#perhaps there is a small animal in me screaming that thats how the world is; that it will always be dog eat dog; everyone waiting for you
SEEING UR TAGS MADE ME MAKE A NOISE THATS JUST THE SCREAMING CAT IMAGE, IM??? FDKJHDF VERY GLAD MY SILLY LITTLE ART MADE UR BRAIN GO BRRRRR BUTBUT OK IDEA FOR YOU- the drawings were based off of the episode where scott gets boogeyman for the first time and ofc jimmy's boogey too, so you could probably do something with that and still keep it in line with the warden au!! play into the fact that scott physically could not kill jimmy because of jimmy being nice, etc, etc -screamingallium
why are you so nice?
Summary:
A hushed meeting in a glowing cave, amongst the trailing sculk and its listeners
(AO3 Link)
(2,068 words)
(I am so sorry for how long this took to get to, I had exams around when I got this ask, so i forgot to get around to it, again, sorry, but here it is!)
@screamingallium for you!
The curse was something that scratched at him beneath his skin, itching as he stalked around the forests, irritation coating his every movement. He feels a little guilty for not telling his allies of it, but he’s heard the way they've spoken about the Curse, in hushed tones that suggest a disgust for the subject. A hatred.
He hadn't brought it up with them, providing a flimsy excuse before he disappeared into the night. He was worried that if he stuck around for any longer, he would have given into the urge to enact violence, that they would be the ones on the business end of his sword rather than someone else.
He can feel the pulse of his heart, watching as it lights up the area around him with each beat, a glowing cyan filling the air around him as he continues to prowl through the trees. None of the mobs come near him, not even any phantoms despite him not sleeping for several days already. Perhaps they simply see him as another predator, another monster to roam the night. He snorts to himself, perhaps they would fit in better among the players than he thought.
He emerges from the treeline, leaving the shadowed boughs and twisting trees behind him, even as bushes snag on his clothes and threaten to pull him back, to entangle him so far within the forest that he’s not even tempted to try and escape.
A darkness in the world catches his eyes, and he pauses, the silence around him echoing as he breathes, staring towards the gaping maw in the ground. It’s an unexplored cave, unusual for a server as small as this one. The borders around it are tight, they constrict and limit. Every resource is a coveted item, and each singular one is hoarded like they're wild animals, snapping and snarling at those that dare to approach it.
He enters the cave, hands brushing against the edges of it. It hums with life, sculk springing up beneath his fingers, decorating the walls in a faint glow. He’s seen lush caves, the bright glowberries and abundant moss that adorns their walls and floors, carpeting it in a soft green and illuminating it with a faint orange light.
Personally, he thinks the glow of sculk looks much more pretty, the dark carpet following behind his feet, small stems of barely budding sculk creeping up the corners, twisting around the outcrops of rock as he walks further into the cave.
It’s slightly warm, and he finds a small corner to settle down in. The sculk clusters around him, sprouting up thicker around where he’s sat, sending small, chirruping sounds in his direction. They brush up against him, and when he opens his eyes, he sees that a few sculk bunnies have appeared, snuffling over the ground around him.
He smiles at them, the action soft, scooping a few of them into his palm. They squeak a little as he does so, looking around, antennae flicking a little as they sense the air around them. Their antennae glow a little, sending out pulses to him. He grins, before sending a similar response, watching as they pause for a moment.
“Those are cute.” He startles, jerking his hand close to his chest, cupping it over the sculk bunnies. Jimmy is standing there, just beyond the curtain of sculk that has grown in front of him, peeking through one of the small gaps that remains, careful not to touch it.
“What?” He blinks a little at the man, unsure of how to interact with him. They haven't interacted much before, with him preferring to stick beside Pearl, or to roam the server at night, rather than venture into potentially dangerous situations.
“Those…little animal things you've got, they're quite cute, don't you think?” He brushes past the curtain now, and it buzzes, alerting him of an intruder they had failed to sense before. He feels his heart begin to beat again, and Jimmy must hear it too, as he pauses, staring at him for a few seconds, before apparently deciding that his life isn't that valuable, and settling beside him.
Their knees press together, and he shifts his legs away a little bit, pulling them closer to himself. “Can I see them again?” Jimmy leans forward, disregarding any need for personal space and leaning against his shoulder as he peers down at his hands, towards where they're still cupped around the sculk bunnies.
“Are you going to try and hurt them.” He frowns at him, and Jimmy looks up, aghast.
“Why would I hurt them? They're so cute.” He smiles at him, and it’s convincing enough that he slowly pries his hands open again, allowing Jimmy to look at the sculk bunnies he had hidden inside before. He leans his head forward, peering into the small bowl he’s created with his hands.
It leaves the back of his head exposed, and the annoying itch at the back of his skull whispers that it would be a perfect opportunity right here and now, he’s not expecting it, and he’s any eas target; his armour is thrown together and half-broken, scraped and dented in several places that would severely compromise the integrity of their structure.
His hand itches for a sword he didn't bring with him, leaving it discarded at the gate of his home and relying on his own presence and strength to keep any unwanted attacks away. It had worked for him so far, and he doubts that presence would have faded now.
Jimmy pulls back, removing himself from Soctt’s personal space slightly. If he were to lunge for him now, he’s not as confident that he would be able to grab him before anything happened now, he could run and alert others, and then they would avoid him even more, leaving him with the option of killing one of his own allies, or dying himself. He’d rather not risk it.
“What are they?” Jimmy’s peering at the sculk bunnies again, though not as closely this time. He releases them onto the ground, allowing them to scuttle around his feet for now.
“They're sculk bunnies.” He answers, watching as they move. Jimmy watches them too, seemingly entranced with them, watching them with wide eyes.
“Sculk bunnies?” Jimmy looks up at him for a fraction of a second before he’s looking back at the sculk bunnies again. “I've never heard of them before.”
“I don't know if that’s their actual name, but it’s what I call them- have you ever heard of sea bunnies?”
“Yeah.” Jimmy gestures down at himself. “Of course I've seen sea bunnies, these gills aren't just for show.”
“Ah.” He looks away. “Sorry for assuming.”
“It’s not a problem.” Jimmy continues to grin at him, seemingly constantly sunny, even at night. “I'm sure people have made assumptions about you before, and that one was hardly harmful. Besides, many people I know haven't seen sea bunnies before, and I'm rather certain that’s just a crime.”
“Potentially.” He concedes with a small nod. “That’s what I based their names off of anyway, they look a little bit like sea bunnies, only more sculk - sea bunnies.”
“It’s a cute name.” Jimmy coos down at one that’s approached him, slowly extending his hand. The sculk bunny presses up against his outstretched fingers, its small body beginning to pulse with several different lights and vibrations that draws several others over towards it, each of them beginning to sniff at Jimmy’s hands too.
“Seems like they like you.”
“What are they doing?” Jimmy watches them, the awestruck look on his face seemingly permanent as he looks around the small light show he’s receiving.
“Communicating.”
“Communicating?” That distracts him, drawing his gaze away from them for more than a handful of seconds. “How?”
“They can't see, yeah, so how do you think they communicate?”
“I can't say I've thought about it in depth.”
“Okay,” he scoops one up, allowing it to scurry around in his palm for a few moments, before settling, “See the antennae on its head?” Jimmy nods, watching him closely, “Basically, these send out small vibrations, each of which can be sent to another antennae, amplified and sent on again. They can pass a bunch of messages around this way and it’s really cool.”
“So they're just like speakers?”
“I don't know what speakers are.” He blinks at Jimmy, and Jimmy blinks back at him.
“They're the things that sound come out of on your comm.”
“Oh.” He pauses. “I suppose they're a little like speakers, then, if the speakers could pass on sound again and again.”
“Do they live in the sculk?” Jimmy asks, and he sets the sculk bunny down again, allowing it to rejoin the other ones gathered by Jimmy.
“They are the sculk. They're just forms of it that sprout legs when another, more powerful sculk being is around, it allows them to take form. I'm not really sure why because I've never actually met another warden, but it’s what I'm assuming.”
“Your eyes are really nice.” He blinks, staring at Jimmy for a few seconds. He feels his cheeks warm, a flush slowly spreading over his cheeks and ears, warming his face. He presses a hand against his skin, hoping to cool it down with that, glancing away.
“Wh- what? Mine?” He moves his hand a little further to the left as his flush spreads, colouring his cheeks even more as Jimmy continues to look at him.
“Mhm. They glow when you talk, have you noticed?” He leans a little closer, and he feels himself grow warmer with the proximity, continuing to look away.
“Uh, no, no I can't say I have.” He presses his palm further into his face, willing for his face to cool down again.
Jimmy hums a little. “They're really pretty anyway, like a lovely cyan. I wish I had eyes like yours.”
“People normally think they're scary.” He murmurs.
“Well I don't, the black around your eyes is almost purple too.”
“It’s the sclera.”
“It just makes your eyes stand out, and when they glow they stand out even more.”
He swallows, looking back to Jimmy with a weak smile. “Thank you. I, uh, I like your scales.” It’s Jimmy’s turn to raise a hand to his face, running his hands over the scales that litter his cheeks like freckles, some patches larger than others.
The light of the sculk makes them glow, the light reflecting off them in an almost iridescent pattern. “Oh, thank you.” Jimmy looks away, hand still on his face, fingers idly tracing patterns over his scales. “I used to hide them, before I came here, because people would point and stare.”
He frowns a little at that. “That’s…not right.”
“Neither is the hatred you receive for being a ‘hostile’ mob hybrid.” He makes air quotes around the word hostile, and it’s such a small action, but it’s one that just makes him feel warm inside. It manages to dispel the whispers at the back of his mind.
Something moves outside of the cave entrance, and the sculk flare up this time, and he pauses, eyes darting towards the entrance. They hadn't flared up for Jimmy, but no they've flared up, and his heart is beating again, and his heartbeat is echoing around the walls around him, thundering in his chest and the cave around them.
Jimmy grabs his arm, and he tenses, looking towards him.
“You should probably go.” He murmurs. Jimmy looks at him, and his eyes try to communicate something he doesn't understand, a complexity of language he hasn't unlocked yet. Jimmy releases his arm, taking a small step towards the entrance.
“I probably should. I'm sure my allies are missing me.” His voice is quiet, but he still manages to pick it up over the thundering of his heart. His hand brushes against the sculk, and all they communicate to him this time is how warm his hands are.
His shoulder feels cold as he stands there, a cold imprint in the shape of a hand left behind as he stands there. The sculk murmurs in his ears, and the whispers grow loud again, chiding him for not taking the opportunity laid before him.
He doesn't think he would have been able to bring himself to do it, even if the Curse had seized his hand in Its hold.
37 notes
·
View notes
im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone
cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications
aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)
(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)
okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)
and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)
(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)
all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way
so, like. what does that actually leave us?
here's what we do know about aelwyn:
- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration
- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world
- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"
- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)
- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents
- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life
- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her
- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine
NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)
i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be
i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?
40 notes
·
View notes
How millennial Disney star and.
'It's like a war zone': How millennial Disney star and. There are plenty of my colleagues in various places in ABC who have done some cricket and are keen to do more. Hodor hodor hodor hodor. Residents will be asked to fill give feedback in a survey before leaving to plan for next year fair.. When about to enter upon her duties, she was warned that the servants were all so thievish that she would be under the necessity, in common with all other housekeepers, of keeping everything under lock and key. Let's move onto the testing, as we know that's what everyone is here for. As Mens ADIDAS ORIGINALS Kimley Horn's Julie Beauvais puts it, giving employees a way to acknowledge a co worker "puts the feedback control in the hands of the folks who are closest to the activity".. I described the challenging conditions in Western Europe and Japan, and the gross margin pressures we faced. Big and brown puma red bull racing evo cat ii and full of fear. Everyday theres something new I find that upsets me in some way. If you feeling bloated, especially around your feet, ankles, face or fingers, you might be suffering from fluid retention. "He enjoys capturing the light of Humboldt County and the beaches," Angela said. 3. Everything in the world may perish, but we shall not perish. That is so, there’s no doubt of it. At his hip hung a sword and dagger. The Night’s Watch takes no part. The Rev.. Hickson ghete galbene piele has really found a home in Portland. They must submit to a DNA order, pay a victim of crime surcharge of $200 for each of their offences and face a 10 year firearms prohibition starting after their sentences are complete. She spoke rudely and crossly. B. Rock on.. This time the prince made friends with all his neighbours, all who were of consequence, that is, of course. "This will be our home."Although the family has received an abundance of support from neighbors, they are still in need of several items:Tops, bottoms and underwear: 2T (girl), 3T (boy), Size bikes btt usadas small or 10 (boy), medium or 12, 14 (girl), medium or 16 (girl), 10 12 (girl and boy). (What's the connection between a tie and a glass of water?) The thirsty wanderer dismisses the salesman and carries on. The tents stood in rows, with broad avenues between them. 30 giugno 2003, n. Three of them, once the queen returns. Once, when my second wife was still alive, he was caught stealing scent from her bedchamber. The Legend has great cowboy songs like "Riders in the Sky" along with classics like "Cocaine Blues." One disc includes Cash's collaborations with everyone from Bob Dylan to U2.. They fight for all of you to have the freedoms we have. We appear strong for the moment, yes. Even if you decide to follow another career path, you won't be far from the stage the rest of your life.. Drinking lots of soft drinks and beer is guaranteed to cause problems, but your saliva also contains tiny air bubbles that travel to your stomach with every swallow. There is no country in the world where the religious influence has a greater ascendency than in America. (This offer is only applicable during the 2015 Calgary Stampede and is subject to availability.). If you want to get stronger though, adding weight is essential you need progressive overload in the form of heavier weights, so hit the gym, grab a barbell or pair of dumbbells and go to town.. Though I always enjoyed gazing at the stars, I never actually seen the Milky Way in real life. So, if you are able to control your nutrition and will use the exercises above serious results are guaranteed.. My king. I have had about 20 pairs thats all i will wear since about the year 2000, my hubby said last year that they look really chavvy, why dont you try some more feminin trainers, FEMININ TRAINERS i said, although i knew what he ment, so i went and bought a pair of k swiss trainers, biciclete rusesti vechi yes they look okay, and a bit cheeper but they are not in the least bit comfy, so i went back to my nike dolce gabanna adidași bărbații air max, stuff what hubby thinks or anybody else, wear what you want and if people think they nike air jordan 1 los angeles are chavvy so what they are your feet.Without one, i'd always assume i'm reading a statement, such as the commonly used (in the North of England) Is/are it/they bllocks. People swarmed everywhere. I got what was due to man, and I was expected to do what was due from man to man. Deadline loomed on May adidas stan smith j white tactile blue 23, 2008, Ifergan made the purchase: the first ticket came in before the deadline but the ticket with the fateful numbers burped out seven seconds after the cut off.. They are studying. "Humans are just farm animals," Cain says at one point, pinning Shido body beneath his own on a bed, pouring a glass of blood into the struggling lavender haired vampire screaming mouth, "Eat as many as you want."Hey, if someone told ME to do that in HIS voice. The way was cramped and twisty, and so low that Hodor soon was crouching. You should not in any way force cortege every day. ‘You’re a base man,’ she horno teka hc 610 me blanco had said to him at parting. Taiwan was also a zealous Nike Air Max 24 7 Men Grey/Black participant in this year's shoes fair. Her brown hair was tied back in a knot.. But they also reflect light when released in the atmosphere, which keeps sunlight out and causes Earth to cool. The regular oval of his rather swarthy face, his superb teeth, his small, rather thin, beautifully chiselled lips, his rather long straight nose, his high forehead, on which no wrinkle could be discerned, his rather large grey eyes, made him handsome, and yet his face did not make a pleasant impression. “I earned my spurs in Dorne. I did not do none of that, Oakley said. Clarke: (sighs) I'm never going to understand you and I don't want to anymore. I noticed that she was making great effort to suppress her emotion, as though too proud to let me see it. Perhaps he should have asked the washerwoman. His braid was black and shiny, his skin as dark as burnished copper, his eyes the shape of bitter almonds. I didn't even think he drank. If you're suffering from osteoarthritis in your hands, it certainly has nothing to do with this nervous tic. I proved it to him, even from his own point of view. After it had been parked on the driveway for hours. The ball kept Vijay thinking, and after depositing Lyon for one straight six, he fell when an indecisive drive was well taken by Henriques at a shortish mid off.. Vincent de Paul of Philadelphia, National Federation of the legjobb kutyaruha esőkabát Blind, and Military Order of the Purple Heart.. "Max is formulating a plan that will start moving people with a minimum of cost," said Rob Lippincott, owner of G restaurant and one of SSCA's organizers. 0: The Chieftains fell to 2 5.St. Here, Shakespeare's words may be appropriate: there are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes. We still have a ton to play for and we're excited about that.". You can find the highest level of customer service coupled with a secure payment system that makes A2zShoes store a special choice for buying your sports footwear. It a great family event!. In all, the Census counted 13,404 Native Hawaiians and other Pacific Islanders last year (including 4,145 children in Oregon), still just 0.35 percent of the state's population.
