#perfect now is so accurately about him yep yep

[kiaxet]

HOW ABOUT THAT @somerandomdudelmao DISASTER TWIN REUNION, HUH

Went a little feral to the tune of 2.2K words of self-indulgence. What else is new?

~~~~~~~

Donnie can't sleep. More accurately, he won't sleep. Not until he's done. He'd never been one to leave a project unfinished; death and resurrection hadn't changed that.

He taps incessantly, repetitively, on a keyboard and screen, the motions long since past inputting data and now only serving to keep him awake. The repetition is soothing, easy, and - counterintuitively - he finds his head drooping forward into sleep-

And he snaps back upright. No. Not until he can confirm Leo is okay.

Leo is behind him, he knows. Breathing. In bed. Asleep. Very much alive. And-

He jumps and whips around as a thud sounds behind him. "What the-"

Leo is on the floor.

Well, that answers the question as to whether his twin is awake.

For a fraction of a second, part of him wavers uncertainly. He loves his idiot twin. The question he hasn't been able to answer is whether his reaction to Leo waking up will fall on love or idiot twin-

"Leo!"

He can hear the exasperation in his voice, and yep, it's the latter. He takes a knee next to Leo and hauls him into his arms, lecturing him all the while, and if he can hear the annoyance in his voice then Leo sure as hell can. Sleep deprivation for the purposes of keeping his brother's soul alight had done nothing for his temper. "I swear to God, all you had to do was make a sound! Why are you such a difficult patient?"

He deposits Leo carefully on the bed - "Sit still!" - and checks him over, running every scan he can think of and making sure his brother's new body really is in good working order, spouting increasingly irritated commentary all the while. Of course the fall didn't hurt him - Leo is tougher than that, and Donnie does better work than that - but he still can't help the rising anxiety in his throat.

This almost didn't happen.

"-stupid, stupid selfless idiot!"

Donnie almost couldn't save him.

"Grrhh-"

Leo nearly died for real. Permanently beyond Donnie's reach. Well and truly gone-

"Do you have any idea how close you were to having nothing left to save?"

And now here Leo is, in perfect health, sitting on Donnie's bed with a big dopey grin on his face as Donnie chokes on his anxiety and damn near shakes himself apart-

Oh for fuck's sake.

"Hey. Are you even listening?"

Leo speaks up for the first time since he's woken up, voice shaky from disuse. "D-Donnie?"

And that is not a goddamn answer to anything Donnie has been saying, because of course it isn't. It's Leo. He's always had his own priorities. "Yeah. No. You're not fucking listening." Donnie heaves a long-suffering sigh, sinking back into the routine comfort that irritation at his twin provides. "At least you're talking." Small favors. "Although I'm surprised you're not throwing your stupid jokes at me." Even smaller favors.

He stops short as Leo's hand closes around his wrist, drawing Donnie's arm to Leo's plastron. "You're real," his brother breathes, looking from Donnie's hand to Donnie himself with tears streaming down his face. "You're real!"

And then, in the space of a thought, Leo's joy breaks, his smile turning desperate. "Are you?"

For a moment, Donnie stares at his twin, wondering at the sudden change in expression. He takes a breath-

And the part of him that had lain dormant for so long after he'd woken up - the part of him that had been screaming for his twin's safety ever since they'd recovered the few scattered embers of Leo's soul - gasps to life, blooming like a time-lapse video of a flower and reaching to the edges of Donnie's soul. Leo had called it their twin sense, and Donnie hadn't had it in him to argue after a while. Whatever it is, it's back, connected to Leo's renewed presence, and-

Donnie's heart floods with emotions. Relief and joy sprout quickly and are nearly swept away in a tide of exhaustionanxietyfearfearfearfearFEAR-

But down beneath it all, steady against the rising wall of terror, is the little blue spark of hope that his brother always carried. His core. The thing that let him continue on in the face of insurmountable odds, and lent that same strength to everyone around him. A ninja's greatest weapon.

It's Leo. It's Leo-

And Donnie can't leave him alone in his fear. Not when there's no need for it. Not when they're safe.

He lets that breath out, and sits next to Leo on the bed. "Mhm. I'm alive. And you're alive. We're safe. The Krang are gone." That's all the news that's fit to print, or at least the most important parts. What else does he have to say?

Oh.

"I'm sorry I..uh…"

He's sorry he what? Died? Left a mess for Leo to deal with? Didn't do enough while he was alive to keep everyone else alive in turn after he was gone? Kept his brother's soul in a fucking mug, because that was the only way he could ensure he wouldn't break it while Leo was still fragile? All of the above?

…yeah, it's all of the above.

He owes Leo one hell of an apology, and he's never been good at any of this, so instead he shrugs haplessly and leans forward, pulling Leo into his arms and hanging on tight.

It's a matter of moments before Leo has him flat on his shell on the bed and is sobbing into his arms. Normally he'd hate seeing his twin cry, but it's proof of life - proof that Leo made it, that his soul is intact enough for him to still be Leo, that he's alive and awake and here - and Donnie will take it.

And if he's squeezing Leo back pretty hard himself, well, that's fine too. Nobody else needs to know.

~~~~~~~

Donnie is yelling at him.

Donnie is strong enough to have picked Leo up off the ground, well enough to be on his feet without support, running tests and reading Leo the riot act over his latest boneheaded maneuver - in this case, forgetting he was missing an arm and falling out of bed.

Donnie is yelling at him, because Donnie is here to yell at him.

And Leo is smiling, because he couldn't be happier. He lets the words wash over him, draping over his shoulders like a favorite cozy blanket that he'd lost so many years ago, and he basks in the warmth that is his brother's voice and smiles.

It's enough to interrupt the yelling for a question, though he doesn't really hear it - just keeps smiling, and says Donnie's name, and it's so nice to be able to say it with a smile now, because Donnie is here-

-he is, right? This isn't just a dying hallucination on Leo's part, right?

(It couldn't be- he remembers his death, remembers breathing his last, remembers being trapped- but this-)

He reaches out, taking Donnie's wrist in hand, and pulls his brother closer to him. "You're…real…" It certainly feels real - skin and scales, softer than his own, and his fingers barely fit all the way around the wrist instead of encircling them with room to spare - and he stares down at it, tears rolling down his face as he finally looks back up at his twin. "You're real!"

The Krang show you what you want to see.

The thought strikes him unbidden, turning his joy and relief to ice. It's a well-known fact: a Krang infection can show its host what they want to see, visions of comfort and family and home, and extract intel from the host's reactions. He knows that- he knows that, and-

And he'd died surrounded by Krang- and even if he couldn't see or hear or feel, he knows he'd been held captive-

But it's Donnie- he wants this to be real- he needs this to be real- he wants his twin back so badly he can't think, and the idea that this could be a Krang hallucination is almost too much to bear-

"Are you?" He can hear how choked the words are as they leave his lips, but he needs to know-

And Donnie stops, and sits down next to him, and tells him everything he wants to hear - everything he could've ever wished for. They're alive. They're safe. The Krang are gone. It all sounds too good to be true.

And then Donnie offers him an apology and a sad half-smile, pulling him into a strong hug-

And the ice in Leo's mind shatters in a flood of warmth as his twin sense opens for the first time since Donnie's death. He feels his twin's irritation, and deep-seated exhaustion, and a choking wave of guiltguiltguiltguiltguilt-

And beneath it all, steady and strong as ever, the thrum of unending determination, powered by an unfathomably deep well of love. It's the backbeat to the melody of Leo's life, the point-counterpoint to his own heartbeat- it's something he'd never had to live without until he did, but it's back, rushing in to fill the silence he'd known with the strength to go on and the knowledge that he is loved loved loved, strong and overwhelming and all-encompassing in the way only Donnie can love-

It's something the Krang could never imitate.

This is real. This is all real-

He throws himself against his twin, toppling them both over on the bed as he clings to Donnie, unable to stand even a fraction of an inch of space between them, as though he could push their hearts together through their plastrons, and he cries, sobbing out worry and terror and grief and the slow, crushing exhaustion of a losing battle finally lost. He cries as though the world was ending - and it had, once when the Krang had invaded and again every time he'd lost a member of his family, over and over until he'd sent his last hope through a portal that had cost his littlest brother his life and succumbed to death himself.

And now he's alive. Here, wherever here is, with Donnie. Clinging to his twin, and being held in turn as Donnie gently sits them both up, never letting go as Leo cries himself out.

It takes a while - long enough for Leo's gaze to settle into a stare and his thoughts to settle into a comfortable static. He's alive, Donnie is alive, and he has no fucking idea what else is going on, but he's just going to be okay with that for now.

His thoughts rouse enough to inform him of something wrong - the line of tension Donnie is carrying down his neck and over his shoulders. That won't do. Leo could try to massage it out with one hand, maybe try to get Donnie to talk about it, but Donnie never likes to talk about it, and Leo isn't one for slowly soothing away tension when he can just take an axe to the release valve instead. Plus, it gives him something definite to focus on, instead of…this whole situation. Whatever 'this whole situation' actually is.

Donnie had mentioned his stupid jokes, right?

"H-hey Dee?" His voice wavers from disuse, thick with tears, but he pushes through. "Why did- why did the tree buy a camera?"

"What?" Oh, Donnie is not going to see this coming. Excellent.

"To do a photosynthesis." It's nowhere near the level of pizazz he normally uses for a punchline delivery - he's still too tired and frazzled and clinging to Donnie entirely too hard for that - but that beautiful pause of a terrible joke sinking in tells him it had hit home nonetheless. Donnie moves - he can hear the telltale slap of face meeting palm - and then breaks down into helpless laughter, smacking the back of Leo's shell as the tension Leo had felt in his twin's shoulders abruptly relaxes. Good. It worked.

"This is so fucking stupid," is all Donnie manages as his laughter fades, and he slumps fully against Leo with a murmur. That's...abrupt. Sure, Leo had felt Donnie's exhaustion, but he hadn't realized it'd been that bad. He takes hold of Donnie, gently laying him down on the bed to rest-

Remember what happened last time Donnie fell asleep next to you.

He gasps sharply at the thought - not again NEVER again - and keeps his hand steady as he moves, laying both fingers gently against Donnie's neck and feeling for his pulse. It's easy to find, strong and steady and even, like it had been before the infection had taken Donnie's vitality and then his life.

But he's alive, and healthy, and sleeping. He's okay. And Leo-

Leo moves his hand to the side of his own neck. His pulse is also easy to find, quickened with the adrenaline of an unknown situation and multiple consecutive shocks to his system.

Okay. Take stock. Assess. Figure out a plan from there.

He's alive. Donnie's alive. The Krang are gone. And everything else…is a big fat question mark, with no easy answers and no indication as to where to begin looking for them.

Well.

Uh.

