt himself like he could breathe again.

“Dude! Not. Cool!” Eddie said with a hand on his chest, worrying expression on his face.

Steve laughed, honest, bright.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry, man. My bad,” Steve said, bubbly, light hearted.

Eddie rolled his eyes at him and looked away for a second, trying to recompose. When he looked back at Steve, he—he was staring at Eddie.

Eddie saw Steve’s eyes roaming through his chest and he suddenly felt hyper aware of his own looks, scarred and broken, tattoos destroyed, meaningless ink of what once was a cool design. Designs that were made to reinforce the persona that was no longer with him, also broken and scarred. Eddie swallowed around nothing when he realized that it was such a poetic parallel.

In an impulse to stop the staring, Eddie came closer, sinking until his chin, in front of Steve. The younger man didn’t even bother to pretend that he wasn’t staring, and looked at Eddie’s face when they were next to each other.

“Do they give you hell? The—uh, the scars. Do they still hurt?”

Eddie didn’t know why Steve was suddenly whispering. The slick, wet skin on his face, on the tip of his nose, on his cupid arch, were gleaming under the moonlight. Eddie followed the light, and it was a mistake. He looked back at Steve’s eyes when he answered.

“Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes they hurt.”

“Mine too.”

Eddie studied his face.

“Do you—do you think that he—”

“No,” Steve said quickly. “No, it’s over. He’s dead. I think they hurt because they’re still healing and nothing more.”

Eddie looked away.

“You’re safe.”

And there it was. The hurt.

He didn’t need to be told that before. Steve telling him that he was safe was a reminder that he had no control over anything.

“How do you know?” Eddie asked, also whispering. He saw Steve struggling to reply to that, and before Steve could read that question differently, Eddie specified: “How do you know that he’s not coming back?”

Steve shrugged and smiled at him, crouching enough to be chin deep, too, mirroring Eddie.

“I need to believe that this time is for good. There’s no point in going on with our lives if we are stuck in that headspace, you know?” Steve licked his lips and he was suddenly, somehow, closer to Eddie. He didn’t see when he moved. “Like, what’s the point of trying to get a good job if I’m always fighting monsters in my head? Why would I try to find a person to fall in love with, to marry, to build a family with?” Steve studied Eddie’s face before he continued, again, closer.

“Steve—”

“Why would I even bother?” Steve asked, and Eddie felt Steve’s warm hands grasping his under the water.

Eddie didn’t quite know what was happening, but he felt Steve’s forehead against his, and he was starting to feel dizzy with want. This was—god, this was insane.

Why was he so close? Why—why was he telling him this?

There was something that didn’t feel quite right. And Eddie hated that he knew exactly what.

“Is that what you want in life, Steve? A wife and a family?” Eddie’s voice was a little trembling and he felt like shuddering all of the sudden, like the water went extremely cold, and the skin against skin was burning him alive. He could even taste Steve’s breath in his mouth, and his mind, god. His mind was clouded, overcast, no sun to be seen even if it was right in front of him.

It took Eddie a couple seconds to understand that Steve didn’t respond.

Steve was still unreadable to Eddie, and Eddie had never been more lost in the past few months that he was at that moment.

“What I want,” Steve said, low, raspy, shaking. “What I want is to live, Eddie.”

Steve didn’t ask Eddie with words. Steve asked for Eddie’s permission to kiss him looking at him in the eye, and then to the lips, and back to the eyes. He gave Eddie time to back down, and when he didn’t, he came slightly closer, grazing his lips against his. Eddie forgot how to breathe, especially when Steve stood there, not kissing him, not moving. Waiting for Eddie to move away.

Eddie laced his fingers with Steve under the water and that was permission enough for Steve to finally mold his mouth against Eddie’s.

Eddie’s mind crashed. He didn’t understand anything that was going on. It still didn’t click. Maybe he was sleeping,maybe this was nothing but a feverish dream but it felt quite too real.

Steve was kissing him, gently, softly. Tentatively. Steve kissed his bottom lip, once, twice, three times. It was only when he tilted his head to deepen the kiss that Eddie actually kissed back.

It still felt off, but they kissed, oh, they kissed. Steve cupped his jaw with a hand, drawing him closer, chest to chest, wet skin slick and soft against one another. Burning bright and all consuming.

Swimming lessons forgotten, they kissed and touched until the water was actually too cold for their bodies and they had to get out of the lake. Eddie tried not to think too much of what he thought he knew about Steve, he tried not to think about if Steve was finally showing his cards about what he wanted to get from Eddie. Eddie decided not to listen to that voice, not that night, not when water and fire actually made magic together, like an impossible. Like a paradox, the universe destroying itself and building itself back.

Steve Harrington, the unreadable man, surprising Eddie once again, against his will, by kissing him.

Eddie didn’t pry about Steve’s sexuality, that was a conversation for the future. Their bodies were around a towel that Steve retrieved from his car, pressed together, still kissing fiercely, pulling up sighs and moans from each other.

“You didn’t—uh—you didn’t teach me how to swim,” Eddie said suddenly, stupidly, and he scolded himself. Steve laughed in his lips.

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m sorry. I can teach you another time, though,” Steve suggested. Eddie smiled in his lips, ignoring that terrible feeling.

“A-ha. Yeah, sure. We can—we can do that, yeah,” they both laughed softly, still pressed together. “Was this your plan all along? Getting me naked and kissing me stupid?”

Steve laughed again and Eddie wanted to die in his laughter. “No, not really. I really wanted to teach you to swim, but,” Steve gave Eddie a peck, “you kept asking about what I wanted and, um—nobody has asked me that in a long time. And I—well, I just realized there what I wanted.”

“To live?” Eddie asked, not really teasing.

“Yeah. I want to live, to love, to have a family and a nice house,” Steve said, smiling. He looked into Eddie's eyes. “I want all that, Eddie.”

And that was what it wasn’t clicking.

Because Eddie couldn’t give him what he wanted. Eddie couldn’t give him a fancy wedding, a nice life, in a respected neighborhood. He couldn’t bear children of their own. They probably wouldn't be able to buy a house because he knew, he saw how clandestine and secretive lives like that were. How dangerous, how mortifying not being able to hold hands in public.

A life with Eddie would bring Steve nothing but misery and his dreams crushed, shattered, scattered all over.

Eddie was not part of that equation, and he wouldn’t let himself be, because Steve deserved to have all that, everything that he wanted.

What was happening between them, the kisses under the silver moon, bare and wet and full of dying love, was turning that quarry into a graveyard of the unborn life that they were not meant to have together.

Eddie hugged him tighter, kissing him deeply and hungry and leaking what was left of his love for that fantasy into Steve’s mouth, hoping that it would be imprinted in his blood and in his lips for the rest of his life that he so wanted to fully live.

That he could foresee.

For that he could prepare.

But not that night. Not that night. Not when it was new and raw and experimental.

Maybe it could work in another world, Eddie thought, where fire and water can kiss, and the sun and the moon can share the same sky at the same time.

Maybe then.

Maybe there.

#inklessletter #inky writes #fanfic #fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie fic #st fic #ficlet #angst and hurt #pining #kissing #developing relationship #internalized homophobia #period typical homophobia #eddie is sad :(#it's been a long while since I don't write anything

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plumbob-pudding · 2 months

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Frank also turned eighteen not long after Sly. He still lived at home and spent most of his time helping Papa and Uncle Bertie set up the bank.

When he wasn't helping, he spent all his time with Isaac. After the success of their unioninising , they became much closer, spending all their time together, talking about everything from politics to normal life.

Sometimes they got a little too close but Isaac was always quick to reassure Frank. "It was just a few kisses," he'd say, "that doesn't make us queers or anything".

#sims 4 decades challenge #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 legacy #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #ts4 decades challenge #the mosleys #gen 2 #frank is also not the heir #period typical homophobia #q slur #i didn't even notice they had the same haircut aww

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trashbag-baby666 · 3 months

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Don’t Mess With His Man-Buck/Bucky/Curt

Summary: Little Drabble in my head of Curt getting defensive of Bucky!!

WC: 590

C/W: period typical homophobia/smoking/drinking.

MOTA Masterlist!

It was another drunken night of a weekend pass at the bar.

Curt was playing darts with Bucky, Buck and some of the English sliders. They weren’t Curt’s favorites at all. They seemed to always start some sort of trouble. Sometimes trouble followed them.

“Ayyy!” Curt cheered as Bucky hit the bullseye, “Give it here boys.” Curt stumbled into Bucky slinging an arm around the man. He liked the feeling of his touch. Firm and warm. Buck's touch was always gentle, silk like almost.

