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#perfect for a hostile-feeling situation
sskk-manifesto · 1 day
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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )
#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like#“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb#But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment#I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol#random rambles#This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late
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skzdarlings · 1 month
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bets and situations ; skz ; minho x reader
original ask: requested by anonymous: minho and “is that how you usually get out of these situations? by fucking your way out of them?” please
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pairing: lee minho/reader content info: rivals to lovers. street racing. stubborn!reader. placing bets, betting sex (still explicit consent), fucking vs making love. outdoor sex. sex on a car. explicit sexual content. word count: 3400 words.
masterlist. part of the valentine’s day stories series. credit to prompts. requests are closed.
enjoy! <3
-
Sure, you are a little insufferable. 
But Lee Minho is worse. 
He carries himself with an elitist pomposity, like he is above the other drivers just because he once raced professionally.  Trophies or not, he is out here with the rest of you, illegally racing cars down desert roads, placing bets in the dead of night. 
You were content until this fucker came along.  Lee Minho and the stupid pretty face that won him fan clubs and brand deals.  Ugh.  You hate him for having that life and for giving it up when it is a fantasy for you.  The world of professional racing is notoriously hostile to women.  You admit there is a tinge of bitterness on your side of every interaction, but he goads you like an asshole.    
He arrives with his usual entourage.  A couple of them are racers, though not professionals, and a couple just spectate and mind his vehicle.  He has a nice car, almost as pretty as him.
You whistle as he approaches.  He looks at you with his usual exasperation, delicate features pinched with annoyance.  His hair was a vibrant red in his racing days, quite the act of showmanship, but it’s a natural dark brown now, framing his mean, stupid, handsome face.
“Hey, pretty boy,” you say.  “Finally gonna grow a pair and race me?”
His scowl turns to a bitchy little sneer.  He laughs sarcastically. 
“Not worth the mileage,” he says.  He shoulders past you, his leather jacket against your denim.  “Winning against a little girl does nothing for my massive ego.”  He says this with a sarcastic flourish, mocking your derision of him. 
You know the comment is a deliberately cheap shot.  Unfortunately, in reality, Minho is the least chauvinist racer you have ever met, treating the women here with the same basic dignity as the men.
It’s just you he hates, because you hate him too.   It was inevitable.  You were hostile when first meeting.  You challenged him to a few too many personal races.  You were a sore loser and even worse winner.  What started as an effort to prove something spiralled into a rivalry. 
You won the last couple races.  You gloated a little too hard and now he is refusing to race you again. 
“Sure,” you say.  “Sounds to me like you’re scared to lose for the third time in a row.” 
He just keeps walking, ignoring you, which is so much more infuriating than when he snaps back. 
You decide to keep your distance tonight.  If you continue to agitate yourself, you are going to develop a stress aneurysm.   So you keep to your own group, race your own races, and collect your own winnings. 
But, ugh.
He is right there. 
Just in the corner of your eye, just skirting the periphery of your space, just breathing the same night air.  When you are looking at him, he captivates you.  When you look away, he is like an impossible itch, begging for your attention again.  You constantly catch him looking at you too, which does not help matters. 
By the end of the night, you feel like a live wire, all electricity and unbound energy.  Not a single race has satisfied you.  You won three of four, making way more money than you lost, but it is not enough.  It is never enough.  You already know how good you are.  You know you can beat most of these guys blindfolded. 
Your only perfect match is Lee Minho.  The only victory that matters is that one. 
As the crowd disperses and everyone departs, you march towards him.  He is saying goodbye to his crewmates, his back to you, but his buddy cracks a grin when he sees you coming.  He smacks Minho on the shoulder before turning away. 
Minho turns around with a befuddled look on his face.  When he sees you, it slackens to that unamused vexation.  He pockets his hands in his leather jacket and slouches against his car.  He shakes his head as you stomp up to him. 
“One race,” you say. 
“No,” he replies, without missing a beat. 
“Why not?”
“Because I said so,” is his insufferable reply.
“That’s not an answer,” you say.
“That’s too bad.”  He gives you a final shrug then turns, opening his car door, preparing to leave. 
“Wait,” you say. 
You heart is racing.  Somehow, you feel like tonight is different from every other night.  Maybe it is the perfect crispness on the breeze, the remarkably clear sky, or maybe just the way those jeans seem to hug his thighs.  Stupid hottie.  You will have him and his attention.  You will get the better of him, one way or another.  It was all leading to this. 
“One race,” you say.  “A bet worth the mileage.” 
“I don’t need your money,” he says.
“I’m not offering money,” you reply. 
Finally, he closes the car door.  He sighs, a very loud and dramatic sigh, like you are the biggest inconvenience on earth. 
“What are you offering?” he says, facing you.  The disinterest in his tone is betrayed by the curious sweep of his gaze, an up-and-down perusal like he expects to find his prize somewhere on your body. 
Oh.
You feel flushed inside, realizing that it exactly what he is thinking.  Looking at you with a hungry, lecherous gaze, anticipating you are about to offer up yourself as a potential prize. 
It makes your heart stutter and your lips do the same, your next words all tangled up on your tongue.  It did not even occur to you to offer such a thing.  You hate him, so of course you would never think about him that way.  But now that he is looking at you like that, his expression coloured with interest and suggestion, you find yourself too shocked to even parse your feelings. 
The only thing that is obvious, abundantly obvious, is the punch of heat in your gut.  No, lower.  Heat that curls up inside you and makes you second guess.  Heat that is curious about the look in his eye. 
Then you shake your head.  You resist the urge to smack him for throwing you off.  You were in control and now you are flustered. 
“Not me,” you snap. 
His eyes, which have made their way down your whole body, follow the same path up.  He meets your gaze eventually.  Then he says nothing, because he is the worst, and just lifts an eyebrow at you. 
“My car,” you say, with no-nonsense finality.  “I bet my car.” 
He blinks at you.  Long, slow blinks like a cat.   It takes him a second to find a sentence. 
“Your car,” he says.  He tilts his head and squints, looking at you with scrutiny, like he is trying to see through your ploy.  “And what do you want if you win?” 
“Admit I’m the better driver once and for all,” you say.  The words feel a little foolish leaving your mouth.  You have been chasing the high of that confession, aggravated every time he dodged it, but saying it out loud makes you feel needy.  You clear your throat and stand straight like you are unbothered.  “That’s all I want,” you say.
He rubs a hand across his jaw, laughs incredulously, then swings his arms out at his sides. 
“Fine,” he says.
By now, everyone else has gone.  It is just you and him under the streetlights, the long empty road stretched across the dunes ahead.   You stare at one another, like there is no road and no sky, no world at all outside each other.  It is intense and all-consuming.   
You hold out a hand.  He takes it and yanks you closer to him.
“I would have told you that for free,” he says.  “Since it’s the truth.  You just had to ask.”
Now it is your turn to blink, looking at him with shock.  You would have been less stupefied if he called you a tirade of rude names, or tried to weave doubts in your mind.  Instead, he smiles at you, and it is not half as smarmy as usual.  He drops your hand and turns away, leaving you gawking at the air as he ducks into his car. 
He honks the horn, snapping you to attention. 
The heat rushes back in a hurry.  You swallow, then walk to your car on suddenly shaky legs. 
-
He wins.
Of course he wins.
You were distracted by his parting words.  You and him are so closely matched in skill that a fleeting weakness is all it takes for one to overtake the other.  You were faring well at the start, but his engine revved and your attention strayed.  Your prize was somewhat nullified by his confession, your behaviour embarrassing in hindsight.  You bet your car.  What were you thinking?
You weren’t.  And it was all his fault.   
Your car skids to a screaming halt just seconds after him.  You smack the steering wheel with frustration. 
Maybe I should have just bet my body, you think to yourself, a thought that has you shivering from something other than adrenaline.  Thoughts like that are not like you.  And Lee Minho is the last man on earth you could ever want.  Even though he is simultaneously the only man you want, or at least the only one with an opinion that matters, the only man whose attention you ever want.  He is always the highlight of your night. 
Oh god, you think with a nervous twist in your gut, I like that arrogant loser. 
Facing him is hard and it has nothing to do with losing your car. 
He is not gloating because he is not the type.  He is just leaning against his vehicle with his arms crossed, watching your nerves and passion get the better of you.  He does not flinch when you get right in his face, huffing from exertion.
“Do-over,” you say.
“Absolutely not,” he replies. 
“You got in my head on purpose.” 
“I can only do that if you let me in,” he says, looking smug.
“One more race,” you insist. 
“You have nothing left to bet.”
“Me,” you blurt.  “I bet myself.” 
You feel some satisfaction at the flicker of surprise that creases his brow, but then he is just staring and blinking again.  Your heart still thinks it is in a race, stampeding so far ahead that your whole body is awash with heat. 
“You,” he finally says.  His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, then he tilts his head in that studious way. “What does that mean?” 
You feel so hot it is making you a little woozy.  It’s just aftershocks from the race, you tell yourself, even though that heat comes from somewhere much more intimate. 
You cross your arms stubbornly.  You look away.  You even stomp your foot. 
“You know what I fucking mean,” you snap. 
“Is that how you usually get out of these situations?” he asks in a teasing tone.  “By fucking your way out of them?”
You refuse to answer.  You arms are still crossed, your face still turned.   
He touches your chin, a painfully delicate touch.  Whenever you do fuck someone, it is hard and fast, like everything else you enjoy.  Your greatest rival should be touching you with the roughest touch of all, but it is the very opposite.   It is a suggestion of a touch, little more than a caress as he turns your face to his.  You swallow until the intense focus of his sharp eyes. 
“I don’t fuck like that,” he says.  He bats his pretty eyelashes while smirking like a devil.  “I don’t have to make bets.  I make love to people because they want it.  Sorry.”  He rolls his eyes and turns away, wiggling his fingers in a sarcastic good-bye wave as he slides into his driver seat.  “You can keep your car.  I don’t want or need it.  Good night.” 
You put yourself between the door and car, stopping him from closing it.  He looks at you, eyes narrowed more intensely. 
“Now, now,” he says. 
“I’m a big girl,” you snap.  “I don’t need you protecting my honour.  I wouldn’t offer to let you fuck me if I didn’t mean it.” 
He stares at you, contemplative behind those dark eyes.  He has just returned your vehicle so you have no reason to make another bet, other than to prove the veracity of your previous offer: that you do want to fuck him, even if you don’t want to admit it.
“I told you that you can keep your car,” he says. 
You are amazed smoke is not blowing out of your ears, considering how hot your face feels. 
“I heard you,” you say. 
He gets out of the car slowly, holding your gaze the entire time.  You take a step back. 
Then he walks at you, which forces you to take another backwards step.  Step by step across the tarmac.  The breeze tousles a bit of his hair, but nothing stops his stride and his eyes never leave yours. 
You find it difficult to catch your breath.  Garnering this man’s undivided attention has been your only goal for months, and the reality of it is heady.  He is intoxicating. 
It seems the feeling is reciprocated, given how he looks at you, which just makes you stumble in your backwards trek.  He catches your wrist, tugging you upright, yanking you closer.  You collide with his chest, disoriented from so little. 
“So,” he says.  “If you win, we fuck.  And if I win, we make love.  Is that correct?” 
“Whatever, there’s no difference,” you say.  You are instinctively combative when flustered, redirecting the source of your embarrassment to confrontation. 
It seemingly works.  His attention diverts and he says, “Yes, there is.”
“No, there isn’t.” 
“Yes, there—”  He stops himself from retaliating with the same childish rejoinder.  He props his hands on his hips, shaking his head at himself as he stares up at the stars.   
Eventually he huffs, rakes his teeth over his bottom lip, then looks at you. 
“Fine,” he says.  “We’ll race.” 
Your heart is already revving like an engine.  You take another couple steps back to smirk at him triumphantly.  You walk right into your car, that smug face dropping in surprise.  It gives him the opportunity to crowd you against it, planting his hands on either side of your head.  You hold your breath. 
“You have to pass my test first,” he says. 
“Excuse me!”  Your own incredulity resounds.  You smack his chest but he does not move. 
“It’s just two questions,” he says.  “You’re a smart girl.  You’ll figure it out.” 
He is tormenting you.  You hate him.  You hope he never stops. 
“Fine,” you snap.  His smirk makes your whole belly swoop with anticipation. 
“Good,” he says, then stands back. 
You hold his stare, refusing to show any weakness.  At least you can catch your breath in the space between you. 
Then he says, “Get on your knees.” 
Your legs are already shaky – from nerves, from the dwindling adrenaline of your race.  There are a lot of reasons your knees buckle.  Plenty of explanations for why you do not hesitate, sinking to your knees right there on the road. 
Your gaze drops, flustered by his demand and your response.  You look at his shoes, all black, well-worn, scuffing the tarmac as he steps towards you. 
“Now tell me,” he says, then gathers a fistful of your hair and yanks your head back.  He meets your gaze as he says, “Is this fucking or making love?”
Then his fingers are in your mouth.  You let him in without any hesitation, like your whole body is instinctively attuned to his.  His grip is firm, his fingers relentless, undoubtedly fucking your mouth with the sloppy, mean thrust you would expect from an enemy.  Still, it feels good, unbelievably so, your mouth wet and hot and his fingers sliding over your tongue, the soft suction of your lips making his eyes blaze and his throat bob as he swallows. 
When he slides out, a trail of spit connects his fingers to your lips.  Your lips quiver with a shuddering breath. 
“Well?” he says. 
You swallow, but eventually manage a weak, “Fucking.” 
“Good,” he says, grinning that wicked grin.  “That’s one out of two.  How about this one?” 
He drops to his knees.  You are face-to-face now, kneeling on the road in the dead of night.  There are no witnesses to this scene except maybe the stars, the clear night revealing all your secrets. 
His face is as open, his expression suddenly so devastatingly soft and vulnerable.   Your breath stutters before he even moves.  He cups your cheeks with both hands and draws you to him.
Your eyes close when your lips touch.  He strokes his thumbs across your cheeks and licks into your mouth with decadent slowness, like he wants to savour every second of your taste.  Your mouths move together like they were made for each other, never racing too far ahead. A perfect give-and-take. 
When he stops, you feel dizzy and bereft, but only for a second.   He cups your jaw and tilts your face just so, then his fingers are parting your tender lips and the taste of him is on your tongue once more.  Your eyes close and you moan thoughtlessly, bobbing your head to the gentle rhythm he sets. 
“This,” he says in a feathery-light voice.
You shiver as he slowly withdraws his fingers.  He wipes his thumb across your lips to clean you.  You let him cup your chin and tilt your face, this time so he can look you in the eye. 
“Tell me what we’re doing,” he says.   
The suggestion makes you throb.  You are hot and aching when you admit, “Making love.”
“Good,” he says, then pecks your lips before rolling onto the balls of his feet and shooting upright.  “Now we can race.” 
-
It is a perfect draw. 
You are both distracted.  When you slam on the brakes in the same place at the same moment, it is with a singular purpose in mind. 
Doors slam.  You meet in the space between your vehicles. 
“I won,” you say, just to be argumentative. 
He is shrugging out of his jacket.  It his the ground.  He does not break his stride, already going for his belt.  Your knees nearly buckle again. 
“Fine,” he replies.  “Then get over here.  I’m fucking you on the hood of my car.” 
Fucking you is exactly what he does.  It is not making love.  He strips you methodically, your jacket and shirt and bra.  Your jeans get shoved down past your knees and he bends you over the hood, still warm from the purring engine.  You are hot and frantic, cheek pressed to the hood of your rival’s car while he works you open and shoves himself inside you. 
You make a sharp sound then a low moan, hands plastered to the hot hood.  He fucks you like he races you, without holding anything back because he knows you can take him. 
It feels as primal as a race, the animal instinct that conquers you in a rush of adrenaline.  It is your singular focus, the steady thud of him inside you.  You do not care about appearances, about seeming ridiculous, meeting every thrust and moan with your own.  He sounds good and feels better, your bodies in harmony, chasing each other to the finish line. 
He yanks you up, your back arching as he turns your head for a kiss.  It puts you over, clenching hard around him, setting him off.  He makes a soft sound then groans with pleasure.  He stays there for a minute, both of you breathing hard.
“I want you to keep your car,” he finally speaks, “because I need you to come back tomorrow and race me again.” 
You gasp when his hand moves between your legs, working you up again, slowly but surely.   
“Because next time I’ll win,” he says.  “You sounded so good getting fucked.  I want to see your face when you come on my cock again and again from making love.”
“Won’t happen,” you say, even while your on the cusp of doing just that. 
“Mm,” he says, then laughs that light, evil laugh as you come all over his hand.  He kisses the side of your head and says, “Wanna bet?” 
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little-pondhead · 2 months
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[this is kind of a messy ramble, sorry about that]
Demon Twins AU, except Danny is loyal to the League.
The League of Assassins is a “cult” for a reason. They know what they’re doing. Ra’s has been around for a very long time; he’s seen every trick in the book and then some.
So when his daughter Talia gave him two, near-identical twin grandsons, he had already planned out their lives by the time the sun had set on their first day living. He knew the plans weren’t perfect. Nothing ever went exactly how he wanted it to. But that was the joy of being absolutely fucking ancient. Ra’s adapted better than anyone. If something went wrong, Ra’s will simply work around the issue and live to see another day.
So the boys were raised as he wished. Ruthless, with sharp blades and even sharper wit. They matched each other in every way, blow for blow. Neither won more than the other, and Ra’s encouraged the competition between the twins. Eventually, the battle for title of Heir came, and Damian won that particular match.