"What the fuck," Leo whispers to the room at large, as though the walls could answer.

~~~~~~~

(A world away and still very close, a younger pair of twins cling to one another the way a drowning man clings to driftwood: desperately, clutching tight, as though letting go will spell their doom. Neither of them know where the emotions came from, or why; all they know is that each of them are damn glad the other is alive, and they'll do everything they can to make sure that continues to be the case.)

(What the fuck, indeed.)

#rottmnt #cass apocalyptic series #future leo #future donnie #fic #writing #cw sibling death #mention of it at least #referencing the scrapped movie storyboards because it's too good a beat to pass up #we have fun here #no gods no betas we die like NOBODY BECAUSE DONNIE FUCKING FIXED IT #I GUESS #twin sense shit is my FUCKING JAM #inexplicable mystic bonds between two halves of a whole? sign me the FUCK up #I couldn't decide whose POV to write this from so I just did both #which is WHY it's 2K+ words #it's not perfect but it's Good Enough and therefore it's getting posted #fuck it we ball

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

The Stirrings in the Junkyard

Summary: A one-shot set during season 2. Eddie was hanging out in the junkyard when he caught sight of a side of Steve Harrington that no one had ever seen before, and it caused quite a stir in Eddie's secret romantic heart. Also, with a side of monsters.

Eddie was just minding his own business, really. Here he was, late at night, sitting in a junked out old car that he turned into a little fort. Wayne's trailer was occupied tonight. . .their trailer was occupied tonight. He was still getting used to calling it that since he moved in a few months or so ago. Well, officially anyway, he's lived there on and off the last few years since he was eight. It wasn't until his goddamn house burned down due to his own stupid decision-making skills and his father's that he had to move in with Wayne. Not that he was complaining. He loved Wayne. He just missed that house sometimes, the house his mom had picked out herself. He sighed and tried to get the image of his mother's records going up in smoke out of his head and focused on the book he was reading under a flashlight. That's when he heard it, the sound of hushed voices and something. . . something growling.

Shit, was the junkyard occupied by someone else tonight? Eddie sighed and rolled his eyes. He finally found a perfect place to escape to, and someone else was here. God, was it someone doing something sketchy. . .like maybe a drug deal. Eddie snorted. He was the one to talk, considering he had just started selling drugs to help pay the bills. Shit, did he have competition? No, these sounded like kid's voices, and someone was yelling for a guy named Steve. Eddie peered through the broken door frame from the back seat of the car. His eyes widened when he saw what was next to the very car that he was in. At first, he thought that it was a fucked up looking dog but there was no way that this creature belonged here on Earth. There was just no fucking way.

Eddie slapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from yelling out. One sound and he was done for. The creature was black with long, gangly looking limbs. It walked on all four of them, so it was an easy mistake to make, thinking it was a dog. It had no face. No eyes. No nose. No mouth. How did it eat? Oh God, he didn't want to find out. That's when he saw him, out of the corner of his eye. Steve Harrington. He stood in front of the bus like a guardian or a knight, a nail studded baseball bat in his hand and wielding it like a sword. He could see kids' faces peeking out and calling for him. Steve was protecting them. He was a gallant handsome knight, protecting his young charges. He's more like a paladin, really, Eddie thought. Wait, handsome? He must have let out a wimper because suddenly, the creature was trying to get into the car.

"Shit!" Eddie cursed as he backed away from the window and pressed himself up against the other door.

Suddenly, the creature's non face opened up to a giant flowery shaped mouth with thousands of rows of teeth. He was going fucking die. . .or so he thought. A moment later, he saw more creatures approach Steve, and Eddie watched for a moment as Steve took a swing at one, hitting it with everything he had. Eddie couldn't stop watching the swing of his hips. The creature growled and moved away from the window. It joined the others in their fight against Steve. Eddie couldn't stop watching the way he moved. The man was breathtaking, a word he never used to describe a man before, but it was accurate. The word belonged to Steve, and now, suddenly, Eddie could see what so many of the girls were saying about him. He was utterly gorgeous. Yep, Eddie Munson had a crush on a boy. Goddamnit, those stupid jocks were right. He wasn't straight. He wasn't gay either though.

"Fuck," Eddie muttered.

Suddenly, the creatures ran off like they were called away, and for whatever reason, Eddie still couldn't stop watching Steve. Okay, he knew about his crush and the things that go bump in the night, Eddie could look away now. He was in awe of Steve Harrington, though, completely enamored, and he couldn't look away. He watched as Steve ran his hands through his hair, and Eddie's eyes followed his tongue darting out to wet his lips. Eddie licked his own. Steve’s side was turned to him so he could see his profile pretty well in the moonlight. Eddie's eyes followed past his hair and down the curvature of his back. He liked the way his back curved, and Eddie could image running his hands down it until they rested against the small of his back. . .maybe even cupping his well-rounded ass. Holy shit, you could probably bounce a nickel off that thing. That's when he realized he was being watched. Steve’s eyes were on his or were they? He couldn't see him, right? Steve started moving toward the car. Shit.

"Steve, come on, they're heading toward the lab!" A boy shrieked.

"I thought I saw - Nevermind! Wait for me, you little shitheads!" Steve yelled.

Eddie sunk low and laid down against the seat. He pressed a hand to his chest to calm his racing heart. He shut his eyes tight, hoping that it had all been a dream. He wasn't sure when he had drifted off to sleep, but when he had opened his eyes again, sunlight was peaking through the window. Shit! Eddie sat up and quickly climbed out of the car. Wayne was going to be worried. He hopped in his van and drove off. When he got back to the trailer, Wayne was waiting for him out on the couch out front. It was earlier than he thought it was. The sun hadn't quite woken all the way up yet. Eddie plopped down next to him on the couch.

"Your friend leave?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah. You fall asleep in the car again?" Wayne asked.

"Yep," Eddie said, his leg shaking.

"You know, you don't have to keep doing that. Going to the junkyard," Wayne said.

"It's fine. I loved it there," Eddie said.

"You look a little pale there. Is everything okay?" Wayne asked.

Eddie looked at him and debated on whether or not he should tell him. Knowing his uncle and his conspiracy theories, he knew he would believe him if he said anything. It was best to keep it quiet.

"You ever ran away from something because people were telling you that's who you are, and they acted like it was a bad thing, but really, you didn't want them to be right because of your own stupid fears?" Eddie asked.

"Tried to run away from being a Munson when I was younger," Wayne shrugged. "But then I realized it wasn't just my daddy who shared the name but my mama too. She chose to be a Munson even after everything he put us through and even after he died. I ain't ashamed of it no more because you're one too, and I'm happy to share it with you, too."

"The crazy thing is, is that I never thought that it was a bad thing, I just ran away from it, and I don't know why," Eddie said.

"Looking into a mirror and being aware you're looking at yourself can be an unsettling thing. It's hard to open up to people and even harder to open up to yourself," Wayne said. "You want to tell me what this is all about, son?"

"I like women, but I also like. . . ," Eddie said and suddenly pictured his own dad walking out of his life, giving him pause. ". . . I also like men."

He was leaning forward, sitting on the very edge of the couch and trying his hardest not to look at Wayne. Suddenly, he was pulled back, and Wayne was hugging him tightly to his chest.

"You're my boy, and ain't nothing going to change that," Wayne said. "I love you, kid."

"I love you, too," Eddie sniffled as Wayne kissed the top of his head, and Eddie pulled back.

"Besides, you really thought the friend that I invited over here last night was a woman?" Wayne asked.

"You're - "

"Gay. Always have been," Wayne said.

"You never said," Eddie said.

"You never asked. I never asked you either. I figured you would come to me when you were ready," Wayne said.

Eddie sighed, grinning, and leaned back. He sank lower into the couch and rested his head on Wayne's shoulder like he used to do. They watched the sun wake all the way up, shining down over the trailer park as though it was letting them know that everything was going to be okay. For a moment, Eddie believed in the sun, and then he remembered the creatures in the junkyard. The image of the teeth chowing down on Uncle Wayne popped into his head. He couldn't stop the shudder from coming. He wouldn't let anything happen to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure there isn't anything else that you want to talk about?"

"I'm good, Uncle Wayne. I'm all good."

He had been hoping to talk to Steve that very day at school, but he wasn't there that day, nor was he there the following day. The next time he saw him was on Monday, and it looked like someone had done a number on his face. He managed to get him alone when Eddie himself was also going to the bathroom. He had spotted Steve going in first. He waited a moment before following him in there. Steve hadn't noticed him at all, struggling with the lid of a Tylenol bottle. Eddie made sure no one else was in the stalls before locking the bathroom. He swiped the bottle from Steve’s hand and hopped up on the bathroom counter.

"Those are not going to help you," Eddie said.

"And how do you know what's going to help me, Dr. Munson?" Steve scoffed.

"I've been called worse," Eddie said, cackling. "I don't know if you've heard about what I've been doing lately - "

"Selling weed," Steve said.

"Yes, that," Eddie said. "It's going to help you a lot more than these things will."

"I don't have a whole lot of money on me," Steve said, looking embarrassed.

Eddie tilted his head, studying him. He looked weak, pathetic, and sad like the bruises weren't the only things that were hurting him. He was curious about the bruises and it won out.

"What happened to your face, man?" Eddie asked.

"I don't really want to talk about it," Steve winced.

Eddie could tell that he meant that. He wanted so badly to tell Steve about what he had witnessed in the junkyard, but he could see it in his eyes that whatever he went through, he didn't want to talk about it. Maybe another day.

"Okay. Do you still want the weed then?" Eddie asked.

"I told you, I don't have a lot of money on me," Steve said.

"I don't want your money," Eddie said softly.

"What?" Steve asked.

Eddie couldn't believe what he was saying next. He couldn't believe how brave he was being considering that Steve could punch his lights out. Maybe he was just being stupid.

"A kiss," Eddie said.

"A kiss?" Steve asked. "From. . .?"

"You."

"Right. On the cheek or. . .?"

Eddie puckered his lips at him, and Steve swallowed. Oh, this was stupid. Steve was going to kill him. Suddenly, though, Steve was moving closer to Eddie and spreading his legs apart before stepping in between them. Steve grabbed Eddie's legs and slid him closer, very roughly. Eddie wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulder as the sudden movement, grabbing the back of his jacket. Steve’s face was very close to his, his lips hovering over Eddie's lips.

"I'm not doing this for the weed," he whispered.

And then Steve was kissing him, like actually kissing him. It was like out of a goddamn romance novel, the kinds that Eddie always denies reading when people ask him, the kind that he was reading in the car in the junkyard. He gasped, his mouth opening when he realized he had left his book in the junkyard. Like he always does, he put his name on the inside cover. Steve slipped his tongue in his mouth, and suddenly, every thought fell out of his head. Eddie moved his other hand into his hair, his legs squeezing his hips as he moaned. Steve cupped the back of his head, his large hand cradling him so gently. Suddenly, Eddie became very aware that the hands holding him so delicately, so softly, were man hands. The lips that were on his were a guy's. Eddie broke the kiss with a gasp, feeling very overwhelmed.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked, cupping his cheek.

"Yeah, I just - ," Eddie trailed off.

"This is your first time kissing a guy?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I'm going to guess that it's not the first time for you," Eddie said.

"Yeah," Steve said.

"I'm sorry, I only just figured out that I like guys, and I thought I was ready, especially when I saw you, but I don't think I'm quite there yet. Sorry, if - " Eddie babbled.

"Eddie," Steve said softly, his thumb stroking his cheekbone. "It's okay. Take your time. Breathe."

Eddie inhaled and slowly exhaled, leaning his face into Steve’s soft touch.

"Thank you," Eddie whispered.

"Take your time, man. When you're ready, come and find me," Steve said. "I'm in the big book."

"The bible?!" Eddie exclaimed.

Okay, yeah, that kiss turned his brain into oatmeal. Goddamnit.

"The phonebook," Steve laughed and grabbed the Tylenol bottle from Eddie. "You're right, I don't need this. I feel much better."

He kissed the tip of Eddie's nose, and he walked out of the room with a spring in his step. Eddie eyes were glued to his backside the entire time he walked away. He ended up leaning so far forward that he fell off the counter and onto the floor. Eddie flopped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Oh, I am in trouble," Eddie said.

It was a statement he repeated a couple of years later, when Chrissy Cunningham died in his trailer and he was hiding out in Reefer Rick's boathouse. He never expected him to show up, and he certainly never expected to see him after Eddie pushed himself away after Eddie distanced himself like a coward that he is. Eddie didn't deny himself after that kiss. He even went up to Indianapolis and discovered the term for himself. Eddie Munson was a full-blown bisexual. He wasn't afraid of that anymore. No, it was the fear of actually getting close to someone in an intimate manner of letting his guard down that kept him at bay. He had hoped that Steve somehow knew. As Eddie pushed him up against the wall of that boathouse, he could see it in Steve's eyes. Steve knew. He cupped Eddie's face and brushed his thumb against his cheekbone.

"It's okay, take your time, breathe. It's okay, Eddie," Steve said softly.

Eddie whimpered, leaned into his touch, and dropped the beer bottle. He buried his face into Steve’s neck. He broke down sobbing as Steve wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just ran," Eddie sobbed.

After that, everything happened so fast. They barely had time to talk except for that little moment in the woods in the Upside Down, where they admitted that they had been jealous of each other's relationship with Dustin. God, he really did love that little dude, and yeah, every time Dustin brought up Steve’s name, he had been a little jealous, but he had also felt guilty about not going to Steve. That one stupid kiss felt so perfect but also final, and it was like he realized he was never going to have a first kiss ever again. They had barely interacted, but when Eddie saw Steve swinging that bat in the junkyard and protecting those kids, he had known in that moment that this guy was it for him. God, did that scare the shit out of him, so he ran away.

"Hey," a magical voice sang to him.

White lights floated above him, and he furrowed his brow in confusion. There's no way in hell. . .

"Am I in fucking Heaven? Who in their right mind would let me through the gate? Oh my God! What's that obnoxious beeping sound? Someone get your fucking food, man," Eddie groaned and then he blinked more clearly to find that Steve was sitting by his bedside. "Yeah, I am in Heaven. There's a fucking angel sitting beside me."

Steve grinned and blushed. Eddie heard giggling coming from somewhere. He looked around and groaned. He was in a goddamn hospital and surrounded by his uncle as well as the members of the party.

"Don't be embarrassed, son. That's not the worst thing you ever said," Wayne told him. "I could tell everyone about the time you got your appendix out, and you told the nurse - "

"Nothing! I told her nothing!" Eddie exclaimed.

"It's good to see you're awake, Eddie," Nancy said as she started to push everyone out of the room.

"Um, okay, I guess I'm not as interesting now that you guys can no longer watch me sleep," Eddie said.

"We're giving you some time, son," Wayne said.

"Time for what?" Eddie asked with wide eyes. "Time for what, Uncle Wayne?!"

He didn't answer, just followed everyone out of the room, leaving Eddie alone with Steve.

"This isn't the first time you woke up, you know," Steve said.

"It's not?" Eddie asked.

"No, you were still pretty out of it. You kept apologizing to me about waiting too long, then something how when you saw me swinging that bat in the junkyard protecting the kids, that you knew I was it for you," Steve blushed. "And you said it scared the shit out of you which, I totally get."

"You do?" Eddie said.

"Do you think that you're the first person who ever ran away from big scary feelings? You're not. I mean, why do you think that I didn't chase after you? I had just gotten dumped, I was still hurting pretty bad, and suddenly, the guy that I've been crushing on since freshman year wanted to kiss me. I pushed you away too because when I kissed you, I knew you were it for me too," Steve said. "It was easier to run than to risk getting hurt again. I think I'm ready to take that risk, if you are."

"Yeah," Eddie said, grinning when Steve took his hand and kissed it.

"So, I guess you never went back to that junkyard after that because when I went there, I found this," Steve grinned.

He pulled out a book from his pocket and wiggled it in front of Eddie. It was his romance novel. With his name writing on the inside cover.

"Oh, no," Eddie said.

"Oh, yes, Eddie Munson likes romance novels," Steve grinned. "Apparently, he has a type, too. You know that guy on the cover looks awfully familiar. I think I've seen a guy like him in the mirror a time or too. I've got better hair, though."

"Goddamnit, how do you make being a bitch look so sexy?" Eddie muttered.

"It's a God-given talent, baby," Steve winked. "Now, let's crack open this bad boy because you're in luck, I happen to love romance novels too, and I haven't read this one yet."