Curt held out his hand as the other soldiers fussed and handed over their cigarettes and some money to them.

“Always a pleasure boys,” Buck shook one’s hand as he eyed Curt and Bucky. Both were swaying and singing off key to a song that began playing. A group of more English soldiers walked by and Buck accidentally ran into one as he tried to sing the high note raising his glass up.

“Watch where you’re going, queer.” The soldier spat. Bucky barely seemed to notice but Curt wiped his head around and stood up straight.

“What did you say to him?” Curt barked at the other man causing him to stop and turn his friends, taking notice and doing the same.

“You heard me, what are you his fairy boyfriend?” He rolled his eyes.

Curt didn’t hesitate before he stepped up to him and without warning swung on him knocking him back.

“Hey! Hey!” Buck grabbed Curt quickly and pulled him away.

Curt scrambled against Buck as he basically picked him up carrying him away and outside. Bucky followed his glass still in his hand as he was barely able to stay up right.

“What was that?” Buck asked as they went into the alley grabbing Curt’s wrist.

“Nothin’” Curt dropped his head shrugging. He hated people like that. Ignorant but it was more because he was scared. Curt had done the same growing up in New York there were times where others almost caught them.

He’d fight guys at his work for saying shit like that too.

“What did they say to you?” Buck asked again, this time an edge in his voice. He knew Curt wasn’t like that, sure he’d fuck with them. But he wouldn’t just flat out punch them.

“Nothing, just drop it.” Curt pulled his wrist from Buck's hand and grabbed out a cigarette.

As Curt lit it and brought it up to his lips Bucky hung on his shoulder.

“Can I borrow that he took his slender fingers and tried to grab the cigarette from him.

“Bucky get off,” Curt shoved the tall guy off of him. Bucky stumbled back and Buck caught him.

“Hey, what is going on? Just because something’s going on you don’t get to be mean.” Buck grabbed his wrist tight again, holding Bucky’s waist with his other arm.

“They just called Bucky a queer. Bothered me, That's all.” Curt shrugged as he lit another cigarette.

“Oh,”

“Yeah,”

“I wanna go inside!” Bucky crossed his arms, his glass broken somewhere on the ground.

“Let’s go,” Curt sighed, throwing an arm around Bucky's waist. Ignoring the angry feeling in his stomach still as they came back in. He felt like he needed to protect Bucky.

Bucky seemed to just always be blissfully unaware when he was in a drunken haze.

Buck knew he’d have to shake down Curt later. He knew how offended he’d get with people using any kind of slur. He had a big heart whether he would admit it or not.

#masters of the air #curtis biddick #john egan #bucky egan #buck cleven #gale cleven #bucky x buck #period typical homophobia #canon era #not proofread #we die like men

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polypd · 9 months

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rolan was always so well put together, so handsome and disciplined. He had good manners and better grades, a perfect picture of the kind of guy you'd want to take home to your parents. Rand loved it when he was deep in his job, poring over some notes or textbooks, his face scrunching up in concentration and his glasses sliding down his nose. Rand loved it even more when he could get Rolan to relax and stop being so stuck up, loved seeing him lounging around the house in sweatpants and one of Rand's graphic tees, loved it when Rolan woke up late and shuffled into the kitchen mumbling something incoherent about his dreams. Rolan was gorgeous no matter what he did and Rand loved every bit of it.

Kian was always so effortlessly gorgeous, a certain kind of otherworldly beauty that made Rand lose his breath. He was smooth and seductive, always ready with a witty remark to sweep Rand off his feet and leave him red and gasping for air. Rand loved it when he took a hit of a blunt and the smoke framed his face, leaning back and eyes closed, a look of pure bliss on his face. Rand loved it even more when he was towering over Rand, backed him against a wall and tilted his chin up for a kiss. He loved it when Kian got lost in his music until he seemed to forget he had an audience, eyes focused on the guitar as deft fingers danced along the strings. Kian was a wonder, something incredible to behold, something so alien in his beauty that Rand could hardly believe he was allowed to exist near him.

And Rand was just that: Rand. Timothy Rand, a 30 year old homosexual stoner who lived in his parent's attic and didn't have a job. He was nothing, he was ungly and worthless next to them.

#✒️writing tag✒️#jrwi #🎲jrwi🎲#🔮talking tag🔮#🎃og post🎃#bitb #blood in the bayou #rolan deep #timothy rand #kian stone #period typical homophobia #its hinted at but still #bitb fanfic #just roll with it #just roll with it fanfic #jrwi fanfiction

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alinacapellabooks · 3 months

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Review: We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian

Rating: 4/5 Stars

Genre(s): Romance, period drama (The setting is 1950s New York)

Tropes: Friends to lovers, slow burn, found family

Rep: Gay Italian-American MC, bisexual and autistic love interest (It’s never directly stated that Andy is autistic, but it is made very, very clear that he is)

My Thoughts: This book, you guys. I love it so, so much. It was such a gentle, comforting read, like a cup of hot cocoa on a cold morning, and so very domestic.

The main thing I liked about this book was the domesticity of the relationship between Nick and Andy. I loved seeing them just exist together, cooking, shopping, having dinner parties with their friends, and even adopting a stray cat, and from the moment Andy moved into Nick’s apartment, it truly felt like the two of them were married, but didn’t know it yet. They do know it by halfway mark, however, despite living in a time period where they can’t get married, or even be public about their relationship without risking legal action, but by the end of the novel, all of their friends know that they’re together, and they’ve even built up a network of queer people at work. I also really liked exploring the complex relationships that Nick and Andy had with their families, with Andy being fiercely proud of his mother’s work, even though she was never there for him when she was alive, and his improving relationship with his father, who wasn’t much better in terms of parenting, but he’s one of the first to know, and accept that fact that Andy is in love with Nick, and he bonds with Andy much more as an adult. Meanwhile, Nick is firmly in the closet to everyone in his family, except for his cop brother, who very much does not approve of his sexuality, mainly because it puts his career at risk. He agrees to keep Nick’s sexuality, and his relationship with Andy a secret, but it is made very clear that he would prefer for Nick to be with a woman, if only because of his career as a cop being at risk.

Another thing I really liked was the handling of Andy’s relationship with his ex fiancée, Emily. Despite their relationship not working out, she remains very present in Nick and Andy’s lives, and there’s never any animosity between them. She, Nick, and Andy become genuine friends, and she’s arguably the most supportive of their relationship in their circle of friends.

Overall, this was a great read, and I would highly recommend it. If domestic gay fluff is what you’re into, this one is for you

#Books #bookblr #cat sebastian #we could be so good #romance novels #book review #gay romance #1950s #period drama #period typical homophobia #autistic representation #Domestic fluff

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cxttoncandysworld · 2 years

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Be ace, punch an aphobe's face 🖤🤍💜💅🏼✨

#lgbtq #lbtqia #ace memes #ace #asexual #aspec friendly #aspec flag #aspec culture #aroace #aromantic #aro memes #aro #incorrect quotes #period typical homophobia

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legends-of-time · 2 months

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Strength of a High and Noble Hill (Outlander Story) - Masterlist

Timelines:

19th and 20th Centuries

17th and 18th Centuries

Fraser Descendants (family tree)

Warnings:

Major Character Death, Minor Character Death, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Sexism, Period-Typical Racism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con

Summary:

May 1744

He wriggles his toes, feeling his environment. He quickly realises how much his surroundings are constricted, his legs are tightly bound and he is being cradled in someone’s arms. He opens his eyes and sees a woman leaning over him and realises she must be the one holding them. She’s humming softly with a warm and happy smile. He can see that her skin is clammy and there are bruises under her eyes, the eyes that are amber, golden-brown as well as smoky topaz, but that doesn’t dim her smile as she gazes upon the person in her arms. She’s white and her brown hair surrounds her face in messy curls.

——

What if Claire and Jamie’s first baby survived and what if it had been a boy. How will the story change?

Chapters:

Chapter 1: Birth

Chapter 2: First Months

Chapter 3: Peaceful Family Life Disrupted

Chapter 4: Goodbyes

Chapter 5: New Beginnings

Chapter 6: A Fish Out of Water

Chapter 7: Conflict

Chapter 8: Sister

Chapter 9: Returning

Chapter 10: The Truth

Chapter 11: The Loss of Hope

Chapter 12: Coping with Change

Chapter 13: Finding Him

Chapter 14: Moving to the Past

Chapter 15: Loss

Chapter 16: Lost Family

Chapter 17: A New but Old World

Chapter 18: Reunited at Last

Chapter 19: Big Brother

Chapter 20: Coming Together

Chapter 21: Fathers

Chapter 22: Dreams

Chapter 23: Fathers and Their Archaic Ways

Chapter 24: River Run

Chapter 25: A New but Old Face

Chapter 26: Caught in the Act

Chapter 27: Family Time

Chapter 28: New Beginnings

Chapter 29: Waiting

Chapter 30: Old Dreams

Chapter 31: Inferiority Complex

Chapter 32: Community Swelling

Chapter 33: Purpose

Chapter 34: First Sight

Chapter 35: Is it Happily Ever After?