Danny was fine with this. Thrilled, even, for his brother to earn the title of Heir. The boys were very close, and worked well to take down targets twice their size. Ra’s approved this, and granted Danny title of Shadow. He was to be Damian’s eternal shadow, a guard. Both Talia and the boys were pleased with this.
But then came the time for the boys to learn how to live without each other. They’d gotten too used to someone guarding their back. Too complacent and too confident in their roles. Ra’s knew it would happen, and so sent Danny off at a very young age to live with some sleeper agents in America.
The Fentons.
Damian would stay here, with Talia, to learn how to be the perfect Heir. He needed to learn how to fight without the assistance of his brother.
Danny would go to Amity Park, and be fostered by the Fentons. He needed to put his skills to practical use and learn how to live without constant orders.
This was their Test.
Damian did quite well, for a while. Until Talia sent him off to his birth father, The Bat. Reports on his behavior declined in quality after that, and Ra’s couldn’t help but feel dissatisfaction with how the Heir had been corrupted.
Danny’s reports were always immaculate, however. His mask never slipped, and he’d worked himself into the hearts of the townspeople. The sleeper agents, Jack and Maddie, had a daughter who was quite enthusiastic about the properties of the mind, and accept Ra’s instructions to teach Danny with ease. It was the ideal situation.
In Ra’s eyes, Danny was thriving. Damian was not.
And then Ra’s died. The League was in shambles. Damian was at peace with his family, away from the cult he grew up in. He assumed Danny had defected years ago, since their mother stopped giving him reports about his twin.
Then Danny showed up at the Wayne’s doorstep, decked out in full League attire, angry and hostile.
“Tell me, dear brother,” he spat. “Why did you not inform me that Grandfather had died? I had to find out through his spirit when it came to visit from the afterlife!”
Damian didn’t know what to say.
#DPxDC#pondhead blurbs#just#Danny and Damian grew up in a CULT#cults have a reputation for a reason#Danny had no reason to even think about defecting throughout his entire childhood#if being loyal to his grandfather was an issue clockwork would have told him#Dan would have told him#the Fentons are part of a league faction operating out of the US#even Jazz is loyal to them and started viewing Ra’s as a grandfather figure the few times he came to visit#Danny LOVES his assassin grandpa and nobody in amity blinks an eye at him#Ra’s does know about the Fenton portal and phantom#because why wouldn’t Danny tell him?#Ra’s dies and his spirit immediately heads over to where he knows the portal is so he can get some help#ghost Ra’s: my grandson. it’s been too long.#Danny with the worst voice crack: why are you DEAD#Talia is still in hiding#or doing whatever she’s supposed to be doing idk#Danny shows up to ream Damian out and yell at him for his disloyalty#everyone is extremely worried about what Danny will do because he is very obviously still in deep with the league#he doesn’t like the talk about being ‘free’ because he was always free. tf you talking about Grayson.#also Damian doesn’t know about the full properties of the Lazarus pits or ectoplasm. he’s the Heir not the Head. that’s private stuff#Ra’s is a smug bastard using his grandson as a way to get revenge on the living#Danny is HIS shadow now.#I must stress Danny is pretty much the same as canon but literally just loyal to his grandpa Ra’s#maybe Ra’s meets clockwork? Ra’s x Clockwork?#their ship name is Sun Dial now I’ve decreed it
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hello i’m newish to tumblr so i don’t know if this is gonna be where it’s supposed to be anyways i was wondering if you could do a lando x reader
where she either is part of the small 🍒 community and is really insecure and lando reassures her that she is perfect the way she is
or
lando and reader have an argument about anything and they go to bed without sorting it but reader is like on the edge of the bed and lando pulls her in for a hug and they fall asleep and apologise in the morning
and please know you don’t have to do this i just wanted to ask since you are one of my favourite blogs 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Don't Be Such A Muppet - LN
So I'll admit, I am not part of the small boob community. I'm going to try and write it, but it's not an insecure I've ever had so if I'm not happy with what I end up writing then I'll not be uploading it as usually if I can't kind of properly put myself in the position of the reader (or get as close to possible as being in the position of the reader) then I struggle to write something I like or think is worth reading. I promise I will try, but I can't promise it will end up being uploaded.
But this is the second request. I hope you like it :D
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Y/n hates to sound ungrateful especially when she got into a relationship with Lando knowing that he'd not always have the most spare time. But recently it's felt like he'd rather spend the spare time he does have with anyone else but her.
What she didn't expect was Lando to get so defensive when she tried to talk to him about it and in turn it brought out a more hostile side towards her.
"I just said I felt like you are busy all the time when I want to do stuff together."
"So I'm supposed to just not have a life beyond work and you?" Lando scoffs making her flinch back a little and while he feels a twinge of guilt, he doesn't stop himself.
"Lando, I just...I want to spend time with my boyfriend? Why is that asking too much of you?" Y/n questions feeling an ache in her chest over this whole situation. "You are being an arsehole about this and it's so unnecessary."
"Y/n, you are around me all the time!" Lando exclaims making her clamp her teeth on the inside of her cheek, definitely cutting a little deeper than intended and it doesn't help with the growing tears. "You're always by my side and baby I love you, but I'm not going to choose spending what little time I get with my friends or doing what I want to do with my spare time over you!"
"The only time we spend time alone together is for sex or while we're asleep! I just-I want to feel like you actually want this relationship as more than just something you could find with anyone else."
"Christ, do you know how many girls would love for even just sex and sleep?"
Silence falls between them for a few beats. Passing almost painfully slowly. But eventually she speaks up after they've stared each other down.
"Right." Y/n nods then clearing her throat and straightening her posture. "I'm uhh...I'm tired, I'm just going to bed. Don't want to crowd you or impose myself on your spare time that you don't want to spend with me."
She hears Lando groan in frustration as she turns and walks out the room. Rather than heading towards the bedroom, she locks herself in the bathroom for a while.
Silently crying is embarrassing enough as it is. But hiding from her own boyfriend so he doesn't catch her crying is just the worst situation to be in. She hates it on so many levels.
But she still loves Lando and hopefully he'll calm down and realise that he could've approached the whole conversation and her attempt to have good communication with a much better attitude.
"Y/n, are you in there?" Lando asks knocking on the door.
She was really hoping to hide for a little longer, just to really depuff her eyes from crying. But she moves to the door unlocking it and coming face to face.
"Sor-I'm done. Night." Y/n starts then correcting herself from apologising to him then moving around him while he sighs heavily, clearly still very much annoyed about their argument. Also probably a little annoyed at her for being the one who appears to be handling this by not shouting and screaming back, which does make him look a little immature.
Getting into bed and pushing herself to the furthest edge just in case Lando does have the balls and audacity to try and sleep in the bed with her. She has enough knowledge of her boyfriend's personality to know that he has exactly the balls and audacity to get in this bed with her tonight.
No more than 15 minutes pass of her still silently crying before she hears him shuffling around the room and then his weight lands on the bed behind her.
"You're going to fall off the bed if you fall asleep like that." Lando states in a soft voice, clearly trying to improve his position with her since she's made it obvious that she's not very happy with him.
More silence follows before y/n shifts ever so slightly further to the edge of the bed. Only just keeping herself from completely falling over the edge.
"Stop being stupid." Lando sighs reaching to pull her back when she sniffles trying to keep her breath steady.
Y/n hates how much comfort she finds in just being held by the man, she's supposed to be upset at him and mad. But instead she just lets him hold her tightly and accepts sleep as her form of escape away from this situation.
Arguing is never at the stop of her agenda and she really hates arguing with Lando of all people because in her eyes he's the most important person in her life right now. She doesn't want the relationship to turn sour or slowly fade away, she mentioned not being at the top of his list of first choices for how to spend his spare time.
Morning comes around all too quickly, y/n is definitely feeling the weight of Lando's words last night. She is definitely feeling worth a lot less than she thought she was worth before yesterday.
Lando is still heavily asleep and wrapped tightly around her. So she pulls his arms from around her and stands up, not caring if she wakes him up. She just needs to get away from him.
"Y/n?" Lando groans, groggy as he lifts his head and she moves to get dressed. "Baby, where are you going?"
"Out, I need clear my head."
MOVE DUMBASS
Lando actually falls out the bed getting tangled in the sheets and while y/n's initial instinct is to check he's ok, she knows she needs to use his trip up as a means of getting out there faster and not being caught.
"No. No. Baby, we need to talk. Don't go out and clear your head-"
"Lando, listen to me...because you need to listen. You need to understand that-that last night hurt. A cuddle isn't going to fic is. It still stings. It hurts and I'm-I just need to think." Y/n hiccups, getting caught up in her own emotions. "I-I need to get some air and just think about everything because being-being second priority is one thing. But not even being second or third when I try to put you first."
Saying it out loud stings even more. It's made the truth sink in.
"Baby, you are my first priority. Before F1, before my friends."
"I'm not." Y/n cries too overwhelmed trying to tug herself from Lando's hand that is holding her elbow gently. "Please."
"I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry, y/n. Sorry for upsetting you. Sorry for shouting. Sorry for making you think you are worth any less than what you are worth. You are worth a million of me. I was a muppet yesterday." Lando states then sighing. "I'm just really fucking sorry and I'm going to make sure you never feel like I'm not making time for you again because I love spending time with you and you shouldn't be grateful just because we have sex. I don't even know why I said that. You deserve better."
Y/n isn't quite trying to leave as much as she was, but she's still not moved to properly look at him.
"I know it's not going to be immediately better. But please forgive me." Lando whispers not wanting to come across too aggressive.
"Ok...but you've got some serious grovelling to do...and I want an expensive gift with thought put into it." Y/n huffs trying to hide a sly smile.
"I will get you the most thoughtful expensive gift I can possibly find and I will grovel in as many ways I can think of." Lando promises then moving to kiss her a few times.
It's not going to be an immediate fix. Lando realised in the few minutes between her coldly passing him leaving the bathroom and pulling her over to himself in the bed. He was majorly at fault.
But he can't lose y/n because of his own stupidity and stubbornness. So he's going to improve himself to be someone who deserves her, not someone she has to accept lesser treatment from than what she should get from someone who claims to love her the way he does.
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sunny44 · 6 months
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Reunions on the track
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Ex best friend!reader
Warnings: fights
Summary: Charles and Y/n have known each other since they were five years old, but with the start of his motorsport career they lost touch.
Years later, when Charles was driving for Ferrari in Formula 1 and Y/n had a degree in photography, their paths crossed again when she was hired as the team's new photographer.
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I was accustomed to the Formula 1 circus.
The roar of engines, the team's hustle and bustle, cameras always pointed in his direction. But on this sunny morning, I was surprised with something or someone to be more specific. I entered the Scuderia Ferrari pitlane and that’s when I saw her, with her back turned to him, skillfully handling a camera. Y/n. Her name echoed in his mind like an echo from the past.
I assumed from the camera in her hand that she had filled the vacancy at Ferrari.
"Are you kidding me?" Charles muttered, addressing Mattia Binotto, the head of the Ferrari team. "Is Y/n here?"
Mattia smiled, as if he knew this could cause turbulence.
“Surprise, Charles. She’s our new photographer. Y/n has an incredible eye for capturing the most intense moments of the races.”
I made an effort to control the flood of emotions rising in me. Me and Y/n had been inseparable friends since childhood, but we drifted apart over time, especially when my career in motorsport took off.
We hadn't spoken in years, and now she is here, on the same team as me.
Our friendship was perfect, we had known each other forever, and I remember our mothers saying that we would definitely get married if we just got older. Over time, I realized that I had feelings for her, and I was willing to wait until we were old enough and then confess my feelings to her. But then everything changed.
I started rapidly advancing through categories, and then I just stopped talking to her.
I stood there for a few minutes just looking at her until Y/n finally turned around, and their gazes met. It wasn't a warm and joyful reunion. On the contrary, there was a moment of tense silence before Y/n broke it.
"Charles Leclerc, the Ferrari golden boy." she said, with a sarcastic smile. "Who would have thought you'd become so famous, huh?"
Charles felt his face grow warm.
“Don’t start Y/n.”
"Don't start? You just disappear from my life when you started winning races, and I'm the one who can't say anything?"
I don't know why, but I didn't think she would be this hostile.
"I was busy, Y/n. You know how life is in F1."
"Busy or not, you could have found a way to stay in touch. But, of course, you had more important things to do than to care about me." She looked at me, hurt. "But who am I to blame you, right? After all, with fame and beautiful models hanging on your neck all the time, I wouldn't mean anything to you anyway."
Those words hit Charles like a punch in the stomach. He knew he had made mistakes, but he never imagined that Y/n was so hurt.
"I'm sorry, Y/n. I should have been a better friend." She let out an exasperated sigh.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm here to do my job," she said sternly. "You just need to pretend that I mean nothing to you; I don't think it will be that difficult."
I simply nodded, realizing that the situation was far from resolved. While the engines roared in the background, indicating that I had to get into the car next.
And, of course, I spent the entire practice session thinking about how to have her back in my life.
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Bonus scene!
Yourusername instagram stories
“First day of work done”
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Y/n.jpg nstagram post
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Liked by @lando.jpg, @Scuderiaferrari, @charlesleclerc and @maxverstappen
Y/n.jpg My dream came true and I’m in Monaco photographing the formula 1 Grand Prix
This is the best weekend of my life and here’s a few photos 🏎️
F1 welcome to the f1 family
Maxverstappen nice photos
Liked by y/n.jpg
Landonorris hello there
Carlossainz welcome to the team
Y/n.jpg thank you
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animehideout · 3 months
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Your MBTI, Your Relationship With JJK Characters Part 2.
Read part 1
part 3
part 4
a/n: Currently working on the other requested mbti types, they'll be included in the coming parts ✨.
Thank you @goofbye @wakatsukikanae @zoldyi for requesting INFP, and @lostmymarblesstuff for requesting ISTP. I really really hope you like them though. 😭🫶🏻💖.
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INFP:
Choso Kamo = Fiancé
Both of you find solace in each other's arms, you don't need to vocalize your love since your energy alone is capable of conveying the love, admiration and respect you have for each other. He appreciates the idea of becoming a family and building a home together filled with familial warmth. He's also a good listener whenever you vent. You accept each other for who you truly are without faking anything. You are both authentic and genuine. You show your love through acts of service, so he enjoys cooking your cravings for you.
Toji Fushiguro = Enemy
You have no respect for people who lack empathy or compassion, and Toji is one of them. He's vile, hostile and manipulative. He is the complete opposite of you. You have a strong sense of justice, fairness and sensitivity so Toji's actions trigger a strong negative reaction out of you. He is a threat to your values and peace, so you can't help but develop an enmity. He sees you weak for including your emotions so he always tries to change you into his liking or simply provoke you.
Toge Inumaki = Bestfriend
Most of your Hangouts are at home where you sit comfortably enjoying the peaceful quietness. You understand each other's emotions and troubles. He provides a safe space for you to express yourself, he takes your feelings into account and never judges you. He enjoys sitting comfortably while you talk about your dreams and thoughts. You inspire him a lot and he appreciates that you trust him enough to share personal things with him. He makes you feel that it's okay to be different as long as you are true to yourself.
Megumi Fushiguro = roommate.
You respect each other's personal space and that what made you good roommates, living under the same roof peacefully without any obstacles. At first you found difficulty to get into conversations or just hang out together at home; given that both of you are introverts. So you just limited yourself to small chats, but you grew to enjoy each other's presence and chill together. Both of you share similar standards for cleanliness so you divide tasks to keep your shared space tidy. Despite growing closer and more comfortable, the boundaries that both of you had set are still sacred. It is easy to live with Megumi.
ISTP
Toji Fushiguro= Husband.
The powerful duo, a thrill-seekers. Toji is the perfect match for you. You have mutual qualities such as using the power of mind, pursuing financial success and enjoying the spontaneous adventures. You have a healthy marriage life, following a pragmatic and rational approach. He is attracted to your determination and mindset, even after being married for too long he still looks at you with the same admiration and love he has for you since the first time he had laid eyes on you. Flirts a lot with you and drowns you in compliments. Your honeymoon was a thrilling and exciting experience literally risking your lives but you enjoyed every bit of it. You are attracted to his straightforwardness and cleverness also to his teasing and playful side. At some levels he doesn't take life too seriously but instead he faces it with humor and mockery. He is the perfect husband for you.
Yuta Okkotsu = Has a crush on you.
He would find himself uncontrollably attracted and drawn to you. The way you reasonably handle things, issues and conflicts impresses him. He also admires your independence and self-sufficiency, you are mentally strong and intelligent. And despite being introvert and reserved he would be surprised by how quick you can adapt to different situations and how you enjoy the thrill of new experiences and adventures. It leaves him blown away and intrigued by you and without hesitation he would develop a powerful crush.
Nanami Kento = Colleague.
You equally share a mutual respect for each other's skills. Both of you hate working overtime so most of the time you blend your competences to get done early with the work. You have a formal and professional kind of relationship which is task-oriented. Your emotions are put aside while working together. What matters is that you succeed in reaching your goals or solve problems. You are an effective team and can work in harmony.
Maki Zenin = Bestfriend.
You feel comfortable enough around Maki to enjoy engaging with various activities with her. Most of the time you train together. Maki has a strategic planning so she always comes up with interesting plans for both of you to enjoy, on the other hand you are a spontaneous person, so you make life more fun and full of surprises. You make each other even more stronger; both emotionally and physically. You keep each other stable and on track, focusing on your goals. Both of you are independent so you only provide emotional support, words of encouragement and comfort.