With one hand, he held the book, and the other he held Eddie's. Eddie, meanwhile, gazed lovingly at him as he listened to him read. Steve paused for a moment before pulling out a pair of glasses from his pocket and slipping it onto his face. Oh God. He has glasses. Yep, Eddie Munson was completely gone for this man. Time of Love - wait, there's no fucking clock in this room. Goddamnit. Time is a funny thing. One minute, you're just minding your own business, and the next thing you know, you have got the best thing that ever happened to you reading by your hospital bed. Time, what a mischievous bitch.

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #bisexual steve harrington #bisexual eddie munson #bi4bi #wayne munson #good ol' uncle wayne #eddie & wayne #stranger things fanfiction #rueleigh writes

[makelemonade]

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐱 F!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐬; PT2

Summary: I think the title speaks for itself but basically what movie you and the Genshin men are in

Characters/Relations; Ayato and Kaeya Warnings: SWEARING. mentions of blood, death, swords, fights, WAR, uhm thoma is lowkey an opp in the first one, arranged marriages, these are not fully accurate to the movies more like 97% is accurate but wtv

under the cut!!

Mulan; Ayato

🎶Look at me; I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter. Can it be, I'm not meant to play this part? Now I see, that if I were truly to be myself, I would break my families heart🎶

Ngl it was between him or neuvilette and im ngl to u guys i havent played genshin in a WHILE like I just got back into it so i havent had enough time to go too much into depth on him

Okay anyways on with the story

The cast would def be Mushu as Itto, your pet can be taroumaru and the three men bsfs can be Heizou, Kazuha, Gorou

okay so mulan, AKA YOU, is a girl who is just trying to bring honour to her family and marry a wealthy man

However you are an absolute klutz who has a puppy for some reason and of course on the day you’re supposed to get ready to meet your matchmaker, yOU WAKE UP LATE

Your alarm went off after you snoozed it multiple times and you gasped

“SHIT! TAROUMARU!!” You jumped out of bed, bumping into anything and everything as you struggled to get your slippers on. You ran into the kitchen, and the little dog came running in, holding herbs in his mouth

You grabbed them, then running to grab a cup as you poured hot tea in then the herbs. You ran outside to a gazebo to find your father praying

Zhongli noticed your hurry and looked at you shocked “aren’t you supposed to be out by now!”

HE WAS RIGHT

So you spent all your time getting ready and took your horse out to the city, just to find your mom outside the bathhouse ready to kill you

The ladies rushed to get you ready, a face full of makeup, a dress that was wayyy too tight on you, an umbrella? And your grandma for some reason gave you a little cricket named ushi for “luck”

Except you BOMBED the interview with the matchmaker and she kicked you out and told you that you’d never be an honour for your family

Going home ur like ABSOLUTELY DEPRESSED like she was such a bitch but to make matters worse, you could hear drums and people started to gather around meaning The Shogun’s army was here and ready to take a male of each family fight in the war

You prayed they wouldn’t take your dad- he’s fought before, he was old and in no condition

WRONG.

He accepts it with honour DESPITE being on a limp and needing a pimp

So, that night, you decide to cut your hair and slick it back tightly, you wrap boob tape and covers all around your chest to make you absolutely flat as fuck and you take your fathers armour and you and your horse LEAVE.

Your grandma, ping, wakes up right after and notices and prays to your ancestors to send someone to protect you

You made it to the camp by morning and you were mentally preparing yourself; how do men act?!

THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THIS LITTLE LIZARD DRAGON THING COMES OUT OF NOWHERE and is saying he is here to protect you

“Uhm? A lizard?” “DRAGON!”

So, you get to the camp and well

You start a fight

“YOU!”

You hear someone yell after you just got jumped by ur now new opps and literally on the ground ready to die

You look up and see this BEAUTIFUL MAN with light blue hair, he was muscular he was HOT.

“Whats your name?” He asked You cleared your throat, “Uhm………..Itto Mundo.” Hidden in your armour was itto, “GIRL DONT YOU GO USING MY NAME!” You hit him, telling him to shut up

Ayato looked at the list “I didn’t know Zhongli had a son!”

“Yep! He likes to keep me hidden!” You stumbled as you stood up

“I can see why,” One of your OPPS, Kazuha, muttered and everyone laughed

Ayato went on to talk about how this is WAR and you realized you were so fucked

The next days of training were absolute hell. Somehow no one realized you were actually a girl yet; Ayato always targeted you because he knew you were the weakest

One day he proposes an idea to everyone; There was a thick wooden pole, about maybe 20 metres. Everyone had to try and climb it, get to the top and throw down the arrow, but with two weighted straps

You obviously fail

One night, abate tells you to go home and that your too weak BUT HELL NO your gonna stay away from this hot man

So you use your weights to climb up the pole, and by morning when he wakes up, he jumps back when you shoot an arrow down at him

From then on you become PERFECT. You’ve been away for 3 months now, and you were EATINGGGG

Then came the actual war part

In the cold winter you were all going through the mountains; You had become friends with your opps. Heizou, Kazuha and Gorou would talk about what they missed back home and wanted to go back to their girlfriends and then asked you if you had anyone

“She’s not my girl, but my best friend. her names Y/N, she’s great she’s brilliant she’s sexy she’s-“ “Set her up with Ayato.” Gorou snorted, nudging the man on his horse. “He needs to marry soon.”

Ayato just rolled his eyes and you laughed at that but it was screaming HELL YEAHHHH

Then you got attacked BY THE REAL OPPS

Long story short you and Ayato almost died; You shot a missile at a mountain causing an avalachance which sent everyone down- You and Ayato were on your horse and tied to a rope that Gorou was supposed to hold as you both went down but HE LET GO OF IT and started crying because he thought he killed you two BUT ITTO came to the rescue somehow

Once you two were back on safe ground and the opps were most likely dead under the snow avalachance, you almost screamed out to the gods for saving you

Ayato came up to you, “You saved me…I don’t know how I can ever repay you.” “A kiss?” Itto whispered and you slapped your armour but then you let out a yelp of pain as you fell to the ground and Ayato kneeled, “Hey, hey what happened?” You reached to the side of your stomach to feel blood seeping through Ayato’s eyes widened as he spun around. “HE’S WOUNDED! WE NEED MEDICS!” You could feel yourself slowly lose your breath and your eyes close as Ayato kept repeating “It’s okay, I got you.”

An hour later, everyone impatient and scared, a medic came out of the tent with a strained look that scared Ayato. “Dead?” He asked. The medic shook his head and encouraged Ayato to come into the tent -Seeing the brightness of the sun and snow seep into your tent, your eyes slowly opened and were grateful to see Ayato, but he was only staring down at you in shock You were about to ask what, until you realized the tape over your chest was slowly starting to fall off and you gasped, grabbing a blanket and pulling it up Just then, his right-hand man, Thoma, walked in and gasped. In seconds, you were thrown out of the tent, blanket covering you and everyone stared in shock. “SHE’S A WOMAN!” Thoma yelled as he and Ayato came out the tent. You kneeled, “My name is Y/N!” You turned to look at Ayato, who had his back faced to you. “I did it to save my father.” “TREASON!’ Thoma yelled “I didn’t mean for it to go this far!” “DISHONOUR” “It was the only way! Please! Believe me…” Ayato walked towards your horse, and put his hand into the satch to pull out a sword You bowed your head down, ready to face your fate. Gorou, Kazuha and Heizou tried to stop it, but Thoma stopped them. “You know the law,” Ayato now stood in front of you, sword out. You looked at him with pleading eyes, but knew it was no help, and instead choose to look down to the ground, waiting for the sword to swing down onto your head. But then, he threw it beside you and you looked up to his hurt eyes. “A life for a life.” Your eyes widened, realizing he was sparing you

Thoma tried to fight him, but he didn’t budge, and they ended up leaving you there, ready to head to the capitol and celebrate their win

HOWEVER, the opps weren’t dead you WATCHED THEM COME OUT OF THE GROUND.

“I have to warn Ayato!” You yelled, putting on any extra clothes you packed, aka for some reason a dress and prepared your horse. Itto screamed. “HELLO? THEY JUST SPROUTED OUT THE GROUNDS LIKE DAISIES? AFTER AN AVALANCHE KILLED THEM.” “We need to warn them!” You were stern

Okay long story short you end up saving inazuma blah blah and ayato apologies and the Raiden Shogun says that you have honoured her and the entirety of Inazuma and she tells you to return home

So now, 5 months later, you return home to your family who literally cries when they see you and you tell them you SAVED INAZUMA

Ping isn’t amused. “You didn’t bring home a man?”

BUT, AYATO COMES!!

He brings your sword that you left and thanks you for everything and apologizes once again, and it felt too awkward to have a goodbye like this so you ask him if he’d like to stay for dinner.

“WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?” Ping screams and you inhaled sharply.

The Princess Diaries II; Kaeya

Okay ngl the original story I was gonna do for kaeya was acc princess and the frog and I felt like I was gonna get cancelled for that but anyway

the second princess diaries movie is SO good I honestly liked it more than the first one

This is a movie not everyone has seen so ill give a brief summary of the first one and detailed of the second

In the first one, you, are a normal teenage girl living with her artist mom (…jean???) in some like warehouse turned house don’t ask 

Ur dad is dead (uhh, bye diluc ig RIP) he died when u were like idek 2? 3? WHATEVES

Okay so ur turning 16 soon, ur a complete loser at ur school and then one day ur…ig aunt because its acc grandma in the movie but if we’re casting diluc as the dad then Lisa will be the aunt LOOL, anyway ur aunt comes and she’s like omg let me see this girl

So u pull up to her house we ball until u find out its a LITERAL MANSION? AND THERE ARE BODYGUARDS?

Okay faster summary basically she tells u ur the next descendent of royalty because ur dad was actually supposed to be a KING but he gave it up so he could like idk live a normal life or wtv and Lisa is too old and doesn’t wanna give royalty away to some randos and the kingdom needed a new royal figure so UR THE NEW CHOICE

Basically movie is u becoming royal blah and at the end u go on to like…the kingdom of mondstadt I guess where you’ll live there as princess

OKAY PRINCESS DIARIES 2 CASTING

queen is Lisa duh

Uhm ur bsf can be amber cuz like she’s superior

And obv our prince of whatever is kaeya

So one day ur chilling while Lisa is doing some meetings when she decides to announce she is RETIRING and she will ask u to become queen

At first ur like bye no but then she tells u that its either u or some randoms who r horrible and r next in line after you

That night there’s a ball where she announces to the public that she’s outta here and at this ball u meet this flirtatious amazing hunk who dances incredibly and u step on his feet but we don’t talk abt that

Ur telling Lisa abt it the next day and the next day ur supposed to meet like the people ur supposed to go up against for become queen or whatever

then the same man walks in.

He is trying to take ur spot as queen/king whatever

he’s like OH FUCK, and his dad (idfk for this one like venti ig?? Im crying I cant) is like “you know each other?”

Mhm!

You shake his hand and then you stomp on his foot and knee him in the balls and Lisa is like YOOOOO WTF

u leave and she’s like WHAT WAS THAT FOR AND U TELL HER ITS THE SAME MAN FROM LAST NIGHT and she’s like ok deserved but u need to be nice

So u guys deadass hate each other and for some reason Lisa was like “wanna live here for a few weeks?” LIKE BRO so u see him everyday

Next meeting with like the council of mondstadt ig so jean, venti, uhm dain ig, albedo- u get it

They tell u that u need to become MARRIED to become queen

So the next day u, Lisa and ur bodyguard (bro idek anymore Mond has SUCH little characters so we’re gonna do capitano because he’s literally bodyguard material) go through like a list of men

Then ONE COMES UP AND UR LIKE WOWZAS uh his name is….

Ayato

What a HUNKKKKK

So u meet him at a beach with yours and his family and everyone’s like recording u guys and news reporters are going crazy

Hes sweet and all and he’s HOT but he’s not for u but for the SAKE of becoming queen so it doesn’t go to kaeya ur like he will so do

Uhm there’s like sm other scenes but idc tbh

One day ur like supposed to do some grand thing on a horse idk but KAEYA’S DAD SABOTAGES IT and throws like a little snake in front of ur horse and ur horse goes crazy and everyone’s laughing at you and u and ur horse run and u hide in the stables

Kaeya comes in and he’s like oh it wasn’t that bad and u get so mad at him because you KNOW his dad had smth to do with it and u storm off

Okay so like one day ur hosting a gathering at ur castle outside and everyone is like OMGG u guys r so cute lols and then kaeya brings a DATE and then you and ayato go up to them and you and kaeya start arguing about who has a better date and ayato and his date end up leaving cuz of ur constantt fighting

You both realized u were lowk stupid

You guys just stood there and here’s the convo

It was awkward- you had lost complete sight of Ayato and Kaeya’s date so now it was just you and Kaeya.

“Fantastic party,” He chuckled, trying to make it a bit more bearable  “Thank you,” You gave him a fake smile,  “You two make such a lovely couple!” You gasped, surprised as you gave him a real smile. “We do!” “A shame your not attracted to him.” “I know it- it- wait…oh- YOU! COME BACK HERE!”

OKAY SO u like end up chasing him into a really secluded area and there’s like performances going on so no one notices and just keep in mind there’s a fountain

“You can’t just say that and walk away! I will have you know that I am VERY attracted to Ayato! He understands me-“ “Understands you? Wow! Such a passion!” You just scoffed, holding out your fan. “You’re just jealous!” “Jealous of Ayato? Why would I be when he has to be married to you.” You glared at him, then hit him with your fan. “I loathe you!” He hits you with his newspaper and you gasp. “I loathe yoU!” “I loathed you first!” You scoffed, taking a step closer. You realized how close you’d gotten and he grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you in as you let out a muffled yelp against his lips

Okay anyways UR LEG LIKE does the little kick where it goes up meaning u were ATTRACTED and its a PRETTY heated kiss and you wrap your arms around his neck and his hand goes around your waist and everything

You suddenly realize and back away. 

“You’re only doing this so you can make me fall in love with you so you can take the crown!” You walk away, angrily, but he wraps an arm around your waist and gasp as he pulls you back in. “Well, maybe I am…but maybe I just like kissing you.”

You trip and you both fall into the fountain and now ur soaking wet and you just like leave him

Lisa sees u and she’s like do I wanna know and ur like no but she ends up lecturing u later that night

The next day its like mondstadt independent day and your out in the carriage and everyone is watching and kaeya and his dad r like watching and u see these kids getting picked on and u stop the parade to like see who these kids were and u find out its a whole group of orphans and u decide you’ll like give a bunch of money to the orphanage and decide you’ll donate one of the gigantic mansions you have around the castle to the kids

Kaeya low-key realizes right there he’s genuinely in love when he sees u with these kids

Okay so like a week later ur supposed to learn how to shoot an arrow on fire through a hoop for ur coronation but u suck at shooting an arrow and u literally almost light ayato on fire and Amber and ur maids have to duck

“You know, im gonna take a few steps back,” Amber chuckles, taking 15 steps away from you

Just before u were gonna shoot an arrow, Kaeya comes and Amber DRAGS the maids away to give u some alone time

“Take your stance,” He said, standing behind you.  “Okay,” You breathed out.  He chuckled at your stance and came closer, “Elbow down,” He pushed it down for you. “Use your mouth as an anchor, keep your finger close to your lips, and relax this hand.” He put his hand over yours, and your breath hitched. His other hand went onto your shoulder. “Breathe in, then shoot.”

You did so and ended up GETTING A BULLSEYE YEAHH and u start cheering and he was like holding onto you about to kiss you bUT YOU TURN AWAY BECAUSE UR SUPPOSED TO MARRY AYATOOO

Then later that night in ur room, Amber runs into her room announcing herself “AMBER COMING IN,”

You sit up, confused. “Uhh???? Hello what?”

She screams at u to look out your window and KAEYA IS THROWING PEBBLES AT IT OMG and u ask him wtf is he doing and he’s like I wanna go on a stroll with you and u debate with amber if u should go or not and she’s like YES so you take a shawl and climb down the vine of the wall and u end up falling RIGHT INTO HIS ARMS AND AMBER IS LAUGHING FROM THE WINDOW

You guys end up riding your horses kinda far from the castle all the way to a nearby lake and end up cuddling against a tree and you both like open up and share random facts and you guys slow-dance to nothing

Then you end up SLEEPING at the tree and you were cuddling him and it was not comfy tbh

You wake up and notice in the lake a news reporter is on the boat and you look at kaeya and scream at him and ur like “YOU PLANNED THIS!” And he’s like iDK WHAT UR TALKING ABT and there’s a whole fight and you end up leaving on your horse and back to the castle and Amber turns on the TV to show the news and its you and kaeya and your like OH FUCK AYATO and u just start crying to ur grandma

ayato tells you he’s still willing to marry you and ur like bROO UR SUCH A SWEETHEART MAN

Okay comes the day of the wedding ur scared shitless like ur shitting bricks

Kaeya doesn’t go to the wedding but his dad does and then kaeya’s maid FISCHL tells him his dad called the news reporter and he’s like BRO I HAVE TO GO TELL Y/N SO HE RUNS TO UR WEDDING

Later ayato’s bodyguard THOMA comes up to u JUST AS UR ABT TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE AND HE’S LIKE “if ur really in love, you’d know that kaeya did not call those reporters.” And ur like WOAH

Doors open ur halfway through the aisle when u stop and ur like bro I cannot do this and u RUN BACK AND EVERYONES LIKE WTF

Lisa runs after u and ur like I just need a minute and Lisa is like u are NOT marrying ayato ur so clearly in love with kaeya and I refuse to have you marry a Man U don’t love

U go back in and rush up the aisle and tell ayato that you’re so clearly not in love and he’s like low-key girl I did not wanna marry u LOL im in love with thoma