1 note
·
View note
🌙TROUBLE🌙
arón piper imagine
🌼@bbaronpiper and I wanted to try something and got some basic keywords for a story and both of us wrote our own interpretation! A so seen little project🌼 hope you like it🌸
and check out her story as well TROUBLE
also check out her writings, shes amazing! @bbaronpiper
*
*
friday july 12th 2019
„Have you ever considered becoming a vegan officer?" you asked the tall handsome cop who sitting in front of you.
He looked at you in disbelief before speaking up:"Y/n, its one thing being a proud vegan but its another thing to carry out violet actions against Mr. Rodriguez. You overreacted and you have to deal with the consequences."
You scoffed and leaned back against your chair.
„And how long is that going to take here?"
He slowly lifted himself up from the wooden chair and turned to you once again, saying:"Apologize to him and maybe he wont sue you."
You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in front of your chest.
He was the one who had provoked you by pushing you out of the way, making you fall. You had just asked him what that had been for and he had responded:"Get out of the way little girl. Maybe go to school instead of protesting against something you cant stop. Maybe eating some meat wouldnt harm you."
And yes maybe you had overreacted by kicking him in his left leg. But how were you supposed to know he had just had surgery?
When you had heard about the protest against animal cruelty in the middle of Madrid you had immediately called your best friend to tell her to make some signs.
And that said friend was now hiding somewhere, just as the cops had arrived she left you alone and ran.
In that very moment you could've screamed but you were too busy trying to hide. But they caught you eventually, thats why you were here.
„Alright Ms. Y/l/n, we only need your personal details and then you can go. You will receive a letter from us in the next week."
You looked up and listened to the police man talking to you. Then you grabbed your bag that's been sitting on the floor throughout this time and walked outside.
„Alright, sit down." An older woman ordered you.
You unwillingly sat down on another chair in the main area of the police station.
There were two other people you noticed. A young girl, maybe around the age of 11 who had probably lost her parents in the city. And a rather damaged boy your age, perhaps a little bit older, who had scars in his face.
Your gaze fell to his hand that had bleeding knuckles.
He noticed your stare and looked at you.
He didnt look very charming you figured. He looked pretty serious and was probably one of those guys that got into fights on the regular or maybe even did drugs.
„Full name." the unpleasant female cop yelled at you.
You looked at her and then took a deep breath. Your parents would kill you, but you had no choice, you were already in deep shit.
„Y/n (y/m/n) y/l/n)" you spoke and looked to the ground.
The lady mustered you and eventually wrote down the information.
„Birthday", „Place of birth" , „family status (parents names and birthdays)" and other personal information followed. You unwillingly answered each time.
Great, now you were officially fucked.
„Wait here." She said after she slammed the „questionnaire" on the front desk where a young woman took it and started typing something on her computer.
So you just sat there for what felt like an eternity until another police officer entered the room and grabbed a chair to sit in front of the guy with the bruises.
„Alright. So, beating up teenagers is now cool or why did you do it?" he asked him while leaning back.
The guy just laughed and then replied:"First of all, they are not teenagers, they are over 18. And second, this fucker wanted to rob me. I just defended myself."
You listened interested until they both looked at you, making you look away rapidly.
„So you're saying that this boy who is about 5'6 wanted to rob a man who already has a criminal record?"
The guy nodded and added:"I know how this sounds but look what he did to me! The guy can do karate. I just hit back to run away."
The officer took a long breath in before answering:"Well too bad you got caught and are already very well known here Arón."
The guy suddenly looked very mad again and leaned towards the old police man.
„I didnt fucking start this!"
The man got up, put the chair back to its original position and said:"I'll get the report ready Mr Piper."
The guy cursed and then leaned back against the wall.
You were looking at his face. The bruises you had noticed before looked very fresh, there was still some liquid blood in them. But in general he was quite handsome. He had a sharp jaw, a very chiseled face structure and a shaved head. He looked like a criminal, judging from how the criminals on tv look like.
„Qué??" he then asked, making you snap out of your thoughts.
„Uh nothing." you replied and coughed.
You turned your face away from him.
„First time in trouble huh?" he asked and you could hear the grin in his tone.
You looked back at him, looked him up and down and replied sassy:"Duh."
He chuckled at you.
Then he spoke:"Welcome to the real world."
You had to laugh at his word choice. Next he sat up right.
„Did you beat him up?" you then asked out of curiosity.
„Arón" stared right into your eyes and eventually stated:"Did you kick the man out of nowhere?"
You responded with a small laugh. „Yeah." he just claimed and looked around.
„I'm fucked." you mumbled after a couple of seconds.
You could feel him looking at you. „Nah the first time isnt as bad. Plus, you just kicked someone, you didnt kill anyone."
Your head shot around. „Ah someone knows his way around huh?"
Arón chuckled again. „Nah. Not yet." he smiled.
You noticed a little gap between his front teeth. He didnt look as dangerous when he smiled.
„You know I'm good at assuming things about people. And you dont seem like a killer girl." he suddenly said.
You smiled and scanned his face secretly.
„What do I seem like then?"
He grinned and the next thing he did was stare you up and down for a bit. Until he finally spoke:"Rich girl, who lives with her parents. She likes to say what she thinks and sometimes gets into fights because of that. But she's never been arrested before so mommy and daddy are going to ground you for that."
You scoffed at him.
But he wasn't completely wrong.
„Well. Okay." was all you could say. He was pretty right about his statement.
After sitting in the hall for a little, the old officer finally came back and handed you your ID.
„You can go."
You got up and grabbed your bag with your left hand.
„Hey princess, tell mommy and daddy I'm sorry for their criminal daughter." you heard Aróns voice as you wanted to leave the police station.
„Ha ha very funny." you replied and faked a smile that turned into a frown.
„Hey girly, can I crash at your mansion some time?" he yelled after you.
„Sure. But I wont tell you where I live." you grinned and looked at his expression.
He looked chill despite the fact that he was in trouble like you had been.
„Dont worry, I'll find you."
You nodded unbelieving and then finally kept walking.
Now you had to explain to your parents why you were late, and why you were expecting a letter from the police. Fuck.
•
•
You somehow managed to tell your parents exactly how it happened without being yelled at. They believed that it wasn't completely only your fault yet they werent happy about the fact that you ended up at the police. But on the other hand you had never had any problems with the law before and you were usually a good girl, so they werent worried as much as expected. You hadnt told them about the lawsuit yet though. That was a future problem.
As it was now the next day you were just at home, finishing some assignments for your second year of college that would start next week.
You had taken a shower after dinner and then went to your room to watch a show before heading to bed.
To be honest, you had almost forgotten about the whole lawsuit thing when you went to bed that night. It got late, you got stuck with the newest season of your favorite show and actually fell asleep at around 1:30.
A loud noise woke you from your sleep and you sat up right, looking around all confused.
Your room was completely dark besides the streetlights from outside your window.
You heard the knock again and a shockwave went right through your body. Where did it come from? The house was all silent since your parents' bedroom was downstairs and your sister was sleeping at her boyfriends' almost every night.
Slowly you made your way threw the hallway checking where the noise came from. Your first thought was that it was probably the neighbors cat in the backyard or something but then you realized the bangs came from the bathroom.
You grabbed the first thing near you which was a vase that had been standing on a little table in the hallway.
Eventually you walked to the bathroom and turned on the light.
You got scared immediately as you saw a face in front of the window.
After looking at the person you realized it was the guy from the police station. You closed the bathroom door and unlocked the window.
„What the fuck are you doing here?" you whisper yelled.
The guy climbed into the room. He was wearing a black hoodie with some dark grey sweatpants and a black beanie. „You said i could sleep here if I found you. And i did."
You were actually creeped out. So you just stared at him until your confidence came back. „How did you fucking find my house?" you asked and pushed him back a little bit. He grinned and leaned against the sink. „I stole the paper with your information."
Your eyes widened. „You what??" you asked him in disbelief. „You're welcome. Now they got nothing against you. For the police you dont exist."
You didnt know if you should thank him for it or hit him in the face for doing such a stupid thing. What if the police thought you stole it? „So where can i sleep then?" he asked you and took a look around. His bruises were still visible but now looked a lot more clean and healed.
„Uh." you stuttered and thought about his question.
„My parents are right downstairs. You cant just sneak in here and expect me to offer you my bed. I dont know you, you could be a psycho!" He laughed at you and stepped closer to you. You were intimidated because you couldnt step back any farther. Your back was already touching the wall next to the bathtub.
„I wont hurt you, I just need a place to sleep." You looked right into his eyes that were only inches away from yours.
He was so close he could probably hear your heart pound. It was about to jump out of your chest. You then offered him to sleep on the small couch in your room, if he promised to disappear before your parents found out.
So you passed him a blanket and two pillows and finally turned off the light the second time this night.
„Goodnight." you automatically whispered. You heard a little chuckle from the other side of the room before he whispered back a quiet:"Gracias."
•
When you woke up a couple of hours later your room was lightened by the sun. You rubbed your eyes and sat up. You almost had a little heart attack when you saw someone laying on your couch. But then you remember what happened only 4 hours before. The guy who's name you werent sure about -was it Arón?- was sleeping peacefully, his closed eyes facing you. You noticed he had taken off his shirt. You didnt see his stomach but you could see his naked, muscular arms over the blanket. And you saw some tattoos on them. And a small tattoo on his chest.
He looked quite cute when he was sleeping.
You then checked your phone and thought about what you'd do today until you heard footsteps coming upstairs.
Your mom! She always says goodbye before work. Its like a mother-daughter tradition because once when you were a kid and she didnt say bye you had a panic attack because you thought something happened to her. You jumped up from the bed towards the couch.
„Wake up! Wake up! You gotta hide, my mom's coming!" you shook him to wake him up. He replied with a raspy groan and eventually opened his eyes.
„Huh?" he asked confused looking at you. -„Hide! My mom!" You whispered and waited for him to get in the closet.
But since he took so long realizing what was going on, it happened what had to happen.
Your mom was standing in your room, staring at both of you. You in your oversized shirt and no pants and this strange boy shirtless. You were fucked.
„Uhh y/n?" she asked and looked at you in confusion.
You were all staring each other down until Arón spoke up:"Mrs. Y/l/n, im so sorry. My name is Arón, I'm your daughters boyfriend." He shook her hand smiling. Your mother on the other hand looked confused as hell. Just as you. Did he just call himself your boyfriend?
„Oh. I didnt know she had a boyfriend." Your mom replied and then actually chuckled. She laughed! She wasnt mad?
„I have to go to work now but nice to meet you Arón. See you later honey, i think we have to talk."
She said after none of you said anything.
„Likewise" Arón spoke before your mom left your room and closed the door.
„What the hell?" you yelled at him and lightly punched him in the chest.
„I had no choice. What do you want me to do? Say that I broke in here because we met at the police station?"
You ran your hand through your hair and then said:"Please go. I'm in enough trouble already. Please leave."
He nodded, then grabbed his sweater and put it back on.
„Can i sleep here tonight too? I dont really know where to go." he asked while picking up his things.
You rolled your eyes but nodded softly.
„Thank you!" He smiled and came up to you.
„Sure." you replied and crossed your arms.
He opened the door to your room and whispered a „see you tonight" before finally leaving your house.
You didnt really trust this guy. Something about him was off but you didnt know quite yet what it was.
•
•
Arón's been crashing at your place for a week now and a lot of weird things happened inbetween. You only saw him at night when he climbed through your bedroom or the bathroom window. Then you usually went to bed and in the morning he left. You never knew where he went and you also didnt know why he couldnt sleep at his parents'.
Your mom and dad had both talked to him before and actually believed he was your boyfriend. Around them he acted like an angel but you knew he wasnt. I mean, he's never insulted you or been rude but he certainly wasnt an example of a good guy.
One night as you were sleeping, him laying on your couch, you were woken by someones voice talking in your room.
Arón was walking around your carpet, speaking into his phone loudly.
„Whats up?" you whispered and looked at him all sleepy.
He showed you he needed a second and kept discussion in spanish.
He was pretty loud and you were worried your parents might wake up from his voice. And he seemed mad, almost aggressive.
He then hung up and before you knew, he slammed his phone on the wall. It broke immediately, shocking you intensely.
„Jeez what the fuck!" you spoke and got up from the bed.
Arón in the meantime put on his jacked and wanted to walk out of the room but you chased him, trying not to make too much noise walking downstairs.
„Where are you going?" you asked.
„I need to see someone before this certain person wakes your parents." he boldly spoke and opened the front door.
You were only wearing shorts and a top and it was chilly outside. But you were far too concerned to grab a jacket.
You closed the door behind you and ran after him.
„Y/n go to bed." he then ordered as he kept walking.
„No i need to know whats happening."
He scoffed at you and finally stopped as you both reached a person standing around the corner.
Aron was just standing there staring at the dark dressed man.
You were right behind him, carefully taking a look.
„Arón." the guy finally spoke and came up to you both, grabbing aron by the jacket.
„What do you want?" arón asked the man, sounding as if he was about to rip his head off.
„Needed to see you little brother." the guy replied and then noticed you hiding behind Aróns back.
„Oh got yourself a girlfriend huh?" he grinned and walked around him to get closer to you.
„Hey you." he smiled and reached out to touch you but you backed off and mustered him.
„She's hot." the guy then said and turned around to arón again.
„What the fuck are you doing here Juan?" Arón finally spoke up. „Taking you home. Mom is worried about you."
Aron laughed fake before claiming:"Oh really?"
Juan stepped right in front of Aron and looked at him.
„I like your new haircut brother. You look like a prisoner."
Arón didnt reply, he clenched his fist as if he was about to hit.
„If you keep going like that, you will be soon." Juan added and smiled at him.
„Fuck off im not coming home." arón mumbled and wanted to step back but Juan grabbed his arm and answered:"You. Are coming with me. Because I say so."
Aron freed his arm and yelled:"Get out of my life."
You just watched as they were yelling at each other. The reason for Aróns stubbornness wasnt quite clear for you until he said one specific thing:"Mom and Dad dont want me back! All they want was you. You're the only son they ever wanted."
He was jealous of his big brother.
What you figured out from their conversation, Juan was a troublemaker himself but then started studying and was now about to be a lawyer. Apparently their parents had always supported him, even though he used to be in deep shit often times. Arón kept claiming that he was „nothing to their parents".
At some point the situation escalated and Juan grabbed Aron rather harshly and Aron pushed him back. Which made Juan fall to the ground, hitting his head on the concrete.
Juan looked even more furious than Aron then.
He got up again and basically jumped arón.
You felt useless, watching those brothers fight in the middle of the streets.
But suddenly you decided to do something.
You went up to them and jumped on Arons back to make him stop.
„Stop this shit before someone calls the cops!" you tried to calm them down.
But Aron was so furious he threw you right off.
You landed on your back rather harshly, moaning out in pain. It had been really fucking painful.
He didnt even notice that he had hurt you, they kept yelling at each other until you heard police sirens getting closer.
Juan seemed to notice as well and let go of Aron.
„You know what, fuck you! You're useless to this family. Come back after achieving something!" Juan yelled and just disappeared between the streetlights and the bushes.
„Fuck." Aron cursed and finally turned around to you.
„Run!" he then said as the police car turned around the corner.
You got up in pain and grabbed his reached out hand.
„Faster!" he told you and pulled you with him as he was running super fast. You almost stumbled over your own feet.
„Where?" you just asked and concentrated on running as fast as you could.
Usually you hated running but right now it felt good. Free kind of. You had never run from the cops, especially not with a known criminal who wasnt as bad as you thought.
„Fuck, run faster." he yelled but you couldnt go any faster.
Eventually he let go of you to make you jump into a bush.
The cops were right behind you but didnt seem to notice you hiding, they ran past you after Aron.
And aron on the other hand did something you hasnt expected. He stopped running.
He turned around and put his hands up in the air.
What the fuck was he doing?
The police reached him and put him in a secure grip in a fast motion. He couldve gotten away easily if he hadnt stopped!
They grabbed him by the arm and pulled him through the alley of trees towards the police car.
You looked him straight in the eyes as they walked past you. He inconspicuously smiled at you.
What was he doing?
As they sat him in the police car you slowly got out of the bush.
So you just stood there. They couldve seen you but you didnt care, you just wanted to see what was happening.
Some of your neighbors were outside looking as well.
Before the car took off you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket.
Who would text you at 3am?
You took it and opened the message.
You started to smile and looked up to see him smiling at you from the police car.
Arón:"Can I crash again when I get out?"
⭐️
31 notes
·
View notes
The Return- Part Three
Okay y'all so here it is!! Part 3 of the Return series!!! Ivar and reader relationship developmentttttt💕 Hope you guys like itttt :) Lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged too. And don't kill meeeee pleaseee 😂
Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10
Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @camatsuru @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit
Disclaimer: My sucky writing again. Bad grammar and spelling😂 Character death. And bad plot in general.