This piece of writing is just for fun, also it is imo, so it's not necessarily accurate 🫶🏻
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thefloralmenace · 2 months
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There are so many arguments out there that need to just be shut down with "that's not how people behave."
Everyone gets so bound up in shoulds and shouldn'ts when sometimes it comes down to "Regardless of what people should do, that's not what they're going to do." And then shit doesn't go anywhere because people refuse to deal with the practicality of the situation.
Like I try to live zero-waste, and yeah, for the sake of the planet, people should try to reduce their waste, but even if you could get all your basic needs in waste-free packaging, there's still going to be little things you want even though you shouldn't buy them because the packaging isn't ecofriendly. And you know what? People are going to give in and buy those things every once in awhile if not all the time because people aren't perfect, and the brain is reward driven, so if the ice cream with the unrecyclable cheap plastic push-up bit is what the brain is craving, every so often, people are going to give in. But people get so bound up in shitting on each other for these perceived moral failings ("You really chose this ice cream cone over the Earth???") that we lose sight of things like "Perhaps we should legislate that products containing single-use plastics like the plastic push-up in this ice cream need to be made of bioplastics or another completely compostable material."
There are other examples of this that get politically nastier, ex: I don't believe people should have to engage in tone-policing in order to get people to listen to their issues and struggles, but I am also acutely aware that if I'm angry about someone's response to my advocating for a certain social issue, if I go into the comments all fire and fury at them, the great likelihood is that my reaction will just feed into their pre-existing bias that "people who advocate for ____ belief are crazy, mean, and uncompromising," and then they'll feel justified in shutting out everything I have to say just because I was mean to them. People should be able to accept and process a good point made to them in an unfriendly manner, but the reality is that there are a lot of people out there who are what I call "immature but not unsalvagable," i.e. If I'm hostile in my comments to them, they don't have the maturity/self-awareness to be like "Man, I should think about how what I said could have provoked this response in another person," but if I do take on the irritating and painstaking task of holding their hand through an explanation of the issue, they are capable of seeing my point and learning from it. Should I have to do that? No. But if I don't, will those people learn? Probably not. Are they inherently terrible human beings because of this? No, they're just not mature, but they still vote and make other decisions that affect me, so 🤷‍♀���I put in the effort to try to educate them in ways they can accept because if what I care about is results, it doesn't matter that I shouldn't have to take that approach.
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theambitiouswoman · 1 year
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Traits Happy People Don't Embody
Happy people tend to exhibit positive traits and behaviors that contribute to their overall sense of well-being and satisfaction with life. Behaviors that contribute to their own happiness as well as the happiness of those around them. Ways happy people do not act:
Aggressiveness: Happy people tend to be more relaxed and peaceful in their interactions with others. They don't feel the need to assert their dominance or control in social situations.
Rudeness: Happy people tend to be respectful and considerate of others. They don't belittle or insult others to make themselves feel better.
Negativity: Happy people tend to focus on the positive aspects of life and look for the good in situations. They don't dwell on negative thoughts or feelings.
Selfishness: Happy people tend to be generous and compassionate towards others. They don't prioritize their own needs and desires at the expense of others.
Hostility: Happy people tend to be open and welcoming towards others. They don't feel threatened or defensive in social situations.
Envy: Happy people tend to be content with what they have and appreciate the successes of others. They don't feel jealous or envious of others' achievements or possessions.
Perfectionism: Happy people tend to have realistic expectations of themselves and others. They don't strive for unattainable perfection or constantly criticize themselves or others for not meeting impossibly high standards.
Pessimism: Happy people tend to be optimistic and hopeful about the future. They don't dwell on negative outcomes or anticipate the worst possible scenarios.
Impulsivity: Happy people tend to make thoughtful and deliberate decisions. They don't act impulsively or make rash decisions that may have negative consequences.
Arrogance: Happy people tend to be humble and grateful for what they have. They don't feel entitled or superior to others based on their accomplishments or status.
Defensiveness: When someone is defensive, they may feel threatened or attacked, which can lead to them being guarded or closed off in social situations. This can make it difficult for them to form meaningful connections with others and can lead to feelings of isolation or loneliness. Happy people tend to be more open and accepting of others, which allows them to form strong bonds and cultivate positive relationships.
Sabotage: Sabotaging others is a negative behavior that can cause harm to others and damage relationships. Happy people tend to be supportive and encouraging of others, which helps them build strong, positive relationships based on trust and mutual respect.
Jealousy: Jealousy is a negative emotion that can lead to feelings of resentment, anger, and bitterness. Happy people tend to be content with their own lives and accomplishments, which allows them to appreciate the success of others without feeling envious or resentful.
If you find yourself feeling these emotions, stop, and try to uncover the root before you choose to immediately act on it. By understanding positive and negative feelings, we can not only become better individuals; we can also gain more of an understanding of ourselves and others.
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lillysilvermoon · 1 year
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Which Feminine Energy do you have?
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Pile 1
You are in the light feminine spectrum, you have a very gentile, loving and nurturing energy, but it's actually well balanced!! You see, we have both feminine and masculine energy, and both of yours are in the light feminine. This means even when you have to be more rational or do some job or be put in a situation where you need to be in you Yang side, your femininity still shines. You are very connected with your emotions, intuition and spiritual side. You can be someone very sensitive depending what happens maybe you can have the need to walk away and never comeback mood, when you are putted in a place with too much hostility you probably have a hard time standing up for your self, since you are well balanced you would try to find a common ground to get through the work without engaging in any kind of competition. In the other hand, when you get attached or harassed by others you can - and will - indeed defend your beliefs, because your feminine and masculine are balanced you would be defensive, assertive and determined not to just defend what you believe and care for but to pursue your dreams and goals. I just heard "fiercely kind". You have this ability, some can even envy it, to defend what you believe with a lot of classy and calmness. Some of you probably like arts, like painting, drawing, playing instruments (and you don't have to be perfect or super good, you just enjoy it, like some hobby of y'all). You have a innocent look and charming vibes, and a very diplomatic personality. Most of you probably are The Mediator of the group and have a very child like personality
Y'all also attract a lot of sexual attention especially from men but most of you are shy and need someone who makes you feel safe to let your spontaneous side appear.
Since you are well balanced you probably have a dreamy looks - and can be a day dreamer sometimes - you are very warm and grounding, you are not afraid of be vulnerable and this authenticity together with your vulnerability makes other lower their guards. You do no game, you a very emotional available person.
Signs: full moon, water signs (scorpio, pisces and cancer), virgo, air and fire placements are important, 5, 555, 222, 5555
Pile 2
It's 222 right now lmao maybe it's a important angel number for someone here BUT let's get into your reading, shall we?
Well, your feminine energy is very free, one of your cards was 2 of Wands and the world, definitely a free spirit. You like to travel over the sea, see new places and meet new people, very extroverted energy. You know I just thought about the Gamine archetype, and there is this phrase of Princess Diana "I don't go by the rule book... I leas from the heart not head", isn't that you don't respect legal rules or anything, but you have a certainly disregard for protocol and social rules or what people call "socially acceptable", you do what you want just following your heart, just heard the phrase from Pocahontas "she goes wherever the wind takes her". Your feminine energy is very free, you do what you think is correctly regards if others approve or not. You probably will manage to have some youthful charm even with adulthood. You captivate others by your sense of humor. You have an unselfconscious sensual side and lightness that enthralls. You are receptive, compassionate and simply free.
Signs: fire signs (Leo, aries and sagittarius), cancer, financial problems, travel, 2222, 333, 444, 222, travels, ocean.
Pile 3
I don't even finished shuffling the cards and just heard "boss b*itch" and "don't take sh*it from anyone" guess we have our boss girl pile🤣. Okay I finished shuffling the cards and also heard "charming personality" and "luxurious" soooooo let's get started I'm excited. First you clearly have very strong personality, you stand up for yourself and speak your truth, you definitely don't like injustice and you fight for what's right, you definitely are in the Boss archetype (but I will talk about this later). You like to experience life, trade over seas, and probably would get involved in long distance relationships or holidays romances. Mix of beauty and brains, but with a touch of hearts, because you have a very emotional and romantic side, but is not everyone here ( actually for this Pile I think it's a VERY small group). You have a very confident aura, you like to move and planning forward to see your hard work paying off.
When a successful man meets you is like perfect match. Y'all are SO GIRL BOSS I CAN'T- really, most of you strive for success and power, your work and knowledge are very important to you, very goal oriented and honestly? You don't really need anyone, very independent, so when a man senses this, that you don't fundamentally needs him, you will ignite his instincts to chase and conquer (I'm SMILING here y'all are so damn good at this, please share your tips with us 🤣🤣). But you know what is funny? You probably thrive well in Male environments, most likely enjoy conversations about business or political stuff, but you have a very emotional side, you deal with your emotions in a very private away and don't like to share with others. But with the people you trust, you can be very sweet and sensitive. Besides, you a very romantic side. I just saw a imagine in my minds eye of a woman laying on her (very fancy) sofa in a living room (y'all know this kind of minimalist rich decoration? It's like this) reading a romance.
You also have a very luxurious personality, you like fancy stuff and care a lot about your appearance.
Signs: libra, Taurus, 1, pearl necklace, tiffany's, 1111, 66, 33, 5.
Pile 4
Like pile 1 you a very light feminine side, but while pile 1 is well balanced you let your heart rule over your heart (this means you have very feminine energy but are imbalanced) but let's see. You probably have been given too much without receive nothing in return. Maybe you feel overly sensitive, needy and emotionally exhausted. BUT, you are more than capable of overcome this, you see, since you are very connected with your heart and have a very kind, compassionate nature, it's easier for you to fall of track, but you have a courageous heart, you are not afraid of moving on of people or situations and do the work to progress, you also may like to travel and have a tendency to holiday romance like our friend 3. You have a tendency to go inwards and do self reflection (which helps you back to balance with your femininity). You have a very nurturing, maternal and kind nature, some kind of unaffected charm you know? It's the simple things, the sparkle in your eyes, the away you move your hands or your voice that makes others fall for you.
Signs: new moon, Taurus and libra placements are important, 555, 33333, 444.
Here it is♡ I hope y'all liked, I had SO MUCH fun doing this reading and hope you enjoy it. See you soon, lots of love.
- Lia
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twistedbloodstain · 1 year
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vincent de gramont x assistant!reader: to be loved is to be changed. | a glimpse of the world working for the marquis
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plot: the one where you are marquis de gramont's personal assistant.
warnings: boss-assistant relationship/dynamic, power imbalance, rich people, staring
masterlist
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you are the marquis’ personal assistant. you attend to his every whim and serve it with utmost perfection. naturally, he recognizes that he can trust and rely on you for certain tasks and he appreciates that in his own little way.
why do you do this? for starters, money. he’s loaded in more than ways you can comprehend. from private opera shows to exquisite fine dishes the depth of his pocket never seems to end. second, there are certain privileges you attain working for him. you are able to enjoy financial security and safety in your life.
although you don’t really seem to enjoy those privileges since your work is almost 24/7 with the marquis, there is no end. but, you don’t really mind. you don’t have anyone waiting for you at home however certain family members are tucked away in safety considering the hostile environment around your job.
the marquis trusts you, not in a way he trusts his guards. he expects you to keep everything organized while he has his plate full of problems that require fixing. he expects you to keep everything in place such as his financial situations and arrange important appointments also including to manage the staff of servants in his home.
almost your entire life revolves around him. if not for the occasional day off you’re given, you might as well be glued to his side everyday. your professional relationship with the marquis is normal, at least it’s what you expect between a boss and his assistant. he instructs and you follow, he walks and you are his shadow.
you feel like he trusts you but at the same time he doesn’t. the first time you met him, you were intimidated. he radiated raw power and ruthlessness, even if you’ve never seen it happen yet. when you began working for him, you could feel his eyes on you. you often didn’t look up, afraid that he might take that as an insult to his pride.
the both of you were sat into another lavish car to the prestigious Louvre Museum, again. you rarely accompanied him on his trips since he preferred to arrive ahead and liked to travel alone. this case turned out to be an exception since the marquis were there for business and pleasure.
you are one seat apart from him, respecting his personal space and because even if you’ve been working for him for a few months you’re still scared at him. what he’s doing right now seems to fuel that fear even more.
you’re jotting down notes from his previous meeting with an underworld drug lord, noting down the instructions and preparations he told you to carry out, you’re not sure but you can feel a pair of eyes on you. you’re too nervous to look up.
“fuck is he staring at me?” you curse to yourself.
you begin to wonder what in the world you’ve done wrong to him, because his gaze (that you aren’t sure is on you) probably is something along the lines of judgemental, and if you’ve done something to offend him…you’re not quite sure what to do for his chastisement. you stop your movements for a moment, your frame petrified in dilemma.
you remember the first time you’d made a grave mistake at work. you accidentally assigned a meeting in the morning to the afternoon. you hadn’t realized you wrote the wrong time for the Rossi Family. the repercussions you faced for that mistake weren’t severe but his verbal lashings were somewhat hard to forget. he had called you insolent and foolish for ruining the flow of his day and he considered firing you on the spot. you cried yourself to sleep that night, afraid that more might come after that seeing that the marquis doesn’t forgive easily. he was calculatedly cruel to his enemies. you wish you’d never be on the receiving end of it, because of that you swore it would never happen again and you’d deliver nothing but perfection.
you give yourself the courage to look up, “he’s probably not looking at me, what’s the worse he could do? i mean he could slowly probably tear me limb by limb but would he actually do that because i dared to look up at him?? god i hate rich people sometimes-“ you assure yourself and when your head slowly rises. you see him.
he was looking at you. his blue eyes emitting coldness and emptiness, his frame slightly relaxed on his seat with one leg thrown over the other. as usual he’s dressed to his best, an expensive suit with detailed patterns. that sometimes awes you with the amount of detail but right now you weren’t focused on that.
he didn't seem to be shocked or embarrassed of what he was doing, he didn’t bother to look away “why would he?” he holds your stare with an unwavering intimidation.
you freeze, like a deer in headlights. afraid to make a move or speak a word but you don’t break eye contact with him. you can feel your hands shaking and you hold your breath. his gaze feels like a challenge and a threat, a challenge not to look away, hold his gaze and hold still. don’t you dare look away. you’re afraid but you can’t look away, afraid of what he might do, what he might sa-
he finally looks away, you caught a glimpse of boredom as he looked away to face the window. suddenly finding it more interesting than his assistant. you feel slightly relieved that the mild encounter was over, you just gotta suffer a few more minutes of being stuck in a car with him.
you don’t ask about it. why he stares, he continually does that for the upcoming months but it lessens more and more as two years pass by. you label it just as him reading his assistant, making sure that he didn’t make a mistake in hiring you, that you are as competitive as you say you are.
two years after you’re hired you can say that’s the only thing that developed between you and your boss. you don’t share after work drinks since the work seems to be never ending and the both of you might have tastes that differ from one another. there’s not much friendliness but there’s no hostility. no greetings whenever there’s a special occasion in your life aside from the expected greeting when you meet him. he holds no position in your personal life.
both of you are just professional, everything you do for him is not arbitrary but either something you think the marquis might appreciate or something the marquis instructed himself. he “does” the same for you, there’s nothing personal in between. but..that’s until..
you did something that you never thought you would do for someone, much less for the marquis. things start to change after that, it starts to change him. it doesn’t happen until..
until…you take a bullet for him, until you take something that’s meant for him.
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author’s note: *slaps hands* we’re just getting started. MWAHAHAHA, feel free to comment and reblog! i’m interested to what ya’ll have to say. :’)
part two part three part four part five
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angelstate · 1 year
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Why do you hide?
Peter parker x fem!reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Happy Ending! :)
Warnings: explicit trauma, low self-esteem, panic attack.
summary: being introverted usually made you end up alone in most things, people nowadays didn't put effort into relationships to actually stick around and get to know who you are. Everyone except Peter parker.
words: 2.9k!
this is my first ever post here so i'm sorry if is not really good. i hope you enjoy it!
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it was normal by now, people ignoring your existence in the hallways, bumping into you and never stopping to say sorry. Still, it couldn't be described as bullying, nobody directly picked on you, called you names or made awful comments about how you looked. they just made no effort in pretending they weren't annoyed by your existence in the busy hallways.
even though you were an introverted, not even once in your life you acted as hostile as all the other kids were. what kind of people had been raising them that saying sorry was a punishment and not a common manner? It was ridiculous at some points.