Chapter 36: Gifts and Awkward Conversations

Chapter 37: Unravels

Chapter 38: Lay Up Trouble For Yourself

Chapter 39: War Wins Land, Peace Wins People

Chapter 40: Life Goes On But The Threat Looms

Chapter 41: Building Arsenal

Chapter 42: Romeo and Juliet

Chapter 43: Baggage Weighs You Down

Chapter 44: Misunderstandings

Chapter 45: Should auld acquaintance be forgot?

Wattpad access

fanfiction.net access

Ao3 access

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goponylover · 8 months

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Inspired by @cathures fic "Look Into the Abyss: The Fredbear arc". Will and Henry's designs inspired by @glitchfinity on tiktok. They are my definitive William and Henry.

#willry #helliam #fnaf #fnaf fanfiction #five nights at freddy's #william afton #henry emily #period typical homophobia #80s #my art #vocaloid

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reg-cann0t-swim · 3 months

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"When scientists dig up your bones they will know what you really are." 😡

did it ever occur to you that i do not care what my ribcage identifys as?

#like bffr #transgenerism 🫶#period typical homophobia

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sleepyeye17 · 1 year

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Chapter One of Munson Family Thanksgiving Babyyyyy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42802554/chapters/107522661

Excerpt:

Eddie turned off the ignition, but he hesitated before getting out of the car. He shut his eyes and exhaled. He was exhausted after the night shift and was ready for the days off that Thanksgiving would provide. He hated working the 2-10, but he’d traded with a coworker so that he could spend the holiday with his new family.

It was the first time they’d spend the holiday together, and everyone was pulling out all the stops. It was going to be him, Wayne, Steve, and Gareth, who had been recently disinvited from his own family gathering. It was small compared to most thanksgiving parties, but it was a big deal for the four of them. Eddie would put down money that Steve was already at the trailer, mashing potatoes. Steve and Wayne got along like they’d known each other their whole lives. They both knew the same terrible country music and liked the same sitcoms. Steve had gotten Wayne talking more than Eddie had ever seen him talk in his life.

He rubbed his face and got out of the car. He hoped that he would be able to get a few hours of sleep before he had to help.

Then he saw the man waiting outside the trailer and his face drained of all color. The man was old, and clearly high, but the spark of shared blood flamed into awareness in Eddie’s chest. The man started coming towards him.

“Nope,” Eddie said. “Nope. Not today. Not ever.”

He made to get back in his car, but the man blocked his way. He stank of sweat and booze and ammonia.

“Is that any way to greet your old man?”

“Go away.”

“Why you look like a girl? You should cut that shit off.”

“Get out of here, man.”

“Or what?”

“I’ll call–”

“The cops?” the man laughed, showing a missing tooth and blood red gums. “I know you, Turkey Trot. You have too much to hide.”

“My friends,” Eddie said. “I’ll call my friends.”

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #Uncle Wayne #joe keery #joseph quinn #period typical homophobia #matching aprons #Steve cooking #mean dad #Eddie's dad #Eddie's dad is an asshole

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onthepyre · 1 year

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They're ten the first time.

Lucas is away visiting family for Easter, and Mrs. Henderson needed Dustin home earlier than usual so that he could do the chores he'd been putting off all weekend. Only Will and Mike remain in the Wheeler basement, half-painted minifigures scattered on the floor around them.

It's warm. Will has always loved the basement for that. Even in the dead of winter, with the water heater just a wall away, it would only drop to sixty-five. Now, as March bleeds into April, it’s about seventy degrees, with yellow lighting that makes Will feel sort of fuzzy and tired. Mike is close to him, too. The body heat and the comfort of being near his friend push Will to the edge of sleep. He has a task to finish, though, and the orc staring up at him isn’t getting painted any faster as he starts to doze off, wondering how soon he’ll need to be home.

He finishes two orcs and starts on a gnoll like that, eyes half-lidded and leaning on his elbows. It’s silent except for the hum of electronics. He suspects Mike is feeling the same sort of fatigue. Once, Will hears him sigh, like he’s a sad dog, and then he blinks three times, heavy and intense. He assumes Mike is trying to keep himself awake, but Will can’t seem to find the reason or the courage to get up and go home, when the basement is so peaceful. He never wants to leave.

Eventually, though, Mrs. Wheeler shouts down that his mother has called, and Will has no choice. He hollers back an ‘okay,’ and turns to Mike with a sad smile.

“I’ll finish this gnoll on Wednesday,” he says, and places it on the edge of the little circle they’ve started. It’s a request and a promise.

“Wednesday sounds good,” Mike responds, and Will’s smile shifts into a real one.

He’s overcome, in that moment, with that soft feeling that began with the lights and the tiredness. It grows in his chest and his face, and he pinpoints with sudden certainty where it’s coming from now. He leans forward to wrap Mike in a hug.

It’s calming. They’re both spindly and weak, something Will knows unfortunately well, but with Mike’s arms around him, he feels safe. Mike only lets it last a few seconds before he’s pulling away, clapping Will on the shoulder. He looks happy, though, and Will is emboldened.

“See you then,” he says, and then, “I love you.”

He means it innocently. Mike is important, and Will wants him to know that. He doesn’t understand why Mike’s face falls, but either way, the warm feeling vanishes and instead, weight starts building in his gut.

“Don’t,” Mike says quietly, “Don’t say that.” He shifts backwards, away from Will, like he’s a rattlesnake about to strike.

Will can’t help himself. “Why not? You’re my friend.” And I love you, he thinks, but saying it out loud again doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that would fix this.

“Because. Because we’re friends, and friends don’t say that kind of stuff. And because boys can’t love other boys. Okay?”

This is news to Will, who stares, incredulous, at Mike. He thinks of Jonathan, who Will loves more than anything, and who likes to tell him that he should be himself no matter what. But when faced with the possibility of Mike saying something like that again, and the prickling in his throat, Will can only nod.

“Bye,” he says, and stands to head upstairs. Mike doesn’t respond.

Will has to pull over on the bike ride home because the tears make his vision too blurry to see the road in front of him.

The next time, they’re fourteen.

Will is lying flat on his back on El’s bed, complaining, while she sits cross-legged on the floor and puzzles out her algebra homework.

“I mean, it’s not like this place isn’t technically more fun, you know? Like, Hawkins had Starcourt for, what, a few months before we blew it up? Other than that, you could play D&D and go to the pool that was about it. And here, there’s the ocean, there’s everything downtown, there’s, like, a million places open after six, which was impossible to find in Hawkins, and yet. I just wish our friends were here, too. Maybe it wouldn’t be so boring then.”

El nods along like she’s listening. After a few seconds’ pause, she asks, “What is 32 divided by 8x?”

“Let me see that,” Will responds, joining her on the floor. “You’re just dividing by eight, not 8x, see? So that’s four, and then you’ve got four equals x minus two. So you add two, and you’re done.”

“Yes,” El says. “You should write them a letter.”

“I call them all the time, though,” Will says. “I talk to Dustin almost every day.”

“I talk to Mike a lot, too, and Max. I like writing more, though. It feels better” she says. She plucks her pencil out of Will’s hand and starts to pick at the eraser. “I am more honest when I write.” El looks at him for the first time since he’d started. “Even though I do not always send it,” she tacks on.

“Maybe you’re right,” Will says. “I’ll give it a shot.”

He does, that evening after dinner. He pours out his heart and soul in a letter addressed to Mike. He tells him how boring California is, how glad he is that El is with him, how much he misses Hawkins. And then he keeps going. In his messy scrawl, Will tells Mike about how everyone seems to hate him, about being called a dozen new insults that put zombie-boy to shame, about how there's hardly a week that went by without him or El ending up in the other's arms, sobbing. And Will tells Mike how much he misses him.

He waxes a little poetic about it, though he reads back and finds it horrifically embarrassing. It's true, though — everything would just be so much better if Mike was here, too. That isn't to say he doesn't miss Dustin and Lucas and Max, but without Mike, everything just feels sort of incomplete. He doodles in the margins of the paper while he thinks about what else to write. There's the things he usually draws, stars and trees, but also hearts and tiny frowny faces. He scribbles out the hearts.