Your POV
Excitement. Thats all I could say I was feeling at the moment. To finally be back in Kattegat with my family was something I never thought would have happened again. After my father’s grand announcement of my return, the room overflowed with happiness. People were coming up to me, asking me where I had been for the past 6 years and how I had survived. Obviously, I tried to answer everyone’s questions to the best of my ability without giving too much information. For I still didn't know, the true reason as to why I had to leave or who wanted me gone.
The happiness in the hall however did not last very long. Aslaug, the woman who was questioning Bjorn earlier that night. Was actually my father’s wife. “Im sorry? She's your what now?!?!” Aslaug screams of sorrow over my existence could probably be heard all the way in Frankia. My father however, seemed to have very little interest in her reactions at all. He had cast her to the side as if she meant nothing to him. During the course of the next few hours neither my father nor Bjorn left my side. It was as if they thought something would occur to me if I was out of their side for more than a second. “Father, if it is alright with you I would like to go outside for some fresh air.” I tell him, whilst grasping his hand to truly catch his attention. Cupping my face he says “My sweet little girl, you may do anything you please. However, I would prefer that you do not stray too far from here, as I have just gotten you back. And I would not be able to handle losing you again.” With that he gives me a kiss on my forehead and sends me on my way.
However, I can still feel the overbearing presence of my older brother. “Bjorn, you know Im not gonna run away, if thats what you're afraid of.” I tell him whilst stepping outside. “Im not afraid of you running away. Im afraid of something happening to you (y/n). Plus worrying about you is my job, always has been.” Leaning on one of the wooden beams, I cant help but to stare up at the sky and hold my cross between my fingers. Thinking to myself how different life would have been if I had not left. “ Im only a few steps away shout if anything happens. Okay?” “Okay! And Bjorn... I love you.” At that Bjorn kisses my forehead and walks back inside.
Unbeknownst to me, a certain dark haired man was lurking in the shadows. “Awwww, If I had a heart I would think that was probably the sweetest reunion Ive ever seen.” Turning to the sound of that familiar voice, I see Ivar leaning on his crutch making his way towards me. “I never thought that I would have a sister. And a Christian one at that.” The way that his eyes scan over my body makes me feel a certain way that I cannot quite describe. And the way that his features are outlined by the moonlight really gives a sense of how handsome he is. “Wait, are you implying that...”
“Well, if all Christians are as slow as you I don't think we’ll have a problem conquering them.” A smirk is displayed on his face, while his eyes show a hint of deviance in them. “Why do you think that Bjorn and Ubbe look so much alike (y/n)?” “Or the fact that we all share similar traits like our eyes?” As Ivar continues to talk down to me as if I were a child, I start to connect the dots. Why it was that Bjorn and Ubbe look alike. The way that they all seem to share the same traits as my father. The four young men that Bjorn introduced me too, are actually my brothers.
With wide eyes I come to the realization that...“You’re my brother.” “Took you long enough.” At that Ivar seems to crack what looks like a genuine smile. “You know, I always thought that I was the youngest, but now that I'm not...” The genuine smile I had probably imagined was now a devious one. “ Now, baby sister. Why don't you and I go and sit down by those steps down there. And you can tell big brother Ivar, what you've been up to all this time?” Without being able to answer, Ivar grabs my hands and takes me towards the steps. Why do I feel like this night is just getting started...
-----------------------------------------
Ivar POV
Needless to say all of us were in shock to learn that (y/n) was our sister. Especially Hvitserk, who had not only been enchanted by her beauty, but was already planning how he would take her from Bjorn. I however, knew something was up the minute I saw her in the great hall. She had no scars whatsoever on her body, meaning she wasn't a shield-maiden. And absolutely no callouses on her fingers from when she took the ale, meaning she definitely wasn't a thrall. And Bjorn wouldn't cheat on Torvi, unless he wants his balls cut off. Something intrigued me about her instantly. It was if she had been sent to me by the Gods, her sharp tongue reminded me of mine. The way that she stood up for my mother not even knowing that she had caused Lagertha and Ragnar to break up amazed me. The way she handled herself with grace and dignity was exactly what I wanted. No, what I need for in a wife.
“Ivar, are you okay? You've been staring at me for the past 5 mins without saying a word.” (y/n) places her hand on my knee to draw my attention whilst looking straight into my eyes. “As a matter of fact, Im trying to piece together, how we’re the same age, and we never met before you left.” As she goes to lift her hand from my knee, something instinctively goes over me and I grab her and hold it were it was. The initial shock she and I both had at my actions soon subsided. She let her hand rest under mine. As if we had done this countless times before, our fingers intertwined and they in my eyes fit perfectly. I could see the inner turmoil inside her, on whether these small affectionate moments between us were something that was so wrong, but that felt so right.
It was not just moments ago that I had found out she was indeed my sister. Blood of my blood. But somehow, something in me told me that we were meant to be. I felt safe and strangely loved by this person in front of me, whom I have never met before. “You know Ivar, we lived on a farm. I was 100% certain that I would be a farm girl for the rest of my life. I was content with knowing that I would spend my life tending to the animals and my family. But, this is just too much.” Looking down at where our once intertwined hands were. I see that she is now staring at the ground playing with the ends of her long braided hair. “Why? Because you feel as if you're not good enough? Look at me for Odin’s sake! Im a cripple!” At that moment our eyes connected and I saw a reflection of myself in her. A scared child who was deprived of a normal childhood. Seeking for acceptance and love from anyone.
“(Y/n), come inside father wishes to speak to you.” Bjorn says coming out from the great hall ale in hand. Clearly drunk as well. “Sure thing, I’ll be there in a second.” As she goes to stand up (y/n) turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you for the pep talk, big brother.”
I knew that I could not be the only one feeling this way. She had to have been feeling the same about me. And I will go to the ends of the world and face the God’s themselves if they think that for a second I will not make her mine.
Your POV
What had I just done! I kissed him whether it be on the cheek or not. I kissed Ivar. My brother. Oh lord, forgive me for these sinful thoughts are consuming me. The intense feeling I got from us holding hands and from when he stared into my eyes. I had felt at home. Felt safe, felt something that I should only be feeling for the man I should marry. Not my brother! As I enter the great hall, all eyes turn on me. Remembering what I had just talked to Ivar about, I keep my head up. I shouldn't be ashamed, or feel as if I'm less than I am.
As I make my way to my father through the crowd once he spots me his eyes light up immediately. Sitting on his thrown he extends his hand and makes me sit on the throne beside his. “My beautiful daughter are you feeling alright now?” He says to me a little louder as if to make sure that people know not to mess with me. “Y..yes father Im feeling much better.” I murmur to him. At that moment my eyes trail off as if to find something that would take me out of this position right now. I have never been one to be the centre of attention. And as much as I wanna believe in myself that I can be a good princess to my people, at the moment that is not going to happen. As I scan the room my eyes land on Hvitserk. He’s eating a piece of chicken las if it were his last meal ever. I cannot help, but to laugh at him and that when he notices. He flashes a smile that could certainly melt any lady’s heart. Without realizing I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and bit my lip. Biting my lip when Im nervous is something Ive always done.
However, what did not realize was Ivar eyeing me from behind him. At that I stop and stare at the ground. As the hours go by, finally the last person leaves the great hall. Leaving only my father and brothers with me. “Sooooo, where is (y/n) supposed to sleep, father?” Asks Ubbe. Coming from behind me Hvitserk puts his arm around my shoulders bringing me closer to his body. “She can sleep with me! I don't mind sharing my bed with her.” At this Ivar scoffs. “Of course you wouldn't, you wouldn’t mind sharing your bed with anything that has a pulse.” I tilt my head trying to figure out whatever he means by that. And all that can be heard is the snickering of my father.
“I was thinking that perhaps I could sleep with Bjorn. You know since we used to share a room when we were little...” I say wishing that what I feel most comfortable with could be taken into account. “I don't know about that one baby sis, you'd have to ask Torvi. She defiantly doesn't like sharing thats for sure.” as Ivar says this he smirks at me while taking bite out of his apple. “Who’s Torvi?” “Wait! Bjorn didn't tell you? He's married.”
At that moment a scream was heard throughout the town.
“Oh My God, Mira!!!!” at that moment I shot out of Hvitserk’s arms and ran as fast as I could. How could I have been so stupid that I left my friend by herself in an unknown place. Seeing the people gathered around Bjorn's cabin only made my heart more nervous. Pushing my way past the crowd I make it up the steps in one piece. But what I saw would forever haunt me. There on the floor lied my once best friend and most trusted subject Mira. And on her back was carved the death rune. All I remember is hitting the floor and watching a pair of worried and frantic electric blue eyes.
88 notes
·
View notes
June 27th-July 3rd, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 27th, 2020 to July 3rd, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:
If you could do your webcomic for a living, how would that change things in regards to how you work on it (if at all)?
Deo101 [Millennium]
I'd definitely put out more content, cause I could focus on it fully every day of the week.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i would probably start hating it and get burnt out
Deo101 [Millennium]
thats why I would also have to start another comic or do short stories on the side or something, too.
I would probably keep individual comics update schedules the same, I'd just do more comics
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
If it became a part-time job, I don't think anything would change. It kind of feels like that already. If I were in a position where it became a full-time job, I do dread how my relationship with the work would change. I don't think I could ever make as much doing comics as I do in my day job (which isn't crazy, but is comfortable) so I don't know if I could ever 100% transition unless it was really, really worth it It's something I've thought about a lot, for sure.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
In a way, my comic is my full-time job? I don't make very much money with it, but I do put over 40 hours a week into it, and I don't have another job. I am in the very fortunate position of having an SO who is able to support me financially while I try to get my footing with my passion. If I was depending on it for a paycheck though, the main thing that would change is my style would probably get simpler, because there is no way I can make enough pages a week otherwise.
Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS
It is really the dream to be able to do it! Right now I am unemployed, so I basically treat the comic as my fulltime job, until I find the next short project. I want to be able to work on it full time! In Denmark there are some cool possibilities to get funding from the government and I hope we can get enrolled with some of those programs with our comic.
I would also just love to do small videos, podcasts, animations etc. Small fun projects
Mitzi (Trophallaxis)
If I had to do it full time, I think i'd put a LOT more hours into learning how to paint, watching speedpaints, ect. It'd also make a huge difference in my living situation, as the first thing I'd honestly do with a full time at-home job is move to another city with cheaper rent. Another state, maybe! Oh, and I'd do a lot more promo work. posters and animations are fun, but they're not quite worth it with an audience consisting of two my writing partner's friends, and my older brother.
Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho
the biggest difference, I suppose, would be that I would make a lot more pages, a lot faster. But I like it that it's been pointed that the relationship with work changes when you have to do things full time, so there may be some unpredictable variables there
eliushi [Keyspace]
For a living for me can mean many different things: able to sustain living expenses vs full-time. There’s overlap but one gives financial security meaning an element of creative freedom. The opposite end will probably entail working on other comic projects with the current one as a passion story on the side (no change but probably might not want to draw so much after drawing for work!) If we’re discussing the ability to do the webcomic full time without financial worries then I do believe my output will increase but also I will be dedicating more time to the craft (studying story structures, art directions etc) as well as marketing/joining professional associations/pitching/connections. There are a lot of career options within the comic world and I’d love to explore everything before deciding what’s best for the current story. Ultimately if I were to do this as a living, I’d treat it like any other job: a routine, a strive for improvement, and wellness to recharge. I follow several artists not only for their art but also their schedule/workflow to see what worked for others. It’s very interesting!
In reality though, I might work on smaller scale projects on the side to build up the experience and platform needed to tell the story of Keyspace. As a full time comic creator, I’ll be seriously thinking to covert the seven novel series into a hug comic project. So TL;DR if full time, I make more pages
varethane
I'm in an odd place with my comic because.... well, I sort of had an opportunity to spend all of my time on it for a few months, when I was in between contracts at work. But I found that I wasnt getting it done all that much faster than I did when also working full time
To be fair, it's kind of hard to compare my speed between the three periods, because when I returned to work after a few months away, it was after work from home had started and now I no longer have a commute, so perhaps my ability to squeeze comic pages into my free time has expanded.... but I feel like my attention span caps out around 8 hours on any single task
So I didnt work that much faster. But... I'm also bad at keeping track. I could be wrong.
Yung Skrimp (Carefree)
8 hours is a long attention span
varethane
It's not all in one go, haha.
eliushi [Keyspace]
I definitely have to take breaks between pages, whether or not I have just a few minutes to a chunk of hours
It’s about finding a balance that works for you!
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I don't think I could put more hours daily into my comic than I currently do. I have a chronic issue with my drawing shoulder, so my body won't be able to handle that much work. Probably wouldn't be great for my eyes, either. I also don't know if I want my livelihood to depend on how many people like my story. This story is a pair of custom-tailored skinny jeans for my heart (and I have an unusual body type, making it impossible to wear skinny jeans regardless of size). It's a story I want to read. It's meant to fit ME. I don't want to worry about how to also make it fit a bunch of other people.
That being said, some people do find themselves in a situation where they're making something they want to read, and a bunch of other people just happen to like it, too. I think that would be nice
chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]
I physically can‘t draw for more than four, five hours a day, found that out the hard wayy
eliushi [Keyspace]
I most recently developed pain likely due to RSI and have made accommodations since then but yeah it was scary to think that I have a limit in drawing time. Gotta find ways to take care of yourself for the long run
cAPSLOCK (Tailslide)
I think if comics were my only job, I'd feel a lot more anxious about what I create, and would struggle to work consistently. Having another pursuit makes me feel like I have more freedom to experiment, learn, and make what I want to make.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
That's a really good point keii
Would drawing a comic for a living push me to change it to have more mass appeal?
I don't know but it is definitely possible and would be on my mind
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
It is the dream, if I could get a decent monthly wage on my comic, yes I will dedicate more time, work out a better schedule. Get an editor and colourist on board to help make a polished series. Altho I'm still doing this method to build good working habits But I agree with Eli's point, have to assign days for breaks for myself to prevent RSI. At present I have a trained mindset to work on schedules, but I may feel the pressure to produce as fast as I could.(edited)
Desnik
Well, for starters, my comic would actually be released somewhere, so it'd be nice if it made something back for me
Miranda
I’d actually release it. And work on it regularly, instead of sporadically like I have been! I’d definitely be more critical of what I was doing, and probably way more anxious every time I posted.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
You know, when I was only like 6 years old, I was like "I don't want to be an artist when I grow up. I love art too much, and I don't want to burn out and stop enjoying it. So I'm gonna be a singer instead." I have no idea how 6-year-old me knew about burnout, but I definitely remember saying that in response to an adult asking something like "what do you wanna be when you grow up"/ "wow, you're drawing all the time; do you want to become an artist?"
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
The more I do comics the more I think I want to do art stuff as part of my main career. I would love to make sequential art that's for science purposes
sagaholmgaard
Ah that would be the dream! I'd probably feel more secure in my ability to build up a backlog of pages, and be able to make more extra content for the PDF version! And more content for instagram and twitter as well
kayotics
If I were to be able to do comics full time I think it would completely change my current lifestyle. Not even money wise but I’d need to switch up a lot of things. Like make sure I get a good amount of exercise in. I’d probably add in another page a week, but then use the rest of my week to project manage the comic, and promote my work. I’d spend a lot of other time working on creating an online store, because I can’t see the comic working full time without some supplemental merch keeping me afloat. And I’d also use that time to create and work on another comic series I think.
Yung Skrimp (Carefree)
If I were to do comics full time I’d flex on everyone I know
Feather J. Fern
If I was able to do comics full time, be able to pay off debts, substain rent and food, and extra saved for small spluges, I will shove my comic in my family's face(I got a family who doesn't believe in me at all), dancing around screaming "I MADE IT IN LIFE" And then jump out the window because haha this can't be a reality because I don't think I will ever make it in comics. I will still keep my other job of working at a library and drawing on the side becuase I want working job insurance and also I am the type who wants to save all their money if possible(edited)
eliushi [Keyspace]
I was on board until jumping out the window
Yung Skrimp (Carefree)
I wasn't on board until jumping out the window
Now I am
Moral_Gutpunch
If I could do this for a living, I could do so much. I could afford to put my mother ina home, start my dream farm and start a bunch of conservation as well, I could help my husband fund his own sidegig, and I could afford to foster pets like I always wanted.
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Personally, if I was able to do it I would be a lot more invested in it. I would also make a lot less excuses as to why I'm not practicing as much; it took a pandemic to happen for me to dry taking it more seriously!
I think overall I might have been more happy.
On the other hand, there's also the danger of burnout, of constantly doing the same thing over and over again for me. I'm the type that needs constant change, so I think I'm more suited to having another occupation be my main profession while comics/art would be a secondary one, where I don't have as much pressure. Furthermore, it's also my backup plan in case anything happens to my main job.