Anyway u announce to everyone that you will NOT BE GETTING MARRIED and ask the counsel to please reconsider their choice of having you be married and to think about their own daughters but then KAEYA’S DAD INTERRUPTS AND HE’S LIKE “The law clearly states a woman must marry to become queen and I have just another heir!”

KAEYA COMES AND HE’S LIKE, NO, U DON’T BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO BECOME KING AND DECARLES THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE QUEEN

Okay so council decides u become queen yeah yeah onto coronation this is like way too long

THE DAY OF UR CORONATION ur on the throne nervous and then kaeya comes in and kneels on one knee and he’s not proposing but he decries his love for u and hopes u accept and boom ur together ur now queen im done bye

kofi on masterlist!

#genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #kaeya genshin impact #kaeya x reader #genshin impact kaeya #genshin ayato #kamisato ayato #ayato x you #ayato x reader #disney #disney movies #genshin impact #thoma genshin impact

[anxresi]

Brace yourselves, folks… We’re about to enter the dark, dreary and sometimes disturbing world which is Thomas Astruc on Twitter. 😧

Those possessed of a weak disposition, prone to nausea or an complete intolerance to utter bullshit may want to turn back now. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. (but still leave me a ‘like’, if you’re feeling generous 🙏)

Anyway, what ‘delights’ has this stand-up guy, this pioneer of mediocre cartooning, this dude on the cusp of arguing with little kids on Twitter been sharing with us, the great unwashed, at this present time? Let’s run through a brief checklist of the ‘highlights’, shall we?

*Telling people the upcoming Miraculous movie is what the fans ‘want’ but the show is what we ‘need’ (whatever THAT means, typically modest reaction from the epitome of humbleness himself).

*Saying that anyone who DARES criticise the show should ‘keep it to themselves’ or they’ll be ‘blocked for spreading negativity about the artists’ (dude thinks he can police Twitter… good luck with that!)

*Informing fanfiction writers that their work is ‘pointless’ and the only people who know what they’re doing are him and his team (If you mean ‘How To Destroy A Franchise In Five Easy Seasons… I guess he’s right)

But his favorite topic (seriously, check out his replies… we’re talking more than 50% here) concerns a fictional teenage girl he constantly decries but can’t seem to get enough of moaning about. It is of course… oh let’s face it. You know the answer to that one already. ROLL THE TWEETS!!

Yep, you guessed it. Apart from the OP being uncommonly accurate in their opinion, now apparently ‘Chloe’ has become The Not-So-Great Bearded One’s new insult of choice for anyone who dislikes what’s been done to the show. Poor ‘Karen’ never stood a chance… 😢

What a mature, grown-up type chap he is! I have no idea why he’s no longer referred to as ‘Hawk Daddy’ in polite circles, and instead called ‘Man Baby’. Just look at him, REALLY giving it a bunch of teens on Twitter who DARE imply his show is nothing but da best! You go, Thomas! Go change your dirty diaper, that is. 🤢

So, abandoning all her subtleties and nuance , reducing her to a shrieking monster and choosing to actively give characters who have arguably done FAR WORSE throughout the series much better endings means they ‘wrote it well’? Gosh, maybe getting an F in English stands for ‘Fabulous’ after all!

Guess in Thomas’s somewhat warped worldview, everyone who doesn’t like 💯 of his show from top to bottom should be placed on a plane with their main abuser to be forcibly deported and probably tortured for the rest of their sorry lives. That’ll teach them!

And who cares about stupid stuff like ‘build-up’ or ‘character-development’ if they genuinely were preparing Chloe for… what was that thing he described it as again… a ‘damnation’ arc? Let’s just flip a switch at the end of S3 to turn her into a pathetic caricature of her worst excesses without explanation, then introduce a ‘perfect’ sister out of nowhere to throw all those undesirable traits into sharp relief! And that’s not even getting into that detestable retconning flashback episode… What an absolutely fantastic idea to make everyone hate her as much as Thomas does!

No-one will notice the sudden incongruity here… after all, the average age of their audience is 5-8 so if they just throw excrement like crazed baboons about Chloe at the young audience time and time again caveman-style CHLOE: BAD. EVERYONE ELSE: GOOD the kids will chow it up like cheap chocolate ice cream! The older ones that do kick up a fuss? Who gives a ****. They don’t buy the merchandise, and where would all those hard-working producers if it wasn’t for all that cheap plastic crap?

With considerably less cars, swimming pools and exotic holidays to hard-to-pronounce destinations, that’s where! Let’s keep that bandwagon of shit a-rollin’… 🤑

Ah, now I believe this is that classic tactic otherwise known as ‘gaslighting’. When you say something as a fact over and over again, when the opposite is clearly true. Those of lesser willpower may start to accept it as reality while others (mostly those with functioning eyes, ears and brains)… won’t.

You know who was also good at that gaslighting thing, don’t you? A few clues… A Former (thank God) President? Very orange? Initials DT? Yep, that guy.

…And coincidentally, someone Thomas has been known to compare Chloe (14 year old girl, let’s not forget) to regularly. I mean, with THAT kind of accolade hanging over her head from the guy who created her, how could she ever fail?

See? What a great influence he is on the young too! Now he’s got his own handpicked gang of sycophants out of the street labelling anyone with the slightest complaint from a)pointing out the animation was slightly better last season or b)saying they miss the old transformation sequences as a ‘Chloe’. I think we’ve found his new favorite insult, and it’s the worst word he can possibly think of. Figures.

I bet he’s putting together a petition as we speak, for an official entry into the dictionary. Fortunately, there’s already one for ‘Thomas’, as in ‘Doubting Thomas’… someone who talks so much nonsense you should disbelieve anything they say. Or Thomas The Tank Engine, because whenever you mention a certain Blonde’s name in his presence, he tends to blow steam, look very heated and… you get the picture. 😆

On top of everything else, now he’s issuing threats. I have to hand it to him though… that’s a pretty good one. NO PLEASE TAKE MY MONEY MY LIFE I’LL EVEN GIVE YOU A FOOT RUB A BACK RUB AND LEARN TO LOVE ZOE ANYTHING BUT THAT NNNNNNOOOOOO….

Seriously guys, we need an immediate intervention. THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN. I’m about to book an emergency flight to France, to barricade him in his office until he promises to never again even entertain the notion of… this. Who’s with me?

(And incidentally while I’m there, does anyone want me to pick them a souvenir? A beret? Frog legs soup? One of those miniature replicas of the Eiffel Tower? Let me know by tomorrow at the latest, and I’ll see what I can do) 😊🇫🇷

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ladybug #chloe bourgeois #ml salt #disney #ml #zag #ml leaks #thomas astruc #aah that felt good

[soulmate-game]

Another day, another chappy

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The Heroes’ Game

Chapter 3

“So, did you kids figure it out?” Nightwing asked when the two soon-to-be lovebirds opened their eyes. As if reading his mind, Robin turned to glare darkly at the older hero. Ignoring the silent warning, Nightwing just continued to talk. “Because it’s been forty-ish minutes since you guys started meditating. If we wanna make it to the museum on time, we should leave soon.”

“Forty-ish?” Robin repeated incredulously, standing up. “Honestly. You can’t even keep proper track of time?”

“It’s fine, we figured everything out Monsieur Nightwing,” Marinette interrupted before an argument could spark up. “Our vision is back to normal for now. Oh, but,” she pulled her phone out of her purse, handing it to Robin. “Do you have a secure number you can give me? I can’t exactly wander around Gotham at night every time I want to meet up with you.”

Robin winced at the visual. “Yes, please don’t do that. I don’t need my job made even harder than it already is,” he grumbled before taking her phone from her casually, and creating a new contact for himself. Unbeknownst to him, she changed his contact name in her phone from ‘Robin’ to a simple green heart emoji the second he gave her the device back.

If he asks, I’ll just say it’s because a green heart is way more subtle than his superhero name, she decided silently.

“Alright, let’s get the smaller lovebird home,” Nightwing teases, successfully making Marinette’s entire face flush bright red.

“H-h-hey! W-w-we just met and I’m sure Robin doesn’t like me like that yet. I mean, sure our soul bond is romantic and everything, but the actual emotions take time to form and I’m pretty sure Robin doesn’t want to go too fast so really calling us lovebirds is just not accurate yet and really, really embarrassing so if you could not do that, I would really really appreciate it monsieur Nightwing, sir!” Luckily, Marinette’s flailing Arms of Denial provided the perfect opening for Robin to slide his arm around her waist and toss her over his back halfway through her ramble. Apparently being slung over the shoulder of her soulmate wasn’t enough to get her to stop though, since she didn’t even miss a beat and continued until she was done.

Nightwing only laughed, making Marinette’s blush deepen several shades.

“I’m never going to get silence again,” Robin groaned as they traveled over the rooftop.

“Hey, at least she isn’t scared of heights,” Nightwing offered, seeing as Marinette had barely reacted at all even during the steeper jumps and falls they had made. Robin briefly paused at that, turning his head to look back at the French girl as well as he could, given her angle in his fireman carry.

“That’s a surprisingly astute observation, Nightwing,” Robin begrudgingly complimented. “How are you so calm about this? Does Ladybug randomly take you freerunning, too?”

It took a solid five seconds of uncontrollable stutter before coherent language seemed to come back to the petite girl. “W-w-What?” Well, mostly. “N-n-no way! I mean, Ladybug would never compromise a c-civilian like that! I just have, a-a passion! Yep. A passion for parkour. Nobody expects it from me, really, but—“

“Okay, calm down,” Robin interrupted, rolling his eyes behind his domino mask as he and Nightwing resumed running. “You don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to. It isn’t like it’s a bad thing. In fact considering who I am, you being afraid of heights at all would be really inconvenient for both of us.”

“Ha, ha, yeah,” Marinette agreed, her nervous laughter doing nothing to soothe the suspicion both vigilantes had now. Sure, she was Robin’s soulmate, but that didn’t suddenly make her trustworthy. In fact, some people (Jason and Tim) would argue that it made her extremely suspicious, because there was no way someone innocent could be soulmates with Demon Spawn. Robin himself, being the only one to see what exactly inhabited Marinette’s half of their mindspace, was of an entirely different mindset. Everything he saw there indicated she was completely innocent, and nobody had control over the first things to appear in their mindspace if they had one. The things that appeared always reflected the truest aspects of that individual.

No, Damian Wayne had a much different suspicion. A suspicion that came from the fact that Marinette knew far more intimate details about the villain situation in Paris than she should, from the fact that she had displayed such confidence fighting men twice her size, from the fact that their only shared object in their mindspace besides the TV was a sparring mat, of all things. From the fact that her body language had relaxed for a moment when she found out her soulmate was a vigilante.

Damian Wayne had a suspicion that his soulmate was a hero.

He only had to look through all of Paris’s heroes to find out which one.

All too soon, they arrived across the street from the Gotham Museum of History. Suddenly glad that she wore pants instead of the skirt she had been contemplating when they relaxed in the hotel, Marinette slid off of Robin’s shoulder and dusted herself off.

It had been nice, feeling the wind in her hair and the familiar adrenaline of leaping across buildings, of seeing the world flash by in a mesh of indistinguishable color. Even if she wasn’t the one doing the moving, it was still nice. She knew she wouldn’t be able to swing around as Ladybug while she was here, and she knew the month of reprieve of freerunning was going to take a mental toll on her.

Maybe I can convince Robin to take me with him sometime. Just a short run, that’s all. No crime fighting involved.

Yeah, fat chance in Gotham City, but a girl could hope.

It wasn’t long before a group of fourteen kids and one adult crossed the street, stopping right in front of where Marinette stood with her arms crossed. Having Robin and Nightwing at her side helped her confidence, but the anger and betrayal she felt didn’t hurt it either.

“Marinette!” Mlle. Bustier exclaimed, eyes wide. She continued rapidly speaking in French, “But— weren’t you with the class—“ she turned, only for a certain pink haired teen to skate forward with her hands on her hips.

“Uh, no Mlle. Bustier. Adrien and I tried to tell you that Marinette never made it on the bus!”

“But, Alya told me you three were lying because you didn’t want to go to a boring museum!” The teacher said in dismay. Then a frown overcame her face. “Well, regardless. We have departure time set for a reason, Marinette. I expect you, as the class president, to set a good example and arrive on time. Being late is very unbecoming of you, especially considering you weren’t responsible enough to even meet up for the tour. As the person who recommended the museum in the first place, Marinette, I expected more integrity out of you.”

“Excusez-moi?” Robin spoke up, hands clenched into fists at his side. The teacher jumped, clearly not having anticipating the Gotham hero to understand everything she said. The young Robin continued in perfectly fluent French; “It is not Marinette’s responsibility to take care of your class or to be flawless. It is your own failing as a teacher, neglecting your responsibility to ensure that all of the children under your care are safe and accounted for. While in Gotham, you are supposed to act as their caretaker and their parents are relying on you to do at least a halfway decent job. Instead, you allow your own class President, the only reason any of you are even here and able to visit anywhere, to get left behind and almost kidnapped in the most crime ridden city in the country!” The vigilante never raised his voice, the iciness of his tone easily carrying and showing how deadly serious every last word was. Caline Bustier could only freeze under Robin’s wrathful glare.

Nightwing’s hand on Robin’s shoulder stopped the tirade, though the older hero’s gaze never left the teacher either. “We will be keeping an ear out, madam,” he said in deceptively cheerful French. Bustier twitched again in surprise. There was still a threat under that cheerful tone. “Any kid left behind in this city, especially if they don’t know the city, is in a lot of danger. I suggest you do your job unless you want the police having a talk with you too, instead of us friendly vigilantes,” he warned. “Now then, try to have a good rest of your night Marinette. Stay safe. Hopefully you won’t have to see us anytime soon, yeah?” He switched back to English, earning a wry smile and small nod from Marinette.

Neither Gotham hero missed the way Marinette shrunk in on herself as soon as she realized they were leaving. Two sets of masked eyes narrowed, but otherwise they gave no sign of noticing. A brief wave from the friendlier of the two heroes later, and they were gone.

Marinette couldn’t help but feel like a sheep left in a pack of wolves.

Thankfully, her class at least had the decency to wait until they were all sat down and had finished ordering before pouncing.

“Honestly, Marinette?” Alya snapped, eyebrow raised and scowl on her lips. “I can’t believe you would waste the time of Gotham’s heroes just for attention. Look at how sad Mlle. Bustier is now!” She waved a hand to the teacher, who was still in obvious shock. “I can’t even imagine what you did to make them think you were about to get kidnapped. Probably some poor innocent guy in prison now because of your whining, and what if wasting time with you made Nightwing and Robin miss out on saving someone in actual trouble, huh, girl?”

Lila broke into tears. “I-I’m just so g-glad you’re safe, Marinette! When you told m-me you felt s-sick and wanted us to g-go without you, I h-hoped you wouldn’t c-c-cause any trouble,” a giant fake sob ripped itself from Lila’s lying throat. “But this is what I g-g-get for having faith in y-you!” Everyone quickly rushed to assure Lila that she had to reason to feel bad about Marinette’s behavior, it wasn’t her fault Marinette was an attention hog.

It was all the pigtailed girl could do, to sink down in her seat and thank every power in the universe that she hadn’t suggested moving onto Audio Only Mode with Robin yet. She had an odd suspicion that anger management wasn’t exactly one of his strengths.

Just take deep breaths, she thought, doing the best she could to keep herself calm while she ate. Alix leaned into her arm, offering comforting weight and silent support. Marinette just smiled at her gratefully. Speaking up would do nothing right now, not while everyone was so solidly against her and Adrien was stuck as Lila’s human teddy bear. He sent her an apologetic glance, but Marinette could only shrug. As much as she still liked having him around as Chat, she had long since gotten used to not getting help in class from Adrien.

Marinette sunk into her bed once they got back to the hotel, the silence of the room weighing on her. She was the odd student out, so she didn’t have a roommate.

“Maybe tomorrow will be better, Marinette,” Tikki tried to cheer her up, the tiny Kwami flying over and nestling next to Marinette’s face in a pseudo hug. The teen just hummed in halfhearted agreement, closing her eyes. It took a while, but she was eventually able to sink off into slumber.

—*—*—*—*—*

“You seem tired,” Robin remarked blandly, raising an eyebrow at Marinette’s dejected form just slumped half-on half-off of her loft bed. Her head was part of the half actually on the bed, and thus her expression was hidden from Robin as she let out a loud groan of despair. “Are you dying?”

“Noooo,” Marinette paused. “Maybe.”

“And why are you maybe dying?” Robin walked over to his weapons rack, where a brand new section of green wall was revealed over it boasting domino masks. Considering he had went to sleep, he obviously hadn’t been in uniform. Which, therefore, meant he wasn’t in uniform in the dreamspace. Quickly pulling on one of the masks, he turned back to the loft bed.

Marinette still hadn’t lifted her head.

“... is your identity safe now?”

“Yes, I have my mask on.”

Marinette wasted no time sitting up after that, exposing Robin to the absolutely dejected look on her face. Immediately his eyebrows shot up, the way her hair fell loose around her head instead of being held in pigtails only emphasizing the sorry state she was in.