For example, why wouldn't Jessica Williams say sorry when she accidentally hit you with her backpack the last Monday? you could never forgive yourself if you were the one to hit somebody on accident and didn't acknowledge the incident and apologies.
for children it's ok if they are embarrassed to say sorry or admit their mistakes since they are still learning manners but for a 16 year old girl to not be able to say sorry was worrying.
of course not all people in highschool were this dense and unfriendly but the once that were actually nice already had a lot of friends and it felt disrespectful to just go in the friend circle and demand to be accepted and befriended. it even felt selfish to want friends at all, even fake ones.
you parents always reminded you that most people present themselves with a fake persona so you should never trust them until they really star behaving in a realistic way and if people around you didn't felt inclined to acknowledge your existence that screamed a lot of who you are as a person.
and thanks to your situation at school it felt real your parents words. nobody was interested in the slightest about who you are so there was no point in trying to be friends with anybody.
then, Peter Parker came around and all the progress you had done into accepting that nobody wanted you around went to waste in a matter or days.
finally, after manifesting to the universe for someone to enter in your life and be able to understand your pain and why you were the way you are, peter showed up. with his super intelligence, dorky star wars t-shirts, pretty face, and awkward but charming personalty to crumble everything you knew about people because he was so nice.
actually, not just nice. he was warm like a ray of sunshine in spring, so calming and cozy that you feel like melting everytime he talks, every word he says just feels like one good secret that only the both of us knows or a promise that will last for eternity, there is no in between when it comes to peter parker.
everything about him was perfect but....you weren't.
you didn't have super intelligence, didn't like you apparrence even though you always made the effort to look good, and definitely weren't charming like him.
you are soft-spoken, introverted, shy and more simple in the way you expressed yourself.
you have to many layers, a thousand walls that try to protect the real you from getting hurt again by fake people who just wanted the benefits of being your friend, and it's ok. you need that safety but at the same time you only end up further isolating yourself and losing opportunities to grow because you prefer the comfort of being alone over the possibility of being a better version of yourself in a community.
_____________________
it had become a routine, stand in front of your locker and looking for what you needed for the next class and peter parker appearing next to you, ready to try and engage in some sort of conversation that you were always unprepared for.
"you know the movie Titanic?" he asked.
" yeah, i like that movie"
"i was reading the other day that almost all the love story is made up" he tilted his head to get a better look at your face.
you frowned.
"oh, that's...sad. i always thought it was a real love story of one of the survivors of the Titanic" you sighed.
"me too! whoever wrote that story is a genius." he laughed a little and took the books you pulled out of your locker from your hands
you closed the locker softly and turned your body to face peter completely, taking your books from him and smiling.
"it's a pretty good love story but i don't think is my favorite" you admitted.
Titanic is a good movie and the love story is great but not the type you prefer. 'Me Before You' that is the type of love story that absolutely captures your heart. it didn't have the happy ending you prayed for the entire movie and absolutely crushed your heart that Sam didn't changed his mind but it also added a cruel human aspect that made your heart feel warm.
"Titanic is great!" Peter argued
"i agree but there are better movies out there" you argued back
"like which one?" He questioned
"Me before You is great" you responded
"i haven't watched it" peter frowned and crossed his arms.
"you should, it's amazing." you smiled once again and began walking towards your next class, peter followed you immediately since it was one of the classes you shared. Algebra.
"we could watch it together, i mean if you want to watch it with me, you don't have to i just wanted to know if you'd like to watch it with me" he stuttered and panicked slightly.
"i would love to, we could watch it tomorrow"
"yeah, that would be great" peter answered quickly.
you already knew where peter lived, this was going to be good, right?
_____________________
yeah....it was too god to be true.
those were the words that kept repeating in your mind and were the same words your mom said when she reacted to the news of you finally beginning to be friends with someone that was actually a good person.
"it's too good to be true, kid" your mother spoke without even looking at you, too busy preparing herself something to eat. the smell of alcohol still lingering in her skin and hair. you doubt a shower wold be able to get rid of it, it was her signature smell after all, even if she didn't want to admit it.
"peter is my friend, mom." you explained with desperation in your voice, wanting your mother feel happy for you once in her life. it was so hard to prove her that your social life wasn't all tragic but also good and promising thanks to peter.
"you sure? I don't want to come to me crying if he turns out to be like Sarah"
...
you froze in your spot, your mom was aware of how much you have avoided the topic of Sarah. How she created a new world of pain just for you to suffer when she pretend to be your friend because how much of a people pleaser you are. that's why she didn't felt the need to question your motives when you beg to go to a different high school.
nobody in your family knew the things Sarah manipulated you into doing, of course your mom was aware Sarah was a trouble maker, that was what she was so known for, what she didn't know is the trouble she forced on you.
smoking was bad, drinking too but that didn't compare to all the 'rituals' and 'tests' she made you do to prove loyalty to her. To prove that if she ever got caught doing something bad you would have her back and lie her wait out of the situation.
it would be an understatement to say that you were naive, the second your mother knew about the things sarah did to you she didn't hesitate to call you all names existing for stupid and that memory never went away.
finally after almost 2 minutes of silence you spoke again, voice trembling and out of breath.
"he isn't like Sarah, he is like me"
"that's worse."
that's worse? i am worse?
"how is that worse? I'm a good kid"
you mom laughed hard, and for the first time looked at you. it was evident in her eyes how she wasn't taking you seriously in the slightest, it was so clear she didn't gave a fuck about this that it was painful to watch her enjoy your pain so much. she was so joyed about mocking you and the one optimistic thought you had in months that she couldn't contain her excitement in shutting it down immediately
"a good kid? if anything your a pain in my ass. If that kid is as stupid as you are then god helps his family because i certainly need gods help when dealing with your dumbass"
how cruel of her to speak like that about you, the kid how always kept quiet, that did everything she was asked for even if it wasn't convenient for you to do so. the one that made sure she passed out in her bed instead of the floor every time she drank too much.
she was mean and bitter about your existence when she should be joyed about your upbringing. the worst mother.
"you don't have to be so mean" you whimpered, the knot that began to form in your throat made it hard to breath and the tears that were leaving your eyes so softly began to feel overwhelming, just like your sweater and pants. It felt like you were overflowing with so much emotions of distress that your body was trying to escape from itself.
without waiting for her answer you went to your room and locked the door, everything felt so suffocating. Your clothes all of a sudden felt tight and uncomfortable, but your hands began shaking too much to be able to take any piece of clothing off and the open window didn't seem to let enter any air inside the room.
This was a nightmare in real life.
The panic attack was ripping you apart and all you could do was to sit in the hard wood floor and sob uncontrollably and feel the way your heart seem to be going even faster every passing second.
but someone saw you and got worried about you.
_____________________
a few days later
how could you face him? how even dare you face him after everything that happened with your mom? Obviously peter didn't know what happened but the incident was in your mind and it had infested every corner of it. it was impossible to ignore the fresh memory or get out of the state of shame you were on.
After laying awake all this nights you came to the 'realization' that whatever you had going on with Peter wouldn't work.
He isn't like you and you made a mistake saying he was to your mom. He is so much more, so much better that saying that you were like him felt like one of the worsts sins you ever committed.
Once again, how dare you come close to a good person just because you were lonely? you didn't want to go close ever again or face him in any kind of way, not even with pictures.
so you did what any coward would do, you began hiding.
at first it was easy, just keep every book you need in your backpack so you never need to go to your locker. But then your back started to hurt, a lot.
So you created another plan, hide in the bathroom and wait till its almost time for your classes run to your locker and arrive late to class, at least the ones you didn't have with Peter.
In those you had to get more creative, you started to use a big scarf that covered almost half of your face and using big hoodies to hide the rest of your face, since it was winter the outfit was according and almost all the other girls were doing the same things.
it didn't hide you completely but that was the best you could do to at least hide a little bit. it felt pathetic most of the time but the shame kept you from stopping.
peter wasn't an idiot though. he noticed, first when you didn't showed up at his house to watch the movie and later on that night when he watched you have a panic attack in your room when we went to check up on you as Spiderman.
he knew something must have happened and was planning on speaking with you about it the next day but you didn't went to school for days and when you finally appeared you didn't give any opportunity for peter to talk to you
it was like you had turned into a ghost, peter rarely saw you in the hallways and you always seem to arrive to your shared classes with everybody else to hide your silhouette from him.
but one day you didn't hide good enough...
_____________________
you were in the library almost nobody came here in lunch so it was the perfect hiding place, you were reading one of the harry potter books that the librarian had in her desk and kindly let you borrow.
being a fan of the books you directly began to read in one after sitting in one of the tables that were hide by bookshelf's it was so peaceful, too peaceful to be exact and you didn't realize until it was too late.
until peter parker was already standing in front of you, at the other side of the table looking at you with mixed emotions and a blank expression.
"here have you been?" he questioned you the moment you looked at him. his tone was harsh but also full of pain
"here." you answered softly, it was barely a whisper but peter heard you loud and clear.
"i don't mean today, i'm talking about this week. where have you been?" he questioned you again this time in a softer tone.
"at school, i've been busy with stuff" you broke eye contact and looked at the table in shame.
"but you haven't gone to you locker at any point"
"i have"
"when."
"after the bell rings" you admitted.
"why? i mean you'd end up being late to class if you do that"
"i know"
"what happened? did i made you mad or something? if i did i'm sorry i swear it wan't my intention and i'd like to make up for it." he spoke i desperation, the same way you did to your mother and that made your heart clench in pain.
"you didn't do anything wrong, peter" you sighed and covered you face with your hands in stress
"then why do you hide?
shame. you wanted to scream but something inside of you just wouldn't let you speak, it was everything too embarrassing, the fight with your mom, your obvious attempts into avoiding peter, getting caught by him and being confronted about it.
taking a deep breath, you uncovered your face and looked at peter with your best 'sorry' face and just explained your thoughts to him the best you could.
"i just...i don't think you and me are compatible. you're a genius and a just amazing in general and i'm well me. your out of my league in so many way that i can't understand why do you even talk to me half of the time. i don't know even half the things you do and even when i do know some of them, you have much more knowledge about it so you have no logical reason to be close with some one so stupid like me"
"that not true"
" it is, peter. and it's not even abut you being intelligent. it's about me not being it; not being any good to you or anyone in general. i am dumb, stupid, idiotic and foolish. i am empty. not even my interest are interesting enough and the worst thing is that can't never find it in me to just try and be more likeable "
"you are likeable, i like you. that's why i'm always talking to you and around you every chance i have"
you looked at him wide eyed and watch as he processed what he said. his expression filled with panic and before he could even explain himself you were already speaking
"do you mean it?"
"what..well i mean, you know i...uhm i guess what i'm trying to say is that....yeah i mean it but you don't have to feel the same i mean i totally get why you would not want to be with me is just... let's pretend this never happened"
"i like you too" you spoke softly and felt your face blush profusely. this felt like a dream, peter parker could not be in love with you. is too good to be true. everything with him felt too good to be true.
"you do?" peter said with a hopeful tone, his eyes are shinning with adoration and relief from not being rejected by the girl he loved so deeply
"i do"
he basically rushed to your side, picked you up and kissed you with passion and love that it took everything in you to separate yourself when you ran out of breath.
peter parker loved you, there was no point in hide yourself anymore. and if he was too good to be true then it was meant to mae you just as great being by his side.
"i love you" you both whispered at the same time.
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lucysarah-c · 1 year
Text
Stoppers
Summary: Levi feels overwhelming jealous and decides that nothing better to set things clear of who owns who than a good old fucking
WARNINGS: SMUT, HEAVILY EXPLICIT CONTEXT. Levi x reader. Dubious concent, Degradation, spitting, oral sex, oral male sex, harsh sex, vaginal sex. Top Levi. Sub Yn. UNSAFE SEX, don't be silly guys wear condoms not like Levi here. Desk sex. Canon universe. Dirty talk. Smut. Praise kink. Possessive behaviour. Possessive sex. Rough sex. Breeding kink.
Context: Y/n and Erwin used to flirt but it never reached far. They broke up before anything happened. Y/n and Levi began to have a relationship, Levi was her first. Levi get overwhelmingly jealouse. THIS takes place before Erwin becomes a commander or Levi a captain BUT, after the events of ACWNR.
I wrote this to practise smut for my main multichapter Levi fic, this my 4th smut so be nice lol. I'm self concious of my smuts so... practice makes perfect. This could be consider an spin off from my fanfic Holy Ground.
Thats it... in case I forget any warning or tag, feel free to tell me.
She was so happy, the way she jiggled and did a little dance in her place during lunch. The smile from one ear to another, it was absurdly big for her face. Levi just admired from the other side of the table, the glass (that was actually made of wood) of water close to his lips and he couldn’t help to smile a little bit. If she was happy then he was too, it was as simple as that.
“I’m going to be in charge, I’m going to be in charge” She repeated almost mockingly but also cheeky, as if it was a little kid showing off their win.
“The commander will still be around, don’t forget that,” Hange reassured the girl, who was getting ahead of herself, with it. The brunette was smiling tired as if they were the mother who succumb to the idea and wasn’t getting as much credit as they should “I agreed to Erwin to this, don’t forget that either”
“Yes Yes! Thank you!” The girl hastily agreed.
“She’s not listening to me,” Hange said while chuckling bitterly.
“She’s definitely not listening to you,” Levi agreed with them.
Y/N squealed again, gritting her teeth as the emotion was too much to handle. Erwin was leaving for a week to the capital and he had just announced to her that she could fill his work during his absence. Not that he was letting her do any actual leading work but more like not letting his paperwork accumulate and make sure everybody delivered their part on time.
Those were the crumbs of Erwin’s job, even when he wasn’t officially the commander yet and Shadis was still around, but it was the biggest official responsibility the girl was getting tastes off and she was enjoying it as there was no idea. It was a high state to be in, not only for the responsibility but also for the relief. Not only hers but everyone else. ‘War is over’
It was a shared alleviation, with both of them on good terms. The trench war that had fallen upon everybody during winter had been lifted. ‘They are in good terms, not a couple but good terms and that’s what it matter,’
They were over, both. Y/N was secretly dating Levi but it was like a whispered fact. They didn’t give any sort of hint that they could be together but people could feel it, or at least those who wanted to believe it. Erwin on the other hand was playing the mature party, the ‘we are comrades of many years and also friends, let's keep the friendship’.
Then, once the not hostile interactions began again people were quick to question him ‘Are you two back together?’  and the answer was always ‘We had always been friends, that’s what we are,’
Levi wondered if it hurted the blond, at the beginning it was obvious but time heals everything… right?
That was another hard edge of the polygon that this situation was. Levi and Erwin had been setting the base of a good comrades and friendship relationship. What was an enmity when the short man came to the scouts, became a mutual respect and, then it evolved to both starting to get along. What felt a disinterest of the blond’s romantic situation with his actual girlfriend become a ‘I’m fucking his ex behind his back’.
Not that Levi regretted it but he wasn’t used to that, playing those sort of games and the guiltiness of not being the mature party to set things clear made him grim uneasy. ‘I own him an explanation’
“Should I pay for the cleaning service or the first time is free?” Erwin questioned, entertained, as Levi, who came to deliver some papers, got overwhelmed with the state of the office and began to clean on pure will.
“How the fuck can you work in the state this place is in? When was the last time you brushed the fucking dust from this shelfs?” Levi, who was already in a whole rampage of cleaning duties, complained.
“I’m doing my job, Shadis’ job and trying to make sure the scouts aren’t erased from the military… I’ve not had time recently to keep the space tidy,” Erwin excused himself while he went back to work on his desk.
From his peripheral view, he could see the agile and tiny shadow of Levi moving around the office, murmuring to himself and clicking his tongue like a mother who says ‘nobody helps me in this house?! what are you going to do the day I am no longer here?’
“This is not the first time you have this shitty load of work, I’ve never seen your office this fucking pigsty,” Levi lectured again and as soon as he said it, he regret it.
“Well… mh,” Erwin doubtful tried to find the politically correct and ambiguous answer “Someone else took care of it before,”
They both knew the reality to that. Levi didn’t insist because he was one of the reasons that person wasn’t doing these duties anymore. The blond also joined in the mood. This time, silently, Levi kept carrying on his previous activities. Without an actual team to lead and had finished training cadets in the morning, his afternoons were quiet and relaxed.
“If you don’t want me to mess up your stuff, say it now beforeI lose my boundaries,” The shorter man clarified as he had finished tidying up the place.
Only the office was suffering the rampage of his obsessive behavior but the attached bathroom and bedroom felt off limits. The future captain wanted to respect those boundaries. 
“Erwin,” He insisted.
“Sorry, what?” The blond raised his attention from the papers to look at the other man then, as he processed the words , he replied “Oh yeah, please, feel free.”
“You sure? even the room and the bathroom?”
“I’ll clean every corner…” he insisted.
“You’ll make me a huge favour,”
Erwin chuckled a bit dry “I don’t know what you think I hide in my personal chambers but yeah, go ahead,”
Those words kept resonating in Levi’s head. His pale fingers folded the laundry and then found a place for them in the wardrobe. Between the tide of uniforms, bluish and purplish pieces of clothes there was a striking colour at the back of it. Levi, who was kneeled on the ground to tidy up the bottom of the closet, didn’t give credit to his own eyes.
Behind boxes that probably had special occasion outfits that were worth keeping separated from the rest. Behind the couple pairs of spare training boots, behind some perfumes, behind some tightly squeezed sweaters that he wasn’t wearing during this hot season, behind all that there was something that had a pastel pink ribbon.
That was all Levi saw between the space of the hanging laces of the spare boots. The colour was striking, nothing like the rest. It was so back in the wardrobe, so covered up, so squeezed on the deepest corner that it screamed ‘I’m a secret’
But Levi had been there before searching for secrets, back when Isabel and Furlan were still around and if that pink thing ‘whatever that is’ had been there, he would have seen it. There was something so particular about that shade of pink with golden tiny letters on the edges. He had seen those before, he knew exactly what that was the second his eyes landed on it.
His pale hand slowly but surely penetrated to the back of the wardrobe, reached the pink ribbon and pulled from it. The champagne coloured cardboard bag had the name of the expensive Sina’s wall clothes shop that his, his, girlfriend liked so much. The subtle rose pearl ribbon was tying the opening of the bag. The satin fabric of it shined gracefully in the light of the room and felt like velvet under Levi’s finger as he pulled from it.