Moral_Gutpunch
^ This. I'd be focusing so much more on comics. And I'd be expanding into more comics and writing more stories. I'd be happier I'm writing more, but more frustrated at writers block
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
Man if I could do it full time, might be able to pull more page updates and actually get deep into doing some long term projects I had planned for years. I won't have much of an issue as long i can also do my zine projects on the side. also would be nice to have some job insurance too along with it lmao. the only danger that could take it away if I get incapacitated for no reason lmao
TaliePlume
If I could do comics as my full time job would be awesome! But all that focus would go only to the comic and nothing else which is bad because I would be neglecting a lot of things and not getting other things done.
AntiBunny
I'd finally be able to tell my whole story and start telling another. It drives me crazy that I have more ideas than I can pursue.
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
In terms of my actual production, I'm not sure doing my comic as a living would change much lol. I already spend upwards of 40 hours a week on it, I seriously doubt there's more I could be doing. So, earning a living off my comic would just be... one less thing to worry about.
1 note
·
View note
Rage Awakened (5)
Ten years ago, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus lost their fellow apprentice, Sora, in Deep Jungle. Now, they are to return with two new students, Riku and Kairi, to lock the heart of the world. All the while, something watches from the trees. Feral!Sora AU
@chachacharlieco @violetstar-writes
Ao3 | FF.net
—
As they had every day, the group woke up in the morning and descended from the treehouse, creating their plan for the day.
“Alright,” began Terra. “Since we have to wait for Tarzan before we can go to the waterfall, our next step is looking for Sora, I guess. Ven and I will try over by the lagoon, Riku and Kairi try to treetops, and Aqua will stay behind at camp in case Tarzan comes for us.”
“Why does Aqua get to stay behind?” Asked Riku, sensibly.
“Because Ventus is still in his exam, and you would just sleep the whole time.”
“Fair.”
“Everyone got a radio?”
They all held up their appropriate walkie-talkies.
“Good, then let’s—“
“EEP!”
One minute, Kairi was there, and the next she was gone, with only a yelp to signify her disappearance.
“Kairi?!” Riku cried out.
“What the hell was that?!” Terra shouted, after seeing a blur sweep her off her feet.
The radios blared to life. “I found him! Er—he found me! I’ll try to—“ static.
“That’s horrifying.” Said Ven.
“Okay, new plan,” declared Terra. “Ven and I will check the lagoon, Riku will check the treetops, and Aqua stays here.”
“That’s the same exact plan as before, but without Kairi.”
“Ah but this time, we’re looking for Sora and her.”
Riku scoffed and began walking off on his own.
“Remember! If you see a strange heartless, call for backup!!”
“Aye aye, Captain.” He waved back.
—
Kairi had been listening, like the good student that she was. She knew she’d be paired up with Riku again, since that’s just the way it always was.
Had she been standing a foot closer to anyone else, it may not have happened, but one second she was looking at Terra, and then she was up in the trees. An arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her tightly to a bare chest as her feet left the ground and her stomach dropped into her shoes. She didn’t even scream, just let out a yelp. It’s like she had left her voice behind.
When she gathered herself, she raised the radio.
“I found him! Er—he found me! I’ll try to get him to bring me back to camp!”
The arm around her tightened and she felt her weight shift down. Instinctively, she hugged him around the neck and then hooked her legs with his.
Looking down, she saw that he had taken her high up to the treetops, a dizzying height from the ground. She clenched her eyes shut.
Finally, they stopped, but he did not loosen the hold on her.
She finally opened her eyes, seeing that they had come to rest on a huge branch. She pulled back slightly to look at him, and likewise, he looked at her.
His eyes were blue. She had seen them before in the moonlight, but now, she could see them properly. Large, brilliant, and so so blue. His glance was tender, yet piercing, and froze her to the spot.
“Hello again...” she found was all she could say.
He didn’t respond with words, only the toothy grin that fit so well on his charming face. He leaned in, his nose touching hers in greeting.
She smiled back, shyly and unwound herself from him, only then did he finally let her go. “You know, it’s not polite to pick up a girl without her permission.” She scolded.
He frowned, but then became happy again when he realized she wasn’t mad at him.
“I really need to go back. The other’s will worry about me.”
He frowned again, his brows furrowing. “Danger.”
“Danger? Then I really need to go! They need my help!”
He grunted and stomped his foot. “Danger!”
“I know! I understand! But we need to help them! Please!”
He grabbed her arm, and shook, not enough to hurt, but just enough to get his point across.
Being a princess, Kairi was used to being benched and ‘staying safe’. But ever since she became a Keyblade wielder, she was determined to save herself. And she emphasized this by summoning her keyblade. “I can protect myself.”
He stared at it in shock.
“It’s a keyblade,” She explained. “You have one too, don’t you?”
He hesitated, but held out his hand, his blade synthesizing.
Now, Kairi had only been studying under Eraqus for about a year, and there were plenty of things she didn’t know about keyblades. But there were a few key things she had learned early on.
She knew all keyblades, save for one, were made in the realm of light. The one exception was the king’s blade, the Kingdom Key. Rather simple in design, a blade of gold with a silver hilt, with a relief of a crown at the end, it was the only keyblade of the realm of darkness. It was fabled to have a partner, the Kingdom Key of light. Though Eraqus was never able to answer when asked where it was.
As she looked at the keyblade in his hand, several thoughts passed through her head. But the most prominent, was that something was wrong. It almost looked like the King’s key, except for a silver blade and a gold hilt. But it looked sick, she surmised. Like the keyblade itself was ill, and even dying. Long, fleshy tendrils of darkness wrapped around the blade, and ended in what looked like claws. The hilt was broken and jagged, and parts even looked dissolved. The crown was struck out with an X.
Kairi touched the blade, fearful to find it colder than any keyblade she had ever touched.
“You...really are Sora, aren’t you?”
His eyes widened. “Know Sora?”
“Well, I know of you, Terra and Aqua told me about you.”
He gruffly shuffled away from her, “Danger.”
“Wait...are you saying that Terra and Aqua...are the Danger?”
“Mmm.” He hummed in confirmation.
“Oh Sora...they love you and miss you! Come on, let’s go back.”
He grunted, and if to solidify his decision, he parked it on the branch. He was acting just like a child.
It was almost adorable.
Kairi found the radio again, and called to her team. “I’m still okay, but our friend is being a little more stubborn than expected, so I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
Nothing came from the other line. She glanced at the radio, only to see no lights on it.
Dead.
“Great...They gave me the bad one.” She sighed. “Well, I guess I’m stuck with you.” She plopped down on the branch next to him.
He seemed to be in a better mood now that she had resigned, and scooted over closer to her, straddling the tree branch.
She was startled, but only for a moment, since she was being to get used to him invading her space.
He rested his hand on her heart. “Kairi,” then he mimicked the action in himself. “Sora.”
“Very good!” She praised with a little clap.
Encouraged by her praise, he leaned forward and pressed his ear to her chest.
“Are you...listening to my heart beat?”
“…heart…” He said, his voice soft and reverent. Then he sat up and gestured for her to do the same to him.
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, you got me.” She braced herself on his chest and leaned in to listen.
His heartbeat was strong and steady. Much more calm than she was feeling at the moment.
Despite the condition of his keyblade, listening to his heart was soothing, and warm.
Finally, she pulled away from him. “Very nice,” she said awkwardly.
He smiled widely.
Then, without warning, he grabbed her around the waist again and leapt from the branch. This time, she had a second to latch on before she could slip.
“Look!” He demanded, as he moved through the trees.
She didn’t really want to, afraid of how high they were, but she peeled her eyes open.
They were so high up! If he missed a vine, they would be toast.
But this didn’t seem to bother Sora at all. He laughed and hooted as he swung, calling greeting to other animals as they travelled.
Then, she noticed something out of place among the trees.
She pointed, “That’s Riku! Let’s go say hi!”
If Sora was untrusting to Terra, Aqua, and Ventus, then perhaps he’d be more welcoming to Riku. He perched them on a branch a few feet above him.
“Riku?” Sora asked.
“Yeah, he’s my friend. Our friend.”
“Friend?”
“Yes, Sora friend, Kairi friend, Riku friend!”
“Oh friend!” Sora sang, seemingly understanding.
It seemed that Riku hadn’t noticed them, as he almost fell off the branch he was resting on when they landed next to him.
“Riku!” Kairi sang.
“Oh Kairi!” He breathed in relief. “I’m so glad I found you...or you found me, I guess.”
Sora sat between them, glancing back and forth as they talked.
“Riku, this is Sora.” She introduced, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Nice to finally meet you, we’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He held his hand out.
Sora grabbed his wrist, yanking the hand closer to him to study it. When he deemed there was nothing in it, he frowned at Riku.
“You shake it,” he explained, grabbing his hand. “Like this,” he moved it up and down.
Sora watched the gesture, and then enthusiastically shook his hand, damn near dislocating Riku’s shoulder. “Okay okay! Not that hard!”
Sora let go with satisfied giggle. “Like Riku! Like Sora?”
“Yeah, I like you Sora.” Riku confirmed.
“Like Kairi! Like Sora?”
“Yes, I like you too, Sora.” She smiled at him.
“Sora key, Kairi key, Riku key?”
“Keyblade,” he corrected, summoning the Road to Dawn.
Sora smiled toothily. “Sora key...keyblade!” And he showed his.
Riku stared at it in shock. “That’s...” he looked at Kairi, “Do you know what keyblade this is...or was?”
“It looks like King Mickey’s keyblade. The one from the realm of darkness.”
“This is its partner, I’m sure of it. But...”
Both of them looked at Sora, who just curiously looked back, not knowing what they were talking about.
“Something’s wrong with his heart.” Riku deliberated. “I think that’s what’s causing this.” He touched the black coiling bits, shivering in response. “They’re made of darkness alright.”
This worried Kairi even more. Riku had told her about his fall into darkness, and what it had done to his heart. There was no telling what this meant for poor Sora, who probably didn’t even realize the danger he was in.
“We should catch up with the others,” said Riku. “They’re probably worried sick.”
“I don’t blame them. But...there’s a small problem. He’s not really...keen on them.”
“On who? Terra and Aqua?”
Sora hissed loudly at the mention of their names, confirming Kairi’s statement.
“Hey hey,” She soothed. “It’s okay.”
Riku scratched the back of his neck. “Well, it makes sense. If he thinks they left him here on purpose or forgot about him. I’d be pretty salty too.”
“So what do we do?”
“Well, he likes you. Why don’t you just...don’t know, hang out with him? Know his world.”
“Me?”
“Sure. He damn near kidnapped you to see you again. Though I don’t really like the idea of you gallivanting around the Jungle with a strange boy…”
Kairi couldn’t help but giggle, “what are you? My dad?”
Sora decidedly had enough of them talking and took Kairi’s hand and tugged.
“Okay, we can go. I’ll meet up with you when I can.”
Riku nodded once, and gestured them on.
Kairi placed her arms around Sora’s neck.
He excitedly hugged her back and then jumped off the tree.
Riku watched them disappear, and then said to himself, “Aqua’s going to murder me.”
—
Back at the Land of Departure, Eraqus was setting up for a guest. It had grown lonely in the castle these last few days, since he was so accustomed to having the kids around, at least one at a time.
“My, I haven’t seen the castle this empty in ages,” spoke the visitor.
Eraqus smiled at him. “At least 15 years, my how time flies.”
“What brought you to call on me, if not to bear witness to your new master?”
“Is loneliness not a a worthy enough excuse?”
“What some call loneliness, others would call peace and quiet.”
“You always did prefer silence, didn’t you Xehanort?”
The older man chuckled, taking a seat at their chess table. “It helps me think.” He made the first move and the game began. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a game, hasn’t it?”
“Yes, If you forgive me, I never thought it was appropriate to call on you while the darkness was such a threat.”
Xehanort raised an eyebrow. “And it’s not anymore?”
“Almost. As we speak, my students are sealing one last world. The darkness will have no foothold after that.”
“I see. Though the darkness won’t be able to swallow any more worlds, the heartless will not retreat, you know.”
“I know...but in due time, they will fade.”
“If that’s what you believe, who am I to contradict you?” He moved his knight to block a pawn. “What is this last world to be sealed?”
Eraqus sighed. “Well, it’s Deep Jungle.”
If Eraqus noticed how Xehanort’s eye twitched, he didn’t say anything about it.
“Deep Jungle? I’m surprised you would send them there after what happened. If it were me, I would let that world go. There is nothing there.”
“You sound like Terra,” Eraqus smiled slightly. “He wanted to let it go. But a world’s worth is not up to us to decide. Especially if it can be saved.”
“Are they fairing well?”
“Fairly.” He used his bishop to take out Xehanort’s Knight. “They met some people there, researchers to study the gorillas. And they have an idea where the keyhole is. And...” he hesitated, swallowing hard.
“Eraqus?”
“They found him. They found Sora.”
“Alive?”
He nodded. “He’s been alive all this time. He’s...been surviving in the forest. He’s feral now, though I don’t doubt it.”
Xehanort frowned. “Eraqus, I know the knowledge of his survival comes as a joy, but I must advise you against bringing him back here.”
“What? Why?”
“I told you before, when you first took him in as a student. That boy has incredible darkness in his heart, and he is dangerous. If indeed he’s been all alone all this time, there’s no telling how human he is anymore. Can he still tell the difference between right and wrong? Can use critical thinking?”
“Well, what are we supposed to do? He’s not just a human, he’s a keyblade wielder. We need him.”
“Do as you please. But I have given you my advice.”
All this talking had distracted Eraqus and put his Queen in jeopardy, and Xehanort was quick to take her with his bishop. “Check, old friend.”
Eraqus frowned, moving his king. “I’m going to prove you wrong. Sora is important to us. He’s coming home.”
42 notes
·
View notes
Sanders Sides Horror Story
Note: There are MANY trigger warnings in this, so be safe. There are mentions of blood, gore, knives, cutting, psychopathy, insanity, manipulation, Deceit Sanders, mouth sewing, crying, panic attacks, etc.
I hope you all enjoy this!
Tag list: @weirdonehereoops @prinxietyforlifefightmeiswear @pippippippin @mystghost @sleep-amongst-stars @56-reblogs-in-a-trenchcoat @small-words-to-say @blueberry1423 @miserykillme @dangernoodleprotectionsquad @0beansprout0 @therealpeterpan @ehekeb @rememberfateau-nowofficial @kitthepan @emovirgil-sanders @challywally @ravenclawangst @demonvirgil @sanderssquid @allthemetalsoftherainbow @idon-kno @romanochez @the-names-hell666 @devinedrabbles @hi-alex-the-ghost @thrown-out-pasta @smolbeanvirgil @thatonepersonwhoshipspeople @ineedahuganddontknowwhatsgoin @mystery-pinius
Patton has been acting strange lately. He’s been staying up much later, especially not even tucking anyone into their beds. He refuses, although politely, to eat with everyone-it would be a safe assumption that he wasn’t eating at all either even when alone. Speaking of being alone, many of the light sides could swear that they’d hear Patton crying in his room, but whenever anyone asked about it, they were met with a sickeningly bright smile or he wouldn’t acknowledge them at all and avoid the question.
And even Logan, who pressed and pressed for some kind of information was still stuck on why Patton had changed so suddenly. Possibly he was sick or was developing a mental illness, and in all cases would harm Thomas so someone needed a reply from Patton in some way.
He’s also been very emotional and moody. He would be happy and one comment would send him into tears. Sometimes he would be in the middle of yelling-which that alone wasn’t normal for him-and then suddenly begin laughing hysterically. Any who witnessed it were almost terrified for his well being-Virgil especially.
However, Patton didn’t care for his anxiety. He noticed that with the stress it’s been causing Virgil, he’s been more snappy and insulted Roman to farther extents than sarcastic or playful, They’ve become more ill-mannered and uncivil and because of how often it was, Roman’s self esteem was continuously getting lower and lower. His hair was getting messier and his sleeves were always long. The bags under his eyes only grew and the fake smiles were getting brighter and brighter.
And Patton knew he had to do something about this, something about the anxious side. He needed to keep that angry mouth shut and he already had a plan. Roman, needed some love.
Blackmail was oddly something he’s tried before and learned from many of the other sides. Logan was his easy target and he wouldn’t let down his pride for anything. He has to be seen as stoic and rational and serious. If he was seen doing anything that didn’t fall under those categories, he knew he would be done for.
And with how much smack-talk Virgil’s been throwing recently, it was a highly likely possibility.
He collected several pictures of Logan and visited the logicalt trait. The pictures were along the many lines of questionable and would ruin Logan’s reputation if anyone saw them. With one simple request and a seeming innocent smile, Logan now worked for Patton. He now helped him with any unnerving task he was faced with as long as Patton had the pictures.
Patton explained what they would do to Virgil and Logan felt sick to his stomach but knew it had to be done. Virgil has to hold his tongue if even that meant that they would sew it shut.
It was easy to get Virgil alone since him and Patton were cuh close friends. Patton made it seem like he was going to have a lovely little conversation with him and Virgil led him to the living room quickly. Logan waited around the corner for a few minutes around the corner of the doorway, holding a needle and thread. At this point he regretted what he was about to do.