By the time he gets halfway through, Will knows he's never going to send it. After only a little bit of thought, he signs off the letter, "Love, Will." He knows that if he were to mail it, the best response he would get would be an angry phone call. You can't say that. More likely, Mike wouldn't respond at all. He would read it and pretend it got lost in the mail.

Will burns the letter in the backyard. El adds to his pyre with a few of her own.

The last time, they're sixteen.

Mike, to Hopper's chagrin, is helping to plan a campaign, and he's doing it in the Byers-Hopper family's dining room. It feels like a silly thing to do after all of the chaos of the last few years, but with the recent weeks of calm, Will is cautiously hopeful.

The plan features a smaller party than usual, and Will's storytelling skills are rusty, so Mike's offer to co-DM was a welcome one. They've sketched out a rough outline and are working on fleshing out the big bad — a vampire couple looking for revenge — when Mike stands to stretch.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, though Will catches what he really means.

"Sure," Will says as he gets up, "It is getting kinda late. We've got chicken nuggets, if you want."

"Sounds great," Mike says. He follows Will into and around the kitchen, both sliding around in their socks and laughing. Will finds himself thinking that he missed this, though what exactly "this" is, he's not sure. Mike's laugh, maybe. The calm of the two of them, alone together.

The kitchen light is dim and orange. Mike's hair is getting long, and he runs a hand through it, something he doesn't seem to really be aware he's doing. Either way, it makes Will want to touch it, too. Touch him. He's right there, and it's been ages since the last time Will tried, so maybe it would be okay now, he thinks, knowing it isn't true. Still, the desire burns dark within him, almost hungry. He catches himself staring at Mike's collarbones.

Will doesn't end up doing anything. The oven timer goes off and he shakes himself loose from his trance to get their food. He tries to go back to the easy conversation they'd been making, but something has shifted, and Mike feels it, too.

He picks up flipping notebook pages, right where he'd left off, but Will can't shake the feeling that the mood is wrong. Everything feels on the verge of crumbling until Mike speaks.

"I'm really glad we have time to hang out again," he says, and though it's not really all that deep, the sentimentality gets to Will.

"Me too." He lets it sit for a moment before he tacks on his own thoughts. "I've missed us, you know? We used to be so close as kids, but with everything, we've sort of drifted apart, so. I'm glad too."

"Yeah," Mike says, and he holds Will's eye for a while before they return to their work. Whatever had fallen loose had slid back into place, and Will finds he's able to think again.

There's a feeling that starts building in his chest that's becoming overwhelming, and Will knows all too well what it is. Every time he glances to Mike, who is glowing in the soft light, it gets worse, and he thinks if he doesn't say something, he might die, because it's weighing even heavier after what they'd just said and it's just going to keep growing.

"I love you," he says, quietly enough he thinks it might go unheard.

He's wrong. Mike closes his eyes. Will knows he's made a mistake.

"Why would you say that?" Mike asks, soft in a way that makes Will think he might get punched.

"Because I do," he answers. He's scared, but more than that, he's tired of hiding this. He wants Mike to know. "Because I've missed you, and I like spending time with you, and you mean a lot… mean everything to me. Because I love you."

"I don't…" Mike has his face in his hands, and it makes Will want to cry. He might, actually. His throat is starting to prickle. "I can't, Will. I'm sorry, okay? But you can't say that to me."

"Why not?"

If he doesn't get an answer, Will is going to cry.

"Because," Mike says, and stops.

"Why?" Will insists.

"Because I can't say it back! Alright? I don't." Mike's head is up now, but he won't look Will in the eye. "And I don't see why you can't understand that. Anyone else would've gotten it by now, and I don't get why you keep pushing!"

A tear slips down Will's cheek and he wipes it away as soon as it falls. It's not enough.

"Just…" Mike stands, sighing. "For both of us, just forget this ever happened. Okay?"

Will doesn't respond.

"Okay?" Mike reiterates, forceful, angry.

"Okay," Will chokes out. "Yeah. Fine." His voice breaks twice.

"I'm going home. I'll see you at school."

Will lets him leave. He turns off the kitchen light once Mike is gone.

#byler #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #fanfiction #angst #hurt no comfort #unrequited love #june's writing #look at me actually posting to tumblr instead of putting the link to ao3. wow #period typical homophobia

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insertmesoftly · 2 years

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RuleBreakers (Gary x Depressed Queer Girl Reader)

Ok, first, disclaimer. When I say Y/N is queer and still figuring herself out, I mean it. The journey she's going through for her sexuality and gender are major points in this story and I'm still not exactly sure how I would label either. And that's ok. There will be some period-typical homophobia though. Sorry buds, it's part of the growth. Also, yes I am most definitely messing with the canon timeline to shape it however I want because it's easier this way for me X,D I apologize if that's annoying, I just didn't know how else to make things fit the way I wanted em to.

Your schools were switched at the start of freshman year because you decided to ask out a girl you thought was into you and she told everyone. Your parents are incredibly strict and religious. With the town in an uproar over you, they decided to pool their money with other family members to send you away to Bullworth Academy, hoping it would 'take care of your problem.’

You've always been a good kid with good grades and anxiety to please. This traumatic event quickly changed your beliefs. As soon as you arrived at Bullworth, you were determined to become a problem. Your anger only solidified as the secretary lady carted you away, flagrantly distasteful of the fact that you were a 'lesbian.' She warned all your teachers to look out for and curb any unwanted gazes or touches of yours to other female students. The student body, of course, caught wind of her loud talking and you were already titled 'The Lesbo.' No one talked to you except for boys that would mock you. Every girl steered clear of you with pinched faces. This was your life now.

You hated everything. You hated the school. You hated the students. You hated the teachers. You were spiteful and ready to lash out any way possible. Your first week at school was spent alone, but you got insight through the conversations of others. You overheard the name Gary, a prick no one messed with unless they were desperate to get something. Apparently, he made a big commotion the first week of school when he was brought in with a screaming parent. The reformation they expected from him in this school was palpable, and kids feared what he did before coming here that made his mother that hysterical. When a brave soul tried asking him about it, Gary didn’t budge. Everyone could feel he was a ticking bomb. You’ve seen him, always alone unless he was doing something shady with someone else. You decided to start there.

Gary was in three of your classes, but you could never catch him in-class. You stalked him outside one day and called out to him. He was surprised to see you, amused.

'Woah, is the new Lesbo making a move on me? Sorry, but I don't think I qualify for your taste.'

'Shut up. I'm just looking for pants.' You look down at your bare legs, frustrated. 'They won't sell them to me.'

Gary laughed, his eyebrows raised. 'What, you wanna be a boy now too?'

You shook your head. Then you shrugged. 'I don't know. I'm sick of it. If everyone's gonna be avoiding me or staring, I might as well dress the way I want to. And I want pants. It's getting fucking cold.'

Gary shrugged as well, not really caring but enjoying being an aid to chaos. 'All right, don't need your life story now... I'll see what I can do. It'll cost you though. I'll probably end up taking a pair from some shrimp your size.'

'Deal. Whatever it takes.'

'Heh.'

Gary was able to swindle a kid out of an extra pair. They were still a bit big for you, but you tied them with a belt and rolled up the bottom of the legs. You thanked Gary and that was that; business concluded with you 10 bucks poorer. You couldn't have snacks for a month.

The school was in a bit of an uproar when you walked in the next morning. Your science teacher sent you to the principal's office, and the same lady from the first day gave you a stern talking to about modifying your behavior. You came to this school to learn how to be a proper lady after all. You gave her a few choice words. Demanded her to take off your pants herself if it bothered her so much. She sent you away, flustered and enraged, with a week of detention for your 'off-putting behavior.' You still wore the pants and insisted to anyone that wanted you to change that they'd need to yank them from your body. So far, no one's dared.

You stumbled into Gary one day as you tried fleeing from a teacher you knew had a lecture ready for you. You looked at each other as the teacher called for you to come back, their footsteps nearing. It only took him a second to register what was happening before he pushed you behind him and turned the corner, immediately flipping a switch and chatting up the teacher, asking about a topic not covered in class. You took your chance and ran… but curiosity made you linger outside. Gary eventually went out the front doors, you called him over.

In the corner of the school building, you stood with your arms crossed and asked him why he helped.

Gary scoffed. ‘Well I wasn’t doing it out of the kindness of my heart, if that’s what you’re asking. You owe me.’

‘… I don’t have anymore money.’

‘A favor then.’

Your eyes narrowed, his smile never faltered. This felt like you were tiptoeing through a slippery slope.

‘What do you want?’

‘Nothing… yet. But I’m sure I’ll need your help in the future.’