Usually, he was known for his stoic uninterested expression but right there, he was lost in the process. His lips slightly parted, his hands grabbed and pulled out part of the items inside of the bag. A perfume, hygiene stuff, a cute thick baby blue dress, stockings, what seemed to be pyjamas, a thick knitted cardigan, cute soft and pretty rose pearl underwear.
He didn’t need to get it closer to his face to smell it, it stinked with his girlfriend’s perfume. He didn’t need to check the size of it, because he knew it by heart. He didn’t need to question where he got it from because Levi already knew.
Morning before leaving to the former HQ of the scouts for their winter break, their winter break. Before the ball, before all the shit that went down. Her, his sweet baby girl, carrying on that cardboard bag on her elbow as she delivered Erwin’s breakfast. The cardboard bag with the clothes for the morning after the ball, the morning that was meant to happen but never did. The morning after everything was planned for them to lay together for the first time. That cardboard bag.
It hit him like a bulk of ice water. The simple thought of those ridiculously expensive clothes that his girlfriend wore lying there as a dirty secret made him want to throw up in range.
‘What do you do with her fucking clothes? you jerk off? you sniff them? to keep them as a last hope or a lost dream? you keep them… you keep my woman’s clothes. You, you who said you moved on, you who said that you just wanted her as friends’
Levi, who had plenty of sex but non relationships before this, was the only authorised to keep Y/N’s clothes aside from herself, obviously. Because those were her clothes in his place. He felt it possessing his body, the rage. The thought of his innocent angel talking to the blond and him observing her to keep memory for later on, later on when he may grab those stockings and stroke his dick with them.
‘if this was the underground…’  Levi said to himself ‘I would have cut your dick off and fed it to the dogs, then I would have made you bed for it,’
Levi gritted his teeth so hard that they began to make a crackly sound against themselves, painfully almost.
The anger was clouding his judgement, he knew that Erwin was much more than just his girl's ex and so that made the thought stop there… a mere thought. ‘We are not in the underground,’ Levi remind to himself. While down there taking matters into bloody hands was the norm, and the recommended if you wanted to keep your own head safe and send the message; Levi was smart enough to quiet himself down.
‘I need to be subtle like this surface assholes yet assertive’
He was quick to place everything right as it was, hide the crime scene and Levi had cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene. Once the door opened, he was just making the bed.
“You want tea?” Erwin's approach was friendly, perhaps happy that Levi was finally easing out between both.
“Sure”
His face was stoic as usual, the voice was monotone as it should be but the eyes. Erwin was a clever man and he noticed the change of attitude, those silver ones were aiming for blood.
“Everything alright?” the commander in line questioned.
“If by alright you mean the mess you have in this fucking place,” Levi replied and moved to the door of the room as he knew the tea was going to be at the office.
“Ah, sorry,” Erwin chuckled, slightly imprinting a ‘non-aggressive’ attitude.
‘Calm down, calm down,’ his head repeated ‘I had always liked to save the best bite for last, savour the taste,’
But the overwhelming feeling of foreign anger was a demon possession. Y/N was his first romantic partner and he had made it clear that she was the last one. Dealing with the necessity of making clear that something was ‘mine, mine and only mine’  and the overtaking greedy green demon of jealousy was something he wasn’t used to.
Especially since they were trying to keep it as a secret. Like an optical illusion that once you see it, you can’t undo it. Levi felt his trust in any aspect of the matter abandoned his rational side, Erwin wasn’t trustful around his girl. His girl. How his large hand would land on the bottom of her back as he squeezed to pass through on a tricky small corridor.
‘Why doesn’t he stuck his hand on his fucking asshole before touching her?”
Or the little tap on her shoulders as he appeared to reach for a book she was jumping for. Her pounding expression as he messed up with her height. The smile he gave her, the adoring eyes of a lost lover. Levi felt as if he was losing his mind.
“You alright?” Hange questioned, concerned next to him during dinner as he had dead eyes, that type of expression he usually saved to hunt titans outside of the walls.
“Yeah,” He quickly replied but the pressure his fingertips put against the palm of his hands wasn’t healthy or painless. They were walking back to the blond’s office, for more paperwork before his trip. Levi hadn’t even mentioned to her, he kept it to himself. But if he had to declare it to her, he would have say “I trust you! I don’t trust him,”
‘I can’t take the bag away, he will notice,’ Levi replayed the options in his head as his insomnia kept him up at his shared room in the male barracks.
The simple thought of those clothes pure as a white dove laying in Erwin’s personal chambers was driving him nuts. They smelled like innocence because that was what she was before Levi stepped in, and that innocence was something she gave up for him. It was his gift, Levi was the man that made her feel safe enough. Erwin had no right in keeping a little fragment of that innocence.
‘Maybe he forgot to give it back,’ His only rational size tried to fight back the overtaking of his soul  ‘Please, he had over half an year to give them back. Those clothes weren’t forgotten, they were laying perfectly saved and protected there. There were kept with love, with affection, with lust’
His memory recalled that time that someone dared to cut Isabel’s hair and how quick he was to kill them. ‘I’ve grown soft’
‘We are not in the underground anymore,’
He waited for his dessert patiently so the third day of Erwin’s absence, he insisted on delivering papers to his office. She was there, immaculate, and sat down on a chair that looked absurdly big for her. Y/N smiled brightly when he crossed the room, submerged in paperwork. Trying to give more than just her best performance, prove she was worthy of such responsibility.
“Hey there” her voice was soft and excited, it held the kind of feelings that being in love could only. It bothered him how much it made him tremble inside, getting her adoration gaze upon him.
“I made you tea,” Levi said as if the tray with it wasn’t enough information and then added “And more paperwork,”
She groaned a complaint and stood up, the chair was pushed backwards to hit the window on the back. Her slightly bending position over the desk as she tried to add perspective to the strategy plans that she was analysing. If she hadn't been so lost in her work, she would have noticed the lock click or the tray left at a side round table and not at the desk.
The pencil in her rosy lips moved from one side to the other as she studied the situation. The candle burned steady on the upper right corner and the window revealed the dark panorama of the training forest. It was late, late enough for cadets to be on curfew and superiors crawling back to their chambers.
“You’re getting yourself overwork, let him have some shit to do when he comes back,” Levi said. His finger brushed her hair out of the way, scooping it to her right side and making the hairs of her neck raise.
She hummed as Levi grabbed the sides of her hips and pushed them backwards, her cheeks resting on top of his groin as his fingers tried to feel the flesh of her thighs through the uniform.
“Oi, I’m talking to you,” He insisted as she kept her attention on the blueprints.
With the neck exposed he began to kiss and gently suck the sweet stop of it right where the jaw met the neck. Taking his time nibbling the left shoulder and the collarbone as his left hand left the hip and pushed the white shirt she was wearing to a side.
Her humble mixed with a repressed moan resonated, her hand trying to push the one that remained securing her hips,  “I’ve a lot to do,” was her first attempt to brush it off, “I need to focus, Levi,” she insisted.
His lips were persistent trailing her shoulders to her neck, as the nibbling became playful bites that made him dip his teeth slightly deeper.
She chuckled, “Stop it,” without any conviction in it. Her teeth pressured slightly on her bottom lip as she enjoyed the demanded attention from her lover. Levi’s sucking the tender parts made her escape a shy moan.
“Miss L/N? I’m retiring for the day,” a strong knock at the door of an office that wasn’t hers and the voice of a soldier on the other side made her come back to her senses.
“Sure, you’re dismissed from activities John,” She replied quickly readjusting her shirt, ashamed. Levi’s patronising hand didn’t leave her hips which made her turn around frowning seriously.
“Stop it, you’re insane if you think we will do anything here,” she whispered.
Y/N had hardly initiated anything before, her girlhood lost only a couple of months. Therefore Levi had always been the controlling one and, aside from his personal preferences, kept it vanilla. She was a little delicate Sina’s wall flower, unused to the rough handling and a taste made for sweets.
Levi’s pale slender finger tapped rhythmically the bones of her hips that he refused to let go and little could she do against his power. Thoughtful, he observed intensely making her pale. Silver piercing eyes in the search of any weakness.
She glazed around, “I-I don’t want to disobey him,”
Levi’s stoic expression remained outside, but he could feel his core burn with irritation. The mere thought of Erwin’s feelings or wishes holding privilege over him made him tutted.
“Oh,” a breathless mock, baring teeth as the clench of anger turned into a smirk. Levi allowed a chuckle to escape momentarily before humming “So it’s a matter of orders?”
The sudden change of attitude made her turn around completely, “Well yeah…” she hesitated “He’s… my future commander,”
The dark haired man frowned intensely, each word filled the fire that burned him from inside.
“No, no,” his voice was passive and quiet but deep. His movements were casual, as he raised a hand to touch his jaw, wondering or pretending that he did. Before the same hand grabbed her soft face, pressuring the cheeks together as his thumb caressed her lips. They began to turn so scarlet with blood rushing in. This thumb pushed her bottom lip down as he admired the inside without rush, he had all the time of the world.
The girl, on the other hand, timidly tried to remain still as her mind battled the idea of comprehending what was going on. 
“I’m the man you answer to, I own this pampered little body of yours,” Levi’s voice got authoritarian as it got firm, not excitement whatsoever as if he held all the power. Why the rush or the strength if he already knew who was in charge “If I say that we are fucking here, with me bending you over this polished desk so I can fuck you harsher and steadier than in a bed, to the point the only shit you can do is part your legs wider trying to fit me in that slutty tight cunt. The only possible answer from you is asking if I want my cock sucked first.”
“You’re getting it all wrong, sweetheart,” His voice was steady and patronising, as he was talking to a child. “He’s not your commander, he’s nothing of you and you’re all mine.”
The push on her chin to make the head bend downwards, forcing her eyes to look up.
She was in a complete blank state, Levi had never behaved like this before. But she felt her heart thudding, was all she could feel aside from the saliva accumulate. The thought that she may have been biting more than she could chew echoed at the distance. Her body filled with the stupidness of bravery, the shameless intrigued to know how far this could go. Poisoning curiosity clouded her judgement as Levi’s voice deepened with husk.
The only few inches that made Levi taller than her felt like feets. The strength that he showed off in the training grounds felt like completely put into the grip of her cheeks and this new version of him, that she wasn’t entirely sure from where it came from, was making her lose concentration. She had always liked Levi’s dominant nature, sure but this? She felt like she was a prey getting cornered as her aggressor wetted his lips to the thought of having her as a whole course meal.
Tired of pampered little daddy’s princess, it was time for her to learn how to please him properly. To take what he had to give and be grateful for it. They had spoiled her rotten, it was his duty to show her the place where she belonged. And that was keeping his cock wet and warm.
Words were trapped in her tight throat as her mind spinned around, trying to grasp the situation as Levi did her face. Hazily shy tongue tasted the salty feeling of the man’s thumb. The hash texture of the teeth under his digit, the velvet feeling of her tongue and the witness of her mouth around it. Enough to almost make him blush or smirk, no holding back, no anymore.
“Good girl,” Levi’s puffed heated whisper made her tremble.
Glittery eyes, the embarrassment was unfurling in her rosy cheeks. Ashamed of how much it made her feel tight and warm but yet as if there was a place inside her that wasn’t filled properly. The deepness and reassurance of his tone, she wanted to hear it forever. On repeat until it was the only word she knew.
The whiddraw of his finger, only to add two more. Index and middle pushing deeper as she voluntarily ran her tongue under them. Hollowing cheeks as the pulling sensation pushed Levi’s finger deeper. The spit filled her mouth as it got wider. The pressure those digits did against her tongue as they adventured deeper, pushing her jaw and tongue downwards as they curled at the end, forcing gag reflex. Her mental will of keep sucking as brushing her tongue against them filled her conviction despite the overwhelming feeling of throwing up. ‘His dick is bigger,’ the thought that kept her pushing forward as the man felt the spit of her lips against his knuckles, sometimes teeth nibbling slightly. 
“Good girl,” he repeated, “You want to impress me?”
She hummed a positive reply as her pressure intensified while Levi took them away slowly. Rubbing his fingers together, enjoying the moisture that made them glide easily. 
Taking a step behind, Levi sat down in Erwin’s English green chenille chair. Resting his weight on the pushed surface as if he carried on so much on his shoulders. Elbows on both sides as if he was waiting for entertainment. Knees parted, creating an outward tilt that made the bulge shine prideful as it strained against the tight white trousers.
It made her jolt in her body, the sight of it as if she would never get used to it. Seen it before but it was always as mesmerising as the first time. The candle was still burning on the desk. The window was as wide open behind the chair as Levi’s leg while he waited for service. The idea of anyone recognizing that there was still someone in Erwin’s office or, for goodness sake, Erwin coming back from the trip early made her tremble. Her bottom lip became a prisoner of her teeth as she still wondered how much of a good idea this was.
“You don’t call me that.” His deep frowned expression made her remain quiet “Call me commander,”
“Lev–”
“Commander, sir..” Her breaking voice as she tried to process whatever that was happening conceived him the pleasure of carrying on.
“What a good girl,” Levi breathed out, mocking how easy it was to make her obey. “Come here. Are you going to behave for me?”
Her body combusted, it felt tight and warm but empty. Her covered knees with the combat boots hit the carpet of the floor as she squeezed between the chair and the desk. Levi pondered the idea of calling someone, so they would come in and force her to gag on his dick as she kept sucking while he tugged her under the desk. ‘Maybe for another occasion,’
“I asked you a question,” Levi’s firm, demanding voice warned. His demeanour held the undertone of someone who won’t accept rebellion.
“Yes,sir- Commander, sir,” She quickly corrected, and it made a chuckle echo in his throat.
Whatever was the thing that possessed Levi was making her succumb to a situation that she truly didn’t comprehend but made her whole body feel in a way it had never done before. Her body ached with the need to take anything he offered, thank him for it and do her best to get a compliment for taking it so well.
The meat of his inner thighs felt trapped, he petted himself through his uniform pants, lazily as his body rested on the cushioned surface.
“Make me happy, do your job,” Levi ordered with his voice dying from husk. She was reluctant at first, it felt wrong that it was someone else's place. It even smelled like someone else. Levi dedicated her his undivided attention as he frowned deeply.
“Do I’ve to do all the fucking work?” Levi complained under his breath as he sighted. Pale hands quickly unbuckled his belt, then he raised slightly from his place, just to push the leather off completely and let it rest on the desk.
A short hiss quicked his breath and then he sighted, as he unbuttoned the front of his pants and dragged down the zip. His hand reached for his cock as it shifted to the contact and then pulled out.
Y/N glazed up to him, trying to find the conviction. The fear of being seen from the training ground while sucking her boyfriend’s dick at someone else's office was something hard to forget. His finger’s run through her hair before gripping it in a handful made ponytail. Strands of hair tangled with his pale fingers as he pushed her face close to him.
“C’mon. Behave..” Levi breathed out as his other hand tugged his own pants off down his thighs and grabbed his dick from the bottom. 
Gripping tightly the strands, making her his as he pushed her closer. Shiny curious eyes getting closer to his cock as she didn’t push away anymore, her breath ghosted against it. The difference of temperature of his warm shaft made him want to buck his hips against it.
Yn’s mouthered herself as he lazily did one, two jerks to push down the foreskin to reveal the flushed deep red tip. The side thick vein shined proudly as he pressured near the sack and then raised up to pressure the slit. Her rosy lips parted to give it a timid kiss before flatly running her tongue against it, giving it a particular harsh suck to that throbbing vein. Closed eyes before they opened lazily to look through her eyelashes with lidded eyes. 
Levi’s breath stuck on his throat as she got him wet enough to engulf him soon. “Yeah, just like that, as I taught you,” Levi growled as he remembered that those lips had only been corrupted by him. She was getting better and he could tell. By the grip of his made ponytail, he pushed himself down her throat, quickly and aggressively.
No time, no patience. He did another tug and forced more of himself deep down her throat. Enjoying the warm and the wet as he groaned echoing in the empty room. The idea that he had been training her to take him exactly as he liked him, drove him nuts.
The girl choked a noise as her eyes tear up, relaxed her jaw to take him deeper as Levi forced her head still while his hips rocked forward.
His hissing reaction to each time he drove deeper into the engulfing wetness that dripped from the corner of her stretched rosy lips. “Fuck, suck harder. I taught you how to suck a dick, didn’t I?”
‘I’m trying!’ she wanted to say but Levi was so thick, so heavily against her tongue and he wasn’t yet all the way. The tip hitted the back of her throat each time he trusted forward. If she hollowed her cheeks, she would gag more on the spit. It would have been easier to run her tongue as he pushed in if she wasn’t fighting to slack her jaw trying to fit him.
The wet glide produced obscene loud noises as it sliced Levi’s cock.
“This view is mine only mine,” Levi moaned as he observed her face contouring, eyebrows drawn together as she tried to fit him all in.
Y/n’s also glazed up to look between heavy lids Levi undo in front of her, dusty cheeks, frowned expression and nor particularly of pain, groans resonating in his throat as his dick hit his throat. She gagged, hopefully, as he hissed before letting his head fall back. It was ridiculous how much he was enjoying it. The wet lovely noises before her gag as he forced her head to bob down on him filling the office. He liked it so much that he moaned while painfully gripping her hair.