“Oh! Sorry, I have to tie my shoe, hold on,” Virgil said, leaning down to tie his purple converse. Patton made eye contact with Logan and nodded.
He snaked his arms around Virgil from behind, restricting his arms from movement.
“Uh, Patton? You okay buddy?”
“I’m only giving you a hug!”
“This-” he struggled,”-This doesn’t feel like a hug. It feels like you’re strangling me.”
“Well, maybe I’m trying to do that too.” Patton’s voice changed to a low growl and he hugged tighter.
“What? Wait-”
“I’m sorry, Virgil. It had to be done.” Logan emerged from the doorway.
“Logan? What are you doing?!” Logan kneeled by Virgil and raised the needled to the anxious side’s lips.
“Logan! What are you-Hmph!” Virgil yelped and screamed. The needle pierced his lips over and over, the uncomfortable sensation of the thread going through his skin. Blood dripped from his chin and he writhed and twisted in Patton’s grip, but it was no use. Tears flowed from his cheeks while he shook vigorously. When Logan finished, he stood up and let Patton release Virgil to fall to the floor, sobbing.
Logan muttered hundreds upon hundreds of apologies, feeling terrible but Patton told him to do it.
“Pa-hmph-mm-”
“Sorry, kiddo, but thats what you get for being mean to Roman. Don’t worry! You’ll be okay!” Patton’s smile was twisted as Virgil looked up at him and Logan with horror.
“It’ll all get better soon!Don’t cry!You’ll be a part of a very happy family once I’m finished!” Virgil whimpered and touched the threads closing his mouth, wincing.
“It’ll heal if you try not to speak Virgil,” Logan said sternly. Virgil simply sat on the floor, now quietly crying. Logan and Patton looked at each other before walking away from Virgil.
It was now Roman’s turn and the prince certainly just couldn’t be unhappy! Patton made a plan for that too.
Days later he found the disheveled creative side hunched over at the dining room table with a single mug of coffee. His face was tucked into his right hand while he stirred the coffee with his spoon dolefully. The room was hardly lit and some could even notice that the cabinets were cracked and the paint was chipped. It was as if no life was in the mind anymore without his glorious singing and dramatic entrances everywhere he went.
Patton acted sympathetic and quietly approached Roman carefully. Softly, he set his hand on the younger’s shoulder.
“Hey Kiddo,” he started, whispering as to not startle the other,”You feelin’ okay, Bud?” Roman simply groaned in reply.
“I could be ten times better. I could be writing and singing….but I just don’t feel it anymore,” he said solemnly, pushing his coffee away from himself. “I bet you’re doing a lot finer than me Padre.” Patton clicked his tongue.
“Aw, Roman. Is it because of what Virgil said?” Roman scoffed.
“What Virgil said was something that meant more to me than anything. He criticized me, called my many names with the same definition of idiot, and gave no shits when I did anyhting for him or got hurt. So yes, Patton, it is because of what Virgil said. I’m surprised Deceit hadn’t join him while he still could. The two have been….quiet.”
With a twitch of his ever bright smile, Patton spoke again.
“That’s no way to talk about yourself!”
“Patton, please-”
“I will shower you in compliments! But also, can you come with me to my room? I have a surprise for you! And Logan’s in on it too! What do ya say?” Roman sighed with the slightest of smiles and stood from his chair.
“Alright.”
Through the hallway, Patton complimented Roman and showered him with affection. He held his hand, gave him cheek kisses, and did all sorts of things. But he didn’t know what he was getting into.
As they got to the baby blue door, Patton made sure that Roman was ready to walk inside. The prince seemed like he had an entire mood shift. He was excited, although still a little weary and was bouncing on the soles of his feet. When Roman was close enough, Patton opened the door, showing them both a dark room.
“What? Where’s the surprise?”
“In there, Silly! You have to walk inside!”
“Oh! Alright?” Roman hesitantly walked in and looked around, seeing a normal bedroom filled with stuff animals. “This doesn’t look too surprise-y, Patton. Are you lying to me? Wait, Deceit?!”
“It’ll be fine, Roman! Have a good time!” The door slammed shut and Roman instantly was filled with worry. With several attempts to break down the door, it wouldn’t budge. He started panicking more and more as time went by, yelling for help.
That was until a shadowy figure approached him and everything went black.
It only felt like he was out for a few minutes. The sound of a soothing voice and classical music was what awakened him from his mini-comatose. With a short blink, he opened his eyes slightly. The room was blurry, but he noticed several golds, oranges, and blues and browns. Different speckles of bright light danced around in his vision and he opened his eyes wider to get a clear view of the room.
Logan’s room, perhaps. No other room had tables set with bottles of colored liquid and a map of the world up on the wall. Also it was worth noting that a tray of knives and syringes laid next to him on the nightstand which caused him more terror. Come to think of it, he was completely immobile. He was strapped to the mattress by leather and struggling to move only made it feel tighter.
“Logan! Patton! Where are you?! Deceit! Is this your doing?! Is it because I called you Snake Face that one time?!”
“Calm down, Roman. He would never do that, Only the happy are the strongest and he isn’t one of us.” Roman raised his head as much as he could and saw Patton smiling maniacally, eyes twitching. A knife was in his hand and he walked towards Roman while the prince screamed in fear at the sight. He felt as if he was in a horror movie.
It only got worse from there. Within seconds, an agonizing pain shot through his chest and he let out a single ear piercing scream followed by cries. The sharp knife slashed through his skin and blood spilled over onto the bed sheets.
“Patton! Patton please stop! Patton it hurts! Patton please! Please stop!” he begged but to no avail. Patton only continued.
“Sorry, Roman! All princes need to be discouraged! Just listen to me and it will all be over!” Within minutes, Roman complied. His screaming dialed down now to whimpers and blubbering.
And just like that he made like a glow stick and cracked. He was free now for Patton to mold into the happy prince he needed to be.An eternal smile was carved into his face and his eyes were widened to look forever surprised.
“Lolo! You wanna help me put the finishing touch?” Logan, who stood aside quietly watching with horror nodded and walked over to the two.
“What is it that I can assist you with?”
“Can you whip something up in your little lab to get rid of his scars?” Logan faltered for a moment.
“Ah-uhm-yes, I can. I will get started on that.”
“Was that hesitation? Do you not want to help me make everyone better?” Patton lifted the knife once more the the logical side’s neck. The other shook his head quickly.
“Apologies, but you unsettle me sometimes.”
“Sorry, Lo! But that was a part of the deal! You do whatever I say without. Any. Hesitation.” By the end of the phrase his expression grew darker and Logan gulped. After nodding, the logical trait hurriedly stumbled over to his small lab station.
“And while you do that, I’m gonna take Roman to his room. Also, I might enjoy myself to some cookies. I’m feelin’ dangerous!” With that, Patton hoisted Roman by the arms over his shoulders and dragged him out of the room forcefully. Logan watched and now felt so much regret for every decision he made up to this point. The pictures were nothing to him anymore but he feared what Patton might do to him of his disobeyed his master.
Within about thirty minutes, the solution was finished and Logan poured it into a erlenmeyer flask, plugging the top with a cork. It was probably not the safest way of closing it but it was what he had for such a large amount of liquid. He exited the room, trying to find Patton and saw the normally bubbly trait sitting on his bed eating a plate of cookies.
“Hello, Patton. I’ve finished the serum to rid Roman of his-” he swallowed for a second,”-his scars. I hope this will suffice.”
“Can we get him to drink it?”
“Uh-Wha? I don’t think it’s drinkable but you can try. If it kills him, that will be a-”
“Perfect thing! He’s just been too sad and sulky so if he dies that’s not a problem at all!”Logan’s eye twitched at his ignorance but he still stayed calm and contained against his every will.
Patton made his way to Roman’s room where the prince still lay unconscious, although still looking awake. His eyes were wide open and his mouth was formed into the false smile Patton gave him earlier. The now morally grey side took conjured a sponge and poured the solution onto it. He scrubbed every nook and crevice of the prince’s body, watching in awe as the scars faded immediately.
Now to test what happens inside the body.
He took Roman’s jaw and forced it open, pouring the liquid inside his mouth and tilting his head to where he could swallow it. Nothing happened after a few moments and Patton groaned disdainfully. Well, it could’ve gone worse he guessed.
“Logan, I have an idea.”
“And that is?”
“Well first, what is happening to Thomas right now?”
“Ah-uhm...he is almost very reckless in his actions and does not care to sing or pursue acting. He has no self esteem and planning anything with Joan and Talyn-”
“Stop right there.”
“What?”
“Joan and Talyn! They are a part of this FAMily, yes?”
“Uh...yes?”
“And I’m thinking that we should make them eternally happy as well! Bust them up a bit! Downgrade them then build them up again!”
“What?!”
“I know! I’m such a genius!” Logan now lost it. The very thought of Joan or Talyn being in any type of danger fueled a fire inside him.
“Patton, we are not hurting his friends! Do you even care about them! All you’ve been focused on is putting everyone near death! You are nothing but a psychopath!” Logan yelled and waved his hands around, making his point.
But Patton didn’t think Logan would ever be something he had to fix. He’s been so docile and obedient throughout everything! He thought the happy family was almost complete! But apparently this teacher of his wouldn’t behave. And he needed to fix that and make him happy. To make him smile forever.
“Well, Logan, if that’s how you feel then leave. I’ll finish this myself.” Logan was a little surprised but walked off quickly. He had no more plans to work for Patton-the father would never succeed without his intelligence so he was now no more than an inconvenience.
But oh how wrong he was. He wouldn´t ever be safe from Patton.
The moral trait waited a few days, making Logan feel like he was safe and sound. He thought that Patton wouldn’t do anything and just give up entirely. However, late in the evening while he dressed himself in his unicorn onesie for bed, an unsuspecting father-like side creeped into the bedroom with his now iconic knife. Within seconds after Logan fixed his zipper, Patton jumped at him from the closet and pinned him to the floor.
But Logan hardly seemed phased. Right now, he was filled with terror but a blank facade engraved his facial features. The knife was held against his neck, a small dribble of blood leaking down the side if it.
“It seems I have to fix you now Lolo! Don’t ever leave me again.” Patton smiled psychotically and unzipped Logan’s onesie.
“Patton, you have no reason to do this,” Logan said, holding the waver in his voice. “This isn’t anything like you. You are Morality-Patton Sanders. You are not meant to hurt people and make them feel bad.” Patton growled.
“Don’t tell me what I’m made for! That’s all you do to everyone! You’re mean and rude and just-ARGH!” The knife went down onto to logical sides chest harshly and out of sheer terror, Logan didn’t move in the slightest. He was too far into shock to scream or cry out. And this didn’t please Patton at all.
The cuts were definitely deep enough to hurt, but the worst part was that they were shallow enough to keep him alive-and he didn’t want to be alive through it. He would rather die.
The moral trait carved a large bloody heart where Logan’s would be and slit several lines into his stomach. Logan kept is mouth shut and whimpered softly at the agonizing pain going through his entire body. Patton sat on his legs while the cold steel of the blade dragged down his torso and laughed hysterically while he did so.
“Ugh!This won’t do!” Patton yelled, stopping. He zipped up the onesie, catching some loose skin in the zipper, making Logan yelp.
Tugging the side by the hair, Patton shoved him into the kitchen. Logan stumbled and gripped the counter, but still seemed emotionless. At any moment he would pass out from the lack of blood in his body, but Patton had other plans. Once again, he grabbed Logan by the hair and started slamming his face into the counter several times. After about three times, Logan could tell his nose was broken and a few teeth had fallen out but Patton didn’t stop.
Logan still didn’t show any signs of weakness and at this point he would surprise himself if he had the ability to use his mouth anyway.
It goes on for hours, the lit up numbers on the stove only a blur now behind a thick sheet of red over Logan’s eyes. That was all he saw-blood. But what caught him off guard was when Patton whispered soothing phrases to him. His voice sounded nearly normal like the honey-coated tone he had before. He told Logan he knew best and he was only looking out for him.
And he told Logan that he was loved.
Finally, Logan believed him. The bloody-faced side bursted into tears and sobbed as he fell to the floor. The pain in his face only grew worse with his hiccups and attempts at sniffling so he cried out loud. Patton only stood and watched with a smile, staring at the hunched over teacher. He left after a moment, feeling bore and was off to think of the next part of his plan.
Within days, everyone was under Patton’s control. Virgil found that it was useless to use fight or flight anymore. Roman was taking several doses of antidepressants that Patton gave him and was to loopy to understand what was going on. Logan was hidden in his room in fear of the normally lighthearted side. Patton had the fun idea to assemble them all for a lovely little family picture and show the Famders that they were now perfect in every way.
Much to Patton’s displeasure, Logan and Virgil made some mistakes in the picture, not smiling wide enough. Logan’s eyes were glossed over and Virgil felt any type of pain whenever he moved his mouth in the slightest. Roman, on the other hand, didn’t focus. He was easily manipulated and did whatever he was told because it was good for him. Sometime after the picture, they made a video.
The fandom went insane after seeing everyone so unlike themselves. Logan held his head down in despair, some tears rolling down his face. Virgil was nowhere to be seen, leaving an empty and dark stairwell where he once was. Roman hardly spoke about himself, or even spoke at all. He kept his iconic pose and bright smile but everything was off about him. Patton, dear Patton, was taller and filled out compared to everyone. He smiled at his creations happily and explained to the Famders that they were a happy family.
Only after an hour of the video being posted did the theories and fanart come in waves. Patton loved how vigilant his kiddos were and how much they cared. Thomas didn’t even answer to anything anyone said to him, making his friends worry. The host was very emotional and distant and had this false sense of confidence. Patton loved every second of it.
While looking at what the Famders had created, and idea formed in his head. He wasn’t at all the best with technology, but setting up a livestream wasn’t too hard. He had everyone sit on the couch and held his knife which made them quiver in fear. Thomas was tied up in the corner, preventing any type of movement and his mouth was gagged as well. He screamed behind the cloth and writhed around in the ropes but to no avail. Patton waited til everyone was watching and greeted them.
“Hiya Guys, Gals, and Nonbinary Pals! I thought maybe we could have a little...heart to heart!” He giggles as Logan walks into view, shirtless and his head bowed, showing off the heart shaped scar. “Doesn’t he just look adorable?! He didn’t have much of a heart, so I had to give him one. But don’t worry, Roman’s still the same prince you know and love!”
Roman joins him, posing and smiling arrogantly, but he doesn’t dare speak. It was already clear that he hardly focused on anything, just remembering to smile and hold the iconic position. It made Patton so undeniably happy! His prince was doing just as he said without faltering or hesitating in the slightest.
Patton clapped. “See? Nothing to be afraid of! And don’t you kiddos worry, Virgil won’t be troubling Thomas anymore. Come show them what you got for being mean to Roman, Virgil!” Virgil shuffled into the screen as well, trying to hide his face as much as he could. His scars were swollen and ugly due to the amount of times he tried to rip them out or speak.
“Aren’t they just so sweet? Don’t you just love us so much? As long as you keep the fanart going, they’ll stay alive! You want that don’t you? Welp! Better get to work! Lolo’s chest still looks a little plain don’t you think?” The father side’s eyes darkened. The stream ends with a single wink and him holding the steel knife.
The whole fandom was left distraught, most of them thinking it was just a joke. Patton would never do that would he? Sweet, lovable, Patton wouldn’t harm anyone. If they only knew what happened behind the camera.
After his little finish, he looked at Logan evilly, raising the knife higher. The other tried to run but he was in no way faster than Patton anymore with how much pain he was in and he couldn’t hardly see anything anyway.
Patton had already pinned Logan to the floor and started carving children’s doodles and cute little symbols into his chest.
The said side screamed in agony and tried desperately to get Patton to stop through tears. Thomas stared in horror as did the others. After a few minutes of doing so, he moved onto Roman who faltered a little. He was shocked and his legs didn’t move no matter how much he mentally told them to. He was pulled to the floor; in seconds the knife was pierced through his skin causing him to scream just as loud-if not louder-than Logan did.
He tried scrambling away but all the color drained from his face and the blood from his body. The prince was left a bloody mess on the floor, unable to move. He coughed and blood splurted from his mouth, only scaring Thomas more than he already was. The host was sobbing, begging from behind the gag for Patton to stop hurting them but it was no use.
Finally, it was Virgil’s turn. The psychotic side conjured a needle and thread and laughed. Tugging him by the jacket, he kept Virgil on the floor with his knees. He used the knife to carve a permanent smile into his face. Virgil whimpered and yelped, but mostly due to the betrayal and sadness he felt. The physical pain was near nothing he felt inside his head and heart.
His eye was forcefully sewed shut, leaving it swollen and bloody. He even was given a few lashings with the blade as a punishment. Like the other two, his face was drained from color and he was a bloody mess on the floor. The anxious trait still laid on his back even after Patton stood. None of them were able to stand by the end of all of it.
Patton admired his work. He smiled at the scene of his kiddos being punished so they can behave. It was music to his ears to hear them all scream when he dragged the sharp knife down their bodies.