It had really been a gamble, talking to himself when he reached his room to ask Marinette if she would do her best not to look at him when he first entered the mindspace. A gamble that apparently paid off. Apparently if one of them was asleep or meditating, they could still see through the other person’s eyes if they watched TV in the mindspace.

But now he couldn’t really care about his identity as much as usual, considering his stalling meant she had been left alone to wallow in whatever misery left her in this state.

“What happened?” That came out harsher than he intended it to, but Marinette Luckily didn’t seem to care. She just heaved a heavy sigh and slipped off her bed. She didn’t even use the ladder, just letting herself slide off and land surprisingly nimbly on her feet. Robin narrowed his eyes.

Parkour, he thought with a mental scoff. Sure. Wait, that doesn’t matter right now.

“It’s just my class,” Marinette confided, fiddling with the long sleeve of her pajama top. “It’s really stupid, and I know I should be strong enough to ignore the things they say, but it still hurts. A lot.”

A very unfamiliar feeling caused Robin to bristle and stand up straighter. “Things? What things do they say?” He watched as Marinette fidgeted nervously, and then went to his couch. She looked between it and him for a second, silently asking permission to sit on it considering it was a Green Item and therefore his by default. He simply nodded, moving over to sit next to her.

“It’s dumb, and you really don’t have to worry about it,” she started, but she also couldn’t fight the urge to confide in him. Maybe it was the mindspace, the aura of it heavily persuading the two inhabitants to speak nothing but the truth while there. Maybe it was the bond itself, trying to convince her that she could trust him. Whatever it was, she had never wanted to tell someone about her issues this badly before.

“I didn’t ask for reasons to not worry, I asked for what they said,” Robin retorted firmly. Marinette actually chuckled at that, the bluntness reassuring her.

I guess Chloe was right, huh?

So she explained. She stared down at the green floor under her feet or the couch cushions or the TV or the vast white expanse of their mindspace, but never Robin. She never looked at him as she recounted everything that happened after Lila Rossi joined the class, how she took her friends away and lied every chance she got to make Marinette look bad. How she had even managed to spin a lie that got the whole class believing that Marinette got left behind and almost kidnapped on purpose, for attention, despite Marinette having social anxiety and not liking having large amounts of attention on her to begin with.

She explained every harsh detail of Alya, her previous best friend, betraying her and turning into her second worst bully because of Lila. How only Alix remained by her side and her class as a whole ridiculed, isolated, and bullied her. If they didn’t bully her, they ignored that anything was happening. She explained how Adrien, also her friend, was given the ultimatum that if he didn’t keep Lila happy he would be withdrawn from school and effectively isolated at home again. She explained that he tried to help, but was often stopped from doing more than offering a warm glance by Lila’s grip around one of his arms (almost always his left arm nowadays, since even Lila knew better than to touch or obstruct someone’s soul mark without permission).

“And it’s really just dumb school drama,” Marinette was wrapping up, the sleeve of her nightshirt sporting several holes in it from how she had been worrying at it throughout her whole story. Normally she wouldn’t dare hurt her clothes in such a way, but here it didn’t matter. In the mindspace, nothing but their own consciousness actually existed. She could destroy her clothes all she wanted here, and they would be perfectly fine when she woke up. “I just need to suck it up and not let Lila’s words affec—“

Marinette almost bit her tongue when she was flicked on the forehead, her eyes crossing as she tried to spot the offending hand. Slowly coming out of her shock, she followed the hand to the wrist, then arm, then the face of a very frustrated Robin. His eyebrows were pulled down low over his masked eyes, the hand that hadn't just flicked her was clenched in a fist and shaking. Marinette was pretty sure that he would have been making his palm bleed if they had been in the physical world right then.

“No,” Robin’s voice was strained, as if he was doing his best not to raise his voice. It still trembled with anger. “The way they are treating you is incredibly uncalled for, unjustified and dishonorable. You should not be forced to manage your emotions even on the level that Hawkmoth forces all of Paris to do every day, let alone force yourself to cope with what is clearly serious harassment. They are taking advantage of you, Marinette. They are using you because they know you will provide things they favor— clothes, baked goods, and whatever else you might give them. They are not entitled to that, though. They are not entitled to your kindness or forgiveness, and they are not entitled to your patience. If they do not want to or are too dumb to acknowledge the truth of what is happening, that is their fault and the way they are treating you because of it is unacceptable. And your teacher! Nightwing and I were not bluffing when we threatened to get her investigated. I tried to research you after patrol today, but Red Robin pointed out that it may be seen as insensitive or intrusive of me. Perhaps you should allow me to do so anyway, so that we can take proper action if there is proof of your school being negligent.”

“Robin, that really isn’t necessary,” it said a lot that Marinette no longer had the energy to wave her hands in denial. She just spoke in a defeated tone.

Robin flicked her again.

“I am your soulmate, not your therapist. But it is wholly unacceptable for the person who is supposed to be by my side for the rest of my life to be mistreated or emotionally abused in such a way. The fact that you have not even been akumatized by that villain in Paris yet despite going through all of this is clear testimony that you have a strong mind and will, but everyone has their limits. When you feel yourself approaching said limits, you can meditate and turn on Audio Only Mode, so that I know you need to vent.”

“But I can’t let my emotions get out of control when I am back in Paris,” Marinette started to say, but was cut off by Robin already shaking his head.

“That does not count here. Very few magics can penetrate a soulbond mindspace, and I severely doubt an Akuma is one of them. You can go to sleep or meditate, and release all of your frustrations here where it is safe. Letting them build up will only cause more damage in the long run.”

The Asian girl shifted, looking first at the green floor beneath her and then up to Robin’s face. Her posture said that she was relaxed, at least a lot more than she had been during her entire confession, but her eyes held worry. He could see it swimming in those sapphire depths.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” She asked weakly in French. The slip back to her most commonly used language made Robin frown. He really was far from the best person to comfort anyone, even his own soulmate. He was flying blind here, and could only do what he saw as logical. Surely his soulmate, of all people, would accept that.

“I do not make it a habit of expressing many of my emotions very often,” he admitted slowly. “But I understand that you do not come from my circumstances. I will not be bothered.”

Insecurity wormed its way into her blue eyes l, pushing the normal worry away. “Even if we’re soulmates…” she started hesitantly, squirming in her seat. “You shouldn’t have to put up with me. I mean, I overreact a l—“

“No.”

Marinette was startled, eyes wide and uncomprehending. “Excusez moi?”

“No,” Robin repeated. “You are not overreacting. I will not allow you or anyone else to think that about yourself. If nothing else, everyone is entitled to their emotions,” he stubbornly pushed away unpleasant memories. This wasn’t about him. He could not have his soulmate in an unstable state of mind. It was not acceptable, even if he did not know or fully trust her yet. “You are my soulmate,” he said slowly, leaning forward and staring into her eyes to try and hammer in the words he spoke. “As such, I will not allow anyone to treat you as anything less than royalty. Not even yourself.”

Marinette was certain she would have passed out from forgetting to breathe, had they not been in a mental world separate from physical reality.

Oh, this is so much worse than fawning over Adrien.

—*—*—*—*—*

#maribat #mlb x dc #ml x dc #dc x mlb #dc x miraculous #platonic jasonette #platonic dickinette #platonic timari #damimari #romantic daminette #daminette #damian x marinette #marinette x damian #maribat fanfiction #maribat fic

[queen-dahlia]

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟯 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation

If one were to ask which is more difficult: dominating people through violence or making compromises through communication,

It would definitely be the latter—trying to resolve everything through communication would be more difficult.

The little rabbit knows this, but she has not given up on communication.

And I've made up my mind that I'm not going to get involved in anything but violence,

On the contrary, she is willing to endure violence.

It may be a perfect score for the woman with the most beautiful heart in Rhodolite.

But I feel sick looking at her.

(… I made it happen, but I thought you would break sooner.)

Succumbing to people's violence and giving up on communication because it is impossible, the little rabbit herself becomes tainted with malice.

The pure white heart is now dyed black, and the "Final Judgment" is over.

But it was not easy to do so. The little rabbit is brazen.

(But…)

I stood in front of the little rabbit's room and gently opened the door.

As expected, there was a little rabbit lying on the bed and crying.

No matter how beautiful your heart is and how noble your beliefs are...

A heart stabbed with malice can't be okay.

(… A villain never misses a vulnerable prey, right?)

I hide my presence and sneak up on Little Bunny to look into her face.

Gilbert: "Wow, you're crying. Poor thing."

Emma: "!?"

The little rabbit, seemingly unaware of my presence, froze like ice.

Gilbert: "You must have let your guard down. But too bad, I wouldn't leave such a fun situation unattended."

The little rabbit raised her upper body and covered her face with her hands.

Perhaps she didn't want to be seen so much, but she was red all the way to the tips of her ears.

(… So cute.)

Gilbert: "I was waiting in front of your room, making sure my presence went unnoticed."

Gilbert: "Oh, and I am here to remind you about the cookies. You promised me 1,000 cookies, right?"

Emma: "… Please wait five minutes."

Gilbert: "As much as you want. In the meantime, I'll look around your room."

Emma: "No, please don't!"

Gilbert: "Didn't I let you look around my room before?"

Gilbert: "I wonder if you have something to be so flustered about."

Gilbert: "But don't worry. Even if you have embarrassing proclivities, I will still accept you…"

Gilbert: "I'll keep quiet about it to the people around us. …Maybe."

Emma: "I have no such proclivities!"

Gilbert: "Then there's no problem if I look around, right?"

The purpose of visiting the little rabbit's room was not just to make fun of her crying face.

(… Yeah, I knew it.)

Feeling a sense of discomfort, I open the book lightly on the desk.

A dangerous needle was attached to the bookmark, and I retrieved it without being noticed.

(The violence is getting worse. …I should probably nail them down soon.)

(Anyway, this guy... yep, I'll kill him.)

All the malice directed towards the little rabbit is managed behind the scenes.

What kind of action is likely to occur, and what real harm is done to the little rabbit?

They don't even know they're dancing in the palm of a trampling beast.

Gilbert: "Have you read this?"

Withdrawing my evil schemes, I pointed to the black book so as not to seem unnatural.

It was a book I had given to the little rabbit on a whim earlier.

Emma: "Yes… I read halfway through."

Emma: "I thought about it again, but the main character of that book is amazing."

Emma: "Confronting the insidious crimes in the court many times…"

Emma: "No matter what obstacles stand in her way, she keeps looking forward and never cries or looks down."

Emma: "She had a dazzlingly pure and beautiful heart, and even the people around her were inspired by her…"

Emma: "… I don't think I can do it."

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

(I see... so that's what the little rabbit thought.)

(Certainly, I may have been too virtuous and lacked a sense of humanity.)

Gilbert: "The girl in the book might have cried, too, just not written down, you know?"   //   "The girl in the book might have been crying just because it wasn't written, right?"

Gilbert: "Even a girl with a beautiful heart has troubles and pains. It's natural because she’s human."

Gilbert: "… It's just that the author missed it."

Gilbert: "I've been imagining a girl who smiles happily every day, but I just haven't gotten to the deepest parts of her life." **

Emma: "I... see."

Gilbert: "That's right."

(After all, you must see the real thing in person.)

(This haul alone was worth the trip to Rhodolite.)

I turn my back to the book and once again wrap my hands around the crying face of the little rabbit.

She looked awful.

But somehow, I didn't think it was ugly.

Gilbert: "Honestly, I thought you were a young woman who never cried."

Emma: "… I do cry too."

Gilbert: "Yeah, it seems so. But you care about others and hide it."

Gilbert: "You keep killing your heart by saying "I'm fine"…"

Gilbert: "In the end, you will become a beast like me."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

(Saying "I'm fine" isn't okay.)

(… Just like I used to say, "It's okay" every time I killed someone.)   //   (Same as me, who used to say, "I'm fine" every time I killed someone.)

If you fake the pain of the wound, you will soon feel nothing, and even "okay" will become unnecessary.

If you don't feel pain, you won't cry.

Gilbert: "Crying means you are still human."

Gilbert: "You should take such good care of yourself."

Gilbert: "If you keep lying that you're fine, then I'll see... okay?" ***

(You shouldn't become a beast.)

(—No, wait... It's contradictory.)

(Why am I comforting you?)

(I'm the one who cornered the little rabbit, and I'm looking forward to seeing if she turns into a beast.)

(I would have rather thought about catching up or something…)

Something is preventing the evil schemes of the trampling beast.

I can't figure out what that "something" is, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

(It's like I'm resisting myself. …It's weird.)

Gilbert: "Hey, do you want me to comfort you?"

Emma: "N-No…"

Gilbert: "Where do you want to be bitten?"

Emma: "What kind of comfort is that!?"

I tease the little rabbit in order to get rid of the discomfort that has built up.

The tears seemed to stop as we exchanged light banter.

I unconsciously breathe a sigh of relief when the little rabbit bites me as usual.

Gilbert: ". . . . . ." 

Emma: "Prince Gilbert?"

(… I should have made you cry more.)

(Ah, but it's unpleasant to see you cry for other people's malice instead of mine.)   //   (Ah, but it's unpleasant to see you crying from the malice of others and not of me.)

(I'm sure that's what this is.)

I pinch the soft cheeks of the little rabbit.

Although the tears had stopped, they were still wet.

Gilbert: "It's boring. You've already stopped crying."

Gilbert: "I thought it was funny to see you cry."

Emma: "Forget about it!"

Gilbert: "Ahaha, who are you talking to?"

Gilbert: "Come on, let's go, Little Bunny."

(… Let's distract ourselves by eating.)

I open the door and prompt the little rabbit to make cookies.

In doing so, I thought I heard a small, inaudible murmur.

Gilbert: "…? Did you say something?"

Emma: "No, nothing."

Emma: "Just… thank you."

Gilbert: "My kindness has bad intentions, okay?"

Emma: "Still, I feel a little better. I feel like I can do my best again tomorrow."

Gilbert: "… You do that a lot."

Emma: "I cried, but I don't want to give up."

Emma: "And besides, it's a good thing that Prince Gilbert came to Rhodolite…"

Emma: "As I thought, I want you to fall in love with me."   //   "After all, I want you to like me."

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

For a moment, I forget to fix my expression.

(What... is one of the reasons you endure that malice so silly?)   //   (Why... is one of the reasons why you endure such malice so desperately such a silly thing?)

(To a beast that has lost its love, it's all nonsense.)

Gilbert: "Is that what you were thinking?"

Emma: "… I was thinking. I wanted you to like me so much that you wouldn't want to trample Rhodolite."

(I see... the little rabbit was secretly harboring such a purpose…)

(… Maybe I'm getting so uncomfortable and inexplicable right now.)

(I just don't want that to happen.)   //   (But that's a problem.)

(… That's the only thing I can't accept.)   //   (… I just can't take that.)

Gilbert: "It's up to you, Little Bunny. Good luck?"

(If I'm really starting to like you...)

A new malice is rapidly growing.

It was an unexpected move that had never been planned before.

(I have to control you so that I can "like" you… right?)

#サイバード #イケメン王子 #ギルベルト=フォン=オブシディアン #ikemen prince #ikemen prince gilbert von obsidian #ikemen prince gilbert #ikeprince #ikeprince gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince jp #ikepri jp #ikeprince translation #ikepri gilbert route spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #ikeprince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #dahlia's bad translation

[kaliido-s]

for the ship thing you posted: fucking kongzilla or gojidagon

(kongzilla) " HEY YOU STUPID FUCKING MONKEY I HATE YOU BUT I LOVE YOU I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL FUCKING DAY " that happened after gvk you cant tell me otherwise... also i just love their enemies to lovers thing they have going on,,, and something about kong saving goji from mecha-g just made me thing " yep theyre gay. " (gojidagon) cmon who doesnt ship this? two gay lizard men... so silly... kaiju yaoi haters dni /j . goji and dagon just feel perfect together i dont know how to explain it...

I simply can’t decide between these two, I love them both

Godzilla is definitely way more adamant that he does not like Kong, even though he does. In the perfect little scenario, these two are already husbands who hang out and love each other, and have a very relaxed relationship. They also get to comfort each other on their own things that they’re working out, especially Kong who’s a little starstruck that he’s finally feeling affection from someone not a million times smaller than him. I will also accept more of a slow burn relationship, and will take any shipping fuel Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire gives me, because I think it has the potential for huge accidental-gay-reading.