He tugged her off, impossible pumpled red lips fighting for oxygen as she was breathless. Dizzy on arousal and in confusion. Watery eyes looking up to him and he commanded “open up,”
Reflective pinky tongue out as it was covered in glistering saliva, flat exposed as Levi hollowed his pale cheeks. Gathering moisture and with a loud sound, let the spit hit her mouth.
“Swallow,” and she obeyed, at this rate not questioning much. “Open up,” he breathed and smirked at the clean surface, ready for him to ruin again. “You’re a fast learner,”
Re-adjusting his position. Without warning, his firm grip that pushed her off, forced her back on his cock. Easily slipping in, she put all her back into it. Each time an inch deeper, a harsher pressure and moved more her tongue as they got a pleasant rhythm.
“Fuck, yeah. Just like that, love. Use your tongue more,” Levi seemed to have lost all inhibitions and he began to succumb to the pet names. All she could do was whimper around it and dipping into Levi’s thighs for balance.
Seeing him come undone was marvellous, it filled her pride. Maybe he was the one in command but her mouth delivered so much pleasure that he was head slackened against the chair, hissing in need, was beyond comparison. Maybe those previous underground chicks were naturally better but Levi became insane around her, always wanting more, always ready to break another rule for the sake of having her.
Hm her throat groaning warned him when he had pushed her all the way down, her nose against the dark hairs tingling against her nose, drooling down her chin as the spit turned thicker and sticker. Deeping her nails on his legs, patting out heavily of her nose.
Handful of kick breath as she her throat pushed Levi’s head past it “Shallow, shallow all of it,”
No more resting on the chair, curved for a better view as he tighten the grip to fuck fastly her flusterring throat. Tears merciless crossed her cheeks as she jerked and turned impossible red trying to fit it all.
“That’s it, fuck.” his breathing quickling as his voice was covered in necessity and arousal “You’re taking it so well, so fucking well,”
‘Oh that’s it,’ who needs oxygen when humanity’s strongest soldier is loudly moaning how good you take it. There was no instinct of survival, as she took all of it, felt deeper each time and drooled over his hips. The burning sensation each time that he went balls deep and the prideness of taking each inch.
Sobbing as it becomes too much at some point. She wasn’t sure what was wetting her face, her tears of her split as her hazy brain fighted for survival. Her knees hurted from the strength of not falling backwards from the trust of his hips.
“Fuck, yes yes,” Levi was in his own world, scratching the desk chair that didn’t belong to him. Staining with dark spots the chenille  each time that he drove to abused that hole “Fucking shit,”
At this rate, she wasn’t even trying to not gag to reduce the chances of someone hearing. She couldn’t take it anymore, too much. Her lungs hurted as her hand pinched his thighs, patted them. Anything that would make Levi erase the grip. Finally free, Yn rested one hand on the floor as she caught her breath.
“God…” she hissed dizzy, coughing as their ragged breath filled the place. Levi took a brief moment to observe her down, quickly catching his breath before raising from the chair to grab something from the desk. 
Piercing grey eyes looking into her demanding, squeezing her cheeks together. Forcing dewy eyes to look back at him with tears on the corners, glimmering gems looking into his. ‘What a pretty little sight,’ He was the only one he had seen it, and he was going to make sure it remained that way.
“Whose whore are you?”
“Y-yours,”
“Whose?”
“Yours,” this time with conviction, making him sight contented.
“Get up, I’m not done with you,” Levi growled.
Tugging from her forearm, obligated her to raise up by placing a hand on the carpet. Warm red cheek against the cold surface of the desk, hands pinned on the back. Levi’s cold hand made the hairs of her neck raise as he pushed the shirt and jacket up her back as far as they could go. Hot tongue tracing up her tailbone as he travelled the exposed skin.
It took all her self control to not moan under the minimum touch, she had been feeling dripping since the moment she decided to thoughtlessly invest in this idea and finally the attention was back on her. Hips pushing hard against hers as he humped her clothed ass, enjoying the pressure and squishing her against the desk.
Persistent lips sucked the crock of her neck a couple of times before straightening up. Palm of his hand on the bottom of her back. Pupils going thin as he remembered the owner of the office touching that place. Levi sighed breathless as he admired the view, her timid arousal eyes looking at him from the corners as he gave another good push with his hips, trapping her against the table. Soft moan as he shoved her promptly onto the table.
Levi wished she would be wearing a skirt, it would make it so much easier. Cursed under his breath the uniform tight pants.
“W-what is that?” She quickly questioned as he grabbed her hands and tight them together with his own belt, quite painful.
“This,” Levi bended to hower on top of her, to whisper “is for making me so fucking jealous,”
She could feel the bruises happening, not only around her wrists but on her hips as Levi gripped them with such strength as his teeth clenched. 
Pelvis pressing against hers “Levi,” Yn gasped enjoying the friction but it was getting too much to handle. The moisture between her legs was getting uncomfortable as she needed something, anything, to fill her up.
Strong tug from her hair, pushing part of her upper body up and mixing her pleasurable necessity with arousing pain.
“I think we had already agreed it was commander, cadet,” Levi gritted his teeth.
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry commander-” Y/n hissed in pain and then her face fell into the cold surface again, breath clouding the polish surface as her lungs ragged. Slightly shaking to the sides, trying to win back his interest and finally allow her some relief.
Undoing her belt and pulling down the pants, they reached far enough to her knees. The boots would make it impossible to take them off completely, the tingling sound of the buckle moving as her legs parted trying to fit him between them better. Biting the inner part of her cheeks with the molars, patiently waiting for him to finally rampage inside her.
Levi was taking his time, lazily jerking his hard cock as he admired the views. Pert, round ass and youngful beautiful legs that shined with her wetness that runned known from her neediness. It made him bite his bottom lip, thumb parting her inner fingers without touching her clit. If she was coming, it was from his cock only.
Tight little hole, he had been using it non stop the last couple of months and yet, it still looked so small. Gripping her ass, pushing it to the side to admire it better. Fingers kneading the meat to his heart content, full display only for him. ‘I’m getting that damn Captain promotion just for this, my own desk to ramble her every fucking day,’
She couldn’t take it anymore, feeling the tip of his head running up and down her folds, collecting her slick, but not getting close to her enter and neither to her clit. .
“Commander, please. Please-”
“How pretty is it when you beg,” Levi murmured holding his shaft as it leaked an ooze of precum with excited “Beg me more, princess,”
“Please, I really need you inside-”
“Oh you can do much better than that.”
Planting her forehead on the desk, sucking her bottom lip harshly as she got exasperated. She couldn't touch him, she couldn’t see him, she could barely feel him as he refused to get near the good places with his dick. Legs trembling in anticipation “Sir, please. I’m begging, fill me up until all I can feel is your dick pointing me to the point it hurts,”
His sinister chuckle as the words would have been impossible to come from her lips a few months ago when she was still an innocent girl, now she sobbed for him.
“I wish he could see you. Hungry little slut for my cock,” Levi grunted as he pressed the head against her enter and trusted himself aggressively.
Red bruised lips from biting parted soundless as she pulsed around him. It felt as if he was in her throat. It felt too much to handle but he didn’t wait for her to adjust, not this time. His right hand on her neck, forcing her head back down and imprisoned her. She felt the need to push away but the desk made sure there was nowhere to run. 
Air hissed through his clenched teeth as Levi drowned his eyebrows together, it was a heavenly warm and tight encompass. Despite the grip on her hands, keeping them together, her knuckles paled as she pressed her fingers into her palms. The feeling of her cunt being abruptly filled, her legs trying to part more in vain to fit him better. She could feel Levi press and pull against her walls, it was overwhelmingly good that she swore she was sobbing.
Her moans began to mix with Levi’s groaning as he gravitated and rocked his hips. Moving himself steadily, trying to fully make his wave the tight place. Levi hissed breathy as she tugged his cock in all the right places.
Quickly, despite feeling his hips against hers, buried to the hilt and satisfied groans living his mouth, he didn’t wait. Slowly pulling out, her legs backed up of how painfully slow it was before rambling back on it. Slamming himself with no restriction, stood up properly to repeat the action.
Jaw tightening up as his teeth clenched “fucking shit, yeah, that’s it. Open up,” sighed as he enjoyed every minute.
“Commander-” her voice soft as a plea to then wheezed incoherent moans that filled the room. It felt too much, Levi bottoming each time, pistoning her hips.
“This fucking hole was made for me,” Levi pushed Yn’s cheeks apart as he gritted “I could barely fit my fingers before and look at that, now your cunt is sucking me in so nicely. Doesn’t want to let me go. Do you feel me rearranging your guts? It’s taking my fucking shape”
Levi had always had a dirty mouth but hearing him talk like that felt too much. Each time that he went balls it, it hit all the nice places. It was overwhelmed, to the point that all she could do was just slacken against the desk. Sobbing in pleasure how good it felt, she kept teething over the edge of coming but it kept building up.
“Are you crying because it feels good?” Levi pulled out completely, making her gasp loudly and watching the slick still connecting them.
“Ah…” She breathed, unable to perform any actual word and her legs shaking. Gladly she was that the desk was doing all the support, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to hold herself up.
Grabbing her neck and using it as support as he smacked back in with a loud wet smack. Bending over, whispering “or because I’m fucking you in Erwin’s desk as some cheap corner whore?”
“Commander-” Yn weeped as she gritted her teeth, feeling the pressure of Levi’s hand on her neck and the other on running up and down on her body before painfully grabbing her hips again.
“You’re fucking dripping, you enjoy it Don’t you? You get off by me treating you for what you’re, just some tight cunt for me to use? Wait until you see his face when he notices the stains on the carpet,” Levi growled, getting himself excited.
“Ah-” She cried, trying to part her hips wider in vain, restricted by the uniform. Levi raised his right knee to the desk, to shift the angle and go deeper, if it was even possible.
The orgasm was foreshadowed. She came, muffling her cries the best she could so the rest wouldn’t hear, the bricks were thick but not that much. Pulsing against him as she cried overwhelmed. Levi wasn’t stopping.
“Ah- Fuck,” He moaned feeling the sudden walls sucking him so nicely.
“Tell me how much you love it.” no waiting, only unstoppable necessity of more. The desk shaked under the power and the blue-prints with the stressing paperwork falling from it. The candle falling and, luckily, turning off. Leaving them in the dim of the night.
“I-I love it, it’s so good. I love your cock-” Bumbling and sighting out. She didn’t even know what else he wanted from her, she couldn’t even feel her arms or her legs from knees down at this point. Head turning to the side, trying to catch some fresh air. Desk fogging with her rushed puffs.
“Ah- Ah-Ah” little noises escaping her lips as she felt coming again, jolting her body as Levi didn’t seem to have intentions to stop but the rhythm getting chaotic. Without lights all she could feel was the permanent presence of his hand on her neck, keeping her in place.
“I’m gonna breed you properly, so anyone can know to who you fucking belonged to,” Levi muffed out, hitting deeper and rougher each time. If it was even possible. The head of his cock met her cervix each time as he got carried away, dangerously.
“Fucking hell, yes” Levi gritted his teeth, succumbing to a muffle mix of swearing as he reached the end. Head throwing back as he lost any rhythm and inhibition. 
“Levi…” forgetting the formalities and saying his name. The fingers of her feet contorning in pleasure, her hands tugging from the belt, arching her back and squirmed.
The not yet captain pressed as deep as he could, as his dick twitched and unloading himself inside. Laying on top of her back as both tried to regulate their breath, resting his chin on her shoulder as he admired her dizzily state and her features covered in wetness, from tears, spit or the sweat. He waited there until he finished working himself out.
“Stay still,” he groaned, raw voice after all what happened, straightening up. Both hissing as he withdrew his softening dick.
She attempted to look over her shoulder but she couldn’t even phantom the idea of gathering the energy for that. All that she could hear was Levi’s humming as he pushed her cheeks apart. Thumb gently massaging the hole as it began to leak his cum.
Then something began to clean her up as he kept prying open to see it all out.
“So pretty,” he murmured, mostly to himself.
All she could do was lay there limp, gasping for air or for her consciousness. It was so dark when she finally opened her eyes again. He was gently tugging her from her arms, soft quiet touch nothing compared to before.
“Do you want a shower?” He offered, knowing that they could take advantage of staying in the private chambers. After all, it was almost a suicide mission trying to leave the higher ranks’s building at the middle of the night without getting caught.
Not entirely sure how but Levi had manoeuvred both of them to be cuddling against the chair, playing with her hair.
Sleepy hummed a negative replied “I can’t feel my legs… neither my hands,”
“Oh yeah…” he undid the grip but she hissed loudly now down from the high, noticing the deep marks around her wrist.
“What the fuck happened to you?” She questioned once she felt her regular partner was back.
“I got carried away,” was all he murmured.
“It’s my fertile week, you said we weren’t going to sleep together these days,”
“I got carried away,” he repeated uninterested in going into details.
She fell asleep at some point and he allowed her. Carefully as a mother that puts a kid on the crip, Levi slided her body off from his. He cleaned the papers, picked up the blue-prints, and turned off all the candles. The place was right as it was before they came in, except from one thing.
The uncomfortable silence as both pondered over the recent activities “... how am I supposed to look at Erwin’s face after this?”
Levi didn’t reply right away, chuckled dryly and said “well better for you, less neck pain from looking up,”
Pale finger reaching across the wardrobe, pulling out the pink ribbon bag and opening it. He admired the lingerie with what he had cleaned up his own load off. It was pristine before he stole it a couple of days ago and now it was stained with him. As so was her. He could help it to grimace as he folded it and put it between the clothes.
‘I’m fucking insane,’ he thought with no remorse. However, Levi was sure that if the blond found out, he wouldn’t bring it around. It was either admitting that he had kept his ex clothes or both pretending this never happened. As the future captain was getting to know the Commander in line… he bet that this was the last time he was going to hear from this.
Perhaps this was the last time he could let his inner sassy thug shine through until he had to shut it down to behave as a proper leader. Then when the blond came back, they crossed pathways in the corridors.
“I cleaned your office. You live in a pig’s shit,” Levi casually commented.
The tall man smiled “Thank you, I appreciate it,”
Humming positive as the former thug slowly kept his stroll in the opposite direction but stopped midway “Oi,”
Both man looked over their shoulder to see what the other had to say, Levi casually dropped “I also put stoppers to your desk, that shit moves a lot,”
The blond frowned, Levi stoically turned back and kept going as if he had said nothing. It took all his will power to not smirk on his way down to the mess hall.
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cupcakeslushie · 9 months
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Omg that last update (which was great btw) made me curious about stuff concerning Leo. I always felt like his situation felt a bit different compared Donnie and Mikey's. So like Leo is actually given such a high position in the Foot Clan and it made me wonder if there are parts of it he actually enjoys and maybe even misses when he gets rescued? Like I know Saki is just using him and has severely punished him before. But maybe there were some parts he enjoyed? I mean to be still put in such a high positions is very, idk, interesting I guess? Also I know he's still hostile towards Splinter with the first rescue, so I also wondered then why he decides/agrees to leave? Especially that last update just doesn't give me the vibes he's desperate to go. Unless you already answered that (sorry in that case oops) or if it's spoilers for upcoming updates.
So Im debating on exactly how dark to go in the comic but Leo had a fucked up time among the foot recruits when he was younger. He was bullied/abused (no SA) to the point of him blocking out most of it. He was different and basically tossed in the lion’s den without Saki caring much if Leo survived. So the biggest perk of Leo having a high rank, is that he’s safe from that. He gets to show off and come up with strategies, and have his ideas be listened to. And every successful mission means praise instead of pain.
When Leo keeps running into Raph and Mikey, it messes with his head and confuses him enough that his loyalty comes into question when he refuses to kill them. Cassandra will be the one to save Leo when Saki nearly kills him for the failures.
In those first few weeks of Leo being back with his family he’s weak and a part of him knows that going back would be a death sentence. So he stays, and as his mind clears of Kitsune’s magic, his memories start coming back. It’s not perfect. He feels anger always under the surface in danger of exploding out of him. He thinks he just needs time to decipher all the lies Saki told him over the years.
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edenfenixblogs · 1 month
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Well, tuned into the Drawfee stream...
I promised I'd check it out before determining if I'd ever be able to give Drawfee another chance after this...
Verdict TL;DR: Maybe one day, but not in the foreseeable future, especially not streams. Certainly never through my financial support ever again, unless they are fundraising for a particularly worthy charity (like in the Trans Rigs stream). But luckily, I don't think they give a shit if I watch or not, which is totally fair.
Overall: The Drawfee YouTubers didn't do anything wrong. However, their lack of acknowledgement of any Jewish pain or concerns served to further digital ghettoization and social isolation of diaspora Jews in a way that many (but definitely not all) Jews will probably find painful. Between that and the really bad faith link-sharing from the mods, I'm personally too fragile to imagine engaging with the channel again.
This conclusion is geared toward fellow Jews seeking escapist content or content that doesn't make them feel erased during this time. This is not a prescriptive recommendation for anyone else. It is simply my reasoning, should anyone else be on the fence and need insight.
The Good (There was a lot of it!):
I didn't see any Drawfee folks parroting antisemitic conspiracy theories, which is good. An extremely low bar, but one that many, many people fail to clear.
They kept their tone fun and light and didn't turn anything into a diatribe
They kept their focus on humanitarian aid and an end to violence.
I think they made a few statements generally about keeping chat civil.
They kept chat limited to people who already subscribed to the channel, which was SO smart. It kept bots and bad actors from making the chat hostile.