But Patton, poor Patton, had missed someone.
He set everyone up while they all groaned in pain. They sat in a small circle, Thomas included-all tied up much to their dismay. Patton conjured a book and in the sweetest voice he could muster, he read aloud to all of them. It wasn’t at all enjoyable for them; it would be very possible in the next few minutes that one of them could fall unconscious and even die.
Little did that lovable father-like side know, a certain liar appeared behind him. A soft gasp escaped his lips when he saw the four in the horrid conditions they were in. This new burning rage filled him immediately. Patton hardly even noticed the soft footsteps walking up behind him until a harsh hand grabbed his shoulder.
The said side was thrown to the wall and held flat against it. Deceit’s yellow eye seemingly glowed under the seething fury he felt. He put a hand to Patton’s throat as if to intimidate him, but even then he considered choking the moral trait.
“What have you done?!” he growled. Patton hardly seemed phased.
“I fixed them,” he stated simply. Deceit figured out quickly that confronting Patton wouldn’t work. It would be impossible to convince him that what he did was faulty. Right then and there he knew he would make a tough decision.
Taking him by the hair and restraining his arms, Deceit took Patton to the Unconscious part of the mind. He locked the said side away where nobody would dare to look. It was dark, gloomy, and filled with nightmarish creatures of all kinds. Patton was put in a cave like cell guarded by a spider-like beast. Deceit knew that if he ever even came to his senses, he would be terrified by the monstrosities down there.
With a final goodbye, Deceit left. Next, he shapeshifts into the animated and happy father. He wasn’t sure what he could do now to help; all he knew was that he was Morality-at least until the others realize that it’s him. It was only now he went to aid the Light Sides and good god, at least he had his work cut out for him. Within seconds, he appears in the living room making them all panic for moment.
He unties them all, removing the gags and bondage all while smiling softly. Virgil instantly sees through the disguise, hardly minding at all. All he cared for was that they were now safe, especially from Patton. He hesitantly touched the stitches on his mouth, letting waterfalls spill over his bloody cheeks. It made it seem as if he was crying the red liquid instead of the salty tears.
Logan, on the other hand, scrambles away instantly. He was still frightened to death of what had happened. The fresh cuts and open scars were aching and it was a wonder that he could move at all.
“Come on Lolo, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Deceit said in Patton’s soft voice,”not anymore.” He opened his arms comfortingly saying,”Hug?”
Logan only stuttered.
“Y-You made m-me-” he cut himself off. The look in Patton’s eyes-it wasn’t something quite Patton. He took the hug and instantly he relaxed into it, letting a few tears fall. God, it felt so good to feel something that wasn’t torture. It was so warm and genuine and the first piece of genuine affection he’s had in days.
Roman was a bit harder. It would take everything for him to get back to what he was. That was why ‘Patton’ led him to the imagination where a dragon terrorized a village. Deceit gave him his sword saying,”Go.”
With a few slashes and hits, Roman regained his color. It wasn’t the best choice to fight while still injured but the adrenaline was all he needed to beat the winged beast. Even within the haze of his mind, his instincts to conquer and save the village rose and with a blink of his eyes, he grinned a real smile. With a final blow, the dragon fell to the ground and the town cheered, showering him in compliments and affection. Deceit, or ‘Patton’ stood off the the side with a loving smile, watching Roman feel so genuinely happy again.
And at last it was time to leave.
However, his thoughts were paused with a cold shudder. The imagination had suddenly gotten much cooler. What could’ve caused this?
He rushed back into the living room and Thomas was panicking. Logan and Virgil were sobbing, mumbling several apologies to each other. Deceit watched as Roman appeared, suddenly distraught again; he was crying.
And at that moment Deceit knew something was coming. Something not Light or Dark. Something Immoral….
235 notes
·
View notes
Oops dropped your heart (6)
Horrortale x reader
Warning: People be dying, swearing
one two three four five (six)
They never questioned how you first managed to leave, to leave you must have a monster soul and your own soul.. or the other way around for a monster. Someone along your journey had told you...had begged you to take their soul and go home, whatever kindness, whatever will they had left was given to you on the way out. Given the soul you didn't gain any great powers just something to get you by and through... it's how you were able to continue going through in and out... But you noticed something every time you went back into the mountain and to that deep dark hole.
There wasn't a barrier there before the drop.
It was too high for any monster to get too.. magic or not.. it's why the ladder was there.. thats as high Sans can go with lifting anything. Suppose since the Barrier behind the throne room being there they assumed it had to be up here too.
Never the less...maybe... one day you can create a ladder long enough for them to climb up. Save them from the darkness, maybe it would change them, maybe adapt? Could they? Could they be free and live in this world? All they could eat were humans and their souls.
But, maybe.. perhaps they could eat animals? Sure you wouldn't throw a fucking dog down there but maybe deer? Have Deer ever fallen? Have they ever tried eating it? Does it have to be alive when they kill their meal? Fresh? Yes there were times when a human you forced down there died right away and they ate it and would be just fine...
"But that's because the human Soul lingers" You answered your thoughts as you trailed down the mountain.
Taking a sudden right down straight off trail and into the woods you went down a small slope and onto a rocky trail following along it quietly eventually the roof top of a small house started coming to view over the tree's and as you got closer the small cabin started coming into view.
You stood there before the wooden Cabin a small set of stairs went to a porch the railings held old ripped police tape flowing in the wind a porch swing swaying slowly, creaking against it's old chains the wood rotting and the green paint chipping away. The large windows covered by flower printed thin sheets, dusted by time. Slowly you made your way up the creaking stairs gripping the railing tightly, the wood hasn't been taken care of for months, slowly falling apart and rotting from weather damage the third step smashed from your last walk up and your weight going right through the wood.
Reaching under a flower pot (very original) you lift it up taking the silver key hidden from under it. You rose and unlocked the door slipping the key into the lock slowly turning it slowly you heard the click and entered the cabin. The halls were dirty the pictures that once hung on these walls taken along with trinkets and other things that belonged to the woman and her husband here. Closing the door behind you, the light from the outside given you enough to see inside you made way down to the basement slowly.. the sun barley coming through from the small windows down below. You were worried about anyone being here... weren't worried about what spooks could be hiding. You couldn't hold back the chuckle that forced it's way out between your lips.
You lived with flesh and soul eating monsters.. nothing made you too scared these days, unless they're angry.. or jump out at you or Pap came at you in the hall ways in the dark and BOY that one time when they moved into the ruins and woke up the same time you did, you had come out of your room the lights blown out for the night, you were thirsty and headed out your door and... in the dark a tall figure had been walking towards you in a quick pace... scared the shit out of you.
Bless him but holy fuck.
Reaching the bottom of the stairs you pulled out a flash light from your bag, the suns light wasn't enough through the windows, hiding behind tree's and just giving you enough to find your way down stairs. Flicking on the light towards the generator you made way towards it reaching behind it you pulled out a small red has tank filling the small machine you struggled to get it working.
"(name?)" You whipped around quickly swinging your light around towards the voice, it sounded like.. Sans but, that wasn't possible. Your light landed on something moving it rushed off.
A small skeleton wearing a blue scarf rushed by before disappearing into the darkness before the stairs. You followed shining your light up the stairs but.. the door was still open and no one could run up there so fast and so quietly. You waited... but nothing.. no movement no creaking of the house.
Was... that Sans? It looked like him but it's skull wasn't caved in.. or as tall.
"No it's... just the trick of the mind... you need some sleep after this" You whispered a hand resting on your chest hoping to steady your racing heart. "You just miss Sans..."
You missed Sans? You saw him not four hours ago.
Sure... yeah alright the round (How is he even round?) Skeleton tugged your funny bone and made way into your heart but man did your imagination really go over board, making Sans smaller and in a blue scarf and what looked like a different form of Paps battle body. Maybe that's where Pap got his battle body from? A child Sans?
"How the hell would you know?" You replied to your thoughts again... something you did often hoping to give yourself an answer, something to cling to and calm you down? You didn't know.
Turning back to the generator you fought with it until it started humming to life, with a pump of your fist you got up and made your way up stairs trying the light switch the hallway light flipped on dim but it worked! Making your way down you slowed down seeing a tall figure walk by, the orange sweater it wore stuck out like a sore thumb.. .was someone here? Maybe, hopefully.
You could find a way to get them to the entrance, get them to chase you? Are they family to the people who once lived here? A friend? Or a squatter? But you would of heard them walking around while down stairs.. the creak of the boards would of alerted you. You could of sneaked in and caught them off guard of the shine of your flash light MUST of given you away... they would expect you to charge them though.
Slowly inhaling you rushed in and stopped the figure whipped around a smoke hanging out between their teeth their empty eye sockets wide with confusion before smiling at you.
"Gee, Kiddo ya nearly made me jump outta my skin" They... looked.. and sounded like Papyrus just with out the loud, energetic yelling, their jaw didn't have those long broken and stained teeth. He just looked like a normal tall ass skeleton...
"Pap?" You stepped forward your light flickered the room went black before turning back on, the 'Papyrus' with the smoke no where to be seen. You covered your eyes with your free hand inhaling slowly.
What the fuck is happening? First the small Sans now a shorter version of your beloved friend Papy. No you're tired.. the walk here sucked and you had little sleep the night before. Reaching you flipped on the light to the living room. A lot of the furniture in the room was gone expect a small red love seat the coffee table now gone. Closing your eyes you can recall the man and woman here.... they were your first... very first victims. You saw the cabin, all you could think was about your family.
You rushed here banging on the doors forcing tears to your eyes calling for help, a small man came to the door he looked afraid, why were you there? How did you find them? The male came and put his hands on your shaking shoulders while your faked hysteria yelling about your brother... how he fell down the side of a small cliff dipped into the mountain, he put his boots on and had you walk with him after calming you down. Just the big sibling who was scared for their brother... scared for family. They'd call emergencies but up here.. there was no signal.
They were fucked the moment they even decided to live there by themselves like this.
Taking him to where your "brother" was he got closer and you pushed him screaming apologies below. Sitting down and sobbing hoping he could forgive you.
"I found your brother! I'm fine but" He landed and stayed alive he believed it was an actual accident, he must of spotted Sans in the shadows.. Papyrus didn't like going to bag and tag a body for himself. The shrieking made you scream and cry in reply holding your hands over your ears... then nothing
What about the wife? How were you going to get her here? Slowly with shaking legs you made way towards the cabin forcing your legs to walk forcing yourself to calm down, your shoulders still bouncing with your quieting sobs. Inhaling slowly you knocked on the door, the wife came out confused... where was her lover?
"He..can't move my brother, I suggested maybe it would take all three of us to do it?"
"Oh, oh he must of really hurt himself! Did you find a way down?" She threw on her jacket following you.
"Yeah, there was a small path way leading down.. but there's a small climb then a steep way down" You replied walking in front of her hands clenched and shaking.
You can do this, they need to eat... it's just one more.
"Why do you live all the way out here?" You said before she could ask or say anything else.
"Oh, just the smell of pine in the morning is so much better than gas of a car, or the noise of a train..." She went on about the positive stuff.. no shouting no one to suddenly honk their horns and waking them. Her husband worked not far from the mountain..
You nodded when ever to show her you were still listening but your thoughts kept wondering, what if she doesn't go down as easy? What if she fights or runs away? You would have to catch her... or disappear back down into the darkness like some gremlin. Reaching the opening you stood there while she looked around confused.... this wasn't outside or a dip in the mountain.. it was just darkness.
You pointed down there, this was not what you had said. She... caught on or she knew something was wrong cause she kept away from you and when you got closer she had moved but you didn't rush her in case you might fall.
"Ron?" She shouted into the abyss with no response her call echoing.
She looked ready to bolt, your heart starting to race..what if she pushes you? What if you miss the flowers and die beside them? It would be karma but still.
"Did he fall?" She asked edging away "Or did you push him?" Her best bet would try to push you... there weren't any body around for miles. "Do you even have a brother?"
"I had a family once" That didn't tell her shit. "But...we don't get along anymore" Was all you managed "But my new family...I gotta take care of them.. you understand.. don't you?"
"Long ago, monsters and humans lived together" She realized something.. she knew whats going on. "You're feeding them?" She shouted at you...It stopped your heart when she knew what was down there.
She drew closer to you forcing you to step back, she knew what you have done..
You killed her lover her partner... her best friend and oh boy was she angry.
You expected her to bolt but instead she threw herself onto you, trying to force you down onto your knees, you yelled struggling her cries fell to deaf ears, you couldn't hear her you were afraid blood rushing through your drums you... you... had to fight.
You could let her kill you but Sans...Papyrus...Mother.. they needed you. Three
Three bodies would be enough for them for months....they can contain the souls and feed off them slowly for maybe a year if it;s just them three.. grabbing her arms you forced yourself down the hole with her her shrieks echoing. Something gripped your chest and your hold one her ripped away and she fell thanks to gravity, you floated down slowly your chest glowing blue... she landed beside the flowers her head twisted in unnatural ways.. slowly you were set down.
Sans stayed down there... waiting for you by the looks of it. The moment you regained yourself you sobbed.
But you never stopped doing this for them.
Opening your eyes the room looked much darker the light from outside long gone when the sun set behind the mountain, how long have you stood there remembering the two here? It was almost like you fell asleep standing rather than going back to an old memory. Sweeping your light over the living room again you couldn't help but smile sadly.
You could almost see it.. you sitting there on the couch with a skeleton in an orange sweater and a smaller skeleton with a blue scarf and a head not so caved in.. for some reason you couldn't see Sans with that hole in his head...just a big smile on his face... Pap would look great with an orange sweater... nice and coozy
Maybe in a different time line you could of lived here with them....
6 notes
·
View notes
Is It Just Me, Or...?
No one likes going to work, it’s a necessity, right - but should it be? when 260 days out of my year are devoted to encouraging the systems that repress so many and keep my own being unfulfilled I can’t help but feel anger, sadness and futility about getting up each morning. “Get a different job then, bro” I hear someone yell behind me - to which I reply, it ain’t that damn easy - plus it’s not so much about the job as it is about the system our jobs reside in. I don’t enjoy this system that forces me to spend my time working on things that don’t fucking matter or contribute anything of worth to society in order to just “live”. Sure, some people love what they do, they have a great equilibrium between what makes them happy and what makes them money - but what about the other 95% of us, how do we change the menial 9-5 into something worthwhile for ourselves and ultimately others? especially within a world that rewards our willing slavery with the destruction of our own humanity.
We work to be a part of society, a part of the first world - the great western regime of consumerism and we fucking love it. But we forget - as is intended - that our first world problems come at a cost, and its the businessmen and bureaucrats who sit in tall, shiny buildings trading money that doesn’t exist, creating wars to stimulate the economy and solidify the system that will keep so many of us impoverished and never able to reach our full potentials as human beings. Who are these men that feel so entitled and enveloped within their own ego that they literally deal in murder, war and slavery - which deep down, we all know is true - I know this - in fact, the laptop I’m writing on right now was more than likely assembled by the hands of a Chinese girl around your age, forced into a factory job in order to stave of extreme poverty until she either dies from exhaustion or her own devices.
I don’t understand what human being could really feel that we as a collective, sentient species are living to the best of our capabilities. Why do we humans, after so many years of “civilisation” still destroy one another, create differences and project them into our societies? Is it easier to fight one another than the ones who pull our strings? I sit here, writing, trying to find out why I feel the way I feel, and why I’m angered by the things that I see around me. It’s like this feeling of utter suffocation not only because I’ve been indoctrinated to feel like I need to assimilate to the system that is destroying our planet but also from my own standards and systems that I impose on my own self because of said system - and I think - am I going to be one of those crazy old dudes that holds signs preaching about the illuminati?
Why is no one else screaming out how insane this world is - are we really content to just put on another Netflix episode? Are we all cool knowing that 3 million people, mostly kids, are trafficked for sex and slavery literally right now and that human trafficking is an actual industry that makes $35 billion dollars annually. Are we fine with eating the meat of an animal caged from birth, confined to a pen of its own piss and shit, inseminated, force fed fat through a tube rendering them immobile, then shot in the head because an animal is no longer an actual being its a commodity to be mass produced for our own convenience. Are we really okay knowing that our phones, our clothes and our laptops were made in factories where there are literal nets outside of the windows to catch people that would rather kill themselves than work another 15 hour day for enough money to buy tomorrows dinner for their family knowing they will never, ever leave a life of poverty.
I think we are content with these atrocities because to be honest, we’re just marginally better off - we are still slaves because we work 5 days a week or more to pay for the ‘convenience of living’ we are told this system provides us. This system provides money, money to buy food, to pay our bills, to buy nice things, to buy education - but what are we really paying for? I don’t believe the human psyche is made for this system. This system tells us to be selfish, it tells us to be weary of those not like us, it tells us that systems are in place for our own safety, not to be questioned. It sedates us, it numbs us and we let it, because its easier than realising we’re not free.