As for GojixDagon…c’mon, I’ve got the comic and everything. They’re very committed, they love each other a lot, just some good old gay lizard yaoi. When they first met, Dagon was taller and stronger than him, while now it’s Godzilla who’s larger, and they get to have lots of cute banter about it. Dagon is good for keeping the reins on Godzilla when he gets too angry and egotistical, he’s there to be like “whatever big boy lets go back home”. So long as Godzilla’s backstory is never explored in canon, GojiDagon can be as accurate as I say it is.

#godzilla #kong #kongzilla #gojidagon #monsterverse #shipping #asks #kal thoughts #mv headcanons

[saltpepperbeard]

AAAAH so I’ve been inactive/lurking for years but I need to come out from the shadows for a second to THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR OFMD METAS. Especially your takes on Stede in 6/7!! I know a lot of people have said it, (bc it’s true and right) but you describe and explain things SO WELL IT BREAKES MY HEART. AGH. THANK YOU. I feel like this last episode especially was just the culmination of Stede putting all his core insecurities into a pressure cooker and leaving them there while he focuses on everything else. We all love to point out that this man just does NOT talk about any of his core issues while they are VERY MUCH still issuing! He still believes everything bad that has happened is all his fault!! He’s still thinking about that blood spattered little boy at his core!! (side note: a famous, deadly pirate getting killed via Stede throwing a violin at his head was NUTS. that concept is NUTS. I love this show.) Honestly I think at this point it’s just finally Stede’s turn to have a breakdown, and that’s where at least some of his behavior at the end of ep 7 is coming from. Most of our major characters this season have had one where they break hard, find support, and come out on the other side of it at least a little better. He has NOT. He hasn’t had a Stede centered heart to heart with anyone yet!! He’s grown so much in so many other ways, but like you’ve said!!! He just will not OPEN UPP. Because it’s scary!! What if you finally say the thing you know is fundamentally wrong with you, and the people you love finally see you for what you are?? Why would you do that when you can just try to fix it by shoving it down and making yourself into something else instead? And then what do you do when that all goes to hell anyways?? You act a fool and get your ass beat by a pirate queen is what 😭😭. It feels like we’ve all been side eying Stede not talking about his issues and the show just went, “Yep! For sure! Now look at what it’s done for him.” That compared to everyone else working through things and starting to move on?? Owie. Absolutely delicious- but also I think I’m different now. Like, as a person. And I trust this show to work it out!! I think Stede will get there eventually!! But like. Fuckin OWIE.

(This is an absolute WALL of text good god. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and being yourself <33 I’m going to cry into the floor and try to function like a normal person)

...

Well goodness, do I feel honored to be graced by your presence and YOUR lovely thoughts too! Because your so-called "wall of text" is SO beautiful and so thoughtful and so very ACCURATE AS WELL. AND IT SUBSEQUENTLY PUNCHED ME IN THE KIDNEY </3 SJDKLS.

Because Lord, you're right, how do we expect this man to function when he hasn't had his bathtub moment yet? And to think--he ALMOST could have. Ed was opening the door and giving him a place to talk and share vulnerabilities. Ed came in and started talking about his DAD, which as we know is a MAJOR piece of vulnerability for him. He really came in and set the stage for them to go in that direction...

Onllllyyy for adrenaline and desperation and perhaps a bit of fear to still prevail.

Like, it kills me. HE kills me. People give him the opportunity. People try and extend an olive branch. And yet still, he hides behind numerous walls. He helps other people before he helps himself. His bathtub was used for the benefit of others in episode 6 as opposed to his own. And I think that's a perfect representation of his character as a whole, really.

And man I knew, I KNEWWWW he was going to have so much to work on when the season opened up with that dream sequence. I think that dream sequence spoke on SO MUCH of what's going on in his head. It really cracked his psyche right on open. The beard, the ruthlessness, the deeper voice, the posturing, the way he doesn't "gain access" to Ed until after he's made a kill...

It was all just SCREAMING self-image issues and toxic masculinity issues and trauma to me. Not to mention how DRAMATIC of a contrast it was to Ed's. Ed loves his darling, sweet, fantastic goldfish for who he is. And it kills me that Stede can't see that yet.

But yes, I do believe we'll get there. I believe that's WHY all of this is being shown/set up. The show is very clearly telling us that Ed and Stede have issues to work through, and that their relationship is going to take mutual effort to become mature and grounded.

...But man, is the climb up to that A BIG OWCHIE INDEED LMAO.

#Answered #oh-dear-gracious #Stede Bonnet #OFMD #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 Spoilers #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #just going to throw this into my- #Revenge Rambles #tag because META LOL #META EVERYWHERE #I also think I'm particularly passionate and also DEFENSIVE of him because this is striking personal chords l m a o #Like I've experienced similar instances of having to force myself to do things uncharacteristic of me simply to try and win respect/approva #And have ALSO prioritized others' wellbeing over my own #NOT TO GET TOO DEEP ON MAIN HERE HSDKLS BUT LIKE #STEDE JUST....... #STEDE JUST RESONATES WITH ME IN QUITE A FEW WAYS #SO #YOU KNOW HSKDJLSHDLKS #but again thank you so much for coming over and talking because YES #IT'S ALL JUST SO????????? #LIKE IT HURTS #A LOT LMAO #BUT MAN #DOES IT GET OUR TRAINS OF THOUGHT GOING HUH #CHOO CHOO

[sorry-apsalar]

You'll Like It

Summary: Fry has a special gift for Bender.

~

Hiding from Santa meant the Christmas party had to be quiet which was lame and contributed to the dismal feeling Fry now associated with the holiday. He wasn’t going to let it drag him down too hard though. With his plans for tonight and after how much time effort and energy he’d put into getting everyone at Planet Express good gifts this year, he was determined to make sure he had as good a time as possible.

Halfway through the night, just after midnight hit, making it officially Christmas day, he went around and handed everyone their gifts one by one. They’d even been wrapped nicely… sort of anyway. He’d done his best to to make them look as pretty as possible. An effect that was ruined by the fact that the recipient had to rip it open to get to the gift so what was the point again? Why put in so much effort if it was meant to be destroyed? Whatever though, this year was special so he’d put in a little more effort.

With Bender’s gift being the reason for that specialness, Fry saved him for last. He’d sat on the couch, watching as Fry went around to everyone, tapping his fingers on the arm rest with barely disguised eagerness and maybe a bit of impatience too.

“I notice the bag is empty,” Bender said as Fry stepped up to him. Unsurprisingly he’d kept an eye on the bag of gifts Fry had brought. He’d been eyeing it ever since Fry had finished putting everything inside, necessitating Fry keep a close eye on him to make sure he didn’t try to open or steal any of it. Which was half the reason Fry hadn’t put Bender’s gift in the bag, the other half being it was small enough to fit in his jean pocket.

He pulled it out now to hand to Bender. “That’s ‘cause yours is right here.”

Bender frowned slightly as he took it. “It’s tiny. Everyone else got a big gift.”

“Just open it. You’ll like it… I think.” More like he hoped. He’d been thinking about this for a long time and Christmas had seemed the perfect time it do it. Now he wasn’t so sure with all of the Planet Express crew not necessarily watching but in the room and thus would be aware of it and Bender’s answer as it happened.

It was too late to change his mind about it now though as Bender began ripping the pretty wrapping paper off. “Oh,” he said as he tossed it to the side, revealing the ring box. He eagerly flipped it open, his eyes widening at the sight of the ring inside. “This real diamond?” He looked back up at Fry as he pointed at it with his other hand.

“Of course.” Or at least Fry had been told it was and he’d certainly paid a lot for it – he’d had to save up more than a year since he’d had the thought to do this last year but hadn’t been able to afford a good ring yet – so it had better be real. He lowered himself to one knee as he took a deep breath, about to pop the question. Before he could get out a single syllable though…

“Then, yes.” Bender pulled it out and slid it onto his finger. Luckily, Fry’s measuring of it seemed to have been accurate. “Hey Leela, come look at what Fry got me.”

“You’re not even gonna let me ask the question?”

“Oh uh, sure go ahead and say the words.”

Fry had had a small speech planned about how much Bender meant to him but Leela was already on her way over and he’d forgotten it. So… “I love you. Will you marry me?”

“Yes. Now come on, get off the floor and sit with me.”

Well that hadn’t been as grand as he’d hoped and planed it to be but he had gotten an enthusiast ‘yes’. So he straightened and sat next to Bender on the couch. He put an arm around Fry’s shoulders and pulled him close, not something he normally did a whole lot of when everyone everyone else was present. He liked to seem tough in front of the others and PDA wasn’t tough.

“Did I hear that right?” Leela said as she reached them. “You guys are getting married.”

“Yep!” Bender lifted his hand to show her the ring, stretching it towards her.

She leaned in to examine it. “Ooh. I’m surprised Fry, I wouldn’t have thought you could afford a ring like this.”

“I saved up for it.” And he’d bought it secondhand at a pawn shop, making it less expensive. That shouldn’t matter though, it was still pretty.

“He’s the best fiance.” Bender said it with almost as much conviction as when he called himself the best, making it quite the compliment indeed.

Even if this wasn’t now he’d planned it to go, Fry would happily take it. Not that getting married would change much when they already lived together but it should be fun anyway and would be an excuse to throw a party. And then Fry could call Bender his husband instead of his boyfriend, that was going to be fun.

#my writing #futurama #frender #bender #fry #marriage proposal

[iamvegorott]

Meeting A Magical Man Pt. 4

Part 1: Link Prev: Link Next: Link

----------

Marvin liked to use magic for most everyday tasks and more, but when it came to his tea, he was old-school with it. It never tasted right if he used magic with it. The only time his magic and tea would connect was at the end of the experience when the tea was gone and drank up, leaving behind some leaves on the bottom. As a magic user, he could read them much differently than non-ones trying it. It was always fun to see what he could get from new people. Sometimes he can line it up so that his tea leaves connect with the other person’s, a little peek at how said person would affect Marvin. He’s thrown out men several times before because his leaves did not show anything good about keeping them around. 

“Honey?”

“What’s up?” Chase perked up in his seat and got Marvin to laugh a bit. 

“I was asking if you wanted honey in your tea.” Marvin held up the little container. 

“O-Oh yeah-I-uh-yes, please.” Chase’s face was pink, and he picked at his fingers. 

He was adorable. 

“I guess I am fairly heavy-handed on my pet names.” Marvin giggled, stirring the honey into Chase’s tea. “Not shocking that you got a little mixed up.” 

“Yep, that’s-that’s what caused it.” Chase cleared his throat.

“Now, this is still pretty hot, so be careful. I’m supposed to be helping you, not burning you.” Marvin placed a teacup in front of Chase on the kitchen table. “Unless you ask me to, of course.” He added with a wink before sitting in the chair across from him. Marvin could tell Chase was about to ask what he meant before it clicked, and the pink on his face turned red. 

Again, so adorable.

“So, while we’re waiting for your clothes to dry, I’m going to get a better look at your aura,” Marvin said. “First thing first, are you comfortable right now? I know you’re just in a pair of my spare pants, but you need to be at an even level for this to be as accurate as possible.” He took a little sip of his tea. 

Marvin himself was dressed in a pair of black stretchy pants. They were soft, comfortable, and easy to move around in, plus they made his ass look perfect. He also wore a simple purple crop top, but the slits on the side and down his chest had the top barely covering his torso, but it was his favorite, so he wore it around the house a lot. 

“I’m comfy. They’re actually a little big. I wasn’t expecting that.” Chase chuckled, unaware that ‘Marvin’s spare pants’ were his ex’s pants he had left behind, which is why they fit the way they did. Marvin wasn’t about to tell Chase that, though. 

“I thrive on being a good host.” Marvin hummed and took another sip. He watched Chase finally pick up his cup and sniff it. 

Just like a puppy with something new. 

“Earthy.” Chase smiled when he noticed Marvin watching him, and he took a sip, letting out a hum of his own. “That’s pretty good.” 

“It’s because I made it. Make sure you drink it all up. I’ll need it empty to help me with this job.” 

“Okay.” Chase’s smile only grew, tilting his head in curiosity, but just going with it and having another sip. 

“You shouldn’t feel anything since I’m just reading you, but if you feel tingling, just ignore it. This won’t cause any harm.” Marvin softly chuckled when Chase only nodded in understanding this time and continued working on his tea. Chase liked tea a lot more than he ever thought he would. “Just breathe and relax,” Marvin said, waiting for the final nod before taking in a deep breath of his own, closing his eyes, and when he reopened them, they went from their usual blue to a bright green, glowing and casting a bit of a hue on his white mask. 

Chase couldn’t see what Marvin could, only waiting as Marvin’s eyes focused on him. It was strange…being studied like this. He’s heard of auras before but didn’t know anything about it. There was a good chance that whatever he thought he knew was wrong. He was nowhere near the world of magic users, having discovered them only a few years ago because of frantic, delusional-induced research in hopes of reversing something that could not be done. Well…technically, it could, but he wouldn’t be able to, and too much time had passed for it to happen if he had found someone who could. 

“Interesting.” Marvin finally spoke, eyes returning to their natural state. “I should easily be able to work with that.” 

“That’s good?” 

“Very. Sadly, most of the ingredients I’d need to make the potion in mind I don’t have, so it’ll be some time before it’s made, but we have a start.” Marvin took a lot of pride in his work, a little puff to his chest as he spoke about it. “What I have might be able to help a little, it won’t make you sleep, but you’d be able to relax. Better than nothing while you wait.” 

“Sounds perfect. Thank you, Marvin. I know you’re going out of your way for this cause of Henrik, but it’s still really nice of you to help me.” Chase’s smile was so soft and tender. Marvin felt that same warmth in his chest that he got the first time they had kissed. Apparently, he was really into the whole…whatever Chase had going for him. Probably a kink of some sort but nothing more. He didn’t really do the whole ‘feelings’ thing. When he had tried, it always screwed him over, and he was done with it. 

“Don’t get too sappy on me, or I’ll be making us have to take another shower~” Marvin playfully purred, seeing Chase was done with his tea and was blushing again. He would end up permanently like this if he kept this up. “You can get your clothes now. They should be all dried and ready.” He reached over and took Chase’s cup. 

“You sure you don’t mind me moving around your place?” Chase asked as he got up from the table. 

“If I didn’t, I would have tied you down by now. But that’s something we can try on a different night.” Marvin winked and worked on drinking his tea, wanting to finish it before Chase returned. 

“I-uh-we-uh-’kay.” Chase just fumbled out some gibberish and headed off. Marvin chuckled and quickly finished the rest of his tea.

“Alright, let’s see what we have going here,” Marvin spoke to himself and stood, setting the two cups next to each other. 

He studied the collection of tea leaves that rested on the bottom of them. Looking at their placements, the shapes they took, and how they matched or didn’t match the other. 

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

No.

Marvin felt his throat tighten and flipped the cups over, pressing his hands against the tops and leaning over. Maybe if he messed up the leaves and ruined their patterns, it wouldn’t be true. It wasn’t allowed to be true. That can’t happen. It can’t. 

“Marvin?” Chase’s voice pulled Marvin’s thought back to the present. He needed to get the energy back to where it should be, get back on the level that he was safe and comfortable at. 

“Checking out my ass~” Marvin’s giggle sounded forced, but he knew Chase wouldn’t notice as he wiggled his hips. The sputtering Chase let out told him it had easily worked. “Can’t blame you. These pants are great at their job.” 

“No-I mean-I wasn’t-but like-maybe-maybe a little and-uh-sorry.” Chase rubbed his blushing face. 

“Get everything okay?” Marvin asked, seeing that Chase was now fully dressed.

“Y-Yeah. I should-I should head out. I need to get ready for work.” Chase awkwardly rubbed his neck. 

“I’ll see you at Henrik’s tonight,” Marvin said. 

“I’ll see ya.” Chase shot finger guns as he gathered his keys, phone, and wallet and left the house. 

As soon as Chase was gone, Marvin sighed and went over to some flowers, looking at the planted rose Chase had given him. He gently ran a hand over the rose’s petals and muttered to himself.

“The leaves can be wrong, and they are.”

----------

Tags: @brokentimewatch @bookwormscififan @d-structive

#trickshot #meeting a magical man #veggie writes

[bisexualbumblebee-writes]

Flower Child Part 2- Edward Cullen x OC

Edward Cullen x Autumn Fields

Description: Autumn is a lot more observant than the Cullens originally anticipated. 

Word Count: 1.7k

Everyone could only stare at her in shock upon hearing Autumn’s answer. She didn’t seem to take notice of it as she continued her task of gathering the scraps of paper. As she stood up she offered the group a small smile. 

“I’m guessing you just got back from some sort of hunt,” she continued as she brushed past Carlisle to walk into the kitchen. “You know, I’ve gotta say I’m surprised that it was Jasper who slipped; I thought that he was a bit more careful around guests. I fully expected it to be Emmett that exposed you guys to me.” Everyone was bewildered by how calm she was acting and it definitely showed. 

“Wa-Wait, so you know about us?” Rosalie questioned in an alarmed tone, standing from the couch. 

“Yep,” was Autumn’s only response.

“Since when?” Carlisle asked. 