While they all joked about silly stuff, they never jokes about real issues or the pain of anyone involved in the conflict. This is very important!!!
Chat in general was a very good place to hang out. Most people were just happy to be there and commenting about funny and fun art and it had the (mostly) typical Drawfee vibes, which I miss.
There was nothing performative or disingenuous about the team's intent: They wanted an end to violence. They wanted aid to reach Palestinian refugees. They wanted to encourage voter turnout in upcoming elections, and they wanted people to pressure their representatives to call for a ceasefire. These are all unambiguously good things.
Most importantly: They raised WELL over $100,000 for PCRF, which (despite not being totally perfect) is a very well-rated charity that has no history of its funds falling into Hamas' hands and is geared toward helping children. This matters much more overall than the stream's impact on me personally.
Ultimately, I believe the stream did more good than harm by a large margin.
The Iffy (Neither good nor bad; just things that I noticed):
Basically, none of the actual Drawfee crew did anything antisemitic that I saw. But they had a lot of missed opportunities -- to affirm solidarity and support with Jewish viewership, to acknowledge Jewish pain in any way, to advocate for a peaceful solution that left room for any negotiated peace between Jews in Israel and Palestinians in any capacity (whether that meant as Israel or as a newly formed state of some kind), or to be specific and directed in how they wanted people to approach a ceasefire.
I didn't hear any call to specifically keep the chat free of antisemitism. I tuned in a few minutes late, so maybe I missed it.
No substantial knowledge of the conflict demonstrated. Just that the current situation is unacceptable and should stop. I don't know anyone who disagrees with that (who I consider to be acting in good faith), but no language from the team about how to bring about that end to violence other than demanding a ceasefire.
Mods had a chance to add links to AllMEP charities, A Land for All, and some other Palestinian-Israeli and Arab-Israeli and Muslim-Jewish charities that support either inter-faith healing OR even just solely pro-Palestine charities that have inter-faith or inter-cultural backing. They did not add these to the shared links that I saw. (This would have been fine if they had a rigorous evaluation process and couldn't moderate and evaluate quality at the same time. But based on the links that WERE shared, I severely doubt that was the case)
Someone in the chat was repeatedly giving the very good advice that when writing your representatives to demand a ceasefire, you should demand that the US offer to facilitate a negotiated peace and permanent ceasefire between Israel and Hamas. Again, my feed crashed a couple times, so I may have missed it. But I personally did not see any of the mods or the Drawfee crew acknowledge this or mention Israeli suffering or Hamas violence once.
A least one of the mods should have been assigned fact-checking duty. Not many falsehoods were posted, but some were and community-members had to address them.
As expected there were lots of people posting watermelons, flags, and FtRttS. But, surprisingly, nobody was spamming it. I've written before about why the phrase FtRttS is upsetting to me personally, but I'll probably do a larger breakdown about i in the coming week. I appreciate that in general, people did seem to use it respectfully, in good faith, and without clear aggression toward Jewish people. There was some clear aggression toward Israelis (as in citizens not politicians), in general, but not too much or from too many people.
The Bad and Pretty Ugly (This is why I ultimately have to step away and other Jews might have to as well. At least for awhile):
Honestly, for all the care that people put into this stream, there was a general apathy toward and invisibility of Jewish people suffering in this crisis. Like I said, nobody on the on-screen Drawfee team did anything antisemitic. That was nice. Unfortunately, it didn't really seem like any actual effort was put in to determine what links were worth sharing. It was more of a "the mods like this one so it's allowed" sort of thing. Even cursory research on most of the links shared involved blatant instances of antisemitism, historical revisionism, or that just in general fell apart on any inspection whatsoever.
They could have made a lot of Jews feel seen and heard by mentioning the hostages even once, acknowledging 10/7 even once, acknowledged even once that Israel continues to be bombed from Hamas and Hezbollah daily, acknowledging that this is a war with two sides that both require an end to violence...literally any ONE of those things would have made a difference. But it was all just ignored, which is far too common when dealing with this conflict. This is especially painful for Jews who, like me, have experienced social isolation and digital ghettoization during this time. I think a lot of Jewish viewers will struggle to reconcile how this echoes a lot of the erasure that we all feel in our daily lives and in our digital spaces and in our hybrid digital and in-person communities. (<- Reblog 2 contains the accounts of The Jewish Experience of antisemitic erasure and ghettoization)Like, I do understand the argument that this is about providing humanitarian relief, but I also don't know why so many creators (and this is NOT unique to Drawfee) pretend like Jewish suffering is not relevent to ongoing discussions.
The mods posted links that supported UNRWA and some chatters spoke up in support of the UNRWA without any consequence. (All links here are verified as highly credible with high factual reporting standards via Media Bias/Fact Check and represent analysis from left-leaning, right-leaning, and least-biased sources)
One mod also posted a link to decolonizepalestine(.)com (not including the link because i don't want to support blatant propaganda). I have shared information about this terrible, bad-faith website before but there's so much more to pick apart here that I will reserve an evaluation of it as a source for a whole post of its own, unrelated to Drawfee. This website does cite its sources, but it provides no mechanism for readers to evaluate those sources. They are not hyperlinked and each individual citation must be looked up individually. I don't even have remotely enough time to do that right now. But if any of my bookwormish allies wish to tear apart those sources or the website in general, be my guest. Tagging y'all for visibility, but do not feel like I am actually asking you to do this work. It is simply something to add to the list of bad sources that we'll have to tackle at some point. cc: @comradevo @the-road-betwixt @faggotry-enjoyer @arandomshotinthedark et. al.
The mods also shared arab.org a few times. It is weird to me that they could have recommended AllMEP, which routinely emphasizes interfaith and intercultural and international cooperation and peace, but instead chose this much less evaluate-able source that excludes any efforts to find cooperative peace between Israel and Palestine. I had not heard of Arab.org before this stream and when I started to look into it, I fell into a bit of a rabbit hole:
So, first of all, Arab.org is a charity? organization? network? based in Beirut, Lebanon. I can't find them on Charity Navigator. The homepage didn't have a clear mission statement, so I navigated to the About Us tab. That gave me a little more information.
There, they state that their vision is to, "Empower people & organizations to do good." - Vague, but inoffensive. OK.
They state that they have three objectives:
Raising awareness, which they define as, "Civil society’s active role and through active collaboration." -- Vague but inoffensive.
Raising hope, which they define as, "Enabling the use of technology to innovate ways of contributing to the wellness and welfare of society." -- Vague but inoffensive.
Raising standards, which they define as, "Education, Reporting, Communication to & from civil society in the Arab World." -- Unclear, but inoffensive. Are they trying to raise the standards of these listed items within the Arab world or are they trying to raise international standards to be more inclusive of these listed items that originate from within the Arab world. And how do they define increased standards? Whose standards? IDK. This doesn't tell me anything really, but it also doesn't tell me anything bad, necessarily?
So what about their principles? Well, they list 5:
"Collaboration: Only together as a collective, can we bring about real change and betterment to society." -- OK, fine, but this still tells me nothing.
"Transparency: We conduct our business with a high level of transparency and a simple development model and we publish our impact publicly." -- Great! Excited to explore that!
"Innovation: We use our skills and creativity to make the world a better place. We want to make it possible to both inform and take action to solve the problems we discover." -- Intriguing, but how?
"Inclusion: We champion the inclusion of everyone in society, whether it is part of civic inclusion or charitable inclusion." -- This sounds really promising!!!! I'm excited to learn more!
"Leadership: We believe in taking the lead whenever wherever required by empowering individuals and organizations to influence others towards common goals." -- Gonna be honest, this just sound like vague buzzwords to me, but if they actually accomplish what they set out to do, great.
Luckily, each of these principles was clickable.
Let's start with "Collaboration"!
This takes me to a weirdly vague page with a gif of various men helping each other climb out of frame. The text below it says "We are currently on the look out for the following technology/platforms/businesses relevant to civil society" and then a list of pretty random things, some of which have checkmarks near them. Why is the formatting so strange? Why don't they all have checkmarks? Why is only the indicated section clickable but none of the other things? Where is more info about any of these items?
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But fine, lets click that one clickable link about online marketplaces.
It doesn't actually take you to a marketplace but a page where artisans in the Arab world can submit their information. Submit heir information for what? Well, this is what the website says:
We understand how difficult life is for craftsmen & craftswomen to compete with mass-producing giants. We’re here to change all that. We are creating a win-win-win relationship whereby all sides benefit from our new platform “Shop to Help"
The "Shop to Help" is not clickable. I have no further information on what this is.
Fine, there's one more thing to click on this page: a list of Arab.org's partners.
First up: The Arab Institute for Women at Lebanese American University. Clicking on the info there takes me to the AIW:LAU website. Arab.org says the organization used to be called "Institute for Women’s Studies in the Arab World," but I couldn't find anything on Charity navigator for them either. Cursory research on them shows they've been around for 50 years. Fine. I'm not doing an evaluation on them right now (anyone who knows anything about them feel free to comment. I just don't have time) I was just investigating how they partner with Arab.org. I didn't find anything about that aside from a list of AIW's partners, which lists Arab.org amongst them. Clicking the link to Arab.org just takes me back to the homepage. I've learned nothing.
Next: They list Bayt.com, which is a job search site. Clicking that link takes me to the Bayt homepage. I couldn't find that addressed partnerships of any kind was their affiliate links page? But becoming an affiliate helps the affiliate make money, not Bayt. So I'm unsure what's going on or if this is even related.
Third: Building Markets. As far as I can tell, this is a real organization. I also cannot find them on Charity navigator, nor can I find any information about how they partner with Arab.org from their website. They do clearly share their financial information, though, which is great. I neither endorse nor condemn this organization. I'm not investigating them right now.
Fourth: Takreem Foundation. I CAN FIND THEM ON CHARITY NAVIGATOR! But they aren't rated. A search of the Takreem website shows no affiliation with Arab.org or accessible financial information.
Fifth: #GivingTuesday Woohoo! They are on Charity Navigator and have a pretty high rating! However, there's no evidence of a link between them and Arab.org, and the organization claims to have no list of official partners or participating organizations. Odd. Did Arab.org run a #GivingTuesday campaign and highlight #GivingTuesday instead of the organization they were giving to? Idk. And I don't have time to figure it out.
Sixth: CSR Engine. It's just a website with nothing on it except the statement "World’s first business for good solution to assign & align CSR activities seamlessly using AI and blockchain technology," which is the same text available about it from the Arab.org partners page. It does show it's affiliation with Arab.org...by listing Arab.org as a customer and then linking back to the Arab.org homepage. WHAT IS GOING ON.
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Finally, and buckle up for this one cuz its a doozy, Greenpeace: I'd actually heard of this one, but I don't really know anything about it. Clicking Greenpeace doesn't even take you to the real Greenpeace MENA site. It just takes you to Arab.org's really weird write up page about Greenpeace. So, instead, I searched for Greenpeace on Charity navigator, where it got a 100% rating. Awesome! I clicked the charity navigator link, which took me to the Greenpeace Fund website. But wait a second. What's their connection to Arab.org? Well, there was no search function on the GreenpeaceFund website. So, I typed Greenpeace into google and uh?????
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What?
That was surprising. I clicked the link and...
It showed me a totally different website...
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Than the one I was just on...
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Mods and the Drawfee crew stopped people from sharing links unless those people were mods. That was a super good choice which I fully support. But why did the mods share THESE links?
Well, I had the websites both open in side-by-side tabs.
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That's...odd... So I studied the URLs more closely...
The lighter green G that's less pixelated? THAT ONE is the Greenpeace Fund. That is the one with penguins and a 100% charity navigator score.
The one with the lime green, pixelated G? That's Greenpeace International, a conspiracy/pseudoscience website with low crediblity.
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But hey, the Greenpeace International website says there's a MENA-based branch. And, upon closer inspection, the Greenpeace International MENA website is the one that was linked on the Arab.org page. Maybe that one was better?
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Clicking it took me to the Greenpeace MENA site...
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which gave me another blinking Conspiracy Alert Icon from Media Bias Fact Check.
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Just to be safe, I typed Greenpeace MENA into google, and fam... it is not better.
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PS: searching ANY Greenpeace website for Arab.org showed no results.
In one last-ditch effort, I checked the Transparency page, where Arab.org claims to be "leading by example" in sharing all their documentation for charitable donations. And y'all it's fucking weird.
Let's stick with Greenpeace cuz they're already open tabs on my computer.
First of all, Arab.org's "leading by example" financial disclosures...
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...are literally just the "Thank you for donating" receipts that you get whenever you donate to any cause. It's fucking weird.
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And yeah, you read that right. For all of the 4th financial quarter of 2023, Arab.org donated just $109 TO THE ORGANIZATION WHICH THEY CALL A FEATURED PARTNER.
"OK," you say. "Well, there was a fucking lot going on in the fourth quarter of 2023. They were probably more focused on Palestine." Sure, lets check out their donation history to UNRWA (which, btw, is still a not great charity)
In case you don't want to click another link--Spoiler alert, they only donated $380. For the whole quarter.
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And before you say, "But Eden! You must have missed it Arab.org is another organization called The Olive Tree (The Olive Tree SAL). That must be where the REAL work takes place!" Look at the mission statement of that one! The call themselves, "A mission-driven social enterprise startup making an impact for the common good.''
No.
The Olive Tree SAL is not on Charity Navigator. It's just another nothingburger website that links back to Arab.org and has no search function or further information.
This is the entirety of the website:
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And a weird little LinkedIn logo that takes you to the organization's business page on LinkedIn.
From what I can tell, Arab.org just uses Ad revenue to generate minimal donations for charities and organizations of varying credibility that mostly don't even seem to know that Arab.org is even doing anything related to them. And that are designed to make people who are basically uninformed on the whole topic feel good for clicking on a link.
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IDK, color me unimpressed. But I'm frankly a little mad that I spend so much fucking time trying to promote charities and organizations that promote peace between Palestine and Israel with actual detailed financial reports and disclosures that seeing this really makes me upset. Maybe if people actually listened to Jewish people with a lifetime of experience dealing with this conflict and trying to help solve or even Palestinian people on the ground who are affected by all this, they might instead focus their energies on one of the many organizations that are actually doing something to help alleviate suffering, increase empathy, encourage education and interfaith dialogue, learn to use language that is respectful of everyone undergoing and who has survived trauma, or build a peaceful future.
Whatever.
Donate to an AllMEP Charity:
And the craziest thing is that I'm gonna be the one who gets hate for this--even tthough I've been so driven out of most fandom spaces and discourse spaces that I can't even tag Drawfee here, let alone I/P, Palestine, or (G-d-forbid) Israel and get this to reach people who this could actually hep.
Because every time I try to engage, I'm inundated with messages like this:
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73 notes · View notes
acescorazon · 29 days
Text
Title: Changes
Chapter: 12
Rating: M
Word count: 2838
Chapter excerpt:
All of Buggy’s negative emotions quickly overwhelm and consume him. He feels like he’s trapped in a never-ending nightmare, and can’t help but go over his every little interaction with Mihawk and Crocodile. As he wonders where it all went wrong, a series of memories play out in his head like a movie.
|Ch1|Ch2|Ch3|Ch4|Ch5|Ch6|Ch7|Ch8|Ch9|Ch10|Ch11|
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Buggy cries until he’s unable to cry anymore and even once his tears dry up, the heavy ache in his chest lingers as he tries to process what just happened between him and Crocodile. Their confrontation from earlier plays in Buggy’s head on an almost endless loop, reminding him of his failure to seize the perfect opportunity to get what he wanted finally. Buggy has wanted a somewhat peaceful life for ages now, yet when the opportunity arose for one, he foolishly turned it away. 
How does that make any sense? 
Buggy doesn’t understand why he couldn’t just accept Crocodile’s apology. It doesn’t matter if Crocodile was or wasn’t being completely sincere. His apology was a chance for them to be on ‘good terms’ at long last, so why did Buggy reject it so quickly?
Crocodile was apologizing and trying to make amends, he was offering to finally put an end to all the bad blood between them, but Buggy had a meltdown and rejected the opportunity to finally be happy. Even if they had a short-lived friendship and Crocodile ended up going back to his old ways a week or two later, Buggy could have still benefited from the situation greatly, but he just… shut everything down and didn’t want to hear anything. 
Buggy can’t help but wonder when he became a man who cares if someone is being honest with him or not. Buggy himself is someone who would lie constantly if he needed to, so why can’t he accept Mihawk and Crocodile’s dumb apologies? Why can’t he forgive and forget, and just allow himself to have a moment of happiness?
All of Buggy’s negative emotions quickly overwhelm and consume him. He feels like he’s trapped in a never-ending nightmare, and can’t help but go over his every little interaction with Mihawk and Crocodile. As he wonders where it all went wrong, a series of memories play out in his head like a movie:
It’s about two weeks or so after the official debut of Cross Guild, and the island is a lot more lively now that  Crocodile and Mihawk (and, of course, Daz) are around. The three men are all the residents of Emptee Bluffs Island can talk about these days, well that, as well as the formation of Cross Guild.  
Buggy seems to be the only one terrified that the two former warlords will be calling Emptee Bluffs Island their home from now on though, but he’s trying to remain hopeful. He thinks that maybe, just maybe, he can get on Crocodile and Mihawk’s good side, so not too long after the formation of Cross Guild and their first meeting, he starts brainstorming.  The only problem is Buggy’s mind constantly loops back to the same idea. He wants to give them each an expensive gift but he doesn’t want Crocodile to ask where he got the money for said gifts from. It sucks because gift-giving seems like the best way to show Mihawk and Crocodile that he’s not so bad and make them feel welcomed, but he knows he can’t do it without Crocodile getting all pissy with him. 