Something about this… made you feel like he was planning something. So you ask him.

‘What are you going to do?’

‘Nothing extreme, I assure you. Maybe just a few pranks here and there. To liven things up.’ Gary wasn’t budging on giving any details. You bit your lip.

‘What about getting in trouble? You’ve been doing good in-‘

‘Hey.’ Gary’s eyes finally showed a different emotion. Caution. ‘I never said I’d get caught. And I assure you, no one will know you helped me. Besides…’

Gary looked meaner as he crouched a little closer to you and crossed his arms. You took a step back.

‘You’re one to talk. You’re on thin ice with the pink bitch, aren’t you? I bet she’s looking for any little complaint from one of the prefects to land you on clean up duty.’ He laughed at your expression, your frown evident, and turned away. ‘Focus on yourself, Lesbo. You have enough on your plate.’

You didn’t like how the conversation ended but. He was right.

A month in, the secretary hasn't let up, but is now more or less also counting on the bullying you're receiving. Guys and girls calling you slurs, boys push you around and girls can't stand being in the same room as you. Still, you continue, your anger growing with every word and action done against you. It culminates one day when a guy grabbed your shoulder, not wanting to let you walk away from his insults, and you DECKED him in his fucking face. You see RED. You're on him, punching over and over again, his buddies laughing, girls screeching, a prefect finally came and carted you off. More 'unladylike' violence. This is what happens with girls who refuse to be girls. You're given school chores that are overlooked by a teacher. Clean up, just like Gary said. You can't stand it anymore.

You stalk Gary again, the elusive bastard. You'd just finished moping the gym floor and a trip had soaked you completely. Still, you beelined to him as he was heading into town and yank his arm to make him follow you. He immediately pushed you off, but a few seconds of recognition later, he follows you anyways.

'God, what's your problem?? Is the lesbian thing a cover up?'

'Shut up shut up SHUT UP about that, I just want in. Tell me about the pranks!'

Gary blinked and lowered his gaze, now serious. 'What do you mean?'

You groan into your hands. 'I don't know, man! I hate the school and everyone in it! And you- it’s not like you give a fuck about anyone here anyways right? You’re bored? Let’s do it! Let’s fucking destroy shit! I don't care. I'm just so fucking done. I want to destroy everything. I want to get payback, I want people to shut up, I want anything, please-'

'Okay okay geez calm down! I'm getting the picture! You're desperate and angry and you want to lash out. Who hasn't felt like doing that?'

‘Yeah! So let’s start shit-‘

‘Woah, hey, we’re in the open, shh.’

Gary grabbed your shoulders and moved you more to the side, now you were both in shadows. You did as he asked and stayed quiet.

‘Alright. So you’re telling me you want to help me in whatever I’m doing?’

You nodded. Gary shook his head, grin growing.

‘You don’t even know what I’m planning.’

‘It doesn’t matter. I don’t like anyone here. I hate everything. I literally have nothing else to do!’

‘What about getting in trouble?’

You made a sound from the back of your throat. ‘You said we wouldn’t get caught. Even then- I guess it’s ok. I’m already a ‘problem’ anyways. Just… don’t make it a habit.’

Gary snickered at your answer.

‘Damn, you really hate this place, huh?’

‘Of course. I want to watch it burn.’

‘You are little fucking psycho.’

You felt your head tilt at the new name-calling. You scoffed.

‘I get the feeling I’m not the only one.’

Gary paused his laughter and looked you over. Really took you in this time. He touched his hair and sighed.

‘Alright… welcome to the team. We need some rules-’

Working with Gary is… rough at first. It’s you freshman year and reputation is everything. Gary isn’t keen on being seen with you. That’s how rumors start.

So he just tells you to meet with him somewhere different every time.

To your surprise, he’s actually had quite a few problems in his schoolyear. He’d gone poking around in the messes of upperclassmen jocks, and some had figured out. Now he had older kids looking to put him in his place, and fellow freshman eager to get in their good graces.

That’s when Gary showed you his expertise with underhanded methods of dealing with things. Your year was spent stalking the freshman as he looked over the upperclassmen’s. Once you got their routine down, you both started implementing his plan. Making the freshman become the new targets of these upperclassmen through a series of ‘unfortunate accidents’ and loads of framing.

Now what Gary had done didn’t seem worth it; the dicks had new targets to vent out their frustrations, teammates at that, and the underclassmen that were so eager to fit in before now lashed back.

You watched from afar as the boys would knock each other off, unable to work as a team anymore even during practices. Your dress code violations, while not forgotten, had taken the backseat to this new school conflict. This was great.

You liked causing mayhem. Your enthusiasm didn’t go unnoticed by Gary. While you had started with some skepticism, he saw your shift as you began seeing results. You respected him now. He liked that in a minion.

Your brainstorming sessions became less formal. Gary wasn’t keen on listening to your input much, but he allowed some suggestions. On the rare occasion, conversation would detract and you would both linger in whatever desolate spot Gary found for the day. They were largely unimportant conversation topics; Gary giving history lessons he found about the property, gossip, preferences, and the occasional talks about teachers and homework that burst the bubble of heists and danger and brought you back to the reality that you are both kids. Students, at the end of the day. Chit chats were nice, despite everything. You were both feeling more comfortable around the other. But you were still acquaintances at best…

For the end of your first year, Gary had to plan something big. Some of the upperclassmen would be graduating, and he wanted this to be memorable.

Luckily for him, their last match of the season would occur right at their humble abode.

The stage was set. The football team had all come to an agreement to put aside their differences for this game; the atmosphere was tense but victory was something both sides wanted. Unfortunately, things just kept going wrong.

From stolen jerseys and pictures of girlfriends slipping from the wrong locker, everything started terribly as there was already a scuffle in the lockers. Mr. Burton came in to kick the boys out, effectively silencing them and getting them to think about the game again. But then came the cooler at halftime. A freshman had been in charge of it, but as the upperclassmen came to find, the drinks tasted foul. As they rounded up on the freshman, accusing him of messing with the team, his friends stepped up to defend him. They had seen him prepare the drinks, nothing shifty ever happened. However, it was an upperclassman that was in charge of bringing it onto the field, he was the last one with the cooler.

This was it.

Mayhem ensued as punches were thrown, shouting erupted, and Mr. Burton was clocked by an elbow as he tried separating two boys. The game was ruined with multiple injuries, the school’s reputation could not have been lower.

You and Gary rejoiced from your perch overlooking the field.

You could not stop gawking at the scene, bewildered by the chaos you could inflict on others. On the power… Gary had allowed you to participate in. Your eyes flickered to see the boy smirking beside you, unfiltered in its cruelty. This kid was a genius. You had partnered with the right person. You felt… lucky.

Once the game was officially cancelled and everyone started moving out, Gary got up and dusted himself off.

‘And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you’re supposed to play football. No more of that stupid bullshit calling camaraderie manly just for throwing a weirdly shaped ball! Where’s the fun in that? It should be played just like this; with no sides! Everyone battering the other, fists swinging, blood spraying! That’s how you fill seats...’

You had gotten used to his theatrics, but his mannerisms as he spoke got a laugh out of you. You felt so elated, you decided to join in.

‘Yeah! Huddling together? Tackling other guys to the floor? That’s gay-ass shit behavior. We did them a favor by returning them to their roots; pure macho aggression!’

Your input got an eyebrow raise from the boy, his smile widening. ‘Wow, Lesbo, are you against your fellow gays? What’s this I’m hearing about, was all this an elaborate play to stop others from coming out too? Now these poor blossoming youths will have to leave with broken hearts and shattered identities!’

The way Gary spun your words, it was clear he was trying to get a rise out of you. Despite being on the same side, despite having worked all schoolyear together, he was still such a dick. Whatever. You didn’t let that keep you from your good mood, you’d play along.

‘Better I crush their hopes now than to have them out and hated by everyone for the rest of their lives. Believe me, this was more mercy than they deserve.’

Gary snorted. ‘Speaking from experience, are we?’ He fully faced you, like a jackal cornering a chicken. There was no escape as he dug into you.

‘Do you regret letting your secret out?’

This had been such a good night. And now Gary, being Gary, was not letting go of another opportunity to break someone. This was personal shit. Stuff that Gary could use later on to pick on you as you know he does to others. But you couldn’t back down. You knew Gary. Weakness wasn’t an option. Your eyes never left his as you cross your arms and shrug.

‘Not really. Not anymore, at least. What happened, happened, and now I’m here. I’m different. I feel more free…’ You recalled the more bookish, shy and quiet version of you from before. Always nervous, overly reliant, daydreaming fantasies you thought you could get away with. Like you had said, bubbles burst sooner or later. You could only count your blessings that you were no longer shy, weak and unhappy. You were here, plotting revenges and actually causing shit to go down. You grinned, catching Gary by surprise as laughter erupted from your mouth.