I write this, knowing that I have to play my part in the system tomorrow morning, catching a train to work, to spend eight hours of my day making money so that I can live another day to buy the cheapest meat at the supermarket across the road because it’s conveniently affordable - that I will continue this cycle for another week until the system I’m in has allowed me two days grace before it begins all over again. I don’t know what it is I want to truely do with my life - but I know this isn’t it - I want change and I’m screaming out for anyone else who wants that too because I think thats another illusion of the system - it makes us feel alone, that our ideas best kept inside and never spoken for fear of being even more isolated that we already are. I know this article is a little nonsensical but I’m hoping even something small within it resonates with you, perhaps you feel the same? maybe you have some knowledge you can share with me? Where do we begin, what can we do, how do we ignite change? are you truly happy with the system?
Or maybe I just really hate going to work.
1 note
·
View note
A Day In May
(I decided to include the story written in the workshop on this blog , just to be able to have the product made from the progress recorded in here)
Waking up the Ninth day of may without any rain ,Javier knew Carlos had already left .His sheets were neatly folded and set , Javier’s were thrown , shifting around, making indescribable patterns let to be deciphered. Javier walked outside were the grass greeted the sun, taking a whisk of the wind , it meant time to work. He tended to the house made of Boards and zinc as exchange for staying there , a treaty sealed with a friendly kiss. Javier didn’t mind this transaction, he was glad that it had happen , he fixed damaged floors, feed all the cows, pigs, lizards, horses and dogs that while weren’t neither of them were , freeloading in the pen adjacent to their abode, he tended the meat out so the sun could bless it with a golden hue , He climbed 100 feet up trees to reap the finest platanos to hold a feast for both of them . He walked upwards , downwards and leftwards, doing all manner of jobs but stopped in the kitchen, indicated by a hanging bed sheet, a he noticed that their was no spices to prepare the food or preserve the meat. Javier walked two mountains over to Aurelianos House, asking for salt , its advised to only buy salt from Aureliano ,unlike others , he blesses his, not only will meat last longer but its helpful in protecting households. He jumped the fence down to the plaza, were Tata , Javier’s Aunt ,offered strangers items from her collection of spices , honey to renew lost love, paprika to remember something forgotten , pepper to erase a bad dream. Javier didn’t need to hear these explanations, growing up with his aunts explorations into distant towns taught him as much as he needed , she slipped him a jar of her sofrito , shut tightly to contain the flavorful odors . She also gave him a bundle of hay ,Tata and everyone around stuffed their ears with it to protect their ears from the sound of Juan and his band of out of tune men playing songs to hopefully produce the first lucky rain of may in this Ninth day of the month . He passed Dona Marias bakery , with those huge ovens and fogones all to make ends meet, Javier bought her famous majarete , a delicious mixture of 3 types of milk and the peel of a lemon . With sweet splendor in his mouth , hay on ears and more chores to be done ,Javier reminisced in glee at a tragedy past.
Many months ago Javier had just received the fortunate news that his till that moment unknown father the local town drunk , died electrocuted by divine intervention ,as many residents of vega media confirmed . At the vigil Javier was confronted by his late fathers 7 wives ,all refusing speak directly at him , The fortunate news came from the fact that the old man had amounted a fortune thanks to bank interest and it was to be divided between his children .“He doesn’t have his eyes ” “He doesn’t have his smile “ “He doesn’t have his hair” the wives exclaimed as they compared Javier’s face to the pile of ashes that was his father. All refused to the legitimacy of the letter sent to Javier by the Department of Family Matters “You can never believe those, I got a letter saying that my mother died from scurvy , but we later found out it was from seeing the devil to many times in her sleep” The 5th wife exclaimed as she ripped the letter in bits and feed it to the wind. Javier wept big salty tears from rage ,damaging the dresses of all the women, men and pets present. Javier stormed out , Carlos, the town reader, charged with anything minutely related to the reading or writing , witnessed Javier in his sea of tears. Javier felt a seed of shame grow in his chest, “he must find this very funny ” instead Carlos offered Javier a meal at Dona Marias bakery ,her sweet bread a cure for any ailment of the heart .
Sitting at dona marias, Carlos asked the questions and Javier answered them. Small talk turned into secrets , and Javier was trapped as the 2nd round of coffee with milk appeared and the conversation dipped into a pool of bitter and sweetness . Why were you crying, do you care, do you mind , but why , could you , did you , can you , I would? . This arose more from curiosity than pity, pity was unknow to Carlos, or alteast hard to dig, thought Javier .They didn’t get a sight of each other compared to when they were younger , the day Javier left his home and moved with tata, he had bumped into carlos , who was reading, the only person who could read in vega media. This enthralled Javier, only somebody so curios would learn to read , he thought. Carlos looked at him back , he gave Javier a book but didn’t move and inch of his mouth. A moment of realization came over Javier, Carlos couldn’t speak, and from that moment on they thought each other their secret. Javier the art of the spoken charm , and carlos the art of the written word. When both had learned what they needed they set on their ways and never spoke again, and occasional glance perhaps, but nothing more, that’s it until Javiers dad died and he found himself here in front of Carlos with all the questions in the world and so much more. He knew this feeling, but didn’t give it a name. That meeting continued ,ended and echoed through the metal walls of Carlos’s house.
Javier thought of this as sweat trickled down his curls in this Ninth day of may without rain , aligning the zinc plates so they wouldn’t fall as easily as he cleaned the curtains that determined the boundaries in the home. Hearing Carlos footsteps outside, promptly sitting on a chair. Javier immediately made the coffee with milk and brought it outside, Carlos sat looking away to the clouds. The cups being set as he silently looked outside. So many letters to send and read and write is tiresome when you’re the only one who can . Javier felt that same feeling that was felt so many uncountable months ago when they talked so intimately after so long. It never happened after that, he stayed here hoping for that one more sentence , for that one more question, be it curiosity or pity , Javier didn’t care , he just wanted to listen to the voice only he had listened too. Javier went to relate to Carlos the details of the day the things he had prepared and the things he would do , a delicious mofongo with shrimp for dinner , of how he made sure to put oil around the house so it wouldn’t fall , how he made sure to buy the correct milk, how he saw the locket and kept it safe, about his friends Marinas booming tarot reading business thanks to her immaculate accuracy, how they should visit sometime, how they should learn to ride one of those horses , how they should cook those pigs for Christmas, and Javier noticed how all the I and mes turned into us and we, He went quiet in shame. The clouds whispered to each other and broke the silence, roaring and shaking as all the animals screamed and ran. “IT’S THE FIRST RAIN OF MAY” Javier exclaimed, excitedly showering in the lucky water for this to be his year, Javier ran amok and extended his arms towards Carlos who stood there in shock, as if something had captured his chest and crushed it into a pulp. Carlos took the rain, felt the touch of its luck. In that moment Carlos spoke , but not only that he spoke , he said those words that had haunted Javier till his death, that had haunted him in the most enchanting and morbid way, that would haunt him as he took Carlos hands in his , as he repeated those three words , to be only know by him and to be spoken to nobody else as they swore under the rain as it drowned out those three words. Both of them waiting for that last twist of the knife, a backhand slap to wake them up, for their unexpected tale to end in the way they expected, it didn’t , it just kept existing here in this ninth day of may with its first shower of lucky rain.
0 notes
my heart yearns for you, i never wanted to be comic, i always thought it would be better to be funny in real life and not have to muster it and waste it on stage, and have people be surprised when you weren't as funny in real life, i always found that dissapointing when it happened to me, like that person was an apparition of themselves an empty shell. And wow I've come to realise how sad this existence is, or maybe its just the pattern of believing in your self, there are certainly dips. my heart yearns for you and i think fuck, was i supposed to have gone with you, was i supposed to have been all these things, what if we’d never met. I hope I can separate myself from you and form my own being, we were growing together and were not growing apart yet but maybe i need a change. This year has been weird, so wonderful, and so weird, and now maybe i am feeling the repercussions of your change, i am really feeling what you are feeling as one amoeba, we obviously share a bladder that has been said before so the urinary tract is suffering, but it hurts to feel your mundainity, it hurts to see you in your ordinary pain, your extraordinary pain in your ordinary life, it hurts me to think maybe you are not special, you are not just a special magical spelll that has reeked havoc on my life and make me question what holes i want it in. You are special, but if the world doesn’t notice so and treats you like shit i wont stand by it, ill stand with you, im sure what else I can do, will do. I dont want them spreading. our message so falsely for their own gain, i dont want coffee drunk over us and laughed over us, at our expense and sexual fetishes and smiles and dimples and rude finger gestures and shrugs and pleas and questions and examinations and cuts and bruises and cuts and no questions and spit in your face. Id rather not that thank you, id really rather not. I dont care what i am, just in relation to you always in relation to you. omg the fucking car alarm wont shut the fuck up, please shut the fuck up screaming like a fucking attention seeking cunt shut up, thank you. I was scared they would rape you, im still scared they will rape you, and i dont wants o be subtle anymore, I m scared they will fist you and put things inside you and pull your trousers down and laugh and bend you over a car and fuck you and fuck you hard, and im scared i want that, no i dont but I can imagine it vividly, has it happened somewhere in my memory before. I remember crying very hard over that film boys dont cry in tigers arms, sobbing and gasping like when i used to have tantrums, once a huge one in a video store andi couldn’t breathe i was crying so hard, and my dad said, T everyone can hear you, look they're all looking at you, take a deep breath and bap bap bap like fish inhale all that air and exhale very slowly, (later he said so your mouth looks like an asshole) but fuck those people that were looking at me he just shouldnt have made me fucking cry and it felt good and distressing to cry that much.
when we first met, the first night i called you she so many times when i was talking about you to other people, i had to keep correcting myself like i had terrets or something (that fucking car alarm) she, he, she, he, she, he. You didn't realise you have subsequently told me, but i rememeder it clearly, i was so drunk I could nt get it right, and you were the first trans person i had met knowingly, when you first told me you joked it about it, that seemed to be your method at the time, haha yeah, im basically just becoming a teenager, im about 13 in T years, i was like who is this creature who is telling me this there was subtle tone of vulnerability in how you explained it as if to say please accept this floating skin of myself that rests just above our heads, any sudden movements will frighten it off and i complied with this thing in front of me, kept it floating warily above our heads, as i fell in love with you. but your smile was golden, you were soft like the butches i had seen before, that negative space you *cant couldn’t touch where femininity and masculinity come close but don’t touch. the softness of fat under you shirt and the way you sweat and knowing there was something vulnerable in your pants, something I knew so much of and also nothing. this was stepping into another realm. I felt almost ashamed as if i was leading you on and you were so shiny and soft I knew you wanted more, but i was scared of you. i think i was terrified. of what you represented.
i was so scared of getting it wrong I did the most research ever before i met you again. how to give a clit orgasm , trans porn, top surgery, bottom surgery, fucking buzz feed all to find you somewhere, but you weren't there, you were new born, fresh into this world, thats why it felt like a lie, its affects creep up on you and for a long time you are lying to the world and proving it and i knew so much yet i would blow on your skin and, nothing. as i see you then you were more of a man than ever so pushed into a box, as so much of it is, to parade something you cant even have the grasp of to explain, to someone, your grounding on this earth in a matter of facial muscles and sounds originating from the mouth and lines and lumps in the right place flattened down that could have restricted your breathing as we slept and i said how lovely your back was because you wouldnt take it off you. Wouldn't let me see you like that it could have killed you in your sleep left me kissing a dead back i cant I cant. So for a while I could have been your fairy. your keeper even your comforter i did not exist because you did not hold me back, give yourself to me and**** i asked you in the dark of night do you like being licked out, do you like getting oral sex, do you use dildos, where do you not want me to touch, i thought you didn't want me to put my mouth there because it was wrong, it was weird, overgrown stump of what a pearl was, oh how i was wrong and you loved it and i too, i thought you might want me to suck on that appendage that innocent bystander that plastic thing that was never asked if it wanted to go in the dark place alone with no light, want me to lick it and suck it and look up at you while i did it like in the films, cause i would have done anything to get you off, and i did, but you let me put the overgrown pearl in my mouth let me pull it and suck it and let it rithe in my mouth furry stubborn pearl rolling on the sea bed, under bed under my tongue it would grow and wither and chip into my head visions of another world where I had never been and we would have to take an underground river to get to.
i remember the night it happened in that small space we called a bed the squeaked and the heating sounded like it was having a hight pitched breakdown, i was going to party that was prom themed and dressed up with lipstick over my top lip and all around my mouth and a wig and a dress and the whole time i was getting ready i was thinking of it happening, i was terrified i was going to get it wrong, id never done it, what if i would never get it right cause it wasn't the right genital substance for me, what if it was embaressing and i would have to go home with my tail between my legs not a true lesbian, straight person, person of lesbian tendencies, individual or something, someone that could not give another person what they both wanted to be given. i dont know I really didn't know, all I knew was that i looked fucking brilliant, and no one else was dressed up as per usual, so fuck them, and it gave me that sense of brilliance that everyone is judging you and you dont care.
and now they tell me a changeling is an old fairy that takes the place of a human baby an old stubborn baby that clings onto life promising its youth to all those around it that makes more sense when i call you a changeling when i call you a changeling that has been swapped at birth if only you didn't have a belly button or you had two sets of eye lids, or a second skin, but you do have strange belly button piercing from another life well say its an alien marking it i like putting my finger in it so hairy and soft and i get stapled in the mind when i know you were a teenage girl, and it turns me on and it scares me you will see that in my eyes. it makes sense that the old fairy would have seen the land and its folds to have a sense of knowing the cradle is where it should reside for the rest of its days not shuffle along in the mud with fairy toes all wet. you told me to put my toes in the sand, it felt so wrong and like they were being licked that time, in Edinburgh, a large man in an animal state licked my toes and it felt so good i let go of everything, but it comes so natural to you , to look at the sea and see answers, im almost playing to your state so you feel more comfortable in your natural environment if i am repulsed. the way people do that sometimes in order to appease the other, was it unnatural for me not to be amazed, you do annoy me when you are that pure(goldstar). i look as if i have corrupted you from your chosen path, perhaps you will go back there someday, back to the beach and think of me and you'll be at home cause i wont be teasing you, you'll be done with London and its cruel ways to spit you out with all your teeth and dreams, ill sit up in my high castle and be cold because of the drafts, without my human blanket. my cold winter feet.
and i want to have your children as long as they are fizzy and rough and have no part in the world they will become hardened to. i want there to be a way, a way that men with answers will give them to us and let me stop googling humiliating shit like can two eggs make a embryo, this is the age of fake news and i dont want to be a fucking victim. (of it) I want the soft place between us soft shell air socket between us to be full with potential and not lacking in our minds because of what ever we've been told needs to be there to build a life. i want it when i rub on the top of your clit, tiny boner, source, of rivers, slowly when you sit on me to really be you inside me or you transporting something in the air to me you don’t have to be inside me i am clever enough, imaginative enough to receive a wish of will. this way is better is better it is this way is better and better for me to lay my body on the sidewalk and shout for it to be this way ill disgrace myself to hold your hand.
its funny the words we use to communicate to each other i call you bitch and slag and squeal at you in the morning i shout in a mad face that the bombs are coming get down the bombs are coming and i tickle you and hit you when you dont hide your face into the cover, i like the helpless tickling noise, your gasping for air and your fucking smile is so framed in everything i could ever ask for. I think im like my dad like that when he screams little baby bird baby bird and picks you up like a child with the body of a huge 50 year old henry the 8th look a like. i dont want anyones approval but it hurts to know some soft states cant be translated into other states some things cant be grasped or explained.
we like to scream bitch after saying things because its like the cartoon rick and morty character who is the nightmare man, that was what got me through the break up and you lay on my lap as we watched, and i sunk my sad claws into that screen hoping the half an hour episodes would sink into one another and back into the whites of my eyes into my brain i could see us watching but i couldn't feel it, but the feeling was slowly coming back like after you burn your fingers with ice cream.