Meh, it’s not like he’d know what to get them anyways.
After several days of thinking, pacing around, and asking his men for some much-needed advice, Buggy decides to instead throw Mihawk and Crocodile a nice dinner. He knows that Crocodile and Mihawk aren’t exactly the most outgoing people on the planet, but he has hope that once they see all the effort Buggy and his men are going through to make them feel welcomed, they’ll be a little less hostile.
Buggy dedicates a lot of time and energy to planning his little dinner for Crocodile, Mihawk, and Daz and making sure that the event is kept a secret, which is no easy task considering how much his men like to sit around and gossip. Everything is honestly a little stressful, and at times he worries that everything will end up ruined thanks to someone running their big mouths, but thankfully that never happens. In between deciding the menu and the entertainment for the night, and sending his men out for supplies, he spends his time preparing a welcome speech for his two new subordinates. 
The hard part is coming up with a speech that makes him sound cool yet warm and welcoming at the same time. He can’t just say something like, ‘Surprise! Welcome to the island!’ That’s too simple, too boring, and lacks the emotions that Buggy’s trying to convey, but he can’t figure out what he should say instead. Whatever, he’ll figure it out eventually.
Buggy and his men decorate the cafeteria to the best of their ability on the night of their surprise dinner. At the end of the day, their humble, little cafeteria is nothing compared to a lavish banquet hall, but it feels a lot more cozy and intimate than a banquet hall could ever be. They push several tables together, arrange them nicely, dress them in (cheap) white tablecloths, and decorate them with fancy dishware and napkins. After that, Buggy and his men bring out the food and wine, and everyone seems thrilled as dinner time rapidly approaches.
This is it, Tonight is going to be the night that he wins Mihawk and Crocodile over with his world-class charm and charisma. He has his speech ready and tucked neatly into the palm of his hand, and now all he needs is his honored guests!    
Buggy has one of his men go and fetch Mihawk, Crocodile, and Daz once everything is ready. His heart is pounding in his chest as a mixture of excitement and anxiety washes over him and makes him feel all jittery, and he has to constantly remind himself that everything is okay. In fact, everything is going perfectly for once…Or at least everything seems to be going perfectly at first. Buggy and his crew wait for what seems like hours for their guests to arrive with the fear of Dinner growing cold lingering in everyone’s minds. Eventually, the three newcomers arrive, and when they do, they don’t look surprised and thankful… If anything, they look… annoyed. 
Buggy doesn’t even get to yell ‘Surprise!’ or something cool because everything goes down-hill before he gets the chance to. 
Buggy watches as Mihawk looks around the nicely decorated cafeteria. His expression is devoid of any emotion, and he looks… unimpressed at best and bored at worst. Buggy looks over at Daz next, and he has a similar expression as Mihawk, which is disappointing but not surprising and he shouldn’t have expected much of a reaction from him to begin with. As for Crocodile… Well, his face shows the most emotion out of all three men. Crocodile clicks his tongue loudly and looks rather annoyed as he scans the room and takes in the warm and friendly atmosphere.
“You made me stop what I was doing for this?” Crocodile asks, narrowing his eyes at Buggy, who is baffled, just baffled at the reaction he’s getting from all three men.
“We wanted to welcome you guys to the island!” Buggy says sheepishly, and he can’t help but feel slightly irritated that none of his honored guests are happy to see their surprise. In fact, now that he sees everyone’s sour expressions, he feels a bit hesitant to say the speech he spent so long preparing. “Uh…Um, Please, have a seat!” He says, gesturing to some seats that he specially picked out for the three of them that are right across from his own. Crocodile exhales a sigh, “I ain’t hungry.”
“Neither am I.” Mihawk replies immediately afterwards. 
Oh. Buggy thinks at that moment. Just, Oh. Buggy had decorations hung up and placed all around the room, he had all this delicious food that they wouldn’t eat on a normal day cooked, he had fancy wine bought and live entertainment arranged… He... He really thought that Mihawk and Crocodile would see all the effort he put into welcoming them and would want to sit down and have a bite to eat with Buggy, but they just… 
Crocodile’s cold words yank him back to reality, “Instead of throwing tacky little parties, you should be working on that list of things I gave you to do.” He mutters as he turns around and leaves, and, unsurprisingly, once Crocodile leaves, everyone else follows behind him silently.
A nasty tension lingers in the air once the three men make their leave. Buggy and the rest of his crew eat quietly and as quickly as possible before making their way to their respective sleeping quarters for the night. The whole ordeal leaves a bad taste in Buggy’s mouth, but he decides to give both Mihawk and Crocodile the benefit of the doubt. Again, they aren’t really social people, of course, they wouldn’t want to participate in some giant get-together, even if it was for them and was a friendly gesture. 
So, after that Buggy tries again to get on Crocodile and Mihawk’s good side. He doesn’t want Cross Guild to be built on a rocky foundation, but more importantly, he doesn’t want Mihawk and Crocodile to hate him and make him suffer. He figures he was thinking too big, too flashy, and should have instead done something smaller, but just as impactful. His mind goes back to the gift-giving thing, and he really doesn’t want to give them something overly expensive and come off as seeming disingenuous or worse have Crocodile question where he got the funds for the gift from. 
Everyone Buggy asks seems to think that Buggy should totally give them bouquets to welcome them to the island and as a friendly gesture, and after some consideration, he agrees. Buggy gets a couple of different recommendations but most of the people he’s talked to say he should give Mihawk and Crocodile lilies, and Buggy, not knowing much about flowers blindly follows their suggestions. He eventually decides to give them both a bouquet of beautiful orange lilies, which he has delivered to the island as soon as possible. 
In the meantime, Buggy spends hours and hours trying to plan out the perfect scenario and what he’s going to say to each man when he gives them their gifts. He’s having the same problems as before, and can’t figure out what he wants to say exactly to either. It has to be cool, though, that’s for sure. Something like, ‘I can tell you’re shocked to see these stunning flowers but don’t be. I got these for you, friend, in celebration of you coming to the island and us forming Cro—’ No, wait, that sucks, but hopefully he’ll figure something out once his flowers arrive.
The day his beautiful, stunning, fragrant flowers arrive, Buggy goes to Crocodile first, who is in the meeting room and right away seems annoyed to see him in front of him (like always) but, hey, Buggy’s trying to fix that. He holds up the bouquet of orange lilies in front of Crocodile and gives him a sheepish smile, “So, uh-” 
All those hours spent preparing what he was going to say become pointless in less than a second because the moment Crocodile takes a look at his flowers, he scoffs and turns his head away. “Instead of picking flowers, you should be getting my flagship ready.” 
Now, Crocodile didn’t throw his gift on the ground and stomp all over it, but it kinda feels like he did. Does Crocodile really not see the effort he’s putting in to get them on good terms…? Buggy places the flowers down on the table in front of Crocodile and gives him another smile, this one a little more forced than the last, “Oh, well… I just wanted to give you these and…” His words fail him at that moment, and he no longer knows what he should even say to the ungrateful man sitting in front of him, “You know, welcome you to the island… and I hope that... Cross guild is a success and that we can be good friends in the future…” 
Crocodile rolls his eyes, “I don’t need any friends, and I certainly don’t need any shitty flowers.” He says rather dismissively, “Now if you don’t have anything important to tell me, get out.” He orders and brushes Buggy off with the shake of a hand. Buggy’s head drops and he quietly makes his way to the exit, and he swears that on his way out of the meeting room, he hears the sound of something being tossed, most likely into the trash can, but he doesn’t want to think about it. 
Okay, so Crocodile is a dick. Buggy already knew that and he shouldn’t feel so gutted. It was obvious from the start that he wasn’t going to act positively towards a gift from Buggy no matter how nice it was. But Buggy was just hoping that… Whatever. It doesn’t matter. 
Things with Crocodile might not have gone well, but he still has Mihawk…Right? At least there’s still hope that he can make an ally out of him… right? He finds Mihawk several minutes later, tucked away underneath a tree and polishing his sword. The sight of his giant blade brings back memories to when Crocodile and Mihawk first arrived on the island and Mihawk chased him and tried to slice him to pieces. And although it isn’t possible for Mihawk to hurt him, at least not with a sword, Buggy still finds himself growing a little uneasy just from looking at his blade. 
Buggy hides the second bouquet behind his back and clears his throat as he approaches Mihawk. “Uh, Hawkeye…?” He calls out quietly, and much to his surprise, Mihawk’s initial response isn’t hostile or cold. He expected him to glare at him with sharp, piercing eyes and go: “What is it now, clown?” Instead, Mihawk glances up at him for a split second before looking back down at his sword, “Is there something you need?” He asks in his usual flat tone. 
By this point, Buggy’s forgotten everything he wanted to say to Mihawk, but still tries to say something nice anyways, “Uh, I know we didn’t get off to a great start, but I wanted to give you these as a welcoming gift…” Buggy tells him, “I don’t know, I just really want us all to get along. So…yeah, here.” Buggy slowly reveals the flowers that he has hidden behind his back, and the moment Mihawk sees them, his face contorts into an irritated expression. “You say that you want to be on better terms with me, but you’re giving me orange lilies?” He asks, narrowing his eyes at Buggy. Well, yes… though orange lilies seem to have several different meanings depending on who you ask, most of Buggy’s crew said they were a positive thing, something you’d give to someone who started a new job or got a promotion, or such.
However… It turns out Mihawk doesn’t have the same feelings about the flowers.
“You’re basically giving me a bouquet that tells me the opposite of that,” Mihawk states with a scoff, “Orange Lillies represent a deep-seated hatred for someone, did you really think i’d appreciate a gift like this?” Woah, woah, woah. What? Buggy thinks. He definitely did not mean for his gift to give off that sort of vibe, and he doesn’t know why Mihawk is the one person on the island who thinks these flowers are something negative.
Buggy feels a little flustered by it all. His face reddens and he tries to stammer out a quick reply, but is once again unsure how to salvage the situation, “No, I…” He tries to speak, but Mihawk puts his hand up in the air, signaling for him to stop talking. 
“I don’t want your gift. Go away.” Buggy feels like he’s been punched in the gut, and he cannot for the life of him figure out why Mihawk’s being so… unreasonable. Is that even the right word to describe him right now?
“I didn’t mean for my gift to come off the wrong way,” Buggy finally manages to say after a moment of thought as he tries his best to defend himself, “I don’t know much about flowers, an–”
“Why are you giving me a gift you know nothing about then?” 
Ouch. Buggy doesn’t have a response to that, so he just lowers his head in defeat once again and walks away from Mihawk. That’s such a nasty way to look at things, yeah, Buggy doesn’t know much about flowers, but he was genuinely trying to do something nice for Mihawk, and he’s acting like he spat in his face. Whatever, Buggy thinks, feeling rather hopeless at the moment. In the end, he decides to give the flowers to a random member of his crew, one who definitely doesn’t see the flowers as a hateful gift and happily accepts them with a beaming smile.
…If only Mihawk and Crocodile had that same reaction.
60 notes · View notes
yanfairiie · 8 months
Text
TIME ENDS ALL ✦
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kafka x fem! reader
cw: angst???, probably ooc kafka, character death, mentions of blood and murder, violence with guns ig, my first post btw TvT
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you never expected such a thing to happen at all.
to be reunited with your old friend to now suddenly be admist a battlefield, stabbing and slashing away at enemies around you, blood creating a sea of crimson around your feet.
"how did you get in this situation?" some may ask.
ask and you shall receive.
. . . .
it all started when you and the astral express crew received news an infamous stellaron hunter has wreaked havoc on a hostile planet and while you would've avoided the journey, the mention of kafka's name snapped your eyes in himeko's direction.
"kafka? in this planet?" you suddenly spoke, interrupting the red-headed woman. everyone looked at you, surprised that you abruptly speak up about kafka and with such gentleness too! the mention of the other two stellaron hunters would make your voice intimidating.
"okay then, who's going?" you asked, and welt responded, "me, dan heng and stelle.. are you interested in coming along, y/n?" you nodded rapidly as you went to your room to get your sheathed weapon.
you returned no later and said, "im tagging along then." everyone looked shocked but they didn't object you going with the trio. himeko simply sighed, "if you're going, make sure to return in one piece, y/n. this is a hostile planet and you have to be careful, everywhere you go."
march sprung up from her seat and hugged you tightly, "make sure to take pictures! i won't be tagging along this time." she and himeko waved at you and the departing three as you lastly said, "sure, i promise."
and with that, welt stated, "let's get going now and put an end to the violence." you smiled as the four of you descended down onto the vast planet below.
once you were all gone, march's vibrant smile dimmed down to a frown. "y'know himeko. . is it just me or did y/n look a bit happy at the mention of kafka? like not with a smile but with a sparkle in her eyes. ."
himeko gazed down at the planet below and hummed, "you're not the only once, march. y/n did look rather entranced when we mentioned kafka. i think they used to be. . . close friends."
. . . .
you coughed at the smoke blurring your vision slightly as you stabbed through an enemy's neck. you almost feel like passing out at this point but you have to keep fighting or else you won't be able to stop her.
kafka. your old best friend. your crush. your frenemy.
you and the astral express crew were on the run towards catching kafka. news from the planet's higher ups reported her escaping from the guards, last being seen in a vast plain near active volcanoes.
you stood behind dan heng as kafka's elegant voice echoed, "hm? the astral express crew here in this blazing inferno planet? not a surprise, this is what elio told me on what would happen anyway."
"listen soldiers. get rid of those unworthy of my presence." suddenly as if on cue, a horde of soldiers came chasing after you all, making you take out your weapon.
"see if you can catch me now~" and with that she leaped off. dan heng gritted his teeth and shouted, "after her now!"
so many words could describe the chase and the battle that broke out. despite kafka manipulating the powerful soldiers, she took out her guns and started shooting bullets everywhere with that oh, so perfect smile of hers.
welt's void abilities, dan heng's true power and stelle's preservation powers almost were proved weak if it hadn't been for you slashing the incoming enemies charging towards you all.
that's when you realized that reinforcements arrived and started killing their way towards the crowd, slowly aiming towards kafka's head.
not wishing to see kafka injured, you broke free from the trio and sliced through the air, contact with an reinforcement's sword. kafka, ━ sensing someone was behind her ━ unknowingly shot a bullet through your shoulder and neck, thinking you were just another weak enemy of hers.
how horribly wrong she was.
you choked out blood as stelle screamed your name and started heading towards you through the blazing red. at the sound of your name, kafka's eyes widened as she saw your familiar figure slowly collapse towards the ground due to the pain her bullets delivered.
"y/n!" kafka's voice sounded muffled in your ears as she kneeled and delicately grabbed ahold of your broken body. she saw the gushing blood pouring out of your deep wounds but yet, you still smiled at her softly.
you placed a hand on one of her smooth cheeks and sadly laughed, "kafka. . you left so fast. . . i don't think you know how secretly happy i was to see you again but i didn't have time to call out for you."
kafka's smiled dimmed as she said with an urgent tone, "you were?. . ill stop this all for you, just stay alive for me and. ."
but she never finished her sentence as your eyes suddenly widened. a soldier was heading straight for kafka, aiming towards her heart.
you wouldn't allow that at all, even for the person who was supposed to be considered your enemy.
"kafka, look OUT!" you shoved her away from you roughly and onto the dead grass, her eyes slightly watering.
just as the blade drove straight through your heart.
it seemed as if time slowed down for you all. at the sound of your cry, the astral express crew turned their attention on you and stopped battling. kafka eyes widened even more and for the first time. . .
she felt fear.
she was on her torn knees as she saw your bloody figure descend towards the ground with a thud, your hair flowing upwards as you did and a hand over your bloody wound.
you laid there in pain, blood seeping out from everywhere in your body. from the slashes of the manipulated soldiers to the bullets from kafka's gun to alas, the stab to your heart.
a sad expression fell upon your face as your tears dried out. kafka put a gloved hand over her lips and sobbed. why did you have to sacrifice yourself just for her? why did it have to be you?
that's when she had enough. she took out her own sharp weapon and stabbed her own body, collapsing with you.
she didn't care. nothing mattered anymore. elio's script went to waste. her hair was disheveled. her smile was gone. your smile was gone.
weakly, she crawled towards you. her last wish was to be with you once more. her only closest friend. her once true love was dead.
and it was her fault. she ruined it all.
what if she didn't join the stellaron hunters just to bring a change to her life? what if she never abandoned you and leave you in the dirt? what if she never manipulated those foolish soldiers? what if it was her that got stabbed? what if she just never joined the dark side at all?
ah, there are no what-ifs anymore.
with her lovely eyes drooping heavily for a final rest, she slipped her gloved hand into your dirtied one. her smile returned a bit, only the ends curving upwards a tiny bit.
and with that, her final words for you?
"i love you."
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A/N: HJAKKAKSAK my first oneshot and an angsty one too >:) but fr tho was it okay 😭 i need advice on how to make my bio aesthetic like those top tier writers like PLZ yall my biggest inspo 🙏 anyways tysm to those who see this, hope it wasn't too shitty TvT
also uhhh mdzs fans out there? do yk where i got the death idea from
maybe ill write the astral express crew's pov next?? who knows 😛
ill cya again >:)
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