‘Look, I’m not going to give you any sad speech about how much my life sucks or whatever memories you think you’re provoking in me. I’m not living like that anymore. I’m someone new. Your minion.’

You smirked as you put out your hand. Gary stared at it a bit before also smiling and accepting your handshake.

‘My minion? Not ‘accomplice?’ ‘Partner?’ Come on, you’re selling yourself short, aren’t you?’

You shook your head and let go of his hand. ‘We both know you’re the powerhouse here. I would have never accomplished something as big as this. You’re scary, Gary.’

You’re still smiling.

‘I’m never messing with you. In fact, thanks for letting me in on your side.’

Such bold words did something for Gary really liked to his ego. After all jagged interactions with kids his age that always left him feeling like a cog in the wrong place… this was a breath of fresh air.

Alright.

You had passed a test Gary didn’t even realize he had.

As if a spell had been lifted, Gary was back to being his deceptively chummy self. He moved to pat you on the back.

‘Look at you! Learning how to kiss my ass. Can’t say I don’t like it, though. Please, keep telling me how intelligent I am.’

‘Is that an order, boss?’

That got a laugh out of him.

Second year. Gary has already built up plenty of notoriety. Kids weren’t just cautious of him, some outright feared him, and the few that still had anything to say about him… he had plans.

So, he thought it was about time your meetings became a little more public. You were surprised to hear this as you both met up for the first day. You asked again, just in case. He didn’t mind…? What about the rumors?

Gary shook his head.

‘Whatever they imagine is going on is going to be proven wrong anyways when nothing happens. And if anyone gets any ideas that I’m turning queer, I’ll fucking kick their balls. That’s the only way to get them to shut up about it fast.’ You weren’t so sure they’d be that lenient, but Gary continued without asking for your input as always. ‘Besides, I’m sick of eating lunch alone. That’s prime time to be talking about whatever new plans I come up with. It was annoying having to wait till the end of the day to talk about them.’

You sigh and nod. Whatever he decided; he was the boss. At least this would affect you the least…

Kids left the school, others came in. Petey is one of them. No one really paid him much mind; he was immediately regarded as a geek, but when all his shirts turned pink one day, eyes started turning on him.

The laughter that erupted from Gary as he saw the boy miserably shuffle to class, his doom evident in his eyes made you snicker a bit too. You knew the little man would be toast; he was a brightly painted target for the bullies now. That’s just the way this school works… you tried convincing yourself of it but. Something in how vulnerable he looked and his squeals as he ran from the first throwdown that came his way made you want to help him.

You sneaked him out of the bully’s sight. Petey was grateful… and a bit too flustered after being saved by you. At a girl getting so close to him. You assumed he hadn’t heard about you yet. You would normally correct whatever he thought was going on… but his blushing was endearing. You left him with a warning about the bully’s schedule and went to meet with Gary again. You thought that would be the last time you did anything for him, but to your surprise, the next day, he was forced to be by Gary’s side with an arm strewn over his shoulders and a newly permanent scowl of discomfort on his face.

It looks like Gary also took a liking to him, and he told you he’d be joining the team.

Not only has Gary helped you accrue new pants as you’ve come to need them, but he’s expanded your wardrobe with bigger, less fitted shirts, and a pair of boots he found perfect for your escapades. Though you didn’t have much, you were liking your clothing more and more, but something was missing. You decided to up the secretary’s blood pressure once again by cutting your hair. It was too fucking hot, anyways.

The hairdresser you went to… refused to do what you asked. You paid for what was essentially just a girly bob. You wanted something more drastic. Gary was all too eager to help. With scissors and an electric shaver, he ‘borrowed’ from a shop, he was ready to make you his magnum opus. You were nervous.

But, like always… your skepticism was for nothing. He had a surprisingly keen eye. His focus and skill impressed you. He was taking this seriously. When he was done and handed you a hand mirror, you had to ask. Had he done this before?

Gary shrugged and started packing away the shaver.

‘I like paying attention to how the barber cuts my hair. I just picked up on it.’

What the hell was up with his mind? He was always finding new ways to surprise you.

The school had a fit as always, though it wasn’t as big as last year. The secretary had another talk with you, this time even the principal got involved. You got new chores. It was unfair but expected.

By this point, Petey already knew about what you are. You were surprised by how little things changed with him. He was still a nervous wreck talking to you at first; you guessed talking to a girl was just that big a deal to him. But he mellowed out as the year went on.

When you got your haircut, he stared. He asked you questions about why you’d want to change it. It was clear he was trying not to sound mean, but you still felt guarded by his reaction... Until he calmed down and gave you a genuine compliment.

‘… I think it fits you. You look really cool…’

That was the first time you’d ever been called that. Your heart skipped a beat and he tried talking about something else. Your lab project. Your mind wasn’t on science anymore.

Without a goal like last year, Gary had somewhat chilled and been doing smaller jobs messing with individuals rather than turning mobs against the other. You didn’t mind the change of pace; last year had been fun but exhausting balancing schoolwork with stalking and scheming. Now you both had more time to seemingly… just hang.

Gary called it regrouping, but there was nothing productive about spending an hour afterschool debating each other’s taste in films. You never pointed it out, despite the group getting friendlier, you knew Gary would not stand for any insinuation of the three becoming friends. Still, there were mishaps.

Like a day when Petey had received a care package from his parents. He excitedly talked about it at lunch, it was sickeningly clear how much he loved his parents. Gary couldn’t help sneer at it.

‘I’m glad you’re so easy to forgive, Petey. All it takes are a few pieces of cardboard and a new shiny toy for you to be okay with your parents sending you to hell.’

This made Petey pause finally, smile dropping. He had yet to learn how to tiptoe around Gary, Petey came out guns blazing as he retorted.

‘What about you? You’re in hell too. At least my parents care enough to send me stuff.’

That really ruffled Gary’s feathers. He acted as if Petey had shot him in the heart , placing his hands over his chest.

‘Oh, you wound me, Petey! You’re right! I’m soooo jealous! I wish my mom still wiped my ass for me and sent me my baby bottle for lunch like yours.’

‘Yeah, sure. I’m gonna go. Meet you at class, Y/N.’

Petey got up and left the two of you behind with half of lunch still on the timer. Even without his presence, Gary felt the need to go on mocking Petey, talking down the stupid care package and his relationship with his parents. To you, this was really beginning to feel like insight into Gary’s own life.

It’s true that neither of you have ever gotten packaged from your parents, just the occasional money and notes to do well in school. … yeah, maybe you were a little personally jealous whenever Petey went on to talk about his stabler home life with receptive parents. As Gary made a last point about how stupid it is to send your beloved child to a school as poor as this one just because it was close, you voiced your agreement. It WAS odd. Despite the cheery façade the faculty would feed parents, it was pretty clear how awful things were here.

That HAD to spell some level of neglect and naivety from Pete’s parents.

Gary enthusiastically jumped from your input.

‘Right? Maybe they secretly hate their kid.’

You propped your head on your hand, looking away as you gave your painfully honest opinion.’

‘Maybe they secretly saw something wrong with Petey and they bought into the promise that this school would fix it.’

Gary laughed. ‘Holy shit. And they’re lying to poor little naïve Petey.’ He leaned over and bumped his shoulder with yours, his mood back in the up since the conflict began.

‘I’m glad I have someone else that can see past the bullshit. Now we really have to be the bigger man and continue protecting his little bit of dignity. Let him believe he’s not like us.’

‘Fucked in the head?’

‘Your eloquence puts me to shame.’

Shit talking with Gary as opposed to when Petey was around … if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he liked talking to you more.

The next morning, Petey’s toy had been broken. Petey didn’t come to sit with them at lunch. You knew this would happen. You could have predicted it a mile away… maybe even have prevented it if you had stepped in. But, like you had told Gary the year before.

Why would you? You liked Petey… but Gary is scary.

You get to visit Gary’s room for the first time. Gary nonchalantly offered to bring you inside as he looked for something instead of having you wait for him at the dorm stairs. Not one to pass up the chance of seeing what it was like inside, you agreed.

Unlike the girl’s dorm, there was no one guarding the entrance. You were able to just walk in behind Gary with little attention from a group of nerds in the common room discussing the latest comic. You slipped inside his room without a problem.

To your surprise, it’s not as neat as you thought it’d be. Gary always gave the image of being notoriously orderly with himself, but the ground had bits of strewn laundry, and his bed was unmade. He told you to stand at the side as he dug around for something he had to give a ‘customer.’