“Well, it took a few weeks to confirm my theory, but I’d go as far as to say right from the get go,” she shrugged as she threw away the scrap papers, facing the family afterwards. “To be fair I’ve always had a sort of interest in the supernatural, so I had done more than my fair share of research long before my family even moved to Forks. I’d read just about every book on ‘The Cold Ones’ by the time I reached eighth grade. It wasn’t that difficult to connect the dots from there.” For a moment everyone just stared at her in shock. Edward was the one to finally say something, thankfully breaking the slightly awkward silence. 

“Well, now that your theory is confirmed, are you scared of us?” He looked nervous to even ask the question, and by extension, the others were anxious to hear her answer. Almost as if sensing this, Autumn was quick to diffuse the tension. 

“I mean, no,” she answered as if it were obvious. “You guys are literally all like almost a hundred years or older and you still decide to bide your time by going to high school for some reason. If you guys were vicious I would think that you’d have massacred the town long before I got here. I’ve gotta say, there is one thing that’s stumped me.” As she spoke she moved to the kitchen doorway in order to see everyone better. 

“And what’s that?” Carlisle asked curiously. Almost as if reading the girl’s mind, Edward answered for her. 

“Our diet,” he said in a knowing tone, which made her look at him with both shock and confusion on her face. It was obvious that he’d caught her off guard with how accurate his response was, which amused the others.

“Uh, yeah,” she said distractedly before looking at the others. “Um, Forks is a pretty small town. If you guys fed off of humans I would think that there’d be more missing people. And if you fed somewhere else like the Reservation or Port Angeles, why didn’t you guys just move there so you didn’t have to travel so far?” 

“Well, that’s because we don’t feed on people,” Esme answered simply. “We’re vegan, so we feed off of animals. Forks is the perfect place for that because there’s a lot of wildlife around here.” Her answer gave Autumn pause, her eyes slowly trailing over each of the family members, who were watching her reaction carefully. 

“I… don’t think you guys understand how veganism works,” she trailed off slowly, which finally made everyone else laugh. Once that tension had been broken she allowed a smile to slip onto her face as well. 

The Cullens sat Autumn down and talked about vampire myths and truths for quite a while. They answered any questions she had and told her everything she wanted and/or needed to know about them. Their discussion was long enough for it to grow dark. It wasn’t until Edward realized what time it was that the others decided it was time to call it a night. 

“I have one more question,” Autumn spoke as she stood from the couch. 

“Fire away,” Alice answered with a patient smile. 

“Why are you guys telling me all this? What makes me special enough to be told all of this stuff about vampires?” Her question was met with silence. The family looked amongst themselves, unsure how to answer it. It seemed like they knew the answer, but it would just be difficult to talk about it, which confused her. 

“I’ll tell you about it on the way home,” Edward ultimately said, already standing up. 

“Oh, you don’t have to give me a ride home. I’m sure I can manage,” she answered quickly, not wishing for him to do something he didn’t want to for the sake of chivalry. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he retorted as Autumn slipped her jacket on. “It’s practically dark out and your house is at least twenty minutes away by car. Besides, I thought you wanted an answer.” The girl sighed, knowing that her curiosity would get the best of her and she wouldn’t be satisfied until she knew the answer. So, she nodded and allowed the boy to lead her out of the house after saying goodnight to the others. He opened the passenger door of his silver Volvo for her then closed it once she was comfortably seated. 

It was silent for the first five minutes of the car ride. While waiting for Edward to speak, Autumn took the time to examine him. He looked like he was trying to figure out how to start his explanation. She couldn’t deny how handsome he looked under the street lamps that they passed, but she supposed it had something to do with his enhanced beauty. After another few minutes, he finally spoke. 

“Do you believe in soulmates?” He asked softly. The girl was confused, but nodded anyway. 

“Uh, yeah. I believe that everyone has their one person that they’re supposed to spend the rest of their lives with. My parents are basically living proof of it,” she answered, not missing his smile as she talked. “Why?”

“Well, vampires also have those kinds of connections. Ours are much more powerful though,” he explained. That piqued her interest. 

“Powerful in what way?” 

“Our lifespan is eternal, and our love is the same. When it comes to finding our mate - or soulmate, I guess - what we feel is eternal and powerful love, and the want to be with them for as long as we live. Probably even longer. If a vampire falls in love, that feeling never fades away and that love is bound for eternity. Once we fall in love, that’s it. We can’t fall in love again. It isn’t necessarily love at first sight, but it is fast. That’s what happened to Carlisle and Esme, Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice.” Autumn stayed silent as she took in the information, but her confusion wasn’t sated. 

“But what does that have to do with me?” A quiet laugh left Edward’s lips and he looked away from the road long enough to glance at her before his gaze returned ahead. 

“You know, for someone who’s exceptionally smart, you’re very dense.” Autumn didn’t have time to be offended by his comment before realization hit her. 

“I’m your mate,” she muttered. It was more of a statement than a question. The boy couldn’t stop the small, amused grin from forming on his face as he nodded. She laughed, whether in disbelief of joining in his amusement, and shook her head. 

“I should have known there was a reason. I felt that pull towards you,” she said, internally reprimanding herself for not realizing sooner. 

“Stop it,” Edward demanded softly, carefully slipping his hand into hers. The girl was confused for a moment before she remembered his little power. She sighed softly and squeezed his hand gently.

“So, what does that make us?” She asked softly after a minute. 

“Whatever you want us to be,” he answered in the same tone. “You don’t have to decide right now. I’ve waited almost a hundred years to find you, I think I can manage just a little longer if that’s what you’d prefer. But, if you want nothing to do with me, I would like you to tell me when you do figure it out.” 

“I already know what I want.” 

“And what’s that?” He asked, not looking at her. Of course, they both knew that Edward could just read her mind and get the answer himself, but he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t take the opportunity to answer for herself away from her, and she appreciated it. And maybe it’s that sort of action that helped her make her decision. 

“You,” she responded without a second thought. Edward’s smile returned immediately, which in turn caused her to smile as well. 

“The vampire and the flower child,” he muttered. “What an unlikely combination.” 

“Maybe it just makes this pairing that much more special,” Autumn suggested as they finally pulled into her driveway. The boy considered her words before nodding. 

“Maybe so,” was all he said before getting out of the car. The girl waited for him to open her door before getting out. Edward, being the gentleman he was, walked her to her door. When they stopped at the doorstep, they faced each other. 

“Thanks for the ride,” she muttered with a shy smile. 

“You’re welcome,” he responded smoothly. For a moment they just stood there, staring at each other. Just as Autumn opened her mouth to wish him a goodnight, he spoke. 

“May I take you out sometime?” He asked. Although surprised, the girl couldn’t help but smile as she nodded. 

“I’d like that a lot,” she answered. 

“This weekend?” Edward suggested, which made her nod again. 

“Sounds good.” Now it was his turn to nod and, without saying anything else, he took her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. 

“Goodnight Autumn,” he all but whispered before taking a step back, leaving the girl slightly flustered. 

“Goodnight Edward,” she responded, opening her front door. They shared one last smile before she closed the door behind her. Autumn had never been happier that she was right about the Cullens. 

#twilight #twilight imagine #twilight fanfiction #edward cullen #edward cullen imagine #edward cullen x oc

[letsgofoletsgo]

My part of an art trade for @disney365

It was evening on snaktooth island, and the residents of the makeshift town were settling in. The bustle of the day quieted down as the Grumpuses returned to their homes, ready to rest after a busy day. The cries of the bugsnax also dimmed, only the snores of Gramble’s snax emanating from his barn.

Wambus looked over his sauce farm as the sun peeked from the horizon. Wiping his brow, he sighed in content as he admired his hard work. Placing his rake against the fence, he sauntered back to his hut, humming a little melody as he did.

Entering the house, the bedroom was empty. However, he heard voices from the loft. Treading quietly through the doorway, he looked up to see two grumpuses sitting at the upper desk.

“So I’m thinkin’ these ruins could be the epicenter of the lost civilization! So to speak, heheh.” Tiffany said, pointing to some notes and sketches on the desk.

“Wow, that’s a pretty big find Triff!” Pansy exclaimed. “Do you think you’d be able to uncover more of the structures?”

“I certainly hope so. I don’t know how much of the buildings are still intact, but it certainly wouldn’t hurt to look! If we do manage to find anything that we can accurately date, it could be a new glimpse into life thousands of years ago!”

“Sounds like you two have been hard at work.” Wambus called up, a soft smile on his face.

The two Grumpuses turned to the voice, slightly startled. However, they lit up

“Wambus! So sorry dear, didn’t even hear ya come in!” Tiffany said sheepishly. “Pansy and I were so focused on some new finds here, guess we didn’t notice.”

“‘S No problem. How about you two come down here, and you can tell me all about it?” He suggested.

The two descended down the stairs, Pansy bright-eyed as they jumped over the last step. “Triff found these awesome ruins in the Scorched Gorge!!”

“Is that so?” He looked to her.

“Yep! It was a whole new development from the looks of things. I still don’t know what exactly it was for, but I’ve got a few theories.” She explained.

“Well now, that’s quite a find. ‘Course, I expect nothing less from my talented archeologist.”

Tiffany blushed. “Well, I can’t take all the credit. Pansy’s been helpin’ me out after all.”

“Yeah, it's actually pretty fun! Its so cool to see all the lost artifacts and such on the island.”

Wambus chuckled. “Well, if you two are gonna find the next big chunk of history, you’re gonna need your rest.” He motioned to the bedroom. “Come on now, best we all get to bed.”

The two nodded, following Wambus. Tiffany slipped off her vest and put her hat on the table before joining her two loves in the bed. Wambus was in the middle, with Pansy cuddled up by his side. He extended his arm out, pulling her against him as she giggled. The blue Grumpus sighed, closing his eyes.

“You alright, honey?” Tiffany asked quietly.

“Yep. Just happy to have my two favorite Grumpuses by my side.”

“Well, you two are my favorite Grumpuses.” Pansy commented with a smile.

“Heheh, Ditto.”

The three lay in silence for a little bit, just enjoying each other’s company. As the two snuggled against Wambus’ side, it got him thinking.

“You know…” He spoke after a while, “I… Know I may not be the most agreeable of Grumpuses, and I may not be the best at communicatin’, but you two mean the world to me. No bad mood of mine will ever change that, and I hope you never forget that.”

“Aww, Wambus. Even when you go through your ruts, we still love you.” Pansy chimed.

“Agreed. No one’s perfect, and we’ll support ya through all your tough times.” Tiffany said.

“Mm…” Wambus yawned. “You two are the best partners a Grumpus could ask for.”

The feeling was mutual among the three as they drifted off to sleep, grateful and safe in each other’s arms.

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

BIIITCH, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Hush was so fucking goood!!! And that gif at the start???? I started out reading your story at ao3 but I’m so grateful for switching to tumblr. The thought you put into every detail of this AU blows me away every time (not to mention the research, the motivation of the characters, the life you’ve breathed into them 🤯). And don’t get me started on Daemon’s dirty talk - the way you write him is pure perfection!!! I’m always left wanting more and yet it’s always the perfect amount at the right time. I can read 50+ chapters of him just talking dirty shit. Thank you soo much for giving us another chapter from his perspective!!

I know the current story doesn’t have a plot per se buuut it’s such a great way pf building up their relationship without taking away from the amazing plot you’ve built in the other instalments. Plus, and idk if that was your intention, but I like that it shows that Daemon is really obsessed as a person and as much as they’re both wanting to have a child that’s not what their relationship is about. He’s never resentful or questioning why she’s not preggo yet. I honestly thought I would like the new story but I would be impatiently waiting for the baby fic, however once again you exceeded any expectation I had and I’m genuinely having the best time reading your story. Full honesty tho - at the end of each chapter I thinking ‘yep, that’s the one, ain’t no way she’s not pregnant after that dicking down 😅

I just can’t say enough how much I love your writing and and how much joy I get every time I get a notification you’ve posted❤️❤️❤️

Omg, thank you so much! I was terrified I went too far with 'Hush', as it's quite icky but I just so badly wanted to write this after @storyblackhold and I had the most FERAL discussion about it. I knew I wanted to post on AO3 as I friggin' love AO3, but there seems to be so much more of a community for this here on Tumblr (plus I can put thirsty GIFs in and make my page pretty lol). Can't tell you how much time I've wasted actually combing through footage and converting GIFs myself - the one for 'Hush' was one I cut! And it is so fun that my nerd love for research is paying off. To think this started as a dirty excuse to fantasise about Matt Smith in a platinum wig throwing the word 'cunt' around... Then I had to make the High Valyrian accurate by manually translating it... Then I was studying scenes and tweaking them for my own purposes... Next thing you know, I'm researching how a medieval healer could have inadvertently caused the death of their labouring patient by giving them toxic fungus lol. Now, we at a whole fic with a backstory, what the hell. Keep in mind that the remedy Maester Gerardys uses on poor Reader's leg in 'Hush' was also something I researched! Myrrh has a lot of antibacterial properties, and it was said that olive oil formed a barrier on wounds to prevent infection. Plus, the oil would stop the bandage from sticking as much.

This smut anthology is a great way to throw in tidbits of character building and general plot points without getting derailed by a whole narrative arc; for example, we learn that Reader goes back to King's Landing fairly regularly, that they've settled well into life at Dragonstone, that Daemon has stuff to do on the island (i.e. training those fuckwits from the Second Company) and that he's built a sort of reluctant friendship with Harwin. We learn that Otto's still being a bitter bitch about Daemon finding actual happiness, and that Lord Lyman is a G. Little things, ya know? As for the pregnancy thing, it can take quite a while to conceive, and as of yet it isn't the burning urge of both of them to have a kid; they're still learning each other (hehe) and figuring out how to navigate life as a married couple. Keep in mind also that this anthology will only vaguely span a few months - there's no exact order to them, nor a specific timeline, but we aren't talking years or anything. I know there are examples of women falling pregnant like immediately after they marry, but I see that used a lot and I wanted to explore the option of... not exploring it? I don't know if that makes sense. Let's just say that Daemon's not keeping track of her cycle or anything, he isn't quite that crazy yet. They're in the honeymoon phase of their relationship - they'll get there, don't worry!

Thank you so, so much for such a lovely comment! I really appreciate all the feedback I've been getting, it's insane!

#fanfiction comments

[thotsforvillainrights]

~Settling In~

Au: Roommates

Part: 4

Theme: General/fluff?

You smiled at the sound of your alarm as your phone vibrated on the counter next to your bed. You'd already been more than ready for today and you woke up, two steps ahead of your own alarm. "You ready in there?" Magne's voice sounded from the other side of your door. "Yep!" You replied as you dismissed the alarm. You took one last look at your outfit in the mirror before grabbing your bag and heading out. Since landing jobs the three of you worked out an accurate carpool schedule. Since Magne was the only one of you that had a car at the moment, you needed to conform to each others work schedule. You could only hope your bosses would understand this. First Magne would drop off Toga at the tech store, then she'd drop you off on the college campus, and then finally she'd be taking herself to the mall for work. It all seemed to be perfect (or so she hoped). "Okay have a good day and no being over the top with customers alright? Make a good first impression, clock in early from your break, and make eye contact when you meet the store manager." Magne gave Toga a semi-lecture as she pulled into the parking lot of the Tech store. Spinner was standing outside sweeping the concrete and noticed the familiar car pull up. He waved and quickly made his way over. "Oh I got it, yah yah. You're such a mom friend." Toga complained at Magne before smiling widely and hugging her then you. She stepped out of the car and skipped into the store while Spinner made his way to the driver's side door. Magne rolled the window down and waved at him. "Hey guys! H-hey Y/N." He looked past Magne to smile at you, blushing when you waved back. "Don't worry about her. Since I recruited her, I'll be the one to train her today. I have your number so I'll text you if anything goes awry." He reassured the both of you before saying his goodbyes and heading back into the store. "You know he's got the fattest fucking crush on you, right Y/N?" You almost choked on your spit when Magne spoke up out of the blue. "HUH???" You whipped your head around to stare at her. "Don't huh me." she smirked while keeping her eyes on the road. "What you can't tell? From day one he's had a huge thing for you. Trust me, I know because Sako used to do that to me before we started dating." She looked back fondly over memories of her ex. "Anyway, you should totally hit him up." You scoffed at her and rolled your eyes. "Oh please, you say that about everyone that pays me attention. Last month it was the girl at the donut counter. The month before that you thought the guy at the park liked me too." She shrugged carelessly and continued to speak.