/
im sorry if you are hurt I had to do it i needed to be selfish well all die alone theres nothing more to say i couldn’t put it into words, i am scared of what is coming of the eyes of others im scared I will blame you for what i have doubts. you let me take you there i feel like the guy, there is no guy and I am becoming more comfortable in this position against your skin you can tell when people have copy and pasted ideas im self conscious of your knowing of my lust of your knowing of my want to penetrate you im conscious of my eagerness to do this and im conscious of what this could mean and could not. Im conscious of your body next to mine in the dark room im concious of the splinter in my finger im conscious i must be with out you. Im conscious of my memories past and how they build this encounter how i must hold back things from your view and bring others into the light but they are all there waiting to be shown it is for me to divide(decide). i am concious of you in the dark room when I see the man cry at the sound of a lovers voice from years past i feel the weight of his pain and i cry infant(infront) of you in the dark room full of people, they dont know this they dont understand like i have and i come out the cinema see the shadows of people in my way did they see what i saw i could not believe they were they they do not feel the same they are frauds, I make a swift exit to the toilet so as not to be taunted by these shadows, what is this face i see on leaving the huge and empty lonely *discabled toilet we blush at each other we know who the other is and cannot express the name of the other our mouths are forming round the name both struggling to admit this is happening(the other has a name) both blushing both full with what is delirium from all the crying shed in the dark room the evil son dark species feeder comes out the * bathroom to greet us he too is bleeding red blush and eyes and nose do twist and curve into some uncomfortable shape to fu/fill the space where words should be, and none of us can detect any.
you ask me how i did it. and i think of their mouths on each others genitals for a flash second as they stand close enough to kiss and i think better put that to bed my love. you ask me what did i do. She's taller than I thought im a fucking child a well mannered fucking child the fact my face has been near a dick makes you want to slit my throat, but i cut my tongue off and gave it to you for christmas. i say i sucked my fingers and put them places, and all i want to do is feel and to be shown the different avenues of experience. Im sorry i made that gesture people did it at uni those cuts across the arm in the air a razor blade wiped clean every time wrapped up and hidden in a draw like a battle field my love like a war torn landscape. i fucking hate those people i dont know i could strangle them for their inanety for their very wretched existence on this planet.
of the splinter in my finger at close glance microscopic slow motion as a pick it from my finger and its still sore is there still something in there i will never get out i will always copy in my actions to others be a wooden
fuck the egg fuck the egg fuck the egg and they were all so strange and i was so strange in their company as i am in the meetings of strangers it it where i find myself i find myself there it is my true self when i making things up and there is an atmosphere not yet made but worth polluting and his mother was dying and he saw a drag queen make an omelette and i made my excuses from my lack of anything and you were on a chopping board waiting to be chopped and i was in the hill in the suburb of my mind in my fear of the rape of the suburb and my filming of the fish in the shop window in the night of the suburb* and my mothers words were strong and definite this is something that will affect you and you are lost i am lost lost lost i know it was a losing game to say it was what i could handle was funny and I was laughing as i tried
filming things to take back to you of my existence the evidence of my existence and the world that you could not see. parcels of light
so poorly filmed camera angles all blushing with love
Id love to have been there in that moment, frying pan on the go, quite allot of fat, like chicken breast, must be nice to eat feed someone something from your own body. penis
im sorry i was full when you wanted to fuck me. Tomorrow we are going to dinner with your family, i will have to behave like i have to, no hands under the table touching you as we eat, it will be hot, suffocatingly hot and ill have to concentrate on what i am eating not eating you
did i hurt you did i make you bleed? i wish id recorded our conversation, and ill have to read this book again and again as its urgency describes the urgency for us to be described. You said it made you open that those boundaries were closed for so long, you've been alive for a long time, no ones ever been in there no person or thing, you must really like me, for letting you do that, my bodies like what are you doing things dont go in there only come out, whats that we like it, oh i suppose we should give it a try. its not something i can describe yet this feeling of you opening up to me, i knew all along you would like it. it makes me drowsy watching you getting turned on suffocating under my hand, you want it and im going give it to you im gonna take it away and put it back in , im touching you where you've never been touched it might as well not existed you didn't exist before this moment soft in my hand and wriggling in my fist, im holding you there i wont let you go ill give you everything you want to get there ***im deep inside you i can feel your pain that something has expanded and been washed away with the penetration and skin on skin that soft place between your hip and lower thigh that could still be a babies limb(thigh) that night i spoke to a butch about being a bottom and she told me sex is just looking at someone just imagining things are there that aren’t and everyone gets fucked in every hole and space that wants it when you have not spent your life in the corners of others peoples eyes ducking from sight and fucking, would you have put things inside yourself when you were younger did you just bleed and then stop and then bleed and then stop did your blood stain the sheets did you feel like a hole like an opening to be spread across the floor and sucked from someones fingers(in a jar), to be spread across the floor, did your dad smile at you and tell you not to have seconds did he have seconds is he an asshole does he think about your vagina swelling as it does with the months of injecting vials T /of pleasure/ straight to the blood supply supplying an ever growing (cock) clitoris, you said id fucked you into a coma, i want you to sleep in my lap all day, you cried and my hands were wet when i put them on your face, your got my cheeks wet you fucker (asshole) i was saving them for a rainy day, you said you lived on one floor you said 2 women lived in your house that were sisters and never spoke did your blood stain the walls did your blood stain the walls can i eat it can i lick it from your wounds when we fuck with the jock strap on and its covered in blood it makes me think of your blood and if there was a gash between your legs a severing you apart if you will fall apart and break in half and stain the floor as i drag you across the room , can i lick it from your wounds your soft and gutteral wounds so soft like petal flesh someones cut them and theyre bleeding from your plastic appendage theres blood on your clit but im sucking it, still blood there.,wont let me inside cause of the invisible blood there, it will be there for a while trickling down, the war on your body, the thighs of a child, i touched you in a place you hadn't heard of hadn’t translated into the language coudlnt understand the cuts dont like holes skin didn't prick pickle, ulcerus skin would let anything in barriers up it hurt me when i wasn't allowed in felt like heteronormativity without the pain of boredom but a line not to be crossed but things not to be stroked or kissed or licked let me hold you in the night now I've held you and broken you and something floats inside me if only they were to know, could you be pregnant with my wanting ?
have you been spending allot of time with your parents because you know they are going to die soon, i am lonely, i need to spend more time alone, it makes you more lonely when you cant remember the last time you were alone i really would’nt know who i was if i got married now.
i like fucking you in the ass, it really gets me off, really gets me off, really turns me on really makes me want to be inside you inside your whole core cant
i am dancing in slow motion to your voice, i am filming myself dancing in slow motion to your voice, i am cutting something up while listening to your voice, i running round in circles listening to your voice, i am on the floor crying listening to your voice, i am holding myself tightly listening to your voice, I am shouting over the sound of your voice trying to make myself louder, i am hungry for you voice, i am ashamed by the space between us, i am hungry for your voice, I am holding a floor/flower for your voice, i am listening to your voice drunk with my fingers in my ears, i am drinking shots to the sound of music timed listening to your voice,- man be cool i am frying an omelette listening to your voice, i am feeling everything listening to your voice, i am feeding an audience member listening to your voice, i am surprised by myself listening to your voice, i am masc for maSCC listening to your voice, i am hoping you wont leave listening to your voice, i am wanting to throw things away listening to your voice, i haven't decided listening to your voice, i am miming along listening to your voice, i am copying you listening to your voice, i am speaking very slowly listening to your voice, i am oily listening to your voice
a happy accident might be to faint on the tube and on coming round see your face, i find there is a null space between writing of words and the performance it is to panic that one is not right that one is not enough to parallel the other, to say that what comes first what is the purpose of the speaking, how much effort should the speaking be to counteract the writing, did the writing come from an improv, how does one improv on their own, I will just have to talk to myself for the rest of my life, no the improv comes from an exercisee, starting small and fun and exploring it, not know or worrying as to where it might go, the same with writing, do you start with a goal in mind, well sometimes you have an objective but you go on a journey to get there and no decision is wrong just a manifestation from your head, nothing you could ever do if it was honest would be wrong honesty is the best policy but that doesnt mean you cant be honest and also be deceitful, be lying and be honest, be lying honestly, be copying honestly, it is a mixture of lies and truth this is performance, to use ones body as the bericle to which you tell the story or the thoughts from your brain just your very existence not he stage is radical enough, to even say one word or blink would be radical enough…
i am sad i think my father is lonely i cant see him now but can here his soft rummaging and weird noises down stairs he can scream like a mad man and is always performing his mad man routine which might infact be his personality, but like me he is just pushing the boundaries and likes to piss people off and make them feel uncomfortable, so it is sometimes hard to tell the difference, I am sad he is lonely because i cannot see him but i can hear him coughing now, and in the night, i can hear him snoring through the floor boards and i can see the snor s coming up through the air like fluffy grey clouds or waves, i am sad that he is lonely i cannot see him but i can see a dark blue space punctured with lights and that is what downstairs looks like until i go downstairs and i can see its real walls and light fixtures and i know this is the real corners not the dark corners, i think he is lonely as he asked me to go to the corner shop to get him a beer a Stella Artois and I am sad because i did not get it for him and now he is coughing he is in the sarcoughaus of the house he is under my feet i feel i am selfish i only speak to him when i want things i wish adults weren't so useless and they could tell you what was wrong like a plant or a shoal of tuna feels like stabbing in the dark into a shoal of fish trying to understand him
when I woke up i thought about your genitals how they might be wet on my face, i turned over and felt my body on the mattress, I thought had you ever done this, you never touched it when you wanked, you still dont unless you with me and were in the moment. i had a pervading fear you might leave me for another man, I watched men from your eyes, seeing them as unconquered land as something you had not tried never been touched by a man in all your years, apart from that hand job with your guitar teacher, i thought i hate that woman, i woke from a sleep of her me telling you couldn't watch it, it angered me too much, i couldn’t watch it was sickening and her fucking face i could cut it open
Soft wet thing doesnt make sense pear shaped blossom and soot covering the sides urinal polished unforgetting is it to touch another in your future, basin of doubt my mouth alludes me it goes to what has come before
(without sentence structure just using simile and metaphors and free writing compairison to do this )
I had another dream about someone else, i feel dirty im gonna have a shower, im scared your gonna change im scared your gonna leave me for another man, im scared of you have a life without me, i keep having dreams about her, every night, do i want to fuck her or am i taunted by her, im taunted by her by a past life of mine, she came to greet me and she had candy floss hair i looked a mess everyone was there and we went out and left everyone i just left for her pleasure
i get paid to be sensitive in the sensitive spot the wind touches my ankles and there nothing to do in the plain sight the pain sigh the plain sight that moves me i woke up with blurry vision am i going blind, i woke up and what i could see yesterday i can no longer see before i feels good to hold your self down to be fLat and shiny and full of a heart and skin and blood underneath to know a cut would open you up so easily to fail in the dirt failing to use your limbs to fall bewildered to go outside for once in your life have you been outside today have you have been outside today no so dont hurt me again with your stale cavity
you would growl at the man in the shop selling us peaches didn't know he had a tremor terret,s to growl not ideal for a corner shop being the only light in a dark world dark street moon time peach buying and it upset me and i thought of myself as a small child all small and childlikee as a small child when kids took it too far and you shrivelled up into your self, its when your alone with your pain, snowball in the eye water dripping from you eye in alone with myself for hours, all hazy in the background, background noise, sharp aliveness alive sadness with he dirty snow dripping from my eye or glass that i sat on, the worst would be to be maimed she said , to be maimed would be the worst, to be maimed she said would be the worst, it was only a peach pit in my skull, but you wouldn’t want a 12 inch knife in your stomach sternum would you no you wouldn’t, a peach pit stone cutting the sides of your head off, shaving an inch from yours skull, its skill to laugh again after the impact, i felt child child again, plight of the hill and the peach pit in my brain it sunk in made its self known to me, known that it would not venture out, somewhere else a man was being cut open, known to me it would not venture out, it would not venture out and to expect something of the thing before it reaches its thing hood is foolish to expect something fo the thing is foolish, is foolish when a peach pit has embedded itself into its skull sorry to be a senstitve being, sentiive in the cool of the night air, as we cross the road to avoid cars we think might kill us, where everything is the height of the wind as the rain is about to fall, as temperaturee falls, it stayed with us all night, that stone worked its way out (but that stone did not work its way out)
shouting from a place of honesty, to unravel it would take its secrets away, it was a sigh in the mind, it was my sweat on your forehead, it was something happening far away, it was that peach pit of cruelty
why did i keep eating them bending lower and lower to my fait. my knees are the first to go, too weak for what they will
its when your alone with your pain, glass in my upper thigh near the places you choose to be cut open, involuntarily penetrated and loneliness is death and i have a scar there and its when your alone with your pain
, an men described as mediateranine colouring what ever the fuck that means hindered bodies with
i am so angry at you i am gone with anger I am gone i could have made the thing and blasted it into your face i could have made the thing and blasted it into your face watever you fucking cunt go lick the dogs arse i hate you and your fucking cuffling laugh and the way you look at me when you disapprove maybe i need to be more accepting thats my fault but i could hit you right you you fucking sucker go lick the dogs arse shut up ill say goodbye and not kiss you how do you like that if only it didn't fold back on me you /dont know me at all you are fitting things into the past what you used to say what you used to think you dont actually think that anymore dont let the shit they say grind you down thats a cliche go lick the dogs arse I am full with so many voices and none of them are yours you sucker go lick the dogs arse the words you say are empty vaccums i do things for you im self entitled i want to get it wrong i do things for you im self entitled i want to get it wrong i want to be excited instead im scared i want to get it wrong go lick the dogs arse
i couldn't hate you for long, but did you hate me forever, soaking up my life, is this sharing is this toll sharing, does it hurt you too,
it comes from the soul
wind hots the window suds like a bee dying
duality of eggs and blood
Bred into my womb
to find the details and tell your story
a film from my perspective as a stalker to you
hey fossil fuel, dirty ribena, slime mould, sea potato, Ursula le Guin, get in my mouth please peasant testicle tentacle put you to sleep eat you to your heart, peace be with you, bible passage for your grandma, Eccles cake for you pegging, naked with a cap on, dim light of the room a memory not to be forggoten and then i devoured you and then i devoured you and then i devoured you and then i devoured you cherry pip cherry core cherry cherry sticks and cherry more. Lychees at the cinema a hidden satsuma grapefruit lips fruit is expensive
im worried my dad only exists in my kitchen
im proud that you told them there is something else a Zara sales assistant wouldnt get it you were trying to tell her there was a void in the floor that she could fall into this gaping hole sucking the air out the room just a dash from razor on someones face wouldnt tell it to them straight give them enough warning of their ignorance there was a hurricane a whirlwind approaching she better get her fucking brolly - probably sum it up in one sentence.
into a massive void that was shaking all the
in those slow motion moments under the lights as the corners of your body touched mine tacky red paint and screaming
in that surreal slow motion
the less im with you the more I hate you for not sugaring my existence
Iit will all pass so grab it now
it was your gold star!!
my hands smell like celeriac but this morning they smell of your scent from inside your thighs where the humming birds sing, where i laugh at our fathers for not knowing we have that scent on our fingers as we talk to them
Ilike that man who kept getting ups nd putting his hat back on
when your full with cum and adrenalin you cant feel the pain
the metaphors the rising cultures
i am funny and you are funny and in the end i think its all going to be okay
to make a real effort to smile and not put my hands under the table.
the smell of cigarettes Monday morning
do they mix the ashes and dead bodies with the food
seeing that fruit stall and thinking that was where you were mine but i was not yours
i was your baby and i used to suck your chin
Never yours
Theres a man bow legged and he's walking, did his mum know not to wrap him round her chest like that so his legs would grow in the shape of her love and rib cage
the ground is lavender, looks like lichen, bluebells maybe just floating above the grass, a hat, a bonnet of flowers
i pass blisets where the man speaks in burps
throat cancer has made him funny without realizing
we walk along and our our knees in the right place?
we use sticks, we use plastic wheeled things, i am late, we use stealth, accents and alter egos, i channeled into a man selling big issue suddenly i am Liverpudlian so he recognises me as his own and forgives me for no money
she grows it but it looks better short
im late and bins line the pavement
i woke up in shock this morning and apologised in my sleep
Reeds
they will cut it off soon
film haircut march poem pics love
funny watch
even though can is hilarious
i fancy people who look like they've been found under a rock.
i rip my hair our its pieces
i am holding back
from every circle of my life
shame theres no poppies just unruly black hairs vying for attention
my love
not in our forehead or fingers
it is your ex girl friend
in awe of all the others creatures
i saw a bird with a ketchup packet
to call to each other reference each other tell each other things that are subconscious or just things. I call you bitch, the source, trans jelly, lichen, kitten , chicken tikka masala, midlands, it goes on. Im a rabbit in your keeping your your so small, smaller than me.
i hear you are on quest is that true? and you were born this morning, how is the world treating you? Im going to tell you some truths about the world.. have you learnt about hot and cold yet? Christmas trees have very short lives, sometimes the sun shines too much and you go red, you like icecream, you also like the beach and walking with your shoes off, you really like steak, cartoons and you are very kind.
the reason i cant really talk very clearly is because i have cut my tongue out and given it to you as a present.
I cut your tongue off and gave it to you for christmas.
ill cut an old woman face off and lay it in mine and scream like a goddess in battle as we sit on the tube cutting a mans head off with the slight of a blink in my fantasy that could be real if you will it.
if i had a 3d printer
i take you and i raise you to the highest peaks, dont bring us down.
and not spunk.
Middle ages people with their politics and booze that nor really fair i like them allot and they've livedI
as we have discovered a whole new worl
it feels great cause you know they are just particles of nothing and every part of your face is ——-gleaming.
boat to under the river where snails .
and ill nev
left me with a mound of flesh
for moths to come
my truth, my witty ex
Transface
Political nipples
Squirm
Beetle juice
Metamorphic
your such a tease
Tardigrade
0 notes