You moved to the side, bumping into and noticing the medication on his table. You can’t stop yourself from picking it up as he tried ranting about some freshman that was giving him trouble. When he noticed you, he stopped. After some initial defensiveness on his part… he tries being casual as he explains about what its for. What he keeps hidden. He talks about it like he’s trying to beat you to the punch by insulting himself for not working ‘properly’. But none of that came to mind for you. You just shrugged at him and put the bottle down.

Whatever he needed from a doctor wasn’t your place to judge.

You throw him a bone by stroking his ego again and reminding him what you told him before; he’s possibly the smartest person you’ve ever met. A mastermind. Gary’s smile widens, praise accepted, heckles lowered. BPD or not, you’re right. You got out of his room unscathed, and have gone back a few times.

- You really begin noticing how little impact your presence now has in class and around others after a gym class with girls no longer shying away from you in the changing room. Everyone had settled into their own routines, no one was on the lookout for you to slip up. It felt… good. But you didn’t think this was something to celebrate. This is how things should’ve been from the start. You’re not a pervert.

Your negativity brought you back from the speck of relief you cultivated, and you slammed your locker, making a few girls jump. You got out fast and went to go to your dorm, with no big plans for the day, you thought you could just spend it doing homework and reading a book that caught your eye.

Gary wasn’t so keen to let you go. He had been chatting up a jock, one of the underclassmen that had previously picked on Gary for seniors. Gary would never fail to impress you with how resourceful he kept being. You planned on walking by them fast, but whatever business he had been making stopped when he saw you. Before you knew it, his arm was over your shoulders. That’s new.

‘Hey, where are you going off in a rush to? My friend here was just telling me about this horrible problem he has with his parents, and I think you can help.’ He steered you back to the jock he was talking to and begins explaining his dilemma.

He has very catholic parents and Gary has been essentially trying to butter him up by relating to his troubles. This was the first time Gary tried using you to get someone to talk. You felt a bit of pressure as you tried giving your input and relating it to your own religious parents. You were cut off by the boy.

‘No, see, but this is different. I’m not a sinner like you.’

‘Because I like girls?’

‘Well yeah. And you want to be a guy. You’re just all sorts of messed up.’

You glared at the jock, deciding you were done. What more could you say? You turned to Gary, who looked between you and him and shrugged.

‘It’s his beliefs. We should respect them, Y/N. You choose what you choose.’

Your eye twitched. You knew he was still trying to stay on the jock’s good side, but you will stay cross with him for this…

If the jock hadn’t just dug himself into a pit.

‘And you? Aren’t you a fag?’

Your jaw almost dropped at how casually the boy had asked. Gary’s eyes widened too; he was slow as he turned to really face him.

‘What?’

The jock knew by his tone that he hit something. He grinned like an idiot as he kept going. ‘You have all these weird mannerisms, and your only friends are a lesbian and a girly dweeb. Just come out and say it. You’re queer too, right?’

There was no quick response from Gary. Only a long, hard, deadly look followed by the short declaration.

‘I’m not gay.’

‘Look man, I’m just saying. Whatever you got going on is weird, and everyone notices-‘

There was a swift kick from Gary, just as he had promised. The jock was on his knees. You stepped away, knowing better than to stand between Gary’s fury. He knelt down and grabbed the boy’s scalp harshly, his smile strained but maniacal as he gazed at his victim.

‘You really have to learn to stop believing in rumors and joining in all the gossip. Isn’t that one of the commandments? Shame on you!’ Gary chuckled at the boy’s glare.

‘I wanted to do this the nice way, but you just had to run your mouth. So, this is what’s going to happen. You’re going to give me the key to the storage closet where you all put your little balls and nets and whatever other kinky shit you keep secret. You’re going to tell your coach that you lost it. And you’re going to do it because I have photos, dear old Papi’s address, and a rumor I heard that you have a childhood sweetheart back home that your family adores. You don’t want me breaking her heart now, do you?’

The boy stilled suddenly, understanding the implications. This was blackmail.

He nodded along to Gary, agreeing to the demand. If he hadn’t been a dick, you could have sympathized. Once families like that get attached to a possibility of your future, they see it as a betrayal to go against their vision.

You sighed as Gary let go of him and waved you over to walk with him. No more arm over your shoulder.

Gary’s medication may help him with his moods but there are still days when things are too overwhelming for him. After multiple tiny annoyances through out his day, Gary exploded at a client and broke the jar of contraband he had gotten for them. As the client was left speechless, he turned away from the deal, stalking out of the shadows and back to the dorm. You followed behind.

‘STOP it. Leave me alone.’

‘Alright. But-‘

He turned around, livid.

‘SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE, god, can you survive not breathing down my fucking neck for ONE DAY! Always this or that with you! Getting you stupid shitty clothes because you wanna be a rebel and not wear your nice new shit. You’re so goddamn-‘

‘…..’

At your expression, Gary paused for a second, but decided to continue.

‘You make things impossible for yourself. And why? I think you just like it! A glutton to the pain! Really wanting to be a special little snowflake just so you can hold it against anyone, wear it like a badge! Look how special and different I am! It makes me better than you! Isn’t that right?’

The urge to punch him was there. He’s always been an ass. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t take his bait. You refused to. He was useful for you, he gave you ways to vent your frustrations with the student body and faculty. You took a step back.

‘Look man, I was just going to ask you if you wanted me to look into the rumor with Donna. I know you were going to keep close tabs on it with your usual contacts, but… I can listen in on some conversations in the locker room. Maybe… try asking someone. I can give you the information on Thursday.’

At your deflection and lack of a reply to his verbal stabs, Gary calmed down a bit. He took in a breath, rubbing a hand over his face as he composed himself. He nodded.

‘Alright. You better give me a concrete answer, though. Don’t leave me hanging.’

You took another step back, nodding along as well. ‘I won’t. See you on Thursday.’

You watched Gary turn back to walk to the dorms. His shoulders were less tense now. You hoped you did the right thing.

Come Thursday, you had all the answers and more. It had been hard; the locker rooms hadn’t given you anything useful, so you had to zero in on one of Donna’s senior friends. Find an opening with her. Mimicking stuff Gary would do, you found it in the form of… finding her doing something compromising her image. Blackmail, this you were familiar with! Clunkily, you navigated threatening the senior into spilling the truth. You got a lot more than you expected, Donna’s friend was quite the motormouth.

You recounted the story at lunch, your description of her getting a laugh out of Gary. It’d been a while since he smiled; coming back to this after his break got him back to feeling great. Maybe even a little grateful.

He gave you a pat in the back just like the one at the end of your first year, praise spilling from his lips.

‘You really learned from the best, huh? I knew you had it in you. But don’t go using that to assault other girls now! There’s only room for one creep on campus… Mr. Burton will fight you for that position.’

Same dickish Gary was back.

You’re beginning to question your sexuality. You notice… a lot of things about Petey. His size, his lashes, how friendly he is with you. It’s been making your cheeks feel warm and you’re not sure if you’re going crazy or if this is a legitimate crush. You knew you liked girls. You always liked girls. Petey, for all his… feminine traits, was still a boy. His voice, his body, his hair, there were constant reminders of this in your interactions. But you weren’t sure you minded them. Not like you thought you would.

There was nothing stopping your heart from beating when he leaned close to you to look at your notes on the lab report. It made you want to know more. Crave it.

But you were scared.

You decided… you couldn’t just ask Petey if you could try something with him to confirm something for yourself. For one, that’d be way too much, you were sure you’d melt if you even tried hugging him. And… Petey was a sensitive kid. You didn’t want to lead him on if it turned out you couldn’t get past him being a boy.

… after much deliberation. You decided to ask for a favor.

You have possibly the worst or best timing for awkward situations to take place.

The trio had become a duo as Petey left the empty class you occupied for another ‘regrouping session.’ It was just you and Gary now. Now or never.

Gary stands up to leave but you ask him to stay. Your audibly high pitched voice catches his attention. You’re so clearly nervous and shaking. Gary can smell something is up.

He asks you what’s up.

Trembling, you decide to confess to him.

He’s the only boy you feel close enough to ask and

You beg him… as a favor of course that he will be able to use anytime he needs in the future…

To maybe help you figure out if you can like guys?

This really stirs something in Gary. Bafflement. Intruige. A scientific kind of interest… and maybe a bit of sadism as your beet red face makes his smile widen.

This was ridiculous.

It sounded fun.

He thinks it’s funny and tells you he’ll comply. But.. what is it you want? To fake date him? To make out? Gosh, so forward! Why not get it over with and suck his dick right here?