 "Want to know how I can tell? Whenever he's talking when all of us are around, he only focuses on you. Just like when I dropped Toga off a few minutes ago. He literally looked right past me and talked while only looking at you. Anyway, just food for thought. Now get out there and have a great day!" Magne parked on the campus and hugged you tightly before you got out of the car. You watched her drive away before adjusting your bag and walking down the sidewalk to find the English building. You finally found your way (after checking a few campus maps) and were able to clock in just in time. You suddenly felt a light tap on your shoulder and swiveled around to look. "Good evening, are you Y/N by chance?" A well dressed gentleman asked you. "Oh uh, yes? Who wants to know?" He chuckled at you. "Only your boss of course. Pleased to meet you. I'm Mr. Kurogiri. I'm the English teacher you'll be assisting." He checked the watch on his wrist and smiled gently. "No time for any training here. We'll have to jump right in i that's alright with you? I'll fill in the gaps on the way to the classroom. Here..." He unlocked the door next to you. "This is my office...now yours too I suppose. You can leave your things in here until we return." You nodded and complied with his wishes before watching him lock the door back and usher for you to follow him from the offices. "As my assistant you'll have to tackle various tasks for me. I'm sure the woman that interviewed you filled you in correct?"

"Oh yes! I think got the basics but just run it by me yourself in case she missed anything." You spoke confidently at him. He smiled and nodded. "Right of course. You'll need to assist the students should they have any questions in class in case I'm working with a different student. You'll need to work with my other T.A. in collaboration of schedule as well. You have to help fill in the substitute in case I'm not available for class one or two days. It should happen fairly often in the next month or so considering my wife is pregnant with our first child." You smiled and nodded. "Congratulations!" He thanked you and continued with his run-down. "You'll need to run papers through the scantron and help grade various tests and reports as well as searching for planarization. You'll need to also work on organizing files and sending out a few emails. My apologies to you Y/n if this seems like a lot. It may sound scary at first but I can assure you that it is doable. I and my other T.A. will never leave you by yourself to drown under the workload." It was a good thing he said that considering you were starting to lose your confident façade after hearing the workload you'd have to face. "Ah here we are! A few more things before we enter. There are a few students here and there that you'll need to focus on. I'm not saying they're trouble makers but...Oh who am I kidding? They're trouble makers. So make sure you keep your eyes on Kendo Rappa and Rikiya Katsukame. They're both on the football team. You'll know them when you see/hear them." Without a second to waste Kurogiri opened the double doors to the classroom. You took in the surroundings and felt nostalgia rush in from your school experience in almost the same room. "Everyone, this is Y/N my new Teaching assistant. You will treat her/him/them with the same respect you treat me or Ms. Kizuki with." Kurogiri nodded to the side so you'd notice the woman standing on his other side. She noticed you and quickly waved while uttering an excited but silent 'hello'. The rest of the class period was spent by you simply sitting at your T.A. desk and observing Kurogiri and Kizuki interact with the students/teach. You quickly realized why he warned you to keep an eye on Rappa and Katsukame as the two of them didn't stop talking the whole period. Rappa had fallen asleep several times and Katsukame was on his phone the whole time. Neither of them seemed to care much about the class at all. When you asked Kizuki about it she simply shook her head and sighed. "Yeah they got football scholarships. They're on an easy ride out of the university so they don't really need this class all that much. What about you? What are you doing here. Did you graduate or are you a student yourself?" She asked curiously. "Oh yeah, I graduated not too long ago actually. And you?" You asked her and she paused to think on it. "Well of course I graduated a year or two ago if I can remember correctly. I'm just doing this job on the side while I try my hand at journalism. I got an internship at some up and coming company called Detnerat but I passed on the opportunity for this instead. I figured it would look better to have something English or writing related on my resume if I planned to go into something like journalism. I still keep into contact with the man that offered me that job for mentorship really. If you ever need a higher up position that pays more then let me know. I can hook you up." She winked and you smiled. "Thanks."

"Alright that about cuts it. Any questions?" Kurogiri called out before sighing in annoyance. "Yes Rappa." The man chuckled before clearing his throat and speaking. "Yeah uh...is the new T.A. single?" You stared in disgust while Rappa made goo goo eyes at you. "Absolutely none of your business and I suggest you get it together or you'll be spending the better half of your evening cleaning the dust in the Dean's office, Kendo." Kurogiri threatened and Rappa held his hands up in defense. "Sorry sorry." You rolled your eyes and pulled your phone out to text Magne and let her know you had about an hour or two left. While you waited out the rest of your day by getting to know Kizuki and Kurogiri more, Magne was prepping to call both you and Toga to let you know it was about time she got off. You hung up the phone with her and looked over at Kurogiri eating his salad and chatting with Kizuki. (The three of you were eating lunch on campus together) "Mr. Kurogiri, I have a small question to ask you. Would it be alright if you could let me off of work around this time every day? I know it's probably a lot to ask for and all but I usually ride around with my roommate and right now she's the only one with a car and all..." You stared at him with hopeful eyes and he smiled to reassure you. "Well I don't see why not? I know what it's like to be in a difficult position as such. You come whenever as best for you and I'll watch the clock to handle your time for you." You thanked him over and over for his kindness. Luckily Magne was able to acquire a decent schedule to fit with you as well. Unfortunately Toga's boss didn't allow her a consistent schedule no matter how much Spinner put in a good word for her. However, Spinner was kind enough to offer Toga a ride to work on any morning or evening that Magne or you couldn't. It would seem for the moment that things are going fairly well and the three of you are settling in just fine.

#roommates au #au #toga himiko #himiko toga #bnha kurogiri #chitose kizuki #magne #big sis magne #kenji hikiishi

[bllsbailey]

Monday Morning Meme Madness

It's a very special Monday today. That's right, it's the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday. That means a lot of us ate too much, watched a game we really didn't care about, and now we're tired and the work week's just starting.

Yep, we definitely need some laughs to kick off this week.

Thankfully, we've got just the memes, jokes, and clips you need!

We might as well start with funny Super Bowl tweets, in celebration of the end of the 2023-2024 Taylor Swift Football season.

Me watching the #SuperBowl today: pic.twitter.com/NdqXwjeaal— Prison Mitch (@MidnightMitch) February 11, 2024

This was a common sentiment for a lot of people. It's not so much about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce as it's about the NFL making us overdose on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.

It’s almost time! #SuperBowl2024 pic.twitter.com/SWkQf1sfxS— Prison Mitch (@MidnightMitch) February 11, 2024

Yeah, it's like that. 😂

Gonna tell my kids Justin Timberlake joined MS-13. pic.twitter.com/9gSQjacr8m— Mickey Blowtorch (@MickeyBlowtorch) February 11, 2024

Ha! Love it or hate it, the Super Bowl is the perfect confluence of sports, commercial interest, entertainment, and celebrity to bring about some pretty funny stuff.

The last time an nfl player showed as much rage as Travis Kelce did, a girlfriend and a waiter ended up stabbed to death.— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) February 12, 2024

Things certainly did get Juice-y between Travis Kelce and Andy Reid at one point.

Kelce's angry outburst generated so many jokes we couldn't even keep up. This one's going to be the source of endless memes.

My kid when I serve him the wrong colored fork pic.twitter.com/O9m809SW9q— brit (@pashedmotatos) February 12, 2024

Been there.

SHE’S GOING TO DUMP ME AND WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT, I JUST KNOW IT! pic.twitter.com/rT4UyJydM3— Tandy (@dantypo) February 12, 2024

Recommended

LOL!

"It's pronounced die-a-BEE-TEES!" pic.twitter.com/5Piw5TO2JT— AmishDude (@TheAmishDude) February 12, 2024

So many Wilford Brimley fans out there.

“THERE WAS TOTALLY ROOM FOR JACK ON THE DOOR!!!” pic.twitter.com/8uyoFJnyUT— Lizzy Lou Who ❄️ (@_wintergirl93) February 12, 2024

Fact check: True.

pic.twitter.com/dRcKEB9Mr4— The Right To Bear Memes (@grandoldmemes) February 11, 2024

HAHA!

Jeff Goldblum looks like a fan who’s on the big screen for the first time in his life😂 pic.twitter.com/Mjqk2zneo6— Romi Bean (@Romi_Bean) February 12, 2024

Seriously, Goldblum actually seems like a Hollywood star you wouldn't want to put in a chokehold.

Looking forward to the halftime show with usher pic.twitter.com/d9McD2Etai— Long Monkeypox (@podiatristdon) February 12, 2024

LOLOLOL!

Has anyone done this yet? pic.twitter.com/hrazHyhJ7S— Alex Achorn (@alexachorn) February 12, 2024

It's perfect! 😂

google search: what is an ice spice pic.twitter.com/e6zuLitjeJ— Riley 🐍🖤 (@RiledUpForSwift) February 11, 2024

True story. The older you get, the more you don't know any of the famous people they show during the Super Bowl. Also, you don't care.

Tell me Im wrong pic.twitter.com/cOL34vSxz7— Kevin Ryan (@KevinRyanComedy) February 12, 2024

He's not wrong.

Gen Xer: 'That's Ludacris.'

Boomer: 'I agree.'

mithril shirt was a good choice. crafted by the Elves. more valuable than the Shire itself. pic.twitter.com/ZRTWQ669mx— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) February 12, 2024

Okay, the Lord of the Rings fans are going to take a moment to laugh at this. The rest of you can take a moment to laugh at the Lord of the Rings fans.

pic.twitter.com/ZicGcKgla7— Frank Luntz (@FrankLuntz) February 12, 2024

Bwahaha!

Okay, okay. We've got more for you than just Super Bowl jokes.

I’m crying 💀 pic.twitter.com/6JUjmzPj0q— NO CONTEXT HUMANS (@HumansNoContext) February 5, 2024

And we're dead. 💀💀💀

pic.twitter.com/tYbXLxRfMe— illuminatibot (@iluminatibot) February 11, 2024

That pig knew what was up.

IYKYK pic.twitter.com/MfrBli0JOn— Judianna (@Judianna) February 8, 2024

All you youngins out there don't even understand how accurate this is. Also, we really miss McDonald's apple pies.

me leaving my house at 8:10 hoping I make it to work by 8:00 pic.twitter.com/nYTTy4GMXo— ☔ (@Whotfismick) February 8, 2024

LOL! Look, if this is you after reading Monday Morning Meme Madness for too long, you only have yourself to blame.

Joe Biden touring Egypt: https://t.co/yUUOZ1h1Qr pic.twitter.com/fqkE7ojxmE— Prison Mitch (@MidnightMitch) February 9, 2024

Are we seriously going to make jokes about 'an elderly man with a poor memory'?

Yes. Yes, we are.

pic.twitter.com/kxd4cW3cl2— Out of Context Human Race (@NoContextHumans) February 8, 2024

Well done, young lady. Well done.

Mummies are just people burritos. https://t.co/lwLIrZJiDM— Montana Department of Organic Flammability (@MontanaDOOF) February 9, 2024

HAHA.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought this was America.” pic.twitter.com/gZt8zxRS6I— Ian McKelvey (@ian_mckelvey) February 12, 2024

How else are you supposed to know if they work?!

Almost nailed it. pic.twitter.com/bvzKmZIDV6— ForAmerica (@ForAmerica) February 10, 2024

LOL.

Basically every kamala speech in one video.🙄🤣🤣 she nails it!⤵️💯 pic.twitter.com/mp6RbvQu29— Jannine.. #MagaMemeQueen ™️ 👑🇺🇸 (@janninereid1) February 10, 2024

She's good. Too good.

pic.twitter.com/l2Yr0NsX6V— no context memes (@weirddalle) February 10, 2024

LOL. It takes a strange mind to come up with things like this.

You know who you are 👀 pic.twitter.com/Z8ZYf1KsJl— ʞɹıɯ𝕊 (@FoundersGirl) February 10, 2024

Crocs wearers aren't gonna like this one.

pic.twitter.com/htY329U2xO— G (@stevensongs) February 12, 2024

Okay, that's hilarious. 😂

— Jon 🔬 (@JonnyMicro) February 9, 2024

Ha! Star Wars fans totally heard that in their heads.

pic.twitter.com/u5vlsEe31Z— no context memes (@weirddalle) February 10, 2024

Never, ever, poop with friends.

pic.twitter.com/tiItdG0amj— G (@stevensongs) February 10, 2024

It's a little over the top, but not by much.

Jay-z looks like a black grandma sick of raising her daughter's kids. pic.twitter.com/a2YmRQ0a3L— Royce Lopez (@hippojuicefilm) February 11, 2024

HAHAHA!

🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/ZBcDqTtXc2— PAUL ALIEN 9💎🔞🔞🔞 (@PhilipL47837986) February 11, 2024

Dang! Dad is brutal!

the result is just… wow pic.twitter.com/ZnQWN0BZmJ— Jessica O’Donnell 🏈 (@heckyessica) February 10, 2024

Son of a biscuit. Got us. We admit it.

pic.twitter.com/X5X9IhEbrc— i like food (@messedupfoods) February 12, 2024

Ha! We've all been there.

pic.twitter.com/N3nT8C9ZqX— G (@stevensongs) February 12, 2024

LOL!

how coincidental pic.twitter.com/FnDTTvJTxq— internet hall of fame (@InternetH0F) February 11, 2024

Congratulations, Manjeet.

Manjeet: 'Jeetyet?'

Her: 'Yes, but I could eat again.'

pic.twitter.com/YLWzjJ3wl8— Pam D (@soirchick) February 10, 2024

We like food, okay?!?!

What your man is doing instead of texting you back… pic.twitter.com/kQHKcnwxMl— 𝕂𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕊𝕡𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕝𝕂 (@CallMeK1123) February 11, 2024

We don't see the problem here.

pic.twitter.com/YF5xPJKrme— 🏴 Nevada Memes før Liberty🏴 (@1864Memes) February 11, 2024

pic.twitter.com/WSR8HEXmNa— G (@stevensongs) February 11, 2024

Harsh! LOL.

pic.twitter.com/iMTlVFQt8e— Spill The Memes (@SpillTheMemes) February 11, 2024

Nice!

Names that shouldn't be 😬 pic.twitter.com/A86Hw2uAiv— Templar⚔️ (@aTeXan575) February 12, 2024

LOL! Try not to laugh. We dare you.

Now get out there and win this Monday like you're Taylor Swift in your first Super Bowl appearance!

Until we meme again …

***

Editor's Note: Do you enjoy Twitchy's conservative reporting taking on the radical left and woke media? Support our work so that we can continue to bring you the truth. Join Twitchy VIP and use the promo code SAVEAMERICA to get 50% off your VIP membership!

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[joytraveler]

Death Master 2 (continued)

The third stage is a gruesome swamp, which seems to be being used for a butcher's larder-- what with all the dead animals hanging from the trees!

"Ohhh that, that Sneaky Pete!!" Bea growls at her mysterious foe. The morbid stage ahead rather distracts her, however. "Maybe we... maybe we just shouldn't do this, we've had enough of this game haven't we??"

Glockroach: Leatherface is gonna be the boss of this HNV: It's this or Box Baby, Bea... make your choice

"Mmmm I sure do love Slaughter Swamp! Yep, just gonna mosey right along ahead there!!"

Of course the decapitated animals fall out of the trees and attack you. Why would they not, right? And bony arms grab at you from out of the swamp... And finally a towering pile of SOMETHING rises up out of the muck, surrounded by swirling will o' wisps!

Llord_Kuruku: ok wut john_brown: wait I thought this was a fantasy hack and slasher why are you fighting the poop emoji???

"THE GREAT MIGHTY POO!" Bea sings at the top of her voice! "Hehgegehehehehgggfff I don't wanna touch it, no!! Long range, gimme the torch, NO!" She has to chase after an annoying little ghost to get the torch to set her weapon ablaze!

Once the stack of brown stuff's gaseous little friends are destroyed, it weakens and collapses, leaving behind some sort of shrine, half sunk in the murk; Alonzo stares at it for a second, and there's another flashback.

"Here we go, nnng.. comfort food.. What's the happiest thing I have.." she reaches to the snack table.. "Yesss, gummy sharks.. Ok I'm ready"

The sunken shrine fades to a newer shrine in a brighter forest, where Alonzo is being led along by a shrine keeper, and shown two mosaics. One shows the Death Master, whom we already know, raising the dead from their graves. The other mosaic shows a different figure – the one who's been following you all along – who seems to be putting live people into graves!

john_brown: i really like the little world mythology this game is building Syrupentine: oh, it's like the Wizard of Oz! This guy's brother is hunting you for killing him and taking his place! His scythe, whatever

"Right, so I must be the Good Death of the North, meaning I have to be enemies with Elphaba now"

aroseahorseboy: now don't get me wrong this game is totally cool and gory and everything but! I feel like they are beating around the bush and not telling us about glem and his mom and dad!

Stage 4 starts with a horrible monster's maw, seeming to form the gateway to this next world. As Bea treks through, though, it becomes clear that it's no metaphor-- the whole next stage takes place inside the body of a vast dead creature!

pigbarrel: hey, its my house!! pull up a maggot and make yourself at home!

Sunlight shines through the many gaping holes in the monster's body, illuminating all the lovely scenes of Alonzo hacking his way through gigantic decomposers and detritovores, and running from collapsing vertebrae and certain things that are partially digested but still alive. The music even seems composed of various squelches and gurgles, to boot. A long, spiraling spinal staircase is the worst part, with a sea of roiling worms rising up after her!

"Hey, my followers! No autographs, please.”

Apparently this monster was a female, because the boss of this stage is a zombie egg, able to 'hatch' seemingly any number of appendages from under its calcified shell! At one point it becomes a pinwheel of wings and legs, and at least four shrieking beaks!

pigbarrel: and there's me, sorry for all the attacking HNV: I wondered if your Facebook picture was accurate, sorry for doubting you SugarGlyda: !!!!! oh its a perfect limb baby!!!

When the egg is finally stilled, Alonzo makes his way out onto a ridge overlooking a valley, that glows menacingly with purple evil. But, once again, we get a flashback; Alonzo and his would-be bride, embracing as they sit on the ridge together, watching as a magnificent, phoenix-like bird soars over the sunset-- in fact it's clearly the very bird whose ruined body you just journeyed through.

"I'm not crying internally, nope not me.. Made o' granite, be I."

TaichouSenseiKun: It's okay Bea let it out john_brown: why is this game so sad though?? HNV: We end up asking that about almost all of them honestly

To be concluded.

#jtnuggets #mar 30 #bea #john brown's body #hnv #sugahglyda #pigbarrel #taichousenseikun #syrupentine #llord kuruku #glockroach