You sputter as you try forming the words rejecting those offers. There’s no need to go that far! You just need… to maybe touch him a little. Eyebrows are raised but before Gary can make another quip about what you’ll be touching, you clear up the misunderstanding and ask for.

A hug.

Maybe just a hug.

Gary thinks for a bit… crossing his arms.

That was… so boring. He sighed and scratched his head.

‘How is that going to help anything? Just one awkward back pat and you’ll know?’

‘…… that’s…. all I can think of….’

Gary hummed to himself as he thought things over. You were still sitting awkwardly, hands gripping your knees. An idea formed in his head… evil. But funny.

Without warning, he walks over to you, an takes your hands with his. He sits on your lap.

You have nowhere to run, no way to move. He’s heavy and he’s laughing in your face, placing your hands on him and teasing you with vigor.

‘Come on, weren’t you going to feel me up? Even if you don’t like it, use this as practice for when you FINALLY find another girl like you. But if this DOES open a new door for you…’

Your frustration hit a peak and you moved a hand to his mouth.

‘Alright, alright, just. Fuck, give me a second.’

‘…..’

He’s quiet for a bit as you’re trying to focus on his body. Maybe… focusing too much on his body. He’s sitting on your lap for christ’s sake! And he’s so close… but other than the initial shock… you’re not really feeling anything.

Hm.

At your expression, he starts back up with the teasing.

‘Wow. You know, it’s such an honor to be given this chance to possibly make you straight again-‘

‘Yeah?’

You weren’t really paying attention to him, instead, finally taking the chance to place a hand on his chest.

‘Oh? Missing boobs already?’

The other joined soon after.

‘Uh…’

You felt so awkward doing it, but you started tracing his pecs. You were surprised to realize they were soft, though you guessed it should’ve been obvious. Still…

The realization that a guy’s chest was similar to a girl’s WAS doing something to you.

You didn’t notice Gary had stopped talking, too lost in your thoughts. He had so much material but something about your intensity. The movement. The sensations.

It makes him start stirring.

He gets off you quickly, your wrists gripped tightly by his hands, and he desperately tries laughing it off.

‘Alright, time’s up! That was that!’

‘Oh…. Okay.’

As you both pack up to leave the classroom, it’s still quiet. You were now back to thinking about Petey.

Yeah. You liked him. You could be attracted to guys.

The revelation should’ve been a bigger punch to your gut than it was. At this point, your strangeness was just something you had to keep accepting.

As you both stepped out, you ask Gary if he’s dated someone before. Feeling the need to maybe… get some sort of solidarity with the awkwardness of it all.

Gary scoffs, accepting this subject change to stop thinking about trying to forget what he felt at the moment. He even uses it to try saying some ridiculous shit at first about how many girls he’s had confess attraction to him, how he could get anyone if he wanted… but you bring him back to the point of the question. You ask if he’s ever dated someone. He frowns at your rudeness and admits he hasn’t.

But it’s because he has no interest in it.

You raise an eyebrow and ask for clarification. Has he never had a crush? He waved it off like it was something shameful. He’d never be caught dead going after someone like that, he insisted. He has too high standards, and everyone disappoints him. It’s just as simple as that.

You only had to think about it for a few seconds before believing it. It made sense for Gary.

Unexpectedly, the idea of him actually becoming lovey dovey with someone made you laugh.

The following weeks had you insist on staying with Petey more, trying to bridge the gap you felt had grown since the beginning of the schoolyear.

But despite you having resolved your identity crisis… in the time it took you to understand yourself, Petey had gone and gotten a crush on someone else. Christy, the upcoming cheerleader destined to become the head after its current graduates.

He tells you such the day before your book report. You had been studying in the library… and you hoped to be able to get closer to him by asking about his feelings. You hadn’t expected this.

Petey was innocent as he tried asking for advice. You may act… boyish… but you were still a girl. What did you think his chances were with Christy if… he just tried to confess?

You didn’t know what to say. You felt clammed up, disappointed. Sad. You took in a shaky breath and tried playing the lesbian loser card. You told him you the last time you tried confessing to a girl… it landed you here.

That really shut him up. The awkward atmosphere made you get up and tell him you could finish the report in your dorm. Petey was sympathetic as he saw you leave, but whatever mistake he thought he’d made was not the correct one to focus on. You had your second heartbreak.

Your time away from Gary was not unnoticed or easily forgiven. When you tried asking him if he needed help with something, he was as bitchy as the day he snapped at a client. He walked past you.

‘I thought you’d be busy mooning after your new boyfriend some more. Hah, what happened to wanting to watch the school burn? Was that all traded as soon as you fell in love with the only girl that’d take you?’

‘If only.’

Your response made Gary stop his walking. What did you mean? Are you really going out with Petey?

When you denied it, something was evident in your voice. Feelings. Dejection. A flame stirred inside him, indignation. All this time he had spent alone, thinking you were avoiding him because of the awkwardness of that day… it was actually because you were thinking about PETEY?

What about the classroom? You touching him? That was all with PETEY in mind?

What the hell? Why did that gross him out more than before when he thought-

No. Back on track.

'Don’t tell me… you actually LIKE Petey?!'

'Yeah? I mean, I used to.’

‘Used to???’

‘Okay… maybe I still have a little bit left over but..... look, nothing is going to happen. Don’t worry about it...'

Well what kind of answer was that? Now Gary was even more interested!

'... What the hell does that mean?'

'..... I know who he likes. I know his type.' You smile and rub the back of your head sheepishly. 'I can't imagine he'd agree to a date with a mess like me... Besides. A guy like him dating a girl like me? He'd get more made fun of...'

Gary dug his fingernails in his arms and looked away. Why did your inherent rejection make him feel better? He had to distract himself from the relief that fell over him like a blanket.

'... You bet people would.' He tried laughing meanly, though it felt hollow. 'They'd ask who the man in the relationship was...'

You grimaced. You know Gary's sense of humor... but it still stung to face it like this. Your voice cracked.

'Yeah... hah. Just... one more thing to make me stay single forever.'

Gary finally looked at you... and he felt conflicted by what he saw.

You were defeated. You were now truly resigned.

Gary... was never good at consoling. Especially not when he wasn't really sorry... this was a win for him. You were back on his side. You were back to work. No more of this Petey distraction… no more thoughts on boys.

'Yeah, well-'

He swung his arm over your shoulder and started moving you away from the wall.

'It's not like dating is everything anyways. Now get your head back in the game! We have more assholes to make fun of.'

'... yeah.'

Teenage drinking.

Gary got some beer as payment from the preps for getting a secret out of the greasers. Since the schoolyear is ending, you both decided to celebrate another year of successful disruptive behavior without getting caught. Without Petey.

You were definitely more enthusiastic about your first time getting buzzed; Gary smelled the opportunity to see you become stupider than usual and let you just keep chugging the cans as he lightly sipped his own. Three beers later, your tongue has loosened and you’re talking the most he’s ever seen. Uninterrupted, as he’s fascinated by your rambling thought processes. He’s wondered about possible future scenarios, not realizing you stopped talking and were just looking at him as he languidly drank his beer.

You tell Gary that he's pretty. Out of nowhere.

He laughs, but you keep insisting that he's actually a really pretty dude.

He starts getting defensive thinking that you're comparing him to Petey, like you’re basically calling him a sissy. He gets in your face, he feels so insulted after all that went down with the wimp, he’s ready to lay your flaws out with that little excursion, but you don't back away from him even as he spits his words. You’re stuck staring at his eyes. He stops as he realizes he’s talking to the air, the silence makes you feel like you can talk again.

You slur your words as you tell him that he's not like Petey at all. Unlike the more effeminate boy… Gary’s a dude all the way. From his appearance and attitude.

But… you still think… he’s got a beauty to him that’s so unique. It’s Gary. ‘There’s something magnetic about you Gary.’

Your sincerity makes his initial rage temper down and he’s puzzled looking you over, not knowing how to take this. You smile and laugh as you reach over. He flinches a bit as your hand brushes his eyebrow, tracing his scar.

You try lightening the mood again, and tell him, of course, you can also go on about how he’s a dumb badass if he’d prefer. Newly recomposed, he swats away your hand and moves away to drink some more from his bottle, and he tells you to shut up. A while later though, you’re both back to laughing when the subject is changed. This memory stays somewhere in the back of your mind, a hazy memory you forget to remember when you leave the school for the summer.

He never forgets, though.

Part 2: TBC

#bully game #bully cce #bully gary #bully #canis canem edit #ccedit #cce gary #gary smith x reader #gary smith #cw homophobia #tw homophobia #period typical homophobia #bigotry

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